Collateral Damage
by 80sDaysFan
Summary: In 1991, Days paired Shane and Kayla. This is an AU attempt to fix that plot by asking what if Shane learned Steve might be alive? Can Steve cope with Kayla "moving on"? Will Steve's return bring Shane and Kim together? And can everyone put aside their differences to save Salem - and each other - from Lawrence Alamain? With appearances from many Salem residents.
1. Foreward

**Author's Note**

Before posting this story, I want to provide a little information about this fic. The story began with a hypothetical - what if Steve had returned while Shane and Kayla were together.

This story begins in July of 1991 and pick up exactly where the show was at that time. Shane and Kayla are together and have fallen in love, although they have not yet slept together. Steve "died" 10 months earlier; Kim and Shane broke up a few months before that; and Kim has returned to Salem and has watched that her sister and Shane get together. In other events, Lawrence Alamain is in jail for raping Jennifer, Bo has the virus created by Lawrence and is getting sicker, and Kayla and Kim have not yet told Shane that Bo is sick. Carly and Kayla are working at the immunology lab to find a cure for the virus.

That's where this story begins, but I want to be clear about what this story is and isn't. Because of where it starts there are a few Shane/Kayla scenes that some readers may not like very much. Having recently read some interesting discussions of Shane/Kayla, I tend to think that their relationship involved love of a sort - something based on security and a desire to find some happiness - that both admit is nothing like the strong love they had with their former partners. To enjoy the story, however, you don't have to agree; all that is necessary is that you accept that Shane and Kayla have strong feelings for one another - even if those feelings are nothing more than affection - and they identify those feelings as "love."

The beginning of the story is also very Shane-centric because of the way the events transpire, but things will be much more balanced before too long. But this is emphatically not a Shayla fanfic. Nor is it a Steve/Kayla/Shane triangle fanfic. It is a story about four people – Steve, Kayla, Shane, and Kim – who are human and therefore, flawed. They have made and will make mistakes based on human emotions – loneliness, fear, pain, jealousy, insecurity, a desire to protect one another, and the desire to protect themselves. But they are also all fundamentally good people who try to do the right thing even when they sometimes feel conflicted about it. They are intricately and intrinsically bound together by circumstances and family ties and therefore must learn to co-exist and figure out how to forgive each other for hurts (both intentional and unintentional) and accept each other despite those human flaws.


	2. Chapter 1

Shane Donovan pulled off his coat as he stepped into the foyer of the Salem house. He wiped the remnants of the light July rain from his face and grimaced. It had been a tough day. Peachy's condition was getting worse, Carly seemed no closer to finding a cure, and Kim and Kayla were hiding something from him. And to top that off, Chief Tarrington had some urgent ISA matter that he wanted to discuss with Shane. Tonight.

"Good evening, Sir." Simmons, Shane's butler, had entered the foyer. "Will you be wanting your dinner now?"

It was 10 p.m., and Shane had not eaten since breakfast, but he shook his head. "Just leave something in the kitchen," he said. "Tarrington's coming over to discuss something. I'll have a bite when we're done." _If I have any appetite_, Shane added silently.

"Very well, Sir." Simmons looked around. "Is Mrs. Johnson still here?"

"Kayla?" Shane asked in surprise. "Kayla's here?"

"She was earlier and said she'd wait for you. I left her in the library."

That was the first good news of the day, Shane thought. "Thank you, Simmons," he said, making a beeline to the library doors. He opened them and spotted her. She was lying on the couch, fast asleep.

As quietly as he could, he walked toward her until he was only a foot or two away. He stood there, silently watching here. God, she was beautiful. Asleep, she reminded him of a cherub, so peaceful and angelic.

Kayla had been the one bright spot in his life over the past year. He shook his head thinking about that. It was still hard to believe that it had not yet been a year since Kim had walked out on him and Kayla's husband, Steve, had died.

Both of their lives had ended with those events, or at least it had felt so at the time. Shane remembered the pain that had nearly torn him apart when Kim left. His only defense had been to rebuild the walls from his past, the walls that he had allowed Kim to slowly break down when they had fallen in love. Even now, a lot of those walls were still there; he had just lowered his defenses a bit when he had fallen in love with Kayla.

It had taken her a lot longer to admit what he knew she felt. Steve's death had left her in as much pain as Shane had experienced from losing Kim. Perhaps it was because of that pain that they gravitated toward one another. They were two wounded people who had found some moments of happiness with each other. From there, their love had grown.

Kayla moved slightly, probably deep within a dream, and murmured something. A name. "Steve."

Shane tried to tell himself he didn't mind. After all, he had told her early on that he never wanted her to stop loving Steve, that he understood how special their love had been. He knew he could never compete with Steve, just as he knew he would never love Kayla as deeply or as intimately as he had loved Kim. The loves they had before were once-in-a-lifetime, and whatever they now had could not compete with what they had lost.

That's what Shane told himself. Intellectually, he knew it to be true. His visceral, emotional response was quite different. He couldn't change his feelings. He couldn't prevent the gnawing jealousy. But how could he ever compete with a ghost?

He sighed. No point dwelling on that now. Crouching down beside Kayla, he reached over and brushed some of her light blond hair from her face. She murmured again, turned to face him, and slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he said softly, adding a small smile.

It seemed to take Kayla a minute to find her bearings, but then she smiled back. "I didn't realize I was so tired. Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He ran his hand along her cheek. "You've been spending so many hours at the lab, it's a wonder that you managed to stay awake long enough to come over. But it's a wonderful surprise. I've missed you."

"Come here and kiss me," she whispered. Shane complied without hesitating and leaned close to her. His lips brushed hers softly, as always, letting her decide what she wanted. He had promised to go slow. She pressed her lips more strongly against his, and soon he felt her tongue probing gently. He responded in kind, and for the moment, it was just the two of them, everything else was forgotten.

Unfortunately, the world returned as they broke apart to come up for air. Tarrington, Shane remembered, and he pulled away. "I wish we could continue this," he said, apologetically. "But Tarrington's coming over to discuss some ISA matters." He looked at her, secretly glad to see the disappointment evident on her face. "You could stay until he leaves. I could have Simmons prepare a guest room, so you could rest."

What he desperately wanted her to say was that no guest room was necessary, that she was ready to commit completely to their relationship, but he saw her hesitate. "I should go," she said. "It's late and I need to get Stephanie from my folks' place."

"At this hour?" he asked. "Wouldn't it be better just to let her stay there for the night?"

She smiled and touched her index finger to his nose. "Nice try." He knew he was beat, so he stood up and gave her his hand as she rose from the couch. That, at least, earned him another kiss.

"So will I see you tomorrow?" He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked to the foyer.

"It's possible," Kayla said in a coy voice. "How about you come by the lab at noon and we can have lunch together."

Shane smiled. "It's a date," he said before giving her a final, soft kiss on the lips and opening the door. He watched as she climbed into her car and drove away. He already missed her.

Chief Tarrington arrived ten minutes after Kayla left. Dispensing with all pleasantries, he pushed past Shane into the library. "Shane, old boy, we have a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Shane had rarely seen Tarrington so agitated.

The ISA chief turned and looked Shane in the eye. "What I'm about to show you is top-secret. So classified that I shouldn't even be showing it to you; it's above your clearance."

That came as a surprise to Shane. He thought he had the highest possible ISA security clearance. "What is it?"

Tarrington seemed to hesitate, but finally heaved a sigh. He pulled an envelope out of his coat pocket and handed it over. "This came from one of our agents in Egypt. Open it."

Shane opened the envelope and pulled out a photograph. The picture was a grainy black-and-white shot that appeared to have been taken through a fence. However, Shane immediately realized why Tarrington thought it important.

On the opposite side of the fence was a figure - a man of medium build with long blond hair and a patch over his left eye.

Shane immediately looked up at his boss. "Is that . . . I mean, could it be . . . That's Steve."


	3. Chapter 2

"Wait a minute, Shane," Tarrington said. "We don't know anything for sure. It does look like Steve Johnson, but that should be impossible. He's dead."

"But . . . this. . . ." Shane waved the photo. He understood the picture was poor quality, but it certainly looked like Steve. "When was this taken?"

"36 hours ago. The compound is located near Siwa, in western Egypt, not too far from the Libyan border." Tarrington looked at Shane. "We think it's run by Alamain."

"Lawrence? What does he have going in Egypt?"

Tarrington explained. "The compound's a makeshift science and medical facility. Our European agents tracking the virus found about the facility. We no longer think the virus was tested there, but they investigated the compound anyway. That photo came out of their investigation."

Shane studied the photograph again. It couldn't possibly be Steve, but if it wasn't, it was a blurry twin brother of his. "So if it's Steve, he could have the virus?"

"It's possible. We have no idea."

Shane thought some more. "Egypt's a friendly nation."

"You're starting to see the ISA's problem."

Yes, Shane could see the problem. Attacking the compound could destroy diplomatic ties between the U.S. and Egypt, and with things so volatile in the Middle East after the Gulf War, losing ties with Egypt would be disastrous. "So why did you bring this to me?"

"Johnson was working with you when he was killed," Tarrington said. "Plus, he's been part of your family. If there is a raid, it would be 'Shane Donovan's mission to rescue a friend.'"

"The ISA wouldn't be involved at all?" Shane asked, trying to make sense of that possibility. There was no way he could go into a compound like that on his own. He needed a team, aerial support, weapons, and intelligence.

"No, of course, the ISA would give you everything you need for an assault, Shane." Tarrington walked over to the bar and began fixing himself a brandy. "But there's a catch. If word gets out to anyone that this was an ISA mission, we'll be forced to disavow the report. This would be a rogue operation and you'd be a rogue agent. And-"

"And my career with the ISA would be over." Shane finished the sentence for Tarrington.

Tarrington nodded. "That's if you're lucky. You could also be charged with espionage, but the ISA attorneys have concluded it might be tough to get a conviction."

"Thank goodness for small favors," Shane muttered.

"But in this political climate, who knows? And that's assuming you survive the rescue mission."

"Tarrington, are you trying to convince me _not_ to do this?" Shane realized he was pacing back and forth in front of the couch. The same couch where, only 15 minutes earlier, the woman he loved had been dreaming of the man who appeared to be in the picture.

"Shane." Tarrington took a sip of his brandy. "I'm telling you this so you can make your decision with a full understanding of the risks involved. It may not even be Johnson. We would understand if you chose not to risk your life and career on a mere suspicion."

Shane set the photograph down on his desk and ran his hands through his hair. "When do I have to decide?"

"Our analysts say Sunday night/Monday morning presents optimal conditions for a nighttime attack. Good weather, no moon. We should be able to drop your team within five miles of the compound without detection." Tarrington paused. "If we don't go Sunday, the next possible date is at least a month away, and we can't predict weather conditions, so you'll need to decide by tomorrow."

Not a lot of time to decide, Shane thought, but he understood. Sunday was only five days away. "What kind of team would I have?"

"You'd have an ODA from the Fifth Special Forces Group. They're skilled in desert operations."

Shane shook his head. An Operational Detachment Alpha or "A-team" was a highly-trained special forces unit. Green Berets. "How would you explain a rogue ISA agent getting an A-team to do an unsanctioned mission?"

"Their involvement will never be revealed," Tarrington said. His tone made it clear that Shane would be expected to keep that secret as well, even if he faced charges. "Nor would the aerial support. Two Blackhawks would take you in and be available for extraction once you've located Johnson and brought him out or, if you find out the man isn't Johnson, to bring you and the team out without him."

Shane took a deep breath. "Let me sleep on it, Tarrington. I'll give you an answer in the morning."

"Of course." Tarrington set down his now-empty brandy snifter and headed toward the door. "I'll see myself out."

Shane walked back over to the desk, picked up the photograph and studied it intently. The man looked like Steve, but long hair and an eye-patch was pretty minimal evidence on which to risk his life and career.

And in the back of his mind, there was a thought that he was trying to ignore, namely, that if he succeeded in the mission, he would lose the woman he loved. Yet if he declined the mission and continued his relationship with Kayla, he would have to live with the deception, the knowledge that her true love might still be alive and suffering.

It was a Morton's fork if ever there was one. Either choice had an undesirable outcome.

Shane took another look at the photo, then walked over to the brandy decanter and poured himself a large drink. He had asked Tarrington to let him sleep on it, but Shane knew there was no chance that he would sleep that night.


	4. Chapter 3

As the sun began to peek through the windows of the library, Shane again picked up the blurry picture of the man who might, or might not, be Steve Johnson. Shane studied it for what had to be the 20th time since Tarrington had left. Each time, he had tried to see if there was anything new, anything he had missed on the previous examination. Something - anything - that would tell him definitively if the man in the photo was Steve.

This time was no different. He saw nothing, just as in all the previous examinations. If Shane took this mission, it would be on the same basis as when Tarrington had left.

Shane tossed the photo back on his desk and walked over to the teapot. The tea had long since gone cold, but he nevertheless poured himself a cup, more to give him something mundane to do than because he needed another cup of tea.

Steve. He kept picturing Steve the last time they talked. At Wings, just before Steve had gone to Bo's boat and been caught in the explosion. Only minutes earlier, Steve had rushed to Wings to tell Shane and Roman about Lawrence Alamain's plot to burn down Green Oaks Forest.

That Steve had been a cop and, sometimes, an ISA operative, such a different man than the one Shane had first encountered. When they first met, Steve was simply known as "Patch." Shane shook his head as he recalled their first meeting - when Shane had tried to beat the whereabouts of Bo and Hope out of Patch. Then a few weeks later, in Miami, they had a gunfight that ended with Shane shooting Patch. Patch had been a smart-mouthed punk, just another one of Victor Kiriakis' thugs, and Shane had actually been annoyed that Bo saved the thug from drowning.

How things changed, didn't they? Even early on, Steve was a mass of contradictions. He came to Salem seeking revenge on Bo, but then worked with them to clear Bo's name. For all of his professed loner ways, Steve had joined them to search for Marlena when she was kidnapped. And despite his intense hatred of the ISA, Steve had worked with Shane and Gabrielle when Victor Kiriakis had put a contract out on Shane.

Then there had been Andrew's kidnapping. Shane knew Steve had information about Andrew's disappearance; Shane had been prepared to beat it out of the man in Cleveland. Yet, despite how much Shane wanted to believe otherwise, he became convinced that Steve had no involvement in the kidnapping.

Shane took a sip of the cold tea, and spit it out. It was vile. He probably should go into the kitchen and heat up the kettle, but he knew that was just a way of distracting himself from the decision he had to make.

_You're deluding yourself_, he thought. _There is no decision to make._

For so long, Shane and Steve had been little more than acquaintances. Even after Steve joined the family, they were often at odds. They just had such different ways of approaching things. Shane used logic and worked methodically; Steve seemed to exist entirely on emotion and rushed into things headlong, rarely stopping to consider the consequences.

But they could work well together, couldn't they? Against Stefano, on that island. Against Eddie Reed. Even when Steve was furious at Shane for not telling him about Stefano, or conversely, when Shane was furious at Steve for not revealing that Nick Correlli was alive - even then, they were able to overcome their differences and see things through. They were even able to forgive each other for their deceptions.

Shane walked back over to the desk and picked up the photograph again. There was still nothing new in it. It still was just a blurry image of a man with long blond hair and an eye-patch. A picture of a man who was supposed to be dead.

It was funny, wasn't it, the way death never seemed to be final in Salem. Shane had "died" before, during the chase to capture Jericho. That had largely been due to Steve, actually. They had captured Jericho, but Steve had convinced Shane to let him go in exchange for Marcus. "Some things are more important than the ISA," Steve had said and, probably, for the first time in his life, Shane had believed that. That belief had nearly cost Shane his life.

"More important than the ISA," Shane muttered. Wasn't that the crux of it? Kim had told Shane about the guilt Steve carried after the Jericho mission, guilt for letting Shane "die." It was the same guilt Shane had felt after the boat explosion, much of the reason he had stepped in to be Kayla's protector and why he had worked so tirelessly to bring down Lawrence Alamain.

Now, despite the medical records and the witnesses, Shane had a picture in his hand that seemed to show that death once again was not final. As he looked again at the picture, he wondered why he had even asked Tarrington for the night to think about it. There was only one answer he could ever give. If there was any possibility that the man in the picture was Steve, Shane had no choice. He had called Steve his brother when he spoke at the funeral, and he had meant every word. Now he had to get Steve home. Their history, their friendship, their kinship demanded no less.

It wouldn't just be for Steve, either. Even if the man had been a virtual stranger, Shane would have made the same choice. As much as he loved Kayla, he had told her time and again that he just wanted her to be happy. She deserved nothing less. And Stephanie, the little girl who had stolen Shane's heart, deserved her father. If Steve was alive, they deserved to have him home.

_Even if it destroys your chance at happiness?_ There was that silent voice again, the one he tried not to acknowledge.

"Yes," he said aloud. "Even if it does." Shane put down the picture and picked up the phone. He waited as it rang. Tarrington knew who it was before Shane said a word.

"Donovan," he acknowledged. "What's your decision?"

In the end, the decision was easy. It was made the moment Tarrington arrived the night before.

"I'm in."

"Good," Tarrington said. "There will be an ISA plane waiting for you at 10 a.m." Shane's boss obviously knew exactly what Shane would decide.

Shane hung up the phone. Now the hard part would begin. He needed schematics of the compound, and needed to figure out how best to work with the Green Berets. They were never particularly excited about working with "spooks," so Shane would have to tread lightly.

And, of course, he had to say his goodbyes. On a mission like this, hundreds of things could go wrong - any one of them fatal. He would go see Andrew first, then Eve, and finally Kayla. Kayla. He had no idea what he would say to her. Probably, he would try to convince her it was just another mission. There was no need to make her worry; no need to give her false hopes.

He sighed. As much as he did not want to admit it, that silent voice was begging for that to be all it was - a false hope. Shane would do his best to rescue the man. That was his duty. That was what he owed to Steve, to Kayla, and to Stephanie. But he also could not deny that part of him, deep inside, hoped the man in the picture was anyone but Steve.


	5. Chapter 4

Kayla waited for the centrifuge to stop spinning before she pulled the vials out of the machine. She normally did not work in this part of the lab, but the situation was too urgent for her to just be an administrator. Miss Peach was in a coma and Bo was getting sicker by the day. If they did not find a cure soon, both would die.

"How are you coming over there?" Carly asked.

Kayla separated the contents of the vials into two different trays, so that Carly would be able to isolate the virus. She discarded one of the trays and carried the other to where Carly was working. "You should have six samples," Kayla said.

"Good," said Carly, without looking up from her microscope.

That task done, Kayla looked around the lab to see what else she could do to keep busy. That seemed to be a constant refrain for much of the year. Keep busy with work, so she didn't have to think about other things. Like how much she missed Steve. Like how confused she still was about her feelings for Shane.

Kayla cared deeply for Shane. No, that wasn't fair. She loved Shane. It was so hard for her to admit it, because she knew what she had experienced with Steve was so special. But Kayla had found happiness with Shane. When she had wanted to give up, Shane refused to let her. He had helped her find purpose, by tracking Lawrence Alamain to his home country and then by having her run the immunology lab. He also had been her support outside of work, helping her realize that she could begin to live again. To love again.

In a way, Kayla felt guilty. She knew that Shane wanted her to commit to him, and she had been ready for awhile. But for some reason, she kept stalling. Kayla smiled as she thought about how patient Shane was. He never pushed her. If she wanted to go slow, he would wait. What was it he had said? They would know when the time was right.

Maybe it _was_ time. She _did_ love Shane, and she wanted to be with him in every way. There was no reason to put off making love with him.

Perhaps she was just scared. She was so unlike Kim, whose past experiences had probably taught her everything imaginable about pleasing a man in bed. Kayla wasn't exactly inexperienced sexually; it's just that she had slept with only a few different men. What if she slept with Shane and didn't compare to her sister? What if he was disappointed?

_You're just being silly_, Kayla told herself. Shane loved her and wanted to be with her. He could have gone back to Kim, but he had chosen her. He wanted her. Kayla looked at the emerald ring on her finger, the ring that Shane's mother had worn every day from the day that Shane's father decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Shane had given Kayla that ring because he loved her and wanted a lifetime with her. She smiled at the thought.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Kayla turned to see the object of her thoughts in the doorway. She quickly checked the clock. Shane was supposed to come around noon, for lunch, but it was only 8:30 a.m. She looked back at Shane and felt a chill.

"You've got that 'She's not going to like what I have to say' look on your face," Kayla said, walking toward him. "Tarrington?"

He nodded. "I've got to leave in about an hour."

_No_, she thought. _Not when she had just decided_. It was so unfair. She tried to remain calm. "Do you know how long you'll be gone?"

"A week, maybe." There was something about the way he spoke that made her nervous. Come to speak of it, she noticed that he had made no attempt to hold her like he normally did when they stood so close.

"Shane? Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not." He smiled at her. "I just hate being away from you."

She could tell from his voice that he was lying. There was something different about this mission, something that was making him push her away. She remembered the way Kim talked about how Shane would tense up and keep her at arms length leading up to particularly dangerous missions. Kim had described that before Shane left on the Jericho mission, and look what happened there.

"It's dangerous, isn't it?" Kayla asked. "This mission."

"You know I can't tell you that," he answered. "It'll just be about a week. I'll be back before you know it." He reached over and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.

She smiled back. "I'll be waiting. And I've made a decision that I think you'll like."

"Oh?"

"I think I'm ready. I don't want to go slow any more." Kayla had expected that to cause him to break out in a grin, but he gave her a kind of funny look. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked.

"No, of course not." He brushed her cheek again and kissed her on the forehead. "Look, I'd better go. I need to stop by the police station and talk to Roman before I go to the airport."

Kayla felt so confused, but maybe this was just his way of cushioning the blow of his leaving. She had not really gone through this with Shane before, so maybe she just had to get accustomed to how he acted before missions. She looked into his eyes. "I'll be dreaming of you. Every night, until you're home . . . in our bed. Think of me?"

"Of course, Kay." He said that with an almost sad smile, before he leaned over and gave her a soft kiss,. Then he said, "I'll be thinking about you constantly. Just remember that I love you."

There it was again. That odd tone that gave her chills. She tried to mask her fear; if he was trying to cover up the danger, he didn't need her to act scared in front of him. So she just smiled and tried to act like this was just a normal day, just a normal parting. "I love you too," she said. And because she could not completely suppress her fears, she added, "Be careful, Shane. Come back to me."


	6. Chapter 5

Shane took a few minutes to compose himself after he parked his car in front of the police station. Goodbyes were always difficult, but today's were particularly tough. First he had said goodbye to Andrew, while Kim watched. The entire time, she had held Jeannie, the constant reminder of their failed marriage. Then he had gone to see Eve, but she had been so distracted with rehearsing some new song that she barely heard a word he said. And, finally, there had been Kayla.

"Awkward" did not even begin to describe how he felt when Kayla had finally told him what he had longed to hear for so many months, all the while knowing everything would change if his mission was a success. He had tried to mask his confusion, but Kayla had known something was off. She just couldn't imagine what it was.

Taking a deep breath, he got out of his car and headed into the police station. He was not entirely sure why he was making this stop, but he just had enough nagging doubt that he wanted someone to know where he would be. Shane's faith in the ISA had taken a hit from the Jericho mission, and he wanted some back-up in the form of his best friend.

Roman seemed to be getting the morning off to a typical start as Shane knocked on the door to his office. He was shouting into the phone, and repeated the word "pal" at least five times in rapid succession. Shane waited until Roman waved him in, and closed the door behind him. After a few minutes, Roman hung up the call and looked at the ceiling in frustration.

"You'd think our evidence people would have finally figured out that they need to catalog what they get. How hard can that be?" He shook his head in disbelief as he calmed down, and focused on Shane. "So, partner, what brings you down here this early in the morning?"

Shane double-checked that the door was closed fully before he responded. "I've got a job that's going to take me out of the country. I wanted to let you know about it."

Roman pursed his lips. "Sounds serious."

"Yeah, it is." Shane pulled out the photo. "Before I show you this, I need you to swear that you never saw me today and, even if you did, we never discussed this."

"What's going on, Shane?" Roman raised an eyebrow.

"Swear it."

"Okay. I swear." Roman held out his hand and Shane passed him the photo. Roman examined it for an instant, before looking up, his eyes wide and mouth open. "Is this for real?"

Shane nodded. "Taken two days ago in Western Egypt."

"He's your mission?" Roman let loose a sharp whistle when Shane nodded again. "Wow." He handed the picture back to Shane, who put it in his inner suit pocket. "You tell Kay about this?"

"No," Shane answered.

"You have to, Shane. She needs to know about this."

"No, Roman, she can't know - and you can't tell her. I could go to jail just for showing that photograph to you." Shane sighed and glanced back at the door to make sure nobody was close enough to overhear. "Look, I don't want to get her hopes up. Odds are that it's just someone who looks like Steve. If she starts to think he's alive and it's a false alarm, she'll be crushed."

"Or maybe you're hoping it's a false alarm," Roman muttered.

Shane winced as Roman gave voice to the thoughts that Shane had tried to suppress. He knew his friendship with Roman, as with all the Bradys, had been strained by his relationship with Kayla. He just never expected his best friend to be so blunt about it.

Roman seemed to realize that he had crossed a line. "I'm sorry. That's not fair. You're probably about to risk your life to find Steve. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," Shane said. For some reason, he relaxed and felt like he could open up. "I understand where you're coming from. I can't deny . . . I won't deny that I had some thoughts along those lines, but if there's a chance it's him, I've got to try to bring him out." Shane looked away from Roman and stared out the glass windows at the busy station. "It's not like last time, when I had to choose between my brother and a friend. There's no choice this time."

Shane knew Roman would understand. He was the man Shane had betrayed by choosing to rescue his brother Drew and leaving Roman behind as Stefano DiMera's prisoner.

"So that's why you came to talk to me?" Roman asked. "So I know this time it's different?"

"Maybe," Shane said, not even realizing he was speaking aloud. "No," he corrected himself. "That's not why." Or maybe it was. Maybe he wanted Roman to think that he was trying to make up for that past mistake, but it wasn't the main reason. "I'm here because I think only you'll understand what I'm going to tell you."

"There's more?" Roman quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Shane turned back and nodded slightly. "This mission . . . It's officially an unofficial, unsanctioned mission."

Roman froze as he took that in, then let out a long breath. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"That depends on what you think it means."

"That if everything goes to hell, you're on your own," Roman said. "Have I got that right?"

"That about sums it up." Shane shrugged. "Not to mention that if word gets out afterward, I'll be drummed out of the ISA and probably arrested."

"Come on, partner, that's crazy."

"No, it's not," Shane said, his voice rising. "The Middle East is a powder keg. Or didn't you notice that we just fought a war against Iraq and have thousands of troops still there. With that going on, the ISA can't go around invading one of the few relatively friendly countries in the region." He lowered his voice. "The entire mission is my call. If I don't do it, the man in that photo stays where he is. The ISA probably wouldn't even have said anything to me, except Tarrington knew I'd be furious if they suppressed that information and I found out later." Shane could tell that Roman was once again thinking about the last time Shane had a choice about rescuing someone. "You of all people should understand."

Roman nodded slowly. "That's still a lot to put on the line."

"True," Shane said. "But Steve would do it for either of us, and it's not like he's going to say anything if I tell him to keep the mission a secret. Look, hopefully everything will go fine and I'll be back in a week."

"But you want me to know in case everything goes to hell?" Roman said.

"Pretty much." Shane knew Roman would understand. If the ISA tried to keep a lid on things by having all evidence of the mission destroyed, Roman would make sure that Andrew and Eve knew why Shane had disappeared. He did not want his children living a lifetime with that uncertainty.

Roman shook his head. "I don't envy you. You sure you've got enough manpower for this?"

"You volunteering?" Shane cut off any discussion of that subject before Roman could pursue it. "Don't even answer that. It's covered. Hey, like I said, everything will probably be fine and I'll be back in a week with a great war story-"

"That you can't tell anyone."

"Good point," Shane said with a laugh, glad to lighten the mood. "Listen, I'd better go. I've got a plane to catch."

Roman nodded. "You take care, partner, and watch your back."

Shane grinned as he headed for the door. "Always."


	7. Chapter 6

Kim was just putting Jeannie down for her afternoon nap at her parents' house when Stephanie began to cry. That set Jeannie off. Kim's daughter let loose a deafening wail, adding to the cacophony.

"Well, neither of you's lacking in the lungs department," Kim muttered, as she picked up Jeannie and tried to calm her. She was trying to figure out how to handle both babies, but Kayla walked into the room and saved her the trouble.

"I'll get Stephanie." Kayla walked over and lifted her daughter out of the crib.

"Thanks," Kim said. "I was wondering if I was going to have to take up baby juggling."

Kayla laughed, and Kim smiled. It was such a change from the tension that had dominated their relationship over the past few months. Certainly, there was good reason for it. Kim still was not comfortable with Kayla's relationship with Shane; he was her ex-husband for goodness sake and the father of her son. Kayla should have known he was off-limits.

As for Shane, Kim figured the relationship was fueled largely by a desire to avoid the emotional upheaval he had experienced during their years together. Shane had to know Kayla could never love him the way she had loved Steve. Yet for Shane, that was probably an attraction. He had always avoided attachments and suppressed his emotions, building walls to keep anyone from getting close to him. With Kayla, he could profess his love, but would never have to open his heart to her - not the way he had opened it to Kim.

Kim really did want to hate him, but she couldn't. He was a good man, responsible, and a loving father to his children. As for the divorce, she bore as much fault as Shane for the collapse of their marriage. She had lied to him about Jeannie, and he had responded by pushing her away. Then she had walked out and filed for divorce. That had been nearly a year ago. She couldn't expect Shane to spend the rest of his life pining for her. She had to have expected he would move on. She just never expected it would be with her sister.

But if the choice was losing her sister and best friend or accepting Kayla and Shane's relationship, Kim had to choose the latter. As hard as it was for her to watch, she had to admit that Kayla and Shane did seem to care about each other.

She glanced at Kayla, who had managed to silence Stephanie by bouncing her up and down. The baby was now smiling gleefully. Kayla, however, was not smiling. She looked tired and tense.

"How are things going at the lab?" Kim asked. She had managed to get Jeannie silent once more.

"Same stuff, different day." Kayla's tone matched her frustrated words. "We can't get permission from the FDA to test anything, and we're running out of time."

Kim knew what Kayla meant. Bo. He had the virus and had to be getting sicker by the day, but they did not even know where he was.

"I wish Shane were here. He'd have some idea about where to search." Kayla spoke and then froze. "I'm sorry, Kim. I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's okay. We can't exactly pretend that Shane Donovan doesn't exist, can we?"

"No, I guess not," Kayla said as she looked down at Stephanie. Her expression had changed from frustration to concern. Kim figured she knew why.

"No word from him since he left?" That had been three days earlier.

Kayla shook her head and laid Stephanie back in her crib. "No. Not a word. I guess that's how it goes."

"Sometimes," Kim said, commiserating. She had spent enough time as an ISA wife to remember the lonely nights and the worrying. Where was he? Was he safe? Was he even alive?

Kayla placed her hands on the side of the crib. "I know being in the ISA is dangerous. I just thought I could handle it, even after what happened to Steve." She shook her head. "How did you get used to it?"

"The danger?" Kim asked and Kayla nodded. Kim thought for a moment before answering. "The honest answer? I didn't. You can't get used to it. You just have to be positive and pray for the best. And try not to let him think you're worried, because that will only make it harder for him when he's gone."

"I guess that's the best you can do," Kayla said. "That's what I told myself, except when Shane left. . . . He seemed so strange, so distant."

Kim remembered watching Shane with Andrew that morning. She had seen him say goodbye before leaving on other missions, but there was something in his eyes that had been different this time. "You picked up on that too?"

"So it wasn't just with me?" Kayla looked at Kim expectantly.

"I guess not," Kim said slowly. She could not actually describe what she had seen. It wasn't worry or fear. The only time she had ever seen him openly show those emotions were when the children were in danger, times like when Andrew was kidnapped and when Eve ran away. There had been something hesitant, almost reluctant about the way he acted, like he really did not want to leave. However, Shane had been reluctant to leave on missions in the past.

This time had been different.

Kayla sighed and turned toward the door. "Maybe we just imagined things. It had to be different this time, considering how much everything's changed."

Kim nodded as she lowered Jeannie back into the crib. "Maybe." She turned and followed Kayla back to the living room.

As she did, it hit her. That look on Shane's face. She _had_ seen it before. On Stefano's island, when Shane had confessed about what he had done and, later, at the family Christmas party. The situation with her family had been so awkward during that time and Shane, who was usually so confident and so sure of himself, had seemed lost, uncertain about himself and what would happen. That same look of uncertainty had been on Shane's face as he said goodbye to their son.

Kim shivered. Worry and fear would have been better. Those were probably common on ISA missions, but they would come from Shane knowing the dangers he faced. Uncertainty was worse. Not knowing the dangers and possibly doubting himself. Those were things Shane could not afford to feel. Uncertainty could be deadly.


	8. Chapter 7

Shane sat in the back of the room as the ISA analyst went over the latest satellite images of the Siwa compound. The analyst seemed convinced that they had pinpointed the building where the blond-haired man with the eye-patch was being held and was equally certain that the man was a prisoner. Intelligence indicated that the compound would have minimal resistance; they had counted fewer than a dozen guards.

Beyond that, most of the information was just a rehash of what they already knew, so Shane took the opportunity to study the soldiers who would go on the mission. They were a seasoned group, having just finished several months in the Persian Gulf. Their captain, a stocky man with a crew cut named Nowicki, was a veteran of Vietnam, Grenada and Panama, not to mention plenty of unofficial campaigns. He had not been very pleased to learn that Shane was joining the mission, technically as a "forward observer."

The analyst finished and Nowicki stepped forward. He ran through the mission plans once more and then dismissed the group. "Be ready to mobilize at 13:00," he said. Then he eyed Shane.

"You," he said. "Come here." Shane tried to suppress a slight grin. He had been waiting for this, so he walked toward the front of the room. Near the doors, some of the other soldiers had stopped and were waiting for their Captain to take the "spook" down a peg.

"Yes, Captain," Shane said innocently, as he reached the table that held the 3-dimensional model of the compound. "Something I can do for you?"

Nowicki glared. "My team's perfectly capable of extracting one man. We don't really need tourists."

"I know the man, Captain. We don't know his physical or mental condition. He might not go with a group of strangers." Shane looked down at the model. "And I assure you that I don't need a nanny. I can carry my own weight."

"Can you?" Nowicki picked up a rifle and tossed it to Shane. "Field strip that."

Shane shrugged and looked at the rifle. It was a basic CAR-15, relatively simple to take apart. "I'll admit that I've had more practice with the MP5, but very well." He locked the bolt to the rear of the rifle, pushed the rear dis-assembly and got to work. In about a minute, the rifle was completely disassembled. "Satisfied?"

Nowicki actually seemed a little impressed. "You've had some practice."

"I trained for the SAS reserve during university. Finished the main part, but broke a leg during parachute training. I would've gone back, but the ISA thought I'd be of better use in intelligence." Shane looked at the soldier. "I can handle a weapon and am also certified to handle light demolitions - C-4 and the like."

If Shane thought that was going to end his testing, he was mistaken. Nowicki looked down at the model. "Give me a run through."

Shane looked at the model. The compound was a pretty basic rectangular design with about eight buildings inside. None was flush with the fence, so guards could walk the entire perimeter. A main artery ran from the southern gate to the largest building, which was just south of the center, an open area with paths that went east, west and north. Along those paths were what looked like mobile trailers and some smaller buildings.

Pointing to the perimeter fence on the north side of the compound, Shane started talking. "Four teams will be dropped north of the compound. Teams one and two will have four men, team three will have three, and team four will be me and Sergeant Deakins." Deakins was a large, barrel-chested Georgian with an accent so thick Shane could barely understand the man. Of course, Deakins said the same thing about Shane and, even worse, had adopted the unfortunate practice of calling him "Spooky."

Shane continued. "All four teams will breach the fence here, on the north side. From there, team one will follow the perimeter west to take out the guards here and here." He pointed at each of the western guard stations. "Teams two and three will move south, with team two taking out the central operations building and any guards who move from the southern side. Meanwhile, Sergeant Deakins and I - I mean, team four - will follow teams two and three to this point-" He pointed to where the east and west paths branched out of the center of the compound. "-and will break to the east with team three, which will take out any guards on the eastern perimeter." Finally, Shane pointed at a small building midway along the path running to the east. "Then Deakins and I will enter this building and retrieve the target." He looked back at Nowicki. "How'd I do?"

"And after that?"

"We run like hell for the extract point."

That prompted a laugh from Nowicki. "You know, Donovan, you might be the first spook I actually like."

Shane smiled slightly. "Backhanded though it is, I'll take that as a compliment, Captain."

"Don't make me change my mind," Nowicki said. "Now just do me a favor and don't get yourself killed."

"I assure you, Captain, that's definitely high on my list of priorities." Shane began picking up the pieces of the rifle and reassembling it.

"Good," Nowicki said, as he headed toward the door. "You'll save me a lot of paperwork that way."


	9. Chapter 8

Having finally gotten Stephanie to sleep, Kayla settled down on the couch with a cup of her favorite orange blossom herbal tea. A small smile appeared on her face as she thought of the grief she would have gotten from Shane for drinking a substance he did not consider "proper tea" or, in fact, any kind of tea at all.

The smile changed to a frown as she thought again of Shane, as she had so often since he left. It had been four days since he had left suddenly for his mission and, no matter how hard she tried, she could not shake her suspicion that there was something different about this one.

It was not the first time Shane had been required to leave town suddenly for some ISA business, but he had never been so distant and secretive when he left and he had always been able to call her during his trip. The fact that Kim had picked up on something as well did nothing to soothe her fears. Shane was out there, undoubtedly doing something dangerous and, as much as she might try to deny it, she was terrified he might be hurt - or worse.

She tried to tell herself that she was being ridiculous. Shane was strong, extremely competent at his job, and had been involved in numerous dangerous assignments. He could take care of himself; he always had. Even when they had thought he was dead, he still managed to come home. Yet, no matter what she told herself, the fear remained.

Taking another sip of her tea, Kayla leaned back into the couch and let her thoughts continue to drift. She knew that her fears were not just because Shane was on a mission. No, the fear came from the hours spent by Steve's hospital bedside and the unimaginable pain she had felt when she lost him. It was a pain she thought she would never get over and, if she were honest with herself, she never really had. It was no longer the sharp, nearly unbearable pain that she had felt for those first few months, but that didn't mean it had entirely gone away. No, now it existed as a dull ache, constantly there, but something she had learned to live with and, on some rare occasions, even forget for a little while. But it always came back. Something as simple as Stephanie's smile - so much like her father's - or as abstract as a stranger on the street with blond hair or a leather jacket. Even now, as worried as she was about Shane, that ache remained, reminding her that, while her life might move on, she would always love Steve and that loss would never leave her entirely.

She sometimes wondered if she was being unfair to Shane. She had told him that she would always love Steve, that she could not and did not want to forget him or the love they shared. Shane had gently told her that he never expected that, that he didn't want - and couldn't - compete with Steve. And he had never gone back on that promise.

Kayla sometimes wished she could be as accepting of Kim's place in Shane's life. Kayla knew that Shane loved her, but she also knew it was different than what he had felt for Kim. Kayla had been an eyewitness to a large part of Kim and Shane's life together and she knew they had the once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that she and Steve had. That kind of love doesn't die, as she well knew. Kim and Shane may have hurt each other deeply, so deeply that the pieces seemed incapable of being put back together again, but Kayla knew that, deep down, that love was still there.

She had known it when Kim had first returned to Salem, but Shane had insisted that he had moved on while Kim had insisted their marriage was over. Even then, Kayla had tried to back out of any relationship with Shane, but circumstances conspired against her and her good intentions.

Things might have been very different if Eve had never run away from her trial. Or if Kim had never decided to work for the ISA and get close to Lawrence Alamain. By the time Kayla had learned the truth, it was just too late. She had fallen in love with Shane and, as much as she loved her sister, Kayla wasn't willing to sacrifice the happiness she had found for Kim.

For as long as Kayla could remember, she had been the peacemaker in the family, the one who made sure everyone was okay. But she wasn't that innocent, naïve young woman anymore. Time and pain had changed her. Shane had helped her find a way to move on with her life and made her believe she could find some happiness again, and she couldn't just give that up. She would always regret that her relationship with Shane had caused pain for her family, and especially Kim. But, Kayla had to believe that she and Kim could get past that pain and rebuild their friendship.

Sighing softly, Kayla got up from the couch and poured herself another cup of tea. Maybe the second cup would do what the first could not - soothe her fears and allow her to get some badly needed sleep. But Kayla knew that was just wishful thinking. There would be no peaceful sleep until Shane returned home and she could once again bury those fears and pain.


	10. Chapter 9

The one thing Shane had not counted on was the heat. At 4 p.m. - or 16:00 as Deakins kept reminding him - when they had left the Blackhawks, it had been 104 degrees. After five miles of jogging through the desert with 25 pounds of body armor, Shane had been about ready to pass out.

"Here," Deakins passed Shane a bottle of water as they huddled under a sand-colored canopy about a half-mile from the compound. They had been camped underneath for a few hours and still had another two hours or so before they would begin moving toward the compound.

Shane drained the bottle and pulled out another so he could rehydrate before the assault. "Thanks. I think I probably lost about 20 pounds just getting here. Maybe we could market that as a new exercise regime, I don't know, 'the desert workout.'"

Deakins chuckled and said something, but other than that bloody nickname, it was rather unintelligible to Shane's ears. It took him a minute before he translated it as "Y'all's a strange dude, Spooky."

"Yeah, I've been told that once or twice," Shane replied.

"So what's so dang important 'bout this fella?" Deakins asked. "Captain said y'all knows him."

"You could say that," Shane said. "He's my . . . well, he was my brother-in-law."

"An in-law? Ain't y'all s'posed ta hate them?"

Shane tried not to laugh. "We've had our moments, trust me." He grew somber. "But Steve's a good man. Saved my life more than once. If he's in there, we've got to get him out. Get him back to his family."

"He's got kids?"

Shane nodded, and pictured Stephanie with one of those smiles that melted his heart. "A beautiful little girl. She's just one. She deserves to have her father."

"Whaddya 'bout y'all?" Deakins asked.

He had to take a moment to figure out what that meant. "Me? You mean do I have kids?" When Deakins nodded, Shane answered. "Two. A little boy, Andrew. He just turned five. And my daughter Eve's 19."

"No way. Y'all ain't old enough ta have a kid that old."

Shane laughed. That's what he thought, but the paternity tests and birth certificates didn't lie. Eve was his daughter, and she was definitely 19. Then Shane remembered something. He had to unlatch his body armor to reach his shirt pocket, but he managed to pull out a small photo and passed it to Deakins. "There," Shane said. "That's Eve and Andrew, and the baby Eve's holding, that's Stephanie, Steve's - our target's - little girl. That's from last Christmas."

"Wow," Deakins said as he looked at the photo. "Tha' daughter o' y'all's smokin'. Know plenty o' grunts who'd-" He stopped when he saw the look on Shane's face, and sheepishly returned the photo. "Um, sorry."

Shane decided to turn the tables. "How about you? Any kids?"

Deakins grinned, reached into his vest pocket, and fished out a tattered photo. It was a snapshot of Deakins, his wife, and two towheaded kids, a girl and boy. "Ginny's six and Darrell's three," he said.

Shane passed the picture back. "They're handsome kids. Looks like they got that from their mother's side of the family."

"Insteada this ugly mug?" Deakins laughed at the joke. He took another look at the photo and then put it away, before he grew serious. "Better do one last check of y'all's weapons. Sand'll git in 'em."

They both fell silent and spent the next hour or so checking their equipment. Deakins had been right about the sand. Enough had clustered around the bolt carrier of Shane's CAR-15 that the rifle would have jammed if he had not cleared it. With the rifle now clean, Shane double-checked his M9 pistol. It seemed fine. Then he and Deakins ran through an audio check with the other teams and verified that their night-vision equipment was fully operational.

"This is a hell of a lot of work for what should be a 10-minute raid," Shane muttered, eliciting a laugh from Deakins, who said something about hoping nobody scuttled the mission now.

Shane realized his heart was pounding. A voice in the back of his head asked what the hell he was doing there. What had possessed him to play soldier with a bunch of Green Berets?

Not that there was anything he could do about it now. It was far too late to change his mind. That was confirmed when he heard Nowicki's voice come through his earpiece, giving the order to move out.

As Deakins pulled off the canopy, Shane looked into the nighttime sky and pictured his family back in Salem. They were in the library of the Salem house. Eve was playing with Andrew, while Kim watched as she sipped tea from one of the porcelain cups. More than anything, that was where Shane longed to be.

"Y'all's ready?" Deakins voice intruded into Shane's thoughts and the mental image disappeared.

He nodded at Deakins. Then he began the brisk jog toward the compound with the soldiers, muttering, "As ready as I'll ever be."


	11. Chapter 10

Kim finished putting the stuffed animals on the shelf. She had finished cataloging every toy in the Abuse Clinic, and wondered what she was going to do next to keep busy. She already had updated all of the files and had removed the old files to be sent to storage. There really was not much more she could do and it was only about early afternoon.

She shivered slightly. It wasn't like she making up work to do because she felt the need to justify her paycheck. She was doing it because she wanted to take her mind off this feeling that had been plaguing her all day.

She tried to pretend that she had never felt like this before. That was better than the alternative - remembering when she had.

"Enough of that, Kimberly Brady," she said to herself. "Stop acting like a fool." She looked around the room. There had to be something she could do. No. Not really.

She picked up the phone and dialed her folks' house. Caroline answered. "Hi Mama, I was just checking in. Everything okay with Andrew and Jeannie?"

"Kimmie," Caroline said, sounding exasperated. "That's the third time you've called today. The children are just as fine as they were two hours ago." She paused. "Is something wrong? Something you're not telling me about?"

Normally, Kim might unburden herself to her mother when she had a problem, but what was she going to say now? That she _felt_ like something was wrong? Caroline was a practical woman and would hardly be sympathetic. "No, Mama. I just miss them and it's a slow day at work, so I've been thinking about them a lot." That would appease Caroline. She quickly came up with an excuse to get off the phone. "Oh, there's Doc Horton, Mama. I've got to go."

Setting down the phone, Kim walked over to the shelf of stuffed animals and picked up a pink bunny. It looked a lot like Jeannie's favorite toy.

_She's okay_, Kim reminded herself. _So is Andrew._ So why did Kim still have this feeling?

Oh, who was she kidding? She knew why. It was Shane. It was always Shane. Ever since they had met, she could feel when he was in danger. And this feeling . . . .

She shivered again. The last time she had felt like this was the day Shane had chased Alfred Jericho up a cliff and everyone thought he died in an explosion. By the time he found his way back to her, Kim had done what everyone had encouraged her to do - move on with her life. So she did, with Cal.

Cal Winters, the biggest mistake of her life. No, she couldn't say that. Cal had given her Jeannie, and Kim would never trade that for anything - not even for a happy marriage with Shane.

She shivered again. Damn it, why did she have to still worry about Shane like this? It should be Kayla worrying. Shane was just Kim's ex-husband. Most ex-wives would be happy to hear something bad had befallen their ex. She shouldn't dread this feeling; she should be happy, right?

There she went kidding herself again. She could tell herself over and over that she was over Shane Donovan, but she knew the truth. It still hurt to even think about him, to think about what she - what they - had lost. But it was too late for regrets. Shane had moved on.

And that was the sick irony of this whole sorry affair. Kim had never gotten over Shane, even though it was her attempt to move on that precipitated the collapse of their marriage.

She hugged the pink bunny close and made a silent prayer that the man she loved was okay and would come home safely, even if it meant he came home to her sister.


	12. Chapter 11

"Where are they all coming from?" someone shouted through the earpiece in Shane's ear. He was baffled too. The analysts had said there would be minimal defenses, but they were being fired on from all directions.

"Deakins?" Shane cried, and the figure in front of him gave a brisk nod. Okay, at least Shane was following the right man. In front of them, several of the soldiers had taken cover and the muzzle flashes shone bright among the green-tinted images in his goggles.

They still had not reached the central clearing. Deakins dove to his left, and Shane followed. They crouched behind some barrels next to a small trailer. The sergeant fired over them, while Shane leaned out to get a better look.

Dozens of figures had emerged into the night from the buildings on the other side of the compound. Their guns flashed, and bullets ricocheted off the barrels. Some bullets ripped the siding off the trailer and it rained over them.

Shane opened fire. He saw a couple of figures in his line of fire fall to the ground, but had no idea if they were from his shots. He just kept firing. Nowicki was barking incomprehensible orders through his earpiece. Shane was too focused on firing to pay attention.

"This way." Shane heard a yell and felt someone tugging at his shoulder. Deakins. He motioned backwards. Shane understood. Instead of going through the center of the compound, they would circle around the perimeter.

Something exploded on the opposite side of the compound and screams cut through the air. _Were they ours or theirs?_ Shane wondered. _Theirs_, _hopefully_.

They had slid back behind the trailer and Deakins started sprinting toward the east fence. Shane raced after him. Some figures came into view and Shane raised his rifle, but stopped. _Ours_, he realized.

"East side is secure," one of the men yelled as he passed them on his way to provide support to the soldiers in the middle of the compound.

They reached the path that ran the length of the eastern fence. Over the earpiece, Shane heard Deakins reporting their location. Of course, Shane realized. He had to tell the others so they didn't shoot them when they turned back to the center of the compound to reach the building holding Steve.

"Down!" Deakins yelled as he dropped to the ground. Several figures had turned their way at the south end of the compound. Shane dove and began firing. Under the onslaught from his and Deakins' machine guns, the figures stumbled backwards and fell, one-by-one. Over the earpiece, he heard Deakins laugh. "Hey, y'all, ol' Spooky here can shoot."

"Come on," Shane urged, getting back to his feet. They reached the midway point and turned back to the center. Something was burning in the middle of the compound. Acrid smoke obscured his vision and filled his lungs. He tried to ignore the burning in his throat as he and Deakins finally arrived at the door of the building they had been trying to reach.

Deakins plowed through the door like a football blocker, and dropped into a forward roll. Shane started forward, but jumped back as bullets ripped through the door jam, inches from his head. He ducked and tried to peek into the room. Deakins was firing at something on the far side.

Through night-vision, Shane saw what Deakins was shooting at. A cluster of men in the far corner. Each of their shots flashed bright. "Careful!" Shane yelled. "The target's in here." He prayed that if Steve really was in this building, he was staying low.

"Y'all just gonna ask them fer that brother-in-law? Or ya gonna help?"

Deakins had a point. Staying low, Shane moved into the building, which looked like it might have been a school. The walls had a bunch of shelves and there were a bunch of tables throughout. Shane crouched behind a shelf and opened fire. He thought one or two of the men fell.

Something flew through the air and he heard Deakins yell. Instinct send Shane diving for the door as the grenade exploded. The noise was deafening and the force propelled him back outside.

He landed, face down, and stayed there for a moment. Rising to his hands and knees, he shook his head. His head was swimming and he couldn't hear a thing.

Shane stumbled to his feet and turned. Where was he? Then he saw the door. It was still there, maybe a little wider from the blast. He still had his rifle in hand, so he staggered toward it.

The cobwebs began to clear. Deakins. Steve. Gun muzzles still flashed on the other side of the room. Funny that they weren't making any noise. Deakins was waving at him, maybe even yelling, but Shane couldn't hear anything. He tried to register what Deakins was doing with his hands. He was moving his hand from high to low.

Down. That meant down.

Yes, Shane thought. Down.

Down. As in "get down." The meaning suddenly hit him and he dropped to the floor. The wall right next to where he had been standing burst into a shower of wood shards. At the same moment, his hearing returned with the almost-overwhelming roar of shouting and gunfire.

Remembering how to shoot, Shane raised his rifle again and began firing.

To his right, Deakins was moving forward, slipping from shelf to shelf. Shane provided cover fire as the man moved. There were probably only a couple of men still alive in the other corner of the room, but they were behind something. An overturned table or desk, perhaps.

Deakins waved for Shane to move too. He spotted a fallen shelf, probably knocked down by the grenade. Racing forward, he dove low behind it as shots ripped over his head. Near the opposite side, Deakins pulled out a grenade.

"No!" Shane yelled. They didn't know where Steve was.

Deakins either didn't hear or ignored him. He tossed the grenade over the barrier. The room exploded once more, then fell silent. Shane could still hear shots and yells from outside, but, inside, they seemed safe for the moment. He ran forward, trying to see if he could spot any sign of life. Deakins reached the opposite side first.

"There's a door here," he yelled. He kicked it open and froze.

Shane reached the door and looked inside. It was a tiny room, probably a storage closet. Inside, was a man.

"That y'all's brother-in-law?" Deakins asked as they stared down at the figure huddled on the floor?

Shane stepped inside and took a good look. His blond hair was long and matted and a beard covered much of his face. The man looked up and Shane saw the eye-patch and the one good eye. It shone with confusion and fear. Shane stepped forward, but the man slid away, curling into a tight ball.

"Don't . . . don't . . ." he rasped. Even as weak as it was, the voice was unmistakable.

Steve. Filthy and unkempt. Weak and maybe injured. But it was Steve.

Shane held his arms away from his body, pointing the gun away from Steve, and moved closer. He crouched beside Steve and kept his voice soft and calm.

"It's me, Steve," he said. "It's Shane."

The good eye seemed to register something. Maybe recognition. But the man stayed curled in a protective ball.

Shane put his rifle on the ground, and held out his hands. "Come on, Steve. We've come to take you home."


	13. Chapter 12

"Steve, we've got to go," Shane said. "Please."

The man still seemed confused. That brief moment of recognition had passed.

"We've gotta get outta here," Deakins said.

"I know." Shane sighed. He had hoped Steve would come readily, but that wasn't going to happen. He picked up his rifle in his left hand and grabbed Steve's arm with his right. Then he stood, pulling Steve up with him. Steve tried to pull away, but he couldn't. He was too weak to break Shane's hold.

"Try to calm down," Shane said. "I'm trying to help."

When Steve did not respond, Shane began dragging him out. He debated trying to carry Steve, but if he struggled, they would both fall. In his earpiece, he heard Deakins reporting "Target secured."

_Secure, my ass_, Shane thought. "Maybe we could get some help taking him out," he yelled at Deakins, but over the earpiece, Nowicki already was ordering the unit to the extraction point.

Steve was still trying to pull away. Shane turned to him so they were face-to-face. This time, he wasn't so calm. "Steve! I need you to focus. We have to get out of here. We're here to rescue you."

The good eye blinked. Steve's head turned slightly sideways and he seemed to understand. Slowly, weakly, he asked, "Shane . . . that you?"

Thank God. Finally. "Yes, Steve, it's me. I'm taking you home."

"Kay-"

"Yes, Steve . . . To Kayla. But we've got to go now. I need you to come with me." Shane thought Steve might be too weak to walk on his own, so he put an arm around his waist. "Hold on to me, Steve. We need to move fast."

This time, Steve did what he was told. Shane looked ahead at Deakins, who was already at the door to the outside. Shane began moving, running awkwardly because he was carrying most of Steve's weight.

"'bout damn time," Deakins said. "Come on."

This time, they took no roundabout path. They headed straight for the center of the compound, through the smoke that burned their throats and stung their eyes. As they ran, Shane noticed that Steve's feet seemed to be moving and he was bearing more of his weight. "That's good, Steve. Keep moving."

They turned right, toward the hole in the northern fence. To their left, out the corner of his eye, Shane saw movement and then a flash. "No," he yelled, raising his rifle one-handed. He emptied the rest of his magazine, a barrage of bullets that caused the enemy to twitch and jerk as each bullet struck home. He did not fall until the rifle was empty.

Shane turned back and saw Deakins. He was struggling to stay on his feet, but fell to his knees. Still dragging Steve, Shane ran toward the other man.

Deakins' right hand was pressing against a spot just under his left arm. Blood flowed freely down his side, and Shane could see the wound. A bullet had pierced right above the top of the body armor. Deakins tried to stand, but stumbled forward.

Shane let Steve go and pulled Deakins to his feet. Steve just stood there, not moving. "Steve, we've got to keep going," Shane yelled, motioning toward the hole in the fence. When Steve still didn't move, Shane leaned close. "I know you're weak, Steve, but you need to focus and you need to run with me. We've got to get out of here."

Steve stared back.

"Come on, Steve. We can't stay here. There may be more of them." Shane tried to see if he could see any movement, either from within the compound or from the soldiers outside. Nothing. He looked back at Steve and desperately asked, "Don't you want to see Kayla? And Stephanie?"

"Kayla?" Steve registered the name.

"Yes, Kayla, your wife. And Stephanie, your little girl." Shane tried to prod Steve with his rifle. "Go through the gate with me, and I'll take you to them. They miss you."

That seemed to get through. Steve nodded and began to take some plodding steps toward the fence. Shane lifted Deakins into a fireman's carry and began running beside Steve. Over his shoulder, Deakins grunted in pain, then said, "Y'all's brother-in-law ain't the sharpest nail in the board."

Shane didn't answer. He was using all his strength to bear Deakins' weight. Steve was ahead of them, at the fence. He looked back. "Go ahead, Steve. Right through," Shane yelled with effort. "Just keep going straight ahead."

Then they were through the fence and moving faster. Not fast, by any stretch, but faster. Steve seemed to be gaining strength even as he stumbled forward. Over the earpiece, Shane heard Nowicki.

"Deakins, Donovan, where they hell are you?"

Shane managed to reach his comm button without dropping Deakins or his rifle. "We could use some help back here," he said, gasping. "Deakins was hit and the target's not exactly running a sub-4-minute mile."

"Roger that," came the response.

Under Deakins' weight, Shane was struggling now even to keep up with Steve's slow pace. Then he saw three soldiers come running toward them. One grabbed Steve, who tried to jerk away, but couldn't. The soldier did not hesitate; he lifted Steve over his shoulder and began running back toward the helicopter. The other two soldiers pulled Deakins off of Shane and put him into a seat carry. Shane staggered forward, following them.

A few minutes later, they reached the Blackhawk. Shane shielded his eyes from the sand that the rotors were sending out in a harsh spray. Then he was being pulled inside and landing on his hands and knees. He debated just staying there, but someone pulled him into a seat. Shane looked up to see Captain Nowicki.

Shane shook his head. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're all bloody insane?"

Nowicki laughed and handed Shane a bottle of water. Then he helped the soldiers get Steve and Deakins settled, before yelling at the pilot to take off. Then they were in the air, leaving the desert for good.

Inside, the medical sergeant already had his kit out and was pulling away Deakins' body armor. "Looks like a through-and-through," the medic was telling Nowicki. "Don't think it hit any vitals, but we'll start giving him blood now." The medic quickly went about setting up a transfusion from a soldier with a matching blood type.

Shane let out a deep breath and pressed his head against the wall of the helicopter. The adrenaline that had been keeping him going had completely disappeared. All he wanted to do was take a hot bath and crawl into bed for a month. He began to close his eyes, but kept them open long enough to take a look at Steve.

His friend was in a seat near the back of the chopper, his legs folded tight against his chest, and his eye opened wide. Someone had given Steve a bottle of water, but he had not opened it. Instead, he looked furtively from side to side, almost like he was surrounded and trying to figure out where the attack would come from.

Despite the hot desert night, Shane shivered. He had told himself that rescuing Steve would be the hard part, but watching him now, Shane began to wonder if the hard part was just beginning.


	14. Chapter 13

Kayla crawled into bed after yet another exhausting day. She had spent hours at the lab working feverishly with Carly to find that elusive breakthrough in discovering the cure for the virus. But, as with every other day, this day too had ended in frustration. Kayla knew that each day that passed without a cure was another day closer to Bo's and Peachy's deaths.

After working late, Kayla had picked up Stephanie from her parents. She once again had felt guilty for all the time she was spending away from Stephanie these days. Despite her exhaustion, Kayla had made sure to spend some quality time with Stephanie before putting her to bed. As important as her job was, Kayla was all Stephanie had now and she was determined not to let her daughter down.

Settling back into the soft pillows, Kayla, as she had done almost every time she had a spare minute over the last five days, let her thoughts drift to Shane. She wondered where he was and prayed that he was safe and well. She missed him terribly and still could not get his odd behavior when he left out of her mind. If only he would call and tell her he was okay, maybe she could relax and let go of her fears.

As if on cue, the phone rang. Kayla glanced quickly at the clock, which read 10:15 p.m. Who would be calling that late in the evening? Kayla could think of only one person and she desperately reached for the phone. As she pulled the handset to her face, she could not help but let out an excited "Shane!"

"Uh, no," the voice on the other end responded. "It's Carly Manning."

"Oh," said Kayla, the disappointment evident in her voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect to hear from you tonight. Is there something wrong at the lab?"

"No, nothing is wrong," Carly replied, sounding excited. "In fact, something is very, very right."

"What happened? Did you have a breakthrough on the cure?"

"Not exactly," said Carly. "I just got a call from the CDC and they are sending blood samples by special messenger that apparently have antibodies generated by a cure to the virus. We should be able to isolate those antibodies and reverse engineer the cure. We could have this virus beat within a few days."

"You're kidding! Where did the sample come from?"

"I don't really know," Carly answered. "The CDC wouldn't give specifics; they just said to expect the delivery very early tomorrow morning. Look Kayla, I know you've been working long hours lately, but this is the break we've been waiting for. Can you be at the lab by 5:00 a.m.?"

Kayla sighed, knowing that would mean imposing on her parents yet again. But Carly was right, this was the break they had been working so hard for, and there was no way she was going to miss out on it. "Yeah, I'll be there," Kayla finally said. "Just make sure the coffee is strong and there is plenty of it."

"I'll do my best," Carly laughed. "Oh, and if you happen to know where Shane is, you should call him and tell him the news. You know he'll be excited to find out how close we are."

"I'm sure he will be excited and I'll tell him as soon as I talk to him," Kayla replied, not wanting the reminder that she had no idea where Shane might be right now. "See you in the morning . . . and Carly, thanks for calling."

"No problem, Kayla. Goodnight."

Kayla hung up the phone feeling both relieved and disappointed if that was possible. She was ecstatic that the long hunt for the cure to that horrible virus suddenly seemed within reach. But she was also very disappointed that the call had not been Shane. As she laid back and tried to let sleep take her, she sent out yet another little prayer for Shane to come home safely.


	15. Chapter 14

Shane checked his watch. It was just after 7 a.m. local time here, and he was now into the sixth hour of this debriefing. He had no idea what else the ISA wanted him to say. He had told them everything.

"Could that building have been a lab?" the analyst asked again. There was a black circle growing around his eye, a gift from Captain Nowicki after their helicopter landed at the RAF base in Cyprus. The punch had served as Nowicki's commentary on the accuracy of the intelligence they had received before the raid. Shane now wished he hadn't helped pull Nowicki away before he had thrown some other punches. That might have prevented this interminable debriefing.

"Could it have been a lab?" Shane repeated the question. "Yes, it could have been a lab. It also could have been a school or a briefing room or a library. I already told you this. My answer's not going to change."

"I'm sorry, Captain Donovan, but we have to go over this to make sure we have everything."

"Look," Shane said, losing his patience. "I know you want to cover everything, but there's not a whole lot more I can tell you. We went in, there was more resistance than we expected, we had to change our path to the destination, and we then took out the hostiles inside and found Johnson. I don't know what else you want and why it can't wait until I at least get a shower and out of these bloody fatigues." He meant that literally; his desert camouflage had Sergeant Deakins' blood all over it.

"Can you explain this?" The analyst tossed Shane's body armor on to the table in front of him.

"It's body armor," Shane said. What's to explain?"

The analyst flipped it over, exposing the back. The fabric covering was shredded in several places and large chunks of shrapnel were embedded in the plates. Shane felt the room spin a little, as he realized what could have happened if those pieces had struck a few inches higher.

"So, Captain Donovan, how did this happen?"

Shane had to think. He ran his hands over his face and looked at them. They were crusted with sand and dirt. God, what he would give for a shower. "I don't know. Probably that stuff hit me when the grenade went off. I told you it knocked me down."

"Yes, and you don't exactly remember what happened, right?"

"Yes. I was dazed for a little bit." Shane's recollection of that part of the raid was rather hazy.

"So you might have still been dazed when you found Johnson?"

"No," Shane said. "By that point I was fine." He pressed his hands against the table and pushed himself back. Standing, he said, "I've nothing more to say. Right now, I want to get cleaned up and check on Steve."

"Captain Donovan, please sit back down." Despite the "please," the analyst was clearly giving an order.

"Why? Why do you need to keep me here asking the same questions over and over? It's like you're trying to keep me from-" He stopped. "That's it, isn't it? You don't need any more answers. You're just keeping me here for some reason." Shane thought some more and looked closely at the analyst. There was definitely more going on. "It's the virus, isn't it? Do you think I somehow got infected?"

"Of course not," came a familiar voice from behind him. Shane spun around to see Chief Tarrington in the doorway.

"Tarrington, what in blazes are you doing here?" Now Shane was truly baffled. Why would the ISA Chief travel halfway around the world for a debriefing on a mission that the ISA wouldn't even sanction? Tarrington did not respond. "Tell me," Shane demanded. "Tell me why I'm being locked up in here answering the same pointless questions over and over."

"I am sorry about that, Shane," Tarrington said. "We had to keep you here while we examined Johnson and performed some tests."

"Tests? What kind of tests?"

Tarrington motioned to the chair. "Please sit down, Shane."

"I'd rather stand." Shane crossed his arms defiantly.

"Very well." Tarrington walked over to the analyst and whispered something to him. The man left, leaving Shane and his superior alone. "I believe I mentioned that we suspected Johnson might have been injected with the virus."

Shane remembered. "So you tested him for it?"

"Yes," Tarrington said. "But the tests showed something else."

"What?" Shane's eyes narrowed.

"Antibodies, Shane. Antibodies that destroy the virus. They were in Johnson's blood. We've long suspected Alamain had an antidote, but this proves it."

Shane understood. Alamain's men had tested not just the virus, but the antidote on Steve. "So the antidote was in the compound?" he asked.

Tarrington shook his head. "No. Our intelligence says that the virus was tested elsewhere."

"And I'm supposed to believe your intelligence? Your intelligence said that compound had a maximum of 12 armed guards."

"I'm aware of that," Tarrington said, almost apologetically. "I also understand that the Captain of the ODA expressed similar dissatisfaction. But on this, we feel confident. We suspect Johnson was tested for the virus months ago, most likely, before the first ISA agents got sick, and then sent to Egypt. Maybe so they could test for something different."

"Like what?"

"We don't know." Tarrington shrugged. "We're curious about the central building in the compound. The hostiles destroyed it before Captain Nowicki's team could reach it. We don't know what was there, but it was important enough to keep from us. From his description, it sounds like there were chemicals stored there."

"That was the smoke," Shane said. He remembered how it had burned his throat. That was consistent with a chemical fire.

"Yes, it's a shame we didn't learn more," Tarrington said. "Regardless of that, you should be proud. You've done the ISA a great service by bringing us the key to the cure. If Johnson's antibodies provide the clues we expect, we should have a treatment available very soon. We just needed to extract sufficient blood from him for testing."

"So why keep me here this entire time?"

"As anticipated, Johnson was not a willing subject. He fought the technicians who tried to take the blood and had to be subdued."

Shane thought his hearing might be off, but he took a moment to repeat in his head what Tarrington had just said. No, his hearing was perfectly fine. "Have you no decency?" Shane made no effort to keep his voice down. "The man's been locked up and used as a guinea pig for who knows how long and, now that he's free, you do the same thing? Where the hell is he?" Shane crossed to the door and tried to open it, but it was locked. Turning back into the room, he glared at his boss. "Tarrington, let me out of here."

"That, Shane, is why we've kept you here. We feared that your personal concern for Johnson might override your professional judgment - that you might object."

"Object? You're using that man as a bloody lab rat against his will." Shane kicked the wall in anger. "Of course, I'm going to object. Johnson's barely lucid. He probably thinks our people are just doing what Alamain's did."

"Yes, that is what we suspect he thought." Tarrington's voice displayed no emotion. "But it couldn't wait. The situation with the virus is too critical. Johnson's blood is already on its way to Salem so Dr. Manning can analyze it."

"And Steve?"

"He's in the base hospital. We had to sedate him, but he will be no worse for the experience when he wakes."

That hardly caused Shane's anger to abate. "Except he won't trust anyone at the hospital," Shane said, as he began to pace. He was not just angry at Tarrington; he was angry at himself. He should have realized the ISA did not just bring the photo to him because he was friends with Steve. "So this whole deal about this being an 'unsanctioned' mission was a fraud? This job actually had a tactical purpose?"

"No," Tarrington said. "It had a benefit, Shane. An unanticipated benefit. But that doesn't change anything. The mission is still unofficial. It was entirely your choice. Even if we suspected Johnson might have been tested for the antidote, we could not risk so many men just on a mere suspicion."

"But you did because I wanted to rescue one man?" Shane was confused.

Tarrington nodded. "We felt we owed it to you after all of your years of service. But bear in mind that everything I said before remains true. Nobody can know about this mission. We've made that quite clear to Captain Nowicki and his men, and we expect you to make sure Johnson understands that as well."

Shane knew there was little point arguing further. He was exhausted and felt dirty - and not just because of the dirt and blood on his clothing. He shook his head in disgust. "Can I at least go now?"

"There's no further reason to keep you here." Tarrington smiled. "I'm sure you'll want to see Mr. Johnson when he wakes."

Shane reached for the door and, this time, the handle turned. As he neared the exit, he saw a pay phone on the wall. He stopped and picked up the receiver. He should call Kayla. She deserved to know what was going on.

The thought made his chest constrict. He tried to convince himself that he was just overtired, that the stress of the night before and the debriefing was getting to him. But Shane knew he was kidding himself. Steve was back; Shane couldn't compete with that.

Maybe he should wait. Just until he knew more about Steve's condition. Just until he had spoken with the doctors. Kayla was a nurse, after all; she would want details. Shane set the receiver back on the phone. Yes, he would wait, just a little while. He would tell her soon enough.


	16. Chapter 15

Lawrence Alamain entered the prison visitor's room and took a seat across the plastic divider from his attorney. Maurice Marchand cost $500 an hour, so Lawrence expected something important for Marchand to call this meeting.

"I assume you have some news for me," Lawrence asked.

Marchand kept his voice low. "We've had a significant setback. The facility in Egypt was attacked and destroyed."

Lawrence tried to remain impassive as he thought He did not want the guards to grow curious and start listening. His meetings with Marchand were supposed to be confidential, but Lawrence could not be sure that nobody was recording his conversation. He already placed too much faith in this country's purported laws promising confidentiality, and look what it had gotten him. A small prison cell, because Shane Donovan had used an illegally recorded conversation to force Lawrence to plead guilty to Jennifer Horton's ridiculous rape charges. Lawrence had learned a hard lesson and would be very circumspect in anything he said, even in a supposedly "confidential" conversation. "Tell me more," he finally said. "But choose your words wisely."

Marchand nodded. "We don't know much. Only two of our men got out of the compound alive."

Lawrence digested that news. That meant that several of the scientists must be dead. "Who attacked them?"

"We don't know for sure. They were well armed and left in helicopters. One of the men heard English and thought they were Americans."

"Regular soldiers or mercenaries?" Lawrence asked.

"He couldn't tell."

Lawrence took a deep breath. That compound was secret. He had paid the Egyptian authorities a lot of money to ignore that project, and there was no reason for anyone to have discovered it. He knew the ISA was doing everything it could to find clues about the origins of the virus, but that compound had never been used to test or produce the virus. "Who would have wanted that research?" he asked. "Who would even have known about that research? I thought you personally made sure that every person there checked out."

"I did," Marchand insisted. After a moment, he added, "There is some good news."

"There is? What could possibly be 'good' about this? That research is critical to my plans."

Marchand took a deep breath. "The good news is that the main building was destroyed before they could get anything."

"So all the research is destroyed?" Lawrence asked. "And you're telling me it's good news?"

"At least, nobody else has it - and a lot of the research had already been sent to our facility in Venezuela, so it's not like they are starting over from scratch."

That was probably true, but something still did not sit right with Lawrence. "Why would they go after that facility?" he wondered aloud. Then a thought hit him. "Maurice, was that where a certain local 'friend' of ours was staying?"

Marchand glanced around quickly. "Yes." He hesitated. "We don't know what happened to him."

"We don't? Didn't the survivors check?"

"Yes, but they found no sign of him," Marchand explained. "The building he was in was all shot up; only it and the central operations building were attacked."

"I see." Lawrence was putting two and two together. "And you don't think that is a big clue as to what they were looking for?"

"We don't know, Mr. Alamain," Marchand said. "It's possible John- I mean, our friend - escaped into the desert."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" He sat back and thought a little. "Find out where he is," Lawrence ordered. "Also, just in case our friend knows anything, I want you to close every facility he's been at. Move the research elsewhere."

"But that will cost a fortune," Marchand said. "And do you have any idea how much time that will take?"

"Time is not a luxury you have, Maurice. We're moving up the timeframe for the project." Lawrence paused as he pictured a calendar. "Tell everyone that I expect everything to be operational by December."

"December?" Marchand gulped. "That's only five months away. Our people said they won't even be able to begin testing until next year."

Lawrence started intently at his attorney. "Then tell them to work faster. And you, Maurice, have another task. You had better make certain I get the earliest possible parole date. When this project goes operational, I want to ensure I have a front-row seat."


	17. Chapter 16

Shane ran into Captain Nowicki as he neared the base hospital. "They finally let you out?" Nowicki asked.

"Yeah." Shane rubbed his eyes. The sun was barely up over the Mediterranean, but after so many hours inside and in his exhausted state, it was uncomfortably bright.

Nowicki laughed. "You know you don't have to keep wearing those cammies. You're a civilian again." It took Shane a second to realize that Nowicki was referring to his clothes. Shane still had not changed. "Besides, you look like hell," Nowicki added.

Shane gave a sarcastic smile. "Thanks, Captain. I needed someone to give me beauty tips this morning. I'm just going to check on Steve before I get cleaned up." Pointing at the hospital, he asked, "Do you have any idea where he is?"

"You can't miss him. He's in the main treatment area, right next to Deakins."

Shane silently kicked himself for being so callous. "I'm sorry, I've been so preoccupied with that debriefing, I didn't even ask how Deakins is."

"He'll be fine, thanks to you." Nowicki grinned. "He's already driving the nurses crazy trying to figure out what he's saying. By the way, he said you handled yourself real well out there. Says you should be credited with five confirmed kills. That's not bad for a 'forward observer.'"

"Thanks. . . ." Shane said uneasily, feeling a little queasy. He was not used to treating death so lightly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So how did the rest of your guys make out?"

"Pretty well. Besides Deakins, three wounded. Nothing that will keep them out for more than a few weeks. Martinez nearly had his arm torn off, but he's insisting he'll be fine for drills on Friday." Nowicki grinned again. "Between you and me, I think he's right."

"Captain, you just confirmed that all of you are bloody insane."

"Absolutely certifiable." Nowicki motioned toward the hospital. "Now go check on your man in there. Deakins said he had a pretty trugh night. And after you've cleaned up, gotten some rest, and changed out of those dirty rags, come on over to the Officer's Club and I'll buy you a drink." Nowicki rolled his eyes. "Jeez, never thought I'd say that to a spook. Be there at twenty-hundred."

Shaking his head, Shane took his leave and headed into the hospital. He was Nowicki was right about one thing; it wasn't hard to find Steve. There were only ten patients in the barrack. Shane passed a couple of men that he recognized from the pre-mission briefings, and then spotted Deakins and, next to him, sleeping, Steve.

"Hey there, Spooky," Deakins called out as Shane approached. "I'm still tryin' to figger how a scrawny runt like y'all carried me outta that place."

Shane pulled up a chair between the two beds. "Trust me, Deakins, I suspect my back will be asking the same thing tomorrow."

Deakins held out his hand for Shane to shake, then said, "Ya mighta be one strange fella, but y'all's okay in my book. I owe you."

Shane shook the man's hand. "No, I owe you. You took out most of those guys in that building." Then he took a seat, facing Steve.

_Damn, he looks like hell_, Shane thought. Someone had cleaned Steve up a bit and shaved off the beard, but now in real light and not night vision, Shane could see why Steve had barely been able to walk. Alamain's people must have nearly starved him; Steve was so thin. His skin was a pasty white and his visible eye was accentuated by dark circles. Steve had a blanket covering his legs and upper body up to his chest, so Shane could not tell what other damage he had suffered.

"Tha's another strange dude," Deakins said. "When the docs came, he gone went nutso."

"Yeah, I heard." Shane reached over and pulled back the blanket slightly, so he could see the restraint around Steve's right wrist. _Screw them_, Shane thought, as he reached over to remove it. Next to him Steve stirred and moaned, then began to thrash. As Shane gripped the restraint, Steve jerked his arm back, pulling the restraint out of Shane's hand.

Then Steve began to scream.


	18. Chapter 17

The fog in his mind lifted. There were men in the room. He could not see them, but he could feel them. Just like he could feel the knot from the blindfold digging into the back of his head. Just like he could feel the gag in his mouth. Just like he could feel the cold, metal edges of the restraints cutting into his wrists.

Blindfolded, gagged, and restrained - stripped of sight, speech, and movement - Steve could still feel.

He felt each needle pierce his skin as they did their experiment.

He felt the stabbing pain of each broken rib as they pushed and prodded him.

He felt the fever that burned through his body; another infection they gave him.

Then he could see. The blindfold gone. The gag, too. The men were there; he could see them. But they were faceless, inhuman. Who were they? What did they want from him?

A guard entered. Steve knew him. He had broken Steve's ribs earlier for not moving fast enough. He had no face, but Steve knew him.

The guard was not alone. He dragged a prisoner - small, face covered, crying. Steve knew those cries. They pierced his heart.

"Kayla?"

No answer.

"Kayla!" Steve screamed. "Dammit, show me her face, you son of a bitch."

The guard laughed, pushed her forward, and pulled the hood off.

It was her. The golden hair that softly brushed his chest when he held her in his arms at night. The blue eyes that sparkled with light and love and that he swore could see inside his soul.

Kayla.

His Kayla.

She had found him.

Cold laughter from a faceless man silenced that joyful thought.

The blindfold returned. The knot dug into the back of his head and he could not see. He still felt her, and he cried out for her, but the gag was back too.

But he felt her. And he heard her. Screaming from across the room, too far to reach even as he strained against the binds that held him down. He had to get to her. He had to save her.

Steve ripped the blindfold off and stripped the gag away, but his hands were still bound. He could see her now. Her eyes - the eyes that gave him love and life - filled with pain

He strained against the restraints, but they wouldn't release. No matter how hard he tried, he could not move. Her screams and the cold laughter mixed, echoing around the room.

Then she was gone. The cries stopped. The laughter - the cold, empty laughter - continued.

Steve strained once more against the restraints. His arms seemed ready to pull free of their sockets. But that caused him no pain; the pain was already there as he screamed once more. Just one word.

"KAYLA!"


	19. Chapter 18

"KAYLA!"

Steve was thrashing around so much and straining so hard against the padded cuffs around his wrists that Shane feared he would hurt himself. Shane jumped up and pressed his hands on Steve's shoulders, trying to keep him still.

"Tha's one doozy o' a nightmare," Deakins said. "Hope we don' have those ev'ry night."

"That's the least of my worries right now," Shane answered through gritted teeth. Even as weak as Steve was, Shane was having difficulty keeping him from pulling too hard on the restraints and hurting himself.

"Steve, it's just a nightmare," Shane said. "Steve! Calm down. It's just a nightmare."

Two orderlies rushed over and muscled Shane out of the way. One put all of his weight across Steve, pinning him to the bed. The other was carrying a padded strap that he hooked on one side of the bed and tossed over Steve's chest. A hook dangled off the bed, next to Shane. The orderly yelled at Shane, "Lock it down.

Shane looked back at Steve and saw that his eye was open, but confused and uncomprehending. That look turned to anger and he thrashed around more violently, yelling, "Get the hell off of me."

"Lock it down," the orderly called again to Shane. "The hook, damn it."

Steve was not pulling as hard against the restraints before, and something told Shane that if he helped tie Steve down, that would end of any chance he could help the man.

"Let him go," Shane ordered. He grabbed the padded strap and tossed it to the other side of the bed, then pulled the orderly off Steve and shoved him aside. To Steve, he said, "Calm down. Nobody's going to hurt you."

Steve's eye seemed to focus a little and he blinked a couple of times. He did not say anything, but stopped most of his struggling. Shane noticed, however, that Steve kept flexing his hands into fists and seemed to be testing the wrist restraints.

"Okay, Steve. That's better." Shane kept watching Steve's hands; he had no idea what to do next. This was not something he had dealt with before.

"Don . . . Donovan?" Shane turned to look at Steve's face. He was staring up at him, finally appearing to recognize his surroundings.

"Yes, it's me, Steve." He answered the question he expected Steve to ask next. "You're in a hospital in Cyprus. Do you remember last night? Do you remember us finding you?"

Steve's eye closed and, for a moment, Shane thought he had fallen back asleep. Then it opened. "Kayla . . . Said you'd take . . . take me to Kayla."

Shane had said a lot of things the night before, and he searched his brain trying to remember what Steve was talking about. Then he remembered. Deakins was down and he was trying to get Steve to move on his own. "Yes, Steve, I said that. We just need to make sure you're okay first. Then we're going to take you to Kayla." He hoped that was sufficient.

It appeared to be, because Steve did not press the issue. He tried to raise his right arm, but it was stopped by the restraint. Steve looked down, and his eye widened, as if he was seeing it for the first time, then pulled his arm quickly back and up. Then he jerked his head to the left side and realized that hand also was restrained.

"Steve, try to calm down," Shane said. "They're for your protection, so you don't hurt yourself." The orderly on Shane's side of the bed tried to push past him, but Shane blocked his path. "Steve, you need to calm down."

Steve stopped struggling and looked up. In a soft voice, he said, "Get me out of these. Now." Shane looked down and saw a look he had never seen on Steve's face before. He was not quite pleading, but it was as close as he probably had ever come.

Shane closed his eyes. The restraints were there for a reason; he had just seen how much of a danger Steve could be to himself. But Shane also knew Steve. "Blast it," he said, then turned to the orderlies. "Help me untie him."

"We can't," one of them said. "The docs said he needs to be restrained."

"This is my man," Shane barked. If there was anything he could take from his mission being unofficial, it was that. "So get these bloody things off him."

"I'd done listen to Spooky over there." Deakins added some commentary from his bed. "He don' look like much, but he's a hella lot tougher than he looks."

The orderlies still hesitated, so Shane grabbed the restraint around Steve's right arm and began trying to figure out how to remove it. Then he froze. "What the bloody hell?"

Beneath the padded hospital restraint, Steve's wrists were worn raw. The wound was deep, caused by something that had dug into his wrists, not the soft restraint that Shane held. Around that, Shane could see white scars that seemed to have similar shapes.

Plainly, Steve had been restrained before, and probably not for his own protection. No wonder he had panicked when he found himself tied up in the hospital.

Shane grabbed at the restraint and ripped it off, not caring if the thing broke. He yelled at the orderly on the side. "Get that damned thing off him now!" This time, the orderly complied, and he removed the cuff. Once it was off, Shane looked at both orderlies. "Tell the doctors that if I ever see this man tied down again, I'll have their bloody heads."


	20. Chapter 19

With the restraints removed and the orderlies gone, Steve finally felt like he could breath again. He pulled his arms to his chest and looked up at Shane. "Thanks, dude. I owe you one. More than one."

Shane gave a small smile. "I don't think anyone has called me 'dude' in quite a long while. I'm sorry about the restraints. I'll make sure they aren't used again."

Steve's breath quickened as he felt the restraints again. "How about keeping those torturers you call doctors away from me as well?" Steve said, his voice becoming harsh and anger flashing in his eye. "I may not remember everything about last night, but I swore you said you were there to take me home, not turn me over to another set of butchers."

Guilt washed across Shane's face. "I'm sorry for that, too. I had no idea that was happening until just before I arrived here to see you."

Steve took a deep breath to calm himself. He knew it wasn't Shane's fault. The man had rescued him from that torture chamber. "I know. I'm sorry. I've just had enough needles stuck in me to last a lifetime." _Or two or three._ "So can I get the hell out of here now?"

Steve watched a shadow pass across Shane's face, but couldn't read his expression. "Unfortunately, not yet, Steve. We must make sure you're strong enough to travel and that it's safe for you to go back to Salem. Lawrence Alamain may be in jail, but he's got a large organization and something tells me he is not going to be happy when he receives news of your escape."

"Who's this Lawrence Alamain dude and what does he have to do with me?" Steve asked, suddenly confused. "Wait a minute. Is that the guy who did all this to me?"

"Yes, we believe so. Look, I know you have a lot of questions and I promise to fill you in on everything, but now is probably not the best time. You need to rest and recover. Everything else can wait."

"Everything else?" Steve asked. "Does that mean Kayla, too? Does she even know that I'm alive? They told me over and over that my family thought I was dead and nobody would come looking for me. Is that true?"

"Yes, that's true," Shane replied, trying to keep his voice even. "You flatlined in the hospital and attempts to revive you were not successful - or so we were told."

"So Kayla and Stephanie think I've been dead for all these . . . how long have I been gone anyway?"

"About nine months."

Steve was silent as the reality washed over him. His wife and daughter believed he had been dead for nine months. His daughter would be walking and maybe even talking by now, but would have no memory of her Papa. And Kayla, his Sweetness, what had she been through since his supposed death?

"You never answered my question, Shane? Is Kayla coming here? Does she even know I'm alive?" Steve's agitation was growing again.

Shane was silent for a moment. Then he simply said, "Kayla doesn't know yet."

"She doesn't know! What the hell are playing at, Donovan? Or is there something you aren't telling me? Is Kayla okay?" Steve couldn't voice his inner most fears. _Had she forgotten him? Had she moved on?_

"She's fine, Steve," Shane said in a reassuring voice. "She and Stephanie are both fine. Unfortunately, there are bigger issues at play here and, until we get some questions resolved, it's too dangerous for them to know that you're alive."

"Bigger issues? Questions resolved? Sounds like more big words from the big ISA agent," Steve said in disgust.

"I know you don't like it, Steve, but I can't just call her and tell her that you're alive. That information could put her in immediate danger. Once we have a grasp on your medical condition, I will call her and arrange for her to come here, or to any other secure location you may be transferred to. But for now, you just bloody well have to be patient."

"I spent nine months locked in one cage after another and that's when they weren't using me as a guinea pig and now you want me to be patient?," Steve spat. "Would you be so patient, in my place, _Captain_ Donovan?"

"Probably not," Shane admitted with a sigh. He stood up, saying, "Get some rest and try to be nice to your next door neighbor. He's one of the men who helped get you out of that compound. I'll be back later, and I'll try to have more information for you." Shane turned to leave.

"Wait," Steve called. Shane stopped and looked back at Steve, who said, "Thanks again for coming and getting me, man. I don't know how I can ever repay you for that."

Shane gave a quick smile and simply replied, "You don't have to. That's what family's for."

As Shane left, questions lingered in Steve's mind. Who was that Lawrence Alamain dude? The name meant nothing to him. Were Jo, Jack, and Adrienne okay? How did Shane and the ISA find him? Hundreds of questions. But as Steve's exhaustion finally overtook him, only one question remained - _does she still love me_?


	21. Chapter 20

The shower was bliss. Shane rested his forehead against the tiled wall and let the hot water cascade over his exhausted body. How could something as simple as a shower feel like the difference between civilization and barbarism?

Eventually, he had to get out, because the water began running cold. Shane dried off, wrapped the towel around himself, and collapsed on top of the bed. He expected to fall asleep immediately, but as soon as his head hit the pillow,the "on" switch in his brain flipped on and, no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't turn off.

What was he going to do now? That tiny hope that the man in the picture was not Steve had flickered and died. Shane had to accept it.

He also had to be happy for Kayla. She deserved a fairytale ending - happily ever after and all that rot. How many times had he said he wanted her to be happy? Wasn't that the core of their relationship, that they would try to grab some happiness despite the pain that still cut deep, the ache that would never fully go away. Getting back Steve would take away her pain.

_And your pain?_ he asked himself. His pain didn't matter. Shane could cope with pain. He knew how to shut it away, deep inside, so it died, just like that tiny bit of hope. He had done it before. When he thought Emma had died in that car bombing, he had shut the pain away, buried himself in work, and soldiered on. When Kim walked out on him, the pain had been even worse, but he had still survived. He could wall off the pain and, just as he had promised himself after Kim left, he would never open himself up to that kind of emotion ever again. He would never let down his defenses again, not even to find a little happiness like he did with Kayla.

That is what he would do. He would focus on work, he would keep himself occupied and, most importantly, he would never let anyone see the pain.

He could do that. Shane would make it easy for Kayla. She would only see what he wanted her to see - that he was happy for her. He would tell her that he was happy he could bring back her true love. Maybe he could convince himself that he believed it.

"Blast it," he muttered aloud. _Why the hell did doing the right thing have to hurt so bloody much?_

It didn't matter. He never had any real choice about taking on the mission. If it hurt, it hurt. That was just the way things were.

He felt a sudden twinge of guilt. He was being callous. How could Shane really think about pain and hurt given what Steve had gone through for so many months? It wasn't just Kayla who deserved happiness; Steve did too.

Unfortunately, that thought did not make the pain go away.

Shane sat up, knowing it was pointless to try to sleep with the way his mind was racing. Was there such a thing as being too exhausted to sleep?

He thought back over what he told Steve and why he had not called Kayla. It was too dangerous; they didn't know Steve's condition; they had to protect Kayla. All of those were valid reasons, but he had nonetheless had hesitated every time he had passed a pay phone. Knowing about Steve probably would put her in no danger if he told her not to say anything. Shane could fill her in about Steve's condition in another call.

In fact, maybe it would be easier to tell her over the phone. That way he wouldn't have to see her reaction; he would not have to watch as all that pain disappeared and the true happiness that Shane couldn't give her returned.

Shane threw on some clothes and headed back outside. There was a pay phone down the hall, so he walked over to it and waited for one of the airmen to finish a call.

What time was it in Salem? Shane did some math and realized it was 1 a.m., still the middle of the night there. He couldn't call Kayla now. A call would wake Stephanie, and he knew how difficult it was to get her to go back to sleep.

Shane picked up the phone, punched in his ISA authorization code, and dialed. The phone was answered on the fourth ring.

"Yeah," said a sleepy voice.

"Roman, it's Shane. Sorry to wake you."

He could hear the rustling of sheets on the other end and Roman say, "It's Shane."

"I'm sorry, but if this is a bad time. . . ." Shane said, apologetically. He should have figured Roman might not be alone.

"Partner, it's 1 a.m. That's never a good time." The line went silent for a long moment, before Roman spoke again. "Isabella's back asleep, so we can talk. I'll be careful what I say though, just in case."

"Thanks." Shane took a deep breath and let it out. "It's him."

"Whoa," Roman said. "He okay?"

"Weak and he's lost a lot of weight. I don't know what else. I haven't spoken with his doctors yet. We think he was used as a guinea pig for some of Alamain's experiments."

"You mean Alamain took Ste- I mean, him?"

Even though Roman could not see him, Shane nodded. "That's what our intel says."

"But why him? Alamain's bone to pick was with Bo and Carly."

Roman had a point, and Shane had been wondering about that as well. What was it about Steve that caused Lawrence to fake his death? Lawrence was vindictive; he sought revenge for past wrongs. That was why he targeted Bo. That was probably why he brought Kim back to Salem - to interfere with Shane's life after the events in Alamainia. So why Steve? "I don't have a good answer for you," Shane finally said.

"What about Kay?" Roman asked. "Did you call her?"

Shane expected that question. "Not yet."

"Come on, partner, you can't leave her in the dark."

"I know, I know." Shane looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "Bloody hell, Roman, how am I supposed to tell her? I can't just call her up and say, 'Kayla, it's Shane. Your husband's come back from the dead.' And then what? I tell her that I don't know when she can see him?"

Another silence. "This is hard on you, isn't it?"

"What do you think?" Shane asked, his voice rising. "Of course, it's bloody hard."

"You can't keep her in the dark forever, Shane," Roman said. He sounded sympathetic. "You're gonna have to tell her sometime."

"Of course I will. I just don't think it should be by phone." Shane knew that Roman was going to offer to break the news, but he cut that idea off immediately. "And don't you go telling her. It's too early. She'd want to see Steve immediately, and I don't yet know if that's safe for either of them. Besides, you're not supposed to have any knowledge of this operation. If it gets out that I told you, it's my head on the chopping block."

Shane could not tell if Roman was convinced, but he did say, "Fine, but don't put it off too long. It's not gonna get any easier for you."

_Tell_ _me something I don't know_, Shane thought. "I will soon. Just don't say a word to anyone."

"I got it," Roman said. "So now tell me the real reason you called. I doubt you just wanted to have a heart-to-heart with your best friend at overseas long-distance rates."

Shane chuckled. "This is on the ISA's dime. The mission may have been unsanctioned, but I'm not paying the costs. Do you know what fuel for a Blackhawk helicopter must cost?"

"A Blackhawk? That must have been some job, partner. Oh right, it's a war story you can't tell. But seriously, what do you need?"

"Information, Roman. I need to know everyone that Lawrence Alamain has spoken with since he was incarcerated, and I need whatever the Salem PD and FBI have on Alamain's operations." Shane's mind started to turn toward the operation. "I need to know if it's safe to bring Steve back to Salem. There's no bloody point in bringing him home only for Lawrence to have someone take him out."

"I can do that," Roman answered. "But won't Alamain just track you down?"

Shane smiled. This was work. This was something he could focus on. "I don't think that would be possible. Lawrence shouldn't have a clue who attacked his compound, and he may not even know that Steve wasn't a casualty. That's a tactical advantage that I intend to keep for as long as possible during this operation."

"Shane, it's not an operation. It's. . . ." Roman's voice dropped to a whisper so soft, Shane could barely hear it. "Steve and Kayla."

"I know that," Shane said, even as he felt some of the pain lance through him. "Trust me when I say I have every intention to make this easy on Kay. So just get those Alamain files to the ISA field office, okay?"

Shane hung up the phone. He could start by reviewing the ISA files on Lawrence's recent activities. That would take hours. By the time he finished those, some of the Salem files would probably begin arriving by fax.

He smiled slightly. There was always work. Work would get Shane through this.


	22. Chapter 21

Kayla walked into Wings and looked around for Roman and Isabella. She had been pleasantly surprised when he had called and asked her to join them for lunch. Her stomach was growling and she was definitely looking forward to some food.

That only made sense given that she had arrived at the lab seven hours earlier. She and Carly had worked to have everything ready for when the samples arrived. The messenger arrived promptly at 5:30 a.m. and it had been a nonstop flurry of activity since. Yet her exhaustion and hunger was well worth it. Carly was confident she could have a cure for the virus in a matter of days. Relief washed over Kayla at the thought. Bo and Peachy were going to be okay. She still wondered how the CDC had found somebody with the antibodies to fight the virus, but she supposed it didn't really matter. What mattered was that the cure was about to be found.

Dave's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hello, Kayla. Do you need a table for lunch?"

"Actually, I'm meeting Roman and Isabella," Kayla said with a smile. "Oh, there they are."

She thanked Dave and walked over to the table. They exchanged hellos and Roman got up and gave her a kiss on the cheek and held her chair as she sat down.

"You look exhausted, Sis," Roman said.

"Gee, thanks, Roman. That's what every woman wants to hear."

Roman looked chagrined. "Sorry. I'm just worried about my baby sister."

"I'll forgive you only because I know it's true. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, I'm afraid."

"You must have gotten a late-night phone call too," Isabella said with a smile. "I guess Shane forgot about time-zone differences."

Kayla's smile froze on her face. "Shane called you last night?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

Isabella looked quickly at Roman, then back at Kayla. "Uh, yeah he called the house. You mean he didn't call you?"

"No, he didn't call me. Is he okay?" Kayla asked with a frown of concern on her face.

"He's fine," Roman said. In a soothing voice, he added, "I'm sure he just didn't call because it was so late and didn't want to wake you or Stephanie."

"Shane should know that I wouldn't care what time it was; I just want to know that he's safe and that he's not hurt or anything." Kayla couldn't stop the hurt and confusion from creeping into her voice. _Why would he call Roman and not call me_?

Roman and Isabella shared an uncomfortable look. "Don't get upset, Sis. I'm sure he'll contact you soon."

"I'm not upset, I'm . . ." _Worried, hurt, confused_. _Okay I'm upset_,Kayla thought to herself. "What did he say, Roman?"

Roman seemed caught off guard for a moment, but then replied, "Just that he was okay and that his mission was successful. He really couldn't talk long."

Kayla had a feeling that Roman was keeping something from her, but she knew from experience that if he was, she would not find out until he was ready to tell her. She sighed softly, then asked, "Did he at least mention when he was going to be home?"

Roman gave her a sympathetic look and said, "No. Like I said, he couldn't really talk long. I really am sure he'll be calling soon and he'll be able to tell you the whole story himself."

Just then the waitress arrived to take their lunch orders. Kayla let the subject drop and focused on her lunch. Yet, throughout the meal, one thought kept running through her mind. Why had Shane called Roman and not her? Something strange was going on with Shane; she'd known it when he came to the lab to say goodbye. And if Roman was right and the mission was over, then she could no longer delude herself into thinking that Shane's strange behavior was just about his mission. No, it was about something more and she could not help but feel that his behavior was about his feelings for her.


	23. Chapter 22

Some of the Royal Air Force officers eyed Shane suspiciously as he entered the Officer's Club, but he ignored them as he made his way over to the table where Nowicki and his second-in-command, Lieutenant Jennings, were sitting.

"Glad you could join us, Donovan," Nowicki said, as he called out for the bartender to send over a scotch. "It helps to see a friendly face - and you at least speak the language."

Shane took a seat. Akrotiri, the Cyprus base they had used for the operation, was a British RAF base, and he could understand why the two Americans might feel uncomfortable. Shane offered some advice. "For starters, we Brits don't call it 'scotch.' It's just 'whiskey.' The barkeep will know you don't mean that swill you Yanks drink."

Nowicki took no offense, but just laughed. Obviously, he had a pretty good head start on the drinking. The lieutenant stood up from the table. "Now that you won't be drinking alone, Captain, I'm gonna hit the rack. 07:00 is it?" When Nowick nodded, the lieutenant left.

"What's at 07:00?" Shane asked.

Nowicki ran his index finger along the rim of his shot glass. "Our flight out of here."

"Heading home?"

Nowicki shook his head. "Saudi Arabia. Looks like we'll be there for at least a month or two. Orders just came in a few hours ago."

Shane did not ask why. Even if he asked, Nowicki probably could not tell him. The orders would be confidential. Shane's drink arrived and he held the glass aloft. "A toast then. To Fifth Special Forces. May it never happen, but if I ever do have to go into a firefight again, there's no group of men I'd rather do it with."

Nowicki picked up his glass and clinked it against Shane's. "To the Fifth. And to 'Spooky' for being the first CIA or ISA or whatever-you-call-it guy that I didn't want to leave behind in the desert."

Shane had to laugh at that. "I'm stuck with that nickname, aren't I?"

"Yep. When I saw Deakins this afternoon, all he could talk about was how 'Spooky' saved his life, how he'd never have made it out of there if not for 'Spooky.' With the way Deakins talks, probably half the army will know it within six months."

Shane shook his head. "Just don't let anyone at ISA headquarters hear it. I'll never hear the blasted end of it."

Nowicki laughed. "So what about you, Donovan? When do you get out of here?"

Shane took a sip from his glass and debated the answer. "Don't really know yet. Depends on when Steve's ready to be moved." And on whether it was safe to take him back to Salem. Shane had spent most of the day reviewing files on Alamain, and had come away convinced that the man was still running his organization from prison.

Steve had always been able to take care of himself, so Shane would not have hesitated to return to Salem under normal circumstances. But these circumstances were hardly normal, were they? Steve was too weak physically and he clearly needed some help mentally. Shane pictured the wounds on Steve's wrists and wondered what other abuse his friend had suffered.

To Shane's surprise, another round of drinks arrived. He had not even noticed Nowicki order them. They were downed quickly as the two men exchanged war stories. Nowicki talked about the Gulf War. His team had infiltrated Iraq and provided intelligence about targets in and around Baghdad. He laughed as he finished what must have been the fourth or fifth round since Shane's arrival. "We lit that city up like a birthday cake." Shane then described the time his boat capsized in the Baltic Sea and how he and his mate in the Scandinavian Security Police floated in the water and fended off sharks for two days. After that, talk turned back to the raid the night before, and the number of empty glasses on the table increased.

"So Deakins told me you're related to Johnson," Nowicki said. "Why didn't you mention that before?"

Shane finished the drink in front of him, then picked up another. He wasn't sure where that one had come from, but was definitely beginning to feel the effect on the alcohol. "We're not related anymore," he said, tightly, just before he drained the whiskey in a single gulp.

Nowicki got the message. "Guess being in the ISA isn't much better on marriages than Special Forces. You're always gone, the little lady's always worried, and all that."

_And all that_. "Yeah, maybe." Shane blinked a few times. Nowicki seemed to be a little fuzzy. "It's a little more complicated than that. See . . . little over a year ago, Kim thought I was KIA. I'd actually lost my memory. Didn't even know my own name."

Nowicki stared at him. "I think I need another drink before you tell me this one." He ordered another round, this time doubles. The drinks came quickly. "So what happened?"

"I didn't find out who I was for a couple of months. When I did. . . . I found out my name, and where I lived." Shane probably needed another drink for this too, so he drank about half the new glass of whiskey. "So I went home . . . and she's in bed with another man."

"Damn."

Shane nodded. _Damn was right_. "You know . . . I could've handled that, probably. Can't really blame her for moving on, could I? I was _dead_ for all she bloody well knew. But . . . ." He finished that drink. How many had that been? He was losing count.

"You telling me there's more?"

"More? Yeah . . . there's more." _There's a lot more_, Shane thought, blinking a few times so his eyes would refocus.

"Hold on." Nowicki signaled to the barkeep and they waited for the next round to arrive.

Shane took another stiff drink before he talked again. "She got pregnant. Said the baby was mine, but it was a lie . . . all a lie . . ."

"That sucks, man." Nowicki shook his head.

Shane liked this man. He was like Roman, straight and to the point. _Yeah, it sucked_, Shane thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, because the room seemed to be spinning. It seemed a little better when he reopened his eyes. "You want to know the most. . . ." What was the word he wanted? Shane tried to focus. It would come to him. What was it? Oh, yeah. There it was. ". . . most ironic thing? She'd done it before, I mean . . . lying to me 'bout our kid. Turned out that one's really mine, but still . . . ."

"So you dumped her," Nowicki said. "I get it."

"No," Shane said, shaking his head slowly and then let out a weak, drunken laugh. "She walked out on me. Ain't that a laugh." He tried to laugh again, but couldn't, then stared down at the row of now-empty glasses in front of him. He tried to count them, but they kept moving, so he gave up, and looked back at Nowicki. "Yeah, she walked out on me . . . and then . . . then I fell in love with her sister . . . Johnson's wife."

Nowicki roared with laughter, a loud, drunken cackle that drew looks from all the RAF officers in the room. He lowered his voice, but was still laughing as he said, "Oh, man, Spooky. You are - how would you put it? 'Bloody well screwed.'"

_Yes_, Shane thought, just before he passed out. _"Bloody well screwed." That just about sums it up perfectly_.


	24. Chapter 23

They were there again, the faceless men. He could feel them gathering around him. Steve felt something cold on his chest and a hand on his wrist. He jerked his hand away and pushed himself up off the table, yelling "No!"

He heard a voice telling him to calm down. It was not the harsh voice of one of the faceless men, it was softer with a British accent. Steve opened his eyes and saw a man in hospital scrubs and a white coat standing in front of him. He looked around quickly, and saw the soldier still in the bed next to him and watching him with concern in his eyes. He wasn't in the compound, he was at that military base in Cyprus where Shane had brought him.

"Relax, Mr. Johnson," the man said. "I'm Dr. Taylor and I just want to examine you for a moment."

Steve stared at the man's face, something about it was vaguely familiar. "You tried to 'examine' me last night too, didn't you?" Steve asked in a sharp tone.

"I was one of the attending physicians when you were brought in to the facility."

"Well, then you've seen all of me you need to see. You and your butcher buddies can just stay the hell away from me."

"Mr. Johnson, you have been through a terrible ordeal and you need medical attention. You are suffering from malnutrition, the after-affects of numerous infections, and you have wounds that need to be tended." Dr. Taylor pointed to the still open and raw wounds on Steve's wrists.

"I'm fine," Steve said through clenched teeth. "All I need is to go home to my family. I don't need any more needles, any more tests, any more examinations from any of you."

"You are most certainly not fine, Mr. Johnson. And if you are unwilling to submit to necessary medical treatment, I will have no choice but to have the orderlies restrain you again."

"Touch me again and you're a dead man," Steve said in a controlled, but deadly serious voice. "That goes for your goons as well."

"Y'all better listen to the feller, Doc," said the voice from the next bed. "Spooky done warned them orderlies about tying this guy up again. Y'all don't want to go and make Spooky mad."

"All right, I'll leave you alone for now, Mr. Johnson. But you are not well and the sooner you realize that I am here to help you, the better off you will be." Dr. Taylor gave Steve one more stern look then left.

Steve turned to the soldier next to him. "Thanks for the back-up . . . uh . . .," Steve paused realizing he did not know the man's name.

"Sergeant Roy Deakins," said the man.

"Steve Johnson," Steve replied.

"Nice to meet y'all, formally speaking anyway," said Deakins.

Steve remembered Shane saying that Deakins was one of the men who had helped rescue him. "I guess I owe you more than one thank you, dude. Shane said you were one of the guys that helped get me out of that hellhole."

"It's just part of the job. Ol' Spooky said we needed to get y'all out, so that's what we did. Course I had to mess up and get shot in the process. Good thing Spooky's stronger then he looks. I'd be a goner if he hadn't of hauled me outta there."

Steve chuckled at Deakins' use of "Spooky" for Shane. He'd have to remember that one. Needling Shane and his stiff upper lip always provided amusement.

"Spooky said y'all were his brother-in-law or was anyway."

Steve nodded. "Shane used to be married to my wife's sister." _My wife_, Steve thought silently. His heart was crying out to see her and Stephanie. He didn't know how much longer he could be patient. It had never been his strong suit anyway.

"Well, y'all must have a different way of doing things where y'all are from. Down my way, we wouldn't be going in to rescue no ex-brother-in-law."

Steve chuckled again. "You're probably right, but Shane and I go way back and he's a good dude." _Way back_. That was a bit of an understatement. But no matter what had happened in the past, once they became part of the same family, he and Shane had always had each other's backs, even when they disagreed.

"Ol' Spooky showed me a picture of y'all's little girl. She's a cutie. I bet y'all can't wait to get home to see her."

"You got that right, dude." Steve briefly wondered why Shane had a picture of Stephanie, but that question was quickly replaced by thoughts of his daughter. She was nearly 18 months old now. He had missed the last nine months of her life. _Nine months_. He'd been gone more than half of her life. He thought again of the picture Shane had and wondered what she looked like and how she had changed. He hoped that he could somehow make it up to her for being gone for so long.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Deakins settle back down in his bed and Steve did the same. As much as he dreaded the nightmares he knew were coming, exhaustion was quickly overtaking him. He thought again of Kayla, wanting so badly to hold her, touch her, feel her love wrapped around him. He made a promise to himself to make Shane bring her here or get Steve home without any further delays. He didn't care about ISA issues or security concerns. It was his life and nobody would control him like that again. He wanted his wife with him and he would find a way to make that happen sooner, not later.


	25. Chapter 24

"Donovan Manor?" Chief Tarrington said. "That's utterly out of the question."

Shane winced as Tarrington's loud voice echoed inside his head. He had woken that morning with a thumping headache, a nasty taste in his mouth, and absolutely no clue how he had made it back to his quarters. He also had woken wearing the same clothes as the night before, his head on the mattress and his feet resting on the pillow. The last thing he had remembered was sitting down at the Officer's Club opposite Nowicki. Everything after that was a blank.

Now sitting in Tarrington's temporary office with a nasty hangover, Shane pledged never to drink with soldiers ever again.

After Tarrington's voice had stopped echoing, Shane said, "It makes perfect sense. Alamain will have no clue where Steve is until he is strong enough to return to Salem."

"We need Johnson here, Shane. Or in another military hospital."

Shane shook his head. "That won't be any good. Whatever happened to Steve has left him unwilling to cooperate with the doctors. They tried to examine him last night and couldn't."

"Then they'll have to restrain him for his own safety," Tarrington said.

"Under no circumstances will I allow that." Shane had begun to pace. Each step seemed to mirror the sound of a hammer striking the inside of his skull. "We'd be no better than Alamain, keeping him locked up against his will, using him for whatever purpose. I spoke with the doctors. There's nothing physically wrong with him that food and rest won't cure. The doctors agree that anything he needs could be provided by a nurse, and he'll respond far better to Kayla than to a strange doctor."

Tarrington chewed on his lower lip for a minute. "Shane, we need access to his blood. We don't know if Dr. Manning has enough for the antidote. We may not know that for weeks."

"It's Donovan Manor. He'd only be an hour from London." Shane's own voice had risen, making him fear his head would explode, so he took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain. "Look . . . The best thing for us is to get Steve's cooperation. It's not just his blood; he may have information on Lawrence Alamain. We won't get that if we torture the man."

Something in what Shane had said seemed to get through. "You're right," Tarrington said. "He might have information." Tarrington spent a couple of minutes thinking, before he spoke again. "What about Johnson's mental state? Neither you nor Kayla are trained for that."

No, Tarrington was right about that, Shane had to acknowledge. Not that it mattered much. Steve would never accept help from an ISA or military specialist. He rubbed his temples, trying to rid himself of the throbbing pain. If only there was someone Steve knew who could help, someone Steve would trust. Someone. . . .

"I'll make sure he receives treatment," Shane said. "I know someone who can help."

"Well, then, please share." Tarrington sounded annoyed.

Shane took a deep breath. "Kimberly." At Tarrington's raised eyebrow, Shane explained. "She's trained to help with abuse cases, and she worked with me to recover my memory. So it's not like she's unskilled. And, most important, she's someone Steve will trust."

"So let me see if I understand. You'd have your ex-wife, her sister - who's now your girlfriend -and her sister's presumed-dead husband all at your home at once?" Tarrington shook his head. "I know this last year has been difficult, old boy, but I think you've gone off your rocker."

The hammers grew louder and Shane had to close his eyes for a moment before he responded. "This has nothing to do with my personal life," he said through gritted teeth. "This is only about Steve, getting him the best care he can, and reuniting him with his wife."

Tarrington continued to shake his head. "You're a good agent, Shane. That's why you're Head of Special Investigations. But while you may be my second-in-command, if you believe this has nothing to do with your personal life, you're quite the fool."

"Then I'm a bloody fool, Tarrington. It's still the best option we've got."

Tarrington fell silent, but finally gave a curt nod. "Very well. This was your mission after all."

"Good," Shane said. "We'll be on the next flight that lands anywhere within 100 miles of Gloucestershire."

"However, understand this, Shane. If Johnson doesn't show improvement, the ISA will declare him a risk to national security and take him to one of our facilities."

Shane knew that was the best he was going to do, so he nodded. "I understand." As he left Tarrington's office, Shane began pondering the next hurdle. How the devil was he going to get both Kim and Kayla to England? And even if he found a way, how would he do it without raising Alamain's suspicions?


	26. Chapter 25

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He had not seen Shane since yesterday morning and he was beginning to wonder if Shane had just decided to leave him there. A few soldiers had come by to see Deakins the previous evening. From what Steve could understand, it sounded like Deakins' unit was heading out and Deakins would be joining them when he had completed his recovery from the gunshot wound. Steve had tried to thank the soldiers for helping him, but to a man they had repeated Deakins' comment - it was just their job. Deakins was now off somewhere doing physical therapy of some sort, leaving Steve alone in the ward.

Of course, aside from those conversations with the soldiers and a few idle chats with Deakins, Steve had mostly been left alone with his thoughts anyway. The doctors had apparently taken his threats seriously and Steve had not seen any of them again. Orderlies had been by to bring him food and some oral medications, but otherwise gave Steve a wide berth.

When Steve had gotten up to find a bathroom, one had approached him. Steve didn't know if he had intended to help or intended to keep Steve from getting up and he didn't care. One look from Steve had sent the orderly in retreat. Steve had watched the man follow him to the bathroom, keeping a safe distance. Steve knew he was in no condition to be much of a threat, so he assumed that Shane's warnings must have done the trick. But, whatever it was, Steve didn't care. He had spent months locked up and unable to do anything without the constant threats of beatings or restraint. He was damned if he was going to ask an orderly for help to use the bathroom. He was still capable of handling some things on his own, even if the effort had exhausted him.

On some level, Steve knew he was being a little unreasonable about the doctors, but most of him just didn't care. He didn't know them and he damn well didn't trust them. He had been pretty out of it when he had arrived at the hospital, but that didn't mean he didn't remember the way they had tossed him on the exam table, held him down, and then kept him there as they "examined" him. In many ways, their examination had felt little different from the ones in the places he had been kept over the last few months and, at times, Steve had been unsure whether he had actually escaped the compound or not. But now he knew he was free, and nobody was going to use him as a guinea pig anymore.

Steve had spent most of his time drifting in and out of sleep. Inevitably, he would awaken in the midst of another nightmare. But even with that, it was the most uninterrupted sleep he had enjoyed in a long time.

Then there was the hospital food. If Steve had not been half-starved, he would have declared the British hospital food inedible. But nine months of being fed scraps of things Steve didn't want to think about had made the hospital meals look like a five-star meal. Even though it had only been about 36 hours since he left the compound, the rest, food, and relatively safety of the hospital had Steve feeling vaguely human again. And that was something he had not felt in longer than he could remember.

Steve's thoughts were interrupted as he heard footsteps approaching. He looked up to see Shane approaching. "Good evening, Captain Donovan," Steve said with an edge to his voice. "I guess you didn't just leave me here after all."

Shane stopped beside the bed and sat down. He grimaced a bit and then said, "Of course I didn't leave you here, Steve. If you want to know, I've been trying to make the necessary arrangements to get you out of here."

"It's about time, dude. So when do we head home?"

"We're not going back to Salem, Steve. Not yet. As I told you before, it's too dangerous. Whether or not you like it, you're in no condition to protect yourself from Alamain's people," Shane said. Before Steve could protest further, Shane continued, "And it's not just about you. Going back to Salem would put Kayla and Stephanie in danger as well."

Steve wanted to argue, but knew he couldn't. Shane was right; he was in no physical condition to protect himself or his family. With a sigh, Steve said more evenly, "Okay, if I'm not going home, where are you sending me?"

"I'd like you to come to Donovan Manor and stay there for awhile. It's fully secure and, once there, you can recover and regain your strength."

"Donovan Manor?" Steve scoffed. "What is that? Your family estate with hounds and horses and all that proper British stuff?" Steve asked, mimicking Shane's British accent.

"Yes, it's my family's home," Shane said, ignoring Steve's needling. "So? Can I get you to agree on that? Otherwise, you'll be here for the duration."

"What about Kayla and Stephanie? I'm not going anywhere until I know I'm going to see them."

"I've arranged for an ISA plane to bring Kayla and Stephanie to Donovan Manor," Shane replied. "With any luck, they should arrive the day after we do."

"So you've told Kayla that you found me? What did she say?" Steve asked, a little afraid of the answer.

Shane hesitated a moment. "No, I haven't told her yet, and I don't intend to tell her until she arrives in England. I intend to call her before we leave on our transport early tomorrow morning."

"If you don't tell her, how can you be sure she'll come?" Steve asked, doubting Shane's plan.

"Don't worry, I'll convince her, and I'll make sure she brings Stephanie," Shane said sharply.

Steve felt like he was missing something, but was suddenly too tired to care. Shane said that he would get Kayla and Stephanie to Donovan Manor and he hadn't let him down yet. "Okay, Donovan, you win. I'll go to the estate. Hell, maybe I'll even learn to drink tea."

That caused Shane to chuckle. "Good. Our transport leaves at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow, so get some sleep. And please try not to threaten any more doctors."

"If they leave me alone, dude, I'll leave them alone," Steve said with a grin. Then his face grew serious. "Hey, Shane. Deakins said you had a picture of Stephanie with you. Can I see it?"

Steve saw a strange look pass across Shane's face, but then Shane reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture. He looked at it for a moment and Steve could have sworn Shane looked sad. Then Shane gave a small smile and handed the picture to Steve.

"It was taken last Christmas. She's changed a bit since then," Shane said as Steve took the picture from his hand.

Steve's breathing quickened, and he felt his chest constrict as he looked at his little girl in Eve's arms. Even though the picture had been taken just a couple of months after he had left them, she still seemed to have changed so much. He could hardly imagine how different she must look now.

"I guess you must have spent Christmas with the Brady's, huh?" Steve asked, still staring at the picture.

"Yes. It was nice for Andrew to see the family. Look, why don't you hold onto that picture for a while. I, um, can get it back when you see Stephanie for real."

"Thanks, man. I can't wait to see her and Kayla."

"I'm sure," Shane said. "Before I go, there's one more thing we need to discuss. You need to understand that this entire mission and your rescue must remain a secret. I'll give Kayla the basic information, but it's of the gravest necessity that nobody else knows anything about it. I'm working on a cover story to use when we return to Salem."

"More ISA secrecy, huh?" Steve rolled his eyes.

"Actually, yes. Egypt's a friendly nation to the West, and it would not sit well with them to discover that we invaded their country, even if it was only to destroy Alamain's compound. Therefore, it is utterly critical that nobody ever find out that the ISA was involved in your rescue."

"Fine," Steve said. "I don't understand why it's such a big deal, but I promise I won't say a word, dude. Happy?"

"As long as I have your word, yes," Shane replied. With that, Shane stood and headed for the door. "See you in the morning, Steve."

"Yeah. You too, Shane," Steve replied.

Two more nights, Steve thought. One more night here and another in England, and he would be with his wife and daughter again. That thought put a smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep.


	27. Chapter 26

"Kay? Did you hear me? Earth to Kayla."

Kayla snapped to attention. Kim was waving a hand in front of her face. "Sorry, Kim, it's just been a very long day."

That was definitely true after getting to the lab so early. It had been a long day with the sudden arrival of the new blood samples, lunch with Roman and Isabella, and, at the end of the day, dinner at her folks. She had reason to be unfocused.

Of course, that was not the reason her mind was wandering. She still had no idea why Shane had called Roman, but not her. It made no sense unless something had happened that had changed Shane's feelings for her. She had refused to admit it, but that had always been a fear at the back of her mind whenever he went away.

"Okay, Sis, tell me what's going on," Kim said. "And don't tell me it's because you were up early."

Kayla sighed. Kim knew her too well, but the last person she was going to discuss Shane Donovan with was her sister.

"You're thinking about Shane, aren't you?" Kim had a knowing look. "I know that look. It's the 'where is he and what's going on' look. Trust me, I saw it plenty of times in the mirror."

"At least, I know he's all right," Kayla said. "He called Roman last night."

Kim's eyes narrowed. "Roman, but not you?"

Kayla shook her head. She knew Roman had said it was just a quick call, and there were reasons why he might not have called her that late, but she couldn't help but be upset. Shane said he loved her. She should have been the first person he called; he had to know she worried about his safety. With a resigned sigh, Kayla looked at the clock - 9:30 p.m. - and stood up from the sofa. "You know what? It's late and Stephanie and I should be getting home."

Kim got up as well, and they started for the bedroom where their daughters were sleeping, but the phone rang. Kim reached it first. "Brady residence." She listened for a moment. "Shane, is that you? It's hard to hear." Another pause. "Kayla's here, too. Let me get her. What? Why do you want to talk to me?" Kim gave Kayla a look that said "I have no idea what's going on."

Kayla was equally baffled - and frustrated. _Why is he calling Kim? Why doesn't he want to talk to me? _Damn, she hated these feelings. She hated the very idea of being insecure.

"I guess so," she heard Kim say. "That's really a lot to ask. What do I do about the clinic? They will?" Kim looked like the was thinking carefully about something. "Is this really necessary? Couldn't you find someone else?" Then another pause as Kim listened. "All right. If you think so. When do you want me to leave?" Kim reached for the note pad next to the phone, picked up a pen, and began writing something down. "Wow, you're really going all out, aren't you?"

_What's going on? Where is she going? _Kayla wondered if Shane was involved in yet another ISA plan that would force him to work close with Kim. They had just gone through that with Lawrence, and Kayla would be damned if she sat by and watched that happen again.

"Here," Kim said, holding out the phone. "Shane wants to speak with you."

Kayla took it and, perhaps more strongly than she should have, demanded some answers. "Where are you and why haven't you called me?" Her anger immediately dissipated when she heard his voice.

"I'm sorry, Kay. I've just been very busy," Shane said. "I didn't mean for you to worry."

That did not explain why Shane had called Roman, but Kayla did not press the point. "But you're okay?"

"Of course," Shane replied. "I'm fine. A little tired, but-" His words were cut off by a loud noise and his voice grew louder, like he was yelling on his end so he could be heard. "But otherwise, I'm fine."

"Where are you?" Kayla asked, her own voice rising. "It sounds like a hurricane there."

"Just a jet," Shane said. "I'm at an airfield. Actually, that's why I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

There was a pause as the background noise seemed to disappear. Kayla guessed the plane had taken off, and Shane was waiting for it to go. "I need to explain something to you," he said. "I'm having Kim come to England to assist with some ISA business. It's going to keep me there for a couple of weeks. I know you won't be happy to hear that."

That was probably the understatement of the year. Kayla turned around to see that Kim had stepped out of the room. "Why can't you find someone else?" she asked.

"It's hard to explain," Shane said. "If I could use anyone else, I would." He sounded hesitant. "Listen, why don't you and Stephanie come too?"

Kayla thought her hearing had failed her. "Come too? To England?"

"Yes, to Donovan Manor," Shane explained. "Kim's bringing Andrew and Jeannie. I've got an ISA plane lined up to bring them and I've arranged a temporary staff at the house. You've been working so hard at the lab, I think you could use a break."

Kayla tried to process that. Go to Donovan Manor, Shane's family estate. She had always wanted to go there. _Yes, but Kimberly would be there too_. Of course, if Kayla was there, she would be able to make sure that nothing untoward happened between Shane and Kim. And she had been working hard at the lab.

The lab. Shane didn't know the news.

"Shane, I didn't tell you, but we had a huge breakthrough at the lab. The CDC sent us some blood that has antibodies that kill the virus. Carly thinks she should have a cure in a couple of days."

She expected Shane to be thrilled. After all, that was why he had spent so much of his own money to fund the lab. Instead, he responded with a tepid, "That's quite good to hear."

"Good? It's not just good. It's great."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Kay." Shane sounded odd, like something else had him preoccupied. "It really is great. I'm just tired."

"Shane, you're really okay, aren't you?"

"I'm fine," Shane assured her. "Look, would you please come to England with Stephanie? Please."

Kayla thought about that. She really could leave the lab for a few days. Carly nearly had the cure for the virus and Bo would be safe. And this might be the only chance for her to see Shane for weeks. So what if Kim was there.

"Because you asked so nicely, I guess I'll do it." She glanced around the room to ensure that Kim had not returned. "But you have to promise me something."

"What's that?" he asked.

"That we get some time together. Alone." In a coy voice, Kayla added, "I've missed you, and I want to show you just how much."

"Um . . . yeah." That was hardly the response she had expected. Kayla just did not understand what was going on with him.

"Are you really sure you're okay?" she asked. "When you left, you seemed like something was bothering you, and now-"

"Kay, I'm fine," Shane said, cutting her off. "Come to England and you can see for yourself." Something in his voice disturbed her. It was cold, unemotional.

Kayla sighed. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

There was a long silence on the other end. Finally, he answered. "No, there's nothing I'm holding back from you."

"Fine. You win. When do we leave?"

"Kim has all the information," Shane said. "I'd better go. I've got a plane to catch."

"All right." Kayla once again used her coy voice. "I'll be counting the minutes until we're together."

There was another silence, but not as long as the one before. "Um . . . okay. Look, I really have to go."

"Shane. I love-" She did not finish the sentence because the call cut-off with a click. Kayla stood there, in her parents' empty living room and stared at the phone, trying to figure out what had just happened.

"Kay?" She turned around to see that Kim had returned. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Kayla said, honestly. "He hung up without saying he loved me."

Kim gave her a sympathetic smile. "I thought we went through this already. Look at that ring on your finger," she said, pointing to the emerald. "That says everything, Kay. Shane loves you and, as hard as it is for me to say so, even I can see that. So don't you doubt it."

Kayla nodded, but, deep down, she wasn't sure she believed it.


	28. Chapter 27

"When will we see Daddy?" Andrew asked.

Kim looked up from her packing and smiled. "Tomorrow, Andrew. Tomorrow, we're going to take a big plane and fly all the way to England. And you're going to see where Daddy lived when he was a little boy."

With a sad smile, she thought of Donovan Manor. She had so many bittersweet memories of the house. It was where she and Shane first admitted that they loved each other and where they first made love. She remembered walking around the estate's gardens, seeing the spring roses in bloom. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

They also had returned for their second honeymoon. She remembered walking through the gardens and seeing the September flowers that time. Getting caught in a rainstorm and seeking shelter - and then making love - in the stables. That had been such a wonderful time in their lives. That had been when Kim thought that their troubles were behind them, and she and Shane would be together forever.

Of course, Shane had been distracted during that visit as he was forced to really deal for the first time with his parents' deaths. That had been so like Shane, the way he put off mourning their deaths for so many years. He probably had reacted to the news of their boat accident by burying himself in his work. That was just his way of dealing with emotional pain.

She finished putting Andrew's clothes in the case and thought about what she needed to take for Jeannie. The clothes part was easy, but did she take diapers? No. Shane planned things down to the last detail. He would never forget diapers, especially with Stephanie also there.

Letting out a deep breath, Kim walked over to her closet and pulled out her own suitcase. She set it on the bed and realized she had locked it. Damn. Where was the key? She checked the drawers, but it was nowhere in sight. Finally, she gave up and pulled out a letter opener off the desk.

Kim had learned a few tricks from being an ISA wife. She stuck the letter opener into the lock and fiddled with it for a moment until it clicked open. _Bingo_. Kim opened the case and went back to packing. _What do I take for myself_? she wondered. _Are there special fashion rules for the ex_?As she began selecting things to wear, her mind wandered back to Kayla and Stephanie. It was hard for her, Kim had to admit, to see Shane bond so strongly with Kayla's daughter.

He had been trying to develop a relationship with Jeannie, but she knew it was still hard for him. Jeannie was a constant reminder of Kim's relationship with Cal Winters, and no matter how much Shane pretended it did not matter, Kim could see the pain in his eyes every time he held her.

Maybe this time at Donovan Manor would change that. In the same house, Shane would have more time to spend with Jeannie. Of course, it was going to be plenty awkward with Kayla and Stephanie there as well.

Kim really did not understand Shane's thinking. On the phone, he had said he needed her for some ISA business. But if that was the case, she might as well have stayed at a hotel in London near ISA headquarters. And if they were going to be busy working, Shane would have little time for Kayla. It hardly made sense, even if Shane had explained that he wanted to allay any of Kayla's fears about her and Shane being together on ISA business.

And then there was the cover story for this trip - a last-minute summer vacation and a chance for Andrew to see the family home. Kim had no idea why Shane was trying to keep a secret about her work for the ISA, or how she was supposed to explain why the summer vacation included both her and Kayla. Thankfully, they would be leaving so soon that she could avoid such awkward questions.

Still, nothing about this trip seemed to make sense. From the strange way Shane had acted when he left to this joint invitation to Donovan Manor, Kim had to wonder what was going on. At least, she knew he was safe, but that did not diminish the nagging feeling that there was a lot more to this excursion than Shane was telling them.

As she pulled the last of her clothing and folded it into her suitcase, Kim sighed. Next stop England - and whatever mystery Shane Donovan had in store for them.


	29. Chapter 28

The inside of the taxicab was silent as it drove through the English countryside. Steve stared out the window and once again wondered what the hell was going on. He had heard Shane's explanation for why they could not go back to Salem, but had a hard time believing that, between the ISA and Salem PD, nobody could protect him from this Alamain dude Shane kept talking about.

He looked over at Shane, who seemed lost in thought as he too looked out the windows. What was he thinking? On the plane, he had reassured Steve that Kayla would be coming to England tomorrow and had promised no more doctors. Only Kayla would take care of him.

_Why can't it be tomorrow already_? Steve wanted to see her so much, his insides ached. It was only one day to wait, but it seemed like forever. _It's been nine months_, he reminded himself. _What's one more day_?

The cab turned down onto a smaller road, little more than a track really. "We getting close?" Steve asked.

Shane just nodded. That was odd, Steve thought. He had expected Shane to spend the entire drive from Oxford spewing out the history of the area, important places, and a lot of BS that Steve could care less about when all he wanted to do was see Kayla. But, for once, the man with all the words had stayed silent.

"Turn left up ahead," Shane told the cabbie, then went back to staring out the window.

Steve could guess why Shane was so silent. He had mentioned that Kim would be coming too. To help Steve with the nightmares, Shane said. _Yeah, right dude. Like I'm gonna let anyone mess with my head after what I've gone through_. Still, Steve understood the idea, and figured it was not going to be easy on Shane to be stuck in a house with his ex.

_Or maybe not_.

"Are you kidding me?" Steve asked as the cab turned down a long driveway lined with carefully manicured hedges and approached a large grey building. "That's the size of a friggin' hotel." It really was, and Shane could probably spend a month in there without ever running into Kim if he wanted to avoid her. From the cab, Steve could see three floors, over a dozen windows, and at least two chimneys. He looked over at Shane. "Dude, you really grew up here?"

"Yes," was all Shane said.

"Whoa." Steve knew Shane came from money, but he never expected anything like this. _About as far from that orphanage in L.A. as you can get, isn't it_? he thought to himself.

The cab pulled up to the house and came to a stop. "Wait here," Shane said, as he climbed out. A moment later, a man in a dark suit came through the front doors and approached the cab. He and Shane exchanged a few words and shook hands. Then Shane came over to Steve's door, opened it, and held out his arm. "Let me give you a hand."

It stuck in Steve's craw to be dependent on anyone, but he had to admit that it helped to be able to lean on someone. Damn, he hated being so weak. But just wait until he got his strength back. He was going to find the bastards that did this to him, and they would pay. If it really was that Alamain dude, then Steve would make sure he paid.

Shane helped him into the house as the other man, a butler named Worthington, brought in Shane's bags. _I travel light these days_, Steve thought as he looked down at the military fatigues he was given at the military base.

As they entered the building, Steve wondered again, _This is a house_? The place was huge. The walls were a dark, reddish wood and the floors had what Steve figured were pretty expensive rugs. Steve looked around, taking in the paintings on the walls and the antique furniture. _That stuff has to be worth a fortune_.

Just to the right of the entrance was a winding staircase. Shane helped Steve toward it. "I'm sorry we don't have a suitable room downstairs," Shane said. "I'd have liked to spare you the staircase as much as possible, but we'd have to have put you in the servants' quarters if we did. This room will be far more comfortable." Before they started up, Shane turned to the butler. "Worthington, would you please bring up some food for Mr. Johnson?"

"Of course, Master Donovan," the man said.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not very hungry." The last thing Steve needed was for some stuffed shirt to wait on him hand and foot.

Shane chuckled. "Wrong answer, Steve. Doctors' orders are that you get small meals five or six times a day. You've got to get that weight back up."

It was slow going on the stairs and, by the time they reached the top, Steve was gasping for breath. _I am gonna get those bastards_, he pledged once more.

"It's just over here." Shane guided Steve to a room and opened the door.

Steve surveyed the room. In his best English accent, he said, "Yes, I guess this will do, old chap. I am rather disappointed that you have not broken out the silk sheets." That elicited a laugh as Shane helped Steve to the bed. _Definitely large enough for two_, he thought, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Worthington sent out to the local haberdashery, so they're supposed to have some things sent over for you in an hour or two. I'll have Worthington bring them in and you should just pick and choose what you want."

_Just pick and choose what I want_? Steve thought. _This has to be some bizarre dream. Or some other universe_. Just the word "haberdashery" sent him back to when he had worked at Saxton's. Steve remembered the suits he had been forced to wear and was willing to bet that Worthington's options wouldn't include a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt. "Um, yeah," Steve said. Just then, the butler entered carrying a tray with some fruit, soup and something under a silver lid.

"Where would Master Johnson like his meal served?" Worthington asked.

Steve just shook his head. _This has to be a dream_.


	30. Chapter 29

The flight from the U.S. had been fairly easy. The private plane had plenty of space for them to move around, the babies had slept much of the way, and the pilot had taken Andrew to the cockpit for a lengthy tour.

For Kayla, the problem was that the lack of distractions had left her eight hours to dwell on other things. Like the fact that this was the third anniversary of her first wedding to Steve and she was traveling to see another man. And that other man was behaving oddly, leaving her scared and nervous about what might be awaiting her once she arrived at Donovan Manor. Now they were in a limousine traveling from Oxford to Shane's home and those concerns remained at the forefront of her mind.

On the other side of the limo, Kim was pointing things out to Andrew - the church where Shane was baptized, the school he had attended before Eton, and other reminders that Kim knew Shane far better than Kayla did.

Looking out the window, Kayla had to admit it was beautiful here. The roads were lined with lush green bushes and trees. The homes, with their thatched roofs, looked like they had jumped out of a fairytale.

She smiled as she thought of Shane as a young boy walking along these country roads or, more likely, riding his horse across the countryside. How different his childhood must have been from hers.

She knew they were different and remembered a walk they had taken along the pier. Shane had talked about things he enjoyed that he hoped to show her, and just about each of them was something she did not enjoy.

_That doesn't mean you aren't meant to be together_, she thought. No, they still loved each other.

"There's Daddy's house," Kim said, as the limousine turned down a driveway.

Kayla swallowed hard. She had seen photos of Donovan Manor in Bo and Hope's wedding album, but they did not convey the sheer size of the place.

For some reason, Kayla's mind suddenly flashed back to the year that Pop had been sick and the Bradys had not been able to afford a turkey for Thanksgiving. Shane had probably never experienced anything like that. He never had to wear his siblings' old clothes or whatever mismatched outfits his mom found at the Goodwill.

Just another reminder of how different they were. _Could that be the reason Shane had pulled away_? _Did coming home make him question whether they were suitable for one another_? Suddenly the differences in their lives that seemed so easy to overcome in Salem felt much bigger.

The car pulled to a stop and they all got out. Kayla carried Stephanie and started to go to the trunk, but Kim stopped her.

"The driver will take care of the luggage."

_Of course_, Kayla thought. _Kim knows her way around here. She understands how it works. _With a sense of growing unease, Kayla followed her sister to the front door where the butler was waiting.

"Welcome, Madames," he said. "Master Donovan will be here momentarily."


	31. Chapter 30

"I know it's hard," Shane said. "But, please, just let me talk to Kayla first. This is going to be a tremendous shock to her but, if you let me have an opportunity to prepare her, it might cushion the blow."

Steve was sitting on the edge of his bed and grimaced. He was wearing some of the new clothes that Worthington had arranged. Shane could tell they were not what Steve would have chosen, but Worthington probably had been unable to find a leather jacket on such short notice in the local shops. At least, Steve had not complained. In fact, he had not even made a snide remark about the clothes, so Shane took that as a sign the clothes were satisfactory.

"I promise it'll just be a few minutes," Shane said. "Just long enough for me to explain. Then I'll bring them up here to see you. Okay?"

"Fine," Steve finally said.

_Thank god_, Shane thought. He had had nightmares envisioning Kayla throwing herself into his arms, not realizing Steve was there. It was bad enough that Shane had played on her insecurities about Kim to get her to England. The last thing he wanted to do was cause problems for her reunion with Steve.

Shane figured that, sooner or later, they would have to tell Steve about his relationship with Kayla. Too many people in Salem knew about it, and it would be disastrous if Steve learned about it from Marcus or one of the Bradys. However, Shane believed the decision about when to tell Steve belonged to Kayla. She had to decide when the time was right, and she might feel that it should to wait until Steve was stronger. So, for now, Shane needed to help avoid any inadvertent disclosures before she was ready.

"All right," Shane said. "I'll be back shortly." He walked out of the guest bedroom and headed downstairs.

Kayla, Kim and the children were waiting in the foyer. He couldn't help think that Kayla looked beautiful. Even eight hours on a plane did not diminish her beauty.

_Stop it_, he told himself. _She's not yours anymore. _Shane had been stabbed before, but that thought cut him more painfully than any knife. _Dammit, you're supposed to be happy for her._ True, but he was realizing that it was going to be a lot harder to let her go than he anticipated. With a deep breath, he forced a smile to his face.

He reached the bottom of the stairs, just as Andrew let out a loud, "Daddy!" and raced up to him. Shane's fake smile turned genuine as he crouched and hugged his son. Andrew started chattering, tossing out a string of questions - "Is this really your house?"; "Did you live here when you were a boy""; "Is there really a lake out there?"; and "Are you the richest man in England?"

Shane tried to keep them straight. "Yes"; "yes"; "well, it's really a pond"; and "definitely not." He looked over at Kayla and Kim. Kim was smiling at them. Kayla was looking down at Stephanie, trying to soothe her. At that moment, the maid entered the foyer and Shane said to Andrew, "Listen, Sport, Daddy needs to talk with Mummy and Aunt Kayla." He motioned to the maid. "This is Mrs. Batson, who'll be staying with us while you're here. Why don't you go into the kitchen with her and have some cookies and, later, I'll start showing you all the places where I used to play when I was your age."

As the maid led Andrew out of the room, Shane turned to Kayla and Kim and took a moment to steady his nerves.

_This is going to be a lot more difficult than I thought_. But there was no way he could prolong telling her any longer. Shane took a deep breath and steeled himself against the pain.

_Remember, _he reminded himself_, you're supposed to be happy for them._


	32. Chapter 31

Steve sat impatiently on the side of the bed. In his head, he understood why Shane had told him to wait there until he called for him. The news of his return from the dead would undoubtedly be a shock to Kayla and it would be easier for her to hear the news and the necessary explanations from Shane before seeing him. It made perfect sense. At least, that is what he kept telling himself, even if he couldn't make his heart believe it.

His heart wanted only one thing - to run down the stairs and straight into Kayla's arms. Unfortunately, he wasn't going to be running anywhere for a little while, but he would have crawled down those stairs if he had to. His memories of Kayla had been the only thing that kept him going during those endless months of hell. Every time his body had been ready to give up, every time he thought he couldn't take one more second of it, Kayla's face had appeared in his mind. He could see her eyes filled with love for him and he could hear her voice telling him to hold on, that she loved him and that he couldn't stop fighting. She had kept him alive and somehow given him hope even when all rational thought told him there was no hope left.

And there was Stephanie. For the thousandth time since Shane had first given it to him, Steve looked at the picture of his daughter again. He had sworn he would never be a man who would abandon his children, that his kids would grow up with their Papa loving them and supporting them. He already had failed to keep that promise to Stephanie. Maybe it wasn't his fault, but he had failed anyway. His daughter had spent nine months without him there to protect her and love her. He made a new promise that he would do whatever he had to in order to make it up to her. Steve's arms ached to hold his little sweetness as much as they ached to hold his wife. And they were both so close, just down those stairs.

Steve told himself to wait. It had been only a minute or so since Shane had left, even if it did feel like hours. How long could it take Shane to tell Kayla the news anyway? A few minutes at best, right? Even Shane would know to cut the fancy words short at a time like this, wouldn't he?

Taking a deep breath, Steve slowly stood and looked in the mirror again. The black casual slacks, white button down shirt, and black vest were not the faded jeans and t-shirt he would have preferred, but at least it wasn't a suit. He had been pleasantly surprised when Worthington had presented him with numerous casual options. He guessed Shane must have been very specific about the types of clothes to request, and Steve now had a several sets of pants and shirts to replace the fatigues he had worn from the base.

Continuing to look in the mirror, Steve tried to ignore how bad he looked. He had never held any illusions about himself, but Kayla had never cared about the patch or the scar, and he had grown accustomed to seeing himself through her eyes. But he couldn't deny the truth now. His face was gaunt and the dark circles had not completely faded away. His hair had been trimmed by the barber Shane had brought out yesterday, but the shorter hair only made him look like more of a stranger to himself. The new clothes were nice, but they hung loosely on his body, a reminder of how skinny he was. As much as Steve tried to ignore it, a small voice in his head kept asking - would Kayla still want him, still love him when he looked so different?

Shutting that voice away for the moment, Steve instead walked to the door of his room, hoping to hear something that would indicate that it was time for him to come downstairs. He listened intently, but all he could hear was the slight buzz of conversation.

What could be taking so long? How long does it take to say "Hi, Kayla. I know this will come as a shock, but Steve's alive and upstairs." Okay, maybe that was unfair. It might take a little more introduction and explanation, but really it should be over by now. That small voice spoke up again. _Maybe something is wrong, maybe she doesn't want to see me, maybe this isn't good news to her_.

Steve tried to force that voice down again. Surely Shane would have told him if there was some reason to believe that this would not be good news for Kayla. Granted, Steve had not directly asked Shane questions about Kayla's current life, but Shane would have mentioned something, wouldn't he? Steve knew now that Kayla had believed he was dead for the last nine months. He couldn't help but wonder if she had moved on with her life without him. He couldn't blame her if she had, could he? Steve wasn't sure how to answer that question. His head said that he couldn't, but his heart hurt just thinking about Kayla with another man. He didn't even know if it was true and he wanted to kill him, whoever he was.

Steve couldn't take it anymore. He didn't care what Shane thought was best. He had to go downstairs and see Kayla. He had to know the answers to all of the questions spinning in his head. He had to know if he had been rescued from hell with a chance of resuming his life or whether he had simply exchanged one hell for another.

Taking one last deep breath, Steve looked again at the image in the mirror. He gave an ironic chuckle and said, "Ready or not, here I come, Sweetness." Turning from the mirror, he slowly made his way to the door of his room and out into the hall.


	33. Chapter 32

Kayla had always tried to avoid putting Shane in awkward situations when Andrew was around, so she waited until the maid escorted Andrew out of the foyer before she approached Shane. Physically, he seemed fine and she breathed a sigh of relief as she smiled at him.

Holding Stephanie, Kayla could not exactly give him a big hug, but she reached out with her free hand and gave him a one-arm embrace. "I was so worried about you," she said softly. "I missed you so much." At her touch, she felt Shane tense up, though he wrapped an arm around her shoulders for a moment before pulling away.

There it was again; he was distancing himself from her. _What was wrong_?

From where she stood, next to the door, Kim spoke. "Shane? Is everything okay?" Obviously, Kim had detected his odd mannerisms as well.

"Yeah," he said slowly. He almost sounded nervous. "Um . . . Everything's fine. Actually, it's better than fine." He ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I'd better start at the beginning and try to explain."

"Explain what?" Kayla asked. She reached out a hand to touch his arm, but he pulled it back. _Just what is going on?_

"Please, let me explain."

"Does this have to do with your mission?" Kim asked.

Shane nodded. "Everything." He paused. "Let me start by telling you that what I'm going to say can't be repeated to anyone. I could - no, I _would_ get in a lot of trouble if it got out. And I mean very serious trouble."

Kayla looked at Kim, whose face showed an equal amount of confusion. _Trouble? What was Shane talking about_? Kim nodded.

"Go ahead," she said. "We'll keep it a secret."

"Okay." He seemed to think for a moment, as if he was struggling to figure out what to say. "This mission . . . It was a rescue mission. To find a man." Shane hesitated. "God, this is hard to explain."

Kayla stepped close to Shane. "We can talk about this later if you want. There's no need to do it right now."

"Actually, there is," Shane said. Kayla saw him glance sideways toward the staircase. "Um, anyway, this mission. It was a success and we got the man out."

_Why was he so nervous_? _Was it the mission or is it me_? Kayla wondered. All of those uncertainties that had plagued her since Shane left Salem came flooding back. "Stop it," she said, interrupting him. "Before you say another word, I need to know something. You've been acting so strange, even before you left Salem." Kayla no longer cared that Kim was in the room. She needed answers now. "Have your feelings for me changed, Shane?" She reached out, took his hand and looked up at him.

What she saw was a very small, but sad smile on his face. With his free hand, he reached out and caressed her cheek. Then he pulled that hand back. "Everything's changed, Kay. Everything."

Kayla felt her a hollowness in her stomach. "What do you mean? Tell me."

"The man. . . . " Shane said. He looked up at the ceiling, obviously struggling for words. "He changes everything. You can be happy again."

"Shane!" Kayla's voice rose and she clenched Shane's hand tightly. "What do you mean 'I can be happy again'? Who is this man?"

From behind her came a voice. "It's me, baby. It's me."

Kayla turned toward the voice and saw, at the top of the staircase, the man she truly loved.

"Steve?"


	34. Chapter 33

As Steve neared the top of the stairs he could hear voices, although he could not make out the words at first. Then he heard it, the voice that lived in his heart. "Shane! What do you mean 'I can be happy again'? Who is this man?"

Unable to hold back any longer, Steve called out "It's me, baby. It's me."

He watched as Shane pulled his hand away from Kayla's and as Kayla turned towards the staircase. He saw the shock register on her face as she saw him and heard her softly say his name. Kayla's eyes and face had always shown her every emotion and this time was no different. He watched as the shock gave way to confusion and she turned back quickly to look at Shane. He could not see her face, but he saw a strange look pass across Shane's face - it almost looked like guilt for a moment.

Before Steve could fully process that thought, Kayla had turned back towards him again. Steve had not even known he was holding his breath, but when he saw the look he had been waiting for - one full of nothing but love for him - he finally started breathing again.

As Steve made his way slowly down the stairs, he took the opportunity to drink in the vision of his wife. She had changed since he had last seen her. Her hair was much shorter and she was wearing jeans and a casual shirt. He could count on one hand the number of times Kayla had worn jeans since he had met her but they looked good on her now. Memories flashed before his eyes with each step he took - their first kiss, the first time they made love, their wedding on the yacht, Stephanie's birth. Yet he could not remember a time when she looked more beautiful than she did right now.

Kayla seemed rooted in the spot as he slowly approached. He saw Kim hand off her daughter to Shane, then quietly approach and take the squirming Stephanie from a seemingly oblivious Kayla. Steve could see how much Stephanie had grown and he smiled as his daughter pointed up at him from the comfort of her aunt's arms.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Kayla finally took a step towards him. Her eyes had not left his from the time he had started down the stairs and their gaze remained locked as she approached him. Steve could see the tears in Kayla's eyes and could feel the ones in his own.

Kayla stopped in front of him. Slowly, Steve reached out and cupped her face in his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Sweetness," he said softly. "Everything's okay now." Kayla remained silent, but reached her own hand up and placed her hand on his cheek. Steve could feel the jolt of electricity from her touch and knew that she felt it too. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, tasting them again after so long.

When they separated, Steve saw a small smile cross Kayla's face. She gave a little laugh and softly said, "Steve."

"Steve smiled back and through his own tears, said "That's right baby, it's really me. Happy Anniversary, Sweetness." He leaned down and kissed her again, wanting to prove he was real. When the kiss ended, she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, laughing and crying at the same time.

Steve wrapped his arms around his wife, his Sweetness, and let out a laugh of his own. Holding her close, his face in her hair, Steve finally felt alive again. They might be in some mansion in England, but it didn't matter. He had Kayla in his arms, and he could see his daughter just a few feet away. As far as Steve was concerned, that made this home. Steven Earl Johnson was finally home.


	35. Chapter 34

Kim thought her heart had stopped as Steve walked down the stairs. How? Everyone told her that Steve had died at University Hospital. _How could he possibly be alive_?

She glanced at Shane, but then realized that he would not share her surprise. He had known. His mission. . . . His mission had been Steve. Now Kim understood the uncertainty she had seen in Shane's expression before he left. It wasn't uncertainty about the mission itself; it was uncertainty about what the mission would mean if he succeeded.

As she watched her ex-husband, Kim saw him change. Shane's shoulders pulled back, his head drew up, and the sad, pained look on his face dissolved, replaced by stone-faced nothingness. She had seen that before - Shane withdrawing into himself. It was as if he was shutting down his emotions right before her eyes.

Deep within herself, Kim felt a sensation that she did not want to acknowledge. It was schadenfreude at its worse - that tiny amount of glee at seeing Shane experience what she had gone through for the past five months. Being the outsider and watching the person you love move on with someone else. Kim tried to suppress that feeling, reminding herself that the only reason Shane was suffering right now was because he had done a good thing. She also reminded herself that Shane was the man she loved and she couldn't enjoy seeing him in pain.

Kim looked back at Steve and Kayla, who were still hugging and crying. Then, still clinging to Kayla, Steve turned toward Kim, no, toward the little girl she held in her arms.

Kayla, through a mask of tears, stepped forward. "Daddy's here," she said, her voice breaking. "He's really here."

Holding Stephanie out to Steve, Kim smiled. "Welcome back, Steve." He gave her a slight nod, but his eye was only on his daughter. He took her from Kim's arms and his tears seemed to flow even faster.

"It's me, Little Sweetness," he said, then turned back to Kayla. "Look how big she's gotten." His expression changed slightly. _Was that a twinge of guilt_? "I've missed so much, baby," he said to Kayla.

"You're here now, Steve, and you're never going to leave us again." Her eyes shone with such love that Kim felt the cruel sting of jealousy. _Shane used to look at me like that_. Now that seemed like such a long time ago.

Continuing to watch Steve and Kayla, Kim barely noticed that Shane had returned Jeannie to her arms. Jeannie squirmed and Kim looked down at her daughter, trying to placate her. "It's getting to you too," she whispered, though she said that with a smile. "That's your Uncle Steve, Jeannie." She said that with a bit of sadness. Stephanie had her father back, but Jeannie never would. Her father was a monster, and the man Kim would have given everything to be Jeannie's father could barely look at her without being reminded that she was not his.

Kim hugged Jeannie close and tried to fight back some tears of her own. She was happy for Kayla, but her happiness brought home how lonely Kim felt. She smiled and said, softly, "Shane can get Worthington to bring our stuff up to the rooms and I'm going to get Jeannie settled. We'll give you three some time alone"

She turned her gaze back toward where Shane had been standing, thinking maybe this would be a good time to talk, not as former lovers, but just as friends.

That part of the foyer was empty. Shane was gone.


	36. Chapter 35

Kayla watched as Kim left the room, leaving Steve and her alone with Stephanie. She looked on quietly as Steve held their daughter close to him, kissing her little face over and over again. Steve looked over at her, tears still in his eyes. "Do you think she remembers me at all?"

Kayla smiled softly and put her hand on his shoulder, looking at her daughter. "Do you remember when I asked you that same question after we found Stephanie in Australia?"

Steve nodded and Kayla continued, "You told me that I was her mama and that we had a special bond so of course Stephanie remembered me. Well, you're her papa and you two have a special bond as well. Maybe she doesn't have specific memories of you, but she knows you in her heart."

As if on cue, Stephanie looked into Steve's eye and gave her papa a big smile. "See, what did I tell you," Kayla said. Steve laughed and carried Stephanie into the sitting room and over to the couch and sat down. As she followed them into the sitting room, Kayla had the opportunity to really look at her husband. The shock of seeing him and touching him had kept her from noticing just how different he looked before now.

She could see now how thin he was and remembered how slowly he had made his way down the stairs, leaning on the handrail the entire way. Steve had always been one big ball of energy and emotion. That emotion was there, but the energy seemed drained away.

Steve looked up from Stephanie saying, "What are you doing clear over there, Sweetness? I don't want to be that far away from either of my girls for a long time." Kayla smiled and walked to the couch, taking a seat next to Steve. She softly brushed the hair from his forehead. Then she ran her hand down his arm, taking his hand in hers. She felt him flinch as her hand brushed across the inside of his wrist.

"What's wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

"Nothing," Steve replied, holding her hand more tightly and turning back to Stephanie.

"You're lying, Steve. I felt you flinch when I touched your wrist. Are you hurt?"

"It's just a little scratch, Sweetness. It's nothing for you to worry about."

Before Steve could react, Kayla unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt and pushed it up and away from his wrist. She gasped at the red, angry, not-yet-healed wound and at the series of small scars surrounding it. "You call that nothing?" she said, angrily. "What did they do to you?"

Steve slowly pulled his hand away and reached up and stroked Kayla's face. "It doesn't matter right now, Kayla. All I want to do is be here with you and Stephanie. We have plenty of time to talk about everything else later."

Kayla sighed. She could feel when Steve was hiding something from her, but now was not the time to push him. Instead she moved closer to him as his arm slid around her shoulder and she snuggled into his chest. She ran her hand across his chest and could feel his ribs poking through the thin shirt he wore. She felt the anger rise up again, but pushed it down.

"It feels like you could use some of Ma's chowder," she said in as light of a tone she could muster.

Steve chuckled, "Yeah, I sure could. Shane's got that butler dude on orders to keep bringing me food, but nothing he brings compares to your mama's chowder."

Kayla tensed suddenly. Shane. How could she have forgotten him? Had she even noticed when he left the room? Everything had changed the moment she saw Steve. She had never stopped loving him and sitting here with his arms around her, she felt whole for the first time since she had walked out of that hospital room so many months ago. Guilt washed over her as she realized that the whole time she was falling in love with Shane, Steve had been out there somewhere. How had she not known that - felt that? She pulled Steve closer as the tears overtook her.

"What's wrong, Sweetness?" Steve asked with concern.

"Nothing's wrong," she said, trying to force a smile through her tears. "I'm just a little overwhelmed I guess."

Steve smiled and softly kissed her forehead and settled back into the couch. Kayla held him close to her and tried to quiet those inner voices. She knew she had to tell Steve about her relationship with Shane, and she could only pray that he would understand. But she couldn't do it now. She just needed a little time to figure out how to tell him and to make him understand that whatever romantic feelings she had for Shane died the moment she saw Steve on the stairs. Steve had owned her heart - all of her heart - from the moment she fell in love with him. Now that he was back, her heart once again belonged entirely to him.

Kayla knew that there were difficult times ahead for them. But, for the moment, she put those thoughts aside and reveled in the feel of Steve's arms around her and the sounds of her daughter's laughter as Steve made funny faces. They were a family again and Kayla promised that nothing would ever tear them apart.


	37. Chapter 36

As Steve settled back into his bed, he felt exhausted but happy. He had spent the afternoon with Kayla and Stephanie, watching Stephanie play and, in a burst of energy he was now paying for, he had even gotten onto the floor and joined Stephanie and her toys for a little playtime.

Worthington had interrupted them only once with his tray of food. Steve had protested, but Kayla had insisted he eat and he had never been able to tell her no. Worthington had also delivered a file folder to Kayla, apparently on instructions from Shane. It only took Steve a moment to realize the file folder was his medical chart from the hospital in Cyprus. He had watched as Kayla read through his file and had seen the tears spring to her eyes as she read.

When she finally looked up, Steve had tried to lighten the mood, asking, "So am I going to live, Sweetness?" Kayla had not seen the humor in his comment and he had heard the fury in her voice as she talked about his malnutrition, the wounds on his wrists and ankles, the evidence of repeated rib fractures, and the blood tests that indicated he had suffered from numerous infections. Steve hated hearing the anger and fear in her voice as she realized the extent of his injuries and illnesses.

But that had not been the end of it. Reaching the end of the file, he had seen her eyes widen in surprise and then narrow in anger. "I don't believe it," she had said. "I just can't believe it."

"What don't you believe, Sweetness?" Steve had asked.

"The blood with the antibodies that fight Alamain's virus. It came from you," Kayla had replied with an edge to her voice.

"How do you know about that virus?"

"Shane funded a research lab in Salem to find a cure for the virus. I was the lab administrator for a while. More recently, I've been working with Carly Manning to develop the cure. The day that Shane called me to come here, we got a shipment of blood that was supposedly from the CDC. It had antibodies that indicated the person had been given the cure to the virus. Carly is working on reverse engineering that cure from those antibodies."

Steve had closed his eyes to fight off the memories of the terror and anger he had felt when the military doctors had strapped him down and sedated him in order to steal his blood. Maybe it had been worth it if it had helped Kayla find the cure.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm fine now. Hopefully that blood will help somebody else."

"Not just somebody else, Steve. Bo has the virus, and so does Miss Peach."

That news had come as a shock and had led to a long conversation about their family back home. Bo, Roman, her parents, his mother, and Jack and Adrienne. Kayla had tried to catch him up on everything. He had been shocked to hear his mother had killed Nick Correlli, but angry that she was now in Bayview after an insanity plea. He was happy to find out that Jack and Jennifer had finally married; Steve figured his little brother would never get his crap together enough to finally settle down. He was shocked to find out that Adrienne and Justin had moved to Texas with their boys. Everything Kayla told him was just a constant reminder of how life had moved on without him.

Under Kayla's gentle, but persistent urging, Steve had told her what he remembered of his rescue and the basics of his hospital stay. She had again tried to ask about his time in the compound and the other places he had been taken, but he had dodged the question with a kiss and a timely cry from Stephanie. She didn't need to know the details of what he had been through and he had no desire to relive them. He was back with his family and all he wanted was to forget that he had ever been away.

After settling down Stephanie, Kayla had insisted that Steve go up and rest. When he had protested, she had pointed to the sheet of doctor's instructions provided and told him that the doctors had specifically ordered that he get plenty of rest, have several small meals a day and avoid all strenuous activity for at least a month. Sighing, Steve had agreed, but only if she came with him. She had helped him up the stairs and to his room - no he corrected himself, it was their room. They found Kayla's and Stephanie's bags already in there, with a crib set up for Stephanie in an adjoining room.

Steve now eyed his wife as she returned from Stephanie's room. "Is Little Sweetness asleep?"

"For the moment," Kayla answered. "Playing with her papa must have really tired her out. It looks like it also tired her papa out."

"Maybe just a little," Steve replied with a smile. In truth, he was exhausted, but he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to miss another minute with Kayla and he knew that sleep would bring the nightmares again.

"Well, why don't you lie back and take a little nap," Kayla said, sitting on the bed beside him. "I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

"I've got a better idea. Why don't you snuggle in here beside me and take a little nap too."

Kayla smiled and took his hand. "That sounds wonderful, but I have a feeling that little girl in there isn't going down that easily, so I better stay where I can keep an eye on her."

Steve started to protest when his words caught in his throat. Looking down at Kayla's hand, he saw a ring, a ring with a large green stone on her finger where her wedding ring had once resided. He touched the ring with his thumb, wondering who had given it to her and what it might mean. He looked up at Kayla with his unasked question in his eyes.

Kayla's eyes were wide. With surprise? Fear? Guilt? He wasn't sure what to read in her expression. She seemed to struggle for words and then said, "It's just some costume jewelry I picked up. I . . . uh . . . took my wedding ring off a few months ago. I thought you were gone and . . . I . . . just didn't know what else to do."

Steve's fear eased, but didn't leave him entirely. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something Kayla wasn't telling him, even though she was the most honest person he had ever known. A cry from the other room interrupted that thought. Kayla quickly jumped up and gave him a kiss. "I'll be back soon. Try to get some sleep." She gently touched his face and then left the room.

Steve couldn't fight his exhaustion any longer. He drifted off to sleep with her kiss still lingering on his lips and a nagging fear that there was something important that he didn't know.


	38. Chapter 37

Kim had wandered all over Donovan Manor trying to find where Shane had gone. She had checked the garden and the stables. She had even gone to the thatch of trees that Shane had once told her was his favorite place on the estate when he was a boy. There was no sign of him.

"Ah, Madame Brady." Kim turned to see Worthington had come out of the kitchen. "I understand that you were looking for Master Donovan. The gamekeeper reported that he just returned from a ride and is in the stables."

"Thank you, Worthington," Kim said. So she had probably missed Shane on her first trip to the stables. Without hesitating, she left the house and headed over there.

She found him inside, sitting on the ground and leaning against a bale of hay. He was obviously lost in thought, because he otherwise would have turned as soon as she entered.

"Shane?"

He looked up. "Oh, Kim. I didn't see you." He spoke lightly, casually, as if nothing was wrong.

"You're not fooling anyone," she said. "At least, you're not fooling me. I've known you too long."

He frowned slightly and stood up. He walked over to one of the stalls so his back was to her. "I don't have the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

Kim smiled softly. "Come on, Shane. Don't do this. Don't try to pretend you're not hurting."

"I'm not pretending," he insisted, as he began running a hand along the muzzle of one of the horses. He still did not look at her. "I'm happy. Happy for Kayla and Steve. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's them." His voice had trailed off at the end, and Kim could detect a brittle undertone.

"And what about you?" she asked.

"Me? I'm fine."

"You always do this," she marveled.

"Do what?"

"Try to pretend you're some superman and bury your emotions. I've seen it too many times." Kim shook her head. "I know it hurts. You don't have to pretend with me. Don't run away and act like you're fine."

"Who's running away?" He still did not face her.

"You are, Shane. Or were we supposed to not notice that you disappeared for three hours right after we arrived?"

Shane continued to pet the horse, which nickered in response. "I wasn't disappearing. I went on a ride. Magic here needed some exercise."

_God, Shane Donovan could be a complete pain in the ass_, Kim thought. "Of course. You had to exercise that horse even though your son just arrived and you haven't seen him in a week."

"Kim, what do you want from me?" Some of that icy reserve was beginning to crack.

She walked over to him. "For once in your life, Shane, I want you to be open and honest. Don't push everyone away and act like nothing's happened."

"I'm not pushing anyone away," Shane said, sounding exasperated. "I'm sorry if I'm not acting like you think I should under the circumstances, but, as I said, I'm happy for Kayla and Steve." She put a hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away and still refused to look at her. "What do think I should be doing? Crying? Acting angry? Trying to break them up?"

"Any of those responses would be natural."

"Then I'm not natural, okay?" Whatever emotion had been in Shane's voice had disappeared. Coolly and calmly, he spoke. "If I didn't want this, I could've aborted the mission. I wouldn't have risked my life to get Steve back if I didn't want them to be together - if I didn't want Kay to be happy."

The way he said that made Kim blanch. Despite the unemotional tone, she could see what was obvious - he still cared for Kayla. Those feelings did not just disappear overnight. "Maybe you could come inside and spend some time with Andrew. That might take your mind off Kayla."

He shook his head. "I don't need distractions, Kim. I'm perfectly fine."

_This is pointless_, she thought. _If he doesn't want my help, fine. _But she had to try one more thing. "Shane, if you want to talk, I'm here. We may not be together, but I like to think that we can still be friends. And as your friend, I hate to see you hurting. What you did for Steve and Kayla was incredible and I'm sorry that you've been hurt."

He spun around and finally faced her. "Look, Kim, the last thing I need - or want - is your pity."

Kim's sympathy was running out. "I don't pity you, Shane Donovan, but I do care about you. We were together too long for me just to stop caring about you."

"Oh, so that's it," he said, his voice rising. "You see this as an opening. Now that Kayla's out of the way, maybe you can get back in my bed. Or is that just because Lawrence Alamain isn't available to keep you occupied."

His words hit her like a slap in the face, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she fought them. Her entire body shook with pain and anger. _How dare he_? she thought.

It seemed to register with Shane what he had just said, and he sighed deeply. His voice lowered. "I'm sorry, Kim. I didn't mean that."

"Oh, yes you did," Kim said. "You just can't let anything go. Not Victor, not Cal, and, now, not Lawrence." _Fine_, she thought. _If he wants to do the cold act, I can do it too._ She clenched her jaw before she spoke again. "I assume there was some reason you wanted me to come here. It wasn't just to make Kayla jealous enough to come along, so why don't you tell me and we can get down to business."

"Kim," he said softly.

"No, _Captain_," she responded. "I'm here on the ISA's dime, so tell me what you want and I'll begin working."

Shane turned and she could see his shoulders shaking as he composed himself. When he turned back, he had a stony look that betrayed no emotion. "It's Steve," he said, evenly. "We know he was mistreated while he was missing, most likely by Lawrence's people. He was violent with the doctors that tried to treat him, and we suspect that he is suffering from-"

"Post-traumatic Stress Disorder?" Kim asked, knowing that was what he was going to say.

"Yes," Shane said. "Before he goes back to Salem, we need to know if he's a danger. To Kayla, to Stephanie, even to himself."

Kim had to wonder if Shane hoped that would be the case. Maybe if Steve was too unstable, he would scare Kayla away.

Shane continued. "He'll fight you on this. He won't want to admit anything."

"And here I was thinking I was the professional," Kim muttered. "You don't think I know that, _Dr._ Donovan?" When he said nothing more, she asked, "Anything else you want to add?"

"No," he said, quietly. "That's it."

"Fine. I'll get to work." Kim spun on her heels and stalked out of the stables. _To hell with Shane Donovan_, she thought, not for the first time. _To hell with him_. Yet she also wondered again why fate had cursed her by making her love the man.


	39. Chapter 38

Kayla watched Steve sleep and felt guilty again. She looked down at her hand, seeing the empty space where Shane's ring been. She had slipped it off as soon as she left the room to check on Stephanie. She could not tell if Steve suspected that she had been lying about the ring, but if she no longer had it on her hand, maybe he would just forget about it. She knew she had to tell Steve the truth - and sooner rather than later - but, first, there was something else she had to do. She had to find Shane and return his ring.

_And I have a few other choice things to say to Shane_ _Donovan_, she thought.

Leaving the bedroom, she headed downstairs. Reaching the first floor, she looked for someone, anyone, who could tell her where Shane was. She shook her head; there was only silence. The house was so massive that she did not even have a clue which way to go.

She chose straight ahead and soon found herself wandering a series of dark corridors lined with portraits, probably of generations of Donovans. With a sense of surprise, Kayla realized that it had only been a few hours earlier that she had been worried about the differences between her and Shane. That seemed ages ago. In an instant, her entire life had changed. No, that wasn't exactly right - in an instant, her entire life had returned.

Eventually, Kayla's wanderings led her to the kitchen that looked like something out of a movie set in the 1700s. It had old ovens that probably needed wood or coal for fire, pots and pans hanging from the ceiling, and long wooden counters that probably had seen decades, possibly centuries, of use. At one of the counters, Worthington was placing some food on a tray. He stopped as he looked at her.

"Madame Johnson, may I assist you?"

"No," she said. "Well, yes, I guess. I was looking for Shane."

"Ah, I believe Master Donovan was last seen in the stables." He pointed out a window to a building in the distance. "That's where they are."

Kayla found a door and stepped out into the warm summer day. Any other time, she might enjoy walking the grounds of Donovan Manor, but not now. She marched toward the building Worthington had pointed out and pushed open the door.

Shane was crouched next to Andrew, who was petting a reddish-brown pony. "And Jester here-" He stopped abruptly as he saw Kayla enter. He must have detected from the expression on her face that she intended to have a serious discussion, because he looked back at Andrew. "Hey, Sport, why don't you go outside for a few minutes? Aunt Kayla and I need to talk about something. When we're done, I'll show you how to put on the bridle and saddle, and then you can take Jester for a little ride. How does that sound?"

"Okay," Andrew said, and he ran past Kayla and out the door. She closed the door behind him, before turning back toward Shane.

"Hello, Kayla," he said politely. "I'm surprised to see you. I figured you would still be with Steve."

"How long did you know?" she demanded.

"Kay. . . ." Shane sounded hesitant.

That was not a good response. Her voice rose, "I said, how long did you know?"

Shane took a deep breath. "I found out the night before I left Salem," he said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kayla began to pace. "He's my husband for god's sake. How could you keep that a secret from me?"

Shane answered, "The mission was classified. I couldn't tell you."

"Don't tell me that, Shane Donovan." Kayla did not actually know where the anger was coming from, but it was there nonetheless. "You could have told me Steve was alive."

"And what if it turned out to be false?" he said. "All I had was a blurry photo of a man who looked like Steve."

"It didn't matter," she yelled. "If there was any chance, you should have told me."

Shane turned away and shook his head. "So you could have gone through what Kim did when Andrew was kidnapped? Gotten your hopes up only to see them crushed, only to feel like you lost him all over again?" He sighed, and kicked at something on the ground. "Does it even matter? You have Steve back. You can be happy again."

He had a point and Kayla was about to relent, but then something popped into her head. "You told Roman, didn't you? That's why you called him the other night and not me, isn't it?" Shane did not answer, but his silence confirmed her suspicion. "How could you? How could you tell my brother but not me?"

Shane shook his head. "You don't understand, Kay. It's not like I went to Roman to tell him about Steve. I needed him to know where I was going in case the ISA suppressed information about the operation - so that if I just disappeared, someone would know the truth and tell Andrew and Eve."

"I don't believe you," she said. "Besides, you could have told me after you knew it was Steve. When you called me and Kim, why didn't you say it then? Why the lies to get us to come here?"

"What was I going to say? 'Hi, Kay, your dead husband's alive and you need to get on the next flight to England?'"

Kayla nodded. "That would've been a good start."

"Fine," Shane said, slowly. "I should have said that. Does that make you happy? You can now go ahead and be mad at me so you don't have to feel guilty about moving on with your life."

"Guilt has nothing to do with it," she insisted. _Does it_? Was she trying to find reason to be angry with Shane so she didn't feel guilty?

"If that helps you be happy, so be it." Shane looked at her and, for the first time, she saw the pain in his eyes. "I only want you to be happy, Kay. That's all I ever wanted."

She began to soften. This had to be hard on him. She looked down, because she could not look into his eyes any more. "You just should have been honest with me, Shane. You should have told me he might be alive - that the only man who ever meant anything to me was alive."

There was a long silence, and Kayla looked up. Shane was standing there stiffly, his face an expressionless mask. She stared at him. _What happened? _He no longer seemed like the man who had cared about her, the man who had pushed her to love him. He was acting like the Shane of the summer before, the man who had gone to Alamainia with her and spouted off about his "objectives" when people he should have cared about were in danger. He was acting like the man she accused of having no feelings.

Kayla's mind ran back over the conversation and she realized what she had just said. _The only man who ever meant anything to me._ "Oh, god, Shane, I didn't mean it like that."

In a tone devoid of emotion, Shane said, "It's okay, Kayla. I understand."

"No, it's not okay." Kayla felt awash in guilt. Shane had only wanted to see her happy, and she had just told him that their relationship was meaningless. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said flatly. "Today seems to be the day for uncomfortable truths to come out."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

Shane just shook his head. "Never mind. I've got a son outside who's waiting to ride his new pony, so if you'll excuse me, Kayla, I'll take my leave." He reached for the rope attached to the pony, but she grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Shane, please." She searched her mind, trying to figure out how to make things better. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. What we had. . . . It was important to me. You made me feel loved again. You helped me live again when I didn't think I could possibly get through the pain. I can't just pretend-"

"Sweetness?" Steve's voice called out from outside the stable.

_Oh, god, Steve_, Kayla thought. _What did he hear_? Shane pulled his arm free of her hand just as the door opened and Steve walked in. Kayla wondered if the guilt was as evident on her face as she thought, but she smiled, stepped toward Steve, and put an arm around him.

"Um, Steve," she said. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be sleeping."


	40. Chapter 39

Just the effort of walking to the stables had Steve breathing heavily, but he tried to act like nothing was wrong as he looked from Shane to Kayla. Even though she was smiling, from the way Kayla was biting her lip, Steve could tell that she was nervous about something and he detected some tension between her and Shane.

"Um, Steve," she said after she put an arm around him. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be sleeping."

Steve gave Kayla a small smile. "And I thought you promised to be there when I woke up." When Kayla frowned guiltily and looked down, Steve said, "It's okay, Sweetness. Worthington woke me up with more food and when you weren't there, I came looking for you. Did I interrupt something here?"

"No, of course not," Kayla replied. "I just . . . um, needed to talk to Shane about something."

"It must have been important to bring you all the way out here." Steve hoped he could figure out what was going on.

"No, it wasn't that important, it was . . . um . . . just about . . ."

Shane interrupted. "What Kayla's trying to say is that she just read me the proverbial riot act for not revealing the ISA's suspicions that you might be alive. That is, for not revealing them before I left Salem."

"Oh, so that's what's going on." Steve was relieved. "Come on, Sweetness. I wasn't happy with Shane either when I was lying in that hospital bed waiting for him to tell you, but it doesn't matter now. I'm here and we're together - you, me, and Stephanie."

"Stephanie," Kayla said with a start. "Is somebody with her?"

Steve could have kicked himself. He had been so distracted looking for Kayla that he had forgotten about his daughter sleeping in the house. "No. I . . . wasn't thinking, and I just came looking for you."

"Well, we better get back before she wakes up in a strange place all alone." Kayla sounded slightly frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Kayla . . . I don't know what I was thinking. Actually, I guess I wasn't thinking at all."

Kayla took a deep breath and gave a soft smile. "It's okay. It's not like she can go anywhere and there are servants in the house. I just need to get back to her and make sure she's okay."

Steve knew that he was in no condition to hurry anywhere. The walk to the stables had been farther than he realized, and he had not built up enough strength to have any reserves.

Shane must have realized the situation because he suddenly spoke up. "Kayla, why don't you head back to the house? I'll help Steve back after he's had a chance to catch his breath."

Kayla looked from Steve to Shane and back again. Steve could tell she wasn't sure what she should do, so he grinned and said, "Go ahead, Sweetness. Donovan here and I'll be along shortly."

Kayla nodded, leaned up and kissed Steve on the cheek. She headed out the door without another word.

Steve turned back to Shane. "You don't have to wait for me. I'll sit for a few minutes and head back. I saw Andrew out there and he said he was waiting for you. Said something about a pony. Don't let me keep you."

"Nonsense, Steve. You're in no condition to be traipsing around the grounds on your own. I'll help you get back to the house when you're ready. Andrew can wait a few minutes."

Steve's felt his frustration building. He hated being treated like an invalid almost as much as he hated feeling like one. "I said I could handle it, _Master _Donovan." Steve could not contain his sarcasm. "If you really think I need a babysitter, then I'm sure you have some servant around here who can do the job."

"That may be the case, but I doubt you'd let them help." From Shane's tone, Steve could not tell if he was being sarcastic or completely serious. "So it looks like you're stuck with me."

Steve started to protest, but Shane took Steve's arm, put his own arm around Steve's waist, and began guiding him out of the stables. Steve wanted to pull away, but he had to admit that it would be easier to get back to the house with Shane's help. As they walked outside and saw Andrew, Shane pulled a piece of carrot out of his pocket, gave it to Andrew, and told him to feed it to the pony. "I'll be back in just a few minutes," Shane said.

After Andrew entered the stables, Shane and Steve began the trek back to the main house. Steve resented every step he had to take with Shane's assistance. Steve knew Shane was just helping out. Steve even knew he should be grateful. However, Steve vowed this was the last time he would ever need Shane Donovan's help to get anywhere.


	41. Chapter 40

Kim had spent the evening alternating between being furious at Shane for what he had said earlier and pretending everything was fine in front of Andrew and Jeannie. She had not seen Shane since the incident at the stables and suspected he was making a conscious effort to avoid her. At least he had spent some time with Andrew earlier.

Over dinner, Andrew had told her all about his new pony. Kim could not help but feel a little resentment at the way Shane spoiled Andrew. Here was Kim, barely able to make ends meet with her job at the Abuse Clinic, and Shane was pulling out ponies. How could she compete with that?

Trying to figure out a way to get her mind off Shane, Kim decided she would make a stab at doing what the ISA was paying her to do. Andrew was running around downstairs and Jeannie had just gone to sleep, so Kim made her way to Steve and Kayla's room. She knocked and waited for a response.

"Yeah, come in," Steve called from inside. Kim entered and saw him lying on top of the bed. She tried to pretend that it did not bother her when he grimaced at her. "If you're here for that mental mumbo jumbo, I'm not interested."

Kim had expected that, so she walked casually toward the bed. "It doesn't really matter to me," she said. "The ISA's paying me whether you get better or not." With a smile, she perched on the end of the bed. "I generally like to earn my pay, but if you don't want my help, so be it."

"What's this," Steve asked. "Some kind of reverse psychology?"

"Honesty."

Steve snorted. "Yeah, I buy that. The ISA's honest all of a sudden?"

"I said the ISA is paying me, not that I'm part of the ISA." Kim kept smiling softly. "There is a difference. I'd try to help even if I wasn't being paid."

"Yeah, well I'm fine. Nothing that some rest and some time with Kayla won't cure." Steve crossed his arms defiantly.

_Why is Steve so much like my brothers_? Kim asked herself. _And Shane_? They all thought they were super-strong and never needed help from anyone. "We both know that's not true, Steve. What you went through causes deep wounds. And those wounds don't heal themselves. The best you can do is help the wound heal and learn to live with the scars." She saw Steve's expression change, and could tell he was getting angry. "But . . . it's up to you to decide if you want to help those wounds heal or let them fester."

Steve had sat up and was glaring at her. "I'm going to tell you this once nicely and that's only because you're Kayla's sister; if you were anyone else, I'd throw you out of here. I don't need anyone messing with my mind. I'm going to be just fine. So take that ISA paycheck and go shopping in London or something."

Kim smiled placidly. "Okay, Steve," she said. "Just remember that if you change your mind, I'm here. All I want to do is help." She stood up and headed out of the room, thinking, _That actually went better than expected._


	42. Chapter 41

Kayla realized that she had not returned Shane's ring when she was getting ready for bed. It was in the pocket of her jeans as she undressed. Carefully, so that Steve did not see, she turned it over in her palm and looked at the emerald.

She had been forced to think fast when Steve noticed it earlier. It was just a bit of costume jewelry had been her explanation and Steve seemed to believe that. It had been so easy to dismiss earlier, just like she had so easily dismissed her relationship with Shane.

Had it only been earlier that day that she worried about Shane no longer loving her? And then, after everything he had done for her and Stephanie - not to mention Steve - she had told Shane he meant nothing to her. What had Kim once said about the ring? That it was Shane's way of "giving her his heart." Now Kayla was going to have to give it back and, no matter how many times Shane said he was happy for her, she was going to have to hurt him.

"Hey, baby, what's keeping you?" Steve's voice came the bed.

Kayla sighed and stuffed the ring back in her jeans pocket. Putting it anywhere else might raise more questions. She quickly pulled on a silk chemise and turned toward her husband. He was sitting up in the bed. In an instant, whatever thoughts she had about Shane disappeared.

_I'm going to sleep tonight next to the man I love more than life itself_, she thought. Something she never thought would ever happen again, yet here he was. Kayla crossed the room toward the bed.

Steve was watching her every move with a look she knew far too well. "I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful," he said. As she blushed, he added, "All that time, I was thinking of this moment."

"Remember, 'no strenuous activities' for a month," Kayla cautioned.

Steve grimaced. "Aw, what do doctors know anyway? Come here."

Kayla knew better. The doctors were right, and she had seen how Steve struggled even to walk to the stables and back earlier. She had seen him after Shane helped him back to the room and listened to him grumble about "Master Donovan" for nearly an hour.

At the same time, she wanted him so badly. It had been so long for both of them. She stepped toward the bed, where Steve was waiting for her.

"That's right, Sweetness. We've got a lot of time to make up for."

Kayla reached the bed and, still standing, stood next to where Steve was sitting. He reached up and touched her cheek, almost as if he was making sure she really was there. Then he slowly ran a finger over her lips. Such a simple act, but just his touch sent a wave of pleasure through her. Kayla sat on the edge of the bed, closer to Steve, and watched his face break into a wide grin.

"Do you remember our wedding night, baby? I can't believe it's been three years. And I can't believe you're here, baby. I just can't believe it."

"I'm here, Steve," she breathed, then leaned over and their lips touched. It was not like the soft kiss of earlier; it was a kiss full of pent-up desire, hard, almost bruising. When it finished, Kayla had to gasp for breath.

In the back of her mind, she remembered something about "strenuous activity," but it was quickly forgotten as Steve reached for the straps on her chemise and began to slide them down her shoulders. Despite the earlier kiss, he now moved slowly, tentatively, as if he was rediscovering her body. She melted into his touch as he ran his hands over her body.

"God, you're beautiful," Steve gasped. They kissed again and he came away breathing hard.

The doctors' instructions popped back into her head. Steve was weak. He needed time to recover. _But what did doctors really know_? Kayla thought, echoing Steve's earlier statement. His hands continued their ministrations and those thoughts disappeared. Kayla was his and she began to give in wholly to his passionate touch.

"Oh," she moaned as his lips traced their way down her neck. Her hands began their own exploration. His face, then his chest. She began sliding them down.

And stopped.

A baby's wail cut through the fog in her brain. Kayla pulled away. "Stephanie," she said, even as Steve groaned in obvious frustration. She leaned over and kissed him. "Wait here. It'll just be a few minutes."

Kayla ignored her own frustration. Stephanie came first. She pulled up her chemise and went into the adjoining room where Stephanie was standing and crying in her crib. "Had a bad dream?" she asked. Maybe. Maybe not. It might have just been waking up in a strange place. She remembered how Stephanie had struggled to adjust to Shane's house in Salem. Kayla lifted her daughter and held her until she stopped crying. She knew it would take more before Stephanie fell asleep. It was too bad that she did not bring Stephanie's music box with them; it was like magic and always seemed to put the baby to sleep right away.

_Shane gave Stephanie that music box_, Kayla reminded herself. She tried to set that thought and any other thoughts of Shane aside, as she focused on Stephanie. Eventually, the baby began to yawn and Kayla placed her back in the crib. Then she returned to the bedroom.

Steve was fast asleep.

Kayla walked over to the bed and looked down at him. She took in again how thin he was, and remembered the details of the medical report. Her eyes traveled to his wrists and the angry red marks there. She reached down and brushed some of his hair off his face. He did not respond to her touch at all, and she realizing that just that brief encounter had exhausted all of his strength.

She sighed. Steve needed time to recover. Desire or no, they had to wait until he was strong enough, and if that required enduring a month of frustration, Kayla would do it. She smiled down at her love. She and Steve would have a lifetime together. What was one month?


	43. Chapter 42

Was it day? Was it night? The blindfold made it impossible to tell and Steve could not remember how long he had been strapped down. He grunted as the needles pierced his skin over and over. Suddenly the strap across his chest loosened. He had to get away. He pushed the strap away and sat up, desperate to be rid of the pain.

"Steve!" He heard her voice calling his name. How was that possible?

"Steve! Wake up!" It was clearer now, like she was right beside him.

Steve woke with a start. He looked quickly around, seeing the dark wood walls and furniture of the bedroom in Donovan Manor. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he was not in the compound any more. He was safe.

"Steve, are you all right?" Her voice was softer now, and he could hear the concern and anguish in her voice.

"I'm fine," he said, avoiding her eyes. "It was just a little bad dream. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't be sorry. I just need to know that you are okay," Kayla said, leaning over to turn on the beside lamp.

"I said, I'm fine. Let's just go back to sleep." Steve still refused to meet her eyes.

"You're sweating, your heart is racing, and you're breathing like you just ran a marathon. That's hardly what I would call 'fine,'" Kayla said. She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek, turning his face towards hers and forcing him to meet her concerned gaze. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was just a little bad dream, Kayla. It's nothing to get all worked up about." Steve could not keep the frustration out of his voice. _Why couldn't she just let it go? No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to remember it. I just want it to go away._

Kayla ran her hand down his face and then brushed his hair off his forehead. "I read your medical file, Steve. I know that you had nightmares in the army hospital and you're obviously still having them. I'm worried about you."

Steve knew she would not drop the subject easily so he forced a smile and tried to sound cheerful. "I know you are, baby. But there is nothing to worry about. A few bad dreams aren't going to hurt me. I'm tougher than that ol' boogeyman."

Kayla sighed. Steve could see her eyes were still filled with concern and uncertainty. Steve took the opportunity to change the subject and leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss, then another. He leaned in a third time, but Kayla pulled away.

"I know what you are trying to do, Steve. But kissing me is not going to make all of this go away."

"I don't know about that, Sweetness. Kissing you always makes all the bad things go away," Steve said, leaning in again.

"You're incorrigible, you know that?" Kayla asked, her voice reflecting both love and a little exasperation.

"So you've told me many times," Steve answered with a grin. He leaned in yet again and this time she didn't pull away. Steve could feel Kayla respond and he deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to tangle with hers. Kayla's body relaxed against his and her arms slid around his neck pulling him closer. For a moment, he simply lost himself in the feel of her.

When they finally parted, he cupped her face in his hand and said, "Now that's the only thing I need to fix a bad dream. Well, one thing might be even better." He saw her eyes sparkle and the telltale blush creep up her cheeks.

"We'll save that for later," Kayla said, smiling now in return. She settled back down into the bed and snuggled up against him, her head lying on his chest. "For now, how about we just hold each other all night long?"

"That sounds like a dream come true," Steve said, settling in beside her, knowing that there would be little sleep for him the rest of the night.

He felt Kayla's breathing deepen and could tell she had fallen back to sleep. He thought about the kiss and remembered her promise of more to come later_. Not too much later if I have anything to say about it. _Steve thought to himself. Doctor's orders be damned; he was not going to wait a month to make love to his wife. He thought back to what had happened earlier in the night, or what had almost happened anyway. He had wanted nothing more than to make love to Kayla, but as much as he hated to admit it, he knew they needed to wait. He just needed a little time to get his strength back.

He also knew that when he was stronger and had more control of his life, the nightmares would go away. He didn't need to talk to Kim and he didn't need to worry Kayla. He could handle it on his own and that's exactly what he intended to do.


	44. Chapter 43

Shane stepped out of the communications room into the library, and rubbed his eyes. It had been a ridiculously long day, beginning with Andrew waking him at 6 a.m. to go on an early morning ride. He had then taken the boy to Oxford for the day, before returning home to the communications room for several hours of ISA meetings that had lasted past midnight.

The reports from Tarrington on the virus were encouraging. It sounded like Dr. Manning was making significant progress and a cure was only a day or two away. The ISA Chief then discussed some other business, including asking when Shane thought he would be available for a new assignment. There was some upcoming operation in Baghdad that Tarrington wanted Shane to head. Something about an Iraqi scientist.

_Just what I want to do_, he thought. _Head straight into a war zone._ But that was the job, wasn't it, and Shane had done enough operations in the Middle East that there was some logic behind the assignment.

Unfortunately, Shane had his hands full at the moment. As he walked toward the sitting room, he tried to think over the events of the past few days. Steve was refusing to work with Kim, and from the look of him, Steve was not doing all that well. Kayla also looked exhausted, and Shane suspected the nightmares Steve had in Cyprus were continuing in England.

Shane had reported none of that to Tarrington. It had only been three days since Steve had arrived at Donovan Manor, so there was still time. But some progress had to happen soon. If the ISA suspected that Steve was not recovering well, Tarrington might insist on transferring him to a secure treatment facility. Shane was not about to let that happen.

He owed that much to Kayla - even if she had essentially slapped him in the face the day she arrived. They had not discussed the matter since. For the most part, they had barely talked. Indeed, other than a few encounters with Steve or Kim in the same room, Shane and Kayla had not interacted at all.

Shane tried to convince himself that was simply because he had been busy with Andrew. This was, after all, Andrew's first time at Donovan Manor, and Shane wanted his son to grow up believing that this house was as much his home as any place in Salem or anywhere else he might live with Kim. This house would someday belong to him and Eve.

Eve. And then there was Eve. Shane had talked to her a day earlier and she had dropped a bombshell - she and Frankie were moving to Africa. He planned on seeing her during a brief stop in London on their way, but it was hard for Shane to lose his little girl. Okay, Eve was hardly little, but she would always be his little girl. He remembered telling that to Kayla when Eve was missing, but then tried to shove the thought aside. It was too painful to think about that right now. That trip to the mountains had been such a turning point for Kayla and him; that was when they had first opened up to one another.

Nearing the stairs, Shane saw something move by the entrance to the sitting room. His instincts took over just as something came flying at him. Shane jumped to his left and heard a loud crash as the object smashed against into a wall. Back where the object came from, he saw the figure of a man in the shadows. Shane started to yell at it, but another object flew at him, forcing him to dive to the floor.

Jumping to his feet, Shane ran forward and tackled the man. Slamming shoulder-first into the man's midsection, Shane heard a loud grunt and they both hit the floor. The man continued to struggle and Shane felt something hard glance off his shoulder. There was another crash as the object shattered. In the darkness, Shane could not see the man's arms. However, Shane was stronger and managed to grab hold of them and pin the man to the ground. Then he turned the man over, and holding one arm in a lock behind the back, Shane pulled the man from the floor. He dragged the still-struggling man toward a lamp, but it was not where it was supposed to be. Shane then pulled the man into the foyer and found a light switch.

_Damn!_ It was Steve. Shane spun him around so they were face-to-face, with Steve pinned against the wall. "Steve, what the blazes are you doing?"

Steve blinked a couple of times in the light. "Shane? What are you doing? I thought I heard intruders."

"There are no intruders." Shane tried to get Steve to focus on him. "You just heard me." Then something dawned on Shane. There was no way Steve could have heard him walking out of the communications room from his room upstairs. Shane asked, "Steve, how long have you been down here?"

Steve shook his head. "Not sure."

"There's no reason to worry," Shane said. "The house is safe. There are no intruders."

"No," Steve protested. "I've got to protect Kayla and Stephanie from those bastards. I know they're out there."

"So you've been down here all night? Standing guard?" Shane was beginning to understand. Steve nodded, confirming Shane's suspicions. Shane sighed and was about to speak when he heard Kayla's voice behind him.

"Shane! What are you doing to him?" she demanded to know.

"Kayla, just calm down," he said, realizing that he was still pressing Steve against the wall. Shane stepped back and let go.. "Steve was standing guard down here and mistook me for an intruder. But I think we're okay now, right Steve?"

"Standing guard?" Kayla asked in a voice that showed her confusion.

"Kay, let me handle this." Shane did not even realize Kim was with Kayla until she spoke. Kim walked over to them and looked at Steve.

"Steven." Kim spoke softly, the way she often spoke to abused children that she counseled. "Steven, I know you are worried, but the house is secure and everybody is safe. See, Kayla's right over there." She pointed at Kayla and Steve's head turned to follow where she was pointing. "You can go back upstairs now."

"You don't have to talk to me like I'm a child, Kim," Steve said, bitterly. "I'm just making sure everyone's safe."

"You're tired. You've been down here all night. Go back upstairs with Kay and Shane will keep watch the rest of the night, won't you?" She said the last part to Shane as she nodded at him.

"Uh. . . . yeah, of course," Shane said. _What the hell was going on_? "Keep watch. Sure. I'm . . . uh, ready, willing and able."

"Okay," Kim said. "So you can go with Kayla, Steve. She'll go with you upstairs and you can go to sleep. Everyone in the house will be safe."

Steve stepped toward Kayla. She put an arm around him and helped him toward the stairs. As they slowly began climbing them, Shane stepped over to Kim and whispered, "Would you kindly tell me what the blazes is going on?"

Kim never took her eyes off the pair climbing the stairs, but she whispered, "Once they're gone, I'll tell you."

Finally, Steve and Kayla were out of sight. Shane spun toward Kim. "What the devil was that?"

Kim raised her hands and walked toward the sitting room. Shane looked around the foyer, where he spotted the remnants of the missing lamp and some shards of porcelain. He picked up the porcelain and studied it. "This vase was a wedding gift to my parents from my great-grandparents. It's been in my family since the 18th century." He sighed. Kim wouldn't care. To her it was just an object. It wouldn't matter to her that one of Shane's ancestors had carried the vase back from China on one of the first Royal Navy expeditions to the country. With another sigh, he followed Kim into the sitting room. "So you want to explain?"

"It's called hypervigilance," Kim said. "It's what psychiatrists would call an 'aroused state.' When it occurs, the person is agitated and is on guard for perceived threats."

Shane remembered the way Steve had acted in the helicopter when they left Egypt, the way he kept looking around like he expected to be attacked. "So what does that mean going forward?"

"Well, it's one of the diagnostic factors for PTSD."

Shane probably did not want to know, but he asked anyway. "Diagnostic factors?"

"PTSD isn't something that has 'symptoms,'" Kim explained. "It's a term that is used to describe someone who exhibits a series of different symptoms. There are various categories of behaviors and experiences, and if a person manifests at least one factor in each category, we call it PTSD."

"And Steve has manifested these factors?" Shane asked.

"Pretty much." Kim seemed to be thinking aloud. "He experienced a traumatic event or abuse. From the way he responded to the doctors at your base, he seems to react with fear when confronted by reminders of the trauma. His nightmares and unwilling to discuss or remind himself about what happened satisfy two categories, and the hypervigilance you observed tonight fits the final category. That's not to say he might not show other behaviors that we haven't seen yet."

"Like?" Shane doubted he wanted to know.

She began to list various things. "Angry outbursts or dissociative states where he reenacts the traumatic event - what we would call flashbacks. Those are the most dangerous to others. To himself, he might withdraw emotionally from people or might not do things he used to do. I mean activities he used to enjoy." She shrugged. "It's a long list of things."

"Okay, so what do we do now?" Shane asked.

"Well, I'm going to keep trying to get Steve to talk with me. That's the best therapy for PTSD we have now. As for you-"

"Me?" Shane was surprised. She was the expert.

"Yes, you. You have a night of 'guard duty' ahead of yourself." Kim smirked slightly.

"Wait a minute," Shane protested. "I thought we just said that to get Steve upstairs."

"We did," Kim said. "But what happens if he comes back down and doesn't find you here? Not only would he believe his imaginary threats are real, but he would lose trust in us for deceiving him."

"Great." Shane looked up at the ceiling in frustration. "This is just great."

Kim giggled. "Look on the bright side. It's only five hours until morning."


	45. Chapter 44

Carrying Jeannie in her arms, Kim walked into the kitchen. Kayla was already there, feeding Stephanie who was seated in a high-chair.

"Good morning," Kim said.

Kayla turned, stopping with a spoon about two inches from Stephanie's mouth. "Hey, Kim."

_She looks exhausted_, Kim thought, as she studied the dark bags under Kayla's eyes. Walking over, Kim took a seat next to an old wooden table. "Did you get any sleep?" she asked her sister.

"Is it that obvious?" Kayla said.

"Yes. I'm sorry." Kim looked toward the corridor to make sure there was no sign of Steve. "More nightmares?"

Kayla nodded. "It's either nightmares or he's up pacing all night, 'standing guard.'" She looked worried. "He gets the nightmares even when he naps during the day, and I know it's eating away at him, but I don't know what to do."

Kim understood. She had used some of the time since she arrived to talk with PTSD specialists back in the U.S., and they had warned her of the strain the disorder placed on the families. "We have to get Steve to talk about what happened. The more he talks, the more he will be able to deal with the memories so they aren't so disabling. The key is to desensitize him."

"That's all he needs?" Kayla asked.

"I don't know." Kim was trying to be honest. She paused as Jeannie squirmed and lifted her daughter so that she was more solidly in Kim's lap. "It's possible that will be enough. There are some other possibilities. One of the doctors I talked with mentioned a new therapy that looks promising for this kind of trauma. It uses eye movements in a way that mimic memory. As I understand it, the patient revisits the traumatic event while the eyes are stimulated in a way that desensitizes him. I don't know the details; that would require a specialist."

Kayla looked dubious. "That sounds crazy."

"Maybe," Kim said. "But there is some theoretical basis for it. In any event, it doesn't matter if Steve isn't receptive to treatment."

With a deep sigh, Kayla looked down at the plate of baby food. "I know - and I know you've tried. He can just be so stubborn. He thinks he's weak if he needs help."

"Of course he won't. Steve's just like Bo, Roman, Shane, and every other man we know." Kim reached over and touched her sister's hand."You have to convince him. This isn't going to get better without help."

Kayla sat still for a few moments, before she let out a deep breath. "I'll try."

Kim decided to change the subject. "Speaking of Shane. . . . Have you told Steve?"

Looking down again, Kayla said, "I know I have to, but it's so hard. You know Steve's going to be upset, and he's already been through so much."

"But he's going to find out eventually," Kim pointed out. "You're better off getting it out of the way."

"I know." Kayla scooped up some more food and fed it to Stephanie. "I wanted to let Shane know first, just in case Steve does something crazy, but-"

"But Shane's been _persona non grata_ since the other night." Kim understood. Shane had taken Andrew to London the day after the incident with Steve in the foyer and then had gone on a ride and picnic with the boy yesterday. And other than the time spent with Andrew, Shane had been spending most of his remaining time in the communications room. Kim knew she should be pleased that Shane was spending so much time with Andrew, but she also had the clear impression that he was trying to avoid dealing with the situation with Kayla. Looking back at her sister, Kim saw that Kayla had pulled out Shane's ring and was looking at it.

"I have to return this," Kayla said. "But if I can't even get a minute alone with Shane, how can I? Hey, what if I give it to you and you can give it back?"

Kim gave her sister a knowing look. _Kayla will know what I'm thinking._

"Yeah, I guess that's not really fair." Kayla studied the ring for another few seconds and then returned it to her pocket. "I've got to do it. I just hate the idea of hurting him."

"Shane's a big boy," Kim said. "Besides, he'll pretend that everything's fine to make it easy for you."

Kayla finished the feeding, and slid the plate away from Stephanie. She picked up a towel and wiped the baby's face clean. "Of course, he will. What is it with these men that they feel they need to spare us from their real feelings? I swear they could be bleeding from a hundred wounds, barely able to stand, and they would still claim everything is fine."

Kim laughed at the image. _That's so true_.

Standing, Kayla lifted Stephanie out of the high-chair. "Has Shane told you anything about how the ISA rescued Steve?" When Kim shook her head, Kayla said, "See, even that's a mystery. Why won't they just tell us so we can know what they're dealing with?"

"I don't know. Shane said that the mission had to be a secret, so maybe not telling us is part of that secrecy?"

"Well screw the ISA and their secrecy," Kayla muttered. "I want to know where my husband was and how they found him. And I want to know what it took to free him." She started toward the door and said, "Sometimes I wish we'd never heard of the ISA and it never came into our lives at all."

Kim watched Kayla leave as she thought of what her sister had just said. If not for the ISA being in Kim's life, she would have never met Shane or had Andrew, and they had been two of the greatest joys of her life. Just as she could not fully regret her relationship with Cal Winters because it resulted in Jeannie, she could not regret a single minute of her life with Shane. Kim hugged Jeannie close and whispered, "Sorry, Kay, I just can't agree."


	46. Chapter 45

Kayla stepped into the sitting room and located the phone on the desk. She had left Stephanie and Steve playing outside with Kim and her kids. Kayla had wanted to call Salem and get an update on Carly's work on the antidote to the virus and to find out if anybody had seen Bo. She knew that if Bo had not turned up, she was going to have to enlist Shane's help in tracking him down. Shane was not going to be happy to find out she had withheld information from him about Bo, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it. _It's not like he's all that happy with you now, anyway_.

Kayla dialed the number for the lab and listened to the phone ring. After several moments, the call was finally answered as the voice on the other end said, "University Hospital Immunology Lab."

"Carly? It's Kayla."

"Oh. Hello Kayla." Carly's tone was cold and distant.

"I was just calling to see how the work on the antidote was coming," Kayla said, confused by Carly's tone.

"It's coming along fine." The coldness was still there.

"Good . . . uh . . . good." Maybe she's just upset at being interrupted. " Umm . . . have you happened to see Bo recently?"

"As a matter of fact, I have. He's a patient at the hospital right now. It turns out he has the virus, but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that would you?" Carly's coldness had turned to anger.

_Well, that explains her tone. _Kayla brushed her hand through her hair, wondering how she could answer that question. "Look, Carly, I can't really explain anything right now, but I'm glad that Bo is home and that you'll have the antidote soon."

"You don't need to explain anything to me, Kayla," Carly said, her voice cold again. "But I would suggest that you call Dr. Curtis. I think he wants some explanations."

_Great_. Kayla knew that her switching her blood for Bo's had been discovered. "I'll do that. Look Carly, I get that you are upset with me, but please take care of Bo. He needs you right now."

Carly's voice softened slightly, "Don't worry, Kayla. I'll make sure Bo is okay."

"Thanks, Carly. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Kayla."

After she hung up the phone, Kayla considered delaying the call to Neil. It was not like she could rush back to Salem to deal with any of this now anyway. But she knew that putting it off was just delaying the inevitable. She had known the potential consequences when she had made the switch, but she had been so afraid that Bo would simply disappear if he thought Carly and his family knew he had that damn virus.

Sighing, she picked up the phone and dialed the hospital. Reaching the switchboard, she asked for the Chief of Staff and was connected through. After a short wait, she heard the familiar voice on the line.

"Kayla? Is that you?"

"Hi Neil. Umm, I just talked to Carly a few minutes ago and she suggested that I call you." Kayla braced herself for what was coming.

"I'm glad you called, Kayla." Neil's tone was professional, but friendly. "It appears that there were some irregularities with a blood test that Bo had done a few weeks ago. The preliminary investigation indicates that Bo's blood sample may have been switched with someone else's. Additionally testing indicates that the person who's blood replaced Bo's was yours."

"Look Neil, I can explain everything . . . just not right now." Kayla said, knowing Neil was not going to like that.

"Wait a minute, Kayla. Are you telling me this is true?" Neil said, the surprise clear in his voice.

"It's a long story, Neil. As soon as I get back to Salem, I promise I'll explain the whole thing." There was no way Kayla was going to go into the whole story over the phone.

There was a pause on the other end. Finally, Neil said, "Okay, when do you expect to return? We need to address this issue immediately."

If Neil did not like her earlier dodge, he really was not going to like what she was about to say next. "I'm not sure when I'll be back, Neil. It might be a few weeks."

"A few weeks!" Neil exclaimed. "I don't think you understand how serious this is. There is going to be a full investigation and board hearing. Your license could be suspended. I would think you might want to be here for that."

"I do understand that, but I just can't come home right now. I'm sorry. Is there any way you could delay the hearing until I get back? Tell the board you've suspended me pending that hearing. It's not like I would be working anyway." Kayla held her breath waiting for Neil's response.

There was another long pause on the other end. Kayla heard Neil sigh and then say, "All right, Kayla. I'll delay the board until you get back. But I have to tell you that your absence is not going to weigh in your favor. These are serious charges and you need to be prepared for what might happen."

"I know," Kayla said sincerely. "I'll face the board and the findings from the investigation when I get back. Thank you for delaying things until then."

"Don't thank me, Kayla. Just take care of whatever is so important in England and get back here soon."

They said their goodbyes, Kayla hung up the phone, and slumped against the desk. _Could my life possibly get any crazier_? Steve was back and she was as happy as she had ever been. But she still had not told him about Shane, Steve was battling demons she could not seem to help him with, and, now, she had probably lost her job. She would just have to deal with that last one when they went home. There was nothing she could do about it now and there was no reason to tell anybody else about her pending suspension. Steve was back and he needed peace and security so he could heal. They would deal with the job issue when it was time to return to Salem.

With that thought, she got up from the desk and headed out to rejoin her family. Steve and Stephanie were all that mattered right now. They had this time together and she was going to make the most of it.


	47. Chapter 46

Kim stepped out into the bright sunshine of a warm English afternoon. Andrew was off on another ride with Shane and Jeannie was napping peacefully with Stephanie. Kim had convinced Kayla to use the downtime to take a nap herself, knowing that the restless nights were taking a toll. First mission accomplished, Kim thought to herself. Now, to the second.

Kayla had mentioned that Steve had decided to take a short walk outside and Kim now set out to find him. She knew that getting Steve to open up to her about what had happened to him while he was gone was going to be an uphill battle. _Uphill battle, huh? More like climbing Mt. Everest_, she thought with a small chuckle. Yet Kim also knew that the key was not to stop trying. It was a fine line to walk. If she pushed too hard, his resentment would build. If she stopped trying at all, then he would never start talking. Well, that was why she had the job. She had to figure out how to walk that line.

As she neared the pond on the estate grounds, she spotted Steve sitting on a small bench, overlooking the water. She studied him as she approached. Even in the few days that he had been there, she could see that he had regained some weight. His cheeks no longer looked so hollow. His clothes no longer hung quite so loosely. He still didn't look quite like the old Steve, but any improvement was a good thing.

What hadn't improved was the exhausted look on his face. The dark spot under his eye was still there, and the way he slumped on the bench showed that he was still nowhere near full strength. Kim knew there was a vicious cycle at work. As long as the nightmares continued, he could not sleep. And without sleep, his body could not recover.

"Steven," Kim called out softly, not wanting to startle him. Steve's head jerked up and swiveled around, looking more like a man fearing an attack than a greeting from a friend. When his eye found Kim, he relaxed and settled back into the bench.

"Hey, Kim. What are you doing way out here?" Steve asked, not bothering to conceal the suspicion in his voice.

"Looking for you, actually." Kim figured honesty was the only way she might make some headway with Steve. He knew why Shane had asked her to come, so pretending this was a coincidence would go nowhere with him.

Kim reached the bench and took a seat beside Steve. "So . . . how are you feeling today?" she asked.

She could see Steve rolling his eye at the question and braced herself for a dose of sarcasm. Steve did not disappoint her, as he said "Well, Shane thinks I'm crazy, my wife thinks I need to do nothing but sleep and eat, and you apparently think I can't go for a walk by myself. So maybe you should tell me how I'm feeling."

"Well, by that response, I'm guessing your feeling a little grumpy," Kim replied, refusing to react to his irritation. "Luckily for you, I'm immune to grumpiness on sunny summer afternoons."

"Yeah, lucky for me," Steve said under his breath.

Knowing she was not going to get anywhere with the indirect approach, Kim decided to just lay it all out there for him. "Steve, we both know why Shane brought me here and we both know that his concerns are justified. You're staying up half the night because you're afraid somebody's coming after you and your family. And when you do sleep, you have nightmares. The doctors said that the most important medicine for you is rest, but you're not getting any. I can tell how much you hate feeling weak, but it's going to take you a lot longer to get your strength back this way."

Steve was silent for a moment, then said, "I'm not crazy, Kim. Maybe I went overboard the other night when I threw that stuff at Shane, but I'm not crazy." He paused, then continued, "Once I get some strength back, and get used to being out of that hellhole, the nightmares will stop and I'll be able to protect my family. I just need a little time and I'll be fine."

"Of course you're not crazy, Steve. Nobody thinks that. But this isn't going to just go away. You may not want to talk about it, but it's obvious you've been through a traumatic ordeal. That type of thing just isn't something you can forget. Trust me, I know."

"I don't see how talking about it's going to help either. What do you want me to say? I was taken away from my family for nine months and the entire time was hell. There, I talked about it. Can we move on now?"

Kim could hear the anger and frustration building in his voice. "No," she said evenly. "We can't move on now. You haven't talked about anything and you know it."

"Okay, you want to talk, then how about you talk to me. You want to know what my life was like for those nine months? Well, Kayla and Stephanie are my life, and I'd like to know what their life was like."

"I think that's a subject for Kayla, not me," Kim answered, a bit surprised at his question.

"Maybe so, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about it very much. She just keeps telling me that she missed me and doesn't want to think about the time I was gone anymore," Steve said, the concern in his voice evident. "So . . . maybe you can tell me what she doesn't want to talk about."

"I, uh, wasn't really around for a lot of it, Steve," Kim said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "I talked to Kay on the phone quite a bit and I could tell how sad she was and how much she missed you, but I don't really know what was going in her life after you, umm, left."

"So, what you're really saying is you won't talk to me, either. Fine. I won't ask you any more questions." Steve said harshly. He got up from the bench and looked down at Kim. "But don't expect me to answer your questions either," he said. Then he turned and headed back towards the house without another word.

Kim contemplated following him, but decided it was probably a bad idea. Steve might think he had avoided telling her anything, but Kim felt that the conversation had been another small step forward. The end of the conversation concerned her though. Not because of Steve's anger; she could deal with that. No, it was because he could tell she was hiding something from him and as long as he felt that way, he would never trust her enough to really open up. She hoped Kayla would find a way to tell Steve the truth soon. Every day that went by with that secret being kept was only going to make things worse in the end. Kim sighed. She had certainly learned that lesson about keeping secrets over the years. She only hoped Kayla didn't have to learn those same lessons.


	48. Chapter 47

After he hung up the receiver in the communications room, Shane let out a breath he did not even know he was holding. They had a cure. Peachy was going to be fine and, to Shane's shock, so would Bo. It was so like his pigheaded friend to hide the fact he was sick with a deadly virus. _Well, what's done is done_, Shane thought. Bo was safe now. Now Shane just had to share the news to the others.

He found them all on the patio outside, enjoying the early evening weather. Andrew was running around on the lawn, Steve was reclining on a chaise, and Kim and Kayla were playing with the babies. Shane smiled as he saw Stephanie taking some wobbly steps. He remembered the first time she walked, and how he had shared that moment with Kayla.

_Stephanie has a father now_, he reminded himself with a sigh. She had filled such a void in his life, and now he had that empty feeling once more. Trying to ignore it, Shane stepped outside.

Steve spotted him first. "Well if it isn't _Master _Donovan deigning to visit the peons."

Shane ignored the sarcasm. He figured Steve was just embarrassed after his little antique-throwing fit the other night, and sarcasm was just his way of coping. Kim and Kayla had turned toward him, so he figured he would break the news.

"I just got some news from Dr. Manning," he said. "She has the cure."

"That's wonderful!" Kim exclaimed, as she grabbed Kayla in a hug. They both jumped up and ran over to Shane. First Kim, and then Kayla embraced him. He tensed slightly when Kayla's arms wrapped around him and quickly pulled away.

"So, dude, everyone's gonna be okay?" Steve asked.

Shane nodded. "Dr. Manning said that Peachy's recovering nicely and-"

"What about Bo? Is he okay?" Kim asked, cutting him off. Kim gave Kayla a worried look.

Shane looked from Kim to Kayla and saw a similarly expectant look on her face. "Bo's fine," he said, but then it hit him. "Are you saying you knew? That you knew Bo was sick? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kayla looked down at the ground, obviously uncomfortable.

"We couldn't," Kim said. "Bo made her promise."

"But she told you, didn't she?" Shane could feel his anger rising.

Kim nodded, sheepishly. "But only because I was going to testify against Lawrence. Kay told me so I would understand why I couldn't show him my true thoughts."

Shane felt his jaw drop. "So that's why you let him off?" he said angrily. "Lawrence would've gone to jail for years if you'd testified and said you heard him admit to the rape. Instead, he could be walking the streets in just a few months."

"And Bo might be dead," Kim shouted. "We did what we had to."

Shane slammed his hands together, and wheeled toward Kayla. "Weren't you the one who kept insisting that we had to be honest with one another? How could you keep this from me?"

Kayla turned ashen and looked out the corner of her eye at Steve.

"Hey!" Steve barked from where he was lying. "Don't talk to her like that."

Shane's anger had not diminished. "I'll talk to her any bloody way I like."

Kayla stepped toward him. "Look, Shane, why don't we go inside and I'll explain?"

"No, baby, you don't have to explain anything to _Master _Donovan. You're not one of his servants that he can order around and act all high and mighty to." Steve glared at Shane. "Besides, what's all this 'honest to each other' stuff anyway? You don't owe him anything."

Shane almost told him. He almost blurted out that they were supposed to love each other and be honest with one another, but Kayla grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry," she said, letting go of him. "We should've told you, but like Kim said, Bo made us promise. I was afraid he would run away if anyone knew. Keeping it secret at least let me keep some tabs on him."

Shane couldn't stay mad at her. Maybe she had her reasons. Still, he thought she could trust him with anything. But if he said anything more, it would probably raise Steve's suspicion, not that he wasn't giving them an odd look already.

"Fine," he said, with a sigh. "I just wish you'd have told me." He made a point of also looking at Kim. "Both of you."

"You don't need to know everything," Steve muttered. He said something else, but all Shane caught was "ISA."

Kim walked over and put a hand on his arm. "It's good news. You should be happy. Why don't you stay and spend some time with Andrew?"

_And have to sit and watch Kayla and Steve together? _"I'm sorry," Shane said, trying to come up with a reason to leave. "I have some things I need to do for Tarrington," he said. "And I need to follow-up on the virus and the immunology lab. Um, I just stepped out to give you the news."

That seemed to work. Kim pulled away, even if she had a disappointed look on her face. "Perhaps I'll see you at dinner," Shane said.

"A celebratory feast," Steve said. "Champagne and caviar for all." He was still looking at Kayla with a narrowed eye.

"Yeah . . . champagne and all that," Shane muttered, before he went back inside and returned to work.


	49. Chapter 48

"Careful, Andrew," Steve called out. "She's a lot smaller than you."

"Okay, Uncle Steve," Andrew replied, leading Stephanie by the hand to the blanket where the toys were spread out.

Steve smiled watching Stephanie play with Andrew. For a moment, all felt right with the world. He was lying on a blanket under a shady oak tree watching his daughter play with her cousin. His wife was inside helping Kim with something or other, and it was almost like he had never been gone. Steve's smile faded. But he had been gone and he was now convinced that Kayla, Kim, and Shane were all keeping something from him about that time.

Kayla did not want to talk about it and would only give vague answers, mostly insisting that she missed him terribly. She had no problems telling him all about everybody else's life in the last nine months, but hers seemed like it was shrouded in secrecy. At first, he thought it was just painful for her to talk about so he didn't push. After all, he understood better than anyone about not wanting to talk about things that hurt. But, with every passing day, he became more and more sure that there was much more to it.

His little talk with Kim by the pond a few days ago had only served to increase his suspicions. She had clearly been uncomfortable and dodged his questions. He could only think of one reason that Kayla and Kim would be avoiding his questions and his heart constricted just thinking about it. Had Kayla been dating someone? It was the only thing that made any sense. He thought again about that ring she had been wearing the day she arrived at Donovan Manor. She had said it was just costume jewelry, but something in her expression and her tone had made him wonder. It couldn't be anything else, Steve thought to himself. Kayla had never lied to him. She was the most honest person he knew.

Yet, even if that ring was only costume jewelry as she said, she was still keeping secrets that both Kim and Shane were helping her keep. Well, that was going to end tonight. When they went to bed, he would get her to tell him the whole story. As much as it hurt, he couldn't hold it against her if she had been seeing someone. She had thought he was dead. And whoever this guy was, he was clearly no longer in the picture. Kayla had been nothing but loving since Steve's return, and he could feel her passion for him every night as they grew closer and closer to finally reuniting as man and wife. The last few nights had been pure torture for both of them, with each wanting to be with the other. Thank God his strength was returning bit by bit. He didn't know how much longer he could sleep next to Kayla without giving in and ravishing her body, damn the consequences.

That was the answer, Steve decided. He would make Kayla tell him everything tonight, then he would make sure she knew it was okay, that he loved her and the fact that she might have gone on a few dates with some other guy changed nothing. Then he would take her in his arms and show her just how much he loved her.

A loud laugh from Stephanie invaded his thoughts. She was playing happily with a stuffed bunny while Andrew made pig noises with his stuffed pig, pretending to attack her. Steve got up from his spot and walked over to where the kids were playing. Sitting down next to them, he picked up a small truck and made "vroom, vroom" noises while driving it over other toys on the blanket. Andrew giggled and joined in, being sure to keep Stephanie entertained in the process.

"You're a good cousin, Andrew," Steve said, ruffling the boy's hair. "Stephanie loves to play with you."

"I like playing with her too," said Andrew. "We had lots of fun playing when her and Aunt Kayla lived at Daddy's house."

Steve's heart skipped a beat. Had he heard Andrew correctly? Kayla and Stephanie had lived at Shane's house? He thought back to the other night when Shane had told the news about the cure for the virus. Shane had been angry at Kayla for keeping Bo's condition a secret, saying something about how they were supposed to be honest with each other. That had seemed strange given that Shane and Kayla were nothing more than friends and extended family and, he supposed, work colleagues because of the lab. But if Kayla had lived in Shane's house, maybe that explained Shane's expectation of honesty. But when was this? Kim had been in LA until around Stephanie's birthday, according to what she had told him. Maybe Kim had stayed at Shane's house when she returned and Kayla had stayed with her for a while. It was a big house and Shane would certainly allow Kim to stay there with Andrew. _Yes, that had to be it_, Steve thought to himself.

"Was your Mommy there when Stephanie and Aunt Kayla lived at your Daddy's house?" Steve asked.

He heard a noise behind him and looked back to see Shane walking up just as Andrew answered.

"No. Mommy was in LA with Jeannie. It was just Daddy, Aunt Kayla, Stephanie and Eve. Mommy let me visit last Christmas."

Suddenly, Steve flashed to the picture Shane had given him of Andrew, Eve and Stephanie. He looked up at Shane, anger and jealousy flowing through his veins. "Just what the hell was going on in that house of yours, Donovan?"


	50. Chapter 49

Shane caught the tail end of Andrew mentioning Christmas in Salem and then Steve looked up angrily and demanded to know, "Just what the hell was going on in that house of yours, Donovan?"

Shane had to think fast. He had no idea what Kayla had told Steve, though judging from his reaction, Shane suspected that she had said very little. Shane raised his hands trying to calm the man. "Steve, it's not what you think."

"Oh?" Steve rose to his feet. "Tell me what I think?"

"Over here," Shane said, motioning off to the side. He walked away from the children. If there was going to be an argument, better it take place away from the kids. Steve followed, and Shane noticed his fists were clenched. When they were a safe enough distance away from the kids, Shane turned back to Steve. "Look, after the explosion, we knew the Jencon people were looking for the evidence you left behind - the videotape of that meeting. And there was an incident-"

"What kind of 'incident'?" Steve said, his voice little more than a snarl.

Shane looked up for a moment. "Would you please just calm down? I promise, I'll explain."

That seemed to calm Steve slightly, but he was still glaring. "So explain."

"I will. Some men harassed Kayla." Shane thought better than mentioning she had been attacked. "And Roman and I thought she'd be safer if she was somewhere more secure than on her own. Stephanie, too."

"So that secure place was your house?" Steve sounded rather incredulous.

"Yes, it was," Shane said. "You may not have noticed it, but my house has top-grade ISA security. It's probably one of the most secure places in Salem. Besides, there was plenty of room for her and Stephanie, and Simmons and Eve were often around, so they weren't all alone."

"You're saying that's all there was to it?" Steve's eyes narrowed as he asked that question.

How did Shane answer that question? He did not want to reveal his relationship with Kayla until she was ready and she obviously had not done so already. Shane hated to lie, so he gave a truthful, albeit incomplete answer. "Steve, the reason Kayla and Stephanie moved into my house was for security reasons." There. That was not exactly a complete answer to the question, but it was true as to a certain time period.

Steve started to pace. "You mentioned the videotape. So that means you found it, right?"

"Yes. Kayla brought it with her to my house and I watched it, hoping to find some clue about what had led to your dea- I mean, your accident." Shane thought carefully about what he should disclose. "I had the ISA do a voiceprint analysis of the man on the speaker-phone, and it matched Lawrence Alamain."

"So we're back to this Alamain dude again?"

"That's right," Shane replied. "Lawrence Alamain, who, for lack of a better term, was the 'prince' of Alamainia, his then-father's country."

"'Then-father'?"

Shane tried to think of how he could explain the bizarre goings on in Alamaina in less than an hour. He decided against mentioning Lawrence Alamain's obsession with movie-style special effects, like the fake gunfire and manufactured earthquakes, and just tried to stick to the basics. He also decided not to mention how Carly Manning lured Bo to the country or how Jennifer Horton had posed as Katarina Von Leuschner because Lawrence had kidnapped Frankie and needed to marry "Katarina" to secure his power. "It's a long story, Steve. The short version is that several of us traveled to Alamainia for various reasons. I went because we wanted to find proof that Lawrence ordered your death, and we managed to infiltrate his house. However, Lawrence tried to kill us by collapsing a series of underground tunnels, but we managed to escape. Lawrence's father, however, was killed when one of the tunnels collapsed."

Steve ran his hands through his hair as if he was struggling to process what Shane had just said. "Did you find that proof?"

Shane shook his head. "Nothing we could use. Just a recording of Lawrence talking with the doctor who treated you at the hospital in Salem, but, as I told Kayla when we listened to it, the exchange made it sound like Lawrence was your friend so there was no point in bringing it back."

"As you told Kayla?" Steve asked. "Are you telling me that Kayla was with you in that dude's country?" His voice rose as he spoke.

There was no way around it, so Shane answered. "Yes. Kayla was with us. But she was never in serious danger." Okay, that probably qualified as a lie, but Shane decided he could live with it. "She had me, and Bo, and Jack for protection."

Steve stopped pacing and stepped within a few inches of Shane. In a low voice, he growled, "You let my wife go to the home of the dude that you thought killed me?"

"I had no choice, Steve," Shane said. "Kayla insisted on coming."

"You should've stopped her, Donovan. Or does that ISA training come with lessons in risking the lives of innocent women."

Shane was beginning to lose his cool, but he fought to remain calm. "Now listen to me, Steve. Kayla insisted on coming and helping with the operation. I tried to convince her to stay in Salem, but she refused. So what I was supposed to do? You know her. When was the last time you stopped Kayla from doing anything?"

As he finished, Shane heard a noise from the direction of the house. He turned and realized that Kayla had just come down from the house. _How much has she heard_?

Obviously, it was enough, because she asked, "Shane, Steve, what's going on?"


	51. Chapter 50

As Kayla approached Steve and Shane, she could tell they were in an intense discussion. She could see that Andrew and Stephanie were happily playing just a little ways away, but it appeared that neither Shane nor Steve were paying any attention to them. She quickened her pace, wanting to end whatever argument they might be having before the kids became aware of what was going on. She was just a few feet away when she heard Shane say, "When was the last time you stopped Kayla from doing anything?"

"Shane, Steve, what's going on?" Kayla asked, hoping that Shane had not said too much.

Steve quickly turned at the sound of her voice. Kayla could instantly tell that he was angry and upset about something and her stomach churned at the thought of what it might be.

"What's going on, Sweetness, is that I just found out that you've been holding out on me."

"What . . . what do you mean? What did Shane tell you?" Kayla worked to keep her voice steady.

Shane answered first. "What I told him is that you and Stephanie were living at my house after his dea - I mean, after his accident - in order to protect you from Alamain and that you and I traveled to Alamain's country when we learned he was responsible for what happened to Steve."

"Oh." Kayla was relieved that was all it was, but she knew that she could no longer keep the full truth from Steve. She would have to tell him soon, but she really needed to talk to Shane alone first.

"Oh? That's all you have to say. Why the hell didn't you tell me all of this yourself?" Steve asked, anger flashing in his eye.

Kayla looked again at Andrew and Stephanie and could see that Andrew had noticed what was going on. "Shane, could you take Andrew and Stephanie in the house? I believe that Worthington has their lunch ready."

Shane looked at her with concern in his eyes, but nodded. "Of course." Then he turned and walked over to Andrew and Stephanie. He picked up Stephanie with a smile. "Come on, Sweetheart, let's go get your lunch." He helped Andrew gather up the toys and blanket and headed off with Stephanie in his arms and Andrew beside him.

When they had gone, Steve turned back to Kayla and said, "So? Are you going to answer my questions now?"

Kayla took a deep breath, then took Steve's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I just didn't want to upset you."

Steve looked down at his hand in Kayla's. "You didn't want to upset me? I'm not a child or an invalid, Kayla. I'm your husband and I've been asking you for days about your life while I was gone. Why can't you just be honest with me?"

"I am . . . I will. I . . ." Kayla turned away as she felt the tears spring to her eyes. How could she explain the pain she felt when she lost him? How could she make him understand how lost she was without him and how going back to their house without him was just something she couldn't contemplate?

Kayla felt a hand on her shoulder as Steve gently turned her around to face him. He cupped her face in his hand and wiped a tear away. "Just talk to me, Sweetness. Just talk to me."

She took another deep breath. Maybe if she started at the beginning he would understand. "It's true that I moved into Shane's house after your funeral because it was safe, at least that was what I told myself. But the reality was that I couldn't bear the idea of living in our house alone. Everything there reminded me of you - of us. So when Shane offered to let us stay with him after I was attacked outside the house, I agreed."

Looking up into Steve's eye, she continued. "I was so angry after I thought you died. I think in some ways the anger was the only thing that kept me going, aside from Stephanie. When Shane figured out that the person behind Jencon was Lawrence Alamain, I knew I had to go with him. I owed it to you and to Stephanie to bring your killer to some kind of justice. Of course, it didn't quite work out that way."

"Yeah, Shane told me," he said. "I know you stayed at Shane's until Christmas. So when did you move back to the house?"

"I, uh, I didn't." Kayla answered, knowing that each question brought them closer to the ultimate truth.

"You didn't? You mean you are still living there?" Steve's voice rose with each word.

"No, we're not living there anymore. But I didn't move back to the house because I sold it." Kayla looked up at Steve waiting for his reaction.

"You sold the house?" Steve asked, the disappointment evident in his voice.

"I thought you were gone and I just couldn't face living in that big house alone. We used to talk about how we would fill up all of those rooms with children and love and laughter and after you were gone it just seemed like an empty dream. It . . . it wasn't my life anymore. So I sold it to Mickey and Maggie."

"Oh, baby. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. You'll never know how sorry I am." Steve's voice cracked with emotion. "I just wish you would've told me all of this earlier. I don't like feeling like you're keeping things from me. And I gotta tell you, baby, I still feel that way."

"I know," Kayla said. "I know I need to tell you everything, but not right now. Let's go back to the house and I can take care of a couple of things and make sure Stephanie is settled in, and then we'll go upstairs to our room and I'll tell you everything you want to know. I promise."

Kayla could tell Steve was not happy with the idea. Before he could protest, she took his hand again and looked into his eye. "Please, Steve. I know you don't want to wait, but I don't want any interruptions and if I make sure Stephanie is taken care of, we can have the afternoon to ourselves."

"All right, Kayla. I'll wait. For a little while."

"Thank you," Kayla said. Together they turned and walked back to the house. Kayla knew she needed to speak to Shane alone before she talked to Steve. She had to return Shane's ring and she wanted him to know that she was going to tell Steve the truth. He had the right to know before everything exploded. Kayla held no illusions that this would be easy or without consequences. But, walking beside Steve, she made the same vow she had made the afternoon he had returned to her life - they were a family again and she was not going to let anything tear her family apart. She would make Steve understand. No matter how long it took her, she would make him understand.


	52. Chapter 51

A/N: Reviews and comments are always welcome, so if you see anything in the story that you like or dislike, please provide feedback.

As Andrew looked glumly at the plate in front of him, Shane set Stephanie in her high chair. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's see what Worthington has for your lunch." He picked up the plate of food for her and carried it over to the chair.

"What is this?" Andrew asked as he poked at the food in front of him with his fork.

Shane laughed. "That, Sport, is a true British lunch. Shepherd's pie. And that recipe was from your Grandma Jeannie, my mum."

Andrew looked dubious. "It looks weird."

"Think of it as hamburger and mashed potatoes all mushed together," Shane said. That seemed to work. Andrew picked up a fork-full and, after close examination, took a bite and then another. Meanwhile, Shane turned to trying to feed Stephanie some chicken and vegetables without wearing half her meal.

"Ah, Master Donovan, I was looking for the children." Shane turned to see Mrs. Batson in the entryway to the kitchen. He wiped away some of the mashed carrot on his shirt and gratefully surrendered Stephanie's spoon to her.

"I'll let you take over from here," he said, then looked over to Andrew, who was shoveling shepherd's pie into his mouth. "Andrew, when you're done with lunch, why don't we go into the village? I bet we can find some people over on the cricket pitch and you can practice your bowling."

"Can we?" Andrew asked excitedly.

"Absolutely, Sport. I just have to go take care of something for work first." Shane wanted to be out of the kitchen when Kayla and Steve came in to get Stephanie, so he headed out of the kitchen toward the entrance of the communications room.

"Shane." He stopped when he heard Kayla's voice. She had turned down the hallway toward him. She had a very determined look on her face.

"Um . . . Kayla." He knew he sounded nervous. "Stephanie's in the kitchen with Mrs. Batson. I was just . . . um . . . heading to my study to do some work."

"Stop," she said. "You've been avoiding me. Steve's upstairs now, so he won't hear us. We need to talk."

"Do we?" he asked in an even tone. He had conquered his nerves and reminded himself that he was supposed to be making this easy for her. Calmly, he added, "I think you said everything you needed to say the other day."

Kayla shoved her hands into her jeans pockets and shifted from side to side, uncomfortably. She did not look at him. He knew she would probably try to apologize for her comment about Steve being the only man who meant anything to her, but Shane cut her off.

"You don't need to say anything more, Kay."

"Yes, I do," she said. She pulled her right hand out of her pocket and Shane saw the ring he had given her. The ring his father had given his mother. "I have to tell Steve the truth, but I wanted you to know first and . . . I wanted to return this."

Shane shook his head. "I gave that to you. It's yours." He pushed past her and headed down the hallway. _Don't say anything_, he told himself. _Don't let her see_. He could hear her footsteps behind him as he turned down the front corridor toward the foyer.

"Shane, don't walk away from me," Kayla said, her voice rising.

He spun around to face her. She still had the ring out and was holding it out to him. "I told you," he snapped, more harshly than he intended. "That's yours. Do what you want with it. Keep it for yourself, put it away for Stephanie, or just throw it away. I don't care."

"I know you're hurting," Kayla said. "I'm sorry."

Shane had managed to recover control of himself. "You've nothing to be sorry for. You don't think I knew the consequences of the operation."

"The operation?" Kayla said, incredulously. "How can you call it that? You're talking about bringing Steve back to me and Stephanie. And I know how hard it had to be for you to do that."

Shane took a deep breath. "If you think that, then you don't know me at all," he said, his tone even. "The decision to take the mission was easy. Steve's family."

"That's not what I mean and you know it." Kayla stepped close to him. "I know you loved me, Shane, and I loved you, but this. . . ." She held up the ring. "It's a symbol of something that can't happen. When you gave it to me, you said your father gave it to your mother on the day he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted a future with her. That's what this ring represents - the future - and we don't have one."

"It's still yours," Shane said. He was struggling again. That dam of emotion, the pain, was threatening to burst. "I gave it you because I loved you. That's how I felt - and how I felt can't be taken back." He looked down at the ring in her hand. "Neither can that."


	53. Chapter 52

After they returned to the house, Steve had left Kayla in the foyer and headed up the stairs to their room. Kayla had told him again that she would be up soon and they would talk about everything. Everything. As he walked down the hall to the bedroom, he couldn't help but wonder what that meant. As determined as he had been to get the full story out of Kayla earlier, he was now filled with uncertainty.

He entered the room and sat down on the bed. The news that Kayla had sold the house had been a shock. Although they had not talked about it, he had pictured returning to Salem and to their home many times. It had never occurred to him that Kayla would have sold it. That had been the plan before his accident, when they had planned their trip around the world, but he had just assumed that Kayla would have stayed in their house after he was gone.

He couldn't blame her for selling it though. Whatever secrets were being kept, there had been nothing but truth in her eyes when she told him how she couldn't go back to their house without him. What was it she had said? "It wasn't my life anymore." _What did your life become, Sweetness_? As much as he believed she loved him, he couldn't help feeling those old insecurities creeping up. What if the life she had built without him was the life she really wanted? What if she was here with him because she felt sorry for him or simply out of loyalty?

_Stop being an idiot, Johnson_, Steve told himself. He had seen the love in Kayla's eyes the moment she saw him on the stairs and he had seen it and felt it numerous times over the last week or so that they had been at Donovan Manor. _She loves you_. Yes, she loved him. But was there somebody else in her heart? That was the question he couldn't shake and the question that caused him to start pacing around the room.

He thought back to his conversation with Shane. He knew he should be grateful to Shane for making sure that Kayla and Stephanie were safe, but he hated that his family had been forced to rely on somebody else when protecting them was his job, his responsibility. Logically, Steve knew his resentment of Shane was unwarranted. The man had protected his family and then saved Steve's life and given him his life back. But Steve couldn't help how he felt. He owed everything to Shane, and he hated owing anything to anybody. The fact that Shane seemed to know more about Kayla's life than Steve did certainly didn't help matters.

Steve looked at the clock on the bedside table and realized it had been at least 15 minutes since he had left Kayla downstairs. The gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach increased. Had Kayla found another reason not to come talk to him? He knew he couldn't take the delay much longer. Did it really matter where they talked as long as they finally did? He knew he couldn't wait around any longer without going insane, so he headed for the door.

Steve had just reached the top of the stairway when he heard their voices. It was Shane and Kayla. He could see Shane standing just inside the foyer. He could not see Kayla, but he heard her voice.

"That's not what I mean and you know it," Steve heard her say, as she stepped into view, standing very close to Shane. "I know you loved me, Shane, and I loved you, but this. . . ." Steve's breath caught as Kayla held up a ring, the ring she had been wearing that first day.

"It's a symbol of something that can't happen. When you gave it to me, you said your father gave it to your mother on the day he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted a future with her. That's what this ring represents - the future - and we don't have one."

Steve felt the bile rise in his throat. He felt paralyzed as he watched the scene play out before him.

"It's still yours," he heard Shane say. "I gave it you because I loved you. That's how I felt - and how I felt can't be taken back." Steve watched as Shane looked down at the ring Kayla held in her hand. "Neither can that."

Steve willed himself to breathe. His mind flashed to all those moments that had felt wrong. The way Shane had avoided calling Kayla. The picture of Stephanie he carried. Kayla holding Shane's hand when she had first arrived. The ring. That damned ring. The tension he had felt when he had walked in on them in the stables. Kayla's evasiveness. Kim's evasiveness. Shane's angry comment about Kayla not being honest with him. Kayla living at Shane's house.

_How could I have been so stupid_? It all made sense now. He had been right; Kayla had been involved with somebody. But not just some stranger back in Salem. No, it was Shane. His friend. Kimberly's ex-husband. The dashing spy with all the money. Shane and Kayla had played Steve for a fool this whole time and he had let them.

_That ends now_. Steve started down the stairs towards his wife and his friend. "Well, well, well," he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm and anger. "What do we have here? And I thought that ring was just a piece of junk. Wasn't that what you said, Sweetness? You should have told me it was from loverboy over here."


	54. Chapter 53

"Well, well, well . . . . What do we have here? And I thought that ring was just a piece of junk. Wasn't that what you said, Sweetness? You should've told me it was from loverboy over here."

Shane bristled at Steve's sarcastic comment about his mother's ring, but Kayla reached out and grasped Shane's arm. She spoke first. "Steve, it's not what you think."

"No? Did I suddenly go deaf or didn't you just say you loved him?" Steve had reached the bottom of the stairs and glared at Shane. "I can't really blame you, Donovan. The Bradys are a nice family." He gave a sarcastic grin. "Did you at least wait for the dirt to settle on the coffin?"

"Steve," Shane said, as he stepped forward, but Kayla was still holding his arm. "Like Kayla said, it wasn't like that."

"Yeah, I really believe that." Steve's voice was rising. "All that BS about Kayla moving into your house for protection. What a crock. You just wanted her close, didn't you? Made it easier to get into her pants, right?"

"Steve!" Kayla cried out. "You're wrong. That's not how it was. It just kind of happened. . . ."

"Nothing 'kind of happens' with Double-0-Donovan here," Steve snapped. "Isn't that what the ISA teaches you? To always be prepared. To have plans for every contingency." He shook his head angrily. "And you, baby. . . . You fell for it."

Shane pulled his arm free and stepped between Steve and Kayla. He had no idea what Steve was going to do, but Shane did not want Kayla to get hurt. "Listen to me, Steve. You don't understand what happened."

"Oh, I understand!" Steve yelled. "I understand perfectly. Kim dumped your ass and you turned around and put the moves on my wife, you son-of-a-bitch. She was weak and hurting, and you put the moves on her." He looked past Shane at Kayla, and his voice dropped into a harsh growl. "So how was ol' Donovan in bed? Did he recite poetry while he-"

Shane had been pushed too far and cut Steve off. "That's enough, Steve," he cautioned. "Stop it now and listen. You don't have a clue what it was like for Kay after you died."

"No, I don't," Steve said, the sarcasm back in his voice. "But I think I've got a pretty good idea. The poor, suffering widow and her baby taken in by the rich guy with the big house and the fancy accent. I think I saw it in a movie - probably did pretty good at the box office." Steve circled them, like a predator circling its prey. "But this isn't a movie, Donovan. That's my wife."

Shane moved as well, keeping himself between Steve and Kayla. Steve was not about to calm down and listen to reason. Behind him, Kayla spoke again. Even though Shane could not see her, he could tell she was crying.

"Steve, please. Just listen to me. It's not like you think. You were dead, and I was hurting. Shane . . . Shane just helped me."

"Helped you?" Steve quirked an eyebrow. "Helped himself to you, more like it."

"Cut it out," Shane warned. "Either listen to Kay explain or get the hell out of here until you calm down. She'll tell you everything."

"'Kay'? Isn't that nice? He's got a nickname for you, Sweetness." Steve had moved slightly closer and Shane saw the punch coming well before it was thrown. Reaching back with his right hand, he pulled Kayla out of the way as he sidestepped Steve's wild swing.

"Steve!" Kayla yelled.

"Get back, Kayla," Shane said. He continued to block Steve's path to Kayla.

"Yeah, Kayla, listen to loverboy. I bet he's been giving you lots of orders the past year." Steve turned his attention back to Shane. "Good thing I don't have my knife or I'd cut your balls off." He threw another punch, but Shane ducked under it.

"Steve, I don't want to hurt you." Shane rose back up. "You're confused and emotional, and you're not thinking."

"Oh, that's right. The big ISA agent doesn't have emotions. He doesn't know what it's like to find out your wife's been screwing around." Steve swung again, but Shane stepped back and it missed.

"Don't you get it, Steve?" Shane made an effort to sound calm as he tried to explain. "Whatever happened is over. Kayla wants you."

"Don't play me for a fool, Donovan," Steve growled. He pulled back with his right hand and punched again. Again, Shane stepped out of the way.

"I don't want to hurt you," Shane repeated, though he doubted this could end this without anyone getting hurt.

"Please, Steve," Kayla begged. "Stop it and let me explain."

"I don't want explanations!" Steve roared. "It's all a bunch of words - meaningless words. And don't you know? Donovan here's a master at double-talk. Wasn't that the whole BS about her living at your house? I've heard enough lies already."

"I didn't lie," Shane said.

"No, but you just held back most of the truth, didn't you?" Steve's fists remained clenched.

"Please, Steve. Listen to us. Nobody lied to you," Kayla cried. "I was going to tell you. I just needed time to figure out how. Please . . . please stop."

Shane knew that was never going to happen. Steve was out of control and, as much as Shane did not want to hurt him, the only way Steve would stop is if he were unable to fight. Shane just needed to incapacitate him, ideally without causing any lasting damage. In his mind, he ran through several options, but none seemed particularly palatable. Then, as Shane watched, Steve lowered his head. _Giving up the punches now_, Shane thought, as Steve charged forward. With a sigh, Shane decided what to do.

He stepped to his left and swung his left fist into Steve's side as he rushed by - a perfect shot to the liver. Steve cried out in pain, grasped his side, and fell forward, just as Shane expected. What he did not anticipate was that Steve would land face first. He rolled over, exposing a red welt on his jaw and blood running from a cut lip. Kayla rushed past Shane and knelt down next to Steve. She cupped his face and then looked back at Shane.

"What did you do?" she cried out, angrily. "How could you hit him like that?" She did not say it out loud, but from her accusatory gaze, Shane knew she thought that Steve was too weak to pose any harm.

_Dammit_, Shane thought. He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair. He had tried not to hurt Steve, but that was exactly what he had done. Finally, Shane's own frustration came to a boil.

"Blast it, Steve!" he yelled. "Why can't you get it through your bloody head that what's past is past? If you heard anything, you heard Kay say she doesn't want me. I knew it was over the minute I took the mission. So what more do you want for me? What more can I give up for you? Don't you have every bloody thing you want? Or is a wife who loves you and a baby girl not enough?"

_You have everything_, Shane added silently. _Everything I want._

Kayla had turned back and was tending to Steve's wounds as he continued to writhe around on the floor in pain from Shane's punch. She looked back up, with an accusatory look in her eyes. _Dammit_, Shane thought again. All he had wanted to do was stop Steve before anyone got seriously hurt, but she wouldn't understand. Angrily, Shane spun around and stormed out of the foyer toward the estate grounds. _I've got to get out of here_, he thought_._ _I just can't take this anymore. I just have to get out of here._


	55. Chapter 54

Steve heard Shane stomp out of the room. All Steve wanted to do was get up and go after him, but his body once again betrayed him. He felt Kayla's hand on his face and heard her voice saying, "Just lie still, let me look at your lip."

He looked up at Kayla. Her eyes were filled with tears, but Steve refused to acknowledge them. He pushed her hand away and stood up. "Just leave me alone, Kayla," he spat. I don't need your help and I damn well don't need your pity." He did not bother hiding the anger he felt.

"I'm not leaving you alone, Steve," Kayla said in that familiar determined voice.

Steve whirled around. "I told you before, I'm not a child and I'm not an invalid. I can survive Donovan's sucker punch. I've survived much worse. Just leave me the hell alone."

"Fine, you can survive it," Kayla said. "But you don't need to bleed all over the place in the process. So let me take care of your lip." She reached for his arm again.

"Don't," Steve said, pulling his arm away. Without a word he stalked into the kitchen, looking for a towel for his lip.

He heard Kayla come in behind him, and he watched as she went to a drawer and pulled out a first aid kit. Just the fact that Kayla seemed so comfortable in this house angered Steve. "I guess you have this place scoped out, huh, Sweetness? Preparing for the day you became the lady of the manor?"

He saw Kayla flinch at the jibe, but she remained silent. She walked over to him with gauze in her hand. "Just stand still and let me take care of this."

Before Steve could move, Kayla quickly placed the gauze on his lip. "Owww!" Steve exclaimed as the antiseptic hit the cut on his lip. He tried to jerk away, but Kayla had a hold of his head and wouldn't let him. In that moment, Steve flashed back to all the times Kayla had doctored his various wounds in their early relationship. He should have remembered never to let her near him with a medical kit when she was upset.

Kayla dabbed at Steve's lip and then applied a small bandage, all without saying a word. When she had finished, she stepped back and finally spoke. "Are you going to listen to me now and let me explain?" she asked in a quiet, but firm voice.

"What's to explain, Kayla?" Steve said, stalking around the room. "I heard everything just fine. You love Shane and he loves you. My return from the dead seems to have messed up the perfect romance."

"No, your death messed up the perfect romance," Kayla said softly. Steve could hear the emotion in her voice. His sarcastic response died in his throat. As angry as he was, he did not want to hurt her anymore. He stopped pacing and let Kayla talk.

"What I said before is the truth, Steve. When I thought you were dead, a part of me died too. I knelt beside your coffin and all I wanted to do was crawl inside and be with you. I didn't know how to live without you. But I had to. I had Stephanie, and I had promised you that I would be strong for her and make you proud of me."

Steve could see the tears falling freely down her face as Kayla continued. "So that's what I tried to do. I tried to live a life without you that I had never expected. You need to understand that Shane and I never planned on anything happening between us. It just did." Kayla turned to face Steve again.

"Okay. So it just happened. But you can't tell me that Mr. ISA didn't know exactly what he was doing. You were hurting and lonely, and he took advantage of that. He used that to get you into his bed." Steve spat out the words bitterly, the very thought nearly killing him.

"I never slept with Shane," Kayla said. "I wasn't ready to be with him like that and he understood that. But I'm not going to lie to you anymore, Steve. It would have happened eventually."

Steve remained silent. He was torn between rage and hurt and guilt. Rage at Shane for taking advantage of his wife. Hurt at Kayla having misled him and, yes, for having moved on with her life. Guilt at the fact that, if he had been more careful, if he had just walked away from that stupid Jencon case, he would have never been taken from his family and Kayla would have never been in a position to be vulnerable to Shane's advances.

"So where does that leave us now, Kayla? You can't tell me that your feelings for him changed that quickly, baby. So why are you with me now? Out of pity? Obligation? Some misguided sense of loyalty?" There. It was out in the open now. Steve held his breath, waiting for Kayla's response.

"What do you mean where does that leave us?" Kayla asked in an incredulous voice. "You're my husband, the love of my life. Don't you know that by now? After everything we've been through - Jack, Marina, your supposed death - somehow we are still here together. That's where this leaves us - together."

"You're in love with another man, Kayla," Steve yelled out. "That doesn't exactly spell happily ever after."

"I'm not in love with Shane. I'm in love with you," Kayla yelled back. "Don't you get it? The only reason I could feel anything for Shane is because you were dead. I buried part of my heart and soul with you, and the moment I saw you again was the first time I'd felt whole since you left. Whatever Shane and I had died as soon as I saw you. You've had all of my heart since the moment I fell in love with you, and that's something that will never change."

"Then why didn't you just tell me the truth, Kayla? If you have no feelings for Shane anymore, then why didn't you just tell me when I kept asking about your life while I was gone?" Steve's frustration was back. "Why did you and Shane play me for the fool?"

"I never wanted you do find out like this, Steve. I knew I had to tell you, but I just got you back and I just wanted some time with you." Kayla paused. "And I felt guilty, all right. I had just found out that while I was trying to move on with my life, the love of my life was trapped in hell. I should have known that you were alive. I should have felt it."

"You still should have told me. You should have trusted me," Steve said, refusing to back down.

"I know that. But I was scared." Kayla's own frustration began to show. "And call me crazy, but I had this funny feeling that when I told you about my relationship with Shane, it might upset you. I know it was selfish, but I just wanted to hold on to that happiness for a little while."

Steve watched as Kayla took a deep breath and then walked back over to where he was standing. She cupped his face in her hand and looked into his eye. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you everything sooner. But I love you with all of my heart. . . . And you can't tell me that you don't believe that - not after everything we've been through."

Steve closed his eye for a moment, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms and forget everything that had happened today. But he could not forget what he heard and what he saw. And he could not forget the lies. He took Kayla's hands from his face and pushed them away. "I never thought you would lie to me, Kayla, but you did. And now I don't know what to believe anymore."

He let go of her hands and turned to walk out of the kitchen. He could hear Kayla call his name, but he didn't turn around and just kept walking.


	56. Chapter 55

Kim had come downstairs just as Steve turned the corner of the main hallway. She saw a red welt on his jaw and he had a small bandage on the edge of his lip.

"Steve, what happened?"

"Ask your sister and her sugar daddy." He scowled as he marched past her.

_I guess the truth is out_, Kim thought. Steve was never the calmest man under the best of circumstances. Given the current situation, Kim should have expected a volcanic explosion. She shook her head. _Time for Kimmie to come help her Sis pick up the pieces._

She found Kayla sitting at the table in the kitchen. She seemed to be counting the grains in the wood. Without saying a word, Kim walked over to the teapot and fixed two cups. Earl Gray for her; orange blossom for Kayla. Shane must have ordered that special, because Kim knew his disdain for the stuff. She looked out the window and saw the nanny was watching the children outside. Once the tea was ready, Kim carried the two cups over to the table and set the orange blossom in front of Kayla.

"Thanks," Kayla said.

"Guess I don't have to ask what happened." Kim took a seat next to her sister. "Steve's jaw told me everything I need to know."

"Shane shouldn't have hit him," Kayla said angrily. "And Steve wouldn't even listen. He's trying to make this into something sordid."

"You've got to give Steve time," Kim said. "He knows you love him. He's probably just as angry at himself as he is at you and Shane"

"That doesn't make it any easier."

"No, I guess not." This was hard for Kim. She had been the outsider to Kayla and Shane's relationship for so many months that sympathy was difficult to muster. But then she looked at how forlorn Kayla looked, and some of her bitterness slipped away. "I'm sorry. I doubt there's any easy way to handle this."

Kayla shook her head. "I guess not. I haven't done the husband returns from the dead thing before."

"Trust me," Kim said. "It's not easy." She thought back to that moment when Shane had walked into their bedroom while she was in bed with Cal. "At least Steve remembers who you are."

"Thank goodness for small favors," Kayla muttered. "Mine's just been traumatized."

"I'll try to talk with him again." Kim sighed as she thought about her lack of progress with Steve so far. "Maybe this incident will convince Steve he needs to open up."

"I doubt it. He's just angry, and now he can be even more angry at Shane for hitting him." She scowled. "Shane shouldn't have done that. It just made everything worse." Kayla looked at the doorway. "I should go and find Steve."

"No," Kim said. "Give him some time to think so he can calm down. Then let me have a crack at him. The last thing you want to do is give him more time for the anger to simmer."

Kayla nodded and then set something on the table. Kim looked closer and realized it was Shane's ring. Kayla picked it up and stood up from the table. "Guess I'd better finish what I started."

Now Kim really understood. Steve had seen the ring when Kayla was trying to return it, and that had prompted the argument. Kim felt a little heartsick for Shane. It had been a major step for him to open himself enough to give the ring, much the same way it had been a major step in her relationship with Shane for him to give Kim his mother's cameo. Kim had returned the cameo when Jeannie was born, but she had not returned it personally. That had spared her seeing the hurt on Shane's face. Kayla would not be so lucky.

Kim looked down at the untouched cup of orange blossom tea while Kayla started for the door. Before she could leave, Kim turned toward her sister. "Kay . . . I know things haven't been the best between us for the past few months, but . . . if you want to talk at all, I'm here for you."

Kayla stopped and gave a sad smile. "Thanks, Sis, I may really need it."


	57. Chapter 56

It took Kayla a while to find Shane, and the more she walked around the estate, the more she pictured Steve's bloody lip. So when she finally spotted Shane walking aimlessly amidst a clump of trees, her anger had returned. "How could you?" she yelled. "How could you hurt him like that?"

Shane stopped walking and looked at her. In a calm voice, he said, "I only wanted to incapacitate him. A punch to the liver hurts and the target is disabled, but I didn't hit him hard enough to cause any lasting damage."

"Lasting damage?" Kayla could not believe what she was hearing. "A few days ago, he could barely walk. You could've grabbed him in a headlock or something."

Shane sighed. "No, I couldn't. Steve was too out-of-control. If I got him in a headlock, he would have forced me to cut off the oxygen flow to his brain until he went to sleep. If I put him in an arm-bar, he would have forced me to break his arm." Shane turned away. "I just wanted to stop him before he hurt anyone, especially you."

"Steve would never hurt me, Shane," Kayla said, still angry. "You don't need to protect me from my own husband. You should have just left him alone."

"Maybe not intentionally," Shane said. "But the way he was, the way he was swinging so wildly, he could've easily missed me and hit you. If you're so worried about him, think about that. What would've happened to him if he wound up hurting you by accident?" Shane shook his head slowly. "There was no other way. I wish there were, but there wasn't."

He turned and ran his hands through his hair, a sign that Kayla recognized as one of frustration. The anger left her. She knew Shane was hurting and knew that he probably was telling the truth when he said he had not wanted to hurt Steve. Kayla also had to admit that Steve had been pretty out-of-control.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know you thought you were protecting me, but hitting him just made things worse."

Shane turned to her. "He's not in his right mind, Kay. What happens if he loses control and I'm not there?"

"That won't happen, Shane. I already told you, Steve would never hurt me." Kayla thought back to her talk with Steve. "Besides, he's more angry at you than at me, really."

"Fine, if that's what he needs to do, I can handle it."

_That was so much like Shane_, she thought. _Always ready to step into the line of fire_.

There was a long silence between them, as Kayla tried to figure out what to say next.

Shane spoke first. He slowly looked around at the trees, almost wistfully. "You know, when I was a boy, this is where I'd come to think. I'd just climb the highest tree and sit there for hours, just thinking." He looked back at her, with a sad half-smile. "Sometimes I'd think about the future, how I'd have great adventures and, one day, I'd have a family of my own. A wife. Kids. Everything would be so good, so right."

This was probably the most open Kayla had ever seen him, and she stepped forward. "Shane, you can still have that."

He shook his head. "You say that, but we both know it's not true. The two of us worked because we knew the limits of what we could give each other; because of what we'd lost. You got that back." He paused. "Me? That's not going to happen and there won't be anyone else who's willing to accept those limits."

Kayla had to admit there was some truth to that. What had she said to Shane when they were in the mountains? That she feared that she would never be able to love anyone because they would expect her to stop loving Steve. She reached out and took his hand. "I wish I could make this easier for you."

Shane laughed weakly. "Ah, the irony. That's what I've been saying to myself ever since we found him. I was going to make this easy for you. I'd just stay out of your way and let you and Steve work things out." He looked at her. "I'm sorry. I guess I made a mess of things."

Kayla thought back over the past few days and how Shane had disappeared for long stretches. She had assumed he was avoiding her to prevent her from having this talk after her callous comment to him in the stables, after she had told him their relationship was meaningless. That was probably one his reasons, but she should have known that wasn't all there was to it.

Earlier, she had told Steve that her love for Shane had died, but that was only partly true. They still had a bond, a friendship, and even a love of a sort. She couldn't really explain it. It was nothing like the love she had for Steve, but she cared for Shane deeply, and she hated that her happiness had come at such a price to his.

"It's not your fault, Shane, and I guess I've been rather selfish not to think about how hard this is for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "All along, I said I just wanted you to be happy. So go be happy, Kay. I don't need your pity."

"Dammit, Shane Donovan," she felt her anger rising with her voice. "Why do you make it so damn hard for people to care about you? You helped me through a terrible time - a beyond-terrible time," she said. "And I'm grateful to you for everything you did for me and Stephanie."

She reached into her pocket with her free hand and pulled out the ring once more. She suspected this might be the only time they really had to talk. She doubted Steve's anger toward Shane was going to diminish, especially if he was using Shane as the lightning rod for his pain, jealousy and guilt. And Kayla knew she needed to make her relationship with Steve her top priority. She opened up Shane's hand, placed the ring in it, and closed his hand around it. This time, he took it.

"You're a good man, Shane Donovan. You're a good man and you deserve to be happy." She gave his hand a squeeze and let go of it.

Shane opened his hand and looked down at the ring. Then he looked at her and she could tell that he couldn't have masked his emotions even if he tried. He looked so wounded, so in pain, that she was reminded of how she felt when Steve died. Then he nodded and said, "I'll do my best to make this easier for you."

With his other hand, he reached out and brushed her cheek like he had done so many times before. Then, as if he suddenly realized what he had done, he jerked his hand back. "Sorry," he said. "Force of habit, I guess." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'll do my best, Kay, but I can't just pretend I don't care. I can't just flip a switch and stop caring about you and Stephanie."

Kayla understood exactly what he meant, but she knew better than to say anything further. She gave him a slight nod and then turned around and headed back to the house.


	58. Chapter 57

Steve was back at the pond on the estate grounds staring vacantly out at the water. Somehow this spot had become a place of refuge for him. _I could use a little refuge right now_. How had things gotten so screwed up so quickly? But that was not the real question. He knew the answer to that one. The real question was how to fix them, if it could be fixed at all.

"Steven?" he heard Kim's voice call out. _Great. Just what I needed, somebody trying to get into my head_. He looked up at Kim but did not respond, hoping she would take the hint that he was not interested in talking. He turned back to the pond knowing that his hope was likely in vain.

As expected, he soon felt Kim sit on the bench next to him. Deciding to address the issue head on, Steve turned to her and said, "Look Kim, if you are here to try and get into my head again, I'm not interested. I've got other things on my mind and it's really not a good time."

"I know. I heard." Kim said evenly, her voice betraying nothing.

"You heard?" Steve could not resist asking.

"I talked to Kayla. She's pretty upset, you know."

"I know, but maybe she should have thought of that before she decided to lie to me about her little romance with your ex-husband." A sudden thought ran through Steve's head. "He is your ex-husband, right? I mean he wasn't cheating on you like Kayla was chea. . . ." Steve stopped.

"Kayla wasn't cheating on you, Steve. She thought you were dead."

Steve stood up and started pacing. "I know that, all right. Shane told me, Kayla told me, and now you told me. Everybody thought I was dead and buried. But I wasn't dead and buried. I was in hell while my wife was cozying up to another man. No, not just another man - Shane."

"I know."

Something in Kim's voice caught Steve's attention. He stopped pacing and looked down at her, "Yeah, I guess you do, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. But I also know how lost and alone Kayla was after you died. And I know how that loneliness can make you look for someone or something to ease the pain."

"You're talking about your relationship with Cal, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am speaking of Cal. I'm not saying the situations or relationships are exactly the same. But I remember how everybody kept telling me I had to move on and live my life, and I remember wanting to do just about anything to stop feeling all the pain. Cal was a mistake on so many levels, but he took away some of the pain I felt when I thought Shane had died, and I can't deny that."

"So Kayla was just using Shane to deal with the pain?" Steve asked.

"I can't answer that question, Steven. Only Kayla can. But I know that whatever I thought I felt for Cal ended when Shane returned. Shane never understood that; not really. I'm not sure he ever forgave me for being involved with Cal while he was gone." Kim paused. "There were a lot of other things that happened after that, but I sometimes think that was the beginning of the end for us."

"So I should just accept that Kayla was in love with Shane, but now she isn't? I don't know if I know how to do that."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do or what to feel, Steve. I'm just offering another perspective from someone who's been there. How you choose to deal with this is up to you. But you need to remember that there's a lot at stake and ask yourself if your pride is worth losing everything."

Kim got up from the bench and put her hand on Steve's shoulder. "I may be Kayla's sister, but I'm also your friend. If you want to talk - about anything - you know where to find me." Steve simply nodded in response and watch Kim walk away.

Steve turned back to the pond, thinking about Kim's words. He remembered when he and Shane had been in Italy looking for the survivors of the Loretta. He had tried to talk to Shane about Kim, tried to tell him how Kim had never stopped loving Shane, and had only turned to Cal out of loneliness. Shane had shut him down cold. Steve let out an ironic chuckle as he remembered how he had felt Shane was being an obstinate ass who was too stubborn to realize he was throwing away something special. _Guess the shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it Johnson_?

Steve had no idea how long he had been staring at the pond when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Kayla walking up the path towards the house. His first instinct was to call out to her, but he did not. He just watched her walking slowly up the path with her head down. Suddenly she stopped and turned in his direction. Their eyes met for a moment before Steve looked away.

Steve kept his head down as he could hear Kayla's approaching footsteps. "This is a beautiful spot," Kayla said softly as she stopped and stood next to him.

"Yeah it is. And just think. It all could have been yours," Steve said, unable to stop himself.

"Dammit, Steve. Do you really think I care about any of this stuff?"

"Come on, Kayla. Let's be real here," Steve said, as all those long-buried insecurities came pouring out. "On the one hand you have Master Donovan, the man with all the money, the houses, the estates. He can give you anything you could ever want. On the other you have Steven Earl Johnson, ex-pool hustler, ex-cop, currently unemployed with limited prospects. Why wouldn't you be thinking about what you could have had if I'd stayed dead?"

"Because the only thing that has ever mattered to me is you," Kayla said angrily. "Haven't I proven that to you enough? All the money, all the houses, all the stuff in the world doesn't matter if I don't have you. And if you don't understand that by now, I don't know what else I can do to prove it to you." Without another word, Kayla turned and began walking back to the house.

Steve remained where he was and let her go. He knew she was right; she had never cared about material things. He was the one that always felt like she deserved more. But he could not help how he felt and he did not know how to make that feeling go away.


	59. Chapter 58

It was late by the time Kayla finally headed up to the bedroom. She and Steve had barely spoken since she had walked away from him at the pond earlier in the afternoon. He had returned to the house in time to help feed Stephanie her dinner and eat something himself. After dinner, he had spent the evening playing with Stephanie and ignoring Kayla, except when absolutely necessary. When Stephanie had begun yawning, Steve had quietly picked her up and followed Kayla upstairs where they had put her to bed. As soon as Stephanie was asleep, Steve had turned and left the room without a word. Kayla had left, too, but had not seen him since.

Pausing at the bedroom door, she took a deep breath and slowly opened it. She stepped inside and saw Steve already in bed. His eye was closed, but she could not tell if he was asleep or just pretending. She walked across the room and into the adjoining room to check on Stephanie. Her daughter was sleeping soundly, clearly oblivious to all the turmoil going on with her parents.

Turning from the crib, Kayla eyed the small bed in the room. Maybe she should just sleep in there tonight. Steve was clearly not ready to forgive her yet, and she doubted he wanted her in their bed. She walked back into the bedroom to get her nightgown. As she reached for it on the chair by the bed, she looked again at Steve. This time his eye was open and locked on her. She held his gaze for a moment, wondering if he would say anything.

He did not, but he also did not turn away. Kayla picked up her nightgown and went into the adjoining bathroom. As she got ready for bed, Kayla knew she would not be sleeping in Stephanie's room. She had spent too many nights alone in her bed and she would be damned if she would voluntarily spend another one alone now. She had known that this would not be easy. Steve was hurt and angry, and she understood that. But if he wanted to shut her out, she was not going to make it easy for him. She had vowed that she would not let this tear them apart and she planned on keeping that vow.

Shutting off the light, Kayla exited the bathroom and walked towards the bed. She could again see Steve's eye open and he watched her approach. Without a word, she pulled back the covers and slipped into the bed beside him. She dared to hope for a moment that he might turn and take her in his arms as he had every other night since he returned. But he did not move.

Sighing slightly in disappointment, Kayla turned on her side to face Steve. He began to stir and she was sure that he was going to turn away from her. But, to her surprise, he turned on his side to face her. Their eyes met, each searching for something in the other. Kayla wanted to tell him to talk to her, to share his hurt, his anger; anything to break down this wall of silence between them. But she did not. Instead, without thinking, she reached out and stroked his cheek and softly spoke.

"You said you didn't know what to believe anymore. Well I do. I believe that we were meant to be together . . . forever. I believe that you love me and, that no matter how angry or hurt you are, you know that I love you. So, if you can't believe anything else, believe this - I'm here in our bed because there is nowhere else that I want to be . . . and I'm not going anywhere."

Steve did not respond, but she did nt expect him to. Pulling her hand away from his cheek, Kayla gave a small smile and rolled over. As the events of the day caught up with her and she drifted to sleep, Kayla knew there was one more thing she believed - they would survive this just as they had survived all other challenges placed before them.


	60. Chapter 59

As he had for the past several days, ever since the confrontation with Steve, Shane woke at 5 a.m. and headed straight for the communications room. He would remain there until the afternoon and would then find something to do with Andrew, away from everyone else in the house.

He punched in his access code on the phone and waited for approval. Tarrington was somewhere in California, so it was late-evening for him. They could have probably done these calls during Shane's afternoons and Tarrington's mornings, but the ISA Chief seemed insistent on these ridiculous hours.

The call was patched through and Shane heard Tarrington's voice on the other end. The ISA Chief dispensed with the pleasantries and got right down to business.

"Shane, give me your report on Johnson," Tarrington said. "Has he shown any improvement?"

Shane debated the answer. The truth was no, because Steve was still refusing to work with Kim. But Shane also knew his boss was impatient. He wanted results and, if Shane's plan to have Steve recover at Donovan Manor failed, Tarrington would seize Steve and send him to a secure psychiatric facility.

"I believe so," Shane lied. He quickly added, "But it's still going to take time before he's ready to tell us anything about Alamain - if he even knows anything."

"We don't have time, Shane."

Now Shane was puzzled. "Why not? The virus has been cured. What else could possibly be so time-sensitive?" There was a lengthy pause on the other end of the phone that told Shane his superior was hiding something from him. "Tarrington, am I not the Head of Special Investigations?"

Tarrington replied. "Yes, of course."

"And isn't that the second-highest position in the ISA?" Shane wondered why this felt so much like an interrogation.

"Yes, Shane."

Now that his position in the organization was clear, Shane asked, "So what could possibly be so secret that you can't tell me?"

He heard Tarrington sigh. "It's Alamain. Our field agents are seeing a lot of odd movement. Known facilities are being shut down. Work is being moved to other countries. And we're hearing that Alamain's people are promising something big on the horizon."

"Something big?" Shane said. "Like another virus?" It was always possible that the ISA virus was a dry run, a test for something bigger down the road.

"We don't know," Tarrington replied. "It's possible, but our analysts think it might be something even more controllable, some sort of weapon. Alamain's people have been in contact with a lot of people, some of the worst despots and terrorists out there, and have told them to be ready for very high bidding on something important. Some of the reports have referred to it as 'world-changing.'"

Shane didn't like the sound of that. Lawrence was amoral and that was very dangerous when coupled with the fortune he had inherited. Shane had already experienced some of Lawrence's deadly toys when the man showed off his "special effects" in Alamainia. He definitely had the resources to develop a weapon to sell to the highest bidder. Then Shane remembered the compound and the thick smoke that burned his throat.

"It's chemical," Shane said. "And you think that's what they were developing in Egypt."

"That is what we suspect," Tarrington confirmed.

"And you think Steve might know what it is." Shane finished putting the pieces together.

"It's quite possible, as he was in the compound. Considering he was used to test the virus, Alamain's people may have intended to use him to test this new agent."

Shane sat back in his chair and let that sink in. Had they not rescued Steve, he would have continued to be Lawrence's guinea pig, possibly for something even more deadly than the virus. Letting out a deep breath, Shane asked, "So what's the ISA's strategy going forward?"

"We keep our informants and operatives in place until we get a better idea of exactly what Alamain has up his sleeve," Tarrington said. "Then we'll know how best to approach it."

That made sense, and maybe it was all the ISA could do right now, but Shane wanted something more. "I want to head this one," he said. "If it involves Alamain, I should be in charge of the operation."

Tarrington chuckled. "Don't get ahead of yourself, old boy. We don't know enough right now, and it may turn out that your history of animus with Alamain is a liability on this matter."

Shane knew that was true. It would be hard for him to get anywhere near Lawrence, but he could still oversee the operatives. But there would be time enough for him to press Tarrington on that. "We'll see when the time comes," Shane said.

"In the meantime, Shane, we really could use you in Baghdad."

They were back to that. Getting an Iraqi scientist out of the country - out of a war zone. "Can't we leave that one for the CIA?" Shane asked.

"Under normal circumstances, but they've asked for you personally," Tarrington said. "You speak the language and know the region quite well. And, I'll add, those in positions to have knowledge of your recent mission are quite impressed."

"I'm not sure why," Shane said. "The ODA did most of the work."

"Don't sell yourself short, Shane. Captain Nowicki's report praised your performance. He even said you were the first 'forward observer' he did not want to shoot at the first opportunity."

"High praise, indeed." Shane did not attempt to hold back the sarcasm. "So why do I feel like you're trying to stroke my ego, Tarrington?"

The ISA Chief laughed. "Perhaps. But we really could use you on this operation. Will you at least think about it?"

"Very well." Shane knew that was the best response. "But with everything going on here, understand that it's very unlikely I'll be able to leave."

The call finished soon after, and Shane let out a deep breath. The information about Lawrence was beyond troubling, and Shane had to consider the possibility that Steve knew something about those plans. That made it all the more important to get Steve talking.


	61. Chapter 60

Kayla smiled as she watched her adventurous daughter explore the broad expanse of grass in the side lawn. She could see Steve sitting on the grass not too far away also enjoying Stephanie's toddling steps and giggles. Kayla contemplated walking over to join him, but given the tensions that had yet to abate, she decided to stay where she was and just enjoy the moment.

There had not been many enjoyable moments since the truth had come out. Kayla was nowhere near ready to give up, but her frustration was growing as Steve continued to shut her out. They slept in the same bed and spent time together with Stephanie, but aside from those moments, Steve had said little, and had shown no interest in talking further. She knew she was going to have to push the issue if things didn't change soon.

Stephanie's loud wail cut into the silence. Kayla's eyes quickly found her daughter on the gravel path that bordered the grass as her legs automatically began running towards the sound. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Steve spring up and begin sprinting towards their crying daughter. Kayla reached her first and quickly knelt down beside her.

"It's okay, baby doll. Mama's here," she said, carefully pulling Stephanie to her. "And so is Papa," she continued as Steve knelt down beside her. Steve stroked Stephanie's hair as Kayla quickly scanned Stephanie, searching for the reason for her cries. It didn't talk long to find the scrape on Stephanie's knee. Kayla's trained eye appraised it and speedily determined that there were no other injuries.

"Is she okay, Sweetness?" Steve asked, his worry evident. Even in the midst of her worry about Stephanie, a part of Kayla's brain registered his use of that familiar endearment that she had heard so rarely in the last few days.

"She's fine. It looks like she just scraped up her knee a bit on the gravel."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have let her wonder onto the path."

"Nonsense, Steve," Kayla said turning to look at him. "She was just exploring and fell down. It happens with little kids all the time. Besides, I was standing here too. So it's just as much my fault as yours."

Steve didn't respond, so Kayla turned back to Stephanie, holding her close and murmuring comforting words in her ear. Gradually, Stephanie's cries subsided and she finally pulled her head from Kayla's shoulder and looked up at her.

"See, baby, you're okay," Kayla said. "How about we take you inside and get you cleaned up?" Kayla started to stand up, still holding on to Stephanie.

"Here let me," Steve said, taking Stephanie from Kayla and then helping Kayla up. Steve cuddled his daughter to his chest. "Come on, Little Sweetness, let's go inside and your Mama will make it all better." Kayla walked beside Steve as he carried Stephanie to the house.

Once inside, Kayla retrieved the first aid kit again and cleaned the scrape on Stephanie's knee. When Kayla applied the antiseptic, Stephanie let out another wail, but Steve quickly calmed her. Kayla couldn't help but smile when she heard Steve whisper, "Don't worry, baby girl. Daddy knows exactly how that feels. It won't hurt for too long."

By the time Kayla had finished cleaning and bandaging the scrape, Stephanie was half-asleep in Steve's arms. "Looks like somebody is ready for a nap," she said, stepping back and closing up the first-aid kit. "Here, I'll take her up."

"Let me do it . . . if you don't mind. I think I still remember how." Steve gave Kayla a small smile and, for the first time in days, Kayla saw a warmth in Steve's eye instead of the coldness that had been there.

"Of course. I'm sure Stephanie would love having her papa put her down for her nap," Kayla said, returning Steve's smile. Deciding to press the opening, Kayla continued, "Maybe I could fix us a little lunch while you are upstairs."

She held her breath as she saw Steve hesitate. Then he nodded and said, "Sure." Kayla smiled again. "Great. I'll get us something and meet you on the patio. Be sure to tell Mrs. Batson that Stephanie is napping on your way down." Steve nodded again and headed up the stairs with his daughter in his arms. Kayla watched them walk up the stairs, happy to see the two of them together, and even happier to see how much stronger Steve was getting. Just a couple of weeks ago, he had been almost unable to climb the stairs without help. Now he was strong and steady as he carried his daughter.

A short time later, Steve walked onto the patio and took a seat at the table where Kayla was waiting. She hoped her relief at seeing him was not as obvious as it felt. She had spent the whole time he was gone wondering if he would actually join her. "Is Stephanie all tucked in?" Kayla asked.

"Yeah. She went right to sleep," Steve said, not looking up from his plate.

_Well, you knew he wasn't going to make it easy for you,_ Kayla thought. They finished the meal in relative silence, exchanging only a few small comments. When he was finished, Steve pushed back his chair and started to rise.

"Wait a minute . . . please," Kayla said. Steve hesitated a moment, then sat back down. Kayla reached for his hand and took heart when he did not pull away. "I've tried to give you time and space, but don't you think we need to talk? We can't keep acting like strangers if we're going to make this work."

Steve looked down at their joined hands, then looked back at Kayla. He sighed softly and said, "I'm not sure what you want me to say. I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt to find out that you lied to me about your relationship with Shane. And I can't pretend that it doesn't kill me to know that you love him and doesn't make me wonder if you really want to be with me."

Kayla thought back to her conversation with Shane. She still had deep feelings for Shane, but the nature of them had changed when she found out Steve was alive. She wasn't sure that Steve was in a place to understand the distinction, but decided to be as honest as she could.

"I'm not in love with Shane, Steve. I could only be in love with him at all because I thought you were gone. Those types of feelings don't exist - can't exist - now that I know you are here. I know you think I don't understand how you feel, but I do, much more than you know," Kayla said, her own bitterness at the memory slipping out unbidden.

Steve looked up again at Kayla's words. His eye widened and saw the recognition flash on his face. "Marina," is all he said.

"Yes . . . Marina. You remember how hurt I was when I found out you had lied to me about your past with her. Do you think I didn't spend hours - days - wondering what you really felt for her and what you really felt for me? That I didn't have moments where I was petrified that the only reason you stayed with me was because I was pregnant? I did. But we got through that, Steve. It wasn't easy, but we got through it because the love we have for each other was strong enough - is strong enough - to get us through anything. But you have to talk to me, Steve. You can't just keep shutting me out."

Steve leaned back in his chair. She could see the tremors in his cheek as he tried to control his emotions. After several moments, he finally spoke.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Kayla asked in confusion.

"Why Shane . . . why did you get involved with him?" Steve asked gruffly.

Kayla was silent for a moment. How could she possibly explain all that had happened that led her and Shane to the point they were before Steve's return, particularly when she didn't completely understand it herself.

"He was there for me during the worst time of my life. He gave Stephanie and me protection and comfort at a time when we needed both. Staying at Shane's house meant I didn't have to face my loneliness, at least not the way I would have otherwise."

"So it was just a convenience? He was just there when you were lonely and scared?"

Kayla sighed. "No I can't say that. Shane was kind and caring and supportive, and he adores Stephanie. Having someone to share my time with and to talk about my day with, it helped ease some of the pain. Somewhere along the line I started to realize how important that had become to me . . . how important Shane had become to me."

Kayla paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. She still held Steve's hand and caressed it gently before continuing, "Even then, I wasn't ready to really contemplate a relationship with him - or anyone. Having those feelings scared me to death and it made me feel like I was betraying you." Kayla gave a harsh laugh. "I guess I was."

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I guess you got past that, huh?"

Kayla paused again. She thought back to the talk she and Shane had when they were waiting for Eve to come out of her coma. "Not exactly. It's more that Shane made it clear that he never expected me to stop loving you . . . never wanted me to forget you or the love we shared. . . . I don't know. Maybe it worked with Shane simply because he was the only man who could have accepted that he would never have all of my heart, because a big part of it would always be with you."

Steve looked up at those last words. "You told him that?"

"Yes, I did. I don't think I could have ever moved on if moving on meant letting you go from my heart. It just wasn't possible and Shane always knew that."

"What about Kim?" Steve asked. "She couldn't have been thrilled that you were dating her ex?"

Kayla gave a soft chuckle. No, Kim was certainly not thrilled. She contemplated how best to tell that part of the story. "Kim, my parents, nobody was thrilled, believe me. I never wanted to hurt Kim, but then she got involved with Lawrence . . ."

Kayla stopped as she saw Steve's eye widen in surprise at that bit of news. "It's a long story, but she was undercover for the ISA and I didn't know. I thought she was falling for the man who killed you. I'm not proud of it, but I can't say it didn't factor into things."

"So that's what you were talking about when Shane gave us the news about the cure for the virus?"

"Yeah. Someday I'll tell you the whole story, but the point is that my relationship with Kim was on pretty rocky ground and so I guess I wasn't so ashamed of being selfish where Shane was concerned." Kayla felt a stab of guilt as she thought about the fact that she now had Steve back, but Kim was more estranged from Shane than ever.

"So all of that led you to fall in love with Shane Donovan?" Steve said softly, but without the angry edge to his voice.

Kayla did not respond at first. There was no good answer to Steve's question. She looked at Steve and said, "What you need to remember is that however it happened and whatever contributed to it, it's over. It was over the second I saw you."

"Is that what you really want, Kayla? Do you really want it to be over between you and Shane?"

Kayla felt her anger rise at the question. _Did he really doubt how she felt that much_? She cursed herself yet again for not finding the courage to tell him sooner. Maybe if he had not found out the way he had, this would not be so difficult now.

"Of course it's want I want, Steve. Being married to you is all I've ever wanted. I love you. I always have and I always will. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, not out of obligation or loyalty, but because you are the love of my life."

Kayla paused. There was something she needed to know. She wasn't sure if it was the right time to ask, or even if it might make things worse, but she needed to know. She looked at Steve and said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Steve gave her a curious look. "Sure, ask away."

"I need to know something, Steve. Maybe it was just me trying to make myself feel better, but I believed in my heart that you would have wanted me to live my life, to find some happiness for myself and Stephanie. Was I wrong about that?"

Steve looked startled by the question. He sat forward in his chair and Kayla thought she saw a shadow of guilt cross his face. Finally, he looked up and softly said, "No. You weren't wrong. All I've ever wanted for you is for you to be happy. If I were gone, I'd want you to live your life with as much happiness as you could find. I really would." He looked down again and said, "It's just a whole lot harder to accept when it's a reality."

"I know it is. You'll never know how sorry I am that this hurts you so much and you'll never know how sorry I am that I didn't tell you the truth myself ."

Steve slowly rose from his chair and walked over to Kayla. He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. Echoing her words from earlier, he said, "I do know. More than you know." He gave her a small smile. "I'm going to go check on Stephanie. She should be waking up soon. Then maybe we can all take a little walk around the grounds."

"That sounds wonderful," Kayla replied. Steve gave her another smile and headed back into the house. After he left, Kayla felt the tears spring to her eyes. They had turned the corner at last and now she could look to the future with more hope that she had felt in days.


	62. Chapter 61

Kim sat on the bench by the pond waiting for Steve to arrive. She knew that he usually visited this spot in the afternoon while Stephanie was napping. She also knew there was no guarantee he would show today. She had waited for him twice in the last few days only to later find him taking a walk with Kayla or talking with Kayla at the house. She was glad that the ice seemed to have thawed between Steve and Kayla, but it was putting a crimp in Kim's ability to talk with Steve alone.

Kayla had told Kim that she and Steve were talking things out and working through their problems. Kim was happy for her sister, but she couldn't help but feel a little angry. Kayla had Steve back and whatever Steve might feel about Kayla being involved with Shane, Kim knew that they would get through it. Somehow Steve and Kayla had always managed to work through their issues. So, why couldn't she and Shane have managed to work through theirs? And why did Kayla get the man she loved back while Kim had to watch the man she loved pine for her sister?

Kim knew she wasn't being completely fair. Kayla had no idea that Steve was alive when she got involved with Shane. _But she knew I was alive and well, and that didn't stop her_. Kim could not silence that bitter voice.

She turned as she heard footsteps on the path. Steve stopped for a moment when he saw Kim, but then gave a little grin and kept walking to the bench.

"My, what a coincidence. I decide to come and get a little fresh air and I just happen to find you here," Steve said in a sarcastic, but teasing tone.

"Well, it is a very pretty spot," Kim answered. "Besides, how was I to know that you wouldn't be spending the afternoon with Kayla?"

"Maybe because I saw you listening outside the kitchen when Kayla told me she was going to be making some phone calls back to Salem this afternoon?" Steve said, the twinkle still in his eye.

"Okay, you caught me. Congratulations, Detective Johnson. You solved the case," Kim said, giving a little bow.

Steve chuckled and sat down. "So do I get to guess why you're here or should we just cut to the chase?"

"I know you hate the idea, Steve, but I was hired to do a job and I have to at least try to justify my paycheck." Kim decided that as long as Steve's good mood held, she would play along.

"Yeah, you're just trying to do your job. But the problem is that I don't need help. I'm fine. I'm getting stronger every day and I'm not even having the nightmares every night anymore."

Kayla had told Kim that the nightmares were less frequent, but she had also said that they seemed to be more intense, that it was harder to wake Steve when he was in the trapped in a dream. This worried Kim as it sounded like the nightmares were becoming flashbacks.

"I'm glad that you're not having the nightmares as often as before, Steve. I'm sure that regaining your strength and getting some distance from your time in the compound has helped that. But you need to know that it doesn't mean you are getting better."

"What does that mean? How is having less nightmares a bad thing?" Steve asked, his exasperation evident.

"It's not a bad thing, Steve. But . . . answer me this. When you do have nightmares are they more intense than the ones you were having before? Does it feel like it's harder to wake from them and shake them off?

Kim watched Steve closely and could see the truth and concern in his eye before he answered. "I don't know," he said. "They're just nightmares." She knew he was lying or, perhaps more precisely, in denial.

"Okay," she said. "What is the one thing you remember the most from those nightmares?"

She again watched closely for his reaction. She saw him clench his hands into fists and flex his wrists and forearms. Shane had told her about the restraints and she had seen the scars on his wrists. She could also see that he was no longer paying attention to her, but was staring out at the pond.

"Steve?" she said sharply. When he turned and looked at her, she asked again, "What do you remember from your nightmares?"

"Nothing." Steve said, the edge back in his voice. "So why don't we just drop this? Now."

Kim contemplated pushing further, but she could see the storm building in his eye and knew that she needed to leave things be for the moment. The seed was planted and, once again, he had opened up just a little bit more - maybe not in words, but in his expressions. He had allowed her to ask some questions and he was thinking about what she had said. _Baby steps_.

"Okay. If you don't want to talk about your nightmares, how about we talk about you and Kayla instead?"

"Kayla and I are fine," Steve said, visibly relaxing with the change in subject. "Or at least we're going to be fine."

"I'm glad to hear that," Kim said sincerely.

Steve turned and gave her a curious look. "Really? After everything Kayla has told me, I'd expect you to be a little less . . . supportive. I mean, Kayla was involved with your ex-husband."

Kim sighed. "I'm not going to pretend that was easy to deal with because it wasn't." _It still isn't_, Kim thought silently. "But Kayla is my sister and I love her and, no matter what is going on between us, I do want the best for her."

"You're a better person than I am then, Kim . . . I'm not sure I can be that forgiving."

Something in Steve's voice told Kim that he was referring to Shane, not Kayla. "Well . . . I can't say I took the news much better than you did," Kim said, deliberately lightening her tone. "But at least I didn't try to punch anybody. I just . . ." Then she stopped, suddenly fearing she'd said too much. What if Kayla hadn't told Steve the whole story yet?

Steve chuckled and glanced at Kim. "Don't worry. Kayla told me how you walked into Shane's house and got an eyeful. Actually, she's told me pretty much everything about what happened between her and Shane . . . and between you and her. It hasn't been easy hearing it all, but I guess I understand some things better now."

"She loves you, Steve. She always has."

"I know," he said simply. "I know I haven't always deserved it and Kayla's forgiven me more times than I can count. You were right. There was too much at stake to let my pride stand in the way."

"Good." Kim looked over and saw Kayla and Stephanie heading their direction. "Now, I'm going to get out of here and let you spend the afternoon with your family. Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow."

Steve looked over at Kim for a long moment. "Maybe you will," he finally said.

Kim smiled and stood up. "I'll see you at dinner. Andrew's looking forward to more stories from his Uncle Steve. Enjoy your afternoon."

"Thanks, Kim . . . for . . . uh . . . thanks." Steve said.

Kim nodded and turned away, heading back to the house. When she reached Kayla and Stephanie, she paused just long enough to give Stephanie a quick kiss. She noticed Kayla's concerned look and gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that everything was okay. Farther along the path, she stopped and looked back. Kayla, Steve, and Stephanie were cuddled on the bench and she could see Kayla laughing. _Yes, everything is just fine. So why am I so unhappy_?


	63. Chapter 62

"Shh . . . it's okay, baby doll. Mama's right here." Kayla whispered softly to her daughter trying to calm her cries. She wasn't sure what had caused Stephanie to awaken in the middle of the night, but Kayla hoped she could calm her before she woke the house.

As Kayla held Stephanie and walked around the small room, she briefly wondered if she would ever get a full night's sleep again. Between Stephanie's late night cries and Steve's nightmares, it had been a very rare night that Kayla had not been jolted awake. She chided herself for her thoughts. She had her family back together and if that meant a little less sleep, so be it.

Kayla was very thankful for the progress she and Steve had made over the past few days, ever since their talk after Stephanie's accident. They'd taken several long walks around the estate and Steve had let Kayla tell the whole story, beginning to end. He hadn't asked a lot of questions and she could tell that it had been painful for him to hear some of the details of her relationship with Shane, but he had listened and held her hand throughout and she guessed that was all she could really ask.

The tensions had eased in their bedroom as well. Steve had stopped turning away from her when she joined him in their bed and had held her in his arms as she had fallen asleep. Yet, that created a new set of tensions. She wanted him so badly and knew that he wanted her. His strength was returning more every day, but she didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his recovery. She felt her body react at just the thought of being with him again and knew that neither could wait much longer, no matter what the doctors had said.

Trying to distract herself from those thoughts, Kayla returned to the walks she and Steve had taken. After she had finished telling her story, she had tried, again, to get him to tell her about his time away. It continued to frustrate her that he would not tell her what had happened to him, but at least he had opened up a little bit more. He had told her that he had no memory of anything that had happened between leaving their farewell party and waking up bound, gagged, and blindfolded in some unknown location. He had also told her that his captors had told him that his family believed he was dead and that no one would come looking for him.

When she had questioned him about the virus and the antibodies in this blood, he had tried to laugh it off and simply said, "I guess I have a second career as a guinea pig," and then had changed the subject. Kayla knew that whatever had happened had affected him deeply - and was still affecting him. She also knew that Kim was doing her best to get Steve to let Kim help him.

Looking down, Kayla could see that Stephanie had finally gone back to sleep. Kayla walked back to the crib and carefully laid Stephanie down. She smiled down at her sleeping daughter and then headed back into the bedroom.

As she entered the bedroom, she heard a low moaning sound. She looked over at the bed and saw Steve sitting up, his eye wide open. For a moment, she thought he was awake and she started to ask him if he was okay, but quickly realized he was still asleep and in the midst of another nightmare.

She approached him slowly, calling his name. There was no response. As she reached the side of the bed, she called his name again. He looked at her but there was no recognition in his eye, only fear and confusion.

Kayla could see Steve's fists were clenched and the veins stood out in his arms as he strained against the unseen foe. Slowly, she reached out and took his fist in her hand, placing her other hand on his wrist.

"No!" Steve screamed, pulling his arm up and pushing Kayla away. She felt his fist strike her nose as she was flung backwards. Her back struck the dresser and she heard a large crash from something falling from above her. The air was forced from her lungs and she struggled to breathe, while the entire room dissolved into a white blur. Kayla stayed there, motionless, while she tried to regain her senses.


	64. Chapter 63

Shane was just coming upstairs when he heard the commotion in Steve and Kayla's room. Something crashed and he heard Kayla cry out. Without hesitating, Shane ran to the door and shoved it open. He stopped short when he saw Kayla on the floor, blood running from her nose. Steve was staring wide-eyed in Kayla's direction.

Grabbing a towel from the wash basin, Shane raced forward, crouched down next to Kayla, and held the towel to her face to stop the flow of blood. "What the blazes did he do to you?" he demanded to know.

Nobody answered. Kayla was looking past Shane at Steve. Behind him, Shane could hear movement.

"What's going on? What are you doing in here, Donovan?" Steve asked, sounding angry.

"Don't go near her," Shane yelled as he turned. Steve had been starting to get out of the bed, but Shane slid over, positioning himself between Steve and Kayla. Shane continued to try to staunch the bleeding with the towel. Locking eyes on her, Shane asked softly, "Tell me, Kay, did he hurt you? Tell me what he did to you." His voice grew louder as he glanced back at Steve.

"I didn't do anything to her," Steve said, as he rose from the bed.

Shane shot back. "This sure doesn't look like it." He continued to wipe the blood away. It seemed to be slowing, and he doubted anything was broken. Now his concern was lessening, but he was beginning to grow angry. "I thought you said he'd never hurt you."

"I'm okay. He didn't hurt me," she said. "It was just an accident."

"An accident?" Shane turned his head and glared at Steve, even though he continued talking to Kayla. "Nearly breaking your nose and throwing you across the room is hardly an accident."

"What the hell are you talking about, Donovan? She said it was an accident, and that's what it was." Steve now looked furious. He took another step towards Kayla, saying, "Kayla, what happened?"

"Don't move, Steve," Shane ordered. "Don't come near her."

Steve stopped moving, but glared down at Shane and said, "I'm not one of the servants you can order around, Master Donovan. Go play 'lord of the manor' somewhere else and I'll take care of my wife."

Shane ignored the jibe. His own anger was rising and he wanted nothing more than to shut Steve's mouth, but he knew that would only upset Kayla. Shane turned back to her, trying to suppress that fury. He hated to see her hurt. Lowering his voice, he said, "Please, tell me what happened."

"It was just a nightmare," Kayla said quietly, keeping her voice low as well. "Really."

"If you're sure," Shane said, smiling softly. He gently wiped away most of the remaining blood and found himself staring into her eyes. A bit of hair had fallen over her face, so he reached out and brushed it away. "You're sure you're all right?" Unconsciously, his hand touched her cheek and he gently ran it down her face, as he again asked, "Are you sure he didn't hurt you, Kay?"

Kayla's eyes widened.

"HEY!" Steve yelled. Before Shane could react, he was being jerked by his collar. He lost his balance and fell backward. Steve's punch came out of nowhere, striking Shane in the jaw. The entire room turned into a white fog. As Shane fought to recover his senses, another punch struck his shoulder and yet another grazed his chin. Recovering enough to defend himself, Shane brought his arms up to deflect any further punches then shoved Steve away. Steve fell back, landing on the floor.

"Stop it!" Kayla shouted at Shane, jumping between them as they both scrambled to their feet.

Shaking away the rest of the fog in his brain, Shane glared at Steve. Kayla glanced at Steve also. "Are you okay, Steve?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Steve replied through clenched teeth, his eyes never leaving Shane.

Kayla turned back to Shane. "Get out! Haven't you done enough?"

Didn't she understand? Shane just wanted to see her safe. Couldn't she see that Steve was a danger to her and Stephanie?

"You heard her, dude," Steve echoed, taking a step in Shane's direction. "Get out of here."

Steve's words stoked Shane's anger, but there was nothing he could do with Kayla between them. Slowly, Shane backed away toward the door. "This isn't done, Steve. You need help and you're going to start working with Kim whether you like it or not. Next time, it might not be something as minor as a bloody nose.

With that, Shane turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.


	65. Chapter 64

Steve watched Shane leave the room and shut the door behind him. "Can you believe the nerve of that dude?" Steve said to Kayla, still staring at the door.

"He's just concerned," he heard her say. "Yes, he stepped over the line, but you've got to figure this is pretty hard on him. He means well."

_Means well, my ass_, Steve thought. _He's still trying to steal you, baby_.

Steve looked at Kayla and saw the small trickle of blood running from her nose. Suddenly, Shane was forgotten. Grabbing the towel from the floor, Steve gently wiped the blood away, asking, "Baby, are you okay? How did this happen? Did you trip or something?"

Kayla was silent. She took the towel from Steve, stood, and walked over to the washbasin where she dipped the towel in the water. Steve was about to ask her the question again, when she turned back and quietly said, "You had a nightmare."

Steve flashed back to his nightmare. He had heard Kayla's voice, calling out to him and he had been trying to get out of the restraints to get to her. He had jerked his arm away. Suddenly, he felt a cold chill run through him. He had done this. He had hit Kayla. It was the one thing he had vowed he would never do.

He stood frozen as Kayla walked back towards him. He wanted to run, wanted to hide from the pain he had caused her, and wanted to escape the fear and loathing he knew he would see in her eyes. His father's long-buried words came back to him. "Someday, you'll be just like me, Stevie-boy." He had vowed that he would never be like Duke. Just another broken promise.

Kayla stood before him and reached for his hand. "Don't," he said, choking on his words. "You need to stay away from me, baby." He looked down; he could not make himself meet her eyes.

"I could never stay away from you," Kayla said softly. "Don't you know that by now?"

"Look what I did to you, Kayla. You're bleeding. I did that."

"It was an accident, Steve. That's all it was. You were having a nightmare and you struck out in your sleep. You didn't even know I was there."

"It doesn't matter, Kayla. I hit you. Don't make excuses for me. 'He didn't mean it. He's just under a lot of stress.' It's all BS. There's no excuse."

"Stop it," Kayla said firmly. She lifted his chin and forced him to look her in the eyes. "You listen to me, Steve Johnson. You are not like him. You could never be like him. You could never intentionally hurt me. . . . You're not capable of it. What happened here tonight was an accident and that's not an excuse. It's the truth."

Steve turned away from Kayla, pulling away from her touch. He reached for his robe and said gruffly, "I'll sleep in the other room. You won't have to worry about me hurting you."

Before he could move towards the door, Kayla grabbed his hand and arm and pulled him to their bed, forcing him to sit down beside her.

"Look at me, Steve," Kayla insisted. He turned to face her, but could not meet her eyes. "I said, look at me," she repeated. He raised his head as she said, "I spent far too many nights without you and I'm not letting you walk away from me tonight or any other night. Not out of anger - and certainly not out of fear."

God, she was so beautiful. He searched her eyes, looking for the fear and the disgust that had to be there somewhere. Instead, they shone with love, with compassion, and with desire.

Steve reached down to brush some of her hair away from her face, but stopped, his hand hanging in the air. He didn't have the right to touch her, not after what he had done. He started to drop his hand, but Kayla grabbed it and brought it to her face. She kissed his palm and then placed his hand on her cheek, all the while her eyes never left his. He caressed her cheek, reveling in the softness of her skin.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry I hurt you," he said, barely able to control his emotions.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, too." Her words were hesitant and her voice cracked as she spoke.

Then there was silence as neither said another word. They just stayed that way - their eyes locked and his hand softly resting on her cheek. Then Steve moved his hand slightly and gently traced her soft, full lips. Kayla's eyes closed and she pressed her lips against his fingers. Steve tried to push his fears aside. His wife was here beside him. She loved him and she wanted him. God knows, he wanted her. He pulled his hand away, waited until she opened her eyes again, and asked the unspoken question. When her eyes answered, he lowered his head and kissed her. It was not a soft kiss, but forceful and demanding and, for an instant, he feared she would pull away.

But Kayla did not seem to mind. Her lips parted, letting his tongue explore her. The kiss was long and slow, so slow that Steve thought he might run out of air before they parted.

"God, baby, do you know what you do to me?" he whispered. "It's been so long. Too long."

Kayla responded, her voice shaking. "I love you so much, Steve. I need you so much."

She shifted back onto the bed and Steve followed. Kayla ran her hands along his chest until they grasped his shoulders and she pulled him down so his bare chest met the soft silk of her chemise. Through the silk, he could feel the heat radiating from her.

They kissed again and again, even as his hand began sliding the thin strap of the chemise down her arm. Steve's kisses traveled down as well, running along her neck and throat, and Kayla moaned.

_Only I can make you moan like that_, he thought. "Oh, Sweetness, I want you so much," Steve breathed. He kissed her neck and then slid higher, his lips reaching her mouth. His tongue parted her lips and he taster him again.

As they parted, their eyes locked. He could see the need and desire so plain. "Please. . ." she said, in little more than a whiper.

"That's right, Sweetness. You want _me_," Steve said, with a sly grin, and he kissed her. "Only _me_." Another kiss. "_Me_."

Kayla moaned again. "Ohh . . . Yes . . . Only you, Steve . . . oh . . . don't stop."

_Not a chance of that. _A thought flashed briefly in his head. The doctors saying he should not be doing anything strenuous. As he continued kissing Kayla, he thought, _What did doctor's know. He could keep this up for hours. It would be hours before they reached 'strenuous.' _Steve grinned again. "Oh, don't worry, baby, I'm just getting started."


	66. Chapter 65

Shane had spent 20 minutes walking aimlessly through the corridors of Donovan Manor until his anger abated. Now he was only feeling embarrassed and stupid. Plus he had a very sore jaw. The only good thing was that Steve was not yet at full strength or Shane might be dealing with a broken jaw right now.

He knew he had crossed a line by touching Kayla like that. It had not even been intentional. It had just been a reaction to seeing someone he cared about being hurt. He had not meant anything by it. It was just instinct; after all the time they had spent together, it had just been a natural reaction to comfort her when she was in pain.

Finding himself at the base of the staircase, Shane walked into the sitting room. This had always been his favorite room in the house. He walked slowly toward the mantle that his father had carved, remembering how he and Drew had helped their father cut down the trees for the wood. He remembered telling Kim that story during her first visit, right before they made love in front of the fire.

He had been happy then. Truly happy. Only a few months earlier, he had doubted that would ever happen. After he thought Emma had died, and then his parents had their accident, Shane had been sure that he would live the rest of his life alone, never opening himself up to anyone ever again.

Then he got sent to Salem and found himself falling for Kim. For a time, he was happy again - usually between the agonizing pain of their break-ups - but when that failed, when Kim walked out on him, he did not think he could ever find happiness again. And that's what Kayla helped him do, find some happiness amidst the pain.

Was it really love? Maybe, of a sort. Shane hardly knew for sure. It certainly was nothing like what he had with Kim, but that relationship had died a slow and torturous death from wounds that pretty much were all self-inflicted. What he had with Kayla had filled that void in his life.

It was just bloody hard to let that go. Shane knew he had no claim on her; he knew he would lose out to Steve if he fought for her. And he didn't even want to fight for her. That was not his intent.

Shane just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to be able to escape the reminders of happier times, and, right now, it seemed like bringing Steve back to Kayla had ripped the scab off a half-healed wound. It was like all the pain - all that loss - he had buried during his relationship with Kayla had overflowed some dam deep inside him.

_That doesn't change anything_, he said to himself. He had still crossed a line upstairs. Steve had every right to attack him. Shane was supposed to be letting Kayla go and making this easier for her, not acting like a blasted schoolboy with a crush just because he did not like what he sees.

At least, he could be man enough to admit that and apologize. He owed that to Kayla and, as difficult as it was to admit, to Steve as well.

He left the sitting room and trudged up the stairs. He walked past his own bedroom on the right, until he reached Steve and Kayla's room on the left. He began to knock, but froze when he heard the noise coming from the other side.

The sounds were unmistakable. And, as if to torment him even more, he heard Kayla. "Oh . . . Steve . . . yes, please . . . oh. . . ."

Shane stepped back, fighting the bile churning in his stomach. He turned and headed back toward the stairs. Obviously, the apology would have to wait.


	67. Chapter 66

Kim had been woken by the commotion, but had decided to stay out of it. For a short time, things had quieted down, except she had heard Shane walking around the hallway and then going downstairs. She had known it was Shane just from the footfalls. After living with someone that long, she could tell.

_You know you're going downstairs, so why wait_? Kim knew herself just as well, so she pulled herself out of bed, double-checked that Jeannie was still asleep in her crib, and left the room. Just as she reached the hall, she heard Kayla cry out Steve's name, obviously in the throes of passion.

_Good little sister_, she thought, sarcastically. _The entire house probably just heard you. Could you possibly be any more cruel_?

Once downstairs, she spotted the light on in the sitting room and headed toward it. Shane was standing by the mantle, his back to the door. Without turning, he said, "It's all right, Kim. You can come in." Kim obviously was not the only one who could identify a person by their footsteps.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked.

Shane shrugged and put both of his hands on the mantle. "He hit her and threw her against a wall. She says it was an accident."

"He did what?" Kim asked in surprise. "Is she okay?"

"Kayla's fine. Apparently, Steve had a nightmare and hit her without realizing it. But how was I supposed to know that? She was bleeding for god's sake."

Kim could picture the scene, with Shane going into overprotective mode.

Shane continued talking. "So now I'm the villain in this play."

"I don't understand," Kim said. She thought back to what she heard of the commotion and the shouting. "You did something in there, didn't you?"

"I just touched her cheek." Shane sounded exasperated. "I didn't even intend to. It just happened." He let out a deep breath. "I know I shouldn't have, but I can't pretend I don't care about her."

"You have to let go, Shane."

"Don't you think I know that?" Shane said, his voice rising. "I knew that the minute I took the mission."

"Then why aren't you?" she asked.

"I'm trying. I know she wants to be with Steve and I'm trying not to get in the way. I didn't even realize I'd touched her. I never meant to. It's just bloody hard, sometimes," he said, his voice rising, as he turned to face her. "You have no idea what it's like."

_He didn't just say that?_ Kim asked herself. "I have no idea?" she said loudly. "I have no idea what it's like to see the person you love reject you for someone else? Did you seriously just tell me that?"

Shane looked up at the ceiling and ran his hands through his hair, signs Kim knew meant he was frustrated. But then his voice softened. "I'm sorry. I guess you do know." He looked back at her. "I'm just concerned for Kayla and Stephanie. He's not in his right mind and he's a danger to them. He hurt her tonight. He could've easily broken her nose and, next time, she may not be so lucky."

"I know you're worried," Kim said. "But Kayla can take care of herself, and she loves him." Shane shifted uncomfortably when she said that, but she continued. "Frankly, Shane, the more you get involved, the harder it might be for Steve to get better."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Put yourself in his shoes for a minute." Kim walked over to the sofa and sat down. "Steve's been tortured for most of the past year, and we don't even know the full extent of it. He gets rescued and then he find out that the woman he loves has not only moved on, but has moved on with the man responsible for the rescue. Not to mention that the man is rich and can provide Kayla with all the things that he struggled to provide. Steve has a lot of reasons to resent you."

Shane shook his head. "But I can't help that, can I?"

"No," Kim said. "But you've got plenty of resentments of your own."

"That's not true," Shane protested.

"Of course you do, Shane." Kim rolled her eyes at his obliviousness. "Steve's coming back disrupted your future with Kayla. And while you profess to be noble by gallantly getting out of the way for them, what do you at the first sign of trouble? You rush right in and interfere."

"She was hurt," he said, his voice rising once again.

Kim sighed. She did not know if anything was getting through. "I know she was hurt, but we both know that Steve would never intentionally hurt Kay. He loves her too much - and, as hard as that is for you to accept, you need to deal with it. It's going to take time and there will be some incidents before he gets better."

"Gets better?" Shane raised an eyebrow. "He's not even trying to get better. He just keeps pretending nothing happened and won't talk to you."

"And you resent that, too," Kim said. "You were doing everything to make Kayla happy and now Steve comes back, and you don't see him even trying. But that is going to take Steve some time as well. Right now, he's still weak and he's still not past his anger and guilt - at himself for allowing Lawrence to take him and leaving Kayla alone - and at you for stepping into what he sees as his place. In some ways, maybe what happened tonight will force Steve to deal with some of those feelings."

Kim paused and studied her ex-husband. Shane was listening, at least, but he hardly seemed mollified. And Kim thought she knew why.

"I also suspect you're angry at Steve's lack of gratitude, Shane," Kim said.

"That's not true." Shane shook his head violently.

Kim chuckled. "I know you too well. Deny it all you want, but you're angry that Steve isn't acting grateful toward you. Even though you haven't really told us what happened, I know you risked your life to free him, and it infuriates you that Steve is treating you like the enemy."

Shane was quiet, but after a minute, nodded slowly. "So what do I do?"

"Give Steve and Kayla a wide berth so they can work things through together. I know you've been trying to keep away - though that's probably been as much for your own reasons as for them - but I mean that you need to stay completely out of it and let them deal with things on their own. From what I've seen recently, when they're alone and with Stephanie, things are getting better, and that makes me think you've become the focal point for a lot of Steve's anger. Perhaps if you completely avoided them, showing him that you're no threat, his anger will disappear completely. Meanwhile, I'll push Steve a little harder. If he did hurt Kayla tonight, that may motivate him to work with me."

"He'd better." Shane took a deep breath and let it out. "If he doesn't get better soon, the ISA's going to put him somewhere, and I won't be able to stop them."

"Somewhere?" Kim looked at him quizzically.

Shane stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robe. "A secure hospital maybe. Someplace where he won't have a choice about treatment and they'll tie him down if he gets violent. That's what Tarrington wanted in the first place, but I convinced him to let me bring Steve here and have you and Kayla come. Now . . . ." Shane hesitated. "Now I'm not so sure that was a wise decision."

Kim tried to process that. Locking Steve up and restraining him would be the worst possible outcome. "How can they do that? It'll kill him."

"National security," Shane explained. "That's how they'd justify it. And I know it would be bad for Steve. I know that. But if he's dangerous to the people around him. . . ." Shane did not finish the thought. "He needs help. I understand that, and I'll try to keep away. Tomorrow, I'll apologize for what happened tonight, and then I'll do what I can to leave them alone. And I understand that it will take time. But you know the ISA. They're impatient and they think Steve has important information on Lawrence. You have to get him to work with you." Shane looked at her for a moment, before he walked past the couch toward the foyer and the stairs.

Kim stood up from the couch and walked over to the mantle. She shook her head, slowly, and let out a deep breath. How was she going to get Steve to open up before it was too late?


	68. Chapter 67

Steve was feeling good. No, not just good. Absolutely fantastic. It was like he was whole again. He smiled broadly as he pulled on a robe and looked down at Kayla, who was still sound asleep after their late-night activities.

_Kayla the perfect nurse_, Steve thought. _My baby knows exactly the medicine I need. _

His euphoria left him when he saw the bruise on her face. How had he done that to her? To Kayla, who he loved more than life itself? And even after he had hurt her, when he should have been comforting her, she was the one who had comforted him, making sure he knew that she did not fear him, that she loved him, and that wanted him.

Steve sighed. He had so much to make up for and he was going to start by trying to show Kayla how much she meant to him. He slipped out of the room and made his way downstairs. He was going to surprise his Sweetness with breakfast in bed. Steve chuckled at the thought. It would be nice to have a meal in bed that he actually wanted to have.

Shane was already in the kitchen, sitting on a chair next to the counter, eating and giving some instructions to Worthington, when Steve arrived. _Oh, this is going to be fun_, Steve thought. He made a point to increase his swagger a bit as he entered.

"Good morning, everyone. I hope you are all having as good a morning as I'm having." Before Shane could answer, Steve turned to Worthington. "Could you fix us some fruit and maybe a little toast? I've got the little lady upstairs and want to bring her breakfast in bed." He watched out the corner of his eye as he added, "She had quite an exhausting night last night."

Secretly, he laughed as he saw Shane pale in response. As Worthington turned and began preparing a tray, Steve leaned against a counter and faced Shane.

"So, _Master_ Donovan_, _giving any instructions to the help today? Must make you feel like quite a big man." Steve smirked. "Makes up for other things that might be lacking."

He could tell that Shane was uncomfortable. _Good. After what he pulled, he deserves it_.

"Look, Steve, about last night-"

"Nope. Not listening," Steve said. "Don't want to hear a word you've got to say, dude."

Shane shook his head. "I just want-"

"Hey!" Steve said, sharply. "I said save it. I don't want to hear any of your words, Donovan. That's all they are - just empty words." He turned toward Worthington. "How's it coming?"

"Just a moment, Master Johnson."

Steve grinned at Shane. "See, I'm a 'master' too. Of course, there are some areas where I'm more of a master than others." He chuckled as Shane shifted in his chair.

"Steve, we need to talk," Shane said.

"No, we don't - and especially right now when I've got my Sweetness lying in my bed waiting for me." Worthington brought over the tray and set it on the counter in front of Steve. He took it. "Thanks, Worthington." Carrying it, Steve walked over to where Shane was sitting. In a low voice that only Shane could hear, Steve said, "You'll never know how good this feels, dude. Remember that. I'm the only one who will ever know."

Shane slammed the counter with a fist and started to get up, but Steve was already near the door. "Ta ta. Cheerio, old chaps," he said as he walked away.

_Damn that felt good_, Steve thought. He had just put Donovan in his place and they both knew where they stood. There could only be one top dog, and they both knew it wasn't the owner of the house.


	69. Chapter 68

Kayla yawned lazily as she turned over in bed. She knew she needed to get up and check on Stephanie, who probably required a diaper change. However, Kayla did not want to move. She never wanted to ever leave this bed. Mostly, she wanted Steve to get back to their room from wherever he had gone so they could continue what they had started the night before.

She smiled as she thought about it. They had made love for hours. It had been amazing how they still knew each other after so long apart, and yet, at the same time, everything had felt so new, every touch had felt as if she was discovering something for the first time. In her mind, she catalogued all the places she had touched that had caused Steve to tremble or moan. She began to picture exactly what she would do to him when he returned.

As if on cue, the door opened and Steve entered, carrying a tray in front of him. Kayla looked at him. "Breakfast in bed?" she asked.

"You need your sustenance," Steve replied. "You've got to keep your strength up. You never know when you might need a little extra energy." He set the tray down on the table beside his side of the bed and removed his robe. Underneath, he was wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms.

Kayla took note again of how thin Steve was. He had regained some weight over the past few weeks, but he was still much thinner than he had been before the boat explosion.

Apparently oblivious to - or just ignoring - her concern, Steve crawled into bed beside her and gave her a long, deep kiss. Kayla closed her eyes and savored the moment, then felt a flood of disappointment as Steve pulled away.

When she opened her eyes, Kayla saw Steve staring at her, a mixture of guilt and regret on his face. He hesitantly reached out and brushed his fingers across Kayla's cheek, then drew back as she flinched slightly.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, baby. I swear nothing like that will ever happen again," Steve said, his voice cracking.

"I know," Kayla said quietly. "It was just an accident. I knew you were having a nightmare and should have been more careful when I tried to wake you up."

"Dammit, Kayla. I don't want you to have to be careful around me. I don't want you to have to worry about what I might do."

"I'm not worried, Steve. I'm not afraid of you. I know that you would never hurt me. But your nightmares are something we need to deal with - together." She reached out and stroked Steve's cheek.

"I know, baby," Steve said tenderly. "I . . . I . . ." Steve paused and Kayla could see he was struggling. Finally, he turned back to the tray he had brought up with him. "For now, how about we see what ol' Worthington fixed up for us this morning?" Steve said. "I see some scones and some fruit." He grinned as he picked up a strawberry from the tray and held it to Kayla's lips.

Kayla hesitated. She knew that Steve was trying to change the subject. She wanted to push him and make him tell her what was going on inside his head. But maybe this wasn't the right time. They'd spent a wonderful night reuniting physically and emotionally. She wanted to savor that moment for a while. Smiling, she took a bite of the sweet fruit.

"Mmmmmm," she murmured, as Steve followed the fruit with another kiss. When he pulled away, she smiled. "At this rate, we won't finish breakfast by the time it's lunch."

"And that's a bad thing?" Steve said, as he finished the rest of the strawberry. "I've got an even better idea. Let's postpone breakfast until it's time for lunch."

Kayla laughed at his wicked grin. "So how should we fill the next few hours?"

"I've got a few ideas." Steve's hand had slipped under the covers and began running it up her side.

"Do you now? Remember that warning about 'strenuous activities,'" she teased. "I think last night got pretty strenuous."

"Ah, what do doctors know." Steve's hand had settled on her waist. "Besides, I'm feeling really good this morning." He grinned. "Had a little chat with our host in the kitchen."

Something about the way he said that gave Kayla pause. "Steve, what did you say to him?"

"Nothing much. I just set Donovan straight about a few things."

"What things?" she said, knowing she was not going to like the answer.

Steve's grin never wavered and he leaned close to her. "I just told him that there's only one man in this world who will ever make love to you."

Kayla couldn't believe what she just heard. She pushed Steve away and sat up. "Tell me you didn't really say that to Shane?"

"Hey, what's wrong, baby?" Steve remained on his side, but bent his elbow and propped his head on a hand. "After what he did last night, Mr. ISA needed to be taken down a peg or two."

"Steve, all he did was touch my cheek. He thought I was hurt." Kayla doubted Steve would understand, but she had to try to explain. "I know what you think, but Shane probably didn't even realize he was doing it. He's probably done that over a 100 times before."

Kayla saw Steve's jaw tighten, "Yeah, well now he knows not to do it again," he said, anger creeping into his voice.

Kayla sighed. "Why can't you let it go? I know you're angry about what happened, but I've tried to explain already. It just happened. Nobody planned it." She reached out for his free hand. "You're back and anything between me and Shane is over. You can't keep treating Shane like an enemy. We should be grateful for what he did to free you." Kayla did not know the details other than that there was some type of military-style raid on the place Steve was being held, but that sounded dangerous enough. "He risked his life to get you out."

Steve frowned. "Let's get something straight. The ISA got me out. Shane just went along so he could play soldier. Everything else he says is probably just talk."

Kayla's frustration boiled over. "Dammit, Steve. You're not being fair and you know it." She pulled herself out of the bed and found her robe.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked.

She glared at him. "First, I'm going to check on Stephanie. Then, I'm going to find Shane and apologize to him for what you said." Kayla started to head for Stephanie's room, but stopped and turned back. "I know I can't make you apologize, but I want you to think about everything Shane's done to help you and ask yourself how easy that would have been for you if your positions were reversed."

"Kayla-"

"No, Steve," Kayla snapped. "You have to make peace with him." More softly she added, "I know that this is hard for you. But all I want to do is move forward with our lives and I think you want that too. And I know that until you make some kind of peace with Shane, this is always going to be between us. I think you need to ask yourself if that's what you really want."

Kayla gave Steve one last look and headed into check on Stephanie. She could only pray that something she had said had gotten through to him. If Steve couldn't find a way to make his peace with Shane, then she was afraid that those wounds would never really be healed and it scared her to death to think about how they might fester over time.


	70. Chapter 69

Kim sat in the kitchen enjoying a late-morning cup of tea. Jeannie and Andrew were off playing under the eagle-eyed supervision of Mrs. Batson, and Kim was glad for a moment of calm amidst the chaos of two growing children, not to mention everything else that was going on Donovan Manor.

Kim looked up as Kayla entered the kitchen. She saw Kayla hesitate for a second at the door and then approach the table. Kim could see the light bruise between Kayla's cheek and nose and remembered what Shane had told her the night before.

"Good morning," Kayla said. "Have you . . . uh, seen Shane around this morning?"

Kim couldn't hide her surprise at that question. _Why was Kayla looking for Shane_? Especially after all that had happened last night.

Unable to squelch her curiosity, Kim answered Kayla's question with one of her own. "Why are looking for Shane?"

Kayla sighed, then sat down in the chair next to Kim. "It's a long story, but Steve said something he shouldn't have said to Shane, and I wanted to find Shane and apologize."

"Sounds like Steve is the one who needs to apologize, not you," Kim said evenly.

"Yeah, he does. But I can't force him to do that and I want Shane to know that I'm sorry."

"Well you're not going to be able to do that until later. Shane left for London a little while ago," Kim replied.

"What's in London?" Kayla asked.

"I don't know. Worthington just told me he said he had 'business' there and he left this morning."

Kim saw Kayla look down and she figured her sister shared her thoughts. Shane, as usual, was running away from his personal problems. "Business" was the perfect excuse. Kim decided to change the subject. "By the way, I spoke with Mama last night. Everything's fine. Bo's out of the hospital."

"That's great," Kayla said.

Kim had to agree. It really was great news. "And there's more. Apparently, our little brother is taking that job in Africa."

"Frankie?"

"Yep. And here's the best part. He's convinced Eve to go to Africa with him."

Kim saw Kayla chuckle at the thought of Eve living in Africa. "I hope Frankie knows what he is getting himself into," Kayla said with a shake of her head. Then the smile dropped and she added, "Poor Shane. This is all he needed on top of . . . everything else that has happened."

Kim just nodded and took another sip of her tea. Despite all of Eve's faults - and they were legion - Shane loved his daughter dearly. Having her leave Salem would be hard on him. Kim looked over the rim of her cup and saw the bruising on Kayla's face again. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Kay . . . I talked to Shane last night and he told me what happened. Are you okay?"

Kayla looked up and reflexively touched the bruise, "I'm fine Kim. It was just an accident, nothing more."

Kim took another sip and asked, almost casually, "Are you sure that's all it was?"

Kim saw the anger flare in Kayla's eye's. "Of course that's all it was, Kim. Steve would never, ever intentionally hurt me." Kim could hear the steel in Kayla's voice. "Maybe you and Shane don't believe that, but I do."

"I'm sorry, Kay. I just know that Steve has been dealing with a lot since he's been back and I needed to be sure," Kim said, trying to soothe her sister's anger.

"Well now you can be sure. I'm fine, and Steve and I are fine."

"Are you sure about that?" Kim asked.

"What do you mean, am I sure about that?" Kayla responded, the hint of anger back in her voice.

"I'm not blind, Kayla," Kim said, keeping her voice neutral. "You and Steve have had a lot to deal with in the last couple of weeks. For somebody who is fine, you've been doing a lot of apologizing and covering."

Kayla sighed. "Okay, maybe things aren't perfect, but he just got back. And the first thing I did was lie to him about Shane. He's already trying to deal with everything that happened to him and then he got my lie dumped on him. I just want to give him some time to deal with everything."

"I understand that, Kayla. But you can't enable his behavior forever. He's going to have to deal with everything eventually and you trying to protect him from that is not going to help. It may keep things calm in the short term, but it's not a long-term solution."

"I know that, Kim," Kayla said sharply. "But, he's my husband and I love him. We have some things to work on, but like I said before, we'll be fine."

Deciding that a change in subject and tone was needed, Kim looked slyly at her little sister, then said, "From what I heard when I passed your room last night, in some ways, you and Steve are already better than fine."

Kim giggled as she watched the blush creep across Kayla's face. She put her head in her hands, then looked up and joined her sister's giggles.

"Um . . . sorry about that," Kayla said when the giggles subsided.

"Don't apologize," Kim said with a smile. "Just remember that this is an old house. The walls aren't that thick."

Kayla blushed again and nodded. Then, in a more serious voice, she said, "I can't believe how happy I am, Kim. I never thought I'd feel this happy again."

Kim tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. "I'm glad things have worked out for you, Kay. You and Steve deserve your happiness."

"So do you," Kayla said sincerely. She paused as if she were searching for the right words. "I'm sorry for the way everything happened. I . . . uh, I just wish I would have known that Steve was alive. I . . . wish I would have done a lot of things differently."

"What do you mean, Kay?"

"I just feel like so much of this is my fault. If I had known that Steve was alive, if I had felt that, I never would have tried to move on with Shane. If I hadn't been so selfish and only focused on dealing with my own pain, I would have known better than to get involved with your ex-husband. Then Shane wouldn't be hurting so badly and maybe you and Shane would have worked things out," Kayla said, her emotions pouring out.

Kim thought a moment before answering. "I can't deny that I've had some of the same thoughts," she said. Then she reached for Kayla's hand and added, "But the reality is that mine and Shane's problems existed long before you and Shane got involved. And, more importantly, you didn't know that Steve was alive. You were just doing what you needed to do to live your life. That's all any of us can do sometimes."

"I know you may not believe this," Kayla said. "But . . . I never meant to hurt you. Or Shane. Or Steve. Yet, somehow, I've managed to hurt all the people I care about most."

"I do believe it," Kim replied. "And Shane and Steve know that as well. We're all victims of circumstances here. And now all we can do is try to move forward as best we can."

"Not circumstances," Kayla said, the anger back in her voice. "Lawrence Alamain caused all of this. Someday, that man is going to pay for all of it."

Kim just nodded in return. _Someday_. She knew Shane and the ISA had not given up on nailing Lawrence's organization just because he was in jail. She just hoped that whatever happened in the future would not cost the people she loved even more than they had already lost.


	71. Chapter 70

As Steve walked towards his usual spot at the pond, Kayla's words again ran through his head. "I know that until you make some kind of peace with Shane, this is always going to be between us. I think you need to ask yourself if that's what you really want." Steve knew the answer to that question. He did not want anything to come between he and Kayla anymore. He just did not know if he could do what she wanted.

He could tell that Shane still loved Kayla. Steve could see it in the way Shane touched her, the way he looked at her, and the way he had spoken to her last night. _Maybe Kayla can't see it, but I do. _How was he just supposed to forget about that?

As he remembered the events of the night before, Steve's anger and jealousy turned to something else. He no longer saw Shane trying to comfort Kayla; he saw the blood trickling from Kayla's nose and the bruise on her cheek. _You did that. You hurt her_. The unbidden voice in his head kept repeating those words. He knew it had been an accident, just like he knew that Kayla knew that as well and that she had forgiven him instantly. But he could not shake the sight from his mind or the fear from his heart.

Again, words from the night before came to his mind, but they were not Kayla's; they were Shane's. "This isn't done, Steve. You need help and you're going to start working with Kim whether you like it or not. Next time, it might not be something as minor as a bloody nose."

Lost in his thoughts, Steve had almost reached the bench by the pond before he realized that Kim was already sitting there. He stopped suddenly and looked down at her. "Waiting for me?" he asked.

"Maybe." Kim said. She patted the seat beside her and said, "Why don't you have a seat and find out?"

As much as Steve did not want to admit it, he was a little glad to see Kim there. He could not deny that she had been a good friend these last few weeks. He was still very skeptical about her self-confessed mission of helping him, but it was nice to talk to somebody who seemed to understand what he was going through with Kayla and Shane. He smiled and took a seat beside her on the bench.

"Okay, I'm sitting. So were you waiting for me or not?" Steve asked, teasing Kim.

"Let's just say I felt like a little walk and thought you might feel the same." Kim said, a knowing tone in her voice.

"Why would you think that?" Steve asked, a little scared of the answer.

"Well . . . I talked to Shane last night and Kayla this morning," Kim said evenly. "I know what happened last night."

"Oh yeah. What did Mr. ISA tell you?" Steve said, angry that Shane had been talking about him with Kim.

"Shane said that you had a nightmare and that you hit Kayla." Again Kim's voice betrayed nothing.

"It was an accident," Steve said angrily. "You said you talked to Kayla. Didn't she tell you that?"

"Yes. Kayla told me it was an accident," Kim said, maintaining her neutral tone.

"And you don't believe her, right? You think I hit my wife." Steve's voice rose with each word.

Kim put her hand on Steve's arm and, in a kind voice, said, "No, I don't think you hit Kayla intentionally. I believe it was an accident and that you would never intentionally hurt Kayla." Steve immediately noticed the emphasis on the word "intentionally."

"But you think I'm crazy, right? Nobody knows what the crazy man might do," Steve scoffed, standing up. "What's next? Are you gonna tell me to stay away from Kayla? Are you and Mr. ISA going to team up and keep me from my daughter?" Steve's anger kept rising. "It's never going to happen, Kim. Do you understand that? It's never going to happen."

Kim's eyes never wavered from Steve's. After a moment, she calmly said, "I don't think you're crazy, Steve. And I would never do anything to keep you away from Kayla or Stephanie unless I truly believed you were a danger to them. I sincerely hope that never, ever happens. But whether it does or not is entirely up to you."

Something in Kim's tone and the understanding in her eyes caused Steve's anger to deflate. He suddenly felt tired and again took his seat next to Kim. Staring out at the water, he softly asked, "So you really don't think I'm crazy?"

Kim again touched his arm and said, "No. I don't think you are crazy. I think you have survived a traumatic event and you are dealing with a lot of difficult emotions and memories. I also think that those emotions and memories are causing you to say and do things you wouldn't normally say and do."

Steve looked up. "You mean like what happened last night with my nightmare."

"Yes, that's part of it. Nightmares and flashbacks are very consistent with PTSD," Kim said calmly.

Steve looked up. "PT what?"

"PTSD. It's short for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's relatively common in people who've survived traumatic events. I think your . . . time away certainly qualifies." Kim's voice was clinical and professional.

Steve was silent. PTSD. Okay, maybe that's what it was. If it was something with a name, then it was something that could be fixed. "So . . . if you know what it is, then you can fix it, right? I just have to take some medication or something?"

Kim thought for a moment, then said, "It's not that easy, Steve. I wish it were. There are no quick fixes or prescriptions for PTSD."

"So what does that mean? I'll have these nightmares forever? I'll feel this way forever?"

"No. It doesn't mean that. But it does mean that your recovery is entirely dependent on you. It means you have to have the courage to open up to me, or to another therapist if you prefer, and talk about what happened to you. Once you do that, there are some coping mechanisms that I can help you with." Kim paused, looking deep into Steve's eye. "But until you start talking, nobody can help you."

Steve was silent. _How could she expect him to talk about everything that had happened_? So much of that time was almost a blur, some strange combination of a nightmare and reality. What was true and what wasn't? Maybe he did not want to know. Maybe as long as he did not talk about it and did not think about it, he would never have to know the full truth. He could believe that the bad things were never real at all.

Steve looked up at Kim. He could see the compassion and understanding in her eyes. "I . . . uh . . . I . . ." He stopped, then simply said, "What if I can't do that?"

"I know that this is hard for you, Steve. You are just like Bo and Roman and Sh . . ." Kim stopped herself as Steve's eye narrowed. ". . . like so many tough guys, I know. You think that you should be in control of everything and, if you aren't, then you're weak." Kim leaned closer and put an arm around Steve's shoulder. "But the people who love you know that you're anything but weak. Needing help doesn't make you weak, Steve. It takes courage to dig deep inside and let the bad things out. You are one of the strongest, bravest people that I know. You wouldn't have survived everything you've been through if you weren't. So I know that you can do this."

As she finished speaking, Kim stood up. "I know you have a lot to think about. I'll be here tomorrow and every other day for as long as it takes. But that first step is up to you." Kim turned and walked up the path away from the pond.

Steve stayed on the bench for a long time, thinking about what Kim had said. He knew he wanted the nightmares to end. He knew he never wanted to see the pain in Kayla's eyes again and never wanted to do anything that might hurt her again. He wanted, more than anything, to be the husband and father that Kayla and Stephanie deserved. He just didn't know if he could take that first step. He was scared to death of where it might lead, and what he might remember. As he finally stood up to head back to the house, Steve realized there was only one thing that scared him more . . . the thought that if he didn't take that step, it might cost him everything he loved in this world.


	72. Chapter 71

Kayla walked out onto the patio carrying a wriggling Stephanie. As soon as she reached the grass, she put her daughter down and watched her toddle off to explore. She could not help but smile as Stephanie rambled over the grass. She was so much like Steve, always looking for the next adventure and showing no fear of anything she might come across.

That endless sense of adventure and courage was something that had drawn Kayla to Steve from the beginning, along with the big heart he hid underneath the tough-guy persona. But it had also been a source of a lot of fear for Kayla. She remembered the fear she could not shake when Steve was working on the Riverfront Raider case. Steve had tried to convince her that he would be fine, that it was nothing he could not handle. But she had lost him anyway.

Now she had him back, but that fear was still there. She knew they were physically safe at Donovan Manor, but what about when they went home to Salem? How long before Steve found his next adventure? She knew him well enough to know that he would not let things rest where Lawrence Alamain was concerned. She was thankful that Lawrence was in jail, but knew that would not last forever. She gave an ironic chuckle as she recognized that it was her own actions in getting Kim to refuse to testify that helped ensure that Lawrence had not gotten the sentence he deserved.

Kayla also knew the fear was not simply about physical danger. Having lost him once, she doubted whether she would ever be completely free of the fear of losing him again. But she also knew that was something she could not control. Everyday involved some kind of risk, and all she could do was hope and pray that her family would be safe.

No, the fear of losing Steve was not just tied to the physical. It was also a fear of losing him emotionally. It was the fear that led her to lie to Steve about her relationship with Shane. She could tell herself a million times that she did it for Steve, because she did not want to hurt him, but the reality is that it had been as much about her fear and her guilt. Maybe that fear had been irrational - and it had certainly only made things worse - but it did not change how she had felt.

She knew that fear and guilt were still affecting her actions. She had been angry when Kim accused her of enabling Steve's recent less-than-stellar behavior, but there was some truth to Kim's accusation. And Kayla could not deny that a part of her resented that she had been doing all the work in her and Steve's relationship lately. She knew he had a right to be angry with her for lying to him, but it had hurt that he did not seem to even try to understand why she had done it. And it hurt even more that he had seemed to dismiss the pain and loneliness she had endured while he was gone. Yet, instead of confronting him about that, she had accepted his coldness and distance until he was ready to listen. It was not that she did not understand his feelings, but understanding them did not make it hurt any less.

Kayla knew she had also been somewhat unfair to Shane in all of this. She had turned her anger on him after the confrontation when Steve overheard Kayla trying to give Shane back his ring, instead of admitting that she was really angry at Steve for refusing to understand what had happened while he was gone and at herself for not telling Steve the truth earlier. And she had done it again when she yelled at Shane in the aftermath of Steve's nightmare the other night. She knew that Shane's intentions were good, but every time he got involved, it only made things worse. That was not Shane's fault, but she had taken it out on him anyway. And now he had spent the past two days in London, away from Andrew and Kim. Kayla and Steve had effectively forced Shane from his own home.

"Stephanie! Not so far, baby doll. Come back to Mama," she called out as Stephanie wandered to the edge of the lawn. Hearing her voice, Stephanie turned and gave Kayla a big smile than ran as fast as her toddler legs could carry her back towards Kayla. Kayla laughed at the sight and bent down to swoop up her daughter in a hug.

Holding her daughter, she knew things had to change. Kim had been right when she had pointed out that her current actions were nothing more than a short-term solution. If she and Steve were truly going to put things back together, Kayla had to put aside her fears and even her guilt and stop ignoring her own feelings. It might be difficult, but she had to have faith that she and Steve could work through whatever might come of it. Confronting Steve about his comment to Shane had been a start, but only a start.

"There's my two favorite girls," Steve said, startling Kayla.

"Hey . . . I didn't know you were out here," Kayla replied.

"I just got out here," Steve said, as he took Stephanie from her arms and swung her over his head. "I wandered around the house looking for you. I'm not sure, but I think I found the dungeon in the process."

"I doubt it," Kayla said with a smile. "If this place had a dungeon, Shane would have probably thrown you in it by now."

"Good point," Steve said, returning Kayla's smile. Then his smiled faded and he grew more serious as he said, "And I can't say I wouldn't have deserved it. You were right before, I shouldn't have said anything to Shane."

"I'm glad you realize that," Kayla said.

"I'm starting to realize a lot of things," Steve said, bending over to put Stephanie down.

"Like what?" Kayla asked quietly.

"Like how lucky I am to have a wife and daughter who love me. Like how lucky I am to have a second chance to show my wife and daughter how much I love them," Steve said, reaching out to cup Kayla's cheek in his hand.

"We do love you, Steve," Kayla said. "That will never change."

"I know," Steve said simply, leaning down to give Kayla a quick kiss. "And I love you, too. And I know that I've got some work to do to make things better."

"It's not just you, Steve. I have some things I need to work on too."

Stephanie's laugh interrupted them before Steve could reply. Together they turned and found their daughter gleefully digging in the dirt of the flower bed.

"Stephanie! No baby, don't do that," Kayla called, walking quickly towards her as she heard Steve laughing behind her. Picking up a now dirt-covered Stephanie, Kayla walked back to Steve and gave him a mock glare.

"If you think this is so funny, you can give Stephanie her bath and then you can explain to Worthington why his precious flower bed is all dug up," Kayla said, trying to sound stern.

"Fine by me, Sweetness," Steve said, taking Stephanie from her. "I'm not afraid of ol' Worthington. He and I are buds."

With that, Steve headed into the house talking nonsense with Stephanie. Kayla followed behind, giggling the entire time at the idea of her husband and the uptight butler being "buds."


	73. Chapter 72

"You have 15 minutes, Alamain," the prison guard said

Lawrence gave the man a dismissive glance as he walked to his chair opposite the plexiglass barrier and Maurice Marchand. He sat down and leaned close.

"You have some news for me?"

Marchand nodded. "Donovan turned up in London yesterday."

"So?" Lawrence knew Shane had a house near there and he probably conducted ISA business out of England.

"Let me back up. Donovan left Salem a few days before the Egypt raid. Kayla and Kimberly Brady left Salem just two days after the raid. We found no record of them traveling on a commercial flight, but found a flight plan for a private jet from Salem to Oxford, England."

Now that was interesting. "Donovan had both his ex- and his current lover go to England?"

"Yes. I put some surveillance on the house and they spotted both of the women."

"But not our friend from Egypt?" Lawrence could tell where this was going.

"No," Marchand said. "But some inquiries around the local village indicated that Donovan's butler had some men's clothing sent to the house shortly after the raid. There was a special request that the clothes be 'more casual' than Donovan might normally order."

Lawrence slammed a fist on the counter in front of him. "You're telling me that the ISA was behind the raid and Johnson is now at Donovan's house?"

Marchand looked down and appeared almost afraid to answer.

"In ancient times, Maurice, a messenger who brought bad news would be executed," Lawrence growled. _Dammit_, he thought, barely able to contain his fury. It was bad enough to find out that they had lost Johnson, but to lose him to the ISA and find out that Donovan was involved was even more infuriating. Donovan had thwarted Lawrence's plans in Alamainia and was responsible for his current incarceration.

"Mr. Alamain, there's something else." Marchand said that in a very hesitant tone.

"There's more?" Lawrence asked.

"Yes . . . It appears that Dr. Manning has found the cure for the virus."

Lawrence closed his eyes and counted backward from 100 in an effort to stay calm. It took him to 47 before he could ask, "How?"

"It appears she was able to reverse engineer a cure from antibodies to the virus found in the bloodstream of an unknown individual."

Lawrence could feel his blood boiling. "Let me guess. She received the blood with the antibodies shortly after the raid?"

"Less than 24 hours after."

_Just long enough for blood to be taken, examined, and flown to the U.S. from Europe or Africa_, Lawrence thought. _It had to be Donovan_ _again._ "We must assume our friend has told the ISA everything and they've figured out our plans for the Egypt facility." Lawrence thought for a few minutes. "Has the research been transferred?"

Marchand nodded. "The new facilities are operational."

"Good. And you have everyone working towards a December date?"

"Yes, Mr. Alamain," Marchand said. "But I must warn you that we probably will not have done sufficient testing by then."

"That's okay, Maurice." Lawrence sat back in his chair. "I have a few tests of my own in mind."

Marchand looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Lawrence smiled. "Don't worry. When the time comes, you'll find out." _And so will our neighborhood ISA agent._ When the time came, Lawrence was going to have his revenge.

_I'm going to watch Shane Donovan die. And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it._


	74. Chapter 73

Steve walked onto the patio and stopped. The cool evening air chilled him, but it was Kayla who brought him up short. She was sitting in a lounge chair staring out at the broad expanse of sky. She looked beautiful, but there was a haunted look on her face that chilled him far more than the evening breeze.

"Hey baby," he said quietly, not wanting to startle her. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," Kayla said, shaking her head.

"Come on, baby," Steve replied. He knew she was keeping something from him. "I saw the look on your face and that was definitely not a "nothing" face."

Kayla turned away for a moment. Steve stepped beside her and sat down on the adjoining chair.

"Kayla?"

Turning back to face him, Kayla said quietly, "I was thinking about the night you died - or that I thought you'd died. I went to the loft, stood on the roof, and looked at the sky. The stars were so bright and I even saw a shooting star. I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my whole life." She shrugged her shoulders. "Something about the sky tonight reminded me of that night I guess."

Steve felt a lump in his throat as he saw the sadness in Kayla's eyes. He opened his arms saying, "Come here, Sweetness."

Kayla moved over and into Steve's arms. He could feel her shaking and felt her tears on his shoulder. After a few moments, Kayla leaned back and looked at Steve. He reached out and gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, Sweetness. But I'm here now and you never have to be alone like that again."

"You can't guarantee that, Steve. Nobody can." The sadness was still there.

"No, I can't guarantee it, baby." Steve said, his own sadness matching hers. "But you don't have to be alone now. I can guarantee that."

Kayla pulled away from him and returned to her chair. Steve could tell that something was still bothering her. "Kayla? Tell me what's wrong?"

Kayla sighed, then asked, "Do you really want to know?"

Steve was taken aback. "Of course I want to know. How can you ask that? If something's wrong, I want to help you."

"It hasn't really felt that way lately, Steve," Kayla said. "I know it's mostly my fault because I didn't tell you about Shane right away, but since you found out, it's felt like you haven't really cared what I was feeling - not while you were gone and not now."

"Wait a minute, Kayla," Steve said, feeling defensive. "I admit I was upset when I found out, but come on, baby, you can't really blame me for that, given the way it happened."

"No, I can't blame you for being upset," Kayla said, sounding tired. "I know I messed up. I should have told you."

Kayla stood and began pacing around the patio. "But it hurts that you never even tried to understand why I didn't tell you right away. And it hurts that once you learned about Shane, you seemed to think that I just moved on with my life, that I didn't hurt when you were gone, and that what I felt didn't matter."

Steve was startled by Kayla's words. He thought back over the last few weeks and realized she was right in some ways. Once the truth about Shane had been revealed, he had been so focused on his own anger and hurt that he had stopped considering her pain during the time he was gone. He had let her tell him what she was feeling and why she got involved with Shane, but only as a way of explaining her relationship with Shane.

"I'm sorry, baby. I never meant to make you feel that way."

"I know you didn't, Steve. But I need to know that you understand that, no matter what happened with Shane, it didn't change the way I felt when I lost you."

Steve was silent. He wanted to tell her he did understand that but he was not sure he could. He did not doubt Kayla's love for him - not then and not now. But it did not change the fact that Shane had stepped right in and taken Steve's place in Kayla's life.

"Steve?" Kayla said, the question clear in her voice.

Now it was Steve's turn to pace. "I know how much you love me, Kayla," he said, trying to find the right words. "And I don't doubt that you mourned me, baby. I can't imagine how I could survive losing you, so I know that it must have been very painful." He paused.

"But?" There was an edge in Kayla's voice.

"But I can't pretend that it doesn't feel like you found someone to replace me in your life - and in our daughter's life."

Steve watched Kayla turned away, stung by his words. He felt guilty immediately. He did not want to hurt her, but he had to be honest with how he felt. He walked over to Kayla and touched her on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry if that hurts you. I really am. But I can't help how I feel."

"No, I guess you can't," Kayla said. "I'm just not sure what I can do to make you feel differently. I told you what happened. I've tried to explain why and I've tried to tell you - and show you - in every way I can that I never stopped loving you."

"I know you have. And I believe you. But every time I see Donovan, I see the man who protected my family, who cared for you and comforted you, and who provided for you. Everything I was supposed to do but didn't."

"Nobody could ever take your place," Kayla said firmly. "I wish you would believe that."

Steve took a deep breath, trying to release the tension building inside. "I'm trying, baby. It's just hard to do sometimes."

"I know. But I meant what I said the other day." She looked him in the eye. "If you don't find a way to make peace with what happened between me and Shane, it's always going to be between us."

Steve was silent. That was the invisible wall between them, even now. No matter how much he loved her and how much she loved him, he couldn't forget that the man to whom he owed his life had also been the man who had replaced him in his wife's and daughter's lives. He thought back to the way he had taunted Shane in the kitchen that morning. He had been out of line, but he could not help himself. It had been too tempting to make sure Shane was aware that he, himself, had been replaced.

Finally, he spoke. "All I can do is to keep trying, Kayla." He moved to her and took her in his arms, holding her tightly against him. "I'm sorry that I've been so wrapped up in my own hurt that I didn't see yours. Just don't give up on me. Please don't ever give up on me."

He heard a muffled, "I won't." Sighing softly, he pulled her even tighter to his chest and let the feel of her body next to his soothe his fears.


	75. Chapter 74

Shane finished his meetings with Tarrington early. He suspected the remaining time had been intended to discuss the Iraq mission he had declined. Tarrington had hinted as much and continued to encourage him to take the assignment, but Shane was resolute. One mission in the Middle East per month was more than enough.

So here he was in London, with more than an hour to kill until he met Eve and Frankie for high tea at their hotel. With so much time, Shane decided to walk from the ISA offices near Whitehall to the hotel, which was just north of Piccadilly.

It was certainly a nice enough day for a walk, and getting out into the sunshine might help him clear his head.

He had left Donovan Manor two days earlier, shortly after the run-in with Steve in the kitchen. Shane had decided that staying there would only make matters worse. Kim had said he should give Kayla and Steve a "wide berth," and he figured London was wide enough. Had he stayed, he and Steve would have probably come to blows again, and that would have only added to Kayla's stress and made Kim's job harder. Removing himself from that situation was probably the best for everyone involved. _Including yourself_. Shane sighed softly. He knew that leaving Donovan Manor had not been only to make things easier for the others. He also had no desire to endure any further taunts from Steve Johnson.

For the first time in his life, though, Shane felt like a stranger in his own home.

He knew he had to return. Andrew was still at the house and was probably wondering where Daddy had gone. Kim was probably covering for him and telling the boy that Shane was busy working.

Well that was sort of the truth. He had spent the past two days in London reviewing all the active special investigations. Since being promoted to head of the unit, Shane's workload had doubled. Not only was he running his own cases, but he was overseeing numerous cases being handled by other operatives.

Of course, he could have probably postponed that review for another month or two. Or he could have done it from his communications room. _So what if it was just an excuse_? It got him away from the chaos at Donovan Manor and it gave him something to do so he didn't have to deal with being alone again.

In theory, letting go should have been easy. Shane had always known he could hold only a piece of Kayla's heart. They both knew that. That was one of the attractions. As he told her, they worked because they knew the limits of what they could give each other. So why was it so hard to accept?

He knew the answer. Like he told Kayla, he would never be able to find someone willing to accept those limitations. No matter how much he tried, his heart would never fully let go of Kim.

Shane stopped suddenly and looked around. Ironic, he thought, as he realized that he had walked up Great George Street to Birdcage Walk and had turned into St. James Park. He looked out across the lush green grass and the summer flowers. Swarms of people were sitting out on the grass or feeding the geese that wandered along the banks of the central lake.

How many times had he and Kim come here? It had been something of a refuge for Kim during her early visits to London. They had come here initially when he showed her the city, and then she had come here to think about the impact that Emma's return would have on their burgeoning relationship.

Shane remembered standing beside her and saying that nothing could possibly change how he felt for her. _Isn't that a laugh_? What a difference a few years of marriage could make. There had been a time when their love could overcome everything, but it had been unable to overcome her secrets and lies, and his unwillingness to forgive them.

Sometimes Shane wondered why he had been so unwilling to accept that Jeannie was Cal's child. He had accepted Andrew when he thought the boy was Victor's; he had even insisted that biology was an irrelevant factor. Yet with Jeannie, he could not make that same concession. Was it because Kim had lied to him a second time after he had endured such lies about Andrew? Or was his problem something more basic - that he could not forgive Kim for moving on so quickly after she believed Shane had died?

Two months. That was all the time she had spent mourning him. When Shane compared that to how slow Kayla had been to even entertain the thought of another relationship after Steve's death, it was no wonder that he felt betrayed. He wondered if Kim valued their love at all.

Shane sighed as he crossed the bridge over the lake. Yes, his anger was logical - even reasonable under the circumstances - but that did not make the wounds hurt any less.

Reaching the north edge of the park, Shane checked his watch again. He still had plenty of time before he was supposed to meet Eve.

That was going to be a hard for him to take. Eve had moved out of his house a few months earlier, but she had at least remained in Salem. Now she was moving halfway around the world. _You're not ready to lose your little girl_, he told himself. No, how could he? He had lost so much time with Eve because of Gabrielle's deception and now she was moving on.

Shane stopped at a newsagent and picked up the Evening Standard. He could check up on the latest cricket scores while he waited at the hotel. As he started walking again, he glanced down at the paper and came to a sudden halt.

_No wonder I've been dwelling on Kim._

It probably was entirely his subconscious, but how could he have not realized what day it was? August 13. Exactly one year since Kim had walked out. This date was becoming quite the day for farewells. _August 13, 1990 - Goodbye, Kim. August 13, 1991 - Goodbye, Eve._

Shane began walking again, this time even faster. If he got to the hotel early, he might have time to hit the bar. Something told him that he would need a whiskey or two to get through the rest of this day.


	76. Chapter 75

Steve ducked into the kitchen as soon as Kayla headed up the stairs to put Stephanie down for her nap. He knew he had to be quick because he wanted to be out of the house before Kayla came back down. But if he wanted his plan to work, he had a lot of pieces to put into motion.

He quickly found Worthington and filled the snooty butler in on his plans. Worthington pretended to be a little put out by Steve's extra requests, but Steve did not miss the small smile that crept onto Worthington's face as Steve turned to leave. Steve left the kitchen chuckling lightly. He knew his "bud" would come through for him.

Leaving the kitchen, he headed to the pond for his daily talk with Kim. Since his and Kayla's talk on the patio the previous evening, Steve had done a lot of thinking. He knew that he and Kayla still had things to work out - hurts to overcome and put behind them, and adjustments to how they had each been changed by their time apart. As much as he wanted to believe that everything that had happened to them could just be forgotten, he knew it was not that easy. But he also knew he would never stop fighting for their life together.

Steve had told Kayla about his conversation with Kim a few days prior. Well, he had told her part of it, explaining Kim's comments about PTSD, but leaving out Kim's warnings about what might happened if he could not open up and talk about it. Each day since, he had met with Kim down at the pond. Steve knew that it bothered Kayla that he seemed more willing to open up to Kim than to his wife, and he understood that. He hoped that tonight might help make up for that, as well as some other things he had done since his return to his family.

After his talk with Kim, Steve worked to finalize his plan. He checked in with Worthington, who promised to have everything ready. He had filled Kim in on what he wanted to do and gained her cooperation as well. Once Stephanie woke from her nap, Kim was able to get Kayla and Stephanie to accompany her, Andrew and Jeannie for a trip to the stables and around the estate. Steve had begged off, saying he was feeling tired and wanted to take a little nap. With Kayla safely out of the house, he put the final touches on his plan.

By the time he heard Kayla making her way up the stairs, everything was arranged. The small table was set for two, with candles and yellow roses in the center. Steve quickly dimmed the lights and checked the mirror one last time. He took a deep breath and waited.

He did not have to wait long as Kayla opened the door, saying, "Steve, where are . . ." She stopped in mid-sentence. Steve watched as her eyes took in the romantic setting and he smiled inwardly as he saw the love and happiness spread across his face. It was the same look that had changed his life all those years ago.

"It looks like my husband has something planned tonight," she said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. "I guess that explains why Kim was so eager to take Stephanie to the kitchen for dinner."

"Let's just say I asked Aunt Kim if she wouldn't mind babysitting for the evening," Steve said slyly. He turned on a small tape player on the dresser, and then slowly moved toward her.

Steve watched Kayla's face as the familiar strains of "The Rose" began to play. He saw the recognition in her eye and a soft smile on her lips. He reached out his hand and said, "Dance with me, Sweetness?" Kayla nodded and moved into his arms, where they swayed lightly to the tune. As they danced together, scenes from their past ran through his head - the cookbook she had given him that first Christmas, the day he had signed this song to her and asked her to marry him, and the dance they had shared after they had returned from Australia with Stephanie. The love he felt for her left him breathless.

When the song ended, Steve reached over and grabbed one of the roses from the table. He brushed it softly against Kayla's cheek and smiled. "Happy Anniversary, Sweetness."

Kayla smiled. "You remembered."

"Of course, I remembered," Steve said. "Marrying you is something I could never forget. No matter how many times we do it." At that, Steve smiled broadly.

Kayla giggled and leaned in for a kiss. "As long as you remembered, I don't care. I was sure you had forgotten when you didn't mention it today."

Steve returned the kiss and said, "I promise that I'll never forget. I just needed you to think I did so my surprise would work. So are you surprised?"

"Surprised, thrilled, happy, loved . . . you make me feel so many things," Kayla said.

Steve cupped her face in his hands and gave a lecherous grin, "There are many other things I'd like to make you feel right now."

"So what's stopping you," Kayla asked, the desire clear in her voice.

Slowly, Steve leaned down and took her mouth with his. Unlike the playful kiss earlier, this one was filled with love and tenderness, and touched with a passion simmering just beneath the surface.

When the kiss ended, Kayla pulled back. Steve groaned in disappointment as Kayla walked over to the vanity. He watched as she opened a drawer and pulled out a small box.

"What's that, Sweetness?" Steve asked.

"It's my surprise for our anniversary," she answered. "It's a present for both of us, actually." She handed the box to Steve and told him, "Open it."

Steve gave her a curious look, then opened the box. "Oh, baby," he said, seeing the contents. "I can't believe you did this."

"I had a little help from Roman, but I just felt like today was the perfect day to put these back on." Kayla smiled through her tears.

"I can't think of a better present." Steve replied, a tear of his own running down his cheek.

With that, he lifted the diamond engagement ring and wedding band from the box. Taking Kayla's hand, he softly said, "I love you," and placed the rings on her finger. Then he brought her hand to his mouth and gave it a soft kiss. "I know that things aren't perfect, and I know that we have a lot to work through, but I also know we can make it through anything."

Then Kayla took the box from his hand and pulled out a gold wedding ring. Steve stared at the ring, overwhelmed that she had kept it with her all this time. Taking Steve's hand, Kayla placed the ring on his finger. "I love you too," she whispered, her voice choked with the emotion of the moment. "And I don't need things to be perfect. I just need you with me - always."

Staring into Kayla's eyes, Steve felt the weight of the ring on his hand and knew that everything had finally come full circle. Steve leaned down and kissed her again, this time deepening the kiss as the passion built. His hands moved to the zipper of her dress as he felt her hands go to work on the buttons of his shirt. As he led her to their bed, he had a fleeting thought that Worthington was waiting for his call to deliver dinner. But as Steve's lips and hands continued their journey down Kayla's body, he knew that dinner was just going to have to wait.


	77. Chapter 76

Kim checked on Jeannie and looked again at the clock. It was 12:45 a.m. The baby had been fussy, probably due to teething, and Kim had spent the past three hours trying to get her to sleep. Now, Kim was wide awake. She doubted she could fall asleep, no matter how hard she tried.

Leaving the bedroom, Kim walked over to Shane's room. She thought he might have returned from London, but when she cracked open the door, she saw that the bed was empty.

Three days. Three days during which Shane had just disappeared. Kim was furious at him. She had brought Andrew to England so he could spend time with his father. How could she explain that Daddy had more important things to do than see his son?

Kim sighed and decided to go downstairs. She picked up a book of poetry in the library and headed to the sitting room. She sat down on the old leather couch and began to read.

A loud crash jarred her awake, and Kim realized that she must have dozed off when she looked at the grandfather clock and saw that it was after 2:00 a.m. She sat up and looked in the direction of the foyer.

"Shane?"

He was leaning heavily on an accent table by the sitting room entrance. Pieces of what looked like a vase were scattered on the floor. Shane looked up and blinked a few times. "Oh, Kim. . . . Didn't see you there." He looked at the pieces on the floor. "Guess it's not the best month for vases at Donovan Manor, is it?"

Kim stood up and looked at him. His tie was hanging loose and his eyes were bloodshot. "Are you drunk?" she asked.

He stood upright and laughed. "Drunk? Me? Okay . . . just a little."

"You're more than a little drunk." That was obvious. Kim crossed the room, took his arm, and pulled him to the couch. Once he was seated, she said, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Me? I've been in London. Where else?" He said that like it was obvious.

"You've been gone for three days. Have you been drinking all that time?" It was hard for Kim to imagine Shane on a bender. She had never seen Shane drunk like this before, and could actually count on one hand the times she had even seen him tipsy.

"All that time?" Shane seemed to think for a moment. "No. I was definitely . . . yes, definitely sober when I met with Tarrington to see what new and interesting ways he's come up with to screw up my life. And I was . . . yes . . . I was mostly sober when I saw Eve." He looked at Kim. "Did you know my little girl's off to Africa? No idea if she'll be coming back." He waved a hand in the air. "So long, Eve. Been good to know you - for five years. Sorry about all the rest. Couldn't be helped, could it?"

Kim closed her eyes. She could see the pain that Shane had been trying to bury. It wasn't just Eve leaving, though she knew how much Shane loved his daughter; that was just the latest in a long line of hits to his psyche. In the last year, their marriage had ended, she had moved away with Andrew, he had fallen in love with and lost Kayla, and now felt he was losing one of his children. Kim took a seat on the couch next to him.

"You're going to get through this, Shane. It's not the end of the world."

He gave her a crooked smile. "Of course, I'm going to get through this. Story of my entire life - just get through it. Emma dies and I get through it. Fall in love with you, Emma comes back, and I get through it. Then Andrew's kidnapped, you lose our baby. . . and I get through it. You walk out on me, come back, then there's Cal, and you leave again . . . All of that and I bloody well get through it. But . . ." His voice rose. "But what's the blasted point of it all?"

Kim shook her head. He was saying things that she had voiced before - that they never really had a chance. There was always something working against them. "I don't know, Shane."

"When do I get to be happy, Kim?" He leaned his head back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. "That's all Kayla and I wanted - just to make each other happy, just to forget the pain for a little while."

Kim reached a hand out and took Shane's hand in hers. "You've made Kayla happy, Shane. You've made her happier than anyone could have."

He pulled his hand away and leaned forward so his head was resting in his hands. "Then why do I feel like I'm being punished for it? I just wanted to do the right thing." He raised his head again. "Damn, sometimes I wish I'd never seen that picture . . . if I'd just pretended I'd never seen that picture. . . ."

Now Kim was confused. "What picture, Shane?"

"The picture," he said like she should have known. "The picture. Steve - in that compound. If I'd just gone on . . . just acted like I'd never seen it, I'd be home now - with Kay - and we'd be happy."

"It wouldn't have made a different," Kim said. "The ISA would've freed Steve. He would've come back."

Shane shook his head and laughed contemptuously. "You really think Tarrington and the ISA cared one whit about Steve Johnson? To them, he was dead and buried."

"But your mission-"

"That's right, Kim. _My _mission. _My _decision. _My _head on the proverbial platter if it all goes to hell."

Kim was confused. What was he talking about? But then she remembered the way Shane had made her and Kayla promise not to reveal anything. "Shane, are you telling me the mission wasn't from the ISA?"

He laughed again. This time, it sounded half-hearted. "Officially or unofficially?"

"Officially," Kim said. She feared the answer.

"Officially." Shane seemed like he was searching for words. "Officially, there was no mission. Officially, the ISA never invaded Egypt. Officially. . . ." He looked at her with a weak smile. "Officially, Shane Donovan committed espionage by undermining the U.S. military's efforts in the Middle East."

Kim felt the room spin a little. "And that's why nobody can know about the mission? You could go to jail?"

"Give the lady a prize," Shane said.

Kim sat back and let that sink in. The pieces were falling into place. "And if you'd decided not to take that risk, there would've been no rescue mission? Steve would have just been left there?"

"Two prizes." Shane gave her a wink.

"Does Steve know how much you risked for him?"

Shane pursed his lips. "Just that he needs to keep it a secret."

"But did you tell him why?"

"Uh huh, and don't you go doing it." Shane had raised his hand and was pointing a finger at her. Well, it kept waving back and forth in front of her. "Steve knows . . . knows what he needs to know. Keep it secret and all that."

"But he should know the truth," Kim insisted.

Shane shook his head and waved his finger some more. "No . . . He'd just be angry at having to show grati . . . I mean, gratitude. Compared to that, I prefer outright hostility."

Kim thought she understood. Steve could be painfully passive-aggressive, and he already resented Shane. It would only get worse if he felt even more beholden to Shane. But she now understood Shane's frustration and anger. It wasn't just his relationship with Kayla that Shane had risked; he had put everything on the line, and Steve had responded by rubbing Shane's nose in it.

"I'm sorry." Kim reached out and grasped his hand in both of hers. "You deserve to be happy, Shane. Nobody deserves that more than you."

There was a long silence as Kim held his hand, but then he spoke in a voice so pained and brittle that it hurt Kim to even hear it.

"Why'd you leave?" he asked. "Why'd you walk out on me? Couldn't we have been happy again?"

Those were the million-dollar questions, weren't they? And she knew it was only the alcohol that allowed him to ask them. Kim just shook her head. "I don't know, Shane." It had been such a painful time when she left Salem. Shane had been so cold to her. She knew he had reasons after she deceived him about Jeannie, but that coldness had hurt her so much. They both had made so many mistakes. She squeezed Shane's hand and repeated, "I don't know."

She looked at him and realized that Shane was staring at her with an intensity that almost scared her. "Sha-" she started to say, but he leaned close and silenced her with a kiss. Kim closed her eyes. _This feels so right. It's been so long_. She let go of Shane's hand and reached up and pulled him even closer. Her fingers ran through his thick hair, as the kiss continued.

When they finally broke apart, Kim heard him say, "I want you, Kim. You don't know how much I want you."

She wanted him too. For so long, even as she watched him with Kayla, Kim had wanted him. She pulled him toward her as she leaned back and brought her legs onto the couch. Shane looked down at her and the kisses continued.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he nuzzled her neck. "So, so beautiful." Her robe fell open as he untied it, and she felt his body press against hers. "I've been such a fool," he breathed.

Kim was unable to respond; she was lost in the moment. Her heart pounded and she moaned as he began to undress her. _It feels so good. _Barely aware of what she was doing, she tossed his tie aside, unbuttoned his shirt, and slid her hands over his chest. _God, I want this_, she thought. _I've wanted this for so long._

_Even when he was claiming he loved your sister_?

Kim tried to ignore that nagging voice in the back of her head, as the kissing and caressing continued. He knew her body so well that his every touch was a jolt of pleasure. Shane was with her now. He wanted her.

_He's drunk_.

It didn't matter. They would make love here, then go to his room, and in the morning, they would wake up together.

_And if he says it was a mistake?_

Kim winced, even as Shane continued to touch her. She wanted him so much; she never wanted him to stop.

_He said he loved your sister_. _He's using you._

She knew the voice was right, but did it matter? She knew Shane still loved her, even if that love was buried, even if he had pretended otherwise when he was with Kayla. Kim reared her head back as he continued to caress her. "Oh . . . Oh, yes . . . ."

_He wanted Kayla. He wants Kayla._

Kim blinked back tears. She jerked back and pushed Shane away. "Stop," she said. "Just stop."

Shane sat up, confusion evident on his face. "Kim?" His eyes seemed to have difficulty focusing.

_He's drunk_, Kim reminded herself. She shook her head. "I won't be your second choice, Shane. I love you and I want you, but I won't make love to you just because you're hurting because my sister rejected you. That . . . that would be a lie."

"Kim. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off. It looked to her like he was struggling to organize his thoughts. Then, he frowned, as if his mind had cleared. Shane looked down, but nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Kim."

_Not as sorry as me_, she thought. Then she stood, pulled her robe tightly around her body, and ran toward the stairs, fleeing the room as fast as she could. The last thing Kim wanted was to let Shane Donovan see her cry.


	78. Chapter 77

Stephanie's cries forced Kayla out of bed. Pulling on her robe, she glanced at the clock first - approximately 4:50 a.m. - and then over at Steve. She was sure the cries would have woken him, but he was still fast asleep. Between their "strenuous activities" in celebrating their anniversary and a small nightmare, Steve had not had much rest during the night, so she was grateful to see him sleeping soundly, even if that meant he could not use his magic touch to get Stephanie back to sleep. But Steve would not be sleeping for long if Kayla did not take care of Stephanie quickly.

Kayla rushed to the other room and pulled her daughter out of the crib. The diaper seemed okay and Stephanie should not have been hungry that early. Kayla worried momentarily that the baby was sick, but Stephanie's forehead did not seem warm. Maybe she was just teething. Or maybe she had just woken up and was having trouble falling back to sleep in a strange house. That had happened in Salem, first, when they lived at Shane's and, later, when Kayla moved into her apartment.

Whatever it was, Kayla decided to get Stephanie out of the room so she did not wake Steve. Carrying Stephanie, Kayla gave a regretful glance at her warm bed and sleeping husband, and slipped out of the room, deciding to take the wailing baby downstairs.

The sitting room was their best bet, she decided. She liked that room, which reminded her of the library at Shane's house in Salem. She had always felt safe and protected there. With a smile, she remembered how Shane would dance around the room with Stephanie when she had a bad dream and struggled to fall asleep. She could use that help now.

Stephanie was still crying when Kayla reached the bottom of the stairs, and she was surprised to see the light was on in the sitting room as they entered. She walked over to the mantle, cooing at Stephanie to get her to quiet down. Only then did Kayla realize they were not alone.

"Shane," she said in surprise, as he stirred on the couch and opened his eyes. He must have been asleep and woken by Stephanie's cries.

He blinked a couple of times and started to sit up. "Kayla?" He looked around. "What time is it?"

"It's about five in the morning," she said.

Shane ran a hand over his eyes. "Oh . . . I must have fallen asleep."

It was only then that Kayla noticed how disheveled Shane looked. His button-down shirt was open and the shirttails were hanging loose. His eyes were bloodshot and she thought she could detect the scent of alcohol.

A wave of guilt washed over her. She knew Shane was going through a difficult time, but seeing him in this state brought home how difficult it was for him and how much of it was her fault.

He looked at Stephanie, who continued to cry, and then at Kayla. "She have a bad dream?" When Kayla nodded, he stood up and held out his arms. "Can I try?"

For a moment, Kayla hesitated. She knew Steve might not be happy if he knew, but this was about Stephanie, not Steve. She handed Stephanie to Shane.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Shane said in a low voice, as he rocked Stephanie back and forth. He whistled something that, after a minute or so, Kayla recognized as the song from the music box he had given Stephanie. It had an effect. Stephanie stopped crying and looked at him, before she smiled and then yawned. "I think it's working," Shane whispered.

Kayla could not stop herself from smiling. He was so good with Stephanie; he had been so caring and protective of both of them.

Shane continued to whistle and rock Stephanie for several more minutes. Then he looked at Kayla with a sad smile and passed Stephanie back to her. Kayla looked down at her quietly sleeping daughter.

"Uncle Shane works his magic," she said, giving him a soft smile. "You've always been so good with her."

Shane nodded and turned away. "I'm going to miss her," he said.

Kayla reached out a hand and touched his shoulder, but he pulled away. "I'm sorry," she said. "But it's not like you won't see Stephanie. She'll always have Uncle Shane around."

Shane shook his head and turned back around. "You know that's not true." He sighed. "Steve wouldn't understand and I don't want to make any more trouble for you."

"No, he probably won't understand," Kayla said, acknowledging the truth of Shane's statement. "But Stephanie adores you and she shouldn't have to lose you just because so many things have changed." She paused, recalling Steve's words about feeling like he had been replaced by Shane. "It's just going to take some time, that's all."

"I'm not sure time is going to fix things," Shane said, ruefully.

Kayla let out a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry that this has been so hard on you, and I'm sorry that you're paying the price for my mistakes." She paused and then remembered something she had intended on telling him a few days earlier. "Steve told me what he said to you the other day, and I want to apologize. He never should have said that."

"No, it's all right." Shane looked down at the floor. "I was wrong for what I did that night. I should never have touched you."

"You were concerned, Shane. You wanted to make sure I was safe. I understand that now."

"It's not my place to be concerned about you anymore," he said. "That's Steve's responsibility. I know I just made things worse by rushing in."

"Maybe so," Kayla acknowledged. "But we both know it's not that simple. It's like you said - caring for someone is not a switch that can just be turned on or off." Kayla lightened her tone and teasingly added, "And I'll be furious if you ever stop caring for Stephanie. She's still going to need her Uncle Shane to spoil her rotten."

He gave her a sheepish look. "It's good to hear you joke, Kay. I can tell you're happy. That's all I wanted."

Shane paused and Kayla saw that his eyes had gone to the wedding ring on her hand. "I guess everything really has come full circle," he said. "I know how hard it was for you to take that ring off. Now it's back where it belongs."

"And it's because of you, Shane." _Didn't he understand that_? "You got me through the worst time of my life, and then you gave me and Stephanie the greatest gift anyone could give. I have my life back because of you."

Shane shrugged, but said nothing. He turned back to the mantle and ran a hand along the polished wood. There was a long silence before he said, "I saw Eve yesterday. Did you know she's moving to Africa with Frankie?"

"Yes, I heard."

"I always wanted a little girl," he said. "I guess I made a mistake growing so attached to Stephanie. In my mind, I'd pictured raising her - making up for all the time I lost with Eve. Now it feels like I've lost two girls in the matter of a few weeks."

Kayla was not sure what to say.

"Steve's a lucky man," Shane said.

_Yes he is_, Kayla thought. The room became silent as neither of them spoke. Shane continued to study the mantle, his back turned to her. Finally, Kayla decided to broach a different subject. She took a deep breath.

"Kim still loves you," Kayla said. Shane's shoulders seemed to shake and for a moment, she thought he was laughing. "Do you think that's funny?"

"No," Shane said, turning back to face her. There was no sign of amusement on his face. "It's just that that bridge is burned. If not before last night . . . well, it is now."

_What happened last night_? Kayla wondered, but she did not ask. Instead, she said, "I know you still love Kim. As much as I didn't want to think about it or acknowledge it, I've always known that. Like you said, there were limits on what we could give each other and that's because we could never let go of the past."

Kayla paused, wondering if she even had the right to push further given that she had played her part in keeping Kim and Shane apart in the first place. But Steve's return had brought some clarity to her emotions and what had happened over the preceding months, and she owed it to Shane and to Kim to try and repair some of the damage - damage she had helped inflict.

"I got my past back, Shane, when you brought Steve home. And I know you were hurt when Kim left, but the love you two have for each other is strong enough to work through the hurt. Maybe the two of you could be happy again. I saw how hard you fought for each other before. If I hadn't-"

Shane cut her off. "Kay . . . I know you mean well and I appreciate it . . . But there's nothing left for me and Kim."

Kayla felt her frustration rising. _Why can't he see what's so obvious to everyone else_? Before she could protest further, another thought popped into her mind. _Why didn't I see it months ago_? Kayla's frustration was quickly replaced by guilt.

"Look, I'd better go upstairs and get cleaned up," Shane said. "I have to call Tarrington in a little while about a new assignment."

"What do you mean? You're not going to leave?" Kayla asked.

Shane shrugged. "It's something Tarrington's wanted me to take for the past few weeks. I've put him off for long enough. Once I finish arrangements for your cover story for going back to Salem, I'll be leaving."

"Is it dangerous?" Kayla asked, but then she realized how stupid the question was. "Of course, it's dangerous. It's the ISA after all." She waited for him to protest, but Shane said nothing. They both knew he was running away, but she did not want to say it aloud. Finally, she sighed and just said, "Good luck, Shane. Take care of yourself, and please remember that you have a family that needs you to come home safe."


	79. Chapter 78

Steve laughed as he swung Stephanie high over his head. Stephanie's wide smile and giggles told him that she was enjoying this little game as much as he was. It was hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago he had been barely able to lift her up at all. His strength had not returned completely, but the constant stream of food supplied by Worthington and the rest Kayla had insisted he get had him feeling, and looking, much more like the Steve Johnson who had left Salem 10 months before.

The walks he had taken frequently around the estate had grown longer with each day and he had even started jogging a bit. Over the last week, those walks and runs had always ended in the same place - the bench by the pond where Kim was waiting for him. He could not say he enjoyed those conversations, but he was trying to take that first step. Yet each conversation was an internal battle between his desire to get better and his desire to bury everything that had happened. He could tell that Kim was often frustrated, but she remained patient and Steve appreciated her willingness to keep trying.

Kayla had asked him about those conversations a few times, but he had quickly changed the subject. He knew she was hurt that he would not confide in her, but he could not help that - not yet. He knew how hard it would be on her to know the details of what he had been through. He could barely face those memories and he could not imagine what it might do to Kayla. Someday he would explain it to her, but not now.

Stephanie's giggles again interrupted his thoughts. Steve gently set her down and watched as she toddled around the lawn. It amazed him to see how much she had changed and grown just in the weeks they had been at Donovan Manor. She was not exactly talking just yet, but she was definitely trying. She called Kayla "Mama" and he had heard a "bankie" or two. Kayla had told him it was just a matter of time before she called him "Papa" and Steve couldn't wait for that moment.

Steve knew that it would not be long before they would be heading back to Salem. There was no timetable just yet, but with Shane leaving for some mission soon, he knew that their time at Donovan Manor was drawing to a close. In fact, he suspected Shane would be leaving very soon. In the distance, Steve could hear the crack of a gun being firing; Shane doing some target practice in preparation for his mission.

As much as Steve was looking forward to being back in Salem and seeing the rest of his friends and family, he also knew he would miss the quiet time he had experienced here with Stephanie and Kayla. He could only imagine the reactions from the rest of the family when they heard the news, and he was sure there would be very little quiet time when they finally returned home. But watching Stephanie play, he vowed that he would always find time for these moments with his little girl.

Walking over to where Stephanie sat, Steve plopped down on the grass beside her and was rewarded with the smile that melted his heart. He remembered the day she was born and how he had felt a love stronger than anything he thought possible. He remembered the fear when she had been kidnapped and the joy when he and Kayla had found her and brought her home. He had thought that the bad times were over then - that they had survived everything that had been thrown at them - and there were only good times and a long future of love and happiness before them. He had been wrong.

But now he had a second chance. He could no longer take the future for granted. He had to treasure every moment he had with his family, always knowing that it could all be taken away in a heartbeat. Steve also knew that he could not sit back and wait for the next bad thing to happen. He had to be ever vigilant for threats to his family's happiness.

The first thing he would do when he returned to Salem was find out more about Lawrence Alamain. He had no idea why Alamain would have taken him. From what Kayla and Kim had told him, the bomb on the boat had been intended for Bo, not for Steve. So why had Alamain gone to the trouble of faking his death? Once he was home, he would get Bo and Roman to help him figure out the answer to that question.

A little voice in the back of his mind told him that Shane would probably be the best person to help him, but Steve ignored the thought. He was not ready to ask Mr. ISA for help. Roman and Bo would have access to everything he needed and, if they did not, then he would face the issue of asking Shane for assistance.

A noise caught Steve's attention and he looked up to see Kayla walking towards he and Stephanie. Even from a distance her beauty could take his breath away. Steve got up, picked up Stephanie, and began walking to meet Kayla. In his arms, Stephanie saw Kayla. Pointing towards her, Stephanie said, "Mama!"

"That's right, little Sweetness, there's Mama." Steve smile matched his daughter's perfectly.

When they reached Kayla, Steve leaned in and gave her a kiss. Kayla returned the kiss, then said, "So what have you two been up to? Looking for mischief?"

"Who us?" Steve asked with mock innocence.

"Yes you," Kayla responded in a teasing tone. "Don't give me that innocent look. It doesn't work with me."

"Oh it doesn't huh?" Steve looked at Stephanie and said, "I guess Papa better remember that in the future."

Stephanie looked up at Steve and smiled. She reached for his cheek and, touching it, said, "Papa." Then she giggled.

Steve thought his heart would burst when he heard those words. He stared at Stephanie for a moment, then looked over at Kayla who was smiling broadly. Looking back at Stephanie, he said, "That's right, baby girl, I'm your Papa."

"Papa," Stephanie repeated.

"Watch out, Steve," Kayla said. "Now she has a new word, it's all you are going to hear for a while."

"That's fine by me," Steve said. "I don't think I could ever hear that enough."

Steve thought back to those moments in hell when he thought he would never live to hear those words. But here he was holding his daughter, listening to her babble and giggle as Kayla tickled her.

This was all he had ever wanted and the one thing he had believed for so long he could never have, could never deserve - a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, a family. Looking at the two people he loved most in this world, Steve knew it was time to try and put the past behind them and start moving forward. And that meant there was something he had to do and he knew he had to do it today.

Steve handed Stephanie to Kayla. "Why don't you take her in and see if Mrs. Batson has her lunch ready?"

Kayla looked at him, clearly puzzled. "Aren't you coming in with us?"

"Not yet. There's something I need to take care of first." He leaned down, kissed his daughter, and then kissed his wife. "Don't worry, Sweetness, it's a good thing. I'll catch up with you two in a little while."

Kayla gave him a curious look, but didn't question him further. She leaned up and kissed him again and then turned and headed back to the house with Stephanie. Steve watched them for a moment, then turned and set out on his mission.


	80. Chapter 79

Shane turned the M9 in his hand, as he tried to get used to the feel of the gun. He had kept it after the Egypt mission and, frankly, it was a better pistol than the older-model Beretta Eve had bought to replace the gun she stole from his desk on the night of Nick's murder. That was his primary back-up piece to his CZ-75; this would be better.

He glanced at the makeshift targets he had attached to a couple of bales of hay. Target practice was probably the last thing Shane really needed, but it was a convenient way to get out of the house for an hour or two. He had nearly run into Kim earlier in the morning, and the last thing he wanted to do was discuss what had happened a few nights earlier. _You're going to have to deal with it at some point. _But not now. He had to focus on his mission. Tomorrow, he would go to Saudi Arabia for pre-mission briefing and, in a few days, he would meet his ISA contact in Baghdad.

The war might be over, but Shane suspected the country would hardly be friendly to a British citizen. His Arabic should be up to snuff, but just in case, maybe target practice was not the last thing he needed. It might come in handy.

Raising the M-9, Shane aimed at the first human-shaped target. He took one shot that came in slightly high and to the right of center, about where the shoulder would have been. He lowered the gun, and was just adjusting the sights, when he heard a voice behind him.

"Uh oh, looks like the marksman's lost his touch."

Shane turned to see Steve standing about 10 feet away. Steve had a bit of a smirk on his face.

Shane nodded. "Guess so." Then he spun around and emptied the magazine of the remaining fourteen bullets in rapid succession. They formed a tight circle right where the heart would have been. Shane took a look at his handiwork and then back at Steve. "Or maybe not."

"Uh . . . yeah . . . ." Steve held his hands up, as Shane ejected the magazine and replaced it with another. "I come in peace."

"What do you want, Steve?" Shane really did not want another confrontation and, despite Steve's entreaties, another confrontation was likely. "I'm leaving tomorrow and need to prepare." Shane slipped the M9 into the waistband of his trousers, just at the small of the back, which is where he would normally carry a back-up gun.

"Hey, dude, I'm trying to talk here," Steve said as Shane turned and faced the target. He reached behind his back with his right hand, pulled the pistol and swung his arm around as he began firing. The first shot struck just to the left of the forehead - about where the target's right eye would have been - but the remaining shots formed a cluster right between the eyes.

"Whoa." Steve walked forward to get a closer look at the target. "Any one of those would've been a killing shot."

"That _is_ the point," Shane replied. He ejected the spent magazine and walked over to where he had set down the box of ammunition. He began reloading the magazines, then popped one into the pistol. "So, now, what's _your _point?"

Steve hesitated as he looked at the gun in Shane's hand. "You willing to talk or are you just gonna to shoot me?"

"Don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind," Shane said. He flipped on the safety and tossed the gun to Steve. "See what you can do with that."

Steve caught the gun and looked it over. "Nice. Military issue?"

Shane nodded. "Kept it as a souvenir from Egypt. Would've liked to keep the rifle, too, but Captain Nowicki said something about army regulations."

"They'll kill you," Steve joked.

"Not exactly the best thing to say when you have a loaded gun in your hand." Shane tried not to enjoy the uncomfortable look on Steve's face, particularly when Shane removed his CZ-75 from his shoulder holster and checked the magazine on that gun.

"Um, yeah," Steve muttered. He turned toward the five bales of hay, each with a human-shaped target. "Target on the left?" When Shane nodded, Steve raised the pistol and fired five quick shots. They all struck just left of the figure. Steve stopped and grimaced. "Damn."

Shane tried not to smirk. "Didn't the Salem PD teach you anything about aligning your sights? I doubt our eyesight is identical." He watched as Steve looked through and readjusted the sights on the pistol. Shane would have to redo them once Steve was done, but it was a simple matter. After Steve finished, he raised the gun once more and fired another few shots. They all struck the figure, but on the edge of the ribs, to the left of the heart. Steve held up the pistol. "This gun sucks, dude."

"Does it now?" Shane said, returning the CS-75 to its holster and walking over. "Let me see that." He took the gun from Steve, and moved the sights back to where they had been a few minutes earlier, and aimed at the target. Then he fired off five rounds. All hit the target's heart. "Works for me," he said, handing the M9 back to Steve. Shane had to admit that he really was enjoying this.

Steve silently grumbled for a few minutes, before he looked at Shane. "So if you're such an expert, what am I doing wrong?"

"For starters, you're not relaxed enough in the shoulders. And your grip is wrong." Shane held up his pistol and mimicked the way Steve had held the M9. "You're not using your right hand enough to hold the gun securely. That's why you're pulling to the left." As he explained, Shane demonstrated the proper grip.

After readjusting the sights, Steve did his best to copy what Shane had just done. Steve raised the pistol once more and fired the last two shots in the magazine. They struck on the border of the center target, slightly left of center.

"Better," Shane said. "You're still pulling a bit, but you'll get by all right." He pulled the CZ-75 from his shoulder holster and, from an angle, began firing at Steve's target. All of the bullets struck slightly to the right of Steve's best shot. By the time Shane finished, the center of the target was one big hole.

"Okay, dude. Uncle. You win." Steve handed back the M9.

Despite his earlier enjoyment at Steve's discomfort, Shane grew serious as he switched the magazines in the M9. "This isn't a game, Steve. When you get back to Salem, you're going to be in danger. I've never known Lawrence Alamain to do anything to anyone without a reason, so I have to assume he had a reason to fake your death last year. He's not going to let you go so easily, and he won't care if Kayla or Stephanie are in the way."

Steve nodded soberly. "I know." He paused. "And I know they might've been hurt if you hadn't watched out for them while I was . . . gone. That doesn't mean I'm not still pissed at you for what happened with Kayla, but, well . . ." He held out a hand. "Truce?"

_Now that's quite a surprise_, Shane thought. He hardly expected Steve to make such an overture, but at least it was a start. "Truce," Shane said, shaking Steve's hand. Then Shane let go, turned, and fired another dozen bullets from the M9 into the head of Steve's target.


	81. Chapter 80

Steve felt extremely pleased with himself by the time he reached the bedroom. He became even more pleased when he spotted Kayla step out of the bathroom clad only in her robe.

"Little late for a shower, isn't it, Sweetness?" he said.

"Not when your daughter decides Mommy looks better with her hair covered in mashed potatoes." Before Steve could respond, she added, "You laugh and you're a dead man." Kayla suddenly froze, realizing what she had just said. "Oh my god, I didn't-"

"Hey, baby," Steve said. "It's okay."

She still looked mortified. "I can't believe I just said that. I can't believe it."

Steve perched on the edge of the bed. "Come here, baby." Kayla crossed over to him, stopping right in front, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Looking up, he grinned, "It's good we can laugh about it."

Kayla looked at him and her eyes narrowed. "Okay, Steve, something happened that you haven't told me about. Out with it."

She really did know him too well. _Even after all this time, she knows me. _The thought actually made him giddy. "Okay, you win," he said. "I did what you wanted. I found Shane and we declared a truce."

Kayla quirked an eyebrow. _She doubts me._

"I'm serious, baby," Steve said. "We did a little male bonding out on Mr. ISA's firing range."

"Shane trusted you with a gun?" The disbelief was more than evident in her voice.

Steve chuckled. "I was surprised at that too. For a moment, I thought he might shoot me."

"You gave him reason," Kayla said.

"Maybe." Steve had to concede that he had done a few things to piss Shane off. "But it doesn't matter now, Sweetness. We're cool."

"What? You just went outside and fired some guns and that male bonding made it all better?" She eyed him knowingly.

Steve looked down. "Well, there was a little more to it."

"Steve?" Kayla's voice had an edge to it.

"Okay, okay. I . . . I just kind of pretended that I didn't know my way around a gun. Things like not adjusting the sights and using the wrong grip." Steve shrugged.

Kayla shook her head. "So let me see if I've got this right. You ran into Shane on the firing range and you decided to have a little competition?" She read Steve's look, so he didn't have to answer. "And then you decided to throw the competition so Shane would win? Do I have that right?"

_That was pretty much it. _Steve nodded and looked back up. "Yeah, but I gotta admit that, even if I'd been trying, he would've probably smoked me. That dude's scary good with a pistol."

"But you just decided to make sure Shane got an ego boost?" Kayla continued to eye him.

Steve sighed. "Are you mad?"

Kayla looked down at him for a long moment, and then started to giggle. "Steven Earl Johnson . . . you continually amaze me."

Steve broke into a grin. "So . . . I take it that's a good thing?"

"It's a very good thing," Kayla said, her voice growing softer as she leaned down to kiss him.

Their lips met in a long, slow kiss, but Steve knew Kayla well enough to know that kiss was about the only thing that would be slow this time. Her hands were already lifting his shirt free of his pants and he raised his arms above his head to let her pull the shirt away. Meanwhile, he worked his way to the tie on her robe and deftly undid it.

"You're gonna need another shower," he whispered, as he opened her robe. She still took his breath away.

Kayla pushed him onto his back and said, in a voice little more than a growl, "I think we're both going to need one."

Steve grinned as she began working her way to the buttons of his pants. "Oh baby . . . Maybe I'll lose more often if that's my consolation prize."


	82. Chapter 81

Carrying Jeannie, Kim walked into the house. Andrew raced ahead of her and slid down the highly polished wood floors. That had become one of his favorite games at Donovan Manor.

"Careful, Andrew," she called, picturing him sliding smack into a wall or taking out some of Shane's antiques. He had lost enough of those already.

Up ahead, Andrew disappeared into the sitting room and Kim heard him yell, "Daddy!" She reached the doorway in time to see Shane putting a pistol into his shoulder holster. He gave her an uncomfortable glance and she saw him putting a second gun into a metal box.

"Sorry . . . I was just cleaning them." Shane knew that she did not like him having weapons out in front of Andrew, but she also suspected that his discomfort had a lot more to do with their encounter a few nights earlier.

She had only seen him once since that night, a brief exchange in the kitchen when he told her that he would be leaving on a new mission. Kim had refrained from stating the obvious - that he was using a mission, once again, to run away from the mess that was his personal life.

"Shane, we need to talk."

He sighed and nodded slightly, then turned to Andrew. "Champ, why don't you see if Worthington can give you some milk and cookies. Do you remember what we call them here?"

Andrew nodded. "Biscuits."

"Right. So go ask Worthington for some biscuits," Shane said, as he ruffled Andrew's hair and then watched Andrew run out. "I'm going to turn him into a true Englishman one of these days," Shane said, before he turned away from Kim and began to fiddle with the metal box.

"Shane?"

"I'm here," he said. She could see him take a deep breath before he spoke, still with his back to her. "About the other night. . . . I was out-of-line. I should never have touched you."

Kim shook her head. _He really has no clue, does he_? She walked around so she could see his face and said, in a soft voice, "Shane, it's not just what happened. Do you remember what you asked me?"

"No, I'm sorry," he said, but he flushed slightly, betraying his denial.

"You just can't admit it, can you?" _He can't admit he still loves me. _"You might have been drunk, but that was the most honest you've been with me in the past year."

"It doesn't matter, Kim." Shane turned away again. "What we had . . . We can't get it back. There's no future for us. And what happened the other night - all of it - never should've happened and I'm sorry." He took another deep breath. "If it makes things easier for you, when this job's over, I'll . . . I'll pack up the house and move out of Salem. Or you can have the house. It doesn't really matter. There's not really anything left there for me."

Kim thought her heart had stopped. _What is he talking about_? "How can you even say that?" she said, angrily. "Salem's your home. Andrew's there. Our family's there-"

"_Your_ family, Kim," Shane replied. "And they don't really seem to like me all that much these days."

"That's just an excuse, and you know it." Kim stepped in front of him again. "You're going to look at me, Shane Donovan. You're going to look at me when I say this. Your home is in Salem, with your son and the people who care about you. And if you use this as an excuse to abandon them, then you are something I never thought I'd say about you - you're a coward."

Shane seemed to bristle at the very suggestion. _Good_, Kim thought. _I'm getting through to him._

"Now I don't know what this mission of yours is," Kim continued. "But when it's over, you had better come home to Salem. Do you hear me?"

"And if I didn't, you'd probably track me down," he said in a resigned tone.

"I do know a few cops and private investigators." Kim gave him a sympathetic smile. She knew how hard the past few weeks had been. Ever since he had found out Steve might be alive, Shane's life had been thrown into upheaval. She reached out and took his arm, grateful that he did not pull it away. "Why are you doing this mission, Shane? Can't someone else do it? You need some time at home-"

Shane looked away again. "I can't back out now. I told Tarrington I'd do it and I will."

"Should I ask what it involves?" Kim knew the answer, but she asked the question anyway. When Shane shook his head, she sighed. After all this time, she still couldn't get used to the danger. "Can I at least help you pack?"

He smiled softly. "It's all taken care of. I just have to add this-" He motioned to the box containing the gun. "-this to the bag. Worthington took care of the rest."

Before she could say anything else, Shane crossed over to the desk by the entrance to the room. "I spoke with Tarrington and told him you're making progress with Steve. I don't think you'll have any issues with the ISA coming for him while I'm gone. Tarrington said we would reassess things when I get back." Shane picked up a file that was on the desk. "I also had this sent over. It's your cover story. We wanted to come up with an easy way for you to avoid any questions about the ISA rescuing Steve. And remember, it's imperative that nobody learn about that."

Kim understood. After what Shane had told her the other night, she knew it was critical that the ISA's involvement be kept a secret.

"The gist of the cover story is that Steve was found by police in Cincinnati and his prints came through in the ISA database. He had no memory of anything since before he showed up there, so the ISA asked you and Kayla to cut your vacation short and go to Cincinnati. Kayla for obvious reasons; you to help Steve with his memory. He's now remembered everything except what happened since just before the boat explosion."

"Won't people see through that when we fly into Salem from England?"

Shane shook his head. "The ISA plane will take you all to Cincinnati. Then you'll take a commercial flight back to Salem."

"And what about you?" Kim asked. "How will we explain you not being with us?"

"You'll just tell the truth," Shane said. "I got called away on a mission. Obviously, I would have gone with you if I was in England, but I had already left by the time the ISA called about Steve. To be honest, I would have preferred that we just leave it that you all went to Cincinnati from Salem, but I think you and Kayla made a few too many calls home from here."

Kim added the obvious. "That, and we told everyone we were coming to England for a summer vacation before Andrew starts kindergarten."

"Right. . . . Kindergarten. I'd forgotten about that." Shane shoved his hands into his pockets. "Hopefully, I'll be back in time for that, but just in case, I'll say something to him tomorrow morning before I leave."

Kim was about to say how important it was that Shane be there for their son's first day of school, but Jeannie chose that moment to get fussy. Kim soothed her daughter and then looked back at Shane, who was watching Jeannie. She could see the pained expression on his face.

Bouncing Jeannie a little, Kim said, "I'd hoped that this trip would give you a chance to get to know Jeannie a little better. It wasn't that long ago that you said that's what you wanted."

"I know." Shane looked up at the ceiling. "I know that's what I said. And part of me still wants that. Like I said, I find myself drawn to Jeannie. But . . . I don't know why, but I can't put it behind me. She's a beautiful girl - I guess that's a given with you as her mother." He sighed and then looked back at her. "I'm sorry, Kim. I know it's unreasonable, and it's unfair to you . . . Maybe it's just my stupid pride. But I can't help the way I feel."

Kim knew what he was saying. He could never forgive her for moving on, especially with Cal, and Jeannie would always be a painful reminder of that mistake. It did not even matter that Cal was out of their lives, locked away in prison in Alaska. Kim fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes. This was so stupid; he was so stupid. They could have gotten past it if he could just let it go.

Shane seemed to be growing increasingly uncomfortable, so he picked up the box. "I . . . I'd better go put this away and then . . . I have some things I need to do in the communications room. I'd better do those now because the flight is quite early tomorrow." He gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Kim."

Kim hugged Jeannie tightly as he walked out of the room and said to herself, "Not as sorry as I am."


	83. Chapter 82

Kayla and Kim sat on the patio watching Steve play with the kids on the lawn. It had been three days since Shane had left on his mission, and Steve had made a point of spending a little extra time with Andrew, knowing he was missing his father.

"Steve really is great with the kids," Kim said as the peals of childish giggles mixed with Steve's deeper laugh.

"I know," Kayla said. She watched her husband get tackled by Andrew, while Jeannie and Stephanie waited for their turn to crawl on their big playmate. "Steve was always so worried that he wouldn't be a good father, but even from the start I could see that he would be a wonderful father. Remember how good he was with Max?"

"I do," Kim replied. "That's one little boy who will be very happy when we get back to Salem."

"Speaking of that, when do you think we'll be going home?" Kayla asked. Kim had told Steve and her about the cover story. Kayla also knew that final arrangements were being made for the return to Salem.

"Soon," Kim said. "I talked to Tarrington today and everything is almost set."

Kayla sighed softly, feeling a little disappointed. It wasn't that she did not want to go home and see her family, and she knew that Steve was eager to see his family and friends again. But going home meant facing her suspension. It also meant she would no longer have Steve to herself. Work, family . . . reality were about to become a big part of their lives again. Kayla just was not sure she was ready for all of that. And she couldn't help but wonder if Steve was ready as well.

"You don't seem happy about that news," Kim said, eyeing her sister.

"It's not that I'm not happy. I guess I'll just miss the peace and quiet we have here."

"Peace and quiet?" Kim scoffed. "I'd say that our time here has been anything but peaceful - and not all that quiet either."

Kayla giggled. "Okay, so maybe that was an overstatement. I know things have been a little crazy, particularly with Steve and Shane. But even with all of that, I think it's the most time that Steve and I have had together without work or some family crisis interfering since our honeymoon to the Far East." Kayla hesitated, then continued, "And I guess I'm a little scared about what might happen when we all go home."

"Scared of what, Kay?" Kim asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"I don't really know," Kayla said honestly. "I just feel like we're safe here and once we go home, anything can happen."

"Are you worried about Lawrence?"

"No . . . yes . . . I don't know. I know he's in jail, but he's not going to stay there forever. What if he goes after Steve again? I don't think I could survive losing him a second time."

Kayla looked up as Kim reached out and took her hand. "Remember, Kay, last time, nobody knew who Lawrence Alamain was . . . or even that he was involved with Steve's death. He's not going to have that element of surprise anymore. Steve, Roman, Bo . . . Shane, they all know who he is and what he is capable of. They aren't going to let him get a second chance to hurt you or Steve again."

Kayla nodded, "I know. But it doesn't make the fear go away. And it's not all about Lawrence anyway."

"What else are you afraid of?"

Kayla did not answer at first. Instead she watched Steve swinging Stephanie over his head, while Andrew held Jeannie up on her wobbling legs. Steve caught her eye and gave her a smile. Kayla wanted nothing more than to capture that moment and that smile and keep it with her forever. She could not help but feel that it would be a long time before they would feel so carefree again.

"Look at Jeannie, Kim. . . . She's almost ready to walk."

"I know," Kim replied. "It's hard to believe she's almost a year old. Almost as hard as it is to believe that Andrew will be starting grade school this year."

"Oh, wow. The first day of school," Kayla said with a smile. "Do you remember the fuss that Ma and Pop made every year on the first day of school?"

Kim giggled. "Yeah, I do. They would make us all line up for pictures, and Mama would always make Roman and me try to keep you and Bo clean and presentable until we got to school."

"Hey! I wasn't the problem; Bo was," Kayla protested. "He was the one who always dared me to climb some tree or ride through a puddle with my bike. I couldn't reject a dare."

"Uh huh," Kim said, raising an eyebrow. "From where I was standing, you two were both impossible."

Kayla laughed. "I suppose so. But from where I was standing, you and Roman were far too strict."

"Oh no," Kim said. "That was all Roman. He was the one that always the stickler for the rules."

"Well, some things never changed do they?" Kayla said rhetorically, a smile on her face. She looked at her older sister and they both began laughing. Roman had been Mr. Responsibility for their entire lives.

As their laughter eased, Kayla again had that feeling of wanting to capture the moment. Perhaps Kim sensed that because she turned to Kayla and said, "You never answered my question. What else has you afraid of going home?"

Kayla hesitated, trying to collect her thoughts. "I'm not really sure, Kim. I've got Steve back and I feel like we should be able to go home and pick up our lives again. But so much has changed . . . I've changed. He's changed." Kayla paused again, then finally gave voice to her fears. "What if too much has changed? What if we go home and everything is different?"

"Oh, Kay," Kim said with a small smile. "You and Steve were meant to be together. You've worked through so much here and you've always found a way to get through whatever was thrown your way. No matter what else might have changed, that clearly hasn't."

"I hope you're right . . . I know you're right," Kayla said, willing herself to believe it. "But I just can't shake this feeling that going home is going to be a lot harder than Steve thinks it will be. Not just for us, but for him."

"There is definitely going to be an adjustment," Kim said, her voice assuming a professional tone. "But I'll be there to continue to help him and I'll have more resources back in Salem."

Kayla fought back the bitterness that rose up at Kim's words. She was grateful for Kim's help, but she hated the reminder that it was Kim, not Kayla, who was helping Steve through his emotional problems. Her bitterness was undeserved and more than a little irrational, but it was there anyway. But it was her problem to deal with, not Kim's and not Steve's.

"I know you'll be there, Kim," Kayla finally said, forcing a smile. "And I'm sure with your help, Steve will be just fine."

Before Kim could respond, Kayla stood up and said, "Maybe we better go rescue my husband." Kayla could see Steve sitting on the lawn with three tired children in his lap.

"That's looks like a good idea," Kim said, rising as well. "I see a quick lunch and some long naps coming up."

"That will take care of Steve, but what about the kids?" Kayla asked, laughing. Kim joined her laughter as they walked out the lawn. Kayla smiled at Steve and felt her pulse quicken when he gave her that smile she loved in return. _Maybe his naptime can wait a little longer_.


	84. Chapter 83

"Keep going!" Shane yelled from the back seat of the Mercedes as it careened through the Baghdad street. He looked out the back window at the two Opel sedans as they turned the corner in hot pursuit. Shane turned back to the driver. "They're gaining on us."

_This is a bloody train wreck_, Shane thought, as the car took a sharp right and he was flung against the side door. He glanced over at the other man in the back seat, Ahmed Salim, the scientist he was trying to get out of Iraq. Salim's normally dark skin was an ashen grey and he was reciting something that Shane recognized as coming from the Koran.

"We're almost there," Shane told Salim in Arabic. He silently hoped that wasn't a lie and, once again, cursed the ISA analyst who said that Salim was not being watched by the Iraqi secret police. The two cars behind them said otherwise.

"How much farther," he called in English to the driver, a young ISA agent named Malik Abbas. Malik had been born in Baghdad and seemed to know the lie of the land quite well. Shane also wondered why he had instinctively gone back to English when Malik spoke fluent Arabic. _Stress, most likely_.

"Just a few more blocks," Malik called out, as the car took a hard left, propelling Shane into Salim.

Sitting back up, Shane looked again out the back at the first car chasing them. He spotted a man leaning out of the passenger-side window with a gun in hand. "Get down!" he yelled, switching back to Arabic, as he shoved Salim toward the floor. Shane heard the sound of breaking glass as the back window became a spider web. He glanced up and saw a hole in the passenger seat where the bullet had penetrated.

The Mercedes took another sharp turn and Shane raised his head high enough to glance out the front. The airfield was in sight. "You get Salim into the chopper," he yelled. "I'll get it started."

There was a wooden swinging barrier at the entrance to the air field, but Malik didn't stop. The Mercedes tore right through it, as the wood splintered and flew in all directions. The car did not stop until it was about ten feet from the helicopter.

Shane jumped out of the car, dragging Salim with him. Malik was out too and grabbed the scientist, while Shane raced for the helicopter. Their pursuers were close behind and Shane heard the squeal of brakes as their pursuers' cars came to a stop.

_Not exactly much time for a pre-flight check_, Shane thought. He did what he could as the rotors built up speed. Behind him, Malik was exchanging fire with the Iraqis. "Hang on," Shane shouted, as he jerked the cyclic and the helicopter lurched up and forward. It accelerated quickly and soon they were away from the pursuit and heading south from Baghdad.

For the first time in the past hour, Shane felt like he could breathe. Behind him, he could hear the sound of someone retching. A minute later, Malik sat down in the seat next to Shane's. "Our friend's just been a little sick. Guess he wasn't really prepared for this."

"Who was?" Shane said. "When I find that 'there's nobody watching Salim' analyst, someone's head will roll." He asked Malik, "You okay?" This was one of the young agent's first assignments. Sometimes Shane forgot that he was only 21. _Still a kid, really._

"Fine," Malik said. "How long until we reach the Saudi border?"

Shane checked the controls for the current speed. "About an hour and a half." _Still a long way to go_, he thought. He heard more retching from the back. "Do me a favor," Shane said to Malik. "Go check on Salim. After what we just went through, I'd hate to have him die from hacking up a lung or something."

Malik chuckled as he disappeared into the back. Shane continued to keep the helicopter flying at top speed, but he kept his eyes moving, scanning the airspace around them. Something told him that Saddam Hussein was not about to lose his top nuclear scientist without more of a fight. Just to be on the safe side, Shane pulled on his safety harness and strapped himself to the pilot's seat.

Twenty minutes later, Shane spotted the jets in the distance. _Damn, sometimes I hate being right_, he thought. The planes were making up ground on them quickly, flying far faster than the helicopter's top speed.

"Hang on back there," he yelled, as he began swinging the cyclic from side to side in the hope it would make the helicopter a more difficult target. He knew they had little chance of evading the jets. Shane was a decent helicopter pilot, but nowhere close to being that good. Flying in the mountains to look for some missing people was one thing; evading jets with heat-seeking missiles was something entirely different. However, he also did not relish the thought of landing the chopper in the middle of the Syrian Desert, so Shane looked out at the broad expanse of brown sand, hoping, at least, to spot an oasis or some sign of water. _Nothing._

_Time's up_, he realized as one of the planes buzzed the chopper. The jet wash nearly caused Shane to lose control as the resulting turbulence buffeted the helicopter. In the back, someone cried out in pain.

He swung his head around, trying to spot the planes, but they were nowhere in sight. _Not a good sign. _Shane kept the helicopter moving south and tried to fly closer to the ground in the hope it would be too low for the planes. "Malik," he yelled. "Get up here and help me spot them."

Malik poked his head forward between the two front seats, looked around for a moment, and then shouted. Shane's head turned to the right and he spotted one of the planes bearing down on them. He pushed the cyclic down, just as he heard the roar of its guns. The jet pilot was smart enough to know he didn't need a missile to take down the helicopter.

_That pilot's a pretty smart man_, Shane thought, ruefully, as the helicopter was rocked. Shane had no idea what the bullets had hit, but he knew it was important. The tail end of the helicopter dropped while the front end pitched upward. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Malik disappear from sight. Shane fought the controls, trying to stabilize the chopper, but it was no use. The helicopter spun in a circle in the air and began a freefall toward the ground.

Shane pulled back on the cyclic with all his strength trying desperately to slow the fall, but it was futile. The chopper plummeted, tail first, and Shane's last thought before they crashed was that maybe they would luck out and hit a soft spot in the desert sand.


	85. Chapter 84

Kim walked out of the house and headed down the path towards the stables. Andrew and Jeannie were having one last lunch with Mrs. Batson and Steve and Kayla were finishing their packing. Kim decided to use the time she had for one last walk around Donovan Manor before they all headed back to Salem _Via Cincinnati_. Kim chuckled a bit at the thought. Kim knew the cover story was necessary, but the idea of flying a private ISA jet to Cincinnati only to switch over to a cramped commercial flight for the short hop to Salem made her roll her eyes a little.

As she wandered down the path, Kim could not help but think that this might be the last time she would ever visit Donovan Manor. It was possible there might be visits with Andrew, but he was getting older now and it would not be long before he would not need Kim to accompany him on any travels to England.

She had so many memories wrapped up in these vast grounds. She and Shane had made love for the first time in that house, and had spent hours exploring the estate both when he had first brought her here and on their second honeymoon. Every part of the estate seemed to hold another memory - a reminder of a moment they had shared here.

_Maybe it's a good thing we're leaving then_, Kim thought silently. She did not need any more reminders of the past. She needed to find a way to move forward with her life and let the past go. So that's what she would do. She would go back to Salem and focus on the future.

_And what exactly might that be_? Kim asked herself. She had returned to Salem six months earlier with the hope of reconciling with Shane. Instead, she had found him kissing her sister and showing no interest in putting the tattered pieces of their relationship back together again.

Having been spurned by Shane, she had jumped wholeheartedly into the case against Lawrence Alamain. She could prove that she did not need Shane Donovan anymore - that she was a confident, self-reliant woman. It had not quite turned out that way. Instead, she had let her hurt, her anger, and her desire to be wanted drag her deeper and deeper into a relationship with Lawrence - to the point that she had almost actually believed his lies. Well, Lawrence was in prison now and, at least, she had played some small role in that.

The sweet smell of hay intruded on Kim's thoughts as she walked into the stables. She was not sure why she had come here, only that this is where her feet had taken her._ Not the best place to leave old memories behind, Kimberly_. As if it were yesterday, the memories of making love to Shane in these same stables came rushing back. Things had been so perfect for them then.

Unbidden, her thoughts shifted to the night Shane had returned from London. It may have been the alcohol, but he had been so open and vulnerable that night. Maybe she should have let him make love to her. She had wanted him so much. Maybe they would have finally broken through those walls between them and found a way to make things work again. Shane would have never accepted the mission and maybe they would be headed home to Salem together.

_Now you are really dreaming, Kim_. One night together was not going to solve all of their problems. It would not make Shane forget Kayla or make him forget what had happened with Cal. And it would not make Kim forget the way he had turned so cold before she had left Salem or the way he had turned to her sister. All of those issues would have still been there the next morning. She knew she had done the right thing by putting a stop to things. But it did not make her regrets any easier to deal with.

Suddenly, Kim felt a chill run through her. Her breath caught as she recognized it instantly. Shane was out there somewhere and he was in danger. She always knew when things were bad. She wasn't sure how, but she always knew. Kim took a deep breath and said a silent prayer for him. Maybe they would never be together again, but she did not know what she would do if Shane never came home. He was too much a part of her life for her to ever fully let go.

For a moment, Kim almost hated Shane for that. How could she ever move forward with her life when he had that kind of hold on her? Why couldn't she just see him as Andrew's father and a friendly ex-husband?

Kim knew why. It was because no one had ever loved her like Shane had and she had never loved anyone like she loved him. No one in her entire life had ever made her feel as safe, as loved, or as accepted as Shane had. She had never known a peace of mind and soul as she had when she was lying in his arms in their bed. And she also knew that nobody else could ever make her feel that way again.

But she had to find a way to accept that it was truly over. Shane had tried to make that clear to her after she had returned to Salem, but her hope had never completely died. And, as much as she did not want to admit it, she had felt that hope flare when Steve had returned. That little voice in the back of her mind had said, _Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's our chance_. But that hope had been dashed quickly, and whatever had remained was extinguished when he had said his goodbyes before leaving for the mission. Even with Cal locked away in Alaska, Shane was never going to accept what had happened with Cal. Kim had hurt Shane too badly and he was never going to lower his defenses to her again. She knew it. Now she had to figure out how to live with it.

The now familiar chill swept over her again. _Please be careful, Shane. Please come back to your family_. She knew that would be her mantra until she knew he was safe again.

Kim checked her watch and knew she needed to be heading back to the house. She wanted to make sure everything was packed and ready for the trip home. She took one last look around the stables, then straightened her shoulders and headed out the door. She was a survivor and she had survived worse than a broken and shattered heart. Kim would go home to Salem, return to work at the clinic, and focus on her children and her work. She would stop pining over Shane Donovan, even if she could never stop loving him.


	86. Chapter 85

For a moment, Shane could not understand why it was still dark when he opened his eyes. Then he realized he was lying face down in a pile of sand. It took him three tries to raise his head; the first two attempts failed on account of the world spinning too fast.

Finally, Shane was able to rise to his knees, though only with significant effort. He brushed some of the sand from his face, and it came away a mix of brown sand and sticky red blood. Dimly, he recalled, amidst the sound of shattering glass and crunching metal, a ripping sound as his harness tore and he was propelled forward out of the pilot's seat.

Pressing his hand against the gash on his forehead to stem the bleeding, Shane looked around. The helicopter was about ten feet away from where he had landed, and he started to rise, but then remembered something. He fished into the interior pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a little metal cylinder. There was a button on top that he pushed, and he watched a small red light begin to flash. If anyone was monitoring the ISA radio frequencies, they would pick up the distress signal and hone in on its location.

_I sure hope someone is listening._

Pulling himself to his feet, Shane staggered to the chopper. The tail had been crushed, the front glass had completely shattered, and the right side had been sheared away, exposing the main cabin.

Shane saw Salim first. The scientist was groaning, but his safety harness had not torn. In English first, Shane asked if he was okay, then remembered the man did not speak English. Repeating the question in Arabic, Shane received a very slow, slightly dazed nod. Good enough for now.

Malik was in much worse shape. He had not been strapped in and had been thrown against the back of the chopper when it fell. Shane made his way to the back and crouched down next to the young agent. His eyes were closed and he was breathing in short bursts. Shane could see blood trickling out of the corner of his mouth.

"Hang in there," Shane urged as he tried to check the young agent's injuries. It looked like the left side of his body had slammed into the rear of the helicopter when it crashed. The left arm hung awkwardly and was definitely broken. Shane felt along Malik's side and he cried out in agony, undoubtedly due to some broken ribs. Malik's cry turned into a cough and he spit up more blood. Because Shane could see no visible wounds to the chest, he figured that one of the broken ribs had punctured a lung.

Unfortunately, it was impossible to do the best thing for Malik - keep him completely still and get immediate medical attention. They had to get as far away from the helicopter as quickly as possible. By now, the jet pilots would have reported the crash location and Iraqi soldiers would be on their way by helicopter or ground vehicle. Shane prayed it was by ground.

He looked around the chopper and saw that Salim had finally figured out how to remove his safety harness. Now that he was free, the scientist walked over and looked at Malik. "We must leave him."

Shane shook his head. Leaving Malik was nothing less than a death sentence. Even if he lived long enough for the Iraqis to arrive, they would either shoot him or drag him back to Baghdad to be executed. In Arabic, he told Salim, "Check for a first aid kit and any emergency supplies. There has to be something." Nobody would be foolish enough to fly a helicopter in Iraq without some emergency supplies. Turning back to Malik, Shane said, "Hold on. We'll figure something out."

_The safety harness. Of course._ Shane stepped back out into the afternoon sun and walked over to where he had landed. The remnants of his safety harness were on the ground. He could do something with the straps.

When he returned to the chopper, he was met by Salim, who was carrying two canvas shoulder bags. Shane stopped and began searching them. One was the first aid kit. The other contained two liter-sized, sealed pouches of water, two emergency ration bars, a flashlight, a compass, and two ponchos - _because ponchos are exactly what you need in the desert_. No gun. No knife. Not even a flare.

Digging through the first aid kit for painkillers, he came away only with a bottle of aspirin. _That's going to have to do_, Shane thought. "You're going to have to take these dry," he said to Malik as he crouched down and placed two of the aspirin in the young man's mouth. After Malik swallowed them, Shane took the harness and slid the remains of the shoulder straps under his good arm and around his right side.

With a sigh, Shane began to slide the straps underneath Malik. "Sorry, there's no bloody way to avoid this," he said. "It's going to hurt like hell." Malik let out a loud cry as he was moved, then fell silent and his body went limp. Shane felt for a pulse and found one; the young man had just passed out from the pain. That might have been for the best, though, because he wouldn't feel any more pain as Shane finished putting the straps in place and tying Malik's broken arm tightly against his body.

Once Malik was settled, Shane found some gauze and a bandage and tried to cover the wound on his own head. His hair was matted with a mix of blood and sand, and he could not see what he was doing. However, after a few attempts, Shane was satisfied that the bandage would hold for the time being.

Turning back toward Salim, Shane switched back to Arabic. "We're going to have to carry him for now." At Salim's dubious look, Shane hissed, "It's not up to debate. We're not leaving him." He motioned to the first aid and emergency kits. "You carry the bags. I'll get Malik."

Malik had woken, but his eyes were unfocused. "Sorry," Shane said, apologizing once more, as he lifted the young agent to his feet. Malik gasped in obvious pain and then coughed up some more blood. Shane wrapped an arm around him, trying to avoid jostling his arm or ribs, and urged him to move. "Come on, Malik. One step at a time."

Very slowly, they moved out of the helicopter and into the midday sun. For the first time, Shane realized just how hot it was - well over 100 degrees. Didn't that just seem to sum up his luck? He had to pick the end of August to crash-land in a desert.

Shane checked the compass and made sure the three men were heading south. It was slow progress, but, thankfully, he saw no sign of pursuit. Shane decided they would try to put as much space between themselves and the helicopter before he found a place for them to escape the scorching heat. Then they would try to continue on during the night.

He felt inside his jacket for the ISA signaling device, and took a small amount of reassurance when he felt it. Shane just prayed someone out there was listening.


	87. Chapter 86

Kayla had just finished packing the last bag when Steve came out of the bathroom with his shaving kit. She watched as he added it to his duffel bag and zipped it up.

"It looks like we are all ready to go, Sweetness," Steve said, as he picked up his duffel and deposited it by the door where Kayla and Stephanie's bags were already waiting. "So why don't we use some of the extra time we have to take Stephanie for a little walk outside?"

Kayla almost said yes, but she knew they needed to talk before the car arrived to take them to the airport. She walked over to him, took his hand, and said, "That's sounds great, but there's something I really need to talk to you about before we go."

She saw the concern appear on Steve's face as he asked, "Is everything okay? Are you sick or something?"

Kayla shook her head. "I'm fine . . . and so is Stephanie," she added before he could ask the obvious next question.

"Okay. Then what do we need to talk about that can't wait for a 10-hour plan ride?" Steve asked.

"It's something that I want to talk about in private, without interruptions," Kayla responded.

"You're starting to worry me here, baby, so just tell me whatever it is."

Kayla took a deep breath and began pacing. "Do you remember when Shane told us that they had found the cure for the virus? He was mad because I hadn't told him that Bo was sick."

"Yeah I remember." Steve's tone was sharp.

"I didn't tell Shane, or anyone but Kimberly, because Bo threatened to disappear if anybody found out. He didn't want the family watching him die, and he really didn't want Carly feeling sorry for him." Kayla remembered Bo's determination and desperation to keep his condition a secret.

"That sounds like Bo. He always was stubborn and hard-headed," Steve said.

"Just like somebody else I know." Kayla chuckled, then turned serious again. "A while ago, Bo was admitted to the hospital and they took his blood. Bo knew that if they tested the blood, they would find out that he had the virus." She took another deep breath, then plunged forward. "He begged me to stop the test and swore that, if Carly and the family found out, he'd disappear for good."

"So what did you do, Kayla?" Steve asked, the concern in his voice evident.

Kayla closed her eyes for a moment, then looked straight at Steve, and said, "I switched Bo's blood sample with my own blood. Obviously, the test came back negative for the virus."

Kayla watched closely for Steve's reaction. He did not say anything for a moment, then nodded, and said, "Okay. So you did what you thought you needed to do to help Bo. I can understand that. It's not like I've never covered for Bo before."

Kayla knew that Steve was thinking of the same thing she was - of how Steve had covered for Bo when he found out that Bo was the Riverfront Raider. It had been an act of friendship that had so many unintended consequences.

They both remained lost in their thoughts for a moment, before Steve spoke. "I'm guessing that isn't all to this story though, is it?"

Kayla gave a little smile and shook her head. "No. There's more. A little over a week after we got here, I called the hospital to check on the progress in the lab. I found out that Bo was in the hospital and the blood switch had been discovered."

"That's when you told Kim and me about Bo being in the hospital, but you thought there would be a cure soon?" Steve waited for her to answer.

"Right," Kayla said. "I also talked to Neil that day and he told me that there was an investigation and I would have to appear before the board. I . . . I told him that I couldn't come back to Salem for a while, and he agreed to postpone the board hearing until I returned. I've been effectively suspended for the last few weeks, pending the hearing." Kayla braced herself for Steve's response.

"You've known you were suspended from your job and facing a hearing for weeks and didn't tell me!" Steve exclaimed. "How could you keep something like this from me?" Steve stalked around the room, his anger clearly growing. "What the hell happened to you, Kayla? You're switching blood tests at the hospital and keeping secrets from me. You were the one that always insisted on us being honest with each other. What happened to that?"

Kayla felt her own anger rising, "What happened to me is that my life was destroyed. I lost my best friend, my husband, and my future in a single moment. All that honesty, always trying to do the right thing, always putting everybody else's happiness before my own . . . what did it get me? It didn't stop me from losing you, it didn't bring your killer to justice, and it didn't stop the pain I felt every single day that I woke up without you."

Taking a deep breath, Kayla tried to calm herself. "I did what I did because I couldn't lose Bo too. Not after losing you. I couldn't let him disappear when I knew that we would find a cure to that virus. And I didn't tell you because there was nothing you or I could do about it until we went home. What would have been the point? So we could sit and stew about it for weeks? Maybe I wanted to just enjoy this time for as long as we had it."

Kayla walked to where Steve was standing and put her hand on his shoulder and said, "I didn't keep it from you because I didn't want you to know or because I thought you couldn't handle it. I didn't say anything because of me, because I didn't want to deal with it until we had to. Can't you understand that?"

Steve turned and looked at her. "Yeah baby, I can understand that. But I hate not knowing if you are being honest with me. I hate wondering if there is always something you aren't telling me."

"I think that was always my line." Kayla chuckled softly, then reached up and stroked his cheek. "I know you're not happy with me, but I promise there are no more secrets." She pulled her hand away and looked up at him. "Can you say the same?"

Steve's eye widened in surprise. "I'm not the one keeping secrets here, baby."

"That's not entirely true and you know it, Steve. You're not telling me anything about your sessions with Kimberly, or what you remember about your time away. Whenever I try to ask, you change the subject or just tell me it's nothing important."

Kayla watched as Steve shifted uncomfortably and turned away from her. She said, "I know this is hard for you, Steve. But I don't like feeling shut out from a part of your life anymore than you like feeling that way about my life. I just don't understand why you can talk to Kim, but you can't talk to me."

Steve turned back, a surprised look on his face. "It's not like that, Kayla. It's just that - -"

A knock at the door interrupted him. Steve reached over and opened the door, finding Worthington on the other side.

"Excuse me, Master Johnson. The car has arrived and I am ready to take your bags to the car."

"Sure," Steve said, stepping aside to allow Worthington and the driver to retrieve the bags. "Please tell Kim that we'll be down in a minute."

"Of course, Master Johnson." Worthington and the driver walked out of the door.

When the door closed again, Steve turned back to Kayla. They shared a long look, both knowing that things were still unsettled between them, but also knowing that any further discussion would have to wait.

"I guess I better go get Stephanie from Mrs. Batson," Kayla finally said. She walked over to Steve, leaned up, and gave him a slow, lingering kiss.

"I love you with all my heart," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "No matter what happens and what we have to deal with when we get back to Salem, never forget that."

"I won't," Steve said huskily. "I love you too . . . so much. Don't you forget that either, Sweetness."

"Deal." Giving him a smile and one last quick kiss, Kayla headed out the door to find her daughter.

Downstairs, Kim was waiting with Jeannie and Andrew and Mrs. Batson was holding Stephanie. Kayla retrieved her daughter and waited as Steve joined her. They said their goodbyes to Worthington and Mrs. Batson, and headed outside to the car.

As Kayla approached the car, she paused and took one last look around Donovan Manor. For all the upheaval that had occurred here, it had been a sanctuary of sorts for the last month. This would always be the place where she and Steve found each other again, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. She was returning to Salem whole and complete in a way she had not been in a long, long time. No matter what they faced in Salem, she and Steve would face it together. And, in the end, that was all that really mattered.


	88. Chapter 87

Shane found himself bearing more of Malik's weight as they walked through the desert night. The hours of walking were taking their toll. The young man was growing weaker and Shane knew if they did not get rescued soon, Malik would die.

Even the short rest they had taken after a few hours of hiking through the afternoon had done little to help his recovery. There was little water to go around and Shane had rationed it carefully; they had no idea if anyone had received their distress signal or where they might find water in the future.

As Salim moved in front, he kept muttering in Arabic. During the rest break, Salim had tried to argue that the water would go farther if shared only between two, not three. Shane knew Salim disagreed with the idea of bringing the injured man, but he was growing tired of hearing the scientist say it. And Malik certainly did not need to keep hearing that "he was going to die anyway."

Even if it was probably true.

Sighing, Shane continued walking. He stumbled as they moved from soft sand to harder, dry soil. He shook his head, wondering yet again why he had taken this mission. _Because you were humiliated by Steve, uncomfortable around Kayla, and embarrassed by what you did to Kim_. There was a life lesson in that, he thought. Never take an ISA mission just because your life sucks.

Oh, who was he kidding? He had made a career out of taking ISA missions to escape dealing with matters at home. When Emma died. When his parents died. When things got bad between him and Kim. The list went on and on.

_That doesn't make it any less stupid._

_No, it doesn't_, he thought.

Next to him, Malik groaned. "Just a little farther," Shane lied. They still had a few hours of walking before he would let them stop, and then he would retrace their steps and, using one of those ridiculous ponchos, would try to wipe away any trace of their footprints.

In the back of his mind, Shane tried to ignore the nagging doubt that, even if their distress signal was heard, nobody would respond. Wasn't that part of the ISA way? Disavow the mission if an agent was captured. If the ISA decided that capture was inevitable, they might just cut their losses now.

Shane silently hoped Tarrington realized what a potential propaganda disaster it would be for alleged Western spies to be captured in Iraq. That was becoming Shane's biggest hope - that, as a political matter, the ISA could not abandon them.

"Just a little farther," Shane repeated, as he staggered under Malik's weight. "Just a little farther." That was becoming his mantra. With each step, he thought, just a little farther. Almost as if saying it enough would make it true.

He tried to focus on something else. Family. He tried to picture his children. Eve in Africa. That was pretty hard to picture, he admitted. How was she handling the culture-shock?

Andrew was easier to imagine. Was he still at Donovan Manor with Kim? If he was, he was probably riding his chestnut pony under Kim's watchful eye. She was smiling - a real smile that made her eyes glow - and he could picture the sunlight playing on her light-red hair.

Or maybe they had already returned to Salem. Shane could imagine everyone's shock at Steve's return, but that shock would quickly turn to joy. The Bradys would host a 'Welcome Home' party, with every member of the family in attendance. Shane would not be there, but he no longer counted as family.

Steve's family would rejoice. Shane could picture Jo and Jack. What would happen with Jo, he wondered. She had been sent to Bayview for killing Nick, because she believed he had caused Steve's death. Would finding out that Steve was alive speed her recovery or increase her guilt? Shane had no idea.

Jack would make Steve's return front-page news, but nobody would know the truth of how Steve actually returned. Shane's role would remain secret. In fact, if he died here in the desert, nobody would even think to connect Shane to Steve's return.

Up ahead, Salim seemed to be faltering. Shane looked up and was surprised at how far the moon had traveled while he had been thinking. Dawn was probably only a few hours away and they should find a defensible position in case they were spotted.

That thought was pretty laughable, Shane realized. What were they going to defend themselves with? Shane's two pistols had a total of 30 rounds in them. They would provide little defense if the three of them were found by a unit of the Republican Guard.

Shane tried to run through the possible actions he could take if that happened. _Just in case_, he told himself. _It makes sense to consider the contingencies_. He reminded himself that Ahmed Salim was the mission. Shane had to do everything possible to keep Salim alive long enough for Western forces to find him.

A plan formed in his mind. It was hardly appealing, but it was the only one he could think up at the moment. He asked Salim for the flashlight. They had avoided using it so far, because the beam of light might be seen for miles, but they had little choice now. Shane took the light and, trying to keep the beam low, began surveying the surrounding area for a suitable spot to make camp for the day. He spotted an outcropping of rocks in the distance.

_That will have to do_, he thought. Then he had another thought - a rather morbid one at that - but it seemed like one of the few positive aspects of his contingency plan. If Shane ever had to put his plan into effect, he would never have to worry about getting a lecture from Kim about his stupidity in taking this mission.

He would be dead long before she ever got a chance.


	89. Chapter 88

Kim watched Andrew race through the door of his grandparents' house. "Grandma! Grandpa!" She smiled as she followed him inside and saw her folks. Caroline approached her and took Jeannie from her arms.

"Hi, Mama," Kim said with a smile.

"Kimmie, why didn't you tell us you were coming home today?" Caroline asked.

"It's a long-" She stopped speaking when she saw Caroline's expression change to pure shock. Kim looked at Shawn and saw his face mirrored his wife's.

_I guess I know who just walked in_. Kim turned to see Steve and Kayla standing in the doorway.

"My God!" Caroline exclaimed. "Steve?"

'Yeah, Mrs. Brady. It's me."

Caroline engulfed him in a huge hug and then Shawn stepped forward and shook Steve's hand. "I don't believe it, lad. I just don't believe it."

"It was hard for us to believe, too, Papa," Kim said. "You should've seen us when we got the call from the ISA." _Might as well start spreading the cover story right away._

"The ISA?" Shawn's face turned into a thundercloud. "Are you saying this - all the hell Kayla went through - had to do with the ISA? Like what happened with Roman?"

"No, Shawn." Steve stepped forward. "That's not it at all."

"Of course not, Pop," Kayla said. She was holding Stephanie tightly. "It's kind of a long story."

"No, it's not, Sweetness." Steve cut her off. "Basically, I wound up in Cincinnati and didn't know who I was. The police ran my prints and they popped up on the ISA computers. The ISA called Kayla and Kim, and there you go." He turned to Kayla and smiled. "One look at my Sweetness and Little Sweetness there, and, boom, everything comes back. Well, except for what's happened since last October."

Caroline's eyes widened. "So you have no idea what happened to you after you . . . what am I supposed to call it?" She shrugged. "After you died?"

"You got it," Steve replied.

"Obviously, we left England the moment we heard," Kim said. She took Jeannie back from Caroline, whose mouth was agape and still looked unbelieving.

"I promise, I'm not a ghost." Steve chuckled at his own joke.

Shawn shook his head. "I guess stranger things have happened. Like Roman coming back and that Stefano fella." He looked at Steve. "You look like you could use a big bowl of Caroline's chowder, though."

"Any time," Steve said with a grin.

Kim watched in amazement as Caroline rushed downstairs to get some food and Shawn headed to the phone to call Bo and Roman to get over to the house right away. _That was so easy._ Her folks did not even question the story.

Neither did Bo when he arrived 15 minutes later. His jaw dropped and he stood frozen in complete shock when he saw Steve, but he recovered quickly. Within another 10 minutes, they were shooting the breeze like the old friends they were.

"Kimmie?" Kim had stepped into the kitchen and turned to see that her mother had followed. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, Mama. Of course, it is." Kim looked back at the others. Steve and Kayla were on the couch, their arms around one another and Stephanie on Kayla's lap. Bo was in a chair next to them, and Shawn was standing next to Kayla. They all looked so happy.

Caroline put a hand on Kim's shoulder. "You know . . . with Steve back. I guess Kay and Shane-"

"Look at her," Kim said, knowing where this was going. "That's definitely over."

"Does Steve know?" When Kim nodded, Caroline asked, "How did he take it?"

"It made World War II look like a minor skirmish," Kim said with a shrug, trying to be as close to honest as she could. "But they've worked through it."

"So I guess that's why Shane didn't come home with you." Caroline looked at Steve. "I doubt Steve will forgive Shane."

"No, Mama, that's not it. Shane still doesn't know," Kim lied. "He got called away on an assignment before we heard about Steve."

Caroline took in a sharp breath. "So he has no idea? He's going to come back and think that he and Kay-"

"I'm sure he'll call to talk to Andrew before he comes home. I'll tell him, so he won't be ambushed." Kim hated how good she was getting at lying to her mother.

Their conversation was interrupted by a burst of laughter from the living room. When it subsided, Caroline looked back at Kim. "You know . . . if Shane and Kayla are no longer together-"

Kim shook her head and cut her mother off. "It's not going to happen, Mama." She knew she sounded sad, but it was hard for her to say it any other way. In her mind, she pictured the conversation she had with Shane in the Donovan Manor sitting room a week earlier, the day before he left on his assignment. "Whatever Shane and I once had, it's over."

"That's crazy, Kimmie. You love Shane and he loves you." Caroline's voice rose and Kim flushed as she realized that everyone else had stopped talking and were staring into the kitchen.

"I'm going to put Jeannie down." Kim made a hasty retreat to the makeshift nursery she had set up at her parents' home.

She stayed there as long as she could, rocking her daughter to sleep. Kim would tell the others that Jeannie was being fussy after the long day of travel and it took awhile to get her to sleep. _Another lie_.

Kim just could not take it. If she went back, Shawn would almost certainly raise the same topic that Caroline had. Shawn had never accepted her divorce from Shane, and it had left the two men at odds with each other for months. It had nearly killed her father when, in a fury over an argument with Shane, he had taken a boat out into the river during a storm.

Now Shawn would be after her to "make things right" with Shane. _There's no way to make this right_, Kim thought. She looked down at her daughter who was yawning and closing her eyes sleepily. Shane could not put it past him. And maybe it was unfair for Kim to expect him to. _You did move on so quickly_. That had to leave Shane wondering. Look at Kayla, after all. She had rebuffed Shane for a long time because she felt she would be betraying Steve. Kim had waited two months to jump into bed with Cal Winters, and had accepted his marriage proposal shortly thereafter.

But that was a big difference between her and Kayla. Kim had learned at an early age to hide her emotions behind relationships with men who meant little to her. That was her way of dealing with pain and loneliness. Until Shane. He had pushed through the walls she had built up and had healed that pain.

At least for a time.

Then Shane had "died," and everything that she thought had changed due to Shane disappeared. Kim reverted to her old behavior. First, with Cal. And, later, when she could not bear to see Shane with Kayla, Kim had let herself be seduced by Lawrence - all the while thinking she was the seductress.

And Kim had Jeannie, who was a wonderful blessing, but a constant reminder of what she had done. Kim hated that Shane could not get past her betrayal of their love, but she also understood why he could not. She understood why every time Shane looked at Jeannie, he saw Kim in bed with Cal.

Kim looked down at Jeannie and realized that her daughter was fast asleep. _You can't put off going back any longer_. She placed Jeannie in the crib and turned back toward the living room, from which she could hear the happy laughter. _Time to go pretend to be happy for your baby sister, Kimmie. _Kim took a deep breath and remembered how easy it had been to lie to her folks about Steve's return. _It's always been easy for you to lie. So what's one more lie_?


	90. Chapter 89

Steve glanced up as Kim returned to the living room. He gave her a quick smile then turned back to Kayla who was dialing the phone. After a moment, he heard her speak and listened to her half of the conversation.

"Hello. Jennifer? It's Kayla."

"Yeah. We just got back tonight."

"She's fine. We're all fine."

"Listen Jennifer. I know it's kind of late, but I was wondering if you and Jack could come over to my parents' house?"

"No, really, we're all fine. I can't really get into it over the phone. Can you two just come over?"

"Great. We'll see you in a few minutes. Thanks, Jennifer. Goodbye."

Steve watched as Kayla hung up the phone and turned to him. "They're on their way over," she said with a small smile.

"Thanks, baby," Steve said, kissing her forehead. He was excited to see his brother, but was also very mindful of the history between Jack and Kayla. Before he had disappeared, the three of them had found a way to make a tentative peace and, from what Kayla had told him, that had continued while he was gone. But he knew that did not make any of it easy for Kayla.

"It looks like we're going to be here awhile, so I'm going to go get Stephanie settled in the bedroom." Kayla reached up to give Steve a quick kiss. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Steve watched as Kayla took a sleepy Stephanie from her doting grandfather and headed into the hallway. He felt a slap on his shoulder as Bo said, "Can't keep your eyes off of them, can you?"

Steve chuckled. "I don't plan on letting them out of my sight for a long, long time."

"I can't say I blame you. I bet Kayla feels the same way."

"Yeah," Steve said, thinking back to all the time he and Kayla had spent together at Donovan Manor. Reminding himself that that topic was off limits, Steve gave Bo a smile and said, "All I know is that it is good to be home again."

"It's good to have you home again . . . as unbelievable as it is." Bo shook his head. "You really have no idea where you've been all this time?"

"Not a clue, dude. Kim says the memories may come back in time, but right now I just want to focus on the future, not the past."

Bo gave Steve a curious look, then shrugged his shoulders and said, "Whatever you say, man."

Steve leaned in, keeping his voice low, "That doesn't mean that I'm not ready to go after this Alamain dude. Maybe there's no proof, but I'm sure he's the one responsible . . . and I might need a little help."

A grin broke out on Bo's face. "There's nothing I'd like better than to nail that guy."

Steve stuck out his hand and said, "Just like old times."

Bo shook his hand and repeated, "Just like old times."

As they shared a grin, Kayla walked up. "Uh oh. What are you two up to?"

Before either could answer, there was a knock on the door. Kayla glanced at Steve and then walked quickly to answer it. Steve watched as she opened the door and welcomed Jack and Jennifer into the house.

From his spot in the corner of the kitchen, Steve could not hear exactly what Kayla was saying to Jack and Jennifer, but he watched as their eyes widened in shock. He saw Jack's eyes scan the room until they landed on Steve. Steve moved from the corner and walked towards where Jack and Jennifer were standing.

Jennifer was the first to react as she threw her arms around Steve and gave him a big hug, as she said "Oh my god, Steve. I can't believe you're here."

Steve chuckled as he disengaged himself saying, "And I can't believe you are finally Mrs. Deveraux." Glancing at Jack who had remained frozen to the spot, Steve added, "Sorry, I missed the wedding. I hear it was quite the event."

Jennifer glanced at Jack and smiled. "It was wonderful. But all that matters right now is that you're back, right, Jack?"

"Uhh . . . right." Jack said, finally breaking his silence. "How . . . why . . . what . . ."

"What Jack is trying to say is how did this happen?" Jennifer said, rolling her eyes at her husband.

Steve listened as Kayla repeated the cover story. He could see the wheels turning in Jack's mind and knew that, unlike everybody else, Jack wasn't going to buy it quite so easily. When Kayla finished, she turned to Jennifer and said, "Why don't we go see if we can find something to drink in the kitchen?"

Jennifer nodded and the two women walked off, leaving Jack and Steve alone. After a moment's silence, Jack finally stuck out his hand and said, "Welcome home."

Steve gave a sardonic smile and shook Jack's hand. "Thanks. It's good to be back."

"So . . . you really don't know where you've been the last 10 months," Jack said, trying and failing to sound innocent.

"That's right." Steve said forcefully, eyeing Jack, daring him to ask any more questions.

"Well . . . um . . . I guess all that matters is that you're back. Jo is going to be beside herself." Jack spoke quickly, clearly having received Steve's message.

Steve frowned slightly at the mention of their mother. She had killed Nick believing she was avenging Steve's death, and now he was home and she was in Bayview. Looking at Jack, Steve quietly asked, "How is she doing? Is she okay?"

Jack gave a little smile and said, "She's fine. Bayview isn't the Ritz, but she's doing well. Hopefully, she'll be out in just a few months, ready to cook another green noodle tuna casserole."

Steve chuckled. One of the few things he and Jack had in common was their dislike of their mother's signature dish. Turning serious, Steve said, "Thanks for looking out for her, Jack."

"I . . . uh . . . I didn't really do anything," Jack said self-consciously.

"Yeah, you did," Steve said. "You helped our mother when she was in trouble. You took care of your family. That's a lot."

Jack nodded, but didn't say anything, as Steve continued to speak. "Kayla and I are planning on going to Bayview tomorrow to see Jo. Maybe you and Jennifer could come along?"

"Yeah . . . maybe . . . I mean, I don't know what Jennifer has planned or anything," Jack stammered.

Steve rolled his eyes. Some things would never change. "Okay Jack. You talk it over with the wife and let me know," Steve said. "Meanwhile, I'm going to go find that drink my wife went in search of."

"Wait," Jack said suddenly.

Steve turned back to Jack. "Yeah?"

Jack was silent for a moment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Steve was about to give up waiting for him when Jack reached into his jacket and pulled out his wallet. "I . . . I have something . . . that is you kind of gave me this. . . . I, uh, I thought you might want it back."

Steve looked down as Jack pulled a picture from his wallet. It was a faded black-and-white photo of a small boy and a baby, the picture of Steve and Billy that Steve had carried for so many years. Steve did not remember giving it to Jack, but supposed it must have happened in the hospital.

Taking the picture from Jack, Steve stared at it for a moment. There was so much history - good and bad - wrapped up in that picture. Steve had loved and missed that baby his entire life. And when he had found him, he had nearly destroyed all their lives with his attempt to play God. Yet, somehow, that love for his brother had never died. They would never be those two little boys in that picture again, but they would always be brothers.

Steve shook himself from his memories and handed the picture back to Jack. "I gave that to you for a reason, I imagine. So, I think you better keep it."

Again, Jack just nodded and put the picture back into his wallet. "Now, how about that drink?" Steve asked, giving Jack a smile. "You look like you could use one."

Jack smiled back. "Sounds good." Together they headed off to rejoin the party.


	91. Chapter 90

Kayla unlocked the apartment door and held it open as Steve brought a sleeping Stephanie inside. The impromptu welcome home party had finally wrapped up at her parents' house and she was ready to be back in her own bed. But it was not just her bed anymore; it was theirs. She smiled at the thought.

She flipped on the light and quietly led Steve into Stephanie's room. She watched as he tenderly laid their daughter in the crib and softly kissed her goodnight. As he stepped back, Kayla stepped forward and gave their daughter her own kiss. Taking Steve's hand, Kayla led him back into the living room.

"Well . . . this is it," she said, looking around the apartment. "I know it's not our old house, but hopefully it will feel like home soon."

"Any place you and Stephanie are is home to me, Sweetness," Steve said, cupping her face in his hand.

Kayla smiled and leaned up for a kiss. When they separated, she sat down on the couch and pulled Steve down to sit beside her. Steve opened his arms and Kayla snuggled in beside him, laying her head on his chest.

"I guess we gave everybody quite the surprise tonight," she said softly. "Too bad Marcus is out of town at the medical convention. I think he and Roman were about the only ones not there."

"I'll see them both soon enough," Steve said. "I can't wait to see Homey's face when he gets back to town."

"He's missed you a lot, Steve. Almost as much as I did I think." Kayla smiled as she thought about how many times she and Marcus had sat together and talked about Steve.

"I've missed him too," Steve said. "I don't think I realized how much I missed everybody until I saw them all again tonight."

"You're probably going to have to endure a few more welcome home scenes over the next few days," Kayla said, thinking of all the friends that still did not know the truth.

"Well, since Jack will probably have the news on the front page tomorrow, it shouldn't be too big of a shock for anybody else," Steve said with a smile.

"Good point," Kayla replied. "I guess that does make it easier."

They sat in silence for a moment. Kayla closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, loving the feel of him holding her in his arms. She felt his fingers brush her hair and the softness of his lips as he kissed her forehead.

"I think I could stay like this forever, Sweetness," Steve said, echoing Kayla's thoughts.

"I know what you mean," Kayla said, looking up and stroking his cheek. "But we should probably get to bed. We have to be up early to meet Jack and Jennifer and go see Jo."

Steve nodded and Kayla sat up. Steve stood and helped Kayla up from the couch. Holding her hand, he smiled and said, "Lead on, baby . . . I'm not even sure where it is."

Kayla chuckled and led Steve to the bedroom. She turned on the lamp and the room was bathed in a soft glow.

She turned back to Steve to find him staring at the picture on the nightstand. It was from their first wedding. Slowly, he lifted the picture and traced his finger along the edge. Kayla walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist, leaning her chin on his shoulder.

"That was always my favorite picture of us," she said quietly. "I would look at it and somehow I could feel you with me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, Kayla," Steve said. "I would give anything to take that pain away from you, baby."

"I know, Steve. But that's over. We're home now and I don't need this picture to comfort me. I have the real thing." Kayla tried to lighten the tone.

"Aside from the day Stephanie was born, I think that was the happiest day of my life," Steve replied, still staring at the picture, the emotion clear in his voice. "I remember thinking how lucky I was and wondering what I ever did in my whole life to deserve your love. . . . Sometimes I still wonder."

Kayla stepped back from Steve and turned his shoulders so he faced her. "You are a strong, brave, and wonderful man. You have a big heart and you would do anything to make Stephanie and me happy. You would do anything to protect your family. You have given me more love and support than anybody could ever ask for. Don't ever doubt that."

"Oh, baby," Steve said softly. "I'll never understand how I got so lucky to find you." His fingers traced slowly around her lips

"I think maybe we both got lucky," Kayla said, savoring his touch. She took the picture from his hand and placed it back on the nightstand. Returning to stand in from of him, she slowly began unbuttoning his shirt, placing soft kisses on his chest along the way. When she was finished she pushed the shirt from his body and traced her tongue around the dagger tattoo as his fingers worked the buttons on her blouse.

Kayla slowly stroked his chest, loving the feel of his muscles beneath her fingers. She raised her head from his chest and leaned in for a soft kiss. No words were necessary as he slowly lowered her onto the bed. As Steve began to make love to her, Kayla knew the most important thing. They were finally home.


	92. Chapter 91

Despite the scorching heat, Shane felt a chill pass through him. He knew it was a sign of dehydration. Coupled with the fact that he had barely been able to eat his quarter of one of the emergency ration bars that morning, the symptoms told him that their situation was becoming rather dire. Even crouched in the shade of the small cave in the rock formation, the desiccating heat was taking its toll.

He looked over at Malik, who was lying on the ground and sleeping fitfully. During the morning, he had woken only briefly, just long enough for Shane to give him some of their scarce water supply. Malik had been feverish and had no idea where he was or who he was with. Without medical care, Shane doubted the young man would survive much longer.

Shane reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out the ISA signaling device. The red light on it was still flashing, so he knew it was sending out a signal. _Where are they_?

Earlier, they had heard a couple of helicopters. Salim had tried to rush out, but Shane had stopped him. They had no idea if the helicopters belonged to Coalition forces or to the Iraqis.

"We're going to die here," Salim said in Arabic. "Better to be captured than die from lack of water."

Shane looked at the scientist and noticed that his face was flushed red, another sign of dehydration. Picking up the pouch of water at his feet, which had a little over a cup of liquid left inside, Shane tossed it to Salim and said, "Finish it."

Salim hesitated, obviously feeling guilty about taking more water than the others, but Shane nodded. "Go ahead. Drink that." Salim needed no further encouragement as he opened the pouch and drained its contents.

Shane coughed, making a sound that was little more than a rasp, and stared out at the desert visible through the gap in the rocks that opened into their hiding place. The desert was just as empty and desolate as the last time he had looked. An hour earlier, when he was sure that the helicopters had gone, Shane had left the rock formation and had tried scouting the area in the hope of seeing some sign of nearby water. He had found nothing.

Now he had to make a decision. Did they keep moving south once it got dark or did they stay where they were in the hope someone finally responded to their signal? Neither was a particularly attractive option. If they left the cave, with so little water between them and the need to carry Malik, they would have to move slowly and would barely make a dent in the more than 100 miles between them and the Saudi border. On the other hand, moving might bring them closer to a water supply; there certainly was none where they were.

But the rock formation also provided a benefit. It allowed them to prepare for Shane's contingency plan if Iraqi soldiers found them. He looked at the pit they had dug near the base of the rocks. A pile of sand sat next to it and their second pouch of water was at the base of the pit, just in case it had to be used. Now, however, Shane did not even know if Salim would follow through with the plan. He might welcome capture.

"How do I get myself into these messes?" Shane muttered, though he knew the answer. _You decided to run away from your personal problems_.

He leaned back against the sandy wall, not caring that the sand might stick to his white shirt. That would actually be a good sign. If his shirt was wet from perspiration, it probably meant he was still only in the stages of mild dehydration. Unfortunately, his shirt did not seem to stick; it was too dry.

Shane tried to take his mind off the heat by thinking again of home. It was odd that his thoughts had mainly focused on Kim and Andrew, but not so much on Kayla. Maybe he was really starting to let go. Or maybe it was just easier for him to visualize Kim and Andrew at the Salem house.

Whatever it was, he could not help but notice the difference between how he had felt when Kim had walked out and how he felt now. When Kim had left him, she had never been far from his thoughts. He had tried to hide it, tried to bury the pain, but it was always there and his mind constantly replayed memories of their life together.

With Kayla, the pain was different. When he thought of her, it was not about the times they had shared together in the past. Rather, the pain came from realizing he had lost a future that could never happen. He was starting to think that his love for Kayla had less to do with her as a person than what she represented.

It wasn't that he did not care for Kayla. He did sincerely care for her and for Stephanie. Kayla was caring, affectionate, a devoted mother, and fun to be around. He had seen all of those things when she and Stephanie lived with him, and in the months afterwards as their relationship had developed.

But more than that - as absurd as it sounded even to hm - one of the major attractions to Shane was that Kayla was not Kim. She did not demand as much from him and, like he told her, Kayla had been willing to accept the limits of what he could give. They could try to make one another happy without ever having to expose their hearts fully. And that meant never risking the deep hurt that had seemed to be an inevitable part of his relationship with Kim. He and Kim had - and did - love each other deeply, but Shane did not think he could stand the pain that came from that love any more. With Kayla and their silent acceptance of the limits on what they could give, and what they expected from the other, he had seen a chance at a future with love and family, but without opening himself to the risk of being hurt like he had the times when Kim walked out on him. He doubted he could survive that kind of pain again.

And now that he was not in such close proximity to Kayla, Shane was beginning to realize that those limits were the crux of their relationship. In many ways, the pain Shane felt when Steve returned was the very same pain he had felt when Kim left. Kayla had allowed him to bury that pain for a time with the hope of a future, but it all came back when that future was lost. So what Shane was feeling was as much about losing what Kayla represented as it was about losing Kayla herself. Maybe more.

No. Definitely more. What truly hurt was knowing that Kayla probably represented his only chance at finding happiness in a relationship. She was probably his only chance to have the future he wanted. Shane knew he had little chance of finding another woman willing to accept his limitations.

_It only took crashing a helicopter, cracking my skull, and a case of dehydration to figure that out_. The thought would have made him laugh if the situation was not so dire.

On the ground, Malik stirred. Shane started to move toward him, but he began shaking and then started yelling in his delirium as if something was attacking him.

_No_, Shane thought, remembering the helicopters. In the desert, the noise of Malik's screaming would carry for miles. He ran over to Malik and tried to wake him, but it was futile. With no other option, Shane cupped Malik's mouth, trying to stop the screams.

"You have to wake up," he urged, keeping his voice low. "Come on. Wake up." He kept shaking the man, but nothing was working. The screaming continued for what felt like hours, even if it was probably only about five minutes.

Finally, Malik quieted, though his eyes were open and he still stirred and muttered deliriously. Shane took some time to check his injuries and see if he could do anything to help Malik. He took out some more of the aspirin and forced them into Malik's mouth. At this rate, they would be out of the painkillers within another day or two.

Shane sat back with a sigh and looked over at Salim. The flush was gone from his cheeks. He had gone completely pale. Then Shane realized why.

From somewhere outside the rocks, he heard shouts. In Arabic.

Shane could not see the men, but they sounded far too close for comfort. At that moment, Malik began to scream again

_There goes any chance of staying hidden_, he thought. Shane motioned to Salim, who apparently had now decided that hiding was better than capture. Salim jumped into the pit, as Shane rushed to the edge.

He hesitated momentarily before he pulled out both of his guns and handed them to Salim. Shane would have no more use for them. _Not where I'm going._

Then Shane pulled one of the ponchos over the hole in the ground, covered the poncho with sand, and made sure the edges of the pit were not visible. Near the base of the rocks were some gaps in the sand. Those would allow Salim to breathe while being virtually undetectable to anyone searching the area.

"Stay still until we're gone," Shane whispered. _Or dead. _He reached into his pocket, pulled out the signaling device and dropped it through one of the small gaps. "Make sure you keep that with you."

From outside, a deep voice spoke. "Come out now."

Shane turned back toward Malik, but before he could say anything, the voice spoke again. "Come out now or we will blow up the cave with grenades."

_Which would probably kill them all, including Salim_, Shane thought. He took a step back and looked at Salim's hiding place. _That's as good as it's going to get_. He swallowed and took a deep breath, before he tried responding to their pursuers in Arabic. His first attempt was nearly inaudible because his mouth and throat were so dry. He swallowed once more and tried to respond again. This time, he was able to shout.

"We are unarmed and we surrender," he yelled. "I have got an injured man who needs medical treatment." Malik had stopped screaming, but his eyes were open and he was murmuring deliriously.

"Bring him out with you," came the order.

"Sorry," Shane said, as he bent down and lifted Malik to his feet. The young agent cried in pain, then his head lolled to the side, coming to rest on Shane's shoulder. Shane wondered if Malik had passed out again from the pain and fever. That was probably the best thing. Shane almost wished he could do the same.

Taking another deep breath, Shane called out to the Iraqis, "We are coming out." Holding Malik up, Shane took a few hesitant steps into the blazing sunlight.

A half-dozen Iraqi soldiers surrounded them. A couple came closer, pulled Malik away, and threw him to the ground. Shane raised his arms and stood still, wondering if they were going to kill him now or prolong the inevitable.

Shane closed his eyes momentarily and said a silent prayer. Then he opened his eyes, stared into the barrels of a couple of AK-47s, and once again asked how he had gotten himself into this mess.


	93. Chapter 92

Kim yawned as she tried to summon the strength to get out of bed. The night had been a challenge, because Jeannie woke up multiple times. _Who knew infants got jet-lagged_? However, Kim knew she had to get up if only to see what kind of trouble Andrew was getting into.

As she started to climb out of bed, she felt an icy sensation down her spine and her heart seemed to beat a little more strongly. _Please let him be all right. Please let him come home._ She reminded herself that the fact she could feel that Shane was in danger meant he was still alive. _That's good, isn't it_?

Kim headed to the nursery first, but the crib was empty. She then went to Andrew's room, but there was no sign of him. Before she could really get worried, she reminded herself that her folks were around. Caroline probably had the kids in the kitchen. A bit more quickly than normal, she headed that way.

"Hi, Sis." Kim nearly jumped out of her skin at Roman's voice. She glanced around and saw him sitting on the living room sofa, his head turned toward her. "Sorry," he said, though the gleam in his told him he was hardly sorry.

"Have you seen Mama?" she asked, as she looked around the kitchen and living room.

"Don't worry," Roman said. "Ma and Pop have got Andrew working downstairs and they took Jeannie's playpen down there so you could get a bit of rest." He stood up and walked toward her. "How 'bout a hug first and then some coffee?"

Kim found herself melting into Roman's embrace. Her older brother always seemed to know what she needed. "Coffee would be good, too," she said.

"Coming right up." Roman walked into the kitchen and Kim followed. She took a seat at the table, as he puttered around and got the coffee pot started. Then he looked at her and asked, "How are you handling everything?"

"You know?" Kim answered his question with one of her own. "Have you seen Kayla yet?"

Roman shook his head. "No, but Ma told me when I got here. Sorry I couldn't make it last night. I . . . well, let's just say . . . I've got a little stuff going on in my own life."

Kim studied her brother, knowing he was keeping something from her, but she decided not to press. If Roman wanted to tell her, he would. "It's okay, Roman," she said. "Kay's happy, and Steve . . . he still has some stuff to work out, but I think he'll be okay. When we found him in Cincinnati-"

Roman cut her off. "You don't have to lie to me, Sis. Shane told me a little before he left - something about Egypt - and he called me after they got Steve out."

Kim tried to stop her jaw from falling open, but failed. Roman knew? Shane had kept it a secret from her and from Kayla, but had told her older brother.

"I don't think he told me because he didn't want you to know." Roman obviously could tell what she was thinking. "He was worried something might go wrong and, considering it was ISA, I think he was afraid you and the kids would never know if he was alive or. . . ." His voice trailed off.

"Or dead, Roman. I get it." Kim felt her anger rising. "How considerate of him to spare me the worry," she snapped. "It's not like I can't tell when he's in danger." _Like right now_. She took a deep breath and told herself that it was not Roman's fault that Shane Donovan could be such a inconsiderate jerk. "I'm sorry. It's just been pretty tough these past few weeks watching Shane pine for Kayla." _And make a drunken pass at me_.

"I gather." The coffee pot was full, so Roman poured two cups and carried them to the table. He set one before Kim and took a seat next to her. "He didn't come back with you, I guess. I called the house, but Simmons said he was still away."

"No, he didn't come back with us. He ran off on some new assignment. He's probably off who-knows-where saving some prince or king or something." Kim wished she believed that, as she continued to feel that icy grip on her spine.

"I'm sorry, Kimmie," Roman said, sounding sincere. "I wish I could make things right between you two."

_You're not the only one_, she thought.

"It probably didn't help to have to see Kayla and Steve together," Roman added.

Roman really did know her so well. Kim sighed. "I guess I can't hide anything from you. I tried to hide it from them, though. I am happy for Kay. You should have seen her when she saw him the first time. After everything she went through, she deserves to have Steve back."

"And he's coping all right?"

"Better," Kim said. "It took a few weeks for him to start opening up, but he's getting better. It's going to be hard for him to readjust to being back in Salem, but he said he'll keep working with me." She sighed. "Sometimes I wish Marlena were here. I bet she'd have some ideas. What? What did I say?"

Roman had turned white, and had nearly dropped his coffee cup. Some of the hot liquid slopped over the side and onto the table. Kim jumped up, grabbed a towel from the counter, and tossed it to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked, unsure of what she had said.

"Uh . . . yeah. . . ." Roman fell silent, and Kim could hear the clock on the mantle in the living room ticking loudly.

"Roman?"

He took a deep breath and looked at her. "You're going to find out soon enough, I guess. Um . . . . I don't really know how to say this, but . . . this seems to be the summer for miraculous returns. . . . Steve's not the only one to come back from the dead."

_What was he saying_? Kim looked at him closely. "Roman, I don't understand."

"It's Marlena," Roman said. "She turned up about a week ago. She's alive, and she's here in Salem."


	94. Chapter 93

Malik was dead.

An Iraqi lieutenant - the man with the deep voice - had walked over to the injured agent, examined him briefly, and pulled out a handgun. Then the lieutenant had fired two bullets into Malik's brain.

There was nothing Shane could do. He tried to step forward to intercede, but someone struck the back of his legs with a rifle and he fell to his knees. From there, with several rifles pointed in his direction, he could only watch helplessly.

"He was just a kid," Shane said, trying to control his emotions, but failing. He struggled to steady his voice. ". . . just a kid."

The lieutenant turned away from the body and looked at Shane. Fingering the pistol, the lieutenant said, "He was a criminal who deserved to die."

_Falling apart won't help anyone_, Shane told himself. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "He was entitled to humane treatment under the Geneva Convention."

The lieutenant sneered. "Where are your uniforms? Your insignia? You have none. That makes you spies unprotected by any treaty."

Staring down the barrels of automatic rifles was not exactly a way Shane had ever pictured how he might wind up debating a finer point of international law, but he also knew it might be the only thing that could save him from Malik's fate. "Article Five of the Fourth Geneva Convention states that even spies are entitled to be treated with 'humanity' and are entitled to trial." That was not completely accurate; Shane was leaving out a key part, but that detail was not something the lieutenant would know.

"That provision applies only in occupied territory," the lieutenant said. "This is the sovereign land of Iraq, not land occupied by another country, especially by you Americans."

_Great_, Shane thought. _I just had to get captured by probably the only Iraqi officer who actually knows what the Geneva Convention says. _"I'm English actually," he said, casually.

That did not seem to go over well. Still holding his pistol, the lieutenant began circling Shane. "Now that we are done with our little discussion and you see that I have every right to shoot you right now, tell me where Ahmed Salim is?"

"He died in the helicopter crash," Shane lied. So far, nobody had found Salim's hiding place and, while Shane had not been able to look behind him to the rock formation, he assumed some soldiers had checked it out.

"We found no body," the lieutenant said, stopping front of Shane.

"That is right." Shane looked him right in the eyes. "I buried him in the sand. Your leader will have to look elsewhere for trophies."

The lieutenant laughed. "That hardly matters. An English spy will make a far superior trophy. Alive or dead."

"Then go ahead and shoot me," Shane said. At this point, that would be far better than being taken back to Baghdad for a sham trial and public execution. Shane would do whatever he could to spare Kim and his children suffering through that.

Something in Shane's tone set off the lieutenant. "Where is Salim!" he growled, his voice rising.

"I told you, mate." Shane switched to English just to annoy the other man. "He's dead."

The lieutenant swung an arm around and struck Shane in the side of the head with the butt of his pistol. The world exploded into a wall of white, and Shane fell sideways to the ground. A couple of soldiers pulled him back to a kneeling position while he blinked several times in an attempt to clear the white spots that were obscuring his vision.

Switching back to Arabic, Shane spoke slowly. "I already told you. Salim is dead. He was not strapped in when the helicopter crashed."

"You are lying," said the lieutenant. "Salim was the reason you came here. You would have done everything possible to keep him alive."

Shane shrugged. "It does not really matter to my bosses if he is dead or not. As long as he is not making bombs for your boss, my bosses are happy." That earned him another strike from the butt of the pistol. Shane fell again to the ground. This time, he could feel blood running down the side of his face. The blow had probably reopened the gash on his head.

"There you go wasting a perfectly good bandage," he said, as the soldiers pulled him back to his knees. Shane was not thrilled to realize that the soldiers did not let go of his arms this time. They obviously intended to keep him upright as the beating continued. Shane reminded himself that he had been through worse, as he looked at the lieutenant and, in a very calm voice, said, "You can beat me all you want, but it will not change anything. Salim is still dead, and you are not going to find the body."

The lieutenant lashed out again. Shane did not fall this time because he was being held, but the desert began to spin. For a moment, he wondered why the sky was down and the brown sand was up, but then everything started to return to its proper place. Or did it? A lot of things kept spinning.

Shane could not raise his head, but he could see the lieutenant's feet, which were pacing back and forth in front of him. One of the guards behind Shane grabbed him by the hair and jerked his head up. The lieutenant stopped and aimed the pistol at Shane's head.

_Good._ The thought managed to cut through the fog in his brain. _Let's get this over with. _He was going to smile to irritate the lieutenant even more, to goad him into firing, but the soldier holding Shane's head let go and his head dropped forward. Then his arms came free and he found himself falling toward the dry sand.

Shane was already losing consciousness when the shot rang out. But as he faded out, he wondered, _If I'm dead, why do I keep hearing gunshots_?


	95. Chapter 94

Steve paced nervously in the hallway outside the visitor's room at Bayview Sanitarium. Jack, Jennifer, and Kayla had just gone into the visitor's room to tell Jo the news of his return from the not-quite dead. It had taken an hour of meetings with the administrator and staff therapist before they had even been allowed to meet with Jo. The administrator had protested the number of visitors and the staff therapist had worried that giving Jo the news without "proper preparation" might cause a setback in her recovery.

Steve had scoffed at that comment. What exactly was "proper preparation" for the news that you son was not actually dead? Eventually, the combination of Kayla's earnestness, Jack and Jennifer's veiled threats of bad publicity, and Steve's less-veiled threats of something even more unpleasant had convinced the administrator and therapist that an exception to procedure and policy could be made because of "exceptional circumstances."

So . . . now he would wait. Steve hated waiting. But this time, he knew it was truly necessary. It would be unfair to Jo to spring this on her without some explanation. As he paced around the room, he thought back to the drive to Bayview. Jack had taken the opportunity to explain, in his halting and stammering manner, the full events surrounding Jo's killing of Nick, the ultimate discovery that she was the killer, and her placement in Bayview. Kayla had told him most of the story, but even she had not been aware that it was Jack's search for the killer in the hopes of finding evidence to use against Lawrence that had led to the identification of Jo as Nick's killer. Steve had seen the guilt on Jack's face and heard it in his voice, as he explained the full story. Steve understood that guilt all too well. But he knew that what happened to Jo was not Jack's fault. She was just one more victim to be laid at the feet of Lawrence Alamain.

For a man he had never met, Lawrence was rapidly becoming the man Steve hated like no other. The more he learned about all that had happened while he was gone, the more it all seemed to tie back to Alamain. His disappearance, Jennifer's rape - Steve's blood had boiled when Kayla had told him about that - the near death of so many of his friends and family in Alamainia - all of that was due to Lawrence. And that did not count the collateral damage done to Kayla, Stephanie, Kim and, as much as Steve might not want to admit it, Shane. Steve again vowed to make sure Alamain could never hurt anyone he cared about again.

As he finished that thought, the door to the visitor's room opened and Kayla softly said, "You can come in now."

Taking a deep breath, Steve walked in the door. He immediately saw Jo holding onto Jack's arm and watched as her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened in shock. Tears sprang to her eyes as he continued to walk towards her. When he was standing in front of her, he gave a small smile and said simply, "Hi, Mama."

Jo left out a soft cry and then threw herself into Steve's arms, crying inconsolably. Steve held her closely, saying over and over, "It's all right, mama." Finally, he felt Jo take a deep breath and ease herself from his arms. She looked up at his face and laughed through her tears.

"It's really you. I can't believe my son is really here."

"I'm really here, Mama," Steve replied.

"Oh son!" Jo exclaimed. "I've missed you so much. We've all missed you so much."

"I know Mama. I missed you too," Steve said, his own emotions breaking through.

Jo embraced him again, and Steve looked over her shoulder to Kayla, whose own eyes were damp with tears. Even Jack looked a bit emotional, something Steve had never really seen.

Pulling away again, Jo suddenly asked, "Does Adrienne know that you're back home?"

"Yeah she does. Kayla called her last night and we had a nice talk. She and Justin promised to come for a visit real soon," Steve said.

"Oh that would be wonderful," Jo said, smiling broadly. "All my kids back together again."

Steve smiled in return, knowing how much having all of her children together had always meant to Jo. Maybe, this year, they could actually have that Johnson-family Christmas she had always wanted.

Moving to the small couch in the room, Steve sat down and patted the spot next to him. "Come sit here and tell me how things are going in this place."

Jo sat down beside him, and Steve listened as she told him about her daily routine. It amazed Steve that she could make being stuck in an institution sound so pleasant, but he figured she was probably putting a good face on it for his sake. When she had finished, she asked him a few questions, mainly how he felt what it was like to be home, and about Stephanie. She seemed to be avoiding any questions related to his time away, and he supposed that Kayla had told her that he did not remember anything and Jack had probably suggested that Jo not ask him any questions about it.

Gradually, the conversation became more casual and Jo talked about Jack and Jennifer's wedding and how lucky she was to be allowed to attend. Jennifer told stories about their recently completed honeymoon, mostly involving the myriad of ways that Jack had made a fool of himself.

Watching Jo laugh at Jennifer's stories and Jack's antics, and hearing Kayla pitch in with little stories about Stephanie, Steve marveled at the fact that his family really was a family now. For so many years, he had accepted the fact that it could never happen. There was too much history and hurt - first, between him and Jo; second, between him and Jack; and, most importantly, between Jack and Kayla. Things had finally begun to come together before his disappearance, but it was clear that the healing had continued even after he was gone. He again gave thanks for second chances.

Before long, the door opened and the staff therapist announced that it was time for Jo's therapy session and the visit would have to end.

Steve stood back as Jack, Jennifer, and Kayla said their goodbyes. He smiled inwardly at Jack's discomfort as Jo fussed over him. Then it was Steve's turn, and he pulled Jo into another hug. He could feel her cling to him as if reassuring herself yet again that he was really there. Finally pulling away, he smiled down at Jo and said, "Don't worry, Mama, I'm real. Kayla and I'll be back soon to see you. Maybe they'll even let us bring Stephanie for a visit."

"That would be wonderful, son," Jo replied. Looking closely at him, she continued, "You take care of yourself now, you hear me."

"Yes, Mama," Steve replied.

"Don't worry, Jo. I'll make sure he stays out of trouble," Kayla said, with a smile.

Jo laughed. "Good luck with that."

"Hey! Why does everything think I'm always getting into trouble?" Steve asked in mock protest.

"Because you are," Jo replied. "But it's just one of the reasons we love you."

Jo reached up and hugged him again then softly said, "I love you, son."

Steve's voice caught as the emotion hit him. "I love you too, Mama."

Smiling and waving, Jo left the room with the therapist, leaving Jack, Jennifer, Steve, and Kayla alone. Kayla walked over and put her arms around Steve, asking "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sweetness," Steve replied, pulling her into his embrace. Looking over at Jack, Steve continued, "I've got my family back again and that's all I need."

Pulling away from Kayla, he looked down at her smiled. "How about we go home and take Stephanie to the park?"

"Sounds good," Kayla said.

Steve smiled and headed for the door with his arm around Kayla, as Jack and Jennifer followed.


	96. Chapter 95

Guns were still firing as Shane began to regain consciousness. Then he became aware of movement - his own movement. Someone had a hold of his arms and he was being dragged face-first along the sand, none too carefully.

Someone was speaking, but Shane could not make out the words. His mind was too foggy. It sounded like, "Yagottgopookngetntrounow."

Shane groaned as his forehead bumped against the ground. Whoever was pulling him stopped and turned him over. Shane blinked a few times. The bright sunlight made it hard to see. He also realized that he could no longer hear any gunfire.

"He okay?" That voice sounded familiar.

"I think so," said someone else. Hands probed the wound on his head and he hissed in pain. "Doesn't look too deep. And doesn't look like anything's broken."

"Tha's ol' Spooky for yer," said a third voice. "Gotta damn hard head."

Shane groaned in recognition. "It had to be you guys? There go all my karma points in one shot."

He heard Captain Nowicki laugh. "Would you believe I volunteered us? None of the other units were particularly thrilled about chasing down some spooks lost in the desert." He crouched down, blocking the sun, so Shane could actually see him. "You think you can stand? I'd like to get us out of here in case these guys managed to call for air support."

Shane started to nod, but that just caused an intense headache. "Just help me up," he said. The words were barely out of his mouth before he was being pulled to his feet. He tried to take a step, but it was so unsteady, he almost fell again. Whoever had pulled him up grabbed him before he fell.

"Y'all needs some help there, Spooky." Before Shane could protest, Deakins was pulling Shane's arm over a shoulder. "Let's get ya ta the chopper."

In the back of his mind, Shane had a niggling feeling that he was forgetting something. Then it hit him. "Wait . . . Salim. . . ." He raised his head very gingerly toward Nowicki. "In the rocks . . ." He watched as Nowicki and two other soldiers headed into the opening in the rock formation. Nowicki poked his head back out a moment later and motioned for Deakins and Shane to come in.

"Our friend doesn't seem to want to come out," Nowicki said. "Nice bit of improvising there, by the way. We wouldn't have spotted it except we're picking up your transponder signal."

Shane's brain struggled to process everything Nowicki was saying, but he caught the bit about Salim. He let Deakins help him inside the rock opening to the edge of the pit and he looked down at Salim. _I must look like hell_, he thought, as he saw Salim's reaction. In very halting Arabic, Shane told Salim to let the soldiers help him out.

The soldiers helped Salim out of the pit and led him out of the cave. Shane remained, leaning against the rocks, his eyes closed, while Nowicki and Deakins proceeded to pick up all traces that anyone had been there. Shane had no clue why they were even bothering, but he did not protest. Instead, he opened his eyes, tested his ability to walk and found that, although he was still rather unsteady, he no longer seemed at serious risk of falling.

While Nowicki and Deakins finished in the cave, Shane stepped back out into the sunlight. For the first time, he noticed the bodies strewn around the sand. The Iraqi lieutenant was closest. Shane walked over to his body and looked down. The man stared up through lifeless eyes and Shane saw that his uniform shirt was stained with blood.

Shane felt nothing.

He turned toward where Malik had been and saw that the young agent's body had not been moved. Shane took a few steps over to it when Nowicki appeared next to him.

"That your man?" Nowicki asked.

Shane nodded. "He was injured, so they shot him. He probably wouldn't have survived anyway." That thought did not make Shane feel any better. _Just a few minutes faster. That's all it would have taken._

Nowicki seemed to know what Shane was going to ask before he did. "We got here as fast as we could. We couldn't pick up your signal in the air very well and didn't want to do anything that might show on Iraqi radar." He put a hand on Shane's shoulder. "Sorry. It's never easy to lose a man."

_No, it's not_. But Malik wasn't the first agent Shane had lost on a mission and probably wouldn't be the last. _That still doesn't make it any easier._

Nowicki motioned for Deakins to carry Malik's body, then took Shane's arm and helped him toward the helicopter. "Come on, Donovan," he said. "Let's get you out of here so you can go home."


	97. Chapter 96

Roman had driven Kim over to his house, explaining on the way that Marlena had no memory of where she had been during the three years she had been missing. He also had hinted that Marlena's return had created upheaval in his relationship with Isabella, but Kim decided that conversation could wait. Roman seemed pretty clear that he did not want to discuss that now.

Even though she had regretted the thought, Kim had been unable to avoid wondering how Roman and Kayla both had two potential suitors, while she had none. _Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Kimmie_, she said, reminding herself that she had pledged to move forward with her life when they left Donovan Manor.

She set that thought aside as they came through the door and Kim suddenly remembered what it had been like to see Steve on the stairs of Donovan Manor a month earlier. Marlena was sitting on the couch looking at a photo album. She looked up as Roman and Kim entered.

"Kimberly!" she said, rising from the couch. 'It's so good to see you." Before Kim knew it, they were hugging. When they broke away, Kim just stared for a few minutes.

"I can't believe it," Kim finally said. "How?"

"How am I alive or how did I get back to Salem?" Marlena shrugged. "I can only answer the last one. I hitched a ride on a plane that landed in Miami and then made my way here. But where I was before that, I can't really say." She glanced at Roman, who nodded, telling Kim that there was something her brother had not said before. "We thought you might be able to help. Roman told me you helped Shane out when he couldn't remember things."

"That seems to be me - the memory guru," she said, as she looked at Roman, hoping he would stick to the cover story even with Marlena. "I just helped Steve out a bit, too."

"I didn't tell you," Roman said. "It looks like you're not the only Brady spouse back from the dead this month."

Marlena seemed to just take that in; she stood silently. Maybe it was not that surprising, as Marlena mainly knew Steve from some of his less-than-savory time periods and, briefly, after he helped rescue her in Stockholm.

Kim realized that the silence was growing a bit awkward. "Have you told the children?"

Roman answered first. "Yeah. We told them yesterday. They're . . ." He glanced at Marlena. ". . . confused."

As if she had never been gone, Marlena cut to the chase. "They don't understand because they don't know what it means for Roman and Isabella." She looked at Roman. "Did you tell her?"

Roman looked rather uncomfortable. "Uh . . . no." He turned to Kim. "Isabella and I got engaged while you were gone, but that obviously. . . ."

Kim got the picture. "Sounds like there's a lot happening." _For all of us. _She looked at Marlena, who had always been a tremendous friend to Kim. From her earliest days in Salem, it had often been Marlena who had been Kim's confidante. It was Marlena who pushed Kim to reconcile with her family when she first returned home. And Marlena was the second person - after Shane - to whom Kim revealed her past as a prostitute. _Maybe I could use a confidante now_, she thought.

Marlena smiled. "Come and sit down. I'll prepare some tea." She headed into the kitchen as Kim sat down on the couch and Roman joined her.

"It's like no time has passed at all," Kim said softly. It was. Marlena seemed to have just slipped back into her role as Roman's wife and the twins' mother. But, of course, it was nearly five years since Marlena's "death," and Roman had moved on with his life.

Kim studied her brother, who had not responded to the comment. He was staring in the direction of the kitchen, with a slight frown on his face.

"This can't be easy for you," she said. As he nodded, she added, "How's Isabella doing? I gather that's what you didn't want to tell me before."

Roman nodded again. "She's struggling . . . and confused."

"Like you are, I'm sure." Kim knew her brother. He was probably beating himself up over hurting Isabella, even though he could never have guessed this would happen. "You can't blame yourself, Roman."

"That's what I keep telling him," Marlena said, as she returned from the kitchen with a tray and two teacups. "It will work out in time." She set down the tray on the coffee table. Kim took a cup and sipped the tea as Marlena asked, with obvious concern, "So why don't you fill me in on how you're doing, Kimberly?" She gave Roman a quick glance.

"Uh . . . yeah . . . I think that's my cue to find some police business that's calling my name. Yep, I hear it loud and clear, ladies." Roman grinned as he stood up and headed for the stairs.

Kim shook her head and rolled her eyes, before looking at Marlena. "You're only just back and you're already playing mother hen, Marlena."

"Sorry, but the role comes naturally." Marlena sipped from her cup. "Roman told me a little about you and Shane and Kayla. And with everything happening with Kayla, I suspect you could use a friend to talk to."

"I thought I was supposed to be helping you," Kim said.

"There's time for that, I'm sure." Marlena fixed her gaze on Kim. "But let's talk about you - and Shane. I don't think you went through everything you did to be together only to throw it away."

_If only it were that simple_, Kim thought. "I don't know what Roman told you about our break-up, but it's pretty complicated."

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

Kim laughed. "I doubt you have enough time in a month to go through everything. Let's just say that I messed up, and hurt Shane terribly, when I got pregnant. And he turned around and pushed me away."

"You still love him, don't you?" Marlena glanced at the stairs. "Roman told me you do."

"It's probably pretty obvious," Kim said, with a sigh. "And I know Shane does too." She could hear his voice, the tone so painful, _"Why'd you leave? Why'd you walk out on me? Couldn't we have been happy again?" _Then she remembered their last conversation. _"I know it's unreasonable, and it's unfair to you . . . Maybe it's just my stupid pride. But I can't help the way I feel."_ Kim let out a deep breath and then said, "I can't do this right now. You're just back and the reality is that Shane and I are over, and all the wishing in the world won't change that."

Marlena nodded slowly. "Very well. We won't talk about it now. But we will talk about it in the future."

_In the future_, Kim thought. _If Shane ever returns_. She had the feeling that whatever danger he was in had passed, but she still had no idea where in the world Shane was or what he was up to. She tried to push the thought aside. "Let's talk about happier things," she said. She reached over to the photo album Marlena had been reviewing earlier. That would work perfectly for a distraction. Kim smiled as she said, "Let me tell you about all the things that happened while you were gone."


	98. Chapter 97

Shane looked at the notepad and reread what he had written. _That's not right._ He ripped the top sheet off the pad, balled it up, and added it to the increasingly full wastebasket next to his bed. With a sigh, he tossed the notepad aside. Maybe a few days and some distance from the mission would help him figure out what to write.

He leaned back against the clean hotel pillow and enjoyed the cool blast from the air conditioner. It had definitely been a good idea to stay at a decent hotel for the night instead of staying at the Riyadh air base. The night before at the base hospital had been brutally hot, and if the doctors had not insisted on keeping him there overnight for observation, he would have left as soon as they finished treating him for the dehydration.

Shane thought back on the arrival at the air base. He and Salim were spirited away by his ISA contacts almost the instant the helicopter had landed. Salim had been taken one way and Shane had been dragged into a debriefing room. The debriefing was mercifully short this time, as his contacts realized that he was in no condition to answer questions after the pistol-whipping he had received earlier in the day.

Checking the clock next to his bed, Shane saw it read nearly 6 p.m. Just over 14 hours before his flight home. Of course, he had no idea what it would be like when he returned home. It was hard to picture his life without Kayla and Eve constantly present. And things with Kim would be awkward, of course. She had seemed to forgive his drunken behavior when they talked before he left Donovan Manor, but he doubted she had forgotten that night or what he had said the day before he left.

He knew it was stupid that he could not put her relationship with Cal behind him. Wasn't that effectively what he expected Steve to do? Kayla had moved on with her life when he thought Steve was dead. Why was Shane so damn unwilling to accept that Kim had done the same?

_It was only two months. She slept with Cal only two months after she thought I died. _Shane knew that was his problem. How long had Kayla waited before she even kissed him? And nine months had passed and they still had not slept together. It was hard for Shane not to compare the two situations and wonder about Kim's speed at moving on. And try as he did, he could not prevent himself from wondering if he was so easily replaceable _- _first by Cal and then by Lawrence.

_It probably didn't help that Kim moved on with two sociopaths._

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Figuring it was housekeeping, Shane crossed to the door and opened it. He was surprised to see Captain Nowicki on the other side.

"Captain, what are you doing here?" Shane asked, his surprise evident. Nowicki motioned to his left, down the corridor, like he was fearful of being seen. "Oh, of course," Shane said. "Come on in." After Nowicki came in, Shane glanced down the hall, but saw nothing. He closed the door and turned to the soldier. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Nowicki said, reaching into his coat pockets. "I just didn't want to return these where I could be seen." He pulled out Shane's pistols. "You left these in the cave."

Shane took the guns and said, gratefully, "You have no idea how much I appreciate this." It had been in the debriefing that Shane had realized that he had not retrieved the guns after leaving them in the pit with Salim. To someone unaccustomed to carrying a weapon regularly, it would be hard to explain how that felt. Maybe like waking up and realizing you were missing a hand.

Carrying the guns over to his lockbox, Shane said, "I'd offer you a drink, Captain, but the Saudis don't exactly endorse mini-bars." He joined in Nowicki's laugh. "I think I'm fortunate, actually. I still haven't recovered from Cyprus. By the way, how the devil did I get back to my quarters that night?"

Nowicki's laughter turned into a coughing fit. When he finally managed to recover, he said, "Trust me, Donovan, you don't want to know. Let's just say that the RAF may think twice about ever hosting another clandestine ISA mission." Before Shane could ask any questions about that, Nowicki motioned to the wastebasket. "You trying to write a novel?"

Shane's laughter died immediately, and he shook his head. Soberly, he said, "I was trying to write something to Malik's parents."

"Malik? That was your-"

"Yeah," Shane said. _That was my man._ "You'd think I'd done it enough times that it wouldn't be so hard to figure out what to say."

Nowicki nodded. "I know. It doesn't get any easier. Honestly, if it ever did, it's a sign that it's time to hang 'em up. But losing guys . . . That's the nature of the beast."

_He's right_, Shane thought. It was just hard to accept, especially when Shane kept thinking that Malik would not have died if the ISA intelligence had been better. If Shane had known Salim was being watched, he would have done the entire operation differently. And it was hard for Shane not to think that he was equally responsible; he should have spotted the surveillance from the beginning. _Too late now_.

With a sigh, Shane tried to set aside those thoughts. He looked back over the Nowicki. "So now that you've returned the guns - which you could have had any buck private do - how about you tell me why you decided to do it personally?"

"You got pulled out so fast yesterday, I couldn't find out if you were okay. So I tracked you down here to see how that mug of yours looks." He shrugged. "I think you could tell folks you went five rounds with Mike Tyson and they'd believe you."

He was right about that too. Just to the left of Shane's eye, a large portion of his face had turned a rather spectacular shade of purple. Not to mention the bandage covering the stitches on his forehead and another large bruise on his right cheek. Shane chuckled. "I'm okay, and my cover story is far better than that. It involves a bedouin, a camel and a herd of goats."

"Spare me," Nowicki said, holding up his hands.

"Fair enough." Shane looked at the clock again. "How about I do you one better and buy you dinner? I've heard the restaurant downstairs is pretty good. Besides, it's not even close to what I owe you for yesterday."

"It's nothing, Donovan. It's just part of the job."

"I know," Shane said. "I'd probably say the same thing, but . . . let's just say that I don't want to think of what would've happened if you didn't show up when you did." Shane had spent most of the past 24 hours trying not to think of how close he had come to joining Malik in a body bag. "The least I could do is buy you a good steak."

Nowicki grinned. "If you're buying, I'm in. It's got to be better than the chow in the officer's mess."

Ten minutes later, they found themselves at the hotel restaurant. Shane slipped the maitre d' a reasonable amount of riyal so they would let Nowicki in without a jacket and tie.

"Fancy place," Nowicki muttered. "Guess the ISA doesn't skimp."

"If you'd seen some of the places I've stayed, you'd never say that," Shane said, with a laugh, as the maitre d' led them to a booth. "No, this is on my dime." Once seated, looked around and noticed that most of the patrons looked like Westerners. Most seemed to be talking English.

"Most of the American news folks stay here," Nowicki explained. "What I'd give for one of their expense accounts."

The two men ordered their food and settled into amiable conversation. After Nowicki talked about the past month in Saudi Arabia, he asked, "So how did things get on with you and Johnson?"

"What do you mean?" Shane looked at him quizzically as he took a sip from his water glass.

"I meant about that whole situation with your ex and his wife."

Shane almost spit up the water. "I told you about that?" When Nowicki nodded, Shane said, "Oh, Lord, I must have been even more drunk than I realized."

"Well . . . it _was_ right before you passed out." Nowicki laughed.

"That explains why I woke up the next morning with half the Scottish bagpipe brigade playing in my head." Shane shook his head. "To answer your question . . . Let's just say I've been in the middle of civil wars that were more pleasant. But they're home-" Shane stopped short as a woman approached their table.

"Captain Nowicki," she said. "I'm surprised to see you here of all places."

Nowicki and Shane both stood, and Shane took a good look at the woman. She was slim, about 5'4", with wavy brown hair that reached to just above her shoulder, and dark brown eyes that stood out against her well-tanned skin. She was wearing a tight black skirt and a low-cut, cream blouse that showed off ample cleavage.

Nowicki said, "Donovan, this is-"

"Rachel Knight." The woman cut Nowicki off as she held out a hand to Shane. "I'm from the Boston Globe."

Shane took her hand and raised it to his lips. "Charmed," he said, as he kissed the back of her hand. "It's always an honor to meet a member of the Fourth Estate. Shane Donovan."

She flashed a smile, showing brilliant white teeth, and asked, "Do you mind if I join you for a little while?"

As much as he would have liked to avoid contact with reporters, Shane knew it would look suspicious to decline since she seemed to know Nowicki. "Please," he said.

She slid into the booth next to Shane as Nowicki explained, "Miss Knight did a story on our unit a few weeks ago." To the reporter, he said, "The men were pretty pleased with it, but did you have to mention Deakins' accent? Poor guy's gonna get a complex."

Shane tried not to laugh, but he could not stifle a chuckle. Rachel looked at him with a curious gaze. "Do you know Sergeant Deakins, Mr. Donovan?"

"Not at all, Miss Knight." Shane recovered quickly. "I just thought it pretty funny considering I've received more than my fair share of comments about my accent."

"So how do you know the Captain?" she asked.

Shane fell back on a cover story. "Oh, I've been trying to convince our friend that he might find life in the private sector more lucrative. I want him to oversee my company's security."

She gave him a dubious look, then turned back to Nowicki. "Captain, my sources tell me that your unit was mobilized yesterday on a top-secret mission. Something that apparently had to do with the ISA." She said that last part with a knowing look at Shane.

"You know I can't discuss that, ma'am," Nowick said.

Rachel turned to Shane. Her dark eyes seemed to bore through him, as she studied him intensely. She obviously liked what she saw, because she smiled slightly and said, in a rather breathy voice, "And how about you, Mr. Donovan? I bet a man like you knows one or two things about _undercover_ operations?"


	99. Chapter 98

Steve was changing Stephanie in the bedroom when he heard the doorbell ring. He idly wondered which family member was stopping by now. Since his return, there had been a fairly constant stream of visitors to their door, as if his family needed to constantly reassure themselves that he was really back.

As he finished dressing Stephanie, he heard Kayla exclaim, "Marcus!" Steve smiled broadly at the thought of seeing his best friend. Carrying Stephanie, he moved to the door, listening as Marcus explained that he had just gotten into town and had rushed over after receiving Kayla's message that she needed to talk to him as soon as he returned to town. He could hear Kayla trying to interrupt as Marcus asked her if she was okay and if Stephanie was okay. Finally, Kayla managed to get a word in and began to tell Marcus the now-familiar cover story.

As Kayla finished the story, Steve took that as his cue and walked into the living room. He watched in amusement as homey's face registered the shock of Kayla's news and Steve's appearance. Steve handed Stephanie to Kayla as Marcus continued to stare. With a grin, Steve finally broke the silence.

"I know I'm even better looking than before, Homey, but you don't have to stare."

Marcus remained silent, but a grin slowly made its way across his face. Finally, he spoke. "I should have known you were too damn stubborn to stay dead."

Steve laughed loudly as he and Marcus fell into an embrace, then backed off for their traditional "womb to tomb" handshake. Their friendship had helped them survive the orphanage as children and had carried them both through many difficult times after they had reconnected as adults. They were more than friends; they were brothers in every way but blood.

With the greetings complete, Steve and Marcus settled onto the couch as Steve repeated the cover story, assuring Marcus he had no memory of the last 10 months. After a few moments, Kayla returned Stephanie to Steve, saying, "I'm going to let you two catch up."

"Wait, Kayla. You don't have to go," Marcus said.

"I know," Kayla replied. "But I need to go to the hospital and talk to Neil. I suppose you heard about my suspension."

"Yeah, I heard," Marcus replied. "If there's anything I can do, just let me know."

"Thanks, Marcus," Kayla said with a smile. Turning to Steve, she gave him a quick kiss and said, "I shouldn't be gone too long. You two stay out of trouble in the meantime."

Steve returned the kiss with a smile and watched as Kayla gathered her things and headed out the door. After Kayla had left, Steve turned back to Marcus and began asking questions about the time he was gone. As they talked, Steve sensed a change in Marcus. Instead of the easy, comfortable vibe they had always shared, Marcus suddenly seemed distant and awkward. Finally, Steve could no longer contain himself and asked, "Okay, Homey, what's the problem?"

Marcus looked startled, then said, "What do you mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Steve said, "What I mean is that a few minutes ago, I was talking to my best friend. Now it feels like I'm talking to a stranger. What's with all the 'yes' and 'no' answers when I ask you what you've been doing for the last 10 months?"

Marcus was quiet for a moment, then said, "You're right. I guess I'm just feeling a little guilty."

"Guilty about what?" Steve asked.

"For the fact that I didn't know you were still alive. I'm a doctor for God's sake. I should have known," Marcus said, the distress evident in his voice.

"Hey," Steve said. "I don't know how they did it, but it was good enough to fool everybody. You can't blame yourself. Besides, it doesn't matter now. I'm home."

Marcus smiled. "Yeah you are home, aren't you? And back with Kayla where you belong."

It was Steve's turn to smile. "There is nothing better than being home with my girls. I missed them so much."

"They missed you too," Marcus replied, his expression growing more serious. "I tried to be there for them as much as I could . . ." his voice trailed off.

"If you're trying not to mention Shane Donovan, don't bother," Steve said, grimacing. "I already know all about it."

Marcus' voice grew quieter. "You okay?"

Steve sighed, then got up from the couch and began pacing. "I'm not saying that it doesn't make me a little crazy to think about Kayla being involved with him. But she thought I was dead and we are trying to put it all behind us and move forward."

"Well, don't blame Kayla," Marcus said. "She was confused and hurting, and Shane took advantage of that."

"What do you mean, he 'took advantage of that'?" Steve asked, his voice rising in anger.

"I mean he was just always there," Marcus said, bitterly. "He moved them into his house and put Kayla to work at his lab. He never let up."

Steve felt his anger rising and took a breath to calm himself. Everything Marcus was saying fit with what he felt about Shane and Kayla's relationship. Although Kayla had tried to downplay it, he knew that Shane had pursued her, and had taken advantage of her hurt and loneliness. Steve told himself it did not matter now. He was home, and he and Kayla were putting their lives back together again. Sighing softly, he said, "It doesn't matter now, Homey. Whatever happened is over and I'm just trying to focus on the future."

Nodding, Marcus said, "You're right. You and Kayla are together. Just like it was always supposed to be.

"That's right," Steve said. "So now why don't you tell me why you haven't found the woman of your dreams while I was gone."

"I thought I did," Marcus said softly. "But it turns out she was already taken."

Steve looked at him curiously. Something in the way Marcus had said those words caught his attention. Even before he had left, Steve had known that Marcus had a bit of a crush on Kayla. He also knew that Marcus would never act on it and that Kayla only had eyes for Steve. Steve briefly wondered if Marcus's bitterness towards Shane wasn't out of his own jealousy. Steve was about to ask Marcus what he meant, but then decided to let it lie. Whatever Marcus had or did feel about Kayla, it had clearly not been mutual, and Steve knew that Marcus would rather die than betray him. The past was the past and it was best to leave it there.

Adopting a teasing tone, Steve said, "Well I guess we'll just have to work on finding one that isn't taken now won't we?"

Marcus grinned. "You just won't be happy until I'm an old married guy like you, will you?"

"Nope," Steve said, still smiling.

Marcus laughed. Standing up, he threw his arm around Steve and said, "It's good to have you home, Steve."

Steve returned Marcus's embrace. It was very good to be home again.


	100. Chapter 99

"So, Mr. Donovan, how about you? I bet a man like you knows one or two things about _undercover_ operations?"

Shane raised an eyebrow. "Undercover operations?" _If I didn't know better, I'd think she was flirting with me_, he thought

"Yes," Rachel said, with a cheshire-cat grin. "Who knows? Maybe you could give me a few pointers after you answer my question."

_She is flirting with me, _Shane realized. He tried not to feel flattered. "If you're asking me if I know something about the ISA, you're going to be quite disappointed." He laughed and grinned. "Just because I've got the accent doesn't mean I'm James Bond. I'm just an ordinary businessman."

"So you got those bruises at a sales meeting?" she asked.

"On the way back, actually," Shane said, keeping his cocky grin. "Would you believe I lost control of my car trying to swerve around a camel-riding bedouin and his herd of goats?"

"Not particularly," she said, adding that same coy smile.

"Sorry, my dear, that's the best I can do. But I will say I'm flattered that you thought I might be a spy. It's quite a respectable profession in England."

She seemed to study him carefully then said, in a joking manner, "Well you can tell your wife about being mistaken for ISA when you go home."

"I can't do that." Shane raised his hand so she could see that he had no wedding ring, even as he wondered why he was encouraging her. "Divorced."

"That's a shame," she said in a tone of voice that told him she was not sorry at all.

Before he could reply, the food arrived. While Shane and Nowicki ate, the three of them chatted amiably, with Shane providing a host of details on his "import/export business" to Rachel. He got the distinct impression that she was paying no attention to a word of his cover story, even though her eyes never left him. He also noticed that the more he talked, the closer Rachel seemed to slide toward him and the lower her blouse seemed to be cut.

To be honest, Shane appreciated the distraction. Had he been alone with Nowicki, the discussion probably would have gone back to the recent mission, and Shane would have been forced to think about Malik's death. A beautiful woman was definitely a welcome diversion.

"So you're based in Salem?" she asked in response to Shane's description of his phony business.

"Yes," he replied.

She gave him a rather sly smile. "I understand that there's been a lot of ISA activity in Salem in recent years."

"Nobody would ever accuse you of lacking persistence, my dear," Shane said with a laugh. "I really do hate to disappoint you, though." His laugh turned into a cough when Rachel's hand slid along his leg and came to rest mid-thigh.

Nowicki obviously caught wind of something, because he set his napkin down on the table. "It's getting pretty late, and I should be heading back to the base."

Shane took Rachel's hand, lifted it off his leg, and asked her, "Would you mind if I have a few minutes to finish my business with the Captain?"

She pouted for a moment, before standing up. Shane tried to pretend that his pulse did not quicken slightly as he watched her.

"I have to have a word with Nolan from the Times, anyway." She gave Shane that coy smile again. "I'll come back when you're finished."

As he and Nowicki both watched Rachel sashay across the room, Nowicki said, "I guess I know who's not sleeping alone tonight."

Shane turned to the soldier, who had a wide grin plastered on his face. Sputtering, Shane said, "Oh, please . . . I just met the lady."

"So? A blind man could see what she wants." Nowicki leaned forward and said in a low voice. "And you're a lucky guy. Just about every man in my unit tried to get into her pants."

Shane winced slightly at Nowicki's crass comment. Then, Shane leaned forward also and responded in his own low voice. "It's not going to happen." But even as he said that, a voice in the back of his head asked, _Why not?_

"Why not?" Nowicki said, echoing Shane's thoughts. "You're both adults. And from what you told me in Cyprus, I gather that you wouldn't be cheating on anyone."

Shane sighed at that. _No, I wouldn't be cheating anyone. I'm 100% unattached._

As he stood there, he thought back to the period after Emma "died" and before he met Kim. He had slept with a lot of woman in between, a series of meaningless flings that occurred mainly so he could distract himself with a night or two of physical pleasure. But everything had changed after he met Kim. Since that time, she had been his only lover. Even when Kim walked out on him the year before, Shane had not reverted back to his old ways. And then, after several months, he had fallen for Kayla and had decided to wait until she was ready.

Nowicki was still talking, but Shane only caught the end of it. ". . . and, hell, after the crap you went through in the desert, Donovan, you deserve it."

Shane understood what Nowicki meant. Sometimes, after a mission, all he would want was to fall into bed with a woman so he could bury his thoughts about what had happened. Kim had always known when a mission had gone bad, because their lovemaking would be fueled by his desperate need to forget what had happened. He could almost picture what it would have been like if he was still with Kim when he returned from this mission. He would have pulled her into their bedroom and made love to her for hours. At first, it would be frantic, driven by his desperation, but would later become slower and more tender, as he let go of the residual fear and pain. Then, after they were both exhausted, they would hold each other while Kim carefully prodded him to exorcize the demons by telling her what he could about the mission. What he wouldn't give to be in her arms right now, he thought.

_Kim's gone because you pushed her away. You destroyed the best thing you ever had, and you're all alone now._

He glanced in the direction of where Rachel had walked and saw her standing over a table with some older men who were smoking cigars. As he watched, she turned and gave him that smile again.

"Listen," Nowicki said. "I've really got to go."

Shane stood up as Nowick did and shook the man's hand. "I want to thank you again," Shane said.

"It's nothing. It's just-"

"I know." Shane cut him off. "You're just doing your job. But it's not 'nothing' to me. You saved my life and I'll forever be indebted to you and your team." Nowicki seemed a little uncomfortable, so Shane just added, "If you ever need anything - or any of your men do - just let me know. And if you're ever in Salem, look me up. I'll break out the good whiskey that I keep stashed away. Nothing less than 30 years old."

Nowicki laughed. "Now that would be plenty of thanks. We head back to Kentucky in several weeks, so you just might hear from me."

"I'll be expecting it," Shane said as they shook hands again and Nowicki headed for the exit. The solider stopped by the table where Rachel was standing and whispered something to her. Once he was done, she turned back toward Shane and headed purposefully in his direction. She stopped a passing waiter and Shane watched as she had a brief conversation and passed the man some riyals. Before Shane knew it, she was pulling him to a seat in the booth next to her.

She turned so she was almost facing him. Rachel leaned close and said, in a low voice, "So now that the good Captain has left, why don't you tell me what you're really doing in Riyadh?"

Shane tried not to look down her blouse, but she was making it awfully hard. His heart began to beat faster. _I can't even believe I'm considering this, _Shane thought. Before he could say anything, however, the waiter she had stopped appeared at the table with two small cups and a bottle of fruit juice.

"Saved by the bell," Shane joked. "Or juice, I guess."

Rachel laughed and waited for the waiter to leave. Once he was gone, she opened the juice bottle and pour a clear liquid into each of the cups. "Sadiki," she said, handing him one of the cups before raising her own.

Shane chuckled as she said the Arabic word for "friend." Despite the ban on alcohol, the aptly named sadiki was a common home brew in the country - the Saudi version of moonshine. Shane was just surprised that it would be served so openly in the restaurant, but then, with a large number of foreigners, maybe the hotel workers figured it was worth the risk. Not that Shane minded it now. A drink was probably just what he needed. He raised his cup to Rachel as he said, "So what do we toast to?"

She grinned. "To new friends, of course. And maybe something more."

_She's not exactly demure, is she_? Shane thought, but he drank anyway. The liquor burned as it went down, but he appreciated the calming warmth that spread through him. Rachel poured another round, emptying the small juice bottle, and they toasted once more.

"Now where were we?" she asked, obviously not meaning the question she had asked before the sadiki arrived. She ran her hand along the inside of his thigh. He let out a hiss as she reached his groin. "Yep, I think it was definitely right about there."

Shane decided not to tell her that she was much higher than before. This time, there was no way to pretend that his pulse had not quickened. "You definitely know what you want, don't you?"

"Always." She grinned, as she began stroking him through the fabric of his trousers.

Shane tried not to gasp. It had been so long since he had felt a woman's touch. And why was he hesitating?

"I shouldn't . . . I, uh, have an early flight in the morning," he said, though he almost immediately regretted his words.

She was hardly put off, as she whispered in his ear, "Then why are we wasting time talking?"

_Why are we_? he asked himself. He could smell the scent of her perfume, something that seemed to fit their locale - like exotic spice and sandalwood. _Don't deny it_, he told himself. _You want her. _And as Nowicki had said, it wasn't like Shane would be cheating. "I . . . Oh . . ." Rachel's hand had touched a particularly sensitive spot, and his body had begun to respond. When he regained his breath, he said, "I swear . . . I'm really just a businessman."

Rachel laughed - a sexy, husky laugh - and whispered, "I don't believe that for a minute, Shane Donovan, but why don't you let me judge for myself?"

_Why not? What are you waiting for? _he asked himself. _You've got a beautiful woman who wants to make love to you. _

The voice was right. He didn't owe anything to anyone right now. So what if he wanted to enjoy the comfort of a beautiful woman for a night? It wasn't like he was making a commitment; it was just a one-time thing. He reached out and touched Rachel's chin with his hand, lifting it so their eyes met. Shane shoved aside the last shred of doubt, and let impulse and lust take over. Shane smiled and said, "Let's get out of here."


	101. Chapter 100

Kayla opened the door to the apartment and looked around. She did not see Steve or Stephanie, but, after a moment, she heard the soft sounds of a harmonica coming from Stephanie's bedroom. She smiled softly as she listened to Steve playing their daughter to sleep. It was one of the many things she had missed in the months he had been gone.

After a few minutes, the playing stopped and Steve soon appeared in the living room, smiling broadly when he saw Kayla sitting on the couch. Putting his harmonica back to his lips, he played a soft tune as he walked to the couch and sat down beside Kayla. Finishing the song, he put the harmonica on the coffee table, leaned over, and kissed Kayla softly.

When they parted, Kayla smiled and brushed the hair from his forehead. "It's good to hear you play again. I've missed it."

"I missed it too," Steve said. "I didn't realize how much until I picked it up and started playing again. Thanks for keeping it for me, baby. I still can't believe you kept all of my stuff. The harmonicas, my old patch, my pool cue, the old shoebox. . . ."

"It was all a part of you," Kayla said quietly. "I could have never got rid of it."

"I know," Steve replied. He leaned back on the couch and opened his arms. "Come here, Sweetness. Let me hold you for a little while."

Kayla went into Steve's arms and settled back against him, their hands joined against her stomach. They sat quietly for a few moments and then Steve asked, "So,what happened at the hospital?"

Kayla sighed and looked down that their joined hands. "Well . . . I ran into Carly first. I think she's still not very happy with me for keeping Bo's condition a secret from her. But she did say she was happy that you were back and to tell you 'Welcome Home.'"

"Wait a minute," Steve said with anger in his voice. "You told me about all the secrets Carly was keeping when she first came to town. After that, she doesn't have any right to be mad at you."

"Maybe so," Kayla acknowledged. "But she loves Bo, and I can understand how she feels. Hopefully, she'll get past it. Now that she and Bo are engaged, I don't want Bo to feel caught between his sister and his fiancé."

"I'm sure she will," Steve said. Nuzzling her neck, he added in a lighter tone, "I know from personal experience that it's impossible to stay mad at you for long."

Kayla giggled lightly as Steve's unshaven chin tickled her neck. Pulling away, she said, "I'm pretty sure Carly doesn't agree with you, but I appreciate the sentiment."

Steve pulled Kayla back to his chest and kissed her cheek. "So did you talk to Neil as well?"

Kayla nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm still suspended until the hearing before the hospital board. Neil said he'd work on getting that scheduled sometime in the next week." Kayla paused. "He's not very happy with me either." She could not hide the hurt she felt knowing that her friend and colleague was so disappointed in her.

Steve tightened his embrace. "I'm sorry, baby. But I'm sure once you explain everything to the board, they will understand and reinstate you."

"I hope so," Kayla said. "But I'm not sure it's going to be that simple. They might keep my suspension in place for a while, or they might refuse to reinstate me at all. The reality is that I might not be able to work at the hospital or the trauma center again."

"Hey," Steve said firmly. "Don't think like that. You're a wonderful nurse and everybody knows it. They'll reinstate you. You just have to have a little faith." Kayla felt Steve turn her chin until she faced him. She saw the determination in his eye as he said, "You were the one who taught me about having faith when things got tough. So don't you be giving up hope now."

"I won't." Kayla spoke quietly. "Not as long as I have you with me."

"Good," Steve replied. "I'll be right there with you every step of the way. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it together."

Kayla nodded and offered a slight smile. She leaned in and gave Steve a soft kiss. "Thanks for supporting me. I know you weren't happy that I didn't tell you about the suspension when I first found out."

"No, I wasn't happy," Steve admitted. "But I understand why you waited to tell me and all that matters now is that we are in this together."

"Right," Kayla said, settling back against him again.

After a few moments, Steve spoke again. "There is something we probably do need to talk about, Sweetness."

Kayla sat up, recognizing the more serious tone Steve had taken. She turned and looked at him. "What's that?"

"We haven't talked about it, but if you're not working and I'm not working, we seem to have a bit of a money problem," Steve said.

"Oh, is that all?" Kayla said, relieved.

"Is that all?" Steve repeated, sounding surprised. "Baby, I would think that was kind of important."

"Of course it's important," Kayla said. "But it's not something we need to worry about right now. I still have the money from selling the house. I put part of it in a savings account for Stephanie's education, but the rest of it is still available."

"And how long is that going to last us if nobody is working?" Steve asked.

"Long enough to get my suspension resolved with the board," Kayla said. "And long enough for you to get settled back into Salem."

"Baby I don't feel right just sitting around when we don't have any money coming in," Steve said. "There is no reason I can't go find a job. Maybe the Salem PD would take me back."

"No," Kayla said sharply. Seeing the surprise in Steve's eye, Kayla softened her tone. "I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to think about you being a cop again. That's how I lost you."

"I'm sorry, baby. I wasn't thinking," Steve said apologetically. "But I'm not really trained for anything else . . . unless you want me to go back to hustling pool."

Kayla gave him a slight smile. "At least that would be safer."

"I don't know, baby. It seems like you spent a lot of time patching me up back in my pool hustling days." Steve returned the smile.

"Maybe," Kayla replied, her tone growing more serious. "But they were rarely life-threatening." Sighing, she continued, "I'm not saying never; I'm just saying I'm not ready for that yet. Can't we just wait and see and what happens with my suspension? We were going to use that money to support us on our trip around the world. What's wrong with using it to give us a little time to get things figured out here in Salem?"

"Okay, baby," Steve said. "I can't say that I don't like the idea of getting to spend as much time as possible with you and Stephanie for the time being. We'll wait and see what happens with your hearing and go from there."

"Thank you." Kayla then lightening her tone. "Now why don't we take advantage of some of this alone time we've got."

"What do you have in mind, Sweetness?" A sexy smile spread across Steve's face.

"Follow me and find out," Kayla said, standing and reaching for his hand. Steve got up from the couch and pulled Kayla into a passionate kiss. Turning them around, Kayla began walking Steve towards the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as she went.

Before they could reach the bedroom, there was a knock at the door. Steve growled in frustration as Kayla leaned her head against Steve's chest, trying to catch her breath. After a moment, she pulled away from Steve and kissed his cheek, "Hold that thought." Then she walked back into the living room and answered the door.

"Hi, Sis!" Roman said, pulling Kayla into a hug.

"Roman!" Kayla exclaimed, returning the embrace. "It's so good to see you."

"You too." Looking around, Roman asked, "So where is that husband of yours?"

"Right here, dude," Steve said, walking into the room.

Roman took a long look at Steve, grinned, and held out his hand as Steve walked up. "Good to see you, partner."

Steve took Roman's hand and offered a smile of his own. "It's good to be seen. Why are standing there in the doorway, come on in."

Roman's expression grew serious as he glanced at the hallway. "Well, uh, I guess I have kind of a surprise for the two of you as well."

Kayla looked at Steve, but he just shrugged. She turned back to Roman, who stepped back into the hallway and returned to the door with a woman by his side. Kayla stood in shock, realizing who the woman was.

"Marlena?" Kayla said softly.

Marlena smiled, nodded and entered the room, as Roman closed the door behind them. Kayla let out a small cry and then rushed forward to embrace her sister-in-law. When she pulled away, Kayla heard Steve behind her. "I guess I'm not the only miracle return, huh?"

Marlena chuckled and moved to give Steve a hug. The four of them then sat down, and Roman and Marlena filled Steve and Kayla in on what they knew about Marlena's reappearance. Kayla could not help but notice that neither Roman nor Marlena asked for details about Steve's return. She knew that Roman knew the real story, and surmised that he must have told Marlena the cover story.

After Marlena finished telling her story, she sat back, looked at Steve and Kayla, and smiled. Finally she said, "It's hard to believe how much has changed while I was gone. When I left, Steve was . . ." She paused.

"A punk," Roman finished for her, as he grinned at Steve.

"Hey!" Kayla said in mock indignation. "That's my husband you are talking about."

"It's okay, Sweetness." Steve did not sound offended in the least. "Roman's right. I was pretty much a punk back then."

"Maybe," Marlena said. "But you were the punk that helped save my life in Stockholm. I'm just so happy to see that you two are so happy. And I can't wait to meet Stephanie."

As if on cue, there was a cry from the back bedroom. "I guess now is your chance." Kayla stood up. "Why don't you come with me and I'll introduce you?"

Marlena followed Kayla into the bedroom. Stephanie was standing in her crib and her cries immediately stopped when she saw Kayla. Kayla picked up her daughter and turned to Marlena. "Marlena, this is Stephanie," she said formally. "Stephanie this is your Aunt Marlena."

Marlena laughed and took one of Stephanie's little hands in hers. "She's beautiful, Kayla."

"Thank you." Kayla cast a loving glance at her daughter. Looking back at Marlena, Kayla added, "I can't imagine how strange it must be for you. . . . So much has changed. The twins have grown, marriages, divorces . . ." Her voice trailed off.

"It's definitely been an adjustment . . . for all of us," Marlena said.

"I know what you mean." Kayla thought of all she and Steve had faced since his return. "You know if you need anything or just want to talk, I'm always here."

"I appreciate that," Marlena said. "But for now we better get back out there before the guys have the next adventure planned without us."

"Good thinking," Kayla said. They headed back into the living room. Steve and Roman were deep in conversation, but stopped as soon as they saw Kayla and Marlena return. But they did not stop fast enough to keep Kayla from hearing the name "Lawrence Alamain."

As she and Marlena rejoined their husbands and continued their conversations, Kayla could not help but worry. She had known that it would not take long for Steve to start trying to get information on Lawrence, but she was still not ready for it. She knew that she could not change who Steve was and she would have to find a way to accept his need to pursue Lawrence, but the thought of him in that kind of danger again scared her to death.


	102. Chapter 101

Lawrence Alaimain was extremely unhappy as he was escorted from the prison visitors' room back to his cell. Hardly any of the news was good. The ISA was tracking their new project; the new facilities were still struggling to get operational; preliminary reports on the new project were showing the agent was not nearly as powerful as it needed to be; and Steve Johnson had returned to Salem. The only good news was that Lawrence would soon have his parole hearing.

He reached his cell, took a seat on his bunk, and ignored his gorilla of a cellmate, a man named Bentley. The man had learned early in Lawrence's imprisonment not to mess with him. After stealing Lawrence's watch, four inmates, fueled by Lawrence's contribution to their canteen allowances, gave Bentley a beating he would never forget. Since then, he had given Lawrence a very wide berth.

Lying down, Lawrence began organizing his thoughts and planning his next steps. Obviously, Johnson had revealed enough about the project that the ISA had some idea about what was coming. The ISA agent his men had caught at the facility in Qatar had died before revealing anything, but the very fact the ISA had known about that facility spoke volumes.

He could not let them stop him. This project was his future, the way he would restore the Alamain name to the glory it had under his father. When he was done, the world would not only respect him; it would fear him and what he could unleash.

Now he needed to find a way to keep the ISA at bay. He had to assume that Donovan would be in charge of the investigation; his background with Lawrence made him the obvious choice. And that made it even more worrisome that Donovan had not yet surfaced since disappearing from his home in London a week earlier.

And Johnson was back. Maybe it would just be better if Lawrence just took the man out of the picture now. There were dozens of small-time hoods in Salem who would accept a contract on Johnson. But that might invite questions and let the ISA know Lawrence was aware of their surveillance.

Such a tough decision.

For now, Johnson could live. When the time came . . . Maybe at the same time Lawrence got rid of Donovan for good . . . That's when he could eliminate Johnson. It might even be enjoyable to make one of them watch the other die.

It was too bad that he could not fit Bo Brady into his plans. However, Lawrence had miscalculated on that already. Victor Kiriakis had not been pleased with Lawrence's attempts to kill his son and, for the time being, Lawrence did not want to engage in open warfare with the Kiriakis family. Revenge on Bo would have to come later.

Lawrence let his mind turn to the other problems. It was nearly September and the facilities were running slow. Marchand had reported that the production had been stalled by the need for new background checks to ensure that more ISA agents had not infiltrated their operations.

And what they had was not working well enough. The test subjects were getting ill, like they had for months, but they were all still alive. That was just unacceptable.

He had told Marchand the same thing. The agent had to be ready by December. That meant he had to keep the ISA at bay, and maybe that meant keeping Donovan off-balance once again. Lawrence had done that before by bringing Kimberly back to Salem. Maybe he could do it again.

_Of course. Why didn't I think of that before?_

Lawrence got up from the bunk and headed out of his cell toward the telephone. He pulled out some change, fed the phone, dialed and waited until Marchand answered.

"Maurice, it's Lawrence. I've been thinking of our little problem and I have an idea. Who do you know in Alaska that can do us a little favor?"


	103. Chapter 102

As she searched the docks, Kim heard the harmonica before she saw Steve. She rounded the corner and spotted him leaning against the side of a building where he was playing.

"There you are," she said. "I've been looking all over for you."

Steve lowered the harmonica. "Guess you found me."

"We were supposed to have a session today," Kim said. She made no effort to hide her annoyance. "I was waiting for you at the hospital."

Steve shrugged and started walking in the other direction. "Guess I wasn't feeling it."

Kim ran after him, and grabbed his arm. "Steven, you can't avoid these sessions." She lowered her voice so nobody could overhear her. "I know you feel better coming home and seeing friends and family, but PTSD just doesn't go away so easily. You need to go over what happened while you were gone."

"Look, Kim. . . ." Steve pulled away from her and then glanced around, most likely to make sure they were not being watched. "I know what you're saying, but I'm not going to come to the hospital to talk about my feelings. It's different here."

Kim tried not to smile. Steve really was just like all the Brady men - and Shane. None of them were willing to let anyone think they were weak. Steve probably figured if people saw him going to see her, they would assume the worst. "Fine," she said. "We won't meet at the hospital. You can come to the house."

Steve shook his head. "No . . . I couldn't do that."

"Okay, then we'll talk here. It should be warm enough for the next few weeks. And when it gets cold, we can go somewhere else." She gave him a reassuring smile. "Anyone who sees us will just think we're just walking along the pier."

Steve seemed to hesitate. "You're sure you're okay with that?"

"It's not very different from talking by the pond at Donovan Manor," Kim replied. "Let's try, Steve." For a moment, Kim debated telling him about the possible consequences of not working with her - that the ISA might take him into custody - but she thought Steve would only react to that as if he were being threatened. He needed to feel safe with her. "I'm willing if you're willing."

Steve looked out over the water for awhile, before he finally nodded. "Okay." He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket. "So what do you want to know?"

They began walking slowly along the dock, as Kim thought through what Steve had told her before. Mainly, all he had told her so far was that he had been at several different places during the nine months when he was gone and had been the subject of experiments. He had avoided specifics so far.

"Why don't you tell me the first thing you remember after leaving the party at Wings?" Kim suggested.

Steve stopped for a moment and appeared to be concentrating. "It was a plane," he said. "I was on a plane and I woke up. . . . There were some people there and they told me to stay still, that it was for my own good."

"Did you obey them?" Kim asked.

"Yeah . . . but I laughed. They had me strapped to a gurney, so I couldn't have moved if I tried." Steve thought some more. "When we landed, it was really hot. Not like the desert, a wet hot."

"So it was humid?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah. . . . I think it was a jungle or something like that. I remember a lot of trees when they took me in. And they took me into a building, kind of like a hospital. At least, it seemed like that with a doctor and some nurses." Steve started walking again. "Not sure how long I was there." He paused again. "Maybe a few weeks, I guess."

"And then what?"

"They took me somewhere else." Steve paused. "Not the desert. Somewhere else, but I never went outside. They flew me there, and kept a hood over my head. Sorry."

"That's okay," Kim said. "Don't push yourself. Just tell me what you remember."

Steve took a few steps toward the water, and Kim thought she saw his shoulders shake. His hands clenched into fists. "No . . ." His head jerked from side to side. "No, I won't. Don't. . . ."

_He's having a flashback_. Kim rushed toward him. "Steve! Calm down. . . ." She lowered her voice as he spun around and faced her. "Please, Steve, just calm down. You're not there. You're in Salem, and you're safe." She could see the confused, anxious look on his face and he was perspiring.

"Don't," he said again. His eye narrowed and he flexed his hands again, like he was trying to free his arms from something. "Let me go."

"Steve, it's Kim." She was starting to get fearful that he might do something to hurt himself. In an office, she could control the environment, but out here on the pier, she had no way of stopping him from acting on the flashback. She took a deep breath. "Look at me, Steve," she said sharply. "Look at me. It's Kim. I'm not one of those people."

"Kim?"

"That's right," she said. "Look at me, Steve." His eye focused on her and she saw some of the confusion leave his face. "Take some deep breaths," she urged.

For a few minutes, that's all he did. Steve breathed in and out, until he finally nodded. "I'm okay," he said. "Did I do something crazy?"

"Just a small flashback," Kim said. "Don't worry. You didn't do anything."

Steve looked down at the ground. "But I don't even remember it. What if I do something like that around Kayla or Stephanie."

Kim touched his arm, being careful to avoid touching his hands or wrists. From the way Steve had clenched his fists and jerked around, she suspected something he remembered had involved his hands. "Look at me, Steven," she said. "You love Kayla and would never do anything to hurt her."

"Not intentionally-"

"Not ever," Kim said. "That's why we're working on this here. We'll work through this and you won't have to worry about hurting anyone."

"Except Alamain," Steve muttered.

Kim shook her head. "Stay away from Lawrence, Steve. He's dangerous. Just let Shane and the ISA deal with him."

"Like they did before?" Steve glared at her. "A couple of months for raping Jennifer. That's hardly dealing with him." His expression softened. "Look, Kim, I understand that you don't think I should go looking for trouble, but Lawrence is out there and he's a danger to Kayla and Stephanie. I need to know what I'm dealing with and I can't do that running away from him. And, I'm sorry, but I don't trust Shane and the ISA."

_You should trust Shane, even if you probably shouldn't trust the ISA_, Kim thought, as she remembered what Shane told her about the rescue mission. But now was not the time to defend Shane to Steve. And Kim knew she was not going to dissuade Steve from confronting Lawrence; if she tried, she might lose his trust.

She took Steve's arm and pulled him around, so they were facing the direction of the Fish Market. "I think that's enough for today. Why don't we go get you a bowl of chowder? Get some meat on those bones."

She smiled as they walked. All in all, the session had gone pretty well. A little unusual, but Steve had given her more information about the missing nine months. And next time, he would tell her more. Sooner or later, the truth would come out.


	104. Chapter 103

"Keep the change," Shane told the cabbie, before he climbed out of the taxi and grabbed his bags. Simmons beat Shane to the door, pulled it open, and began to give one of his customary welcomes.

"Welcome back-" He broke off as he caught sight of the bruises that were still quite evident Shane's face. "Are you all right, Sir?"

Shane gave a wan smile. "I'm fine, Simmons. Just a minor accident." Simmons did tend to be a bit of a mother hen, but in nearly 40 years with the Donovans, he had probably seen just about every possible cut, bruise, and broken bone imaginable. He seemed to take this current batch of bruises with his normal aplomb.

"Shall I take your bags, Sir?" Simmons said, as Shane gratefully surrendered the luggage.

"Thank you." Shane entered the house and sighed. It was good to be home, but so much had changed in the past month. Eve was gone and so was Kayla for all intents and purposes. As Shane had reminded himself the night before in Riyadh, with Rachel Knight, he was completely unattached.

That was not a particularly pleasant thought. The night before had done little more than remind him of how empty his life had become. Physically, everything had been fine, but that was hardly the issue. Rachel had filled a need - the need to be with someone as a reminder he was still alive and still wanted. But lying in the bed, listening to her sleep, Shane still had the same empty feeling - the same feeling of loss - that he had felt for so long. In the end, there had been no connection. The night had just been sex and that, on its own, was utterly meaningless.

No, that wasn't right either. There was a meaning. It meant that something that had once been so intimate - something that had left his soul bared open to Kim - was now nothing more than the pursuit of some momentary pleasure. An empty diversion, nothing more.

"I suppose you'll be wanting me to draw you a bath, Sir," Simmons said, interrupting Shane's thoughts. He was surprised to realize that he had entered the library and was nearly at his desk.

"Uh, no, Simmons." Shane turned toward the butler. "I'm going to try to locate my son."

"Very good," Simmons replied. "Mrs. Brady had been calling daily, asking about you."

It took Shane a moment to realize Simmons was talking about Kim. It was still hard for him to get used to the fact that she had so quickly returned to using her maiden name. "Did Kim say where Andrew was when you last spoke with her?"

"No, but I suppose he'll be at her home."

"Of course." Shane shook his head, feeling silly that he had even asked.

Simmons nodded, then said, "I don't know if this is a sensitive subject, Sir, but I have not fielded any calls from Mrs. Johnson."

"No, Simmons, I didn't think that you would," Shane said, with another sigh. "I gather you didn't hear the news."

"What news, Sir?"

Shane tried to sound as even-keel as he could. "It turns out that Mr. Johnson isn't nearly as dead as we all believed."

"Oh. . . ." Simmons hesitated. "Well, I suppose that's a good thing then."

"Yes," Shane said, turning away. He felt hollow inside. "It's a very good thing. I gather Kayla's . . . very happy." He began fishing through the accumulated mail stacked on his desk to avoid thinking about Kayla and Steve. He waited until Simmons left the room, and then crossed the room to the alcove by the window and stared out into the garden.

Maybe he should have just gone back to England. He had briefly thought about it on the flight home. Regardless of what Kim had said before Shane had left on his mission, Salem had little to offer him other than the reminders of two failed relationships and a family that he no longer felt part of.

_But Salem still has Lawrence Alamain_.

That was true. On the ISA flight home, he had talked by phone with Tarrington. Shane had demanded, as Head of Special Operations, to be placed in charge of the Alamain investigation, and Tarrington had finally conceded that Shane was the best man for the job. Tomorrow, boxes of files on the investigation would be arriving at the house.

From the sound of it, despite being in jail, Lawrence had been a very busy man. According to Tarrington, only a week or so after the raid in Egypt, several of the known Alamain facilities had been shut down and replaced. The ISA had found some of the new facilities, but the investigation had cost one agent his life, and several of their other operatives were finding it difficult to gain access under new security protocols that Alamain's people had put in place.

But that was for tomorrow, Shane reminded himself. He had his son to see.

Shane went upstairs, took a quick shower, and changed his clothes. Shortly thereafter, he headed to the Bradys' house. When he arrived, Caroline answered the door and gave him the slightly pinched, hostile expression to which he had become accustomed over the past few months.

"Caroline," he said, politely. "I'm looking for Andrew."

There was a long pause, before she nodded. "Come in. He's in the back with Kimberly."

For a humid, late-summer day, the air in the house was plenty frosty. Shane waited just inside the doorway as Caroline walked to the back of the house. A few minutes later, Andrew came running out.

"Daddy!"

Shane crouched down and hugged his son. It never failed. No matter how he was feeling, the instant Andrew appeared, his mood lifted. He lifted Andrew of the ground and stood back up. "You know, Sport, you're growing so fast, pretty soon I won't be able to lift you. I think you grew another inch in just the past week."

"Tell me about it. I think he's already outgrown the new clothes I got him for school." Shane turned as Kim came into the living room. "So I-" She stopped short, and her eyes widened. "Shane, what happened?"

"Oh . . . these?" he said, lightly, repeating what he told Simmons earlier. "I just had a little accident. It's just a couple of bruises."

Kim was obviously unconvinced, but Andrew spoke before she could begin an interrogation. "Does it hurt, Daddy?"

"No," Shane said, shaking his head. "I mean, it hurt a little at first, but it's not so bad now. Do you remember last summer when you had that fight in the playground and the other boy hit you in the eye?" Andrew nodded. "It's like that. It hurt for a little while, but now it's just a funny color."

"Cool," Andrew said, excitedly, as Shane set him back on the ground. Kim rolled her eyes, and Shane had to agree with her. "Cool" was not a word he would have used to describe nearly getting his head bashed in, but he figured it was probably a good time to change the subject.

"I thought maybe we could go get some dinner together," Shane said to Andrew. He looked up at Kim. "Assuming your mother thinks it's okay."

Kim nodded. In a flat tone, she said, "Sure. It's fine. Andrew, why don't you get a jacket? It might get cold when it gets dark." They both watched their son run off, and Shane waited for the lecture he knew was about to follow.

"'A little accident'?" Kim hissed. "Don't tell me you got those bruises from 'a little accident.' I know it was a lot worse than that."

"I can't tell you anything more," Shane said, knowing that probably just confirmed her worst suspicions.

"That's just like you." Kim shook her head. "You disappear, come back looking like a beat-up mess, and then say, 'I can't tell you anything.' How much longer is this going to go on, Shane? How many more times are you going to try to throw away your life so you don't have to deal with your personal problems?"

Shane could feel his anger rising. "Why do you care, Kim? It's not any of your business anymore. You divorced me, remember? That exempts you from having to worry any more."

"I can't help it," she snapped back. "I sure wish I could." Kim took a deep breath. "What happens to you will always be my business, Shane. You're still a part of my life because I. . . ." She paused. ". . . because Andrew needs his father."

Shane did not know what to say. He knew she was right. He had agreed to take the Iraq mission because he did not want to face the situation at Donovan Manor, and he had almost gotten himself killed as a result. Hadn't he finally admitted that to himself in the desert?

Thankfully, he did not have to respond, because Andrew raced back in carrying his jacket. Shane gave Kim a weak smile and a shrug, as she shook her head, trying not too successfully to mask her frustration. Shane looked down at Andrew. "Come on, Champ. Let's go see what Alice Horton's got cooking." Shane started for the door and looked back at Kim, who was biting her lip. "I . . ." He still did not know what to say, so he just said, "I'll make sure Andrew's not home too late."


	105. Chapter 104

Kayla sat on the couch, thumbing through a magazine she had no interest in. She had left the apartment a few hours earlier, dropped Stephanie off to spend some time with her grandparents, and then headed to the hospital for another meeting with Neil. In that meeting, he had informed her that her hearing before the hospital board would occur in five days. She had then stopped by Bo's boat, hoping to talk to him about appearing at the hearing, only to find Carly instead. She had left a message for Bo, but it was clear that Carly was still angry at Kayla.

Then, she had returned home, looking forward to a comforting embrace from her husband only to find that he had left. While she was wondering where Steve had gone, she had received a call from Kim who was also looking for Steve. Apparently, unbeknownst to Kayla, Steve had agreed to meet with Kim today to continue his therapy sessions. Kayla had told Kim that Steve was not there and that she didn't know where he was, but suggested that Kim check the pier.

Since then, Kayla had been sitting and stewing. It was now not enough that Steve would not talk to her about what was going on in his sessions with Kim; he apparently also was going to hide the fact he was even having them. A voice in the back of her mind told her she was being unfair and a little irrational, but Kayla was not listening anymore.

Again and again, she told herself to be patient - that she should be happy just to have him back and that he would open up to her in time, just like he always had. She had been the one he had finally opened up to about his family and childhood, and he would open up to her again when he was ready. Yet, now instead of getting better, it seemed to be getting worse. Kayla was at the end of her rope.

Kayla continued to turn the pages of the magazine as she told herself that the silence would end now. When Steve returned home, she would tell him exactly how she was feeling and get him to open up to her. She hated feeling shut out of a part of his life and he needed to understand that it could not continue.

She had barely finished that thought when she heard Steve's key in the door. Kayla tossed the magazine on the coffee table and looked up expectantly as he entered the apartment.

"Hey, baby," he said with a weak smile.

"Hey, yourself," she replied in an even tone. Kayla's eyes narrowed as she took in his appearance. He looked a little pale and moved slowly, without the usual bounce to his step. She watched as he took off his jacket and headed into the kitchen. Getting up from the couch, Kayla followed.

"So what have you been up to today?" she asked, hoping against hope that he would tell her the truth.

"Not much," Steve replied without looking at her. "I just took a walk on the pier. And I stopped in at the Fish Market and had some of your mama's chowder."

Kayla took a deep breath to calm herself. He was lying and she was not going to let him get away with it. "That's all?" she asked sharply. "Nothing but a little walk on the pier?"

Steve turned, clearly catching the tone in her voice. "What's wrong, baby?"

"What's wrong is that you're lying to me, Steve." Kayla could no longer contain her anger.

"I'm not lying to you, Kayla," Steve said. "I went to the pier and then I went to your folks."

"Okay, so you went to the pier," Kayla snapped. "But you're still keeping something from me and you know it." Before Steve could respond, Kayla continued. "Kim called looking for you. She said you were supposed to meet her today. Did she find you at the pier?"

Steve sighed and turned away again. "Yeah, she found me," he said softly.

"So why didn't you tell me you were supposed to meet Kim today?" Kayla tried to control her anger. "It's bad enough that you won't tell me anything that you two talk about, but now you're hiding your meetings too."

"I didn't tell you because I know it upsets you," Steve said firmly. "You told me in England that it bothered you that I was talking to Kim."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Yes, I told you it bothered me that you were talking to Kim, but that was because you weren't talking to me. Shutting me out even further isn't a good way to keep me from being upset."

"Obviously," Steve replied, his own irritation showing.

"Dammit, Steve," Kayla yelled, losing her temper. "This isn't some kind of joke. I've tried every way I know how to get you to open up to me, to let you know that I'm here for you. I've tried being patient and supportive and all it has gotten me is more and more shut out."

"I'm sorry," Steve said. "But I'm just not ready to talk about it."

"No," Kayla replied. "You're just not ready to talk about it with me. You seem plenty ready to talk about it with Kim."

"Let's not do this again, Kayla," Steve said. He seemed tired. "How did your meeting with Neil go?"

"You're not changing the subject on me this time, Steve," Kayla snapped. "We need to talk about this. The morning after you . . . after your nightmare at Donovan Manor you told me that you knew we needed to deal with this together. But nothing changed. Why can't you talk to me?"

"I don't know what you want me to say," Steve said in frustration. "Why can't you just trust me and let me work on this on my own."

"I do trust you, Steve," Kayla replied. "I've tried to give you space and I've trusted that you would open up to me when you were ready. But I can't help wondering why can't you trust me enough to tell me what you are going through. What are you feeling? You used to trust me that way."

"This is different," Steve said firmly. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's . . . it's just different, that's all."

"Why is it different, Steve?" Kayla yelled, again giving in to her anger and frustration. "It's still me and it's still you. Why can't you just tell me what is going on?"

"So what do you want to know?" Steve yelled back. "How they kept me hooded when they moved me? Or how they tied me down? Or how I can't think about it without thinking I'm back there and want to kill all those people who hurt me? That's what I told her, Kayla. And it's ugly and I don't want it affecting you and Stephanie. And it only gets worse from there. That's why I don't want you to know."

"And those are exactly the things that I want to know," Kayla said, the anger replaced by determination. "Don't you understand that? I don't need you to protect me from the bad things you went through or from the ugliness of what you remember. I need you to let me help you get through them."

"You do help me," Steve said forcefully. "You help me by being here, by loving me, by holding me at night after I've had a nightmare. You and Stephanie help me every day by reminding me all of the things that I have to be thankful for. Can you understand that?"

"Why can't I do both?" Kayla asked, desperate to get through to him. "I will be here loving you and comforting you, but I can also help you if you would just let me."

"No," Steve said, shaking his head. He paused for a moment then explained. "Kim wanted me to talk about the things I remembered today, and you know what happened? I had a flashback and almost lost control again. I won't take that chance with you. I hurt you once and I won't ever take the chance of it happening again."

"I can take care of myself, Steve." Kayla was still frustrated. "I don't need you to shut yourself off from me in order to protect me. I know that you would never hurt me."

"I already did, Kayla," Steve said, the sadness and regret clear in his voice. "I know it was a nightmare, but these memories are like a walking nightmare, and it would kill me if I ever hurt you like that again. Please understand, baby. I can't let that happen."

Before Kayla could respond, the phone rang. She contemplated letting it ring, but knew that it could be about Stephanie. Walking to the phone, she answered, "Hello."

"Kayla, it's Mom," Caroline replied.

"Hi . . . is everything okay with Stephanie?" Kayla asked.

"She's fine," Caroline said. "But you were supposed to pick her up 10 minutes ago. I've got to leave to get my meeting at the church."

"I'm sorry, Ma," Kayla said feeling guilty. "I just lost track of time. I'll be there is just a few minutes."

"It's okay, Kayla," Caroline said. "Kimmie is here and can watch Stephanie until you get here. I was just a little worried myself when you were late."

"Tell Kim that I'll be there soon. Bye, Ma."

"Bye, Kayla," Caroline replied.

Kayla hung up the phone and turned to Steve. "I guess we will have to talk later. I need to go pick up Stephanie. I was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago."

"So I gathered," Steve replied. He reached again for Kayla's hand. "I know you're still upset with me, but please remember that I love you."

"I know that," Kayla said. "And I love you too." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I won't be long."

"Take your time, Sweetness," Steve said. "I've got an errand I need to run. But I won't be late, I promise."

"All right," Kayla said. "I'll see you later." She headed back into the living room and picked up her purse and keys. Sighing softly, she headed out the door.


	106. Chapter 105

Shane looked across the table at Andrew, who was poking his fork around on the plate.

"Don't tell me you don't like apple pie?" Shane said. "That's the all-American dessert. And you know Alice Horton will be disappointed if you don't finish it."

Andrew looked up glumly.

"Hey, Sport, what's wrong?"

"Why can't you and Mommy live in the same house like before?" Andrew asked. "Why can't it be like in England, when we were all together?"

Shane sighed. Andrew had been back and forth between Shane and Kim for much of the past year, so the time at Donovan Manor was bound to have confused him.

"Andrew . . . sometimes mommies and daddies don't live together. I know your mom stayed with us in England, but that was so she could be close to Uncle Steve and Aunt Kayla. But now that we're back in Salem, it's going to be like it was before we went to England."

Andrew stared down at his plate. "I don't like it. I saw you so much in England. . . ."

"Hey . . . we'll do things together here, Sport. I promise." Shane tried his best to reassure his son, and even decided to spoil a surprise he had planned. "In fact, I had Worthington make arrangements to send Jester to Salem, and he should be here in just a few days."

That brought an excited smile to Andrew's face. "Jester's coming here? And we can go riding?"

"Absolutely," Shane said. He looked back at Andrew's plate. "Now why don't you finish that pie so Alice doesn't get upset."

"Oh, it will take a lot more than that to upset my grandmother, Shane, darling." That came from the unmistakable voice of Julie Williams.

Shane immediately grinned, stood up and turned to her. "Julie, it's wonderful to see you." It was. Julie had become a good friend since she returned to Salem. She had also been a tremendous influence on Eve, whom Julie had taken under her wing, and had played a bit of a role as confidante when Shane was trying to sort out his feelings for Kayla.

Julie hesitated momentarily when she saw Shane's face. "I'd give you a kiss, darling, but I don't see a spot where it looks like it wouldn't hurt." She said that in a teasing voice.

"Honest, it looks a lot worse than it feels," Shane said. At her questioning look, he added, "Just a little accident."

"In your line of work, there's no such thing." Julie paused. "Shane, I do need to discuss something with you."

"Oh . . ." Shane turned to Andrew, then back to Julie. "Julie, I don't think you've met my son, Andrew. Andrew, this is Mrs. Williams, a good friend of mine and Eve's."

Julie leaned over. "Why hello, Andrew."

Andrew hesitated, then said, "Hello, ma'am. It's very nice to meet you."

"Of course. He's your son. . . ." Julie looked at Shane and rolled her eyes. "He would be ridiculously polite."

Shane chuckled and whispered, "Trust me, that's not always the case." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some change, before turning back to Andrew. "Sport, I need to talk with Mrs. Williams for a few minutes. How about you go play a few of those games over in the corner?"

"Can I?" Andrew jumped out of his seat.

"Sure." Shane handed Andrew a few quarters. "Just stay where I can see you."

"That's some boy," Julie said, as Andrew ran off. She took his seat across the table from Shane, who returned to his seat.

Shane nodded as he watched his son. "He sure is." Then he turned back to Julie. "But you didn't come over here to talk about Andrew. What's on your mind?"

"The immunology lab, Shane," Julie said. "I always suspected your interest in it was not purely motivated by your oh-so benevolent nature, but now that the virus affecting the ISA agents has been cured, what happens next? We still have a world-renowned immunologist in Jordan Bishop on staff."

Shane had never really thought about what would happen with the lab after the virus was cured. He knew that Neil Curtis considered the immunology lab a jewel in the crown of University Hospital, and Shane had always supported the hospital. They had even named a wing for him after his "death," and he was still trying to get Neil to change the name. Shane found it quite morbid to pass the "Shane Donovan Memorial Wing" while he was still alive.

"I don't see any reason to close the lab," Shane told Julie. "Assuming you wish to continue your support, I'm happy to keep up my contribution. And I'm sure we could talk to Kayla about seeking some additional grant money."

Something in Julie's expression told Shane that he had said something wrong. "About that. . . ." Julie said. "We, uh, may need to find a new administrator for the lab."

Now Shane was confused. "What do you mean? Kayla's done an excellent job."

"Oh." Julie had a nervous look that was very at odds with her normally poised demeanor. "I guess you haven't heard."

"Heard what?"

Julie sighed. "Kayla's been suspended from the hospital. Apparently, to hide that Bo had the virus, she switched her blood for Bo's."

"I gather that's a bad thing?" Shane asked.

"Yes. It violates hospital procedures and state regulations," Julie said. "Kayla could lose her nursing license. She has a hearing before the hospital board later in the week. I'm sorry, but I was sure you knew."

Shane was shocked. How could Kayla keep that secret? She had kept secret that Bo was sick, and now this. But then his surprise went away. Shane no longer had a right to expect Kayla to tell him anything. "No . . . I didn't know," Shane said. "Things have kind of changed between me and Kayla."

Julie nodded. "I heard. It's pretty hard to keep a secret like someone coming back from the dead in a town like this." She gave him a sympathetic look. "How are you holding up, darling?"

Shane smiled. "It's okay. I'm okay."

"I feel a bit guilty about all of this," Julie said. "After all, I did push you to admit how you felt about Kayla. Maybe if I hadn't-"

"Julie, please. . . . It's hardly your fault." Shane shook his head. "I'm a big boy. I can handle it. And from what I hear, Kayla's very happy."

Julie laughed. "Oh, Shane, darling. . . ." She did not finish the sentence, but reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "You know, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I know a thing or two - plus a lot more - about having your heart broken."

Shane felt his cheeks flush a little. He hated being pitied, but he knew Julie was just trying to be supportive. So rather than get angry, Shane just said, "You're a good friend, Julie, but I really am fine." Then he made a point of looking over to where Andrew was playing and added, "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I promised Kim I'd get Andrew home early."


	107. Chapter 106

Steve waited as the guard finished frisking him and told him he could lower his hands. He took a few deep breaths. For a moment, Steve thought he might begin to lose it like he had on the docks with Kim, but whatever was starting to happen had stopped.

As he followed the guard down the prison hallway, Steve also tried to put the argument with Kayla out of his mind. She did not understand, and he knew she probably never would. She would never understand what it was like to not be in control of yourself, and Steve could not take the chance that he would lose control around her or Stephanie.

"You can wait here," the guard said.

Steve hated waiting, but he did not really have much choice. He began to pace back and forth across the room. Every once in a while, he glanced over at the row of empty chairs facing the plexiglass divider. Steve had arrived at the very end of visiting hours and had nearly been turned away, but one of the guards recognized his photo from Jack's article in the Spectator and agreed to let Steve come in.

After about five minutes, the door on the opposite side of the plexiglass opened and a guard escorted in a man wearing a grey prison uniform. Steve watched him as he walked from the door to the chair.

Beside the smug, haughty expression on the man's face, there was surprisingly little remarkable about Lawrence Alamain. He was thin and not particularly imposing. His short brown hair was brushed back from his face. If it were not for his eyes, Lawrence Alamain would look like your run-of-the-mill mid-level executive or accountant.

But the eyes stood out. There was something about them that made Steve hesitate. Lawrence's eyes showed no emotion. They were cold and unfeeling. Steve had seen a few men with eyes like that - Harper Devereaux for one. And like Harper, Steve could already see how Lawrence could probably appear charming to many people, even while he plotted to knife them in the back. In an instant, Steve knew Lawrence Alamain was a very dangerous man.

Lawrence had taken a seat on his side of the plexiglass partition and was sizing Steve up as well. Steve pulled out his chair, turned it around so the back faced the plexiglass and took a seat.

"You know who I am, dude?" Steve asked.

Lawrence shook his head. "Should I?" He spoke in a clipped, haughty manner that gave the distinct impression that he considered Steve beneath notice.

Steve snorted slightly. "You should know me, Alamain. I'm the guy you tried to kill in that boat explosion - the guy you took from his wife and daughter." Steve wanted to talk about the compounds and the testing, but he knew the ISA was trying to keep secret that Steve remembered any of that, thinking it would protect him from Lawrence. It was stupid really; Lawrence would never believe a story like that.

"Mr. Johnson," Lawrence's eyes widened in the pretense that he was surprised. "I had heard you returned to Salem. What a remarkable experience you must have had. But why would you be here? Obviously, as you're alive, your wife's and your ex-brother-in-law's suspicions that I killed you are demonstrably false."

"Don't play games with me, Alamain," Steve said, keeping his voice even. "We both know what you did."

"Do we?" Lawrence shrugged. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Steve nodded. He understood the other man. He would play games and deny everything. Oh, he was smooth, and cold. But he was the type that eventually slipped up.

"So tell me, Mr. Johnson," Lawrence said, with a slight smile that did not reach his eyes. They still had that cold, emotionless look to them. "I gather it must have been quite a shock to learn about your wife's relationship with Captain Donovan." He shook his head. "I tried to warn them that were only hurting the people they professed to love."

"I'm sure you were very concerned for my family's welfare." Steve could not hold back on the sarcasm. "Was that before or after you tried to kill my wife, Jack and Bo with your earthquake?"

Lawrence studied him quietly for a moment. "I noticed you did not mention Captain Donovan in that list. Do I detect a hint of a strain between you and our good friend in the ISA?"

"Leave Donovan out of it," Steve said. "What's between him and me is between him and me."

"Of course, you would say that." Steve got the distinct impression that Lawrence was treating this conversation like a little game. "But you don't really believe it. You want to know all about what Mrs. Johnson was like after your 'death.'" He chuckled. "Well, from what I saw at my home, the good Captain fancied himself as your wife's protector. That must really be difficult for a man like you to hear - knowing your wife needed protection and you were not there to provide it. . . . Of course, Captain Donovan's vigilance was misdirected at me, when I posed no threat to Mrs. Johnson at all."

Steve nodded his head. "I see . . . You pose no threat at all to my wife and my daughter?"

"Exactly," Lawrence replied. "Or to you for that matter."

_This guy is smooth_, Steve thought. He had seen few men who could lie as easily as Lawrence. Most people let something slip when they lied; they had a 'tell' if you will. Steve got the sense that, if given a choice between telling the truth or lying, Lawrence would choose to lie - and would slip it in so easily, nobody would know the difference.

"I've got a suggestion for you, dude," Steve said. "If you want to claim you pose no threat to me and my family, you'd better stick to that. I'm not Donovan; I'm not limited by what the law allows. And I'm not a grieving widow with a baby. Look at me, Alamain. You may have tried to kill me, but I'm back and I'm strong. So keep that in mind before you consider doing anything to Kayla or Stephanie."

Lawrence smiled again. "Ah, Mr. Johnson, I do so appreciate your visit. However, your threats are pointless." Lawrence stood up from his seat. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but it's very nearly 6 p.m., and I would hate to be late for dinner. I'm sure you can find your way out. But thank you for the visit. You'll have to come again."

As he left through the doors on the opposite side of the room, Steve just sat and smiled. He knew what he was dealing with now, and Lawrence would never get the jump on him again. When Lawrence came after him the next time, Steve would be prepared.

The time would come, Steve knew. And when it did, he would make Lawrence Alamain regret ever hearing the name Steve Johnson. _That's a promise_.


	108. Chapter 107

Kim had just placed Stephanie in the playpen with Jeannie when she heard the front door open. Looking up, she saw her baby sister walk in the door. "Hi Kay," she called out with a smile.

"Hi." Kayla did not return the smile. "Is Stephanie ready to go?"

"Umm . . . yeah," Kim replied, confused by Kayla's tone. "Let me get her bag."

"No, don't bother. I'll get it," Kayla said. She walked past Kim to the kids' room in the back of the house.

_What in the world is going on with her_? Kim thought silently.

A few moments later, Kayla returned to the living room, carrying Stephanie's diaper bag. "Thanks for watching Stephanie for me. I'm sorry I was late."

"It's no problem." Kim still wondered why Kayla was so cold. "Umm . . . is something wrong, Kayla?"

"What could possibly be wrong, Kim?" Kayla asked sarcastically. "In five days I get to wait while the hospital board decides if I get to ever work at University Hospital again; my husband comes home looking like he's been through the wringer, but won't tell me about it; and my sister knows why, but she won't tell me about it either."

"Whoa, little sister," Kim said. She was completely shocked by Kayla's outburst. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm sorry." Kayla sighed. "It's just been kind of a bad day. Let me get Stephanie and we'll get out of your hair."

"You're not in my hair, Kay," Kim said calmly. "I do hope you know that I'm not keeping anything from you about Steve because I want to. I just can't reveal what happens in my sessions with Steve unless he gives me permission."

"I know." Kayla nodded her head slightly. "But he won't tell me, and that leaves me on the outside looking in, and it's a little frustrating right now."

"I can see that," Kim said. She knew she could not reveal anything that had happened with Steve, but maybe she could give Kayla some help anyway. "Have you told Steve how you feel?"

Kayla gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Yes, I've told him. Not that it does any good. He just says he wants to protect me from the bad things that happened to him. That he's afraid of hurting me again."

"You don't think that's true?" Kim asked, encouraged that Kayla was talking.

"I don't know." Kayla's frustration came through. "I was always the person that Steve opened up to, even when he wouldn't open up to anybody else. I can't understand why he won't open up to me now, but he'll-" Kayla stopped. "It doesn't matter. I need to get Stephanie and go."

"You don't understand why he'll open up to me," Kim said. She finally understood Kayla's anger. "That's what you wanted to say, isn't it?"

"I said it doesn't matter, Kim," Kayla said, clearly irritated.

"No, no, no, little sister." Kim refused to back down. "You're mad at me because Steve is talking to me instead of you. Just admit it."

"Fine, I admit it," Kayla snapped. "I know I should be grateful to you for helping him. I am grateful. But it doesn't make it hurt any less to feel shut out."

_Now you know how I felt_, Kim thought silently, but then felt instantly ashamed. Helping Steve was not some kind of punishment for Kayla. Taking a deep breath, Kim spoke quietly. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Kay."

"I'm sorry too," Kayla said, turning away. "It's not your fault. I know that. It's just been a bad day, like I said."

Kim decided not to push things any further. She remembered what Kayla had said about her hearing. "If there's anything I can do to help with the hospital board, I hope you'll let me know."

Kayla turned back to face Kim. "I don't think there's anything you can do, but I appreciate the offer. Really."

As Kayla finished speaking, the door flew open and Andrew came running in. "Mommy," he exclaimed. "Daddy let me play a game at the restaurant and look what I won." He held up a small stuffed toy, clearly proud of his achievement.

"That's wonderful," Kim said, examining his prize with care as Shane also entered the house. "Why don't you go put it in your room?"

"Okay," Andrew said, running off at top speed.

Kayla smiled as she picked up Stephanie. "Thanks again for watching Stephanie, Kim. We'd better be going." She headed for the door and stopped in front of Shane. "I'm glad you made it home safe-" Kayla paused suddenly, and her expression changed from a smile to concern. "What happened to your face?"

"It's nothing," Shane said. "Just a little accident." He smiled at Stephanie and then looked back at Kayla with a sympathetic look. "Julie told me about your suspension. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so," Kayla said. "I got myself into this mess and I'll just have to get myself out . . . somehow." Turning back to Kim, Kayla gave a small smile. "Thanks again."

Kim saw Kayla take another look at Shane's face and shake her head. "Just an accident, huh?" Kayla clearly did not believe Shane's explanation any more than Kim did. "Well . . . whatever happened, I'm glad you're home." With that, Kayla and Stephanie left the house and left Shane and Kim alone.

"So how much did that little toy cost you anyway?" Kim asked with a chuckle.

"No more than ten or twenty times what it's actually worth," Shane said.

They stood there in an awkward silence until Andrew ran back out. Bending down, Shane said, "Come give me a hug, Sport. I've got to be going now."

Andrew threw his arms around Shane. "Bye, Daddy. Will I see you again soon?"

"Of course, you will," Shane replied. "We'll get together again very soon, I promise." Standing up, Shane looked at Kim. "I'll be in touch about re-establishing the visitation schedule."

"Sure," Kim said, trying to match Shane's remoteness.

Shane seemed a little taken aback and he took a moment before responding. "Well then . . . goodnight, Kim."

"Goodnight, Shane," Kim said.

Shane turned and left the Brady house. Kim stared at the door for several minutes until roused by Jeannie's cries from the playpen. As she picked Jeannie up and cooed to her daughter, she thought back to all that had happened over the last month. Steve had returned, they had spent weeks at Donovan Manor, Marlena was alive, and, yet, somehow, it felt like nothing had changed. No, she reminded herself, she had changed. She was going to stop pining for Shane. If he wanted to limit their talks to visitation schedules, then so be it. Kim would move on with her life, one way or another.


	109. Chapter 108

Steve unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment. Kayla was nowhere to be seen but he soon heard her in the kitchen and could smell dinner being prepared. Taking off his jacket and tossing in on a nearby chair, he called out, "Sweetness, I'm home."

"We're in the kitchen," he heard her reply.

Walking into the kitchen, Steve saw his daughter in her playpen playing with a stuffed animal while Kayla prepared a salad at the counter. Stopping only to give his wife a quick kiss on the cheek, he walked to the playpen and picked up Stephanie.

"How's my little Sweetness," he said, kissing her on her chubby cheeks. "Did you have fun at Grandma and Grandpa's today?"

Stephanie babbled back at Steve, then grabbed his cheek and said "Papa!" Steve let out a hearty laugh, knowing he would never tire of hearing Stephanie say that word. Kissing her again, he put her back in the playpen and turned back to his wife.

"Dinner smells wonderful, Sweetness," he said, wondering if she was still mad at him.

"Thanks," Kayla replied with a small smile. Pointing at a small plate on the counter, she said, "Why don't you feed Stephanie her dinner while I finish preparing ours?"

"All right," Steve said, figuring any further conversation would have to wait. He took the small plate from the counter and set it on the table, then pulled Stephanie's high chair to the table. Picking up Stephanie from the playpen, he set her down in the high chair and watched as she dug into the pieces of hot dog on the plate. In between the hot dog bites, he also tried to get her to eat her peas and carrots and could hear Kayla giggling behind him as Stephanie seemed more interested in throwing the food than eating it.

"You think this is funny, Sweetness?" Steve asked, as he dodged another handful of carrots.

"Who me?" Kayla said innocently.

"Yes, you," Steve replied, pulling Stephanie from her high chair and carrying her over to Kayla. "Come on, little Sweetness, give Mama a big hug and kiss."

Kayla squealed and dodged the attack from her food-covered daughter. Steve's loud laugh mingled with Stephanie's infectious giggles as they chased Kayla around the kitchen. Finally, Kayla gave up and accepted a kiss from her daughter.

"Okay," Kayla said, trying to catch her breath. "Why don't you take this little monster and give her a quick bath." Looking at the bits of food on Steve's face, she giggled and said, "You could probably use one too."

"Ha ha," Steve replied. "Let's go get cleaned up, baby girl." Steve carried Stephanie into the bathroom and quickly ran her bath. As he bathed her and then put her in her pajamas, Steve could not help but feel slightly amazed. For so many years, he had believed that a wife and children were things that happened to other people, not to someone like him. Then he had thought it had all been taken from him. Now, here he was giving his daughter a bath and about to sit down to dinner with his wife. Once again, he vowed to do everything in his power to never let it be taken from him again.

Carrying a now-clean Stephanie back into the kitchen, Steve deposited her in the playpen with her toys and sat down at the table. Kayla carried the lasagna to the table and sat down.

"This looks great, Sweetness." Steve dug into the salad and lasagna. "I guess it's my turn to cook tomorrow."

Kayla nodded, but did not say anything. Sighing, Steve looked at her. "I guess you're still mad at me, huh?"

Kayla looked up. "I'm not mad, Steve. I'm just . . . frustrated . . . a little hurt, I guess. I know that you want to protect me, and I love you for that. But I'm not sure I can just accept being shut out of everything you are going through."

"I know," Steve said. There really was nothing else to be said. He understood how frustrating it was to be shut out. He remembered when Kayla had been dealing with the emotional aftermath of the rape. All he had wanted to do was take away her pain, but she had been unable to really open up to him. There were a lot of reasons for that, some of which had been his fault, but things did not really get better until he had stepped back and let her deal with some of it on her own, with the help of a counselor.

Taking Kayla's hand, Steve looked into her eyes. "I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. I wish I could do what you want me to do. But, I can't. Not yet."

Kayla sighed and nodded. "Then I'll wait," she said with quiet determination. "But don't expect me to pretend that I'm okay with it. I don't want to fight anymore, but I'm not going to lie about how I feel."

"I don't want you to pretend or to lie," Steve said. "And I don't want to fight anymore, either. We're just going to have to try and work through day by day."

Kayla nodded again. They ate in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Kayla spoke again. "So . . . what was the errand you had to run today?"

Steve started a little at her question. He had expected her to ask, but their conversation about his therapy sessions had almost made him forget his visit to Lawrence. For a moment he was tempted to lie, knowing she was not going to like the truth, but he also knew that he could not expect Kayla to be honest with him if he was not honest with her.

"I went to visit Lawrence Alamain," he said, then braced himself for the storm that was likely to follow.

"You did what?" Kayla exclaimed. "How could you do that without telling me?"

"Hold on, Kayla," Steve said, raising his hands. "I didn't tell you before because there were a few other things going on and I am telling you about it now."

Kayla's eyes narrowed, but she took a breath and then spoke more calmly, "Okay, you're telling me now. So why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"

"Nothing happened," Steve said. "I went to the prison. They brought him out. I introduced myself and let him know that he better stay away from my family."

"So you threatened him?" Kayla said.

"No, I didn't threaten him," Steve replied. "I warned him. Don't you understand, Kayla? You, Bo, Roman . . . Donovan . . . you all know the guy. He destroyed my life and took me away from you - and I've never even seen his face. I needed to see him and size him up so I had a better idea of who I was dealing with. That's why I went."

"I just want him out of our lives," Kayla said. "He's taken too much from us already."

"I know, baby." Steve nodded in agreement. "But we can't hide from him either. We both know it's possible he might come after me, or you and Stephanie. I need all the information I can get about him to prevent that from happening."

Kayla did not respond. Instead, she got up from the table and began gathering dishes. Steve could see the unshed tears in her eyes. Standing up he went to her and put his arms around her, stilling her movements. Speaking softly, he said, "I promise that I won't let anything happen to you or Stephanie. And I will do everything in my power to keep him from hurting anyone else we love."

Again, Kayla just nodded, but he could feel her relax a little in his embrace. After a few moments, he stepped back and helped Kayla clear the table. They worked together in silence until the food was put away and the dishes were in the sink, and they started cleaning the dishes.

Suddenly, Steve remembered Kayla's meeting with Neil earlier in day. Mentally kicking himself for not asking about it earlier, he said, "Baby, you never told me what happened in your meeting with Neil."

Kayla sighed but remained focused on the dish she was washing. "He told me that the hospital board hearing was scheduled for five days from today." Her tone was emotionless. "So I guess that's when we'll know what happens with my career at University Hospital."

Steve's heart sunk. He knew how much Kayla's nursing career meant to her - how much it was a part of her. Forcing an optimistic tone into his voice, he said, "No, that's when this whole mess will be cleared up and you can go back to work."

That brought a small smile to Kayla's face. "I hope you're right, Steve."

"Of course I'm right," he said, giving her a grin. Taking the dish from her hands, he set it on the counter, turned Kayla to him, and drew her into his arms. "It's going to be okay, baby. No matter what happens we're going to be okay."


	110. Chapter 109

Shane set down the last file folder and ran a hand over his tired eyes. For the past two days - since the day after he had returned to Salem - he had been reviewing everything the ISA had on Lawrence Alamain's operations. So far, they made a spider web look neat and tidy.

From what Shane could tell from the reports, after the Egypt raid, Alamain's people had shut down four known facilities that the ISA suspected were used for research and development of everything from new oil drilling techniques to so-called "medical" research. Some of the scientists were shipped to different countries and new facilities opened, albeit with new screening procedures that both existing and new employees had to undergo. Only two of the six ISA agents undercover in Alamain's operation had managed so far to get through the screening and one had been found out and killed in Madagascar.

And all of that had happened while Lawrence was locked up in the local Salem prison.

Somehow, Lawrence was still running his operation, even though his cell and almost all of his prison visits were monitored, and his entire house was crawling with ISA bugs and hidden cameras. The place was wired from the wine cellar in the basement to the attic. There was no way any conversation could take place in the house without it being captured by the ISA. Not to mention that the ISA had round-the-clock surveillance teams watching the front and rear entrances to the house, recording everyone who entered or exited.

So how was Lawrence still operating under the nose of the ISA? Process of elimination left only one explanation: that Lawrence was using his attorney to carry out his orders. Maurice Marchand was the only visitor whose conversations were not recorded.

But how did Shane prove it? No judge would authorize recordings of legal communications and the prison warden, despite being an old friend of Shane's and loathing Lawrence, refused to allow the ISA to record Lawrence's and Marchand's meetings without a court order. That was the same warden who had been perfectly happy to let Shane plant Johnny Corelli in the prison to trick Cal into trying to escape. Apparently, it was a lot easier to deny an entrapment claim than explain away a tape of a confidential conversation.

_That's not going to stop me_. Maybe he could not record Lawrence's meetings with the attorney, but he could see what the attorney did after those meetings.

Shane picked up the phone and called Tarrington.

"It's Donovan," Shane said. "I've gone through the files and I want to start by putting round-the-clock surveillance on Alamain's lawyer. Let's also get a unit inside and wire Marchand's office. . . . Yes, I know it's a lawyer. . . . Yes, I know we don't have a court order, but I don't care. We won't use anything unrelated to Alamain, and even that will just be for background. We need to know what he's up to." After Tarrington grudgingly approved, Shane added, "We'll have a 'cleaning crew' go in tonight or tomorrow. They'll go in at night, so the office should be empty, giving them plenty of time to make sure everything's operational."

With that done, Shane turned to some other outstanding issues. "What have the scientists come up with on Egypt?" The ISA had assembled several of their top scientists and medical personnel to review Shane's and Nowicki's reports on the raid and the effects they had described from the chemical fire.

Tarrington did not sound very optimistic. "Dr. Reilly's team doesn't have enough information right now. Has Johnson remembered anything else?"

Not that Shane knew, but then he had not discussed Steve's progress with Kim yet. After their exchange the day he came back to Salem, he had tried to keep his distance. But he would have to begin pushing soon.

"I haven't had a chance to discuss matters with Kim," Shane said. "I've been too busy trying to get up to speed on the Alamain investigation."

"Shane . . . We need to find out what Johnson knows. I told you in Cyprus that it is critical. I've already given you a great deal of latitude because he's a member of your family, but if we do not get answers soon, we have ways of extracting the information."

Shane understood what Tarrington meant. In the years since Shane had tried an ISA 'truth serum' on Emma, the scientists had improved the agents significantly. But Steve would have to be restrained and possibly sedated before they could use something like that on him. And that meant locking him up.

"Give me more time, Tarrington. I'm sure Kim's made progress." Shane hoped he could back that up. "Before I left England, Steve was opening up to her. So let me talk to her and see what she can tell me."

"Very well, Shane," Tarrington said. "But I'm giving you two weeks. If you don't have significant progress by then, we move Johnson."

That was about as much as Shane could have hoped for on Steve right now. If it came to it, Shane would do everything he could to prevent the ISA from taking Steve, but Shane did not want to get into open warfare with his boss unless it became absolutely necessary. For the moment, Steve was safe; Shane could reassess the situation in a week.

Rather than continuing that topic of discussion, Shane changed the subject. "In the meantime, what about getting a couple of scientists to the compound in Egypt? If we could get soil samples or have them check the ruins, maybe they could find out what chemicals were there."

"That's not going to happen," Tarrington said. "The Egyptian government has the compound being guarded by regular army units. Alamain paid a lot of money to get that compound up and running, and the government is quite unhappy about the raid. It's just a good thing they have no idea who did it or we would have quite an international incident on our hands - as you well know."

"If that's a reminder to keep things quiet, Tarrington, I didn't need one." Shane was well-aware of the consequences of the ISA's involvement in the raid becoming public. "I guess it's too much to hope that we could sneak an operative into one of the units assigned to guard the facility?" Tarrington's harsh laugh gave the answer. With a sigh, Shane said, "Yes, I suppose that was overly optimistic."

They finished the call by dealing with a couple of routine matters, but Shane barely paid attention. The entire time he was thinking about how he needed to find out what Steve knew. As Shane hung up the phone, he knew he would have to discuss the matter with Kim, though he would have liked to avoid another uncomfortable scene.

Shane started to pick up the phone, but there was a knock at the door of his study. "Come in," he called out.

Simmons entered. "Mrs. Johnson is here to see you."

"Kayla?" Shane asked, standing up from his desk. That was definitely a surprise.

"Yes . . . me, Shane." Kayla walked past Simmons, a determined look on her face. "We need to talk - and I'm not leaving until you tell me what I want to know."


	111. Chapter 110

Just a quick response to a question that was asked in one of the reviews - does Shane know that Jeannie is his daughter at this time. The answer is no. Nobody knows but Cal and Dr. Norris, the doctor he blackmailed to trick Kim. In the show, Shane learned about Jeannie in November 1991, after Cal kidnapped Kim and Kayla, and let it slip that Jeannie was really Shane's. Since this story departs from canon in July 1991, none of that has happened.

Thanks very much for the question and, let me add, your reviews are very appreciated.

Now back to the story.

# # # # # #

"So then what happened?" Kim asked.

She and Steve were walking along the pier again. Kim had been unsure what to expect given Steve's reluctance to meet two days earlier, but had been pleasantly surprised to find Steve waiting on the pier for her. She had taken him back to where they had left off at the end of the prior session, and was encouraged by the fact that this time Steve had been able to describe what had happened - including the way he had been restrained - without reliving it. She knew that was the key to his recovery. They were now discussing what had happened after he was transferred to the second facility.

"They had me in a room, kind of like a cell, but without bars and with a locked door. There were no windows and just a bed, sink and toilet. I'm not sure how long I was there, because I got sick."

"What do you mean, you 'got sick'?" Kim asked.

Steve looked like he was trying to remember. "It was like a flu, but real bad. I was either freezing cold or burning up, couldn't stand . . . . things like that."

"That sounds like the virus Bo and Peachy had," Kim said.

Steve stared out at the water again. "So that's when they tested it on me, I guess. I remember them giving me all sorts of shots while I was sick. They'd give me one and wait a while. Sorry, don't know how long. And then they'd do it again."

"That was probably testing the antidote."

"Yeah," Steve said with a nod. "That's me. Alamain's 'test dummy.' Guess it's good one of them worked."

"Did you ever hear anyone mention Lawrence?" Kim waited expectantly for an answer, hoping Steve had something useful to give.

"No. . . . I don't think so." Steve looked like he was concentrating hard again, and then he shook his head. "Uh uh. But they rarely talked in front of me."

"What do you mean?" Kim asked, encouraged by how much Steve was talking.

"Just what I said," Steve replied. "The doctors or whatever they were never spoke directly to me or even to each other, at least that I could understand. Sometimes they spoke to each other but it was always in some language I didn't understand."

"Did you recognize the language?" Kim asked, hoping for some kind of clue.

Steve was silent and for a moment Kim thought he was starting into another flashback, but then he spoke, "Not really. I know it wasn't Spanish or Italian or something like that." He paused, the concentration clear on his face. "I don't think it was anything European, I've heard most of those before. Maybe Arabic or whatever they speak in India or Africa, something like that. The doctors always had caps and masks on, so I couldn't really see their faces. But a lot of them had dark skin." He shrugged. "That's the best I can do."

"You're doing great," Kim said. "What about the guards? Did they speak to you?"

"Only to give orders," Steve replied, his voice growing harsh. "Or to tell me I wasn't obeying them fast enough."

"What happened if you didn't obey them fast enough?" Kim asked softly.

Steve was silent again, and Kim saw the now-familiar flexing of his hands and forearms. "Steve," Kim called out. "You're still in Salem on the pier with me." Steve's head turned back towards her and the flexing stopped. Kim repeated her question. "What happened if you didn't obey them fast enough?"

"They'd hit me, usually a shot to the ribs or the jaw," Steve said, his jaw clenching at the memory. "I . . . I tried to fight back at first, but . . ." He stopped. His fists and forearms were flexing again.

"But what?" Kim asked. She knew she was walking a fine line, but she felt like Steve was on the cusp of a breakthrough. "Remember Steve . . . you're still on the pier in Salem. They can't hurt you here."

Steve continued to flex his fists and forearms, but then he spoke. "At first, they just beat me more if I fought back, but, after, awhile one of the guards got a better idea. He'd. . . ." Steve stopped talking. Kim saw the glassy look in his eye, and knew he was reliving it rather than remembering.

"Steve," she called out, keeping a close eye on him. "Look at me, Steve."

"No!" Steve yelled out, crouching against the nearby piling.

Keeping a bit of distance between her and Steve, Kim moved until she was in front of Steve. Once again she called out to him, "Steven," she said sharply, hoping the tone would help break through his flashback. "Look at me!" She softened her voice. "You're safe now. Nobody can hurt you here." She held her breath, waiting to see if he would respond.

Nothing changed for a long moment. Then Steve's eyes began to focus and his arms relaxed. Taking a deep breath, he stood up slowly and looked at Kim.

"It happened again, didn't it?" he asked, sounding exhausted.

"Yes," Kim said. Stepping towards Steve, she put her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. You came out of it pretty quickly."

"It's not okay," Steve said, pacing around the pier. "It's never going to be okay if I can't stop losing it whenever I try to remember this stuff."

"Steven," Kim said calmly. "I told you from the beginning that this would take time. It's not going to get better overnight. But you can't get discouraged. You're making progress all the time. Today, you were able to tell me something that set you off last time without having a flashback. That's an improvement. We just have to keep working."

Before Steve could respond, Kim heard a voice call out, "Mommy!" She turned to see Andrew running towards her with his grandfather trailing behind.

"Hi, honey," Kim called out. Andrew reached her, threw his arms around her, and gave her a hug. Then, Andrew turned and saw Steve.

"Uncle Steve!" he shouted, excitedly.

"Hey little dude." Steve walked over to Andrew and held out his hand. "Gimmee five."

Andrew slapped Steve's hand and giggled while Steve mussed his hair. Kim rolled her eyes at the antics of her brother-in-law and son. She was still shaking her head when Shawn finally reached them.

"Fancy meeting you two here," Shawn said.

Kim gave Steve a glance, then quickly responded. "We actually just ran into each other as well. I guess it's a happy coincidence all the way around." She gave her father a kiss on the cheek. "So what are you two doing out here?"

"Grandpa took me to see his boat," Andrew said before Shawn could answer. "Now we're going back to have some of Grandma's chowder."

Kim laughed. "That's sounds like a great plan." Turning to Steve, she asked, "How does some chowder sound to you?"

"Sounds great." Steve gave Kim a grateful smile.

Kim took Andrew's hand and they all headed up the stairs to the street. Once they reached the sidewalk, Andrew pulled Kim ahead and urged her to hurry. Kim laughed at her energetic son. He never seemed to go anywhere at anything less than full speed. When they reached a corner, Kim looked over her shoulder and saw Steve and Shawn several yards behind.

Still holding Kim's hand, Andrew carefully looked both ways before starting across the street. _I guess Andrew was listening to those safety lessons_, she thought. _At least_ _something sunk in._

A noise interrupted her thoughts. It took a second, but then Kim's brain registered the sounds of tires squealing and an engine revving.

Kim swung her head toward the sounds. Up the street, a blue car raced toward her. It was only about 50 feet away.

"Andrew!" Kim screamed, realizing he was as much in the path of the car as she was. _I have to protect-_

She did not finish the thought or have a chance to react. Something hit her from behind, and she stumbled forward. She almost lost hold of Andrew, but she managed to keep her grip and jerked him forward. He cried out, but she barely heard him over the sound of the car engine and a loud "oomph." Holding Andrew in a tight grip, Kim spun around.

"Steve!"

He was rolling sideways along the hood of the car. Then, he flew off the right edge and sailed into the street. Steve landed with a thud and continued rolling until he came to a stop.

Kim was torn between rushing to Steve and watching the car. She heard Shawn yell Steve's name and knew her father would reach Steve first, so she looked at the car, which was speeding away. She tried to spot the license plate number, but the car had no plate. All she knew was that it was a Ford. The car turned right at the first corner, and she caught a glimpse of the driver. She saw nothing more than a hat and sunglasses. Then, the car and driver disappeared.

Still holding Andrew, Kim turned back in Steve's direction. He was stirring as Shawn hovered over him.

"Are you okay, son?" Shawn asked.

"I'm fine," Steve said, but his voice was shaky. He pulled himself to his hands and knees, and shook his head a little. He seemed to test out his arms and legs before he rose gingerly to his feet. "I'm fine," he repeated. "Car just clipped me." Steve turned to Kim and Andrew and limped over to them. He studied them for a moment. "Are you two okay?"

"Thanks to you." Kim tried to keep the trembling out of her voice. She looked down at Andrew who was staring at Steve with eyes as big as saucers. Kneeling down, she pulled Andrew into a tight embrace. She did not want to think about what could have happened if Steve had not pushed them out of the way. After a moment, she felt Steve's hand on her elbow and she stood up.

"Come on," Steve said. "Let's get back to the Fish Market." He looked at Kim, and she knew what he was thinking. This was no random accident. Someone had tried to kill her.

Steve began limping down the sidewalk. Kim continued to clutch Andrew, as she and Shawn followed close behind. Kim felt her father's arm go around her shoulder and she leaned into him. She needed her Papa's quiet strength to keep herself from falling apart.


	112. Chapter 111

Kayla stood in the entrance of Shane's study. He was standing behind his desk and looking at her in confusion.

"I don't understand," he said. "What do you want to know?"

Kayla pulled the door closed behind her so they were alone. Then she strode purposefully toward the desk. "Steve won't talk to me about what happened to him, but you know, Shane. And you need to tell me."

"Kayla, I don't know," he said. "You can't possibly believe Steve's talked to me about anything."

_That's not good enough_, she thought. "He may not be talking to you, but you were there when he was found, so you know what happened to him. Where was he? How did the ISA get him out? Tell me that, at least."

Shane seemed to hesitate, and then pursed his lips. "I can't, Kayla. I can't tell you."

"Why? Because it has to be some huge secret?"

"Yes," Shane said sharply. "It must stay a secret." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you, but I can't."

"No. . . ." Kayla paused. "I'm the one who's sorry. I should have known that your ISA secrets would come first. Don't you get it? He's pushing me away and shutting me out. He's running around telling Kimberly everything, but he won't be honest with me." She tried to fight back the tears that were welling in her eyes. "Can't you understand? It's like I'm supposed to be happy that he's back and go on with my life, but, at the same time, there's this wall between us and it feels like it's getting bigger every day."

Shane came around the desk and approached her, but Kayla turned away. She flinched as he put a hand on her shoulder.

"I think I do understand," Shane said quietly. Something about his tone surprised Kayla, so she turned back around.

"How could you possibly understand?"

Shane took a deep breath and stepped away. He walked over to the window and stared outside. After a minute, he said, "When I remembered everything . . . after finding Kim, stopping Cal . . . we tried to act like everything was fine. We were together and that's all that mattered, right? That's all we needed to be happy. Kim wanted to talk about Cal, but I didn't want to deal with it. I never took the time to sort out my feelings about it."

"I don't see how that has anything to do with Steve," Kayla said.

"Please, Kay, hear me out." Shane still was staring outside. "See . . . because I didn't figure out how I felt, I just buried those feelings. I told Kim it didn't matter and everything was going to go back to the way it was." He let out a weak laugh. "We told each other we'd be together forever . . . that nothing would ever tear us apart again."

Kayla was still unclear what this had to do with Steve, but she listened anyway. Shane had once told her how hard it had been to lose Kim, but he had never really explained why he had pushed her away.

"That was a mistake," he said. "All I did was bury the issue and, when Kim got pregnant, all those feelings and all that anger came pouring back out." He turned his head and looked at Kayla. "She'd moved on so quickly. Two months, Kayla. It was two months after she thought I'd died that she was in Cal Winters' bed. Do you know how that made me feel? I mean, was our love so meaningless that she could replace me so fast?"

Kayla could hear the pain in his voice, and she tried to reach out to him. "No, of course not. You don't know what it was like for Kim."

"That's not the point," Shane said. "The point is I never figured out how I felt about Cal before we 'moved on,' so we couldn't deal with it together. And when Kim found out she was pregnant . . . well . . ."

"All those unresolved feelings came flooding back?" Kayla asked, suspecting where he was going.

Shane nodded. "But it also made things worse for Kim. Because we were supposedly so happy and everything about Cal was in the past . . . I think it made it harder on her when she found out about the baby."

"And she was afraid to tell you the truth? Is that what you mean?" Kayla remembered how long Kim had kept Jeannie's paternity a secret. But she still did not see what Shane was getting at.

"Yeah," Shane looked out the window again. "We'd built the perfect house of cards and she didn't want to do anything to upset it. And that only made the collapse worse when it finally happened."

Kayla shook her head. "So it was worse, Shane. But what does this have to do with Steve and me?"

"Don't you see, Kay?" Shane turned back and began walking toward her. "Steve's doing the right thing. He needs to take the time to deal with what happened to him and figure things out."

"But it's not the same thing," Kayla said. "It's not because Steve's keeping secrets. This is about Steve's emotional issues and my trying to help him. You needed to work things out with Kim so your could forgive her. Steve doesn't need to get over feeling betrayed. He just needs to open up to me like he always did - like we fought so hard for him to do."

Shane sighed. "I know it's not exactly the same. But if you push Steve to open up like he always did before, he might feel pressured to just go back to how things were before he 'died,' and that might cause him to bury his memories - like I did about how I felt about Kim and Cal."

For a moment, the room fell silent as Kayla tried to think about what Shane was saying. She appreciated his openness. This was about as open as she had ever seen him about his feelings for Kim, but while what he was saying made sense - for him and Kim - that did not mean it was the same for Steve and her.

"I don't know, Shane," Kayla said, not feeling particularly convinced. What Shane had not explained was why Steve could talk about things with Kim, not her. She debated saying that, but before she could, the phone rang.

"Sorry. . . . That could be Tarrington." Shane crossed the room to the phone on his desk and picked it up. He listened and Kayla saw his eyes widen. "Caroline . . . wait. Slow down and tell me what happened."

Kayla immediately grew worried. There was only one reason Caroline would call Shane. "Did something happen to Andrew?" Kayla asked. She waited as Shane raised a hand and listened intently.

"So everyone's all right?" Shane waited for a response, then said, "I'm with Kayla now. We'll be right over. And call Roman . . . . He's already on his way? Good."

He hung up the phone and looked at Kayla, who knew the news was not good even before Shane explained.

"There was an accident," Shane said. His voice shook. "Caroline didn't say much about it, except Kim, Andrew and Steve were involved."

"Are they okay?" Kayla said, her voice rising.

"Yes," he said quickly. "Caroline said everyone's fine. Everything's okay"

Kayla shook her head. It was not fine. Her breath came in short bursts and she began to shake. _How can something like this happen just when I got him back_?

She felt Shane's arms wrap around her and, without thinking, she leaned into his embrace. Kayla took a few deep breaths as her panic began to diminish. "I'm sure he's okay," Shane said. "Caroline would have said if anyone was hurt."

Kayla was still trembling though, as Shane began steering her toward the front door. Her mom could say everything was fine, but Kayla felt in her bones that something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.


	113. Chapter 112

"It was a blue car, a Ford, I think," Steve said for what felt like the thousandth time since Roman had arrived a few minutes prior. "That's all I know, Roman. It all happened too fast."

Steve saw Roman glance over to where Kimberly was sitting, with Andrew on her lap. Then Roman lowered his voice and whispered, "And you're sure the car was trying to hit Kim?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense," Steve said. "I was still on the sidewalk, so he couldn't have been after me."

"All right, partner." Roman sighed in frustration. "Thanks for saving my sister and nephew."

"Hey they're my family too, you know," Steve said. Standing up gingerly, he added, "I need to try and call Kayla again."

Steve and Roman both turned towards the door as they heard it open. Kayla ran in, followed closely by Shane. Steve's eye narrowed. _What the hell is she doing with him_? Kayla ran straight to Steve, while Shane went to Kim and Andrew.

"Are you okay?" Kayla asked, the concern etched on her face.

"I'm fine," Steve said, still looking over at Shane.

"What happened? All Ma told Shane was that there had been some kind of car accident."

"I'm afraid it was no accident, Sis." Roman responded before Steve could answer. "From what we can tell, it looks like your husband here saved Kimmie and Andrew from a deliberate attack."

"What?" Kayla said, covering her mouth in shock. Steve looked again at Shane, who had Andrew in his arms and a look of pure anger on his face. For the first time, Steve noticed the fading bruises on Shane's face. Someone had done a number on him.

Steve stepped forward to comfort Kayla and could not help but grimace. Kayla grabbed his arm. "You're hurt, aren't you?" Looking down at his torn pants and the blood on his shirt, Kayla gasped. "We need to get you to the hospital and get you checked out."

"No hospitals," Steve said sharply. Then he looked at Kayla and softened his tone. "I don't need a doctor, Sweetness. It's just some scrapes and bruises."

"Okay. . . . If you're sure," Kayla said. "I'll get those scrapes cleaned up as soon as we get home."

"See. . . ." Steve grinned. "All I need is a little tender, loving care from my wife. No hospital and no doctor can fix me up like you can."

Kayla rolled her eyes, but also smiled back at Steve. "You're impossible, you know?"

"So you've always told me, Sweetness," Steve said.

Turning to Roman, who was talking to Shane, Steve called out, "Hey, Roman . . . can we go home now?"

Roman walked over and nodded. "Sure, Steve," he said. "Just call me if you remember anything else - no matter how minor."

"I will," Steve said.

Steve and Kayla walked over to where Kim was still sitting. Kayla sat down next to Kim and gave her sister a big hug. "I'm so glad you and Andrew are okay, Kimmie. I don't know what I would do if-" Kayla stopped, her voice choking with emotion.

"Hey, Kay," Kim said softly. "I'm fine and so is Andrew. . . . Thanks to your hero of a husband."

Steve smiled down at Kim. "I'm no hero. I'm just glad I was there." His voice grew more serious. "You be careful from here on out. I know Roman and Shane will take good care of you, but if you need anything, just holler. Okay?"

"Okay," Kim said.

Kayla hugged Kim again and then stood up. Steve took her hand and headed for the door. He stopped as he heard Shane call his name.

"Steve." Shane walked towards them. "I just want to thank you for . . . well for what you did today."

"You don't have to thank me, Donovan. Like you told me once, it's what family does."

"Right," Shane said. Looking at Kayla, he gave her a soft smile. "You two take care then."

"We will," Kayla replied.

Steve felt his anger rise again and knew he was being unreasonable. _You have to let this go. _Taking a deep breath, he put his arm around Kayla's shoulders and again turned for the door. As they walked outside, he was surprised to see Kayla's car in the parking lot. Turning to her, he said, "I thought you rode over here with Shane. I mean . . . I saw you come in together, and you said you were with him when Caroline called."

"We did come in together, but we drove separately," Kayla said, avoiding his eye. "I guess you want to know why I was at Shane's?"

"The question did cross my mind," Steve replied as they reached the car.

Kayla did not answer as she helped him into the car and then went around to the driver's side. Inside, she fastened her seat belt and started the car. Then, she turned to him. "I went over there because I wanted information about your rescue and what was going on when they found you." She put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot.

Steve wanted to be angry at her and, in some way, he was, but he also was not really surprised. Kayla's determination and tenaciousness - particularly where he was concerned - were part of why he had fallen in love with her, and pretty much the entire reason they had ever got together in the first place. Sighing, he said, "So what did Mr. ISA tell you?"

"Nothing," Kayla said, obviously frustrated. "All your secrets are still safe from me."

"Baby, I'm not keeping secrets. I told you that. I'm just not ready to talk about all of this with you. Not when there is any chance I might lose control." Steve sighed, his own frustration breaking through. "I wish I knew how to make you understand that."

"I wish I knew too," Kayla said softly. "I just feel like there is this invisible wall between us and I don't know what to do about it."

Steve did not know how to respond. He knew she was right, but he did not know how to fix it either. They finished the rest of the drive in silence. When they reached the apartment building, Kayla parked the car and got out and helped Steve out of the passenger side. Steve grimaced as he stood, feeling the muscles tightening more with each passing minute. He limped into the house and let Kayla lead him into the bathroom. She gingerly removed his shirt, her eyes narrowing at the bruising on his side. She gently probed his abdomen and ribs.

"It doesn't feel like anything's broken," she said. "But you're going to have some really pretty bruises for a few days."

"It's hardly the first time," Steve joked.

"True," Kayla said as she began removing his pants. In other circumstances, Steve would have thoroughly enjoyed that experience, but he knew now was not the time. His eye narrowed as Kayla reached for the first aid kit and poured some antiseptic on a gauze pad. Bracing himself, he managed to stifle a yelp when the antiseptic touched the scrape on his leg. Looking down, he could see Kayla trying to suppress a grin.

"You think this is funny, Sweetness?" Steve asked through gritted teeth.

The smile left Kayla's face and she looked up at Steve. "No," she said in a serious tone. "I don't think this is funny at all. I could have lost you today."

"Hey. . . . " Steve stroked Kayla's cheek. "It's just some scrapes and bruises, nothing more. Please stop worrying about me."

"I'm never going to stop worrying about you," Kayla said. Standing up, she gave him a gentle kiss. "I'm going to get you some clothes and then call Jennifer and ask her to bring Stephanie home. She's probably wondering what happened to me since I told her I wouldn't be long, and that was hours ago."

Steve nodded and gave Kayla another kiss before she left. He stood in front of the mirror looking at the bruises forming on his side and felt a chill run through him. He was not worried about himself. He was worried about his family. Somebody had tried to kill Kim today, and Steve had a feeling that whoever it was would not be stopping after a single attempt.


	114. Chapter 113

Shane was still holding Andrew as Steve and Kayla left. He knew Roman wanted to go look at the scene and had some theories to discuss, but Shane was torn about leaving his family. _No, that's not right_, he reminded himself. _It's not really your family anymore. Your only family here is your son._

Andrew rested his head on Shane's shoulder. The boy was growing tired as the shock and fear faded away, replaced with exhaustion. Meanwhile, Shane was trying to contain his fury; he did not want Andrew to see his anger, but he knew he was failing to keep it from his face.

Roman looked at them. "Hey, partner, if you want to stay here-"

"No, it's okay. I want to take a look." Shane knew he had to do it. He had to see what they were up against. He took a deep breath, forced a smile to his face, and looked down at Andrew. "Listen, Sport, I need to go with Uncle Roman for a little while. Can you stay here and look after your mom?" He glanced over at Kim, who still looked rather shell-shocked.

Andrew responded with a solemn nod. "Yes, Daddy."

"That's my good boy," Shane said. He carried Andrew over to Kim, who pulled their son onto her lap. Shane looked Kim in the eyes, "Are you sure you're okay?" For a second, he started to raise his hand to touch her cheek, but stopped himself.

"We'll be okay." Kim was still shaken, but Shane knew her well enough to see that she was trying to put up a brave front.

"If you want, I can take Andrew tonight," Shane offered. "You can get some rest."

Kim shook her head. "I'm perfectly capable of caring for my son."

The harshness of her tone surprised Shane. He obviously did not mean to suggest she was incapable of taking care of Andrew. But rather than get into an argument, he just nodded, "Fine. I'm going to go with Roman." He leaned over and gave Andrew a kiss on the forehead. "Andrew, I'll come back to see you after I talk with Uncle Roman."

Shane followed Roman out the door. Neither said anything until they reached the street, but that was when Shane could no longer contain his anger. "Now tell me what the hell's going on!"

"Shane, I know you're angry-"

"Angry! That doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling!" Shane yelled. "Someone tried to kill Kimberly and almost killed my son in the process. You're damn right I'm angry."

Roman stood there and looked at him. "Look, I don't know much more than you." He turned and began walking down the street. "Pop's talking with some uniforms, so maybe he has some more information. We can take a look at the scene."

Shane ran a hand through his hair. He knew he had no business getting angry at Roman. It was hardly his fault. Shane nodded as he followed. "I'm sorry, Roman. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Hey, partner, trust me, I understand. I've been there more than a few times."

They turned a corner and Shane saw Shawn talking with a couple of uniformed officers. Some other men and women were crouched down in various spots around the street. Collecting evidence, most likely. Shane wanted to start interrogating everyone, but reminded himself that this was Roman's crime scene.

"What were Kim and Andrew even doing over here?" Shane asked.

Roman said, "According to Steve and Kim, they ran into each other on the pier and were heading to Ma and Pop's when they ran into Pop with Andrew. I guess they had gone to Pop's boat."

They reached Shawn, who looked at Roman. "I'm glad you're here, son." Then his expression turned stony as he said, "Shane." Without waiting for Shane to even respond, Shawn started explaining what had happened: how Kim and Andrew were in front of Steve and Shawn when the blue car pulled out into the street and sped toward Kim and Andrew. Shawn described how Steve pushed the others out of the way and was hit by the car, which never slowed until it turned right at the corner.

"Did you see the driver, Pop?" Roman asked.

Shawn shook his head. "Just a hat, a black baseball cap."

Shane studied the spot in the street where Shawn said Kim and Andrew had been standing. He stood there a long time, picturing the scene. Shane had no idea how much time had passed when Roman walked over.

"So what do you think?" Roman asked.

Shane pointed to the street. "No skid marks. The driver never slowed down."

"Yeah," Roman said. "There's some rubber down the block where the car was parked. He pulled out in a hurry."

"So he was waiting. He must have known Kim had gone to the pier." Shane looked at Roman. "Did she say if she went from the house?"

Roman nodded. "She said she got home from work and decided to take a walk to the pier, where she ran into Steve."

"So the driver knew she was there and knew the route she had to take to get back to Shawn and Caroline's." Shane paused as he thought. "Did anybody notice the car when it was parked?"

"Nothing more than what Kim told us. The driver had on a ball cap and sunglasses. Three witnesses said he was Caucasian. A fourth said he was Hispanic. And a fifth said he was Black."

"That's just great." Shane let out a deep breath. "That narrows it down to about 48 percent of the population of Salem. At least, that's assuming everyone's agreed that the driver was a man?" With a rueful shake of his head, Shane added, "If not for Steve. . . ." Shane could not finish the sentence out loud. _If not for Steve, I would have lost almost everything important in my life._

Roman reached out and patted Shane's shoulder. "Hang in there, partner. Andrew's fine." Almost hesitantly, he added, "And so is Kimmie."

"And the next time?" Shane looked at his friend. "How do we protect Kim from the next attack?"

"You don't know there's going to be a next time," Roman said.

Shane rolled his eyes and felt the anger boiling up again. "Oh, come on! We both know what the bloody hell's going on here! And we both know who's behind this."

"We don't know, Shane." Roman turned to face him. "We can suspect Alamain all we want, but we don't have any evidence."

"Evidence! You and I both know how good he is at covering his tracks. We can search from now til doomsday and not get enough evidence to put him away." Shane knew he was ranting, but he could not contain his frustration. "And in the meantime, he's going to keep taking shots at my family. What's it going to take before you do something? Kim in a bodybag?"

Roman grabbed Shane by the lapels of his jacket. "Listen to me, Shane. Kim's my family and I'm not going to let Alamain or anyone else hurt her. You're not the only one who's worried."

From behind Shane, Shawn spoke. "Kim's more your family, Roman, than his."

Shane jerked away from Roman and wheeled around. For much of the past year, Shane had endured Shawn's angry outbursts over his relationship with Kayla and his failed marriage to Kim. "Don't start, Shawn. I don't want to hear it. Someone just tried to kill-"

"That's right!" Shawn bellowed. "Someone tried to kill Kimmie, who was out here on her own instead of at home with her husband where she belongs. You're supposed to be the big hero, but where were you when your wife and son needed you?" He pointed at the bruises that were still evident on Shane's face. "You were probably off on some grand adventure so you can brag about fighting the bad guys, but where were you while Steve was protecting Kimmie and Andrew."

Shane started forward, but Roman pulled him back and stepped in front of him. "Pop . . . This isn't helping."

"I don't care if it's helping or not!" Shawn yelled. "He walked out on his responsibilities and look what could've happened because of it!"

Roman spun around and stopped Shane before he could move any closer. In a low voice, Roman said, "He doesn't mean it, Shane," even as Shawn insisted that he meant every word. "Just calm down. You're not doing Kim or Andrew any good by losing your cool."

Shane knew Roman was talking sense, and knew it was pointless to take out his anger on an old man. One of the uniformed officers pulled Shawn aside and began walking him back to the Fish Market. Meanwhile, Shane turned back to the street and looked at the people collecting evidence.

With a sigh, Shane said, "You know they won't find anything."

"Probably not," Roman conceded. "But we might get lucky. Look . . . There's really nothing more for us to see here. Let's go back to the house and you can say goodnight to Andrew-"

"And hopefully avoid another confrontation with your father," Shane muttered.

"Yeah, that too." Roman looked at him carefully. "But, seriously, Shane . . . Let's go take care of that and then let me buy you a drink. We can discuss Alamain, and there's something else I want to talk to you about."

From the tone of Roman's voice, Shane knew whatever the "something else" was, it was serious. And a drink would probably do him some good. Shane nodded and they turned and walked back to the Brady house.

When they arrived, Shawn was in the kitchen, pacing around and muttering angrily to himself. Shane did not have to guess the subject of his ire. Kim was trying to calm her father, and she glowered at Shane as he followed Roman into the house.

"Stay here, Papa," she said, then came into the living room. "That's just what we all needed, Shane. Did you really have to start another fight with my father?"

Shane took a deep breath and counted to 10 before he replied. Keeping his voice as even as he could, he said, "I didn't start anything, Kimberly. And I have no intention of arguing with your father. I just want to see Andrew."

"He's asleep," she said. "And I think it would be better for everyone here if you left."

"I just want to see . . ." Shane stopped himself. There was no point to having another confrontation. "Okay, Kim. You win. I'll go. When Andrew wakes up, would you tell him that I came back, and that I love him?"

She nodded, and a little of the hostility seemed to evaporate.

"Good," Shane said. "And you'll take care of yourself?"

"Don't worry, partner." Roman spoke before Kim could. "I'll have a squad car outside the house. Nobody's going to do anything to hurt my sis." Roman put a hand on Shane's shoulder and steered him toward the door.

"Shane," Kim said from behind him. Shane stopped just before he reached the door and turned back to her. "Andrew's first day of kindergarten is the day-after-tomorrow. You'll be there, won't you?"

Shane was caught unaware. He had not even put it in his schedule, and with his trying to come up to speed on the Alamain investigation, he had no idea what the next few days would be like. "I . . . I don't know. . . ."

"Shane," her voice rose and her tone took on more of an edge.

"I don't know right now," Shane said, more harshly than he intended. He sighed and lowered his voice. "Kim, that's the best I can do." Before Kim could lash out with another angry outburst, he turned and headed through the door.

Roman caught up to him just as he reached his car. Shane put his hands on the hood, took a few deep breaths, and wondered if things would ever get better between Kim and him. Then he stared out toward the street where the attack had happened, andthought, _Your relationship with Kim is the least of your worries. You've got to keep her safe from Lawrence_.

From a few feet behind him, Roman said, "Come on . . . I don't know about you, but I could really use that drink."


	115. Chapter 114

Steve grimaced as he slowly made his way down the stairs to the pier. The run-in with the car might not have caused permanent damage, but it had left him pretty sore. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Steve involuntary shuddered involuntarily. He had spent plenty of time walking along the pier since his return, but he had always avoided this spot. He knew it did not make any sense. He did not remember anything between leaving the party and waking up on the plane, bound and gagged. But he remembered leaving Kayla and Stephanie behind because Bo was in trouble, and he remembered that Bo was on pier 53 with a boat called the River Flyer.

Now, not quite a year later, here he was again on pier 53, again looking for Bo.

Looking down the pier, he could see The Fancy Face moored several slips away. Everything was calm and peaceful and the pier looked pristine. Yet, he could not shake the cold chill that ran down his spine.

Pushing those thoughts from his head, Steve continued towards Bo's boat. As he reached the boat and climbed aboard, he could hear voices below. He was about to call out, but stopped when he realized Bo and Carly were in the middle of an argument. Not wanting to disturb them, Steve turned to leave only to hear Carly telling Bo he could not testify at Kayla's hearing.

_What the hell does she mean he can't testify_? Steve thought angrily. Kayla's hearing before the hospital board was the following day, and Bo's testimony might be the difference between Kayla being able to return to work or being permanently dismissed. Steve moved closer to the hatch and listened.

"I promised Kayla I would be right there with her," Bo said. "I'm not going to back out on her now."

"I think it's a bad idea if you testify, Bo," Carly said firmly. "This could be very dangerous."

_Dangerous_? Steve wondered what Carly meant by that.

"I know that," Bo replied. "But I have to go through with it for Kay."

"What about for you?" Carly asked. "I hate the thought of giving Victor anything he can use against you."

_Victor_? _What does the Big Greek have to do with this_? This conversation was only making Steve more confused and more angry.

"I know," Bo repeated. "We've been through all of this."

"That doesn't make me worry any less," Carly said.

"I know that too," Bo replied. "I know you're worried and I'm worried too."

"Well then, you just won't testify and then neither of us will have to worry," Steve heard Carly say. That was enough for Steve. Without knocking, he headed down the stairs of the hatchway and entered the cabin.

"Well . . . I'm glad that nobody has to worry anymore," Steve said, staring hard at Carly. "Now why don't you explain why you think he shouldn't help his sister, especially considering that she's in this mess because she was trying to help him?"

"Steve!" Carly said, clearly surprised by his sudden appearance. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to talk to Bo about the hearing tomorrow." Steve glanced at Bo. "I wanted to let him know how much it means to Kayla and I that he's going to be there with her and help her out. I didn't expect to find you trying to talk him out of it. Kayla was all worried about coming between you and Bo, but it looks like you're the one she should have been worried about."

"Take it easy, Steve," Bo said. "You don't know the whole story. Besides, if you were up there listening, then you heard me say that I'm going to testify for Kayla."

"Yeah, I heard that. And you're right, I don't know the whole story." Steve's voice rose in anger. "All I know is that from what everybody has told me, Carly here was keeping some pretty big secrets when she hit town last year, including ones about Lawrence Alamain. And from what I understand, those secrets help put a lot of people in a lot of danger."

"That was a long time ago, Steve," Bo said calmly. "A lot has happened since then."

Steve looked at Bo. He knew his friend was trying to defend the woman he loved, but did he really think he needed to tell Steve that a lot had happened in the past year? Walking over to where Bo stood, Steve looked him in the eye. "Nobody has to remind me of how much has happened in the last year. I know it every time I see how much my little girl has grown, and every time I get another reminder of how my wife spent most of the last year without me."

Steve watched as Bo looked down, then raised his eyes and put a hand on Steve's arm. "I'm sorry. I know you missed out on a lot and I shouldn't have said it that way. I'm just trying to tell you that we've all moved past what happened back then."

Steve gave a sarcastic grin. "Maybe you've moved past it, Bo. But I haven't." Turning back to Carly, he said, "And I really don't understand how somebody who was apparently so easily forgiven for her secrets and lies can't forgive Kayla for hers."

"This has nothing to do with any grudge against Kayla," Carly said. "Yes, I'm still not happy that she kept the truth about Bo having the virus from everyone, but I know that Bo left her no choice." Carly glanced at Bo. "I would never keep Bo from helping his sister just because I was angry with her. If I really felt that way, then I wouldn't be appearing before the Board on her behalf."

"Then what's it about?" Steve demanded. "What could be so important that it should keep Bo from helping his sister?"

Steve saw Carly look at Bo. He turned to Bo and gave him a questioning look. "Is somebody going to tell me what his going on here?"

"Carly's afraid that if I testify for Kayla at the hearing, it might upset Victor," Bo said.

"Why would the Big Greek care about that?" Steve felt more confused than ever.

"It's a long story," Bo said. "Carly is trying to get an annulment from Victor and we're supposed to stay away from each other while that's going on. Carly's afraid that if Victor sees us both at the hearing, he'll use that against us."

"How about you, Bo," Steve asked. "Are you afraid?"

"Victor doesn't scare me," Bo said. "He never has. It doesn't matter anyway. Nothing is going to stop me from being there for Kayla." Bo looked at Carly and repeated, "Nothing."

"Good," Steve said. "And if you need any help dealing with Kiriakis, just let me know. I still owe him for what he did to Kayla."

"I don't need any help with Victor," Bo said. "And you need to focus on your family, not my problems."

"You are my family, Bo," Steve said quietly.

"I know," Bo replied. "But you've bailed me out enough for a lifetime. I can handle this one myself. If you want to help me out, just take care of my sister."

Steve knew that Bo was referring to their shared history and, specifically, to the fact that the explosion occurred when Steve had been trying to help Bo. Steve also knew Bo's request was his way of trying to keep Steve out of any trouble Bo might be in. Nodding softly, Steve said, "Okay. If that's how you want it, I'll stay out of it. But you remember that I'm here if you need backup."

"You always have been," Bo said, holding out his hand.

Steve shook Bo's hand, and they clapped each other on the shoulder. Then Steve turned to Carly. "I'm sorry you're having trouble with Victor and I'm sorry if I was hard on you before. But Kayla told me that you did everything you did back then because you were trying to help your brother, right?"

Carly nodded. "All I wanted to do was keep Frankie safe," she said softly.

"I can understand that," Steve said. "Frankie's like a little brother to me, too. So I hope you understand that Bo has to do what he needs to do to help his family."

Carly nodded again, but did not speak.

"Good." Steve turned back to Bo. "Well . . . I better get home and see how Kayla's doing. She's trying to act like it's no big deal, but I know she is worried about tomorrow."

"Tell her not to worry," Bo said, clapping Steve on the shoulder again. "I'll be there to make sure everything goes fine."

Steve grimaced as Bo's hand landed on his bruised shoulder. Bo did not miss Steve's reaction.

"Are you okay, man?" Bo asked.

"Yeah," Steve replied rotating his shoulder. "Just a little leftover from the other day."

Bo's expression grew serious. "I heard what happened with Kimber. Thank God you were there."

Steve shrugged. "I'm just glad she and Andrew are okay. Hopefully Roman can find some evidence and nail Alamain to the wall."

Bo nodded. "His day will come, man. It's just a matter of time."

It was Steve's turn to nod in agreement. The hope of seeing Lawrence taken down permanently was something they all held onto.

Turning back towards Carly, Steve said a quick goodbye and headed out the hatch, off the boat and back onto the pier. Looking around, he realized that, as much as things had changed in the last year, some things would never change. Bo was still Bo, and he would do everything in his power to help Kayla. Steve gave a small smile as he remembered a time when he had dismissed the importance of family and friends. Now he knew they were the only things that really mattered in his life. Tucking his hands in his pockets, he turned and headed up the stairs and back home to his family.


	116. Chapter 115

One of the comments asked if the Roman in the story was Wayne's Roman or Drake's Roman. The answer is that it's Drake's Roman. This story actually spans the period when Wayne returned in the show's timing, though the story has departed from canon so things will not go exactly how they went on the show.

P

P

P

Kayla had just finished giving Stephanie her bath when she heard Steve return home. She breathed a sigh of relief and momentarily wondered if she would ever stop worrying about him whenever he left their home. She knew it was irrational, but, every time he left, she was reminded of their last goodbye at the farewell party at Wings. And the same fear she had felt then would wash over her until he returned safely.

She heard Steve walk into Stephanie's bedroom. Kayla looked up as he said, "There's my girls." He walked over, gave Kayla a quick kiss, and then picked up the clean and squirming Stephanie, swinging her over his head. Stephanie's giggles filled the room and Kayla smiled, loving the sound and sight of her husband and daughter together. Kayla knew that she would never tire of either one.

Smiling at Steve, Kayla said, "Now that you've got her all riled up, you can figure out how to get her to sleep." Walking over to the dresser, she picked up the pink music box that had been her savior so many times before when Stephanie had been reluctant to go to sleep. "This usually works, if nothing else does."

Steve took the music box from Kayla and examined it. "Nice," he said. "Looks expensive." Then he opened the box, listened to the tune for a moment, and closed it. He set it back on the dresser and grinned. "Don't worry, Sweetness. I've got the magic touch."

Kayla laughed, leaned over and kissed her daughter. "Okay, 'Mr. Magic Touch.' I'll let you get to work." She kissed Stephanie again, then left the room.

Kayla walked into the kitchen and began cleaning the dishes from dinner. Since their argument a few days ago, she and Steve had settled into a tentative peace. She still hated that he would not share his memories with her, but she was also trying to accept his explanation. She knew his fears of hurting her again were real to him, and she knew that it would kill him if something like that happened again. He had made her promise to get out of the bed and stay away from him whenever he woke her with a nightmare. So far, she had tried to keep that promise - for his sake.

When he would finally wake up, Kayla would crawl back into bed and ask him if he wanted to talk about it. Inevitably, he would say no but she would never stop asking and would always hope his answer would change. After he had settled down again, she would hold him in her arms until he fell asleep again. Steve had said that having her there helped him, so she would continue to do what she could until he could finally open up to her. She had to believe that would happen someday.

After finishing the dishes, Kayla began wiping down the counters. She heard the familiar sound of Steve's harmonica and smiled softly as she listened. He really did have the magic touch with Stephanie.

As much as she tried to focus on the music, her mind kept turning to the hearing scheduled in the morning. Kayla wanted to believe that, once the board understood the full story, they would reinstate her. But she also knew that there were no guarantees.

Lost in her thoughts, she did not realize the music had stopped and did not hear Steve come into the kitchen. She jumped when he touched her shoulder.

"Sorry, baby," he said softly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," Kayla replied. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You looked like you were a million miles away." Steve softly stroked her cheek. "Are you worried about the hearing tomorrow?"

Kalya looked down. "Not really. . . . I'm sure it's going to be fine."

"Come here, Sweetness." Steve pulled Kayla into his arms and held her tight. When they separated, he silently led her into the living room and they sat down on the couch together. Kayla leaned against him and he, once again, wrapped his arms around her.

They sat together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and taking comfort from their closeness. Kayla felt Steve's fingers brush through her hair as he began to speak. "I know you are trying to be strong, Sweetness. But I also know you're scared. You don't have to be strong all the time, baby. So why don't you tell me what you're really feeling?"

Kayla sighed softly, but did not speak. It had been so long since she had been able to truly lean on somebody else. Over the last 10 months, she had grown accustomed to having to rely on herself. Shane had been there, of course, and had always been supportive, but even with him, Kayla had never been able to let herself really depend on him, to really let him support her when things got tough.

There was only one person to whom she had ever fully surrendered herself. One of the reasons she had fallen in love with Steve was that he could make her feel like the only person in the world who mattered. No matter what the situation, he had somehow always known when she needed his love and support, and had always made sure she was taken care of, even when she was busy taking care of everyone else.

Leaning into Steve's chest, Kayla softly listened to Steve's steady heartbeat and even breathing. His fingers continued to stroke her hair as he said, "Baby? Talk to me, please."

Kayla remained silent, unsure of why she was having such a hard time telling Steve what she was really feeling. No, that was not quite true. She knew why. It was fear. She had surrendered her whole heart - her whole life - to Steve, and, when she had lost him, she had lost so much of herself. It had taken months to even get part of that back again. Now Steve was here and she knew she did not have to hold her fears and emotions inside anymore. She could not let her fear hold her back anymore.

"Did I ever tell you when I decided to become a nurse?" Kayla asked quietly.

Steve was silent for a moment. "You said it was when you broke your leg in girl scout camp and figured out you couldn't be a ballerina anymore."

Kayla smiled, surprised that he remembered. "Yes. That was when all my career plans changed. But looking back, I think maybe I was always meant to be a nurse. My brothers used to tease me because I was always trying to save some lost pet or wounded bird."

"Or free the lobsters," Steve added.

Kayla giggled. "Or free the lobsters in my Pop's fish market." She grew more serious. "One of the proudest days of my life was when I graduated with my nursing degree. And, then, when I was given the opportunity to start the Riverfront Emergency Clinic, I felt like I had found the work I was always supposed to do."

"You did a great job with the emergency center, Sweetness," Steve said. "You should be proud of it."

"I was . . . I am," she replied. "I felt the same way about the immunology lab. It was something I could put a part of myself into, and it was something to focus on after I lost you. But now. . . ." Her voice trailed off.

"But now you're afraid that you are going to lose all of that." Steve finished her unspoken thought.

"Yes," Kayla said, finally giving voice to her fears. "I'm afraid that the board might not understand, or, even if they understand, they might not care. I'm afraid that I'm never going to be able to help people the way I know I can." She paused, sitting up to face Steve. "I know that sounds selfish. I mean I have you back and we have Stephanie. I should be happy with that. I am happy."

"Baby, you don't have to feel bad for being scared about what might happen with your nursing career," Steve said. "It's not selfish. I know how much your work means to you. It's part of who you are." He smiled and caressed her cheek. "I believe with all of my heart that this is going to work out and you're going to get your job back. And I want you to believe that too. But even if the worst happens, you will always find a way to help people. Because that is a part of you, also."

Steve leaned down and softly kissed Kayla. "I think it's the part of you I fell in love with first. And job or no job, that part of you will never change."

Kayla felt the tears in her eyes as she looked at Steve. His eye shone with love and faith. She pulled his head down and kissed him deeply, pouring all the love she felt for him into that kiss. When they separated, she looked at him. Softly, she said, "Thank you. You'll never know how much it means to me to have you in my corner."

"I'll always be in your corner, Sweetness," Steve replied. "When you are in that hearing tomorrow, you just remember that no matter what happens, I'll be there. You have so many friends and family that will be there too."

"I know," Kayla said. Her eyes shining, she looked up at Steve. "I don't want to talk about the hearing anymore." She pulled him down for another deep, lingering kiss.

When the kiss ended, Steve asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

As Steve's fingers gently traced her lips, Kayla closed her eyes. Opening them again, she stood up and held out her hand. "How about we don't talk at all?"

Steve's eye darkened as he took her hand and stood up beside her. Without a word, he bent down, scooped her into his arms, and headed for their bedroom. Kayla closed her eyes and buried her face in Steve's chest. Tonight would be about showing Steve how much she loved him. Tomorrow would take care of itself.


	117. Chapter 116

"How are you doing, Andrew?" Kim asked, looking into the back seat of the car as she pulled up to Salem Elementary. Andrew looked up and, from the expression on his face, she could tell her son was a little worried, but was trying to hide it.

"I'm good, Mommy," he said.

_Great_, she thought. _Andrew's going to be just like Shane and my brothers, and think it's bad to admit being afraid. _"It's okay to be scared." As she spoke, Shane pulled open the door and winked at their son.

"But he's not scared. Right, Sport?" Shane caught Kim's withering glare and did the only thing he could - step away from the car.

"Right, Daddy," Andrew said as he hopped out.

Kim rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the self-satisfied grin on Shane's face, as he held open the door for her. "Thank you," she said, curtly, as she got out. She was still angry about the way Shane had treated her father after the car accident two days earlier, but she kept her voice low so Andrew did not hear her. "I'm surprised you managed to pull away from your busy schedule to show up. Or was there no opportunity to get your face bashed in available?"

"Oh, it's one of those mornings," Shane said, keeping his tone pleasant. "First, you're welcome. Second, you made it pretty clear that this was important, so here I am. And, third, the bruises are hardly noticeable at all." He walked over to where Andrew was standing. "Excited for your first day?"

Andrew nodded, but Kim could still see the nervous look on his face. Shane crouched down and whispered something that Kim could not hear. Andrew's worried look disappeared and he broke into a wide smile, as Shane ruffled Andrew's hair. Then they turned toward the school and Shane took Andrew's hand. Kim shook her head. She could be angry at Shane and then he would do something like that. Sometimes, it was impossible to stay annoyed with the man.

"Coming, Mom?" Shane had stopped and looked back at her. Kim hurried to catch up.

They walked toward the school entrance, but Kim stopped when she heard her older brother's voice. "Hey, Sis, wait up." She turned to see Roman and Marlena with the twins. He rushed up and pulled Kim into a hug. When he let her go, he bent down next to Andrew. "All ready for your first day, kiddo? You know, if you need any help finding your way around the place, Sami and Eric are pros."

Roman stood up as Marlena and the twins caught up with them. Kim glanced down and saw that Andrew was excited to see his cousins. Any worry was now gone. The kids walked over to a grassy area several feet away, and she smiled to see the three kids together.

Beside her, she heard Shane say, "Marlena, it's wonderful to see you." It dawned on Kim that Shane probably had not seen Marlena since her return. Kim suspected Roman had told Shane about Marlena's return when they left her folks' house after Shane's confrontation with Shawn. Kim watched as Shane and Marlena embraced like the old friends they were. Shane was about to say something more - probably to pepper Marlena with a slew of questions - but Roman interrupted him.

"Hey, partner, can I have a word with you?"

"Sure, Roman," Shane said. He turned back to Marlena and said, apologetically, "Sounds like duty calls." He and Roman stepped a few feet away and began whispering.

Meanwhile, Kim walked over to Marlena. "It must be strange," Kim said. "Coming back after all this time and, suddenly, the twins are in first grade."

Marlena nodded. "You have no idea. I just wish I could remember everything that happened in between."

"We'll keep working on it, Marlena," Kim said. They had begun hypnosis therapy, but, so far, it had been of little success. Still, Kim was confident. "You'll get that time back." She glanced at her watch. "Oh, Andrew, honey, we're going to be late if we don't get moving," she said. Then she turned toward Shane to get his attention.

Shane and Roman both looked at her. Then, all of a sudden, Roman's eyes widened. She turned back around, following his gaze as she heard him shout.

"Everyone, get down!"

Kim did not get a chance to see what he was looking at, because someone hit her from behind and knocked her to the ground. She heard an "oof" that sounded like it came from Marlena, and then the loud echo of a gun firing.

Close to her ear, Kim heard Roman speak. That was when she realized her brother was virtually on top of her. "Get the kids inside," he said.

The kids! Kim looked up from the ground to where Andrew and the twins were. They were all on the ground, next to Shane, who was already standing up and pulling out a pistol. Andrew and Sami were both crying.

Shane pointed down the street. "Down there?" he asked Roman, but barely waited for the answer before he took off.

"Yeah," Roman said. He scrambled to his feet, took out his gun, and began running after Shane.

"Come on, Eric, Sami, Andrew." Marlena was already up and herding the children toward the school. Kim got to her feet, grabbed a still-crying Andrew, and began running with him. She heard another shot, but did not look back.

Around them, Kim became aware of other children and parents - and the overwhelming sound of screams and running feet. Everyone was in a mad dash to reach the school entrance. Kim saw Marlena a few yards ahead of her and followed. Andrew was still wailing, but Kim could not console him yet. Not until they reached safety.

Someone bumped her, and Kim nearly lost her footing. Fortunately, she managed to stay up and hang onto Andrew.

Marlena started to turn back. "Kim?"

"It's okay," Kim shouted over the din. "Keep going."

Obviously relieved that Kim had not fallen, Marlena continued shepherding the twins forward. They raced for the double doors, which somebody was holding open. People by the doors were urging everyone inside. Up the stairs Kim went and, finally, reached the safety of the school. Kim kept going down the main corridor long enough to get clear of the door and the other parents and children crowding against the walls. Kim collapsed to the ground and hugged Andrew close to her. He was still crying.

"It's okay," she said, trying to soothe him. Next to her, she heard Marlena say the same thing to Sami and Eric.

But it was not okay. She looked toward the doors. This was the second time in just a few days that someone had tried to kill her. She looked at Marlena, and their eyes met, with both asking the same question.

How many more times would it take for them to succeed?


	118. Chapter 117

Kayla paced nervously in the staff lounge. She reached for a cup to pour herself another cup of coffee, but stopped when she felt Steve's hand on hers and he said, "Whoa, baby. Any more coffee and you'll be bouncing off the walls in that meeting."

From behind Steve, Bo tried to be reassuring. "I don't know why you are so nervous, Sis. Didn't I promise I would be right there with you?"

Kayla gave a small smile. "Yes, as a matter of fact you did."

Bo nodded. "Once I explain everything to the Board, you'll get your job back."

Just then, Carly entered the lounge. She stared at Bo. "I guess you decided to go through with this."

Kayla gave Bo a curious look, wondering what Carly was talking about. Before she could say anything, Bo ushered Carly out to the terrace, leaving Steve and Kayla alone.

"Do you know what Carly was talking about?" Kayla asked. "Why would she ask Bo if he had decided to go through with this?"

Steve turned away and reached for a cup of coffee for himself, saying "I don't know, baby. But it looks like Bo has things under control, so I wouldn't worry about it."

Kayla had the distinct impression that Steve knew more than he was saying, but let it go. She started pacing around the room again. She stopped only when Steve took hold of her arm.

"Hold up, baby. You're going to wear a hole in that carpet if you keep pacing around like that." He pulled her into his arms as Bo and Carly returned to the room.

At that moment, Neil appeared in the doorway. "Kayla, the meeting is about to start. We'll be ready for you soon."

"Uh . . . okay," Kayla said, stepping back from Steve. "I'll be in there soon." She felt her heart pound as Neil nodded and left the lounge.

"Looks like it's showtime," Bo said.

Kayla smiled nervously. "Do you think we'll be a hit?"

"Of course you will." Bo grinned. "You have a good audience."

"Thank you," Kayla said. She walked over and gave Bo a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Bo returned the embrace. "I should be thanking you."

"Good luck, Kayla," Carly said, standing next to Bo.

"Thank you." Kayla was surprised when Carly also pulled her into a warm hug.

"Everything is going to work out fine," Bo said. He nodded to Steve. "We'll see you in there." Bo and Carly left the room, leaving Steve and Kayla alone once more.

Steve smiled at Kayla. "Don't worry, Sweetness. By this afternoon, Kayla Brady Johnson, R.N. will be back to work."

"You know, Steve . . . when you say it, I can almost believe it."

"You'd better believe it, baby," Steve said. "And whatever happens in there, I'll be right here waiting when you get done."

"Thank you," Kayla said softly. "But you really don't have to wait. I don't know how long this will take. It could take hours."

"I don't care, Sweetness," Steve replied. "Nothing is more important than being here to support you."

"So, you'll be here when I'm done?" Kayla asked.

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve said.

"I'll be holding on to that." Kayla embraced him.

He held her tightly for a moment, before pulling back and looking into her eyes. "Let me give you something else to hold on to." He leaned down and gave her a soft, lingering kiss.

After a long moment, Kayla pulled away and said, "I better go."

She gave Steve one last kiss, headed out the door, and walked down the hall to the hearing room. Kayla took a deep breath before opening the doors and stepping inside.

Entering the room, she found the board members, including Victor and Julie, already seated around the table. Bo and Carly sat in chairs on one side of the room. Kayla took a seat next to them while Neil called the meeting to order and discussed some preliminary matters.

Once Neil finished his statements, he asked Kayla to stand up. Despite her pounding heart, she stood and calmly began to tell the board what had happened. First, she explained how she had learned that Bo had the virus. Then, she explained how he threatened to run away if anyone else found out he was sick. Finally, Kayla explained why she had switched her blood for Bo's - she had believed his threat, knew Carly was close to finding the cure, and feared if he fled, he would die before he could be cured. As she spoke, Kayla tried to get a read on the board's reaction, but found it impossible to tell what they were thinking.

After Kayla testified, Carly stood before the board. She detailed her understanding of what had happened and concluding by saying, "In summary, I believe that Kayla Johnson acted in accordance with the dictates of her own conscience and she should not be punished for that." Kayla gave Carly a grateful smile as Carly returned to her seat.

Neil thanked Carly for her testimony, and was about to conclude the formal portion of the meeting, when Bo asked to make a statement. Neil agreed that, as the patient in question, Bo had the right to speak.

Bo stood. "All the testimony that has been given is well and good, but it wouldn't be fair for the Board to vote without hearing the real reason that Kayla did what she did."

Walking to the other side of the room, Bo continued. "When I got the disease, I asked Kayla to help me out. I begged her to help me out. First of all, just to keep my condition a secret from the woman I love." Bo glanced at Carly, then said, "Kayla didn't agree at first, until we couldn't find a cure. Then I guess she figured she might as well grant her brother his last dying wish." Smiling at Kayla, Bo said, "I wish she hadn't now, because she's in trouble and it's all my fault." Turning to the Board, Bo asked them to weigh Kayla's history at the hospital against this one mistake - a mistake that was Bo's fault, not Kayla's.

Kayla felt her heart swell with love for her brother, as he tried to take the responsibility for her decision. It swelled even more when he told the board that she deserved their faith and trust. When he was finished, Bo thanked the board and returned to his seat, taking Kayla's hand in his.

"That concludes the formal portion of our hearing," Neil said. "Now we'll take a vote to see if Kayla will be reinstated." He thanked Bo and Carly for their testimony and told Kayla she was excused. "I'll let you know when we get the results."

Kayla nodded. "Thank you." Then she left the room with Bo and Carly. Her future was now in the hands of the hospital board and she could only pray they would not take her career from her.


	119. Chapter 118

Shane raced down the street in the direction Roman had pointed, but saw nothing. Shane had not even seen the shooter earlier; Shane had just reacted to Roman's shout by trying to protect the children. As he ran, Shane remembered the sound of the bullets whizzing over his head, but tried to put aside the thought of what that meant. Instead, he focused on trying to spot a man with a gun.

"You see anything?" Roman shouted from behind.

Shane shook his head. "No. No sign of him." He had run at least 300 yards, which should have been the outside limit for an ordinary shooter. Beyond that, the shooter would probably have needed to be very skilled, which was possible, but unlikely given that none of the shots had hit their target. Shane came to a stop and scanned the surrounding area.

"There." He pointed some to shell casings at the base of a wall. From the opposite side, the shooter would have had a good vantage point toward the school. Shane ran toward the wall and looked over it. On the other side was an immense yard, probably belonging to a neighboring house. About 100 yards away, Shane spotted a man carrying what looked could have been a rifle case. He was running in the opposite direction.

Shane jumped up and pulled himself over the wall. Roman came over even faster, and they both began chasing the man.

"We'll never catch him," Roman yelled.

_I'm not giving up_, Shane thought. _He's not getting away. _His lungs were burning from the effort, but he kept sprinting as he crossed the yard. They were gaining, but the gunman had already reached a gate on the opposite side. He shoved his way through and they lost site of him, even as they continued racing forward. Shane and Roman burst through the gate, ran down a driveway and reached a small street. They saw no sign of their quarry.

"Where'd he go?" Roman asked as they both paused in the street momentarily to catch their breath.

Shane shook his head as he looked both ways, but saw nothing. "He couldn't have just disappeared." He started back toward the driveway, thinking the man might have ducked behind a wall or found somewhere else to hide. Shane had just stepped back onto the driveway when he heard the loud revving of a car engine.

"Look out!" Shane yelled. A brown sedan barreled out from behind a house just to the north of them, cut across a lawn, and headed directly at Roman. He dove to the ground, barely eluding the front end of the car as it roared toward the street.

"Shoot!" Roman yelled, but Shane needed no encouragement. _You're not getting away that easily_. Shane ran back into the street, aimed for the car's rear tire and fired.

The tire exploded. The rubber tore away from the wheel, and the car veered to its side as the driver lost control. It skidded away from Shane and Roman, then hit a curb and flipped - once, then twice - and landed upside down. The car came to a rest about a half-block away.

Shane started toward the car, but Roman grabbed him. Shane tried to shake free, yelling, "What are you-" His words cut off as he heard a loud noise and, then, both he and Roman were propelled away from the car by a tremendous force and a rush of heat. Shane slammed into the ground, landing face down.

It took him a minute to regain his bearings. Slowly, Shane pulled himself to his hands and knees and tried to shake the cobwebs out of his head. "What . . . what happened?"

"The gas tank blew." Roman looked equally shaken, as he sat up and looked in the direction of the car.

Shane jerked his head toward the car, but saw only the burning wreckage. _No_, he thought. _We need the shooter_._ We need answers._

"No way anyone survived that," Roman said.

In the distance, they could hear the sound of approaching sirens, but Roman was right. There was no chance the gunman was still alive. Shane watched the fire silently.

"Lawrence could have killed all of us." Roman spoke in an even tone. "That's twice he's tried to get Kimmie."

_That's where you're wrong_, Shane thought, recalling the bullets that had nearly struck him as he pushed the children to the ground. "No," he said. "He's not after Kim."

"What do you mean?" Roman asked, obviously confused.

Shane felt his stomach lurch as the realization sank in. "That man wasn't shooting at Kim," he said. Shane looked at Roman and then back at the burning car. "He was trying to kill Andrew."


	120. Chapter 119

_What's taking so long_? Kim asked herself. Nearly an hour had passed since the shooting, and she and Marlena were still waiting for Shane and Roman to return. Kim glanced at Marlena, who wore the same worried expression that Kim probably had. But neither of them said anything because they did not want to frighten the children. Andrew, Sami and Eric were already scared enough.

Most of the parents and children had already left the school. Abe Carver had arrived about 15 minutes after the shooting. He told everyone huddled in the hallway that the situation was "under control" and they could leave safely. However, Marlena wanted to wait for Roman to return and Kim could not bring herself to leave until she knew that Shane was all right. Marlena had tried to talk to Abe, but had been unable to reach him through the throng of people.

Kim looked over at Andrew, who was playing tic-tac-toe with his cousins, but constantly glancing at Kim and the school door with a worried look on his face. Marlena was watching the children as well, but then turned and walked over to Kim. "Do you think we should see if one of the policemen can tell us what's going on?"

"I doubt they'd tell us anything," Kim said. That was her experience. Maybe if Abe was still around, but he had left.

"You don't think they're hurt, do you?" Marlena spoke barely in a whisper so the kids would not hear.

Kim shook her head. "I think they're okay. Abe would have said something." _At least, I think he would have._

Another five minutes passed and then they were approached by a man that Kim recognized as a detective from the Salem PD. He was tall with dark, curly hair. Kim searched her mind. Brian something-or-other.

"Mrs. Donovan," he said to her.

"It's Brady," Kim responded, instinctively. She had returned to using her maiden name in Los Angeles. "I'm 'Ms. Brady.'"

"Uh, okay." Brian seemed like a nervous sort of man. "Captain Donovan asked me to make arrangements for you and your son to be taken to his house." He looked up at Marlena. "Mrs. Brady, the Commander asked for you to go there too. He said he would meet you there."

"Is he okay, Detective Scofield?" Marlena asked.

"Yes. They're both fine," he said. "Please . . . I have an officer ready to take you to Captain Donovan's."

Kim looked at Marlena. She and Roman had probably walked to the school, since their home was just a few blocks away, but Kim had driven. "I have my own car," she said.

Brian cleared his throat. "Uh . . . I have explicit instructions from Captain Donovan. He said - and I quote - 'Under no circumstances is Kimberly to drive herself and Andrew.'" Kim rolled her eyes. That sounded exactly like Shane. "Please, Ms. Brady, please do as I ask. If you give me your keys, I'll make sure your car gets to Captain Donovan's house."

"Oh, all right," Kim said. It was just like Shane to go into over-protective mode. It was one thing to take precautions, but not even allowing her to drive her car seemed like overkill. "Come on, Andrew," she said. "The nice police officers will be taking us home."

"Do we get to ride in a police car?" Andrew asked, excitement replacing his terror and worry from earlier.

"Yes, honey," Kim answered. _At least someone will enjoy this._ She headed for the front doors of the school with Andrew, while Marlena and the twins followed.

They arrived at Shane's house without incident and went directly to the library. While the kids played on the floor with some of Andrew's toys, Simmons brought tea for her and Marlena. They sipped from their cups, silently, as they waited for Shane and Roman.

After close to another hour, the two men finally appeared in the library doorway. Kim started to ask where they had been, but stopped short as she caught sight of Shane. His suit jacket was torn and his face was dirty, with something that looked like soot. Kim glanced at Roman, whose face also was smudged with something black.

Marlena rushed to Roman and gave him a huge hug. "I was so worried," she said. "What happened?"

"It's okay, Doc," he replied. "Everything's okay."

But from his expression and the dark look on Shane's face, Kim knew things were far from okay. "Shane?" she said.

He did not answer her, but instead walked over to the kids and crouched down beside them. "Andrew, why don't you take Sami and Eric to the garden and play out there? But don't go past the garden gates, okay?" Andrew nodded and the kids headed out the door.

Now Kim was confused. Why would Shane tell Andrew to stay inside the garden gates? The estate opened up onto a large grassy area between the garden and the lake, and Andrew regularly played beyond the gated garden. That's where the stables were. "Shane, what's going on?" she asked.

He held his index finger to his lips and walked over to the door the kids had just gone through. He glanced down the hall, apparently to make sure the kids were out of earshot, then closed the door and turned back to face her. Kim felt a chill. Shane's demeanor was starting to scare her.

"What's going on?" she repeated, her voice rising.

"Kimmie, calm down." Roman took her arm and led her to the sofa. "Why don't you sit down so we can explain?"

Kim decided against arguing, so she sat down. "Okay. . . . Explain. Was it Lawrence?"

"We don't know," Roman said. "Most likely, but we didn't get a chance to question the gunman."

"What happened to him?" Kim asked.

Roman sighed. "His car crashed and the gas tank blew up. He's dead."

"So we won't know why he was shooting at us?" Kim asked.

"The forensics team is going over the car looking for clues," Roman said. "We're waiting to hear if they turned up anything."

Kim looked over at Shane, who was oddly quiet. "There's more to it, though? You wouldn't have had Brian Scofield drag us here if there wasn't."

Shane and Roman exchanged glances, then Shane nodded slowly. "Kim . . . I want Andrew to stay here for awhile. He's safer here than at your parents' house. I'll arrange for tutors so, when . . . when this is over, it won't be like he missed any school."

"Wait. . . ." Kim tried to process what Shane was saying. "You're talking like you're going to keep Andrew here as a prisoner."

"It's for his own protection."

Kim stood up and began pacing around the room. "I'm not letting you take my son, Shane."

"I'm not trying to take your son," Shane shot back. "I'm trying to protect _our _son. That man was shooting at Andrew."

Kim froze. _He can't be serious_. She looked over at Marlena, who had an equally shocked expression on her face. Kim shook her head. "Andrew's just a boy. Even Lawrence isn't that much of a monster."

Roman stepped toward her, but she stepped back. "Kimmie. . . ."

"No, don't 'Kimmie' me," she snapped. "Shane just said someone tried to kill Andrew. That's crazy. He's a five-year-old."

Shane ran his hands through his hair. "Kim . . . . Who was with you the other day when that car nearly hit you?"

"Steve and Andrew," she said. "But that proves nothing. They just happened to be there."

"No, Sis." Roman shook his head.

Shane took a deep breath. "When I pushed the children to the ground, I was nearly hit by the bullets. The children were several feet away from you. The shooter wouldn't have missed by that much."

"I . . . I don't believe you," Kim said.

"We tracked the trajectory of the shots," Shane explained. He looked at Roman, who nodded, confirming what Shane was saying. "The gun was fired from a yard down the street. We saw where the shell casings landed, so we have a pretty good idea where the shot came from. Given where the slugs landed, he was aiming for a target on the patch of grass where the kids were, not where any of us were standing."

Kim found herself struggling to breathe. She started to hyperventilate, and Marlena grabbed her arm and pulled her to the sofa. _No. What he's saying is crazy. Andrew's just a boy._

"Sis, what Shane's saying is true," Roman said, crouching next to her. "Our forensics guys confirmed it."

With Marlena's help, Kim managed to slow her breathing down. It was all sinking in. Lawrence Alamain was trying to kill her son. He was trying to kill Andrew. "How do we stop him?" she asked. They had spent months trying to capture Lawrence, but all they had managed was to put him away for a few months.

Something Shane had said in England flashed in her head. When he found out about Bo and the virus, he had angrily told her that Lawrence would have gone to jail for years if she had testified, but, instead, he would soon be free.

"It's my fault," Kim said, standing up and walking over to the fireplace. "If I'd testified. . . ."

"Don't say that," Shane said, stepping toward her. He looked her in the eyes. "It wouldn't have mattered. Even in prison, Lawrence still has connections."

"What do we do, Shane?" She started to shake and Shane pulled her close to him. Kim pressed her head against his chest. "He can't take our son."

"Nobody's going to hurt Andrew," Shane said. There was a certainty to his tone that was reassuring, as was being in his arms. "I'll take care of Lawrence."

"Whoa, partner," Roman said. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't have any evidence that Lawrence is behind this."

"Oh come on, Roman." Shane's voice rose sharply. "Who else would do something like this? Lawrence is a psychopath. I'm not going to sit by and let him hurt our son."

"I'm not saying you need to. Just let us finish our investigation and see if we come up with any evidence."

"That's not good enough," Shane said. He pulled away slightly, though he grasped Kim's arms as he looked at her. "I'm going to deal with Lawrence, okay. Remember how I took care of Cal. I'll see about getting Lawrence an adjoining cell in Alaska."

Kim smiled slightly, as she remembered how Shane had used Johnny Corelli to trick Cal into trying to escape. She needed to hear that.

"Just trust me," Shane said. He looked over at Roman as if daring him to disagree, but Roman just shrugged. Shane looked back at Kim. "For now, we need to keep Andrew safe, and he's a lot safer here than with your parents."

"And what about me?" Kim asked. "Will I need to make an appointment to see my own son?"

"No, of course not," Shane said. "You're always welcome here - whenever you want to come by."

Kim stepped away from Shane. For a moment, she thought about what he said. Then she shook her head and turned back to him. "That's not good enough. If Andrew's going to stay here, so am I - and so is Jeannie."

She could see a look of discomfort cross Shane's face. He was probably thinking about their awkward encounters at Donovan Manor, probably including the night he had came home drunk. Finally, however, Shane nodded. He knew her too well; there was no dissuading her.

"Fine," he said, even though he did not sound pleased. "If that's what it takes, so be it. Roman will arrange for a police officer to go with you while you pack up your things." He looked over at Roman, who nodded in agreement. "Meanwhile, I'm going to get cleaned up," Shane said. "And then I'm going to pay a little visit to our friend Lawrence. He stepped over a line today, and he's not going to get away with it."


	121. Chapter 120

After Kayla left the staff lounge for her hearing, Steve paced around the room, feeling helpless. He wished that he could be in the hearing room with Kayla, but Neil had made it clear that Steve was not allowed to attend the hearing. That meant waiting, something Steve was never very good at.

After well over an hour, Steve got tired of looking at the same four walls. He walked out to the main nurses station and asked a nurse if Marcus was available. She said Marcus was in surgery. _So much for that idea_.

He was leaning up against the bank of pay phones, flipping idly through the phone book when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Steve?"

Steve turned and broke into a grin. "Yep, it's me, Mrs. Horton."

Alice Horton smiled broadly and walked forward to give Steve a big hug. "I heard you were back home. It's so wonderful to see you."

"Thanks," Steve said. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"You always were a smooth talker." Alice shrugged away his compliment. "What are you doing here? Nobody is ill or hurt, are they?"

"Everybody's fine," Steve assured her. "I'm just waiting for Kayla to finish her hearing with the Board."

"Oh yes. . . ." Alice frowned slightly. "Tom told me about the hearing. I hope everything turns out okay for her."

"I'm sure it will," Steve said. "And I'm sure that your good wishes mean a lot to Kayla."

As he continued to chat with Mrs. Horton, Steve saw a small crowd gathering around the television in the waiting room just off the nurses' station. "I wonder what that's all about," he said, pointing to the area where the people were standing.

Alice looked curious as well. "I don't know. Maybe we should go find out."

Together, Steve and Alice walked to the waiting room. As he got closer, Steve could see that the television was tuned to the local news station. The "Breaking News" banner was running across the top of the screen.

" . . . more information as it becomes available," Steve heard the newsman say. "Again, to repeat our breaking story: Shots have reportedly been fired at the Salem Elementary school. The shots were fired just before the official start of the first day of the school year. At this time, we have no information about any injuries. The Salem Police Department has secured the area and is conducting an investigation. Initial reports indicate that the suspected shooter was killed while trying to escape the scene."

_Salem Elementary_. Why was that so familiar to Steve? The realization hit Steve like a punch to the gut. That was Andrew's school. Steve remembered Andrew talking about it several times when they were in England. He had been so excited to start kindergarten this year.

"How could somebody do something like that?" Alice exclaimed. "Those poor children."

Steve nodded, but did not respond. Somebody had tried to run down Kim just a few days ago, and now shots had been fired at Andrew's school on the first day - the day most likely for a mother to accompany her child to school. Steve knew that this was no coincidence. Whoever was after Kim was still out there.

Realizing an upset Alice Horton was still beside him, Steve put his arm around her shoulders and pasted a small smile on his face. "Don't worry, Mrs. Horton. I'm sure that Roman and the Salem PD have things under control. The fact that there's no news on any injuries is good. You know if anybody had been hurt, they would have brought them here already."

Alice patted Steve's arm. "I'm sure you are right."

Steve looked back towards the nurses' station and saw Kayla looking around, clearly trying to find him. Steve excused himself and hurried over to her.

"Hey, baby," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "How did the hearing go?"

"Fine," Kayla said absently. "What's going on in the waiting room? Why is Mrs. Horton so upset?"

Steve took a deep breath. He knew Kayla would get extremely worried. "I don't want you to get upset, Sweetness. But there was some kind of shooting at Andrew's school this morning."

Steve saw Kayla's eyes grow wide with shock and her hand flew to her mouth. She looked around frantically, "Is he okay? Is he here?" She paused, then looked even more scared. "Oh my god . . . Kimmie . . ."

Steve pulled Kayla into his arms. "Take it easy, Sweetness. As far as I know, everybody's fine. I just saw the report on the TV in the waiting room. They didn't have any information on any injuries, but nobody has been brought to the hospital, at least as far as we know. That means everybody's probably just fine."

"We need to find out for sure, Steve." The fear was evident in Kayla's voice. "We need to go to my parents' house."

"All right, baby," Steve said. "Are you sure you can go now? Is the hearing over?"

"Yes," Kayla replied. Turning away from Steve, she spoke to the nurse behind the desk. "Can you call Dr. Curtis's office and tell him that I had to leave due to a family emergency? Please tell him that I'll either come back to the hospital later or call him to find out the decision from the board."

The nurse nodded and picked up the phone to make the call. Kayla turned back to Steve and said, "Let's go."

Steve nodded and took Kayla's hand as they headed to the elevators. Once inside, he pulled her to him again and reassured her over and over that everybody was okay. He silently prayed that every word he said was true. And he silently vowed to do what was necessary to stop Alamain from continuing to target his family.


	122. Chapter 121

Kim was in the middle of packing Jeannie's clothes when she heard Steve's voice booming through the house. "Kim!"

_I guess he heard the news_, she thought. Kim walked out of the bedroom toward the living room. "I'm here," she said. "Keep your voice down. Jeannie's taking a nap. Everything's all right."

"We heard about the school." Kayla grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "Is Andrew okay?"

Kim took a deep breath. "Andrew's fine."

"It was Alamain, wasn't it?" Steve said. He was pacing back and forth. "That dude won't stop at nothing."

"Please calm down, Steve," Kim said, as Kayla took his arm. "Yes, it probably was Lawrence behind it, but we don't know for sure. Shane's gone to the prison to deal with Lawrence. He was pretty worked up about it."

Kayla looked surprised. "Shane was there?"

Kim nodded. "He came, and Roman and Marlena were there with the twins. But nobody was hurt. We were all just shaken a little bit."

"Tell me what happened," Steve said, his voice a little more than a growl. "They said on the news that some guy shot up the school and then was killed."

"That's kind of it." Kim did not really want to relive the experience, but she knew Steve would not stop until he got answers. At least, Andrew was still at Shane's, being watched by Simmons, so he did not have to hear her tell the whole story again. "We had just arrived and were talking with Roman and Marlena, while the kids were playing nearby. Roman saw the gun and warned everyone. If he hadn't, I don't want to even think what might have happened. We all managed to get down, and Roman and Shane ran after the man, while Marlena and I got the kids to safety."

"And they got the dude?" Steve asked.

"They didn't give me any real details, other than the gas tank on the shooter's car exploded. Shane and Roman had to have been pretty close, because they were covered with black soot - or whatever comes from a car fire." Kim did not really want to think about that. Either of them could have been killed in the explosion.

Steve began to pace again. "What are they doing to stop Alaimain? You shouldn't be here all alone."

Kim had to take a deep breath before answering. This was the part that she still could not really accept. "There's an officer downstairs, but Shane and Roman are convinced I'm not the target."

"What do you mean?" Both Steve and Kayla said that almost in unison.

"They think the shooter was aiming at Andrew."

Kayla and Steve both stopped short. The room fell silent until Steve finally spoke.

"You've got to be kidding me," Steve said. "The little dude?"

Kim turned and walked over to the fireplace. She stared up at all the family pictures, and smiled at one of her, Andrew and Jeannie that Shawn had taken shortly before they went to England. It still had not really sunk in that someone was trying to kill her son.

"Kim, what are you going to do?" Kayla's worry was clear in her tone.

"We're moving into Shane's," Kim said. "Andrew's already there. I'm just home to pack up our stuff."

She heard Steve let out a long breath. "This Alamain's got to be some twisted son of a-"

"Steve," Kayla admonished, cutting him off. She looked at Kim. "Shane's place is probably the safest place you could go."

"Yeah . . . that seems to be what everyone says," Steve said, sounding a bit sarcastic.

Kim nodded. "I know. It's just that I feel like we're going to be prisoners there."

"It's not going to be like that," Kayla said. Kim felt her sister's hand on her shoulder. "That house used to be your home."

_It used to be my home_. Kim thought silently. But that was before so much had changed. Before Kayla had moved in and made it her home. Before Kim had walked in and found her sister kissing her ex-husband. Kim knew the situation at Shane's would be awkward, no matter how important the reason she was there. Their encounters at Donovan Manor in England had been pretty uncomfortable, and Kim expected more of the same if they shared the Salem house.

_But you don't have a choice_, Kim reminded herself. _Your son's life is in danger._

"Look, I'd better finish packing," she said. "I want to be at the house when Shane gets back from the prison."

"He went to see Alamain?" Steve asked. When Kim nodded, he said, "Shane doesn't need to talk to Alamain. That never does any good. You should give me 10 minutes alone with the dude, and I promise, he won't be doing anything to hurt you or your family."

Before Kim could say anything, Kayla spoke. "Stop it, Steve. I know you're upset about what happened, but that's not going to solve anything." Kim watched as Steve turned without a word and stomped into the kitchen. Sighing, Kayla turned to Kim. "Let me help you pack."


	123. Chapter 122

"Thank you, Warden," Shane said, as the prison warden left his office. It had taken pulling a few strings, but Shane did not want to have this talk with Lawrence Alamain through plexiglass.

He waited alone in the office for about 15 minutes. Then the door opened and Lawrence entered, followed by one of the prison guards.

"Ah, Captain Donovan," Lawrence said. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Shane wanted to slap that smug expression off Lawrence's face, but he fought to remain calm. "You crossed a line, Alamain. You want to go after me, that's fine. Or Bo. Fine. But when you try to hurt a child, that's going too far."

Lawrence responded with a bemused look. "I don't have the slightest idea what you mean."

"My son, Alamain. Your hitman tried to kill my son this morning and one of your goons tried it the other day." Shane stepped toward Lawrence, but his expression did not change.

"Andrew?" Lawrence shrugged. "He's such a nice boy. Why would anyone want to hurt him?"

"Don't play games with me," Shane said angrily. He was struggling to control his fury. He was not going to let Lawrence stand in front of him and play dumb. "I know you're behind this."

Lawrence turned away. "You're wrong, Captain, but let's say - hypothetically, of course - that I was. What evidence could you possibly have against me? I've been locked up, thanks to you. Perhaps you're just imagining this threat against your son, because you now know I couldn't possibly have done what you suspected me of doing."

"What do you mean?" Shane's eyes narrowed.

"Why Steve Johnson, of course." Lawrence turned back and smirked. "Weren't you and Mrs. Johnson heading the mob that wanted to lynch me for his death? Now we know who was right and who was wrong. Obviously, I could not have killed Mr. Johnson if he is currently alive and well in Salem."

Shane shook his head angrily and clenched his fists. "You arrogant-"

"Uh huh," Lawrence said. "I'd watch my temper or our friend here-" He motioned toward the guard. "He might have to remove me for my own protection."

_That's where you're wrong, Alamain. _Shane tried to regain his composure and chuckled. "Oh, I wouldn't plan on that, Alamain. Just like I wouldn't plan on getting away with what you did to Steve. You may be right that he's alive, but you and I both know you're responsible for what happened to him."

"Again, Captain, these fantasies of yours have no basis." Lawrence shook his head and continued to smirk. "I wonder if I should report them to the ISA. They would have to be concerned if one of their leading agents is suffering delusions. First about me wanting to kill a child - your son no less - and then about me having something to do with Mr. Johnson's disappearance. Or perhaps these fantasies are just your way of dealing with how empty your life must be now that Mrs. Johnson has her husband back."

Lawrence took a few steps across the room. "You know, that must be it," he said. "You must spend all night in that empty bed of yours dreaming up new fantasies about me. Or is that how it's been all these months? Did you ever manage to get Kayla into your bed - like I did Kimberly. You know-"

He did not finish the sentence, because Shane grabbed him by the collar and shoved him hard against the wall. "You listen to me, Alamain," Shane said, his jaw clenched. A white hot fury was rising in him. "You say another word about Kimberly or anyone else in my family, and you'll need more protection than all the guards in this prison could give you. Do you understand me?"

Lawrence smiled. "Now, Captain, I do seem to have hit a nerve."

Shane pulled Lawrence's collar forward and then shoved it back, so his head struck the wall. He felt a bit of pleasure as he saw Lawrence wince. "Do you understand me?"

Lawrence quickly recovered, and that smirk returned. "Oh, I wouldn't make threats, Captain. Just imagine if my attorney mentions them at my parole hearing."

Shane took a deep breath, let go of Lawrence's collar, and turned away. Shane nodded a couple of times, before he calmly said, "Oh, that's right, your parole hearing."

He spun back around, and slammed his fist into Lawrence's gut. Lawrence began to double over, but Shane caught him and shoved him back against the wall, not caring that the force caused some books to fall off a nearby shelf. Shane brought his arm back and threw another punch, this time connecting squarely with the Lawrence's cheek and mouth.

Shane let Lawrence fall to the ground, where he landed, momentarily dazed. Behind him, Shane heard the guard step forward and start to speak.

"Captain Donovan-"

"It's okay," Shane said, sharply. "I'm done."

Lawrence looked up from the ground. His lip was bleeding and a large welt was forming on the side of his face. He wiped the blood from his mouth, but said nothing.

The fury still raging through him, Shane glared at Lawrence. "You'd better get the message, Alamain," Shane growled, before heading to the door. "This was just a warning. If you come after my son again, you're a dead man; you won't even make it to your parole hearing."


	124. Chapter 123

After putting Stephanie down for her nap, Kayla walked into the living room just as Steve hung up the phone. He had been on the phone almost continuously since they had returned home. From his side of the conversations, it was obvious that he was touching base with Roman and other Salem PD contacts to try and get as much information about the shooting as possible.

Kayla knew that Steve would do anything he could to help protect Andrew and she loved him for that. However, a little part of her could not help but wish he would stay out of it and away from the possible danger. She knew it was selfish. After all, Andrew was her nephew and she loved him dearly. But that didn't keep those fears away.

"Is Stephanie all tucked in?" Steve asked as he looked up and saw Kayla.

"Yeah," Kayla replied. "She went right to sleep for a change. I guess all the activity at Ma and Pop's tired her out."

"Probably so," Steve said, focusing on the notes he had taken from his phone conversations.

"Did you get any more information?" Kayla asked, pushing aside her fears about Steve's involvement in the investigation.

"Not really," Steve replied, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "Roman is sure that the shooter was after Andrew, not Kim, but the car was destroyed in an explosion, so there isn't much physical evidence to go on."

Kayla sat on the couch trying to come to terms with the idea that somebody wanted her nephew dead. Andrew was just a little boy. He was sweet, kind and innocent. _Who could do such a thing_? She knew that the main suspect was Lawrence but she found it hard to believe that even he would be so cruel.

"Does Roman still think that Lawrence is behind all of this?" Kayla asked.

Steve nodded and joined Kayla on the couch. "It's the only thing that makes any sense," Steve replied. "Unfortunately, he covers his tracks so well that there is no evidence to prove it."

"That's nothing new where Lawrence Alamain is concerned," Kayla said bitterly. She remembered how hard she had tried to prove that Lawrence had been responsible for Steve's death, but he had always covered those tracks as well.

"I know, baby," Steve said. He turned and looked and her. "But I promise you this. One of these days that dude is going to slip up and when he does, he's going to go down . . . and he won't be getting back up again."

Kayla felt the fear well up again at Steve's pronouncement, but she forced herself to set it aside. "I know." In a small voice, she added, "I just hope nobody else we love gets hurt before that happens."

Steve put his arm around Kayla and pulled her close. "I hope so too, Sweetness," he said quietly. "You know that your brothers and I and . . . Donovan are going to do everything we can to keep the family safe and prove that Alamain is responsible."

Kayla nodded, but did not respond. _What's safe anymore_? she wondered. Would there ever really be a day where she didn't have to fear what might happen to Steve, Stephanie or another member of her family? She tightened her hold on Steve as she tried to control the fear and anger.

"Baby?" Steve said, concern in his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Kayla said, her voice muffled against Steve's chest. What good would it do to tell him how scared she was for him, for Andrew, for Kim, and for everyone else? He would hold her and tell her that everything would be fine, but no matter how much he meant them, they were just words. She had heard them before, when he promised that his investigation into the Riverfront Raider wasn't dangerous and that nothing would stop them from taking their trip around the world. He had been wrong.

"Kayla, you're trembling, baby." He pulled her closer. "That's not nothing."

Kayla took a deep breath and sat up. "It's really nothing, Steve," she said, offering a small smile. "I guess all the events of the day just kind of caught up to me."

Steve eyed her closely, clearly not convinced. Then his eye widened and he said, "Oh man, with everything that happened today you never told me what happened with the hearing."

Thankful for the change in subject, Kayla quickly gave Steve a rundown of the hearing and how Bo had gone to bat for her with the Board. Looking at the clock, she said, "I guess I better call Neil and find out what the Board decided."

Kayla stood and walked to the phone. The events of the day had caused her to almost forget that her future career was in the hands of the hospital board. But now that the moment had arrived, she was scared to death to find out the decision. Steve walked up and stood beside her as she dialed the number. When the hospital operator answered, she asked for Neil but was informed that he was in the delivery room. Hesitating, Kayla then asked for Dr. Horton, hoping that he could give her the necessary information. She waited as the call was transferred to his office.

"Dr. Horton, it's Kayla Johnson," she said when he answered.

"Oh . . . hello Kayla," Dr. Horton replied. "What can I do for you?"

"I was told that Neil is in delivery and I was hoping that you could give me the decision from the board since he is unavailable." Kayla tried to keep her voice level.

"I'm not sure that's appropriate, Kayla," Dr. Horton said. "It really is Neil's place as Chief of Staff."

"I understand," Kayla said. "But it's been kind of a difficult day, and I would really like to know what the decision was, so I know what I'm dealing with."

"Yes . . . I heard about what happened at the school." Kayla heard Dr. Horton sigh. "All right. It's not quite standard protocol, but I know that Neil would understand."

Kayla braced herself and felt Steve's arm snake around her shoulders. She leaned into him. "Thank you, Dr. Horton. So what did the board decide?"

"The board didn't decide," Dr. Horton said. "The vote was tied."

Kayla was confused. "How could the vote be tied? There are nine people on the board."

"You know I can't divulge the details of the vote," Dr. Horton said sternly.

"Of course." Kayla took a deep breath. "So what does that mean for my reinstatement?"

"Unfortunately, because the vote was tied, your suspension still stands."

"Oh." Kayla felt like she had been punched in the stomach as all of the air left her body. "I . . . I . . . " She took another deep breath. "So I guess this means it's over then," she said, trying not to think about what that really meant.

"Not quite," Dr. Horton replied. "Because the board could not come to a majority decision, you can appeal to the state hospital board. If they decide that you should be reinstated, then the hospital must abide by that decision."

Tears spring to Kayla's eyes as she suddenly found new hope. "Thank you, Dr. Horton."

"You'll need to come by the hospital tomorrow and fill out the paperwork for the appeal. After that paperwork is filed, you'll be notified regarding when the state hospital board will hear it."

"Of course," Kayla said. "Please tell Neil that I will be by in the morning."

"I will." Dr. Horton hesitated for a moment and then continued. "I want you to know something, Kayla. If something like this had happened to my family, I would have done the same thing you did."

Kayla felt the tears begin again. Dr. Horton had been a mentor, a supporter, a colleague, and a friend for many years. "Thank you, Dr. Horton," she said, trying to maintain her composure. "I don't think you'll ever know how much I needed to hear that."

"You take care, Kayla," Dr. Horton replied. "I'll tell Neil that you will be by in the morning."

"Goodbye." Kayla hung up the phone. She turned to Steve who was clearly confused by the conversation. "The hospital board vote was tied. That means I have to appeal to the state hospital board. I'm supposed to go in tomorrow and fill out some paperwork for the appeal."

Steve let out a deep breath. "Okay then, if we have to go to the state hospital board, then that's what we'll do."

Kayla gave a small smile. "Is that your way of saying you want to go with me?"

"I promised I would be with you every step of the way and I meant it," Steve said. "I know this isn't what you wanted, but it's just a delay in the process. You will get your reinstatement."

"I know," Kayla said, forcing herself to remain positive.

Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Kayla nestled her head against his chest and let Steve's strength and support wash over her. In his arms, she could almost forget everything that had happened today. She knew that reality would intrude before too long, but she would take all of these little moments she could find along the way.


	125. Chapter 124

Kim stared around the bedroom - the guest bedroom - and sighed. It felt so odd being back in this house, but it particularly felt strange to think of herself as a "guest."

_Or a prisoner_. She shivered as she thought about what Shane had said earlier in the day. Lawrence was trying to hurt Andrew. That man would stop at nothing.

She tried to set aside that thought as she looked around the room once more. The last time she had slept in this room was when Shane had amnesia and she had insisted he take their bedroom, because being in his own bed and bedroom might help him remember his past. It was funny, she thought, as she remembered that time. Kim had been so steadfast and resolute that Shane would remember and they would be together again. And when he did remember, there had been so much joy. They had made love in _their_ bedroom and pledged they would be together forever.

"I guess in Salem, 'forever' is about five months," Kim muttered, as she pulled the last items out of her suitcase and set them on the dresser. She took the empty case and stepped into the hallway.

"Oh, Madame Brady, please let me take that for you." She looked up to see Simmons heading toward her. "I've already placed Master Andrew's case in the attic."

"And where is Andrew?" Kim asked. As much as she did not want to act panicked, she knew Shane would not have claimed Andrew was in danger without reason.

"He's fine, Madame," Simmons said. "He's in his room playing video football - I mean what you call soccer." He harrumphed at that, and Kim knew he was wondering why Andrew did not just get a soccer ball and go play outside.

"Thank you, Simmons." She smiled at the butler. He was such a fixture here, just as he had been at Donovan Manor when she had first visited. "I don't know what we would do without you," she said.

"Bring over Worthington, I suppose," Simmons said, and Kim was surprised to catch a slight edge to his voice. "Master Andrew has told me all about him."

Kim laughed, stepped toward the butler, and gave him a light peck on the cheek. "Trust me, Simmons, nobody could ever hold a candle to you. After all, who would tell us all about the trouble that Shane got into when he was a boy?"

Simmons grinned. "It's nice to have you home, Madame."

As he walked away with her case, Kim tried not to feel pain at his words. _Home._ This had been her home, but it was Shane's home now, and she was just a guest. The thought weighed on her as she entered the makeshift nursery that Simmons had set up for Jeannie. Or maybe it was not so makeshift, as the room probably was much the way it had been when Stephanie had stayed here. Still, the nursery was comfortable and right next door to Kim's room, so she tried to set the thought aside.

In the crib, Jeannie stirred and then began to cry. Kim crossed the room to the crib and lifted up the baby. The smell told Kim the reason for the cries. "Guess it's time for a diaper change, isn't it?"

Kim quickly got Jeannie cleaned up and the diaper changed. She then decided to take Jeannie downstairs to the library where Simmons had set up her playpen. A few minutes later, Kim was on the floor of the library waving Jeannie's favorite stuffed bunny as Jeannie crawled around on the floor laughing.

"That's quite a picture."

Kim jerked her head around and saw Shane standing in the doorway of the room. He had a tight-lipped smile, but it dissolved as he watched Jeannie. "Oh . . . Shane. . ." Kim said. "I hope you don't mind that Simmons set up her toys down here."

"No, that's okay." Shane crossed the room toward his desk.

"I mean, I know how uncomfortable you are with Jea-"

Shane cut her off. "I said it's fine."

The room fell silent except for Jeannie's gurgling as she reached the stuffed toy on the floor. Meanwhile, Kim studied Shane. He looked tense and it reminded her of how he would get before missions. He would get wound up so tight that he seemed ready to explode, like a coil that has been drawn out and is ready to snap back. As he leafed through some papers on his desk, Kim noticed that the knuckles on his right hand were slightly red.

"I guess I don't need to ask what happened with Lawrence," she said, shaking her head. "Do you really think roughing him up is going to solve the problem?"

Shane set down his papers. "I just made sure Lawrence got the message, Kim. He knows that he can't come after our son without retribution. He'll think twice before he tries anything-"

"No, he won't," Kim said, angrily. "That's not how Lawrence thinks. He doesn't think of the consequences to him; he just thinks of how he's been slighted. You beating him up just gives him more reason to come after you."

"Good," Shane snapped. "Let him come after me. I can defend myself; Andrew's just a boy."

"To Lawrence, hurting Andrew is going after you. He's a sociopath, Shane." Kim took a deep breath. While she was unpacking, she had spent some time thinking about Lawrence and how his mind works. As she thought it over, what she had initially considered "crazy" when Shane suggested it no longer seemed unbelievable to her. "A sociopath doesn't consider the consequences of his action. He doesn't have remorse or empathy. So killing a child means nothing to Lawrence, as long as it inflicts pain on his targets. Don't you get it? Lawrence doesn't care about fighting fair."

Shane said nothing, but just stared at her, his expression unreadable.

"I know you're trying to protect us," Kim said, with a soft smile. "You'd never let anything happen to us. And I know how hard it is for you to do nothing." That was probably the hardest thing for Shane. Attacking Lawrence made Shane think he was doing something, even if it probably made things worse.

"Well . . . I can't do anything about it now, can I?" Shane said with a sigh.

"No, I guess not." Kim nodded and turned back to Jeannie, who was holding onto the leg of the sofa and trying to pull herself to a standing position.

She could tell that Shane was watching the baby as well. When he spoke, his voice was softer. "Looks like she's almost ready to walk."

Kim nodded. "It's just about the right time. She'll be one on Tuesday."

There was a long silence, but Kim did not turn. She could picture the expression on Shane's face. He was probably remembering when Jeannie was born and how he had brought Andrew to Los Angeles to turn over custody of their son. Kim had refused to see Shane and did not even know that he had come to the hospital until months later. That was also when Kim had her doctor return the cameo to Shane.

From behind her, Shane finally said, "I guess you probably want to have a party for her. You're welcome to have it here. In fact, that probably would be safest."

"I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable," Kim said.

"It's okay." Kim could detect the tension in Shane's voice. "This is your home for now. And it's Jeannie's home as well." She heard some papers shuffling and then Shane passed by her with a handful of files. He did not turn to face her, but added, "I'll let Simmons know, and you can talk to him about getting whatever you need."

She watched him walk through the door, noting how his shoulders were slumped and his head was down. Then she looked at Jeannie and wondered how a child as wonderful as her daughter could cause the man she loved so much pain.


	126. Chapter 125

Shane could hear the baby crying as he walked down the upstairs hallway. It had been a long day. After he had returned from the prison, he had spent most of the afternoon and evening reviewing every file he had on Lawrence Alamain, trying to find something - anything - that would help Shane predict the man's next move.

Passing the doorway, he saw Kim trying to soothe Jeannie. Kim had her back to the door, so she did not see him. He could hear her, singing a soft lullaby, as she rocked Jeannie in her arms.

Shane turned away. He felt like he was intruding on something private, something he had no business watching. With a sigh, he walked away from the room. Kim's voice grew more faint, until he could not hear her at all.

Reaching Andrew's room, Shane opened the door and peeked inside. He was surprised to see that the lamp next to Andrew's bed was still on. Andrew should have been asleep two hours earlier.

"Daddy?" Andrew looked up from the bed.

Shane smiled and slipped into the room. "Hey, Sport, you should be sleeping." Then he saw the look on Andrew's face and understood. Shane crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Can't sleep?"

Andrew shook his head, causing Shane to flood with guilt. He had been so focused on stopping Lawrence that he had barely thought of how the day's events had affected Andrew. _How could I be so blind_? he wondered.

From his perch on the edge of the bed, Shane studied his son. Normally, during their visits, Shane focused on how much Andrew had grown since their last visit. It seemed like Andrew was always bigger every time Shane saw him. But, at that moment, Shane was taken by how small Andrew was. He was just a little boy. _Who could want to hurt a little boy_?

"Come here," Shane said. He slid a bit further onto the bed and put his feet up. Reclining against the headboard, Shane pulled Andrew close, so he was curled in the crook of Shane's arm. "What happened earlier . . . I know it scared you."

Andrew shook his head. "I'm not a baby. Only babies get scared."

"Do they now?" Shane smiled and ruffled Andrew's hair. "Well . . . You don't think I'm a baby, do you?"

Andrew laughed. "No, Daddy."

"I'm going to tell you a secret, Andrew. This morning . . . I was scared."

Andrew's eyes grew wide. "You were?"

Shane nodded. "Absolutely."

"But you chased the bad man," Andrew said.

"I did, but that doesn't mean I wasn't scared. You're the most important thing in the world to me and I was very scared that something might happen to you." Shane gave his son a reassuring squeeze. "But I'm never going to let that happen, Andrew. I'm not going to let anybody hurt you."

"Or Mommy?"

"Or Mommy," Shane said. "I won't let anyone hurt her."

"What about Jeannie?" Andrew asked. "You're not her daddy."

_Out of the mouths of babes_, Shane thought, trying to ignore the pain he felt from that reminder. He took a deep breath before responding. "Andrew . . . I may not be Jeannie's father, but she's your sister and you love her very much. I'm not going to let anyone hurt your sister."

Andrew looked up at him again with those big, round eyes. "You promise?"

"I promise." Shane watched Andrew as he lowered his head and rested it against Shane's chest.

"Eric said the bad men want to take you and Uncle Roman away . . . Like when you went away before. I don't want you to go away again, Daddy."

Shane could hear the fear in his son's voice. He started to respond, but stopped. He did not know how to respond. Andrew had lived through Shane's "death" when Winters and Jericho had tried to kill him on that mountain, and Shane could hardly promise that nothing would happen to him in the future. There were no guarantees in life, particularly in his line of work. Just look at how close he had come to getting killed during his last two missions. And if something did happen to him, he did not want Andrew remembering this talk and thinking his father had lied to him. But how did Shane explain that to a five-year-old who just wanted to be reassured that his father would not die again?

He thought about it for a moment and decided reassurance trumped honesty for the moment. In a soft voice, he said, "Now you listen to me, Andrew. . . . Don't believe everything your cousin says. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Andrew nodded, but did not look up. "Okay," he whispered, hardly sounding reassured.

"Hey," Shane said, a little more strongly. "Look at me." He waited until Andrew looked up again. "I'm not going anywhere. Your Uncle Roman and me . . . we're going to stop the bad men, just like we stopped that man today. You've got nothing to worry about."

That seemed to work because Andrew smiled. Shane tried not to sigh. His son was too young to understand how the world worked, and Shane hoped it would be a very long time before he had to learn.

Or maybe Shane was just deluding himself. After all, Andrew had already been kidnapped for nearly a year and had lost his father for another six months. That was a lot to go through in five years. By now, Andrew probably already knew a lot about "bad men." But maybe it was just better to pretend otherwise and let him stay innocent as long as possible.

Shane leaned over and kissed Andrew's forehead. "Now, I think someone is up way past his bedtime. Think you can go to sleep, Sport?"

Andrew gave one of those "do I have to?" looks and Shane folded. He could almost hear Kim - _You're such a pushover, Shane Donovan_. "All right . . . How about I tell you a story?" When Andrew perked up, Shane added, "A short one. And then it's time to sleep."

Nodding quickly, Andrew asked, "Tell one about knights and magic."

"Knights and magic," Shane repeated. "I think I can handle that.

"And monsters," Andrew said. "Dragons that shoot fire."

"Hey . . . who's telling this story?" Shane said in a teasing voice. "Okay. So knights, magic, and fire-breathing dragons." He tried not to think about the irony that his son wanted to hear a story about monsters, when he had come so close to real-life monsters the past few days. But it was a story, wasn't it? And in stories, good always conquered evil. Shane wrapped an arm around Andrew. "So . . . let's see . . . now how should we begin? How about . . . Just last week-"

"No, Daddy," Andrew said, laughing, knowing that Shane was still teasing. "You're supposed to say 'once upon a time.'"

"Oh, that's right," Shane said. "How silly of me. Okay, let's start over. Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a young knight named . . . . Hmm . . . what should the knight's name be?"

"Andrew!"

"Why, of course. Our knight's name is Sir Andrew." Shane smiled down at his son, glad that he could take away Andrew's fear for at least this night. As Shane began to spin the tale of a brave knight who uses his magic sword to slay a fire-breathing dragon and save his kingdom, he silently pledged that whatever might happen with Lawrence Alamain, the ending would just be like in the stories.

Shane would make sure of it. In this battle, good would conquer evil.


	127. Chapter 126

"Careful, Little Sweetness," Steve called out as his daughter toddled around the living room. Stopping, Stephanie turned and gave Steve a big smile, then turned back and headed full speed for the stuffed bear that was perched on the edge of the couch.

Steve could not help but smile as he watched his daughter. Kayla kept telling him that Stephanie was just like Steve, but when he saw that smile and watched Stephanie run headlong after whatever she wanted, all he saw was Kayla. And he had no doubt where Stephanie's already noticeable stubborn streak came from. That was all Brady.

As he watched his daughter play, Steve wondered if he had ever felt that carefree joy Stephanie always seemed to have. His childhood memories held very little that was not surrounded by fear. Fear of his father, fear for his mother, fear of losing his brother, and the more general, all-encompassing fear that had always been with him while he was growing up in the orphanage. No child should have to grow up in fear. Watching his daughter, Steve could not help but be reminded that his nephew was now a madman's target. The fear and doubt he could not fully silence told him that there was nothing to stop his daughter from becoming a target as well.

Or maybe there was something he could do, he thought silently. Maybe the memories of his time in captivity, which were becoming more clear, could help prevent Lawrence from hurting more people.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Scooping Stephanie up, Steve headed for the door. He found Bo on the other side.

"Beauregard," Sreve said with a grin. "What brings you by on this fine day?"

Bo gave a wry grin at the use of his full name, then entered the apartment with a package under his arm. Looking around, he said, "Where's Kayla?"

"She's over at the hospital filling out some paperwork for her appeal to the state hospital board," Steve replied.

Bo grimaced. "I still can't believe she has to go through all of that. I was sure the hospital board would reinstate her after that hearing yesterday."

"I know," Steve said. "She tried to hide it, but she was pretty devastated by the news. I just hope the state board reinstates her. I'm not sure how she'll handle it if she can't be a nurse anymore."

"Aww, man, this is all my fault," Bo said, looking guilty. "She'd have never done anything if I hadn't practically forced her."

Inside, Steve agreed with Bo, but knew it was not the right time to express that opinion. "You didn't know all of this would happen," Steve said. "All we can do know is support her and hope the state board does the right thing."

"I guess you're right," Bo replied.

Steve decided to change the subject. "So what's in the package?"

Bo looked down at the package then grinned at Steve. "It's something that I thought you should have." He handed the package to Steve.

Steve put Stephanie down in her playpen and then took the package. He looked suspiciously at Bo. "It's not my birthday and way too early for Christmas, so what's this about?"

"Just open it," Bo said. "You'll see."

"Okay." Steve opened the package and caught his breath. He looked at Bo, who responded even before Steve could ask the question.

"Kayla gave me that not too long after you . . . left. I figured now that you're home where you belong, you should have it back."

Steve pulled the leather jacket from the box. It was like seeing an old friend again after a long absence. He looked at Bo and said, "Are you sure? Kayla obviously wanted you to have it for a reason."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Bo rolled his eyes. "It's your jacket and you should have it back." Giving Steve a lopsided grin, he added, "Besides, you look funny without it."

"I look funny." Steve did not withhold the sarcasm. "Have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like you're about to enlist in the Marine Corps."

"Hey, don't mock the hair," Bo said. "I'm still better looking than you."

Steve rolled his eyes, but remained silent. He held out the jacket and then slowly slipped it over his arms. It still fit perfectly, like the second skin it had always been. He stuck his hands in the pockets and felt a familiar object. Pulling it out, he looked at the harmonica in surprise. He had several, and had been thrilled to find that Kayla had kept them, but this one had always been his favorite.

"That was in the jacket when Kayla gave it to me," Bo said in response to the question on Steve's face. "I figured it was just supposed to be there, so I never took it out."

Steve nodded, trying to control his emotions. Finally, he took off the jacket and stuck out his hand. "Thanks, Bo. This means a lot."

Bo shook Steve's hand. "I'm just glad it's back where it belongs - just like you."

Steve nodded again and turned to hang up the jacket while Bo took a seat on the couch. "So how's it going?" Bo asked. "Everything getting back to normal?"

Steve sat at the other end of the couch and sighed. "As normal as life in Salem ever seems to be," he replied. "With everything going on with Andrew and Kim, I'm just worried about who might be next."

Bo sighed. "I know," he said. "I can't believe even a psycho like Larry would target a kid. When Kimber told me what happened last night, I wanted to kill him. Hell, I might have gone to the prison to try if Kimber hadn't talked me down." He paused. "If Larry has decided to target Andrew, then there is no limits on what he might do. It's all making me keep a closer eye on Shawn D., that's for sure."

"I know what you mean." Steve looked over at Stephanie playing happily in her playpen. "Maybe it's a good thing I'm not working. At least, it allows me to keep an eye on my family."

Bo looked at Steve with a raised eyebrow. "It sounds like you don't quite believe that."

Steve sighed. "I don't know, Beauregard. I just feel kind of useless sitting around. With Kayla suspended, we don't have any money coming in. Kayla says that's what the money from the house is for - to give us this time - but I just feel like I should be doing something."

"You thinking about going back to the PD?" Bo asked.

"I've thought about it," Steve replied. "It would solve a couple of problems. I could get back in on the Alamain investigation and get a paycheck. . . ."

"But. . . ." Bo gave Steve a knowing look.

"But Kayla says she's not ready for me to be a cop again," Steve said. "I'm trying to give her some time to adjust to the idea."

"You can't blame her for that. . . . I'm sure she'll come around eventually." Bo paused. "But if you are looking for something temporary, I might have an idea."

"What's that?" Steve asked.

"A friend of mine told me that Simmons Freight is looking for some temporary help at their warehouse," Bo said. "It's nothing fancy and is only supposed to be for a couple of months, but it would be a paycheck while Kayla's out of work."

"Warehouse work, huh?" Steve thought for a moment. "Just like the good old days at Allied."

"Hopefully with a whole lot less criminal activity," Bo said.

"Good point," Steve replied. "I'll give them a call and see what I can find out. Thanks for the tip."

"No problem." Bo stood up. "I better get going. Give Kay a kiss for me, will ya?"

"I can definitely do that," Steve said with a leer.

Bo rolled his eyes. "Oh brother. That's my sister you are talking about."

"I know," Steve said. "That's the point."

Bo laughed and clapped Steve on the shoulder. "I'm glad to know some things haven't changed."

The men shook hands. Steve followed Bo to the door and closed it behind him as Bo left. As he turned back, he saw the leather jacket hanging by the door. It was hard to explain what it meant to have another piece of his life back.

Turning away, he walked to the desk and looked up the number for Simmons Freight. He called the number and waited for several transfers before finally reaching the right person. He explained that he was inquiring about the temporary warehouse openings and was told that they would be holding interviews the following Thursday at 11:00 a.m. The man on the phone told Steve to be there if he was interested in a job. Steve thanked the man and hung up.

Walking over to the playpen, Steve picked up Stephanie and swung her over his head. As always, she let out a big laugh which Steve quickly joined. Maybe the warehouse job was only temporary and maybe it was not part of his long-term career plans. But it would do for now. It would bring a paycheck for his family and would help him keep his promise that his daughter would have a far better childhood than he had ever had. And that was all that really mattered.


	128. Chapter 127

"Mr. Alamain, what happened?" Maurice Marchand's eyes widened in shock as Lawrence took his seat on the opposite side of the plexiglass.

Lawrence grimaced as he started to speak. The bruise along his jaw made it hard to open his mouth, but he told himself that he would not show any pain. He eyed his attorney and calmly, said, "Shane Donovan happened. He paid me a visit yesterday."

"How did he get-"

"Evidently, Donovan's quite friendly with the warden," Lawrence said.

Marchand leaned forward and began talking in a heated manner. "We'll make a complaint. That'll keep Donovan away from you, and-"

"Forget that," Lawrence said, shutting the lawyer up. "We have more important matters to discuss." He glanced around to make sure none of the guards were within hearing distance. "You did not ask why Donovan paid me his visit. It appears our strategy has produced some results."

"Yeah?" Marchand's nose was nearly pressed against the partition.

Lawrence decided to lean closer. Just in case. "Donovan is not a man who shows his anger easily. You see . . . he believes his son's life is in danger." Lawrence's expression did not change. "It was the quite a shock to the good captain to realize that those attacks were not directed at Kimberly Brady, but at her son."

"That can't be," Marchand said. "You can't really believe that, can you?"

Lawrence scoffed. "Why not? Our goal was to keep Donovan off-balance. What could be more unsettling to a man than losing his child?"

Marchand's eyes widened. "You're serious?"

"Of course. I'm always serious." Lawrence failed to understand the lawyer's confusion.

"No," Marchand said, shaking his head. "I made those calls you wanted, but I'm not going to be party to shooting up schools and killing kids . . . . No way. That's just going to far."

Lawrence chuckled. "And what do you think you can possibly do about it, Maurice? You made all the arrangements. You even arranged the money. As they would say in the movies, 'you're in this up to your eyeballs.'"

"You never said anything about killing kids," Marchand said.

"Oh well, I guess I failed to mention the possibility." Lawrence remained impassive. "In any event, your concern is probably unnecessary. From the news reports, no children were harmed in the shooting. And if I read Donovan correctly, he will keep that little brat of his on such a tight leash that our man won't be able to do much to the kid." Lawrence paused. "Have you heard from him?"

"Not since before the car accident."

"That's good." Lawrence thought for a few minutes. "You should have no further contact."

"So just let him loose? Are you serious?" Marchand's breath fogged up the plexiglass. "What if he tries to blow up a church or something?"

"It would serve the good citizens of Salem right," Lawrence said casually. _They rejected me. They deserve what they get._ "But I think we can rest assured that the only targets are Donovan and his family. So your worries are unnecessary. Besides, this is for your protection. If Donovan is convinced that I'm pulling the strings on these attacks, he will start to suspect my conduit is the only visitor whose conversations are not recorded."

"So you're saying I'm under surveillance?" Marchand asked.

"It is quite likely." Lawrence sighed. "I think, for now, we just let things run their course."

Marchand shook his head. "I don't like this, Mr. Alamain. We're talking about kids."

"Maurice, I'm very surprised at you," Lawrence said. "You are an intelligent man. Did you really believe that we could set this plan in motion without some collateral damage?"

Marchand stewed a little. "I understand that, Mr. Alamain, but, like I said, there have to be some lines."

Lawrence laughed. "Lines? There are no lines, except those between us and them.If anyone crossed a line, it was Donovan. He had no business striking me."

"And what? That justifies killing his son?" Marchand appeared truly shocked. He plainly did not understand the magnitude of Donovan's transgression.

"Very well," Lawrence said. "Your objection is noted. You will have nothing further to do with that aspect of the operation."

_Or any other part of the operation_, Lawrence added, silently. It was a shame to lose someone as valuable as Maurice Marchand. However, for Lawrence's plans to succeed, he needed men who would carry out his orders without hesitating. This silly bout of morality that Marchand was having showed weakness - and Lawrence could not accept weakness.

_C'est la vie_, Lawrence thought as he listened to Marchand's final report on the rest of the Alamain holdings. _It really is too bad, but it's not like the world will mourn one less lawyer._


	129. Chapter 128

"I hope you're okay meeting here," Kim asked. She was sitting in the garden at Donovan Manor with Steve. She had asked Steve to come to the house for their session rather than have to hear a lecture from Shane about her safety. Thankfully, Steve had agreed to come over, even if he had not seemed particularly happy at the thought.

"I guess it's okay," Steve said. He glanced around. "I guess Shane's got you locked up pretty tight right now."

"More Andrew than me." Kim thought about the past few days. There were ISA agents parked in front of the house, and she suspected others were keeping watch from the lakeside, maybe from one of the boats moored nearby.

Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, which raised some mixed emotions in Km. While she wanted to smile at such a sign of normalcy - Steve just had never seemed completely "whole" without his jacket - it also reminded her how so many things seemed to be returning to how they should have always been for her loved ones, while her own life seemed so off-the-rails. The thought fled her mind, though, when Steve shuffled his feet. He was her priority right now, and she could tell he was uncomfortable being here.

"We could go to the pier if you want," she said.

"No, we're here. It's okay." He looked around quickly. "Shane's not here, is he?"

Kim stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "No. He took Andrew for a ride." She was glad about that. It was the first time since the school shooting that Andrew had been allowed to leave the house or the back garden, and she could tell that he was not happy at being cooped up in the house. But that was not her focus right now. "Shane had Andrew's new pony sent over from England."

Steve shook his head. "Some guys get all the breaks," he muttered.

"What does that mean?" Kim watched him carefully as he continued to pace. She had an idea there was something Steve wanted to get off his chest.

"Look at this place," he said. "I'm scrambling to get some lousy warehouse job right now and Donovan. . . . You think he's ever had to worry about paying rent or where his next meal's coming from?"

Kim looked down. She understood what Steve was not saying. A lot of Steve's old insecurities about his background had surfaced in England when he had learned of Kayla's relationship with Shane. It looked like they had arisen anew since their return to Salem. Kim knew it was a touchy subject, so she tried to respond carefully. "I don't think it's my place to talk about Shane," she said. "I do know that Kayla loves you, and she couldn't care less about where you live or whether she's eating peanut butter on crackers or filet mignon."

Steve kicked the ground. "That's what she keeps telling me," he said slowly. "She's not really happy with me."

"Because you're talking to me, not her?" Kim recalled Kayla's frustration the week before at their parents' house.

Steve nodded. "She doesn't understand really. I told her that I need to work things out for myself, and she thinks it means I don't trust her. She can't get that I'm trying to protect her."

"Kayla's never been a shrinking violet," Kim said.

"But what if I hurt her? You've seen me. I keep losing it."

That was true, but Steve had been improving. "I don't think you'll hurt her. You're getting more control of things and I bet, if something happens, Kayla could talk you out of it." Kim hesitated, before adding, "Just tell her not to grab your hands or wrists."

"What about my wrists?" Steve looked at Kim with a puzzled expression.

_He doesn't even realize it_, Kim thought. "Something about what happened causes you to focus on being restrained," she said, taking care not to trigger any specific memories for the moment. "In most of the flashbacks, you start clenching your fists and pulling against something. I suspect it's a restraint."

Steve's eyes widened. "I do that?"

"Usually," Kim said, but she also recalled how Steve had crouched against the pylon on the pier at one of their early sessions. That was not a reaction she had been able to tie to anything he had told her yet. "It's not really that big of a deal though, and if you warn Kayla, I'm sure she'll be able to handle things. Look . . . I can't tell you what to do with Kayla. It has to be your decision, Steve." Kim smiled. "Listen, maybe we should just let things go for today."

"No." Steve shook his head. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you about."

Kim watched him, noticing that he was shaking a little. "It's okay, Steve. Why don't you go ahead?" She debated suggesting he sit down, but she knew he would decline. There were times when Steve was a ball of frenetic energy that kept him constantly in motion. This was one of those times.

"All right . . . I know we talked about some of the places they took me to early on - you know, where they tested the virus on me. It's just I've been thinking about the last place."

"The last place Lawrence's people took you?" Kim asked.

Steve nodded. "Yeah, it was in Egypt. At least that's what Shane and Deakins said."

"Who's Deakins?"

"He's one of the soldiers that pulled me out of that hellhole." Steve took a deep breath and Kim could tell he was working on calming himself. It was a technique she had showed him to combat the flashbacks. Take deep breaths and count to 20. "Anyway, he told me it was Egypt. . . . I'd been there for a while. Several weeks, I guess. It was a little different than the other places, because I was moved around a lot. They didn't just keep me in a locked room."

Kim listened carefully. "Where did they keep you?"

"In a storage closet," Steve said, seeming almost embarrassed. "They'd pull me out of it when they needed me for testing."

"Testing? More of the virus?"

With a shake of his head, Steve said, "I don't think so. Least, not the same virus. This stuff was different. They'd take me to this building in the center of the camp and. . . ." He paused and took a few more deep breaths. ". . . restrain me. But not tied down on a bed. They'd tie my hands behind my back and a couple of the guards would hold me up - keep me standing." He paused as he remembered. "First, they'd put this mask over my face, but I don't think anything ever happened. At least, I don't think so. I could hear yelling from the other side of a wall, so I assume they were watching and expecting something to happen."

Kim listened, but did not prod him. Steve seemed okay and she did not want to interrupt his memories.

Steve continued. "Anyway. . . when the mask thing didn't work, some guy in a white coat would come in and he'd give me a cup of this red stuff. The guards held me while they poured that crap down my throat." He paused again, taking some more deep breaths. "Don't know what it was, just that it was bad. At first, it just made me really weak and I had that weird feeling like when your foot falls asleep - you know that 'pins and needles' feeling - but it wasn't just in my feet. It was all over and it kept spreading. Then my vision got all blurry. I remember shaking all over, but it was a little more, stronger than just shaking."

"Like a convulsion?" Kim asked.

"Yeah . . . maybe that's what it was. After a few minutes, I got all sweaty and I tried to tell them to stop it, but I couldn't really talk. I know this sounds weird, but it's like my tongue got really heavy and I couldn't say anything. Oh, and, a couple of times, it got so hard to breathe; my chest got like really tight." As he spoke, Steve's chest started to heave and he gasped for breath.

"It's okay," Kim said, trying to soothe him. It seemed to have some effect, because he took a few quick breaths and then began breathing deeply.

Steve nodded. "I . . . I'm okay . . . That didn't always happen. There were times when I didn't feel that at all. And other times, I'd get so weak that I couldn't stay up and those damn guards . . . they'd just laugh at me when I fell. And I'd just stay there. Couldn't move a muscle."

He fell silent for awhile as Kim watched. Steve showed no signs of slipping into a flashback, so she just waited until he felt comfortable talking again.

"That's all that really happened there," he said. "After awhile - maybe when I didn't die - they'd come and pour something else down my throat and then drag me back to the closet to sleep it off."

After Steve finished, he looked at her and waited. When she said nothing, he asked, "So? No comment from the peanut gallery?"

Kim carefully pondered her answer. "I appreciate your telling me about this, but I do have a question."

"Ask away."

"Why did you want to tell me about this?" Kim asked. "We could've skipped the session or you could've let me ask you about some other things. But you wanted to tell me about that camp and that testing. Why?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe 'cause I think it's probably important. We could've spent the next two months discussing the virus, but it's been cured. That stuff - the red stuff - that's what Alamain's people were working on just a few weeks ago. With this stuff about Andrew, it just seemed we should cut to the chase." He paused again and looked away, out at the garden. "And maybe I wanted to test myself. . . . See if I could talk about it without losing it."

"You did a very good job with that," Kim said. "There were a couple of times, but you recognized them, didn't you?"

"Yeah . . . . I remembered what you said to do." Steve grew pensive. "Guess if I could talk about that, I can probably talk about other things. . . ."

Kim could have pushed him to reveal more, but she decided against it. The session had been very productive. There was just one more thing. "Steve-"

He cut her off. "You want to tell Donovan what I told you, don't you?" He heaved a sigh. "I guess you've gotta do it."

"If you're right and Lawrence is creating something new, it's probably for the best," Kim said. "The ISA probably's in the best position to figure out what he's planning. But I'll only tell him about what it did to you and, I guess, how they gave it to you. That's probably going to be a huge help to them." Silently, Kim thought her telling Shane about these tests also might help Steve. If she could pass along something important from their sessions, it would prove they were making progress, and the ISA might drop its threat to lock Steve up. But that was something she would raise with Shane. Right now, Steve needed some assurances. "I'll just tell him about the symptoms only. Everything else is just between you and me."

Steve paced around for a minute, thinking. Finally, he gave her a curt nod. "I appreciate that. . . . Okay, go ahead and tell him." Steve stomped around a little more, clearly agitated, then said, "I guess Shane and Andrew'll be back soon. If you don't mind. . . ."

Kim understood. It was okay for Shane to know Steve was meeting with her, but it would be quite different for Shane to see them. "Fine," she said, coming up with a convenient reason for Steve to leave. "I'm sure you probably want to get back to Stephanie."

"Yeah . . . that's right," Steve said. "We'll . . . um . . . we'll figure out another time - and place."

As Steve left, Kim pulled out a notepad and wrote down everything Steve had told her about the drug he had been given. Or poison. Or whatever it was. Just the thought that a sociopath like Lawrence Alamain was testing something that could hurt people in the manner Steve described chilled her to her very core. Finishing her notes, she stood up, still shivering a bit, and headed for the house. She would wait inside for Shane and give him her report as soon as he arrived back.

Kim just prayed that Shane and the ISA would figure out what Lawrence was planning and would stop him before he could hurt anyone else that she loved.


	130. Chapter 129

Kayla had just entered the apartment with Stephanie in her arms when the phone began ringing. Quickly placing Stephanie in the playpen, Kayla hurried to the phone.

"Hello," she said, slightly breathless.

"Kayla Johnson?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Yes," Kayla said, wondering who was calling.

"This is Shirley Abrams from the State Board of Medicine. I'm calling about the appeal paperwork we received. There is a meeting of the State Board next Thursday, and the Board has agreed to place your appeal on the agenda."

"Next Thursday?" Kayla was surprised.

"I know this is short notice, but the Board will not meet again for another month," Ms. Abrams said. "We can move it to that next meeting if you would like to wait."

"No," Kayla said quickly. "I definitely do not want to wait. What time should I be there for the meeting?"

"Due to the last-minute nature of it, your hearing has been placed at the end of the agenda, so it will probably take place at 4:30 p.m," Ms. Abrams explained. "However, before the hearing begins, at 10 a.m., our staff members typically meet with the subjects of any appeals, explain the process, and answer any questions you might have."

Kayla thought that over. If she had to be at the Board's offices at 10 a.m., it meant flying to the capitol the night before. But if that is what it took, so be it.

Ms. Abrams continued. "Be prepared to give your statement to the Board. You should be aware that no other witnesses will be allowed to give testimony and the hearing is closed to any supporters you might have. The Board has all of the applicable documentation, including written statements, and will decide the appeal upon that record."

Kayla sighed. She had hoped that perhaps Bo and Carly would be able to testify on her behalf, but she would have to take what she could get. "That's fine," Kayla said. "I'll be there Thursday morning."

"Very well," Ms. Abrams said. "Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson."

"Goodbye," Kayla replied, hanging up the phone.

As she hung up the phone, Kayla felt both hope and dread. All she wanted to do was get this over with and resume her career, but she also knew that if the state board did not reinstate her, she had no further options to pursue. _At least Steve will be there_, she thought silently. Suddenly it hit her. Steve's interview for the warehouse job was scheduled for Thursday.

Kayla knew that Steve would skip the interview and go with her to the capitol if she asked. Actually, knowing Steve, he would go even if she did not ask him. For a moment, Kayla contemplated letting him skip the interview. They could spend a couple of days away, just the two of them, and it would be so good to have him there with her, even if he could not attend the hearing. But she also knew she was being selfish. The warehouse job might be only temporary, but she could tell that it meant a lot to Steve to work again. A little voice in her head also told her that if Steve did not get the warehouse job, he might push to return to the Salem PD.

As Kayla was thinking about what to do, she heard Steve's key in the lock. She looked up as he entered the apartment.

"Hey, Sweetness," he said with a smile.

"Hi." Kayla walked over and gave him a kiss. She took his hand and led him to the couch. "We need to talk about something."

"What's wrong?" Steve asked.

"Nothing's wrong," Kayla said. "I just got a call from the state hospital board. They are willing to hear my appeal at the next meeting - on Thursday."

"That's great." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Steve stopped short. He must have realized what that meant.

Before he could say anything further, Kayla spoke. "I know that's the same day as your interview. I know that you promised to go with me, and I know you want to go with me. But I think you should stay and go to the interview. The woman from the Board said that nobody else was allowed in the hearing anyway."

"Maybe not," Steve said. "But I could still be there with you. It's more important than some little warehouse job."

"I know that finding some work is important to you," Kayla said. "I just think it's silly for you to miss this opportunity, so you can go spend hours waiting for me. You should stay. Besides, you hate waiting around."

Steve looked closely at Kayla for a long moment, then nodded. "All right, Sweetness. I'll stay. But if you change your mind, just tell me and I'll go with you."

Kayla smiled and reached for Steve's hand. As she did, her fingers brushed across Steve's wrist. He flinched slightly, as he often did.

This time, Steve seemed to notice it as well. He pulled his hand away and looked at his hand and wrist. He studied them for a minute. Then, in a soft voice, he asked, "That night when I . . . when I hit you . . . did you touch my wrist?"

Kayla thought back to how she had grabbed Steve's wrist and forearm just before he had struck out at her. She nodded her head. "Yes. You were having a nightmare and trying to get out of the bed. I grabbed you to stop you."

Steve closed his eye and took several deep breaths. Then he opened his eye and looked at Kayla. "If I'm ever having a nightmare or you see me having some kind of flashback, make sure you don't touch my wrists and arms."

"Okay," Kayla said. "Can you tell me why?"

Steve stood up and walked several feet away before responding. "Kim thinks that grabbing my wrists could be some kind of trigger. She says that I usually flex my hands and wrists like I'm struggling against a restraint when I go into a flashback."

"That's what you were doing when you had your nightmare," Kayla said. "I've seen the same thing in some of your other nightmares."

Steve nodded. "The thing is that I don't remember doing that at all." He looked at Kayla. "I know you've been getting out of bed when I have a nightmare, like we agreed. I just need you to promise not to get close to me if it ever looks like I'm out of it or not responding to you. I don't ever want to take the chance of hurting you again."

"All right," Kayla said. "But if I make that promise, will you please try to tell me what's going on with you?"

Steve did not respond. Kayla watched as he turned away slightly and began taking deep breaths. After a few moments, he turned back to her. "I'm not sure what you want to hear, Kayla. I know that they flew me out of the country and took me to several different places. After a couple of moves, they started injecting me with something that made me sick. I'm guessing it was the virus."

Kayla listened as Steve, in a halting manner, told her how he had gotten sick over and over again as the virus was perfected. As he spoke, he would pause occasionally, taking deep breaths before resuming again. This occurred more often when Steve began talking about the new substance he had been subjected to in Egypt. Something told Kayla that there was a lot that Steve was not yet telling her, but this time it did not feel like he was shutting her out. She began to realize that there might be a lot that he simply was not yet able to face.

When Steve finished speaking, Kayla looked at him, the tears falling softly down her cheeks. "Are you okay," she asked softly.

Steve nodded, but did not look at her. "Now you know how your husband was reduced to the role of lab rat," he said.

Kayla heard the bitterness in his voice, but she also heard something else - shame. She rose from the couch and walked over to him. Reaching up, she gently turned his chin until he faced her. "What happened to you was not your fault," she said forcefully. "You know that, right?"

Steve did not respond. Kayla looked in his eye and saw the shame she had heard in his voice reflected there. For the first time since he had returned, Kayla finally understood at least part of why it had been so hard for Steve to talk to her about what had happened to him. She silently chastised herself for not seeing it sooner. Steve was a proud and strong man. Yet he had been unable to prevent Lawrence from taking Steve from his family, from holding him prisoner, and from subjecting him to whatever form of experimentation Lawrence's sick-and-twisted mind devised.

Kayla's heart broke for her husband. She knew there was nothing she could do to take his pain and shame away. All she could try to do is make sure he knew that she loved him and was proud of him.

"Thank you for sharing that with me," Kayla said, wiping the tears from her face. "I know it was hard for you. And no matter what you may believe, I know that what happened was not your fault, and I know how strong you are simply because you survived and came home to me."

Steve still did not speak, but Kayla saw a tear fall from his eye. She reached for his hand and slowly led him back to the couch. They sat down together, but still remained silent. Kayla saw Steve look over to where Stephanie was happily playing, oblivious to the tumultuous emotions her parents were feeling.

Then in a raw and choking voice, he said, "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry . . . " Steve's words stopped as his sobs took over.

"Shh," Kayla said, pulling him to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. It wasn't your fault." Kayla's own voice was choked with tears.

Steve lifted his head and Kayla felt weak from the pain she saw in his face. She gently wiped the tears from his cheek. She watched as the muscles in his cheek worked up and down as if he were trying to speak but could not find the words. She gently placed her fingers on his lips. "It's okay, Steve," she said softly. "It's all going to be okay."

He nodded slightly, but the tears were still falling from his eye. Pulling him back to her, Kayla held him close while he cried, whispering soft words of comfort and love. She knew that today had been an important step, but she also knew that it was only part of the difficult road Steve was traveling. She only hoped he would let her help him the rest of the way.


	131. Chapter 130

Shane sat stone-faced, while Kim gave her report on Steve's session. As Kim described what Steve had experienced, Shane's expression never changed. He just listened and jotted down the occasional note. When she finished, she stared at him.

"Don't you have anything to say?" she asked.

He leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure what to say. We knew Lawrence was working on some type of chemical agent, most likely a chemical weapon." Shane glanced down at his notes. "This seems to confirm it, but I'll have to get our scientists to tell me exactly what we're up against."

Kim paced. Shane was taking this far too calmly. "I don't get it . . . . You're acting like it's an everyday occurrence that one of your friends was treated like a guinea pig and tortured."

"I know you think I don't care about Steve, but I do." Shane sighed. "It's just nothing Lawrence Alamain does surprises me. I knew Steve was one of his test subjects. I knew right after I saw him in Lawrence's compound. So I guess hearing the specifics doesn't shock me that much." He stood up from his chair and walked around the desk toward the library window. She watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took a few deep breaths.

Something Shane once told Kim popped into her head. It was fairly early in their relationship and she could not even recall the context, but Shane had said that in his line of work, he had seen a lot of terrible things. The thought reminded Kim that, because Shane was so often unable to tell her the specifics of his missions, a large part of his life had been mostly hidden to her. Often he had to keep the details secret, leaving her only with a sense of whether a mission had gone right or wrong. She could always tell when a mission had gone wrong. She learned to tell that from Shane's demeanor, and sometimes just from the way he made love to her.

"Shane . . . I know things have been awkward between us," Kim said, hesitantly. She worried that she might be crossing some unstated line, but she kept going. "Before anything else . . . we were friends. We could tell each things we never told anyone else. I . . . I told you about Uncle Eric. You told me about Emma. I'd like to think that even with the mess we've made of everything else, we at least could be friends again."

Shane turned and Kim saw the muscle along his jaw twitching, always a sign that Shane was struggling to control his emotions. "Kim . . ."

"We have too much history between us," she said. "And we have a son. We have to get back to the place where we can be open and trust each another."

After a long pause, Shane nodded and Kim detected a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "I guess that's probably a good idea, especially with us being in close quarters."

Kim was flooded with relief, and then decided to see if they could make some progress. "You mentioned knowing about Steve when you saw him in the compound. Can't you say anything about how you got Steve out of that place?" She paused. "It's not as if I don't know the ISA got Steve out, and I understand why it has to remain secret. In fact, technically, I'm part of the case right now since the ISA hired me to work with Steve."

Crossing back across the room, Shane made his way over to the ever-present tea set and poured himself a cup. He offered one to Kim, but she shook her head. She wanted answers.

"I have to admit. . . ." Shane said, taking a sip of his tea. "Your logic is impeccable. So what do you want to know?"

"How did you get Steve out, for starters? I assume you didn't just knock on the front gate and ask Lawrence's people to hand him over."

"No, that probably wouldn't have worked all that well."

"Don't be glib with me, Shane Donovan." Kim crossed her arms. "I'm serious."

"Okay, okay." Shane walked over to the couch and sat down. "We had an ODA."

"An 'ODA'? What's that?" Kim knew a fair amount of ISA terminology from living with Shane and then working on some actual cases with him, but that term was foreign to her.

Shane sipped his tea. "An 'Operation Detachment Alpha,' more commonly known as an 'A-team.' Green Berets, Kim."

Kim tried to stop her eyes from widening. She knew ISA missions sometimes involved the military. After all, Shane had met Alfred Jericho in Southeast Asia, when Jericho was an officer in army intelligence. But this was the first time Shane had ever mentioned being involved with soldiers on a mission. "So you waited for a team of Green Beret to clear out the compound and then went in and found Steve?" She waited for him to confirm that, but his silence and the creeping flush in his cheeks told her otherwise. Kim felt a little lightheaded. "You didn't wait for them to clear out the compound, did you?"

"Our intelligence said it was lightly defended." Shane shrugged apologetically. "It turned out our intelligence wasn't quite up to snuff."

Kim took a few quick breaths, wondering if maybe she should try the technique she had suggested to Steve to ward off flashbacks. "Have you ever wondered if Chief Tarrington wants you out of the way?"

"I don't think he'd have made me his second-in-command if that were the case." Shane still had a rather nonchalant air to him. "So going back to the compound. We went in, fought off the bad guys, and found Steve in a closet."

"Why do I feel like the 'fought off the bad guys' part is a little more complicated than that?" Kim said.

Shane nodded. "It was. . . . I just doubt you'd like the details. Anyway, you wanted to know about Steve. At first, he didn't recognize me. Maybe it was because I was in a uniform, but I don't think so. He was just out-of-it. And . . . well, you saw how weak he was when you first got to England. It was even worse there. At first, I didn't think he could walk. But he . . . Well, eventually, we got outside the compound and some of the soldiers carried Steve to the helicopter. That's it, really."

Kim knew there was a lot more, particularly by the way Shane looked away as she stared at him. He stood up and walked back over to the tea, ostensibly to refill his cup, but she suspected mainly to avoid her gaze. She decided not to push. It had been a major victory for Shane to open up even this much.

"Thanks for telling me that," she said. But then she remembered something else. "Steve mentioned someone. 'Deke' or something like that."

"Deakins." Shane finished filling his cup and turned back around. "He was one of the soldiers. But don't ask anything more about them. I've already told you more than I should've, and anything specific about the soldiers . . . I can't betray that trust."

Kim did not really understand what he meant, but Shane always had some unusual ideas about honor that she figured were derived from his ISA experiences. She chose to let the subject drop. "How about we discuss something else? Do you think what Steve said will get the ISA to back off?"

"I can't say for sure," Shane said. "But it should. It proves you're making progress." His eyes narrowed. "Did you tell Steve about the ISA? Was that what prompted him to talk?"

Kim shook her head vigorously. "No, he volunteered it. I think he felt he needed to tell me because of . . . because of Andrew."

"That makes a lot of sense." Shane pursed his lips for a moment. "If he thought it would help put Lawrence away and protect the family, Steve wouldn't hold back."

That's true, Kim thought, as looked away. Ever since Steve had become part of their family, he had proven that he would go to extremes to protect them. He had risked his life to save Bo and, even if he would probably deny it, to save Shane. Of course, Shane had returned the favor.

"Um, Kim. . . ." She looked back to see that Shane had walked back over to his desk and was leaning against it. "I probably should get back to work. I need to pass this information on to our science team. Unless there's something else. . . ."

"Actually, there is something else." Kim took a deep breath. "It's about Andrew. . . . We can't keep him locked up here like some prisoner."

Shane rolled his eyes. "He's not a prisoner, Kim. He can play in the gardens, he can have his friends over, and, with an adult, he can go to the stables. We just went for a ride."

"You know that's not what I mean," Kim said. "He should be in school with his friends and with Sami and Eric. Being told he can't go anywhere is going to reinforce his fear and make him think he's not safe."

"He's not safe." Shane looked confused. "I won't put Andrew in danger just because he might otherwise be scared."

"Isn't there something else we could do?" she asked. Shane shook his head, but then a thought dawned on Kim. "Shane, remember when I was working at the radio station and getting those letters?"

He nodded. "The letters that turned out to be from Jericho, right."

"You hired a bodyguard for me." Kim remembered how adamant Shane had been that she never go anywhere without him or the bodyguard. "What if we hired a bodyguard for Andrew?"

Shane narrowed his eyes. "And that won't reinforce his fear? Being followed around by a man with a loaded pistol always at the ready? "

"It will let him do what's normal for kids his age," Kim said. "He probably wouldn't even realize why the bodyguard is there."

"I don't know, Kim." Shane sounded so uncertain, but Kim could tell he was considering the idea, even as he added, "I mean . . . look what happened at Salem Elementary. A bodyguard couldn't have stopped that. If Andrew's out in public-"

"It will be different," Kim insisted. "It won't be like what happened at the school the other day, because the bodyguard will know to look out for signs of danger. You and Roman were surprised; someone who's hired to look for danger won't be." When her logic did not seem to effect Shane, she resorted to pleading. "Shane, we don't know how long this is going to last. We could barely get any evidence on Lawrence the first time and, even then, he's still a threat from prison. We can't have Andrew spending months or even years being kept away from anything public."

Shane took a deep breath. She could tell that he still did not like the idea of a bodyguard, but she could also see his resistance crumbling. "Fine," he muttered unhappily. "I'll check out some references and see if I can find someone we can trust. . . ."

Kim knew how he wanted to finish that sentence - someone we can trust our son's life to. She smiled softly. "Thank you. I know it's hard for you to do this, and I know it's important for you to be in control . . . . But no matter what, I know you love Andrew. . . ." _Just like still you love me, but won't admit it._ "And you'd never let anyone hurt our son." Shane looked a bit sheepish, so Kim decided not to say anything further. "I'll let you get back to work. I need to talk with Simmons about Jeannie's birthday party on Tuesday." She headed for the door, but stopped just before she reached the foyer and turned back. "And Shane. . . ."

He looked up from the desk and their eyes locked. "What? Is there something else?"

"No," Kim said. "I just wanted to thank you. For trusting me."


	132. Chapter 131

"Mercury-based?" one of the scientists asked aloud when Shane mentioned the next symptom on his list, blurry vision.

Shane watched as several of the other people around the conference room table shook their heads. It had been like this since he had arrived at ISA headquarters that morning. After Shane had reported what Kim had told him the day before, Craig Reilly, the ISA's head of scientific research, had suggested an urgent meeting - a brainstorming session with the ISA's top doctors, biochemists and researchers. It sounded like a good idea in theory, so Shane had booked the first flight out of Salem that morning. The problem was that he could only get a few words out at a time before he was interrupted by another theory that led to widespread debate among the scientists.

A couple of the scientists began speaking over one another, but were interrupted by Dr. Reilly. He obviously also was losing patience and had decided to take control

"Stop it," Reilly ordered. "Let Captain Donovan give us all the information before we go off on theories." He turned to Shane. "Sorry, Captain, sometimes it's like herding cats in here."

"That's fine." Shane turned back to his list. "Okay, so far, we have general weakness, a 'pins and needles' sensation-"

"Paresthesia," said a female doctor named Bowers. Her first name was Lindsay or something similar. "That's the term-" She cut off abruptly when she caught Reilly's glare, and mumbled, "Sorry."

As the lone non-scientist in the room, Shane knew he needed to play nice. Even though he was above Reilly in the ISA hierarchy, Shane's scientific knowledge was limited to things like how to get C-4 wired and how to operate computers and the other gadgets the ISA provided field agents. When it came to figuring out what Lawrence Alamain was developing from the various symptoms Steve had experienced, Shane was at the mercy of the ISA research staff. So, for now, he would let Dr. Reilly play "bad cop," while Shane made every effort to be the "good cop."

"So weakness, paresthesia - I hope I'm pronouncing that right," he said, as he smiled at Dr. Bowers, who nodded in response. "Next was blurry vision, followed by sweating and an inability to speak. Johnson described that as his tongue felt heavy. Convulsions." Shane paused so everyone could write that down. "From what I understand, he occasionally had breathing problems and his chest got tight. Sometimes, he fell and couldn't move at all." Shane looked around the table. "I think that's the lot. So . . . any idea what we're dealing with?"

Reilly took over. "I think the first question is whether we're dealing with another virus or a toxin."

"Toxin," said Dr. Bowers. Three of the other four scientists nodded in agreement. The fourth, a researcher named Raj - Shane had no idea if that was a first or a last name - shrugged.

"I don't think we know enough to be sure."

That immediately set of a flurry of comments as the scientists argued with one another.

"It's too fast-acting to be a virus."

"Who knows what Alamain's come up with," Raj said. "Maybe he's found some way of making viruses infect their hosts more quickly."

"An ingested virus? Just the time to get to the bloodsteam-"

"I know, I know," Raj said. "I'm just reluctant to rule things out."

After a brief back-and-forth, Reilly held up his hands. "Enough. Raj, you may be right, but I think we have to agree that the odds are that this is some form of toxin." He turned to Shane. "An ingested poison."

Shane was hardly an expert, but he had to agree. "Some type of chemical toxin?" he asked. When Reilly nodded, Shane said, "That makes sense given what we experienced with the fire in Alamain's compound."

"Yes, I was factoring that into the equation." Reilly looked back around the table. "So now the question is what type of toxin are we dealing with."

Shane listened as a few ideas were tossed out.

"What about a Cyanotoxin?" one of the new members of the research staff suggested.

Bowers shook her head. "To cause those symptoms, there would almost certainly be some liver or kidney damage." She turned to Shane. "Did the subject have any liver or kidney problems?"

"As far as I know, no." Shane thought back to the examination Steve received in Cyprus. "He was thin and had suffered from malnutrition, but the doctors never said anything about his kidney or liver." He glanced at Reilly. "Johnson only has one kidney due to a transplant operation. Would they have checked for damage?"

"Undoubtedly." Reilly sounded certain. "If the patient was malnourished or had been starved, damage to the kidneys would be a definite concern, particularly where the subject only has one functioning kidney. The doctors would have made that one of their first inquiries." He looked back at his team.

"Well, I doubt it's a hemotoxin," Bowers said.

Raj asked, "Why not? That could explain the weakness and parathesia. I know what you're going to say, but I don't want to rule things out yet."

"Come on." Bowers sounded exasperated. "It's a neurotoxic agent. The real question is what kind of ion-channel it attacks - sodium, potassium or calcium." She followed that with a slew of words almost all ending in toxin; batrachotoxin, taicatoxin, agitoxin, and slotoxin were a few that Shane caught.

"Sorry," Shane said. He hoped he did not sound as stupid as they probably would think. "Can you please explain that as if I don't have an advanced degree in biochemistry?"

Bowers flushed a little as she began to explain. "As the name suggests, neurotoxins attack nerve cells. That explains all of the symptoms - vision problems, weakness, muscle paralysis, constricted breathing. It's just that there are different types of neurotoxins depending on how they interact with the cells. They use what are called ion channels to pass through cell membranes. There are different types of ion channels - sodium, potassium, and calcium - that pass ions through the membrane. The different types of ions serve different purposes in how the nervous system works."

Reilly interrupted. "I think that's probably all the detail that Captain Donovan needs to know right now. Dr. Bowers is right that a type of neurotoxin would explain these symptoms."

"It could be sarin," Bowers said. "Most of those symptoms are consistent with a sarin attack, but that doesn't really make sense."

Shane had heard of sarin. The ISA had debated its use after reports came that the Chilean secret police had used it to assassinate political rivals. Now, Shane's curiosity was piqued. "Why not?"

"Sarin's already available, and it's not really that effective except in enclosed spaces because it disperses so rapidly." Bowers thought for a minute. "Also . . . didn't you say that they delivered the agent in liquid form?"

"Yes," Shane said. "A red liquid."

Bowers shook her head. "Sarin's already gaseous. Your guy has something liquid, but is trying to convert it to gas."

Shane leaned forward. "Why do you say that?"

"I have here in my notes that they put a mask on the subject first. That sounds like they were trying to deliver something in gaseous form. When it didn't work, they went to a fallback liquid version." Bowers looked up from her notes. "The ultimate goal is to have a gas."

Feeling rather dumb, Shane asked, "Why does he want a gas? Wouldn't a liquid work? Imagine if someone threatened to poison the water supply of New York City."

"That would be almost impossible to do effectively," Raj said, sounding as if he were talking to a child. "Perhaps if they want to make some people sick for a little while, but they would need huge volumes of a liquid if they wanted to kill."

Shane thought he understood. "Because the poison would be diluted?"

"Right," Raj said. "It also is inefficient because once the source of the poison is identified, it can be cut off."

"But won't a gas disperse in the air too?" Shane asked.

"It will." Bowers answered the question before Raj. "But if we're talking about something more dense than sarin, it could be more lethal in an open space. And in a confined space like a building or a subway tunnel, mortality levels could be close to 100%."

Reilly spoke next. "What I don't understand is why Alamain's people are trying to come up with something new. There are plenty of potent chemical agents, VX for one, that could do what's been described." The other scientists nodded accordingly, as Reilly turned to Shane. "VX is one of the chemical weapons Saddam Hussein used on the Kurds. It's a liquid, but absorbed through the skin and highly lethal."

"That's true," Bowers said. "But to cover a large population, VX and most of those types of liquid agents would have to be dropped from a plane or another airborne source. Most terrorists don't have those kind of resources. A gas could be pumped into a building ventilation system and kill everyone inside before you even knew it was there."

Shane leaned back in his chair and tried to absorb that. The scientists, who had been energetic as they discussed the scientific concepts, fell silent, as if they too were suddenly realizing the real-world implications of what they were discussing. After a long silence, Shane asked, "So what do we do?

"I think we need to try to figure out what the toxin is," Reilly said.

"My guess . . . it's based on venom from a cone snail, blue-ringed octopus or deathstalker scorpion." All eyes turned to Bowers. She looked around the table. "If you were trying to perfect a liquid toxin, wouldn't you try to replicate the most toxic venoms in the world?"

"Yeah, but those aren't the most poisonous creatures," Raj said. "Why not find a box jellyfish or an inland taipan-" He looked at Shane. "That's the world's most venomous snake."

Bowers looked askance. "Because it's a lot easier to find and safely handle the ones I mentioned, and they'd prove more than adequate in terms of lethality." She looked back at Shane. "We have no way of knowing for sure, but the symptoms are consistent with those animals. There is no antivenom for the snail and octopus venoms, and the scorpion's venom is resistant to the known antivenoms." She sighed. "It would help to have a sample of the liquid."

"That's out of the question right now," Shane said. "We have agents trying to infiltrate the facilities but they've been stymied by recent protocol changes. Also, our intelligence reports that whatever is being created has components from different facilities, so the workers at no single facility have the complete agent. They are collected and finalized at an unknown location that appears to be restricted to only a few high-placed scientists in the Alamain organization."

"What about when the agent is sent out for testing?" That question came from Reilly.

Shane said, "We don't know if that would provide us an opportunity. So far, we don't know from where or when it's sent. And with the destruction of the facility in Egypt, we don't even know where Alamain is conducting the testing. Or on whom." Shane could not even imagine how Lawrence was finding his subjects.

The room fell silent once again. Then, Bowers spoke again. "We may have one thing we can count on."

What?" Shane asked.

"Before Alamain releases his agent, he will have an antidote ready."

"How do you know that?"

"If I recall, the antidote for the virus came from one of the subjects tested with the virus." She flipped through her notes again. "And here . . . you said that, after the subject was subjected to the symptoms, he was given another liquid. They were probably testing an antidote. That seems to be part of the protocol."

Shane thought about what she was saying. "So if we find where Alamain's keeping the toxin, we also should find the antidote?"

"That makes sense," Bowers said. The other scientists around the room seemed to agree. "Otherwise, we're just flying blind here."

To Shane, it seemed like they would need a lot of luck to get both the toxin and the antidote. "Is there anything else that we can do? Something more proactive?"

Reilly nodded. "In the meantime, we can try to develop some test antidotes based on our suspicions. Granted, that's going to be a lot of trial-and-error, but it might give us something that we can use if Alamain's people try to test the toxin."

Shane suspected what Reilly was thinking. If Lawrence was going to get the attention of potential buyers, he would have to do something to demonstrate the toxin's effectiveness. Shane also knew that Lawrence liked to make a splash. Wasn't that clear from the special effects that Lawrence used at his villa? On top of that, the recent events in Salem also showed that Lawrence had no morality and no hesitation to hurt even the most innocent people.

As Shane finished the meeting and left ISA headquarters to return to Salem, he could not shake those thoughts. Lawrence Alamain was planning something big and Shane strongly suspected those plans would hit very close to home - to the Bradys and to Salem.


	133. Chapter 132

Kayla stretched lazily in her bed and then looked over at Steve. He was sleeping soundly, probably the soundest since his return, and he had not woken during the night with any nightmares.

Maybe they had turned a corner. She thought about the night before and how she had held Steve as he had let go of the fear and guilt that had built such a large wall between them. He had cried in her arms for what felt like hours and, then, he had looked at her with an expression filled with such pain and vulnerability that she had no idea how to respond. Their eyes had locked and she had remained transfixed.

Neither of them had moved or said a word until Steve had broken the spell. Hesitantly, he had leaned close and had kissed her. It had been tentative, almost timid, not at all like the self-assured way Steve had kissed her since his return.

"It's okay," Kayla had said, her voice soft. "I love you more than anything in this world, Steve Johnson, and you're the strongest, most caring man I've ever known."

Steve had cupped her face then, and his strong hands brushed her cheeks. "I love you too, Sweetness, and I won't ever leave you again."

He had kissed her again, still soft, but not as fearful, and she could feel the passion behind the kiss. Then, they had moved slowly, with slow kisses and slow caresses. Steve had slowly undressed her and they had made love, first on the living room couch and, then, in their bedroom. The whole time, Kayla kept looking into his eyes, seeing the love that had always been there, but now also seeing the pain and guilt that still shone. All those emotions he had hidden from her were laid bare for her to see, and it made her love him even more.

Kayla watched Steve sleep a little more. She was tempted to wake him and show him again how much he was loved, but she decided to let him sleep. That turned out to be a good idea, because they would not have gotten very far before they would have been interrupted by Stephanie's cries.

Before Steve woke, Kayla got out of bed and headed to their daughter's room. She quickly changed Stephanie and carried her into the kitchen for breakfast. As Kayla readied some oatmeal, she debated preparing some breakfast for Steve and surprising him with breakfast in bed.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door._ Hopefully, it's just the super. It's too early for visitors_. But she had no such luck. Kayla opened the door to see her father in the hall.

"Pop," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Kayla." In his typical, agitated way, Shawn entered the apartment. He held what looked like a hat in his hands, but it was rolled up tightly and Shawn kept squeezing and twisting it as he paced about the living room.

Kayla was confused, but she said, "Okay, Pop, go ahead. Just keep your voice down. Steve's still sleeping."

Shawn nodded. "It's about your sister."

"Is she okay?" Kayla asked. After everything that had happened with Kim and Andrew, she immediately became concerned.

"No, she's not okay," Shawn said, almost angrily.

"Hold on." Kayla stepped in front of Shawn so he had to stop pacing. "Is Kim hurt? Or did something happen to Andrew?"

"No, of course not." Shawn looked at her like she was nuts. "I'm talking about getting that husband of hers to come to his senses. Now that they're living together again, it's time to fix things."

Kayla tried not to grimace openly. _Of course, I should have known. It's always about Kim_. "Pop," she said. "You can't force two people together. Kim and Shane are adults."

"Well, he ain't acting like one," Shawn snapped. "He's got obligations to Kimmie."

"Now wait a minute." Kayla tried to sound reasonable. "They're divorced, Pop-"

"Not in the eyes of the church, they're not." Shawn repeated one of his most common refrains when ranting about Shane. "They made vows before God, and they can't be tossed aside."

Kayla sighed. She knew this entire discussion was pointless.

"Look, Kayla, I need your help." Shawn kept twisting his hat into a tighter-and-tighter roll. "Now that Kimmie and Shane are close together, you can give them the push they need."

"It won't work," Kayla said in a resigned tone. She thought about the morning she had found Shane in the sitting room at Donovan Manor, and how she had tried to convince him that he belonged with Kim. What had he said? _That bridge is burned_. Kayla had never even asked why, but he had seemed very certain.

Shawn stomped his feet. "Don't tell me it won't work. You haven't even tried. And you of all people should be the one trying the hardest to make things right."

"What are you talking about?" Kayla said, her voice rising.

"I'm saying that you owe Kimmie for what you did to her . . . for stealing her husband. If you hadn't gone leading Shane on, they'd be together, I'm tellin' you."

Kayla could feel her blood boiling and she fought not to start shouting, though she doubted Steve was still asleep. He could not have possibly slept through Shawn's ranting. That thought sent Kayla over the edge. "Now you wait a minute, Pop. I've had to listen to you go on and on about this for months and I'm sick of it. What happened between Shane and me . . . we didn't do anything wrong."

Shawn's voice rose to a bellow. "Of course you did! Sleeping with someone's husband is a sin!"

"For one, though it's none of your business if I did, I didn't sleep with Shane," Kayla shot back. "For two, he wasn't anyone's husband. And for three, why can't you get it through your head that your precious Kimmie isn't exactly the perfect saint in all of this? She's the one who had another man's child."

"She thought Shane was dead," Shawn said. He was no longer yelling, but his defense of Kimberly only made Kayla even angrier.

"For how long, Pop? How long was Shane gone before she got together with Cal?" Now it was Kayla who was ranting. "You just don't see it. Everyone else is always at fault, but not your 'best and the brightest.' Not Kimmie." Kayla could not hold back on the sarcasm. "She's always perfect."

"That's your sister you're talking about," Shawn said, his voice low.

Kayla shook her head angrily. "I know that. I've spent my whole life with everyone talking about Kim, hearing how great she was, how perfect she was - even when she wasn't. And I'm sick of your excusing her and blaming everyone else. It was Kim who slept with Cal, and it was Kim who lied about the baby. And that all happened before anything happened between me and Shane. So I won't let you make me feel guilty that Kim messed up her life."

Yet, even as she said it, though, Kayla could feel some of the same guilt she had expressed at Donovan Manor about her role in driving Shane and Kim apart. _Dammit_, she thought. _It's not my fault_.

"Let Kim take responsibility for once," Kayla said, lowering her voice to its regular volume.

Shawn shook his head. As much as Kayla thought her brothers and she were stubborn, Shawn Brady was more bull-headed than all of them put together. "It ain't right," he said. "They belong together, raising their children."

"But Jeannie's not 'their' child, Pop. She's not Shane's daughter; she's Cal's."

"It don't matter," Shawn said. "If I could accept what your Ma done-"

"It's not the same thing as you and Bo." Kayla sighed again. "You raised Bo, and he was your son for a long time before you found about. . . ." Kayla hesitated, not wanting to say Victor's name out loud. "It's not the same. Maybe it would've been different if Shane didn't know before Jeannie was born, but it's not the same."

"I won't believe that," Shawn said. "If you won't help me, I'll do it myself. I've got a mind to go over to that house right now and give 'em a piece of my mind."

"Pop, please don't. . . ." Kayla thought bitterly that she was back to her role as peacemaker. "Look, you're going to see everyone tomorrow night at Jeannie's party, so why don't you just wait?" _And if you make a scene, Roman, Bo and Kim can help run interference_.

Shawn looked thoughtful. "Tomorrow night, you say?" It was a rhetorical question, so Kayla did not bother answering. "Okay, I'll wait 'til tomorrow night, but then I'm going to give Shane a piece of my mind. He's got obligations."

_Wonderful_, Kayla thought. But maybe Shawn would calm down in the 30 or so hours before the party. She looked over at her father. "So is there anything else you came to talk about?"

"No," Shawn said. "I should get back to the market. Your Ma's probably wondering where I am."

"Oh. . . ." Kayla barely managed to get that out, before Shawn reached the front door and pulled it open. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

"Yeah . . . tomorrow," Shawn repeated. "We'll get things fixed up then." He stomped into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind him.

Kayla stared at the closed door for a few minutes. Then she headed back into the kitchen where Stephanie's oatmeal had surely gone cold and, with a rueful shake of her head, muttered, "Hi, Kayla. How are you doing? What happened with your hearing at the hospital? How's Steve?" Anyone of those would have worked just fine.

"Are you okay, Sweetness?"

Kayla started when she heard Steve's voice. Turning to face him, she said, "Hey . . . I didn't realize you were up."

Steve walked towards her. "Well, it was a little hard to sleep with World War III going on in the living room." He smiled gently and repeated his original question, "Are you okay?"

Kayla sighed. "I'm fine. It's not like I haven't heard it all before."

"I'm sorry." Steve pulled Kayla to him.

"It's okay," Kayla replied, pulling away from Steve. "And you don't have to pretend that you don't agree with him."

"What?"

"Come on, Steve. I know you feel the same way about what happened between me and Shane as my Pop does. I got involved with my sister's husband, and it's my fault that they are apart."

"Whoa, baby," Steve said. "Don't go putting words in my mouth. I've never pretended to be happy about you and Shane, but I don't blame you for anything."

Kayla turned to Steve, looking him in the eye. "Is that really true? Have you really forgiven me for being involved with Shane?"

Steve took a deep breath before responding. "There was never anything to forgive, Kayla. I was angry and hurt and, yes, I was jealous. But the fact is that you thought I was dead. I know how much you love me; I've always known that. Last night was just another example."

Kayla offered a small smile. "I do love you. So much it scares me sometimes."

Steve pulled Kayla into his arms and held her close. "Sometimes, it scares me too, baby. But at least we can be scared together."

Kayla listend to Steve's steady heartbeat for a few moments, then pulled away. Giving Steve a seductive smile, she said, "Why don't we see if we can get our daughter fed this morning? Then maybe we can find some other things the two of us can do together."

"Oh baby," Steve said with a grin. "You do know how to start the day off right."


	134. Chapter 133

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Kim said, lifting Jeannie out of her crib. The baby smiled, reached out, and tugged on a lock of Kim's hair. Pulling Jeannie close, Kim hugged her daughter. "Now how about we get you dressed and then get some breakfast."

As she cleaned and dressed Jeannie, Kim thought about the day ahead. The entire family would be coming over for a party in the evening, the first time everyone had been together in one place since she had returned from England. It was hard to believe that had only been a couple of weeks ago. The time at Donovan Manor seemed so long ago.

Jeannie laughed and her happy gurgling brought a smile to Kim's face. "You're going to be talking soon, I bet," she said. Once Jeannie was dressed, Kim lifted her up and carried her downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Simmons," Kim said, spotting the butler. He was stirring something in a large mixing bowl.

"Ah, good day, Madame Brady." Simmons' round face broke into a broad smile. "And how is the young madame on her special day?"

"She's just fine," Kim said, glancing down at Jeannie. "Very excited about having all her aunts and uncles and cousins coming tonight." Kim looked back up at Simmons. "How are you coming along with the preparations?"

"The food is under control. I was just about to put the cake in the oven." Simmons grinned again. "Chocolate, of course."

Kim laughed. "Did I just hear you correctly?" she asked. "I think I just heard you say that you were volunteering to give Jeannie her bath after the party."

Laughing in reply, Simmons said, "Don't think I've had to do my fair share of cleaning up children. Why when Master Shane and Master Drew were just lads-"

"I'm sure Kim doesn't need to hear any tales of my wayward youth." Kim turned abruptly and was surprised to see Shane sitting in an alcove on the opposite side of the kitchen, where he was sipping from a coffee cup.

"I'm sorry," Kim said. "I didn't see you there."

"Obviously." Shane's voice was even, but she detected the tension in it. Kim also noticed the dark spots under his eyes. That did not surprise her; she had heard Shane pacing around his room and the upstairs hallway several times during the night.

"Did you sleep at all?" she asked. "I heard you moving around."

"Not much, but I've gone without sleep before." Shane shrugged. "It comes with the job sometimes."

Kim figured that was the cause. She knew Shane had flown to Washington before dawn the day before and had not returned until the evening. She suspected that whatever was going on had something to do with Steve's revelations during his therapy session two days earlier.

"Lawrence?" she asked.

Shane nodded. "But that's all I can say." She could tell that he wanted to say a lot more, that whatever he had learned was troubling him deeply. But Kim also knew that, though they had made some steps towards trusting and opening up to each other, there was still a long way to go.

"Shane?"

"Yes," he said.

Kim picked her words carefully, not wanting to give back the steps they had taken forward. "Whatever you can't tell me about . . . you would tell me if we - I mean the children and me - were in danger, wouldn't you? You wouldn't keep that secret from me?"

Even as she asked, she remembered the time she had been lured by Drew to Stefano DiMera's island. Shane had known a lot of things, but, most importantly, he had known Stefano was alive and had not told her or anyone else in her family. Kim, Roman, Kayla and Steve had all walked right into Stefano's trap, and they almost all had paid for Shane's silence with their lives.

"You would tell me, wouldn't you, Shane?"

Shane sighed and set his coffee cup down. "I would tell you everything I could."

"That's doublespeak, and you know it," Kim said, her voice rising.

"Kim . . . I don't want to argue." His voice was full of resignation, as if he knew an argument could not be avoided. That caused Kim to soften. Before they had married, Shane had warned her about being an ISA wife. He had told her that there would be secrets he would be unable to tell her, and she had told him she could live with that. The reality was just sometimes much harder to accept.

"I don't want to fight either," she said softly. She carried Jeannie over to the high chair next to the main island and set her in the seat. "It's just hard not to worry, knowing Lawrence is out there, plotting against us."

"Nobody's going to hurt you or Andrew . . . or Jeannie." In those words, Kim could hear the determination in Shane's voice. "I won't let anyone do that."

Locking the tray on Jeannie's chair in place, Kim turned back to Shane and smiled. "I know you wouldn't." Then she added, "And thank you for saying Jeannie too."

Shane shifted uncomfortably in the alcove, and then stood up. Kim kicked herself.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know it's hard for you to have us living here." _To have the constant reminder of what I did with Cal_, she thought. What had Shane said to her before she left Salem? She had told him how lonely she had been when she believed he was dead, and he had told her that she would always have a baby to remind her of that loneliness. _But I'm not the only one who has that reminder. _Kim turned back to Jeannie. Simmons had set the baby's food on a plate and passed it over the island. Kim took it gratefully, glad that she did not have to see the pain that she knew was etched on Shane's face, and began to feed Jeannie.

The room fell silent for awhile. The only noise came from Jeannie, who was making baby noises between bites of mashed apple. Kim assumed that Shane had left, so she was surprised to hear his voice from close behind.

"I can't believe she's already one," Shane said quietly.

Kim nodded as she lifted the spoon to Jeannie's mouth. "I know. I was thinking the same thing a little while ago." A lot had happened in that one year. Kim turned her head to see that Shane was standing just behind her, his eyes fixed on Jeannie.

"She's a beautiful girl."

_Yes, she is_, Kim thought. She turned back to Jeannie and realized that the baby was watching Shane intently. Then she burst into a big smile and laughed.

Kim laughed too. "Flattery will get you everywhere - even with a one-year-old." She turned back around and saw that Shane was still looking at Jeannie. He had a pensive expression, and Kim almost detected a slight smile. She knew it was hard for him, but maybe her being in the house with Jeannie might at least help him get past his pain.

At the very least, Shane deserved that. He was not at fault for what had happened between Kim and Cal. Maybe nobody was. Kim longer knew. But, regardless of who was to blame, Shane's pain was real, and Kim wanted more than anything to take that away.

As Kim turned back to continue the feeding, she heard Shane say, "I'd better get to work."

Kim nodded. "Of course."

"Just tell me when you want to set up for the party," he said. "I'll make sure I get my things out of the library so they're not in the way."

Kim turned her head once more. "Shane . . . I hope you know that you're welcome at the party. I didn't even think I had to tell you that. You're still part of this family and it wouldn't be right if you weren't there. This is, after all, your house."

There was a long silence, and Kim could see his discomfort. She figured he was thinking about Kayla. Or maybe about his argument with Shawn the week before. But before Shane could come up with an excuse, Kim said, "Please come. It would mean a lot to . . . to Andrew if we were there together."

Shane saw right through her. "And to you, I suspect?"

Kim felt her cheeks grow hot, before she answered. "And to me."

Shane gave a hint of a smile before he headed for the door. "I'll do my best to be there."


	135. Chapter 134

Steve glanced down the hallway and, seeing it empty, knocked softly on the door to Kim's office. He heard her call softly, "Come in." Taking a deep breath, Steve opened the door and walked inside. Looking around, he saw shelves filled with children's books and stuffed animals.

Unbidden, his thoughts drifted back to the first time he had been in this room. He had busted in on a session between Adrienne and Kim, trying to prevent Kim from helping Adrienne remember the details surrounding Duke's death.

"Steve," Kim called out. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I was just remembering the first time I was in this office. I guess I never really thanked you for helping Adrienne back then."

Kim gave a slight smile. "As I recall, you were not all that happy that I was helping her at all."

Steve shrugged. "No, I wasn't. But I know now that you were doing the right thing. I guess you helped save me from about 10 years of prison."

"I think Adrienne actually did that," Kim said. "I just helped a little. Kayla too."

Steve nodded. Shoving his hands in this pockets, he looked around again, trying to figure out what he should do next. Somehow this all felt so different than it had by the pond at Donovan Manor or at the pier.

Kim seemed to pick up on his discomfort. Pointing to a chair by her desk, she said, "Do you want to sit down?"

"Uh . . . sure, I guess." Steve walked to the chair and sat down.

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me here," Kim said. "I know you didn't really want to come to the hospital."

Steve sighed. He had agreed to meet Kim at her office, because it was really the only place left that was private, could provide some assurances of Kim's safety, and was not Shane's house. Steve knew that they could have met at his and Kayla's apartment, but it did not seem fair to push Kayla out like that. So, reluctantly, he had come to Kim's office.

"It's okay," he said after a moment. "I know the most important thing is that you're safe and, at least, this is private."

"So. . . ." Kim assumed her more professional tone. "Is there anything specific you want to talk about today?"

"Not really," Steve said. "But I thought I should tell you that I told Kayla some of what we've been talking about. I wanted to let her know about the wrist thing you mentioned."

Kim nodded. "I'm sure she was glad that you shared that with her."

"Yeah," he said softly. His mind drifted back to how Kayla had held him while he finally let go of some of the pain that he held inside for so long and how they had made love that night with their emotions so raw and open. In the weeks since his return, he and Kayla had reconnected in various ways and he knew that night was another step towards putting their lives back together again.

"Steve?" Kim's voice shook him from his thoughts once more.

"Sorry," Steve said with a rueful grin. "I guess I'm just a little distracted today."

"So I see." Kim paused. "Is it something you want to talk about?"

Steve shook his head. He appreciated Kim's help in dealing with his nightmares and flashbacks, and he knew that she had also helped during the fallout after he learned about Kayla's and Shane's relationship. But his conversation with Kayla and what had followed were private and personal. Maybe Kim could help him heal his mind, but he knew that it would be Kayla who helped him heal his heart and soul.

"Okay," Kim said. "Maybe we should just call this session off today. You have been making a lot of progress lately."

Steve looked up at Kim. A part of him wanted to suggest that they just call them off permanently. His nightmares had become manageable, even if they had not ceased completely. The breathing techniques suggested by Kim had helped him deal with the flashbacks better. Maybe it was time to just move on. Yet, deep down, he knew that it was not over yet. It still scared him that he did not understand the wrist flexing Kim and Kayla had mentioned. That was something he still needed to figure out to ensure sure that he would not be a danger to Kayla and Stephanie. But it did not have to happen today.

"Maybe you're right," Steve said after a moment. "Sorry to waste your time."

"You didn't waste my time at all," Kim said. "Besides, it gave me a reason to get out of the house for a little while."

Steve eyed Kim curiously. "How are things going now that you're living at Shane's again?"

Kim sighed. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little awkward, but awkward seems to be the new normal for Shane and me." She gave a wry smile. "So I guess it's going fine."

Steve nodded. He started to ask another question, but then stopped, unsure if he should continue or not. Finally, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Can I ask you a question?"

It was Kim's turn to give Steve a curious look. "Sure," she said after a moment. "Fire away."

Steve stood up, paced around the room, and tried to choose the right words. Then he turned to Kim. "Kayla told me about how you pretended to get close to Alamain, but you were really working with the ISA." He paused before he continued. "And she told me that she found out that you were working with the ISA when Lawrence was arrested for trying to give you the virus."

Kim nodded. "Yes. Kayla was not very happy when she found out that we had kept that information from her."

"She also told me that when Lawrence talked his way out of that charge, you defended him and then moved in with him," Steve said, pacing again. "I know that you eventually taped some conversation that they used to put him in jail, but what I don't understand is why you didn't tell anybody what you were doing? Why let everybody think you really had feelings for the guy?"

Steve watched as a shadow of guilt and shame immediately crossed Kim's face. He kicked himself. "Wait. Never mind. You don't have to tell me anything. It's not any of my business. I've just been trying to put all the pieces together when it comes to Alamain, but I shouldn't have asked you that."

"No, it's okay," Kim said. "After all, I've asked you to talk about a lot of things that were difficult. Turnabout is fair play." She hesitated. "It's just that I don't know if I can answer that question, because I'm not sure I understand all of it myself."

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay," Steve repeated.

Kim shook her head. "I was hurt and angry about Shane and Kayla's relationship. I wanted to prove to Shane that I could take care of myself and that I knew what I was doing where Lawrence was concerned. And, as much as I am ashamed to admit it, I got taken in by Lawrence Alamain."

Steve's eye narrowed. "Even after everybody told you what he had done? That they thought he had killed me?"

Kim nodded. "I know it doesn't make sense. Looking back, it doesn't even make sense to me. But Lawrence was attentive; he seemed so sincere and concerned about me and my feelings. He would have his cook prepare these fancy meals with my favorite foods and bring us some fancy bottle of wine from his big wine cellar. He'd act like I was the only person who mattered to him. I guess part of me wanted to believe that wasn't all an act, that maybe he hadn't done the things that he was accused of, or that there was some explanation for it all." She looked up at Steve. "I was wrong."

Steve nodded, taking in what Kim had said. Having met Alamain, he could see how smooth the guy was. He was a pure manipulator and had obviously identified Kim's weak points and used them to his advantage. He remembered how Kayla had said that Kim's relationship with Lawrence had been a factor in Kayla pursuing a relationship with Shane and he wondered if that had been part of Alamain's plan as well.

"So now you know the story," Kim said. "I'll understand if you want to work with a different counselor."

Steve looked at Kim in surprise. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Well . . . I just told you that I was involved with the man who faked your death and tortured you," Kim said. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"It bothers me that Alamain manipulated you and that you let him," Steve said. "And if you were still trying to defend the guy now, I wouldn't be here talking to you. But we all make mistakes, Kim. And I have a hunch you've paid a high price for yours." Steve paused, thinking about his own past. "I know I've made plenty of mistakes of my own. Hell, I'm the poster boy for second and third chances." Steve grinned, trying to lighten the conversation.

Kim tried to smile, but Steve could tell she was still upset. He walked over, stood next to Kim's chair, and looked down at her. "The past is the past and we can't change it now. I appreciate you filling in some of those blanks for me. I know it wasn't easy for you, but every little bit helps when I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this dude."

Standing up, Kim nodded. "Don't ever underestimate what Lawrence is capable of," she said firmly. "The moment you do is the moment he strikes hardest."

Steve saw the fear in Kim's eyes and reached over and gave her a hug. "Don't worry," he said, trying to reassure her. "Someday that dude is going to mess up and, when he does, he's going down hard. He'll pay for everything he's done - to all of us. That's a promise."

Steve released Kim, stepped away, and headed for the door. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome," Kim said softly. "And Steve-"

"Yeah." Steve paused and turned back towards her.

Kim gave him a small smile. "Thanks for understanding."

Steve grinned. "That's me, baby. I'm an understanding kind of guy." He gave Kim a wink. "See you tonight at the party." As he headed out the door, Steve made another addition to his long list of reasons to hate Lawrence Alamain.


	136. Chapter 135

Shane walked into the library carrying the wrapped box and looked around in surprise. There were several grocery bags on the floor, but nothing had been set up. _That's not like Kim_, he thought.

"Simmons," Shane called, and waited until the butler appeared in the doorway. When Simmons arrived, Shane asked, "Have you seen Kim? I figured she would have everything set up for the party tonight."

"Madame Brady had to remain at the hospital for an emergency, Sir," Simmons explained. "She said she would call if she was delayed and needed assistance with the party."

Shane understood. Kim would want to take charge of setting things up personally so they were exactly right. He knew his ex-wife well. "Thank you, Simmons."

Simmons started to walk out, but then stopped. "I do have all the food prepared, Sir."

"So no one will go hungry, I'm sure." Shane smiled. There were some things that even Kim could not control. Not with Simmons around.

Once the butler left, Shane walked over to the bags and saw that they were filled with streamers and balloons. He glanced at the clock and saw it was only a little after 4 p.m. There was still plenty of time for Kim to get everything in order.

Leaving the bags in place, Shane set his present down on the desk. He stared at it for a moment before turning and walking over to the wall panel that hid his safe. He slid the panel open, turned the dial in the right sequence, and opened the metal door. Shane took a minute to survey the contents and then removed a small brown box.

"Shane?"

The voice startled him. Instinctively, he shoved the door of the safe closed and slid the wall panel back into place. Then, he spun around.

Kayla stood in the doorway and Shane felt silly that he had reacted with such surprise. "Kayla . . . what are you doing here?"

"Simmons let me in." she said. "Kim got stuck at the hospital with something, so she asked me to come over and start getting things ready for the party. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. Please go ahead." He walked back over to his desk and sat down, feeling her eyes on him. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Kayla look at the bags and then back at him.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine, Kayla," he said. "I just overreacted; I usually don't have the safe open when anyone's around." At that moment, he realized he was still holding the little box. He had only meant to take it out momentarily to look at its contents before returning it to the safe.

Kayla did not respond, but began rooting through the bags and pulling out brightly colored balloons and streamers. From his seat behind his desk, Shane thought he spotted a printed banner. Of course, Kim would go all out. A child only has her first birthday once.

With a sigh, Shane glanced again at the little box and opened it. Inside, the broach looked the same as it always did. The white carving of the woman stood out against the reddish-brown background.

In his mind's eye, he pictured his mother attaching the broach to the high-collar on her dress. It had been the night of the annual ball at Donovan Manor, and Shane had probably been about five-years-old. He was watching her, while Drew was pestering their father and demanding to know why he and Shane could not attend. Of course, when the time came, Shane and Drew would sneak away from Simmons and watch the partygoers from the top of the stairs, but their parents did not need to know that.

Even at Shane's young age, he knew the broach was particularly special to his mother. He could tell just from the way she handled it and the way she looked at it in the mirror. She had seen him watching her and had told him the story of the broach for the first time - how it had been in the Donovan family for generations; how Shane's father had given it to her the night before he left to fight the war; how she had worn it every day of the years that he was gone; and how, on his return, he had given her the matching bracelet that he had carried with him through battles in France, Italy and the Balkans. Then she had ruffled his hair and said, "When you fall in love, Shane, you'll give her this cameo and your hearts will be connected forever. It won't matter how far apart you are or why. Just like your father and me. Not even war could keep us apart."

Something about what she had said made the cameo broach the most treasured possession he had received from his parents. It was not as valuable as other jewelry she had left behind and some of those pieces, like the emerald ring he had given Kayla, had their own stories. But the cameo remained particularly special to him - even if his mother's words had not held true when it came to him and Kimberly.

"Kimberly always loved that." Kayla's voice startled him, and he jerked his head around. She had walked beside the desk carrying some streamers. "I'm sorry," Kayla said. "You seemed lost in thought."

"I was," Shane said, as he closed the little box. He pulled open the center drawer in his desk and set the box inside. "I was just thinking."

Kayla smiled. "Care to talk about it?"

"Not really," he said, standing up. "Here, let me help you with that." He pointed to the streamers and began helping her hang them. They worked in silence for awhile, but Shane could feel Kayla's eyes on him.

"I know you, Shane. Something's bothering you."

She did know him, he thought. "I don't know. . . . I was thinking earlier about Stephanie's birthday." He knew Kayla probably thought he meant the kiss they shared after the party, so he corrected that impression. "I mean the party itself, and how I knew exactly what to get for her."

"The music box." Kayla smiled again. "It was perfect. She always loved that song."

Stephanie had - just like Shane's mother. He had never told Kayla that the song had been one of his mother's favorites. He even remembered how she had played it over and over when she taught Shane and Drew how to dance before the first ball they were allowed to attend.

Somehow, Kayla seemed to know what he was thinking. "Kim said it was very personal to you."

Shane taped the streamer he was hanging into place, and then looked at the gift-wrapped box on his desk. "I spent almost two hours at the store this afternoon trying to find something for Jeannie. I had no idea what to get, no idea what she likes."

"It's no big deal," Kayla said. "She's just a baby. It's not like she'll know who gives her what."

"We both know that's not the point." Shane heaved a sigh. "Stephanie filled such a void in my life and it was so easy for me to care for her. And then there's Jeannie, who's even named after my mother - and even looks like her a bit - and I know nothing about her."

"You could change that, Shane. All you have to do is spend some time with her."

"But that's the problem, isn't it?" He set down the balloons he had just picked up. "I just can't. Every time I'm around her, I can't stop myself from thinking about Cal - and Kim and Cal." He looked at Kayla. "You don't have to tell me it's foolish. It's not like Jeannie's responsible for who her father is." _No, but Kim is responsible, isn't she_? Shane tried to set that thought aside, as he felt the bitterness rising inside him. _Why does it keep coming back_?Earlier that morning, he had been able to set the thoughts aside briefly when he talked with Kim in the kitchen. But the thoughts just kept coming back. "No matter how hard I try to convince myself," he said. "I just can't help how I feel."

He knew what Kayla was thinking. He was being unfair and unreasonable. It was nothing he had not already told himself.

Shane glanced at the wrapped package on his desk. "When I was at the store, I passed the jewelry counter and they had a necklace with a small cameo. I thought about getting it for Jeannie, so she would have a cameo like her namesake did." He turned back toward Kayla and winced inwardly as he saw her expression. It was full of obvious pity. Shane quickly looked away. "Then I thought she could have a cameo like her mother. . . ."

"Only you remembered that Kim had returned the cameo." Kayla at least understood enough so Shane did not have to explain. When he had remembered how Kim had returned the cameo to him, he had walked away from the jewelry section. Eventually, he had settled on a dress. It was nice, but nothing more that what he might have bought for the daughter of a business acquaintance.

"So that's why you took it from the safe?" Kayla asked.

"I what?" Shane looked at her, confused.

"The cameo," she said. "That's why you took it out of the safe."

Shane nodded. "Yeah . . . I guess it was on my mind." He started to say that he should put it back in the safe, but he was interrupted as Kim came rushing into the room. She stopped when she saw Shane and Kayla together, and he could immediately feel the tension in the room increase.

"Oh . . . . I hope you don't mind us setting up now," Kim said to Shane.

"No, not at all." He glanced at Kayla, hoping she would not tell Kim what he had told her, and then back at Kim. "I guess, I'll be going. You still have a lot to do, and I . . . I have some work I need to finish."


	137. Chapter 136

Kayla bounced Stephanie on her lap as the guest of honor sampled her first piece of chocolate cake. Everyone laughed as Jeannie smeared the chocolate all over her face and bib.

"Just wait until she gets into your makeup drawer, Kimmie," Caroline said. She gave Kayla a knowing look, as Roman, Kim and Bo all laughed.

Her family would never let her live that down, but Kayla was not going without a fight. She pointed at Bo. "If I remember correctly, it was you, baby brother, who said that's where Ma kept the 'clown makeup.'"

Bo feigned innocent. "Moi? I was always a perfect angel."

"Yeah, right." Kayla said that almost in unison with Roman and Kim. They all laughed. It had been so long since she and her siblings had all been together and happy. Since Kim's return, there had always been tension at Brady family events.

Someone put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Steve watching her. "You okay, baby?" he asked.

Kayla reached up and took his hand in hers. "Of course. I've got you and Stephanie, and my entire family's here. Nothing could make me happier."

She looked around the room. Next to Jeannie's high-chair, Kim was trying to wipe the chocolate off her daughter's face, while Shawn and Caroline looked on, laughing at the sight. She glanced across the room at Bo and Carly. Bo was in an oversized chair, with Carly seated on his lap. Bo was brushing his hands through her hair, probably not even realizing what he was doing, as they talked with Roman and Marlena, who seemed to be settling into her former life quite well.

_There's just one person missing_. Kayla tried not to focus on Shane's absence. He had come into the room briefly, but Shawn had immediately approached him with some not-so-subtle comments about fathers and their "obligations" to their families. Shane had started to respond with an angry defense that Kayla had seen often during their relationship, but he had looked around the room and hesitated. Instead of rising to Shawn's bait, Shane had said something to Kim and then had left the library. With a sorrowful look on her face, Kim had watched Shane leave.

As Shane had left, Steve had whispered in her ear, "First you, now Shane. Has he been like this the whole time I was gone?"

_Pretty much since February_, Kayla had thought, as she said quietly, "You know how Pop gets." Steve definitely knew.

With Shane gone, the party had resumed. Kayla wondered if she was the only one who had noticed Roman slip out of the library after Shane, but he had returned about 10 minutes later - alone. In the back of her mind, Kayla had thought about how Shane had left Donovan Manor after that night he had touched her cheek. Once again, it seemed, her family had made Shane unwelcome in his own home.

"Was this what Stephanie's party was like?" Steve asked, his words intruding on her thoughts.

Kayla forced a smile. "Pretty much." It was hard for her to divorce the party from what happened afterward - kissing Marcus, then kissing Shane, and then dealing with Kim's surprise return from Los Angeles. _That was a hell of a night_. She tried to focus on the party, though, and looked up at Steve. "You would've loved it."

"I'm sure my Little Sweetness was the belle of the ball." He emphasized that by leaning over Kayla's shoulder and planting a kiss on Stephanie's head. The baby looked up and laughed. "Papa."

Kayla grinned. "I warned you."

"I told you, Sweetness. I'll never get tired of hearing that." He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "All that time I was away, I couldn't even hope to be with you and Stephanie and our family. Even if it is for a one-year old's birthday party."

Kayla knew what he meant. Even with some of the issues they had returning to Salem, everything since that day she had arrived in England felt like some extraordinary dream. Two months ago, she was lost, confused, and the focus of family conflict. Now it felt like the world had righted itself.

"Uh oh. . . ." Steve said, very quietly.

"What?" Kayla looked around, wondering what could have caused Steve to sound so concerned, but he just laughed.

"Looks like it's time for us to 'ooh' and 'aah' over baby presents."

Kayla looked up to see a mock grimace on his face. She rolled her eyes. "You'd better get used to it. You're going to have to do it for a lot of Stephanie's birthdays."

Steve grinned widely, then leaned over and kissed her. "For Stephanie, I'll love every minute of them. Your niece on the other hand. . . ."

"You're terrible," she muttered, but he did not respond, because everyone in the room was focused on the gift-wrapped box that Caroline passed to Kim.

"This is from Kay and Steve," Kim said, as she looked at the card and smiled. She opened the box and pulled out the knit cap and muffler that Kayla had made for Jeannie.

"Oh, that's adorable," Caroline exclaimed.

Kim laughed and looked at Kayla. "It's good that at least one of us got the knitting gene." Kayla chuckled as she recalled a couple of Kim's disastrous attempts at knitting. Kayla started to make a joke in response, but Stephanie chose that moment to begin crying.

"Uh oh," Steve said, from behind Kayla. "Looks like Little Sweetness needs a diaper change."

Kayla rose to her feet as Stephanie continued to howl. "Maybe, but I think it's more that she's like her papa and hates not being the center of attention." She grinned at Steve, who gave her a wry smile back.

"We'll discuss that later," he said, but his tone was good-natured, and Kayla had a pretty good idea of what their "discussion" would entail. "Let me take her," he said.

"No, I've got it." She was already standing. "I'll just get her quiet. Be back in a minute."

"Okay." Steve nodded. "I actually have something to discuss with Roman."

Kayla tried not to react, even though she knew that the topic of that discussion was probably Lawrence Alamain. But there was no point in starting another argument, so she headed out the door and down the hallway to the room Kim had set up as a makeshift nursery for when the baby was downstairs. On the way, Kayla passed the playroom where the cousins were playing. She laughed as she heard Sami complain about the boys not letting her play. _Funny how little things change_. Poor Sami. It was hard to be the only girl in the group. Kayla remembered all the times she tried to get Roman and Bo to let her play football. Well, in a few years, Sami would have Stephanie and Jeannie to boss around, and she would be perfectly happy.

Passing the closed door to Shane's study, Kayla reached the nursery. A quick check told her that the problem was not Stephanie's diaper, but the baby continued to cry. Kayla lifted her up and tried bouncing her, hoping it would soothe her. "I can't wait until you can really talk," she said. "Then you can tell me what's wrong."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Kayla spun around to see Shane standing in the doorway.

"Sorry. . . . Guess it's my turn to apologize for startling you." He looked over at Stephanie. "Is she all right?"

"I think so. She's not sick and didn't need a change, and I know she's not hungry after all the food Simmons prepared for her and Jeannie." Kayla smiled. "That was a nice touch, by the way." She knew with a near-certainty that Shane had instructed the butler to have food for the babies.

Shane shrugged off the compliment and focused on Stephanie. "Well . . . process of elimination means she's probably teething. Either that or you're entering the 'terrible twos' a bit early." He walked over to the dressing table and fished around a little. "Here we go." He turned back and walked over with a pacifier. "Why don't you see if that works?"

Kayla tested it. Stephanie immediately stopped crying and started to suck on the pacifier. Kayla shook her head. "Okay, now I feel like an idiot."

"Don't," he said. "I learned the hard way with Andrew to always have one at the ready. It was either that or let him chew on my finger. At times, I would've sworn that boy was half-piranha."

Kayla laughed, but she saw the same sadness in Shane's eyes that she had seen earlier when he had talked about the cameo. She doubted her father's comments had helped any. "I'm sorry about what my pop said."

"Don't be. . . ." Shane sighed. "I should've expected something like that would happen."

"But it's not fair," Kayla said. "The only reason Pop was ever mad at you was because of our relationship. He shouldn't blame you for everything that happened."

"I don't know about that," Shane said ruefully. "I was the one who kept telling you that your family would get used to us in time. I guess maybe I was wrong. It still seems to be an issue even now that Steve is back and you and I . . . ." Shane's words drifted off.

"Our relationship may have ended, but you'll always be special to me, Shane," Kayla said softly. "You were there for me and Stephanie in so many ways. I'll never be able to thank you for that."

"You don't have to thank me," Shane said tenderly. "You and Stephanie brought something special to my life, even if it was only for a short time."

Kayla smiled at Shane as he looked down at Stephanie calmly sucking on the pacifier. No matter how much things had changed, Kayla knew there would always be a bond between the three of them. She only hoped that someday Steve and her family would understand.


	138. Chapter 137

After Kayla left the room with Stephanie, Steve's eye immediately scanned the room to find Roman. Seeing him standing in the corner with Bo, Steve walked over.

"Quite the party, huh?" Steve said as he reached the two men.

"Yeah," Roman replied, looking around. "Jeannie made quite the haul for a one-year old."

"It does pay to be a Brady kid," Bo added.

"Right," Steve said. Looking around to make sure Kayla had not returned, Steve turned back to Roman. "You got any new information on Lawrence's attacks on Andrew?"

"Not yet," Roman replied. "But we'll catch the guy in a mistake soon enough."

"You know . . . I have some free time on my hands these days," Steve said. "Maybe I could look at your files and see if I can come up with anything new."

"You think I missed something?" Roman asked, clearly not happy with that implication.

"No," Steve replied. "But a fresh set of eyes, or at least a fresh eye, couldn't hurt, could it? I used to be a pretty good detective."

"'Used to be' is the operative phrase, partner," Roman said evenly. "Those files are police files and I can't just let you into them."

Steve grimaced. "Come on, Roman. You can make an exception and you know it."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, Steve. But I want to nail Lawrence for good and that means doing things by the book. If I let you into those files, somebody is going to find out about it and use that to get Lawrence off the hook again."

Steve wanted to protest further, but he knew from experience that Roman was not going to budge. "Fine," Steve said angrily. "But you and I both know that Lawrence doesn't play by the book. And someday we're going to have to start playing by our own rules."

Not waiting for Roman to reply, Steve turned and walked away. He noticed that Kayla had still not returned. Looking around at the people enjoying the party, Steve grew more and more uncomfortable. As much as he tried to stop thinking about it, he could not help but wonder what had happened in this house during the time Kayla had lived here - and afterwards. He knew that Kayla had not slept with Shane, but that was cold comfort. He could picture them sitting in front of the fire together. Shane was holding Kayla, touching her - kissing her.

Steve shook his head to clear the image from his mind, but it would not go away. He had told Kayla that there was nothing to forgive and he had meant it. But he could not stop the pain and jealousy he felt welling up inside. He should have been the one holding Kayla and taking care of her - not Shane.

Knowing he was going to lose it if he did not do something quick, Steve headed out the door and into the foyer. Turning left, he headed down the hallway hoping to find Stephanie and Kayla. He had only taken a few steps when he heard Kayla's laugh. Smiling at the sound, Steve continued in the direction of the sound. Only a few steps later, the smile faded from his face as he realized Kayla was not alone. Another voice had joined in her laughter. Shane's voice.

Steve stopped, torn between wanting to storm into the room and wanting to get as far away as possible from the sound of his wife and Shane laughing together. As Steve stood there trying to decide what to do, he heard their conversation continue.

" . . . I did not cheat. I won that poker game fair and square," he heard Kayla say.

"Fair and square?" Shane replied. "You took advantage of the fact that I was distracted by Stephanie crying."

"It's not my fault you're such a big softy," Kayla said, giggling again. "I lost count of the times I would put her to bed and come back a few minutes later to find you holding her because she hadn't fallen asleep yet."

Steve felt his heart clinch as Shane and Kayla bantered about Stephanie. Every word was a stark reminder of what he had missed and of the fact that another man had taken his place in Stephanie's life. And in Kayla's life as well.

" . . . just lucky I figured out Stephanie had good taste in music," Shane was now saying. "It saved you from a lot of late nights when she didn't want to fall asleep."

"Okay, you got me there," Kayla replied. "And that music box you gave her for her birthday has been a lifesaver more than once."

_Music box_. Steve immediately flashed on the small, pink music box that currently resided on Stephanie's dresser. He recalled Kayla telling him that it was useful in getting Stephanie to sleep. _But she didn't tell you where it came from, now did she_?

" . . . don't pretend you didn't spoil Stephanie rotten," Steve heard Kayla say. "That doll you gave her at Christmas, the music box . . . you even wanted to take her to that horse show just so she would learn to love horses and the two of you could ride together someday."

"Well, why not?" Shane said. "She's a beautiful little girl, and I can already tell she'd make a fantastic rider."

"Really?" Kayla laughed. "Well in case you haven't noticed, the Johnson family doesn't have a big country estate with stables. So I think you are going to have to find another riding partner."

"The Johnson family may not have the estate and stables, but I do," Shane replied. "I'd be more than happy to provide Stephanie with riding lessons and a pony. It's the least I could do for you, and for Stephanie."

Steve felt his blood boil. His daughter did not need some blue-blooded Englishman to provide her with anything. _Who did Donovan think he was anyway_?

"Well . . . I think that decision can wait until Stephanie's actually old enough to sit a horse," Kayla said. "After all, she's still figuring out the whole walking thing."

"You're probably right," Shane said. "But it will be time before you know it. She's already growing up so fast."

"Yes she is," Kayla agreed. "And right now, this growing girl seems to need a change."

"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave," Shane said. "Enjoy the rest of the party, and don't forget what I said about the riding lessons."

Steve stepped back and leaned against the wall, waiting for Shane to appear. It was time that Mr. ISA understood that Stephanie had a father, that Kayla had a husband, and that Shane's services were no longer needed. _They never should have been needed in the first place_.

Shane walked out of the room and stopped suddenly when he saw Steve standing there. "Steve," he said, the surprise apparent on his face. "What are you doing out here?"

Steve leaned away from the wall and took a step towards Shane. "Just waiting for my wife." A dangerous smile appeared on his face. "I didn't want to interrupt your little walk down memory lane."

"Take it easy, Steve," Shane said. "Kayla and I were just talking."

"Oh . . . I heard your little talk." Steve's voice had an edge to it. "And now it's time for you and me to have our own little talk. We're going to get some things straight once and for all."


	139. Chapter 138

Shane recognized the smile on Steve's face and the tone of his voice. On the surface it was friendly enough, but Shane knew Steve well enough to know that it was simply a mask that barely concealed a very pissed-off man. The last thing Shane wanted to do at the moment was to get into another fight with Steve, but he was not sure he could avoid it.

"Hold on, Steve," Shane said, keeping his voice neutral. "I really don't think this is the time or the place to have another argument. The kids are just down the hall."

"I wasn't planning on having an argument, Donovan," Steve hissed, lowering his voice. "I'm going to talk and you're going to listen."

Shane looked down the hall and could hear the kids happily playing in the other room. Knowing he was not going to be able to walk away without some kind of scene, Shane resigned himself to another lecture.

"Okay, Steve . . . have it your way. What is it that you think I need to know?"

"Something simple enough for even you to understand." Steve's words dripped with sarcasm. "Kayla and Stephanie are my family, not yours. They don't need you or your fancy gifts or big estates."

"I'm very aware of that fact, Steve." Shane forced himself to remain calm. "Now, if you're finished, I have some business to attend to."

"No I'm not finished," Steve snapped. "I don't think you're getting it. Stay away from my wife and my daughter."

This was getting ridiculous. "Look, Steve . . . I'm sorry that you're upset, but you can't stop me from caring about Kayla and Stephanie."

"The hell I can't," Steve growled, taking another step in Shane's direction.

Shane knew the situation was rapidly getting out of control, but he was tired of being the whipping boy for Steve's jealousy. Maybe it was time Steve heard some hard truths.

"You need to understand something, Steve," Shane said. "When you were gone, I spent a lot of time with Kayla and Stephanie. We got close, and I came to care about them - a lot. You can't just demand that we forget about those nine months."

"That's exactly what you need to do." Steve's face was turning a deep red. "Forget they ever happened."

Shane was truly baffled. Was Steve so insecure about Kayla's love for him that he would explode over her having a casual conversation with Shane? But what Steve was asking was ridiculous. "I'm sorry, Steve, but I can't do that."

"It wasn't a request," Steve said.

"What are you going to do, Steve? Are you going to lock them up? Forbid Kayla from talking to me? Forbid Stephanie from ever seeing me? They aren't your property."

"This isn't about them." Steve's voice rose in volume. "This is about you. Just stay the hell out of our lives."

"What do you think I've been doing? In case you've forgotten, this is my house, not yours." Shane fought to keep his anger under control.

"I haven't forgotten anything," Steve said, emphasizing the last word. "Especially how you stepped right in to take my place when I was gone."

"Well you stepped right back in again, didn't you?" Shane took a deep breath. "Isn't it time to let this go?"

"It's a little hard to do that when I hear you offering my daughter a pony," Steve's voice rose again.

That's what was bothering him? A pony? Shane was genuinely confused. "What's wrong with wanting Stephanie to have riding lessons and a pony like her cousins?"

"You don't give a damn about whether Stephanie learns to ride," Steve snapped. "You just want another way of throwing your money around, making you look like the big hero."

Shane shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just thought it would be nice for the children-"

"Yeah, right." Steve leaned in closer. "If my daughter wants or needs anything, I'll make sure she gets it. Maybe I don't have your kind of money, but I can take care of my family just fine."

Before Shane could respond, the door behind him opened and Kayla appeared with Stephanie. She stopped short when she saw Shane and Steve. Looking back and forth between them, she said, "What's going on out here?"

"Nothing, Sweetness," Steve responded, his eyes never leaving Shane. "Donovan and I were just have a little chat."

"Shane?" Kayla looked at him.

The last thing Shane wanted to do was put Kayla back in the middle of a conflict. Swallowing his anger and frustration, he nodded. "It's nothing to be concerned about, Kayla. Besides shouldn't you all be getting back to the party?"

Kayla's eyes narrowed. "You both make lousy liars. I'm not blind, so why don't one of you tell me the truth?"

Shane shifted uncomfortably and looked down the hall. As he did, he caught a glimpse of Andrew. The boy was standing in the hallway outside the children's playroom. His eyes were wide as he stared at them.

"Hey, Sport," Shane called out. He wanted to make Steve and Kayla aware of Andrew's presence. Steve and Kayla both turned towards where Andrew was standing.

Turning back to Steve and Kayla, Shane said, "If you'll excuse me, I need to check on my son."

Steve nodded curtly. "Just remember what I said."

Shane bit back his response, as Kayla glanced at Steve. She then gave Shane a small smile and an apologetic look. _Yeah, I'm sorry, too_, Shane thought, but he said nothing further as he walked down the hall toward Andrew.

Kneeling beside Andrew, Shane saw Steve and Kayla walking back towards the foyer and the party. Shane put a hand on Andrew's shoulder. "What are you doing out here, champ?"

"I heard your voice," Andrew said. "I wanted to see if you would come and play with me." Looking down the hall to where Steve and Shane had been standing, Andrew asked, "Were you and Uncle Steve fighting?"

Shane sighed. Andrew liked Steve and, like Kayla, should not be put in the middle of any of this conflict. "No, we weren't fighting," Shane lied. "We were just having a little talk and disagreed about something. It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Okay, Daddy," Andrew said. "Now can you come and play with me?"

Shane smiled at his son. "Of course I can, but only for a few minutes. Then it's going to be time to get you ready for bed."

Shane stood up. Andrew smiled broadly as he pulled Shane's hand and led him to the room where the children were playing. A few games with Andrew and his cousins beat digging through ISA files any day.


	140. Chapter 139

Kayla opened the apartment door as Steve carried a sleeping Stephanie inside. She set her purse and jacket down while Steve went straight to Stephanie's bedroom to put her to bed. She thought about following him, but decided to wait for him in the living room instead.

She knew they needed to talk. As soon as she had stepped into the hallway at Shane's house, she could tell that Steve and Shane had been in the middle of another argument. Their denials had been hollow at best, and it was clear that whatever truce had been reached at Donovan Manor was no longer in effect.

Kayla sighed and ran her hands across her face. She did not know what exactly had set Steve off, but she surmised that he must have overheard her talking to Shane. For a moment, Kayla grew angry. She understood that Steve was still dealing with the fact of her relationship with Shane, but she should not have to feel guilty for simply having a conversation with a man who had been, and still was, a good friend.

Yet, she did feel guilty. She felt guilty every time she saw the awkwardness between Shane and Kim, every time her father blamed Kayla or Shane for Kim's unhappiness, and every time she saw the pain in Steve's eye when somebody brought up something that had happened while he was gone.

Kayla leaned back on the couch, suddenly feeling exhausted. She was tired of feeling guilty, tired of walking on eggshells around Shane, Kim, and - especially - Steve. Kayla was tired of wondering whether her career as a nurse would be taken from her permanently. Well, she thought with an ironic smile, that part might be taken care of as early as the day after tomorrow.

She raised her head as she heard Steve walk into the room. "Is Stephanie all tucked in?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah. She went right back to sleep." Then he turned and walked into the kitchen.

Kayla got up from the couch and followed him. Standing in the doorway, she watched as he removed a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and opened it. He took a long pull from the bottle before turning and seeing Kayla standing there.

"You want one?" Steve asked, pointing to his beer.

"No," Kayla replied. "What I want is for you to stop giving me the silent treatment and tell me what was going on with you and Shane."

Steve turned away and took another drink of his beer. "I'm not giving you the silent treatment, baby. I already told you it was nothing."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Come on, Steve. You hardly spoke two words to me after we went back to the party and on the way home. And I know both you and Shane well enough to know that whatever was going on was not 'nothing.'"

"It doesn't matter, Kayla," Steve said, turning back to face her. "It's late. Let's just go to bed." He took a step towards the kitchen door.

"It does matter, Steve," Kayla said forcefully. "If you won't tell me what happened, how about I tell you?"

Steve stopped in front of her. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how you obviously found Shane and me talking, and how that upset you." Kayla continued to stand in the doorway, refusing to let him walk away from her.

Steve turned away and walked back to the kitchen counter. He leaned against it, then finally spoke. "Yeah . . . it did upset me."

Kayla breathed a small sigh of relief. At least, he had admitted it. Remaining where she stood, she said, "You know it was just a conversation, right? Shane happened to walk by when I was trying to calm Stephanie down. It was nothing more than that."

"I know that." Steve said sharply. "It's not about that."

"Then what is it about, Steve?" Kayla asked, frustration creeping into her voice. "I thought we talked this through in England. You told me that you and Shane had settled things."

"I thought we had. But I guess Mr. ISA and I have different ideas about what that means."

Kayla was confused. She thought back to her conversation with Shane. They had just been talking about Stephanie, nothing more.

"I don't understand, Steve. Yesterday, we stood in this kitchen and I asked you if you had forgiven me for what happened between me and Shane. You told me there was nothing to forgive. Were those just words?"

Steve turned to face Kayla. "No. They weren't just words, Kayla. I meant it."

"Then why are you so upset? Just talk to me, Steve. Please."

Kayla watched as Steve seemed to struggle with some internal battle. Finally he turned to her, hurt evident on his face.

"I know that when you were with Shane you believed that I was dead. And I know that you love me," Steve said. Kayla could hear the sincerity, as well as the hurt, in his voice. "But . . . it doesn't stop it from feeling like somebody is putting a knife in my gut when I hear you laughing with him about how he spoiled Stephanie and how he stayed up with you when Stephanie was having a sleepless night."

Kayla felt the guilt hit her again. All this time she had thought Steve's issues with Shane were a reflection of his insecurity about her love for him. For the first time, she realized it was just as much about Shane's place in Stephanie's life.

"I should have been the one there with you," Steve continued, his voice raw with emotion. "I should have seen Stephanie's first steps. I should have been staying up playing poker when Stephanie couldn't sleep. All of that should have been me."

"I know," Kayla said softly. "I wish it had been you. More than anything." She paused a moment, then charged forward. "But we have to accept what happened. You can't keep getting mad whenever anybody talks about the time you were gone."

"It's not just people talking about the time I was gone. It's . . . " Steve stopped and turned away again.

"It's what?" Kayla prompted, determined not to let him shut down again. "Tell me."

"It's the way you were talking with him," Steve shouted. "Laughing about the good old days when it was just the three of you. It was like . . . like it didn't even matter that I wasn't there."

"You know that's not true," Kayla said, feeling the guilt rise up again.

"Do I?" Steve gave a harsh laugh. "Sometimes I'm not so sure, baby. Hell, I'm back and Shane still has a whole plan to give Stephanie riding lessons and a pony. What the hell does Stephanie need me for?"

"Stop it," Kayla yelled. "Stephanie needs you because you are her father and you love her like nobody else can. And she loves you. She doesn't need riding lessons and a pony. She just needs her father to love her. Shane could never take your place in her heart . . . or in mine."

"That all sounds great, Kayla. It really does." Steve paced around the kitchen. "But it doesn't feel that way right now. I listened to you two talking about the fun times you had. You know what I was doing during those late-night poker games? Serving as Alamain's lab rat. Hurting so much I sometimes wished they'd just kill me and get it over with."

"You think I don't know that," Kayla replied, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. "You think that I don't hate myself for not knowing you were alive, for not finding you, for being safe and cared for when you were in so much pain?"

"Baby -"

"No. Don't 'baby' me." Kayla's anger and frustration came pouring out. "I don't know how many different ways to tell you I'm sorry or to show you what you mean to me." It was her turn to pace now. "You tell me you forgive me, but it's pretty obvious you don't. You wouldn't be this angry if you did." She took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. "So why don't you tell me, once and for all, what do I need to do? Huh? Do I need to beg for forgiveness on my knees? What will it take?"

"No!" Steve yelled. "That's not what I want. Dammit, I do forgive you." He ran his hands through his hair and adjusted his patch. "I love you and all I want to do is move on with our lives and forget about the time I was gone. That's all I want."

Kayla thought back to her conversation with Shane a few days ago when he had talked about how he and Kim had tried to forget the past after he got his memory back. She remembered how Shane had told her that had been a mistake; that it had only covered up the wounds instead of healing them. She knew that as much as it hurt, she and Steve were going to have to face the past, not avoid it.

"We can't forget what happened, Steve. That's pretty obvious." Kayla paused. "The question is whether you can find a way to accept it and whether we can put it behind us."

"That's all I want to do, Sweetness. You have to believe that."

"I do believe that," Kayla said. "But just wanting it isn't enough." She took a deep breath. "You can't keep blaming Shane for everything."

Anger flickered in Steve's eye again. "Don't defend him, Kayla."

"Why not?" Kayla asked, defiantly. "What happened was not Shane's fault. I'm a grown woman and I made my own choices. If you've truly forgiven me, then you need to forgive Shane as well."

"It's not the same thing," Steve said, his voice rising again.

"Yes it is," Kayla said.

"No it's not," Steve repeated. "You were a grieving widow and Shane took advantage of that. Marcus told me how Shane was always around and how he pushed his way into your life."

"Marcus was wrong," Kayla said. "Shane didn't push himself into my life and he didn't take advantage of me." She looked at Steve with a new understanding. "You're taking out your anger on the wrong person."

They stood in silence for several moments, neither sure how to bridge the gulf that had opened up. The silence was interrupted by a loud cry from the other room. Kayla cringed. Apparently, Stephanie had been unable to sleep through her parents screaming at each other.

Turning, Kayla started towards Stephanie's room. She stopped when she heard Steve call her name.

"Kayla . . . I . . . I . . ." Steve stopped, a helpless look of pain and frustration on his face. "I'm sorry."

"I know," she said softly. "I'm sorry too." Turning away, she walked quickly into her daughter's room, hoping that she could at least soothe her daughter's fears, even if she could do nothing for her own.


	141. Chapter 140

Kim finished putting Jeannie down and headed down the hall toward Andrew's room. As she reached the door, she heard Shane's voice.

"But the fisherman was a wise man," Shane was saying, and Kim realized he was reading Andrew a story. "So he said to the genie, 'Before I choose how I'll die, I have to ask something. Were you really in that vase?' And the genie replied, 'Yes, I was.' So the fisherman, with a sly glint in his eye, shook his head. 'I don't believe it,' he said. 'A genie as big as you? The vase couldn't even hold one of your feet. I can't believe it could hold your whole body.'"

"And then what happened?" Andrew said. He sounded anxious, completely engrossed in the story. Kim leaned against the wall outside his room, smiled, and continued to listen.

Inside the room, Shane chuckled. "Well, like I told you, the fisherman was a wise man. His taunting caused the genie to get angry. How dare a human not believe the powerful genie? So the genie began to change. First, he started to shimmer in the light. Then his entire body began to turn into smoke and sweep over the fisherman. And then . . . the smoke collected itself and began to go back into the vase. A little at a time. Then a little more. Until all the smoke was inside. When that was done, the fisherman looked at the vase and heard the genie's voice coming from inside. 'Well, unbelieving fisherman, here I am in the vase. Do you believe me now?' But the fisherman did not answer. Instead, he took the lid of the vase and clamped it down on top, locking the genie away so he could never come back. And though the genie begged to be freed and made all sorts of promises to the fisherman - promises of great wealth and power - the fisherman refused. Instead, he built a house on the shore so he could warn every other fisherman who cast his nets into the sea about the vase and the genie inside. And so, the genie's evil was locked away forever, and he never again was able to threaten anyone ever again."

_If only ridding the world of evil was so easy_, Kim thought. She sighed as she stepped into the room. Shane was perched on the edge of Andrew's bed, and they both looked up at her as she entered. "I hate to break up the story," she said. "But someone is up way past their bedtime."

Andrew frowned and gave her the sad-eyed look he had nearly perfected. "Do I have to?"

"Come on, Sport. Don't argue with your mother." Shane set the book on the dresser beside the bed and stood up. He helped Andrew settle into the bed, gave him a kiss on the forehead, and said good night. Shane glanced briefly at Kim, a dark look in his eyes, but he said nothing as he left the room. Once he was gone, Kim walked over to the bed.

"Did you have a nice time with your cousins?" she asked.

Andrew nodded, then frowned a little. ". . . Except when Daddy and Uncle Steve were fighting. Eric said it's because of the bad men wanting to hurt us."

Kim was taken aback. She had no idea that anything had happened between Shane and Steve during the party, but she would deal with that later. The first thing she had to do was reassure her son that he was safe. "Don't you worry, Andrew. Your daddy's taking care of the bad men. Nobody's going to hurt us." Kim made a mental note to have some words with Roman about what he said in front of his children. She kissed Andrew. "Now you go to sleep and don't worry about anything. Daddy's here and he won't let anything bad happen."

Walking out of Andrew's room, she heard Jeannie crying. _Already_? It had only been about five minutes since Kim had put Jeannie in her crib. How could she already be awake and crying? Resigned to the thought that she might be up all night, Kim headed down the hallway to Jeannie's room.

She stopped short when she reached the door.

"Shane?" Kim was shocked to see him standing next to the crib, holding Jeannie and trying to soothe her.

He looked up at her, a bit sheepishly. "You were with Andrew, so I thought I might be able to calm her." Meanwhile, Jeannie continued to cry. "Obviously, I'm not doing a very good job. I . . . I guess she doesn't really know me. . . ."

Kim thought she detected a note of regret in his tone, but she chose to focus more on Jeannie. She took the baby from Shane's arms and began soothing her. It took a few minutes but, eventually, Jeannie fell back asleep and Kim laid her in the crib. She was not surprised to find that Shane had left.

They needed to talk; Kim knew that. Even if she had not heard about Shane's argument with Steve from Andrew, she still wanted to talk with him about her father's behavior.

He was not hard to locate. She found Shane in the library, studying the remains of the birthday party. There were some dirty plates on the tables, the streamers were still hanging, and piles of wrapping paper littered the floor. "I was just going to clean up after I put Jeannie to bed," Kim said.

"There's no need," Shane replied. "Simmons can get it in the morning."

"Simmons has enough to do without me making more work." Kim started picking up pieces of wrapping paper. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Shane doing the same. "The dress is very pretty, by the way. Jeannie's going to look beautiful in it."

It seemed like it took a minute for Shane to realize that Kim was referring to his gift. He just nodded and remained silent. After a few minutes, he said, "Seems like it was a good party."

"It was. . . . You should have been there." Kim sighed. She could tell that, beneath his polite exterior, Shane was angry. "I'm sorry about what Papa said. He had no right-"

"That's right, Kim," Shane snapped. "He has no right telling me how to live my life. We're divorced and everyone needs to accept that. I know my 'obligations,' and I don't need your father coming at me every time we're in the same room."

"Then you should have said that. You didn't have to leave the party." Kim stopped picking up the paper and waited, expecting him to calm down. That was how Shane usually acted. He would get angry momentarily, let out his feelings, and then return to his typical, self-contained restraint. But not now.

"And what good would that have done?" Shane's voice continued to rise. "So I could've had everyone in your family coming to Shawn's defense and I would've been the bad guy again for making your father angry?"

"Shane-"

"No, Kim. I won't be your family's whipping boy any longer," Shane said. "This is my house, and I won't have people coming into my house and telling me what I bloody well can and can't do. Not Shawn. Not Steve. Not anyone."

Kim thought about the other day after she and Andrew were nearly hit by the car. She had accused Shane of starting a fight with her father, but she knew, even then, that Shawn had probably started it - most likely the same way he was itching for an argument tonight. "You're right," she said softly. "You don't deserve to be treated that way. I'm sorry."

She could see Shane relax as the anger left him. "It's not your fault, Kim." He turned away and ran his hands through his hair as he paced a bit in front of the fireplace.

Kim could tell he was still frustrated by something. Recalling Shane's mention of Steve and Andrew's comment about Shane and Steve fighting, she had a pretty good guess as to what it was.

"Andrew said you and Steve were arguing," Kim said, keeping her voice even. "About Kayla, I presume?"

Shane shook his head. "No, it wasn't about Kayla. . . . It was about Stephanie, actually. I know Steve's upset that Stephanie lived here, but I can't just pretend that I don't care about her. It wasn't even anything important. I just helped Kayla stop Stephanie from crying, and we talked a little. I'm sorry Steve overheard us, but it wasn't like we were doing anything other than talking."

"About Stephanie though?"

"Yes," Shane said. "About Stephanie. Kayla and I just talked about a couple of things that happened when they were living here."

Kim doubted it was just that. "Maybe if you told me, I might be able to understand better."

"I don't know. . . ." Shane seemed to think a bit. "We talked about when Kayla was trying to get Stephanie to adjust to the house. She'd read some theory about letting the baby cry for a little while, then checking on her, then letting her cry a little longer before checking again. She was going to try that one night, and I kept her company. . . . So we were talking about that. I don't know. It was just a conversation." He paused. "I think what really angered Steve was the pony."

"The pony?" Kim was confused.

Shane sighed. "Kayla mentioned something I'd said to her once - about how we'd teach Stephanie to ride. I told her that I still wanted that and I'd arrange for riding lessons and a pony for Stephanie."

Kim could not help but laugh. Sometimes, Shane was so completely oblivious. "Steve overheard you offering to buy Stephanie a pony. And you don't understand why that might have upset him?"

"I didn't mean it like that." Shane sounded exasperated. "I just thought that, since Andrew and Jeannie would have their own horses and riding lessons, I didn't want Stephanie to be left out. It's not like I can't afford it."

"That's exactly it," Kim said. "Don't you understand? To you, it's nothing. You've always had more money than you could spend in a lifetime. Even when you were a boy." She remembered Shane's story about how his mother would send him a new school uniform every week rather than just have the old ones cleaned. That had seemed so absurd to her, but it had said everything about the differences in their backgrounds. "Money's never been a big deal to you, because you never had to go hungry or wear hand-me-down clothes. Steve grew up in an orphanage and he's spent most of his life barely scraping together money for the basics. Kayla told me once that Steve was afraid he couldn't be a good father, because he couldn't provide the things his children would need. So when he hears you mentioning buying Stephanie a pony, it's a reminder of what he's afraid he can't give his daughter."

"So I'm supposed to apologize that my family was wealthy? I can't help who my parents were." Shane shook his head again. "I'm not going to feel guilty about doing something nice for Stephanie just because Steve's ego can't cope with it. Would it be better if she felt like Andrew and Jeannie's poor relation?"

"Maybe not," Kim said. "But it's something that you probably should discuss with Steve and Kayla first."

"I _was_ discussing it." Shane's frustration returned. "I was discussing it with Kayla. It's not like I'm going to show up next week on their doorstep with a pony in tow."

"I know you won't," Kim said. "And I do understand that you want to do something nice for Stephanie. . . . I just think you could be more sensitive to the fact that, after everything he went through, Steve is feeling very uncertain about things - and you're the focus of his anger and guilt. And the more you do things that remind him of those insecurities, the angrier he gets. It's not reasonable, Shane, and it's probably not fair, either. But that's the reality right now."

Shane said nothing. He let out a deep breath and gave her a curt nod before returning to the trash. Kim did the same. As she picked up some more wrapping paper, something Shane had said hit her.

"Shane . . . did you really say you're getting a pony for Jeannie?"

Shane grimaced. "Not you too?"

"No . . . I'm not upset. I guess I'm . . . confused."

"Why? Because I would do that for her, even though she's not my daughter?" He spoke in an even tone, but the hurt was evident in his eyes again. "Don't read too much into it, Kim. I actually figured it would be the best thing for Andrew."

"I don't understand." Kim truly was confused. "What does this have to do with Andrew?"

Shane shrugged. "Jeannie's Andrew's sister. I don't want them growing up together and her resenting him because he has a father. . . ." He paused. "All right, a rich father. . . , and she doesn't. I don't want her growing up resenting Andrew. I've seen what that kind of resentment can lead to."

Kim knew he was thinking about his brother. Drew had spent a lifetime in Shane's shadow and that resentment had festered over time. It had led him to join with Stefano and nearly kill them all. But Kim also had to chuckle at the idea that her baby daughter would ever betray her family. "You think Jeannie could turn out like Drew?"

Shane looked at her, his face completely serious. "Drew came from a good home, with loving parents, and, as you've so clearly pointed out, all the advantages in life. It didn't stop him from hating me and ruining his life because of it. Look . . . I'm not saying the same thing would happen with Jeannie; I just don't want Andrew and Jeannie to grow up with a wall between them."

Kim knew Shane was sincere in both his offer and his reasons. But she also knew that, in the end, it would not make a difference. There would always be a wall between her children and it had nothing to do with horses, cars, or any other expensive toys that Shane could provide. The true barrier was that Andrew had a father who cared deeply about his child and would do anything for him, while Jeannie's father was a monster. But Kim knew better than to point that out right now. Shane did not need another reminder about Cal Winters, especially in response to his offer to do something so nice for Jeannie.

"Thank you," Kim said. "Even if you are doing this for Andrew, it means a lot to me that you'd do something so nice for Jeannie."

"They're just children," Shane said softly. "They shouldn't have to pay for our mistakes." Shane cleared his throat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to."

Kim watched him leave the room, while his words echoed in her head. _They shouldn't have to pay for our mistakes_. His choice of words made her smile a little. He had always maintained that Cal Winters was Kim's mistake, but if he was describing it now as _their_ mistake, maybe that meant something. And there had been that slightly regretful tone when Shane held Jeannie earlier. _Maybe_.

Or maybe she was just back to getting her hopes up, despite promising that she would stop pining for Shane and would move on with her life. Here she was, jumping at his word choices and hoping they had some hidden meaning. Kim shook her head and returned to cleaning the library. She had to accept reality. Like Shane had said, they were divorced and everyone had to accept that.


	142. Chapter 141

Kayla stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the hallway. As she reached the living room, she stopped and took in the scene in front of her. Steve was sitting on the floor, his back to her, watching Stephanie play with her toys.

How many times had she dreamed of watching Steve and Stephanie together? How many times had she dismissed the idea as nothing more than a dream? She thought back to the previous night when Steve had been hurt when he had overheard her talking with Shane. She knew it hurt Steve to be reminded that Shane had shared so much time with her and Stephanie while he was gone. But what Steve did not understand was that Kayla wished he had been a part of those moments as much as Steve did.

She was grateful that Shane had been there for her, and for Stephanie. Having someone to share those moments had helped her endure the pain of believing that Steve would never see his daughter pass those important milestones in her life. But it had never stopped Kayla from wishing that Steve was there or from believing that he should have been there.

Kayla stood in the doorway, still mesmerized by her husband and daughter. She watched as Steve rolled a ball to Stephanie, and listened as his deep laugh joined with Stephanie's childish giggles. Suddenly, Stephanie noticed Kayla and pointed at her, saying, "Mama."

Steve turned to see Kayla standing in the entryway. "Hey, baby." His eye caught and held hers. "What are you doing back there?"

"Just watching a dream come true," Kayla said softly. She shook herself from the moment, walked to the table and picked up her purse and jacket.

Steve got up and walked towards her. "You going somewhere, Sweetness?"

Kayla nodded. "I need to pick up a couple of things at the store before I fly to the capital today."

"Well why don't Little Sweetness and I go with you?" Steve gave her a grin. "Maybe we could stop at the park or something."

Kayla knew Steve was trying to put their argument from the previous evening behind them. He had been trying since she had put Stephanie back to sleep the night before. The problem was that he wanted to forget it had happened, rather than deal with issues that had surfaced. And that was not going to fix things.

"I think it's better if I just go run my errands alone." Kayla looked over at her daughter. "I think Stephanie is pretty happy right where she is."

"Baby -"

"It's okay," Kayla said, cutting Steve off. "I won't be gone long." She softened as she saw the hurt on Steve's face. "Maybe we can take her to the park for a little while after I get back."

"All right." Steve paused a moment. "I know you're still mad about what I said last night. But you're going to be gone for a couple of days. I just . . . I just want us to spend some time together before you go."

"I know." Kayla sighed. "I want that, too." She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. "I'll be back soon." She walked over and gave Stephanie a kiss as well. When she reached the door, she turned and smiled at Steve. "See if you two can stay out of trouble while I'm gone. Okay?"

Steve nodded and gave her a small smile. Kayla turned back to the door and left the apartment.

Kayla made her stops quickly and efficiently, while her mind alternated between the tension at home and the hearing scheduled for the next day. When she finished her errands, she impulsively drove to the pier. She knew she needed to clear her head and the pier had always been her favorite spot to think.

As she walked along the water, Kayla tried to figure out what to do. She knew that she and Steve had to deal with his anger about Shane. No, that was not quite right. They had to deal with his anger at her about Shane. But she did not know how to make him deal with it when he would not even admit that he was angry at her.

Kayla stopped as she heard voices coming towards her. Looking up, she spotted Bo and Shawn Douglas walking down the pier. They were carrying their fishing poles and were obviously returning from a successful fishing trip, judging by the string of fish Shawn Douglas was struggling to carry.

"Hey, Kay," Bo called out when he saw her.

"Look what I caught, Aunt Kayla."

"That's quite a catch," Kayla said with a laugh. "You're turning into quite the fisherman."

"Like my papa," Shawn Douglas said, smiling at Bo.

"So what are you doing down here?" Bo asked. "Where's that old man of yours?"

"He's at home with Stephanie," Kayla replied. She turned back to the water. "I was just doing some thinking."

Bo gave Kayla a curious look. Turning to Shawn Douglas, he said, "Hey Sailor Man. Why don't you run those fish back to the boat and put them in the cooler. I'll be there in a few minutes to help you clean them."

"Okay, papa." Shawn Douglas took off for the boat at a run.

When Shawn Douglas was gone, Bo turned to Kayla. "All right, sis. What's going on?"

"What makes you think something is going on?"

Bo smiled at Kayla. "Because, ever since we were kids, this is where you came when there was a problem. You always said that looking at the water helped you think things through."

Kayla returned Bo's smile. He really did know her so well. She turned back to the water and gave a soft sigh. "Steve and I had a fight last night. He overheard Shane and me talking at the party. It upset him pretty badly."

"Oh?" Bo looked at Kayla. "What were you and Shane talking about?"

"Stephanie mostly," Kayla replied. "Steve thinks that Shane took his place while he was gone. I think, deep down, he's afraid he wasn't really missed."

"Well he's a damn fool then," Bo said. "Everybody knows how much you missed him."

"Everybody but Steve." Kayla gave a sad laugh. "The problem is that he thinks he's mad at Shane. He won't admit that the person he's really mad at is me. And I don't know how to fix the problem when he won't acknowledge it."

Kayla turned back to Bo as she heard him chuckle.

"You think that's funny?"

Bo stopped chuckling and looked at her. "No, I don't think it's funny. It's just that you always think you can fix things. When we were kids whenever Roman, Kimber or me would get in a fight, you were right there trying to fix it."

"What's wrong with wanting my family to be happy?" Kayla asked, confused.

"Nothing's wrong with it, Kay. But you never figured out that you can't fix everything for everybody."

Kayla's frustration got the best of her. "So what am I supposed to do, Bo? Just give up?"

"No," Bo said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You've never given up on anything, and I don't expect you would start now. But maybe this isn't something you can fix. Maybe this is something Steve needs to work through."

Kayla leaned into Bo, appreciating the emotional and physical support he provided. "I know that Steve needs to work through this, but I should be able to help him. But I can't because I'm the problem. I'm the one who moved on while he was gone. I'm the one who's causing him this pain."

"Hold on, Kay," Bo said, turning her to face him. "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know Steve was alive. None of us did."

"I know that. Steve knows that." Kayla pulled away from Bo, the frustration building again. "But it doesn't change the facts of what happened and it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty and Steve from being angry."

"Just give him some time, Kay. He really hasn't been back that long."

Kayla almost said she had given him time - that she thought they had worked through this in England. But she caught herself in time and just nodded at Bo.

"I know it hasn't been that long. Maybe I'm expecting too much. I just want things back like they used to be. We were so happy before . . . before the accident. I just want that back."

"I know you do, Kay." Bo said, putting his arm around her again. "And I know you'll get there. Steve loves you and you love him. That's enough to get you through this."

Kayla nodded again. She hugged him close and then pulled away. "I better get back home. Steve wants to take Stephanie to the park before I leave this afternoon."

"I hope everything goes okay at the hearing," Bo said.

"Thanks," Kayla replied. "I'm sure it will be fine. I'll talk to you when I get back."

"Okay." Bo kissed her cheek. He turned and began walking back towards his boat.

Alone on the pier again, Kayla took one last look out at the water. She was glad that Bo had been there to help her talk about some of her feelings. She knew he was right. She could not fix this, at least not by herself. She and Steve would have to work through it together somehow.

With that thought in mind, Kayla turned away from the water and began walking to her car. She was going to enjoy the next few hours with her family before she left. Steve and she would deal with their issues when she returned from the capitol.


	143. Chapter 142

"Gotcha." Steve reached out and tickled Stephanie as she squealed in delight. At least, he could still make his daughter smile. He only wished it could be that simple to put his and Kayla's problems behind them. He would give anything to be able to forget all that had happened while he was gone and just pretend he had never left.

But he had left. Not by his choice, but that hardly mattered now. He and Kayla were together, yet it seemed like the time apart was determined to haunt them and he was not sure how to chase away that ghost.

A knock on the door startled him and Stephanie both. "Now who could that be?" Steve asked Stephanie. "Let's go find out." He scooped her up, carried her with him to the door, and opened it. He was surprised to find Jack on the other side.

"Billy Jack." Steve gave his brother a grin. "What brings you by?" Since Steve's return, he and Jack had seen each other a few times, mostly during the weekly visits to Jo.

"I . . . uh, I was hoping . . . that is -" Jack stuttered until Steve cut him off.

"Don't just stand there in the hall sputtering," Steve said. "Come on in."

Steve watched as Jack stepped into the apartment. As usual, there was a nervous and slightly frantic edge to Jack's movements. Steve knew exactly why that was and doubted it would ever change.

As Jack stood nervously in the living room, shifting his weight from foot to foot, Steve walked over and put Stephanie in her playpen. He then turned back, gave Jack a wry grin, and pointed to the couch.

"Have a seat, Jack."

Jack glanced around the apartment, but remained standing. "Is . . . uh . . . is Kayla home?"

"No," Steve said sharply as his eye narrowed. "She had some errands to run before she leaves for the capitol."

"Right." Jack finally took a seat on the couch. "She has that hearing before state board."

"Yeah." Steve sat in the chair across from Jack. No matter how much time had passed, he would never be comfortable discussing Kayla with Jack.

"Are you going with her to the hearing?" Jack asked.

"No." Steve did not elaborate.

Jack flashed a nervous smile. "Really? I figured with you having just gotten back there is no way you'd let her leave town without you."

"It didn't work out that way," Steve said through gritted teeth.

"Oh." Jack looked at Steve curiously. "Is everything all right with you and Kayla?"

"We're fine." Steve fought to keep his voice even. He was not about to have that conversation with Jack. Before Jack could ask another question, Steve said, "So did you stop by just to shoot the breeze or was there something you wanted?"

"Actually . . . I . . . I wanted to talk to you about doing an interview for the Spectator." Jack looked down at his hands then looked back up, as if nervous about Steve's response.

"An interview? About what?" Steve knew he would not like the answer.

"About what's it been like returning to your life after being presumed dead for so many months." Jack stood and paced about the room a bit. "It could be a series of articles. The first would be about how you were found in Cincinnati. . . . That's still what happened, right?"

"Jack . . ." Steve made it clear that was a warning.

Jack hesitated, clearly picking up on Steve's tone, but then started talking again. "So the first article would be about Cincinnati. . . . Then there would be a few more about coming back and seeing your family and settling back into your life. It's a human interest piece."

"I don't think this human is that interesting," Steve said sarcastically.

"Oh you'd be surprised," Jack said. "The public loves this kind of stuff."

Steve looked at Jack. "You really expect me to let you write a series of articles about my life?" His eye narrowed. "What's really going on here, Jack?"

"Why would something be wrong? Can't I just want to do a nice story on my big brother?" Jack tried and failed miserably at trying to sound innocent.

"No, you can't." Steve was more convinced than ever that something was up. "You know me better than to think I'd go along with that idea, and I know you better than to think you just wanted to put me in the paper. So why don't you cut the crap and tell me what this is really all about."

Jack sighed and sat back down on the couch. "Okay. You got me. I need this story, Steve. I really need it. The Spectator's having some . . . um . . . . cash flow problems right now, and I need a big story to boost circulation and revenue."

"And you thought I could be that big story?" It was all making sense to Steve now.

"Well . . . with you and Marlena both coming back from the dead - so to speak - people are interested in what really happened and what it's like." Jack glanced at Steve. "So, I just thought -"

"You just thought you'd take advantage of your 'insider access'," Steve interrupted. "Have you talked to Marlena as well?"

"No . . . I figured I'd talk to you first and then . . ." Jack's voice trailed off.

"And then when I was on board, you'd use that to get Marlena to agree as well." Steve shook his head. Some things would never change.

"Something like that," Jack admitted.

Steve stood and walked around the small confines of the living room. He remembered a time when he would have done anything to help his baby brother. And a part of him wanted to help Jack now. But there was no way he was going to put his life out on public display. Not even for Jack.

Turning back to Jack, Steve said, "I'm sorry the paper is having problems, but I can't help you with this. My life isn't for public consumption."

Jack stood and nodded. "I figured you would say that." He smiled awkwardly. "You can't blame a guy for trying, right?"

"Right," Steve said, returning Jack's awkward smile. For some reason, Steve felt a little uneasy. In the back of his mind, Steve remembered his promise to keep his rescue secret. While Steve thought the promise was silly, because who would really care about the ISA raiding some compound in Egypt, he had still given his word. "Jack . . . trust me. Don't push this."

Jack's eyes narrowed, but then he smiled. "Of course. You say you don't want the story. Who am I to second-guess you? Well I better be going," Jack said, heading to the door. "That paper won't run itself." He opened the door then turned and looked at Steve. "I . . . I hope everything goes well for Kayla at the hearing." He paused. "If there is anything . . . just tell her good luck."

Steve nodded and watched as Jack left. After the door closed, he stared at it and shook his head. A part of him was happy that Jack had actually felt comfortable enough to ask Steve to do the article. But the rest of him could not believe Jack had ever thought Steve might agree.

Steve walked over and picked Stephanie up. "Come on, little Sweetness. Your mama should be home soon and we should be ready to go to the park." Stephanie smiled up at him and Steve felt the familiar flutter in his heart when his daughter flashed her smile. No matter what else was going on, that smile was a constant reminder of all that was good in his life. He and Kayla were going through a rough patch, but when he looked at Stephanie, he could not help but have hope for their future.


	144. Chapter 143

Shane pretended to take another glance at the resume. There was no need, but he was using the opportunity to study the man in the chair on the other side of his desk. Mike Adams was a wiry African-American man, of average height and build, dressed conservatively in dark slacks, a button-down shirt and sports jacket. Not exactly what most people would picture when asked to describe a bodyguard.

But Shane could tell Mike knew his job. Even if Shane did not know the man had worked for several years in the Secret Service, it was evident just in the way he studied the room around him. His looks were casual. To someone who did not know better, he would just seemed to be glancing around. However, Shane suspected if he asked Mike to name the third book from the left on the second shelf, he would give a correct answer.

"This isn't exactly like protecting major dignitaries," Shane said. "Andrew's only five."

Mike smiled slightly. "I'll bet he's tougher to contain than the Vice-President."

Shane had to laugh. "You must have met my son." Then he grew serious. He had already told Mike about the attacks on Andrew, but he wanted to make something clear. Shane stood up and walked over to the window. Outside, he could see Andrew playing in the garden under Simmons' watchful eye. "Andrew . . . and my daughter, Eve . . . They're the most important things in my life. No, that's an understatement. They're more important than my life." He glanced back at Mike. "Do you have kids?"

Mike shook his head. "No, sir."

"Then you can't really understand," Shane said. "I know they trained you in the Secret Service to take a bullet for your charge - and I know from experience what that takes." He thought back to that night on the pier in Stockholm and how he had taken a bullet meant for Gillian. "Human instinct is to get out of the way, but not when it comes to family. I'd do anything to protect my kids. I'd step in front of a hundred bullets to keep them safe."

Mike nodded his head solemnly. "I'll do whatever it takes, sir. Your son will be safe with me."

That was what Shane wanted to hear. "Good. Why don't we go outside and I can introduce you to Andrew?" He waited for Mike to stand and started for the door, but the phone rang. "Sorry," Shane said. "Can you just give me a minute?"

He waited for Mike to step outside and close the door, then answered. "Donovan here."

The voice of the director of the local ISA field office came over the line. "Captain, we have a bit of an issue."

Shane did not like the sound of that. "What's the issue?"

"Maurice Marchand's body was found in Green Oaks Forest this morning."

"What?" Shane tried to force himself to remain calm. Marchand was supposed to be under 24-hour surveillance. "How did that happen?"

The director hesitated. "We don't know exactly. All we know is that some campers found the body just off the turnpike."

Shane was dumbfounded. "Where was our surveillance team?"

"Right where they were supposed to be, sir," the director said. "We had the unit outside Marchand's office watching him until he left at 6:05 p.m. He was followed to the Sand Dollar, where he had dinner until 8:24 p.m. Then he returned to his home, where surveillance teams made video and audio contact until 10:48 p.m., which is when he went to sleep."

"And nobody saw or heard him leave the home?" Shane still could not believe the report. "We're not talking about an ISA agent trained to evade surveillance. Maurice Marchand is a bloody lawyer." How did a lawyer suddenly disappear from his home with a surveillance unit on his doorstep? _From right under our bloody noses._

The field director sounded apologetic. "I don't know, sir."

"I want a report summarizing every visitor and phone call Marchand had yesterday," Shane ordered. "Get full transcripts of all recordings from the wiretaps of the office and any audio we have from the home. Okay? There has to be something."

"Yes, sir." There was a pause on the other end of the phone. "I assume you would like to know about Marchand's contacts with Alamain. His last visit was three days ago."

_Plenty of time to arrange for a hit,_ Shane thought. "Anything on the recordings of Alamain's visitors?"

"That's the problem," the director said. "Alamain hasn't had any other visitors this week."

Shane sat back in his hair and ran his hands through his hair. He had been convinced that Lawrence was using Marchand to run his operation, but that hardly squared with killing the man. Did Lawrence know Marchand was under surveillance? Maybe Marchand outlived his usefulness. That might explain why, but it did not explain how Lawrence ordered the hit. And Shane was convinced that only Lawrence would make that call. He was not the type of man who delegated control on those kind of matters.

"Sir?" The director's voice interrupted Shane's train of thought. "Are you still there?"

"Yes," Shane answered. "Alamain must be using someone at the prison to carry his orders." That had to be it. Calls from the prison phones were recorded, so the ISA would have known the content of any calls Lawrence made himself. So the instructions had to be sent out through another prisoner or a prison guard. But who? And were they being sent by phone or through messenger.

Shane tried to ignore the thought that, if Lawrence could get out instructions on Marchand, he could do the same on Andrew. "Okay," he finally said. "Let's double-check our taps on the house and make sure we didn't miss anything. I don't care if it's the plumber coming to fix a toilet. Then let's check the LUDs on the prison phones and see if any of them match with any of the Alamain phones or any of his people." Shane thought through what he had read in the files on Alamain's operations. "Let's also put surveillance on the head of Alamain's charitable foundation." Shane tried not to let the irony of that comment get to him. And there was Lawrence's manservant. Shane asked, "What do we have on Ivan Marais?"

"He spends most of his time at the house, but we only watch him there."

"That's not good enough," Shane said. "Put him on 24-hour surveillance."

"But . . . the cost-"

Shane did not care. "Damn the bloody costs," he snapped. "We have to get out in front of this. Let's also send in some agents undercover at the prison. One guard and two inmates. No . . . three inmates. And tell them to be circumspect. Alamain's not a fool." _Not like Cal Winters_, Shane thought. Cal had been easy to trick. A couple of days with Johnny Corelli followed by a push from Shane, and Winters had jumped at the chance to take part in Johnny's "escape" plan. Lawrence would not be so easy. It would be much harder for a plant to get close to Lawrence. Still, a couple of undercover agents might be able to ferret out some rumors about prisoners or guards getting paid to carry information out of the prison.

He heard the director take a deep breath, before saying, "That's a lot of manpower. Should I assume that you will authorize the additional budget?"

"Yes, of course," Shane said. "Prepare emergency requisitions. I'll sign them when I'm in the office next. Is that it?" When the director said it was, Shane gave a final instruction before he hung up, "I want to know everything that happens with Alamain. And I mean everything."

Tarrington might object to the additional costs, but the ISA had already spent a fortune on its surveillance set-up. Besides, based on Steve's information and the reports from the ISA scientists, stopping Lawrence now had to be the ISA's highest priority. Shane would convince Tarrington to authorize the additional expenditures by pointing out the political and PR disaster the agency would face if budget issues prevented the ISA from stopping Lawrence Alamain's toxin from being releasing on American civilians. That would work if needed, but Shane did not particularly feel like putting the screws to his boss unless it became absolutely necessary.

Another thought popped into his head, and he dialed Roman's number at the police station. There was no immediate answer and the call went to a recording. "Roman, it's Shane. Listen, I need to meet with you . . . . I'm sure you heard about Maurice Marchand. I think we have some . . ." He paused to think of the right words. "Um . . . jurisdictional details to discuss, and I'd like to have that meeting in private. I'd appreciate you coming by the house later if you can. "

As he hung up the phone, Shane took a few deep breaths. They did not work. "Dammit," he spat, as he slammed a hand down on his desk. His son's life was at stake, and his men could not stop a prisoner from putting out a hit on someone already under surveillance.

For a moment, Shane debated walking out of his study and telling Mike Adams that his services were no longer needed - that Andrew would not be leaving the grounds until Lawrence had been stopped. But then he remembered Kim's plea from a few days earlier. _We can't have Andrew spending months or even years being kept away from anything public._ She was right. They could not keep Andrew a prisoner, even if that was the best way to keep him safe.

Shane sighed and headed for the door. He would take Mike to meet Andrew first, and then would tell Mike just how hard his job was going to be.


	145. Chapter 144

Kayla stared out the window as car sped through traffic toward the airport. She could hear Stephanie gurgling happily in her car seat. Kayla cast her eyes sideways at Steve. He appeared to be concentrating on the traffic, and she wondered if he felt as far away from her as she felt from him.

After she had returned home earlier that day, she and Steve had taken Stephanie to the park. They had smiled together as their daughter explored the sandbox, had taken turns pushing her on the swings, had talked about the beautiful weather, and had generally give the appearance of a perfect little family.

Yet Kayla knew things were far from perfect. She and Steve had always been able to talk about anything and everything. But now they were each afraid of saying something that would bring back the issues that had surfaced after Jeannie's birthday party.

Kayla sighed softly, wishing that she did not have to leave town. If it were not for her hearing the following day, she would have dropped Stephanie off at her parents and locked Steve and her in their apartment until they worked through his anger, her guilt, and everything else that stood between them.

Steve's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Are you nervous about the hearing tomorrow, Sweetness?"

"A little," Kayla replied. "I guess I'll just be glad when it's over."

Steve nodded, but said nothing more. Kayla turned back toward the window. Was it just a couple of days ago that the state licensing board hearing seemed like the only worry she had left? Now she was not sure it made the top five. It was not that she no longer worried about losing her license; she was worried. It was just that her concern about her license paled in comparison to what was going on - the attempts on Andrew's life and, of course, the gulf that had opened up in her marriage.

"Hey baby, I have an idea," Steve said, glancing at Kayla.

"What's that?" Kayla forced a small smile on her face.

"How about when we get to the airport, I grab a ticket for me and Little Sweetness, and we come with you to the capitol?"

Kayla looked at Steve in surprise. "You can't do that, Steve. You have your interview tomorrow."

"It's just a temporary warehouse job," Steve replied. "I'll talk to them when we get back and if it's not available I'll find something else."

Kayla knew what Steve as trying to do. He was still trying to put their fight behind them without dealing with the issues. Kayla knew that would not work. "I appreciate the thought. But you and Stephanie aren't packed for a trip."

"So what?" Steve clearly refused to give up. "It's only a couple of nights, and we have Stephanie's diaper bag. Anything else we need we can pick up in the capitol."

For a moment Kayla was tempted to say yes despite everything. Having Steve there, even with everything they needed to deal with, would be a comfort. Maybe if it were just the three of them again, with no family distractions, they could work through their issues.

"What do you say, baby?"

Kayla sighed. As much as she was tempted, this trip was not the time or the place to deal with the problems she and Steve were having.

"I really do appreciate that you want to come with me," Kayla said softly. "But I don't think it's a good idea right now."

Kayla watched as the smile left Steve's face. "It's not that I don't want you and Stephanie there with me," she said quickly, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. "But I'm going to be in meetings most of the day tomorrow anyway and -" She paused and looked at him. "I just think it's better this way."

"All right, Sweetness," Steve replied. "It was just an idea." He paused. "Not a very good one, I guess."

Kayla did not know what to say. She knew Steve was hurt by her rejection but she did not know how to explain it without a conversation that they had no time to have. They were already almost at the airport, and there was no way to go through all of their issues in the next few minutes.

They finished the drive in silence. When they reached the terminal, Steve pulled up to the curb and parked the car.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go park? Stephanie and I can wait at the gate with you."

"No," Kayla replied. She looked back at Stephanie, who was now sleeping soundly. "There's no reason to wake Stephanie up."

Steve nodded and got out of the car. Kayla got out as well and waited while Steve got her bag from the trunk. She quietly opened the back door, leaned in, and kissed Stephanie gently on the head. "Goodbye, baby girl," she said softly. "Mommy loves you." She kissed Stephanie again. "Be good for your Papa." Stephanie stirred slightly, but did not wake up. Kayla placed one more soft kiss on her head, withdrew from the car, and quietly closed the door.

She looked up at Steve, who handed over her bag. Their eyes met as their hands touched. Kayla felt the familiar surge of electricity that always came from his touch. She stared into his eye, wanting to tell him how much she wished things were different. She wanted to say how much she hated this distance between them.

Steve reached out and stroked her cheek. Kayla closed her eyes for a moment and reveled in his touch. She opened her eyes again to see Steve smiling gently.

"Good luck with the hearing, baby. Just remember that you did what you had to do. Hold your head up high."

"I will," Kayla said softly. Now that she was about to leave, she suddenly had so many things she wanted to say. Over the last year, she had learned that there were no guarantees in life and she did not want to leave him like this.

"Steve . . . I . . . I know that we have a lot of things we need to talk about and we're going to have to face up to them when I get back. But . . . I need to know that you know how much I love you. I don't want to leave without you knowing that."

"I know, baby," Steve said softly. "I love you, too. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't."

"Good," Steve said, leaning down to kiss her. The kiss was soft and tender, and they held it for a long moment, neither quite ready to say goodbye.

Finally, Kayla broke away. She leaned her forehead on Steve's chest and then pulled back. "I guess I better go," she said softly.

Steve nodded, but did not speak.

"I'll call you tonight after I get settled in at the hotel."

"Sounds good, Sweetness." Steve took a small step back. "Travel safe."

Kayla nodded and turned toward the terminal doors. Just before she reached the doors she turned back. Steve was still standing by the car watching her. She gave a small wave and then formed the familiar "I love you" sign with her hand. She saw Steve smile and return the sign.

Kayla held his eye for a moment, then took a deep breath and turned back towards the terminal. She reminded herself that she would only be gone for a couple of nights. Maybe the time apart would be good for them. Maybe it would give then both a chance to think about things and figure out how to work through the emotional upheaval caused by the nine months he was gone. _Yes_, Kayla thought to herself. _Things would be better when she returned. They just had to be._


	146. Chapter 145

Steve watched as Kayla walked toward the terminal. He could not help but smile when she turned and gave him the "I love you" sign. As he returned the sign, and watched her smile, turn and walk into the terminal, he also felt that, as much as they had struggled to communicate when she was deaf, it was nothing compared to the communications issues they were suddenly having now.

Sighing, Steve got back into the car. As he pulled the car away from the airport, he could feel his frustration growing. He was trying to get his life back and it seemed like every time he was almost there, something would send him crashing back down again. A couple steps forward and then a few steps back. The night before at Shane's had reminded him of how much he had missed, and he didn't know how to stop the anger that arose from that reminder. The rational part of his brain told him that it was not Kayla's fault and he hated that his continued anger caused her to feel so guilty.

All he wanted was to put the past behind him - behind them. But it was damn hard to do when it always seemed to be staring him in the face. Maybe what happened was not Shane's fault, but his ongoing involvement in Kayla's and Stephanie's life was nothing more than a constant reminder of everything Steve wanted to put behind him.

He knew he was getting riled up again, so he tried the breathing technique he had learned from Kim. _Guess that only works for flashbacks_, he decided, after it had no effect.

What particularly angered him was that this entire conflict had happened after he had finally been able to open up to Kayla about what had happened to him. For a brief moment, it had felt like the invisible wall between them had finally been breached. Now, it felt as strong as ever. It was like those nine months he had been gone had created a gulf between Kayla and him that they could only temporarily bridge.

Nine months. Nine months of hell he had endured while his family moved on without him. Nine months of being reduced to nothing more than Alamain's lab rat. And he knew there were still details that he had yet to face. Forcing himself to tell Kim about the Egypt stuff had been a good start - one of those steps forward - but there were things he knew were still out there. It was like there was a blank spot in his memories. There were the things he remembered, which were clear. But there were hazy bits, almost like they were fogged over.

He could see that fog right now. In that room in Egypt. They were pulling the mask off him and a white-coated man came in carrying something. In his left hand was a cup. Steve remembered that; it was the cup they had used for the garbage they forced him to drink. But the man also had something in his right hand. What was it? That was cloudy.

A loud horn forced Steve back aware. He swerved his car to avoid drifting across the median into head-on traffic. _Damn, that was close_. It was hard to keep his mind in the present and the past at the same time.

_You need to remember_, he told himself. He checked the traffic to his right, and pulled the car over one lane and then onto the shoulder of the highway. _You need to remember_.

He tried to focus back on the man with the white coat and what he held in his hands. He pictured the man, the white coat, the cup in his left hand . . . . Then he tried to focus on the fuzzy object in the other hand. It was bigger than the cup, but not so big that it seemed awkward for the man to hold. Steve focused harder, tried to drive the fog out of his mind, and studied the man's hand.

A bottle. That's what it was. No, not just any bottle - a wine bottle.

Now it was coming in more clearly. Steve could see the bottle. It was dark, not just because of the blood-red liquid inside. There was a label on the outside and Steve tried to picture it. White, with a green border and something purple in the middle - but that stayed fuzzy.

It did not matter. The wine bottle. Steve knew it was important. That's how they transport the stuff. It was perfect. Who would inspect a bottle of wine for a virus or a poison?

Something else popped into Steve's head. Kim had mentioned wine. Fancy wine from his big wine cellar. She had been talking about Alamain's house, and where better to keep things close than at home.

Steve put the car back in gear and roared down the highway. He took the first exit, pulled into a gas station, and found the pay phone. A minute later, he was talking to Caroline and asking her if she could watch Stephanie for a couple of hours while Steve took care of some urgent business. "Of course," she said.

As Steve hung up the phone, he thought about calling in reinforcements. A tiny voice in the back of his head said he should call Shane, but Steve silenced the thought. This was Steve's business. He had already given Mr. ISA far too much.

Then there was Bo. They had agreed to work together to bring down Alamain. Steve knew he should call Bo, but he hesitated. This was a one-man job. He could fill Bo in on the details after he had done his reconnaissance. Steve set the phone down and headed back for the car.

Forty-five minutes later, Stephanie was at Caroline's and Steve had returned to the house. He donned a pair of black jeans, a black t-shirt, and his leather jacket. He gathered a few things he could use on his mission, loaded them into a small bag, and, after hesitating, grabbed his old gun and shoulder holster. Better safe than sorry.

Once it was dark, he returned to his car and headed to Alamain's house. Steve made two passes in front of the house. The first time, he took in the gated driveway and the eight-foot wall that surrounded the place. The second time, he drove more slowly and studied the house visible through the gates. It was set back a ways, but he could see the front door with a long oblong glass pane in the middle.

He could break the glass easily and open the door, but Alamain would have security in front. No, better to try the back. He drove around the block again, until he was convinced he had reached the back of Alamain's estate. The wall looked the same on this side.

As he climbed out of the car, Steve studied the street he was on. It looked pretty deserted, with a couple of dark houses and a few cars and a van parked down the block. _Good. Nobody will spot me. _

He was over the wall in a instant. In his black clothes, he melted into the darkness, his cover also helped by a row of trees that Alamain or a prior owner must have planted for privacy. In this case, privacy worked both ways.

The tree-line was about 200 feet from the back of the house, and Steve saw no security. But he was not taking chances. From his hiding place, Steve reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of binoculars. He took a few minutes to examine the house, studying the rooms where lights were on and looking for movement inside or out. Everything seemed very quiet.

_I guess it's not that surprising when the owner is serving a prison sentence for rape_. The house probably only needed a skeleton crew.

A sound to Steve's left caused him to freeze. Two security guards came into view only about 20 feet away. Steve forced himself to remain motionless, even as he held the binoculars five inches from his face. Any movement might alert the guards.

The two men were obviously not doing their jobs very well, because they walked right by Steve without hesitating. The Bears were playing Tampa Bay that weekend, so an intruder was beyond notice.

Steve waited as the two guards continued their slow walk around the perimeter and slipped out of view behind a garden shed. Once they were out of sight, Steve turned his attention back to the house. After a few minutes of study, he made his call.

He could have climbed a trellis to an upstairs room, but he decided against it. He would be exposed for too long and the guards might return. He also had no way of telling until he reached the upstairs patio if the windows were wired to the alarm system he knew had to be operational. Plus, going in through the upstairs meant he had a longer route to the wine cellar.

Instead, Steve would go in through a set of French doors that opened into the yard. They would probably be easier to unlock and it would give Steve time to check out and deactivate the alarm. In the back of his mind, that little voice returned. It reminded him that this would probably be easier if he got Shane and the ISA involved.

_Stop it_, he told himself. _This is between you and Alamain. The last person you need is Donovan_.

With that, Steve took a deep breath._ Here goes nothing_, he thought, as he broke away from his hiding place and sprinted toward the house. It was time to get the goods on Lawrence Alamain, and nothing was going to stop Steve until he found exactly what he was looking for.


	147. Chapter 146

I just wanted to take a quick moment to address a recent comment. A reader expressed some concern that the story feels out-of-balance, with more emphasis on Steve/Kayla than on Shane/Kim. That certainly is not the intent of the story. The goal is to provide overall balance between the characters, recognizing that there will be periods of the story that are more dominated by certain issues and characters than others.

Right now, the story is still dealing with the aftermath of the Shane/Kayla relationship and the lingering conflict between Shane and Steve. It is true that Shane and Kim have not yet come back together as a couple, but they still have a long road to travel. Shane and Kim are now living in the same house and are dealing with the threat to Andrew, so they will have more direct interaction and begin to confront their lingering issues. But there will be some forward steps followed by some steps back and some significant crises before their issues are resolved. It did not feel right to rush Shane and Kim to a reconciliation given their history.

This also is a long story. Chapter 145 was just posted here and that is little more than half the draft that has been written so far. On another site, the story has been posted through chapter 225, and a Steve and Kayla fan just commented that she felt the story was too dominated by Shane, Kim, and Steve, with Kayla being relegated to a supporting character.

So I hope anyone who feels that Shane and Kim have not yet gotten their due will give the story more chance to develop.

P

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"So what do you think?" Shane stared across his desk after he finished going over his theories on Maurice Marchand's death.

On the other side of the desk, Roman pursed his lips. He and Marlena had arrived about 30 minutes earlier, and Shane had dragged Roman to the study while Marlena and Kim talked in the library. Now that Shane had set forth what he knew of Marchand's murder, he waited for Roman's response. After a few minutes of silence, Roman shrugged.

"It's possible, but I don't know, partner. Why would Larry kill his own lawyer?"

"Who knows why Alamain does anything," Shane said, leaning back in his chair.

"And you had an ISA team on Marchand?" Roman's disbelief was evident. "How did-"

"How did they lose him?" Shane shook his head. He had asked himself that same question over and over. "I don't know. After the last few intelligence disasters, sometimes I wonder how we catch anyone."

"When you're running the ISA, you'll straighten things out." Roman chuckled. At Shane's look, Roman added, "Hey, Tarrington's got to retire at some point - and you are the number two guy at the ISA."

"Can we discuss my future career plans another time?" Shane said. "This is serious, Roman."

Any sign of amusement disappeared from Roman's face. "I know it is. After the other day . . . with the school, you've got a lot on your mind. I shouldn't be making jokes." He paused. "Do you think Lawrence was afraid Marchand might talk? After all, shooting at kids might be even farther than a snake like Marchand would go."

Shane stood up from his chair and began to pace. "The thought did occur to me, but something doesn't add up. I was sure that Marchand was the conduit for Alamain's orders. He met regularly with Marchand."

"He was Larry's lawyer," Roman pointed out.

"I know, but that was the only time Alamain could be sure he wasn't being bugged." Shane looked out the window and spotted Andrew playing in the garden under Mike Adams' watchful eyes. "But Alamain obviously has other ways of getting his directions out. That's obvious. He had to have a way to give the order on the Marchand hit."

"Assuming the order came from Larry."

"It did," Shane said. "I'm sure of it."

"So he has another prisoner making calls for him?" Roman understood what Shane was thinking. "Or a hack?"

"That's the likely explanation. I've got agents going over every call out of the prison and. . . ." Shane hesitated, but decided he could share his information with Roman. There was nobody he trusted more. "And we're sending in several undercover agents, a couple as prisoners and one as a guard."

"Whoa, you're pulling out all the stops." The Roman paused and his eyes narrowed. "I know you'd do anything to protect Andrew, but the ISA isn't going to put this much money into one investigation over threats to an agent's family. Trust me, I know the score on that front. There's something you're not telling me."

Roman always was a top detective, Shane thought. "Have I mentioned recently that you're wasting your time with the Salem PD? We could really use you back in the ISA." Shane was only half-joking, but then he grew completely serious. "You're right. There's more to it. And I'm telling you this only because I think whatever Alamain's planning is going to happen in Salem. But-"

"But I can't tell anyone." Roman nodded. "I think I heard this a few months ago. You got it. Go ahead."

Shane took a deep breath and then told Roman about the suspected neurotoxin and what it could do, though Shane deliberately kept Steve's name out of it. Steve had disclosed things to Kim for the ISA's ears only; it was up to him to decide if he was going to tell anyone else close to home. After Shane finished explaining the scientists' suspicions, he said, "Alamain wants to sell this thing, but he's going to have to show it works first."

"Larry's not exactly the subtle type." Roman frowned. "Do you think he might try to finish off what he started in Alamania?"

"It's possible." But then, Shane thought, there were a lot of possibilities. "Or maybe he'll do something against Salem in general. Half the town hates him, and it was a Salem court that sent Alamain to prison."

"Yeah, but that's because of Kimmie," Roman said.

"True, but Alamain doesn't know that. We never told him that Kim bugged him with those cufflinks. He still thinks I was responsible."

"Lucky you." Roman said. "How's your supply of anti-venom?"

"Not very funny," Shane replied.

Roman nodded. "I know. This kind of stuff never is. . . . But it comes with the job. Do you think we should warn Bo and Carly? Or Steve for that matter?"

"I don't know," Shane said. "I'd hate rumors to get started and send people into a panic. I mean, it's not just Bo, Carly, and Steve. Wouldn't we have to warn Jack and Jennifer? And Julie and Alice were also in Alamania. That's a lot of people who'd have to keep a secret."

"I don't know. . . ." Roman's voice trailed off and he fell silent for a moment before he said, "But it's the ISA's secret, and you didn't have to tell me in the first place."

Shane gave Roman an appreciative nod. "Thanks. I'll keep you up to speed on anything we find out that involves Salem."

There was another silence as Roman glanced around the study. "So . . . not to change the subject or anything, but how are things going here? Everything okay with you and Kimmie?"

It was Shane's turn to shrug. "It's been okay . . . a bit awkward at times, but you already knew that from last night." After Shane had left the birthday party the night before, Roman had tracked him down and tried to convince him to come back.

Roman raised an eyebrow. "That was Pop's fault, not Kimmie's. You didn't see her, partner. She was upset about it."

"She wasn't the only one," Shane muttered. "I went another round with Steve, too. Sometimes, Roman . . . sometimes, I think my life would have been a lot easier if I'd just let you handle the prism case and never came here."

Roman looked down, and Shane felt like a complete idiot. Roman was probably thinking about how he had "died" at Stefano's hands. That had been Shane's fault. Roman was never supposed to land on the island and confront Stefano. Shane was supposed to do that, but he had been caught by Petrov on the other island and had barely escaped himself.

"I'm sorry," Shane said. "I shouldn't have said that. It's just that sometimes all these attachments are a bit overwhelming."

"Attachments?" Roman looked up with an amused expression. "You mean falling in love with my sister, having a great kid, and becoming part of a family? Those kind of 'attachments'? Come on, Shane. . . . You can deny it all you want, pal, but you and Kimmie still love each other. It was plain as day on her face and, if you could just set aside that wounded pride of yours-"

"Wounded pride?" Shane's voice began to rise. "That's what you think destroyed our marriage?"

"I didn't say that," Roman said calmly. "But that's what's keeping you from seeing what's right in front of you. You and Kimmie had something rare and, if you'd let yourself get over what happened, you'd realize you could get it back and you're wasting time."

Shane looked away. _If only it were that easy. _He was about to respond, but the phone rang. "Hang on," he said, as he picked up the receiver. "Donovan."

The voice on the other end was the director of the local field office. "Captain, we may have a problem."

_That's not a good way to start a call. _"Tell me what's going on," Shane said. "Wait . . . hold on a second." He glanced at Roman, who got the message.

"I'll go find Marlena," Roman said, his voice just a whisper. "But you'd better remember what I said."

Shane watched Roman leave the study, steeled himself for bad news, and then spoke back into the phone. "Okay, go ahead."

"Our surveillance team spotted a man climb the back wall of the Alamain estate and break into the house." There was a long pause, which told Shane there was more to the story. "From the camera images, we're pretty sure it's Steve Johnson."

_You've got to be kidding me._ Shane fought not to say that aloud. _What the hell is Steve thinking? _It the break-in was found out, Lawrence's people would sweep the house and almost certainly find the hidden cameras and bugs. _Dammit. This is just the type of Lone Ranger theatrics we don't need._

"Captain? Do you have any orders?"

Shane thought quickly. "Was he spotted by anyone other than our team?"

"We don't think so," the director answered. "Our men were in the van and they saw nobody else on the street when Johnson climbed the wall. And it looks like he evaded the perimeter security."

"What about the house alarms?" Shane asked. The ISA had tapped into the monitoring system so it would know if anyone triggered any of Lawrence's security devices.

"So far, there's no indication he triggered anything. He probably deactivated the external alarm. But he just entered. We were monitoring the situation and I called you as soon as he got to the back doors."

Shane had a very bad feeling about this. Lawrence's house was wired top-to-bottom with one of the most complex alarm systems Shane had ever seen. Getting past the alarms on the doors and windows was the easy part. After Shane had snuck into the upstairs to save Kim from Lawrence's henchman, Gregory, all sorts of additional security had been added.

Steve could be walking into a trap, but sending agents into the house would be just as bad as if Steve were caught. Probably worse. There was the chance that, if he was caught, Lawrence's people would dismiss it as just Steve doing something on his own and would not bother to look further. _But that's probably wishful thinking. _

At the same time, Shane was not prepared to throw away all the ISA's work, especially when so much was riding on their figuring out Lawrence's plan.

For the moment, Shane decided, he would give Steve a chance to figure out that he was in over his head and leave on his own. _Yeah, right_, he told himself. But that was probably the best thing he could do for the moment. He took a deep breath and prayed he was making the right call before he spoke again.

"Tell the surveillance team to stay in place and monitor the situation. Are you getting a live feed at the office?" When the director said he was, Shane continued. "Okay . . . I'll be there in five minutes. I have the phone in the car, so you can keep me updated." Shane was about to hang up, but he had another thought. "Get an extract team stationed by Alamain's. Let's use the fire team and have them ready to go if we need them."

Hanging up the phone, Shane grabbed his jacket and headed out of the study. On his way out, he ran into Roman. "Sorry, but we're going to have to continue our talk another time. Oh, and if you hear anything about the fire department at Alamain's . . . try not to ask any questions." Shane did not say another word, but raced for the front door and out of the house to his car. By the time Shane was pulling away from the house and listening to the field director's latest reports, his blood was boiling. All that ISA work was likely down the drain because of this stupid stunt. And what did Steve possibly think he was going to achieve?

Shane shook his head angrily as he sped through the streets toward the ISA offices. If Steve torpedoed this investigation, there would be hell to pay.

_And I'm going to be the one collecting._


	148. Chapter 147

"San Cristobal?" Kim asked. "Why there?"

"Because that's where I was, Kim," Marlena said. "Because that's where they took me. Roman thinks we should go check it out and see if we can find any clues."

Kim felt uneasy at the breezy way Marlena was speaking. "Why not ask Shane to get the ISA to look into it? You were kidnapped, for god's sake. You have no idea what they might do if they catch you again."

"But I'll have Roman with me." Marlena smiled. "We both know it's dangerous, but we'll be careful." She stood up from the couch and walked over to the tea set to refill her cup. With her back to Kim, Marlena said, "This is something I just have to do. We can spend months trying to recover my memories through hypnosis, but I'm positive it will come back if we go to San Cristobal."

Kim knew better than to argue with Marlena. When her mind was made up, she could be just as stubborn as any of the Bradys. "So when will you go?"

Marlena shook her head. "I don't know yet. A week, maybe a little later. It depends when Roman can get away for a few days. I doubt we'll be gone long."

Kim hesitated for a minute, then asked, "What about Isabella?"

"It's hard," Marlena said. "'Awkward' may be the best word. Roman's confused, but he knows his place is with me."

"'Awkward' seems to be a running theme these days in Salem," Kim muttered.

Marlena chuckled slightly, turned and carried her cup back to the sofa, where she took a seat. "Now that I've told you about my plans, it's your turn."

"What do you mean?" Kim was confused. "I don't have plans."

"Okay, maybe 'plans' is not the right word, but you haven't told me what happened between you and Shane." Marlena gave Kim a sympathetic look. "Maybe it would help to talk about it."

Kim looked down to hide the fact that she was rolling her eyes. How many times had she gone over what happened with Shane in her head? She doubted telling the whole sordid mess to Marlena would help. But Kim also knew that Marlena would push. _Might as well get it over with now._

Taking a sip of her tea, Kim looked up. "So what do you want to know?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened? Start from the beginning."

Kim fiddled with her tea cup. The beginning. What was the beginning really? She and Shane had issues during most of their relationship. There was her pregnancy and the uncertainty about whether Shane or Victor was Andrew's father, Andrew's kidnapping, Emma's murder, Gillian's attempt to kill Kim, Eve's arrival, Gabrielle turning out to be Eve's mother. . . . the loss of their little girl. Kim looked down. Even thinking about the last one was still hard. And, yet, it was just one in a long line of things they had to overcome.

The thought reminded her of that night at Donovan Manor when Shane had come home drunk. He had mentioned so many of those events and she had reminded herself of how things always seemed stacked against them. _What's the blasted point of it all_? Shane's words echoed in her head.

"Kim?" Marlena was watching her carefully.

"I'm sorry," Kim said. "It's just hard to figure out where to start. But I guess, really, after we renewed our vows, things were pretty good between us. Then Shane got this assignment. He didn't tell me what it was, but I could tell it was big, that it was dangerous. I could always tell by the way he pulled away from me before he left and how tense he'd get."

"I think I know what you mean." Marlena sighed. "Roman sometimes gets that way too."

Kim nodded. "I'm not really sure how far Shane got into the mission before he was caught. You see . . . he didn't realize that the man behind the plot he was investigating was an old friend that Shane knew through the ISA. Alfred Jericho." She spat his name out bitterly. "He held Shane captive for months and the ISA covered it up. They even faked phone calls from Shane so I'd think he was okay."

"And then something happened and you thought Shane was killed?" Marlena asked the question quietly, yet in a probing manner that was familiar to Kim. She used the same manner during her sessions with clients.

"Not exactly." Kim hesitated, as a flood of guilt wash over her. This was what she still did not really understand. "See . . . even before the explosion . . . there was Cal." The bitter tone returned. "Cal Winters. I assume Roman told you about Diana?" When Marlena nodded, Kim explained. "Cal had been a POW in Cambodia and was obsessed with Diana when he came to Salem. Well . . . I started to treat Cal and we became friends. He seemed so nice, and he was great with Andrew with Shane gone for so long on what I thought was his mission." _How could I be duped like that_? Kim asked herself. _How could I have been so stupid_?

"So Cal set things in motion even while you thought Shane was alive?" Marlena asked.

Kim realized her hands were shaking, so she set the cup down on the table before it spilled. "I was an idiot," she muttered. "And then Shane died - at least that's what everyone said. Steve and Kayla saw the explosion. They saw Shane fighting with Jericho on top of a cliff and then the entire mountain exploded." Kim tried to steady her hands. "There was no sign of him, but I saw it. . . . The entire mountain had collapsed. There was no way he could've survived."

Marlena reached over and squeezed Kim's hands. "I can imagine what it felt like. I remember when I heard Roman died on that island. On the one hand, I wanted to curl up and die. And on the other, I had the children to take care of. And I was so . . . so angry - at Bo for leaving Roman's body . . . at Shane for breaking his promise to send Roman home, and at Roman." She let out a sickly laugh. "I was mad at Roman for dying."

Kim understood exactly what Marlena was describing, but she had never let out that anger. She had vacillated between the pain of losing Shane and the numbness that overtook her as she moved on for Andrew and Eve's sake. Kim stood up and walked over to the window. "When Shane died, I felt like I'd lost everything. You'd been on your own before you met Roman. What was my life before Shane? I'd been a whore - a high-priced one, but still a whore."

She turned back and looked at Marlena, whose expression was a mix of sympathy and confusion.

"You don't have to look at me like that," Kim said. "I've accepted my past and I don't make excuses for it. It happened and I have to live with it." She looked again into the garden and saw Andrew with his new bodyguard and the irony hit her that life as a prostitute had been a lot less complex than it seemed now.

"Kim . . . I didn't mean to offend you." Marlena's voice was tinged with concern.

Kim nodded. "I know. It's just that I mention my past because I'd never really lived without men in my life. Ever since I was a child, I'd look to men to validate who I was." Turning again, Kim walked back to the sofa.

"You mean your father?" Marlena asked.

"Yes, in a way. I was his 'best and his brightest,' and that was a lot to live up to." Kim sighed. "Oh, maybe I'm just using my past as an excuse. All I was getting at is that, when I thought Shane had died, I'd never really been on my own. Suddenly, I was, and with two children - and Eve . . . you never met Shane's daughter, but she was more than a handful. . . ."

Marlena seemed to understand. "So you turned to Cal?"

"Yes . . . He was such a support when I needed someone, and everyone began to tell me that I needed to move on with my life." The guilt returned. "For the first week or two after Steve and Kayla told me about the explosion, I didn't believe it. I was sure that Shane was still alive. I told myself I'd have felt it if he were dead. We'd always had a connection like that. When Shane was shot in Stockholm and nearly died, I felt it, and I felt something around the time of the explosion; I just didn't feel like he was dead."

"But you moved on anyway," Marlena said, finishing Kim's thought. From her expression, Kim wondered if Marlena was thinking about Richard Cates, the man she first turned to after Roman, but who turned out to be almost as bad as Cal. Of course, it was months after Roman's "death" before Marlena began her relationship. "There's nothing wrong with that. You shouldn't feel guilty."

"Shouldn't I?" Kim asked, bitterly. "I let Cal take me to bed - in this house - only two months after Shane had died." She cringed inwardly at the memory, as she thought of the moment where she had let Cal remove her wedding and engagement rings. _How could I have let him do that_? She sighed again. "Looking back, I know why . . . I was afraid to be alone; I'd never lived without a man in my life and that's really the only way I felt like I was worth anything. But I can't blame Shane from wondering if I really loved him. How could I if I could move on so fast?"

"I'd give Shane more credit than that." Marlena smiled softly. "You went through a lot to be together. I can't believe Shane would ever doubt your love."

_You're wrong about that_, Kim thought. "You weren't here when he came back. Or I should say when he found his way back. He had no memory of who he was, but he had dreams about me and about this house . . . and what did he find when he got here?" Kim laughed slightly, but to her ears it sounded weak. "Me - in bed with Cal. Cal . . . who, it turned out, had been working with Jericho and had been at the mountain during the explosion. Cal, the psychopath who kidnapped me and tried to kill Shane. That's who I'd turned to."

Marlena frowned. "That was probably a lot for Shane to take in."

"That's probably the understatement of the century," Kim said. "For a moment, when Shane recovered his memory and he saved me from Cal, everything seemed like it was perfect. That was in March. . . . And then I found I was pregnant with Jeannie." Kim felt tears forming in her eyes. "She was Cal's, but how I could tell that to Shane? Not only had Cal taken his place, but now I was pregnant with Cal's little girl - the little girl Shane had always wanted. I was so scared, Marlena. I know it was stupid to try to hide it, but I didn't know how to tell him, and. . . ." She hated even the thought of what she said next. "So I lied. First, I lied about being pregnant altogether, and, then, I let Shane think he was the father."

"Oh, Kim. . . ."

"I know. I know. It was the worst thing I could've done." Her tone was matched by the bitter ache that Kim felt in her chest. "I can't really blame Shane for hating me when he found out. But he turned so cold, Marlena. I couldn't reach him at all. It was like sharing a house with a stranger. And then Cal found out about the baby, and threatened to seek visitation when he got out of jail. Shane couldn't live with that; I couldn't put him through that kind of pain. Even after he fixed it so Cal would be sent to Alaska, it still felt like I didn't have any options, so I left. . . ."

Ran away, really, was the honest way of putting it. The room fell silent for a long moment, as Kim thought about how she had slipped away from Steve and Kayla's wedding, and how she had planned on disappearing and leaving only a note behind. Wasn't that just like her? She had been afraid to be honest and up-front with Shane. But he had figured out that she was up to something, and it had led to one last confrontation.

With a rueful shake of her head, Kim sighed. "The rest, I think you know. I came back and found Shane with Kayla. I couldn't really blame them for moving on. . . . Not after what they'd both been through. . . ."

"But you still love Shane," Marlena said, pointing out the obvious.

The tears were coming back, and Kim tried unsuccessfully to fight them. "Oh, God, Marlena, I love him so much and I know he still loves me. . . ." She swallowed hard, even as she began to sob. "I just hurt him so much, and. . . ."

Before Kim realized it, Marlena was standing next to her and pulling her into a hug. Kim tried to stop herself from completely losing it, but she failed. She cried wordlessly on Marlena's shoulder until the tears ran out. When she finally was able to stop sobbing, Kim looked up and saw that Marlena was looking at the door. For an instant, Kim panicked, fearing that Shane had come back and witnessed the scene, but when she looked at the door, she only saw her brother, who shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. Kim quickly pulled away from Marlena and wiped the last remnants of her tears from her cheeks.

"Sorry," she said. "I . . . I don't know what came over me."

Roman gave her a crooked smile as he walked into the room. He gave Marlena a quick glance, and she stepped away, so Roman could take her place next to Kim. Roman pulled her into another embrace, which threatened to start the tears flowing again. As Kim closed her eyes and pressed her head against his shoulder, he whispered. "Don't be sorry, Sis. Don't ever be sorry."

"Roman's right," Marlena said. "You made mistakes, Kim, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy again. We're going to do everything to help you."

"Yeah," Roman echoed. "No matter what it takes, we're going to make sure that pig-headed Englishman figures out just how stupid he's being." He let Kim pull away and she saw his smile as he looked down at her. "Look at what Marlena and I've gotten back. Anything's possible, Kimmie."

Kim leaned back into Roman's embrace and closed her eyes tightly. _If only it were that easy_, she thought. _If only it were that easy to get things back._


	149. Chapter 148

Bypassing the alarm on the doors took a few minutes. The wiring was almost invisible to a human eye, but Steve knew what he was looking for. Very carefully, so as not to jar the wire and trigger the alarm, Steve maneuvered the wire so he could cut through it. _There_. _That was easy enough. _Then he turned his attention to picking the lock on the French doors.

Steve thought about how, in Italy, he had let Shane take care of the locks in Ernesto's hideout. _Donovan may be good, but I'm not a slouch in the lock-picking department_. Steve proved that to himself by getting the door unlocked in less than a minute.

Slipping inside, Steve found himself in a dark living room. It dawned on him that he had no clue how to find the wine cellar. He should have asked Kim, but then he reminded himself that, if he had asked her, she would have told Shane. _Guess I'll just have to find it on my own._

He pulled a flashlight out of his bag and began to look around. He wandered around for a few minutes, orienting himself to the house. Spotting a few cameras on the walls, Steve made a point to stay out of view. He had no idea if Alamain had anyone monitoring the cameras, but the safest bet was to assume someone was watching. Steve also knew there might be other devices like motion sensors, but there was little chance of spotting those in advance, so he would just have to take his chances.

Creeping slowly through the house, Steve found the dining room and the kitchen. It made sense that the stairs to the basement would be close by, but every door he opened was to a closet or pantry.

_Unless . . ._

That had to be it. If Alamain was hiding important research in his wine cellar, it would not be easy to find. So where would it be? Steve began checking the walls, looking for anything that looked out of place.

Nothing in the kitchen or dining room, so he went back to the living room. He ran the light from the flashlight along the walls, but spotted nothing that would indicate a hidden door. As he started to head for the hallway off the living room, a noise caught his attention. Steve snapped the flashlight off and ducked behind a couch.

The overhead lights flicked on just as he crouched down. _Damn, that was too close for comfort_, he thought. Then he heard voices.

"Yes, Mr. Marais, where would you like me to set up for tomorrow?" said an unseen woman.

"Just anywhere in the salon. It hardly matters, Madeleine." That came from a man with a slightly clipped, European accent from the direction of the hallway .

Steve tried to crouch even lower to the ground as he heard the woman moving about. If he had to guess, she was only about five feet away.

"I'll put the drinks here, sir," she said from almost on top of Steve's hiding place.

"Fine," came the disinterested response.

After a few more minutes, the light clicked off and Steve was once again in the dark. He took a minute to collect himself and then began his search anew. He headed for the hallway where he had heard the man's voice. If that was where the orders were coming from, it was Steve's best bet.

He walked carefully, trying to keep any sound to a minimum. There was a stream of light sliding under the first door, so Steve took a moment to listen. The man from before was now on the phone, placing some kind of order. Steve suspected that whatever he was searching for was inside that room, but he could hardly enter when it was occupied.

Moving on, he heard and saw nothing at the second door. He opened it slightly and realized it was a small bedroom. _I could wait here until whoever is next door leaves_, he thought. If that was where the head honcho worked, it made sense to wait. Of course, Steve hated waiting and knew that remaining in one room increased his odds of being found out. Still, the odds of being caught were plenty good if he wandered aimlessly through the house.

_So I wait_, Steve decided.

He checked his watch and was surprised to see that he had already been in the house for 20 minutes. He had no idea how long it would take the man - 'Mar-ay' or whatever his name was - to leave. But it was after 8 p.m., so the man probably would leave soon.

Steve parked himself by the wall dividing the two rooms and tried to listen to the man. It was no use. The wall was too thick to make out any words; all Steve could hear was the low rumble of the man's voice.

Another 15 minutes passed. Then another 15. Steve began to feel twitchy. He checked his watch. Now it was past 9 p.m.

"Come on . . . come on," Steve muttered under his breath. He was starting to get stiff from standing so still.

Finally, after another half-hour, Steve heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps in the hallway. He slid over to the door and listened as the sounds became fainter. After another few minutes, Steve opened the bedroom door and looked down the hall. There was no sign of anyone.

_Okay_, he thought. He moved to the door where the other man had been and found it locked. _This has got to be it_, he thought, as he pulled his lockpicks out again and tried to get the door open. It was a little harder this time, because the hallway was almost completely dark and Steve did not want to risk using the flashlight, but he grinned as he heard the click of the door opening. He doubted Donovan could have done any better.

Once inside, Steve pulled the flashlight out again and began sweeping the room. The walls were lined with bookcases and, in the center, was a desk. Steve saw nothing that indicated there might be a passageway. He began running his hands over the bookshelf, looking for some sign of a secret opening.

His frustration began to grow. Steve knew there was something here. He just knew it. He began pulling books off the shelf, but saw nothing that looked like a trigger for a door, and as he knocked against the backs of the shelves, he heard nothing to indicate an opening behind them..

"There's gotta be a door here," he said aloud. "Where the hell is it?" He continued knocking at the shelves.

Suddenly, he heard a noise from the opposite wall and spun around. One of the bookshelves had turned sideways, exposing a dark hole in the wall. _How'd I do that_? Steve had no idea, but he did not care. However it happened, he had triggered the secret door.

Steve shone his flashlight through the opening and saw a staircase leading down. Without hesitating, he raced down the stairs, stopping only when he heard a noise behind him. He looked back to see that the wall had closed. _I just hope it opens again_, he thought, but he set the thought aside and continued down.

Eventually, he found himself in the basement and in another corridor. To his left, he saw a couple of doorways. To his right . . . .

_Paydirt._

A wall of glass separated him from shelf after shelf of wine bottles. Steve grinned. All he had to do was find the right bottle - with a white label with a green border and something purple in the middle. As he stared at what must have been a few thousand bottles, Steve shrugged. _How hard could it be_?


	150. Chapter 149

Shane reached the field office within ten minutes of the director's call. Racing inside, he received a quick update as he headed to the back rooms that housed the Alamain task force. Steve had made his way inside the mansion, had entered the kitchen, dining room, and living room, and was now hiding behind a sofa only a few feet away from Ivan Marais and a maid.

"Can we get a live feed in here?" Shane asked as he entered the control room. Several monitors on the wall lit up almost immediately. Each showed a different room in the Alamain mansion. The center monitor - the largest on the wall - remained momentarily blank, while the field director issued some instructions. Then it came to life, showing a video image of the living room. On the screen, only Marais and the maid were visible.

Shane studied the room. There were several sofas. "Where's Steve?"

The director motioned to another agent, and the camera angle tilted slightly. Now Shane could see the gap between a wall and a sofa, and Steve crouched behind it. Marais had left the room, but Steve was only a few feet away from the maid, who was setting up some cups and dishes on a nearby coffee table. All she had to do was look over the sofa and she would spot Steve.

"What do you want to do?" the director asked. "The extract team is set."

Shane was about to give the order to send the team into the house when the maid turned away from the coffee table and headed for the door. A minute later, the light flicked off.

"Switch to infrared," said the director. Almost as soon as he spoke, the image changed and Shane could see a white figure - Steve - moving about in the room.

"He's moving to the control corridor," said the camera technician, pointing to a side monitor. A moment later, that image replaced the living room on the main screen. The 'control corridor' was the term Shane's team used for the area that seemed to house Alamain's and Marais' offices, though Marais now spent most of his time in Alamain's. The hallway also housed the mansion's security center and all of the electronic controls - controls that the ISA had tapped and could operate remotely.

On the screen, Shane saw Steve approaching a door with a light. "Is that Alamain's office?" When the director nodded, Shane ordered, "Put that onscreen." Once it appeared, Shane's breath caught in his throat. Marais was inside, talking on the phone. All of a sudden, he stopped and lowered the phone as if he had heard something.

Again, Shane started to order the extract team into motion, but he stopped when Marais put the phone back to his ear and began talking again.

"What do you think Johnson's looking for?" the director asked. "Is he trying to find out about the security system?"

Shane shook his head. "I don't know. What else is there?" He listened as the director rattled off a list of rooms - Alamain's study, Marais' study, security control, a couple of spare bedrooms for extra security units, basement access, electronics and weapons storage, computer room, and communications center. No real clue there, Shane thought. Steve could be looking for any of those. Or he could just be wandering around, getting the lie of the land.

He turned to one of the other agents in the room. "Are you monitoring the security system?"

"Yes, sir," said the agent. "He hasn't triggered any alarms yet. He bypassed the exterior alarm-"

"I'm amazed he managed to do that," the field director said. "That's a pretty sophisticated system. Most of our agents would have had difficulty disabling it."

"Don't underestimate him," Shane said. "What about the interior systems?"

The camera technician answered. "Most of the electronic eyes and motion sensors are turned off right now. With Marais and the staff inside, they would be setting them off all the time. There are some operative in sensitive locations, like Alamain's bedroom and the basement."

Shane nodded. "Do we have security control on camera?"

A couple of the monitors on the side changed images. On one, Shane saw a security guard sitting in front of a large monitor. He seemed to have no clue that an intruder was wandering the first floor.

"How is he missing this?" Shane wondered aloud.

The agent grinned. "I tapped into the monitor control. The monitor image cycles from room to room every 10 seconds. I'm having it bypass the rooms Johnson is in. As long as he keeps moving, the guard probably won't notice anything unusual."

The field director chuckled. "Johnson is one lucky S.O.B."

"We'll see about that," Shane muttered. He let out a breath that he did not even know he was holding when he saw Steve move away from the occupied office and enter the room next door. "What room's that?"

"A bedroom," said the camera technician. "Marais uses it sometimes." The main screen's image switched again and they could see Steve in the room with his ear pressed against the wall. Shane said a silent prayer that Ivan Marais decided to sleep in his own bed that night. He glanced at one of the side monitors, which showed Marais still on the phone. He and Steve were only about 10 feet apart, separated by just the wall.

Nothing happened for the next 45 minutes except an agent brought Shane a cup of tea. It was desperately needed as he tried to figure out what Steve was trying to do in the house. Some of the agents more familiar with the mansion offered suggestions - search Lawrence's desk, tap Lawrence's office, infiltrate security control, access the basement, confront Marais - but none seemed more likely than the other. They were just guessing, which was hardly comforting considering Steve's life was in danger and months of intelligence work was in jeopardy.

"He's leaving," said one of the technicians. For an instant, Shane hoped he meant Steve, but the monitors told him it was Marais. Shane held his breath again, hoping he would turn right when he left the office, not left toward the bedroom where Steve was hiding.

_You are one lucky man_, Shane thought, as Marais locked the office door, turned right, and headed off in the direction of the living room. A few minutes later, Steve left the bedroom, returned to the corridor, and headed for the office. They watched as Steve worked on the lock for a minute before it opened, and then entered the office.

Shane had to be impressed at how quickly Steve went through the locks. When they were in Italy, searching for clues on Ernesto Toscano, Steve had left the lockpicking duties to Shane. Now Shane wondered why. Steve was certainly capable enough.

On screen, a flashlight beam flickered across the room. Shane groaned. If anyone was outside, they would be unable to miss the moving light. "What's he thinking?" Shane muttered.

"Don't worry about it," said the field director. "Anyone who sees the light will just think it's the interior security guard doing their room checks."

"Room checks?" Shane asked. "How often do they do that?" He had seen no indication of any interior security sweeps.

The director took a deep breath. "It should be pretty soon, actually."

Once again, Shane debated sending in the extract team, but Steve's luck had held for this long. If there was any chance of getting out of this without destroying the ISA's work, he had to give it time. On screen, Steve shut off the flashlight and the monitor for the office switched again to infrared. Steve's image turned ghostly white.

"What's he doing?" Shane asked, as Steve's figure circled the room a few times.

The field director shook his head. "I don't know. It looks like he's searching the shelves. I don't know why." The director turned to the technician. "Can we get sound in that room?"

"I'm not sure how clean it will be, but we can try." The technician glanced at Shane. "Most of the bugs are by the desk and the sofa. They may not pick up the entire room."

Shane understood. "Let's see what we can get." Turning his attention back to the screen, he watched as it appeared Steve was pulling objects off the shelves and doing something to the shelves. From the infrared images, it was hard to tell. Over the bugs, he could make out the sound of things being slid around and a frequent tapping.

_Was he. . . ._ Shane looked at the field director, who seemed equally surprised. Lawrence's office housed a hidden entrance to the basement. _But how could Steve know about that_? Yet that was exactly what he appeared to be searching for.

Confirmation came a moment later, as they heard Steve's voice over the wire. "There's gotta be a door here. . . . Where the hell is it?" That was followed by more knocking against the shelves.

"We have movement," said one of the agents pointing at a side monitor. On it, a figure had entered the control corridor carrying a flashlight. The security guard was doing his room checks, Shane realized. He was at the opposite end of the hallway from the room Steve was in, but Shane could see the guard test each door, open them, and shine his flashlight inside. He would be at Steve's room in a matter of minutes, and that was assuming that he did not hear the sound of Steve knocking.

Shane thought fast. "Can we control the basement door from here?"

"Sure," said the director.

"Open it," Shane ordered. Over the monitor, he heard the shuffling sound of one of the shelves turning. On screen, Steve turned from where he was searching and moved toward the passage. Meanwhile, on the other screen, the security guard had reached the bedroom where Steve had previously hid. Back on the main screen, Steve's white figure shone his light down the passage.

_Get in there_, Shane urged silently. _Get inside_.

On the side screen, the guard finished checking the bedroom, and checked the door on the opposite side of the hall. It was locked, so the guard moved to the door directly opposite Lawrence's office.

Looking back to the main screen, Shane saw the white figure in Lawrence's office disappearing into the passage. "Close it up," Shane called out. He doubted there was any way that the guard would not hear the sound of the shelf closing, but that might buy them some time.

Shane was right. As the shelves moved, they saw the figure of the guard spin around and move toward Lawrence's office. It was hard to see in the infrared, but from the guard's movements, Shane suspected he had removed a sidearm.

"Should we send in the extract team?" the field director asked.

Shane did not answer immediately, but called for the basement camera to be pulled up. On the side monitor, he could see the guard entering Lawrence's office and look around. In the center, he watched as Steve made his way toward something that was hard to make out in the infrared.

"Where is he?" Shane wished he had a more complete understanding of Lawrence's house. He had mapped out the upper floors when he and Jack had searched for the tape of Lawrence raping Jennifer, but Shane had never known about the basement. That had only been discovered when the ISA had set up its interior surveillance system.

"That should be the wine cellar," the agent controlling the monitors said.

_I doubt Steve went to all this trouble just to get drunk_. Shane was genuinely confused. _Why was Steve searching for Lawrence's wine cellar_?

It hardly mattered. Over the bug in Lawrence's office, they heard the security guard. "Mobile 1 to Base. There's something strange going on in Sector A."

Shane groaned. He had no choice now._ Not unless you want to tell Kayla her husband died due to his own stupidity_, he told himself. Shane ran his hands through his hair, as he gave the order.

"Cue smoke. Send in Extract."


	151. Chapter 150

Steve found the lock to the wine cellar and made short work of it. He heard no noise in the basement, so he was not concerned about using his flashlight while he picked the lock.

Once inside, he found himself face-to-face with more than a dozen shelves, each containing well over a hundred bottles each. Even worse, to check the labels, he had to pull the bottles out of the round holes in which they had been placed.

_There has to be a better way_, Steve thought. _Or I'll be here for days._

He shone the light around the shelves and stopped short when he spotted an empty shelf that looked like it had a book. Moving toward it, Steve grinned. It was not a book, but a binder, and there was only reason anyone would have a binder in this place. Reaching the binder, he flipped it open.

_Perfect._

The binder had listings of each wine and vintage in alphabetical order, with a corresponding number - most likely, the location of the bottle on the shelf. Even better, next to the name of each winery was a copy of its label. All Steve had to do was find the white label with the purple image.

He began flipping pages and looking for a label the fit the image in his head. As he reached the fourth page, his search was interrupted by the sound of a siren coming from the upstairs.

Steve felt like someone poured a bucket of ice over him. Had he set off an alarm without realizing it? He turned from the binder and looked back at the stairs. There was no light at the top, so it did not appear like anyone had opened the secret passageway. Still, the alarm had to be connected to him so he had to find the bottle quickly. He turned back to the book, flipped a few more pages, and then stopped.

_Do I smell smoke_? He did. Was that the cause of the siren? Was there a fire upstairs?

With a renewed urgency, Steve began looking further. Page after page, he went, seeing nothing that looked like the hazy label in his memories. He kept going though, flipping each page and reviewing the labels.

_There_.

In the middle of the binder, he spotted it. A white label with a green border. In the middle was a purple tree. Over the tree was the winery name, "Jacaranda." Only two bottles listed - 1990 and 1991. So which vintage was the poison, he wondered. He had no idea, but it would not matter. Steve would take them both. In his head, he took note of the location numbers - 538 and 864 - and began moving toward the shelves.

Behind him, he heard a noise. Steve spun around toward the stairs and saw a light from the office above.

_No_, he thought. _Not when I'm so close. _

Pulling out his gun, he made his call. _I'll just wing them_. A shot to the shoulder would take the guard out and give Steve a chance to escape. His eye narrowed as he readied his aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, a figure came into view on the stairs.

Steve froze as he saw the uniform of the Salem Fire Department. The man was a firefighter, but how did he know about the passage? Two other firefighters followed the first one down the stairs. They made a beeline toward Steve.

"Come on, Johnson," said the first firefighter to reach him.

Now Steve was completely confused. How did they know his name? How did they know he was here? "I don't-"

"There's no time for talk," said the firefighter. He held out a fireman's coat and a hat. "Put these on."

Steve suddenly understood. Someone - and he had a damn good idea who - was trying to stop him. "I'm not leaving," he said. "I'm here to find something."

"You don't get it," said the second firefighter. "We're taking you out of here right now."

"No," Steve insisted. "I'm not leaving." He turned back toward the shelves.

Behind him, he heard the first firefighter say, angrily, "I said . . . This isn't your choice. You're going to take our help whether you want it or not."

Steve spun around. "Tell Dono-" Before he could finish, one of the men grabbed him in a bear hug and something flashed in front of his face. Steve tried to break free, but the thing - a cloth - was shoved over his nose and mouth. He could smell the drug even as it took effect. _No. Not when I'm so close._

"You got him?"

"Yeah. He's not going anywhere." That came from the man holding Steve. Whatever they had used on him, Steve was still conscious; at least, he could hear and see what was going on around him. But when he tried to talk, nothing happened. And he could not move his arms and legs.

The men put the coat and hat on him. The man holding Steve lifted him over a shoulder and began carrying him up the stairs.

_As if it wasn't enough that Donovan screwed this up, now I'm being lugged around like a sack. _Even though he could not move, Steve's fury increased. _I'm going to kill him._

At the top of the stairs, they were met by several other men dressed as firefighters. "Target secured," said the man carrying Steve. "Give us two minutes to take him out, then finish up in here." As he spoke, Steve noticed smoke pouring from one of the bookshelves. _What the hell_?

He tried to speak again, but the words still did not come. The man carried Steve out of the office and down the hallway toward the living room. Two other agents followed. As they neared the door, their pace increased.

"Out of the way," said the agent carrying Steve. "Get that ambulance over here."

Someone with an accent asked, "What's going on?" Steve recognized the voice from earlier. Ma-ray or whatever his name was.

"He got trapped by the smoke," said the agent. Out the corner of his eye, Steve could see the other agents pushing Ma-ray away. Before he knew it, Steve was lying on a stretcher and being pulled into an ambulance.

When the doors shut, one of the paramedics loomed over him, holding a hypodermic needle in his hand. "I'm going to counter the agent we gave you."

_Good_, Steve thought. _Once I can move again, I'm going back in there to get those bottles._ He did not feel the prick of the needle, but after a few minutes, he regained feeling in his limbs and curled his hand into a fist.

The agent went down before he even realized Steve had thrown the punch. Steve pulled himself off the stretcher and began to open the doors.

"Hey," came a voice from outside. It was the agent with the bear hug. Steve had barely gotten the doors open when the man and two others shoved him backwards. Steve crashed back against the stretcher, but stayed on his feet. Bear Hug was blocking his path, but that was not going to stop him.

"You didn't hear me before," Steve growled. "I'm not leaving."

The man shook his head. "Johnson, don't make matters worse. You've already created a huge mess."

"Not for me. I had it. If not for your-"

Before he finished the words, someone grabbed him from behind. He turned to take a swing, but Bear Hug grabbed his arm securely at the wrist. For an instant, Steve froze. Then he saw the men in their white coats and masks.

"You're not gonna take me!" he yelled.

Then Steve lashed out. An elbow connected with someone's head, but the man kept his grip on Steve's wrist and they both crashed to the floor of the room. He could see other masked men by the door, watching him, waiting for him to be injected again.

"Let me go!" Steve screamed as he did everything he could to break free of the hold. He kicked and struck out with his free hand. "You're not taking me again!"

"Shut him up!" Someone grabbed Steve's free arm and pulled it back.

"NO!" Steve yelled, even as he was pulled onto his back. They would not take him again; he was not going to be their lab rat.

Someone fell on top of him and held him down. Steve continued to scream and throw himself against the restraints.

He heard one of the doctors. "Shut him up now." As Steve stared wide-eyed, one of the white-coated men held up a needle.

"NO!" he shrieked again, even as the needle pierced his skin and an icy river seemed to flow through his veins. He tried to scream again. Maybe Steve did, but he could not hear it as the world fell silent. His vision clouded and, soon, everything went black.


	152. Chapter 151

"Hi, Steve," Kayla said into the answering machine. "I was just calling to let you know that I'm all settled in to my hotel room." She paused for a second, hoping Steve would pick up. "I guess you're not home. I'm going to go and get some dinner, but I shouldn't be too long. My room number is 215. I'll talk to later. I love you."

She hung up the phone in disappointment. Despite the tension between them, Kayla had really been hoping to hear his voice. Well, she would just talk to him later. He and Stephanie would surely be home after she returned from a dinner.

Picking up her purse, Kayla headed out of her room and down to the lobby. On her way in from the airport, she had noticed a little Italian place just down the block from the hotel, and had decided it looked like a nice place for a meal and a relaxing glass of wine.

As she walked down the street towards the restaurant, she again ran over what she planned to tell the state board the following day. She had to make them understand that hiding Bo's illness was the best way to ensure he got any possible treatment. As a nurse, it was her duty to do what was best for the patient under any particular circumstances. What she had done had violated hospital procedures and state regulations, but she knew in her heart that it had been consistent with her duties as a nurse - and as a sister.

The question was whether the board would understand that. She had researched the members of the state board and knew it was comprised primarily of former and current registered nurses. Unlike the board of directors at University Hospital, most of whom were business people not medical professionals, the members of the state licensing board knew that hospital policies and state regulations could not cover every possible situation.

Kayla's thoughts were interrupted as she realized she had reached the restaurant. She opened the door and entered, finding a small, but well-decorated and beautifully lit dining room. It was not crowded. Only a few tables were occupied.

A young woman approached Kayla and smiled. "May I help you?"

"Yes," Kayla replied, returning the smile. "I'd like a table for dinner, please."

"Are you dining alone?" Kayla saw the young woman look around.

"Yes, it's just me." Kayla felt the need to explain. "Business trip."

"Of course." The woman picked up a menu. "Please follow me."

Kayla was soon seated at a small table with a lovely view of the busy street outside the restaurant. The wait staff was attentive, and Kayla had soon ordered her entree and was sipping from a glass of wine.

Settling back into her chair, Kayla glanced around the restaurant. She was not sure why, but her eye quickly found a young couple a few tables over. Trying not to stare, Kayla watched as they sat close together, held hands, and frequently exchanged quick kisses. She smiled as she recognized the love they clearly shared.

Watching the couple and their closeness made Kayla miss Steve even more. For all the reasons why it was better for her to have taken this trip alone, she still wished that he was with her.

Kayla's wistful thoughts were interrupted as the waiter brought her food. She smiled slightly after the first bite, congratulating herself for finding a good restaurant so close to the hotel. She enjoyed her meal and passed the time by people-watching. It turned out that the busy street outside was a very popular place for an evening stroll.

When she had finished her meal, she paid the tab and began the walk back to the hotel. She hoped that she would find a message from Steve waiting for her.

As Kayla stepped into her room, she immediately looked at the phone. Her heart dropped with disappointment when she saw the message light was dark. She looked at the clock and realized it was already late in the evening. It was long past Stephanie's bedtime.

She walked to the phone and dialed. After several rings, the answering machine picked up again. Kayla waited for the message to end and then heard the familiar beep. "Steve? It's Kayla." She waited, again hoping he would pick up. "I guess you're still not home. Please call me when you get in. I'd really like to talk to you." She sighed. "I love you."

Hanging up, Kayla tried not to worry. _Nothing's wrong. Just because he's not home doesn't mean that something is wrong_. A sudden thought occurred to her. Her mother knew Kayla was going out of town. Maybe Caroline had invited Steve and Stephanie over for dinner. _Yes_, she thought to herself. _That must be it_.

Picking the phone up again, Kayla dialed her parents' house. After just two rings, Caroline answered.

"Hello."

"Hi, Ma. It's Kayla."

"Kayla!" Caroline sounded surprised. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Kayla said in a reassuring tone. "I was just wondering if Steve was there."

"No honey, he's not here," Caroline replied. "Did he tell you he would be?"

"No." Kayla could not hide her disappointment. "I've just called the house a couple of times and he's not home. I thought maybe he and Stephanie had gone to your house for dinner or something."

"Well Stephanie's here, but I haven't seen Steve since he dropped Stephanie off a few hours ago."

"Stephanie's there? Did Steve say where he was going when he dropped her off?"

"No, dear," her mother said. "He just asked if we could watch Stephanie for a while, because he had some urgent business to take care of."

"Oh." Kayla did not like the sound of that at all.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Caroline asked.

Forcing a cheery tone, Kayla said, "Yes. Everything's fine. I was just missing Steve." She took a deep breath. "Give Stephanie a kiss for me, okay?"

"Of course, dear. I'll let Steve know you called when he picks up Stephanie."

"Thanks, Ma. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Kayla. Good luck tomorrow."

Kayla hung up the phone and sat on the bed. "Urgent business." What did that mean? Steve had not said anything to her about any business, urgent or otherwise, before she left. Even with the difficulties they were having, she was sure he would not have kept something like that from her. Well, she was pretty sure anyway.

Maybe something was going on with Bo. Kayla knew that Bo and Carly were at odds with Victor Kiriakis. Or maybe it was Jack. Or maybe there had been another incident with Andrew or Kimmie. _Stop it_. She was going to drive herself crazy at this rate.

Kayla briefly pondered calling Bo, Jack and Kim. She even picked up the phone, but quickly put it down again. Steve was a grown man, not a child. Calling all over Salem to try and find him would certainly not help their current problems. She had to trust that, whatever he was doing, he could take care of himself.

_Easier said than done_. As much as she tried to stop it, she could not help her thoughts from drifting back to the days just before the boat explosion. She paced around the hotel room as she remembered how she had all but begged him to tell her what was really going on with his investigation into the Riverfront Raider. But all he would tell her is that he was working on the case, getting close to solving it, and that it was not dangerous.

That had been a lie. She knew that Steve had not intentionally lied to her about it, but it was a lie nonetheless. She had known there was danger involved all along. She had felt it deep inside. But she let Steve convince her that she was just being paranoid, that nothing was going to stop them from taking their trip around the world.

Then the boat explosion happened. She would never forget how Steve had come to her at the party, told her that Bo was in trouble, and said he had to go. She remembered how he had told her that he was not going to keep secrets this time and admitted that it was dangerous. Then he had kissed her and Stephanie and walked out, pausing at the door to wave one last time. The next time she had seen him was in the hospital, when he had fallen into a coma after surgery.

She had begged him to wake up. Begged him not to leave her and Stephanie. And for a brief, wonderful time, he had. Kayla had believed that they had survived another close call, just like they had survived so many over the years. But she had been wrong. Thanks to Lawrence Alamain and his corrupt doctor, Steve had died. Or so she had thought.

Kayla felt the tears run down her face as she relived those last few moments at the hospital. It had been a long time since she had let herself remember what had happened. She could hear the sound of the heart monitor when his heart stopped. She heard Marcus tell her Steve was gone. She could feel Steve's body next to hers when she had laid down beside him in that hospital bed.

She pulled herself from those painful memories. Steve was not gone. He was home. They had a second chance at "happily ever after." That was what she had to focus on_. Except he's not at home_. Try as she might, Kayla could not completely quiet that inner voice.

Kayla looked at the clock again and realized she needed to sleep. She had to meet with the state licensing board staff in the morning and she needed to be well-rested. She quickly performed her nightly routine and climbed into bed. Lying there, she realized it was the first night that she had spent without Steve since she had arrived at Donovan Manor all those weeks ago.

She tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable spot. She missed his arms around her and the feel of his body next to hers. She had never stopped missing him during all of the months they had spent apart. Even when she had fallen in love with Shane, it had been Steve in her dreams at night.

The long day finally caught up with her. As she drifted off, her last thoughts were, as they had always been, about Steve.


	153. Chapter 152

Shane winced as the third monitor on the wall went dark. "How many is that?" he asked the camera technician.

"Nine," was the response.

"And the audio?"

"They've missed a couple in the living room and kitchen, but we won't have complete audio coverage there." The agent answering Shane's question paused. "They found all the bugs in the office."

Shane wanted to break something. This was an unmitigated disaster. Whatever hope he had that they could get Steve out of the Alamain mansion without raising Ivan Marais' suspicions disappeared when Steve had what the extract team described as a "complete meltdown." Not only had he caused an uproar, but two of Shane's men were now at University Hospital - one being treated for a concussion and the other for a broken jaw.

_What the hell was Steve thinking_? Shane thought. _How could he be so bloody reckless_? As that thought finished, the camera technician groaned.

"What just happened?" Shane looked at the camera technician.

"Looks like they found our central override control," the agent replied. "We can't tap into the network now."

"That's just great. Months of getting the system in place all shot to bloody hell in a few hours. Did we at least erase the footage from last night?" When the technician nodded, Shane tried to tell himself that, at least, they had covered their tracks. It was small comfort. Shane turned to the field director. "Is he awake yet?"

The director shook his head. Steve had been unconscious for the better part of two hours since they had sedated him in the ambulance.

Another monitor went dark. The camera technician was putting up the live camera shots on the screens, but they were blinking out almost as fast as they appeared.

"Captain?" One of the aides poked his head into the control room. When Shane turned to the man, he said, "Chief Tarrington is calling for you."

Shane groaned inwardly. That was just what he needed. It was hardly surprising that Tarrington had been informed of tonight's disaster; the ISA was full of sycophants who liked to report every little detail to the Chief without using proper channels. Shane glanced over at the field director, who turned red-faced and looked away. Shaking his head, Shane turned back to the aide. "Tell Tarrington that I'm interrogating Johnson and will have a report as soon as I'm finished."

_At least then, I might be able to tell him why this happened._

Ignoring the sputtering aide, Shane left the control room and headed toward the interrogation room where Steve was being kept. Two agents from the extract team were standing guard outside. One had a large bruise near his eye. Neither looked pleased. They stepped out of the way as Shane opened the door and entered the room.

On the opposite side of a table, Steve was sprawled in a chair, with his head back and eyes closed. "Can we revive him?" Shane asked one of the two agents already in the room. The man nodded, reached into a case, and pulled out some smelling salts. He waved them under Steve's nose.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Steve jerked his head away from the bottle and shoved the man away. "Wh. . . . What's going-"

"That's my question," Shane said, cutting Steve off. It was a challenge for Shane to keep his voice below a yell. "What the blazes is going on?"

Steve's eyes came into focus and he saw Shane for the first time. Then Steve looked around the room at the two agents and back at Shane. His lip curled into something resembling a snarl, as he said, "I don't have to answer any of your questions, Donovan. You or your brute squad."

"My brute squad?" Shane said, slamming his palms onto the table. "That 'brute squad' just saved your life. Or did you think nobody would have noticed you pounding on the shelves in Alamain's office?"

Steve continued to glare at Shane. "I got the door open, didn't I?"

"Actually, no . . . you didn't. We opened it for you so the security guard in the hall wouldn't open the office door and find you there." Shane began to pace. He looked at the two agents, and debated his next move before he ordered, "Leave us."

"You sure, Captain?" One of the agents looked from Shane to Steve. "He's not even cuffed."

"I know," Shane said. When Steve had been brought in, Shane had directed the agents to put him in the interrogation room without restraints. After studying Steve for a minute, Shane nodded to the agents. "It's okay. I can handle him."

Shane heard Steve snort at that. As the agents left, he called out, "Hey, boys, don't be strangers. I like to be on a first-name basis with my friendly neighborhood firemen." Then he turned his attention back at Shane with a sarcastic smile. "So now you're going to handle me?"

"If necessary," Shane said. "For now, we're going to have a little talk. A bit of a 'come to Jesus' talk, if you will, about Lawrence Alamain, breaking-and-entering, and why I shouldn't turn you over to Roman and have you locked away for obstruction of justice." Shane leaned over the table. "Do you have any idea how much damage you did tonight?"

"Oh? I messed up your widdle investigation?" Steve mocked. "It's been so successful so far." He switched to his faux English accent. "So veddy sorry ol' chap."

Shane could not stop his voice from rising. "Steve . . . So help me . . . We had that house wired from basement to attic. Nobody could sneeze in there without us knowing it. And now . . . now, Ivan Marais has a team sweeping the place and removing every camera and bug they can find." Shane's own anger was beginning to overwhelm him. "Our investigation's been set back months - months that we don't have - and for what? So you can go play Lone Ranger and take a stroll in Alamain's basement?"

He watched as Steve just shook his head and smiled. "You had that house wired from top to bottom?"

When Shane nodded, the smile left Steve's face and he said, "Well what the hell did it get you? Did it prove what Alamain did to me? Did it put him away for raping Jennifer? Did all those bugs and cameras warn you that Alamain was going after Andrew?" Steve shook his head angrily. "You spent months on all this equipment and manpower and you got exactly what you had before that - nothing. So don't give me some ISA bull about how I 'set back the investigation.' Your investigation's been going nowhere all along."

Shane wanted to hit something . . . or someone. Didn't Johnson understand that these things take time? When Alamain got out of prison and began running things from his house again, the ISA would have heard every word of it. As it was, the investigation hardly had led to nothing. They had found out about Alamain's facilities and used that information to infiltrate his organization. Not to mention. . . .

"I see," Shane said, stepping away from the table. "We've gone 'nowhere' and learned 'nothing.' Okay, then . . . How about I send you back to Egypt since 'nothing' means we never found out about Alamain's compound? That 'nothing' saved your life."

"Come on, Donovan, we both know the ISA doesn't give a damn about me," Steve growled. "It was just part of the mission, and I just happened to be there."

_What you don't know_, Shane thought. Maybe it was time he let Steve know exactly how his rescue had come about. He started to speak but Steve cut him off -

"Whoa . . . is that the time . . . I left Stephanie at Caroline's. She's probably worried."

_I swear I am going to break something_, Shane said to himself.

At Shane's look, Steve said, "I'm serious, man. Just let me call Caroline and then you can get back to yelling at me."

"You're not leaving here until you tell me why you were at Alamain's."

Steve grimaced. "Whatever you say, Double-0-Donovan. Just let me call Caroline before she calls the whole family looking for me."

Shane sighed. It wouldn't do anyone any good if Caroline raised the alarm that Steve had gone missing. He knocked on the door and one of the agents opened it. "Let Johnson make a call and then bring him right back here."

As Steve left with a phalanx of three ISA agents beside him, Shane thought over the conversation. He decided it would be better not to tell Steve about the Egypt mission; if he learned that the ISA would have let him there if not for Shane's choice to take the mission, Steve would be even more belligerent.

_This night is just getting worse and worse_ Shane told himself.

While he waited for Steve to return, Shane mulled over his decision to send in the extract team. He knew Steve would have been caught red-handed by the security guards. As it was, the ISA ruse had barely stopped the guards from entering the basement. First, the guards had been surprised by the alarms going off in response to the extract team setting off smoke devices hidden in several of the ISA cameras. Then, when the team had charged into the house, they had pulled all of the guards outside "for their own protection" just before they could open the passage to the basement.

And for what? While that part of the extraction had worked seamlessly, Steve had just mucked it up by refusing to cooperate. Shane had no way to know if Marais would have conducted his sweep without Steve throwing his tantrum in the ambulance, but that had pretty much made it impossible for him to believe the incident was "just a small electrical fire."

The door behind Shane opened and the agent with the black eye shoved Steve through the door. "Take a seat, and don't try anything funny." The agent looked at Shane. "He tried to slip away. You sure you don't want him cuffed?"

Shane's eyes met Steve's. They both knew what restraining Steve's hands would do. "Don't think I'm above that," Shane warned. He motioned with his head to the door and the agent left, locking it behind him.

Silently, Steve walked back to the chair and sat down. He leaned back, crossed his arms, and glared defiantly. "So what's this now? A nice casual conversation between friends?"

The anger began to rise again and Shane forced himself to take a deep breath before responding. "Tell me something, Steve. Do you want Alamain to get away?" He looked Steve right in the eye. "I'm serious. Is that what you're trying to do? Let him get away so you can go play vigilante?"

"No, of course not," Steve shot back. "But at least I'm out there trying to do something."

"Oh, I see. . . ." Shane took another deep breath. "My 15 agents here, a dedicated task force, more surveillance than you could possibly imagine. . . . We're not trying to do anything. We should just try to take Lawrence Alamain down by what? Breaking into his house and taking a nighttime stroll?"

"It's nothing when it doesn't accomplish a damn thing." Shane could tell that Steve was getting riled. "How many more people are going to get hurt by this guy while you and your task force pat yourselves on your backs for bugging his house?" Steve turned and looked at Shane. "Besides, I wasn't just wandering around. I had a reason - and you idiots screwed it up, of course."

"You had a reason? A reason?" Shane yelled. "What blasted reason did you possibly have?"

Steve crossed his arms and said nothing.

"Tell me, Steve, or so help me, I'll have you brought up on charges." Shane was reaching the limits of his patience.

"Go ahead and bring me up on charges, Donovan." Steve was yelling back now. "I'll be happy to explain to Roman, the DA, and anybody else that at least I was trying to do something to stop this guy. I'm sure Jack would be happy to do a nice series in the paper about how the Salem PD and the ISA have been unable to even sniff at Alamain's operation."

Shane took a deep breath and tried to force himself to attempt to deal with this logically. "Steve. . . . You have no idea what we've found out."

"Oh yeah? Tell me what you've found out!" Steve said, angrily. "It's obviously not enough to put Alamain away. Hell, he's only in jail right now because Kim took it on herself to bug him. So stop trying to convince me how great your mission's going."

Seething, Shane curled his right hand into a fist. It took most of his self-control not to wipe that smug expression off Steve's face. "I'm not at liberty to divulge-"

"Not at liberty to divulge. . . ." Steve rolled his eye. "Spare me the superspy mumbo jumbo. You've got nothing on Lawrence. You're no closer to putting him away than you were months ago."

Shane stepped away from the table and turned around. This approach was not working. Maybe if he tried something a little closer to home, it would get Steve to cooperate. "Forget all that, Steve. Let's just focus on tonight. Okay? I saved your life earlier. If those guards had found you, they would have shot first and probably dumped the body where it wouldn't have been found. I was not going to let that happen. . . ."

"Oh spare me the concern," Steve spit back. "The only reason you went in after me was because if the guards found me, they might have found all of your precious bugs. Don't pretend this had anything to do with trying to save me." Steve's eye narrowed and another dangerous smile crossed his face. "I bet you're wishing those guards had found me anyway. It would have given you a chance to 'comfort' Kayla again."

_That does it. _Shane let loose. "This isn't about Kayla. It's about your stupidity that's set back our investigation by months. Hundreds of hours of work wasted. Tens of thousands of dollars down the drain. And we've got virtually no chance of getting back into that house now."

"I don't care," Steve yelled back as he rose from the chair. "I don't care about your damn investigation. Screw the ISA. This is personal for me! Alamain took my life for nine months, and I'm never going to get that back! So take your stupid investigation and shove it-"

"This investigation was the best chance we had of nailing Alamain," Shane said. "That surveillance was necessary to meet our objectives."

"What objectives? Too find out the daily grocery order?" Steve rested his palms on the table and shook his head. "I don't get you, Donovan. You act like this is just another mission. After everything that man has done to the Brady family, can't you understand when I say this is personal?"

"And you don't think it's personal to me?" Shane's voice rose again. "That man tried to kill my son. I know all about 'personal,' Steve. But I just can't run off half-cocked all the time, letting emotions trump logic. The way to get Alamain is to out-think him . . . to plan logically."

Steve looked down at the table and shook his head some more. "Man . . . . you are one cold SOB. Logic. Plans. Sorry, dude, I don't have time to wait while you and Lawrence play some stupid game." He chuckled. "For all your logic, Donovan, you've still got nothing. I was closer to nailing Alamain than you and the whole, damn ISA ever got."

Shane crossed his arms. _This I've got to hear_. "Were you? Well why don't you tell me how you were so close? Or is this just another one of your fantasies of being 'Steve Johnson, super-cop' once more?"

"Oh, I was close," Steve said through gritted teeth. He held up his hand, his thumb and index fingers close together. "I was this close."

"You were wandering around the house with no clue where you were going," Shane reminded Steve.

"I would've found the trigger for the basement sooner or later," Steve said. He obviously caught Shane rolling his eyes, because he snarled again. "Go ahead and don't believe me. Alamain's keeping that stuff he gave me in Egypt in his wine cellar."

Shane was not sure he heard Steve correctly. "What do you mean?"

"That stuff they gave me," Steve said. "It was in a wine bottle. I remembered that tonight. He's got bottles with the same labels in his wine cellar. That's what I was about to get when your guys dragged me out of there."

If Shane had been angry before, it did not compare to the fury he was experiencing now. "Let me get this straight. . . ." He could hear his voice shaking with anger. "You remembered that the toxin was in a wine bottle and, instead of passing that information on to me, you decided to break into Alamain's house to try to find it yourself?"

Steve took a seat once more and crossed his arms. "Like I said, it's personal." He gave Shane a hard look. "I don't owe the ISA anything."

"Damn you, Steve!" Shane slammed his hand on the table once more. "We could've had him. If you'd just told us. I could've had a warrant in less than an hour and we could've been in the wine cellar before Marais could react. What's the name on the bottle?" Shane said, in a tone that made it clear that he was not making a request.

"'Jacaranda' . . . ." Steve still sounded defiant. "It's got some kind of purple tree on the label."

"I know what a Jacaranda tree is," Shane snapped. "Where are the bottles?"

Steve shrugged. "He's got two bottles with that label. One's in slot 538 and the other's in 864."

Shane shook his head. "So help me, Steve. . . . If they're gone. . . ." He did not finish the thought, but turned and pounded on the door until an agent answered. "Get a warrant and get a unit over to Alamain's. Find the wine bottles with the Jacaranda label. Slots 538 and 864." Shane turned back to Steve, before stepping outside and shutting the door behind him. "You'd better pray they're still there."


	154. Chapter 153

Kim opened the door and entered the darkened foyer. The house was dark and quiet, although that was to be expected when it was after midnight. Kim had been called to the hospital a few hours earlier, just as she was about to go to bed.

A young woman had been brought in with serious injuries and the doctor had suspected domestic abuse. Kim had spent over an hour with the woman, trying to determine what had really happened. "Woman" was really an overstatement actually. The girl was barely out of her teens and had insisted that she had simply tripped on the stairs of her apartment. The menacing boyfriend pacing outside the young woman's room had made Kim skeptical, as had the doctor's insistence that the injuries were not consistent with a fall.

After trying every way possible to convince the woman to tell the real story, Kim had finally admitted defeat. She had given the woman her card with the numbers for the abuse clinic and a woman's shelter. Kim could only hope the girl would use one of those numbers before she ended up back in the hospital.

Kim jumped in surprise when the light in the foyer was suddenly switched on. Turning, she saw Andrew's bodyguard standing at the top of the stairs.

"Um . . . Mike . . . I didn't realize you were still here." Kim knew that he was not supposed to be on duty at night, and she hardly expected he would still be here on his very first day.

"Mr. Donovan hasn't returned yet, ma'am," Mike replied, walking down the stairs. "My orders are not to leave until he has personally relieved me."

"Shane's not back yet?" Kim asked, more to herself than to Mike. "But he left hours ago."

"No, ma'am." Mike walked to the door, made sure it was secure, and checked that the alarm had reactivated.

"Has he called or anything?" Kim cringed a little at the question, but she could not help herself.

"Not that I am aware of, ma'am." Mike's expression revealed nothing.

Kim felt foolish. Interrogating the bodyguard was probably not the appropriate thing to do.

"Thank you, Mike. Oh, and please call me 'Kim' or 'Kimberly.' I may have failed to get Simmons to do that, but we really don't stand on formality here." Kim headed for the stairs, then turned. "I'm sure it's okay for you to go home now. The house is secured and I'm sure Shane will be back soon."

Mike had taken a seat in one of the foyer chairs. He looked up at Kim, his face still void of expression. "I'm on duty until Mr. Donovan personally relieves me," he repeated.

"Right," Kim said. "Well then, goodnight."

Mike nodded but did not speak. When Kim reached the top of the stairs, the light in the foyer went off. A small smile crossed Kim's face as she thought of the surprise that awaited Shane when he returned. She was sure that he would not remember that the bodyguard was still on duty. _Serves him right for being out so late._

Walking down the hall, Kim first peaked into Andrew's room. He was sleeping soundly, tucked in with his favorite teddy bear. She walked over and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. As she watched him sleep, she could see so much of Shane in her son. The dark, wavy hair was a large part of it, but it was more than that. She had seen pictures of Shane as a boy and she had a hunch that Andrew was destined to be the spitting image of his father - except for his eyes. Those were all Brady.

Kim quietly left Andrew's room and continued down the hall. She entered Jeannie's room and saw Simmons sitting in the rocking chair, reading a book by a lamplight. Simmons looked up as Kim entered and immediately stood. Putting her finger to her lips, Kim backed out of the room and Simmons followed.

"Thank you for waiting up for me," Kim said quietly.

"Of course, Madame," Simmons replied.

"I hope Jeannie wasn't too much trouble."

"No trouble at all." A small smile crossed Simmons face. "The little miss hasn't made a peep since you left."

Kim smiled in return. "Maybe she's finally getting used to the new surroundings."

"I certainly hope so," Simmons said. "Is there anything else you require of me this evening?"

"No." Kim tried to stifle a yawn. "You've done more than enough. Goodnight, Simmons."

"Goodnight, Madame."

Kim re-entered Jeannie's room and, as she had done with Andrew, walked over to the crib to look in on her daughter. Like her brother, Jeannie was sleeping peacefully. Unlike her brother, Jeannie looked nothing like her father. Although she was only a year-old, it appeared that Jeannie would take after the Brady side of the family tree. Kim could not help but feel grateful for that.

Leaning down, Kim deposited a soft kiss on Jeannie's head, just as she had done with Andrew. It did not matter who Jeannie's father was; Kim loved both her children equally. Cal may have been a huge mistake in many ways, but she would never regret having Jeannie. Kim knew that if she could go back in time, she would do many things differently. But she would not change a single thing if it meant that she would not have her daughter in her life.

Feeling exhausted, Kim walked into her room. As she prepared for bed, she tried to ignore the worry building within her. But the more she tried to ignore it, the louder the voice in her head seemed. She knew that Shane had rushed off earlier in the evening. She knew that he had not yet returned home. Unfortunately, that was all she knew. That left plenty of room for a million different scenarios to play out in Kim's mind.

_Stop it_! Shane was not hers to worry about anymore. Even if he came home, he was not going to be coming home to her. He would not crawl quietly into her bed, put his arms around her, and mold his body to hers. He would not wake her gently with a kiss and then make love to her in the wee hours of the morning. Whether Shane was home or away, she would be sleeping in her bed alone.

But that did not stop her from worrying. And it did not stop her from being angry that she could not stop worrying. Sighing, Kim crawled into bed and settled wearily against her pillow.

She remembered the walk she had taken before she had left Donovan Manor. She had vowed to put her hopes for a reunion with Shane aside and focus on her children and her work. _So much for that idea_. Here she was living in Shane's house and lying in bed worrying about him.

Maybe it would be easier to let go if she was not so sure that Shane still loved her. She could catch glimpses of it in his eyes and in his voice, and it made her heart soar and sink at the same time. What good was knowing that he still loved her when she also knew he had no intention of admitting it?

Kim knew that she had hurt Shane badly when she had lied about her pregnancy. Part of her could not blame him for being unable to forgive those lies. But she also knew that the demise of their marriage had not been entirely her fault. She had not left because she wanted to. She had only left because she saw no other choice in the face of Shane's coldness.

_But what did that really matter now_? Kim asked herself as she felt sleep overtake her. Whatever the reasons, she and Shane found themselves living together, but still very far apart.


	155. Chapter 154

Steve stood up from his chair and stalked around the dimly lit interrogation room. He checked his watch again, but that only made him angrier. Shane had left the room hours ago; it was already 6:30 a.m.

There would be hell to pay for last night, Steve thought, and Shane was the least of Steve's worries. Caroline had been furious when he called around midnight to tell her that he would be unable to get Stephanie. Not only was she angry that he could not tell her why he was late; the call had woken Shawn who had to be on his boat at 6 a.m. Then there was Kayla. Caroline told him that Kayla had called, looking for him. She would be worried and angry that Steve had not called her. And, to top it off, Steve had to be at his job interview in just a few hours.

He walked over to the door and pounded on it. "Hey there! Tell me what the hell's going on!"

After a few minutes of pounding, the door opened and an agent looked in. The man had a large welt near his eye. He glared at Steve, said, "Sit down and shut up," and slammed the door shut. That left Steve with more time to stew.

He did not care what Shane said. _I did the right thing. If it wasn't for Donovan and the damn ISA screwing things up, I would have had Alamain dead to rights. That's more than the ISA's done with all their money and agents._

Steve tried to suppress the tiny voice deep in his head that maybe Shane had a point. The ISA could have gotten a warrant. But Steve dismissed the thought. If he had told the ISA about the wine bottle, Shane would have just sat on the information. He would have probably held a bunch of meetings and gathered his "task force" to talk about it. Meanwhile, Lawrence would have had plenty of time to do whatever he wanted to do. No, in this case, action was needed; Steve was right.

Besides, Steve did not owe the ISA anything. Shane might keep mentioning Egypt, but they both knew the score there. Steve was an afterthought. Nobody in the ISA cared about him.

He checked his watch again. 6:40 a.m. This was getting ridiculous. He turned toward the door and called out, "You can't keep my locked up in here! I want a lawyer!" Just as he finished, the door opened and Shane stepped back inside. Steve smirked. "I guess that got your attention."

Shane looked at him, his face betraying nothing. "No," he said evenly. "The only thing that has my attention is the fact that my team just dismantled Alamain's wine cellar and found nothing. So either you're making up this 'Jacaranda' story or your little escapade earlier tonight caused Marais to get rid of the evidence."

"I'm not lying," Steve said, angrily.

"No . . . I don't think you are." Shane's sounded completely calm, as he crossed the room and ran his hands through his hair. "Why, Steve?" he asked. "Tell me why?"

_He just doesn't get it_, Steve thought. "I told you, Donovan. I had him - and you and your damn ISA buddies just screwed it all up! Dammit!" Steve turned away and kicked at the wall. _I would have had him_! He turned back and yelled. "I had him!"

"We saved your life. . . ." Shane shook his head. "Not just tonight."

Steve glared at Shane. "Stop saying that. You want to me to act all grateful to the ISA - to you - but I don't owe you anything. And don't try to tell me the ISA would have brought me out if it wasn't going into that compound for other reasons." He watched as Shane started to respond, but then fell silent. "See . . . you won't even defend them. Same with tonight. If you didn't think I'd screw up your investigation, you would've left me to Alamain's dogs."

"That's not true," Shane said. "I was not going to leave you."

That caused Steve to let loose with a harsh laugh. "Give me a break, Donovan. You're ISA through and through, and I know exactly how the ISA operates. Hell, remember Jericho? I was there. Stockholm? I was there too. I've seen what the ISA does. I've seen what it does to its own people." Steve continued to laugh bitterly. "Nothing - and nobody - is more important than the damn mission."

"I see." Shane leaned against the far wall and crossed his arms. "So . . . since you don't believe in the ISA, you're perfectly free to interfere with our investigation? It's better that Alamain goes free just so you can prove that your way is better than ours?"

"I told you this is personal!" Steve knew he was about to lose his cool again, but he did not care. He wanted to wipe that smug, superior look off Shane's face. "I had him, Donovan. In 30 minutes, I got closer to putting Alamain away for good than you've gotten in months. So, yeah, I don't give a damn if I messed up your investigation. I had just as much right to be there; Alamain took nine months of my life-"

Shane cut him off. "And what? That gives you the right to take the law into your own hands? Tell me something, Steve. Let's say, by some miracle, you managed to avoid the security guard who, I'll have you know, was only about 30 feet from you when we opened that shelf. Let's say you got to the basement, found the bottle, and managed to get out of there. What then?"

"We'd have had whatever he was working on. You'd have had that stuff," Steve said. "You'd know what Lawrence had and you'd have put him away."

"Oh come on," Shane snapped. "You were a bloody cop for god's sake. You know Alamain's attorneys would have gotten that evidence thrown out of court long before a trial."

Unable to contain his anger any further, Steve felt his entire body shaking. His hands curled into fists. "I don't care! So what if it never sees a courtroom. Your scientists could have figured out what it was and how to counteract it. There would be one less threat to deal with." Steve paced across the room. "At least I was doing something to stop him. We both know that putting him in prison doesn't do any good."

"And if you'd told me what you remembered, we could have done both," Shane said.

Steve gave a sarcastic smile. "Yeah, right. If I'd told you, you wouldn't have run for a warrant; you'd have just sat on your hands and waited. Talked a lot, probably. Meanwhile, Lawrence Alaiman would be proceeding merrily along with whatever he plans to do with this stuff."

Shane said nothing and Steve smiled inwardly. He had put Mr. ISA in his place.

"There really is no point to this," Shane finally said. "You're going to keep insisting everything you did was right."

"That's right, Donovan." Steve walked toward Shane. "You can just sit there and talk about 'plans' and 'logic,' but I was going to get some results. So what if I don't play by your rules? Your rules don't work with a guy like Alamain. We play by the book and he just laughs at us."

"So your solution is just to throw the book away?" Shane was shaking his head, which just stoked Steve's anger again.

"That's right!" Steve yelled. "You throw the damn book away and take a guy like Alamain down any way you can!"

"This isn't the Wild West, Steve." Steve could see that Shane's face was turning red. "There are rules and procedures-"

Steve turned from Shane and slammed his hand on the table. "Damn your procedures! They didn't stop what happened to me. They didn't stop Alamain from raping Jennifer. Hell, they didn't even put him in jail. He's only there because Kim broke the rules and let you blackmail Alamain into pleading guilty."

"Steve-"

"No! You know I'm right." Steve knew this was pointless. Shane had bought into the company line. Steve took a few short breaths then turned his head toward Shane. "You used to know when playing by the rules didn't work. You sure as hell didn't play by the rules when it came to your brother."

Steve saw Shane's jaw tighten at the mention of Drew. "That's right," Steve said. "I remember that too. So you can talk about procedures until you're blue in the face, but tell me, Donovan, what are you going to think about those procedures when you're watching them put Andrew's coffin in the ground? Will you sit there and say, 'At least I followed the rules.' Will-"

Before Steve could react, he was grabbed and shoved backwards against the wall. Shane had a hold of his jacket and their faces were only inches apart. "Don't you say another bloody word!" Shane said, his voice little more than an angry snarl. The calm veneer was gone entirely. For a second, Steve was reminded of the time Shane had blindsided him at Savannah's recording studio when trying to find out where Bo and Hope were. That was one of the few times Steve could remember Shane losing his cool. _Good, maybe I'm getting through to him_. But when Shane spoke again, it was in a tight, even voice. "If anything happens to my son, Steve . . . I swear . . . his blood will be on your hands - because of what you did last night."

"Yeah . . . you just tell yourself that," Steve said. "But remember that all of your fancy bugs didn't tell you about that car that almost hit Andrew or those bullets at the school yard." Steve's voice softened for a moment. "Alamain knows your game, Shane. The only way to stop him is to change the rules."

Shane released Steve's jacket and stepped back. Then he took a few deep breaths and straightened his tie. Any sign of anger was gone. Steve knew that Shane was back to the company man. He would never understand that protecting your own by any means necessary was the only rule that mattered.

"So what are you gonna do now, Donovan?" Steve asked. "Lock me up?" He held his hands out in front of him and dared, "Go ahead and cuff me."

Shane stared back, his face impassive. Then he turned, walked to the door, and pounded on it. When it opened, Shane told the agent outside, "Take Johnson back to his car." Then he turned back to face Steve. "You just used up your 'get out of jail free' card. Next time, you won't be so lucky."

Steve waited for Shane to disappear from view. Then he sauntered over to the door and grinned at the ISA agent with the bruised eye. "So boys, we're going to go for a little ride. Since your boss is so into Monopoly, how 'bout we cruise by Boardwalk and Park Place on the way?"


	156. Chapter 155

Kayla exited the cab and hurried across the street to the capitol building. She only had five minutes to find the meeting room, and the last thing she needed this morning was to be late.

The day had not started well. After tossing, turning, and hoping that Steve would call her despite the late hour, Kayla had finally fallen asleep early in the morning. The loud ring from the wake-up call had startled her awake, but had not left her in a pleasant mood.

Checking the time, Kayla had contemplated calling the apartment again. But she knew that Steve had his interview later that morning and she did not want to wake him or Stephanie if he had gotten home late. So she did the next best thing and called her mother. Caroline would be up early getting ready for another day at the Fish Market.

Kayla had been right. Caroline had picked up immediately, and promptly said that she was in the middle of fixing breakfast for Stephanie. As Caroline told Kayla about Steve's midnight phone call and his lack of explanation for what had happened, it was clear that Caroline was not happy with her son-in-law. _That makes two of us_, Kayla had thought at the time.

After talking to Caroline, Kayla had called the apartment, but again only got the answering machine. She was so tired of hearing that outgoing message that she vowed to change it as soon as she got home. With little other choice, she decided to get ready for her day. She stepped into the shower and hoped the warm water would wash away her frustration and concern. It had not worked.

To top matters off, when she got out of the shower and returned to the main room, she found the message light on her phone blinking. She could not figure out how she missed hearing the phone ring until she remembered she had lowered the volume after receiving the wake-up call that morning.

Chastising herself for not turning the volume back up, Kayla had quickly retrieved the message. It was from Steve who, from the background noise, was at the Fish Market. The tone of Steve's voice indicated that Caroline had ordered him to call Kayla immediately.

The message had been short. Steve had sounded apologetic, but simply said that he was fine, that he was sorry he had not been able to call her the night before, and that he was sorry he had worried her. He wished her good luck at her meeting and her hearing, and promised to call her that evening.

Kayla had immediately called the Fish Market again, but Caroline said that Steve had just left to get ready for his job interview. He had given Caroline no information about what had kept him out all night, but Steve must have worked his charms on her. She no longer seemed quite so unhappy with him. _That makes one of us_, Kayla had thought.

Rather than calling the apartment immediately, Kayla had waited until after she had finished getting ready. Steve's interview was not for a couple of hours, so she figured he would be home for a little while. She was wrong. Once more, she got the answering machine, and she could not help but wonder if Steve had screened her call knowing she probably was not too happy with him.

All the phone calls had delayed Kayla at the hotel and left her in a foul mood. It got even worse when her cab got snarled in traffic. Her ten-minute trip to the state board offices took almost three-times that long.

The long cab ride had given Kayla plenty of time to stew about Steve. If she did not know him so well, she would have been tempted to think he had spent the night out with the boys or doing something less savory. But she trusted him. And basic logic told her that Steve would not have called Caroline so late - or initially told her he would be back in a few hours - if he was trying to avoid getting caught.

No, this was not a normal husband staying-out-all-night situation. This was Steve, which meant it was anything but normal. The more she thought, the more she suspected it had something to do with Lawrence Alamain. Steve had wanted to talk to Roman about Lawrence at the birthday party and, in the aftermath of the scene with Shane, she had never asked what Steve and Roman had talked about.

So what would be related to Alamain and have kept Steve out all night? There were several possibilities, none of which made Kayla feel any better. Anything related to Alamain was definitely dangerous and, knowing Steve, probably not exactly legal.

Sighing, Kayla gave a soft prayer of thanks that Steve was safe and that whatever had happened had not left him hurt . . . or worse. It was the "or worse" that had Kayla's heart pounding and her Irish temper raging at the same time.

The cab's arrival at the capitol had forced Kayla out of her thoughts. Now she was racing up the steps, hoping to find the designated meeting room in time. Luckily, the meeting room was in a nearby hallway. She entered the room with seconds to spare.

Inside were two people from the state nursing board staff who spent the next hour explaining the procedure for the hearing that afternoon. Kayla was lucky; there had been some changes to the agenda, so her hearing should begin around 2 p.m. Kayla would be allowed to make an opening statement. After that statement, the board would ask her any questions they had and then she would be allowed to make a closing statement. The staff members had emphasized that the board had the entire record from the hospital board hearing and would be well-versed in its contents.

Kayla tried to get the staff members to hint at what the board was thinking, but they had been exceedingly polite and completely non-committal. When Kayla's questions had all been answered, the staff members had wished her luck and exited the room.

As Kayla followed after them, she checked the time. It was still before noon, so she had plenty of time before the 2 p.m. hearing. She thought about going back to the hotel and trying to call Steve again. By the time she got back, he might be home from his interview.

But the more she thought about it, the more she decided it was better to wait. She wanted to focus on the hearing and she doubted a talk with Steve would help that focus right now. He was safe and sound; the rest could wait until that evening.

Exiting the capitol, she noticed a small café across the street. That was perfect. She would find a table and have a light lunch while preparing her opening and closing statements to the board. She would focus on the hearing and on making the best impression possible. Saving her career had to be her priority right now. Dealing with her wayward husband would just have to wait.


	157. Chapter 156

Kim hurried down the stairs, turned the corner, and headed for the kitchen. She stopped suddenly when she saw Mike, Andrew's bodyguard, sitting in the chair in the foyer.

"Good morning, Mike," Kim said brightly. "I didn't expect you back so early this morning. Andrew doesn't leave for school for another hour."

"Good morning, ma'am," Mike replied with his typical stoicism.

"Really, it's Kim or Kimberly. Ma'am just makes me feel old." Kim smiled, but she was beginning to realize that getting Mike to call her by her name was probably a lost cause. It had never worked on Simmons either.

Kim was about to continue her walk into the kitchen when Mike's tie caught her eye. She had noticed it yesterday because she had liked the pattern. But if he was still wearing it today it either meant he had only one tie, or . . .

"Have you been here all night?" Kim asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

Kim's eyes narrowed. If Mike had been there all night, it meant only one thing. "I assume that means that Shane never made it home?" Kim tried to keep her tone even.

"Yes, ma'am."

Kim bit back a retort at Mike's two-word answers. It was not fair to take out her worry and frustration on him. "If you've been her all night, maybe it's better for Andrew to return to school tomorrow. You must be exhausted."

Mike shook his head. "That's not necessary. I'm more than capable of escorting Andrew to school today."

Kim hesitated. She did not want her son's bodyguard to fall asleep on the job, but she also knew how excited Andrew was about going to school. She looked at Mike closely and was unable to see any sign of fatigue. She knew Shane would not have hired him if he was not very good at what he did.

"All right," she finally replied. "Andrew will be ready to leave in about an hour if you want to take a nap or freshen up or something."

Mike again nodded, but remained in his chair. Sighing, Kim walked into the kitchen and found Simmons preparing breakfast. After exchanging pleasantries with Simmons, Kim sat down with her cup of tea and a muffin. She tried to ignore the fear churning in her stomach. She told herself that if something had happened, she would have received a phone call. Unfortunately, her stomach was apparently not listening.

And it was not just fear she was feeling; it was anger. If Shane was not hurt, then he better have damn good reason for not being home. He knew that Andrew was going back to school this morning, and he should have known that Andrew would need his father. Yet, once again, his work was interfering.

She glanced at the clock and then walked over to the phone on the wall. Pulling a slip of paper from her pocket, she dialed the number for Salem Elementary. She wanted to let them know that Andrew would be returning with a bodyguard.

"Good morning," she said when the receptionist answered. "This Kimberly Brady - Andrew Donovan's mother. Is Mr. Brown available?"

Kim waited as her call was transferred to the principal. "I wanted to let you know that Andrew would be returning to school today," Kim said when Mr. Brown answered his line.

"I see," said the principal. "Ahem . . . I'm sure that was quite difficult for Andrew."

"Yes, it has been a traumatic experience for him," Kim replied.

Mr. Brown added, "And for all the children, as I'm sure you know.."

"Yes, I'm sure it was traumatic for all the children." _But mine was the one actually shot at._

There was a long pause. "Mrs. Donovan . . . . Um, Detective Carver told me that your boy was the focus of the attack. And they don't seem to know why."

"No, the police department has not determined why Andrew was being targeted." Kim did not like how hesitant the principal sounded. "That's why my hus . . . Andrew's father has hired a bodyguard for him."

"Would this bodyguard be in the classroom?" Mr. Brown asked, sounding almost surprised.

"Yes, I do intend that he will be in the classroom with Andrew." Silently, she added, _He wouldn't do much good out in the parking lot._

She listened as the principal talked about the "adjustment" it would take and the potential disruption.

"I realize it will be a bit of an adjustment for the class," Kim said. "But I'm sure Mr. Adams will work with the teacher to minimize any disruption." _They're kindergartners . . . How bad could it be to have the finger-painting disrupted?_

"This is a highly unusual request," Mr. Brown said.

"Yes, I understand that the school is not accustomed to dealing with this type of situation. But, it's one bodyguard, not an army."

"Was that a joke, Mrs. Donovan?" The man's voice came through the line rather sharply.

Kim fought to keep from losing her temper. "No, I don't think this situation is humorous. Nothing about my son being in danger is funny."

"Well you must understand. . . ." Mr. Brown paused again. "Other parents have expressed concerns about having your son in the school."

"What exactly do you mean when you say that other parents have 'expressed concern'?" Kim drummed her nails against the desk. _Now we're getting to the real issue._

"I . . . um . . . I'm sorry, Mrs. Donovan."

"So you're telling me that you aren't going to allow Andrew back at school?" Kim was steaming now. This sounded just like what she and Shane had gone through with Eve. "I want to meet with you and school board - as soon as possible."

She could almost see the man cringe. Kim could tell his type just from the phone call. He was a coward, who caved to pressure. _Well, he has not seen pressure yet._ "Um . . . yes . . . well I do have an opening at 11-"

"Eleven this morning will be just fine," Kim said. "My hus -Andrew's father and I will be there and I fully expect that we will resolve this so that my son can return to school immediately."

"Um . . . yes . . . I guess I'll see you then."

"Thank you." Kim slammed down the phone. She saw Simmons raise an eyebrow, but he said nothing. Kim knew she had to tell Andrew that he would not be going to school and dreaded the look on his face when she told him. She headed out of the kitchen and into the foyer where she ran smack into Andrew as he was barreling towards the kitchen.

"Whoa there," Kim said. "Where's the fire?"

"I hafta eat breakfast before school, Mom," Andrew said breathlessly.

Kim sighed. Kneeling down she looked in Andrew's sparking eyes. "I'm afraid there's been a change in plans, Andrew. You won't be able to go to school today."

"Why not?" Andrew asked, the sparkle leaving his eyes.

"There are just a few things that your daddy and I need to talk to the school about before you can go back."

"So can I go tomorrow?" Andrew sounded hopeful.

Kim did not want to mislead her son or have him be disappointed if she and Shane could not work things out with the school. "I'm not sure yet, honey. But hopefully it will be very soon." She forced a smile on her face. "Why don't you go into the kitchen and have that breakfast you were talking about? I know Simmons made it special for you."

"No!" Andrew yelled. "If I can't go to school, I don't want it." Turning away from Kim he ran back up the stairs towards his room.

Kim was about to follow him when the doorbell rang. _Great. What else is going to happen this morning_? Before she could answer, Mike suddenly appeared from the other room.

"Let me get that, Ms. Brady."

"Right. I guess that's what you are here for."

Mike nodded and walked to the door. He looked out the peephole and then cautiously opened it.

"Package for a Ms. Kimberly Brady," the uniformed deliveryman said.

"Thank you," Mike said, signing the paper on the man's clipboard.

Mike took the package and examined it closely. When he was finished he handed it to Kim. "Do you recognize the return address?"

Kim looked at the package. There was no name as a return address, just a P.O. box from New York City.

"No," she said. "But I ordered some things recently from a company in New York. This is probably them."

Mike nodded and Kim carefully opened the package, suddenly feeling paranoid about what she might find inside. When the package was open, Kim looked inside. There was nothing but a bunch of crumpled up newspapers and a set of keys. Pulling the keys out, she saw the "SD" on the key chain. _They must be Shane's_.

"I guess somebody must have found these and sent them back," Kim said, completely confused. She would have to ask Shane about them later. Remembering that Andrew was upstairs and upset, Kim tossed the keys in her purse and headed up the stairs. She could only hope that Shane would make it home in time to attend the meeting with the school. And if he did not? Well, then, he was really going to have some explaining to do.


	158. Chapter 157

Steve cursed as he looked at his watch. It was 9:15 a.m., and he could see the line of men waiting outside Simmons Freight. There must have been 30 of them there already. Jobs were hard to come by on the riverfront these days and word obviously had gotten out that Simmons was hiring.

If not for Bo, Steve would not have even made it there by 9:30 a.m. After finally being released by the ISA and going to the Fish Market to smooth things over with Caroline, Steve had gone home. He had hoped to shower, change, and maybe even take a short nap.

Arriving home, he had listened to the messages on the machine. He cringed as he heard several from Kayla. He could tell she was worried and a little angry. He could only hope that she had received his message at her hotel.

Mixed in with the messages from Kayla was one from Bo left the previous evening. Apparently, Bo's buddy had let him know that Simmons Freight had changed the time for the interviews for the temporary positions to 9:00 a.m. - exactly five minutes before Steve received Bo's message.

Cursing Shane and the ISA for keeping him out all night, Steve had hastily grabbed his things and headed out the door. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before and, thanks to the ISA, was sporting a couple of nice tears in his shirt and jeans. He could only hope that Simmons Freight did not care if the guys throwing freight looked good.

Steve walked past the line of men and found the Simmons Freight employee who was taking down names and handing out the employment applications. Ignoring the employee's pointed comment about the time, Steve took his application and found a spot at the end of the line.

Feeling like it was futile, Steve nevertheless began working on the employment application. He filled in the personal information, then stopped when he reached the section titled "employment history."

_Please provide all employment in the last 5 years starting with the most recent employment first._

Steve provided the employer - Salem Police Department - and the dates of employment. Then he stopped again.

_Reason for leaving employment._

How the hell was he supposed to answer that question? He did not quit and he was not fired. Being presumed dead did not seem like an appropriate answer either. And claiming he was injured or on "medical leave" would be a lie. Skipping that question for the time being, he listed Abe and Roman as references and moved on to the questions about the next job.

It took Steve a minute to remember his last employment prior to joining the Salem PD. So much time had been spent dealing with Marina, then dealing with Victor, Kayla's trial and imprisonment, and Stephanie's kidnapping. But, prior to all that, he had been employed by the ISA.

Steve chuckled a bit at the thought. Given all that had happened, it was hard to believe he had once carried ISA credentials. Nonetheless, he filled out the information requested and even listed Shane as a reference. It was not like they were likely to contact him anyway. Under "reason for leaving employment" Steve wrote down "laid off." _What the hell_, he thought to himself. The job had ended after all.

Moving on, Steve listed his job as Saxton's clothing store. He doubted the old fuddy duddy who had managed the place would give him a good reference if contacted, but considering he was looking for a freight job, that might not be such a bad thing.

For the next section, Steve listed "Self-employed." He figured that pretty much covered his days working at the community center, hustling pool, and even his less savory days working for Victor. If Simmons Freight wanted more information he would just deal with it in the interview.

Lastly, Steve listed his employment with Allied Freight. He debated whether that company's seedy reputation would outweigh the fact that Steve actually had experience in the industry, but ultimately decided to list it anyway.

Having completed his application, Steve waited impatiently as the line moved slowly towards the front of the building. The longer Steve stood, the more he felt the exhaustion from the prior day and night set in. He was tempted to just leave. After all, as he had told Kayla the day before, it was just a temporary warehouse job. But it was still a job, and Steve needed to start providing for his family again.

After more than an hour, Steve was finally led into a small interview room. Inside, seated behind a desk, was a young man who looked barely old enough to shave. He was wearing a suit, tie and smug smile.

Taking Steve's application, the man motioned for Steve to sit in a chair opposite the desk. "Good afternoon, Mr. . . . Johnson," the man said, looking down at Steve's application. He had a slight southern accent. "I'm Allen Simmons. I'll be the manager of the temporary crew that we are putting together."

Steve nodded, but remained silent as the Simmons kid reviewed the application. It was not hard to figure out what was going on. Somebody's daddy had decided the kid needed to start getting involved in the family business and had shipped him up to Salem from wherever the family lived down south.

After several minutes, the kid looked up. "So . . . I see from your application that you used to be with the Salem PD." The kid's tone was clearly doubtful. "But you failed to explain why you left. Do you have something to hide?"

Steve did his best not to roll his eye. The last thing he needed today was a grilling from a snot-nosed rich boy. Taking a deep breath, he said, "It's kind of a complicated story. I was caught in an explosion during an investigation and was presumed dead. I only returned home a few weeks ago."

The kid scoffed. "Really, Mr. Johnson. You expect me to believe that story? Just like I'm supposed to believe that you are a former ISA agent? Someone who-" He paused, staring at Steve's patch. "Someone like you?"

"Yeah, you should believe it," Steve said, trying to keep his temper in check. "It's true. Call Abe Carver or Roman Brady at the Salem PD if you don't believe me."

"I don't believe that will be necessary," the kid replied smugly. "I think it's clear that you don't meet the qualifications for this job."

"Don't meet the qualifications?" Steve nearly yelled. "It's a job throwing freight. I've done it before and I can do it again."

"Yes . . . I see that you worked for Allied Freight several years ago. I'm also very aware of what most of that freight involved." The kid sneered. "I assure you this company does thing very differently."

It was all Steve could do not to reach across the desk and shut the kid up with his own tie. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Steve tried to start again. "Look Mr. Simmons. I've thrown freight before and was even the foreman of a crew. I'm reliable and responsible, and you can verify that with the Salem PD. Just give me a chance and I'll prove that you made the right decision."

"Reliable and responsible?" The kid sneered again, obviously enjoying the newfound power he held. "According to the intake sheet you showed up 15 minutes late for the sign-up. And it looks like you were out all night before you showed up. That's hardly my idea of a reliable and responsible employee."

This time Steve did not bother to stop his laughter. "Hell, half your crew is going to show up looking like me on any given day."

"Not on my crew, Mr. Johnson." The kid's tone remained haughty. "My crew will be professional, responsible, and fully able to perform its duties."

"Right," Steve said, standing up and leaning across the desk. "Let me know how that works for you. And when you run out of guys in a week, give me a call. Maybe I'll still be interested in the job."

"I wouldn't wait for that call, Mr. Johnson." A cruel smile passed across the kid's face. "I want only able-bodied men on my crew. I'm afraid your . . . disability would be detrimental to the safety of our warehouse."

A slow smile spread across Steve's face. Before the kid could move, Steve had grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket and pulled him to his feet. Steve's smile broadened as he saw fear cross the young man's face. Leaning in closer, Steve said quietly, "The only person who's safety is at issue right now is you."

Steve watched as the kid struggled to maintain his superior demeanor. Finally the kid squeaked, "If you don't let me go immediately, I'll have you arrested for assault."

Steve laughed harshly and shoved the man back down into his chair. "Good luck with that, Mister Simmons. I'll be at home if the cops need to find me." He grabbed his application off the desk and crumpled it in his hand before turning and storming out the door.

Outside, Steve marched angrily towards his car. He had not thought it was possible for the day to get any worse after he left ISA headquarters, but clearly he had been wrong. And it was not even half-over yet.


	159. Chapter 158

"We had an incident last night at the house." Ivan Marais was even harder to understand than normal. On top of his normal, thick Eastern European accent, he seemed tense and nervous.

Lawrence stared through the plexiglass at Ivan before glancing at the guards in the visitors room. Neither of the guards were on Lawrence's payroll, so they both had to be particularly circumspect. Not that they would ever speak freely here; not with Donovan probably bugging this conversation.

"What kind of incident?" Lawrence finally asked.

"Something of the three-letter kind," Ivan replied. "But that was only after security detected an intruder, several of the house smoke detectors went off, and the Salem Fire Department evacuated the house."

So a carefully orchestrated infiltration operation, Lawrence thought. "Did our friendly local Captain take part?"

"Not openly," Ivan said.

_Perhaps not_, Lawrence thought, but he assumed Donovan was behind everything. Lawrence sat back in his chair. "So tell me more."

Ivan seemed to think a little. "A few hours after the fire department departed, we received more visitors. They seemed very keen to see your wine cellar."

_Did they_? Lawrence leaned forward. Nobody in the ISA could possibly have known how he had circumvented customs inspectors. The wine cellar contained bottles containing the virus and its antidote. If the authorities found those bottles, they could link Lawrence to the virus. "Tell me they did not find any of my bottles to their linking. I doubt our friends care much for old vintages."

"Not at all, sir." Ivan lowered his voice. "I took the liberty of ensuring that a few of our special vintages were protected. We would not have wanted them damaged." As Lawrence breathed a little easier, Ivan added, "I also had the exterminators come through afterwards. They found quite an infestation."

_What_? Lawrence tried to stop his eyes from widening. _How could the ISA have planted bugs in his house_? He forced himself to remain calm. "Are you confident the exterminators did their job?"

"Very," said Ivan. "But to be certain, sir, I intend to have them return later."

"And our friends. . . . They did not find anything?"

"Of that, I am equally certain." Ivan shook his head. "I must admit that the incident seemed quite clumsy."

"Clumsy?" Lawrence wanted an explanation.

"As I said, just before the smoke alarms, our regular security sweep detected something in a particularly notable room off the west corridor."

The west corridor housed Lawrence's office, which also housed the entrance to the basement. Lawrence got the point. Someone had infiltrated Lawrence's office. "I assume the 'fire' caused little damage."

"Very limited."

Lawrence translated. The smoke detectors were a ruse to protect whoever was about to be caught in Lawrence's office. It was a decent plan. Just as an agent would be caught, send in other agents masquerading as firefighters to clear the path to the exit. But if the house was so well bugged, why didn't the ISA know where the security guards were?

"The firefighters claimed one of their men was overcome by smoke," Ivan said. "However, he seemed quite reluctant to leave the house." There was a pause before Ivan added, "One of the guards was certain that the man had. . . ." He did not say the words, but cupped one hand over an eye.

Lawrence could not stop a sly grin. "Did he now?" _Well, well, well. So Mr. Johnson was not going to go away quietly_. "You should have mentioned that before, Ivan. Why do you invariably keep the most interesting information until the end?" Now the big question was whether Johnson was working with the ISA or if he was pursuing his own course of action.

Maybe it did not matter. If Ivan removed the virus and antidote, there was nothing at the house that could implicate Lawrence in any criminal activity. Ivan would have already alerted the research staff in Monserrat to devise a new way to transport the toxin. That was a shame. Jacaranda Winery was a rather effective front, but Lawrence's people could devise other ways to smuggle in the toxin when it was perfected.

Unfortunately, that was not something he could discuss with Ivan unless Lawrence wanted Donovan to heard his plans. Lawrence would need to use his conduits to carry information about the toxin. That or Lawrence needed to get out of prison soon. _Speaking of which_.

Lawrence leaned close to the plexiglass. "I would hate for the terribly unfortunate incident regarding Mr. Marchand to delay my parole hearing." Lawrence had seen the reports on Marchand's murder in the morning newspaper, which meant that Ivan had taken care of matters perfectly. "I hope you can find someone appropriate to take his place."

"Of course, sir." Ivan smiled slightly.

"Yes. . . ." Lawrence chuckled as he thought about what he would say next. "You know, Ivan. I think once I am done here, perhaps we should consider a little vacation. I think we could use a small break from Salem."

He could almost picture the ISA agents listening to that little tidbit and scrambling to try to guess where in the world Lawrence might go. But that was part of the fun, wasn't it? Besides, leaving Salem for a little while did make sense considering the questionable security at the house.

Of course, Lawrence had every intention of returning. He had already left far too many loose ends in Salem. But he would take care of them - once his new project was perfected.


	160. Chapter 159

"Do you have any idea what a disaster this is?" Tarrington said, his voice midway between exasperation and fury. It was a rhetorical question so Shane said nothing. He was going to receive a lecture, so he might as well get it over with. "An absolute disaster, Shane. I've had no less than a dozen calls asking what kind of outfit we're running here. When you start trying to drag federal judges out of bed in the middle of the night to sign search warrants, word gets around."

"We had no choice," Shane said.

"Except the warrant turned up nothing." Tarrington continued to pace around the field director's office, which had been turned over to the ISA Chief the minute he arrived on his private jet from Washington. Shane suspected the field director was just outside the door, listening to every word. "I got calls from the Chief of Staff, the Deputy Chief of Staff, the directors of the CIA, FBI, and Secret Service and even the blasted Secretary of the Interior."

Shane raised an eyebrow. "The Secretary of the Interior?"

"Yes," Tarrington said, as he stopped and glared at Shane. "He's golf buddies with Judge Fredericks - the judge who told you to wait until the court opened this morning. Oh, and I also got calls from the Chief Judges of three different district courts. They don't like it when we go judge hunting."

"I was only 'judge hunting' because it was an emergency," Shane explained. "We just needed a judge who would get out of bed for a few minutes to listen to the request and sign the necessary forms."

"You should have waited," Tarrington yelled.

Shane sighed. He had already explained this, but he figured there was no harm trying once more. "If we waited, we would have given Ivan Marais even more time to destroy the evidence. Yes, if I'd known what Steve was up to, we could've planned ahead, but I had no choice."

"You did have a choice." Tarrington started to pace again. "You could have left well-enough alone. If Johnson chose to break the law, so be it."

"And leave him to be caught by Alamain's people?" Shane said. "Tarrington . . . they would've killed him."

Tarrington nodded. "I know, but it wouldn't have jeopardized the operation." He sighed. "You're letting your personal feelings interfere, Shane. You're a good agent. You're one of the best we've ever had, but you cannot put personal feelings before the operation."

"Personal feelings?" Now Shane was growing exasperated. "This has nothing to do with my personal feelings. I would not leave a man to be murdered, especially one who's given as much to the ISA as Steve has." Shane stood up. _How could Tarrington even think like that_?

"Sometimes you have to cut your losses, Shane." Tarrington studied him. "I know that's always been hard for you to accept. You should've done it in Iraq when Malik Abbas was hurt-"

Shane shook his head. They had gone over this a few times since his return to Salem, but Shane disagreed. "There was a chance he could've survived."

"But he slowed you down and nearly got you and Salim killed," Tarrington said. "You're only alive by sheer luck. That was a tactical error, and last night, you made the same mistake - putting the life of one man above the entire mission."

Shane took a few deep breaths to compose himself, before he spoke. "It wasn't just one man, Tarrington. It was Steve Johnson - a man who's given us almost as much information on Lawrence Alamain as we've managed to obtain from dozens of operatives around the world. Without Steve, we wouldn't even know that Alamain's trying to develop a toxin."

"But we already had that information. You didn't need to let Johnson go and ruin the ongoing surveillance."

"Fine," Shane snapped. "Okay, I shouldn't have done it. I should've let Steve be murdered and then anything else he might know would go with him to whatever hole Alamain's people would have dumped his body in. Are you satisfied now, Tarrington?"

Tarrington stared at Shane for a long moment, then shook his head and crossed his arms. "Sometimes, Shane, I think getting involved with Kimberly was the worst thing that ever happened to you."

"This has nothing to do with my personal life," Shane repeated.

"Perhaps. And perhaps not. But there was time when you understood what was necessary to accomplish a mission." Tarrington shook his head again, but seemed to have reached the end of his anger. "So tell me what you plan to do to deal with this disaster?"

Shane leaned back in his chair. "We'll need to regroup," he said. "We know Lawrence is developing a toxin and Dr. Bowers and her team in D.C. have some ideas about what we might be facing. I want to have her meet with someone at University Hospital-"

"What?" Tarrington's eyes widened in surprise. "That could cause-"

"It would be completely confidential," Shane said. "Look . . . Lawrence Alamain has every reason to hate Salem. If he decides to test his toxin somewhere, it's going to be here. We need someone at the hospital who can alert us to any unusual cases."

"And who would that someone be?"

Shane paused. "Carly Manning."

"You mean Katarina Von Leuschner? The woman who lied to you and all those people who were nearly killed in Alamainia?"

"Yes," Shane said evenly. "And also the woman who manufactured the cure for the virus." That shut Tarrington up. "You asked me to explain my plans, and bringing in Carly is one aspect. We already have men going into the prison to see if we can figure out how Lawrence is getting his instructions out. And we will turn our focus to what our foreign operatives are managing to learn at Alamain's research facilities."

"And the house?"

Shane shook his head. "I think it unlikely that Lawrence will use that house again. He'll decide it's too vulnerable. The biggest problem we face is that we'll need to try to figure out how Lawrence plans to bring the toxin or its components into the country. We've issued alerts to customs, every airport, port and border crossing to look for"Jacaranda" wine, but unless we get exceedingly lucky in the next few days, we have to figure he won't use the wine bottle trick again."

"And what about Johnson?" Tarrington asked.

Shane quirked an eyebrow. "What about him?"

"He's an impediment, Shane. We cannot let him interfere again." Tarrington turned away for a moment. "Besides, your plan for him failed. He was supposed to tell Kimberly what he remembered and she was supposed to pass it on to you. Obviously, that did not happen."

Shane had a bad feeling about where Tarrington was going with this.

Tarrington turned back to face Shane. "I'm having Johnson removed from Salem - as a matter of national security."

"You can't," Shane said, leaping to his feet.

"Of course I can." Tarrington frowned. "Don't let your personal sympathy for Johnson get in the way of what's right for this mission."

Shane stood firm. "Steve's been through more than most of us could have survived and he's just getting his life back. Okay, yes, he interfered last night. . . ." Shane barely knew what he was saying, but the words came unbidden. "But he's right about one thing. We are not going to nail Lawrence Alamain playing by the book. We've been chasing our tails for the past year and all we managed to do was put him away for a few months - and that was because Kimberly tossed the book away."

"Shane. . . ." Tarrington said his name slowly, an obvious warning.

"No." Shane felt his jaw tighten. "I won't let you do it. Steve has been through enough."

"Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment," Tarrington said, sternly. "I understand that Johnson was once part of your family, but you cannot let that overtake reason."

"I'm not." Even as he responded, though, Shane felt a twinge of doubt. Why was he defending Steve? Only a few hours earlier, Shane had debated locking Steve away. Was he letting his emotions control him? Was he thinking about Kayla and Stephanie, and how much they had already suffered? _So what if I am. It's still the right thing to do_. Of course, "right" and "wrong" hardly mattered in the upper-echelon of the ISA, so Shane tried to come up with something that would appeal to Tarrington. "Look, Tarrington. . . . Even if you have doubts about whether Steve's told us everything, I can assure you that the one way to guarantee we don't get anything else from him is to lock him away."

"And you suggest it's preferable to leave him out there as a loose cannon?" Tarrington looked even more doubtful than he sounded.

"Yes," Shane insisted. "There's nothing he can do at this point to undermine our plans. It's not like he'll be at the prison or looking into the Alamain operation outside the U.S."

The room fell silent and Shane could tell that his logic had little effect. _Time to speak in a language that Tarrington will have to understand. _"And it's certainly preferable to the public relations nightmare you'll create if Steve is taken into custody. His brother owns a newspaper and you can be sure that he will make sure the national press picks up on the story about how the ISA has removed a man from his family in the 'interest of national security.' That story will then be followed by numerous others showing how Steve was believed killed in the line of duty and finally returned to his family only to have the ISA take him away again."

Tarrington crossed his arms. "The press would need to know who took Johnson. Or do you think we're incapable of making a man disappear?"

Shane swallowed hard. "I can guarantee the press will know."

The implications of his words obviously registered, as Tarrington studied Shane. "You know what would happen if you leaked something like that."

_I'd be kicked out of the ISA and possibly arrested for leaking classified information. _Yes, Shane knew. "It's not very different than what I put on the line when I accepted the mission to free Steve, is it?" Shane knew he had Tarrington on the defensive and moved in for the kill. "If you think you had angry phone calls from cabinet secretaries this morning, just think about the calls you'll get when the story of the ISA kidnapping a U.S. citizen hits the front page of the Washington Post."

Tarrington gave Shane a look full of disapproval. "You've gone soft, Shane."

Shane ignored the gibe and glared back at his boss. He had never stood up to Tarrington like this before. Usually, even when he disagreed with his boss, Shane had his say and then complied with orders. "I didn't risk my life and career for Steve just so you could do something equally worse to him."

"And you're willing to risk your career for him again?" Tarrington's threat was plain.

"If that's what it takes to stop you." Shane was not bluffing; he would go to the press - to Jack Devereaux no less - if necessary. Still, playing a game of chicken with the Chief of the ISA was a game few would attempt.

And fewer would win.

Tarrington looked away. "Very well, Shane. You win for now." He looked back and eyed Shane again. "I just hope you don't live to regret it."


	161. Chapter 160

Kayla stepped into the cab and checked her watch. She was surprised to see that it was only 2:30 p.m. The entire hearing had taken less than a half an hour. Well, she thought to herself, that made sense given that she had made her opening statement, answered two or three questions, and then given her closing statement.

She had been surprised by the lack of questions and frustrated by the absence of any hint of what the board was thinking. She had no more idea of what her professional future held than she had when she walked into the hearing. The only bit of good news was that the board had promised a decision "soon." Whatever that meant.

Traffic was light in the middle of the afternoon and Kayla soon reached her hotel. She took the elevator to her room, wondering what she was going to do with the rest of the afternoon and evening. She had booked her flight home for the following morning, because she had thought the hearing would take place later in the afternoon.

She contemplated calling the airline and seeing if she could change her flight. But she knew that changing the ticket this late would be expensive, and she would probably have to pay for the second night of the hotel anyway. But it was not just the cost that kept her from making the change. She knew that going home meant confronting the issues between she and Steve head-on, and she did not know if she was ready for that.

When she entered her hotel room, she saw the flashing message light. Picking up the phone, she retrieved the message and heard Steve's voice.

"Hey baby, it's just me. It's about three o'clock, and I just thought I might catch you before your hearing, but I guess not. Little Sweetness and I are just getting ready to go to the park. I'll call you later this evening. I love you, Sweetness."

Sighing, Kayla hung up the phone and wondered if someone was trying to tell her something with all the missed connections between Steve and her on this trip.

Kayla looked around the room. She did not want to sit there all afternoon; she needed a distraction. Suddenly, she remembered the advertisement for the State Fair she had seen during the cab ride back to the hotel. It was going on this week and was at the fairgrounds just outside of town.

_That's the perfect afternoon distraction_. After a quick change of clothes and a call home to leave another message for Steve, telling him to call around 6 p.m., she headed back out of the hotel.

It was not long before Kayla found herself at the entry of the State Fair. She purchased her ticket and quickly immersed herself in the sounds and smells of the fair. Walking past the gates, her mind drifted back to the last time she had been at the State Fair.

She had been about eight or nine, and her folks had taken the whole family on a weekend trip to the fair. It was one of the few times that she could remember her father closing the market on a Saturday. She later learned her parents had paid for the trip with money they had been saving for new bedroom furniture. It was one of the many sacrifices her parents had made for their kids, but never mentioned.

As she walked the grounds, smiling at the children enjoying the rides, she remembered other things from that trip. Roman and Bo fighting about something or another. Kayla had stepped into settle things between them as she always had.

Then she remembered Kim begging her father for a scarf from one of the craft booths and her Pop being unable to resist a plea from his "best and brightest." Kayla remembered watching as her father purchased the scarf, placed it around Kim's neck, and commented about how beautiful she looked, while Kayla had stood just a few feet away. Her father had never noticed Kayla standing there. After Kim and Shawn had walked to another booth, Kayla had looked at the scarves, imagining her father buying one for her and looking at her the way he had looked at Kim. Somehow, even then, she had known it would not have been the same.

A voice calling her name brought Kayla from her memories. She looked around and saw a dark-haired man walking in her direction.

"Kayla . . . Kayla Brady?" he called.

She looked closely at the man, then smiled and called, "Charlie Rogers? Is that you?"

Charlie stopped before Kayla and smiled down at her. "Kayla Brady. What on earth are you doing here?"

"Just taking in the sights," Kayla said. "What about you? The last I heard you were a fancy attorney in Chicago."

"I'm working in the governor's office now," Charlie replied. "Are you living in the capitol now?"

"No. I'm still living in Salem. . . . And it's Kayla Johnson now." Kayla smiled as she flashed her ring at Charlie.

"So I guess some guy was smarter than me, and snapped you up when he had the chance, huh?"

Kayla chuckled at the twinkle in Charlie's eye. Charlie had been one of Kayla's major crushes in high school. But Charlie had only had eyes for her older sister.

"You could say that," Kayla said, thinking of how long it had taken for her to get Steve to "smarten up."

"Is your husband here somewhere?" Charlie asked. "I'd love to meet the man who just broke my heart."

Kayla laughed at Charlie's comment. He had always been such a flirt. "Just broke your heart, huh? I bet you haven't even thought of me since high school graduation. But to answer your question, no. Steve's back in Salem with our daughter. I'm heading home tomorrow."

"Well then, I guess I have you all to myself tonight." Charlie wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"You're impossible, Charlie," Kayla said, laughing. "You always were a shameless flirt. Although, as I recall, you spent more time flirting with my sister than you ever did with me."

"Ouch." Charlie clutched his heart. "You wound me." Offering Kayla his arm, he said, "Allow me to attempt to make up for the errors of my childhood and accompany you on your sightseeing."

Kayla rolled her eyes, but took Charlie's offered arm. "It's going to be a quick tour. I have to leave in about an hour."

"Why, Ms. Kayla, do you have another date tonight?" Charlie asked with a raised brow.

"Something better," Kayla replied, raising her own brow. "A phone call with my husband."

Laughing, Charlie began walking down the streets of the fair. "Don't worry. I promise to deliver you back to the entrance in an hour - unless I can persuade you to run away with me before then."

Kayla joined Charlie's laugh as they walked along. It felt like forever since she had shared such a carefree moment with a friend, and she decided to enjoy it. She could forget about her hearing and the craziness at home in Salem for at least an hour.


	162. Chapter 161

Steve slowly pushed Stephanie in the swing. He wondered for a moment if she was too young to be on it, but she fit in the seat okay and he was not pushing too hard. She actually seemed to love it; her gleeful laughs echoed through the park. But he should not have expected anything less; he could already tell Stephanie was fearless.

He smiled slightly as he watched her. _At least one of us is having a good day_. He had thought taking Stephanie to the park would be a good distraction. After the interview, he had gone back to Caroline's to pick up Stephanie and had then gone home for a shower. While Stephanie was down for her nap, he had tried to do the same, but all he could think about was that idiot interviewer. And then his mind had gone back to the night before and his arguments with Shane - and all of his anger and frustration at getting so close to Lawrence came storming back. So he had given up on trying to sleep and had decided an outing to the park might help distract him.

But even here, the thought of Alamain getting away made him furious. Unbidden, a doubt crept into his thoughts. Maybe he should have gone to Shane rather than busting into Alamain's on his own. Maybe then, they would have gotten the wine bottles. Steve quickly pushed that thought away. The ISA would have just screwed it up anyway. The only chance he had was by going in on his own. And he could have done it if Shane and the ISA had not interfered. He remembered Shane insisting that the ISA had saved Steve's life, but Steve knew he was capable of taking care of himself and that he could have gotten out of there.

"Papa!"

Steve looked down and realized that he had stopped pushing the swing. "Sorry, Little Sweetness," he said and began pushing the swing some more. He tried to focus on Stephanie rather than Alamain, Shane, the ISA, or Simmons Freight.

Of course, he could not ignore Kayla. All of their missed calls left him wondering how angry she would be when they finally talked. He wanted to be there for her. Even if he could not attend the hearing because of that stupid interview, at least he should have been available by phone to give her some support.

_But Shane screwed that up too._

"Uncle Steve," came a voice from across the playground.

Steve looked up to see Shawn Douglas racing toward him. He stopped the swing momentarily. "Hey, Lil Man," Steve said, as Shawn Douglas stopped and raised his hand.

"Gimme five!" Shawn D. yelled, even before Steve could. They slapped hands, and Steve laughed. Just as they finished, Bo walked up.

"No wonder," he said, shaking his head. "Don't run off like that, Shawn Douglas - even if it is to see this no-good lout of an uncle of yours."

"You mean this good-looking, rakish devil?" Steve joked.

Bo rolled his eyes, walked over to Stephanie, and lifted her out of the swing. In a teasing voice, he said, "I know it'll be hard, but you can overcome your pop. You'll have your aunts and uncles to help."

Steve crossed his arms, trying to look insulted. "At least her pop isn't named 'Beauregard.' If that's not a handicap, I don't know what is." When Bo laughed, Steve grinned and took Stephanie from Bo's arms. "So what brings you to this fine establishment today?"

Bo leaned over and whispered. "A hyperactive four-year-old. Just you wait. And if you have a boy. . . ." He shook his head. Then he studied Steve closely. "You know you look like hell."

"Tell me about it," Steve said. "It hasn't been the best 24 hours."

As Shawn Douglas took off for the jungle gym, Bo patted Steve on the shoulder. "Tell me what's going on? I assume it's not Kayla. Her hearing shouldn't even be over yet." He paused. "I guess the interview at Simmons didn't go that well."

_That's an understatement_, Steve thought. "Simmons Junior - or whoever the kid was-"

"That's almost enough right there," Bo said. "Rich kid, family business. . . . You didn't hurt him too bad, did you?"

Steve chuckled. "Just scared him a little. He didn't want to believe a nine-month period of unemployment was due to 'presumed death.'"

Bo laughed. "Same old Steve." He fell silent and studied Steve a little. "But something tells me there's more going on than just a bad job interview with some rich kid that isn't half the man you are."

That was one of the problems with having old friends who knew you extremely well, Steve thought.

"Out with it, Steve," Bo said.

Steve hesitated, not sure how much to say about the night before. He had promised to work with Bo to get Alamain, so Bo might be angry to find out that Steve tried to do the job solo. On top of that, Bo and Shane were friends. Steve decided to be circumspect.

"Let's just say that I'm not seeing eye-to-eye with a certain ex-brother-in-law of yours," he finally said.

"About Lawrence?" Bo seemed to know the score.

Steve nodded. "Look, it's probably not a good thing to talk about it here." He glanced around the park and the parents with their kids. "Let's just say that I'm having a bad day and leave it at that. It's probably mostly because Kayla's away."

Well . . . I think I've got an idea how to fix that," Bo said, breaking into a grin.

Steve was not sure he liked the sound of that. Somehow when he and Bo got ideas, Steve wound up getting lectures from Kayla.

"It's not like that." Bo must have seen the grimace cross Steve's face. "Look, you need a lift. Let's get a bite to eat, drink a couple of beers, and maybe play some pool."

"I cant," Steve said. "Or did you miss the part about Kayla being away. I've got to watch Stephanie."

"You can leave her with my mom. I'm just talking a couple of hours."

It sounded tempting, but Steve had already pushed his luck with Caroline the night before. "I don't know-"

"Come on," Bo said. "Ma loves to babysit. And it's just a few hours. I'll won't even keep you out past your bedtime."

"Har de har har." Steve rolled his eyes. But Bo was right about one thing; a little break would be nice. And if Steve spent the night at home, he would probably just stew over everything that had gone wrong since Kayla left. "All right, but just a few hours and only if Caroline's okay with it."


	163. Chapter 162

Kim picked up the last of the toys and set them on the shelf. She had been thankful to have several appointments that afternoon to take her mind off the morning, but as she cleaned up the abuse clinic, her anger and frustration had returned.

The meeting with Mr. Brown at the school had gone terribly. He had refused to budge and had spent most of the 20 minutes she was there talking to her like she was a child who knew nothing about security. That would have been avoided had Shane bothered to show up. Shane would never have left the principal treat her like that, but, evidently, whatever was going on at work was more important than his child's education and welfare.

She let out a deep breath, hoping to release some of the heat that was rising in her. There was no way he could have just forgotten about it. Kim had called the ISA office immediately after her morning call to the principal. The secretary said Shane was unavailable, but Kim had left a detailed message and emphasized the importance of Shane being at the school at 11 a.m. Kim knew the ISA well enough to know that the message had been delivered.

Drumming her fingernails against the top of the shelf, Kim could not stem her anger. She needed to talk with Shane; she needed to force him to accept that Andrew was his priority. The ISA could go to hell for all she was concerned.

She picked up the phone, dialed the field office, and waited for the secretary to answer. Shane was not there. No, the secretary did not know where he was or when he would be returning.

Kim then dialed Shane's car phone. Maybe he would answer there. No luck.

Her last chance was that he had returned home. Maybe he had. It was about 5 p.m., and if the ISA secretary did not know when he would be returning, perhaps he had finished for the day. Or was it for the day before.

"Simmons," Kim said, when the butler answered the phone. "Is Shane there?"

"No, Ms. Brady," Simmons replied. "Master Shane did call earlier though."

"What time?" Kim asked.

There was a pause. "I'd say it was around noon."

_Noon_? Just a little after her run-in with the principal. "I see. . . ." Kim felt the heat rising again.

"Yes, ma'am," Simmons said. "He indicated that he would be tied up for the rest of the day and probably all night. He said that he likely would not return until tomorrow."

Kim fumed. _Just great_. _So I get to be the one to tell Andrew that he can't go back to school at all. _"That's just wonderful," Kim muttered.

Simmons asked, "Would you like to give me a message in case he calls again?"

_Would 'You're a dead man' be inappropriate_? Kim wondered. "No . . . No message. I'm going to get Jeannie and will be home shortly. Oh, and would you please locate the telephone number for the tutor Shane hired. Unfortunately, her services will be needed a bit longer."

"Yes, ma'am." Simmons voice softened. "Master Andrew will be very disappointed."

Kim pictured her son's reaction when she broke the latest news. "Yes, he will. Anyway, I'll be home soon." She hung up without waiting for another response.

For a few minutes, Kim paced around the clinic. Shane obviously had better things to do than deal with their son's crushing disappointment, so Kim was on her own for the time being. Then she got an idea. Returning to the phone, she pulled her phone book out of her purse, and looked up Mickey Horton's office number. After a minute, the receptionist answered and apologized. Mickey was out too.

_Of course. Why would anyone be in their office today when I need to reach them_? Trying to hide her frustration, Kim just said, "Would you tell Mickey that I need to see him as soon as possible to discuss a matter?" The secretary mentioned an opening in Mickey's schedule the following day. "Sure. That's perfect." Kim wrote down the time.

Hanging up, Kim felt that, at least, she was doing something. Maybe she would tell Shane about the meeting with Mickey, but maybe not. If he could not be bothered to show up earlier, why should she expect him to care about Andrew enough to meet with a lawyer?

The little voice in the back of her head tried to reason with her. _Shane loves Andrew_, it said, but right now, Kim was not hearing it. It took more than a couple of stories a week or an expensive gift to be a good father. It took making your children your priority and not disappearing for days on end whenever work called or things got difficult.

The voice still told her that she was being unfair, but Kim silenced it. As she gathered her purse and locked up the clinic for the night, she could not care less about fairness. All that mattered was her son. And if that meant protecting his interests by herself, she would.


	164. Chapter 163

Carrying Stephanie, Steve followed Bo and Shawn Douglas into the Brady home. He still was not sure that asking Caroline to babysit again was a good idea. He knew she loved spending time with her grandchildren, but he'd definitely pushed his luck the last couple of days.

Standing in the entryway, he watched as Caroline greeted Bo and Shawn Douglas with a smile. Looking up, she smiled at Steve and said, "What are you standing over there for? Come on in for goodness sakes."

Steve smiled sheepishly and moved into the kitchen. Bo rolled his eyes and spoke to his mother.

"Steve's just nervous because he wants to see if you can watch Stephanie for a bit so we can go shoot some pool. He thinks you might be upset at him for asking."

Caroline gave Steve a knowing look, and he shrugged before saying, "I know you've watched Stephanie a lot in the last couple of days. I didn't want to push my luck, but your son here insisted."

Taking Stephanie from Steve, Caroline smiled at her granddaughter and then at Steve. "You know that I'm always happy to spend time with Stephanie and I would never be upset at you for asking." The smile faded from her face. "I only get upset when you don't return on time."

Steve shifted his weight and looked down at the ground. He knew he deserved that, but he also knew he could not really defend himself without stirring up more trouble. So he told Caroline the same thing he had told her that morning.

"I'm sorry about that. It just couldn't be helped." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bo giving him a curious look.

"So you said earlier," Caroline replied. Then she smiled at him. "Luckily, you're one of my favorite sons-in law, so I'll forgive you."

"I'm pretty sure I'm your only son-in-law at the moment." Steve finished that with a wink.

"My point exactly," Caroline said, laughing.

"Thanks . . . I think." Steve laughed as well. Caroline had made her point. He was forgiven for what had happened the night before, but he had better not push his luck too far.

"Did somebody call a family gathering and not tell me?" Steve turned to see Kim standing in the doorway.

"Kimber," Bo called out. He walked over to his sister and gave her a hug and a kiss. "What are you doing here?"

"I just stopped by to pick up Jeannie." Kim smiled at her brother and Steve. "What are you two troublemakers up to?"

Bo and Steve shared a look. "Why does everybody think we're troublemakers?" Steve asked in his best innocent voice.

"I have no idea," Bo said. "We are two fine, upstanding gentlemen. Pillars of the community."

Kim looked at Bo and Steve in silence for a moment, then burst into laughter which was quickly joined by Caroline. Kim rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You need to try that line on somebody who doesn't know you as well as we do."

"Fine," Bo replied in mock indignation. "To answer your question, Steve was just seeing if Ma could watch Stephanie for a little while so we could grab some food and maybe shoot some pool."

"Well that sounds more like it," Kim said, still teasing. She turned to Steve. "I guess Kayla is still out of town. When will she be back?"

"Tomorrow morning," Steve replied. "It can't be soon enough for me." He turned to Caroline. "So are you okay with watching Stephanie for a few hours?"

"You know that I would ordinarily love to watch her." Caroline smiled at the little girl in her arms. "But I have my church meeting tonight and Shawn has to take Max to his Boy Scouts meeting."

"Oh. . . ." Steve had not realized just how much he was looking forward to a few games of pool until that moment. "That's okay. Bo and I will just get together some other time."

"Why don't you just leave Stephanie with me?" Kim asked. "I'd be glad to watch her for a few hours."

Bo smiled at his sister. "Thanks, Kimber. That would be great."

Steve was silent for a moment. "Would . . . would you be watching her here or . . ." His voice trailed off.

"I'd take Stephanie and Jeannie to Shane's," Kim replied. "Andrew would love to see Stephanie and it would be good for him to have another playmate. He's been a little isolated at the house."

"Poor little dude," Steve said. He knew that it could not be easy for Andrew to understand what was going on. Yet, Steve could not seem to make himself say yes. As petty and unfair as it was, he did not want Shane near his daughter.

Kim gave Steve an understanding look. "Tonight would be a particularly good night to have Stephanie there since Shane won't be home until very late - if at all. Having Stephanie to play with would be a good distraction for Andrew."

Steve had a good idea why Shane might not be coming home, and he grinned at the news. "Oh well in that case, you keeping Stephanie is a great idea. I'm sure she'd love to play with Andrew as well."

"Great," Bo chimed in. "It sounds like we are all set. I've got to drop Shawn Douglas off at Mrs. H's and then I'll meet you at the Heart in-" Bo checked his watch. "-say about an hour?"

"Sounds good," Steve replied. "I need to run home and try to call Kayla again, so an hour is perfect."

"See you there." Bo kissed his mother and his sister and headed out the door with Shawn Douglas.

Steve walked over and kissed Stephanie. "You be good, little Sweetness. I'll see you in a few hours." Then he turned to Kim and asked, "Are you sure you are okay with this?"

"I'm fine," Kim replied. "You go have fun - and try to stay out of trouble."

Steve rolled his eye and laughed. "I'll do my best, but your little brother may have a different idea."

Kim smiled. "He usually does."

"Thanks again," Steve said as he headed for the door. "Everything's in the diaper bag. If you need anything, just call the Cheating Heart and I'll see you in a few hours."

"Have fun," Kim and Caroline called out as he walked out the door.

Fun. Grabbing a bite and shooting some pool with Bo did sound like fun, Steve thought. Maybe he could put the events of the previous day aside for a little while and just enjoy some fun with one of his best friends. Maybe a little fun was just what he needed.


	165. Chapter 164

Shane got up and poured himself another cup of coffee. "So are we agreed?" he asked.

"It looks pretty good to me," Neil Curtis said as he studied the file folder with the financial summary for the Immunology Lab. "As long as you and Julie are willing to continue funding at the current levels, I see no reason to discontinue its services."

"Good," Julie said, as Shane turned back to the conference room table. He felt Julie's eyes on him. "Are you sure you're okay, darling?" It had been the fifth time she had asked.

_I must look like hell_, Shane thought. That was hardly surprising. He had been up for two days without sleep, and the days before that had been relatively light in the sleep department following his trip to D.C. and the events at Jeannie's birthday party. Not to mention that he had blackmailed his boss earlier in the day and was still trying to figure out how to salvage the Alamain mission. Toss in a 5:15 p.m. meeting at University Hospital to discuss the Immunology Lab, which had already gone on for close to an hour, and Shane wondered how he was even conscious.

"I assure you I'm fine," Shane said. "Like I said, it was a late night at the office."

Julie leaned forward and had a twinkle in her eye. "Probably some important mission, right? Oh you can tell us."

Ignoring the request, Shane took his seat once more and changed the subject. "There is something else that I would like to raise."

Neil waited. "Go ahead."

"I have something of a side project," Shane said. "I would like it to be done under the auspices of the lab even though it technically doesn't involve a virus . . . and I'd like to utilize one of the staff researchers."

Neil pursed his lips. "Shane, Dr. Bishop's-"

"I don't mean Dr. Bishop." Shane took a sip of the coffee, hoping it could increase his flagging energy. "I'd like to use Dr. Manning."

"Carly?" Julie looked surprised. She must have been thinking about Alamania and how Shane had repeatedly warned the other Salemites not to trust Carly.

"I don't know about that," Neil said slowly. "I mean Carly has her hospital duties and her virus research. I'm not sure we could spare her. Maybe if I had a better idea about this 'side project.'"

Shane shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I can't discuss the nature of the work." Neil and Julie both got the message and exchanged looks with one another. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't absolutely necessary to have someone already on staff here. But I understand the strain it would cause, so I'm prepared to pay the expense of hiring another researcher."

That seemed to catch Neil's attention. He pursed his lips, and Shane suspected he was running the financial numbers through his head.

"I expect Dr. Manning's involvement with my project will require only a few months," Shane added. "So it should be short-term." He believed that was true from the intelligence. Lawrence's people had started approaching potential buyers months earlier. They would not have done that if the toxin was a long way off. Unfortunately, Shane was pretty convinced that Lawrence would be testing the toxin sooner rather than later, and that was why he needed Carly. "However, too minimize the disruption, we could make the new job a two-year research grant. That should last far beyond the length of this project."

"This project's very important to you, Shane," Julie said, with a knowing look.

"Critically." Shane let the room fall silent so the others could let their minds fill in the blanks.

Neil looked at Shane directly. "And Carly would be reporting to?"

"To me and a researcher in Washington, D.C.," Shane explained. "Dr. Luciana Bowers. You can look her up." Dr. Bowers' might be ISA, but her research credentials were impeccable and, to anyone outside the agency, it would appear that she worked for a private research lab.

"Well. . . ." Neil paused and looked thoughtful again. "It's a generous offer. If Carly is willing to take on the additional responsibility, I guess it can be done. I'll just need to smooth things over with Dr. Bishop."

"Good," Julie said. "Now that that's settled, we only have one more order of business - hiring a new administrator for the lab."

Shane looked at the others. "Actually, I have a few thoughts on the subject."

"Another 'side project'?" Julie asked.

"No. . . . Nothing 'side' about it at all," Shane said. "I'm just wondering if it's necessary to hire a new administrator."

Neil looked confused. "Well with Kayla suspended from the hospital-"

Shane nodded. "Yes. Precisely."

"Precisely what, darling?" Julie asked. "Maybe that late-night mission is affecting your thinking."

"Not at all, Julie. My thinking's quite clear. Kayla's suspended from the hospital for violating nursing protocols. But she doesn't need a nursing license to be the lab administrator." Shane saw a look of realization dawn on Julie's face. "So why can't Kayla continue as the administrator, regardless of her suspension as a nurse?"

Julie looked at Neil. "Shane has a point."

But Neil looked doubtful. "I think it's a little more complicated than that. You're right that Kayla's suspension was based on violating nursing standards, so, technically, I think you're correct within the letter of the law. But the message it would send . . . hiring her back when she's under suspension. I don't think the perception-"

"Damn the perception," Shane said, a bit more sharply than he intended. Neil jerked back in surprise and Shane immediately apologized. "Sorry . . . I didn't mean to snap at you. What I meant to say is that everyone who works with Kayla trusts her and thinks she's one of the best nurses in the hospital. And they also know she was instrumental in getting the Emergency Center and the lab operational. So who cares about perception?"

"Certain members of our board, for one." Neil shook his head. "I just can't justify it. I'm sorry, Shane."

"All right." Shane could tell there was little reason to push the issue further. He had already won on Carly. But he could not stop himself from making one last suggestion. "At least, let's hold off on hiring a new administrator until Kayla gets the ruling from the state board. I think the hearing is sometime soon-"

"Today," Neil said. "As a matter of fact, it's probably just ended."

"So we should know about Kayla soon." Shane glanced at Julie, hoping for some back-up. "If she's reinstated and wants to return to the lab, I can't see your board members objecting. And if she's not, we can start the hiring process at that point. I don't see any reason to spend money on a search that may turn out to be unnecessary."

With a sly smile, Julie said, "I agree completely."

"Then I guess it's unanimous." Neil dropped his hospital chief of staff act and grinned. Shane suspected Neil would have liked to overturn Kayla suspension himself. "We wait for the appeal decision and proceed from there." He closed his file folder and stood up from the table. "And with that, we are adjourned. Now, if you excuse me, I'll leave the two of you so I can go check on my patients."

Neil walked out, but Julie remained in her seat. Shane did not look at her, but he could feel her eyes on him. He made a point of ignoring her as he gathered his papers, but he knew she would break the silence.

"That was a nice thing you did," Julie said. "For Kayla. Not a lot of men would go to bat like that for an ex. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still-"

"No," Shane said, cutting her off. "There's nothing more to it than trying to help a friend. That's all Kayla is." He saw the doubt flash in Julie's eyes. "I mean it, Julie. Kayla has Steve back and she's happy. And the last thing I have on my mind is affairs of the heart."

Julie sat back in her chair. "Yes . . . about that. Would this 'side project' have anything to do with one Lawrence Alamain?"

"You know I can't tell you," Shane said, giving her his most innocent smile.

"So it does." Julie responded with her own smile.

Silently, Shane groaned. Julie always seemed to see right through him when it came to his ISA work. It went back to the day he first asked Julie to help him connect with Lloyd Garrison of Jencon. She had known immediately that he was not really looking for an investment opportunity. "I'm not confirming or denying anything."

Julie grew serious. "Shane . . . Lawrence Alamain is a very dangerous man."

"You're not telling me anything I don't already know," Shane replied as he finished putting his papers in a briefcase.

"And the school shooting the other day? Your little boy seems like he's about the right age for Salem Elementary."

Shane forced himself not to react. He had to admire the way Julie raised her questions. They were designed to elicit unconscious responses, so that words became meaningless. She would have made a good ISA agent.

Julie frowned. "I know enough people in high places to know you and Roman chased down the shooter. That means you had to be pretty close to the man when the shooting started." Her expression turned sympathetic. "If anyone ever tried to hurt my David, you wouldn't have been able to stop me."

"A true 'mama bear,'" Shane joked.

"I'm serious, Shane. I know what Lawrence can do. I was at his home too." She paused and studied him. "He plays with people, trying to keep them off-balance."

"Like I said . . . you're not telling me anything I don't know."

"No," Julie conceded. "I suspect you do. Just be careful, darling."

Shane nodded. "Of course. And I do appreciate your concern. But remember that I do have the full backing of the ISA. Lawrence may be cagey, but we'll get him eventually."

With that, Julie got up. "Fair enough. I guess I'd better check on my grandfather; I told him I'd join him for dinner after this meeting ended. He wants to discuss the new trauma center. It should be up and running in November. Anyway, I'll let you go." She paused again, then added, "Remember what I said, Shane."

"I will." As he watched Julie leave, Shane sighed. If she even knew the truth about the status of the Alamain investigation. . . . _Speaking of which. . . ._ Shane walked over to the conference room phone, dialed the field office, and asked to speak with the director.

"Yes, Captain," said the aide. "Also, Kimberly Brady called again. She seemed very insistent on speaking with you."

As he waited for the call to be put through, Shane dimly recalled an aide telling him that morning that Kim was on the phone. Tarrington had been about to arrive and Shane had been in the process of making sure he had the most up-to-date information on the investigation, so he told the aide he could not talk. _It's probably nothing too important_. If it was an emergency, Kim would have tracked him down.

He let go of that thought as the field director got on the line. He gave the latest news - none of it good. Alamain's people had conducted a second sweep of the house and grounds, and virtually every camera and microphone had been found. Lawrence also had met earlier with Ivan Marais, who essentially confirmed he removed the wine bottles. It sounded like they had spent their conversation laughing at the ISA.

_They have every reason_ _too_, Shane bitterly told himself. The night before had given Lawrence the upper hand. The ISA was back at square one. Well, maybe not exactly square one. They still knew about the toxin.

"Get a call into Dr. Bowers at the D.C. research lab," Shane said. "I need her in Salem tomorrow. See if you can have your assistant book her on the 8 a.m. out of National. Tell her I'll meet her at the airport." It would be good to see what Bowers was up to and get her connected to Carly as soon as possible. If the disaster at Lawrence's house emboldened him, he might test the toxin even earlier than Shane feared.

The director agreed to make the call, and then mentioned that the different units in the task force were going to work through the night, brainstorming new strategies. Shane thought for a moment. Most of the task force members were now well into their second straight day without sleep, and, given the situation, there was little reason to drive his agents to exhaustion.

"Look. . . ." Shane said. "Tell the team to go home and get some rest. We'll regroup in the morning, and they can give me preliminary recommendations in the afternoon."

Shane hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes. He was nearing his own limits and could feel a headache coming on. That tended to happen when he was exhausted.

_Kim used to cure them_.

He sighed as he remembered the way Kim would just rub the sides of his head and help release the pain. She had such a gentle touch. For a moment, he could almost feel her working her magic, but then he reminded himself that they were divorced and, even with her living in his house, he needed to maintain boundaries. The worst thing he could do would be to get close to her again. He could not let her inside the walls he had built since she had walked out on him.

_You can't go through that again_, he warned himself. _You can't handle that pain again._

Shane took a few deep breaths, hoping they would help stave off the exhaustion for just a little while. For now, he would head home and spend a little time with Andrew. And with Kim, he would just keep his distance - physically and emotionally.


	166. Chapter 165

Kayla hurriedly opened the door to her hotel room and immediately checked to see if the message light on the phone was lit. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the light was still dark. She checked the clock and saw that it was still a couple of minutes before six o'clock. She'd been afraid she would miss Steve's call again. _If he calls_.

She and Charlie had strolled through the State Fair grounds, laughing and talking about their high school days. It had been a long time since she had relived those days and it had been fun to remember those carefree and innocent times.

Charlie had talked about law school and his new job at the Governor's office. She had told him about becoming a nurse and caught him up on what had happened with some of their high school friends. She had told him about Steve - at least a very brief version of the story - and shown him pictures of Stephanie. Time had flown by so quickly that she had been afraid she would be late getting back to her hotel.

She sat on the bed and thumbed through a magazine, trying to ignore the clock. Suddenly, the phone rang. She practically leapt off the bed to answer it.

"Hello," she said, hoping it was Steve.

"Hi, Sweetness."

"Steve," she sighed in relief. "It's finally you."

"Yeah, baby, it's me." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's good to finally hear your voice instead of that answering machine. I was . . . I was worried about you when I couldn't reach you last night."

"I know, baby." Steve sounded guilty. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What happened?" Kayla asked. "Ma told me that you called at midnight and said you couldn't pick up Stephanie. What's going on, Steve?"

There was silence on the other end of the line. Kayla felt her relief being replaced by frustration. "Steve? Are you going to tell me what was going on?"

"It's no big deal, Sweetness," Steve finally replied. "I'm fine."

"Don't feed me that line, Steve." Kayla tried to stay calm. "I know you and I know that something happened and that it probably had something to do with Lawrence Alamain."

"Take it easy, Kayla," Steve said. "I'm not trying to feed you a line." He sighed in resignation. "I just didn't want to upset you."

"It's a little late for that, Steve. So why don't you just tell me what happened."

There was another stretch of silence on the other end of the phone. Finally, Steve said, "You're right. Something did happen, and it did have to do with Alamain. But, baby, I really don't want to get into it over the phone. You're coming home tomorrow, and we can talk about everything then."

Kayla sighed in frustration. She wanted to know what was going on. But she also knew that Steve was probably right. She would be home tomorrow and it would be easier to talk about everything in person. _I guess we can add that to list of things we need to talk about._

"All right," she finally replied. "But, I'm holding you to that promise. We are going to talk about this tomorrow when I get home."

"I know." Steve's voice adopted a more cheerful tone. "But, for now, I want to talk about you. How did your hearing go?"

"Fine," Kayla said with a sigh. "They moved the time up on me and the hearing ended up being at two instead of four."

"So that's why I missed you this afternoon."

"Yeah. And the hearing itself was really short. I gave my statement and they asked a couple of questions and it was over."

"Did you get any sense of what they were thinking?" Steve asked.

"Not really. The board seemed receptive to what I was saying, but the whole thing was so short it was hard to get any read on them."

"I'm sure they are going to do the right thing. Did you get any word on when they might have a decision?"

"They just said 'soon,' whatever that means." Kayla decided to switch topics. "How did your interview go this morning?"

Steve gave a harsh chuckle. "Not well, Sweetness."

"I'm sorry," Kayla replied, sensing something in Steve's voice. "What happened?"

"Nothing much, baby. The guy just took one look at me and decided I was not the 'type' he wanted at Allied Freight."

Kayla heard the bitterness break through Steve's sarcastic tone. She suddenly understood what had happened. It was easy for her to forget that some people still saw only the patch when they looked at Steve.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I know it sounds trite, but, if that's their attitude, you are better off not working there anyway."

"I know, Kayla," Steve replied. "It's no big deal. He was just some punk kid with an attitude."

Kayla recognized that tone so well. It was the one Steve had always used to hide his true feelings about his eye. He would just shrug it off like it didn't bother him.

"It is a big deal, Steve," she replied. "It's a big deal because I know that it hurts you. You don't have to hide that from me."

"I'm not hiding anything, baby. I'm not saying I like that the kid judged me right off the bat, but he was just some rich boy who was trying to show what a big deal he was. I don't give a damn what he thinks of me."

Kayla knew that was not exactly true. She had heard the bitterness in Steve's voice and knew it had bothered him that the man had judged him by his patch. But she would not push him about it now.

"Okay," she said quietly. "Just remember that not everybody is like that."

"I know, baby. You taught me that a long time ago."

Kayla smiled slightly. "I'm glad you still remember." Shifting topics again, she asked, "So what are you and Stephanie up to tonight?"

"Actually, Stephanie is with Kim for a few hours," Steve said. "Bo asked me to grab a bite and shoot some pool at the Heart. I'm supposed to meet him there pretty soon."

"That sounds like fun." Kayla knew Bo would be good company for Steve. "As long as you two can manage to stay out of trouble."

Steve laughed. "That's pretty much what your mama and Kim said too. I guess Bo and I need to work on our reputations."

"Maybe just a little," Kayla laughed in return. Then she remembered something. "If you look on the top shelf of the closet, I'll think you'll find something to help you with your pool game. Why don't you go and get it."

Steve was silent for a moment. Then she heard him put the phone down. It didn't take long for him to return.

"I can't believe you still have this," Steve said, his voice choked with emotion.

"That pool cue was a part of you and a part of us," Kayla said softly. She felt tears stinging her eyes.

"Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome, Steve. Now go have fun with Bo and I'll see you tomorrow at the airport."

"I wish you were home tonight, Sweetness," Steve said in a low, husky tone. "I miss you."

Kayla felt the shiver run through her body just from the tone of his voice. The power he held over her body never ceased to amaze her.

"I miss you too," Kayla replied softly. "And I love you."

"I love you too, Kayla. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Steve."

"Goodnight, Sweetness."

Kayla hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. She knew tomorrow promised to be a difficult day with all that she and Steve needed to talk about and talk through. But she had to trust the love she heard in his voice and believe that they could work through everything. They had been through rough patches before. They would get through this.


	167. Chapter 166

The house was quiet and the foyer dark as Shane entered. That was curious. But then he remembered that he told Simmons he probably would not be back until late - if at all. Shane could hardly expect anyone to be waiting for him under the circumstances.

But someone was there. Shane realized he was not alone and immediately reached for the gun in his shoulder holster.

"Captain Donovan, sir."

Shane let go of his gun, suddenly feeling completely foolish. He found the light switch and flipped it on. He had to blink as the bright light only intensified the pain in his head, but as his eyes adjusted, he located Mike sitting in a chair in the corner of the foyer.

"Sorry about that," Shane said. "I'm not quite accustomed to your being here."

"Yes, sir."

Shane took a good look at the bodyguard. Something seemed odd, but he could not place it for a minute. Then, it hit Shane. "Are you wearing the same clothes you had on for your interview?" Before Mike could even answer, Shane remembered his orders - _don't leave until you're relieved_ _personally_. "Mike . . . I'm sorry. Everything last night got kind of crazy."

"I understand, sir. In your position, there will be emergencies."

_I guess you could call it that. _"I'm still sorry. I'm not expecting you to be here 24/7. And I certainly didn't expect it on your first day."

"That's okay, sir."

Shane debated setting some parameters for when Mike could leave if Shane got delayed, but decided against it. In the future, if it looked like he would be away, he would figure something out. Maybe he could have someone on call. "You should go home. Just tell me if there's anything I need to know."

"No, sir. It's been quiet here. Your son pretty much stayed in his room all day."

Something about that did not sound right. Then it dawned on Shane that Andrew was supposed to return to school that morning; in the chaos over Steve's foray into Lawrence's, Shane had forgotten all about it. "What happened with the school?" Shane asked. "Is Andrew sick?"

"No, sir," Mike replied. "He's in the kitchen with Ms. Brady. I . . . I believe there was an issue with Andrew returning. Ms. Brady just told him that he was not going today and she was not sure if he would go tomorrow."

Shane felt a mix of relief and trepidation. On the one hand, Shane was relieved that, if the school was blocking Andrew's return, the boy would not be put in daily danger. Even with Mike watching Andrew, there was always a chance of another attack. The school was just too public.

On the other hand, Mike's news gave Shane a sneaking suspicion about why Kim had called him during the day. As his head pounded, Shane could almost hear the lecture he undoubtedly would soon receive.

"Thanks, Mike." Shane motioned to the door. "Please go home and get some rest."

Mike left and Shane headed for the kitchen. _No point in putting off the inevitable_. Entering, he saw Andrew sullenly staring down at his plate while Kim maneuvered between two high chairs, feeding both Jeannie and Stephanie.

"Now this is a surprise," Shane said, feigning an upbeat tone. "I didn't realize we had a visitor tonight."

"Daddy!" Andrew seemed to forget he was upset as he jumped out of his seat. Kim's withering glare told him that she was not as easily distracted.

"Hiya, Sport." Shane lifted Andrew into a hug. In a more even tone, he said, "Kim."

"I thought you were working late." She was no longer looking at him, but had returned to feeding the girls. "That's what Simmons said."

It sounded to Shane like she would have preferred he not come home. Puzzled, Shane set Andrew down, motioned for him to return to the table, and then walked over to the drawer that had some aspirin. As Shane pulled out the bottle, he just said, "Things changed."

"Apparently," Kim muttered. "Not enough to keep you from returning phone calls or getting messages."

Shane sighed. "Kim-" He stopped himself when he saw Andrew looking at him. "Maybe we should discuss this later."

She scowled. "Fine." Turning to Andrew, Kim asked, "Are you finished with your supper, sweetie?" When he nodded, she said, "Why don't you go with your father and tell him what you _and Mike_ did all day."

_That was uncalled for_, Shane thought, but he said nothing to Kim. He reminded himself that he needed to keep his distance from her. As the reminder crossed his mind, he winced; another flash of pain from the headache. He downed two of the aspirin and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Daddy?"

Shane looked down to see that Andrew was standing next to him. He glanced back at Kim who was pointedly ignoring him. _Fine, if that's how she wants to handle things._ Shane smiled at Andrew. "Okay, Sport, how about we go up to your room and you can tell me about your day."

As Shane followed Andrew out of the kitchen, he could feel Kim watching him. There would be a confrontation later; he knew he could not avoid it. He just hoped the aspirin would kick in first and wondered if it was possible for this day to get any worse.


	168. Chapter 167

Steve walked into the Cheating Heart and looked around. It appeared unchanged from the last time he had been there all those months ago. As he looked around the beat-up bar, he smiled. It was good to be back in a place that had once been like a second home to him.

"Patch!"

Steve turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, the bartender who had served Steve more beers than he cared to remember.

"Jimmy!" Steve returned the call and walked to the bar. "How ya doin' man?"

"I'm doing fine," Jimmy said. "And you look awfully damn good for a dead man."

Steve laughed. "The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

"So I heard." Jimmy stuck out his hand. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back." Steve shook Jimmy's hand. "Have you seen Bo Brady around here yet?"

"He's in the back by the pool tables with a pitcher of beer."

"Thanks, Jimmy."

Steve headed for the back of the bar and quickly spotted Bo. "Hey, man," he said as he took a seat.

"It's about time you got here," Bo said with a smile. "I thought I was going to have to drink this pitcher by myself."

"Like that's never happened before," Steve scoffed. "Besides, I was talking to your sister."

"Oh yeah? How did her hearing go?"

"She said it went fine." Steve sighed. "I just hope they come back with the right decision. It means a lot to Kayla."

"I hope so, too." Bo's voice was tinged with guilt. "She doesn't deserve any of this."

Steve nodded. The waitress approached and took their orders. After she left, Bo poured himself another beer and then said, "So how are things with you and Kayla anyway?" His voice was casual. Too casual.

"Fine," Steve said, eyeing Bo curiously.

"Good," Bo said, staring intently at his beer. "I'm sure it's been a little difficult to readjust after finding out about Kayla and Shane's relationship."

Steve tensed at Bo's mention of Kayla and Shane. That was the last thing he wanted to talk about tonight. "What's this about, Bo?"

Bo looked up at Steve. "I ran into Kayla at the pier yesterday. She seemed a little upset. She said something about you two having a fight after Jeannie's birthday party."

"So that's what's going on," Steve snapped. "Did you invite me out just to bust my chops about your sister?"

"Knock it off, Steve." Bo said in exasperation. "You're one of my best friends and Kayla is my sister. I just want the two of you to be happy."

Steve took a deep breath. He knew Bo meant well. "Sorry." He paused for a moment. "Look . . . if you want me to admit that Kayla and I have some things to deal with, than I admit it. But we'll deal with it and we'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will," Bo said. He stared down at his beer again as if he were thinking about something. Finally, he lifted his head again and began speaking in a soft voice. "You know, when I lost Hope, I thought I'd never get over it."

Steve looked up in surprise. He did not know where Bo was going with this, but figured he would let him speak his piece.

"Every day was just another reminder of what was missing in my life," Bo continued. "I had Shawn Douglas to think of and he kept me going, but I never stopped feeling like a part of me was missing."

"I remember," Steve said softly.

"Then I fell in love with Carly." Bo smiled. "God knows, I didn't make it easy for her. I felt guilty for feeling anything for anyone else and so I pushed her away. But somehow we managed to get through all that."

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Bo . . . if this is about Sha-"

"Just let me finish," Bo said, cutting Steve off. "The thing is that I love Carly. But I've never stopped loving Hope. I've never stopped missing Hope." He stared hard at Steve. "Hope is still with me every single day."

"Does Carly know that?" Steve asked, not quite able to stop himself.

"Yeah, she does." Bo shrugged. "We've talked about it, and she knows that Hope is still a part of my heart and a part of my life and always will be. What I feel for Carly is entirely separate from what I felt - what I still feel - for Hope. Carly hasn't replaced Hope in my life, in Shawn Douglas's life, or in our hearts." He looked at Steve again. "You understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I hear what you're saying," Steve said.

"Good. Because you're a damn fool if you think that Kayla didn't miss you, didn't love you, while you were gone." Bo's voice dropped a notch. "I know she was with Shane, and I can't imagine how that must feel. But I was here, and I saw what she went through. I saw that sadness in her eyes that never really went away until you got back."

Before Steve could respond, the waitress arrived with their burgers. The next few minutes passed in relative silence as they down their meal. By the time they were finished, the conversation had shifted and Bo was asking why Caroline had commented about Steve not showing up on time. Steve sighed, not wanting to put Bo in the middle of his problems with Shane, but also not wanting to lie to his friend. He was trying to figure out what so say when, out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw a man approaching the table, carrying a pool cue.

"You must be Patch," the man said, eyeing Steve.

"Depends on who's asking," Steve replied.

"Jimmy says you used to be the best pool player in the joint," the man said.

"I've been known to win a game here and there." Steve caught Bo's smirk out of the corner of his eye.

The man gripped the cue with both hands and issued his challenge. "Well then, how about a game?"

"All right," Steve said. "What are the stakes?"

"Twenty bucks a game. Twenty more if somebody runs the table."

"Sounds good," Steve said, pulling out his pool cue. He opened the leather box and carefully pulled out the cue and put it together. He knew he was out of practice, but he could never turn down a challenge. He had made a decent living in the past by playing on the overconfidence of guys just like this one.

He walked over to the pool table with Bo trailing behind. The man handed him the cue and told Steve he could break.

Steve placed the cue ball on the table and began lining up his shot. But something did not feel right. _What's going on_? He could feel his heart start to pound and the pool cue suddenly felt like a foreign object in his hands.

He stood up and took a deep breath. His brain was telling him he wanted to be anywhere but at that pool table, but that did not make any sense. He leaned over the table again and tried to focus on the shot. He felt the sweat bead on his brow and could feel his hands shaking. It was no use.

"Hey, man? You okay?" That sounded like Bo, but he sounded distant and distorted.

Steve's breath coming faster and his heart seemed to race even faster.

"Steve?" It was Bo again.

Then he heard another voice and Steve turn his head to see the man who had issued the challenge. The man sneered. "Are you going to take a shot or not?"

Slowing his breath, Steve stood up. His heart rate also seemed to slow. Steve faced the man and shook his head. "I guess not. I'm just not feeling it tonight."

"Then I guess you owe me twenty bucks," the man said, smiling at his friends.

"Look, dude," Steve said, trying to maintain a friendly tone. "We didn't even start the game, so let's just call it off and move on."

"We didn't start the game because you chickened out." The man stood in front of Steve. "So, like I said, you owe me twenty bucks. Actually, make it forty since I was going to run the table on you anyway."

"I don't owe you anything," Steve said, forcing himself to remain calm as he eyed the man and his friends. He turned to walk to his table and gave Bo a look to be ready. Bo nodded.

"You aren't going anywhere until you pay me my money," the man said.

Then he grabbed Steve's wrist.


	169. Chapter 168

Kim tried to focus on the babies on the floor of the library, even though her mind was elsewhere. Shane had been upstairs with Andrew for the better part of an hour, and she wondered what he was telling their son. Bitterly, she wondered if "Daddy" could work his magic and make Andrew feel better, leaving Kim to be the bad guy over what had happened with the school.

She shook her head, trying to wipe aside her bitterness and anger at least for the moment. There was no point dwelling on Shane's priorities when he was not there. Instead, Kim looked at the children. Stephanie was toddling around, stopping every few feet to examine something new. Meanwhile, Jeannie sat on the floor, holding her pink bunny."

"No, Stephanie," Kim said. She got up to rescue a book that Stephanie had picked up from one of the end-tables. With a slight chuckle, she glanced around at all the things in the library that were fragile. By the time Jeannie was able to walk, they would have to child-proof the room.

_Assuming you're still living here when that happens_.

The thought made her ache slightly, a reminder that she was still just a "guest" in the house. Trying to ignore that feeling as well as her anger, Kim set the book on a shelf and turned around to steer Stephanie back to the middle of the room.

"Getting into trouble are we?" Kim turned to see Shane in the doorway. His eyes were on Stephanie only.

_Of course_, Kim thought. _Why would he care about anyone else_? Kim bit back on what she wanted to say, even as her anger and bitterness returned. "Everything's fine," she said.

Shane looked at her for a moment, then crossed the room toward his desk, stepping around Jeannie without a word. When he reached it, he began leafing through the day's mail.

"Where's Andrew?" Kim asked.

"He's playing a video game," Shane replied. "I told him he could play for a little while until bedtime. I said you'd be up when it was time."

"And did you talk to him about-".

Shane nodded. "He's upset, but he'll get over it."

"Get over it?" Kim could hear her voice rising. "It's not a question of 'getting over it,' Shane. It's about what's right for Andrew."

"Look . . . Kim. . . ." He glanced at the girls. "I don't think we should argue about this right now."

"Argue?" Kim looked at him closely and realized, "You're not upset about this at all. You're glad they're not letting Andrew go back, aren't you?" Shane did not respond, but looked again at the babies. _He's avoiding the issue_. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Shane shifted from foot to foot. "It's not that I'm not concerned about Andrew, and I understand why you want him to be able to have a normal life, but-"

Kim cut him off. "But you don't care that he's being kept out of school."

"We'll discuss this later," came Shane's curt response. It gave Kim her answer. Shane did not care that Andrew was all alone. For a moment, she wondered if he had encouraged the principal to keep Andrew out of school.

"Fine," Kim said. "But just in case we don't discuss this tonight, I'm meeting with Mickey Horton tomorrow to discuss our options. You may not care about your son, but I do."

She saw that her comment hit home, because Shane's cheeks flushed red. Whether that was from anger or embarrassment, she did not know. And for an instant, she felt a twinge of guilt. But it passed quickly as she remembered that Shane had not returned her earlier calls or shown up for the meeting at the school.

Ignoring Shane further, Kim went back to the girls. Stephanie was playing with one of Andrew's toy cars, while Jeannie had crawled over to the chair of the sofa and was trying to pull herself off the floor. From where she was crouched by the toys, Kim watched her daughter. Jeannie would be walking soon. Kim suspected it was only a few weeks away.

"Uh huh, sweetheart," Shane said from behind her. Kim spun around to see that he had lifted up Stephanie and was pulling the toy car away from her mouth. "That's not a snack," Shane joked. "If you had any idea what Andrew does with those things, you'd be thanking me."

Stephanie responded by scrunching up her face, the obvious start of a tantrum.

"Shane," Kim said, standing up as Stephanie began to wail. "Let me take her."

"I've got it." Again, that curt response. He made some soft noises and Stephanie seemed to calm a little. Her crying stopped and her eyes focused on Shane.

Kim shook her head. "This really isn't a good idea. Let me take her."

Shane gave Kim a curious glance. "Not a good idea?" She saw the realization cross his face. "You can't be serious?"

"Yes, I am," Kim said. She stood up and walked over toward Shane to take Stephanie away. "I'm not going to cause trouble with Steve. He didn't want me taking Stephanie at all and only agreed when I told him you wouldn't be home until late. But then, of course, 'things changed.'"

"So you're just going to go along with his petty jealousy? Because that's what it is." Shane turned his attention back to Stephanie momentarily. "It's okay, sweetheart," he said softly.

Kim could tell that Shane was struggling to stay calm so as not to set Stephanie off again. He really was good with her. _That's because he loves her. He could be just as good with Jeannie if he tried._ The bitterness rose again. _He loves Stephanie, but can barely look at Jeannie_. Kim tried to suppress the thought and focus on her immediate concern. "Shane . . . I know Steve's being unreasonable, but Stephanie's his daughter and he sets the rules. And. . . ." An idea popped into her head. The one way to get Shane to agree was to tie things to his mission. "And Steve needs to know he can trust me. If he doesn't trust me, he won't tell me everything."

Shane responded with a harsh laugh. "I don't think you need to worry about that." Ignoring Kim's confused look, he turned away, still holding Stephanie, and began to whisper to her. The baby giggled and smiled in response. Still not looking at Kim, Shane said, "See . . . she likes this. It's not a big deal."

_Of course, it's a big deal_, Kim thought. Shane just did not get it. It had nothing to do with Stephanie, and maybe Shane was right that Steve was being petty, but Steve was still Stephanie's father. Kim took a deep breath and was about to try to explain, but Jeannie chose that exact moment to start crying.

Spinning around, Kim saw Jeannie lying on the floor next to the sofa. She had a small trickle of blood on her forehead, and Kim instantly put two and two together. Jeannie had probably been trying to stand, had slipped, and hit her head.

"Oh no," Kim rushed over to Jeannie and picked her up. She was wailing loudly, and Kim hugged her close. Then she inspected the cut. It did not look deep, but probably needed some antiseptic. She tried to calm Jeannie, who was still crying and then realized that, like a chain reaction, Stephanie had also began to cry. Shane was doing his best to quiet her.

Kim sighed. She did not want to leave Stephanie with Shane, but she had to take care of Jeannie. It would only take a few minutes. Looking at Shane, Kim said, "I'm going to take Jeannie and clean up this cut, but when I get back, I really think you need to leave us alone. Maybe it is petty, Shane, but that's the way Steve wants it. And you need to respect that."


	170. Chapter 169

The guy never had a chance. Steve ripped his hand free from the doctor's grip and swung the stick in his hand in a wide arc. For an instant he wondered where he had gotten the stick; they never let him near anything he could use as a weapon. The thought fled his head as the stick hit home and the white-suited doctor - _torturer _- crashed to the ground. Steve dove after him.

_You're not getting away that easily._

Around him, people were shouting and fighting. Steve dimly sensed Bo was somewhere in the middle of the melee - _when did they take Bo _- but Steve's focus was entirely on the doctor who had grabbed him. Steve still had a hold of his stick, and he shoved it across the man's neck with one hand. With the other, Steve punched the doctor's in the face. His fist struck the man's nose and Steve felt bones break from the force, but he continued to pull back and strike again.

The doctor had been screaming, but they became weaker. His face seemed to change color. Steve did not care. _You deserve to die for this_, he thought. He was yelling, but could not hear his own words. He continued to pound the man.

Then, people were grabbing him and he was being pulled away. Still yelling, Steve struggled against their grip and tried to break free.

"I won't let you take me!" he screamed.

He hit the ground and someone was holding him down. No, it was two men.

"Steve! Snap out of it!"

Hearing his name caused him to focus. Steve looked up to see Bo pressing down on his chest. Jimmy was holding his shoulders.

"Steve?" Bo asked.

"What?" Steve glanced around confused. He was outside - on the ground of the parking lot. "What's going on?"

Jimmy looked at Bo, and shook his head. "Just get him out of here. I'll take care of the mess inside. Patch is just lucky that guy has a couple warrants out on him, otherwise the cops would be crawling all over this place."

Bo nodded. "Steve . . . man . . . you went nuts in there. You nearly killed that guy."

_What guy_? Steve wondered. He had no real memory of anything. For a second, he recalled being in that room, being beaten for resisting. But that was not right. He was in the parking lot of the Cheating Heart.

"Come on. . . ." Bo said. "Let's get you out of here before the cops show up."

Steve allowed Bo to lead him to his car. "What are you doing?" Steve asked, as Bo dragged him to the passenger side.

"You don't think I'm going to let you drive right now. Jeez, Steve, you barely know where you are." Bo shoved Steve inside and walked around the car to the driver's side.

_What happened_? Steve asked himself. He was shaking a little. Then he realized that he was still holding his pool cue. _I was playing pool_, he thought, trying to piece things together.

Bo got in and held out his hand. "Give me your keys." Still shaken and confused, Steve complied. As Bo started the car, he said, "I'm taking you home. I don't know what's going on or what's gotten into you, but you need some sleep."

_Was that it_? _Was it just lack of sleep_? Steve felt plenty amped up. "Wait," Steve said, remembering something as Bo pulled out of the parking lot. "Stephanie . . . we've gotta go pick her up." He saw Bo's look of doubt. "Oh, come on, Bo. I'm not going to do anything crazy with Stephanie. Let's just go to Kim's and get her. Then you can drive me home."

Bo seemed to debate it.

"Come on, dude. I need to get Stephanie. Kayla's coming home tomorrow morning."

"Fine," Bo muttered. "But then - home."

Steve nodded, even though he felt like Bo was talking to him like he was a child. "Yes, mother dear." Steve shook his head. "Hey, what about your bike?" If Bo was driving Steve's car, he must have left his motorcycle at the Cheating Heart.

"I'll get someone to give me a ride over to pick it up," Bo snapped. "I just wanted to get you out of there. Man, I thought you were going to kill that guy. And for what? A lousy twenty bucks?"

Steve fell silent as he mulled that over. He remembered trying to play pool and being unable to. Then the guy had gotten in his face over the money. The next thing Steve knew, he was in the parking lot. How did that all happen. It could not have been about the money.

He tried to mull everything over in his head, but nothing was getting clearer. Bo seemed to recognize that Steve did not want to discuss it, so they drove in silence until they pulled into the driveway of Shane's house.

As Bo stopped the car in front of the entrance, he glanced at Steve. "I can go get Stephanie if you want."

Steve scoffed at that. "I'm perfectly capable of getting my daughter." He climbed out of the car, headed for the front door, and rang the bell. When the butler answered, Steve had a slight flash of the snooty butler at Shane's house in England.

"We're just here to get Stephanie," Bo said.

"Yes, sir," said the butler. "I think she's in the library with Master Shane."

_What_? Steve felt a surge of anger. Kim had said Shane was working late.

"Steve," Bo cautioned.

_Uh huh_, Steve thought. Before Bo could grab him, Steve pushed forward, passed the butler, and rushed into the library.

Inside, he spotted Shane, with his back to the door, carrying Stephanie. Steve could not hear the words, but Stephanie was watching Shane and smiling at him. _That's my daughter_, Steve thought, as the fury consumed him.

Shane must have heard him come in, because he turned to the door. "Steve," he said, his expression calm, though perhaps showing a hint of surprise.

"That's it, Donovan," Steve growled. "Get the hell away from my daughter."


	171. Chapter 170

"Get the hell away from my daughter."

_Not again_, Shane thought as he looked at Steve. Behind Steve, Bo entered the room.

"Steve. . . ." Shane tried to keep completely calm. "Just calm down. Stephanie was crying and Kim had to take Jeannie into the other room."

"That's not good enough," Steve said. His voice had a dangerous edge to it that Shane recognized. "I told you to stay away from Stephanie."

"Relax, man." That was from Bo.

"I am relaxed." Steve turned to face Bo. "I'm very relaxed. I'm also very pissed that, for all his talk, Mr. ISA here doesn't seem to be able to listen. I warned him to stay away from Stephanie. And he just can't seem to get it through his head that Stephanie's my daughter, not his."

Shane suspected they were not going to avoid another confrontation. After the night before and this morning, Steve already was on edge. This was just round two. _Or more like round eight or nine_. Still, Shane decided he would see if he could work this out. There was always a slim possibility that Steve might listen to reason.

"You're wrong, Steve. I fully understand that Stephanie's your daughter." Shane kept his voice even. "Like I said, she was crying and I was just trying to calm her down."

"She doesn't need you to calm her down." Steve's voice rose as he spun back around to face Shane. "She's got her mother and me. So - I repeat - stay away from Stephanie. Hell . . . you weren't even supposed to be here."

Over Steve's shoulder, Kim entered the room. "I'm sorry, Steve. That's my fault. I got confused about Shane's schedule." She crossed the room and took Stephanie from Shane's arms.

_Why was Kim lying_? Shane wondered. This whole situation was ridiculous. "No, she didn't get confused about my schedule." Shane stepped toward Steve. "I thought I'd be working late - fixing that mess you created, by the way - but let's just say it's not something that one late night was going to fix. So I thought maybe I'd come home, see my son and get some sleep." Shane suddenly realized the absurdity of what he was saying. "Why am I even explaining this to you, Steve? This is my house, and I don't need to explain my comings and goings to anyone."

"Maybe you don't," Steve said, still glaring. "But that doesn't mean you get to play daddy with Stephanie."

"I'm not-"

"Don't give me that!" Steve yelled. "I know what you're doing, Donovan." He stepped closer. "Kayla's not part of your life anymore, and you can't use Stephanie to keep her there."

"Oh for god's sake, Steve." Shane could not contain his exasperation. Why couldn't Steve get it through his head that he had no designs on Kayla? And why did Shane have to keep appeasing these absurd theories of Steve's? _Not anymore. I'm not going to let him do this to me_, Shane thought. "Stop being so ridiculous."

"Am I?" Steve said.

Bo reached for Steve's shoulder. "Look, man, just chill out." He glanced at Kim. "Can you get Stephanie's things so I can get him out of here?"

Translated, that meant "_can you get Stephanie out of here_." Shane could read the worry on Kim's face, but he gave her a curt nod. _I can handle this_. Kim looked at him once more and, carrying Stephanie in her arms, headed out of the room.

"Get me out of here." Steve chuckled dangerously as he reacted to Bo's words. "Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. I'm sure that's exactly what Mr. ISA here wants to do. He's probably wishing I'd get out of here all over again." Steve grinned at Shane. "I'm not going anywhere. So you'd better get used to that. And if you want to play daddy for someone else's kid, why don't you go do it with Jeannie?"

Shane fought to control himself. The last thing he was going to do was discuss Jeannie or Kim with Steve. "You just leave her out of it," Shane warned. His jaw tightened. "This has nothing to do with Jeannie, and has nothing do with me wanting to, as you put it, 'play daddy.'" _Did it_? Shane tried to set the thought aside. All he was doing was helping with the baby. _What the bloody hell was so wrong with that_?

"Why don't you admit it," Steve demanded, his voice starting to rise again. "You got screwed by Winters and you pushed Kim away, so you latched onto Kayla and Stephanie."

Shane could tell he was fighting a losing battle to suppress his anger. "Steve, I'm warning you."

Steve laughed. "Or what? You're going to talk me to death? Give me more of your empty words? Offer some 'logic'? I'm not interested, dude. So stay away from Stephanie or I'll make you wish you had."

"This is pointless," Shane said, running his hands through his head. He took a few deep breaths. _Don't let him get to you. Just stay calm_. He gritted his teeth. "I'm not going to get into this with you, especially when you're all emotional like this."

"Oh, right . . . I forgot." Steve continued with his mocking tone. "God forbid anyone gets emotional. You sure as hell don't. All that British reserve means you don't have emotions." Steve shook his head. "You're always cool. Or is that cold?"

"Come on, Steve," Bo said. "You're not doing anyone any good."

"Forget it, Brady! I'm talking here to Mr. Unemotional ISA Superspy." Steve glared at Shane. "That's how you go, isn't it? All cold-like, no emotions?"

Shane was close to losing the last remnants of his control. "You're about to see just how hot I can get, Steve."

"Yeah?" Steve laughed. "I'd like to see that. It'd be a change. Maybe even a first. No wonder Kim walked out on you."

"Steve. . . ." Bo sounded a warning.

Shane stepped forward. He was only a few feet away from Steve and he could feel his entire body straining to explode. "You keep Kim out of this."

"Why? It all makes sense now." Steve shook his head. "You're one cold SOB, Donovan. Real cold. After you, Kim probably couldn't wait to hook up with Winters. At least, he could keep her bed warm."

From behind Steve, there was a thud. Shane looked away from Steve to see Kim standing in the doorway, her eyes wide. She was holding Stephanie. The baby's diaper bag was at Kim's feet where she had dropped it.

Bo and Steve also turned toward Kim. She blinked once, then twice, apparently fighting back tears.

"Whoa, Steve, that was low," Bo said.

"That's okay, Bo," Shane said. "I'll handle this." He looked at Kim and saw the pain etched on her face. _That does it._

Steve was turning back to face Shane. "Oh, you're going to-"

He didn't finish the sentence, because Shane's fist was already flying through the air. The punch connected directly with Steve's jaw and sent him crashing to the floor.

_Yeah_, Shane thought, as he loomed over Steve. _I'll handle this._


	172. Chapter 171

Steve scrambled up from the floor but, before he could return Shane's punch, Bo's arms wrapped around him.

"Knock it off, Steve." Bo's tone was harsh.

"Let me go, Bo." Steve eyed Shane dangerously. Shane returned the glare. "This is between me and Donovan."

"Right now, this is between me and you," Bo said, pulling Steve towards the door.

Steve struggled against Bo's efforts to move him to the door, but quickly realized the only choice was to go with Bo or fight him. Not willing to take a swing at his buddy, Steve allowed Bo to push him out the door into the foyer.

"What the hell's your problem, man?" Bo yelled as he closed the door behind him.

"My problem?" Steve yelled back. "Donovan's the one who threw the first punch."

"Because you provoked it. And you know it, Steve."

"I don't know anything," Steve replied, stubbornly. "All I know is I came here to pick up my daughter and take her home - and that's damn well what I'm going to do."

Steve pushed by Bo and headed for the door. Before he could open it, Bo spun him around and shoved him back.

"You're not going anywhere until you calm down." Bo maintained his stance between Steve and the door.

"Don't tell me what to do, Bo." Steve's voice was dangerously calm. "Stephanie is my daughter and I'm going to get her out of this place and take her home."

"Stephanie's also my niece. And you are out of control." Bo took a deep breath and kept his eye on Steve. "You could have killed that guy at the Heart tonight if Jimmy and I hadn't dragged you out of there. And you practically begged Shane to hit you with what you said about Kim and Cal. Hell, if he hadn't hit you, I might have."

Steve felt the guilt wash over him as he recalled Kim's face as she stood in the doorway. He knew he had crossed a line he should not have crossed.

"I'm sorry for what I said about Kim," he said softly. "I didn't even know she was there."

"I know you didn't," Bo said quietly. He walked over to Steve and put a hand on his shoulder. "You were too busy going after Shane to notice. That's how out of control you were."

"Just let me get Stephanie and I'll get out of here. You won't have to worry about me anymore."

"I do worry about you, Steve." Bo stepped back towards the door. "Why don't you just go home and leave Stephanie here for the night? You and Kayla can pick her up tomorrow."

Steve's eye narrowed. "Are you trying to keep me from my daughter, Bo?"

"No," Bo said, refusing to meet Steve's eye. "I'm just saying maybe it's better for everyone if you leave her here tonight."

"That's not going to happen, Bo." Steve walked towards the door and stopped just in front of Bo. "I'm not leaving my daughter here."

"Then you have two choices," Bo said, not backing down. "You can stay here and calm down, or I'll take Stephanie home with me." Bo looked Steve in the eye. "Because she's not going anywhere with you until I know that you have that temper of yours under control."

Steve knew Bo was serious, and a voice in his head said Bo was also right. Raising his hands in surrender, Steve backed away from the door and sat in the chair. "All right. I'll calm down."

"Good." Bo kept his eye on Steve. "You stay right there and I'll go get Stephanie and her things. But I swear if you so much as move out of that chair while I'm gone, then Stephanie is going home with me tonight."

Steve nodded. He watched as Bo went back into the other room. He remembered the breathing exercises that Kim had taught him and took several long, deep breaths. All he wanted to do was go home, put Stephanie to bed, and get some sleep. The events of the past two days had caught up with him and Steve was overcome with exhaustion.

After several minutes, he heard the door open and saw Bo come back into the foyer with Stephanie in his arms. Kim trailed behind with Stephanie's diaper bag. There was no sign of Shane.

Steve stood up and walked to Bo. "There's my little Sweetness," he said with a smile. After he took Stephanie from Bo, he took the diaper bag from Kim.

"I'm . . . I'm sorry, Kim." Steve could barely look her in the eyes. "I didn't mean what I said. I hope you know that."

Kim nodded, but did not say anything. Bo stepped next to Kim and put his arm around her. Sighing, Steve carried Stephanie to the door and left the Donovan house. He put Stephanie in her car seat and drove home.

By the time they reached the apartment, Stephanie was sound asleep. Steve carefully carried her into her room and placed her in her crib. He tucked her in and stroked her hair. Stepping away, he sat down in the rocking chair next to the crib.

He ran his hand across his face and leaned back in the chair. His mind whirled with the events of the evening. Had it been only a few hours since he had left the apartment, looking forward to a fun evening with Bo? He looked down at his hand and saw the bruises on his knuckles. He recalled Bo telling him that he could have killed the guy at the Heart that night. But Steve could not remember anything about it. He remembered turning away from the man, and the next thing he remembered was Jimmy and Bo holding him down on the ground outside the Heart as Bo yelled his name.

Steve looked again at his sleeping daughter and thought of how Bo had been afraid to let Stephanie leave with him. Anger and shame rose inside Steve - anger that Bo would ever think that Steve was a danger to Stephanie, and shame that Steve had provided a reason for Bo to worry.

Looking over at the dresser, he saw the pink music box sitting there. Steve reached over and picked it up. He stared at it for a moment, then opened it.

The song was something he did not recognize. Not surprising. Everything about the damn thing was wrong. It did not fit here; it did not fit his family; it did not fit Steve. He snapped it shut, stood up from the chair, and left the room before the walls closed in around him. Steve walked into the living room and checked the locks on the door and the windows, unable to shake the feeling that Stephanie was not safe.

After pacing from room to room and checking on Stephanie multiple times, Steve finally collapsed on the couch. His body begged for sleep, but his mind would not surrender to it. Looking down at his hand, Steve realized he was still holding the music box. As he stared at it, he saw Shane holding Stephanie, saw Stephanie smiling up at Shane, and heard Shane's voice on the tape as Stephanie took her first steps. His fingers tightened around the box again. All Steve wanted to do was hurl the box against the wall to destroy it and everything it represented.

He sat up and started to raise his arm, ready to throw it. But he hesitated. He could not do it.

_It won't change anything_.

Steve lowered the box and looked at it. He could destroy the music box, he could erase the tape Shane recorded of Stephanie taking her first steps, and he could get rid of every physical reminder of all that he missed out on.

_It won't make a difference. It won't matter._

Pulling himself up from the couch, Steve walked quietly back into Stephanie's room and set the music box back on the dresser. He sat back down in the rocking chair and pulled the blanket off the back of the chair. Wrapping the blanket around himself, he watched his daughter sleeping peacefully. He knew he could not erase the nine months he had missed. That part of Stephanie's life had passed. Steve had missed it. Nothing he could do would ever get that back. But he was here now and he would protect her - with his life if necessary.


	173. Chapter 172

Shane watched Bo pull Steve out of the room. For a moment, he had wished Steve had broken free so Shane could hit him again, but as soon as they were gone, he took a few deep breaths to calm down. His headache had returned with a vengeance and he shut his eyes, hoping that would stop the pain. When he opened them, he looked around and realized that Kim was still in the library.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

He saw something flash in her eyes, but then she looked down. "I'm fine." She was still holding Stephanie in one arm, and had the diaper bag strap in her other hand. She dropped the bag, and walked over to the couch, still holding the baby.

Through the library door, he could hear Bo and Steve's muffled voices. Obviously, they were still arguing. _Steve's out of control_, Shane said to himself. _He's a danger to everyone around him._ Shane stared at the door, debating whether he should go out and help Bo. _And to think I protected him from Tarrington, that I put my career on the line for him_. That caused Shane to have to fight his anger even more and he began to pace back and forth. _Maybe I need to have it out with Steve once and for all._

Kim must have read his mind. "You'll just make it worse."

He turned to her and saw the faint trail of a tear on her cheek. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't," Kim said curtly, her tone taking Shane by surprise. "Don't say you're sorry."

"What are you talking about?" Shane was baffled by Kim's response, but before she could answer, Bo returned.

He looked at Kim only. "Why don't you let me take Stephanie and her bag to him?"

"Are you sure that's wise?" Shane asked.

Bo and Kim exchanged glances before Kim answered. "Steve will never do anything to hurt Stephanie."

Shane started to argue, but stopped. There was no point and, if he tried to stop Steve from taking Stephanie, it would only provided further fodder for Steve's ludicrous fantasies. Still, Shane looked at Bo. "You sure he's okay to take her?"

"Yeah, Gov'nor," Bo said. "I wouldn't let him leave with her if he wasn't." He took Stephanie from Kim and was about to take the bag when she stood up.

"I'll go out with you." She had a determined look on her face.

"You don't have to do this," Shane said. What Steve had said had hurt her; she did not need to be hurt any more. But Kim glared at him, so he shrugged and turned away as she and Bo walked out.

Shane wandered around the library for a couple of minutes, picking up Jeannie's and Andrew's toys and tossing them into the playpen. Then Bo wandered back into the room. He was alone.

"Where's Kim?" Shane asked.

"She's getting Jeannie."

It was only at that moment that Shane remembered that Kim had left the library to deal with the cut on Jeannie's forehead, but had returned without the baby.

"I guess she left her with Simmons when we came in." Bo shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans jacket. "So is this going to be a regular thing with you and Steve? Maybe we should make sure we have a couple sets of boxing gloves around for family get-togethers."

"Very funny," Shane said, as he set Andrew's toy car on his desk. "But seeing as I'm not a member of the Brady family anymore, you can probably save the money on the gloves. I'll keep my distance."

Bo rolled his eyes. "Come on, Shane, that's just ridiculous. You're still a member of the family."

Shane shook his head. Bo just did not understand. Being part of a family required connections, a bond rooted in something far greater than friendship. That kind of bond no longer seemed to exist now that he was just "Andrew's father." But Shane did not expect Bo to really understand; he had never lived without a family, having always been surrounded by both the Bradys and, more recently, the Hortons. It was different when you had learned to live without a family, like Shane had, following his parents' deaths and Drew's disappearance.

For some reason, Bo decided not to press the issue. Instead, he said, "I hate to do this to you right now, but I could kind of use a favor." Shane looked up, waiting to hear what Bo needed. "I drove Steve over here from the Cheating Heart and left my bike back there. Can you give me a ride?"

Shane wondered why Bo did not ask Kim, but she had not returned and Shane suspected she was deliberately keeping her distance for now. Maybe she did not want to discuss what happened, so there seemed little point in staying at the house.

On the way out, they ran into Simmons who said Kim was still in the back with the baby. _Avoiding us - or me - most likely_. As that thought crossed his mind, a particularly sharp blade seemed to stab the inside of Shane's skull.

"Hey, are you all right?"

They had just reached the car when Bo asked his question. Shane nodded as he got into the driver's side. "Just a headache. Lack of sleep probably."_ Lack of sleep and a lot of trouble caused by one Steve Johnson_.

"You sure you're okay to drive?" Bo asked.

"I've gone without sleep before, Bo. I'm perfectly capable of driving you a couple of miles." Shane started the ignition and put the car in gear.

"Hey! I was just asking. No need to bite my head off."

"I'm sorry," Shane said. Bo was right. There was no reason for Shane to take his anger at Steve out on Bo. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

They drove for a little while, until Bo broke the silence. "So what's really goin' on with you and Steve. I know it's not just about Stephanie. Steve said something about having some problems with you, you said something about a 'mess' Steve caused, and both of you look like you haven't slept in several days." When Shane did not respond, Bo asked, "It's Alamain, isn't it?"

_Why do all the Bradys have to be so good at reading my mind_? Shane wondered. "You know I couldn't tell you even if it was," Shane said, trying to dodge the question. He was not about to discuss Steve's foray into Lawrence's house and the tactical disaster it was for the ISA.

Shane's response seemed to provide all the answer Bo needed. "I figured there was more to it. Not that I would've blamed you for popping Steve for that comment about Kim." Bo chuckled to himself. "Nice punch by the way."

"Thanks," Shane said. "Not that a right cross is going to fix anything. I'm sure when I get back, Kim - well, if she'll even talk to me - will give me a lecture about how violence doesn't help anything."

"I think I got that lecture from her a few times in junior high." Bo studied Shane, who tried to focus on the road. "You know, Gov. . . . when you and Kim-"

"Bo, I really don't think this is the time." Shane could feel the thumping in his head intensifying.

"No, it's exactly the time," Bo said. "What I was saying is that, when you and Kim split, I was in a bad way, a mess." That was true. Hope died only a few weeks before Kim left Salem. Bo continued. "I wish I could've been a little less focused on myself, because I would have told you what I'm going to tell you now. "

"And what's that?" Shane asked.

"You're nuts."

Shane thought his head was about to explode. "Bo, this really-" He saw the Cheating Heart just down the street. "We're nearly there anyway."

Bo shook his head. "Well you might as well park, or come inside for a drink, because you're going to hear me out."

The last thing Shane needed was to return to the house smelling of stale smoke and alcohol, so he pulled the car to a stop and waited. "All right, Bo, go ahead."

"You're nuts because my sister loves you and you love her. Don't even try to deny it. You wouldn't have punched Steve if you didn't care for Kimber."

"Of course, I _care for _Kimberly," Shane said. "She's my son's mother, and we were together a long time. But just because I reacted to Kim being insulted doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah . . . you try to keep telling yourself that."

"This really is pointless." This was the same lecture Shane had gotten from Roman the day before. Shane started to look away, but Bo grabbed Shane's arm and jerked him back around.

"Don't screw this up," Bo said, sharply. "I pushed Hope away and only managed to get back to her just before she died. I don't go a day without regretting every day I missed out on, because I was a fool who had other things to do than spend time with the woman I loved. Then I turned around and made the same mistake with Carly and nearly lost her. Don't do it, Shane. Don't push Kim away; you'll only regret it in the end."

Shane stared out the front window. "It's not the same thing Bo. Hope loved you more than anything, and so does Carly."

"And that's how Kim feels about you, Gov'nor. If you don't see that, you really _are_ crazy." Bo let out a harsh laugh, and the noise echoed painfully in Shane's head. "You and Steve. . . ."

"What about Steve?" Shane said.

"Neither of you can see what's right in front of you. He acts like Kayla doesn't love him because she got together with you, and you assume Kim doesn't love you because of Winters."

"They're not the same thing." _Kayla didn't jump into my bed a few weeks after Steve died._

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Bo shook his head. "You and Steve . . . you're both a pair of blind fools. Instead of focusing on what you have, you're both too busy being mad about what you think you lost." He looked over at the bar. "Maybe you should start a brawl too, just to prove it."

Now Shane was confused, and it was not just from the headache. "What are you talking about? What brawl?"

"Nevermind," Bo said. "It was just earlier. Steve kind of went nuts while we were supposed to play pool with some chump. I don't know. Something weird happened with Steve and then the guy got in his face. Next thing you know, Steve's got the guy on the floor, the pool cue's rammed against his throat, and the guy's face is a bloody mess."

"And that's why you drove Steve's car and why you showed up at my place earlier than you should have?" Shane was beginning to put two and two together. "So Steve was already primed for a fight when he showed up."

"You've got a bit more training than that fool earlier." Bo chuckled again. "That really was a nice punch."

"Bo. . . ."

"Okay, okay. I'm done for now." He opened the car door and started to climb out, but then looked back inside. "You think about what I said, Gov'nor. Life's too short to waste being angry at the woman you love."

"Bo!"

"Okay." Bo held his hands up in mock protest. "That's it. Thanks for the ride."

Shane started to nod, but the movement just caused his head to thump again. Instead, in a voice tinged with sarcasm, he said, "You're welcome. I'll consider your words of wisdom my reward for a good deed. Try cash next time." Shane ignored Bo's dismissive laugh as he closed the door, took another deep breath, punched the car into gear, and headed home - to the next Brady lecture that awaited him.


	174. Chapter 173

After Steve left, Kim had spent some time with Jeannie and had then gone upstairs to tuck Andrew into bed. It gave her a distraction so she did not dwell on everything that had happened earlier. But once Andrew was tucked in with his teddy bear, there was no way for her to avoid reliving what she had heard of Steve and Shane's argument.

Kim debated just going to her room and trying to erase the entire day - to just pretend it never happened._ You know you can't do that_, she said to herself. She and Shane needed to talk. The only problem was that she did not know where even to begin.

She wandered aimlessly through the halls of the house for a little while, until she heard the front door open and close. After counting to 50, Kim walked slowly toward the library.

Shane was inside, pouring a brandy, and did not notice her at first. From the door, she watched him. As always, Shane made her heart race a little faster. He was still so handsome, and still so much about him reminded her of the young, gallant hero who had swept her off her feet with walks in the garden, romantic dinners, and nights spent by the fireplace. _And adventure and danger_. She could not deny how exciting that had been at the time - for both of them.

But as she studied him, she also could see how his dark hair was starting to show some gray, and, when he turned toward the door, she could not help but notice the lines around his eyes.

_A lot can happen in seven years_, she thought. They both were older, though maybe not any wiser.

"Kim . . . I, um, didn't see you there," Shane said, as he spotted her. "Can I get you something? I can fix a pot of tea."

She tried to remind herself that she was furious with him, but it was hard to be this close to him and not think of the past. "No," she said. "I'm fine."

Shane took a sip of his brandy. "I guess you want to talk."

"Yes . . . we probably should." Kim walked into the room and headed toward the couch. "I just don't know where to start."

He set down his glass. "Maybe we should start with Andrew and what happened with the school."

"I guess we should," Kim replied. That was the easier subject to discuss._ It's easier to discuss a sociopath trying to kill our son than to discuss how we feel about one other_. Shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation, she took a seat. "I know you think it's safer for Andrew to be here, but he belongs in school with other children his age."

Shane took a moment before he spoke. "I know we agreed to hire Mike so Andrew could have a normal life, but it's dangerous for him there. The school can't protect him."

Some of Kim's earlier anger was returning and her voice began to rise. "You're acting like I don't care about his safety. I do. I just don't want him to be a prisoner here."

"He's not a prisoner," Shane said. "He can go out to the lake now that Mike's here, and we'll make it so he can have his friends over."

"And why would they come here? If it's not safe enough for Andrew to go to school, what mother would let her kid come here?" Kim got up. She could not sit. "You should have seen that principal earlier today. The way he acted like I was some idiot who knew nothing. . . . He said the other parents complained about having Andrew there." She turned to Shane. "Remember how the same thing happened with Eve? You fought the school then."

"That was different." Shane's voice remained calm, which only frustrated Kim further. "Eve wasn't a danger to the other students. The principal has a point."

"How can you just stand there and defend that man?" she cried. "Oh . . . wait . . . You weren't there, were you? So you didn't see his condescension. You were too busy with your 'mission' to care about our son's welfare."

Shane's eyes narrowed and some of that calm veneer slipped away. "Now, wait a minute. I was-"

"You were where? At work, I know. I called to tell you, but you had more important priorities than our son."

"That's not true," Shane snapped. "I was at work, yes, but that's because I was trying to protect our son. I was at the ISA all night-"

"Of course you were," Kim yelled. "That's always where you were."

In a low, but angry voice, Shane said, "I was up all night trying to salvage our investigation of Lawrence after the untold amount of damage your brother-in-law caused. . . . I'm trying to put that man away for good so he doesn't hurt our son. That's the only thing I want." His voice rose sharply. "So don't tell me I don't care about Andrew!"

Kim did not respond. She remembered Shane saying something to Steve about a "mess." The room fell silent, and she watched Shane pace back-and-forth in front of the bookshelves.

"I do care," Shane said, his voice lower, the calm returning.

Kim's own anger receded a bit. "I know you do. I just wish you'd been there to support me; if the school knew you'd fight them, they might back down."

Shane pursed his lips. She could tell that he was struggling to decide what to do.

"Please, Shane," she begged. "Mike can keep him safe."

He looked away and she could see the war going on inside his head. Finally, he stopped pacing. "It goes against every ounce of common sense in me, but . . . fine. As long as Mickey says there's something we can do."

Reluctant support was better than no support, so Kim would accept that. She felt a twinge of glee as she smiled at Shane. "Thank you."

There was another awkward silence, which Shane used to get his glass and drink some more of the brandy. "I guess . . . well, I guess we should talk about what happened earlier. With Steve." He set the glass down, then looked at her. "He shouldn't have said that. I'm just sorry you had to hear it."

Unable to stop herself, Kim snorted.

"What?" Shane seemed confused.

"Don't act like you're some knight-in-shining-armor protecting my honor," Kim said. "We both know Steve only said what you think."

"That's not true," Shane protested.

Kim sighed. "Of course, it is. It's what you've thought ever since you regained your memory. And . . . let's face it, Shane, it's what you've always thought. How could I sleep with Cal? Or Lawrence? Or Victor? The past rears its ugly head."

"This isn't about the past," Shane said.

"You can say that all you want." Kim looked down at the floor. _It's what it's always been about_. "It all comes back to the past, to what I was before. Steve said exactly what you think. He just said it out loud. You can too. Say it. Say what you think - that I'm a whore."

"Damn it, that's not true." Shane glared at her. "You're the one who always brings up the past, not me."

It was always the same with Shane. He could deny it all he wanted, but Kim knew the truth. "You've never been able to let it go. To you, I'll always be that whore who had that parade of men come through my door."

"Stop it!" Shane stepped toward her and grabbed her arm. "You're wrong." But even as he spoke, she could detect a trace of doubt in his voice.

Kim pulled her arm free and turned away. "It's okay. . . . I can't really blame you, can I? After all those men. And then Cal . . . . I mean, why would you ever want to stay with me?"

From behind her, Shane spoke in a low and even voice. "That's got nothing to do with . . . what happened. It wasn't Cal . . . . I could have dealt with Cal. It's your damn lies. It's that you've never been able to trust me."

_That's not true_. Kim spun back around. "You're wrong. I do trust you. I've always trusted you. I'm here now because I trust you. With Andrew. With my life."

"But not your love, Kim." Shane's eyes shone with his pain. "You've never trusted me with your love."

Now, Kim was baffled. "Shane . . . I love you-"

"But not enough to trust me," he insisted. "If you trusted me, you wouldn't have lied to me. You would've believed our love - that what we had together would have survived the truth." He took a few steps backward, and turned away. "Didn't I prove myself with Andrew? Didn't I show you that I could understand, that it didn't matter if he was another man's child?"

"This was different-"

"Why?" Shane's voice came more sharply. "What was different?"

Kim shook her head. He could not possibly understand. "Because it was Cal . . . . He deceived me and he used me, and I had no excuse this time." Kim felt her face flush. Even now, she felt the embarrassment and shame. "You couldn't have understood."

Shane turned back. With a somber expression, he said, "At least, I would have had a chance to try. . . . But you didn't believe in me enough to let me try." He took a few steps, then ran a hand through his hair. "No matter how hard I tried, you never had faith in me." He stopped pacing, looked up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he asked, "Do you remember that time we were trying to find out who killed Emma, and we were at Neil's looking for evidence?"

Trying to recall what he meant, Kim searched her memory. That time had been so chaotic, and she had been so terrified about going to jail and losing any chance of finding Andrew. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"No, you wouldn't. . . ." Shane took a deep breath. "It probably was nothing really to you, so why would you remember? We were at the stables and Neil came in. I left to go see if I could find any other clues, and when I came back, you and Neil were talking."

Kim still had no recollection, so she said nothing and let Shane continue.

"You didn't realize I was there, but you were talking and Neil said you needed someone for support, but you said it couldn't be me. When push comes to shove, Kim, that's how it's always been. No matter how much I proved myself, how much I tried to prove that our love could overcome whatever obstacles were put in our path, you just couldn't trust that our love could survive. Back then. With Victor. When you left the first time. Over and over, you just couldn't trust that my love for you was strong enough."

The pain in his voice was so clear and his emotions so raw, that tears, unbidden, stung Kim's eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you," she said.

"No, I suspect you didn't," Shane said. "But you told Neil something that day. You said you couldn't handle the pain of our relationship, and that seems to be how things always went. We may never have wanted to hurt each other, but that's what we always did."

She could hear the undercurrent in his voice, and remembered that night at Donovan Manor when he had drunkenly asked her why she left, and why they couldn't be happy again. And even through the pain so visible in his eyes, she could still see the love.

"We can work through this," she said softly.

Shane shook his head slowly. "No. . . . I don't think we can. We used to say our love could get through anything, but I don't think we ever truly believed it. If we did, you would've trusted me and . . . I wouldn't have put these walls back up."

Kim felt a tear run down her cheek. "So I guess we both made mistakes."

"I guess we did," he said.

"So where does that leave us?" Kim knew Shane still loved her, and she knew he wanted to be with her. But her heart ached as she realized he would not admit it. Too much had happened, and maybe he was right. Maybe their love just could not overcome the damage they had caused.

Shane took a moment, as if he was debating his response. Then, with that same somber expression, he said, "It leaves us where we should be. We're Andrew's parents and . . . friends, I guess."

Kim shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears. _We could be so much more_, she thought._ We can change. I can change. I do trust you_. But she could not find the words to say that and, even if she could have, she doubted she would. She had some pride left. She took a couple of breaths and then opened her eyes, only to realize that Shane had stepped close to her. He reached out, brushed the back of his hand against her cheek, and wiped away some of her tears.

Just his touch caused her heart to flutter. Looking up into his eyes, Kim could see what he was trying to deny. They were more than just friends; they always would be. The love and the desire were still there. She knew he still wanted her as much as she wanted him, and she reached up to take his hand in hers.

"No." Shane jerked his hand away and the momentary spell was broken. He took a few steps backward, increasing the distance between them, until he neared the doorway. "No."

Then he turned on his heels and disappeared through the door, and left Kim completely alone.


	175. Chapter 174

Steve strained against the wires on his wrists. The cold metal cut into his flesh. The blindfold blocked his vision, but he could feel each and every blow to his body.

"Mama! Papa!" Stephanie's voice cut through the sounds of the beating.

"Stephanie!" Steve yelled, sitting up. He looked quickly around him, trying to find the source of the threat to his daughter.

"Mama! Papa!" Stephanie called again.

Standing up, Steve realized that he must have been having another nightmare. He had awoken from one after falling asleep in Stephanie's room, and had moved to the couch in the living room. He must have fallen asleep again out there.

Walking quickly into Stephanie's room, Steve found her standing against the rails of her crib. She smiled broadly when she saw him and raised her arms to him.

"Good morning, baby girl," Steve said, picking her up. "Are you ready to see Mama today?"

"Mama," Stephanie repeated.

"That's right. Your mama is coming home soon." Steve said softly. Nothing had seemed right since Kayla had left two days ago and Steve could not wait to have her home again.

Checking the time, Steve knew he had to get himself and Stephanie moving to get ready to meet Kayla's plane. He carried her to the kitchen and fed Stephanie her breakfast, while somehow managing to down a couple of pieces of toast for himself.

He then gave Stephanie her bath, got her dressed and prepared to go. He was feeling rather pleased with himself until he realized he still needed to shower and change as well.

Moving Stephanie's playpen into the bedroom and filling it with her favorite stuffed animals, Steve showered in record time, jumping out only twice to make sure she was okay. Overcoming several interruptions along the way, Steve managed to shave and get dressed. He briefly wondered how Kayla had managed to do this every day by herself.

Finally, they were ready to go - with just minutes to spare. He gathered up Stephanie and headed out the door.

Driving to the airport, Steve checked his watch again and laughed. He had made much better time than expected and was actually a few minutes early. He decided to put those minutes to good use and pulled into the parking lot of a flower store. Soon after, he and Stephanie had purchased a nice bouquet of yellow roses for Kayla.

Steve was putting Stephanie back in her car seat when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He stood up and saw Abe Carver walking in his direction.

"Abe," Steve called as Abe walked up. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Steve." Abe shook Steve's hand. "Welcome home."

"Thanks, man."

"So what are you and Stephanie up to this morning?" Abe asked, smiling in at Stephanie.

"Just headed to the airport to pick up Kayla," Steve replied. He checked his watch again. "In fact, we better get going if we want to make it on time."

"Well, I won't keep you," Abe said. "Tell Kayla 'hello' for me."

"Will do." Steve turned back toward the car, then had an idea. He stopped and spun around. "Hey Abe?"

"Yeah?"

"Now that I'm home, I was thinking-" Steve paused, unsure if he was doing the right thing.

"Thinking what?" Abe said.

"I was thinking about getting my job back with the Salem PD." The words came out in a rush. "Do you think that would be possible?"

Abe hesitated for a moment and Steve felt like he was being studied. Eventually, Abe said, "Well you would have to formally apply for reinstatement." Abe seemed to think for another moment. "Then Roman or I will review the application, we'd discuss it, and we'd make a recommendation to the Police Commissioner. If he approves the application, then you'd be back on the force."

Steve nodded. "How long would that process take?"

"It varies," Abe replied. "If everything looks good, it'll be quick. If we need more information, it could take longer." Steve felt like Abe was studying him again. "You're okay? I mean with the amnesia and all?"

"I'm fine," Steve said. "In perfect shape."

"Well, in that case, I don't think it would take that long - a few days at most." Abe no longer sounded as doubtful. "Why don't you stop by on Monday and fill out the paperwork - if that's what you decide to do. Maybe we can talk some more about it then."

"Sounds good." Steve glanced at his watch again. "Now I've really got to go."

Abe smiled. "You definitely don't want to be late picking your wife up. That can only get you in trouble."

Steve returned the smile. And I'm already in more than enough trouble as it is. He got into the car and resumed the trip to the airport as the events of the last two days ran through his mind. He was going to have a lot of explaining to do to Kayla and he had a hunch that his decision to explore reinstatement might be the worst of the lot.


	176. Chapter 175

The one problem with having people come into town for meetings is that it became impossible to cancel them. Shane wished he could have done just that as he pulled off the expressway at the airport exit.

But it was far too late to cancel his meeting with Dr. Bowers. She would be landing soon and, once he knew what they were dealing with, he would make his pitch to Carly. Shane needed her on this job. His options were Carly or Marcus, and Marcus was too close to Steve to be trusted. Not to mention that Carly was already on the research team, so that provided cover for Shane to meet with her.

_That's good. Keep focused on work._

As he turned into the airport parking lot, he repeated that mantra. If he could just think about work, everything would be fine.

_Oh, who the bloody hell am I kidding_?

Focusing on work was about the last thing Shane could do. He had spent another sleepless night in his bedroom replaying the litany of disasters of the day before - Steve's interrogation, the confrontation with Tarrington, the fight at the house, and, most of all, his talk with Kim.

"_We can work through this_." Kim's voice echoed in his head.

For a brief moment, he had wanted to agree with her. It had taken all his strength to say no. And even then, he had almost given in. When he saw her weeping, he could not stop himself from wanting to comfort her. When he touched her, he wanted to take her in his arms. If Kim had not forced the issue . . . if she had left the next step for him to make. . . .

Shane pulled the car into an empty parking space, stopped it, and turned off the motor. He made no effort to get out.

Just yesterday, at the hospital, he had vowed to keep his distance from Kim. Yet, only a few hours later, he had let her back inside his walls. And who was he kidding? He would given in. He would have taken her in his arms, carried her to the sofa, and made love to her. Even now, he regretted walking away.

That same regret had kept him awake all night. As he tried to force himself to sleep, he had battled the desire and temptation to go to her. How many times had he approached his door? How many times had he started to open it, only to stop himself from turning the knob?

He ran his hands over his face. Kim was like an addiction. As much as he wanted her, Shane knew keeping distant was the right thing to do. They would only hurt each other again, and he could not take that pain. It had nearly destroyed him before; he doubted he could survive if she left him again.

In the back of his head, he heard a voice call him a coward. Maybe it was right. Maybe Kim was right. Maybe they could work things out this time. But then he remembered what he had said to her. As much as they tried to tell themselves that their love could overcome everything, they had never really believed it. Kim had never fully trusted him, and he . . . he could not keep his heart open to her when he was angry or hurt. The walls invariably came back.

That was why he needed to maintain his distance. It also was why he needed to end this threat from Lawrence. He needed to end this torture. Being in such close proximity to Kim invited disaster.

A plane roared overhead, jarring him out of those thoughts. Shane reminded himself why he was here. He was supposed to be working. _Focus on work. _The thought caused his mind to flash back to the air force base in Cyprus when he pledged to use work to distract his mind from Kayla. Now he would do the same with Kim. Work would get him through.

With that thought, Shane refocused. _Forget the night before. Just focus on the job at hand_. He picked up the car phone, dialed University Hospital, and asked for Carly. He waited while she was paged. Eventually, she answered.

"Shane?" She sounded curious about why he was calling.

He quickly explained to her that he had a matter he wanted to discuss with her about the lab, and was wondering if she could meet him at the ISA office. Shane also told her that he did not want to discuss it at the hospital, and he hoped she would not mention it to anyone until he could explain. She seemed hesitant, but finally agreed to meet with him in a few hours.

Good. That took care of that part of the plan. Now, he had to learn a bit more about the toxin. He glanced at his watch and realized that Dr. Bowers' plane had probably just landed. He got out of the car and headed for the terminal so he could meet her at the gate.

"Blast it," he said, as he stepped inside and spotted the "arrivals" monitor. The flight from Washington was delayed for another 15 minutes. He paced around a bit, hating to be wasting even a minute of time, then stopped short as he glanced around. Coming through the doors was Kayla.

_Of course_, Shane thought. _If her hearing was yesterday, she's probably just getting back_.

He studied her for a moment. She looked preoccupied as she looked around the terminal. Looking for Steve, no doubt. Shane felt a momentary twinge of jealousy, but just shook his head. It was silly for him to feel jealous, but he also knew that his jealousy was not over Kayla being with Steve. It was jealousy at what they had.

Shane was jealous that Steve and Kayla seemed to be able to do what he and Kim could never do - they trusted that their love would get them through everything. When Kayla found out about what had happened with Steve the day before, she would probably be angry, but they would work through it. Their love and trust in each other would overcome anything. _Isn't that what true love's all about_?

After watching her for a moment longer, Shane turned away and remembered that he was supposed to be focusing on work. On Bowers. On Carly. On the lab.

That made him think about his meeting with Julie and Neil the day before and their discussion of Kayla. Shane wondered if he should talk to her about their decision. She seemed to still be looking around and Shane had little else to do until Bowers arrived. He quickly scanned the terminal, just to make sure there was no sigh of Steve, but the coast seemed clear.

Shane started to cross the terminal toward Kayla, called her name, and reminded himself that this was strictly business.


	177. Chapter 176

Kayla walked off the plane and looked around the waiting area for Steve. The flight had landed early, so she was not entirely surprised that he was not there yet.

As she kept an eye on the people moving through the terminal, she heard a familiar voice call her name. Turning, she saw Shane walking towards her.

Kayla was surprised and confused to see him there. "Shane, what are you doing here?"

"I'm meeting someone. I'm just on my way to her gate and I saw you here."

"Oh." Kayla kept looking nervously towards the entry to the terminal. She did not want to be rude, but she did not want to deal with what was bound to happen if Steve arrived to find Shane there.

"So how did your hearing go?" Shane asked.

"It was fine," Kayla said absently, still looking for Steve.

"Good," Shane replied. "I wanted you to know that I talked with Neil and Julie, and the position at the lab is still yours - as soon as your reinstatement comes through."

That caught Kayla's attention. "I don't even know when or if that is going to happen."

"I have faith in you," Shane said. For the first time since he had approached her, she noticed how tired he looked. The thought briefly crossed her mind that not that long ago she would have been pushing him to tell her what was so clearly bothering him. Even now, Kayla thought about asking him what was wrong, but she really did not want to prolong the conversation - not with Steve due to show up at any moment. Before she could figure out how to politely escape the conversation, Shane spoke again. "It doesn't really matter, actually. We left it that we'd hold the position open for you until you're reinstated. But even if that doesn't happen, I'll just convince them that it doesn't matter. You don't need a nursing license to be the lab administrator, and who cares what the hospital board thinks. Julie and I fund the lab."

Kayla felt both uncomfortable and appreciative. Shane knew what the lab meant to her. She had worked so hard to get the lab up and running. It had been a distraction from her grief and something that made her life feel meaningful again. It was as much a part of her life as the Emergency Center and Community Center had been. But the lab also was tied directly to Shane and her relationship with him. His comment only reminded her that he controlled the purse-strings and could use that power to control her employment.

"Look. . . ." Kayla searched for a way to turn Shane down without hurting his feelings. "I appreciate that you want to help, but I'm not sure that's what is best for the lab."

"What do you mean?" Shane sounded surprised. "You know how that lab runs better than anybody. Of course, it's best for the lab for you to return."

"Like I said, I have no idea when - or if - that reinstatement is going to come through." Kayla refused to meet Shane's eyes. "It's probably better for everybody if you just find somebody else to run it, so that the lab isn't stuck in limbo waiting for me."

Shane's eyes narrowed. "What's really going on Kayla? If you don't want to return to the lab, just say so."

Kayla sighed softly. "It's not that I don't want to return, Shane. The lab means a lot to me, you know that."

"I thought I did," Shane said.

"There's just a lot going on with my life right now. I'm not sure it's the right time to return to the lab - assuming the board even reinstates me." She looked up to see Shane studying her carefully. Unable to meet his look, she turned away.

"What you really mean is that you don't think that Steve would like you working at the lab - working with me?" Shane said, his voice tight. "That's what this is all about?"

"I really don't want to get into this with you right now." Kayla's frustration was growing. "Steve's going to be here any minute, and the last thing any of us need is another scene."

"I'm not going to cause a scene." Shane ran his hand through his hair. "But I know how hard you worked to get that lab going. You shouldn't have to give that up because of Steve's petty jealousies and insecurities."

"That's not what this is about," Kayla snapped. This time, she looked Shane directly in the eyes. "What I choose to do or not do with my career - if I even have one - is none of your business. It's between me and Steve."

Shane stepped back and took a breath. "Okay . . . You're right. This is between you and Steve, and it's really not any of my business. It's just the lab is my business, and nobody can run the lab better than you." Shane sighed. "You shouldn't let Steve and his jealousy take that away from you. You deserve better than that."

"Deserves better than what? Me?"

Kayla whirled around to see Steve standing there. He held a bouquet of yellow roses in one hand and Stephanie in the other.

"Steve!"

"Hey, Sweetness." Steve kept a smile on his face and handed Kayla the roses. "Welcome home, baby." He gave Shane a hard look. "Still can't help yourself, can you Donovan?"

"Steve-" Kayla hoped the pleading tone of her voice told him not to cause a scene.

"It's okay, Kayla," Shane said. He turned to Steve. "I just ran into Kayla while waiting for another flight to land. I should head over there now anyway."

"Yeah, you probably should," Steve said. "You wouldn't want to be late."

"Right." Shane glanced back to Kayla. "Just think about what I said."

Kayla nodded and turned back to Steve, while Shane walked away. His eye was still focused on Shane and she could see a bruise on his cheek. She sighed inwardly and wondered where that latest battle wound had come from.

"Mama!" Stephanie said, squirming in Steve's arms.

"Hi, baby doll." Kayla swooped Stephanie out of Steve's arm, hugged her daughter close, and kissed her cheek. "Did you miss me?"

"Almost as much as I did," Steve said softly.

Looking up at him, Kayla gave a small smile. "I missed you too." She paused. "I'm sorry about Shane-"

"Don't be sorry, baby." Steve ran his hand across Kayla's cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Kayla stared into Steve's eye, sensing a deeper meaning behind his words. But she did not get a chance to ask, because Steve leaned down and kissed her softly. Kayla returned the kiss, oblivious to the people around them.

A squirming Stephanie brought them back to reality. They separated, and Steve smiled as he took Stephanie back from Kayla.

"Come on, Sweetness. Let's go home. I think we have some things we need to talk about."


	178. Chapter 177

The monkey sat crouched on the floor of the room and picked at the remnants of a banana. Seeming to grow uninterested in the peel, it stood, began walking around the room, and examined the furniture.

Shane turned away from the television screen. "So what are we looking for?"

"Keep watching," Dr. Bowers said.

Looking back, Shane watched as the video continued to play. The monkey on the screen stumbled, its arms giving way, and it fell forward.

From behind him, he heard Bowers say, "That's the muscle weakness."

"How long has it been?" Shane asked.

"This is about five minutes after ingesting the banana. Injected directly into the blood stream, the effects would probably start after a minute or so."

Shane remembered the doctor's statements about a gas. "And inhaled?"

"It depends on the concentration of the toxin," Bowers explained. "The toxin we're using here from leiurus quinquestriatus - that's the deathstalker scorpion - is lethal in high doses, but the sting usually isn't fatal to an adult human because the injected amount isn't great enough. What we put into that banana is probably ten-thousand times the normal dose a human would get, but that's because we had to take into account the likelihood that only a fraction of the toxin might get into the subject's bloodstream. The same is true of a gas. But if it's highly concentrated and easily passed through the alveoli in the lung, it could be almost as effective as a direct injection. The effects could begin in two to three minutes."

As she spoke, Shane continued to watch the screen. The monkey had given up trying to walk and was now in a seated position. It looked like it was falling asleep.

"See how its eyelids are almost closed?" Bowers said. "That's ptosis. When the muscles are affected, it usually starts at the extremities and unimportant muscles. So the eyelids droop and the jaw goes slack."

So it was not sleeping. _No, definitely not sleeping_, Shane thought as the monkey began to shake and shriek simultaneously. It fell on its side as the convulsions wracked its body. The cries came loudly through the television speakers.

_They did this to Steve_. The image on the screen was replaced with an image of Steve in a similar room. Shane tried to shake the image and focus on what was actually on screen, but even that made his stomach pitch as he saw the monkey continue to writhe and scream in pain.

Not wanting to watch any more, Shane closed his eyes and tried to shut out the sounds. But then he remembered this was his job. He had to know what Lawrence intended, no matter how much it disgusted him. Shane forced himself to open his eyes and watch the screen, even as he fought the nausea rising within him.

Mercifully, the shaking and screaming stopped. The monkey lay on its side, unmoving. He asked, "What's happening now?"

"The paralytic has taken full effect. It can't move its extremities, and it's starting to affect the involuntary muscles now. The ones that control breathing will stop functioning son."

On-screen, the monkey did not move, but it looked like it was struggling to breathe. Shane remembered the description from Kim of how Steve felt his chest tightening. Unbidden, the image flashed in his head of Steve lying still on a floor and trying futilely to get some air.

"Turn it off," Shane ordered. He turned away. "I've seen enough." The image in his head faded, but the dread persisted. _Lawrence intends to do that to people in Salem_._ To my friends and family._ Just the thought started to make him feel sick again.

"Captain?"

"Turn it off," he repeated. Shane took a couple of shallow breaths, then looked at Bowers. "How quickly can you prepare an antidote?"

She shrugged. "It all depends. We already have some things underway to respond to this toxin - an improvement over the existing antivenom - but there's no guarantee that it will work for the one Alamain is devising."

"So we need-" He was cut off by a knock on the door. An aide poked a head in.

"A Dr. Manning is here to see you, sir," he said.

Shane nodded. "Double-check that all the operations rooms are closed off and bring her here." Shane did not want Carly getting an eyeful. The drab conference room they were in would tell her nothing about what was going on.

A few minutes later, the aide led Carly into the room.

"Carly," Shane said with a smile that required almost all of his will to force across his face. He took her hand as the aide left and closed the door behind him. "Allow me to introduce you to someone, Dr. Lindy Bowers. Dr. Bowers, this is Dr. Manning, who I told you about."

The women shook hands and then Carly turned to face him. "Okay, Shane, why don't you tell me what's going on and why you asked me here?"

"Straight and to-the-point as always," Shane said. "Quite simply, I need your help."

Carly's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "For what?"

"That's confidential. Before I can even tell you, I need you to guarantee that you won't reveal any of it to anyone - and I mean Bo."

"Then you can forget it," Carly said. She started to walk toward the door.

"Even if it means saving a lot of lives?" Shane asked. "Possibly a lot of people in Salem." Carly stopped where she was, but remained with her back to him. But even as she seemed to debate it, Shane knew she would turn around. "I wouldn't have asked for your help if I didn't need it."

Carly turned and crossed her arms defensively. "I assume this has something to do with the ISA."

"I need you to agree-"

"Fine. I won't tell anyone," she said.

_Good enough_, Shane told himself."I'm going to keep you to that." He glanced over at Bowers, who gave him a curt nod. Returning to Carly, he said, "Why don't you take a seat?"

Still with a suspicious expression, she moved to the table and sat down. "Okay . . . go ahead."

Shane took his own seat. He debated running the video again to show Carly what they were facing, but he had no idea how she might react to seeing the experiment. Carly had been very vocal about Jencon and the impact of the oil spill on local wildlife.

_Not to mention that I don't want to ever see it again._

Deciding against using the video until Carly was on board, Shane chose just to come out and tell Carly what he suspected. "We have reason to believe there may be a chemical attack on Salem." Shane watched as Carly recoiled in shock. "I need your help to make sure we catch it at the first signs of trouble, and I want to use the lab to stockpile possible antidotes without attracting attention."

"Attention?" Carly was still reeling.

Bowers answered before Shane could. "Shipping significant quantities of the antidote to a local hospital would raise questions."

"And possibly start a panic," Shane added. "That's why this has to be done in secret. Dr. Bowers and her lab will do most of the work, but we'd like your input as well."

"Won't my involvement raise questions?"

"I've already talked with Neil and Julie," Shane said. "You'll be working on a side project for a few months. Your regular duties will be assumed by another researcher. We'll come up with some type of phony grant that you've received to cover expenses and to explain why you're working with Dr. Bowers. She has no known connections to the ISA."

"Except for coming here," Carly pointed out.

"Dr. Bowers is visiting Salem on her way to a conference, and I asked her here to discuss a private research venture - much like the immunology lab." Shane studied Carly's response as he laid down the cover story. "Your project with her is a first step to determining if the venture will be worthwhile. That's why I need a second opinion in Salem of . . . of someone I can trust."

There was a long pause. Then Carly nodded. "So what do I do?"

Shane felt a sense of relief. He had been uncertain if Carly would agree, but he had pushed the right buttons. "Two things. First, you'll work with Dr. Bowers on various antidotes. We're at a stage where we can just speculate about what we're dealing with."

"What?" Carly eyed him. "You're flying blind?"

"Not exactly," Shane said. "We know the symptoms and that's led us to narrow down the likely types of toxins involved. The second thing we need is for you to be our eyes and ears at University Hospital. If anyone comes in with the kind of symptoms we're expecting, you'll be able to report it right away."

"What kind of symptoms?" Carly asked.

"Dr. Bowers can explain all of that." Shane looked at the researcher. "Can I leave this to you?"

Bowers nodded. He wondered if she knew that he wanted to get out of there before she showed Carly the video. As Shane stood up from the table, he debated whether to tell Carly one more thing. _She's going to find out so it's better that it comes from me_, he decided.

"There's something else you should know," he said to Carly. "The man behind this plot is Lawrence Alamain."

She did not seem as surprised as he expected. There was a long pause as she mulled over Lawrence's involvement. "I should have figured that. From things Lawrence said when Bo was sick, it sounded like he was involved with the virus. Do you think this is connected?"

"Maybe. The virus could have been a dry run for this. Bu . . ." Shane's mind flashed again to the dying monkey and then to Steve. But it did not stop with Steve. He saw Kim and Andrew, lying there . . . dying. Shane took a deep breath and fought the bile rising his chest, before he finally managed to say, "But if Lawrence manages to succeed, it'll make the virus seem like child's play."


	179. Chapter 178

Steve sat back on the couch and waited for Kayla to return from putting Stephanie down for her nap. Despite the open acknowledgment that they had many things to talk about, the ride home from the airport had been mostly quiet. Stephanie's happy babbling from the back seat provided most of the conversation.

Once they had arrived home, they had spent some time playing with Stephanie and talking about anything that would not lead to the very things they needed to talk about most. Finally, Stephanie's yawns had signaled nap time and Kayla had picked her up and carried her off.

He looked up as Kayla walked back into the living room and sat down beside him on the couch. They looked at each other for a long moment before Kayla reached up and gently touched the bruise on Steve's cheek.

"You want to tell me how this happened?" she asked. "What happened the other night?"

Steve could not help but smile. "That's two different stories, Sweetness. Which one do you want first?"

Kayla blinked in surprise. Then she sighed and said, "I guess you better just start from the beginning."

Steve hesitated. He knew he had promised to tell her the whole story, and he had no doubt she would hold him to it. But he also knew she was not going to be happy with him, and he was not sure he could make her understand.

"Steve?" Kayla's voice was calm, but insistent. "You said we'd talk about this when I got home. So start talking."

Steve nodded and began telling the story. He described how he had remembered the wine bottle and how he had recalled Kim's mention of Lawrence's wine cellar. He watched Kayla's eyes grow wide when he talked about breaking into Lawrence's house, and saw the storm building in those eyes as he described what had taken place inside and how the ISA had dragged him out.

He finished by telling her about Donovan holding him at ISA headquarters and that the wine bottles were gone by the time the ISA went back. Then he waited for the thunder that was sure to follow the storm.

"So," Kayla said, her voice one of barely controlled fury. "You remembered the wine bottle and decided that the only thing you could do was break into Lawrence's house - alone - and find it?"

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me, Steve," Kayla snapped. "What the hell were you thinking?" She rolled her eyes. "Don't answer that, because you obviously weren't thinking at all."

"That's not true, Kayla." Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I was thinking that this was my best chance to stop Alamain before he hurt even more people." He stood and began pacing. "I told you that they were testing something new on me. You and I both know that it's not just for fun. Alamain has plans for that stuff."

"I understand that," Kayla said, a bit calmer now. "What I don't understand is why you had to go in alone - or at all? Why didn't you just tell Shane what you remembered? Or Roman? Let them handle it."

"Let them handle it?" Steve turned and looked at Kayla. "Like they handled Alamain 'killing' me? Or the virus? Or Jennifer's rape?" He shook his head. "No, Kayla. Roman and Donovan play by the rules and Alamain knows it."

Steve watched as Kayla turned away and ran a hand over the arm of the couch. He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever Alamain is working on is dangerous, Kayla. And my gut tells me that he's not going to forget Salem when he decides to put it into use." He turned Kayla to face him. "I have to do whatever I can to protect you and Stephanie and the rest of our family. Can't you understand that?"

"What about you, Steve?" Tears sprang into Kayla's eyes. "While you're risking your life to protect everybody else, who's going to protect you?"

"Oh, baby." Steve's heart clinched at the sight of Kayla's tears, hating that he put them there. "I can take care of myself. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"Don't say that, Steve." Kayla's voice grew angry again. "You just told me that the ISA pulled you out of that house because one of Alamain's guards was about to find you. What do you think would have happened if they had?"

Steve mentally kicked himself for including that bit of information in his description. "I would have gotten away, Kayla. It would take more than one of Alamain's guards to stop me. Like I said, I can take care of myself. I always have."

"Except for when Alamain took you the last time," Kayla said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Steve flinched at Kayla's words. He could hear the anger and hurt in her voice. But he also heard something else - fear. "That's not going to happen again," he said sharply.

Kayla laughed harshly. "You can't guarantee that, Steve." She looked at him. "Answer my question. What do you think would have happened if they had captured you?"

Steve turned away. He knew all too well what would have happened. A return trip to a cell or a shallow grave somewhere. But somebody had to stop Alamain. He just needed to find a way to make Kayla understand. As he was searching for the right words, Kayla spoke again.

"Do you love me?" Kayla's voice was quiet and calm this time. "Do you love our daughter?"

Steve spun around, stunned at Kayla's question. As he looked into her eyes, he could see she was serious. Steve felt a fear he had never felt before as he choked out his reply. "Of course I love you and Stephanie. You know I do. How can you even ask that question?"

Soft tears ran down Kayla's face. "Then why do you seem so eager to leave us again?" she demanded. "Do you have any idea what that would do to us - to me?"

Steve's heart nearly broke. He had expected Kayla to be angry with him, but he had never expected that she would doubt his love for her. "Kayla-"

"No, Steve." She cut him off. "When I couldn't reach you the other night, all I could do was think of all the bad things that might be happening. Were you hurt? Or worse?" Kayla stood up and wiped the tears from her face. "I crawled into that bed and relived everything that happened after that boat explosion. Do have any idea how that feels?"

Steve felt the guilt wash over him in waves, as the tears continued to fall down Kayla's face. He had been so eager to get the goods on Alamain that he had not considered how any of it might affect Kayla. But he also was not sure he would have done anything differently.

"Baby, I don't want to leave you. You've gotta believe that." He stared into Kayla's eyes, begging her to see what he was trying to say. "I'm sorry that I scared you the other night and I wish I could make those bad memories go away." Steve reached out a brushed his hand across Kayla's cheek. "You have to know that all I want to do is be with you and watch our daughter grow up. It's all I've ever wanted." He paused, taking a shaky breath. "But I can't sit around and wait for Alamain to hit back at us. Somebody has to do something."

"Somebody?" Kayla's voice was raw with emotion. "Not somebody, Steve. You. Always you." The tears streamed down her face as her voice rose. "You had to go into Alamain's house. You had to go after Jencon. You had to go after Bo that night. Why?"

"Sweetness-"

"No!" Kayla yelled, balling her hands into fists. "You tell me why it's always you, Steve." Her fist struck his chest. "Why did you have to leave the party that night? Why didn't you stay when I begged you too stay with me?" Her fists continued to beat on his chest as she let out one last anguished cry. "Why did you die?"

Steve knew he had no answers for her questions. All he could do was wrap arms around Kayla and hold her to his chest as she poured out her anger and her grief. Each sob was like a knife to his heart. He remembered Kayla telling him how she had grieved after she thought he had died, but this was the first time he had really let himself feel her pain. He had been so wrapped up in his own emotions that he had been unable to see hers. Steve felt the tears on his own cheek as he pulled her even closer.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said over and over again as he stroked her hair. After a few moments, he felt her grow still and the only sounds were her soft sobs muffled against his chest.


	180. Chapter 179

Kayla felt Steve's strong arms wrapped around her and heard him murmuring soft words in her hair. She finally lifted her head and looked at him. His eye was filled with love and concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Kayla gave a harsh chuckle at his question. _Was she okay_? _Yes. No. Sometimes_. In some ways she had not been okay since the day she thought he had died.

"Sweetness?" She heard the worry in his voice. "Talk to me, baby."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, pulling away from him. "Do you want me to tell you that I'm fine with you running off to take on Lawrence on your own? I can't do that."

She felt Steve pull her back to him. "I know you're scared, baby," he said quietly. "But I'm scared too. I'm scared of what might happen to you and Stephanie if Alamain isn't stopped."

Kayla took a deep breath and wiped her tears, then looked up at Steve. "I understand that you think you can protect us by going after Lawrence. But I don't know how to accept the risks you take if you do that. I just don't." She pulled herself from him and turned away. She heard his voice behind her.

"What if I don't do it on my own?"

Kayla turned back around and looked at Steve with suspicion. "What do you mean?"

Steve did not move from where he was standing. "I ran into Abe Carver on the way to the airport this morning. I asked him about getting reinstated to the Salem PD."

"You did what?" Kayla couldn't believe her ears. "I thought we talked about this."

"We did talk about it." Steve spoke calmly. "I said I would wait until things were resolved with your suspension. But things have changed, baby."

"What do you mean? What's changed?"

"We talked about it before Alamain went after Andrew. It was also before I remembered everything about the new stuff Alamain is working on." She recognized the determination in his voice. "It was before we knew he was coming after our family again."

Kayla felt the icy grip of fear on her heart again. She wanted to scream at him that he could not do it, that it was too dangerous, but she knew it would not do any good. If he did not work with the Salem PD, he would just go out on his own again - just as he had done the night she left for the capitol. A sudden thought occurred to her.

"You just talked about how Roman plays by the rules and how that won't work against Lawrence." Kayla eyed Steve carefully. "So why would you want to go back to the PD now?"

Kayla did not miss the small smile that crossed Steve's face, or the flash of guilt in his eye.

"You're right. Roman does play by the rules, but he also has information. And he made it clear that he won't share that information unless I'm back on the job." Steve ran his hand across his face. "I can't protect us if I don't know what's going on."

"I'm sure Roman or Shane would tell us if there was an immediate threat." Kayla said, still wanting to reason with him.

Steve laughed harshly. "I'm pretty sure Shane wouldn't tell me if Lawrence was standing outside this door. Not after what happened the other night." He took a deep breath and unconsciously adjusted the patch over his eye. "If I'm on the PD, then at least I'll have some information to work with."

"And it doesn't matter what I think about it?" Kayla was hurt and angry again.

"It does matter," Steve said firmly. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. God knows, I've done enough of that. I just want you to understand why I'm doing this. You know me, Kayla. You know that I can't sit back and wait. That's not who I am."

Kayla turned away again, unable to accept the truth in his eye. She did know him. She had known that his sudden disappearance the other night had been about Alamain precisely because she knew him so well. One reason she had fallen in love with him was the part of him that would do anything to protect her or anyone else he loved. But that same protective instinct had also cost her more than she cared to remember.

Looking back, she could see that this same conflict had always been there between them. Steve, by his very nature, looked for action - for adventure of some sort. It had been there when he had been so insistent on finding a job after they first got married. She had watched as he had tried to convince himself that working at the Fish Market would make him happy simply because he knew it would make her happy. She had never wanted him to make that sacrifice for her.

Then he had taken the job with the ISA and gone undercover. She had lived in fear for weeks, and that fear had driven her to take risks of her own. When Marina had busted into their lives, she felt a different kind of fear - that Marina represented a life of adventure and mystery that Kayla could not give him. For the first time, Kayla had been afraid that maybe she and Steve really did want different things in life and that the love they shared would not be enough. But they had survived that challenge, in large part, because Steve had refused to allow her to give up on what they had. And then she had lost him anyway.

"Kayla?" Steve's voice shook Kayla from her thoughts. "Talk to me, baby."

She turned back to face him. "You're right, Steve. I do know you. And I love you for wanting to protect me and Stephanie. But I don't know how to stop the fear." She shrugged slightly. "I don't know how to pretend that it doesn't scare me to death."

"I don't want you to pretend, Kayla." He ran his hand softly down her face. "I wish you could understand why I need to do this, but if you can't, I want you to be honest with me."

She looked at him and again noticed the bruise on his face. "You know . . . you never told me how you got that bruise."

Steve put a hand to face, gingerly touching the spot on his cheek. "Don't change the subject, Kayla. We need to talk this out."

"I don't think there is anything left to talk about, Steve. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. And as much as I want to give you some kind of ultimatum - to tell you that you have to choose between me and your need to go after Lawrence - I can't do it." Kayla paused and looked deeply into the eye of the man she loved more than life itself. "I guess all I can tell you is to do what you have to do. Just remember that it's not just your life you're playing with."

There was another long moment of silence. Once again, the invisible wall rose between them. Steve could no more back off from Alamain than Kayla could stop being afraid. She knew that he wanted to stop Alamain so she would no longer be afraid. And she knew she would never stop being afraid as long as he was determined to go after Alamain. It was a perfect, unbreakable circle.

She watched Steve walk to the couch and slump down with face in his hands. She knew he was hurting and she hated it, just as she knew he hated that he was hurting her. She walked over and sat down next to him.

"Tell me how you got the bruise," she said softly.

Steve gave her a small smile. "You don't give up, do you baby?"

"I never have yet." She looked into his eye. "Or have you forgotten that about me?"

"No," Steve said, stroking her cheek. "I haven't forgotten anything."

"So did you and Bo get into a brawl at the Heart or something?" Kayla ran her hand over the bruised knuckles on Steve's hand.

Steve lowered his eyes. "Sort of . . . I guess. But that's not how I got the bruise on my face." He took a deep breath. "Long story short. . . . I left Stephanie with Kim because she said Shane wouldn't be home. After Bo and I got kicked out of the Heart, we went to Shane's to pick Stephanie up. Shane was there, holding Stephanie, when I walked in."

"Uh oh." Kayla knew she would not like what he was going to say next.

"Yeah. I saw that, and I guess I lost my temper. Again." Steve sighed softly. "I said some things I shouldn't have and Shane popped me." Steve fingered the bruise again. "I suppose I deserved this one."

Kayla wanted to be angry, but she could tell that Steve was feeling sincerely guilty this time. She could only hope that this would be some kind of turning point for Steve. She suddenly realized that she had spent two days worrying about the talk they would have about his anger at her and they hadn't even gotten to that topic.

Silence filled the room as they sat together, each lost in their own thoughts. The silence was finally broken by the calls of "Mama, Papa" from Stephanie. Kayla watched as Steve rose to go retrieve their daughter. After a few steps, Steve turned and walked back to the couch and held out his hand. Kayla gave a soft smile and took his hand and followed him into Stephanie's room. Whatever walls might be between them at the moment, they were still a family and Kayla knew they would just have to hold on to that no matter what.


	181. Chapter 180

"So what are you saying?" Kim asked.

From behind his large desk, Mickey Horton shrugged. "I'm saying I don't know yet, Kim. I'll have my associate do some research." He started to say something and then hesitated. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Kim suspected she would not like the question, but she said, "yes," anyway.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Kim was baffled. "What do you mean?"

Mickey leaned forward and laced his fingers together. "I mean . . . if my Sarah was in danger, I'd want to have her under lock-and-key."

Kim did not want to hear this.

"I'll tell you something else, Kim, I would not want my child in Andrew's class." Mickey looked at her sympathetically. "And I wouldn't be satisfied if someone said, 'But there's going to be a bodyguard in there.' A bodyguard may protect Andrew - that's what he's being paid for - but bullets are not that accurate."

"You sound like Shane," Kim muttered.

"On things like this, I'd probably trust Shane's opinion over just about anyone else's in Salem." Mickey studied her. "I just don't get it. It's not like you can't afford a tutor for awhile."

"It's not the money, Mickey. It's just that I want Andrew to be a normal boy." Kim shook her head. "Security and bodyguards . . . how can that be normal?"

"You had to know when you married Shane that your life wouldn't be normal," he said.

Mickey was right. The lead-up to their wedding should have told her so. _It's not every bride who has to fake her death on the way to the church. _

She chuckled at the thought. At the time, Kim did not even realize she was the bride. Kim had been supposed to fake her death and then confront Gillian before she married Shane. That worked, and then Shane had turned the tables on her and told her they could get married that day. He had planned every thing to the finest detail.

"No," she said. "I guess I knew. It's just different when it's your son. I just don't want him to suffer."

Mickey narrowed his eyes. "You don't want him to suffer, but you would put him at risk every day? Do you think he'd be safe on the playground at Salem Elementary? Is there something else going on?" he asked.

"No. . . . I mean, what do you mean?" Kim tried to figure out where he was going with his questioning.

Mickey pursed his lips and the room stayed quiet for a minute. Kim could hear someone laughing in the hallway on the other side of the door.

"Immediately after the shooting at the school, Shane demanded that Andrew move to the house." Mickey was reading from the notes he took earlier. "And you told Shane that, if Andrew went to Shane's, you were moving in, too." Kim regretted mentioning that fact. "And Shane was going to keep Andrew 'pretty much locked up' - I believe those were your words."

"All of that's true," Kim said. "I just don't see what your point is."

"Maybe you're insisting Andrew goes to school has something to do with the amount of control Shane is suddenly exercising over your life." Mickey raised an eyebrow as he let that sink in.

Kim scoffed. "You sound like Marlena."

"Did she say that?" Mickey asked.

"No," Kim said. "It sounded like something Marlena would say - a psychiatrist - not what I'd expect from a lawyer."

Mickey chuckled. "Sometimes, we're not all that different. But I find that if I know what a client really wants, I might be able find a better resolution than a lawsuit. So, I'm asking, is this between you and the school - or between you and Shane?"

She had no way to answer the question. Kim firmly believed that Andrew deserved a happy childhood. But she also wanted Andrew to be safe. Was it possible that part of her stubbornness over the school was because she needed to have a way to assert some control over her son? "I don't know," she answered truthfully.

"Think about it," Mickey suggested. "Because if that's the issue, you won't be happy just fighting him over the school, and Andrew and the other kids in that school will be in a lot more danger."

She sat back in her chair and wondered if Mickey was right. She had known that Shane would oppose Andrew returning to school. Also, Kim had been angry when he insisted Andrew move back to the mansion and Kim had to become guest in her former house. Add to that all the arguments between them. Maybe this was a way of pushing back. She did recall how she had felt a little glee when he agreed to hire the bodyguard. At the time, she thought it was just because they agreed. Now she wasn't so sure.

Kim sighed and looked across the desk at Mickey. "So you won't take the case?"

"Kim, I never said that." Mickey looked at her carefully. "I'll take the case if you decide you want to pursue it. I'm just giving you some advice as a friend and the daughter of a young girl."

_He's right. Don't be selfish. Think of all the children you counsel. Some of them are at that school. So are Sami and Eric. They were next to Andrew the other day._

All those thoughts ran through her head. "Okay." She gave Mickey a soft smile. "You're off the hook."

Mickey grinned. "Kimberly, I would be happy to go to bat for you any time. I just want to make sure you actually want to win the game. But, seriously, think about this over the weekend. We can talk on Monday."

"I will, but I doubt there's much need." Kim stood up. The meeting was over and she knew what she was going to do. With a sigh, she turned and headed out the door, sighing as she pictured Andrew's disappointment. There was only one saving grace. _At least, Shane will be happy._


	182. Chapter 181

Saturday morning, the shooting range at the Salem PD was pretty empty. That suited Shane just fine. No distractions, at least of the external kind. Inside, Shane had too many thoughts whirring in his head.

Since his meeting with Bowers and Carly, Shane had been plagued by the images of his friends and family suffering like that pitiful creature on the television screen. He had spent the day before and most of the night once again going through every file and report they had on Alamain's facilities. They now had people inside three of the research labs, but they still had no clue where the toxin was being finalized or how Lawrence would be bringing it into the country.

_We'll find out. We'll stop Lawrence_, Shane pledged silently. _If it's the last thing I ever do, I'm going to stop Lawrence._

Those thoughts did not help right now. Shane was trying to clear his mind, not get it whirring again.

_Just shoot something_, he told himself. Some target practice would clear his mind.

He pulled out the M9 and decided to start with that pistol. Readying his grip and releasing the safety, he aimed at the target, took a half-breath, and began firing. When the magazine was empty, he studied the target. It looked good. Apparently, having his mind on other matters did not stop him from hitting the bullseye with every shot.

As Shane reloaded the gun, he thought, _What will happen if I picture the target with Lawrence Alamain's smug face?_ He smiled slightly at the mental image, aimed, and began firing. Shane reached for the button to replace the target with a fresh one. But just as he began to push, he felt a hand on his left shoulder. Shane spun around and found himself face-to-face with Roman.

"You startled me," Shane said.

Roman replied, but only his mouth moved; Shane heard nothing. Then Shane realized he was still wearing his headphones. He pulled them off.

"Sorry, partner," Roman said. "You're one of the last people I expected to see here today. Especially not so early. What are you doing here?"

Shane tried to figure out how to respond. The true reason was that he did not want to run into Kim. He had avoided her completely since Thursday night when he had fought with Steve, other than a brief exchange the night before in which she told him that she would not fight the school over Andrew. She had hinted that there was more to her decision than Mickey's advice, but Shane had reminded himself that he had to maintain the boundaries, so he had apologized that he could not talk and disappeared into the communications room for a few hours. And he had slipped away this morning before she was awake.

But that was hardly the best thing to say to Roman. "I've just been too busy," Shane lied. "This is about the only time I can get away."

"Like you need the practice," Roman said, rolling his eyes as he studied the target down-range. Most of the head was missing. "You're probably the best shot in town." He leaned against the barrier that separated the shooting lanes. "So what's really going on, Shane?"

Shane debated telling Roman about Dr. Bowers' report on the toxin, but Shane had been trying to wipe the images of the dying monkey from his mind. He had barely slept the night before as he kept picturing the image from the video and then his loved ones and friends suffering the same way. Then Shane thought about the disaster that Steve caused, but decided against raising that specifically. Instead, in a noncommittal voice, Shane said, "Let's just say it hasn't been the best week, Roman."

"I gather. The Alamain investigation?"

"Sort of. We had something of a. . . ." Shane searched for the right word. ". . . setback." _That's as good a word as any._

"Does this have anything to do with a certain fake fire-truck showing up at the Alamain mansion?" Roman gave Shane a knowing look.

"I figured Marais would have checked with the department." Shane said. Lawrence's right-hand was not stupid. He probably tried to find out from the Salem FD if they dispatched a truck in response to an alarm. "Did you cover?"

"Yeah. I'd given Chief Bishop a head's up, but you owe me, partner. I'm thinking a good bottle of scotch. Or maybe Yankees tickets."

"I suspect that's going to include airfare too." Shane laughed, but only for an instant. It felt foreign and it dawned on him that it seemed like a long time since he had laughed and things felt "normal." Probably not since the night he had come home from Iraq and he had fed quarters into the games so Andrew could win that little toy at Alice's restaurant. Since then, there had been little to laugh about.

"You okay?" Roman was looking at him closely.

Shane nodded. "Yeah . . . just thinking about something." Shane figured he should change the subject. "How about you tell me the latest with Marlena?"

"Actually, I was going to ask you about that," Roman said.

"Shoot. . . . Pun intended, of course." Shane set his gun on the rail.

"It's about Doc and trying to find out what happened to her." When they had met a few days earlier, Roman had told Shane about how he and Marlena planned on checking out the island from where she escaped.

"That's San Cristobal, right?"

"Yeah, partner." Roman frowned. "I'm not sure what else to do, but if we go down there, I don't want to go in blind."

Shane knew what Roman was getting at. "You want me to check the ISA for the latest intelligence on San Cristobal."

"Can you?"

"Sure," Shane said. "I'll check it out when I go to the field office. I'm going to be there all day." Despite it being a Saturday, he had a slew of meetings and an afternoon call with Tarrington. Somehow, Shane doubted his boss was going to forget the threat he had made the other day.

"Thanks. I-" Roman stopped. "Wait a minute. That doesn't sound right. You're spending all day on a Saturday at the field office. I know you, Shane. . . . You're not going to help things with Kimmie if you spend all your time at work."

"Who said anything about Kim?" Shane suddenly felt warm.

Roman rolled his eyes again. "You can't just avoid her, especially if she's living in your house. So what happened that you're trying to avoid her?"

"Nothing, really," Shane lied.

It was obvious that Roman did not believe that for an instant. "Come on . . . out with it."

Shane sighed. "There's not that much to tell. The other night, Steve said something to Kim that got me so mad I hauled off and decked him. Later on, when I tried to talk to Kim about it, she told me that Steve wasn't saying anything I didn't already think."

"What was it?" Roman said.

Shane paused, wondering if he should say anything, but then answered, "That Kim slept with Cal too soon after my 'death.' That's more or less the gist of it."

Roman took a step forward and started to say something but stopped. Then he took a step back. Shane could tell Roman was pissed. "Steve said that to Kimmie?"

"Not really. He said it to me. He didn't know Kim was there." Shane doubted that would mollify Roman.

Surprisingly, Roman just pursed his lips. Then he raised his eyebrow again. "And then Kim got angry at you because she thinks you're a hypocrite?"

"More or less," Shane said.

Roman eyed him for a second. "Are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shane snapped.

"I mean 'are you a hypocrite'?" Roman said. "Do you think Kim hooked up with Cal too quickly?"

"Come on, Roman. . . ."

"No. Answer my question, Shane." Roman was not taking 'no' for an answer, as he insisted, "Did Kimmie move on with Cal too soon?"

Shane looked away. "I'm not going to discuss this with you."

"You are." Roman's voice rose. "So tell me, damn it, did she move on too soon?"

"Yes! Okay? She did!"

Shane froze, realizing what he had just blurted out. A few feet away, Roman stood in stunned silence. Neither of them said a word for a long time.

"I can't change the way I feel," Shane said quietly. "Two months, Roman. It was two months. How would you have felt if you'd found out that Marlena had hooked up with another man two months after Stefano pushed you off that cliff? What would that have said about her? And about you?"

Roman stood silently for a little longer, then slowly shook his head and gave an exasperated snort. "You think she didn't love you. That's what this is all about. You think because Kim slept with Cal, she didn't love you." Roman stepped forward so he was directly in front of Shane.

Shane tried to step around Roman. "Let's not do-"

"No, we are going to do this," Roman said. "Listen to me, Shane. Kimmie was a wreck when she heard the news. She tried to hold it together for Andrew and Eve, but if not for them, she wouldn't have gotten through it. It took her weeks to even accept you were dead."

Shane had heard that all before, but it did not address the real issue. "Yeah. . . ." Shane turned away and looked down the firing range. He placed both of his hands on the rail and leaned over it. Bitterly, he said, "So it took weeks for her to accept it, and then just another week or two to get over it."

"It wasn't like that," Roman insisted.

Shane spun back around to face Roman. "Then why did she sleep with Cal? Why did she bring him into our bed?"

"Because the man's a master manipulator," Roman said. "I know. I saw what he did to Diana."

"She could have stopped it." Shane spoke softly, knowing he sounded hurt. "She could have said 'no,' Roman. She could have just said 'no.'"

Roman looked down. "Shane . . . you have to let this go, partner. Kimmie loves you more than anything in this world, and if you have any doubt about that, you're insane."

"Roman," Shane started to protest.

"No, I mean it," Roman said angrily. "Don't be an idiot."

"Who's an idiot?"

Shane had started to respond, but stopped at the sound of Abe Carver's voice. He and Roman both tried to cover. They each pointed at the other and almost, in unison, said, "He is."

Abe looked at the ceiling, then at Shane. "Can I just say that I'm glad you're the ISA's problem? I've got enough to deal with this one over here." As he finished, he motioned to Roman.

Shane just nodded. He hardly felt like chatting, and he glanced sideways at Roman who did not appear happy at the interruption.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything," Abe said. He looked at Roman. "I thought we were going to get that practice in right now before the recertification test on Monday."

"It's okay," Shane said quickly, grateful that Abe was giving him an excuse to end the discussion. "We were done."

"Shane-" Roman's voice was low.

"We're done, Roman," Shane repeated, ignoring the look of annoyance and frustration on Roman's face.

"Okay. . . ." Abe said that slowly, drawing out the word and indicating that he did not believe them. "Well, while I've got you both here, I actually would like your thoughts on something." When neither Shane nor Roman responded, Abe explained. "Steve Johnson has put in for reinstatement, and I wanted to know if you think we should do it."

Shane groaned inwardly. This was not something he wanted to get into. Thinking fast, he said, "Why are you asking me? Isn't this a Salem PD matter?"

"Yeah, but the ISA was involved in Steve's return," Abe said. For a moment, Shane was shocked that Abe knew anything about Steve's rescue. It was supposed to be a secret. He glanced at Roman, wondering if he had broken his promise, but then Abe said, "Didn't you hear anything from the agents in Cincinnati?"

_The cover story. Of course. _"Uh . . . no, not really," Shane said.

"Yeah, but you've had contact with Steve since he's been back." That came from Roman. "You've probably seen more of him than I have."

Roman was right, but Shane was still hesitant. "Look, Abe . . . Considering everything with Kayla, I'm probably not the best person to ask."

"I'm not asking for anything formal, Shane," Abe said. "I just want your impressions, since you've seen Steve since he's been back. Is it the right thing to bring him back?"

Shane turned around, so he once again faced the firing range, and thought about all of his recent conflicts with Steve. There had been the argument during Jeannie's party, Steve had been out-of-control the night he insulted Kim, he had started a brawl at the Cheating Heart earlier, and his break-in at Lawrence's hardly showed good judgment.

"Shane?" Abe was waiting for an answer. When Shane still hesitated, Abe asked, "Tell me this, at least. Would you trust Steve Johnson with your life?"

Shane felt he had to answer that. He turned back and shook his head slowly. "No."

"So tell me why?" Abe prodded.

"I just don't think he's ready," Shane said. "His head's not right, and you'd be bringing a complete loose cannon onto the force."

"Is there something specific I should know?" Abe asked.

Shane thought fast. He could not mention Egypt or England, and Steve breaking into Lawrence's was probably not a topic to raise right now, so he just stuck to the events from Thursday night. "From what Bo told me, Steve started a bar brawl at the Cheating Heart the other night." As he talked, it became easier and his reluctance to speak disappeared. "Bo said Steve acted odd and went after some guy. And later that night, he showed up at my house and was out-of-control. I just don't think he's mentally ready to be a cop again. Not yet."

Abe looked over at Roman, who shrugged. "It's your call," Roman said. "I'm probably too close because of Kayla."

_And I'm not_? Shane wondered. _Didn't I just say that_? Maybe he should have stuck to that as an excuse not to answer. _Too late now_.

Abe chewed on that for a minute. "All right. I'll think about it." He looked over at Roman. "So are we going to get this practice in or just stand around gabbing?"

Roman eyed Shane, but then nodded. "Yeah, I guess we should." As he walked away, he looked back at Shane. "We're not done, partner. Remember what I said."

They headed toward the other end of the firing range leaving Shane behind. He stood, silently, thinking about what Roman had said about Kim. He reached for his pistol and aimed at the heart of the target. _Am I being an idiot_? His first shot hit the target just left of center, outside the bullseye. He took a deep breath, trying to drive the thoughts away, but he heard Roman's voice as he fired the next shot - _"the man's a master manipulator."_ That shot struck wide. He readjusted his grip. _"Kimmie loves you more than anything in this world." _The third shot hit the target below the center.

_This is pointless_, Shane decided as he put the gun away. He had come to the firing range to clear his mind, but now his mind was racing with confused thoughts. Shane removed his earphones and set them on the rail. Who was he kidding? There was no way he would be able to clear his mind until his family was safe and the situations with Lawrence and Kim were resolved. The problem was that Shane had no clue how to do that, and he felt his family's safety and any resolutions were farther away than they had ever been.


	183. Chapter 182

Unlocking the door of the clinic, Kim flipped on the lights as she stepped inside. After the events of the previous few days, it was a relief to be back at work. Andrew was at home with Mike and the tutor, and Jeannie was spending the day with Steve, Kayla, and Stephanie.

Kim had been surprised when Steve had called the previous evening. He had apologized for what he had said that night at Shane's, and had asked if Jeannie could play with Stephanie the following day. Kim had known it was Steve's way of trying to make up for what had happened and it was good for Stephanie and Jeannie to have time together. So Kim had agreed.

Things had still been a bit awkward when she had dropped Jeannie off at Steve's and Kayla's apartment. Steve had been unusually quiet and had barely been able to meet Kim's eyes. When Kayla had taken Jeannie back into Stephanie's room, Kim figured it was time for Steve and her to clear the air.

"Look Steve," she had said. "I know you're feeling bad about what happened the other night, but it's really okay."

"Are you sure?" Steve had asked. "You didn't deserve to be dragged into the middle of everything."

"Oh . . . I don't know about that," Kim had replied. "I was the one who told you Shane wouldn't be home. I hope you know that I really didn't expect him home that early."

"I do."

"Good," Kim had said. "So let's just put this whole thing behind us. I made a mistake, you made a mistake. Luckily, we both know about second and third chances, right?"

That had caused Steve to smile and nod. By the time Kayla had returned to the room with both Stephanie and Jeannie, the tension had eased. Kim had kissed her daughter goodbye, and had left for work after wishing Steve and Kayla good luck with the two adventurous toddlers.

Kim shook herself from her thoughts and sat down at her desk. She reviewed the files that had been forwarded to her over the weekend, mostly for patients who had been admitted with suspected abuse symptoms.

This was always the hard part of the job. Kim took tremendous satisfaction from being able to help victims of domestic abuse escape the cycle of violence, but reading about each new suspected case always made her heart sink a little.

_Or a lot_. Kim took a deep breath as she saw a file with the name "Amy Thomas" on it. She immediately recalled the young woman she had been called in to see just a few days ago. Kim took a deep breath and opened the file.

Amy had been brought to the emergency room early that morning less than 48 hours after being released from the hospital. According to the report, a neighbor had called 911 after hearing loud noises coming from the apartment where Amy and her boyfriend lived. The police had arrived and had found Amy unconscious on the floor, severely beaten. The police had arrested the boyfriend and had called the ambulance.

Kim felt the tears in her eyes as she continued reading the report from the on-call social worker who had been summoned upon Amy's admission. According to the doctors, Amy had suffered severe internal injuries which had necessitated surgery and she was still unconscious. The doctors were unsure of the severity of Amy's head injuries and would not be able to fully evaluate her condition until she woke up. If she woke up.

Closing her eyes, Kim remembered the beautiful young girl she had talked to that night in the hospital. She was so young, and had clearly been so scared, but nothing Kim had said was enough to make Amy file charges against her boyfriend. The logical portion of Kim's brain said that it was not her fault, that she could not force Amy - or anybody - to take the help that was offered.

But emotions are not logical, and all Kim felt right now was guilt and failure. She sighed and read the last of the report. As she turned the page, a familiar object slid to the bottom of the file. Kim picked it up and immediately recognized one of her business cards. Her eyes returned to the report and her heart sank even further. The doctors had apparently found the card in Amy's pocket when she had arrived at the hospital.

Kim sighed and rubbed her eyes as she closed the folder. She made a note to check on Amy's progress as soon as possible. God willing, she would survive her attack and, with the boyfriend behind bars, make a new life for herself.

A knock on the door startled Kim. She took a quick glance at her schedule, but she did not have any appointments for another hour. "Come in," she called.

A young man appeared in the doorway. Kim recognized him as one of the file clerks from central administration. "Ms. Brady," he said formally. "I have a package that was delivered for you."

"Thank you . . . " Kim realized she did not know the young man's name.

"Peter," he said with a small smile.

"Thank you, Peter." Kim said, returning the smile. She got up from her desk and took the package from Peter.

"Your welcome." Peter nodded and left the room.

Kim looked at the package. The return address was a P.O. Box in Boston. Kim stared at it curiously. She did not know anybody in Boston - at least not anybody she would expect to be sending her a package. But various charities and counseling groups often sent brochures and information to her clinic, so this was probably something similar.

Walking back to her desk, Kim pulled out a letter opener to cut through the tape on the package. As she opened it, she felt a cold chill run down her spine, although she did not know why. She slowly pulled the flaps of the box out of the way and removed the crumpled newspaper resting inside.

Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the white shirt lying in the bottom of the box. As she looked closer, she could tell the shirt was filthy, with stains all around the collar and the . . . Kim stopped and stared at the label. She recognized it immediately. It was the place where Shane had his shirts made. There was no doubt in her mind that this was one of Shane's shirts. But why had it been sent to her?

Reaching in, she carefully pulled the shirt out. The breath left her body as she saw the bloodstains and the hole in the shoulder. A bullet hole, she was sure. She dropped the shirt back into the box and tried to force air into her lungs. _What was going on_? _Who would send something like this to her_?

Suddenly, she remembered the keychain she had received a couple of days ago. With all that had happened, she had never mentioned it to Shane. Now she had received another mystery package.

Kim darted for her phone. She dialed the extension for the administrative assistant in charge of her scheduling and asked her to reschedule Kim's appointments for the day. Kim did not know what was going on and why these packages were being sent. Right now, she only knew one thing. She needed to be home. She needed to be with Shane.


	184. Chapter 183

Steve walked into the living room with Kayla trailing behind him. Together, they plopped onto the couch and leaned back. After a few moments, Steve turned to look at Kayla.

"Are you as exhausted as I am?" he asked softly.

Kayla smiled. "Did those two wear you out?"

"You could say that," Steve replied. "I never realized just how much mischief two toddlers could cause." He paused. "How do you think Stephanie would feel about being an only child?"

Kayla laughed. "I thought you were the one that wanted to have a whole houseful of kids?"

Steve did not respond at first. Kayla's words took him back to the videos they had made before the accident - the ones intended to be for their friends and family while they were on their trip. He had been so certain of their happy ever after then. He had known without question that he and Kayla would have a big family and would spend their lives loving each other and their children.

He no longer felt that kind of certainty. It was not that he doubted his feelings for Kayla, or hers for him. Whatever issues they had to work through, he did not doubt the ultimate outcome. No, his doubts were only about the things outside of their home. The last year had taught both he and Kayla a hard lesson about the things they could not control. In a way, their current difficulties all stemmed from one escapable fact. Happily ever after really did only happen in fairy tales.

"Steve?"

Steve shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "Sorry, baby." He looked at her and smiled. "I still want that houseful of kids. Just not six months apart."

Kayla laughed again. "Somehow, I think we'll be okay in that department."

Steve chuckled and nodded in agreement. Then he glanced at his watch. _Damn_. He got up quickly from the couch.

"What's wrong?" Kayla asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing, baby." Steve sighed, knowing she was not going to like what he had to say. "The girls should be asleep for a little while. Do you think you can handle them alone for a couple of hours?"

"Why?" Kayla asked. "Where are you going?"

Steve hesitated, then said, "I need to go down to the station and talk to Abe. About my reinstatement."

"Today?" Kayla asked. Steve heard the edge in her voice.

"Baby, I know you don't like this. But waiting isn't going to change that, and every day that I wait is another day that Alamain has the jump on us."

Steve watched as Kayla ran a hand across her forehead and down her face. After a moment, she stood and nodded.

"Go ahead and go," she said. She spoke with no emotion. "I'll be fine with the girls."

"Sweetness-"

"It's okay, Steve. I know why you need to do this and I'm trying to accept it. That's the best I can do right now."

Steve hung his head. He hated this. But he did not know how to make things better. Sighing he looked at Kayla again. "All right. I shouldn't be gone too long."

Kayla nodded, but remained silent.

"I love you," he said softly, as he headed out the door.

From behind him, as the door closed, he heard Kayla say, "I love you too."

Within minutes, Steve was parked at the Salem PD. He entered the familiar doors and stopped for a moment, taking in the bustling activity of the police headquarters. If he was honest with himself, he was not exactly looking forward to being back on the force. He had always chafed at the rules and regulations and mountains of paperwork. It was only the fact that Roman had understood and trusted Steve that had convinced him to join the force in the first place. Steve could only hope that Roman and Abe would be equally understanding this time around.

Steve walked towards Abe's office and ran smack into a tall man with curly hair in a suit. Steve looked up angrily as the man bumbled out an apology. Steve recognized the man. He had been new to the department, joining not long before the boat accident.

"Steve? Steve Johnson?" the man said. He stuck out his hand, adding "It's good to see you again."

Steve shook the man's hand, still trying to come up with his name. "It's good to see you again too." He hoped he sounded sincere.

"Scofield?" Steve heard Abe's voice. "I thought I told you to get those files down to processing immediately." _Scofield_. Steve thought. _That's right_. _Brian Scofield. Vern's kid._

"On my way," Scofield said.

"Hey Steve," Abe said, noticing him standing there.

"Hi Abe," Steve replied. "Do you have a few minutes?"

"Uh . . . sure." Abe seemed to hesitate. "Come on into my office."

Steve followed Abe into his office, wondering why Abe seemed less than thrilled to see him.

"What can I do for you, Steve?" Abe asked, once they were inside.

"Well, I wanted to get the paperwork started for my reinstatement," Steve said. "When we talked the other day, you said I should stop by today."

"Right. . . ." Abe said. Steve watched as Abe shifted uncomfortably in his chair and seemed to look anywhere but at Steve.

"So . . . do you have the paperwork that I need to fill out?" Steve asked, trying to ignore Abe's obvious discomfort.

"I'm not sure reinstatement is such a good idea right now," Abe said. "After all, you just got back. Maybe some time to readjust to everything would be better for you."

Steve eyed Abe suspiciously. "A few days ago, you seemed pretty encouraging about the whole thing. Now you're telling me not to bother. What's really going on?"

"Nothing," Abe replied, still unwilling to meet Steve's eye. "I've just had some time to think about it and, like I said, I'm not sure this is the right time."

"Cut the crap, Abe," Steve said sharply. "You and I go way back and I've never know you to lie to me, even when you didn't like me." Steve tried to keep himself calm. "Something happened to make you change your mind."

"All right." Abe leaned back in his chair. "I talked to some people about your reinstatement and there were some reservations expressed."

"People?" Steve scoffed. "Exactly who are these 'people' you were talking to? Roman?"

"No," Abe replied calmly. "It wasn't Roman. It doesn't matter who it was." Abe looked squarely at Steve. "The point is that I trust what was said, and I think you should put the reinstatement plans on hold for now."

"What do you mean 'it doesn't matter'?" Steve said angrily. "Somebody tells you something and I'm kicked to the curb without a chance to defend myself." Steve pounded his fist on the desk. "Dammit, Abe. You can't do this to me."

"You're not helping yourself here, Steve," Abe replied. "Just go on home and we can talk about this again in a few months - if you're still interested."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me who you talked to," Steve said. His voice was low and dangerous. "I want to know who it is."

Abe looked at Steve for a long moment, then sighed. "Okay, Steve. I ran into Shane Donovan on Saturday, and he indicated that he didn't think you were ready to return to the force. He even mentioned some brawl you got into at the Cheating Heart."

Abe flinched a little as Steve's fist crashed down on the desk again. "Donovan told you that? That son-of-a-bitch," Steve swore. Then he looked down at Abe.

"Thanks for nothing, dude," Steve snarled. "I lose nine months of my life because I put my job ahead of my family and this is what I get? So much for being able to count on your friends." With that, Steve turned and stormed out of the door. It was time to have another chat with Mr. ISA.


	185. Chapter 184

Kayla sat quietly on the couch after Steve had left, trying to process her emotions. There was love, fear, anger, bitterness, and more love, all jumbled together. A part of her wanted to support Steve's decision because she knew that he was just doing what he thought he had to do to protect his family. Another part of her wanted to grab Stephanie and Steve and run away, to take that trip they had planned before and let somebody else - anybody else - deal with Lawrence Alamain.

She knew that was selfish. Lawrence was a threat to her whole family, but part of her almost did not care. All she wanted to do was put the fear and the hurt behind her, run away with her husband and daughter, and find some corner of the world where there was no Lawrence Alamain or Victor Kiriakis. Was it really so wrong to want to find some peace after all they had been through?

Kayla sighed and ran her hand down her face. She knew it was just wishful thinking. Steve would never run from the fight and, truth be told, neither would Kayla. She could have run after Steve's "death" but she had stayed in Salem and insisted on going to Alamain's country with Shane.

An ironic chuckle escaped Kayla's lips and she thought about how mad Steve would have been if he had known what she had done. He had even been angry when he had found out what had happened after he had returned.

Unbidden, another memory floated through Kayla's mind. Bo was at the Emergency Center with a gun, having every intention of killing Lawrence. Kayla had stopped him, insisting that more violence would not bring back Steve. The irony did not escape Kayla. She had saved Lawrence's life and now her husband was going to risk his life to stop Lawrence's latest plan.

The harsh ring of the phone startled Kayla. She scrambled to grab it before the sound woke the sleeping toddlers in the other room.

"Hello."

"Kayla Johnson?" the woman on the other end asked.

"Yes," Kayla replied.

"This is Shirley Abrams from the State Board of Medicine."

"Oh," Kayla said, her nerves suddenly on edge.

"I wanted to let you know that the board has rendered a decision in your case."

Kayla remained silent, willing herself to breath.

"The board has decided to reverse the suspension imposed by University Hospital and reinstate your license - effective immediately."

Kayla nearly collapsed, but tried to compose herself enough to respond. "Thank you for letting me know. This . . . this means a lot to me."

"You're welcome," Ms. Abrams replied. "You should be aware that you will be on probation for six months. However, if there are no further incidents, your record will be cleared by the board."

"Of course. Thank you again for the news"

"Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson."

"Goodbye."

Kayla hung up the phone and collapsed on the couch. She had not realized just how scared she had been about losing her license until just now. And, just like that, the fear was lifted. She had her license back. No, she had her career back, and that meant she had a part of herself back as well.

She could not wait for Steve to come home so she could tell him. She knew he would be happy for her and she vowed to try and accept the reality of his reinstatement to the police force. Maybe she could not be happy about it, but she could do her best to support him just as he had supported her throughout her suspension.

Kayla smiled when she heard a knock on the door. She was not sure why Steve would knock, but she was sure it had to be him. She pulled open the door and stopped in surprise when she saw Kim standing there.

"Kim," she said, unable to hide her disappointment.

"I guess you weren't expecting me," Kim said with a wan smile.

"I thought it was Steve," Kayla admitted as she let Kim into the apartment. "But now that you mention it, what are you doing here so early?"

"I . . . I just decided to take the rest of the day off," Kim said, avoiding Kayla's eyes. Kim looked around and asked, "Where are the girls?"

Kayla's eyes narrowed as she observed her sister. Something was definitely going on with Kim, and there was more to the story than just deciding to take an afternoon off.

"They're still napping," Kayla finally replied. "They should be up fairly soon, though."

"Oh." Kim's eyes darted around the apartment.

"Why don't you have a seat and we can visit until they wake up. I feel like we haven't really talked in forever."

"I . . . I can't. I really should just get Jeannie and be going."

"What's going on, Kim?" Kayla asked.

"Nothing," Kim quickly replied. Too quickly. It was a dead giveaway that the "nothing" was definitely something.

"Come on, Kim. This is me." Kayla stared at her sister. "I can tell something is really bothering you."

Kayla watched as Kim's eyes filled with tears and she slowly sank onto the couch.

"Kim?" Kayla's voice was filled with concern as she quickly sat next to her sister. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Kim said, hesitantly. "A few days ago, I got a strange package with Shane's keys in it. I didn't think too much of it at the time and I had forgotten all about it with . . . with everything that has been going on the last few days."

Kayla nodded, knowing exactly what her sister was referring to.

"Then today - at the clinic - I got another package." Kim took a deep breath. "It was an old shirt of Shane's. It was filthy and torn and . . ."

"And what?" Kayla prompted.

"It had bloodstains on it, and on the shoulder, I'm sure it had a bullet hole." Kim looked at Kayla, the fear clear in her eyes.

"A bullet hole?" Kayla was confused. "Are you sure it was Shane's shirt?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I recognized the label from the shop where he has them custom made."

"And the bullet hole was in his shoulder?"

Kim nodded.

"This just doesn't make any. . . ." Kayla stopped and her eyes widened in shock.

"What?" Kim asked.

"Was it white?" Kayla asked.

Kim nodded. "Why? What are you thinking of?"

"The wilderness camp that Saul Taylor was running as a cover for Alfred Jericho," Kayla replied. "After Steve found Shane in that trailer, and they escaped, Shane was shot in the shoulder."

Kim nodded slowly. "I remember you telling me about that."

The room was silent for a moment. Kayla glanced at Kim and knew they were both thinking the same thing - why would somebody have sent that shirt to Kim? Suddenly, another thought occurred to Kayla.

"You said you got a package with Shane's keys in it?"

Kim looked up. "Yes, a few days ago. It had an old key ring of Shane's on it. That's how I knew they were his."

"Steve told me that he found Shane's keys on the grounds of the wilderness camp not too long after he first got there. He said Saul took them, but that was one of Steve's first clues that there was something going on in that camp."

Kim and Kayla shared a look. "So both of the packages are related to Jericho," Kim finally said. Her hand went to her mouth as the pieces finally fit together. "Oh my god, Kayla. What if it isn't Lawrence who's trying to kill Andrew? What if it's Jericho?"

Kayla shook her head. "That can't be. Jericho was killed in that explosion."

"We thought Shane died in that explosion too, remember?" Kim said bitterly. "If he survived, why not Jericho?"

Before Kayla could respond, Kim got up and headed into the other room. She quickly returned with a half-asleep Jeannie and gathered her things.

"I have to go. I have to talk to Shane."

Kayla nodded and gave her sister a quick hug. "Call me if you get any more information, okay? And please be careful."

"I will." Kim quickly left the apartment.

Shutting the door behind Kim, Kayla returned to the couch. All this time, they had been focused on Lawrence. They had forgotten that there were always other enemies lurking. Kayla heard Stephanie's cries and got up to get her. As she headed into the other room she again wondered if there would ever be true peace for her family.


	186. Chapter 185

"That's great news," Shane told Julie Williams. She had just told him about the State Board of Medicine's decision in Kayla's case. "So Kayla can start right away - that is, if she wants to return to the lab."

"What do you mean 'if she wants to return'?" Julie asked.

Shane leaned back in his chair and looked around the empty restaurant. Wings would not open for a few hours, so Julie had asked him to stop by to discuss some potential researchers to take the new job Shane was sponsoring.

"Shane?"

"I don't know. I ran into her last week after our meeting with Neil and mentioned that we were holding the job open for her. She was . . . let's say, not very excited."

"And you think it's personal?" Julie gave him a knowing look.

"I know it is," Shane explained. "It's Steve and his stupid jealousy. She can't work at the lab, because she might actually have contact with me."

Julie smiled indulgently. "And you don't see why that might upset Steve? Shane, darling, you're far too intelligent a man to not see the problem."

"I know what Steve thinks," Shane said, hoping he did not sound as exasperated as he felt. "I just don't understand why he can't get it through his head that whatever there was between me and Kayla . . . it's over." _It was over the minute I went to Egypt_. "It's ridiculous that he's clinging to that jealousy - and even more ridiculous that Kayla's catering to it. She shouldn't have to give up a good opportunity just because she might have to talk to me." Shane stopped and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ranted like that."

"Oh, it's fine," Julie teased. "I quite enjoyed that little show. Now I can die saying that I saw Shane Donovan show real emotion. I think that probably puts me in the company of about five other people in Salem."

"If you're done insulting me-"

"Oh that wasn't an insult, darling." Julie chuckled. "You'd know when I was being insulting. Trust me."

Shane had to be amused by that. "Okay . . . Can we get back to the subject? Kayla. The lab administrator job."

"I'll talk to Kayla, Shane," Julie said. "But I'm not going to guarantee you anything. Kayla has her reasons, and I won't push her."

"Okay," Shane said. That was about as good as he was going to get from Julie. Maybe she would be able to convince Kayla not to throw away a great opportunity.

Julie put her hands together. "So now why don't we discuss something far more important than hiring a researcher."

"I can't tell you anything about Lawrence," Shane said.

"Who said anything about Lawrence?" Julie chuckled again. "I want to know how things are going at home - with you and Kimberly."

Shane grimaced. "Not you too. . . ."

"Am I piling on, poor boy?" She laced her fingers together and rested her chin on her hands. "It's only because I care. Look, I know that I wasn't in Salem when you and Kim were together, but I've done my due diligence. My grandmother said what you and Kim had was extremely special. And if there's one thing Alice Horton knows, it's how to spot true love."

"Julie," Shane looked down at the table. "This really isn't the time to go through my history with Kimberly. It's far too . . . complicated."

"Okay. . . This time, I'll respect your wishes." Julie sat back in her chair. "But I just want to see you happy, so you won't get off this easy next time." She picked up one of the folders from the table. "So back to business. . . ."

For the next 15 minutes, they reviewed CVs and discussed the merits of the potential researcher candidates. Julie preferred one from California and, frankly, Shane had no real basis to distinguish them. They all went to good schools, had good post-doctoral experience, and seemed qualified. Beyond that, Shane had no real clue.

In the back of his mind, he recalled Kayla impressing Jordan Bishop to come to Salem. Shane had done his typical approach by describing the lab, the virus project, and the salary. But Kayla had studied Jordan's articles and won him over with her knowledge of his work. She would probably have good ideas-

"Shane. . . ." Julie sounded worried.

He broke away from the memory and looked at Julie. She was staring at the restaurant entrance. Shane turned in his seat to see Steve approaching.

_What now_?

"Julie . . . Shane," Steve said as he reached the table and stopped, facing the center of the table, about equidistant from them both.

"Steve, it's nice to see you," Julie said.

"You too," Steve replied, sounding very calm. "Would you mind if I have a quick word with Shane?"

This was really not what Shane wanted to do. "Steve, we're in the middle of a meeting."

"I know, Shane, and I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's important. I ran all over town trying to find you. I just lucked out and spotted your car in the parking lot." Steve sounded like it actually was important.

"Okay." Shane looked at Julie, as he started to stand up. "I'll just be a minute."

"It won't take that long," Steve said, his voice suddenly lowering. "I'm just here to talk to Shane about a job reference."

Reacting to the sudden change in Steve's tone, Shane turned his head. He only made it halfway around before Steve's fist connected with the side of his face and sent him sprawling backward. Shane slammed into the table and crashed to the floor amidst a pile of manilla folders and paper.

Dazed and not completely sure what happened, Shane heard people shouting around him. He blinked as he tried to get his vision to clear.

"Shane, are you all right?" Julie seemed to be crouched next to him.

"Yeah," he said, still trying to shake the cobwebs out. "I'll be okay."

"That's quite enough, Steve." Julie's voice was strong and forceful as she stood up and faced Steve. Shane followed her gaze and saw that a couple of the workers were holding Steve back. He was straining against their grips, trying to break free.

"You son-of-a-bitch," Steve shouted. "You had to go talking garbage about me to Carver. You just couldn't wait to mess with my life again, could you? That was my job, Donovan. That was my-"

"And this is my restaurant, Steve!" Julie snapped. "I will not tolerate you or anyone else assaulting my guests." She looked at the employees holding onto Steve. "Help Mr. Johnson find the exit."

The two employees started to try to pull Steve away, but he shoved them away. "I don't need the help. I'm done here anyway." As he stepped back, Steve looked at Shane. "This is the last time you interfere with my life, Donovan. I'll make sure of that." With that, he turned and stomped out of the restaurant.

Julie came back over to Shane as he began to rise. One of the waitresses came over with some ice, and a couple of the other workers began trying to reassemble the file folders. Julie took his arm and helped him over to a chair.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Julie asked. She held a towel with some ice to his cheek.

Shane stared toward the front of the restaurant, in the direction that Steve had gone, and muttered, "Like Steve said. It had to do with a job reference."


	187. Chapter 186

Steve opened the door to the Cheating Heart and stepped inside the darkened bar. A quick glance around told him the place was almost empty. Not surprising for late on a Monday afternoon.

After leaving Wings, Steve had wandered aimlessly through the park and along the pier. He knew Kayla was expecting him at home, but he did not know how to face her right now. He did not know what he feared most - her inevitable disappointment in him or her happiness that he would not be rejoining the police force.

A voice in his head told him he was being unfair. Kayla had never judged him, even when he deserved it the most. And, deep down, he knew that she would be supportive and understanding even if she had not liked the idea of him going back to the Salem PD. Yet, he still could not make himself go home. So he had found himself at the Cheating Heart instead.

Maybe a beer or two would calm him down and give him some time to figure out how to explain it all to Kayla. He knew she would not be happy when she found out he had slugged Shane - no matter how much the bastard deserved it. Unbidden, another thought crossed his mind. Maybe what he was really afraid of was that Kayla would agree with Shane - and Abe.

Steve settled into a barstool with a beer and a shot. He had had to promise Jimmy that he would not cause any more trouble before Jimmy would serve him. _Great_, Steve thought to himself. _Even the bartender is wondering if I'm crazy or not._

He downed the shot, chased it with his beer, and ordered another round. As he watched Jimmy pour the drinks, Steve's thoughts drifted back to Kayla. In a million years, he would never understand what he had done to deserve her love.

As he looked around the dark and dingy bar, Steve thought about how much of their early relationship had played out in this very spot. He would never forget how Kayla had walked into the Heart and challenged him to a game of pool, so intent on proving that their worlds were not as far apart as he thought. Everything in him had told him to run away - to not let her into his heart. But his fears were ultimately no match for Kayla's determination.

Steve finished off the second shot and felt his body finally begin to relax as the alcohol did its job. He ordered a third round, ignoring the concerned look that Jimmy gave him. When the drinks were put in front of him, he stood up and moved to a booth in the back.

As he sat down, another memory hit him. It was Kayla, tears in her eyes, slapping him after seeing him kiss the waitress. Funny, Steve thought, he couldn't even remember the woman's name. She had been friendly enough and had not seemed to mind him using her to convince Kayla he no longer loved her. But he could no longer remember her name, or even her face. All he could see in his mind was the look of hurt and betrayal on Kayla's face.

Steve downed the third shot, trying to drive that memory away. He had hurt Kayla so badly, all because he thought he had the right to play God with her life and with Jack's life. And still she had forgiven him. Looking back, he had really never even considered the idea that she might not. In some ways, it had always been that way. He would screw up and Kayla would forgive him. Marina, Jack, his work for Victor, his past in general. No matter what it was, Kayla had always forgiven him. As he finished off his beer, Steve could not help but wonder when Kayla would finally grow tired of it.

God knows, he was tired of it himself.

Time passed and Steve had several more rounds. At some point, he ate some dinner that Jimmy forced upon him under threat of being cut off. Several times, Steve decided to get up and find his way home. Each time, fear had stopped him.

Steve did not know how long he had been sitting in that booth when, through blurry eyes, he saw Jack walk in the door.

"Jackson!" Steve slurred as Jack approached his table. "What are you doing in this fine establishment? Slumming?"

"No," Jack replied, carefully studying Steve before sitting down. "I was actually looking for you."

"Well you found me, didn't you?" Steve signaled for the waitress. "What are you drinking?"

"It looks like you've had enough for both of us." Jack eyed the empty shot glasses piled on the table.

"Well, Billy Jack, you can either join me in a drink or you can leave." Steve's tone left no room for argument.

Jack nodded and ordered his drink as Steve ordered yet another round. "So why were you looking for me?" Steve asked, once the waitress left.

"Um . . . actually . . . Kayla called me." Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"What?" Steve asked, starting to rise. "Is she okay? Is something wrong?"

"She's fine, Steve," Jack said quickly. "From what I can tell, the bartender called her and said you might need some help getting home."

"And she called you?" Steve could not help but be surprised about that.

"Yeah." Jack shrugged. "It surprised me too."

They sat in silence for a moment as the waitress returned with their drinks. Jack sipped his as Steve downed yet another shot.

"So. . . ." Jack's voice was hesitant and unsure. "Do you want to tell me why you're here, drowning your sorrows - if that's what they are - instead of at home with Kayla and Stephanie?"

Steve stiffened, as he always did when Jack mentioned Kayla. Then he felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he realized it could not have been easy for Kayla to call Jack. He hung his head - just one more way he had let Kayla down.

"Steve?" Jack prompted.

Steve eyed Jack. "Are you looking for a story or what?"

"No, I'm not looking for a story," Jack protested. He hesitated again, then said. "I know that our . . . relationship has hardly been typical, but before you . . . um . . . before the accident, we were getting closer - almost like brothers." He looked down at his drink. "I just thought maybe it would help if you talked about it-"

"To my brother?" Steve asked, interrupting Jack.

"Yeah, I guess." Jack shrugged. "Couldn't hurt, right?"

"Okay, Jackson." Steve drained his beer and signaled for another round. "Long story shirt . . . er short. I went to see Abe Carver about getting back on the Salem PD. But I found out that 'Double-0-Donovan' had already talked to Carver. Apparently, Mr. ISA's opinion that I'm 'not ready' to be a cop again is the only thing that matters. I guess nearly getting killed on duty doesn't count for anything."

"Why would Shane do that?" Jack asked quietly.

"Why the hell does Donovan do anything?" Steve spat bitterly. "Why bring me home if all he was going to do is mess with my life?"

Jack was silent as the waitress brought the drinks. Steve downed yet another shot and tried to focus on Jack's face. Unfortunately, there were currently three of them and he was not sure which was the right one.

"So it was Shane who found you." Jack's words were a statement not a question. "I knew that Cincinnati story sounded phony."

Steve cringed when he realized what he had said. Some small sober part of his brain told him to stop now, to get up, and tell Jack to take him home. But the rest of him did not care. _Why should I keep Donovan's stupid secret_?Besides, Shane or Kayla must have told Roman, since he had sent Kayla the wedding rings to England. _So why can't I tell Jack_?

"Yeah, Shane found me," Steve slurred drunkenly. "Or so he says." He again tried to focus on Jack, but everything was growing more and more blurry. He saw Jack take something from his pocket but could not focus on what it was. Before he could ask, Jack signaled for another round to be brought to the table.

"So, uh, what really happened then," Jack asked as he pushed the shot glass towards Steve. "It must be one hell of a tale."

Steve downed the shot, feeling the room start to spin a bit. "All right, Jack. I'll tell you what happened. Just remember you can't tell anybody."

"Sure," Jack said, downing his drink. "It'll be just between you and me."


	188. Chapter 187

Kim was pacing around the library. _Where is he_? She had left repeated messages at the ISA field office, but Shane had been out of the office. Kim had tried his car phone, but he had not answered. Now it was well past dark, and Kim was beginning to grow worried.

She glanced at the desk, where she had placed the box containing Shane's ruined shirt. It still made her shudder. _Could it really be Jericho_? _Could he really be out there and coming after us_?

"Ms. Brady?" Kim looked at the door and saw Mike standing there.

"Mike. . . ." Kim wondered what he wanted. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Mike shook his head. "No, ma'am. I just wanted to let you know that Andrew is upstairs playing and I'm going to do my evening check of the perimeter."

Kim nodded, though she knew it was rather unnecessary for Mike to inspect the grounds. The ISA still had their units in front of the house and on the lakeside. Of course, that hardly made Kim feel safe given her receipt of the packages at both the house and at the hospital.

Then something dawned on her. The first package, with the keys, had arrived just a few days after Kim moved into the house. That meant whoever was sending the packages knew her movements and was probably watching them.

"Be careful, Mike," Kim said, as a chill ran through her. He have her a funny look, but said nothing as he left the room.

Once Kim was alone, she tried to think. _Shane's gun_. He had always kept one in his desk. In the back of her mind, she reminded herself that was where she found it the night she shot Shane by accident. She rushed to the other side of the desk and opened the center drawer to get the key for the locked drawer where the gun was kept. She just wanted to know it was still there. _Just in case._

In an instant, she forgot about the gun. Without thinking, her hand slid from the key to the small brown box she spotted inside the drawer. _A jewelry box. Why would Shane have a jewelry box in his desk_? She felt a stab of jealousy, realizing that it probably was something Shane had purchased for Kayla.

Still, Kim had to know. Her curiosity got the better of her, so Kim lifted the box out of the drawer and opened it.

Her free hand flew to her mouth as she let out a small gasp. She had not seen the cameo in more than a year, not since the day she had placed it in an envelope and asked Dr. Norris to deliver it to Shane. Carefully, she picked the broach from the box.

A flood of memories filled her head. The cameo had been such an important symbol of their love. She remembered Shane showing it to her for the first time after they made love at Donovan Manor. Then she thought about all the times she had worn it during their marriage. Even during the bad times, the cameo had been a comfort. It had always helped her feel connected to Shane.

Kim's mind flashed to the time when Shane was missing, held captive by Jericho. She remembered her having a vision of Shane, and he told her to hang onto the cameo, that as long as she held onto it, she would not lose him.

_Ironic, isn't it_? Only a few months later, she did lose Shane, and even now, they seemed as far apart as ever.

Kim traced the white figure with her index finger and thought about the story Shane had told her about the cameo and its matching bracelet. It actually was no wonder that Kim dreamed that the cameo would hold them together. Shane had told her how his mother had worn the broach every day his father was gone during World War II, while his father carried the bracelet through several major battles. What had Shane said his mother told him about the cameo? How when he gave it to the woman he truly loved, their hearts would be connected and nothing could keep them apart.

_Except stubborn pride, a few lies, and walls so thick they made the Great Wall of China look like a picket fence._

It was fitting, actually, that she and Shane seemed immune to the cameo's magic. They were never the fairytale, happily-ever-after type of couple. They had seen too much in their lives before they came together.

_Too much baggage._

With a sigh, Kim set the cameo back in the box. She closed the box and placed it back in the desk drawer. It was odd that Shane did not keep the cameo in the safe. Something so important and so special to him . . . it was not like Shane to leave something like that unlocked.

"Kim!"

She jerked her head up to see Shane in the library doorway.

"What are you doing in there?" Shane demanded, as he stormed across the room. "That's my desk."

Kim was so shocked by the harshness of his tone that she jerked away from the open drawer. It took her a moment to remember why she had looked inside. "I'm . . . I'm sorry . . . I was just looking for the key to the locked drawer."

Shane's expression turned from angry to confused. "What in bloody hell would you want the key for?"

"To get your gun." Kim spoke hesitantly. "Because . . ." She looked down at the box on top of the desk, the box with Shane's old shirt. "Because of this."

Shane grabbed the box and opened it. He looked inside, still appearing puzzled, reached inside, and lifted out the shirt. Kim could see his chest stop mid-breath and his entire body seemed to freeze. For the first time, she noticed a bruise on the side of his face, but she decided this was not the time to ask about it. Shane was far too focused on the shirt. He stared silently at it for a long time, before he finally managed to find some words.

"Where . . . where did you get this?"

"It was delivered to the hospital this morning," Kim said. "I tried to call you."

Shane went into investigator mode. "Did anyone but you touch the box?" he asked. "What about the shirt?"

"Only me - and one of the file clerks, Peter. He brought it in. Nobody's touched the shirt."

Shane dropped the shirt like it was cursed. It landed on the edge of the cardboard and flopped over the side. Shane stepped back, shaking his head in complete disbelief.

Kim stepped around the desk. Softly, she asked, "That's the shirt you were wearing when Jericho had you?"

"Yes. . . ." Shane's voice was barely audible.

"That's not it," Kim said. When Shane looked at her, she reached into her pocket, pulled out the old key chain, and held it up for him. "This came to the house the other day. It was in a box from New York. That's all I remember."

Shane reached out slowly and took the keys. It was rare that she ever saw Shane so completely shocked, but his confusion was plain as he studied the keys and turned them over in his hand.

"Freddy - I mean Jericho - had these . . . in the trailer where he was keeping me. He showed them to me, because they had been found on the grounds."

"Steve found them and gave them to Saul Taylor," Kim said. "That's what Kayla told me."

Shane began to pace. Kim could almost see his mind working to put the pieces together. "It doesn't make sense," he muttered.

"What doesn't make sense?" Kim needed answers. "Shane, could Jericho still be alive? Could he be behind the attacks on Andrew, not Lawrence?"

Shane stopped pacing and ran the hand not holding the keys through his hair. "I don't know . . . Jericho supposedly died in the explosion-"

"But so did you," Kim pointed out.

Shane nodded. "I know . . . But the thing is . . . This shirt . . . I was wearing it when I fought Jericho on that mountain, but when I woke up down-river, I was in different clothes."

"So the shirt was lost on the mountain at the same time as the explosion?" Kim asked.

"No, you don't understand," Shane said. "One of the locals found this shirt. He brought it to the diner to show Irwin." He looked up at her. "I didn't know who I was. I didn't know my name or anything about my life, but I remembered that shirt being important. It was nothing more than a rag by that time, but I took it and kept it."

Now Kim was getting confused. "But if you kept it, how did it wind up here?"

"When we left Irwin's, it was in a hurry. Arthur Downey had tried to kill me, and Rebecca shot him." Shane seemed to chew his lip as he searched his memory. "I was hurt and had Rebecca get most of our things. We left the shirt there."

"So what does that mean?" Kim asked.

"It means that if Jericho got the shirt, he would have had to be around Irwin's at the time." Shane set down the keys and began to pace again. "But that can't be. . . ." He stopped suddenly. "Wait a minute."

Kim leaned forward. "What?"

"Simon . . . Simon Prescott came to the diner. He tried to shoot me there."

Kim remembered Simon. He was the ISA agent who had worked with Jericho and Cal. Simon had lied to her about Shane, telling her he was dead weeks before the explosion. But Simon was dead. Kim had witnessed Cal shoot Simon when he kidnapped her.

She also remembered the diner. She had stayed there. _Cal followed me there._ She tried to shake that thought and focus on Simon Prescott.

"If he knew about the diner, Simon could have been there before. He could have found the shirt," Shane said. "And if Jericho still had the keys. . . ."

Kim thought for a minute as Shane's voice trailed off. She knew he was still trying to puzzle through how Jericho could have survived the explosion. Kim had an idea. "Simon was in charge of the search at the camp. If he-"

"If he found Jericho. . . ." Shane crossed his arms and ran a hand over his face.

Kim could tell they were both thinking the same thing. _If Simon found Jericho, did he also find Shane_? _Did he just leave Shane to die_? _Or did Simon have Shane captive for awhile before dumping him in the wilderness with amnesia_?

If that had happened, Simon - or maybe the entire ISA - knew where Shane was the whole time he had amnesia. Everything that happened in those months that Kim had grieved and had then fallen prey to Cal's manipulations. None of it had to have happened.

"It can't be," Shane said, as if reading her thoughts. "Simon couldn't have gotten Jericho out of there without someone else in the ISA knowing. This could all be one of Lawrence's games."

"But how would Lawrence have known about the keys and the shirt?" Kim pointed out. "That all happened more than a year before Lawrence ever came to Salem."

Shane responded with a harsh snap. "I don't know, Kim. None of this makes any bloody sense."

Kim thought further. "Cal was in the helicopter that night. He and Simon could have taken Jericho right after the explosion." She did not mention that they could have taken Shane also. It was the only logical explanation. But that meant Cal would have known the truth. Even as he had comforted the grieving widow, he would have known that Shane was alive.

The thought made her skin crawl. Cal had used her and manipulated her in so many ways. This was just one more.

"We don't know that." Shane began to pace again. "It could be something more simple. Like Simon found the keys during the search. Or Jericho gave them to him before anything happened on that cliff." Shane sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"It has to be Jericho," Kim said. "Simon's dead and Cal's in prison. Who else could have these things and use them against us?" She looked at the dirty shirt that had fallen half-in and half-out of the box; the dark bloodstains were still visible. The threat was so clear. "What are we going to do, Shane?"

Shane looked at her, the confusion gone. With a determined expression, he stepped back over to the desk and, with the side of his hand, brushed the shirt so if fell back inside the box. Then he picked it up by the corners, touching it as little as he could.

"I'm taking this to the lab and then I'm going to talk to Roman," Shane said. "I'll make the lab work overtime. . . . I don't care what it takes, but we're going to find out who sent this. If it's Jericho, we'll track him down. If not, and this is someone's idea of a sick joke, I'll make sure they find out exactly what I think of their sense of humor." He looked Kim in the eye. "Nobody's going to hurt you or the children, Kim. I'm going to make sure of that."

For the first time since she had seen the shirt, Kim felt a sense of relief replace the dread and fear that had consumed her. She took strength in Shane's determination and confidence. If he said he was going to keep them safe, he would. That was one thing about Shane that she never doubted.

She smiled softly as he walked out of the library and said, "I know you will, Shane." _I do trust you._


	189. Chapter 188

Steve felt the familiar pounding in his head. His mouth was dry and his stomach was churning. In that moment, Steve knew it had all been a dream. He hadn't been rescued from the hellhole. He hadn't been reunited with his wife and daughter. It had all been just another dream induced by whatever poison they had forced down this throat.

Steve kept his eye shut tight, wanting to hold on to the dream as long as possible. He knew, once he opened his eyes, he would see nothing but the dingy walls that had faced him for longer than he cared to remember.

And then he heard it. Her voice. That was impossible . . . unless it wasn't all a dream.

Steve carefully opened his eye, trying to ignore the stabbing pain he felt when the light entered. He turned his head slightly, waited for the room to stop spinning, and focused on the direction her voice was coming from. She was there and so was Stephanie. And so was Caroline.

"Thanks for coming to pick Stephanie up," Kayla said softly.

"It's no problem, dear." Steve quickly shut his eye as Caroline looked in his direction. "I just hope Steve feels better soon."

"I'm sure he will." Steve recognized the tone of Kayla's voice and knew she was not happy with him.

Steve opened his eye again and watched as Kayla kissed Stephanie goodbye. He tried to sit up and say something, but his body did not seem to want to cooperate at the moment. He watched as Kayla closed the door, turned, and walked towards him.

"Steve? Are you awake?"

It took him a moment but Steve finally pried his tongue off the roof of his mouth and spoke. "I'm not sure," he said honestly. "Are you really here?"

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise at his response. After a few seconds, Kayla reached out and took his hand. "Yes, I'm really here. Can you feel me holding your hand?"

Steve could not help but smile as relief washed over him. It wasn't just a dream. He really was home. But then why did he feel so horrible?

"What happened?" he asked Kayla. He raised his head and looked around, realizing for the first time that he was lying on the couch in the living room of their apartment. "Why am I out here?"

"You don't remember?" Kayla's voice was anything but sympathetic.

_Remember what_? Steve thought to himself. He slowly struggled into a semi-upright position and ran his hand over his face, waiting for the pounding and nausea to ease. As he sat there staring into the face of his clearly displeased wife, he tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Then he remembered. He had gone to see Abe Carver and had been told he was unfit for police duty. Then he had tracked down Donovan. Steve looked down and saw the bruises on his knuckles. _I guess that wasn't a dream either._

Steve dropped his head into his hands. "I guess I tied one on pretty good last night."

"Yeah I guess you did." Kayla's tone was chilly.

"I remember being at the Heart," Steve said, still trying to process everything. "But how did I get home?"

Kayla sighed and sat down in the chair beside the couch. "Jimmy called me and said you were drinking pretty heavily and might need a ride home. I called Bo, but he wasn't home. Marcus was on duty at the hospital, and I didn't think Roman was the best choice."

Steve gave a slight nod. Having the police commander come pick him up from the bar after being rejected for reinstatement would probably not have been a good thing. "So what did you do?"

"I called Jack." Kayla shrugged. "He is your brother and, since you were obviously upset enough to go the bar and start drinking, I thought you might need somebody to talk to. Even if it was Jack."

Steve flinched at the bitterness in Kayla's voice. "So Jack brought me home?"

"Eventually," Kayla replied. "He showed up a few hours after I called him. He and his driver brought you in and put you on the couch."

Steve was silent. He had no memory of even seeing Jack the night before, did he? He searched his brain, as much as it was willing to be searched at the moment. He had a vague recollection of Jack sitting at a table at the Heart, but it was unconnected to any other memory.

Kayla got up and walked into the kitchen. A few moments later she returned with a glass of water and a couple of Tylenol.

"Here," she said, her voice still cold. "Take these."

Steve did as he was told and then set the glass on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, baby." Steve cringed at the inadequacy of his own words. "I know those are only words, but I really am sorry."

"I know," Kayla said. She sounded tired. "Do you think you could eat something? I can make you some toast."

"Don't, Kayla." Steve voice was sharp. "I don't want you to make me toast. I know you're mad at me . . . and God knows I deserve it, so just be honest about it."

Kayla sat down again and looked at him. "I'm not mad, Steve. I'm hurt and I'm confused and mostly I'm just scared."

"Scared?" Steve said, confused.

"Scared for us," Kayla replied as tears filled her eyes. "Your meeting with Abe obviously went badly. But instead of coming home and talking to me about it, you decided to go to a bar and get drunk. What does that say about our relationship? You couldn't even call me and tell me."

"That's not true, Kayla," Steve protested. "I . . ." He stopped, unsure of how to explain.

"You what?" Kayla snapped. "If this has nothing to do with us, then why didn't you come home? Why didn't you at least call me? Why did I have to find where you were from the bartender?"

"Because I was ashamed." Steve nearly choked on the words. He saw Kayla's eyes widen in surprise. "Sweetness, when we got married, I promised you and myself that I would take care of you and our family." Steve stood unsteadily. "Look at me, Kayla. I couldn't even get that lousy warehouse job and then Abe. . . ." He stopped, trying to control himself.

"What happened with Abe?" Kayla asked gently.

Steve rolled his eye. "Apparently he talked to Donovan and, after that little talk, Abe decided I wasn't ready to return to the force yet." Steve sank back onto the couch. "He thinks I'm crazy, Kayla."

"Abe said that?" Kayla sounded shocked.

"Not in so many words," Steve replied bitterly. "But it's clearly what he was thinking - what Mr. ISA told him."

"I'm sorry," Kayla said softly.

"Are you?" Steve's voice was quiet and sincere. "We both know you didn't want to go back on the force."

Kayla looked surprised, then sighed. "I guess I can't blame you for asking that question, but yes, I'm sorry. I won't pretend that I was happy about your decision, but I didn't want something like this to happen." She paused. "And I'm very sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't turn to me when it did."

"Don't apologize." Steve shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong, baby. I did. I didn't go to the bar because I didn't think you would understand. I went to the bar because I knew you would."

"What?" Kayla said, clearly confused.

Steve sighed. He wished he could get up and pace around, but he was not sure his body was ready for that. "From the very beginning, you've always understood, Kayla. You've always forgiven me, even when I didn't come close to deserving it." He stopped and drew a shaky breath. "And I'm scared to death that, one of these days, you are going to realize that you shouldn't have to be so understanding and forgiving - that you deserve better than that."

"Steve-"

"No, baby," Steve said, cutting her off. "Don't deny it. Just look at how I've been since I got back. I've been an ass, Sweetness. And I've taken it for granted that you'll just understand and forgive me for it - every time." Steve forced himself to stand again and walked over to Kayla. He saw a tear fall down her cheek and he silently wiped it away.

"I don't want you to apologize to me, Kayla. Not for what happened while I was gone and not for being honest with me about how you felt about my rejoining the force." Steve gingerly knelt down beside Kayla's chair. "I wish I could promise that I will stop having to apologize to you, but I can't. But I can promise to try and be better and I can promise to never take your love for granted again."

Kayla gently ran her hand down Steve's face. "How about we both promise to try and be better?" she said tenderly. "We're a team, after all. So let's work on this together."

Steve nodded, unable to speak. He took her hand and gently kissed the palm. He gave a soft smile and said, "I guess we can work on this since neither one of us is working."

Kayla returned the smile. "Actually, that's not quite true."

"What do you mean, Sweetness?"

"I heard from the state board yesterday." Kayla's smile grew. "I've been officially reinstated."

Steve smiled broadly. "That's great, baby." Then his smiled faded and he hung his head. "God, I really am an ass. I should have been here to celebrate with you."

"I think you did enough 'celebrating' for the both of us last night," Kayla teased. More seriously, she added, "I wish you would have been here, but what's done is done. Let's put that behind us and move forward, okay?"

Steve nodded. "So when do you go back to work?"

Kayla hesitated. "Umm . . . I'm not really sure. I need to go down to the hospital and fill out some paperwork tomorrow and then talk to Neil. I'll have more details then."

"You won't be the only one in the family working for long," Steve said earnestly. "I'm going to find a job soon, I promise."

"I know," Kayla said simply. "I believe that."

Steve smiled, knowing that she would never understand what those words meant to him. She believed him. No, even better, she believed in him. Standing he glanced down at his dirty, wrinkled and smelly clothes. "How about I get cleaned up and then we can go pick up Stephanie and spend the day together?"

"That sounds great," Kayla replied. "But I don't think my mom is expecting us until this afternoon. After all, you're supposed to have the flu."

"We'll just tell her that your love cured me." Steve leaned down and kissed Kayla on the cheek and headed for their bedroom. He passed at the entrance to the hall, turned back, and looked at Kayla. "After all it's the truth."


	190. Chapter 189

Kayla sighed with relief as she signed the last of the forms necessary for her official reinstatement to the hospital. It seemed impossible that simply being allowed to return to work would require so many forms, but there were insurance forms, security forms, confidentiality forms, and forms she thought were just to keep the human resources people busy filing. So she had settled down at the table in the staff lounge and worked her way through all of them. The paperwork was now done, and she would be able to return to work on Monday - finally.

The only real question was where she would be working. She knew she could return to the lab administrator's position. Not only had Shane mentioned it at the airport, but Neil had mentioned it when she had stopped by his office to pick up the paperwork. As with Shane, she had been noncommittal, promising to stop by and talk in more detail about her schedule after the paperwork was finished.

Kayla had so many mixed feelings about returning to the lab. She was proud of the work she had done to get the lab up and running and there was an immense satisfaction to see how successful it had become. But the lab was also tied strongly to Shane and to the period after she lost Steve. Even without the ongoing conflict between Shane and Steve, Kayla had mixed feelings about returning to a job tied so closely to a period of her life that was often very painful.

And there was the ongoing conflict between Shane and Steve - one that seemed to spill into every interaction between the two. Steve had told her about finding, and slugging, Shane at Wings after being rejected for reinstatement. It seemed every time the two of them were in the same room, they came to blows. She could not see how that was going to get better if there was a constant possibility of Steve finding her together with Shane at the lab.

"Kayla, darling, how wonderful to find you here." Julie Williams' voice filled the room as she made her usual, energetic entrance into the room.

"Hello, Julie." Kayla smiled at the older woman. In the previous year, she had gotten to know Julie quite well and had grown very fond of her. "What brings you to University Hospital today?"

"Truthfully, I was looking for you." Julie smiled broadly and took a seat at the table. "Neil told me you were probably in here filling out all kinds of paperwork for your reinstatement. Congratulations on that, by the way."

"Thanks," Kayla replied. "And Neil was right - I just finished the last of the paperwork. I think filling out the paperwork took longer than my suspension." Now that it was over, it was easier to joke about.

"Good. Since you've finished your paperwork, it's a perfect time for us to talk." Julie got straight to the point as usual.

"All right." Kayla had a hunch what this was about, but waited for Julie to continue.

"I'll get straight to the point," Julie said with a smile. "Shane told me that you have some reservations about returning to the lab administrator's position. I would like to know what it will take to remove those reservations."

Kayla could not help but smile. Julie always made everything sound so easy. "I don't think it's quite that simple, Julie."

"Of course it is, darling," Julie replied, undeterred. "You tell me what your reservations are - and I'll fix them. It's exactly that simple."

Kayla sighed. She wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation with Julie, but she also knew that there was no way to avoid it now. "Okay," Kayla hesitated as she tried to come up with the best way to approach the issue. "First, as much as I've enjoyed working at the lab, I miss traditional nursing. I got into nursing because I wanted to treat patients."

"That's understandable." Julie said. "You're one of the best nurses in this hospital." Julie was silent for a moment, then smiled. "What if we arrange the schedule so that you can work one day a week in the Trauma Center when it opens? In the meantime, I'm sure Neil would be perfectly happy for you to work a shift or two each week in the hospital."

Kayla thought for a moment. Putting the lab together and getting it up and running had been more than a full-time job, but even before her suspension, she had been spending more and more time assisting with the research and less time dealing with actual administrative work. There really was no reason why she couldn't spend one day a week in the Trauma Center or hospital.

"I guess that could work," Kayla finally responded. "Assuming the Trauma Center is agreeable to that kind of schedule."

"Leave that to me," Julie said confidently. "I'm quite sure they will be thrilled to have you working there." She gave Kayla a look. "What else?"

Kayla knew there was no way to avoid the real issue now. Still she hesitated. As much as she liked and respected Julie, Kayla still was not comfortable discussing Steve and Shane with her.

"Kayla, dear." Julie's voice was full of compassion. "If you're trying to figure out how to tell me that you are not comfortable working at the lab because it would require you to work with Shane on a regular basis, don't worry." She gave a small smile. "I already know. I was with Shane when your husband paid him a visit at Wings a couple of days ago."

Kayla cringed slightly. "I'm sorry that Steve attacked Shane in your restaurant. He shouldn't have done that." _No matter how good of a reason he had to be angry_.

"No, he probably shouldn't have," Julie replied. "But that has nothing to do with you, so you shouldn't be apologizing for it."

Kayla couldn't help but scoff slightly. "I wouldn't say it had nothing to do with me. Steve and Shane wouldn't be at each other's throats like they are if it weren't for me."

Julie looked closely at Kayla. "Let me give you a little advice. . . . Regrets are a waste of time and energy. We'd all love to go back in time and make different decisions sometimes, but we can't. So focus on what's in front of you, not behind you."

Kayla nodded, wishing it were only that easy. "What's in front of me right now is the fact that I can't let a job, even the lab administrator's job, come between me and Steve. And the truth is that I just don't know how he would handle me working so closely with Shane again."

"What if you didn't have to report directly to Shane?" Julie asked. "I'm a substantial investor in the lab and I'm sure we could work things out so that most of your interaction was with me and not Shane."

Before Kayla could respond, the door to the lounge opened and Steve walked in. "Hi, Sweetness," he said with a smile. The smile faded slightly as he saw Julie. "Hi, Julie. . . . I didn't realize you were here too. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting. I can wait outside."

"Nonsense, Steve," Julie said as she stood up. "Kayla and I were just trying to work out some details regarding her possible return to the lab." She turned and looked at Kayla. "Think about what I said. If you decide to return, I'll take care of all the other details."

Kayla nodded. "Thanks, Julie."

"You're welcome, darling." Julie turned back to Steve. "Steven, it's always a pleasure."

Steve smiled weakly. "It's good to see you too, Julie. I'm . . . uh . . . I'm sorry about the other day."

"It's already forgotten," Julie replied with a wave of her hand. "You two have a nice day."

After Julie left the room, Steve walked over to Kayla. He kissed her cheek and then sat in the chair next to her. "So why is Julie acting like there's some question about you returning to work at the lab?"

Kayla was surprise by Steve's question at first, but then she realized that, since he was not around when the lab had been built, he did not realize how involved Shane had been. "Because I'm not sure that going back to the lab is a good idea right now," Kayla said, deciding to be as open and honest as she could.

"Why not, baby?" Steve asked. "You said you put a lot of time and energy into getting the lab established. Why would you leave now?"

"Because Shane's the primary investor in the lab." Kayla watched Steve carefully for his reaction. "He and I worked pretty closely together when the lab was built, and going back might mean that we have to work together again."

"And you think that will upset me, right? That's why you aren't sure about going back?" Steve's voice was calm.

Kayla nodded. "I know how you feel about Shane right now, Steve. You can't tell me it won't upset you if you drop by and find Shane and me together."

Steve took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. "I guess I can't blame you for thinking that way, Sweetness. I sure haven't given you any reason to think anything else."

"Are you trying to tell me it wouldn't bother you?" Kayla couldn't hide the doubt in her voice.

Steve shook his head. "No, baby. I can't lie about that. It would bother me. But that's something I need to learn to deal with. Whatever I think of Mr. ISA right now, I trust you." Steve leaned forward and ran his hand down Kayla's cheek. "The last thing I want to do is stand in the way of you going back to a job that you love."

Kayla felt a momentary twinge of guilt. She had not been nearly as supportive of Steve's decision to return to the police force. "Thank you," she said with a small smile. "Your support means a lot to me. I . . . I wish I could have been as supportive of you when you wanted to go back to the PD."

"It's okay, baby," Steve replied. "I understood how you felt and you did support me by letting me do what I needed to do. Now I'm going to do the same thing for you. If you decide to go back to the lab, I'll understand and I'll figure out how to deal with Donovan." He looked into her eyes. "I promise I won't do anything to embarrass you or cause trouble for you at work."

"I know you'd never do that," Kayla said quickly. "I was never worried about that."

"Good," Steve said. "It's settled then. So why don't we get out of here and I can buy you lunch?"

"That sounds great." Kayla stood and then leaned down and kissed Steve tenderly. When she pulled away she said, "Wait here for a minute and I'll be right back."

"You can't kiss me like that and just leave, Sweetness," Steve protested. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take this stack of paperwork back to Neil and let him know I'll be back at the lab on Monday." Kayla gave Steve a knowing look. "And I think lunch should be takeout. I think we've got some things to take care of at home."

"Oh, baby," Steve said as he stood. "I love the way you think."

"I thought you might." Kayla kissed Steve again, grabbed the stack of forms, and dashed for the door before they started something they couldn't finish. She giggled as she heard Steve give a little groan when she walked out the door. Maybe, just maybe, things were finally starting get back to normal.


	191. Chapter 190

Reviewing the last of Simon Prescott's files revealed nothing. From the night of the explosion at the bible camp, every remaining day of Prescott's life was accounted for and nothing suggested he had any illicit activities on the side. Even the trip to the mountains, where Simon had shot at Shane, was documented as a hunt for "the elusive fugitive, Drew Donovan."

Shane did not believe that Simon thought he was shooting at Drew, but it was clear the man covered his tracks to explain his whereabouts. The records did not leave a lot of room for meetings with Jericho, assuming he had survived the explosion. Nor was there anything to indicate that Simon had been to the diner before or after he shot at Shane. And Simon had driven off immediately after missing the shot. That would have given him no time to have found the shirt.

Looking back through the files, Shane was beginning to wonder if this was somebody's idea of a sick joke - an attempt to distract him from the real threat out there, Lawrence Alamain. But Shane just could not figure out how Lawrence might factor into this. Kim was right. Lawrence did not even arrive in Salem until long after Jericho and Simon died, and Cal was arrested.

That left only one person who might have the answers.

Shane stood up and ran a hand over his face. He shut the last file and opened the door from the communications room to his study.

For the past few days, Shane had debated catching a flight to Nome. Cal would know what happened on that mountain that night. He would know if Jericho survived.

But as much as Cal might have answers, Shane knew he could not ask for them. Cal would never volunteer information about Jericho, and Shane had only one bargaining chip - one he could never use.

That was time. Shane could offer Cal a reduction in his sentence, but that would only shorten the time before Cal could return to Salem and make Kim's life a living hell. He had threatened to seek custody of Jeannie before; that had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back and sent Kim fleeing from Salem. She had been unwilling to trust that Shane could accept Cal being in their life or that Shane could deal with the constant reminder that Jeannie was not his daughter.

_Okay . . . maybe on that last issue, Kim had a point._

Shane turned his mind back to Jericho. Cal was out. Even if he might have provided some answers as part of a deal, Shane would not put Kim through that. He would not even ask Kim to consider it. No. There had to be another way.

Checking his watch, Shane was surprised to realize it was already late in the afternoon. Maybe Roman had some information by now. Shane walked over to his desk, picked up the phone and called Roman. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, Shane asked if the lab results were back.

"I'm sorry, partner, but we've got nothing." Roman elaborated. "All of the prints on the box matched postal workers and people at the hospital. The shirt had a few prints, but they match yours, some ex-con who lives near that diner you told me about, and a set we can't match, but I would bet money on would be the diner owner. You said he handled the shirt several times. Oh, and I think I can answer a question you had about when you went missing."

"What's that?"

"There were prints from the guy who killed that couple out in the mountains," Roman said. "He was the subject of a huge manhunt around that time."

Shane remembered. For a time, with no memory of his own life, Shane had feared he was the killer. "Wait . . . his prints are on the shirt? How can that be?" Then it hit Shane. He had woken up in different clothes that when he had fought Jericho. And he had a different gun than his service pistol. "He swapped our clothes and guns."

"That's right," Roman said. "I guess he figured you'd be found and fingered as the killer."

Shane shook his head, stunned momentarily by that revelation. But then he reminded himself that that was all in the past. He tried to focus on the current situation. "As much as it's nice to get that question answered, I'm far more focused on the package and the keys. Sounds like this is just another dead end."

He could almost see Roman nodding. "I know, partner. I wish there was more I could do. Do you want me to increase patrols around the house?"

"No, there's no need," Shane said. "Just in case it's Jericho, I've doubled the ISA security." Shane doubted that would stop Jericho if he truly was out there and wanted to come after Andrew or Kim. Alfred had one of the keenest strategic minds Shane had ever seen. No amount of security would keep him out.

_All the better reason to pray he's dead and this is some sick joke._

Shane hung up the phone, walked over to the tea pot and poured himself a cup. As he sipped the tea, he deliberated over yet another dead end. His gut was telling him that he was missing something - something critical. If Jericho had survived, there should be some clues out there, not this utter lack of anything.

He was trying to figure out his next step when there was a light rap at the door. He looked up as Simmons poked his head inside. "Mrs. Williams is here to see you, sir."

_Julie_? That was a surprise. Shane did not have any reason to expect her, but obviously she had some information. He set the cup down on his desk just as Julie entered.

"Shane, darling," she said, as she crossed the room toward him. He gave her a light peck on the cheek, and motioned for her to take a seat.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked.

Julie shook her head. "No, I'm just here for a few minutes. I stopped by because I wanted to let you know that I talked with Kayla."

"Did you?" Shane waited expectantly for the answer.

"She's thinking about returning to the lab, but if she does, you'll need to keep your distance." Julie eyed him carefully. "I told you I wouldn't push her. She's reluctant because of Steve, and-" Julie held up her hand when Shane started to protest. "-whatever you think, he's entitled to his feelings and you need to accept that Kayla intends to respect them. So if you want Kayla back at the lab, you need to stay away."

"But I can't, Julie." Shane sighed. "Carly's just come on board with this project, and I need to meet with her regularly."

"Then meet with her outside the lab or when Kayla's not there," Julie said. "That's non-negotiable, Shane. I promised Kayla I would provide a buffer between you, and that's my rule."

Shane shook his head. "This is all so ridiculous. I don't have any designs on Kayla. We're just friends."

"Come on, Shane. . . . You're not 'just friends.' You were in a relationship and you can't expect Kayla and Steve to forget that." Julie's eyes narrowed. "There's more to this."

"She's a friend," Shane insisted. "And maybe they're in a bit of short supply these days, okay?" Shane sighed again. "Look, whatever our relationship was, it started out as a friendship. She was someone I could talk to. . . ."

"And I suspect you could use someone like that right now," Julie said. She had that sympathetic look that drove Shane to distraction.

"I don't need your pity, Julie."

Julie smiled softly. "It's not pity, darling. It's understanding. When you've had someone you can really open yourself to and you lose that, it's a tremendous loss. And you and me, we're successful, mature adults, so we're not supposed to need people to lean on. We both know that's not true. At least, I have my grandmother. But you . . . as much as you try to act the cold superspy, Shane, you hate being isolated as much as any man."

Shane felt his cheeks grow warm.

"It's human nature, I understand," Julie said. "But what you want can't come from Kayla, Shane. Not anymore. You need to let go. If you keep pushing Kayla and interfering in her life, the last thing you'll have is a friend. Let it go."

Shane knew she had a point. The way Kayla had snapped at him at the airport the week before had made it clear that she saw him as an interloper. Even though it was not his intention, he was causing problems for Kayla and that was the last thing he wanted. But that did not make it any easier to let go. Then Shane reminded himself that his goal had always been to make Kayla happy.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"You'll keep away from Kayla in the lab?" Julie's eyes narrowed again. "I want your word."

"Fine. I'll pretend like she doesn't exist." Shane looked at Julie. "Satisfied?"

Julie stood up and grinned. "Perfectly." She started for the door, then stopped and turned around. "Shane. . . . If your relationship with Kim was half of what I had with Doug - and my grandmother says it was, and then some - that's who you should be turning to." She raised her hand, once again to stop Shane from protesting. "Anyway, I've said my peace, darling. I'll let Kayla know you've agreed and will let you know what she decides."

She closed the door behind her as she stepped out of his study. Shane was left to think. Julie was wrong to think that he could open himself up to Kim, but he understood what she was saying about Kayla. She was right. His relationship with Kayla had started as a friendship, but having gone beyond that, it was impossible to just return to the way it had been before. Maybe it was not fair, but it was reality. If he continued to give Steve reason to see him as a threat, it would only make Kayla hate him. In the end, as hard as it was, it was better for all of them.

It was time to let Kayla go.


	192. Chapter 192

Steve stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom, reveling in the pleasant exhaustion that spread through his body and the sound of Kayla's quiet breathing next to him. He turned on his side and ran his hand along the soft skin of her exposed shoulder.

"I thought you'd want to sleep," she said, turning to face him. Her voice was teasing.

"There are a lot of things I want to do," Steve whispered. "Sleep . . . it's not even in the top five."

Kayla smiled wickedly and slid closer to him. He could feel the heat of her body only inches from him. Then her hand touched his chest.

"You don't ever want to get out of this bed?" Steve growled.

"Not any time soon," Kayla replied, her voice low and husky.

His blood was beginning to pump again, but he did not move. Kayla was taking charge right now and he was perfectly happy to follow her lead. Her lips touched lightly on his throat and then moved up until their mouths met in a deep, passionate kiss. Steve felt her tongue press forcefully past his lips and he welcomed her.

When they broke for air, he lifted his head and stared into her eyes. "God, baby, do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

Kayla chuckled as her hand ran low under the sheets. "I've got a good idea." Then she kissed him again.

"Did I tell you that I love you," he whispered between kisses. "That I never want to be anywhere but with you."

"The first part," Kayla said, a quick gasp that was silenced by another kiss. When they came apart, she said, "But I'm glad about the second."

"It's absolutely the truth," Steve replied. He wrapped his arms around Kayla and rolled over, so he was now above her. Their faces were only inches apart and Steve ran a hand through her hair.

It still amazed him that he was here. With her. It was still just a matter of weeks since he had been pulled out of that compound, and he was here, enjoying a lazy afternoon, making love to the woman he loved more than anything else in the world.

_I'm the luckiest man on this planet_, he thought. Who cared about jobs and the Salem PD? None of that mattered as he stared into Kayla's beautiful eyes. _I've got everything I truly need right here_.

A thought popped into his head and he grinned.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked. She brushed his hair back from his face.

"I'm trying to think of what we're going to do next week when you go back to work." Steve traced her lips with a finger. "We're not going to have these long afternoons to grab takeout and spend the rest of the day in bed while Grandma's babysitting. I might just die of loneliness. Or abstinence."

Kayla laughed and swatted at him playfully. "I guess we're just going to have make the nights count a bit more."

"Mmm hmmm," Steve said. "I like the sound of that. And maybe we should make the next few days count as well." He kissed her. "And the weekend. " He kissed her again. "And the lunch breaks. They've gotta let you have those."

"The lunch breaks?" She laughed again. "I'm sure I can find a storage closet or two."

"I think we'll only need one, Sweetness."

"Unless Dr. Bishop starts getting suspicious that I seem to take all my breaks on the third floor hallway, near pediatrics." Kayla burst into a fit of giggles as she looked into Steve's eye, and he knew it was because of the shocked look on his face. "Okay . . . I'll find one not so close to the kids. Maybe near geriatrics."

Now it was Steve's turn to laugh. "That'll be sexy. You and me and a bunch of old folks."

"Consider it practice," she whispered. "For when we're old and gray . . . because we're going to grow old together, Steve Johnson. We're always going to be together, even if we're both 90 and we can barely remember what to do in bed."

"I like the sound of that too, except the 'barely remember' part." Steve kissed her again. "But just in case, maybe we'd better make a few more memories. Let's make it a lot harder to forget."


	193. Chapter 193

Just a quick note. As a reader pointed out, I originally posted the same chapter a second time (as chapter 191, which is now deleted). I then uploaded the correct chapter as chapter 192, so if you missed it, it is now available.

Also, it would be great to get some feedback on the story. It has been rather quiet and it would be great to know if people are still reading the story, and what you are enjoying or not enjoying.

Thanks for reading.

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"Kim."

Turning at the sound of Marlena's voice, Kim saw her sister-in-law walking past the nurses' station. In Kim's arms, Jeannie twisted as well.

"Marlena," Kim said. "How are you?"

Marlena reached them and smiled down at Jeannie. "I'm fine. And how's this young lady?" She looked up at Kim. "Jeannie's getting so big."

Kim chuckled. "That's funny, actually. She just had her check-up and the doctor said she's actually a little undersized for her age. Not that I'd ever think that while carrying her-" She stopped as she saw Neil Curtis approaching. "Neil."

"And how are three of my favorite ladies this afternoon?" Neil asked with a smile. When Kim and Marlena each replied that they were fine, Neil said, "I'm actually glad I ran into you. I could use a little help with something."

"Oh?" Marlena spoke before Kim could.

Neil nodded. "I'm sure you know by now, but Kayla's been reinstated."

That actually came as news to Kim. Kayla had not called to tell her.

"Anyway, I want to do something for her return - to show Kayla that the people who really matter here are glad she's back," Neil explained. "Either a little get-together as a welcome back or we could hang a 'welcome back' sign and put some flowers in her office at the lab."

"She's going back to the lab?" Kim was still shocked that Kayla had not told her about the reinstatement, but the mention of the lab took her even more by surprise.

"Yes . . . Full reinstatement." Neil sounded very excited.

Kim did not feel the same._ Kayla's going back to the lab_? It was impossible to stop the twinge that hit her as she pictured Kayla and Shane working together once more. Kim knew it was silly to be jealous, but she could not help herself.

"Kim?" Neil was looking at her expectantly. "So? What to do you think?"

Marlena answered first. "It all sounds good, Neil. Whatever you choose, we'll help however you want." She grabbed Kim's arm. "But right now, Kim and I have something we need to discuss urgently."

Before either Kim or a bewildered Neil could respond, Marlena was dragging Kim toward her office. A moment later, they were inside, the door was closed, Kim was in a seat and Marlena was perched on the edge of her desk.

"Okay, Kim . . . out with it."

Kim tried to figure out what Marlena meant. "I don't understand."

"You looked like you saw a ghost when Neil mentioned Kayla's reinstatement," Marlena said. "So what's going on?"

Kim juggled Jeannie as she took a seat. "I was just surprised," Kim said. "Okay . . . It was a bit of a shock that Kayla would go back to the lab."

"Because of Shane?"

"Yes, because of Shane." Kim paused. "Considering what happened with Steve last week, I would've thought Kayla would keep her distance from Shane."

Marlena smiled slightly. "I suspect that's what you'd like, too."

Kim sighed. "I know it's stupid, but how would you feel if Roman started working with Isabella on a regular basis?"

"I wouldn't be happy about it," Marlena said. "But I trust Roman. Besides, it's not like Shane's at the lab everyday is he? I'm sure most of his time is spent on ISA matters?"

"Yeah . . . I guess so." Kim had to admit that things probably would be different at the lab now that the virus was cured. There no longer was an ISA reason for him to be so involved with the lab. Maybe she was just making a mountain out of a molehill.

Kim felt Marlena watching her. "There's more to it, Kim, isn't there?"

"More?" Kim said, perhaps a little more sharply than she intended. "Yes, there's more to it. There's someone out there trying to hurt my son and we don't know if it's Lawrence or if it's one of Shane's old adversaries who we thought was dead. Meanwhile, every day at the house is like walking on eggshells. One day, Shane is nice and protective. The next, he's completely distant. Or he just disappears into the communications room for days on end. I haven't even seen him in the past few days. The only way I even know he's alive is that Simmons tells me in the morning or I hear Shane pacing around all night because he can't sleep - and that just makes me think there's a lot he's not telling me. And, meanwhile, I'm supposed to be excited for my kid sister because everything in her life is returning to normal. She's got her family back and now her job, and I'm supposed to throw a party for her. I-"

Kim stopped suddenly as she realized what she had just said. Her face flushed red with embarrassment. Neither she nor Marlena said a word, until Kim managed to speak again.

"God . . . I can't believe I just said that," she said quietly. "I . . . I don't know what came over me."

"Frustration," Marlena said. "A little jealousy that Kayla's life seems to be getting settled and yours and Shane's are in upheaval. Shall I go on?"

Kim shook her head. "No . . . I don't mean to sound so selfish. It's not like Kayla being happy means I can't be. And I can't really even hold her responsible for what happened with Shane. I did a lot to push her."

"You did?" Marlena sounded surprised.

"Stupid, wasn't it?" Kim said. "After my initial shock, I guess I wanted to prove I could stand on my own two feet and live my life without Shane. Plus I was working with the ISA and trying to get close to Lawrence, so I had to prove I did not want to be with Shane at all. So I encouraged Kayla. I can't tell you how many times I told her that Shane really loved her . . . and, in his limited way, I guess he did."

The room fell silent again, and Kim knew Marlena was waiting for her to say more.

Kim looked down at Jeannie, who's little fingers had curled around the necklace Kim was wearing. "Do you have any idea what it's like to look at the man you love and know that he loves you and wants you, but also know that you've hurt him so much that he's terrified to ever act on it?"

"I remember what Shane was like when he came to Salem," Marlena said. "It took you a long time to work through your issues."

Marlena was right. It had taken a long time for both of them to lower their walls. Kim just did not know if that could happen again.

"I don't know. . . . He doesn't think I trusted our love enough." Kim thought back to what Shane had said the night after the fight with Steve. "He thinks I didn't trust that our love was strong enough to withstand the obstacles we faced. Maybe there's some truth to that."

"I don't believe it," Marlena said. "Not after everything you overcame."

"But why didn't I trust him with the truth about Jeannie?" Kim asked. "Shouldn't I have had faith that he could accept the truth and we could work through it together? Wouldn't that have been better than lies?"

Marlena shrugged. "You can dwell on the past, Kim, or you can try to work through it. Maybe you need to talk with Shane. Be honest and tell him what you want." Standing, Marlena crossed the room to the door. "I have a patient in a minute, but think about what I said."

Kim started to protest. Marlena had no idea what Kim had already tried, but Marlena cut her off.

"Think about it, Kim. You can be honest and tell Shane what you want. Or you can be stubborn - and all alone."


	194. Chapter 194

Shane wondered why he felt uneasy as he got dressed. There was nothing specific that was worrying him, just the same general issues that had been plaguing him for the past several days. His attempts to find out anything about Jericho kept hitting dead ends. He felt no better able to protect Andrew and Kim than before. His relationship with Tarrington was still strained after their argument about Steve. Things with Kim at the house were still awkward. And, of course, Lawrence Alamain still posed an overriding threat to everyone Shane knew.

"So maybe I don't really need to wonder," Shane muttered as he buckled his belt, double-checked that his gun was secure in his shoulder holster, and grabbed his suit coat before leaving his bedroom.

The upstairs of the house was quiet, which was not surprising. It was just after 6 a.m., and Kim had been up during the night with a crying Jeannie. Shane had been tempted to see what was wrong, but reminded himself that it was not his role. He was not Jeannie's father.

Making his way downstairs, he heard noise in the kitchen. Simmons, always an early riser, was probably preparing breakfast.

"Morning, Sir," Simmons said as Shane entered. Without being asked, he poured a cup of coffee and passed it to Shane. "Figure you'd need this."

"Jeannie woke you too?" Shane asked.

"I don't really mind." Simmons smiled. "Reminds me a bit of when you and Master Drew were wee tykes. Ah, the pair of you. One of you'd start to cry and, just when we'd get that one settled, the other would start. Gave your mum fits."

"I'm sure she managed just fine with your help." Shane took a sip of the coffee. _That's definitely what I needed._

Simmons pointed at the breakfast table. "The paper is over there, Sir."

"Anything interesting?" Shane asked.

"I didn't take a look." Simmons motioned to a pan in front of him. "I wanted to get these cinnamon rolls cooked before Master Andrew came down. You know they're his favorite. And I figured, with him still not being able to go to school, it might cheer him up."

"That's a nice thought." Shane took another sip of the coffee and turned toward the table. He took a seat and skimmed the world headlines in the Spectator. Armenia becomes the latest part of the Soviet Union to declare independence. That meant the ISA would have another government to keep tabs on. More trouble in Iraq as inspectors discover files about Saddam Hussein's nuclear weapons program. Shane wondered how much of that discovery was due to information provided by Ahmed Salim.

Closer to home, the front page reported the high school football team had lost a close game and the mayor had declared a war on graffiti. Shane chuckled. If only Salem's problems could be the biggest problems the world faced.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Andrew's shout pierced the morning calm as he raced into the kitchen. Shane barely managed to put the coffee cup down before his son barreled into him.

"Whoa there, Sport," Shane said, even though he grinned as Andrew gave him a hug. "You're up early."

Andrew stepped back as Shane let go of him, and looked up earnestly. "Can we go riding? Pretty please?"

Shane started to say no. "I have to go-" But then he stopped himself. He had been working long hours at the field office and in his communications room trying to find out about Jericho and setting up the new plans for the Alamain investigation, and had barely spent any time with Andrew in the past week. Shane looked over at the clock. It was still before 6:30 a.m. and Andrew's tutor would not be arriving until 8 a.m. It probably did not leave enough time to saddle the pony and a horse for Shane so they could both go for a ride, but Shane had an idea.

"I bet Jester's getting tired of being cooped up in the stable," Shane said. "So how about we take him out in the corral for a little bit. Is that okay?"

Andrew's face broke out in a wide smile. "Can we?"

"Sure." Shane nodded. "Go get your jacket and boots, and we'll go right now. And when we get back, I think Simmons will have a batch of cinnamon rolls all ready. Right, Simmons?"

"Absolutely, Sir."

Andrew tore out of the kitchen even faster than he had entered, leaving both of the men to laugh at the boy's energy. Shane took another sip from his coffee cup and stood up.

"I guess I'd better get prepared for a riding lesson," he said.

Simmons smiled, but he looked out the door in the direction Andrew had run. "You know, Sir. . . . I don't say this much, but your parents . . . they would've been proud of you. And that boy, oh, they would've loved that boy." He sighed. "It's such a shame what happened to them that they never saw their grandson."

"I know," Shane said, with a slight tinge of regret. His parents had disappeared in a boating accident just over a year before he had come to Salem, and had never met either of their grandchildren. "They would've doted on Eve. And you know they would've spoiled Andrew rotten."

"And you would've let them, Sir," Simmons said.

Shane laughed. "You know me too well, Simmons." He was about to say something else, but he heard the echo of rapid footsteps coming toward the kitchen. An instant later, Andrew burst into the room, his face full of anticipation.

"Ready, Daddy?" he asked excitedly.

"Did you manage to get all the way upstairs and back with your jacket that fast?" At Andrew's hasty nod, Shane joked, "You know, Simmons, I think we may have a future Olympic sprint champion in this house."

"That we might," Simmons said.

Andrew grabbed Shane's hand and began pulling him toward the back door. He smiled as he was pulled through the door into the brisk morning air. That was when Shane realized he was still holding the Spectator. "Wait a second," Shane said, letting go of Andrew's hand and turning back inside.

"Hurry, Daddy!" Andrew urged.

Shane shook his head, but could not help but smile at his son's antics. From the doorway, he folded the paper back up and tossed it onto the table. As he stepped outside, pulled the door closed behind him, and followed Andrew toward the garden gate, Shane never noticed the box on the bottom, right corner of the front page of the Spectator. It trumpeted an article inside:

"_Details Emerge On Government Rescue Of Local Man._"


	195. Chapter 195

"'Johnson was held in a small room, really a closet.'" Kayla lowered the newspaper and took a deep breath before she returned to reading the article aloud. "'The source said, "It's a wonder that room didn't get blown to smithereens during the attack." That attack came in late July, when American soldiers and ISA agents, including Salem resident and ISA Captain Shane Donovan, raided the compound. "You wouldn't believe the firepower," said the source. "The whole place was exploding, and the buildings were on fire. There were bodies everywhere. The building where Johnson was being kept was-"'"

Kayla stopped abruptly as she heard a door open. _Probably Steve coming out of the bedroom_. A moment later, he wandered into the kitchen wearing just a pair of jeans. He rubbed his eye, yawned, and walked over to the coffee pot.

"Morning, baby," he said, stifling another yawn. "What's happening in the world?"

"Well. . . ." Kayla studied him as she spoke. "There's some stuff about Armenia, a little something about Iraq. . . . Oh, and the ISA and U.S. Army rescued you from a compound in Egypt near the Libyan border."

Steve's coffee cup crashed to the floor and cracked into several pieces. "What?" he sputtered.

"Yeah," Kayla said. "Courtesy of Jack. '_Local Man Freed In ISA/Army Raid In Egypt_.' It even mentions it's a 'Spectator exclusive.'"

"Let me see that." Steve ignored the broken cup and the coffee on the floor as he reached over and pulled the newspaper out of Kayla's hands. He studied it and began to read from the beginning. "'The Spectator has learned that former police officer Steven Earl Johnson, who was believed dead only to return to Salem a few weeks ago, was not found in Cincinnati as previously reported. An exclusive source has told the Spectator that Johnson was rescued by combined forces from the International Security Alliance and the U.S. military in a daring raid on a compound in Egypt where Johnson was being held captive.' I don't believe it," Steve said, lowering the paper. "I can't believe Jack figured it out."

"So it's all true?" Kayla asked.

Steve skimmed the article. It sure sounded accurate. It talked about how Steve had been held in a storage closet, described the raid pretty closely to how Steve remembered it - a lot of explosions and gunfire, choking smoke, and confusion - and described his condition when he was treated by doctors. "Guess Jack found somebody in the know. I wonder who his 'anonymous source' is."

Kayla was surprised at that. "You mean you didn't talk to him?"

"Of course not, baby." Steve seemed almost offended that she even suggested it. "It's a joke that there's all this secrecy, but I gave my word. So, no, I did not talk to Jack." He paused and his eye narrowed as he looked at the article again. "But somebody sure did."

Kayla felt relieved. She remembered when Shane had told her and Kim that they needed to keep Steve's rescue secret. He had said something about getting in trouble if the truth came out. Hopefully, he was just exaggerating, but somehow Kayla doubted that. But at least her main fear was quelled; she had worried that all of the recent conflict between Shane and Steve had led Steve to talk deliberately about the rescue mission.

Steve shook his head as he kept reading the article. "This is amazing, Sweetness. 'The Egyptian government confirmed that a private research facility in Western Egypt, near the Libyan border, was the subject of an attack in July that killed dozens of researchers. However, the Egyptian authorities said they had no idea who masterminded the attack and Western authorities had denied involvement.' Wow, looks like someone wasn't telling the truth. 'Attempts to contact the ISA for comment met with no response.'" Finishing the article, he tossed the paper onto the table and walked back over to the spilled coffee and broken cup. As he crouched down to clean up the mess, he continued to shake his head.

After watching him for a moment, Kayla picked up the newspaper again and reread the description of the raid. She looked back over at Steve, who was sweeping up the last shards of the cup and dumping them into the wastebasket. "Steve . . . You didn't answer my question earlier. Is that what it was like?"

He gave a curt, little nod, but said nothing.

"Were you scared?" she asked. "I mean, I would've been terrified. Locked up in a small room and hearing guns and explosions, but not knowing what was going on." Steve had never talked about this part of his ordeal, and she hoped the article might prompt him to tell her about it.

Steve seemed to freeze for a little while. She could not tell if he was debating whether to respond or if he was remembering that night, but he finally said, "I guess there's no need to keep it secret any more. Yeah, baby, it was scary. I had no idea what was happening. The building I was in - it was really a trailer - was shaking, and the noise was getting louder and louder as they got closer to it. The men in there were shouting and I could hear them shooting only a few feet away. Then there was a big explosion right nearby and I was knocked back, even though the door stayed closed." He had a faraway look in his eye. "It was quiet for a minute and then the door opened and . . . there was Shane."

Kayla could only imagine how scared Steve must have been and she was glad that he was at least talking about it. Shane's presence surprised her though. Steve had said before that Shane was not really involved in the rescue. "Shane was there when the door opened?"

She could see Steve tense, but he nodded. "Yeah. Him and a soldier. I didn't recognize him at first. I mean . . . you always think of Shane in a coat and tie. Not in fatigues and carrying a machine gun."

_That's pretty hard to picture_, she thought, but she also was getting a very different picture of Steve's rescue. Neither Steve nor Shane had ever provided any details, and she had been given no reason to believe the whole thing had been so dangerous.

Steve mopped up the last of the coffee and tossed the dirty towel into the sink. His eye narrowed again. "It's funny. . . . Reading that article. Only three people knew what happened in that room. Me, Shane and Deakins."

"Deakins?" That was a name Kayla had never heard before.

"One of the soldiers," Steve explained, as he pulled a new coffee cup from the cabinet. "He was with Shane when they found me. I only found out his name, because he got shot on the way out and wound up in the hospital bed next to mine. Funny dude."

Kayla focused more on the "shot" part of what Steve had said. "Wait. . . . Back up a minute. You were with Shane and this soldier . . . Deakins . . . and he got shot?"

Steve nodded again as he finished filling the cup. He walked back over to the table and sat down. "You know, I don't really think I've thought much about that part of it. I kind of forgot it, since everything was so confusing and . . . well . . . I wasn't exactly in the best of shape - mentally or physically." He frowned for a moment and then closed his eye, as if he was searching his memory. "Shane was helping me out. Deakins was in front of us and he went down. I don't remember any other soldiers around, and then Shane - yeah, it definitely was Shane - took out the guy who shot Deakins. Hmmm. . . ."

"What?"

"I totally forgot that," Steve said, as if he was surprised by the thought. "There was the guy who shot Deakins and he was right there and had us dead to rights, and Shane took him out. Guess maybe Spooky did more than I gave him credit for."

Kayla raised an eyebrow. "Spooky?"

"That was what Deakins called Shane." Steve chuckled. "Something else I forgot about 'til now."

Kayla could not believe what she was hearing. From what Steve was saying, and what was in the article, it sounded like Kayla had almost lost Steve before she ever got him back. And Shane had almost died as well. She did not know whether to be thankful that they had escaped or be angry that nobody had bothered to tell her the truth before now.

She decided to be thankful.

Steve was being honest when he said he had not really thought about that night. She could tell that. Kayla also suspected that Steve's memory loss was partly because he did not want another reason to feel grateful to Shane. But she knew now was not the time to ask Steve about that, so she instead went back to the article.

"So I guess it must have been Deakins who talked to Jack," Kayla said. "You didn't talk, and I doubt Shane did. He seemed pretty serious about how everything had to stay secret."

"Maybe," Steve said, looking doubtful at the idea. "Even the ISA has leaks, I guess. Maybe Jack got hold of a report from somebody or something." He looked up at Kayla and shrugged. "You know Jack; he never lets anything go - even when I told him to let it die."

_Maybe_. Kayla shook her head. Something just seemed strange about the whole thing. "I just keep thinking how Shane said nobody should talk about it."

"Come on, Sweetness," Steve said. "I'm sure he was just going overboard on that ISA super-security stuff. He's always done that. Remember how he didn't tell us about Benjy's father?" Steve paused, then added in a slightly bitter tone, "Besides, he should be happy. Thanks to Jack, everyone can read about what a hero Donovan is."

Kayla was about to reply, but Stephanie chose that minute to let loose with an ear-splitting cry from the other side of the apartment. "That's my cue," she said, standing up. As she walked to Stephanie's bedroom, her focus shifted from the article to her crying daughter. By the time she had changed Stephanie and returned to the kitchen to prepare Stephanie's breakfast, Steve and the newspaper were both gone.


	196. Chapter 196

Shane looked away from Andrew and the pony to check his watch. 7 a.m. Time to get back to the house. Shane turned his attention back to Andrew, who was looking like a pro as Jester trotted around the ring.

"Let's finish up, Sport," Shane said, ignoring Andrew's scowl. "I know you'd prefer to stay out here all day, but you have to get cleaned up before your tutor arrives. I don't want her complaining to your mother than you smell like a horse."

Andrew giggled as he slowed Jester and brought him to a stop.

Shane helped Andrew off the pony, and gave him the lead rope. "Now what do we do next?"

"Unsaddle and unbridle," Andrew answered. "Then brush him, and give him his breakfast."

"Right," Shane said, as he followed Andrew and the pony to the stable. Once inside, Shane said, "Now walk him up and down a little so he cools down while I get the brushes."

It took about 15 minutes to get Jester groomed and fed, as Shane helped Andrew through the process. In the back of his mind, he remembered how his own father had lectured him and Drew about the proper care of their horses. Shane's father had been a bit more didactic in the way he taught, but it looked like Shane's approach was working too. Andrew seemed to be learning about the responsibility of caring for a pet, Shane thought, as he proudly watched his son.

"Captain Donovan, sir," came a voice from behind him just as Shane was finishing tossing some hay into Jester's stall. Shane turned to see Mike standing at the stable doors. "Simmons told me Andrew was out here."

"Good morning, Mike," Shane said, as Andrew ran up to Mike and began rapidly detailing the morning so far. Mike glanced at Shane with a look that indicated he had something to say, but Andrew was not letting him get a word in. A little sternly, Shane cut in. "Andrew, let Mike speak, please."

Andrew fell silent and Mike motioned over his shoulder. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there were some men at the house asking for you."

That was odd. It was far too early for visitors. "Did they say who they were?" Shane asked.

Mike shook his head. "They might have told Simmons, but I didn't hear. If I had to guess, I'd say they're feds." Shane knew exactly what Mike meant. Federal agents just had an air about them; it never seemed to matter if they were FBI, DEA or Secret Service. You just knew. Shane liked to think the ISA was different, but maybe that was because they took agents from all over the world. As Shane pondered that thought, Mike glanced out the door. "Looks like they're on their way down here from the house."

"Well, we're done here, so why don't we meet them halfway?" Shane scooped up Andrew and, with Mike following, headed out of the stables. He immediately spotted the four men. _Definitely feds. _The one in front, Louis Pasqua, was the Assistant U.S. Attorney for Salem. Shane recognized him from numerous meetings at the U.S. Attorneys' Office over the years, most recently when the lawyer consulted with the ISA on the Alamain surveillance. Shane did not recognize the three men flanking Pasqua, but they all wore dark suits and sunglasses that seemed completely unnecessary on this misty September morning. FBI was Shane's guess.

Still carrying Andrew, Shane approached the group. "Louis, what can I do for you?"

The men paused and Shane detected some discomfort in Pasqua's expression. After a minute, he seemed to compose himself as he loudly asked, "Shane Donovan?"

Shane was puzzled. "Louis . . . what's going on?"

Pasqua looked even more uncomfortable. "Shane," he said, hesitantly. "Look. . . there's nothing I can do about this. I have a warrant for your arrest."

For a second, Shane thought it was a joke, but from Pasqua's expression and the stony looks on the faces of the men with him, Shane realized they were serious. He looked at Andrew and realized that he needed to get his son out of the way. "Hey, Sport, why don't you and Mike go up to the house? I bet Simmons has those cinnamon rolls all finished."

"What about you, Daddy?" Andrew's eyes were wide.

_What about me_? Shane wondered. He had no clue what was going on, but he did not want to worry Andrew. "I'm going to talk with these nice men, okay?" He set Andrew on the ground and nodded to Mike, who reached for Andrew's hand. They began to walk away, but Andrew kept looking back. He obviously knew something was wrong.

Meanwhile, one of the FBI agents pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

"Is that really necessary," Shane asked.

Pasqua nodded. "Unfortunately."

Shane's heart began to beat faster and he looked again at Andrew, who still had not reached the garden. "Look . . . can we just walk back to the house before you put those on? My son's right there, and he's been through a lot recently. He doesn't need to see his father dragged off like some common criminal."

The agent with the handcuffs stepped forward. "Put your hands on your head."

"All I'm asking is for you to wait," Shane said. His heart was pounding so loud, he almost could not hear his own voice. "A couple minutes, please. That's all. Just so he doesn't have to see this."

Ignoring the request, the agent reached out and grabbed Shane's left arm. Instinct took over and he jerked away, reversed the grip, spun, and sent the man tumbling head over heels. Before Shane even registered what he had done, the man was on the ground. An instant later, Shane heard a click, then another, from the direction of the other agents, who were now behind him.

The sounds were unmistakable. Safeties being released.

Because Shane had turned, the other agents were outside his field of vision. But he could picture them clearly in his mind. More importantly, he could clearly picture the guns aimed at his back.

Shane became completely still. He kept his hands away from his body, knowing any movement could set off a trigger-happy agent. His heart was still pounding and his throat had gone dry. Very slowly, he said, "Let's . . . let's not do anything rash."

In the distance, he heard Andrew yell. "Don't hurt my daddy!"

With his back turned to the house, Shane had no idea where Andrew was. He hoped that Mike was rushing the boy to the house. _Don't let him see this_, Shane begged silently.

"Don't hurt my daddy!" Andrew shouted again. Shane tried to shut out Andrew's screams.

Meanwhile, the agent Shane had thrown pulled himself off the wet grass. "Put your hands on your head," he ordered angrily. Shane slowly complied, careful not to move too quickly. The agent with the cuffs grabbed his arm and spun him around, so he could see the two agents with their guns aimed directly at him. Behind them, near the garden gate, he could see Andrew struggling to break free of Mike's grip. Andrew was still yelling.

The agent with the cuffs was now behind Shane. The man had a hold of his wrists and Shane expected to feel the metal of the cuffs, but, instead, he was struck on the back of his legs and fell to his knees. The agent shoved him forward - face down onto the grass - and planted a knee in the small of his back so Shane could not move.

He felt the dew from the wet grass soaking through his shirt and trousers. The agent's weight made it hard to breathe and he tried to shift his head so he could take a breath without getting a mouthful of grass and mud.

With his head on the ground, Shane also could not see Andrew, but he could hear the boy's cries still cutting through the morning air. Over and over, Andrew screamed, "Don't hurt my daddy."

_Why_? Shane asked himself, almost too befuddled to really believe this was happening. _Was he really being arrested_? _For what_? But more than that, he angrily asked himself, _Why did Andrew have to see this_?Shane's cheeks burned with a mix of anger and shame as he continued to hear Andrew crying in the distance.

The agent pulled Shane's arms behind him, and the metal cuffs bit deeply into his wrists as they snapped shut. Then, he was jerked hard from the ground and frisked roughly. "Look what we've got here," the agent said. Then he waved Shane's pistol in front of him. "Odd thing to carry for a walk with the kid, isn't it?"

Shane bit back his response. There was no point antagonizing them further by explaining what it's like to have someone threatening your child. Shane realized that he could no longer hear Andrew, which meant he had probably reached the house. But the boy had already seen enough. _What will Kim tell him_? Shane wondered. _What will I tell him_? Heglared at Pasqua, but the lawyer looked away, seemingly as embarrassed by the scene as Shane was.

"Can you at least tell me what's going on?" Shane asked.

"You'll find out," Pasqua said, without meeting Shane's gaze. Then he began to read Shane his rights, as the agents shoved him back in the direction of the house.


	197. Chapter 197

Kim was just carrying Jeannie down the staircase when she heard the commotion from the kitchen. _What's wrong with Andrew_? she asked herself as she heard him howling. She raced down the hall and entered the kitchen.

Inside, she saw Mike holding Andrew tightly. Her son was kicking and screaming incoherently, and it looked like he was trying to get back to the open door to the garden.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

Breathlessly, Mike said, "It's Captain Donovan. . . ." He was struggling to control Andrew, but gasped, "Outside."

_Shane_? _What's wrong with Shane_? Worried, Kim started for the door, but then stopped and looked at her son. "Andrew . . . Please try to calm down. I'm going to check on Daddy."

At first, she doubted Andrew even heard her through his tantrum, but then he shouted, "They hurt Daddy!"

_Hurt_? Kim's blood froze, and she immediately thought of Jericho. _No_. She refused to believe it. She spun away from Andrew and headed out the door, even as her son's cries echoed behind her. _Please let him be all right_, she begged silently as she raced for the gate that led from the garden to the lakeside.

Reaching the gate, Kim looked out over the grassy slope between the garden and the lake. She saw the dark-suited men pulling Shane toward the house. His clothing was disheveled and dirty, and his face and hair were spattered with mud and grass.

Shane spotted her also. "Don't. . . ." he said, his tone warning her away.

The man in front stepped toward Kim, who had opened the gate. "Keep back," he ordered. "We don't want anything to happen to you or your baby."

Kim realized that she was still carrying Jeannie. "What's going on?" she asked the man, but he did not answer. Kim looked over his shoulder toward Shane and realized, for the first time, that his hands were cuffed behind him. "Shane?"

He shook his head, and she could tell he was fighting to control himself. "Just . . . just call Mickey . . . and Roman."

_Mickey and Roman_. . . . Then it hit her. The only reason Shane would ask for them was if he were being arrested. _This can't be happening_, she thought. _How can they arrest Shane_?

She saw Shane wince as one of the men jerked his arm and pulled him toward the side of the house. Then Shane looked back at her. "Make sure Andrew's okay." He looked down and she thought she heard him say, "He shouldn't have had to see this."

Now Kim understood why Andrew had been screaming. "Where are you taking him?" Kim said to the man standing in front of her.

The man glanced at Shane and hesitated as if he did not want to answer her. Then he said, "He'll be booked at the Salem Police Department. That's all I can say."

Kim watched soundlessly as the men dragged Shane around the edge of the house and out of view. She felt a momentary relief that they did not bring him through the house where Andrew would see him again. The whole situation was so surreal that Kim wondered if it was just some bad nightmare and she was going to wake up.

Then she realized that Jeannie was crying, and she knew it was real. _They just arrested Shane_. Kim stood there, staring out at the lake, still disbelieving. _How can they possibly arrest Shane_?

She hugged Jeannie close and tried to soothe her as she turned back toward the house. Reaching the kitchen, she saw Andrew being comforted by Simmons. Streaks of tears ran down his face, but he was crying softly and no longer screaming. Kim glanced over at Mike, who was cleaning some cuts and scrapes with antiseptic. Everyone looked at her as she entered.

Kim handed a now-quiet Jeannie to Simmons and crouched next to Andrew. "Daddy's okay. He's not hurt and he'll be fine."

Andrew looked up at her with a stricken expression. _So much like Shane_, she thought. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes, really." Kim was too confused by everything to say anything more. She turned to Mike. "Are you okay?" When he nodded, she asked, "Can you take Andrew to the library? I need to make some calls."

After they left, Simmons turned to her, "Madame, what's going on? I've never seen Master Andrew like that."

"I don't know," Kim said. That was all she could manage to say. _But I'm going to find out_. She was actually surprised at how calm she felt. Maybe it was because it still felt so unreal.

Kim walked over to the kitchen phone and dialed Roman. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Sis, what's up?"

_What's up_? _The man I love was just dragged off for reasons nobody would tell me. My son's been traumatized because he had to see that. Where do I start_? Okay, it was starting to feel more real and she was getting more upset. Kim fought to retain the calm. "Roman . . . some men just showed up at the house and arrested Shane."

She heard a sputtering sound. "Ow," Roman yelped.

"Roman? Are you okay?"

"Yeah . . . I just spilled my coffee," he said. "But forget that. Now tell me what happened?"

Kim started to tell him what little she knew. "Shane and Andrew were outside. I guess these men came out and arrested Shane. Andrew was screaming and I went out, but they wouldn't tell me why." Her words were coming faster and faster. "All they said was he was being taken to the police station."

Over the phone, she heard Roman say Shane's name, and she realized he was telling Marlena. Then he turned his attention back to her. "Look, Sis, I'll head right over to the station and see what I can find out. This doesn't make any sense. You just need to stay calm."

She knew he was right, but it was one thing to know she should stay calm. It was another to actually stay calm. "I know. . . . Roman, what could they possibly think he did?" She thought back to when Shane had been arrested for espionage when Victor Kiriakis had framed him. "Could Lawrence be behind this?"

"I don't know, Sis, but I'll find-" Roman stopped abruptly.

When he did not continue, Kim asked, "Roman?"

The line stayed silent for a little longer, before Roman spoke again. Very slowly, he asked, "Do you have the Spectator there?"

Kim glanced around and spotted the paper folded on the edge of the table. "Sure."

"Go to page 3," Roman said.

She grabbed the paper and opened it to the page Roman had mentioned. Near the top was a large picture of Steve under the banner headline: _"Local Man Freed In ISA/Army Raid In Egypt: Man Believed Dead Actually Held Captive For Nine Months_._"_

Kim felt her legs shake as they threatened to give way. She heard Shane's voice in her head as she remembered him drunkenly telling her she deserved a prize for figuring out he could go to jail if people found about the mission to rescue Steve.

_This can't be happening. This just can't be happening._ Out loud, she said, in halting words, "Roman, they can't do this." She was losing the battle to control herself.

"I know," he said. "You just need to stay calm." There was a pause. "Marlena's coming over to be with you."

Kim shook her head. _No_, she thought. _I don't need Marlena holding my hand_. That was followed by the involuntary thought, _I just need Shane_. "Tell her not to bother," Kim said. "I'm calling Mickey Horton and then I'm heading down to the station."

"Sis-"

"No, Roman," she insisted. "Some men just came into this house and took my hu- took Shane - and they traumatized my son. I want some answers and I'm not just going to sit here."

Roman spoke softly, "You can only make things worse."

"Don't give me that!" Kim snapped. "How could I possibly make things worse than they already are? Shane's in jail, and for what? For rescuing Steve. How could-" Kim stopped suddenly, and looked again at the article. Underneath the headline, she read: "_By Jack Devereaux_."

_It couldn't be_, she thought. _He wouldn't_ . . . . But it was the only logical explanation.

"Sis?" Roman sounded worried.

"I'm sorry," Kim said. "What was that?"

"You just stopped. What is it?"

"It's okay," she said, forcing herself to sound calm, even if her prior shock was now turning to rage. "The first thing I'm going to do is call Mickey and-" _No._ She stopped herself. _That's the second call I'm going to make_. But she decided not to mention the first call she planned on making to Roman. Instead, she just said, "And then I'm coming down to the station to get some answers."


	198. Chapter 198

Kayla sat on the couch watching Stephanie play with her toys. She was a little concerned and surprised that Steve had just left without telling her, but she knew that the article about his rescue had stirred up some memories, and she understood that he might need some time to sort it all out. She just hoped that he could.

Reading the article had been a reminder that, despite all that had happened since they had reunited in England, it had really only been a couple of months since Steve had been freed. Kayla knew Steve was still dealing with the effects of what Lawrence had done to him. The nightmares were still there, and Kayla had awoken several times in the last few nights to find Steve checking the locks and making sure that Stephanie was safe in her crib. She could not help but wonder what the article dredging up memories of the rescue might do to Steve.

Kayla again wondered how Jack had gotten the information. She knew that Shane would have never told Jack, and it seemed pretty unlikely that Jack could have tracked down Deakins, the soldier Steve had mentioned. Yet, she was also sure that Steve had been honest when he said that he had not talked to Jack.

Steve had never been able to lie to her very well. Even when he had been keeping secrets she had always been able to tell that something was wrong, just not exactly what it was. But when she had asked Steve about the article, there had been nothing but truth in his eye. He had been completely honest with her. Of that, she was sure.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. She reached over and picked it up.

"Hello."

"Kayla, it's Kim." Kim's tone was cold.

"Hi Kimmie . . . what's wrong?" Kayla felt kind of stupid at asking. She was pretty certain Kim was calling about the article in the Spectator.

"Is Steve there? I'd like to talk to him."

"No, he's not. He left the apartment a little while ago."

"Oh, I see." Kim's voice took on a sarcastic tone. "Did he go see Jack to give him another exclusive?"

"So that is what this is about," Kayla replied, still not understanding her sister's coldness. "Steve didn't talk to Jack."

Kim's sarcasm came through even stronger as she said, "I'm sure that's what he told you, Kayla. I just can't believe you bought it. Or maybe I can."

Kayla was shocked at the anger in Kim's voice. "Wait a minute, Kim. Even if Steve did talk to Jack - which he didn't - why are you so upset about it?"

"Because I just watched Shane being dragged off in handcuffs, that's why!" Kim said sharply. "All because your husband decided to destroy Shane's life."

"What?" Kayla was confused. "Shane was arrested? Why?"

"They wouldn't tell me," Kim snapped. "But I don't think it's coincidence that it happened the day that article came out. Shane told us that he could get in trouble if the truth got out."

"It didn't make any sense then and it doesn't make any sense now," Kayla replied, trying to remain calm in the face of her sister's accusations. "Shane and the ISA rescued Steve. How could that be something that would get Shane in trouble?"

"Why don't you ask the men that just dragged Shane away?" Kim was nearly shouting now. "Or my five-year-old son, who had to watch it happen? As if it's not enough that he's been shot at and nearly run over with a car, he had to see his father hauled off to jail."

Kayla felt sick at the thought. _But none of this makes any sense._

"All Steve had to do was keep his mouth shut," Kim continued. "But even that was too much for him, wasn't it?"

"Kim," Kayla tried again. "I know you're upset, but it wasn't Steve. I asked him about the article. He said he did not give the information to Jack, and he wasn't lying." She took a deep breath. "I'd know if Steve was lying. Even if you can't trust Steve, can you at least trust me?"

"No, Kayla, I can't." Kim said coldly. "Ever since Steve came back, he's been angry at Shane. Over you. Over Stephanie. Over every little perceived slight. I know he attacked Shane just the other day just because Shane didn't support Steve's reinstatement to the police force. Well, I guess Steve figured this was his way of paying Shane back."

"I'm telling you that Steve wouldn't do that, Kim." Kayla was desperate to get her sister to believe her. "I know he's been angry at Shane, but he wouldn't do something like this. He told me he didn't, and I know he was telling the truth. He wouldn't do this."

"You don't know what he would or wouldn't do," Kim snapped back. "Steve's been out of control since he got back, and you've been covering for him every step of the way. And to think, I was even trying to help him."

"That's enough, Kim." Kayla was not going to be the target of her sister's anger anymore.

"You're right," Kim said. "Tell Steve that I hope he's happy now. Or maybe Shane needs to be sentenced to prison first. Then Steve can be thrilled that he's gotten Shane out of your life."

Kayla heard the phone slam down on the other end of the line. She stared at the receiver in shock, before laying it in its cradle. And all she could wonder was how one little newspaper article could cause so much trouble.


	199. Chapter 199

Shane sat down on the metal bench, but he could not sit still. A moment later, he was back on his feet and pacing around the barren cell. He started to raise a hand to his face, but stopped when he saw his hand; the black ink from the fingerprinting kit still stained his fingers.

The FBI agents had dragged him here and rushed him through some form of booking, but they had refused to tell Shane anything - not even what he was being charged with. He had looked for Roman or Abe, but neither seemed to be around in the five minutes they had him in the main station. Then the FBI agents had pulled him to a block of solitary cells, well apart from the main holding area. He seemed to be the only one in the block, something Shane suspected the FBI had arranged.

Pacing, Shane wondered what time it was. They had taken his watch, and his mind had been spinning so fast, he had made no attempt to track time. So many questions wracked his brain. Why he was under arrest was only one of them.

_Is Andrew okay? What about the house? Is it secure? Is this a ploy by Jericho? Or Lawrence?_

Shane had to get out of here. His family was in danger. Didn't they understand that?

He stood in the cell and listened to the silence. Perhaps, in the distance, through the heavy jail doors, there was a slight buzz from the main part of the station. Or maybe it was just a desperate hope that someone would soon come to tell him what was going on.

_I have to get out of here._

As he continued to pace anxiously, Shane's mind relived the scene at the house earlier. The silent cellblock was replaced with the echoes of Andrew's shouts. He felt the wet grass soaking his shirt and the bite of the handcuffs as they clamped shut around his wrists. He saw Andrew fighting to get free of Mike and then the vision shifted to Kim, watching, stricken, as he was dragged toward the side of the house. Shane stopped pacing and leaned against the iron bars. He closed his eyes and tried to shut his mind down. He did not want to hear Andrew any longer; he did not want to see those looks on Andrew's and Kim's faces.

For a moment, all was silent. Shane took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Once again, he saw the drab grey cell - grey walls, grey bars, grey bench, grey toilet. But at least it was silent.

From behind him, Shane heard the groaning of the heavy metal cellblock door opening. He turned and tried to peer down the hallway to see who was coming.

"Roman!" Shane felt a surge of relief as he saw his good friend. Roman would have some information. When Roman reached the cell, Shane asked, "Can you tell me what the bloody hell's going on?"

"I don't know anything official, Shane," Roman said. "Those FBI guys won't talk to any of us, and the AUSA told me that he can't reveal anything until officials from the ISA get here."

"The ISA?" Shane pushed himself away from the bars angrily. "What the devil's going on?" He spun away from Roman and began to pace again.

"It might have to do with this?"

Shane turned back around and saw the newspaper that Roman was poking through the bars. He could tell it was the same Salem Spectator he had looked at earlier. Confused, Shane wondered what the newspaper might contain that would have to do with his arrest.

"Page 3," Roman said, as Shane took the paper.

Shane opened the page and felt his chest constrict. "No," he whispered in disbelief.

But there it was. With a banner headline and full-page article, the whole story of the mission was spelled out in detail. Shane shook his head. He still did not want to believe it.

"If what you told me is true, partner, that's probably the reason," Roman said.

Shane was dumbfounded. _By Jack Devereaux_. He closed the paper and shook his head. _No. It just couldn't be._

"Shane?"

He held out the newspaper toward the bars and let Roman take it. Pacing again, Shane ran his hands through his hair.

"It had to be Steve who talked to Jack," Roman said.

_No,_ Shane thought. He shook his head. "Steve gave me his word. He wouldn't have done this."

Roman sounded exasperated. "Come on, partner."

_No. _"Steve gave me his word. It doesn't have to be him. It could've been any of the soldiers. Or that bloody tosser who runs the field office. . . ." Shane tried to convince himself that was more likely. "Roman, hell, it doesn't matter," Shane repeated. "You've got to make sure that Andrew and Kim are all right."

_I promised Andrew I was not going anywhere. How do I explain that to him_?

Shane faced Roman. "Whether it's Jericho or Lawrence . . . I can't protect them if I'm locked up in here."

"Nothing's gonna happen to them," Roman said. "I'll make sure of it."

That, at least, was a bit of a relief. Shane crossed the cell to the metal bench and sat down heavily. His mind returned to the events of the morning. In his head, he heard Andrew shouting again. Shane shut his eyes and tried to drown out the memory. When he opened his eyes, he could not even look at Roman. Instead, he stared down at his ink-stained hands. "They arrested me in front of Andrew," he said quietly. "They didn't even have the decency to wait until he was inside."

"Shane-"

"Do you have any idea what that feels like?" Shane asked, finally managing to look up. "To know your son's watching as they shove you face-down into the mud and shackle you?" Shane shook his head. "He's five-years-old, Roman. How am I ever going to explain this to him?"

Roman started to say something, then gave up and shrugged. "He'll get over it. Kid's are tougher than we think."

Shane doubted that. And he doubted that he would get over the shame and humiliation he felt at being forced to the ground while Andrew watched.

"But right now. . . ." Roman was still talking. "You've got to figure out what you're going to do to fight these charges."

_Fight these charges_. . . . Shane almost laughed at the thought. _ I don't even know what they are._

Shane did not say that. He stared down at his black fingers for a moment, before looking back up at Roman. "Tell Kim I'm okay and . . . just make sure they're safe." He looked down at his hands again and tried to ignore the helpless feeling that washed over him. "Just make sure my family's safe."


	200. Chapter 200

Ever since Kim's call, Kayla had been unable to focus. She kept hearing Kim, over and over, accusing Steve of trying to hurt Shane.

"She's wrong," Kayla said aloud, trying to suppress the niggling doubt that maybe Steve had let his anger at Shane turn destructive. _No_, Kayla couldn't believe it. Steve had told her he was not the one who talked to Jack. Steve wouldn't lie to her.

_Would he_?

Besides, it could not really be that big a deal. What had the article revealed? The ISA saved Steve. That was a good thing, not a reason for anyone to be arrested.

Except Kayla did not completely believe it. There was more going on. Shane had warned her and Kim to keep things secret. He had said he could get into a lot of trouble. So there had to be more to the story. But how was Kayla going to find out the truth?

_Roman_, she thought. _Roman will know._

Ten minutes later, Kayla was dropping Stephanie off at her folks, assuring them that it was very important and she would explain later. Five minutes after that, Kayla was in the hallway of the Salem PD, directly outside Roman's office.

"Sorry, Kayla, he's down in the cellblock." She turned to see Abe Carver approaching her.

"With Shane?" Kayla asked.

Abe nodded. "None of this makes sense, and they're not telling us a thing, but Roman seems to think it has something to do with the Spectator."

_That still doesn't make sense_, Kayla thought silently. _It's just a newspaper article. How could a newspaper article cause this much trouble_?

"Um . . . look. . . ." Abe's voice interrupted her thought. She looked back at him and saw him shift uncomfortably. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about the situation with Steve. He got so mad the other day that I don't even think he heard me when I told him it's really a matter of time. I just had some reason to think Steve's not ready."

_Because of Shane_, Kayla thought. "Maybe you should have considered your source a bit more," she said, bitterly, a harsh tone that surprised even her. Despite her reservations about Steve returning to the police force, she was still angry at how Steve had been treated - and even more at how it made him feel about himself. _Shane had no business saying anything._

Abe blanched, but did not respond. "Just let Steve know that we'll revisit things in a few months. And . . . knowing a bit more about what happened to him, maybe we can see if the department can help out. He was on the job when he disappeared."

Kayla had not thought about that; it was a good idea. She looked at Abe and softened her tone. "Thanks . . . for that, at least."

Probably recognizing that Kayla did not want to talk any more, Abe walked away, muttering something about seeing if he could find Roman. After he left, Kayla just leaned against the door of Roman's office and wondered why she was even there. She and Shane were no longer together. Steve was not responsible for the article. Steve would probably get jealous if he found out Kayla had come down here.

_But you're still here._

She was. She needed to know what was going on. Maybe there was some way she could help fix things. This had to be fixable.

"Hey, Sis." A fairly stone-faced Roman approached her. He stopped at the door, pulled out a key, and unlocked it. "You probably shouldn't be here."

"Why?" Kayla did not expect Roman to say that.

"Because there's nothing we can really tell you. Nobody's telling us anything."

"How's Shane?" she asked, as she followed him inside. "Abe said you were with him."

Roman shook his head. He reached his desk, turned, and leaned against it. "I can't really tell. He's reeling from everything, of course, but, mostly, he's worried about Kim and Andrew."

_Because Jericho might be out there_, Kayla thought. At least, that seemed to be what Kim thought when she had left the house the other day. Kayla couldn't believe this.

"It's got to be a mistake, Roman," she said. "I mean, what's the big deal about the article? This will all blow over."

Roman shook his head again. "I don't understand it, Kayla, but it's a big deal. Shane told me he could go to jail if word ever got out - and he told me that before he even left Salem."

"Wait . . . what do you mean?" Kayla did not follow him completely. "Shane knew he could go to jail before he rescued Steve?"

Roman looked at her, appearing equally confused. "He didn't tell you that? Yeah, I guess the ISA laid that all out when Shane was deciding whether to go after Steve."

_'Deciding whether to go after Steve_.' Kayla was puzzled. "You mean if Shane had stayed in Salem, and just let the ISA get Steve without him, he wouldn't be in jail right now?"

She did not like the look that crossed Roman's face. "Shane never explained this to you, Kay? Whoa. . . ." He looked at her sideways, like she was failing to understand something very important. "Kay . . . the ISA wasn't going to get Steve without Shane. It was all Shane's choice. That's why they told him the risks."

Kayla felt the air rush out of her lungs as she realized what Roman was saying. The ISA would have just left Steve in Lawrence's clutches. They would have left Steve to die. She felt the anger building inside of her.

_And Shane never told you._

_Steve would probably be dead if not for Shane._

_And I would have never known the truth._

_Why didn't Shane tell us that_?

"I need to see Shane," Kayla insisted.

"Sis-"

"No, Roman. I need to see him."

Roman scowled. "I don't think anyone's supposed to be seeing him."

"I don't care." Kayla gave her brother her most determined look - one that told him she would not be denied.

He shifted against the desk, but then threw up his hands. "I know you won't leave this office unless you get your way, and I don't have all day to argue with you. Come on."

Kayla followed Roman through the rabbit-warren of cubicles, desks, and file cabinets. They left the main area and went through a set of doors. "Aren't the cells on the other side?" Kayla asked. She remembered from when she had been arrested for Marina's murder.

"The FBI wanted Shane kept over here," Roman said. He reached a heavy metal door and unlocked it. "Just a couple of minutes, though."

Kayla stepped past the steel door and the thick cement walls. She spotted Shane immediately in the third cell from the door. The noise of the door opening must have gotten his attention; he was leaning against the cell bars in an attempt to see who had entered.

He appeared shocked to see her. "Kayla . . . what are you doing here?"

She reached the cell and looked at him closely. His hair was disheveled and his clothes looked like they were covered in grass-stains. She also saw the faint remnants of a bruise on the side of his face. Then Kayla reminded herself why she had demanded to see him.

"Why didn't you tell us?" she asked. "Why didn't you tell me, Shane?"

Shane stepped back from the bars. "Tell you what?"

"Don't play stupid with me," Kayla snapped. "Why didn't you tell me why nobody could find out about the rescue? And for god's sake, Shane, why didn't you tell me that the ISA would have left Steve there if you hadn't decided to take the mission."

Shane turned away, walked over to the bench, and sat down. "It doesn't matter," he said.

"Of course it matters." _How could he think it doesn't matter_? "We deserved to know. At least . . . you could've told me. I thought we were friends."

Kayla saw Shane look down at his hands. "Friends?" he asked, his voice low. "Such good friends that you don't even want me to say 'hi' to you at the lab. Or if I tell you I think Steve's being unreasonable, it's none of my business? That kind of 'friends.'"

"Shane. . . ." Kayla felt her face flush as she thought about how she had acted at the airport and with Julie. _But that's not the point_. "Don't change the subject," she snapped. "You could have told me in England or any other time."

"And what?" Shane snapped back. "You would've told Steve and he could've resented me and the ISA even more. How would he have felt if he knew the ISA was just going to leave him there? He was already angry about what happened between you and me; did he really need more of a reason to hate me? Because that's what would've happened if he felt like he 'owed me' for what I did? Thanks, but I've taken enough punches to the jaw as it is."

Kayla looked down. There was some truth to what Shane was saying; Steve probably would have been furious at Shane and the ISA if he had known the rescue was entirely Shane's decision. But at the same time, they had a right to know about Steve's rescue. They had a right to know that the ISA would have let Steve die.

"Look, Kay. . . . What does it matter?" Shane's tone had softened. "It doesn't matter now."

_No, I guess it doesn't_. "I do want you to know that it wasn't Steve who talked to Jack," Kayla said. "I asked him this morning when I saw the article."

"I'm glad to hear that," Shane said. He sounded sincere to Kayla. "I didn't think Steve would break his word."

"He didn't," Kayla said. "Though he had reason to be pretty furious with you after what you said to Abe." She knew it was probably the last thing Shane wanted to discuss right now, but she wanted answers. "Why did you sabotage him like that?"

Shane shook his head. "I didn't sabotage him. It wasn't like I wanted to talk about Steve to Abe, but he kept pushing. . . . And then he asked if I'd trust Steve with my life, and I felt like I had to answer."

"Why? You know you're not objective when it comes to Steve."

"Maybe you're right, but . . . you don't know what it's like to be in a life-and-death situation and have to depend on a partner. If your partner can't handle things, someone's going to get hurt. Remember Stockholm? Gillian wasn't capable of holding her own against Orpheus. He disarmed her and would have killed her. . . ."

Except Shane had pushed her out of the way and had been shot instead. Kayla could hardly forget how Shane had nearly bled to death on that pier that night.

Shane seemed to know what Kayla was thinking. "When Abe asked me, I thought about that night. And I thought about all the other cops out there and who might get killed if Steve went berserk like he did at Alamain's or at that bar."

"He's not crazy," Kayla said.

"I didn't say he was," Shane replied. "Kay . . . Steve's not ready to be a cop again. I know what Lawrence's people did to him." To Kayla's eyes, Shane appeared to shudder slightly. "He's not going to get over that in a few weeks. If you put him out on the streets right now . . . He's not ready. He could do something that gets himself killed - or someone else. Think about that. It could be someone like Roman diving in front of a bullet, someone you care about."

_That's not Steve_, Kayla said to herself. _Steve would never put anyone in jeopardy_.

_Except himself._

That was not fair. Kayla had faith in her husband and she started to object, but she was interrupted by loud voices coming from just outside the cellblock door. It sounded like Roman was arguing with someone. An instant later, the door opened and two dark-suited men stormed toward her.

"The prisoner's to have no visitors," one of the men said, his voice mid-way between a snarl and a shout. He grabbed Kayla's arm roughly and started pulling her to the door.

"Hey!" she shouted back. She could hear Shane and Roman each yelling as well.

Roman charged forward. "Let go of her," he said, forcing his way in between the man and her. He freed Kayla's arm and looked the man directly in the eye. "It's my fault. I didn't know about the 'no visitors' rule."

The man seemed to relent. "Fine . . . you know it now. Just get her out of here, and don't let anyone into this cellblock. It's off-limits until the ISA officials arrive from Washington." Kayla looked at the man, who was glaring at Roman. "You got that, Commander? No visitors at all."

"What about my lawyer?" Shane demanded. "I have a right to see a lawyer."

Neither of the dark-suited men responded as they escorted Kayla and Roman away from Shane's cell. They reached the door and the men closed it shut.

"No visitors," the man told Roman again.

"What about his lawyer?" Roman asked. "He should be here any minute."

Kayla turned to see the agent cross his arms and lean against the cellblock door. "No visitors until Chief Tarrington gets here. Besides, it's not like there's anything a lawyer can do for him."

The certainty in the man's words and his tone sent a river of ice running down Kayla's spine. She glanced at Roman, who put an arm around her and led her away from the door. The two men remained behind.

"Roman," she whispered. "What does that mean?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure, Sis, but I think it means Shane's in serious trouble."


	201. Chapter 201

Steve wandered along the pier, lost in thought. He still had the newspaper tucked under his arm, but he did not need to read the article again. He was replaying every moment contained within it in his mind.

He could see the dark and dingy room he had been held in. He could hear the shouts of the guards. He had memorized every sound that filtered into his room over the weeks he had been held in the compound and could tell that these shouts were different. Something was happening.

Then he heard the gunfire and explosions. The room - no, the entire building - had shook and Steve had been sure that it was only a matter of time before he would be killed.

Steve could feel himself being dragged back into that nightmare. He could smell the filth of the room and smoke from the explosions outside. He forced himself to take several slow, deep breaths and focus on the water and the feel of the solid wood of the pier underneath his feet.

After a few moments, his heart rate slowed and smells disappeared. He reminded himself that he was remembering what happened, not reliving it. He forced himself to continue, and remembered that he had crouched against the far wall as the shouts and gunfire had moved inside the building. He could hear his captors screaming in their own language. An explosion just on the other side of the door jolted him even further.

Then the door had burst open and Shane had entered, though Steve did not realize it at the time. It was funny, Steve thought. He had never considered the fact that he might be rescued. From the moment the raid had started, he had simply assumed that whatever was going on would only result in more pain for him. Or maybe a final release from his months of torment.

So he had shrunk back when Shane had entered the room. It had taken awhile for Steve to understand that it was Shane. Thinking back, he wasn't even sure he believed it until he saw Shane in the military hospital the following day.

Other than the moment where Deakins was shot, the remainder of the rescue was still a bit of a blur. Maybe that was because the article was light on those details as well. All it said was that the group had escaped by helicopter and been taken to a military base on Cyprus. Steve had a vague recollection of being on the helicopter. He did, however, have a clear recollection of the doctors on the military base and the way they had tied him down.

Steve shook his head and cleared his thoughts again. It was over and he was home. _Thanks to Shane_. The thought came unbidden and unwelcomed. He honestly did not know how to reconcile Shane's participation in his rescue with all that had happened since.

He took a seat on a nearby bench and opened the paper to the article. He saw Jack's byline and shook his head again. He remembered how Kayla had been surprised when he had told her that he had not been the one who had talked to Jack. He supposed he could hardly blame her. She probably would not be the last person to ask him that question.

But it simply was not true. After all, he had not talked to Jack since the day Jack had stopped by the apartment. Steve had told Jack not to do the story and he had agreed. _'Don't push it_,' Steve had said. That was more than a week ago.

Then Steve remembered. Kayla said Jack had brought him home from the Cheating Heart the other night. Steve remembered dimly Jack sitting down. _But there's no way I said anything. I was too far gone to remember my name, let alone what happened with the ISA._

_I'm just not responsible_.

Steve knew himself. He had given Shane his word. As stupid as this whole secrecy thing was, Steve was true to his word.

But someone had talked. And Jack had pursued the story even though Steve said not to. After Steve had said that his life was not for public consumption. But Jack couldn't leave well enough alone.

Steve felt his anger stirring a bit. Even if he did not give a damn about ISA secrecy, he did not want all of Salem knowing that he had been locked up for months in a closet and tortured. Now, whenever he went into a store or a restaurant, that's what people would think. And what about his future? Who was going to want to hire him now? Steve doubted Abe Carver would give him a chance.

_Maybe I need to tell Jack what 'don't push it' really means._

Steve stood and walked quickly up the steps of the pier to where his car was parked. Within a few minutes he was pulling into the Spectator parking lot. He walked inside and went directly to Jack's office, ignoring the looks from the employees as he stormed through. He opened the door to Jack's office and walked in without knocking.

But Jack was not there. Steve yelled Jack's name, hoping he was in the adjoining bathroom, but got no response. Steve walked over to Jack's desk. He could see the papers strewn about the desk and spotted one with the words "_Johnson rescue - 9/12/91 draft_" written across the top in Jack's handwriting. Steve picked it up.

It appeared to be a draft of the article that had appeared in the paper. He was about to put it down when he saw a notation. "_Check quote on tape._"

Steve put the paper down and rifled around the desk some more. Just to the right, under some loose pages, he saw a mini tape recorder. It was silver and surprisingly small.

He felt a flash of unease, but he grabbed the tape recorder and pushed the play button. Now he would find out who talked to Jack.

"-where. The building where I was being kept was just a trailer and it rocked with all the explosions."

Steve froze.

_"where I was being kept. . . ._"

The voice was his own. Slurred words. Drunk. But it was him.

"So then Donovan dragged me out of that room." His slurred voice came through. Steve could hear noise, even music, in the background. "I wasn't pretty to look at, that's for sure. Half-starved and all beat up."

Steve snapped the tape recorder off. In his mind's eye, he had an image of Jack pulling something from his pocket. Was it silver?

_I gave Shane my word._

Steve took a deep breath. _I'm going to kill Jack._ There was no question now that his brother had secretly recorded Steve's drunken rambling at the Heart, and had used that information to write the article. He remembered how Jack had told him that the paper was in trouble and how he needed a big story. _I guess he got that story after all_, Steve thought bitterly.

Shoving the tape recorder in his pocket, Steve stormed out of the office and ran smack into Vern Scofield.

"Steve," Vern said, glancing around. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for Jack." Steve's voice was low and angry. "You know where he might be?"

"Umm . . . no . . . I don't know where he is."

"Well, when you see him, tell him his brother is looking for him and wants to talk to him immediately." Steve glared at Vern. "You got that?"

"Sure thing," Vern replied quickly. "I'll tell him as soon as I see him."

Steve gave a short nod and stormed off again. His little brother had a lot of explaining to do.


	202. Chapter 202

It took Kim a lot longer to get to the police station than she had planned. After taking a few minutes to suppress her anger over the call with Kayla, Kim had tried locating Mickey Horton. Unfortunately, he was not at home when she called, so she had to wait until he reached the office before she could talk to him. He had told her he would head to the Salem PD and meet her there.

She had wanted to leave right away, but then she remembered Andrew. Mike had taken him to the library, so she had joined them in there. She had done her best to convince Andrew that Daddy was not hurt, that it was all a misunderstanding, and she was sure that Daddy would be coming home soon.

If only she truly believed that.

Andrew had been unconvinced, but had mainly just sat silently. Finally, Kim had decided she could not stay with him; she had to find out what was going on. Thankfully, Mike said he would stay with Andrew - and he assured her that he was going nowhere until Shane returned home.

"Kim!"

She was surprised to hear her sister's voice and looked up the stairs to the front entrance of the Salem PD. Kayla was just passing through the front doors, obviously leaving. She looked distressed.

Kim rushed forward. "Kayla, what are you doing here?" The words came out before she realized and her tone was much harsher than she intended. But she could not stop her suspicions. Kayla had been at home just a little earlier - defending Steve. Why had she rushed to the station?

"I talked to Roman - and Shane," Kayla said. "Why didn't you tell me? I'm your sister, Kim. Why didn't you tell me the truth?"

"The truth?" Kim was befuddled. What was Kayla talking about?

"About Shane's mission. You knew, didn't you?" Kayla's voice rose. "You knew the ISA would've left Steve there. Why didn't you tell me?"

_That's what she's upset about_? _She's upset at me_?_ After she defended Steve_? Kim shook her head and said, sharply, "I'm not going to discuss this now. I need to see Shane." She started to push past Kayla. "I need to see if we can undo some of the damage Steve did."

Kayla grabbed her arm. "I told you. Steve didn't do anything."

"Let go of me." Kim pulled her arm free. "Go ahead, Kay. Convince yourself that it's all a coincidence that it's Jack who wrote the article. And it happened after Steve and Shane have been at each other's throats for the past few weeks. I'm sure it has nothing to do with Steve. And, hell, even he did tell Jack, you probably think it's just fine because he doesn't owe Shane anything. Just his life, his freedom, and his family. Why should you care that Shane put those very same things on the line for Steve? As long as you're happy, nothing else matters."

Kayla stepped back, her eyes wide. She took a deep breath. "I'm going to do my best to pretend you didn't just say that, Kim . . . because I know you're upset. Steve didn't have anything to do with Jack's article."

Kim did not believe that for a second, but she was not going to argue with Kayla. She had more important things to deal with, so she turned and started for the doors again. "I'm going inside to see Shane."

"They won't let you see him," Kayla said.

"What do you mean?" Kim spun back around. "You said you'd talked to him." Kim was sure she had heard that.

Kayla nodded. "I did, but then these men from the FBI came in and said Shane can't see anyone until the ISA gets here."

"And when's that going to be?" Kim asked. When Kayla shook her head, Kim felt another surge of anger. _She saw Shane, but they won't let me_? Kim was not going to accept that. Angrily, she spun away, raced up the stairs, and left Kayla behind.

Once inside, the first person Kim saw that she recognized was Mickey Horton. "Mickey," she called out, rushing toward him. "Have you seen Shane?"

"Kim." He hesitated, before he stepped toward her and took her arm. "They're not letting anyone see Shane."

"But you're his lawyer," she said. "How can they prevent you from seeing him?"

"They say Shane can't see anyone until Chief Tarrington gets here, and that won't be until late tonight or tomorrow." Mickey glared over at the front desk. "I've been arguing with the desk clerk and trying to find Roman, but the clerk said he left just before I got here."

"But Kayla said she saw him - and she saw Shane." Kim was growing even more furious. "If Roman's not here, where's Abe? He'll get us in."

"He can't. I already talked to him and the Assistant U.S. Attorney. The FBI has Shane in lockdown." Mickey sounded equally exasperated. "At least he knows not to talk to anyone without a lawyer present and they won't question him without me there. So for now, it seems like we just have to wait."

Kim shook her head. "No . . . That's not right. Shane needs to come home. Mickey, they dragged him out of there while Andrew was watching. If Shane doesn't come home today, how am I going to. . . ."

_How am I going to explain things to my son_?

_How am I going to keep him safe from Jericho_?

Mickey sighed, and led Kim over to a bench near the doors. Unconsciously, she followed and took a seat.

"Kim, Shane's not getting out today," Mickey said. "There won't be an arraignment until Monday."

_But it's only Friday_, Kim thought. She looked at him. "They can't just keep him here all weekend."

"They can," Mickey said, evenly. "They don't have to hold the arraignment until Monday, so that's when it will be."

Kim felt her chest constrict. _This is so wrong_. _He shouldn't be here even for one night. _She looked back at Mickey, but she could tell there was nothing he could do. "What else do you know?"

"That's about it, right now. The AUSA, Lewis Pasqua, wouldn't even tell me what they're charging Shane with. . . . He said he needs to consult with the ISA."

"And that's Chief Tarrington? He's coming here? Personally?" Kim asked.

"That's right."

"He's Shane's friend," she said. Tarrington had known Shane his entire career. "He'll sort out this mess. He's not going to leave Shane twisting in the wind. I mean it's just an article in a local newspaper."

She could tell that Mickey looked dubious, but then he nodded. "I hope you're right."

"You don't think so?" Kim felt a chill.

"None of this makes sense, Kim," he said. "I wish it did, but if what you said on the phone earlier about the Spectator being the reason . . . well, I've never heard of anything like this. But Pasqua said everything's coming direct from Washington, so-"

"So somebody thinks this is a big deal." Kim finished Mickey's sentence for him. She looked away and stared mutely across the station. She felt completely drained emotionally. In a flat voice, she finally said, "This can't be happening. I can't lose him."

She felt Mickey's arm wrap around her shoulder and he gave her a comforting squeeze. "Don't do this to yourself, Kim. We don't know anything right now and there's no point trying to guess what might happen." She looked up at him, feeling numb. "Go home, Kim. Your family needs you. Go home and be with them, and I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Kim knew he was right. There was nothing she was going to find out right now, but Mickey didn't understand. She had no family without Shane. Her family - her life - could never be complete without him.


	203. Chapter 203

Thank you for the reviews and feedback. The comments are appreciated and have been very helpful.

A couple of people have asked about Eve. It has been a while since she was mentioned, but she is with Frankie in Africa. (On the show, she left Salem with Frankie in the summer of 1991, so the story sticks to that.) She has not appeared in the story, but there was some discussion of her leaving Salem during the Donovan Manor sequence and Shane saw her and Frankie in London. In fact, her leaving was part of Shane's impetus for getting drunk on the day he returned home and had his encounter with Kim in the Donovan Manor sitting room.

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Steve had nearly reached his car in the Spectator parking lot when he heard a shout behind him.

"Johnson!"

Steve turned to find Roman walking briskly towards him. He stopped at his car, wondering what Roman was doing there. _Probably looking for Jack, just like I am_, Steve thought guiltily.

Before Steve could speak, Roman shoved Steve against the door of the car. "You just couldn't resist could you?"

"What the hell is your problem, Roman?" Steve choked, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him.

"Right now, you're my problem, Johnson," Roman yelled. "You gave the story to Jack, didn't you? Did you come back to see if you could get a proper byline or something?"

Steve shoved Roman away from him. "Get away from me." Roman's attack was causing Steve's guilt to be rapidly replaced with anger.

"Are you going to deny that you talked to Jack?" Roman snapped.

"Even if I did, what the hell business is it of yours?" Steve snapped right back. "Since when is it a crime for the ISA to rescue somebody?"

Roman glared at Steve. "It became my business when federal agents hauled Shane Donovan into my jail."

"What?" Steve was shocked. "Why the hell would they arrest Donovan?"

Roman scoffed. "Gee, I don't know. Maybe because a secret ISA mission is now front-page news. Thanks to you and your brother."

"You mean the ISA thinks Donovan is the one who talked?" Steve choked back a laugh at that idea. "What's the big deal, Roman? Shane didn't talk and they won't be able to prove he did. Mickey Horton will have this whole thing cleared up in no time."

"You really think it's that simple, don't you, Johnson?" Roman's words dripped with condescension.

"Why not?" Steve asked, genuinely confused. "Jack's article makes Shane out to be some kind of hero. Hell . . . he'll probably get a medal when all is said and done."

Once again Steve found himself shoved up against the side of his car. "You have no idea what you're talking about - as usual," Roman growled. "Thanks to you, Shane might be looking at a long prison sentence."

Steve had had about enough of Roman's accusations and insults. "Why the hell would Shane be going to prison? He went on an ISA mission. They might not like it being publicized, but so what? I don't like a lot of things the ISA does either."

"You really don't know, do you?" Roman's voice was a bit calmer now. "I know Shane never told Kayla, but I thought he must have told you."

"Told me what?" Steve demanded to know.

Roman took a deep breath. "Shane didn't go on an 'ISA mission' when he rescued you."

Steve looked at Roman like he was crazy. "You don't know what you're talking about, Roman. I was there. There were a bunch of soldiers and helicopters. Shane sure as hell didn't rustle up those on his own."

"Just because he had support doesn't mean it was an official ISA mission." Roman raised his brow. "You understand what I'm telling you?"

_Do I understand_? For a moment, Steve thought the answer was no. But then it began to sink in. Steve sagged against the car. "You're saying that, as far as the ISA is concerned, my rescue never happened."

"Good, Johnson. It's finally getting through." Roman shook his head. "Shane told me before he left that this whole thing was - how did he put it - 'officially unofficial.' And, if word got out, he could get into a lot of trouble, including going to jail."

_Why the hell didn't he ever bother to tell me that_? Steve asked himself. Then another thought struck Steve.

"Wait. . . . So Mr. 'by-the-book' ISA man risked going to jail to do this 'unofficial' mission? That doesn't sound like Donovan. Maybe some of his ISA cronies, but not Shane."

"You don't get it, Johnson." Roman looked at him as if in disbelief. "The mission was Shane's. Nobody else's."

Steve thought he was starting to understand what Roman was not saying. "So what would have happened if Shane didn't agree to go in under those terms?" he asked quietly, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"There would've been no rescue." Roman put his hand on Steve's shoulder. "The only reason you got out is because Shane chose to take the risk."

Steve felt the air catch in his throat, almost as if he had been punched in the gut. It took a moment for it all to process, before he could nod and what Roman had said. A million thoughts ran through Steve's head right now, but one dominated - the ISA was going to leave him in that hellhole. If not for Shane, Steve would have died in that place without the ISA lifting a finger.

"I . . . I didn't know, Roman." Steve said quietly. "I swear I didn't know. Shane didn't tell me anything except that it needed to be kept secret."

"That should have been enough," Roman said, the anger returning to his voice. "But you told Jack anyway. I know you and Shane have had your share of run-ins lately, but I never thought you'd break your word like that. Hell, even Shane thinks it wasn't you because you promised him you wouldn't say anything."

Steve started to explain to Roman. He was drunk; he didn't know Jack was recording the conversation. But he knew it didn't matter. Roman wouldn't understand why. All that mattered is that Steve had screwed up - again.

"I guess you were both wrong." Steve said. His words were flat and emotionless. There was no explaining this.

"Not just us, partner," Roman replied harshly. "Kayla was down at the police station defending you to Shane not that long ago." He glared at Steve again. "How's it feel to make a fool of your own wife?"

Steve did not respond. He just opened the car door, got in, and drove away. As he drove back to the apartment, he wondered if his worst fear had finally come true. Maybe this would be the mistake that Kayla wouldn't understand.


	204. Chapter 204

Kim felt numb as she turned down the street toward Shane's house and saw a couple of vans emblazoned with the logos of the local news stations. Some cameramen and a group of other people were clustered by the driveway.

_Vultures_, she thought, remembering how they had thronged the house when Shane had "died." She honked her horn and turned into the driveway, ignoring the cameras that filmed her passing by.

The reporters crowded around her, as she tried to get out of the car. "Let me by," she cried.

A microphone was shoved in her face. "Mrs. Donovan, what do you know about your ex-husband's arrest?" Kim ignored the question.

"CNN is reporting that the State Department has disavowed that Captain Donovan was on an official ISA mission," said another reporter. "Do you have a response?" Kim ignored that one too.

"Kimberly. . . . What's your view on Shane being arrested for saving your brother-in-law?"

That voice Kim recognized. She spun around to see Jack Deveraux standing a few feet away.

"How dare you," she stammered. "How dare you show up here. Didn't you and your brother do enough damage?"

Jack stepped back, but could not escape her wrath. The other reporters hemmed him in.

"Kim-"

"No, Jack. Shane went to bat for Jennifer with Lawrence, and he got you off that island last year. And this is how you repay him?" Kim stepped close. "I hope you feel proud of yourself. You got your story. But was it really worth ruining a man's life?"

"Kim . . . I didn't know what would happen." For a moment, Jack sounded sincere, but that hardly mollified Kim.

"I'm sure," she said, angrily. "But you're perfectly happy to take advantage of it. Now you've got an even bigger story, don't you?" She glared at all of the reporters. "Get out of here. This is private property."

In the back of her mind, she wondered where the ISA was. For the past few weeks, there had been ISA agents in front and back of the property. Had they-

_Oh my god_, she realized. _They've left. They abandoned us. _

The reporters were not moving. If anything, they were pressing even closer. "Get away," she screamed. "Get out of here."

"Mrs. Donovan!"

"What do you think-"

"Did you see-"

The voices were overwhelming and she shrunk back against the car.

"You heard the lady," barked a man's voice. Someone grabbed her by the arm and began pulling her away, clearing a path through the reporters to the door. A moment later, she was inside the house. Simmons was saying something and she looked to her right to see Mike, still holding her arm.

"Are you okay, Ma'am?" he asked, as Simmons announced her would fix some tea.

It took her a moment to catch her breath. "I . . . I didn't expect that."

Mike let go of her arm and turned to the door. "I'm sorry," he said. "If I'd known you were returning, I would've been out there."

"I thought the ISA was guarding the house." Kim said that, even though she knew what Mike would say even before he did.

"They pulled out after you left," he explained. "Said they got orders from Washington that all units on the house were being recalled and reassigned."

Kim felt sick and she looked down at her hands. _After everything Shane did for the ISA_. . . . She looked up at Mike again, who was staring carefully at the front door. "I can understand if you don't want to stay. You didn't bargain for this."

"I have a job here, Ma'am. I don't know exactly what's going on, but I'm not going anywhere until Captain Donovan relieves me."

As reassuring as it sounded, there was so much wrong with that statement that Kim almost did not know where to begin. "For one, I don't think Shane's going to be 'Captain Donovan' any longer. For two, he won't be arraigned until Monday."

Mike seemed to think for a moment then shrugged. "You must have a sleeping bag or two in this place."

Kim smiled, blinking back some appreciative tears. That had been the most expressive Mike had ever been around her. "Thank you."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Where's Andrew?" she asked.

"Master Andrew is watching television in the back, Madame," Simmons said, returning with a cup of tea. "I hope you don't mind that I told his tutor it probably was better to skip instruction today. She actually volunteered to take phone messages from everyone who's been calling."

Kim took the cup from Simmons. The phone had probably been ringing all morning. News traveled fast in Salem. Almost as if on cue, she heard a distant ringing and then realized that Simmons had probably turned off the ringer on the phone in this room. "And where's Jeannie?"

"She was with the nanny the last time I checked," Mike said.

"Thank you, both. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Mike stood up. "I'll see about making sure the reporters move away from the house. I also called the police and spoke with a Detective Carver. He said he'd send some officers over." He turned and walked away.

Kim sipped at her tea, then realized Simmons was still watching her. She looked over at him, and realized he probably wanted to know about Shane. Sometimes, she forgot that Simmons had been more than just a servant in Shane's house. He had been a constant in Shane's life since his childhood and, after Shane's parents died, Simmons had been the only other person living at Donovan Manor. He was almost as much Shane's family as anyone else.

"I don't really know anything," she said. "They wouldn't even let me see him. We probably won't know anything until tomorrow."

Simmons frowned slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Me too, Simmons."

"If there's anything I can do-"

"Thank you, but I don't think there's much anyone can do until we know some more." Kim set down her cup and stood up. "I'm going to check on Andrew. I need to see how he's doing."

"Yes, Ma'am." Simmons stepped back toward the door. "I'll go through the phone messages and separate out the reporters from friends and family."

For a few moments, Kim stood in the silent library and stared around the room. The silence reminded her of that terrible time after the mountain explosion when she was all alone, trying to figure out how to hold her family together after Shane's "death."

_Shane's not dead_, she told herself. _He's not hurt and this all will turn out okay_. She wished she felt reassured by those thoughts, but she had to convince herself that everything was going to be okay. She had Andrew and Jeannie to worry about.

Leaving the library, Kim made her way down the hallway, passed the kitchen, and found her way to the den. Andrew was sitting on the couch in the dark, wood-paneled room, watching a video. He looked up at her as she entered, then made a point of looking back at the television where the ninja turtles were in the middle of yet-another battle.

She walked toward him and took a seat on the couch. "Andrew, sweetie. . . ."

He refused to look at her.

She reached for the TV remote, noticing that he did not fight her for control of it. Years of working with children told her that meant he wanted to talk, even if he acted like he did not. She studied her son for a moment before she stopped the program.

Andrew reminded her so much of Shane. It wasn't just his looks. He also had many of his father's mannerisms. The way he might cock his head or narrow his eyes in response to something you said. Or the way he would grow stone-faced when he tried to act like nothing was bothering him. The similarities did not end there. Andrew was smart like his father. She could see the way he noticed things that a lot of children his age might miss.

Also, her son shared his father's love for adventure and was fearless. She had learned that last summer when he fought a much-older boy for insulting Shawn. Unmindful of how he might be hurt, Andrew had stood up to the boy - and had later treated his resulting black eye with a sense of pride. It also had been Andrew who had thought it would be a grand adventure to play hide-and-seek with Shawn Douglas in the oil refinery construction site.

But for all his fearlessness, Andrew was still just a boy. A little boy who worshiped his father.

They sat in silence for a while, before Andrew asked, "Is Daddy coming home?"

"Not today, sweetie," Kim said. "He'll be away for a few days." At Andrew's harsh scowl, Kim asked, "Andrew . . . what happened this morning . . . I know it's hard for you to understand, but Daddy didn't do anything wrong. What's happening is all because Daddy tried to help Uncle Steve."

Andrew looked at her. "Daddy said the bad men wouldn't take him away."

She felt her heart tighten. _How do I explain_? "Daddy's going to do everything to be with-" She almost said "us," but caught herself. "With you. There's nothing more important than being with you. He loves you more than anything."

"Then why did he let them take him? Why didn't he fight them?"

_Because the real world is not like a cartoon_, Kim thought. "Oh, honey," she smiled sadly and tried to hug him.

"No!" Andrew yelled, as he jerked away. "Daddy said he wouldn't let them take him! He promised!"

"Andrew." Kim realized she was almost pleading with him to listen. "It's not like that."

Andrew shook his head and jumped off the couch. "I don't believe you," he yelled. "I don't believe you or Daddy." Before Kim could reach him, he spun around and ran out of the room.

"Andrew!" she shouted as he raced away, but he did not stop. She followed as fast as she could, but she only heard his footsteps as he ran down the hallway. She turned the corner and saw him opening the front door. _Oh god, if the reporters see him_. Kim rushed forward, crying, "Andrew," just as he opened the door.

And ran smack into Bo.

"Whoa there, kiddo . . . . where do you think you're going?" Before Andrew could react, Bo picked him off the ground, stepped inside, and closed the door tight behind him. He looked at Kim and took in the obviously distraught look on her face. "Guess I don't need to ask how things are going around here." He smiled softly and held out his free arm. "Come here, Kimber. Looks like you and the boss man here could use a little help from Uncle Bo. Good thing's the cavalry's arrived."

He had no idea, she thought, as she fell into his arms. He held her tight and she heard him murmuring. "It's okay, sis. Everything's going to be okay."


	205. Chapter 205

Kayla entered the apartment and immediately called for Steve. It only took a few seconds to realize that he had not returned.

Sighing she sank to the couch, her mind still reeling from the information she had received from Roman and Shane. _The ISA would have left Steve there_. That one thought kept repeating in her mind.

Kayla had been under no illusions regarding the ISA's willingness to use dubious methods to accomplish its missions. They had kidnapped Marlena, had lied to Kim about Shane, and had used Kim to get close to Lawrence just for starters.

But, somehow, she had always believed that they were at least on the right side. After all, Shane was a high-ranking member of the agency and she knew he was a good man. She had a hard time believing that he would continue to work for an organization that would have left Steve to die.

But she was obviously wrong. And maybe Shane was not so innocent. After all, Shane had left Roman in Stefano's hands when he chose to rescue Drew instead. Roman's words echoed in her ears. "_The ISA wasn't going to get Steve without Shane. It was all Shane's choice_." Shane's choice. She knew she should be grateful that Shane had agreed to take the mission and she was. She even recalled Shane telling her in England that if she thought it was a hard choice, she didn't know him at all. But she couldn't help but wonder if Shane had not taken the risk, would he have ever told her the truth? Maybe this would have been like Roman and Shane would have kept it secret - would have kept her entirely in the dark.

Could she have possibly been so wrong about Shane? No, she told herself. Shane was a good man. The fact that he had gone after Steve despite the risks proved that. But Shane continued to work for the same agency that would have left Steve to die. Kayla had no idea how to reconcile those two facts.

The sound of a key in the lock shook Kayla from her thoughts. She looked up as Steve walked in the door.

"Steve," she said quickly. "I'm so glad you're home."

Steve looked at her with a serious expression. "You might not feel that way in a few minutes, Kayla."

"What are you talking about?" Kayla asked, confused by Steve's tone and demeanor.

Steve slowly walked across the room and sat on the couch, leaving some distance between them. He ran his hands over his face and then unconsciously adjusted his patch.

"Steve? What is it?" Kayla could tell there some was something Steve was reluctant to tell her. Then it hit her. He must have heard about Shane's arrest. He was probably trying to find a way to tell her.

"You heard, didn't you?" Kayla said. "You know Shane's been arrested."

"Yeah, I know, baby." Steve's tone was flat.

"How did you find out?" Kayla asked, still trying to understand her husband's reactions.

"I . . . uh . . . I ran into Roman a little while ago." Steve shifted uncomfortably. "He told me about it."

Now it was starting to make sense, Kayla thought to herself. "He blamed you for the article, didn't he?" Kayla asked quietly.

"You could say that," Steve replied, looking down. "Kayla, I-"

"He shouldn't have done that," Kayla interrupted. She stood up from the couch and paced around trying to keep her anger from getting the better of her. "He had no right to accuse you of anything. He's no better than Kim."

"Kim?" Steve asked.

"Yes, Kim." Kayla let her frustration pour out. "She called not too long after you left and told me about Shane being arrested, that she was sure it was related to the article, and that she was sure you had deliberately tried to destroy Shane's life." Kayla looked at Steve. "Can you believe that? She wouldn't even back off after I told her you said you hadn't talked to Jack? She was out of control and-"

"Stop, Kayla!" Steve nearly shouted. "Just stop."

"Stop what?" Kayla's eyes were wide with surprise. "Kim had no right to say the things she did."

"Stop defending me, Kayla." Steve hung his head for a moment, then looked up at Kayla. She could read the anguish and guilt in his eye.

"What are you trying to say, Steve?" Kayla's throat constricted in fear of what the answer to her question might be.

"I'm the one who gave the information to Jack." Steve stood and walked to the other side of the room. "I'm the one responsible for Shane's arrest."

Kayla felt the air leave her body. She walked a few steps and again sank into the couch. _How is that possible_? She had defended Steve to Kim and to Shane. She had been so certain that he had been truthful when he said he didn't talk to Jack. Could she have possibly been that wrong?

"Kayla?" Steve's voice was timid and uncertain.

"Why did you lie to me, Steve?" Kayla looked at her husband. "Why did you tell me it wasn't you when I asked you this morning?"

"I didn't know." Steve looked deeply into Kayla's eyes. "I swear I didn't know. When you asked me this morning, I honestly had no idea it was me."

Kayla's confusion returned. "That doesn't make any sense. How could you not have known? And if you didn't know a couple of hours ago, then how do you know now?"

"Because of this." Steve pulled a small object from his jacket and walked over to Kayla. He held the object out and she could see it was a small tape recorder.

"Go ahead," Steve said handing the recorder to her. "Listen to it."

Kayla took the recorder from Steve and pressed the play button. She immediately heard Steve's slurred voice talking about how the explosions had shook the trailer he was being held in. She could also hear music and other background noise. She gave Steve a questioning look.

"It was the night Jack picked me up from the Heart." Steve sat down on the couch again, still keeping distance between he and Kayla. "I told you I didn't remember Jack being there and, even now, I still don't."

"How did you get this?" Kayla asked, staring at the recorder.

"After I left here, I walked around for a while, just thinking about everything that had happened. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I was with Jack for putting my life in his newspaper. I decided to pay him a visit and find out who talked and let him know I didn't appreciate it." Steve took the recorder back from Kayla. "Jack wasn't there. But this was."

Kayla leaned back on the couch, trying to understand everything Steve was telling her. "Why would Jack do this?"

"Why does Jack do anything he does?" Steve snapped. He took a deep breath before continuing. "He came by the apartment a few weeks ago. He said he just wanted to say hi, but it was clear he was fishing for information. When I called him on it, he said the paper was in trouble and he needed a big story. I guess he got it after all." Steve voice was filled with bitterness.

They sat silently on the couch for a few moments. Then Kayla felt Steve's hand take hers. She looked at him.

"I swear that I didn't know, Kayla. Please believe me, baby. I had no idea it was me until I heard this tape."

Kayla looked into Steve's eye. Just as she had known that morning that he was telling the truth, she knew it now. "I do believe you, Steve." She squeezed his hand. "I just can't believe this is happening." Then another thought occurred to her.

"Did Roman tell you about the ISA?" _About how they would have left you to die_?

"Yeah, baby, he told me." Steve hung his head again. "I didn't know that either, Kayla. I didn't know that the rescue mission was an 'unofficial' mission or whatever they're calling it." He looked at Kayla again. "Shane never told me -"

"He never told you the ISA was going to leave you there," Kayla finished the sentence, her anger returning. "He never told me either. After everything you did for them in the Jericho case, they were just going to leave you there . . . if-"

"If Shane hadn't taken the mission." Steve finished Kayla's sentence this time. "And now I've thanked him for that by putting him in jail."

"You didn't mean for it to happen, Steve," Kayla said quietly.

"Do you believe that, Kayla?" Steve asked. His question was tentative, as if he feared the response. "I need to know if you believe that or if you're just saying it because you think you have to support your husband."

Kayla was silent for a moment. She was sure that Steve had no memory of talking to Jack, but she knew how angry Steve had been at Shane over the police job. Did she think he had deliberately given the story to Jack?

"I do believe it, Steve," she said honestly. "I know that you would have never intended for Shane to get in this kind of trouble." She paused for a moment, then continued. "But you were so mad at Shane that night. Are you sure this wasn't just a way to pay him back? I know you didn't know he'd be arrested, but you knew the story could cause trouble for him."

It was Steve's turn to be silent. He rubbed his hand across his face and then stared down at his lap for a few moments. Finally he lifted his head and looked at Kayla. "I don't know how to answer that question, Sweetness. I don't remember anything that happened that night. But if I'd wanted to hurt Shane, I could've given Jack the story weeks ago and didn't." He sighed. "I know I didn't want this to happen. I know that much."

"I know," Kayla said softly. "You were drunk and you made a mistake, but Jack took advantage of the situation."

"I think you might be the only one who will believe that," Steve replied. "Roman doesn't and, from what you said, neither will Kim." He sighed again. "And I'm sure Shane won't believe it either. Not that I guess I can blame him."

Kayla reached out and took Steve's hand. She hated the idea that there was going to be more conflict in her family, but it looked unavoidable at this point. She knew she should call Kim and let her know the truth. Kim deserved that much. But her sister had made a lot of harsh accusations about Steve, and had said things that Kayla could not easily forget. Even if she was right about Steve talking to Jack, Kim had been wrong about a lot of other things. Kayla had no desire to face Kim's anger and accusations yet again. At least not right now. Maybe Kim would cool off when Shane got out of jail.

"We'll just have to deal with that as it comes," Kayla said. "It sounds like Shane will be arraigned on Monday. Maybe you can talk to him after he posts bail and goes home." She gave Steve a determined look. "We'll just have to try and make everybody understand it was a big mistake. And no matter what they think, I do believe you and I will be with you every step of the way. Just remember that."

"I could never forget it, Sweetness." Steve gave Kayla a sad smile. "Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me going." Then Steve sat up a little straighter and a note of determination entered his voice. "I am going to fix this, Kayla." "I don't know exactly how just yet, but I'm going to try to explain things to Shane. And, after that . . . I'm going to figure out how to make this right." He took Kayla's hand again. "I promise that Shane's not going to go to prison for saving my life. I'll make sure of that."

Kayla nodded and scooted closer to Steve. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into his chest. They both knew the fallout from the latest revelations was not going to be easy. But they would weather the storm together, no matter what might come their way.


	206. Chapter 206

"Can I get anyone anything?"

Bo shook his head. "Kimber, we're fine." Even as he finished, he glanced at Roman for confirmation. Roman had arrived a few minutes earlier, telling her only that the ISA officials still had not arrived in Salem. Roman had walked in flexing his right hand, and she had noticed that his knuckles were red. Kim suspected that, outside in her driveway, Jack Devereaux was nursing a very sore jaw.

"Yeah, Sis, we don't need anything," Roman added. "Why don't you sit down?"

They didn't understand. Kim needed to do something. If she didn't keep herself occupied, she would worry. About Shane and what was happening to him at the jail. About Andrew, who had spent most of the afternoon alternating between glaring at her and refusing to look at her. He was now in his room napping.

"Madame, here are the telephone messages." Kim turned and gratefully took a stack of papers from Simmons. "I left the press enquiries, but they are at the bottom."

"Thank you, Simmons," she said. At least this was something she could do.

Bo crossed the room toward her. "Here . . . let me handle those."

"No," Kim said, with a shake of her head. "I've got it." She carried the papers over to Shane's desk, dumped the press messages in one pile on the desk, and began flipping through the other set of messages. It seemed like half the hospital staff had called, not to mention Alice and Julie. Neil's note said he would stop by after work. She grimaced at seeing Victor Kiriakis' name. He had always hated Shane, and she doubted he was doing anything but gloating right now. She balled that one up and tossed it in the trash.

"Looks like just about every news company in the business is calling," Bo muttered as he looked at the set of press messages. "CNN, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Reuters . . . sheesh."

_All over a silly newspaper article_, she thought. Then something else dawned on her. "Eve . . . I need to get word to her. She shouldn't have to read about this in some newspaper."

"Kimber. . . . You know there's no phone at their camp. It'll take days just to get a message through."

Kim knew Bo was right, but if Eve found out the wrong way, it would be horrible. Shane did not need that kind of worry. "I still have to let her know."

"I'll see what I can do," Roman said. "Maybe I can get in touch with some officials with Frankie's organization and see if they have a way of getting a message through."

She nodded. God, she felt numb.

The doorbell rang. _Who is it now_? she wondered. "I'll get it," she said before anyone else could volunteer.

She was the second one to reach the door. Mike beat her to it. He hesitated as he looked at her.

_He's here to protect us. Jericho's still out there_. It came as a cruel reminder that, with everything else going on, her son was still in danger. "Go ahead," she said.

Mike cracked the door open then opened it to let in Kim's parents.

"'Bout time you answered," Shawn grumbled as he came through.

Caroline swept by him and enveloped Kim in a hug. "Oh, Kimmie . . . we just heard the news. Mrs. Davis told us when she came in to the market. Why didn't you call us earlier?"

Kim shrugged, unsure how to answer, but Roman responded first. "We're still trying to figure out what's going on, Ma." He led them all back into the library. Mike remained behind, standing guard at the front door.

"I don't get it," Shawn said. "I don't get this at all."

"None of us do, Pop." That came from Bo. "Kim's tried explaining it to me and I still don't know why Shane's in jail."

"And that whole story about Steve and Cincinnati . . . that was all a lie?" Shawn's face was turning red.

"Come on, Shawn," Caroline said. "Like I told you, I'm sure that was for a reason."

"But our own children lied to us." Shawn was pacing. "Kimmie . . . how could you lie about this?"

"Papa. . . ." She tried to figure out how to explain, but the truth was that she really did not want to explain.

Roman came to her defense. "It's what Shane asked us to do."

"'Us'?" Shawn turned on Roman. "So you knew too?" He looked around at everyone in the room. "So you've all known and it's just us who've been the fools."

Bo raised his hands and responded first. "Don't look at me, Pop."

"No," Roman said. "I knew, because Shane told me. Other than that, it was just Kim, Kay and Steve."

"It was for our protection, Papa," Kim added. "The ISA insisted it be secret."

"The ISA . . . ISA . . ." Shawn continued to grumble as he paced. "All they ever done is cause trouble for this family."

Kim closed her eyes. She did not need this. Someone put an arm on her shoulder and she opened her eyes to realize that Caroline was pulling her aside.

"Kimmie . . . what's going on? I mean why's Shane been arrested? All we heard is that it has to do with Steve being rescued."

"I don't know, Mama," Kim said, honestly. "Shane warned me this could happen if the truth got out about Steve. That's why we kept it secret."

"Yeah, until Steve ran his mouth off to Jack," Roman snarled.

"Steve wouldn't do that," Bo said.

Kim turned around wearily. She knew what she believed, but she could not prove it. And Kayla had sworn Steve did not do it.

"Yeah . . . well, that's what Kayla thought too," Roman said. "But you're both wrong. Steve pretty much admitted it to me."

_So I was right. This was all Steve. He just needed to get back at Shane, didn't he_? The numb feeling started to fade, replaced with a heated anger.

"Come on," Bo said. "You're talking about Steve here. He can be a hot-head, but he'd never do something like this. Not intentionally. He couldn't have known this would happen."

Roman scowled. "That's no excuse. Steve promised Shane he'd keep it secret, and then he went ahead and talked to Jack. That's how he repaid Shane for getting him out of that place."

"Oh, I forgot, you never make a mistake!" Bo's voice rose loudly and he stepped angrily toward Roman. "So none of the rest of us can be forgiven for ours."

"Don't defend him!" Roman yelled back. "This is all because of him!"

"Stop it!" Kim shouted. As angry as she was at Steve - and at Kayla for defending him - she did not want the rest of her family coming to blows over this. "Please . . . none of this is helping."

"No . . . of course not," Caroline said, putting her arm back around Kim and steering her to the couch. Everyone else had fallen silent, and then Caroline tensed. Kim looked up and realized why. Andrew was standing at the door, his eyes wide as he stared at them.

"Andrew, honey. . . ." Caroline rushed toward him, holding her arms out. She gave him a hug, but he did not return it. He kept looking around the room.

"You're fighting because of Daddy," he said.

"Oh no, Andrew." Caroline tried to reassure him. "We're upset at what's happened, but we're not mad at him. It's not your father's fault."

Andrew was unconvinced. "Yes, it is. He lied. He said he wouldn't leave again." He stomped his foot. "I hate him!"

Kim started toward him, but Roman grabbed her arm. "Let me talk to him," he said. She could hear what he was not saying. _He needs a man to explain_.

Roman reached Andrew and crouched down next to him. "I think we should take a little walk, partner." He lifted Andrew up and then turned. "I . . . uh, think Uncle Bo should come too." He glanced back at Bo, who nodded, and followed them out of the room.

The scene made Kim smile a little. One minute, her brothers were at each other's throats. The next, they were being good uncles. For all their squabbles, her family did stick together.

_Except for Kayla and Steve._

With a sigh, Kim tried to set that thought aside and watched her brothers leave. She hoped they could work some magic with Andrew.

"Kimmie." She felt Shawn's hand touch her shoulder and she looked up to see him. He squeezed her shoulder slightly. "This will all work out, I'm telling you."

She gave him a soft smile; he had always been there for her. "I hope you're right, Papa," she said. "I hope you're right."


	207. Chapter 207

Kayla's eyes snapped open as she heard Steve cry out. Rolling quickly to her side, she could see he was in the midst of another nightmare. His body was in its now-familiar tensed position and she could see him flexing his hands and wrists even in the darkness of their room.

He cried out again. It wasn't words, exactly, just a cry of tremendous pain. Sliding quickly out of the bed, Kayla moved to the foot of the bed and called to him as she had done many times since he had accidently struck her in England.

Over the weeks, she had learned to tell the difference between a "normal" nightmare and Steve's more intense flashback-type dreams. With a nightmare, she could simply roll over and softly call his name. He would calm down, often without completely waking up.

But this was no simple nightmare. The physical signs had told her that immediately. As she stood at the end of the bed, she called his name urgently. Trial and error had taught her that calling to him forcefully and repeatedly would bring him out of his flashback the fastest.

After several long moments, Steve cries of pain finally stopped and his eye opened. Kayla continued to talk to him, telling him where he was and that he was okay until she saw the recognition in his eye.

As Steve finally relaxed back against the bed, Kayla walked to his side and sat down beside him. She gently brushed the hair from his face, her hand lingering to caress his cheek.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

Steve took a few deep breaths and then nodded.

"That was a pretty bad one, wasn't it?" Kayla's voice remained soft and gentle. She continued to caress his face and neck.

Again, Steve nodded. "I guess so. I don't remember it, so it must have been bad."

That was the great irony of these nightmares. The more intense they were, the less Steve would remember. At first, Kayla had thought Steve had just told her didn't remember to avoid her questions, but as he had opened up a little about his flashbacks, she had come to realize that he really did not remember what had happened most of the time.

They sat together quietly for a few moments before Steve pulled Kayla to him and back into the bed. She snuggled in next to him, hoping he would fall asleep again.

It did not take long for her to know that this would be a night when sleep would not return easily to Steve. She could feel him shifting around on the bed. It would not be long before he would climb out of their bed.

Just as she finished that thought, Steve eased himself out of the bed. He put on his robe and walked out of the room. Kayla did not have to follow him to know exactly what he was doing. First, he would check on Stephanie and then he would check the locks on the door and windows.

She had read enough material on PTSD in the past weeks to know that it was his hypervigilance kicking in again. It had been present in the early days at Donovan manor, but had largely ceased once they had returned to Salem. Until recently, that is.

Since her return from the capitol, she had noticed a difference in Steve's nightmares and had noticed a return of the hypervigilance. After their return from Salem and Steve's decision to work with Kim, his nightmares had eased greatly. They never completely went away, but the frequency of the intense flashback-type of nightmares had dropped significantly.

Since her return home, however, the intense nightmares had returned almost every night and they were usually followed by Steve leaving their bed to make sure the house was secure. At first, Kayla had assumed it was just a temporary thing, but after a week of seeing the same pattern almost every night, she knew there was more to it.

Kayla climbed out of bed and put on her robe and headed out into the living room. Steve was sitting on the couch, staring at the front door. Calling softly to him so she did not startle him, she walked over and sat down next to him.

"What are you doing out here, Sweetness? You should be sleeping."

Kayla smiled softly. "So should you."

Steve looked away. "I'll come back to bed soon. You don't have to wait for me."

Kayla reached for his hand and held it, feeling the warmth from his skin next to hers. Their fingers intertwined almost of their own volition, just as their hearts and souls had done all those years ago.

"You don't have to do this alone, you know," Kayla said softly. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Steve nodded and Kayla watched his eye glance from their joined hands to the door and back to her.

"Tell me what you're feeling right now." Kayla maintained her soft tone as she put her other hand on his.

"I'm afraid," Steve said simply. "I know it's all in my head, but I don't feel like we're safe."

"I know." That was all Kayla said. She knew it would do no good to tell him that the apartment was secure. Steve knew that, but it was not enough to fight the fear that he could not control.

Kayla scooted to the corner of the couch and pulled on Steve's hand until he moved next to her. Silently she pulled his head to her chest and stroked his hair. She could feel how tense his body was, but she ignored it and just held him gently.

Gradually, she felt his body relax. He took several deep breaths and then wrapped his arms around her. Kayla had no idea how long they stayed like that until she heard his breathing deepen and knew he had fallen asleep.

Kayla slowly reached up and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them with it. She nestled down deeper into the couch, feeling Steve automatically moved with her. They needed to figure out why he was getting worse, but she would worry about that in the morning. For now, she would just hold on to him and hope that he could find some peace in her arms.


	208. Chapter 208

Shane looked up from the bench to see one of the FBI agents outside his cell. He had not heard the cellblock door open, so he must have finally dozed off after they gave him some breakfast. It had been a long, sleepless night that Shane had spent mostly pacing around the cell worrying about Kim and Andrew.

"I said 'get up,'" the agent repeated.

Shane complied and rose to his feet.

"Put your hands on your head, walk over here slowly, and turn around."

Puzzled, Shane followed orders. He reached the bars and turned around. As he stood there, the agent placed a chain around his waist.

"You have got to be kidding me," Shane said as he realized what was happening.

"Turn around."

Shaking his head at the indignity, Shane turned and held his hands in front of him. The agent cuffed his hands and threaded the chain through the cuffs. Shane's hands were now immobilized a few inches from his waist. Then the door opened and the agent was ushering him out of the cell and down the corridor. From there, they entered the main area of the police station, where a number of officers Shane knew seemed unwilling to even look at him.

"Get back," said the FBI agent to an approaching Abe Carver.

"Oh shut the hell up," Abe snapped. "This is my station." He looked at Shane. "We'll get this straightened out. We all know it's bull."

Shane had to grin a little at that, but the agent pushed him forward before he could respond. He was led past a few more desks to an interrogation room, ordered to sit, and then left alone in the room.

Mickey Horton entered a few minutes later. The first thing he noticed were the handcuffs. "Is this really necessary?" he asked the agent who had escorted Shane to the room.

"The prisoner has extensive training in martial arts," the agent replied. "And he attacked one of the arresting agents. The cuffs stay on."

Shane sighed. "It's okay, Mickey. At least they decided I didn't need leg restraints." The agent glared at him, but said nothing and left the room.

Mickey set his briefcase on the table. "I didn't think we'd ever be here again." Shane knew he was thinking of the time Victor had framed Shane for espionage. Mickey had defended Shane at his arraignment.

"Unfortunately, Mickey, I don't think Bo's going to come charging into the courtroom to confess this time."

"No, I guess not," Mickey said, taking a seat. "I talked to Louis Pasqua this morning. He's the-"

"The Assistant U.S. Attorney, I know," Shane said. "I've worked with him before."

"Okay, well I talked with him and I'm not going to sugarcoat this." Mickey shook his head. "I don't get it, but they're out for blood. From what Pasqua told me, the State Department's getting a lot of pressure from the Egyptians. They're claiming you attacked a science research facility and killed unarmed scientists."

"They weren't exactly unarmed," Shane said quietly. "So what does that mean?"

Mickey studied him. "I assume from what you just said that the Spectator article is true? I don't believe for a second that what you did was unauthorized, but it's true there was a raid on a compound in Egypt, you were involved, you rescued Steve, and people were killed?"

_That's a rather simple way of breaking it down._ Shane just nodded.

Mickey frowned. "It sounds like the Egyptians are going to seek extradition and charge you with murder, but Pasqua said they may be having some issues with the British government. I gather that you're still a British citizen."

_Thank goodness for small favors_, Shane said to himself. "I think extradition to Egypt is probably not one of our more favorable options, is it?"

"No, but U.S. law isn't a whole lot better." Mickey looked across the table. "Do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"Go ahead," Shane answered. "Like you said, don't sugarcoat things."

"Well . . . first, there are the laws generally governing war crimes and murder and assault. U.S. laws could apply even if the crimes occur outside the U.S. under a conspiracy theory. Until we know more about the specifics, I can't say which laws might apply, but they could charge you with multiple counts that would each carry a life sentence." Mickey waited for Shane to process that. "Then there are some special statutes that might apply. One's a law governing conspiracy to damage property of a foreign country," Mickey said. "I'd never even heard of that one until yesterday. That's three years and, if you took any step toward the plan in the U.S., including agreeing to do it, it could apply. Then you have treason for undermining the U.S. Armed Forces in the Middle East. That could be 20 years. Under the Espionage Act, using classified information prejudicial to U.S. interests is ten years." He sighed. "And from what you just told me, it sounds like they probably have a very strong case against you for joining an expedition against a friendly nation. That carries a three-year sentence."

Shane sat silently, letting that all sink in. He remembered Tarrington, the night he brought Steve's picture to the house, saying the ISA lawyers thought criminal charges would be a stretch.

_It doesn't feel like a stretch right now._

None of this felt real. _This is some bad dream and I'm going to wake up from it. _If this were happening to Andrew, Shane would just give a few reassuring hugs and soon the boy would be sleeping soundly. Shane just wanted to wake up and have this nightmare be over.

But he knew that was wishful thinking. The metal around his wrists was real. Being in the police station was real. Mickey Horton telling him he could spend the rest of his life in prison - that was real too.

"So what do I do?" Shane asked.

Mickey gave him a sympathetic look. "For now, nothing. I'll see what I can find out over the weekend, but we probably won't know anything more until Monday at the arraignment. Then, you'll plead 'not guilty,' we'll find out what the government has, and we'll start figuring out how to get rid of these ridiculous charges."

He made it sound so simple that Shane almost believed him.

"You know, Shane . . . the best defense would be to prove you were acting with the approval of the ISA." He stared at Shane, waiting for a response, but when he got none, he nodded slightly. "I can't claim to know how the ISA operates and, I know in your line of work, you have a lot of ideas about loyalty and duty that I couldn't possibly understand. . . . But we're talking about you spending the rest of your life in prison for this. This isn't taking one for the team."

Shane looked down at the shackles that encircled his wrists. "I need to think, Mickey."

"Fine. There's time to think about it. But I know you," Mickey said. "You wouldn't go this far off the reservation. Not even to save Steve."

Shane kept his head down, not sure how - or even if - he should respond. He was still reeling. _You have to hold it together_, he told himself. _You need to be strong for Andrew and Kim. _

_Kim._

"Have you talked to Kim?" Shane asked, looking back up.

Mickey nodded. "She was here yesterday, but they wouldn't let her in to see you." He paused. "She's frightened and worried. She was hopeful that the ISA chief coming here would help straighten things out-"

"Kim always was an optimist," Shane said bitterly. _She never really understood the reality_.

"She loves you though."

_Which doesn't count for much when you're facing a lifetime in jail, does it_? Shane thought. He took a deep breath. "Do me a favor . . . don't tell Kim what you told me. About the laws, I mean. I don't want her worrying for now. Let her think this isn't a big deal. That it's just about some silly article"

Mickey smiled and rolled his eyes slightly. "Kim's not a fool. She already knows this is a big deal. You're not protecting her by trying to keep her in the dark."

"Please, Mickey."

"Okay," Mickey said with a shrug. "You're the client. I'm going to the office to see what my associate's dug up on some of these laws and will begin mapping out some strategy." He stood up and picked up his briefcase. "Just think about what I said Shane, and ask yourself whether life in prison is really worth protecting the ISA."


	209. Chapter 209

Holding Stephanie, Kayla stood in the doorway of the bedroom watching Steve sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, he had awakened, still lying in Kayla's lap. Without a word, Steve had gently carried her back to their bedroom. Once there, she had pulled him back into her arms and had held him until they had fallen asleep again.

A few hours later, she had awoken to the sounds of her daughter's babbling on the baby monitor. She had quietly slipped out of bed and had entered Stephanie's room. Stephanie had been standing in her crib, smiling her daddy's mischievous smile, and looking expectantly at Kayla. Kayla could not help but giggle at her daughter's antics. She had no doubt that Stephanie was going to be a handful as she got older.

Now, mother and daughter watched the most important man in their life sleeping peacefully. Kayla could only hope that someday soon this would be the rule, rather than the exception it had become.

Leaving the bedroom, Kayla carried Stephanie into the kitchen and put her in her high chair. She put a handful of Cheerios on the tray to keep Stephanie occupied while Kayla fixed breakfast. Before long, Stephanie was fed, cleaned up, and happily playing in on the living room floor.

As Kayla watched Stephanie, she heard a knock at the door. A quick glance at the clock confirmed her suspicion. It was 8:00 a.m. and she knew only one person who would be visiting that early on a Saturday morning. She contemplated not answering, but knew it was just delaying the inevitable.

Kayla opened the door to her father. "Hi, Pop."

Shawn just nodded his greeting and walked in the open door. He smiled when he saw Stephanie and leaned down to place a soft kiss on the top of her head. Stephanie giggled at her grandfather, then turned back to her toys.

"Can I get you some coffee?" Kayla asked. "There's a fresh pot in the kitchen."

"No, thank you," Shawn replied in his familiar brogue. "I'm not here for coffee."

Kayla sighed, knowing what was coming. "Then what brings you by so early?"

"I want to know if what Roman said was true. Is that husband of yours the reason that Shane was arrested?"

"I think Shane was arrested because of the article in the paper," Kayla replied. She knew it was not going to placate her father, but she also was not willing to admit that this was all Steve's fault.

"Don't play word games with me, Kayla." Shawn's tone was brusque. "Roman said Steve admitted talking to that brother of his. Is that true or not?"

"Yes, Pop." Kayla sank to the couch, thankful her daughter was too young to understand what was going on around her.

"And Roman said you were defending him to Kimmie?" Shawn was incredulous. "Why did you lie to your sister?"

"It's not that simple, Pop-" Kayla started, trying to figure out the best way to explain.

"Don't give me that, Kayla," Shawn interrupted, his voice beginning to rise. "I know Steve is your husband, but Kimmie is your blood, and she deserves your loyalty too - not that you've shown her much in a long while."

Kayla felt the air leave her body as she absorbed her father's verbal blow. "That's not fair," she said, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice.

"What's not fair is that your sister's scared and upset about what might happen to her husband, and you weren't even there to support her last night with the rest of the family." Shawn was on a roll now. "Bo, Roman, your mother, me - we were all there last night. You should have been there too."

"I'm sure Kim didn't want me there," Kayla snapped. "She made it perfectly clear how mad she is at me, yesterday."

"For good reason, apparently," Shawn said.

"That's enough, Mr. Brady," Steve said as he entered the room. "Kayla didn't do anything wrong."

"Ah, but you did, didn't you?" Shawn turned his anger on Steve. "This is all your fault."

"Then you can be angry at me, but leave Kayla out of it." Steve's voice was calm, but the look on his face made it clear he was serious.

"It's okay, Steve." Kayla spoke softly, not wanting to see things get any worse.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't say to my own daughter," Shawn said stubbornly. "This is a family matter."

"Kayla and Stephanie are my family," Steve replied. He turned to Kayla. "Why don't you take Stephanie into the kitchen and let me talk to your pop?"

"No," Kayla said. Steve's eye widened in surprise as Kayla stood and walked over to him. Taking his hand, she looked into his eye. "I told you we would deal with this together and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere."

Steve gave Kayla a small smile and nodded. Then he looked at Shawn. "I know you're upset, Mr. Brady, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that any of this happened."

"Sorry doesn't get Shane out of jail, now, does it?" Shawn clearly was not mollified by Steve's apology. Looking at Kayla, he said, "I don't understand how you can defend what he's done, Kayla?"

"He's my husband, Pop." Kayla refused to back down. "I love him and I know him. He didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Then how did it happen?" Shawn demanded. "Explain that to me."

"I can't do that yet," Steve said.

"You can't or you won't?" Shawn asked. "More likely, you just don't have an explanation."

"Stop it." That was enough for Kayla. "You say this is about family, but what about Steve? Isn't he a part of this family? Isn't that what you've always said?"

Shawn fell silent, unwilling to respond.

"It's okay," Steve said, still looking at Shawn. "I know where I stand." He took a deep breath. "I will gladly explain what happened to everybody, but Shane deserves to hear it from me first. I owe him that much. Once I've had a chance to talk to him, then I'll give you all the explanations you want."

Shawn looked at Steve and Kayla. "I guess that's all there is to say then. I just hope your explanation is enough to keep this family from being torn apart." Without another word, he turned and left the apartment.

After Shawn left, Kayla collapsed on the couch. She shook her head. "Well, that went about as well as I expected."

Steve sat down next to Kayla. "I'm sorry, baby. I hate that this has put you in the middle of everything."

"I meant what I said, Steve." Kayla took his hand. "We'll face this together and we will make them understand somehow." She gave him a slight smile. "Besides, you know how my Pop is. He'll bluster for a while, but he'll come around."

Steve nodded and then stood. "I hope you're right, Sweetness, but I need to start trying to fix this. So I'm going to jump in the shower, grab a little breakfast and then-" Steve paused as a dangerous smile crossed his face. "-I'm going to have a little chat with my baby brother."


	210. Chapter 210

Kim entered the police station and looked around, hoping to see someone she knew. "Abe," she called out, as Abe Carver came into sight. He rushed over to her and gave her a hug.

"Are you okay?"

"No" was the real answer. She had barely slept the night before. She had spent the night alternating between worrying about Shane and comforting Andrew when he woke, screaming in terror, from his nightmares.

"I'm hanging in there," she said quietly.

Abe gave her a sympathetic glance. "If you need anything, let me know." He lowered his voice. "Roman told me about the security issues and the press. We'll keep a unit at the house for the near future."

"Thanks, Abe," Kim said. "It's good to have friends in high places."

"You're welcome. But let me know if you need any more security." He gave her a very serious look. "Shane's enemies are not your run-of-the-mill bad guys."

_Thanks for the reminder_, Kim thought. "I know, but I think we're okay right now. Bo's staying at the house for now, and the bodyguard Shane hired for Andrew has been great." She forced a smile. "And, hey, Shane will be out soon."

"He'd better," Abe growled. "This whole case smells. You need to know that the people of Salem don't believe a word of it. Shane's no traitor."

She knew he was referring to the morning news reports. As she had gotten dressed, she had watched a CNN report that said Shane would be charged with treason and espionage.

"You just keep your head up. People here know Shane. We know this whole thing's a crock."

"Thanks," she said, this time with a genuine smile. "Do you think I can see him? Mickey said it would be possible."

Abe nodded. "I'll take you there myself. It's . . . um, better just for you to go to the cell."

Kim wondered what that meant, but she let the thought go as she followed him through the station. Her heart was pounding nervously. She was so desperate to make sure Shane was okay. Abe led her through a maze of cubicles to a door she had never noticed before. A dark-suited man was sitting in a chair outside. Abe glared at the man as if daring him to try to stop them, but the man just quirked his head toward the door.

"I'll leave you here," Abe said as he opened it. "Just knock when you're ready to leave."

With a nod, she stepped hesitantly inside. Her own memories of prison came flooding back. _ I was innocent too_, she thought.

"Kim!"

Just the sound of Shane's voice, the lilt of his accent as he said her name, made her flood with relief. She rushed forward until she reached his cell. He looked okay, if a little haggard. He was still wearing the dirty suit jacket and stained dress shirt he had on the day before.

For a moment, neither of them said a word. Shane stared at her, his dark eyes transfixed on hers.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a soft voice tinged with what sounded like disbelief.

Kim reached out and touched his hand, which was clutching the prison bars. "I had to see you. I had to make sure you were okay."

He pulled his hand away and stepped away from the bars. "I . . . I didn't want you to see me like this." He ran his hands through his hair. "Not locked up like this."

"It doesn't matter, Shane. I know you're not guilty of anything, so who cares if it's here or in a visitor's room? All that matters is you're okay and we're going to beat this."

At that, she saw his shoulders tense and he flinched slightly. Then he turned and gave her a tender smile. "You're right. Thank you for coming."

Kim's heart chilled momentarily. _ He's not telling me something._But Shane changed the subject before she could ask him what was going on.

"Is Andrew okay?" he asked. He sounded guilty. "He . . . he shouldn't have had to see that."

She considered lying to him and claiming everything was okay, but Shane would see right through that. "He's struggling with it." She decided against mentioning how Andrew had said he hated Shane; that would only compound his guilt. "Bo and Roman spent time with him, and I think it helped." She did not know what they said to Andrew when they left the library the day before, but Andrew had returned subdued, but not as angry as before.

Kim, on the other hand, was still angry. "I haven't talked to Steve yet, but when I do . . . So help me. . . ."

"What about Steve?" Shane asked, looking decidedly confused.

"He's the one that talked. He told-"

"No, he didn't," Shane said. "Kayla said-"

"Kayla lied," Kim snapped. "She lied to me too, defended him. But Steve admitted to Roman that he told Jack." Her voice rose sharply. "He didn't give a damn about what would happen. He promised to keep the secret, and he broke that promise to get even with you."

Shane looked stunned. "No," he whispered, almost to himself. He shook his head. "He gave me his word." Looking back at her, he asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes." Kim was certain. The fact that Kayla and Steve had not come to the house the night before only confirmed it in her mind. "He's the one. After everything you did for him. You saved his life and he turned on you."

She could see the anger rising in him. Shane's body tensed and he began to pace. His right hand formed a fist and he punched it against his left palm. "Damn him!" he shouted. "That bloody bastard."

_He has every right to be furious_, she thought as she repeated, "You saved his life."

Shane stopped pacing and just stared at the cell wall. "If it was just me . . . but Steve knows Andrew's in danger." He turned his head toward her and she could see the fury in his eyes. He seemed like he was fighting to control himself. "How could he bloody do that? And how could Kayla just lie to me about it?" He started pacing once more, his fist again pounding his hand. "I could kill him, Kim. I could bloody well kill him."

For several minutes, the only sounds in the cellblock were Shane footfalls and angry murmurs. He continued to shake his head angrily until Kim finally spoke.

"What does Mickey have to say?"

Shane came to a stop, and she knew it was bad news, but then he shook his head. "We won't really know until Monday. There are . . . there a lot of possibilities."

_He's lying. _But she knew it was because he did not want her worrying. She hated him for it - for thinking she could not handle the truth. But she loved him for it too - for wanting to protect her.

"Okay," she said. "If there's anything I can do to help with getting your bail. . . . They will give you bail, won't they?" That thought came out of nowhere. _Could they keep him locked up_?

"I'm sure they'll give me bail," Shane said. "And Mickey already knows what to liquidate to get what he needs. Even if it's a high amount, Mickey should have enough to cover a bond."

He fell silent and looked down at the floor. A few minutes passed before he stepped to the bars and gave her a sad, crooked smile. "Kim . . . these charges are serious. I could go to prison for a long time. You and Andrew. . . . I might not be able to be there for you."

His words echoed what he had told her when he was facing the trumped-up espionage charges after Victor and Emma conspired to get Shane arrested. He had told her that if he was convicted, she needed to go on and raise their baby without him. "_Get on with your life_," is what he had said.

"_I don't have a life without you._" She remembered her words. That was how she had responded. And no matter how much she had tried to convince herself otherwise over the past year, it was still true today.

She reached through the bars, took his hand in hers, and gave it a comforting squeeze. "We'll get through this, Shane," she said. "Together, we'll get through this."


	211. Chapter 211

Steve entered the Spectator offices and headed straight for Jack's office, ignoring the looks from the Spectator employees. However, before he could get too far, he was intercepted by Vern Scofield.

"Steve . . . uh . . . can I help you with something?" Vern asked, casting a nervous glance at Jack's door.

"Unless you've suddenly become Jack, no. I assume he's in his office." Steve was sure that Jack was counting on Vern to run interference.

"Jack's . . . uh . . . Jack's in conference at the moment." Vern's voice betrayed his nerves. "I can tell him you stopped by if you like."

"I think we already tried that once," Steve said. He looked at Vern and gave him a slight grin. "Don't worry. I'll tell Jack that you did your best to stop me from seeing him." The grin faded. "But I am going to see your boss one way or another."

Vern sighed and stepped aside. "I told Jack that I wouldn't be able to stop you."

"You're a good man, Vern - for a newspaper dude anyway." Steve clapped Vern on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt him - too badly."

Steve stepped around Vern and resumed his journey to Jack's office. As he reached the door, he could hear voices inside.

"No, Jack . . . I am not going to go to the Donovan house to try and get more information for you," Steve heard Jennifer saying. "I've already told the station that I can't cover the story because it's a conflict of interest. I'm certainly not going to do it for you."

"Jennifer," Jack said. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I'm banned from the premises and I need somebody I can trust to get the story. I won't even use your name."

"Yes, I'm sure you'll be more than happy to take credit for the story." Steve choked back a laugh at Jennifer's comment.

Steve could hear the rustling of papers as Jennifer asked, "What are you looking for, Jack?"

"I'm looking for my tape recorder," Jack said. "You know - the little silver one that I usually carry."

"You mean this?" Steve walked through the door holding up the mini tape recorder. He watched as Jack and Jennifer turned towards him and took momentary pleasure in the look of fear that crossed his brother's face. He also noticed the bruise on Jack's jaw.

"Steve. . . ." Jennifer's voice finally broke the silence. "It's nice to see you."

"It's nice to see you too," Steve replied, flashing Jennifer a grin. "I hate to interrupt, but do you think that I could have a word alone with Jack?" Steve's grin quickly faded as he looked at his brother.

"I don't think Jennifer needs to leave," Jack said, finally finding his voice. "After all, she's part of the family now."

Steve grinned at his brother. "You're not afraid to be alone with me now, are you, Jack?" He turned back to Jennifer. "I'd really appreciate a moment alone with Jack. I promise I won't do too much damage to your husband."

Jennifer nodded and walked towards the door. Before she left the room, she turned and gave Jack a small smile. "I'll see you at home later . . . I hope."

As Jennifer closed the door behind her, Steve turned and faced his brother again. As they stood in silence, Steve tried to keep his temper in check. Finally, Steve spoke. "You just couldn't help yourself could you, BillyJack?"

"Look Steve," Jack said in his best politician's voice. "I know you are upset, but I can explain."

"Explain?" Steve's voice rose sharply. "I was drunk. You taped our conversation and used it for a story. And a man's in jail because of that." Steve slowly approached Jack. "You really think you can explain that?"

"I didn't know the story would get Shane arrested," Jack protested. "It's not like you told me that part."

"Oh, so now this is all my fault," Steve said. "I'm assuming you told me that you were going to print the story when we were talking at the Heart, right?"

Jack looked at Steve curiously. "You don't remember?"

"No, Jack," Steve snapped. "I don't remember. So why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"

Jack sighed. "I showed up and you were pretty messed up. I asked you what was wrong and you said that Shane had caused Abe to reject your reinstatement. Then you said something about wondering why Shane brought you home if he was just going to mess with your life."

Steve strained to remember as Jack told the story. But it was all just a weird combination of a big blur and a big black hole. "Just answer one question for me, Jack." Steve paused, unsure if he really wanted to ask the question. _You have to know_. "Did I tell you to print the story? Was I trying to get back at Shane?"

Jack stood silently for a moment, as if contemplating his answer. Finally, he hung his head and said, "No. I asked you what really happened and you said you would tell me, but that it was just between you and me."

Steve's emotions alternated between relief and rage. After a few seconds, rage won. He grabbed Jack by the lapels of his suit jacket and shoved him against the desk. "I told you not to push it weeks ago. And then I told you to keep it between you and me. And instead of doing what I asked, you printed the story." Steve released Jack and looked at him with disgust. "I really thought you had changed. I guess I was wrong."

"You're not wrong," Jack insisted. "Maybe I wasn't fully honest in getting this story, but I only did it because I had no other choice."

"You had a choice, Jack," Steve said bitterly. "You could have left things alone. You just didn't want to."

"I told you the paper was in trouble, Steve." Jack stepped away from Steve and walked around to the other side of the desk. "I wasn't lying or exaggerating. Without this story, I was just a few weeks from having to close it down."

"So you decided that playing me for a fool was a better option." Steve did not feel any sympathy for his brother.

"Printing this story was my only option," Jack said. "Circulation is up, the advertisers are pouring in, and, with the national attention, the paper is on better footing than it's been in months."

"Well, that's just great, Jack." The sarcasm dripped from Steve's words. "And all it took was lying to me and getting a good man thrown in jail. You must be very proud of yourself." Steve leaned over the desk menacingly. "Do you have any idea what you've really done?"

"Come on, Steve," Jack said, taking a seat on the other side of the desk. "The feds aren't really going to go after Shane. They can't. He's a hero for saving you." He leaned back in his chair. "This will all blow over before too long."

Steve scoffed, but then remembered it wasn't that long ago that he had believed the same thing. How mad could he really be at Jack for dismissing the seriousness of the whole thing? Sighing, Steve said, "I have a hunch you'll find out in a couple of days just how serious it really is."

Jack stared at Steve. "You're not joking are you?"

"No, Jack. I'm not joking at all. Shane's in serious trouble right now because of this article."

"I never meant for that to happen," Jack said quietly.

Steve chuckled at the irony. Jack sounded just like he had when he explained it to Kayla. "Well that doesn't matter much now does it?" He paused as he looked at his brother. "I trusted you, Jack. For reasons I can't even understand, I trusted you. And it's not just me. Kayla trusted you. When she called and asked you to go and get me, she trusted you."

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the mention of Kayla's name, while Steve continued. "Now Kayla's family is upset at her because she's standing by me. Do you know how much it hurts Kayla to be in the middle of this?"

"I'm sorry," Jack said sincerely. "I really am sorry."

Steve looked down at Jack. "If you really mean that, then you'll help me now. We caused this mess, so now we need to fix it."

Jack thought for a moment. "I can run a series of articles highlighting all of the good that Shane's done over the years. We can use the paper to put public pressure on the government."

"I guess it can't hurt," Steve said, grudgingly. "But it's going to take a lot more than that for you to make up for this."

"What else do you want me to do?" Jack asked.

"Keep your eyes and ears open for now," Steve said. "I'm not sure what they're charging Shane with yet, so I'm not sure what he'll need to fight the charges. But when I know, I'm going to expect you to help me get it - is that understood?"

Jack nodded.

"Good." Steve sighed. "You're getting a second chance to do the right thing here, Jackson. Don't blow it."

Jack nodded again.

"I'll be in touch," Steve said, turning to leave. But, before he did, he could not resist asking, "So which of the Brady boys gave you that nice decoration on your jaw?"

Jack cracked a smile and ran his hand over the bruise. "Roman," he said quietly.

"I'll have to thank him for that," Steve said, walking to the door. "If he ever speaks to me again."

When he reached the door, Steve stopped and looked at Jack. "Remember what I said. If you mess this up again, you won't be getting a third chance."

"I'll remember," Jack said. "I won't let you down."

"We'll see about that," Steve said, shutting the door behind him. As he walked out of the building and back to his car, Steve hoped that Jack was sincere. Steve was going to need some help if he was going to fix the mess that he and Jack had created.


	212. Chapter 212

Lawrence generally avoided the common area of his cellblock. There were too many potential dangers, so he generally stayed in his cell, protected by a group of men whose canteen allowances Ivan kept well-supported. They were now clustered around him as he approached another group of men watching the single television for the block.

_Philistines_, he thought. They were watching something that passed as sporting competition in the barbaric country. American football, but that was something he mainly knew from motion pictures. Knute Rockne, All-American. The Longest Yard. That Marx Brothers film - what was it? Horse Feathers. That's right.

To be honest, those type of films held little interest to him. Lawrence had always been more intrigued by adventure films, with grand stunts and special effects. They had led him to install special effects equipment throughout his home - the home he had to rebuild because of the actions of a few members of Salem's most respected citizens.

Ironic that he thought of that, as one of them was the very reason he was here.

"Change the channel," he told one of the men with him.

The man passed the men who were cheering something happening on the screen and switched to the news channel. The football viewers began to shout, an angry chorus of barbarism to Lawrence's ears. _How unrefined_.

The man who changed the channel nodded in Lawrence's direction and most of the others turned to see Lawrence standing there with his other protectors. The cries died down. Some of the men exchanged looks with one another, but they knew the score. He chuckled silently. _That's the only score that matters in here_. To a man, the football viewers left the area surrounding the television.

Lawrence took a seat near the television and watched the talking heads debate some quite unimportant issue. Something about drugs. _Come on. I'm waiting. Where is it_? Then the screen changed and Lawrence broke into a wide grin. _It's true._

The screen had a picture of Shane Donovan. Beneath it were the words "Accused ISA Traitor." Lawrence listened as the anchor described how Donovan had used ISA secrets to organize an unsanctioned military operation in Egypt.

_An unsanctioned operation_. That was quite an interesting term. It was difficult to imagine Donovan marshaling the necessary resources to do that. After all, Lawrence had seen the way Donovan thought and acted first-hand. His approach to matters was, to put it lightly, quite limited. He followed rules and regulations.

_He managed to best you_.

Lawrence shunted that thought aside, as the news channel switched to a reporter outside Donovan's home. She spoke breathlessly about Donovan's arrest and began speculating on rumors of what he would be charged with. He heard he mention the "possibility of a life sentence."

"My, my, Captain, you seem to be in a bit of a precarious position," Lawrence said to himself. _Ah, the delicious irony of it all_. Here was Lawrence, who would surely be released after his parole hearing next month, and one of his biggest adversaries might soon be spending the rest of his life within these very walls. It was almost poetic.

_You couldn't write a better script._

On screen, the image shifted to a car pulling into the residence. Kimberly got out and was surrounded by a throng of reporters. Lawrence leaned forward to get a closer look at her.

She still looked the same, he thought, as he took in her porcelain skin and her golden hair. A true beauty. And passionate. He reached out and touched the screen, remembering how it felt to have her in his bed. He could almost feel her writhing beneath him in the throes of ecstasy.

Perhaps he could renew that relationship once he was freed. Kimberly would be without a man, and Lawrence knew enough about her to know that she needed a man in her bed.

The news report cut away, back to the talking heads. Their topic switched to something about Manuel Noriega's trial. Lawrence sat back, smiled, and reflected on what he had just heard.

Shane Donovan would be going to prison for destroying the Siwa facility. Those fools in the ISA were doing Lawrence's work for him.

Perhaps he should just let Donovan go to jail and forget his current plans. It would be extraordinary if it happened. Lawrence could imagine one day walking into the visitor's room and seeing Donovan on the other side of the plexiglass - only this time, their roles would be reversed. It was almost too perfect.

_My father would be alive if not for him and his friends._

That was true, Lawrence thought. What had his bugs overheard Julie Williams calling them? "_Donovan's Army_." As Lawrence always believed, the leader bore responsibility for his troops. Lawrence's father's death deserved retribution. Consigned to prison might be poetic justice, but Leopold Alamain's memory demanded more.

Of course, with his newly acquired connections, Lawrence could probably arrange for Donovan to have an "accident." They happened in prisons all the time, usually involving a sharpened spoon handle or a razor blade glued to a toothbrush.

But that would deprive Lawrence of the pleasure of seeing Donovan die - and did he really want to miss such an event? That would be a travesty.

For now, though, he would let events play out. Donovan's arrest. And, of course, his other man was still out there. He had been silent for awhile, Lawrence realized. Perhaps the events at Andrew Donovan's school had forced him to lie low. Or perhaps he was just setting the stage for his next move.

Ironically, the man's services were no longer required. His purpose had been to keep Donovan off-balance while Lawrence developed the toxin. But Donovan's arrest solved that little problem.

Of course, it was too late for Lawrence to call off his dog. They were no longer in contact with the man. Not since he had Ivan deliver instructions to eliminate Marchand. Following Marchand's death, it was too risky to have Ivan or anyone else deliver messages to him. So that meant whatever the man had planned for Donovan and his son, there was no way to stop it. So, perhaps, there was still some poetic justice to be had.

It was almost enough to make Lawrence sympathize with Donovan. To lose one's son and one's freedom in such a short amount of time. But then, he thought, that was hardly different than losing one's father and one's freedom, wasn't it? And sympathy was for fools.

Lawrence stood up and began walking back to his cell. Behind him, the men who had been watching their silly game returned to the television. Lawrence just shook his head as he left. _Barbarians._


	213. Chapter 213

Steve strolled along the pier as darkness fell over Salem. The crispness of the air told him that summer was nearly over and fall was rapidly descending on the town. He zipped up his jacket to ward against the chill and continued his walk.

For as long as he could remember, the pier had been a refuge for him when he needed to think. This evening was no different. He tried to figure out how he could help Shane, but he knew that it would be impossible to make any plans until Steve knew the charges. If it was just about who gave the story to Jack, Steve would march right in and turn himself in. But based on what Roman had said, Steve knew it was not going to be that easy.

No, it appeared that the government was going to make Shane its fall guy. Steve recalled how Roman called the mission "officially unofficial." Did that mean that Shane would need to prove that the ISA had authorized the mission?

Steve pondered the question. At first blush, it seemed easy. He knew the ISA had authorized it; they had put him in an army hospital and ISA doctors had taken his blood samples.

The thought had no more than crossed his mind before Steve chuckled. There was no way the ISA had not thought of that possibility and prepared for it. Still, there had to be something he could do. He just had to figure out what it was.

Steve ran a hand down his face. The effects of the lack of sleep he had gotten in the past week were definitely beginning to set in. His mind drifted back to the previous night when Kayla had refused to let him face his fears alone. As hard as he had tried to shield Kayla from his troubled mind, in that moment, he had needed her strength and she had given it without question.

Moments like those reminded Steve that, whatever had happened while he was gone, and however much they had changed, he and Kayla would make it through it all. No one else had ever been able to slip past his defenses the way that Kayla had, and he had never allowed himself to find shelter in someone's love like he could with Kayla. She truly was his life.

"Steve?"

Steve turned at the sound of Bo's voice. "Beauregard," he said, his tone guarded. "What brings you down here?"

"Just taking a walk," Bo replied as he walked up to Steve. "How about you?"

"The same, I guess." Steve stared out at the water, wondering if he was in for yet another round of accusations.

"So I guess we can stop pretending you just turned up in Cincinnati now, huh?" Bo said, casting a sideways glance at Steve.

Steve sighed. "I guess so." He looked at Bo. "I hope you know that I didn't like lying to you or the rest of the family."

"Is that why you told Jack? You didn't like lying?" Bo's tone turned colder.

Steve did not respond. He had told Shawn that he wanted to talk to Shane first, but the Brady family was not making it easy on him.

"You're just going to stand there and not say anything?" Bo asked. "Come on, Steve. Just tell me what happened."

"I've already had this conversation with your pop," Steve replied. "The only person who deserves an explanation right now is Shane, and, until I can give it to him, I won't say anything more." He took a deep breath. "So . . . if you're here to yell at me, just save your breath. I've already heard it from Roman and your father."

"I'm not here to yell at you," Bo said quietly. "Maybe I don't know exactly what happened, but I know you. You wouldn't deliberately betray Shane like that - no matter how mad you were at him."

Steve looked at Bo in surprise. He and Bo had been friends for a long time and, at times, had hated each other as only those who once were as close as brothers could. But Steve had not expected Bo to be on his side this time around. "You really mean that?"

Bo grinned at Steve. "Yeah, I do. You want to know why?"

Steve nodded.

"Because no matter how mad we were at each other, you could never really hurt me - even when you were at your worst. And when the chips were really down, you were still there for me." Bo looked out over the water. "I know you and Shane have your issues. But you were friends once, and you're still family. You couldn't betray him like that."

"Thanks for believing in me, dude," Steve said, feeling relief wash over him. "Besides Kayla, I think you're the only one who does."

"Everybody else will come around when you give them a chance," Bo replied.

"I don't know about that." Steve turned back to the water. "In the end, it doesn't really matter why or how it happened. The fact is that Shane's in serious trouble because of me. I can't expect the family to forgive or forget that."

"Maybe you can't expect it, but it will happen anyway." Bo's voice was confident. "We Brady's may be stubborn and hot-headed, but we're also big believers in forgiveness." He paused. "I should know."

Steve couldn't help but chuckle at that. Bo's hot-headedness had certainly caused the Brady family its share of headaches. "Yeah, but you're the baby of the family," Steve said with a smile. "They have to forgive you."

"Maybe so," Bo said, returning the smile. Then his expression grew more serious. "But I remember a time when I was angry and out of control and caused a lot of trouble for you. I know you didn't like it, but you didn't turn your back on me." Bo turned away, unable to look at Steve. "Turns out, you would have been much better off if you had."

Steve did not respond at first. He looked down the pier. In the darkness, he could not see it, but the spot where he had been caught in the boat explosion was not that far away. It was true that had Steve simply arrested Bo, that explosion probably would have never occurred. Yet, looking back, Steve doubted he would have done anything different. Going after Jencon had been the right thing to do, even if Bo had approached it in the wrong way. And Steve would have never left Bo to walk into a trap without warning.

"I don't think it's quite the same," Steve said softly. "You didn't know what was going to happen and neither did I. That wasn't your fault, Bo."

"And you didn't know that Shane would be arrested," Bo reminded Steve. "Maybe it's not exactly the same, but the point is that we've both made mistakes that hurt the people we care about, and we've stood by each other through the hard times."

Steve nodded. "I know. But Kayla's caught between me and her family. You shouldn't be stuck there too."

"Don't worry about me, Steve. I'm used to it." Bo smiled again. "Who do you think had to play referee for Kim and Kayla when we were kids?"

Steve chuckled, remembering some the Brady childhood stories he had heard. Then, Steve stopped laughing. "How . . . uh . . . how is Kim?" he asked hesitantly.

"She's holding her own," Bo said. "As a matter of fact, I'm staying with her at the house until Shane gets home, so I should probably be getting back."

Something in Bo's tone caught Steve's attention. He had a sneaking suspicion that Bo was not staying with Kim just to give her a shoulder to cry on.

"What's going on, Bo? Why are you staying at the house?"

Bo hesitated for a moment before answering. "The ISA pulled the protection from the house. Roman and me . . . we're keeping an eye on things for the time being."

"Andrew." Steve said quietly, feeling the guilt wash over him again. "You're worried about whoever is targeting Andrew."

Bo nodded. "The bodyguard's there too, and Roman has units at the house. We won't let anything happen to him."

"I know." Steve turned back to Bo. "Look . . . I'm sure Kim doesn't want me around, but if you need back-up or help or anything, just call me. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"I know you will." Bo clapped Steve on the shoulder. "But don't worry. We have things under control. But I'd better get going."

"Be careful, dude," Steve said holding out his hand. "And thanks - for everything."

"That's what friends are for." Bo shook Steve's hand. "Somehow this is all going to work out."

Steve nodded and watched as Bo headed down the pier. He thought about what Bo had said about the ISA pulling the protection from Andrew. Steve had never trusted the ISA, not even when he had worked for them, and everything that was happening now just proved he was right. The ISA had written Shane off after that explosion at Saul Taylor's camp and had nearly let him die in Stockholm. Now they were going to sell Shane down the river to cover up their mess.

_Come on_, he said to himself. _This is your mess as much as theirs._

Steve turned, stared back at the water, and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. This was his mess. And that meant he was the one who had to clean it up. He owed his family that much.


	214. Chapter 214

The FBI agent shoved Shane into a seat in the interrogation room and glared at him. It was the same agent that Shane had thrown during his arrest, though there was hardly any chance of history repeating itself with his hands shackled at his waist.

Shane was confused at being pulled from his cell. This could not be a meeting with Mickey; he had made it clear that they would wait until Monday before figuring out anything further. Roman or Abe would have come to the cell; they had both been by earlier to check on him, but he had not wanted to talk as he dwelled on Kim's visit. And it was night already. Shane knew that because it had been dark outside the windows as he was led through the station and he had been brought a sandwich for dinner at least an hour earlier. So why was he here?

His answer came a few minutes later when the door to the interrogation room opened.

"Tarrington?" Shane was surprised to see his boss - well, his former boss - standing in the doorway.

"Leave us," Tarrington ordered as he stepped inside. The FBI agent complied, closing the door behind him.

Shane watched as Tarrington crossed the room to a corner away from the table and Shane's seat. "I didn't expect you here," Shane said. "I mean . . . I knew you were in Salem, but I figured you'd want to stay as far away from scandal as possible."

"But there is no scandal, Shane," Tarrington replied. "The agency is covered. We did a great deal in the past few days after Devereaux contacted us for comment."

Shane shook his head. "A great deal for the ISA, but you couldn't even warn me? Or let me turn myself in? Instead, I had to be bloody well blindsided in front of my son."

"That was . . . unfortunate," Tarrington said. "But we could not appear to go lightly on you."

"No, I guess not."

Tarrington glanced at the door, as if making sure it was closed. "The Egyptian government is in an uproar; they're threatening to pull out of the coalition in Iraq. And that means-"

"My head on a silver platter." Shane knew exactly what it meant. He stood up, a bit awkwardly because his hands were locked in front of him, and began to pace. "So the AUSA is going to throw the kitchen sink into the indictment. What happened to the ISA lawyers thinking this was all a 'stretch'? Wasn't that what you told me?"

With a shrug, Tarrington answered, "You knew the risks, Shane."

_Yes, I did._ He could not deny that. He had taken the mission with his eyes open, and there was nothing he could do about it now.

"So what happens next?" he asked.

"Next?" Tarrington raised an eyebrow. "You go to prison, old chap."

Shane fully expected that answer, but maybe not voiced as directly. He still felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. Deep inside, not even really consciously, he had held onto some hope that Tarrington would toss him a lifeline. Shane leaned against the wall and stared up at the ceiling.

"Shane. . . ." He looked back at Tarrington, who was eyeing him closely. "Don't try to fight the charges. You won't win. The documents the government's 'unearthed' are quite damning. And you have no witnesses to help your case. Nobody will believe Johnson once we're done with him, and don't think the members of the ODA are going to come to your side. They'd be risking 10 to 20 years in prison if they did." Tarrington shook his head. "Besides . . . we'll guarantee the judge and jury."

"What?" Shane stared at Tarrington in disbelief. "Why? At least give me a fighting chance in a courtroom."

"I'm sorry, Shane, but that's not possible." Tarrington did not look at all disturbed. "The political risks are far too great. So I'm here to tell you. Don't fight this. If you do, you'll spend the rest of your life in prison."

Shane tried to raise his hands, but they caught on the chain latching the cuffs to his waist. He began to pace, trying to think. He had given the ISA more than 15 years of his life and they were not only going to leave him to fend for himself - which he could accept - but they were going to do everything in their power to ensure his conviction. _Don't fight this_. That was the message. Shane stopped pacing, realizing there was more to Tarrington's choice of words. "And if I don't fight . . . . There's a deal on the table?"

Tarrington smiled. "You always were a smart chap. We've spoken to the Department of Justice and they've agreed to a possible outcome that will appease our Egyptian allies and . . . well, let's just say . . . gives you a more palatable option."

"And what's that?" Shane felt nauseated at the thought, but he needed to know what a plea agreement might be like.

"You plead guilty - to treason so the government can show that it will not brook any actions that could hurt our effort in Iraq. And to one or more of the lesser charges. Most likely expedition against a friendly nation." Tarrington paused. "You'll be sentenced to five years, placed in administrative segregation at a federal penitentiary - we can arrange for it to be one near Salem so your son can visit - and, with good behavior, you'll be released in about three years."

Three years in prison. That was better than life, but still hard to swallow. It also meant he would have to admit to treason. Could he do that? He leaned back against the wall again. "I'll have to think about it."

Tarrington frowned. "There is one other condition to pleading guilty."

Just from Tarrington's tone, Shane knew he was not going to like this. _Like I'm supposed to have liked anything he's said so far_? he thought, bitterly.

"You're not an American citizen, Shane."

_No_, Shane thought. He knew what was coming even before Tarrington said it.

"After you serve your sentence, you'll forfeit your residency and be deported immediately to the United Kingdom."

Shane shook his head. "You can't do that," he insisted. "Andrew's here. You're saying I'd have to give up my son."

"Nonsense. You won't have to give him up, Shane." Tarrington looked at him like he failed to understand something obvious. "The boy could still visit you. It would just have to be outside the United States."

His mind reeling, Shane tried to process that. What would it mean? He would miss seeing his son grow up. How could he calm his son after a bad dream or give him advice on women - or just teach him what he needed to become a man - if Shane was stuck across the Atlantic? Even when Andrew was in California the year before, it was just a matter of catching a flight to go visit. And what if something happened to Andrew? If he got hurt. . . . There would be nothing Shane could do to help.

"Deportation is not negotiable, Shane," Tarrington said. "The United States cannot allow a foreigner convicted of treason to remain within its borders."

Shane turned away, still unable to believe this was happening. _All I did was try to save Steve. _Yes, Shane had been told the risks, but they had been distant and theoretical. This reality was not anything he could have imagined. He took a couple of deep breaths.

"I have to think about this, Tarrington."

"Shane-"

Shane cut him off, sharply. "I said I have to think about it!"

"Very well." Tarrington nodded and started toward the door. "But in case you need a little more impetus to take our quite-generous offer, let me add that . . . as soon as you agree to plead guilty, I will restore the ISA security at your house."

_What_? That couldn't mean what Shane thought it meant."You didn't," he said, angrily stepping forward. "You pulled the guards? But Kim and Andrew-"

"Are no longer the ISA's concern," Tarrington said.

"Dammit, Tarrington!" Shane was shouting again. "Alfred Jericho could be out there! Or Alamain! You can't just leave them unprotected."

"We can and we have." Tarrington reached the door. "But I assure you that agents will return to the house. All you have to do is agree to plead guilty."

Shane glared at him. _You're lucky my hands are cuffed_, he thought. _I'd rip you in two if I could._

Tarrington knocked on the door and waited for the FBI agent to open it from the other side. Once it opened, Tarrington said, "We're done here." Then, from inside the doorway, he turned back to Shane. "Think about my offer, Shane. And then think about Kimberly and your son. I would hate for anything to happen to them."

"You bloody bastard," Shane said.

"You knew the potential consequences when you chose to put Steve Johnson's life above your own. It's a shame. You were an excellent agent, Shane, but you never learned the most important lesson in our line of work. . . . Anyone is expendable." Tarrington shrugged. "Even you."


	215. Chapter 215

Kayla turned off the light in Stephanie's room and quietly pulled the door until it was almost closed. She was thankful that Steve had come home just in time to exhaust Stephanie with a bout of wrestling on the living room floor. She was not sure who had enjoyed the time more. She could see how much it meant to Steve to put his worries aside for a little while, and Stephanie's peals of laughter had made it clear how much she loved playing with her papa.

Walking into the living room, Kayla saw Steve sitting on the couch. His head was resting against the back and his eye was closed. She could see the weariness on his face and wondered if he was actually sleeping.

Suddenly, his eye opened and he sat up. He caught Kayla's eyes. "What are you doing standing over there, Sweetness?"

"Just watching you," Kayla said honestly. "I thought maybe you had fallen asleep."

"Not quite." Steve smiled. "But our daughter did a good job of wearing me out."

"Well, maybe we should turn in early then," Kayla suggested. "It would probably do us both some good."

Kayla saw Steve stiffen slightly. "No," he said, looking away from her. "I'm fine."

Kayla stared at Steve for a moment then walked over to the couch. Taking a seat beside him, she absently took his hand. She sat there silently as she contemplated the best way to approach what she knew would be a difficult subject. Finally she decided she just had to try and be honest.

"I don't think you're fine, Steve," she said softly. "I think you're exhausted, because you haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time. And I think you don't want to go to bed, because you're worried about having another nightmare tonight."

Steve shifted uncomfortably, but remained silent. That silence told Kayla she was right, so she decided to forge ahead. "Before I left for the capitol, your nightmares weren't that bad anymore. But, ever since I've been back, they've been worse again."

Steve looked at her curiously. "Are you trying to say you're responsible for my nightmares? Because that's definitely not true."

Kayla smiled slightly. "No, I don't think it's me. At least I hope it's not." She took a deep breath. "I think something happened while I was gone, and it's re-triggered those nightmares. And I think whatever happened is also why you started having these moments of feeling like the house isn't safe."

She watched carefully for Steve's reaction. She knew this was a sensitive subject for him and he had never been very comfortable talking to her about it. It had taken her a long time to understand that his hesitancy was largely about not wanting her to see him as weak or damaged. But the previous night, he had opened up about his fear and had allowed her to comfort him. She held her breath, hoping he would do the same thing tonight.

After a few moments, Steve finally spoke. "What makes you think that, Sweetness?"

Kayla let out the breath she had been holding. Just the fact that he was engaging her was a good sign. "I've been doing some reading on PTSD. It's not all that unusual for something to happen and cause things to get worse, even after they seemed to be under control."

Steve shrugged slightly. "I guess that makes sense, but I don't remember anything happening that would have triggered all of this."

Kayla thought back to what Steve had told her about his little adventure at Lawrence's house. He had not seem upset or traumatized by any of it. But she also remembered something Shane had said when she had visited his cell the day before. He had mentioned Steve losing it at Alamain's. Steve had never mentioned anything about that. All he had said was that, after they took him from the house, they had given him some drug to knock him out. Kayla had a feeling there was a missing piece to the puzzle in there somewhere.

"Maybe there's a reason you don't remember," she said, almost to herself. "You told me that they gave you something that knocked you out, and the next thing you remembered was waking up at ISA headquarters."

"Yeah," Steve replied. "One minute I was in the ambulance trying to get back to the house; the next minute I was waking up with Shane and some other ISA agent in my face."

"Do you remember them giving you anything?" Kayla asked. "If it happened that quickly, it would have had to have been a shot or maybe some kind of spray."

Steve sat silently for a moment and Kayla could see he was trying to remember. Eventually, he shook his head. "No, I don't remember."

"Can you tell me exactly what happened in that ambulance?" Kayla looked closely at Steve. "I just have a feeling it might be the key to what is happening now."

Steve stood up and paced slowly around the living room. "Like I said before, they gave me something that paralyzed me when they pulled me out of the wine cellar and put me into the ambulance. Once I was inside, they gave me something else that reversed the paralysis." He stopped pacing and Kayla could see him unconsciously flexing his hands and wrists.

"Steve," she called to him softly. When he turned and looked at her, she glanced down at his hands. His eye followed hers and he stared at his hands for a long moment. Then she saw him take several deep breaths and the flexing gradually stopped.

"What happened in the ambulance?" Kayla asked again, more certain than ever that this was important.

Steve closed his eye and spoke slowly, as if he was relaying each moment as he remembered it. "When I could move again, I shoved a guy out of my way and headed for the door. Another agent blocked the door and shoved me back. I went towards the door again when somebody grabbed me from behind. I turned and-" Steve stopped.

"What happened?" Kayla asked, keeping her voice clear and calm.

"Somebody grabbed my wrist." Steve looked down at his hands again. "That's the last thing I remember."

"You said Kim thought that your wrist might be some kind of trigger for your flashbacks." Kayla got up and walked over to Steve. "I think that's what happened. That agent grabbed you and you had a flashback. That's why you don't remember."

Steve nodded, but stepped away from Kayla. She followed and put her hand on Steve's shoulder. "You don't have to walk away from me, Steve. I'm not afraid of you."

"Maybe you should be, baby." He looked down at her. "I think the same thing happened at the Cheating Heart."

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked. She recalled him mentioning some kind of brawl he and Bo had gotten into, but she had been more concerned with the fight that he had with Shane.

"When Bo and I went to the Heart that next night," Steve said, again talking slowly. "We were talking and some guy challenged me to a game of pool. I went to the table, but I . . . I . . . I couldn't play. My heart started racing and the table went blurry. It was the strangest thing I'd ever felt."

Kayla frowned. That sounded like a panic attack. Didn't Kim say something in England about Steve possibly having trouble doing things he used to do? She decided not to try to explain it right now. She was more interested in how Steve reacted after that. After a long pause, she said, "So what happened?"

"Well I definitely couldn't play pool like that." Steve paced a little more. "I tried to walk away, but the guy kept jawing at me. I told him to back off and turned away again." He closed his eye, again taking several deep breaths before continuing, "Then he grabbed my wrist. The next thing I knew I was outside with Bo and Jimmy holding me down." He looked over at Kayla. "Bo said I went nuts and did some damage to the guy." He looked down at his hands again and gave a humorless chuckle. "I guess Shane and Abe are right. I am crazy."

"Don't," Kayla said, walking quickly to Steve. "You've got PTSD caused by going through months of torture. It's not your fault and you're not crazy."

"Come on, Kayla," Steve said sharply. "I apparently lose it if somebody grabs my wrist, and I can beat somebody up without even remembering it. How is that not crazy?"

"Having flashbacks doesn't mean you are crazy, Steve. It's just something you are going to have to work through and learn to control." Kayla took his hand again. "You were doing that when you were working with Kim. It's just going to take a little more time."

"And a new counselor," Steve added. "I don't think Kim's going to be interested in helping me anymore."

Kayla did not respond, but she suspected Steve was right. Then she remembered something else. "Maybe that's not such a bad thing," she said.

Steve looked at her curiously. "I know you weren't happy that I was talking to Kim, but I thought you got past that."

"I did," Kayla said quickly. "That's not what I meant." Looking down at Steve's hand resting in hers, she slowly moved her fingers up until they brushed against the faded, but still visible, scars. She felt Steve flinch slightly, but he did not pull away.

"What are you thinking, Kayla?" he asked, watching her fingers caress his wrist.

"I was thinking of something Kim mentioned in England. She said there's some new therapy for PTSD. It sounded kind of weird - something to do with eye movements and memory that helps people with traumatic memories." Kayla shrugged. "I don't really understand it, but Kim said it seemed to be promising."

"And you think I should check into it?" Steve sounded skeptical.

"I don't know," Kayla said honestly. "I just want you to be okay. If this new therapy can help, then maybe it's worth checking into."

Steve was silent for a moment. Then he looked at Kayla and said softly, "I know I don't want to feel like this anymore. I know I don't want to spend my life always being scared of what I might do. And I know that I can't fix this on my own."

Kayla smiled at Steve, feeling tears spring to her eyes. She ran her free hand down his face and looked him deeply in the eye. "I hope you also know that I have never been more proud of you than I am right now. I know that this is hard for you, but I also know that you can do it. You're the strongest person I know."

"I don't know about that, baby," Steve responded. "I don't feel very strong right now. But I know with you by my side, I'm a lot stronger than I could ever be alone."

"That's because we are both stronger together than we are apart." Kayla leaned up and kissed Steve softly. "It's always been that way."

Steve wrapped his arms around Kayla pulling her close. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the strong, steady heartbeat.

After a moment, she felt his hands brush her hair and then run down her arms. She shivered slightly at his touch and pulled her head back to look at him. Kayla stared again into Steve's eye, seeing the love and desire shining within it. Steve ran his hand down her cheek and then leaned down and kissed her deeply.

Kayla returned the kiss, pouring all of the love she felt for him into it. She clutched at Steve's hair as his lips traveled across her jaw and down to the spot on her neck that he knew so well.

She moaned softly as his hand found her breast through her blouse. Her body trembled and he lifted her effortlessly. In his arms, Kayla looked into his eye once more. Then they kissed again, and did not break apart until well after they had reached the bedroom.


	216. Chapter 216

It had to be morning, Shane thought, as he followed a crack in the floor back and forth across his cell. There was no way of knowing for sure. The cell block was dark and the little light that crept through the thick door at the end of the corridor was probably from the station's florescent lights.

He had spent a second restless, sleepless night in his cell. He kept picturing Andrew and Kim and the baby. They were defenseless while he was locked up in here. Who knew what Jericho might do to them?

"Damn," he spat for what was probably the hundredth time since he had been returned to the cell after his meeting with Tarrington.

_All you have to do is plead guilty._

It sounded so simple. _Plead guilty and your family will be safe. _

In three years, he could be back at Donovan Manor, but he would be a half-world away from his son. Yet that had to be better than spending a lifetime in prison. It wasn't like he would be able to tuck Andrew into bed or teach him how to catch a football if he was in prison anymore than if he were in England. Except in prison, he might get a chance to see Andrew more than once or twice a year. Even if it was in a visitor's room.

_There has to be another way_, he thought. His mind just could not come up with one.

Tarrington was right about one thing. He could not call on Nowicki, Deakins or any of the other soldiers in the ODA. Even if they agreed to testify, they would be putting themselves in the same boat that Shane was now in. He could not ask them to do that - especially after they saved his life in Iraq.

For a moment, he wondered why that had even happened. What good did it do to survive Egypt and Iraq only to wind up here? No, he couldn't think like that. Steve and Deakins were alive because of Egypt, Ahmed Salim was alive because of what happened in Iraq, and the world was better off that the Iraqis were not using his knowledge to build nuclear weapons.

Shane stopped pacing and started to laugh at the irony of his thoughts. After all that was happening, here he was, still believing that the ISA could actually do some good.

He walked over to the metal bench, sat down, and rested his head in his hands. What was he going to do? Leaning back, he pressed his head against the back wall and stared up at the ceiling. _Get used to the view_, he told himself, then shut his eyes. He pictured Kim at the house. He knew she was worried, even though she had tried to be strong when she visited him the day before. He wondered if the ISA had already left the house; she would never have told him, thinking it better not to worry him than let him know they were in increased danger.

Was Mike still there? For an instant, Shane was sure Mike had left. Why would he stick around to protect a traitor's family? But then he remembered that he had chosen Mike because he understood duty and dedication. No, Mike was probably still at the house. Shane just wondered if he would be enough if Jericho or Alamain's people came calling.

_All I have to do is plead guilty and they'll be safe_. Tarrington knew Shane too well. He knew exactly how to put the screws to him. Better than any physical torture, the emotional strain of worrying about his family's safety would break him.

_Just plead guilty._

What would that mean? He would have to admit to being a traitor. Could he do that? Could he really say that he betrayed the country? If he fought the charges, even if he were convicted, he could at least hold his head up and claim innocence.

However, that meant years in prison. He could get out in three years if he just confessed to being a traitor. But to do that, Shane had to say out loud that he had willingly betrayed everything that he held sacrosanct. Duty, loyalty, honor. He had spent a lifetime trying to live up to those ideals, but that would mean nothing. Traitors had no honor. They knew nothing of loyalty. Their only duty was to themselves.

_Shane Donovan. Traitor._

If he pled guilty, that's who he would be. A traitor and a stain on the Donovan name he held so dear. And what about Andrew? He would grow up being "the traitor's son."

That was probably going to happen regardless, wasn't it? But at least if Shane fought the charges, Andrew could learn what it meant to stand up for something. In time, he would learn to tell people that his father was no traitor.

So Shane could save face in front of his son. Wasn't that what Shane was really thinking? Was that worth it if it meant never being able to go riding with Andrew again? Or not being able to attend Andrew's wedding? Or-

The heavy groan of the metal door jarred him out of his anguished thoughts. "Shane," came Roman's voice from down the hall.

Shane got up and crossed over to the bars. Roman was pulling the door closed while trying not to drop a tray. _It must be morning_, Shane figured. Shane said nothing as Roman walked over and got a look at him.

"Guess I don't have to ask how the night went," Roman said.

"No, not really," Shane answered.

Roman set down the tray, unlocked the door and carried it in. That caused Shane to let out a sickly, half-hearted laugh.

"You're not afraid of the martial arts expert kicking your arse and escaping?"

"Nope." Roman said, setting the tray on the sink. "Besides, there's an FBI agent right outside the cellblock door, so I wouldn't try it if I were you. Here . . . Alice Horton brought some food over. I think she even made some doughnuts especially for you."

This time, Shane chuckled in earnest. "Didn't you ban Alice's doughnuts from the cellblocks?" He looked at the tray and, sure enough, there were several doughnuts sitting on it.

"I'm making an exception this time," Roman said, laughing himself. He had been the one to eat the famous drugged doughnut. "But if you get sick, we have to bring the doctor to you. Our FBI friends won't let you go to a hospital."

Shane sighed. "Would you tell Alice I appreciate it. . . . I'm just not very hungry."

Roman walked back outside the cell. He closed and locked the door. "I guess I know why. I heard you had a visitor last night."

With the distraction of Roman's arrival, Shane realized he had momentarily forgotten about Tarrington's threat. Guilt flooded him, as he anxiously started to ask, "Kim-"

"She's fine." Roman gave him a reassuring nod. "So's Andrew . . . and Jeannie."

"Tarrington said the ISA pulled out," Shane explained. "I was so worried, Roman. They're in danger and the bloody ISA won't lift a hand to keep them safe."

"They're safe. Your man, Mike, is there, and Bo spent the night. He's going to stay there until you get home. And we have two Salem PD units outside the house - one on the lake and one on the street. We're not gonna let you down, partner."

For the first time since the night before, Shane felt some of his panic and worry subside. "Thanks," he said sincerely.

"You don't have to thank us," Roman replied. "Nobody's going to hurt Kim or the kids." He paused for a moment. "So what did Tarrington say?"

Shane looked up at the ceiling. "Let's just say it was nothing good. . . . I'm in deep, Roman, and it doesn't look like I have any good options." He took a deep breath and then looked back at his best friend. "I'm not going to be able to protect them. No matter what happens, I'm not going to. . . ." Shane let his voice trail off, unable to finish the sentence again. "I need you to promise me something," he said.

"You don't have to ask," Roman said. "We'll keep them safe. But come on. . . ." He seemed to smile, but Shane could tell it was forced and just for his benefit. "You're gonna get through this."

Shane wished he could believe it, but he lowered his head and looked away. "No, Roman. . . . This time, I don't think I am."


	217. Chapter 217

Kim looked across the table. "Come on, Andrew, just eat a little of your sandwich."

"I'm not hungry," he said, pushing away his plate.

Kim sighed and looked at Bo, who shrugged his shoulders. Carly was bringing Shawn Douglas over in a little while. Maybe having his cousin here would help Andrew.

"Go on," Kim said. Andrew picked up his plate, carried it to the sink, and ran out of the room. She watched him leave.

"He'll be okay." Bo sounded so certain. "The gov'nor will be back tomorrow and things will start going back to normal."

She turned to face him. "For how long? Shane wouldn't tell me much, but he said he could go to jail for a long time."

"Hang in there, Kimber." Bo reached out and touched her hand. "It'll be okay."

"I know," she said, wondering if she truly believed it or if she was just trying to convince herself. No, she believed in Shane. He had gotten out of tight scrapes before and he would this time. Kim started to say that, but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She grimaced. "I hope it's not another reporter." Weren't the police supposed to be keeping them away? She knew Mike would beat her to the door, but she went anyway.

"Chief Tarrington," she said, shocked to see the head of the ISA in the foyer. There were three other men with him. Two were wearing coveralls.

He looked at her with a solemn expression and simply said, "Kimberly." Then he pointed down the hallway to the other men. "It's that way."

"What are you doing?" Kim asked.

"If you must know, we have a court order authorizing the removal of all files, records and equipment belonging to the ISA." He gave her a cold look that she had never seen before. "We're here to dismantle the ISA communications room. Now, if you'll excuse me." He turned away from her and started down the hallway to Shane's study.

Kim was outraged. She started forward, but someone grabbed her from behind.

"Don't," Bo whispered in her ear. "If they have a court order, let them go. You don't want anything to happen to you."

"Of course not," she said, trying to quell her anger. _How dare they_? _After everything Shane did for them_? _He had given everything he had for the ISA._ She pulled her arm free, stomped her feet, and growled, "How dare they!"

The doorbell rang again and this time Kim did not let Mike reach it first. She jerked it open. "If you're coming for your pound of flesh-"

"Hi, Sis," Roman said.

Abashed, Kim stepped back to let him in. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He looked at her and Bo. "I gather things haven't been so hot around here?"

Bo answered. "The ISA just showed up and started ripping out Shane's communications room."

"Yeah. They didn't even wait for the body to get cold," Kim muttered, then realized what she had said. "Oh, God, I didn't mean that."

"Hey, it's okay." Roman wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She needed that and let him hold her for a moment before she pulled away. "So how's Shane?" Then she realized that the ISA was just down the hall. "Let's go into the kitchen." Bo and Roman followed her until they reached the kitchen where she turned and repeated her question. "How's Shane?"

Roman frowned.

"I guess that's my answer," she said.

"He's worried about you and the kids," Roman explained.

That sounded like Shane. Worried about them when he should be focused on his own problems.

Roman glanced at the door. "Tarrington met with Shane last night and offered him a deal. He said-"

Kim cut him off. "I don't want to hear it. For Shane to plead guilty, he'd have to admit that he betrayed his country and the ISA." She shook her head. "He wouldn't be able to live with that." Kim began to pace. "You probably don't remember when Shane was charged with treason-"

"Of course I remember that," Roman said. He glanced at Bo, who looked down at the floor, a guilty expression on his face.

"I mean you remember Shane being charged, but what you don't know is that the ISA offered him a deal back then." Kim could remember being at Shenanigans when the ISA representative made Shane the offer. "They told him he could confess and point the blame at his old boss and he wouldn't be charged at all. Shane couldn't do that. Not even when he could've been executed for giving secrets to the Russians. He wouldn't do it then, and he certainly won't do it now."

Roman took a deep breath. "He might to protect you and Andrew."

"Protect us?" It took Kim a minute to realize what Roman meant. "The guards? The ISA removed the guards to pressure Shane?"

"I told him you're safe," Roman said. "I told him Abe and I put Salem PD units here."

_That's not the point_, Kim thought. She spun and, before anyone could stop her, she was charging down the hallway to Shane's study. She found Chief Tarrington inside the door, observing as the men in coveralls removed equipment from the communications room.

"How dare you!" she yelled at Tarrington.

He turned and gave her a placid look. "Kimberly, I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, don't give me that. I mean using Andrew to pressure Shane to plead guilty," she shouted angrily. "Don't deny it. It's not enough that you're selling Shane out. You're putting a little boy in danger to force him to go along with it. Is that what the great and mighty ISA is all about?"

She felt someone put a hand on her shoulder. "Kimmie, stop it," Roman said quietly.

"No, I won't!" She spun around and faced him. "After everything Shane's given the ISA. . . . He deserves better." She turned back and glared at Tarrington. "We deserve better."

In a cool voice, Tarrington responded. "Kimberly, Shane knew the risks. He knew what would happen if the public learned of the raid on that compound. Unfortunately, he placed his faith in the wrong man."

He meant Steve, Kim knew. Tarrington was blaming everything on Steve. "That's not the point. Whatever Steve did and whatever Shane knew, you have no right to put Andrew's life in danger to pressure Shane. He's a little boy. He's not a pawn in some ISA game."

Tarrington remained calm. "I understand how you feel, but Shane Donovan is no longer in the ISA. We cannot justify any expenditures for a personal matter."

_A personal matter. _Kim fell silent and stared at the ISA Chief in disbelief. She had always thought Tarrington was their friend - at least, Shane's friend. Now she was seeing him truly for the first time.

"I thought you were different," Kim said quietly. "I thought you weren't like Nickerson or Vaughn, that you had some loyalty and wouldn't sell out one of your own people. . . ." She shook her head as Roman pulled her toward the door, but kept her eyes fixed on Tarrington. "Now I know the truth. You're just as rotten as the others. The whole ISA. You're all just rotten."

She turned and looked at Roman. Bo was also standing in the doorway. "Let's get out of here," she said bitterly. "I can't take the stench any longer."


	218. Chapter 218

Steve paced nervously around the living room. It had only been a few minutes since Kayla had called Marlena and asked her to come over, and Steve was already wondering if it had been a mistake.

After he and Kayla had made love the previous night, he had drifted off to sleep, hopeful that the night would be peaceful. But it was not to be. Just as he had every night since Kayla returned from the capitol, he had awoken to find Kayla calling to him from the foot of the bed. Then, unable to stop himself, he had checked the doors and windows and had entered Stephanie's room, needing to know that she was okay.

He had been standing there, watching his daughter sleep when Kayla had come in the room. She had taken his hand and led him back to their bed and, just as she had the other night, had held him in her arms until he fell asleep.

When he had awoken in the morning, he had decided that he would look into the therapy Kayla had suggested. It had been Kayla's idea to call Marlena and ask her to come over. After a moment's hesitation, Steve had agreed. Now he was not so sure.

He had meant what he had said to Kayla the night before about not wanting to feel this way anymore. But it had been hard enough to talk to Kim - somebody he knew and trusted. He was not sure he could talk to a stranger about what had happened.

"Steve?" He stopped pacing as he heard Kayla calling to him.

"Yeah, baby."

"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you don't calm down." Kayla smiled tenderly. "It's going to be okay; we're just talking to Marlena."

"That's assuming she wants to talk to me," Steve said bitterly. "I'm actually surprised she agreed to come over at all."

Kayla walked over and took Steve's hand. "Marlena's a friend and she is also family. I know it might be hard to see right now, but no matter what is going on, that still means something."

Steve nodded, not sure if he believed her or not. He knew that Bo was on his side, or was at least willing to try and understand, but he doubted the rest of the Brady family felt the same way. Aside from Shawn's early morning visit the previous day, there had been no contact with the rest of the family. Steve knew it was probably easier that way, but he also knew that, as much as she tried to pretend otherwise, the distance was hurting Kayla.

Steve pulled Kayla to him. "I'm sorry, baby. I hate that I put you in the middle of this."

"I know," Kayla said simply.

A giggle from Stephanie caught their attention. Steve smiled as he saw his daughter standing in her playpen smiling at her parents. He released Kayla, walked over, picked up Stephanie, and swung her up in the air.

"You think Mama and Papa are ignoring you, Little Sweetness?" Steve said, as he held Stephanie in his right arm He walked back to where Kayla was standing and put his free arm around Kayla's shoulders. Somehow having both Kayla and Stephanie in his arms made Steve almost believe that everything might really be okay someday.

That momentary hope seemed to flee as Steve heard the knock on the door. Kayla gave him a comforting smile, walked to the door, and answered it.

"Marlena," Kayla said as she opened the door. "Thanks for coming. Please come in."

Marlena walked into the living room. "Hello, Steve," she said in a friendly tone. Smiling at Stephanie, she said, "And you get prettier every time I see you."

"Hi," Steve replied, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "Uh . . . thanks for coming over."

"Kayla said it was important," Marlena replied. "So what can I do for you two?" She hesitated, then asked, "Is this about Shane's arrest?"

"No," Steve said, shaking his head. Marlena looked at him expectantly, but Steve did not say anything more.

They all stood in awkward silence until Kayla walked over to Steve and took Stephanie from him. She put Stephanie back in her playpen and then turned to Marlena.

"Please, sit down."

Marlena complied and took a seat in the chair. Kayla took Steve's hand and pulled him over to the couch where they sat down as well. Steve could feel Kayla's eyes on him, but for the life of him he did not know how to start. Finally, Kayla broke the silence.

"I called and asked you to come over, because Steve and I wanted to get some professional advice from you."

Marlena's eyes widened in surprise. "Well . . . you know I'll help however I can. What kind of advice do you need?"

Kayla was silent and Steve felt her elbow him in the ribs. Taking a deep breath, he hesitantly started to explain. "I guess you know now that the whole Cincinnati thing was a crock." Seeing Marlena nod in agreement, Steve continued. "After Shane got me out of the hellhole Alamain put me in, I was pretty messed up. I . . . uh . . . had nightmares and . . . flashbacks and . . . some other stuff going on with my head."

Marlena again nodded. "That's understandable given what happened to you."

"I guess so." Steve ran his hand through his hair and adjusted his patch. "Kim was there in England with us and she told me that I probably had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is . . . or was . . . working with me on it."

"Was it helping?" Marlena asked.

Steve nodded. "It took a little while, but I started talking to her about some of the things that had happened, and the nightmares and flashbacks seemed to get better."

"But?" Marlena seemed to know there was more to it.

Steve took another deep breath. Kayla was holding his hand and gently stroking his arm. He turned and looked at her, grateful for her support. "But then something happened, and it seems to have caused things to get worse again." He paused and looked down. "And with what's happened with Shane, I'm pretty sure Kim doesn't want to have anything to do with me, let alone help me with whatever's going on in my head."

Steve noticed Marlena's silence but continued. "Anyway, Kayla said that Kim had mentioned some new eye therapy that's being used to treat PTSD. So . . . we were hoping maybe you could help us with that."

Marlena was silent for a moment, then spoke. "If you are asking me to treat you, I'm not sure I'm the right person to do that."

Steve's heart sank at Marlena's words. He looked over at Kayla and saw the disappointment in her eyes. She had been certain that, even with the conflict within the family, Marlena would still be willing to help. But he had done too much damage for even her family to forgive.

"That's okay," he finally responded, still unable to look at Marlena. "I understand. You and Kim and Shane go way back. I guess I can't blame you for not wanting to help me."

"No, that's not it at all," Marlena replied quickly. Steve raised his head and looked at Marlena in surprise.

"Then why won't you help us?" Kayla asked, her voice conveying her confusion.

Marlena sighed. "It's not about what's going on with Shane. No matter what my feelings about that issue might be, I would never refuse to help you and Steve because of it." She paused for a moment. "It's just that when I . . . left, we were just starting to get a better understanding of PTSD. There's been a lot of development in that field in the last 5 years, but I missed most of it. I've read about the new eye therapy as well, but it's not something I could do myself."

"Oh," Steve replied, unsure of what else to say. He looked at Kayla and shrugged. "It was worth a shot, but I guess we're out of luck, baby."

"Not necessarily," Marlena said with a small smile. "One of my colleagues, Dr. Friedman, has been more experience with treating PTSD. I'm sure he's familiar with the new treatment. I'd be happy to contact him for you."

Steve was silent. He knew that accepting Marlena's offer would mean committing himself to something completely unknown and committing to work with a complete stranger. He turned and looked at Kayla, a question in his eyes.

Kayla nodded softly, "It will be okay, Steve. I know you can do this." Steve could see the faith in him shining in her eyes.

Slowly, he turned back to Marlena and nodded. "I'd appreciate it if you could give Dr. Friedman a call."

"I'll do it right now," Marlena responded. She stood up and walked to the phone, pulling a small book from her purse. It only took a moment to her to find the number and she quickly dialed. Steve listened as she spoke with her colleague and gave him a brief description of Steve's case. Within minutes, Steve had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon.

"Thank you, James," Marlena said, hanging up the phone. Then she turned to Steve and smiled. "You're all set. Dr. Friedman is looking forward to working with you."

"Thanks," Steve said softly.

"We really appreciate your help," Kayla added.

"I'm glad I could help," Marlena replied. "Now, I better get going. I have a couple of children who are waiting to go to the park this afternoon."

Steve and Kayla said their goodbyes and Marlena left the apartment. As Kayla headed to the kitchen to prepare Stephanie's lunch, Steve picked up his daughter and put her in his lap as he sat down on the couch. As Stephanie smiled up at him with eyes full of love and trust, Steve knew he had made the right decision. Now he just hoped he could do what was necessary to earn the love and trust that his wife and daughter had placed in him.


	219. Chapter 219

Kim took a deep breath and steeled herself as she entered the federal courthouse. Bo walked in front of her, clearing the way through the reporters. She tried to shut them out, ignoring the questions they shouted at her.

There were more of them inside and, in the tight hallways, it was harder to push past them.

"Let us through," Bo growled. A minute later, Roman came to aid them. He put an arm around Kim's shoulders.

"Come on, Sis."

With her brothers escorting her, they carved a path to the courtroom where Shane would be arraigned. Just outside, Kim saw Jack Devereaux. She glared at him, almost daring him to approach her, but he flushed and looked down at the floor. _He almost looks embarrassed_, she thought.

They entered the courtroom and pushed past a TV camera. Kim spotted Mickey on the other side of the rail that separated the spectators from the attorneys.

"Have you seen Shane?" she asked when she got close enough to him.

He nodded. "We met this morning and discussed the arraignment." He hesitated and took a deep breath like he was debating telling her something, but then he said, "Kim . . . You should know the indictment's not going to be pretty. They're charging Shane with everything they can."

"What's that mean?" Roman said.

"Murder and conspiracy to commit murder for six of the people who died in that compound-"

"But the article says they were shooting," Kim said. "How can that be murder?"

Mickey shook his head. "The government says these six were unarmed scientists. They're also charging him with treason and espionage, plus violating some other laws that you might never have heard of." He gave her a sympathetic look. "I just want you to be prepared. This is just a show of force. Things can change between now and trial."

After her experience with Tarrington the day before, she understood. They were trying to ratchet up the pressure to force Shane to plead guilty. They did not want the truth coming out about the mission. "Okay," she said. "Thank you, Mickey."

Bo and Roman helped her to a seat next to Marlena. Kim glanced around at the numerous spectators. Maggie Horton and Julie Williams were on the other side of the room. Jack had entered and once again looked away when their eyes met. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see her mother. Her father was right next to her. She smiled up at them, grateful that they had come. Despite everything that had happened between them, and all their anger at Shane over the past year, they were here now, where they were needed.

"Ms. Brady," came a voice to Kim's right. She turned to see a dark-haired woman in a burgundy suit. She had a notepad in hand.

"She's not talking to reporters," Bo snarled.

"Please, just hear me out," the woman said. "My name is Rachel Knight. I'm from the Boston Globe, and I know Captain Donovan. We met last month in Saudi Arabia."

_Saudi Arabia_? Kim was perplexed for a minute, then remembered the mission Shane had taken to escape from Donovan Manor. _To escape from me_, she thought.

Rachel lowered her voice. "I suspected he was ISA, and knew there was more between him and the Special Forces unit." She looked at Kim carefully. "I know there's more going on here than meets the eye."

Kim could not process that now. _ISA. Special Forces_. She just shook her head.

"Look, lady," Bo said. "My sister's not talking to reporters, so leave her alone."

"Fine," Rachel said in a haughty manner. She glanced around the room. "Perhaps I'll just ask Mr. Johnson."

Kim jerked her head around to see where Rachel was looking. Just inside the door, Steve and Kayla had entered the courtroom. Kim felt her body grow hot as her rage built._ How dare they show up here_, she thought. After their lies and betrayals, they had no business being here.

She started to rise, but Bo stopped her. "Don't do it," he warned.

Roman obviously knew what she was feeling, because he added, "Yeah, Sis. The last thing you want to do is make a scene in front of a bunch of reporters."

Knowing he was right, Kim sat and stewed until the bailiff ordered everyone to rise and the judge entered. He was an elderly, white-haired man, who, from the way he spoke, made her think he could rival Shawn Brady as Salem's biggest curmudgeon. He took the bench and ordered that the defendant be brought in. Kim leaned forward expectantly, anxious to see Shane.

The door on the opposite side of the room opened and Shane entered. She felt a burst of relief that he seemed okay. That turned to anger when she saw that his hands were cuffed and shackled to a chain around his waist. Roman had warned her this might happen, but it still made her furious. The first glimpse most people got of Shane would be on the news tonight, and he would be cuffed like he was a dangerous criminal. She turned her head to where Steve was sitting. _I hope you're happy now._

The next few minutes sped by. The court clerk read a long list of charges. Exactly as Mickey had said, they had included just about everything they could. Kim kept her eyes on Shane. He stood almost perfectly still. To almost anyone else, he would have appeared to be showing no emotion, but Kim saw the slight tremor in his jaw and the way he grew pale when the clerk said certain words like "murder" and "treason."

After the charges were read, Shane pled not guilty. Kim suspected that only she noticed the tiny waver in his voice. Then the AUSA stood up. According to Roman, his name was Pasqua. Kim just knew him as the man outside the house who warned her to keep back as they dragged Shane away. Pasqua began arguing that Shane should be remanded without bail.

"Former Captain Donovan is a flight risk," Pasqua argued. "He's a foreign national, with training in covert operations. He also is quite wealthy and could easily falsify a passport. Under these circumstances, bail should be denied."

Mickey rose to Shane's defense. "Captain Donovan is a respected member of this community, where he has lived for most of the past decade. His actions have saved numerous lives, including by stopping Stefano DiMera's plot to blow up part of this city, by rescuing Salem residents who were stranded after a shipwreck near Italy and after that train accident in the mountains a few months ago, and he was responsible for shutting down a major drug operation that would have greatly damaged the fabric of Salem society - a mission, I may add, that nearly cost Captain Donovan his life. I could go on, but those events alone should prove his strong connection to Salem. However, I will add that Captain Donovan has a young son in Salem to whom he is very devoted and would never leave. He is no flight risk."

When Mickey finished, the judge thought for a moment. He looked at Pasqua. "Counsel, I assume the authorities have removed any equipment and materials the defendant received from the ISA?" When Pasqua answered yes, the judge mulled things over briefly then said, "I think that should limit the defendant's opportunity to flee. Due to the seriousness of the charges, bail is set at $10 million, cash or bond. The defendant is to surrender his passport and any ISA travel credentials, including any he might have from the United Kingdom." He looked at Shane carefully. "You're fortunate that I am in a good mood this morning. Don't do anything to make me regret granting you bail."

With that, the judge dismissed the proceedings. Kim was on her feet in an instant, but Shane was led out of the room before she could get close to him. She reached Mickey. "Ten million dollars? How's Shane going to come up with that much?"

"It's okay," Mickey said. "We're arranging a bond. It's just going to take a little while."

Marlena took her hand. "I'm sure Mickey's right. Let's get you home."

"No," Kim said. "I'm not leaving until Shane is freed. I don't care how long it takes."

"Look, let's not have an argument in front of the press," Mickey said. "Okay, you'll stay. I'll call my associate to see if we can speed things up." He glanced at Roman. "Why don't you all go over to the conference room across the hall and I'll let you know when we have the bond arranged?"

That was good enough for now, so Kim turned and headed for the door. She passed the female reporter, Rachel whatever-her-name-was, and Jack, who kept his head buried in his notepad. Steve and Kayla were standing near the door.

"Kim," Kayla said, the apology plain in her voice, but Kim ignored her._ I can't talk to her here. I'll lose control_. Bo stopped to say something to them, but Roman remained with Kim and escorted her to the conference room.

"It really would be better if you went home," Roman said. "Mickey or me. One of us can drive Shane home as soon as he makes bail."

Kim shook her head. "I said I'm not leaving without Shane."

For the next few hours, she stayed there with her parents, Roman, Marlena, and Bo, who came in a little while later. Kim kept telling them they could leave, but they refused. Time seemed to creep by as Kim waited anxiously.

Finally, just after noon, the door opened and Shane walked in with Mickey. Kim could see Shane was exhausted. Trying to remain stoic in the courtroom had probably sapped the last of his strength.

"Are you okay?" he asked her. "Andrew?"

"We're all fine," she said, smiling.

Shane stood there silently, as if searching for something else to say. Kim wanted to hug him, but stopped herself. She did not know how Shane would react.

"It's okay, lad," Shawn said, breaking the silence. "We're all behind you."

Shane nodded slightly and Kim detected a faint trace of a smile pass his lips. "Thanks," he said quietly. His eyes did not meet her father's.

Kim stepped forward and took Shane's arm. "Let's go home," she said and led him to the door.

"Why don't I pull the car around the back?" Bo asked. Kim nodded. It was a good idea. The last thing Shane needed was to be surrounded by a swarm of reporters.

After giving Bo a head start, Roman led them out the back and Bo met them with the car. Mercifully, the reporters seemed to be in the front of the courthouse or over at the police station. Gratefully, Kim climbed into the back seat of the car with Shane, while Bo joked about always wanting to be a chauffeur.

Shane said nothing during the drive home, but just stared silently out the window. Kim had no idea what he was thinking, but she did not push. This was not the time to try to get him to open up.

Instead, she reached over and squeezed his hand. "Andrew will be so excited to see you." She realized that was probably the wrong thing to say when he blanched and pulled his hand away.

"What do I say to him?" Shane said, his voice so soft, she wondered if he even realized he was talking aloud.

"He loves you," Kim replied. "Just having you there is all that matters. Just tell him that you love him."

Shane closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, he just continued to stare out the window. He said nothing further until they drove past the crowd of reporters, who were being kept back by a couple of Salem's finest, and pulled up in front of the house.

Mike and Simmons met them at the door.

"It's good to have you back, Sir," Simmons said.

"Thank you," Shane answered with a tight smile. Then he turned to Mike and thanked him for staying.

"I don't know what we would have done without you," Kim added, sincere in her gratitude. Mike said it was nothing and headed out the door to check with the police officers outside.

"Andrew's upstairs with his tutor, Sir. Would you like me to get him?" Simmons asked.

Shane seemed to tense.

"Shane, it's okay," Kim said.

"No. . . . It's not okay," Shane said, his voice rising sharply. He stopped short. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." Then he looked at the stairs for a moment, as if he was debating going up to the second floor. After a few minutes, he said, "I . . . I can't see him right now."

He did not get a choice. An instant later, Andrew's voice echoed from the staircase. "Daddy!" he shouted as he came barreling down the stairs.

"Hey, Sport," Shane said, crouching down and enveloping Andrew in a hug. Kim could hear the tension in his voice.

"I missed you so much, Daddy," Andrew said, and Kim wondered if his anger at Shane was gone or just forgotten momentarily.

"And I missed you," Shane replied. "But everything's okay now," he said. To Kim's ears, it sounded forced. "Everything's okay."

"Where were you?" Where did the bad men take you?" Andrew asked, stepping back from Shane.

Shane tensed up again and stammered, "I. . . ."

Kim came to his rescue. "Andrew, your father just got home. Why don't you let him get cleaned up and you can play later? Besides, I believe you're supposed to be reading with Mrs. Thompson."

Shane looked momentarily grateful, then turned back to Andrew. "Just give me a little while, Sport."

"I'll take Master Andrew back to his tutor, Sir," Simmons said. He took Andrew's hand and they started up the stairs. Andrew looked back over his shoulder with a scowl, giving Kim the answer to her earlier question. Andrew's anger had just been momentarily forgotten.

Once they disappeared from view, Kim turned to Shane. "You have to talk to him."

"I know," Shane said. "I . . . I just need to figure out what to tell him." He backed away from the stairs. "I . . . I think I'm going to go outside. Maybe some air will help."

Kim decided not to push. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," Shane said quickly as he started for the back door. "I think I need to be alone."


	220. Chapter 220

You sure you want to do this, baby?" Steve said, as he drove past the throng of reporters and pulled to a stop in front of the gray mansion. "If you want to stay in the car-"

Kayla shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. They're my family."

_And they're pissed off at me - with every right to be. _"All right," Steve said. He got out of the car, walked over to Kayla, put an arm around her shoulder and slowly approached the house. Kayla rang the bell and they waited a few minutes until the door was opened by a man Steve did not recognize.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah . . . . We're here to see Kim and Shane." She paused. "Oh . . . you must be Andrew's bodyguard. It's Mike, isn't it? I'm Kayla, Kim's sister. This is my husband, Steve." From the look Mike gave, it was clear he knew exactly who Steve was.

"Mike, who's there?" Kim's voice carried down the hall on the other side of the door. She came into view. "Oh."

Kayla sounded exasperated. "Kimmie, would you please let us come in? We'd like to explain."

For a moment, Steve seriously wondered if Kim would agree, but she finally gave a curt nod. Mike stepped out of the doorway and they walked inside.

"Where's Shane?" Steve asked.

Kim looked at him. "I think you're the last person Shane wants to see." She gave him a withering glare. "You'd be dead by now if not for him. Did you even think about that for a second? Or were you so mad about a stupid job that you needed revenge and it didn't matter what might happen?"

If she had been yelling at him, it probably would have been less harsh. Something about the disappointment in Kim's voice made it worse.

"It wasn't like that," Kayla said. "You have to-"

"Sweetness." Steve cut her off. "It's okay. Kim's got every right to be angry. I'd be a lot madder than she is."

"You have no idea how mad I am," Kim said. Steve detected an undercurrent of anger in her voice.

Steve lowered his head. "I don't want to cause trouble. I . . . I just want to talk to Shane - to apologize and explain." He hoped she could tell he was being sincere. "Please, Kim. I need to talk to him."

There was a long silence, but finally Kim relented. "Fine. He's on the lakeside." As Steve turned and started for the back door, he heard Kim add, "He's not in a good place right now. Don't hurt him any more."

Steve doubted that was possible, but he just nodded and headed for the back. A few minutes later, he emerged through the garden gate onto the grassy expanse between the house and the lake. Shane was standing in the distance, near the water's edge.

His legs feeling like lead, Steve slowly made his way down to the water. When he got close enough to be heard, he called out Shane's name. Shane turned, his eyes widening in surprise. He recovered quickly and when he spoke, he betrayed no emotion.

"Steve . . . I didn't expect to see you here."

Steve looked down at the grass. "Yeah . . . well, I am." He kicked a nearby rock. "I wanted to talk to you, to try to explain. And to tell you I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He was surprised that Shane had not cut him off. In fact, once Steve finished, Shane just looked at him for a minute, then turned back to the lake. Shane did not respond.

"Come on, dude," Steve said. "Let me have it."

Shane remained silent.

Steve extended his arms out to the side. "I'm serious, Shane. I screwed up. Get pissed. Hit me. Hell . . . use some of that Kung Fu mumbo jumbo. Beat the crap out of me. I deserve it."

He saw a small smile play on Shane's lips for a moment, but then it disappeared. Shane continued to look out over the water as he said, "A couple of days ago, I wanted to tear you apart. And I would've if I'd had the chance." He shook his head. "I was so bloody mad. I probably walked a couple of miles back-and-forth in that cell, wishing I could break your neck."

"Then do it," Steve said.

"And then both our children can grow up without their fathers?" Shane shoved his hands in his pants pockets and took a few steps along the path that circled the lake. "Is that really what you want?"

"At least you should be mad."

"Trust me, I was. And I probably still am." Shane's voice never wavered. "But what's the point? I've got maybe two, three months to spend with my son before they lock me away. It seems like a bloody waste of time being angry with you." He shrugged. "Besides, the more I thought about it, the more it didn't really matter who talked. It was stupid of me to think the truth wouldn't come out. Any member of the ODA could've let it slip. Then there were the pilots, the doctors in Cyprus, and a whole mess of people at the ISA who might have leaked the story. Any one of them could have done it."

"But they didn't," Steve snapped. If Kim's disappointment had hurt him, Shane's calm reaction was even harder to take. "I was the one who gave you my word. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I did - to the worst person possible."

Shane seemed to think for a moment as he continued to stare out over the water. "So then . . . why did you tell Jack?"

Steve was glad at least that Shane wanted to know. Maybe the truth would bring his anger out. "I got drunk," Steve said. "After I slugged you at Wings, I wound up at the Heart. I guess Jimmy saw me tossing those drinks back and he called Kayla, and she called my baby brother to come get me. She figured I needed to talk." Shane's shoulders seemed to shake and Steve thought for a moment that he might be laughing. No, he _was_ laughing. In disbelief, Steve thought, _What the hell is going on_? He raised his voice, trying to get Shane riled. "So I talked! I don't even remember doing it, but I talked. Told him everything that was in that damn article."

"So you were drunk and angry, and you can't even remember if you intended to do it?" Shane sounded almost amused. "It's almost tragic in its absurdity."

"Everyone's a critic, dude," Steve said bitterly. "I know it probably doesn't matter now, but Jack told me I said he couldn't tell anyone and he broke his promise."

"So I guess keeping one's word is an admired trait among the men in the Johnson family," Shane said. Steve could not tell if that was sarcastic or serious.

"Well, I guess we both trusted the wrong dudes." Steve was growing frustrated that Shane would not look at him. "Okay," Steve growled. "You won't get angry, fine. But it's my turn now. Why the hell didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me what would happen if I talked?"

"Would it have changed anything?" Shane asked, without turning. "Would you, in your drunken stupor, have said, 'gee, I'm mad at Shane and I'd break my promise to him, but I'd better not because instead of just thinking he'd get in trouble, he might get arrested'? Would that have made a bloody difference?"

Steve grimaced. "That's not the point. This is a hell of a lot more than 'getting into trouble.' Hell, they were talking murder charges in there!"

For the first time, Steve got the reaction that he wanted. Shane wheeled around and glared. "You don't have to tell me what the charges are."

Steve held his arms out again. "Go ahead. Now you're angry. Hit me." He was met with disappointment again. The angry glare in Shane's eyes faded and he heaved a sigh.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel beholden to me," Shane said. "You already were angry at me for keeping you in Cyprus, and I knew you'd be even more angry when you found out about me and Kayla. . . . It just seemed like it would make things worse."

"But you put so much on the line to get me out." Steve was still baffled. "You could've chosen to stay in Salem and not take that risk."

"I could have chosen?" Shane made a sound like an almost-amused snort. "You don't get it. There was no choice. I couldn't leave you there. And even if it wasn't for you, I had to do it for Kayla."

Steve's eyes narrowed and he scowled. "For Kayla?"

"I don't know what Kayla's said about our . . . relationship." Shane's word made Steve flinch; the thought of Shane and Kayla together was still hard for Steve to take. But he said nothing as Shane continued. "What we had - whatever it was - it was founded on one overriding principle. We just wanted to make each other happy. Kayla was never going to love me like she loved you; I knew that. I accepted that. But after you died, she was in so much pain and I saw it every day. And I just wanted to take away a little of that pain and make her happy."

Shane took a few steps along the path, and kicked at some of the dirt.

"Nothing could possibly have made Kayla happier than having you back."

This time, Steve shook his head. "Nobody's that noble, Donovan."

Shane held up his arms and shrugged. "Consider me practically ready for knighthood. It just might have to wait about 40 years."

"Dude, that's not funny." _How could Shane even joke about a thing like that_? Steve wondered.

Shane turned back to the lake. Slowly, he said, "No, it really isn't. But it's the reality. I can't beat these charges."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Steve's voice rose again. "Of course, you can. Just prove you were on an ISA mission. It can't be that hard. Don't tell me you have helicopters and soldiers at your beck and call whenever you want them."

"I'm the number 2 man in the ISA." Shane paused as if he had to think about what he had just said. "Sorry . . . I was the number 2 man. Do you really think it would have been hard for me to fake some personnel orders and requisition some helicopters? Do you think the ISA isn't sitting right now on a stack of documents that I supposedly 'created' for my unauthorized mission?"

"Then call the soldiers," Steve said. "You saved Deakins' life. I heard him goin' on about 'Spooky this' and 'Spooky that' at that hospital. He'd come and say it was an official mission."

Shane glanced sideways at Steve. "Yeah, you're probably right. He probably would. That's why I'm not calling him."

"Oh, give me a break, dude," Steve argued. "The ISA's trying to make you their scapegoat and you're just gonna let them? At least, fight back."

"By ruining Deakins' life?" Shane asked, his dark eyes settling on Steve.

"What does that mean?" Steve said. The way Shane was looking at him was unnerving.

"If I call Deakins and he testifies, what happens to him? He gets arrested for revealing classified information. He's got kids too, and a wife. What happens to them if he's court-martialed? He'd lose his job, his reputation, and the pension his family would probably need to survive." Shane's eyes remained fixed on Steve. "Basically . . . he'd be exactly where I am right now. No, Steve. I won't save my own skin by asking Deakins to trade places with me. I bloody well knew what I was getting into. He was just following orders."

"I don't get you, dude."

"No, I suppose you don't." Shane shifted his gaze back over the lake. "That's not surprising really. There's a difference between us, Steve. You believe in 'me first' or, at least, 'me and my family first.' I guess that's understandable. You grew up without a family. You didn't have much and you had to fight for everything. So I can understand; if you hadn't put yourself first, you probably wouldn't have survived."

Steve shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to tell Shane to shut up, that he didn't know Steve at all. But he also thought Shane was hitting uncomfortably close to home.

"I'll tell you a secret, Steve. When I left England last month, it was for a mission in Baghdad. The thing was a bloody disaster. I should have died. I mean I was staring down the barrel of a nine-millimeter waiting for the Iraqi to pull the trigger." He touched his forehead. "Right here. Another few seconds and the bullet would have gone right here. I would've been a dead man. Thanks to our friends in the Army, I'm not. They showed up like the cavalry coming over the ridge at dawn." Shane fell silent for a minute, before adding, "I can't destroy any of them."

Steve didn't know what to say. He understood what Shane was saying, but it was stupid._ There's no point throwing your life away like that_. "At least, let Deakins make his own decision."

"I can't do that. Like you said, he'd probably agree." Shane shook his head. "He'd think he owes me-"

"For saving his life, you're damn right," Steve insisted. "He does."

"And I owe him for saving mine, so we're even. And-" Shane turned again to face Steve and sighed. "Okay . . . let me see if this helps you understand. The ISA depends on the military all the time. For things like the raid to get you, for extractions, for all sorts of things. What soldier's going to put his life on the line for an ISA agent if it means losing his career and who knows what else?"

Steve rolled his eyes and did not hold back on his sarcasm, "So you're going to let them send you to jail to save all those future ISA agents. Oh, that's just great, Donovan. You'll take a bullet for them, but where are they for you? The ISA doesn't give a damn about you. Don't you get that, dude? You're like some broken part of a car. If you break, they just toss you away, replace you with another part, and drive on. Don't you understand that?" Inexplicably, to Steve's annoyance, Shane responded to that by chuckling. "What's so damn funny?" Steve demanded.

"We're just from two completely different worlds," Shane said, obviously amused. "But you're right. That's exactly what I am to them."

_If I'm right, why aren't you pissed off_? Steve thought.

Shane grew serious. "What you just said. It reminds me of something Tarrington said the other night. 'Anyone's expendable.' That's what he said. And he was right. That's the first rule of being a spy - no man is more important than the mission."

"That's just stupid," Steve replied. He just couldn't believe this crap Shane was spouting.

Shane sighed. "Maybe, to you, it is. But I'm not asking you to agree with me. I just want you to understand."

"Well, I don't," Steve said angrily. "I don't understand, and I'm not going to let you rot in jail when a guy like Deakins can save your ass."

"It's not a request, blast it," Shane shot back. "Bloody hell, Steve, if you won't drop it because I asked, then drop it for yourself and Kayla. If you start trying to track down the ODA, the ISA will be all over you - and this time, I won't be able to protect you."

_Protect me_? _What the hell is he going on about now_? Steve asked himself. He stepped toward Shane. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Shane looked up at the sky, before saying, in an exasperated voice, "Did you really think the ISA wanted to just let you walk away and return to your normal life? Did you really think I arranged for Kim to come to England to help you only because I was trying to be a nice guy?"

Steve did not understand.

"The ISA was going to lock you up," Shane said sharply. "They were going to tie you down, drug you, do whatever it took to find out what you knew about Alamain. I kept them off your back, because I knew what that would do to you." He paused and made a point of looking down at Steve's hands. "I didn't go into that compound just to turn around and let the ISA torture you like Alamain did. So I brought Kim to England. And I lied to Tarrington about how much progress you were making. And when you broke into Alamain's and Tarrington decided you were too much of a loose cannon, I told him I'd go to the press - to Jack, no less - if anything happened to you."

Steve felt like he had been punched in the solar plexus. But even as he shook off the shock, things started to make sense. "So that's why Kim was trying so hard to get into my head? She knew, didn't she? You told her what the ISA was going to do, didn't you?" From Shane's silence, Steve got his answer. "You both knew and you didn't tell me? You didn't tell Kayla? Even though the goddamn ISA could've come down on us at any time?"

"I was protecting you," Shane repeated.

"We wouldn't have needed your damn protection if you'd told us the truth!" Steve shouted. "Damn it, Donovan!" He began to pace a little, turning away from Shane, as he absorbed the news. Here he was worried about Shane's family being in trouble, and all this time, Shane had kept secret the danger Steve was in. And what if the ISA hurt his family? They were not above using family members for leverage. That was how Steve had been dragged into the whole Stockholm fiasco. "How could you keep that secret from us?" Steve cried.

Shane spoke softly from behind Steve. "We needed to know what you knew. Everything you knew about Alamain. You wouldn't have told Kim if you knew what the ISA might do and, Steve, it was important. Just what you told us about the toxin they gave you . . . that could save countless lives."

Steve whirled around. "Don't tell me what I would or wouldn't have done!" he yelled. "I'm not some child; you should've given me the choice, not kept us in the dark about the ISA." His mind was reeling. _How am I going to keep Kayla and Stephanie safe_? _How do I stop them from coming for me_? "Damn you."

"I'm sorry," Shane said, his voice still even. "Maybe I should have told you. But if there's anything you're still holding back, Steve. . . . Tell them now."

Steve was no longer listening. After all Steve's concerns about the ISA playing games with Shane's life, he was basically admitting that he had done the same thing to Steve. He took a few more angry steps toward Shane, his hands clenching into fists, but he stopped. Shane just stood there, doing nothing, and Steve knew he would not defend himself if Steve threw a punch.

With a shake of his head, Steve growled. "I don't get you, Donovan. I never will."

Shane looked away again. "In a few months, it probably won't matter."

Steve stood there, stewing, waiting for Shane to say something, but he continued to stare silently at the lake. After a few minutes, Steve turned away. _This is pointless_. Saying nothing further, Steve began stalking angrily back to the house. If Donovan wanted to let the ISA screw with his life, that was his choice. But Steve was going to make sure that they stayed out of his.


	221. Chapter 221

Steve headed outside, leaving Kim and Kayla alone. An awkward silence filled the room as the sisters stared at each other. Kayla could see the anger burning in Kim's eyes and trying to explain Steve's actions would probably be an exercise in futility. Still, Kim deserved to know the full story, even if it was unlikely to change her mind.

Before Kayla could speak, Kim broke the silence first. "I need to go check on my children," Kim said icily. "If you need something . . . well, I guess you know where everything is now, don't you?"

Kayla flinched at her sister's pointed remark, but let it pass. "Kim," she said, trying to keep a neutral tone to her voice. "I know you're angry, but I think we need to talk."

"Talk?" Kim scoffed. "You mean you want to defend Steve again, right? Tell me how he wasn't trying to ruin Shane's life." Kim glared at her sister. "I really have no interest in hearing your lies again."

Kayla took a deep breath, trying to control her own rising anger. She knew that if the positions were reversed, she would be just as angry as Kim was now. But if Kim was going to be angry, it should be based on what really happened, not on what Kim assumed was the truth.

"I didn't lie to you, Kim." Kayla said calmly, but firmly. "At least not intentionally."

Kim looked at Kayla in surprise. "You didn't lie to me? You told me that Steve didn't talk to Jack. Are you telling me that wasn't a lie?"

"I didn't know Steve was the one who talked to Jack when I talked to you," Kayla explained. "What I told you was the truth. I asked Steve and he said he didn't tell Jack anything."

"So Steve lied to you," Kim said angrily. "That should have been obvious from the start. Yet you're still defending him." Kim rolled her eyes. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Steve's been mad at Shane since he got back, and you've stood by and done nothing. He doesn't care who he hurts. . . . I guess you don't either."

"That's not true," Kayla said defensively.

"Yes, it is," Kim insisted. "Even now, when Steve lied to you and everyone else, you're still standing by him. When is enough enough?"

"He didn't intentionally lie to me!" Kayla snapped at Kim. "He didn't remember talking to Jack when I asked him about it. He didn't even realize it until he found a recording Jack had made of their conversation."

Kim stared at Kayla for a moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was softer, although the angry edge remained. "How did that happen, Kayla? Why didn't Steve remember?"

Kayla took a deep breath and told Kim about how Steve had gone to the Cheating Heart, how Jimmy had called Kayla, how Kayla had called Jack, and how Jack had eventually brought a nearly unconscious Steve home.

"When he woke up the next morning, he didn't even remember seeing Jack at the bar. I don't think either of us thought of that night when we saw the article, simply because Steve was in no condition to talk to anyone that night." Kayla sighed. "At least . . . it seemed that way."

"So Steve was drunk and didn't remember." Kim shrugged, her tone still cold. "It doesn't change the fact that Steve talked to Jack. He was angry at Shane and gave the story to a reporter. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Steve was trying to hurt Shane."

"I know that's how it looks, Kim," Kayla said as she ran her hand across her forehead. "I even wondered if Steve had told Jack because he wanted Jack to print the story. But Jack admitted that Steve told him he couldn't tell anyone." Kayla looked at Kim, hoping she would understand. "Steve made a mistake, but he wasn't trying to sabotage Shane."

Kim turned away from Kayla as if she was considering what Kayla had told her. Then she turned back, the anger in her eyes replaced by coldness. "Maybe that's true. But the reason why it happened doesn't really matter now does it? Shane's still facing serious charges, and it's all because Steve broke his word and told Jack the whole story."

Kayla was silent. She had known that it was unlikely that Kim would change her opinion after hearing the truth, but at least it was out in the open and maybe, with time, it might make a difference.

"I know it doesn't change the reality of what Shane's facing," Kayla eventually said. "But Steve's going to do everything he can to fix this. I think that's one of the things he wanted to talk to Shane about. He really does want to help."

"Yeah, well, Shane doesn't want my help." Kim and Kayla both turned their heads as Steve walked in the door. "He seems to think he's better off being a martyr for the ISA than fighting for his own life."

"What?" Kim and Kayla said in unison.

"You heard me." Steve shrugged. "Even though the ISA's hanging him out to dry, Shane's playing loyal soldier."

"Why would he do that?" Kayla asked, confused.

"I don't know, baby," Steve replied. "And right now, I don't really care. I've got other things to worry about."

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise at the anger in Steve's voice. "What's going on, Steve?" she asked, knowing this was about more than Shane's rejection of Steve's help.

"You want to tell her?" Steve asked, turning to Kim. "You want to tell your sister how you and Shane have been lying to us all this time?"

Kim's eyes blazed at Steve's accusation. "I don't know what you are talking about. The only person who's been lying around here is you."

Kayla looked back and forth from her husband to her sister, wondering what was going on. She turned back to Steve as he said, "That's not quite true, and you know it, Kim. You never told me why you were so eager to get into my head."

"I was trying to help you," Kim said, sarcastically adding, "You obviously needed it."

"What did Shane and Kim keep from us?" Kayla asked, ignoring Kim's insult. "What did Shane tell you?"

Steve looked at Kayla. "Apparently the ISA was not just going to leave me to die in that hellhole. After Shane got me out, they wanted to lock me up somewhere so they could find out what I knew about Alamain's operation."

"What?" Kayla was shocked.

"Oh, it gets better, Sweetness." Steve turned back to Kim. "The ISA didn't think I was 'recovering' quickly enough and has been threatening to take me away. And your sister and Donovan knew all about it. Didn't you, Kim?"

Kayla turned back to her sister, her own anger threatening to take control now. "How could you keep something like that from us?"

"I knew Shane would protect Steve," Kim said defiantly. "For you and Stephanie if for no other reason." She turned to Steve. "And Shane and I both knew that you'd never talk to me if you knew about the ISA's threat."

"You had no right to make that decision for me," Steve snarled. "I trusted you. I thought you wanted to help me, not help the ISA get information."

"Shane and I trusted you, so I guess we were all wrong," Kim said, sharply. Then, her voice softened. "And I did want to help. I would've helped even if the ISA wasn't involved." She fell silent and then added, bitterly, "But you don't have to worry about me trying to get any more information from you. You'll have to find somebody else willing to 'get into your head' from here on out."

"I'm already one step ahead of you, Kim." Steve said dismissively. "I need somebody I can trust."

Kayla stood silently as the emotions swirled inside of her. She had no idea how things had gotten so crazy with the four of them. All she knew was that she did not want to spend one more minute in Shane's house.

"I think we should go," she said quietly to Steve.

"I think you're right, Sweetness." Steve walked to Kayla and put his arm around her. Together, they walked out the door without so much as a goodbye.


	222. Chapter 222

After returning home from Shane's house, Steve had thanked and paid the babysitter, a young college student named Jamie who lived in an apartment down the hall. Although they had not often had to hire a babysitter since his return, given the upheaval in the Brady family, Steve had a feeling that Jamie's babysitting business was about to pick up.

He could hear the sounds of Kayla giving Stephanie her bath, an activity Steve was usually only too happy to assist with. But his emotions were still churning from the confrontations with Shane and Kim, so he figured it was better if he stayed in the living room for awhile.

As he sat on the couch, Steve tried to process everything that had happened. The past few days had been one long series of shocks. Jack's article, the revelation that Steve had been the one who talked, Shane's arrest, learning that the damned ISA had intended on leaving Steve in Alamain's hands, and last, but certainly not least, the reveal of Shane and Kim's deception about his therapy.

Steve knew his anger at Shane had kept him from appreciating what Shane had risked to rescue him. It had been easier to dismiss Shane's role in the rescue when Steve had believed that it was really an ISA mission. But Steve could not ignore the truth now. If it were not for Shane, he would likely be dead.

Yet, that didn't stop the anger he still felt. The debt he owed Shane did not make the conflict that had existed between them since Steve's return any less real. And it did not change the fact that Shane and Kayla had been in a relationship while he was gone, something that Steve was still having a hard time accepting.

But his anger was not just about the recent conflicts. He still could not believe that Shane had never told him that the ISA had threatened to take him into custody. And, even worse, Kim had kept that information from Steve as well.

And now he could not help but wonder if part of Shane's motivation for not telling Steve the full truth about the rescue mission was Shane's fear that Steve would have refused to cooperate with the ISA in any way if he knew the truth. _I'm not wrong about that_, Steve thought bitterly. But then he remembered the toxin he had been subjected to before his rescue. He could not have kept that information to himself, no matter how angry he was at the ISA.

Steve shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. How could an organization that was capable of doing so much good also be willing to let innocent people die or use children as pawns in its games? Shane had said that Steve could not understand him, but that was not entirely true. Steve understood Shane's commitment to making the world a safer place. What Steve would never understand was Shane's apparent belief that other people's families were more important than his own.

"Papa!" Steve turned as Kayla brought a clean and smiling Stephanie into the room. Kayla put Stephanie down and Steve smiled as she ran over to him. It always amazed Steve how much Stephanie could change in just a few days. In just the couple of months he had been back, she had gone from a somewhat-unsteady toddler to a very quick little girl.

As Stephanie reached the couch, Steve leaned down, picked her up, and swung her over his head, as had become their custom. It was a game of which Stephanie never seemed to tire and Steve enjoyed just as much.

After a moment, Kayla joined them on the couch. She stroked Stephanie's hair as their daughter cuddled up against Steve's chest.

"Are you okay?" Kayla asked quietly. "It's been kind of a crazy day."

Steve nodded. "It's just been a lot to take in."

"I know," Kayla replied. She started to say something else, then stopped. Steve looked at her, seeing a question in her eyes. "What is it, Sweetness?"

Kayla hesitated for a moment, the asked, "Did Shane tell you why he wasn't going to fight the charges? That just doesn't make any sense to me."

Steve took a deep breath to fight back the stab of jealousy he felt at hearing the concern in Kayla's voice. Then he shrugged and said, "It doesn't make any sense to me either, baby. Shane doesn't owe the ISA anything after what they've done, but I guess Shane doesn't see it that way. He says he knew the risks going in, and now he has to live with them."

"But there have to be people who know the truth," Kayla insisted. "You were on a military base and you told me about the soldiers."

"There are a lot of people who know the truth," Steve said bitterly. "But Shane won't let any of them testify because then they would be putting their lives on the line for Shane."

Kayla was quiet as she absorbed what Steve had said. Then, looking up at him, she said, "So Shane's right then. There is no way to fight those charges."

"I wouldn't go that far," Steve said. "Shane may not be interested in fighting for his life, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let him go to prison."

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? I thought you were angry at him."

"Oh, I am angry at him, Sweetness." Steve's voice rose slightly. "I'm angry at him for everything that's happened the last few weeks and I'm even angrier that he didn't tell me about the ISA's threats." Steve calmed himself and ran his hand down his face. "But this mess is still my fault, and I'm not going to let Shane spend his life in prison for my mistake."

"So what are you going to do?" Kayla asked.

Before Steve could respond, there was a knock at the door. Steve and Kayla looked at each other curiously, neither having any idea who could it could be. Kayla shrugged and got up from the couch to answer the door.

"Mrs. Johnson?" Steve heard a female voice say when the door opened. From his spot on the couch he could not see who was at the door. Steve did not recognize the voice.

"Yes," Kayla replied.

"My name is Rachel Knight, and I'm a reporter with the Boston Globe. I was hoping I could talk to your husband for a few minutes."

Steve saw Kayla glance his direction and then turn back to the woman at the door. "I'm afraid that's impossible. We aren't interesting in talking to any reporters."

"I understand your hesitance, Mrs. Johnson." The reporter maintained a polite tone. "But I met Captain Donovan in Saudi Arabia and we . . . became friendly. I'd like to help him if I can. I'm on his side."

"That's nice to know," Kayla responded, her voice growing more icy. "But, as I said, we're not interested in talking to any reporters."

"Wait a minute, Sweetness," Steve said. He got up from the couch and walked to the door, where he got his first glimpse of the reporter. She had shoulder-length brown hair, dark eyes, and was wearing a shorter skirt and lower-cut blouse than anything Jennifer Horton would ever wear on a reporting assignment. No wonder Kayla's tone had been cold. Slightly amused, Steve asked, "Did you say you met Shane in Saudi Arabia?"

"Yes," she replied, flashing him a brilliant smile. "As I was telling your wife, I'd like to help him if I can."

Steve looked at Kayla and nodded. Kayla's eyes narrowed, but she pulled the door open and allowed Rachel to enter the apartment.

"Mr. Johnson, I'm Rachel Knight." She held out her hand to Steve. "I'm with-"

"The Boston Globe," Steve said as he took the offered hand. "I heard."

"Right," Rachel replied, giving him another blinding smile. She continued to hold his hand as she said, "And who is this little one?"

"That's our daughter, Stephanie," Kayla said curtly. Steve could not help but smile at the ice in her voice. His smile grew as Kayla walked over and reached for Stephanie, forcing Rachel to let go of his hand.

"She's a beautiful little girl." Rachel seemed oblivious to Kayla's actions.

"Thanks," Steve said. He pointed to the chair. "Have a seat."

"Thank you," Rachel replied. She sat down and slowly crossed her legs, making sure Steve got a full view of them.

Steve caught a glimpse of Kayla rolling her eyes behind Rachel, and he stifled a smile. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked.

"I was hoping you could give me more information about your rescue. Captain Donovan denied being in the ISA when I met him, but since he was eating dinner with a Special Forces officer, I knew there was more to the story than what he told me. And I don't believe that he was acting without ISA authorization when he rescued you. So . . . if you give me some more information, maybe I can help get the real story out."

Steve shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that." He took Kayla's hand as she joined him on the couch.

"Why not?" Rachel Knight asked, giving Steve a little pout. "Surely you don't want Captain Donovan imprisoned after what he did to rescue you."

"No, I don't want Shane to go to prison," Steve said. "But my brother owns a newspaper and he'd just never forgive me if gave some kind of exclusive to another reporter."

Rachel was silent for a moment, then she gave him a look of understanding. "Jack Deveraux's your brother."

Steve nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't know that already. For a reporter, you didn't do your homework very well." He heard Kayla's soft snort beside him.

Rachel flushed slightly at the jibe, but recovered quickly. "I've only been in town for less than 24 hours. I'll do better next time." She flashed another smile. "But if you won't talk to me for a story, why did you let me in?"

"Because I need some information and, if you're sincere about helping Shane, you'll give it to me." Steve spoke with a determined edge to his voice.

"What information is that?" Rachel asked, suddenly looking less comfortable.

"You said you met Shane in Saudi Arabia. And then you said you met him when he was having dinner with a Special Forces officer. Do you know the officer's name?"

Rachel did not answer at first and Steve wondered if she would answer at all. He had no illusions that this Rachel Knight had any real interest in helping Shane, but if Steve read her right, she might be willing to give him the information in the hopes of getting some from Steve at a later date. Just as he was about to give up hope, Rachel answered.

"Ryan Nowicki. I suspect he was the captain of the unit that rescued you."

_That's it. _Steve suddenly remembered the name of the officer who had visited Deakins in the base hospital. _Nowicki_.

"Do you happen to know if Captain Nowicki has a Sergeant Deakins in his unit? Nice guy with a really thick accent?" Steve asked nonchalantly.

Rachel nodded, smiling at how Steve had implicitly confirmed her suspicions. "Roy Deakins. I did a story on their unit a few months ago. I had to listen to my interviews with Sergeant Deakins more times than I'd like to remember to understand what he was saying."

"That's him," Steve replied with a slight smile. "Do you know where they are now? Are they still in Saudi Arabia?"

Rachel shook her head. "I don't know. They were still in Riyadh when I left, but that was a few weeks ago. They're part of the Fifth Special Forces Group, so they'd be based in Kentucky. At Fort Campbell." She paused, then continued. "I'm not supposed to know this, but one of the men did tell me they expected to be going home 'soon.'" She shrugged. "I'm just not sure what 'soon' meant and, being Special Forces, they could get sent anywhere. Sorry, that's the best I can do."

"I appreciate it," Steve said as he stood up. "Now . . . I'm sure you have stories to write and deadlines to meet, so we don't want to take up any more of your time."

Rachel seemed startled at Steve's abrupt ending of the conversation, but she stood and said, "Of course." She held out her hand to Steve again. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Johnson."

Steve shook her hand again and gave her a smile. He could feel Kayla's eyes burning a hole in his back, but he ignored it for the moment. "It was a pleasure to meet you as well, Ms. Knight."

"Please . . . call me Rachel," she said, again refusing to release his hand. "Hopefully our next conversation will be more . . . mutually beneficial."

"We'll see," Steve said noncommittally as he walked Rachel to the door.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson," Rachel called as she exited the apartment without waiting for a reply. Steve figured that was just as well given the look in Kayla's eyes when he closed the door and turned back to the couch.

Without a word, he walked over and sat back down beside Kayla. He took Stephanie from Kayla's lap and lifted her over his head.

"Well, Little Sweetness," he said. smiling up at his daughter. "Your Papa still doesn't know exactly how he's going to get Uncle Shane out of this mess, but at least now he knows where to start."

Stephanie giggled at her father as Steve pulled her down to his lap. Then he leaned over and gave Kayla a kiss on the cheek. Turning back to Stephanie he said, "You want to know something else, baby girl? Your mama's really cute when she's jealous."


	223. Chapter 223

The sun was starting to drop lower in the sky. Shane had no idea how long it had been since Steve had left - a couple of hours probably - but Shane had stayed out here by the lake. He watched the water lap against the shore and stared out at a couple of the late-afternoon fishing charters returning to the docks.

He had always loved this house and the lake. It was not Donovan Manor, but it was as close as he could find in Salem and, ever since they had moved in, Shane had pictured living a life here and watching Andrew grow up safe and happy. But that picture was now nothing more than a distant dream. Whatever happened, he would never see his son grow up along the banks of this lake.

_All because Steve Johnson decided to tie one on._

Shane laughed again at the absurdity of the situation. He knew he should have felt angrier. He probably should have taken Steve up on his offer and beaten him mercilessly, but what Shane had said was true. There was little point wasting time being angry. Time was too fleeting.

Yet here he was standing outside and wasting it. Hadn't he told Steve that this was time to spend with Andrew? Shane still did not know what to say to him. How could he possibly explain this to a five-year-old?

With a resigned sigh, he turned away from the water and began trudging back to the house. He passed the stables and headed toward the garden gate. As he got closer, he saw something move near the gate and caught a glimpse of dark hair as a small figure ducked out of view.

Shane took a couple of breaths as he reached the gate. He opened it and stepped inside. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Andrew crouching low behind a couple of rose bushes.

"Your mom won't be happy if you tear your shirt on those thorns," Shane said softly.

Andrew did not move. "I don't care." From his sullen tone, Shane could tell that this was not going to be an easy discussion. Whatever excitement Andrew had shown at Shane's return had passed.

Shane walked over to the bush and knelt down in front of it. He could see Andrew's face better. His eyes were downcast and there were lines of dirt on his cheeks that looked like they had been spread by tears.

"I guess you're probably pretty mad right now," Shane said, trying to figure out what to say. "At those men the other day. And I suppose you're probably pretty mad at me."

"You said you wouldn't let the bad men take you."

"I know, Sport," Shane said. "I . . . Would you give me a chance to try to explain?" He held out a hand, waited until Andrew took it, and then helped the boy climb past the bushes without getting scratched. Then, unable to stop himself, Shane pulled Andrew into a tight hug. When he let go, he felt almost embarrassed as he saw Andrew staring at him, wide-eyed and confused.

He lifted Andrew, carried him over to the wooden bench in the center of the garden, and set him down. For a moment, Shane debated standing, but he forced himself to sit down next to the boy.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions about what happened the other day," he said.

Andrew frowned, but just continued to stare at him.

"The men who came the other day. . . ." Shane said. He could feel his face growing warmer as he remembered the embarrassment and shame he had felt at being shoved face-first into the ground as Andrew screamed.

"Why didn't you fight them, Daddy?" Andrew asked.

Shane put an arm around Andrew's shoulders. "Sometimes, fighting - I mean hitting someone - it's not the right thing to do. Those men. They were just doing their jobs." _And they would have shot me if I'd fought them._

"But why did they take you away then?" Andrew frowned again. "Mommy said it's because of Uncle Steve. She's mad at him."

"Yes, I guess she is, but it's not really Uncle Steve's fault." Shane thought for a little bit before he tried to explain. "I know this is hard for you to understand, son, but sometimes, when you're a grown-up, there are things that you need to do because you think they're right. Do you remember when Uncle Steve left, and Aunt Kayla and Stephanie were living here?"

Andrew nodded.

"That was because some very bad men had taken Uncle Steve away. And Aunt Kayla and Stephanie were missing him."

"Like when I was in Los Angeles with Mommy?" Andrew looked down. "I missed you, Daddy."

Shane squeezed Andrew's shoulder. "I missed you too. It was like that, except you knew you could call me and we would see each other on visits. Aunt Kayla didn't know where Uncle Steve was. She didn't know if she would ever see him again." He thought better than to try to explain that they thought Steve was dead. "And then I was told where he was."

"And you found him," Andrew said. "In England, right?"

Shane chuckled slightly. "I found him, yes, but it wasn't in England. See . . . to find him and bring him back, I had to do something. And some people didn't like what I did. To them, what I did was wrong and broke the law."

Andrew took a minute to process that, before he asked, "Did you go to jail?"

Taken aback by the question, Shane hesitated. He did not expect Andrew to understand, but then realized he had told Andrew about sending law-breakers to jail before. And with Roman a cop, Andrew had probably heard a lot of stories from Eric. "Yes," Shane said. "I went to jail, and I may have to go back there."

"But I thought only bad men went to jail."

How did Shane respond to that? He took a deep breath. "Some people think I'm a bad man for what I did. But you see, I couldn't leave Uncle Steve where he was. I had to find him and bring him back." Andrew frowned and looked away, but Shane told him, "Andrew, look at me," and waited until his son looked back up. Shane pointed to right above Andrew's heart. "Part of being a man is understanding what's right and wrong - not just what the law says is right and wrong - but what's right and wrong in here. They're not always the same thing. And I know that's hard for you to understand right now."

"Are you saying the law's wrong, Daddy?" Andrew asked. "Why don't you tell them that?"

_If only it were so easy_, Shane thought, as he smiled slightly. "Life doesn't always work like that, Sport. But that's another part of being a man. If you decide to do what's right in your heart, and you know that the law says it's wrong, you can't expect the law to change. You have to accept the consequences of breaking the law. And when I left Salem to rescue Uncle Steve, I did that. I knew it was possible I'd go to jail for doing it."

Andrew's eyes were even wider than before. "Are you sorry you found Uncle Steve?"

"No," Shane said quickly. "Not for one second. The men who had Uncle Steve were hurting him, and I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't try to rescue him." Shane slipped off the bench and crouched down so his eyes were level with Andrew's. He put a hand on Andrew's shoulder and looked his son in the eye. "I want you to understand one thing, if nothing else. What I did . . . I'm as proud of that as of anything I've ever done in my life. And even if it means that I have to go to jail for a long time, I'll never be sorry for rescuing Uncle Steve. Aunt Kayla and Uncle Steve are happy now. And Stephanie has her daddy back."

Andrew shook his head. "No!"

"Andrew-"

"It's not fair!" he said, his voice rising. "It's not fair that she gets her daddy and I don't."

Andrew jumped off the bench. Shane grabbed for his hand, but he jerked away. "You said you won't go away!" he yelled. "You promised!"

"Andrew," Shane said, but Andrew was no longer listening. Tears filled his eyes and he shook his head angrily.

"You promised!" Andrew repeated. "And now they're gonna take you away and you're not sorry!" Before Shane could respond, Andrew spun and ran toward the house. Shane could do nothing but watch him race away.

He sat back against the bench and closed his eyes. If felt like someone had just reached into his chest and ripped out his heart. _How can I possibly make him understand_? he silently asked himself. _How do I explain_? Shane forced himself to take some deep breaths as he tried to suppress his own pain. Then he let his head fall into his hands.

"He's too young to understand."

Shane looked up to see Kim standing by the brick arch. She looked apologetic. "I came looking for Andrew and . . . I couldn't help but overhear."

"How much did you hear?" he asked.

"Enough." Kim walked to the wood chair across from the bench and took a seat. "He can't understand," she said. "At night, he has nightmares of you being dragged away by the FBI. When you tell him that what you did was right and you're not sorry, he only sees that as you saying you're not sorry you might leave him. That you don't love him."

"But what else can I say?" Shane said. "I'm not going to lie to him again."

Kim nodded. "I know. But you could be honest and tell him that you're scared."

She was wrong, Shane thought. "That's not what he needs. He needs me to be strong and set an example for him." _For the little time I have left to do that._

"So he can be stoic and bury his emotions like you? So he can pretend he doesn't feel anything when he's hurt?" Kim's voice had an edge to it. "Okay, if that's what you want to sell him, then at least tell him you're going to fight to stay with him."

Shane looked down. He could not look her in the eyes.

"You're not going to fight this, are you?" She knew the answer already. Her disbelief was plain.

"I don't think I can," he said softly. He did not try to explain. Kim would understand even less than Steve did. "Barring a miracle, Kim, I will be convicted."

"And you're just going to let the ISA get away with that?" she said from her seat. Shane did not have to look at her to hear the pain and anger in her voice. "When Steve said you'd just go along with them, I didn't believe him. What about your son, Shane? Are you just going to leave your son without a fight?"

Shane did not want to argue. He felt so drained that he just closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Kim said after a brief silence. "I know this is hard for you. And I know you could never have left Steve in that place. But it shouldn't have to be like this." He could hear her moving and, a moment later, he felt her crouch next to him and take his hand. He opened his eyes and looked into hers.

"It shouldn't be like this, Kim, but it is." He thought again about how long he might be locked away, and the alternative of being exiled to England was not much better. "I know what this means. I'm going to miss so much of Andrew's life."

"No," Kim said adamantly. "I won't let you do this, Shane. Don't you even think of giving up. There has to be a way of beating this, and we're going to find it." Shane started to shake his head, but she grabbed his chin and forced him to look in her eyes. "Don't you dare give up, Shane Donovan, because I will never give up on you."

"Kim-"

She shook her head. "We're going to find a way to beat this. I know it." She stared into his eyes, her eyes shining hopefully. "You said the other day that I didn't believe in our love, but I'm telling you right now . . . no matter what happens, our love is going to get us through this together."

Shane tore his eyes away from hers and pulled his hand away. He could not handle this right now. Hope was the last thing to which he should be clinging. He was about to lose years of his life and miss seeing his son grow up. He could not talk about love or being together. Those were pipe dreams.

Rising to his feet, he looked back at her. Right now, there were so many things he wished were different, so many things he wished he had done differently. But he had told Andrew the truth; he did not regret what he did to bring Steve back and now he had to accept the consequences.

Kim was still staring at him. He could see the love and faith in her light eyes. That made it even worse; it cut even more deeply to see that she was responding to this by clinging to some hope for something that could never be. Deep inside, he felt the aching pain that he had tried to bury rising inside him. Shane took a deep breath, trying to suppress the pain once more. Then he turned and silently walked away.


	224. Chapter 224

Steve paced nervously outside the door to the doctor's office. For a moment, he wished he had taken Kayla up on her offer to accompany him to the appointment. He could use a little of her strength right about now. In fact, the only thing keeping him from turning around and leaving was the knowledge that Kayla was counting on him to at least give this new therapy a try. He owed it to her to follow through on his commitment.

Steve stopped pacing as he heard the intercom on the receptionist's desk buzz. He watched as she picked up the phone, spoke briefly, then hung up. Looking up, she smiled at Steve and said, "Dr. Friedman will see you now. Please go right in."

Steve did not move. Instead, he stared at the door, feeling like his body was frozen in place. "Mr. Johnson?" he heard the receptionist say. "You can go in now, sir."

Finally, Steve willed his body to move and walked to the door. He took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked inside.

Dr. Friedman was sitting behind the desk. He stood up and walked around the desk as Steve walked into the office. Dr. Friedman looked to be about fifty years old, with graying hair and a neatly trimmed goatee.

"Mr. Johnson? I'm Dr. Jacob Friedman." He held out his hand to Steve.

"Steve Johnson," Steve said as he shook the doctor's hand.

Dr. Friedman waved his hand towards a chair beside the desk. "Please have a seat."

Steve nodded and moved toward the chair, saying, "I thought I was supposed to lay on the couch or something."

Dr. Friedman smiled slightly. "That's a common misconception about psychotherapy. Not that you might not be laying on the couch someday, but for these initial meetings, I think it works better this way."

Steve just nodded again and sat down. He ran his hand across his face and adjusted his patch, then stopped as he noticed Dr. Friedman watching him. He gave an embarrassed smile and put his hands in his lap.

Dr. Friedman sat down behind his desk and looked down at some papers in front of him. Then he looked up at Steve. "Dr. Evans indicated that you were interested in pursuing EMDR to help with PTSD."

"EMDR. PTSD. Do you have abbreviations for everything?"

Dr. Friedman chuckled. "EMDR stands for 'Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.' That's the eye therapy that's been developed for treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. That is what you're here for, isn't it?"

Steve nodded, but remained silent.

"I can tell you that the therapy has shown some good success in patients with PTSD, so I'm happy to discuss it with you. But I'm curious about something. Has another doctor diagnosed you with the disorder? Dr. Evans did not mention any previous treatment."

Steve shook his head. "It's . . . uh . . . kind of a long story." He wiped his hands nervously on his jeans. "I was working with Kimberly Brady until recently. She's the one who said that I probably had PTSD.

Dr. Friedman nodded and made a notation on his file. "And you're not working with Ms. Brady anymore?"

Steve shook his head. "We . . . umm . . . both decided that it wasn't going to work anymore."

Again, Dr. Friedman nodded and made a note. Steve wondered if he was going to write down everything Steve said.

Dr. Friedman leaned back in his chair and looked Steve in the eye. "I'll be blunt, Mr. Johnson. I've read the newspaper report about your rescue and return to Salem. From what I read about the conditions under which you were held, I can certainly see how that would be a traumatic experience."

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He hated that Jack's article had let the entire world know at least part of what he had been through. Although Steve had to admit that there was a small benefit; the article kept him from having to explain the whole thing to Dr. Friedman.

Dr. Friedman continued to look at him, his gaze moving to Steve's patch. "Can I ask you . . . was the injury to your eye related to that same event?"

Steve self-consciously moved his hand to his patch, adjusting it slightly. Shaking his head, he said, "No. That injury occurred a long time ago. It's been over ten years now."

Dr. Friedman nodded and made another note. "Mr. Johnson, can you tell me why Ms. Brady believed you had PTSD?"

Steve shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure, but I guess it was because of my nightmares and . . . flashbacks I guess you call them."

"Tell me about your nightmares and flashbacks," Dr. Friedman said. "How often do you have them?"

Steve wiped his hands on his jeans again and told Dr. Friedman about how the nightmares had decreased then increased in frequency. He also told him about feeling unsafe at the apartment and needing to constantly check the security of his home.

"That feeling of being unsafe is called hypervigilance," Dr. Friedman told Steve. "It's a common behavior in people with PTSD. That kind of behavior helps us diagnose a patient as having PTSD."

_Well at least it has a name_, Steve thought to himself.

"Now . . . you also mentioned flashbacks. Can you tell me about those?" Dr. Friedman asked.

Steve took a deep breath. "Not really. I . . . I know I have them, but I don't really remember them. I only really know because other people tell me."

"Do you have any idea what triggers the flashback when you have them?"

Steve looked at his hands and the scars on his wrists. "I think it has something to do with my wrists. I know . . . well, I think that some of them have been triggered by somebody grabbing my wrist."

Dr. Friedman nodded. "Is that the only thing that triggers them?"

Steve shook his head. "Sometimes they start to come on when I'm remembering what happened while I was in that compound. But I can usually feel those coming and stop them."

The room fell silent at Dr. Friedman wrote steadily on his file. Finally, he leaned back in his chair and gave Steve a friendly smile.

"Well Mr. Johnson, based on the information you've provided, I would concur with Ms. Brady's diagnosis of PTSD. I think there is a good chance that the eye therapy can help you learn to deal with your memories."

Steve let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Dr. Friedman. And please, call me Steve."

"Don't thank me just yet, Steve." Dr. Friedman's expression grew serious. "This therapy can be very intense. I'm going to be asking you to relive these memories over and over again."

"I thought the therapy involved something with my eye?" Steve asked, confused.

"It does," Dr. Friedman said. "The studies show that by asking the patient to focus on an object, usually a finger, while remembering the traumatic event, we can cause the eyes to mimic the movements associated with memory in a way that desensitizes the patient to the traumatic memories."

Steve shook his head, even more confused. "So you wave your finger in front of my eye while I talk about what happened and that will fix whatever is going in my head? That seems a little . . . out there."

Dr. Friedman smiled again. "It may be 'out there,' Steve, but it has been shown to be quite successful." He paused and then asked, "Are you willing to give it a try?"

Steve was quiet. Somewhere, deep down, he had hoped that this therapy would simply involve some eye movements without requiring him to revisit everything that had happened in that compound. He knew it was naïve to think it would be that easy. So, the question was, could he share those experiences with Dr. Friedman? As he pondered that question, a picture of Kayla and Stephanie floated through his mind. That was all the answer he needed.

Steve nodded. "I'll give a try. I . . . I . . . know I need to do something."

"Good," Dr. Friedman replied. "I'd like to get started as quickly as possible, so you can make an appointment for the end of the week with my receptionist."

Steve nodded and stood, holding out his hand. "Thanks again for seeing me so quickly."

"You're welcome, Steve." Dr. Friedman shook Steve's hand. I'll see you in a few days."

Steve turned and headed out of the office. He stopped outside and a made an appointment for Friday afternoon. Checking his watch, he noticed that it was nearly noon. Just in time for Kayla's lunch break. A small smile crossed his face as he remembered their conversation from the previous week. _I guess I'll find out if she was serious about that supply closet_, he thought silently as he took off in search of his wife.


	225. Chapter 225

The pile of papers was now about three inches thick. Shane flipped through them again, wondering what, if anything, he was forgetting. He had tried his best to reconstruct everything he could remember about the Jericho operation and the items that Kim had received. However, it was a daunting task to figure out who was behind the plot now that the ISA had removed his equipment and files.

"Commander Brady, Sir." Simmons led Roman into the study.

"You don't mind my stopping by?" Roman asked as he walked in.

Shane shook his head. "No . . . not at all. Come on in." Shane motioned to the papers on his desk. "I was just trying to go back through what we know about whoever might be behind the threats to Andrew."

Roman walked over to the chair opposite Shane, but did not sit down. He put his hands on the back of the chair and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

Shane looked at Roman in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at you, partner." Roman glanced at the papers. "I know you're worried about Andrew and Kim, but what about the ISA? You have to find a way to fight them."

Shane sat back in his chair. "And how would you like me to do that?"

"I don't know." Roman stepped back and began to pace. "You told me you won't call the soldiers, and I can even understand why. But there has to be something else. You were high up in the ISA. You've got to know things - things the ISA doesn't want to get out. Doesn't that give you some . . . I don't know . . . leverage?"

Roman was right. Shane knew a lot of things the ISA would not want publicized - deals with some of the worst criminals in the world; operations that overturned governments; assassinations; it was a long list. But Roman was wrong about that giving him leverage.

"To have leverage, I'd have to convince Tarrington I'd go public," Shane said. "You know me, Roman. Do you really think I could go to the press and, basically, bring down the ISA by revealing classified information?" When Roman looked away, Shane added, "You can't bluff when the other side knows you'll fold."

"I don't believe that." Roman stopped and crossed his arms. "You went public after Stockholm."

"But that was about Vaughn," Shane explained. "We exposed his corruption and how he kidnapped Marlena. It was about the crimes he committed personally, not generally about the ISA. It's the same thing I would have done if Tarrington had seized Steve. That's not the ISA doing its job; that's one man abusing his power. What you're talking about are classified details about legitimate operations - things the public shouldn't know about and things that would cripple the ISA if they got out."

Roman continued to walk back and forth on the other side of the desk. "Then go after Tarrington personally," he suggested. "After what he's done, you don't owe him a thing."

Roman was right about that too, Shane thought. _I don't owe Tarrington a thing_. But there had to be dirt to find that did not implicate the ISA. Tarrington was not like Nickerson; he was not selling out the ISA for personal gain. And Tarrington was not like Vaughn. Tarrington did some shady things, but nothing outright illegal or immoral like kidnapping Marlena.

"I don't have anything on him," Shane said. "And even if there was something to find, at this point, I don't have what I need to find it. I don't have anyone inside the ISA willing to talk to me," Shane said. "Not even Peachy. They have her undercover so deep, I doubt she even knows what's happening here."

"You broke into ISA headquarters the last time they falsely accused you," Roman pointed out. "Why not do it again?"

"Last time, I knew where to go and what to look for," Shane said. "You're talking about taking a shot-in-the-dark when I don't even know what bloody direction to aim. And that's assuming there's something to find on Tarrington at ISA headquarters."

"Come on, Shane." Roman's voice rose sharply. "You can't just give up."

Shane stood up from his chair. "I'm not giving up, Roman," he snapped. He took a deep breath and continued, in a calmer voice. "I'm just . . . I'm just trying to face reality. You don't think I've gone through every scenario? That I haven't thought through every possible way of getting out of this mess? But everything I come up with involves destroying the ISA or asking someone to go to jail for me."

"The ISA doesn't deserve your loyalty," Roman said. "Don't be a damn martyr to protect the ISA."

_He doesn't understand._ "That's not what this is." Shane looked down at the stack of papers and thought for a minute. _How do I explain this to Roman_? "Remember those charges they accused me of right around the time you arrived in Salem?" When Roman said nothing, Shane continued. "The ISA offered me a deal back then."

"Kimmie mentioned that the other day," Roman said. "She said you wouldn't bite."

"I was supposed to admit turning over secrets to the Russians and point the finger at Nickerson; he was dead, so he couldn't defend himself. Everything would blow over and the ISA would avoid scandal." Shane paused. "I wouldn't do that because I wouldn't admit doing something I didn't do. If it embarrassed the ISA or caused a scandal, I didn't care."

Roman frowned. "So why do you care now?"

"Because this isn't about protecting the ISA," Shane said. "I did what they're accusing me of. They gave me a choice - as little of a choice as it was under the circumstances - and I chose to take the mission. They warned me of what might happen and I accepted the risks. Now you're suggesting that I destroy the agency to evade the consequences. And if I did that, maybe I'd go free. . . . But at what cost? The only people who'd be better off are the Lawrence Alamains of this world. How could I do that?"

Roman seemed to understand, because his head bobbed up and down as he began pacing again. When he reached the chair opposite the desk, he stopped, turned and leaned over it.

"Then run," Roman said. "Get the hell out of the country and go somewhere they can't find you. If anyone could just disappear, it's you. I don't care that the ISA took your equipment; you got Bo a fake passport when he needed one."

Shane could not believe what Roman was suggesting. _Run_? Shane started to stammer a response. "You . . . you can't be serious."

"Why not?" Roman asked. "You shouldn't go to prison over this."

Shane took a step away from the desk and thought for a minute. Then he turned back to Roman. "Would you do that? Would you run away and leave Marlena behind with Sami and Eric?"

"No, of course not, but I'd fight the charges," Roman said. "I'd do whatever it takes to be with my family.

"Even if means abandoning everything you believe in?" Shane looked at Roman carefully. "Tell me this. Would you have let Stefano escape instead of going after him on that island if you'd known what would happen? Would you have just let him go, knowing he'd remain a threat?"

Roman stood silently, but then admitted, "I'd have gone after him, no matter what."

"So maybe we're not so different," Shane said. He looked at a photograph of Andrew on his desk. "Dammit, Roman. You have no idea how hard this is. I just think about Andrew, and I want to rush right outside and spill my guts to the first reporter I see. Andrew has nightmares every night, and I don't know what to say to him. It's like there's no way to make it better. Do you have any idea how hard that is?"

Roman just shrugged and looked down.

"It's the worst feeling in the world," Shane said. "I want to tell him I won't leave. I want to promise him that everything will be okay, but how can I say that when the only way to do it is to cripple the ISA or sell out men who saved my life? How could I look my son in the eye if that's what I did to stay our of jail?"

"It's still not right," Roman said.

_No, it's not. _Shane silently agreed. _But that's the way it is. _As much as it ripped him to shreds to admit it, that was the reality. "I'd do just about anything for it to be different, Roman, but I can't abandon everything I've spent my life believing in. What kind of father could I be if I did that? How could I teach Andrew about honor and duty and doing the right thing if I toss those principles aside when it's inconvenient."

"Inconvenient?" Roman raised an eyebrow. "This is a hell of a lot more than inconvenient."

"You're right," Shane said. "That wasn't the right word, but I think you understand."

Roman nodded. "I do. That doesn't mean I don't hate it."

"You and me both," Shane said. The room fell silent for awhile, neither of them finding anything else to say. Finally, Shane motioned to the stack of papers on his desk. "Since taking down the ISA is no longer on the agenda, can you at least help me figure out a way to keep my family safe when I'm gone?"

Shane could see that Roman was still warring over whether to argue with some more, but he eventually stepped over to the desk. "Okay, partner, let's see what you've got."


	226. Chapter 226

Kim entered the kitchen and set Jeannie in her high chair. "Good morning, Simmons," she said.

"Good morning, Madame." He passed her a cup of coffee for herself and a plate of baby food for Jeannie.

"Have you seen Andrew?" she asked. She had checked his room when she woke up, but he was not in his bed. It had been like that for the past few days, ever since Andrew had yelled at Shane in the garden. He disappeared early in the mornings, spent the days with his tutor and Mike, and then spent the evenings sulking and refusing to talk to her about his father.

She had hoped Shane might try again to explain, but he was almost as distant. He mainly confined himself to the estate, spending most of his time in his study - doing what, Kim had no idea. The only time he seemed to leave was to take early-morning or evening walks to the lake, times that the reporters did not seem to be circling the property like hawks.

Kim had barely seen him. The night before she had encountered him in the upstairs hallway, well after Andrew had gone to sleep. Shane had been unwilling to talk with her, and had silently gone to his room. She had heard him hours later, shuffling around and suffering through another sleepless night. She suspected the only night he had slept since his arrest was the night of the arraignment. Shane had been so drained when she had seen him during that day that she suspected he had finally collapsed from exhaustion.

"I believe Master Andrew is in the den," Simmons said, answering Kim's question.

More hopeful that anything else, she asked, "Is Shane still asleep?"

Simmons shook his head. "He was up quite early. I believe he went to the stables; he had his riding boots with him."

Kim nodded. Shane had probably gone riding to clear his head, and figured leaving early might allow him to evade the reporters. "I think I'll head down there."

They desperately needed to talk. She understood why he felt caught between the ISA and defending himself. Shane had always been a true believer in the ISA's purpose, if not necessarily its methods. But he had always refused to give up even in the face of the worst dangers, and Kim was convinced that, just as they had before, they would get through this nightmare.

As she turned over Jeannie's feeding to Simmons and headed out the back door, Kim had an ironic thought. In a way, this crisis might be what they needed, something that would bring them back together. Wasn't that how things had often been between them? After they had split over the revelation that Victor might be Andrew's father, it had been a crisis - her capture by the KGB and the premature labor that followed - that brought them back together. And when things had fallen apart after Andrew's kidnapping, Shane's devotion and support during her trial for Emma's murder had brought them together again. Funny how their roles were reversed now.

But that was how it would be. She would be his support now, and she would prove that she trusted their love - the love she knew he still had for her - and it would get them through this crisis and bring them back together.

She passed through the garden gate and headed toward the stable. The sun was still low over the lake and she wondered if Shane had even waited for dawn before he had left the house. Reaching the stable, she pulled open the door, stepped inside, and stopped in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded as she saw the reporter standing next to the stall that housed Andrew's pony. "This is private property."

The reporter held up her hands. "Please . . . Ms. Brady . . . I know I shouldn't be here, but I need to speak with Captain Donovan."

"So you call or you knock on the front door," Kim said.

The reporter rolled her eyes. "With Salem's finest barring my path and a security system that seems to rival Fort Knox from what everyone tells me? I don't think so."

In the back of her mind, Kim grew anxious. If a reporter could get into the stables, Jericho could too. Kim knew the alarms, sensors and cameras were concentrated mostly on the house and the gardens; that was why Shane had said Andrew could not leave the gardens without Mike. But if any reporter could sneak onto the estate from the lake, how could they stop Jericho? Or any of Shane's enemies who might ambush them at the stable. And wasn't there supposed to be a police unit watching from the lake?

"How did you get past the police to get in here?"

Rachel waved a hand dismissively. "Cops are so predictable. They always change shifts at the same time. All it took was a little encouragement to find out when they switch." Her demeanor told Kim exactly what type of "encouragement" Rachel meant. "As a bonus, I found out that Captain Donovan usually comes down to the lake in the mornings. So I hired a local with a boat to bring me in from the lake during the switch."

"So you ambushed Shane first thing this morning?" Kim asked. That was the last thing Shane needed right now.

The reporter shook her head. "No," she said, almost bitterly. "He's an early riser. By the time I got off the boat, he was riding off. I figured I'd wait for him to come back." She quickly added, "I don't mean you or Captain Donovan any harm. Like I tried to tell you at the court, I just want to help. I don't think Shane's guilty."

Kim did not miss the way "Captain Donovan" switched to "Shane." There was more to this. "So you just want to help Shane, Ms. . . . "

"Knight," the woman said. "Rachel Knight. And that's right. I want to help." She tossed her head and, for the first time, Kim noticed the tight skirt and blouse she was wearing, as well as the three-inch heels. Not your normal stable-wear and hardly something anyone would wear on an early-morning boat ride on the lake in September.

"I see. . . ." Kim was struggling to contain her skepticism, even though she needed to bury it until she had some more answers. "So, tell me . . . How did you meet Shane?" Kim asked. "I think you said it was in Saudi Arabia, right?"

"That's right." Rachel seemed to relax. "I met your husband at a restaurant in Riyadh. He was having dinner with a soldier who was part of a unit I profiled in an article."

"So Shane was having dinner with a soldier. I'm sure there are plenty of soldiers in Saudi Arabia right now," Kim said.

"True, but I had reasons for suspecting there was a little more to it. Something to do with the ISA. And your ex-husband looked like he had been through the ringer." Rachel leaned back. "But then you weren't there, so you may not have been aware of that."

There was something of a dig buried in those words, but Kim ignored it. Kim remembered the bruises on Shane's face when he returned from his mission. "I see," she said tightly. "So you figured Shane was in the ISA, right?"

Rachel nodded. "Of course, he denied it. Told me some story about being a salesman over dinner. Complete garbage. But. . . ." She hesitated for a moment. "But when I got back to Boston, I did some research and found out my suspicions were correct."

There was something in the way Rachel had said that last part that rubbed Kim the wrong way. Kim had been a therapist long enough to detect when somebody was not telling the truth. _That's a lie_, she thought. _She wants something from us - at least from Shane._

Kim thought again that being confronted by a reporter was the last thing Shane needed right now. She also reminded herself that she was supposed to be protecting Shane right now.

"I really think you should leave," Kim said. "Like I said before, Shane's not talking to reporters. So if-"

She stopped as she heard the groan of the large stable doors opening. It opened and Shane, on foot, led his horse into the stable. He removed his riding cap and looked up, spotting Kim. For an instant, a dark look crossed his eyes.

"Kim, I really don't-" He stopped short, as he saw Rachel. Kim saw a mix of expressions cross his face, among them, shock, fear, and discomfort, but then his face turned into a blank mask.

"Captain Donovan," Rachel said, stepping forward. "I'm sure you remember-"

"Yes," Shane said, his tone polite, but cool. "Ms. Knight, I believe."

"I'm sorry about having to sneak in here like this," Rachel said, sounding not sorry at all. "But as I told Ms. Brady, I believe I can help you."

Shane walked the horse toward them, and Kim could not stop herself from adding, "Ms. Knight was telling me about your . . . introduction in Saudi Arabia." Kim waited for a reaction, but he remained impassive.

"Ms. Knight, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is the best time." Shane pulled the horse to a stop. "I seriously doubt you could help me."

"Oh, but I could," Rachel insisted. "Just think how public perception could be swayed with an article that details your recent mission in Iraq."

Shane flinched, but the reaction passed quickly. His voice betraying nothing, he asked, "And what mission would that be?"

"Well that's the problem," Rachel said. "You see . . . I still need to fill in a few blanks, but here's what I know so far. The ISA does a mission in late-August in Baghdad. Something happens that requires the assistance of an elite Special Forces unit skilled in desert warfare. A few days later, rumors emerge from Iraq that one of its top nuclear scientists was kidnapped. And, of course, just a matter of weeks later, international monitors discover all sorts of new information about Saddam Hussein's nuclear ambitions." Rachel smiled. "Quite a coincidence wouldn't you say?"

"Perhaps." Shane turned toward the horse and flipped the saddle flap and stirrups over the saddle so he could begin loosening the girth.

"Almost as coincidental as my happening to run into you and Captain Nowicki at the Al Faisaliah Hotel on the day after that Special Forces mission. And you looking like you had been through quite an ordeal."

"I see," Shane said, still focusing on unsaddling the horse. "So you think I had something to do with this mission."

"Captain-"

He ignored her interruption. "And now you believe I'll reveal the details of that mission, which I'm sure you know would be highly confidential. And you think I'll do that so you can wage a one-woman PR campaign on my behalf. Do I have that right?"

Kim could hear the angry undercurrent in his voice, even though, on the surface, he remained calm and cool.

Rachel obviously missed it, because she smiled. "I knew from the day we met that you were quick on the uptake. So do we have a deal?"

_This is not going to end well_, Kim thought, as she tried to hide a smirk. She could see the tremor in Shane's jaw and knew he was fighting not to explode.

"I'm not a traitor, Ms. Knight," Shane said, turning to face her. "I'm not going to defend myself from these chargers by committing treason. So if that's your 'deal,' I think it's best for everyone that you leave right now."

"Oh how remarkably noble." Rachel sounded amused by Shane's response. "And I thought the gentleman spy routine in Saudi Arabia was just an act. Very well." Rachel paused momentarily, as if thinking. "I just have one question." She reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper that was so crinkled that it looked like it had been wadded up at one time. "Who was Malik? This was quite a nice letter you wrote his parents that I found in the waste basket of your hotel room."

The last few words hit Kim like a slap in the face. _His hotel room_? Rachel's choice of words was deliberate, because she gave Kim a haughty grin before turning her attention back to Shane.

"Let's see. What did you write? 'A dedicated agent' who 'died heroically.' Sounds like you two had quite an adventure."

The veneer of calm dissipated as Shane's eyes went wide and he demanded, "Give me that."

"I don't think so." Rachel shook her head, folded the paper, and slid it inside her blouse. "But you could get it yourself - should you wish to renew our acquaintance," she said lightly, as she turned and began sauntering toward the door. "I'll be at the Salem Inn. Just try not to rip the buttons off this time."


	227. Chapter 227

"So if you hear anything, you'll let me know, right?" Steve said into the phone. "Thanks, dude. I appreciate it."

Steve hung up the phone and sighed. "Thanks for nothing."

"Still no luck?" Kayla said as she walked into the room, carrying Stephanie. Walking to the playpen, she put Stephanie down and turned back to Steve.

Steve shook his head. "Struck out again, Sweetness. I've called in every favor I can, but nobody will tell me anything about that Special Forces unit that worked with Shane.

"Maybe that's a good thing."

Steve looked at Kayla curiously. "What do you mean? Finding that unit is the best chance I have to prove that Shane was on an ISA mission."

"I know," Kayla said softly. "But I keep thinking about what Shane told you. If you try to find these guys, the ISA might come after you." She paused, lowering her eyes. "I know that's selfish, but I can't help being scared."

Steve walked over to Kayla and put his arms around her. "I know, baby. But I'm not going to let the ISA take me away from you and Stephanie." He pulled her closer. "And I can't let that threat keep me from helping Shane."

Kayla nodded. "Just promise you'll be careful. I know Shane needs your help, but Stephanie and I need you too."

"I will, baby." Steve softly kissed her cheek and then released her from his embrace. "Now, you better get going or you're going to be late for work."

Kayla stepped back, walked over to the table, and picked up her purse. "Jamie should be here in a couple of hours."

Steve sighed. He had insisted that they did not need to hire a babysitter just because Kayla had gone back work. He was happy to stay with Stephanie during the day. But Kayla had pointed out that having Jamie come by for a few hours, a few days a week, would allow Steve to run errands and get out of the house without having to bring a toddler along. Steve could not argue too hard with that, and it also meant he did not always have to prevail on Shawn and Caroline if he needed somebody to watch Stephanie. Things already were too tense with them.

Kayla must have noticed the look on his face, because she smiled and said, "I know you don't think it's necessary, but this way you are free to meet me for my lunch break." She gave him a sexy smile. "Those supply closets are no fun by myself."

Steve gave Kayla a crooked leer and sauntered over to her. "You shouldn't tease me like that, Sweetness. I might just call your bluff about the supply closet one of these days."

Kayla looked up at Steve and ran her hand down his face. "Who says I'm bluffing?" Her voice was low and husky and Steve felt his blood begin to warm.

"Baby, you can't do things like this to me when you have to leave for work in-" Steve stopped and checked his watch. "-three minutes."

Kayla grinned. "I guess three minutes really isn't enough time." She gave Steve a quick kiss on his cheek and headed for the door. "We'll just have to pick things up later." Not stopping, she blew him a kiss at the door and left.

Steve stood there staring at the door for a full minute. Then he smiled broadly and shook his head. She was going to be the death of him someday, but at least he would go with a smile on his face.

A giggle from his daughter caught his attention. He walked over and picked her up, saying, "You think it's funny when your mama leaves me like that, huh?" He swung Stephanie over his head and then carried her into the kitchen to prepare her breakfast.

After breakfast, he put her down to play and resumed his phone calls. Despite his nonchalant attitude with Kayla, he was sure that the ISA would know about his search for the Special Forces Unit before long - if they didn't know already.

But Steve was hoping that they would also find out that he had been shut down at every turn. That was not surprising, because Steve stuck to mostly official channels, or at least unofficially official channels. Steve had not really expected to get any information, but he had hoped to throw the ISA off the scent a little.

Now that he had played that part of the game, it was time to move on to better sources of information - his old Merchant Marine buddies. Sometimes, the time Steve had spent in the Merchant Marines felt like another lifetime. A lot of things had happened back then, many of them not very good. Steve's hand moved unconsciously to the patch over his eye.

But one of the good things was the friendships he had made. Bo was the obvious example, despite all that had happened between them, but there were others. Maybe they were not typical friendships and years might go by without speaking, but when the chips were down, those old buddies would be there.

There was a reason that the ISA had used the excuse of an old Merchant Marines buddy being in trouble to make it seem like Steve had left town when he had gone undercover. And Steve had been able to give Kayla her dream wedding on a yacht and a private plane to their honeymoon due to his old buddies. Now it was time to activate the network.

After only a few phone calls, he found a former shipmate who knew somebody who knew somebody working near Fort Campbell, Kentucky. The guy owned a bar frequented by members of the base and said it was not hard to find out which units were at the base and which were deployed.

Steve played with Stephanie while waiting for the return phone call. Within a couple of hours, his buddy called back. Nowicki's and Deakin's unit was still deployed. Steve had been disappointed at the thought of another dead end, but then his buddy said the rumor-mill had them returning within a few weeks.

Steve's buddy promised to call when he got word that the unit had returned to the base. He thanked his friend, adding a promise to send him a bottle of his favorite expensive whiskey as payment.

Steve hung up the phone and sank to the couch. Thanks to his old shipmate, he at least had a way of finding out when the Special Forces unit returned to the U.S. Unfortunately, he still had no way of knowing when that might be. For a moment, he wondered if the ISA might not just make sure the unit did not return until after Shane's trial. That would be just like the ISA. Steve felt his frustration growing again. There had to be a way to find out more information about the soldiers' whereabouts. He just had to think of it.

While Steve was wracking his brain for an answer, Jamie arrived for babysitting duties. Steve grinned as Jamie quickly settled in on the floor with a smiling Stephanie. Kayla had been right as usual. This was a good idea.

Steve kissed his daughter on the top of her head, and told Jamie he was headed out for a while. He had a bottle of whiskey to buy and a Special Forces unit to track down.


	228. Chapter 228

As Rachel left the stable, Kim wheeled around and stared at Shane. Their eyes met momentarily, but he looked away and went back to unsaddling his horse. He pulled the saddle off and carried it over to the tack room.

"So you're not going to say anything?" Kim asked.

"What's there to say?" Shane picked up some brushes and returned his attention to the horse.

"What's there to say?" Kim repeated, incredulously. "How about you running away from England and. . . ." Kim could not even say it. _He slept with that woman._ Kim remembered the talk they had in the sitting room at Donovan Manor the day before he left. She had tried to get him to admit his feelings; she had tried to tell him that they could work through their problems. And what did he turn around and do? _He had a fling with some sleazy reporter_. Furious, she demanded, "How could you do that? You pushed me away and-"

Shane turned around and, finally, showed some emotion. "You pushed me away too, Kim," he said angrily. "Or do you think I was too drunk to remember that night? What did you say? It would be a 'lie.'"

"So you went and screwed the first other woman you saw?" Kim's voice rose loudly. "Was that it? You couldn't have Kayla and then I wouldn't be your second choice, so you slept with her?"

"Why not? Because I'm supposed to be so noble and pure?" Shane snapped back. "God, why are we even arguing about this?" He turned back to the horse and began to roughly brush its coat. "It hardly matters."

_It hardly matters_? Kim was dumbfounded. "Of course it matters," she yelled.

"Why does it matter what happened last month?" Shane said, sounding exasperated. He turned back to the horse, unhooked its bridle, and, without looking at her, led it to its stall. As he worked, he continued to speak. "Yes, I slept with her. I'd been through hell and a beautiful woman propositioned me, so I accepted. It was just one night. I certainly didn't expect her to show up on our doorstep like this."

"So that makes it all okay?" Kim asked. "It was just a one-night stand, so who cares? Is that what you're going to teach Andrew? All that talk about what it takes to be a man? Are you going to teach him that a real man screws around?"

"And you'd know nothing about that now, of course?" Shane said, bitterly.

Kim felt like she had been slapped again. Her vision blurred, not from tears, but because of the white-hot rage that consumed her. She could see that Shane looked sorry, but she did not care.

"You bastard!" she hissed.

"Kim . . . that's not what I meant," Shane said. That was always his go-to response, but she knew it was exactly what he meant. His voice lowered and he sighed. "But you couldn't expect me just to live like a monk. Remember, you divorced me."

"A monk? No, I didn't expect you to live like a monk. I just expected you to have some decency," Kim shouted. "Maybe you could have some standards, instead of jumping at the first sign of a low-cut top and fuck-me heels."

Shane's eyes darkened. "Don't lecture me about standards, Kim. You're not exactly in the best position to claim the moral high-ground here."

She felt her jaw drop and she stammered, trying to figure out how to respond, but he continued before she could find any words.

"You're angry about me leaving England and making love to another woman, but how long was that after you walked out on me?" Shane asked, his voice rising. "More than a year, Kim. How long did it take for you to take Cal Winters into our bed? Two months. Don't deny it. You've said it yourself. So don't expect me to apologize for moving on. You did that a lot faster than I ever dreamed possible."

And there it was.

"You won't let it go," she said bitterly. "You're going to hold that over my head forever. 'She slept with Cal, so I can try to screw her sister.' 'She slept with Cal, so it doesn't matter who I sleep with.' That's going to be your excuse for everything, isn't it?"

"No." Shane glared at her and said, icily, "You sleeping with Lawrence probably counts for something too."

"How dare you," she growled.

"What? How dare I point out the truth?" Shane asked. She could see that he was fighting to contain his anger. His jaw was tight and the muscle along its side was shaking. His fists were clenched tightly. "You have no business attacking me for who I take to my bed given your track record. Not with Lawrence Alamain and Cal Winters notched in your belt."

Kim did not even realize she was reacting before her hand struck his face. Shane's head jerked to the right, but he recovered quickly. He looked at her, stone-faced. Then he returned his attention to the horse.

She tried to hold back her tears as she watched him, but it was a futile effort. They flowed down her face as Kim wondered if this was some type of ploy. It had to be. Shane was deliberately trying to push her away, like he had done so often before. That would be so like him.

But she could not tell for sure. Shane pointedly ignored her, but every few seconds, she saw his eyes give her a sidelong glance. In them, she could see not just the anger, but so much pain.

_I hurt him so much_. If she could just take away some of that pain, maybe they could get through his anger. But how could she do that when he continually lashed out at her, leaving her so wounded?

She tried to think of all the things she might say, but they would just lead to more anger and recrimination. How could she make things different? How could she even get him to listen?

_Why should I even try_?

Kim could see the tremor in Shane's jaw and the flashes of anger amidst the pain in his eyes. Yes, he was angry but he was not the only one.

"Just act like it's nothing then," Kim said, seething, as she headed for the door. "Just act like you don't give a damn, Shane, and you're perfectly happy occasionally sleeping with a tramp like that reporter. We both know that's a lie. You're just too much of a coward to admit it."


	229. Chapter 229

Kayla finished reviewing the supply requests for the lab and made some notes for the requisition forms she would need to fill out. She made another note to review the supply budget to make sure the lab remained on track.

Since her return to work on Tuesday, Kayla had buried herself in weeks of paperwork, wanting to make sure she knew everything that had happened with the lab since her departure for England in July. The temporary administrator had done a good job of keeping things running, but Kayla could already tell she would need some time to get everything back to her exacting standards.

Fortunately, she had that time. Neil Curtis had made it clear that she was free to start working the occasional shift in the ER and, when it opened, the trauma center whenever she was ready. That open-ended offer would allow Kayla to devote her full energy to the lab until everything was caught up.

In truth, Kayla was grateful for the distraction that the mountain of work provided. It was not that she was unhappy. To the contrary, she and Steve were as happy as they had been since his return. The walls that had stood between them were finally coming down and bit by bit.

No, the work provided a distraction from Kayla's discomfort about the situation with the rest of her family. Although largely unspoken, it was clear that the lines had been drawn with Kim and Shane on one side and she and Steve on the other. Kayla's father and older brother were clearly on Kim's side, while Bo and Caroline attempted to maintain some kind of neutrality.

Even Steve's explanation of his drinking binge and Jack's broken promise had failed to smooth things over. It had seemed to calm Roman and Shawn's direct anger, but it had done nothing to remove their chilliness. So Steve and Kayla had basically avoided most of her family since the arraignment.

She had spoken on the phone to her mother several times during the week, but they were short conversations which ignored the elephant in the room. Bo had also called and stopped by, but he was busy with his own life with Carly and Shawn Douglas. Kayla hated feeling isolated from her family, but she supposed she should be used to it. Things had not been much better when she had been dating Shane.

She understood that her family was upset about Shane's arrest and the charges he was facing. She was upset too. The last thing she had ever wanted to happen was for Shane to face some kind of punishment for bringing Steve home - and giving Kayla her life back. She just wished her family could find a way to understand that Steve had not wanted that to happen either.

A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. "Come in," she called.

"Kayla, dear," Julie said as she entered Kayla's office. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Of course not," Kayla replied. "I'm just working my way through a pile of paperwork. Getting caught up on everything is a full-time job by itself."

"I'm sure," Julie said, taking a seat in the chair opposite Kayla's desk.

"So what can I do for you?" Kayla asked after Julie had settled in.

Julie's expression was serious. "I needed to talk to you about some information I received today."

"What information?" Kayla asked, concerned by Julie's tone.

"I had a most unpleasant conversation with a man named Tarrington who, I was informed, is the head of the ISA."

"Chief Tarrington called you? What did he want?" Kayla knew she would not like the answer.

Julie looked solemn. "I was told in no uncertain terms that, due to the charges against Shane and his removal from the ISA, Shane's security clearance has been revoked, and he is to have absolutely no access to the lab or any information the lab generates."

Kayla sighed and sat back in her chair. She could not help but think of all the work that Shane had done to get the lab up and running. He had been determined to find a cure to the virus in order to save Peachy and other infected ISA agents. Now he was being summarily dismissed. Then a thought occurred to her.

"I thought the hospital owned the lab? How can the ISA remove Shane from having any connection to its operation?"

"I had that same question," Julie replied. "Apparently, the lab's access to the CDC and other government funding - as well as virus specimens and the things Carly is working on - require certain clearances and ISA approval. And, ironically, Shane conditioned his donations on the ISA having full access to anything developed by our researchers. The agreement also provided that Shane would be the ISA liaison, but gives the ISA the right to appoint another liaison should they so choose. Of course, everyone believed that provision would only apply if Shane no longer wanted to participate in the lab or was otherwise unable to do it-"

"And they've used it to remove Shane from that position." Kayla finished Julie's sentence. "That's just so unfair."

"Yes, it is." Julie agreed. "However, it was also made clear to me that if we did not comply with that directive, and allowed Shane to have any access to the lab, the ISA would consider the agreement violated and cut off most of our research."

"Which would ruin the lab." Kayla ran a hand across her face. There was no way the lab could keep someone like Jordan Bishop if he could not even get sample viruses. And until the lab had some more breakthroughs, it would not recoup the investment the hospital had made in it. "We haven't even come close to the break-even point yet."

Julie nodded. Then, with a slight edge to her voice, she said, "Look on the bright side, darling. Now you won't have to worry about having to interact with Shane at the lab."

Kayla's eyes widened at Julie's comment. "Do you really think I wanted something like this to happen?" she said, unable to keep the anger from her voice. "Yes, I wanted to avoid any more conflicts between Shane and Steve, but not like this."

Julie looked down for a moment and then offered Kayla an apologetic smile. "Of course you didn't, Kayla. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just-"

"You're just angry at Steve about what happened," Kayla interrupted. "You're friends with Shane and you believe it's Steve's fault that Shane's been arrested." She took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. "Trust me, Julie. You're hardly the first person to make that point to me."

"I guess not," Julie said, eyeing Kayla carefully. "I'm sure this is a difficult situation for everybody. And you should know that I've talked to my grandmother and Jennifer. I know Jack's role in how the story got out."

Kayla sighed. "It doesn't really matter at this point. The only thing that's going to change anything is if Shane can get out from under the charges."

Julie nodded. "I know that Uncle Mickey is doing everything he can."

"So's Steve and, as much as I hate to admit it, Jack." Kayla looked at Julie. "For what it's worth, Steve never wanted this to happen either."

Julie took a deep breath. "I know. I also know a little something about making mistakes and trying to make up for them. I haven't forgotten that Steve was involved in our rescue from that awful island last year and how he helped Bo after he lost Hope." She smiled at Kayla. "I know he's a good man, and I know he'll do whatever he can to make things right for Shane."

Kayla returned Julie's smile. "Thank you. That means a lot."

Julie stood up and gathered her things. "I'll leave you alone to finish your paperwork. Why don't we plan on having a working lunch on Wednesday to go over everything in detail?"

"That sounds good," Kayla replied. "I'll call you Wednesday morning to finalize the details."

Julie nodded and left Kayla's office. Kayla checked her watch and saw that she had some time before lunch. Picking up another pile of documents, she began wading through them. If she was going to be ready for her meeting with Julie on Wednesday, she still had a lot of work to do. She figured she would work through her lunch . . . unless her husband stopped by with a better offer.


	230. Chapter 230

"If you don't help me, there's not much I can do," Mickey said.

Shane looked across the desk. "I thought your associate was researching the law."

"He has," Mickey said. "And he's found a few arguments we can make about some of the charges. But Judge Lambert isn't the brightest legal mind out there, and he's never been big on things like reading legal documents all the way through. Plus he's a former prosecutor, so he tends to side with the government."

"_We'll guarantee the judge and jury_." Tarrington was true to his word. Shane took a deep breath. "So add that to the odds stacked against us. What do we have?"

"What do we have?" Mickey mulled that over. "We have a credible argument that what you're accused of doing is not treason under the statute they're charging you under, because you weren't undermining the loyalty, morale or discipline of the U.S. military. And we can argue that you didn't commit the espionage they're charging you with because you weren't using classified information of the type the law prohibits, but the wording of that law is vague so it may be a harder sell." Mickey paused, before he added, "But, Shane, unless we can convince the jury that you had authorization from the ISA, they have you dead to rights on the expedition against a friendly nation and, once that's out there, I can't predict what a jury might do with the murder charges."

"And what if I wasn't anywhere near those scientists?" Shane asked. He still did not believe anyone killed in the fighting was unarmed. He could remember how many people were shooting at the soldiers when they entered the compound.

Mickey shook his head. "You were in charge of the mission. According to the indictment, you planned the mission and did everything necessary to get it off the ground. So even if you didn't fire the bullets that killed those people, you masterminded the conspiracy."

"And I'm sure the government has plenty of documents with my signature to prove that," Shane said bitterly. "And how long before the mission did I begin planning it?"

"Two months," Mickey replied.

_Tarrington really covered his bases_, Shane thought.

Mickey's voice rose a little. "Come on, Shane, tell me what happened. Give me something that I can use to prove the mission was authorized."

Unfortunately, the only thing Shane could think of was to call the soldiers to testify, and he still refused to put them in jeopardy. He shrugged. "There's nothing I can tell you."

"Fine," Mickey said in a voice that clearly indicated he did not think it was fine. He looked Shane straight in the eye. "In two months, unless you plead guilty, you're going to trial and, with no defense, you will go to prison. If you gave me something that creates some question in the jury's mind about authorization, it might be enough. Many of the jurors will know what you've done for Salem, and they could be casting about for some reason to find reasonable doubt. But you've got to give me something."

"I wish I had something I could give you," Shane said. He could tell Mickey did not believe that for one second. Standing, Shane apologized. "I'm sorry."

"It's your life." Mickey shook his head slowly. "I can't stop you from sabotaging yourself, but I don't understand it."

Shane was reminded of his exchange with Steve by the lake. "I know," Shane said. "I don't expect you to understand."

"If you'd tell me what happened, maybe I could," Mickey pointed out. When Shane did not respond, Mickey said, "At least just think about it?"

"I will," Shane said.

With nothing left to say, he left Mickey's office and headed outside. Stepping onto the street, he was surprised not to be met by a phalanx of reporters. Maybe they had given up after so little success in getting any response from him during the few days after the arraignment. Or they were still swarming the house, unaware that Shane had slipped through a neighbor's yard so he could come meet with Mickey. Whatever the reason, Shane appreciated not feeling like a prisoner for the first time in nearly a week.

As useless as the meeting had been. Shane had been grateful for a distraction. He had spent all morning reliving the argument with Kim in the stable and avoiding her at the house.

_What did she really expect_? he asked himself. She had divorced him, so why was she expecting him to feel guilty about a one-night stand. Like he had told himself in Riyadh, he did not owe anyone anything.

_Then why do you feel so guilty_? Shane tried to deny it._ And why did you say such hurtful things to Kim earlier_? That he could not deny. He had hurt her terribly, by saying the most vicious things that came to mind. He could still see the trail of tears running down her face and could hear the bitter anger in her voice as she accused him of being a coward. He had wanted to respond - had wanted to apologize - but then he had remembered that it did not really matter.

Shane wondered if he should return home and try to talk to Kim. Maybe they could at least reach some kind of truce, so he could spend the next few weeks focusing on what was most important - making sure Kim and the kids were safe and trying to prepare Andrew for a long time without a father.

_How do you prepare a child for that_? Shane wondered. _How do I prepare myself for that_?

"Shane."

Surprised by the voice, Shane realized he had walked down to the pier. Just as surprising, but far less pleasant, was his realization that the voice calling his name belonged to Jack Devereaux.

"If you want another exclusive, Jack, forget it." Shane tried to make that sound as casual as he could, but failed at keeping his anger completely in check.

Jack looked nervous, as he shifted uneasily from side to side and swallowed hard. "I . . . Look, I just wanted to tell you that I didn't want any of this to happen."

"So what do you want? Absolution?" Shane looked toward the water. "Try a priest."

"Shane, please, just hear me out," Jack said. "I can help."

Shane tried to suppress a laugh, but he couldn't. "You're going to help? How do you think you can do that?"

"I want to run a series of articles," Jack explained. "About everything you've done for Salem. I've got the first one ready to go - about Saul Taylor's revival camp - but on some of the others, there are some gaps. Like with the Dragon. I mean-"

Shane cut Jack off. "Save your breath. You're the second offer I've had for a PR campaign today. Like I said before, I'm not interested."

Jack did not give up. He walked close to Shane. "You're not seeing- Whoa!" His sentence turned to a shout as Shane grabbed him by the lapels and dragged him to the edge of the pier. Shane shoved Jack backwards, so his shoes teetered over the water. Only Shane's grip on the jacket kept Jack from falling into the Salem River.

"Wait!" Jack protested.

"Why should I?" Shane asked.

Jack glanced down at the water beneath him. "I'm telling you I can help!"

"Help? I wouldn't need any help if you'd kept your word to Steve," Shane growled. "I wouldn't be facing life in prison if not for you."

"I'm sorry," Jack pleaded. "I didn't know, please. . . . I want to make it up to you."

Shane shook his head even as he continued to glare at Jack. "It's too bloody late. There's no making up for this." He tightened his grip on Jack's jacket and pulled him close, so their faces were just inches apart. "I want you to remember something. When you have kids - maybe you'll even have a son. . . . When you look at your kids, I want you to think of my boy and how he doesn't have a father around because you thought a blasted newspaper article was worth more than keeping your word." He pulled Jack forward so he was on firmer footing. "Remember that."

Jack frowned slightly, appeared thoughtful for a moment, then asked, "So you really aren't interested?"

"No," Shane said, hitting the limits of his patience. He shoved Jack backward, let go of his jacket and walked away, taking no small pleasure in the splash as Jack hit the water and the sputtering sounds that followed. He heard Jack yelling behind him, but ignored the shouts and kept walking.

Shane had no idea how long he walked. Time seemed to lose meaning. Maybe he even walked the length of the docks a few times; he had no idea. Eventually, he found himself at a part of the pier he remembered well.

It was where, after Roman's wake, he had followed Kim and asked her about her Uncle Eric. For some reason, only Shane had been able to see Kim's discomfort with the man.

That was the first time he realized how much he seemed to connect with her. And, then, not long after, he had run into Kim here and she had invited him to Christmas Eve at her parents' house. That was the night they first kissed.

Maybe he should have run then. But Stefano DiMera was out there, and he was a threat to Marlena and Bo. After Roman had died on Shane's watch, he had sworn the same thing was not going to happen to Roman's wife and brother.

So Shane had stayed and, try as he could, he had been unable to stop himself from falling in love with Kim. And with that came a lot of joy and almost as much pain.

Funny, but one of the most painful times had come right here. This was where Kim had accused him of putting the ISA before her and their family after she had lost their daughter. He remembered her question - "_What if you'd said 'no_'?" What if he had just said "no" to the ISA and had stayed home with Kim and Andrew?

Ironic to think of it now, he thought. How different would his life be now if he had told the ISA "no" so many years ago? There would never have been the Jericho mission, Cal Winters, Jeannie . . . . He and Kim would have had their daughter. So many things would have been different.

From behind him, he heard a woman call his name. The painful memory dissolved and Shane could not stop himself from smiling a little as he turned to see Alice Horton approaching him.

"Good after-" Shane paused, suddenly noticing for the first time that the sun was nearly down. "Good evening, Alice. I'm surprised to see you out here this late."

"Well, I was just on my way to visit Bo," Alice said. She seemed to study him for a moment. "How are you, Shane?"

"I'm fine," Shane replied. At her dubious look, he shrugged. "Will 'hanging in there' suffice?"

Alice smiled softly. "I can imagine this must be very difficult for you. I hope you know that most of us believe these charges are nonsense. Tom's spitting mad about them."

"Yes," Shane said. "This is probably going to cut into my donations to the hospital."

"Oh, shush!" Alice's voice rose, but not too loudly. "That's the last thing on our mind."

There was something about the way she spoke that made Shane embarrassed for his comment. He felt like a child being scolded by a disappointed parent. "I know. . . . I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. And I do appreciate your support."

Alice gave him a knowing look. "Mickey told me that it's not the easiest case he's ever had." Her eyes narrowed. "And he's told me you're not the easiest client." Before Shane could respond, she added, "He hasn't told me anything confidential."

Shane looked out at the water again. The moon was just beginning to rise and it left a low trail of light over the rippling current. "I'm sure he didn't. Unfortunately, there's not much I can really tell him."

Somehow, Alice Horton's sympathetic look did not make Shane feel pitied. Perhaps that was because he knew she brooked no nonsense. "I've known you a long time, Shane," she said, in her pleasantly stern tone. "You've never been one to give up fighting, and I don't think you'll do it now. I suspect that you just need to decide what you're really fighting for. And, I mean, what's really worth fighting for."

Alice never was exactly the subtle type, but Shane appreciated the encouragement. He smiled. "Thanks, Alice." Then he realized something and chuckled. "You weren't really on your way to see Bo, were you?"

"You always were a smart one," she said. "Actually, Jack Devereaux wandered into my restaurant looking like a drowned rat."

"I guess I probably shouldn't have done that." Shane did not particularly feel apologetic though.

Alice laughed. "No, you probably shouldn't have, but from what Jennifer's told me, you weren't without your reasons. But she's also told me that Jack is sorry for what he did and they both want to help."

"Tell Jennifer I appreciate it. I just don't think there's much they can do." Shane shrugged. "Probably not much any of you can do."

Alice gave him that sympathetic look again. "Then it sounds to me like you have some difficult decisions to make. So remember what I said. You need to decide what's really worth fighting for."


	231. Chapter 231

Steve smiled at the children playing as he walked through the park on his way back to his car. He had managed to track down a bottle of expensive whiskey which was now on its way via special (and expensive) delivery to his Merchant Marine buddy. He just hoped he got word about the Special Forces unit soon.

He shook his head as he thought about Shane's insistence that the soldiers be left out of it. Shane did not think Steve understood his position, but that was not entirely true. Steve understood that Shane did not want anyone else getting in trouble. Steve did not want to get the soldiers in trouble either. It was just that Steve was not willing to accept that there were no other alternatives - even if he did not yet know what those alternatives might be.

If - and it was still just an if - he got word that Nowicki and Deakins were back in the States, Steve would talk to them and let them know what was going on. Maybe they would agree to help Shane, or maybe not. But even if they would not agree to testify, they might still have some information that could help. It certainly could not hurt to ask, right?

Steve could not help but wonder what he was going to do if the unit did not return stateside before Shane's trial. He shrugged his shoulders. He would just have to cross that bridge if he got there - and hope he never got there.

The smell of Italian food caught Steve's attention. He looked to his right and realized he was just about to pass one of his favorite little restaurants. He and Kayla had made a habit of getting take-out from that place at least once a week before he had been taken away.

Steve checked his watch and realized it was already late afternoon. He had been gone longer than he had intended, but it had taken some effort to track down the bottle of whiskey. Hopefully, Jamie wasn't too upset with him yet.

Deciding Italian would make a good dinner, Steve ducked into the restaurant. As he did, he caught site of two men about 50 yards behind him. They appeared to be simply strolling through the park, just as he had, but something caught his eye. He looked at them again, but they did not appear to be looking his direction. He shrugged and entered the restaurant.

Ten minutes later, Steve left with all the fixings for a good Italian meal. He had pasta and salad and some of the best garlic bread in existence.

"Damn," Steve said, as he dropped his car keys on the ground. Readjusting the bags in his arms, he bent down to retrieve them - and froze. The same two men he had noticed earlier were still there, only closer now. If they had just been strolling through the park, they should have been well past him by now.

"Dammit!" His voice was intentionally loud as he pretended to fumble with his keys. He kept his eye on the men behind him. They never even looked his direction.

_Gotcha._

Steve had learned long ago that the key to avoiding detection when you were trailing someone was to act like you had no interest in them whatsoever. But that also meant looking natural and normal, and nothing looked more unnatural than ignoring somebody doing something that would naturally attract attention - like cursing while trying to pick up a set of keys.

Smiling now, Steve picked up his keys and headed for his car. He never once looked behind him, knowing it was unnecessary. When he reached his car, he went around to the other side and put the bags in the passenger seat. That allowed him to see that the two men were now stopped not far from where he had dropped his keys. They appeared to be discussing whether to go into the Italian restaurant, but Steve knew better.

Moving his head as little as possible, Steve looked around the street where he had parked. Just a few cars away was a nondescript sedan with a man inside. The man's face was covered by a newspaper, as if he were waiting for someone. Steve had no doubts about who the man was waiting for.

Steve got into his car and pulled away. He kept an eye on the rearview mirror and just before he turned the corner, he saw the sedan pull out on the street as well. Steve knew he was definitely being followed.

As he drove, he contemplated taking a few unscheduled turns to lose his tail, but decided against it. They were taking care to stay fairly far back, which meant they were more concerned with being discovered than with keeping him in their sights. This was reconnaissance. If he lost them, they would just pick him up again at home - and they would know he had spotted them.

Steve had not recognized any of the men, but he was sure they were ISA. The only other person who might be remotely interested in tailing him was Lawrence, but he had made no move before this. There was no reason he would start tailing Steve now. The ISA was a different story. Based on what Shane had said, the ISA did have a reason.

Steve pulled into his parking place at the apartment building. He got out, went around to the other side, and removed the bags of food. He fumbled around for an extra moment or two and was rewarded when he saw the sedan pass the entrance to the apartment building.

Sighing, he headed inside the building and walked to the apartment. He unlocked the door and entered, smiling as he saw Jamie on the couch, reading a story to Stephanie.

"Sorry I'm a little late," he said as he closed the door behind him.

"It's no problem, Mr. Johnson. I got my studying done while Stephanie was napping and I always enjoy sitting for her."

"And we really appreciate you being so flexible with your time. And, please, call me Steve."

Jamie nodded and smiled. Steve walked into the kitchen and deposited the bags and then returned to the living room where Jamie was gathering her things.

"I brought some Italian food home for dinner," Steve said. "Kayla should be home soon if you would like to stay and join us. There's plenty."

Jamie shook her head. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm meeting some friends later. I'll see you on Monday."

"Sounds good," Steve said as Jamie headed out the door.

After Jamie left, Steve picked up Stephanie and carried her into the kitchen. He set her in her highchair as he put the pasta in the oven to keep it warm and transferred the salad and bread into serving dishes. He had just finished setting the table when he heard Kayla enter apartment.

"Something smells really good," she said as she entered the kitchen.

"A little pasta, salad and bread from Geno's," Steve replied with a smile.

Kayla walked over for her welcome home kiss and Steve obliged with his usual enthusiasm. When they separated, Kayla smiled and said, "Just let me get my clothes changed and I'll be ready to eat."

"I think you're ready to eat now." Steve's mouth twisted into a crooked leer.

Kayla blushed as she pushed him away. "I was talking about dinner."

"I was talking about dessert," Steve said, still grinning.

Kayla rolled her eyes and walked off. As she left, Steve felt a sudden fear grip him. He had not been scared by the men following him, but what if they were also following Kayla? And what about Stephanie? She and Jamie had been here alone all afternoon. He knew the ISA was not above using his family against him if they thought it was necessary.

"Steve? What's wrong?" Kayla's voice jarred him from his thoughts.

"Nothing's wrong, Sweetness," he said, trying to look unconcerned.

"Then why were you a million miles away just then," Kayla said suspiciously. "I know that look, so don't tell me it's nothing."

Steve sighed, knowing he needed to be honest with her. He hated to worry her, but she needed to be aware and, more than that, she needed to know who was responsible if he disappeared again.

"I'm pretty sure the ISA is tailing me," he said, making it sound as nonchalant as possible.

"What?" Kayla's voice rose. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Steve said, trying to reassure her. "I just noticed somebody following me on my way home today. I'd like to say it's all in my messed-up head, but I'm pretty sure this is real." Steve smiled at Kayla, trying to keep the tone as light as possible.

"Why would they be following-" Kayla stopped, then answered her own question. "It's because of what Shane said, isn't it? They want to know what else you know about Lawrence's operation."

"Probably," Steve said. "They are also probably not too happy with me for spilling the truth about the rescue, and . . ." His voice trailed off.

"And what?" Kayla's tone made it clear her question required an answer.

"And they probably know that I've been trying to find the soldiers who helped Shane rescue me. In fact, I'm sure they do. I pretty much planned it that way." Steve braced himself.

"You what?" Kayla said angrily. "Why would you plan to have them find out what you are doing?"

"Because they were probably going to find out anyway, baby." Steve tried to explain. "If they think I'm running into a bunch of dead ends maybe they won't notice when I get some information from some . . . nontraditional channels."

"So what are we going to do now?" Kayla asked. "How do we get them to stop?"

"We don't," Steve said, remaining calm. "Right now, all they are doing is watching and they don't think I know about it." He gave Kayla a reassuring smile. "So we play their game for a little while. We just act normal and pretend we don't know they are watching."

"How am I supposed to act normal when I know the ISA is following us?" Kayla was incredulous.

"Not us, Sweetness," Steve replied. "I'm pretty sure it's just me." He hoped that sounded convincing, even though he was not sure of it himself.

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," Kayla said sarcastically.

Steve could not help but smile. "It should make you feel better. I know they're there, but they don't know I know. That gives me an edge and I intend to keep it."

Kayla was silent, but Steve could tell by her expression that she was clearly not happy about the situation. Steve walked over to her and put his arms around her. "You have to trust me here, baby. I'm not going to let the ISA take me away or do anything to our family. Can you trust me to keep us safe?"

Kayla looked into Steve's eye and nodded. "I do trust you. You know that. But we've both learned that we can't control everything. What if . . . what if you can't stop them?"

Steve sighed. Kayla was right. He could not guarantee her that nothing would happen or that he could keep the ISA at bay. "I know there are no guarantees, Kayla. But we have to keep the faith that we can figure out how to get out of this situation. Can you do that?"

Kayla nodded slightly. "I'll try. But you'll tell me if anything changes, right? I can't do this if I think you're keeping something from me."

Steve chose his words carefully. He did not want to lie to Kayla, but he knew there might be a time when he would have to keep the truth from her for her own protection. "I promise I'll tell you everything you need to know, baby. We're in this together, after all."

Kayla smiled and pulled Steve close to her. They stood like that for a few moments and then Kayla stepped back. "Now, how about that dinner you promised me? The sooner we get through that, the sooner we get to dessert."

Steve returned Kayla's smile. "Now you're talking my language, Sweetness." He grinned broadly and winked at her. "Let's eat."


	232. Chapter 232

The house was quiet when Shane finally arrived home. Mike met him at the door and reported that Kim and the children were upstairs. Once Mike finished his report, he left for the night.

He was a good man, Shane thought, thankfully. With everything going on, with the police seemingly unable to keep a reporter off the grounds, Shane needed someone he could trust to protect his family. He would sit down with Mike sometime soon and discuss his staying on, regardless of what might happen in the future.

Making his way upstairs, Shane heard Kim's voice coming from Andrew's room. He stopped next to the door just in time to hear Andrew.

"Will we keep living here when Daddy goes away?" he asked.

Kim responded in a soft voice. "Oh, sweetie, we don't know if Daddy's going anywhere. This may all blow over and nothing will happen."

Shane knew she was clinging to some hope that this would be like the treason charges that he faced before or the ones that Bo evaded because they managed to spirit Britta out of Stockholm. _This isn't the same thing_, he thought. And one of the last things he wanted was Andrew losing his faith in Kim.

"Don't you worry, Sport," Shane said, stepping into the doorway. Andrew immediately scowled, a look that cut so deeply that Shane had to take a deep breath before continuing. "The answer to your question is that this is your home, no matter what." That did not garner the reaction Shane had hoped for, because Andrew rolled to his side so he was facing the wall opposite where Shane was standing.

Kim leaned over the bed, whispered something in Andrew's ear, and kissed him on his head. She then stepped away from the bed and walked for the door, giving Shane an icy glare as she walked by.

There would probably be another confrontation, but it could wait. Since Andrew had run out of the garden the other day, Shane had barely seen the boy and wanted to try to mend some fences. Tentatively, Shane approached the bed, still not sure what to say. "Is it okay if I sit down?" he asked.

Andrew said nothing. At least that was better than if he had told Shane to go away. Perching on the edge of the bed, Shane reached out and brushed a little of Andrew's hair off the side of his face.

"I know you're mad at me," Shane said. "And I understand why. If I were you, I'd probably be pretty mad at me too." He glanced around the room, taking in the bright toys, the wall of children's books, the punching bag shaped like one of the ninja turtles, and the child-sized cricket bat sitting side-by-side with the little baseball glove. In a few years, all of those things would be gone.

"Andrew, I would give anything for things to be different. God, the last thing I ever want is to be away from you." Shane waited to see if Andrew would respond, but he remained curled on his side, looking away. "I never should have promised that I wouldn't go away. Sometimes there are things that happen that we can't control, and I know that's hard for you to understand. I just want you to remember that, no matter what, I love you more than anything in the whole world and, no matter where you are or where I am, I'll never stop loving you."

Andrew's shoulders shook, and Shane could tell the boy was trying not to cry. Still, Andrew remained silent and continued to face the wall.

With a resigned sigh, Shane leaned over his son and started to give him a soft kiss, but Andrew jerked away with a curt "No!"

_What did you expect_? he asked himself. A_ couple of nice words and everything would be better_? Andrew had every right to be angry and probably the best Shane could hope for would be that they might come to some type of understanding before his trial. But that was not going to happen tonight. Sadly, Shane stepped away from Andrew's bed, turned off the lamp, and walked out of the room.

Kim was waiting in the hallway, but Shane walked past her to the stairs. He did not stop until he reached the library, where he poured himself a drink. He did not turn to the door even when he heard Kim step inside.

"He's scared," Kim said. "He doesn't know how to process that, so he's acting out."

She was not telling Shane anything he didn't know. Shane took a sip from his glass and turned toward his desk, so his back was to her. "I'm not going to lie to him again. I told him I wouldn't leave, and look how that's turned out."

"I don't get you," she said. "The man I loved would have fought tooth-and-nail to stay with his son; he never gave up." Her tone turned bitter. "But then I guess I haven't really understood you for a long time, have I?"

He knew she was referring to their argument that morning. "Kim. . . . can't we just - I don't know - have a bit of a truce? Neither of us can change the past."

"No, we can't change the past. You've made that perfectly clear to me."

He sighed. "Look . . . I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I shouldn't have made those cracks about Cal and Lawrence."

"No, you shouldn't have," Kim said, sharply. "But you did. That's what you always do. You say something hurtful, then you apologize, and then it gets dredged up again whenever you want to push me away. Well, I'm not going to let you hurt me like that anymore, Shane Donovan."

He drained the rest of the drink and set the glass on the desk. "You're right. And you should be happy to know that soon you won't have to worry about me dredging up the past anymore. You won't really have to worry about me doing much of anything anymore."

"What does that mean?" she asked. He could see worry mixing with her earlier anger.

"What it means is that I don't really have much hope of getting out of these charges." He looked away from her. "I've got two options - and neither of them is particularly pleasant."

"Tell me," she said, her voice growing quiet.

Shane let out a deep breath. "One, I go to trial and don't really have much of a defense. Steve testifies that there were soldiers involved and he was taken to a military hospital. I testify that it was authorized. Then the ISA destroys Steve's credibility, brings on witness after witness to claim it wasn't authorized, and offers a pile of documents that I 'forged' for the mission. Meanwhile, Tarrington's secured a judge and jury that he's assured me will convict, and the result is I spend the rest of my life in prison for murder." Shane stopped and looked at her. "That's option one."

Kim had gone completely white and she seemed to have to catch her breath before she asked, "And option two?"

"I plead guilty," Shane said, simply. "To treason and some minor charges. I'd be sentenced to five years, get out in three."

"But you'd have to admit to being a traitor."

"Maybe you still understand me pretty well." Shane took a deep breath. "And there's one more thing. After I serve my time, I'll be deported to England and won't be allowed to set foot on American soil ever again."

It took a moment for the implications to sink in, but he could see the realization dawn in Kim's eyes. "But. . . . What about Andrew?" she asked. "How can they do that?"

"How can they do it?" Shane took his glass and walked back over to the decanters and began pouring himself another drink. He needed it now. "They're the ISA. They can kidnap people . . . declare someone dead . . . They can do what they want. And. . . ." He took a sip from his glass. ". . . according to Tarrington, it's non-negotiable. So those are my options, Kim. Life in prison or life as an admitted traitor stuck an ocean away from my son."

Kim watched him silently as he walked over to the couch and sat down. He ran his index finger over the rim of the glass. "Meanwhile, I've got two months to put things right before I leave Salem for good, regardless of which option I choose. In light of that, what's happened in the past doesn't really matter much, does it?"

"Maybe not," Kim said, looking down.

Shane set the glass down and leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. "I know I hurt you with what I said earlier. Maybe in some ways I wanted to hurt you, to push you away so this would all be easier on you."

Kim chuckled a little, as she walked over to a chair next to the couch and took a seat. "I'm not sure that would be possible. Whatever's happened between us, there's always that connection. If nothing more than that we have Andrew."

"I know," Shane said, nodding. "And because of that, I know I've got to let the past go. I can't say that it doesn't hurt to think of you with Cal, but it's in the past and I'm going to do my best to leave it there."

"It is the past . . . ." Kim fell silent for a moment, before she continued. "But I know enough, Shane, to know that we can't just bury things. Maybe it's time we sat down and got everything out in the open."

Shane was confused. "What do you mean?"

"What you said earlier," Kim replied, looking at him closely. "About Cal - and about me moving on. You were right. I did move on with Cal too fast. It was the worst mistake I ever made. And you had every right to be furious and to question how I could do that when I supposedly loved you. I would have felt the same way if the positions were reversed."

Uncomfortable under her gaze, Shane looked down at his hands.

"Look at me, Shane," she insisted.

He studied his hands for a little longer as silence descended over them. Finally, he looked back up at her.

"Maybe you can't understand why I got involved with Cal so soon, but don't you for one second think it was because I don't love you," Kim said. "I did then and I do now. When I saw that mountain after they told me you were dead, I wanted to die with you. But I had Andrew and Eve, so I couldn't. And every day, I would wake up hoping it was just some nightmare and that you'd be there - that you'd just been on a mission. And every day, that brief hope would be crushed and it would feel like I'd lost you all over again."

"Kim-"

"No," Kim said, shaking her head. "Everything was so crazy when you came back and then when you got your memory back that we never really talked about this. So we're going to talk about it now." She paused for a moment as if collecting her thoughts. "You don't know what it's like to have to go on knowing that the most important person in the world to you is gone and never coming back. The person you love more than anything - more than life itself - is gone forever. Every day, Shane - every day, I'd wake and feel that pain. And I know it was a mistake, but I had to find a way to bury some of that pain."

As she talked about the pain, Shane could feel his own pain rising. He tried to fight it as he said, tight-lipped, "So you turned to Cal Winters?"

"Yes, I turned to Cal. I was hurt and scared and stupid and I didn't see the truth. Maybe I didn't want to see it." Kim brushed her hand across her face. "I guess it doesn't really matter now. No matter what the reason, I disrespected your memory and our love when I moved on with Cal so quickly. I admit it."

Shane could see tears forming in her light eyes, but she blinked them back.

"There's no way I can ever take that back," Kim said. "And I understand that it hurt you and that I only made things worse by lying about the baby." She looked at Shane. "I can understand why you were so cold before I left. And I . . . I also understand why you turned to Kayla. She was 'safe' after everything that happened between us."

She understood that much. Shane stared at the darkened window. There were some bushes outside that were swaying in the breeze, casting dark shadows as they moved. "We both know I could never love Kayla as much as I loved you," he said. "When you left, Kim . . . . I tried to bury that pain. You have no idea how much it hurt. When I thought Emma had died because of me, I thought the pain was bad, but it was nothing compared to what it was like when you left. I wanted to curl up so far inside myself and never come out."

"And then Kayla. . . ."

"She helped," Shane admitted. "I was able to bury the pain better. It was - is - still there, but for a time, I could pretend that it was better. And Kayla was so sad and hurt. . . ." He paused, chuckling softly at the irony. Kim's hurt over his supposed death had sent her to Cal and had ultimately led to the demise of their marriage. Kayla's hurt over Steve's supposed death had pushed her to Shane.

Kim's curious look prompted him to continue. "She was so sad and hurt and I wanted to see her happy. I guess I thought that maybe we could find a little happiness together." He looked over at Kim. "Nothing that could compare to us, but, at least, I didn't have to be completely alone." He shook his head. "Stupid, wasn't it?"

"No, not at all," Kim said quietly. "Understandable . . . Hurtful, but understandable. Not all that different from me and Lawrence. Except for the part that was intended to get back at you - and the part where I didn't want to see him for what he truly is." She looked down at her hands. "I guess I let my own hurt blind me again."

Hearing her say that was a bit of a surprise, but it only confirmed what Shane had always known. But they were being open and honest with each other. The idea of that was almost amusing. "Look at us," he said, bitterly. "Here we are . . . 'True Confessions' - only a year-and-a-half too late."

Kim looked at him, but did not speak. The room fell silent once more. Shane thought about how absurd it was that it had come to this for them to finally talk and try to understand what had happened between them. Well, if the cards were coming out on the table, Shane might as well play his last one.

"You probably want to know about Rachel, don't you? he asked.

Kim heaved a sigh. "I think I probably know."

"No, you don't really," Shane said, shaking his head. "I mean, you know it was just a one-night thing, but there's more to it. See . . . when I left England, I took an assignment-"

"In Iraq." Kim studied him. "She said that. And you needed soldiers to get you out."

Shane thought about what he could tell her, then thought how ridiculous it was that he was still protecting the ISA's secrets - even with Kim. She deserved to know the truth, damn the ISA. "Everything went wrong," he said. "The intel was bad. No, that's an understatement. It was bloody awful. We wound up running for our lives through Baghdad and, after we got airborne, our helicopter got shot down and we crashed in the desert."

"I remember the bruises when you came back," Kim said.

"I wish those had been from the crash."_ The whole story was nuts, wasn't it_? he thought. "No, the bruises came courtesy of a lieutenant in the Iraqi Republican Guard and the butt of his pistol. That note Rachel had . . . my partner, just some kid barely out of ISA training . . . the lieutenant shot him in the head, and then pistol-whipped me."

Kim's eyes were wide and she seemed to be fishing for words, but nothing came out of her mouth.

"He would've killed me. In fact, he was going to, but that's when the soldiers showed up." Shane stared down again at his hands. "They killed a dozen Iraqi soldiers and dragged me out of there and back to Saudi Arabia."

"Where you met Rachel," Kim said. "I get the picture. I remember what it was like when you came home after a mission had gone bad." She frowned for a moment. "Shane. . . ."

He knew she wanted to ask something. "What is it?"

"I hope you'll be honest with me, but did that happen before? I mean, while we were together?"

"No." Shane shook his head fervently. "I never - I could never cheat on you." He flushed a little. "That night . . . It was actually the first time I was with another woman since before we met. So there's your answer."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being honest," Kim said. "I won't say that it didn't hurt to hear that woman earlier, but I guess I understand somewhat. Though I won't say I understand why you'd settle for some meaningless fling when. . . ." She let the thought trail off.

_When I still love you._ Shane silently finished her sentence for her. But she did understand. She understood the pain and why he had walled her off from his heart. There really was nothing more to say.

"So what now?" Kim asked.

"Now?" Shane shrugged. "Now I've got two months. That's when the trial is, and that's when I'll be going to jail. So I've got two months to make sure you and the children are safe and do my best to help Andrew. . . . I don't know how I'm going to get through to him, but this may be my last chance to be his father-"

"Don't say that," Kim said sternly. "No matter what happens, Shane Donovan, you'll always be Andrew's father. I don't care where you are - whether it's in jail or in England or just down the hall. Andrew will always know that you're his father and, in time, he'll understand."

Shane tried to smile at her, but he suddenly felt like he did not even have the strength for that. The day had been one, long emotional roller coaster, and now he was completely drained.

Kim reached over, took his hand in hers, and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Why don't you get some rest? The world will still be here tomorrow, and then we'll see if we can come up with option three."

"Kim-"

"Shush," she admonished softly, as she rose to her feet. She continued to clutch his hand as she leaned close to him. "I have faith, Shane. I know you don't see any way to escape this, but I have faith in you, and I'm not going to give up until the bitter end." Then, before he realized it, she leaned even closer and gave him a light kiss on the forehead, before stepping away. "I don't care what the ISA or Tarrington says. I believe there is an option three and we're going to find it."


	233. Chapter 233

Steve struggled against the two guards who held him still, but he was too weak to fight them off. One of them forced his mouth open and the white-coated man poured the red liquid into his mouth. Steve tried to spit it out, but the guards held his head back until the liquid nearly choked him.

"Let him go," the doctor said. He had nothing to fear - not with Steve's arms tied behind his back and not with him weak from the months of starvation and beatings. The doctor and the guards left the room, leaving Steve alone, wondering what this batch of sludge would do to him.

_What the-_ The thought barely registered as he felt his body went numb, then thousands of stingers began to jab at his legs, arms and back. They seemed to inject fire into his body; he broke out in a sweat. His right leg shuddered and, though he tried to remain standing, but he stumbled, landing awkwardly on his side.

_What's happening to me_? Steve tried to yell, but the words did not come. His mouth would not work. His tongue felt like it was rooted to the floor of his mouth. And the room was getting dark; he tried to blink, but his eye wasn't working right.

And then the pain ripped through him. The fiery injection suddenly flamed outward. Steve tried to scream. Maybe he did, but he could not hear his screams. His body shook and he writhed on the floor.

_Make it stop_. _God, please make it stop._

"Make it stop!" Steve shouted.

"It's okay, Steve."

Steve jerked his head, shocked to realize that he was not lying on the floor of the compound, but sitting on a couch in a room filled with bookshelves. His heart was pounding. _Where am I_? he wondered.

"Look at me, Steve."

For the first time, since the - _memory_?_ flashback_? - he saw the gray-haired man with the goatee in the chair a few feet away. His index finger was just over a foot away from Steve. Dr. Friedman.

"It's not working," Steve said, between gasps. He could still feel the pain.

Dr. Friedman smiled softly. "It is working, Steve. Your eye followed my fingers as we went through the memory."

"Went through the memory?" Steve shook his head. "_I _went through the memory. _We _didn't do anything."

"Remember what I told you," Dr. Friedman said. "At first, it may feel like you're reliving the memory. But as the treatment progresses, that will change."

Steve's heart was still pounding. That was what the doctor had told him in their second session, where they discussed some of Steve's memories of his captivity. They had decided to begin with the recent one with the poison. Dr. Friedman thought that Steve's ability to discuss that incident without a flashback made it a good starting point to see how Steve reacted to the treatment. They could leave the more traumatic memories for follow-up sessions.

_That was an easy memory_? Steve wondered. The pain from the drug was receding, but he was still aware of it. "I'm not sure . . . . Maybe this isn't the right thing."

"Most patients have that reaction," Dr. Friedman explained. "It's natural. But trust me. I've seen this plenty of times and you were responding to the treatment."

Steve shook his head. "How could I respond to it? You didn't do anything."

Dr. Friedman chuckled. "You weren't aware of me talking," he aid. "You told me all about the guards, and them forcing you to drink the liquid, and what did it to you. I guided you to that point."

Steve was bewildered. "You did?"

Dr. Friedman nodded. "I did." He seemed to study Steve for a moment, perhaps waiting for Steve's breathing and heart-rate to return to normal. "Now, Steve . . . we're going to start again from the beginning." He held his finger up in front of Steve's eye. "I want you to focus on my finger." He waited for Steve to comply. "Okay, so let's go back to the room. The guards have tied your hands."

"My hands are tied behind my back, and they're holding me." Once again, Steve's mind began to replay the memory. The guard forced his mouth open and the doctor poured the red sludge down his throat.

"Keep your eye on my finger," the doctor said in Dr. Friedman's voice. Then he ordered the guard to let Steve go.

Steve was walking slowly, his arms behind him. Then he jerked and looked down at his legs. Steve could feel some of the numbness, then some of the pins-and-needles. His leg seemed to spasm and he was falling.

"That's right, Steve. And then what did you feel?"

"I got hot, started sweating," he replied. "Then it hurt. Oh, it hurt." He felt the pain, but it was distant, more achy than sharp. His tongue felt heavy and he struggled to see.

"Keep your eye on my finger." Something was wavering between Steve's eye and the door of the lab.

Steve remembered shaking as the tremors overcame him. He remembered the pain increasing, growing sharper. He had been shaking, twisting on the floor, begging silently for it to stop.

And then it did. He was no longer shaking. But he could not move. He had no strength to stand. He could not even lift an arm. He gasped for breath. It felt like someone had dropped a load of bricks on his chest. Each breath was a struggle. He continued gasping, sucking weakly for air. The breaths were coming more slowly.

_I'm dying_.

"Follow my finger," said the calming voice.

Steve tried, but he could not see it. His eye was nearly closed. He let out a choking breath.

"You're not dying, Steve. Just keep watching my finger."

Unable to move, barely breathing, Steve laid there and watched the finger move in front of his eye. _I should be dead_, he thought. But he wasn't. He lay there, his shallow, pained breaths barely causing his chest to rise. But it was enough to keep the oxygen flowing.

Then he was being dragged to his feet and held aloft by the guards. The doctor poured another liquid down his throat, which Steve could not even think about spitting out.

"Take him away," ordered the doctor, and the guard dragged him from the room.

"Steve?"

Steve looked up to see Dr. Friedman and his finger again. He was not shaking and, even though he was barely able to breathe in the memory, his heart rate and breathing were only a little faster than normal.

"Did I do it, Doc?"

"That was better," Dr. Friedman said. "Did the memory seem different from before?"

"Kinda . . . especially at first." For a moment, Steve struggled to describe how, before he finally said. "Before . . . it was like I was there. It was happening to me just like in that camp. But this time . . . It was like a movie, dude. Like it was happening to me and I was seeing it through my eye, but it also wasn't." Then he thought some more. "At least, that's how it was for the first part. At the end, it felt some of the way it did earlier. Like I was back to being there, going through it all over again." Steve was perplexed. "Does that make any sense?"

Dr. Friedman nodded. "Complete sense. In our earlier attempt, you did not get to the end, so this is the first time you're experiencing that particular part of the memory. But you made great progress on the first half, which was the part we repeated. That sense of seeing it like a movie. That's the desensitization we are trying to create. In fact, I would say your progress was exceptional." He paused and looked at his watch. "I think that's may be enough for today."

"No . . . wait," Steve insisted. "If I made such great progress on the first half, then won't it be even better after another try. If we can go through the whole memory for a second time."

"That is how the therapy works."

"Then come on, Doc. One more time." _I can do this_, Steve thought. _I just need to keep working. _"Maybe we can get to the end again and it will feel different."

Dr. Friedman seemed to debate the idea silently, but finally said, "Okay . . . Once more."

He held his finger in front of Steve's eye. "Now focus your eye on my finger, Steve. That's right. Focus. Let's go back to that room, in the lab." Dr. Friedman's finger began to move in figure eight. "Your hands are tied behind you, Steve, and the guards are holding you up. . . . That's right, Steve."

"Now keep your eye on my finger."


	234. Chapter 234

Monday morning in the clinic had been busy, but Kim was finally getting a breather. The little girl she had been counseling was now with Children's Services. Kim used the spare time to organize her files and think a little.

The weekend had been a trial. After her and Shane's "true confessions" on Friday night, they had settled into an uneasy peace. She had tried to broach the subject of his trial, but he had told her that there was nothing to discuss.

She also had watched Shane try to get through to Andrew. Their son still would not talk to his father, and Kim had found Andrew more than once crying in the garden. She had tried to explain that Shane had done nothing wrong, but, even as someone accustomed to working with children, Kim had been unable to make any sense of it to Andrew.

_Perhaps because I can't really make any sense of it myself._

As for Shane, she had seen the pain in his eyes every time Andrew ignored him. She also could tell that the strain of the situation was beginning to wear Shane down. He might have slept on Friday after their talk, but she had heard him up late the other nights. He had spent long hours over the weekend in his study trying to find out the truth about the items she had been sent, while also making plans for the house. Roman had come over on Sunday to meet with Shane and Mike to discuss security plans and hiring additional guards.

She had wanted to tell Shane to try not to worry, but she knew him too well. He would push himself relentlessly for the next two months, thinking that was all the time he had to take care of things before going to jail.

There was little she could do to make it better. As much as she wanted to help, his walls were still there. As much as she wanted to hold him and make love to him, a calm "truce" for Andrew's sake was probably as much as they could manage for the next few months.

Just the idea that he would be gone in two months was hard to fathom. When Shane had told her of his two options on Friday, she had been astonished and horrified. She understood that the ISA had to disavow Steve's rescue, but how could Chief Tarrington do nothing more for Shane? Kim had tried calling Tarrington herself, but he had always been "in meetings" or "unable to come to the phone."

Maybe she should not have been surprised. After he used Andrew to strong-arm Shane, he was little more than the two prior ISA chiefs who had betrayed Shane. Nickerson had betrayed Shane's cover to Victor as part of their game and Vaughn had deceived Shane for months about Marlena's whereabouts and had planted Gillian in Salem to spy on him. Why should she have expected Tarrington to be any different? Why had she been so stupid to trust him or the ISA?

A knock on the door jarred her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," she called out and waited for the door to open. When it did, Kim tried to stop herself from grimacing.

"Hello, Ms. Brady," Rachel Knight said as she stepped inside. It must have been casual day at the office, because she was wearing some of the tightest jeans Kim had ever seen and another low-cut, cream blouse beneath a brown leather jacket. Rachel had a manilla folder in her hands.

"Ms. Knight," Kim replied, keeping her voice even.

"The nurse outside told me you didn't have anyone in here. I see she was right. . . ." Rachel studied the room for a minute, before she said, "Interesting."

Kim knew she was being goaded and was supposed to ask what Rachel found so interesting, but Kim was in no mood for games. "If you have something to say, Ms. Knight, say it. I'm working here."

"I see," Rachel said. "I guess it's just that I'm having some difficulty reconciling the sweet woman who cares for abused children with the high-class call girl."

Kim's chest constricted so tightly that she thought for a moment that she might pass out from lack of oxygen.

"I found some very interesting articles in the Salem Spectator and followed up with some sources of mine in Europe. And this article. . . ." She reached into the folder and pulled out a piece of paper. Kim did not even have to look close to know what it was - the article that Victor Kiriakis had planted about her when he was trying to gain custody over Andrew. Rachel glanced at it and then looked back at Kim. "I wonder what the public would think to find out that the supposedly noble Captain Donovan whored out his wife to catch Stefano DiMera."

"That's not what happened," Kim said. "I got close to Leopold Bronski, but never did anything with him. And it was my choice. I thought Stefano DiMera had killed my brother, and if there was a way I could help bring him to justice, I would have done anything."

Rachel smiled, probably because she could tell that she had gotten under Kim's skin. "Anything, is it?" Then she shrugged. "It really doesn't matter what the truth is, Ms. Brady. Once my readers find out what you used to do, they'll assume the worst about you and your ex-husband. After all, if a man could marry a prostitute, it's not such a stretch that he would betray his country."

Kim just stared at Rachel. "What is this? Some kind of revenge because Shane wouldn't go along with your plan the other day?"

"I'm just reporting the truth," Rachel said with a glib smile. "So if you have any response for the record, I'm all ears - or was that bit about 'doing anything' your official statement?"

"Tell me something," Kim asked. "When you slept with Shane in Saudi Arabia, was that just a way to get a story?"

Rachel laughed. "Is that a way of asking if I enjoyed it? Or if the old ex is still good in bed?" She smirked. "I'd never kiss and tell. Not unless you're willing to give me something useful. Perhaps I'd even be willing to drop this little article if you told me about Shane's mission in Iraq."

"Get out," Kim snarled.

With a shrug, Rachel turned around and headed for the door. "You can't say I didn't give you a chance, Ms. Brady. Hmmmm . . . perhaps I should see what your colleagues think - or even some members of the board - when they hear how an ex-hooker is taking care of its most vulnerable patients. And your son . . . what will it do to him when all his friends find out about your prior occupation?" Rachel opened the door, but then turned back and looked at Kim. "All it takes is a little information. Let Shane know that. And remind him that I'm just at the Salem Inn should he want to . . . talk."


	235. Chapter 235

Kayla looked up from her paperwork as she heard a knock on her office door. "Come in," she called, then smiled as Steve walked in the door.

"Hi, baby," he said as he entered the room. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Of course not." Kayla got up from behind her desk and walked to him. "I'm always glad to see you." She leaned up, kissed him, and then looked closely at his face. "How was your appointment with Dr. Friedman?"

Steve gave a wan smile. "I'm not gonna lie, Sweetness. It was pretty intense." He shook his head slightly. "I feel like I've run a marathon or something. But I think it's working."

"Really?" Kayla asked. "Already?"

"Yeah." Steve looked and sounded exhausted. "I still don't understand exactly how it works, but we went through a memory - the one about being given the toxin - and I was able to remember some more details."

"That's great." Kayla breathed a sigh of relief. She knew Steve had committed to trying the therapy, but she had spent the morning worrying that his instinctive resistance to opening up to anybody would derail the therapy before it really got started.

Again seeing the exhaustion on his face, Kayla stroked his cheek softly and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Steve replied, giving her another tired smile. "It's not easy remembering that stuff over and over again, but if it will help me get past it, then I'll keep doing it for as long as I have to." He reached over and brushed a stray lock of hair from Kayla's face. "I owe you and Stephanie that much."

"You don't owe us anything," Kayla said quietly. "We just want you to be happy and home with us."

"I know, baby." Steve pulled her close and held her. "But I owe it to you and Stephanie to be the best husband and father I can be. And if this therapy will help me to that, then that's all that matters."

Kayla snuggled into Steve's chest and held him quietly for a few moments. Finally she pulled away, saying, "As much as I'm enjoying just being here with you, I really should get back to work."

Steve loosened his hold, but did not release her from his arms. "I must be losing my touch if you're choosing that stack of paperwork over there over being in my arms."

Kayla smirked and lightly smacked Steve's arm. "You know I would never choose paperwork over being snuggled up with you. But, I have several reports I have to finish before my meetings this afternoon."

"I guess that means I won't be able to persuade you to join me in a supply closet today," Steve said with the sexy smile that always made Kayla's pulse quicken. She glanced at her paperwork and then back at Steve. For a moment, she was tempted to take him up on his offer, but she sighed regretfully and stepped away again.

"I'm sorry . . . you don't know how sorry . . . but I really need to get those reports done." She gave him sexy smile of her own. "How about a rain check for later this evening . . . at home?"

Steve groaned in mock frustration and raised his hands in surrender. "All right, Sweetness. I'll put the engine in neutral for the time being." Then he smiled and said, "I've got an idea. How about I see if Jamie can babysit tonight, and we can have a dinner out, just the two of us?"

"I'd like that," Kayla replied. "Just tell me where and when and I'll be there."

"How about Wings at 6:30. That should give you time if your meetings run long."

"Perfect." Kayla stepped forward and gave Steve a soft, lingering kiss. When they broke away, she said, "That's to tide you over until later."

Steve grinned. "Now I definitely have something to look forward to." He kissed her again.

Kayla felt herself getting lost in Steve's kiss, but she forced herself to end it and push him towards the door. "Go," she said with determination.

"I'm going. I'm going." Steve walked backwards towards the door. "See you tonight, Sweetness," he said, giving her one last look before walking out the door.

Kayla shook her head and walked back towards her desk and her reports. She worked steadily for about an hour, but then she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Knowing it was unlikely to be her husband again, she sighed in slight frustration at the interruption. "Come in," she called.

She immediately regretted her welcome when she saw who walked in the door.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson," Rachel Knight said, walking towards Kayla's desk. She was dressed in another low cut blouse and very tight jeans. Something about her immediately set Kayla on edge.

"Hello, Ms. Knight," Kayla replied, trying to keep her tone neutral. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Actually, there is." Without invitation, Rachel sat down in the chair on the other side of Kayla's desk. "I'm working on an article and had some questions I wanted to ask."

"If this is about Shane and the charges against him, then I have no comment," Kayla replied. "As my husband and I told you last week, we're not talking to reporters."

"You mean you aren't talking to reporters other than Jack Deveraux," Rachel replied tersely. "I've seen the articles in the paper and some of that information clearly came from your husband."

"Well, as Steve said the other night, Jack is his brother. It would be inappropriate to help the competition." Kayla knew she probably sounded rather pleased about denying the reporter, but she could not stop herself.

"Yes. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be inappropriate." Rachel's words were tinged with sarcasm. "In any case, the article is not about Captain Donovan."

"Then what is it about, and why would you think I have any information that could help you?" Kayla asked, suspiciously.

"I should say the article is not entirely about Captain Donovan." Rachel gave Kayla a fake smile. "It's primarily about the former Mrs. Donovan - your sister."

"Kimmie?" Kayla said incredulously. "Why would you be writing an article about Kim?"

"It's a human interest piece," Rachel replied with another fake smile. "Captain Donovan is big news and people want to know all about his life. Kimberly Brady is part of that story."

Kayla knew there was more to it than that. She could tell that Rachel Knight was not the kind of reporter who would care about a human interest story. She wanted a story that would get her noticed and, as had been made clear the last time they had met, she was not shy about using any means necessary to get it. Kayla did not know what was going on, but she was sure it was not good for Kim.

"I'm sorry." Kayla responded with her own fake smile. "I'm not interested in answering questions about my sister. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm -"

"I understand your reluctance," Rachel interrupted, ignoring Kayla's attempt to shut down the conversation. "With your sister's history, it can't be easy to talk about her."

Kayla flushed with anger and Rachel's comment. Now she knew without a doubt that Rachel was preparing some kind of hatchet job on Kim.

"You don't know anything about my sister," Kayla replied through clenched teeth.

"Oh, I know plenty about her," Rachel replied with a knowing look. "I know about her 'professional experience' in Europe, her association with a Leopold Bronski during one of Captain Donovan's missions, her history with Victor Kiriakis, and her brief relationship with Cal Winters. By my count, that's a Russian spy, a notorious crime figure, and a convicted felon." Rachel leaned across the desk. "Of course, it appears there should be two in that last category. I was hoping you could give me more information about her relationship with Lawrence Alamain."

"Get out." Kayla's voice was even, but firm.

Rachel did not move. "Come on, Mrs. Johnson. I've learned enough to know that you and your sister were very much at odds over her relationship with Mr. Alamain." She gave Kayla a sideways glance. "And I'm sure your relationship with Captain Donovan did not help matters."

"I told you to get out of my office," Kayla repeated, her voice rising. "You can either leave on your own, or I can call security and have you thrown out. It's your choice."

"There's no need to get upset." Rachel rose from the chair. "I just wanted to give you an opportunity to give your side of the story." She paused and wrote something on a sheet of paper and then placed it on Kayla's desk. "That's my contact information if you should change your mind."

"I can promise you, I won't be changing my mind." Kayla's anger was reaching its boiling point.

"Maybe," Rachel conceded. "But I can promise you something, Mrs. Johnson. It's much better to have me as a friend than an enemy. We all have our skeletons. I mean, look at you. First, you married brothers and then you went after your sister's ex-husband. You're very family-oriented, aren't you? That sounds like a headline - 'Kayla Brady - Keeping it in the Family.'" Rachel's eyes narrowed. "You should really think about that."

Kayla fought to keep her cool. She knew the worst thing she could do would be to lose her temper and say something that the woman would undoubtedly use in her article. Reaching for the phone, Kayla said, "You have ten seconds to get out of my office before I call security."

"Very well." Rachel walked towards the door. "It's your choice. I just hope you don't find a reason to regret it. . . ."

Before Kayla could respond, Rachel left the office, making a point to smile as she closed the door behind her. Kayla stared at the door for a long moment, then put down the phone and sank back in her chair, letting out a deep breath.

_Kimmie_, she thought suddenly. She need to tell Kim what Rachel Knight was up to. Kayla reached for her phone and dialed the abuse clinic. Kim's assistant answered and told Kayla that Kim had already left for the afternoon. Kayla thanked her and hung up.

"Damn," she said out loud and she looked at the clock. Her meeting was in ten minutes and she still had to finish the report she was working on. She put down the phone and picked up her report. She would get through her meeting and then stop by Shane's house before she met Steve at Wings. She was not looking forward to facing her sister, but Kim needed to know what was going on. Whatever else was going on, Kim deserved that much.


	236. Chapter 236

"No, I don't want a rent-a-cop," Shane said into the phone. "I need people with skills and experience. This isn't just your basic security job." Shane tossed aside the resumes he had received from the agency. Only three of the ten had any military experience and none were remotely qualified to serve as protection for Kim and the children.

"I understand," the man on the other end of the phone replied. "Unfortunately . . . well, if I may be honest with you-"

Shane was losing patience. "Yes," he barked. "Be honest. Tell me why there doesn't seem to be a single qualified security person within 100 miles of Salem."

"Nobody wants to work for a traitor."

Shane's immediate reaction was to lash out and begin yelling, but he forced himself to control his emotions. His jaw shook from the strain of maintaining his calm. "This is not for me; it's to protect a five-year-old child from a madman."

The other man said, "It doesn't matter, Mr. Donovan. Nobody with any credentials wants to risk their career by working for you. So it's the resumes you've received or nothing. Why don't you review them again and call me once you decide?"

As the phone clicked dead, Shane finally lost it. He threw the handset across the room. It struck the bookcase by the study door and broke apart.

How was he going to do this? The Victor Kirakises and Stefano DiMeras of the world seemed to be able to hire moderately skilled guards. _Why can't I_? Shane had to figure out the answer to that question soon. Two months was not a lot of time to develop security protocols, hire personnel, and make sure they were properly trained.

He was still shaking his head in frustration when Kim knocked on the door and came in. She took a glance at the pieces of the telephone and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess I shouldn't ask how the day is going," she said.

Figuring Kim did not need to worry about the security issues, Shane replied, "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out."

"You're not fooling me, Shane," Kim said. "Look at you. You've barely slept in weeks. First, it was whatever was going on with the ISA and, now, you're wearing yourself out trying to plan everything for. . . ." She did not finish the sentence. "Whatever happens, we'll be okay. We've got Roman and Bo and, even though I'm still furious with him, I'm sure Steve will help out. You can't kill yourself trying to plan for everything."

A voice in the back of Shane's mind told him Kim was right. He was bone-weary from trying to find some information on Jericho or whoever had sent those objects to Kim and from trying to put together a security detail, but there was no way he could stop. "I just need to make sure you and the kids are safe."

"We'll be safe," Kim said.

_If only it were that easy_, Shane thought. If only he could just get a break on these threats to Andrew. "I can't just sit back and do nothing," he said. "I've got two months-"

"You don't know that." Kim's voice rose sharply. Then she took a deep breath and said, more calmly, "You don't know what's going to happen. I know what you said the other night, but nobody can predict the future."

Shane wished he could share her optimism, but it was pointless to try and dissuade her. He walked across the room and began picking up the remains of the telephone.

"Shane?"

He looked up at her and, for the first time, noticed how her face was showing the effects of the past several days. Kim obviously had not been sleeping that much either. Her normally bright eyes were red and the area just below them was puffy and dark. Tension seemed to draw her cheeks and jaw tight.

"I wish you didn't have to go through this," he said. "I'm sorry."

She sighed. "You don't know the half of it."

"What?" Shane stood up with the phone pieces in his hands. "Are you having trouble at the clinic because of me?"

"Not at the clinic," Kim said. She turned away from him. "Rachel Knight visited me today."

Shane knew he was not going to like this. "What did she say?"

"She's been going through the Salem Spectator archives. . . ." Kim wrapped her arms around herself, like she was warding off a chill. "She had the article Victor planted - the article about me and Leopold Bronski. She's going to write about it."

Shane slammed the pieces of the phone down on a shelf. "No!" _How could she_? He began to pace angrily around the room. "That's just not right. You shouldn't be dragged through the mud like this. It's just not right."

"It's okay," Kim said. "I got through it before. I just. . . ."

"You just what?" Shane stopped pacing and looked at her.

"I just hate that my past is going to hurt you."

"That's crazy," Shane said, confused. "It's you who I'm worried about."

Kim shook her head. "She said it would hurt your case. If people read that you used me with Bronski for the ISA, they'll believe you'd do anything."

"I don't give a damn about that," Shane said. It really did not matter. Not if what Tarrington had said about fixing the jury was true. "I just . . . I just wish you didn't have to suffer like this. Your past has nothing to do with this and if that woman had one ounce of decency, she'd let it go."

Shane remembered how the last article had hurt Kim. Victor had tried to use it to force Kim to give up custody of Andrew, but they had refused. The article had forced her to confess about her past as a prostitute to her family and to endure so many nasty comments from people in town. That was the last thing Kim needed to endure right now.

_And it's all my fault that this is happening to her. _He looked at her once more, again noting the tension and strain in her face. "Maybe you should leave," he said.

"Leave?" Kim looked baffled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean leave Salem. Take Andrew and Jeannie and get away from here - from me. If you weren't here. . . . I mean if you were just my ex-wife, maybe they would leave you alone."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Kim cried. "I'm not going anywhere. And Andrew's certainly not going anywhere."

"Then I'm going to stop her," Shane said. He would find a way. He started for the door, but Kim grabbed his arm.

"Wait!" She waited for him to turn to face her. "I need to warn you. She said she'd drop the article, but only if you told her about the Iraq mission."

_And give her classified information_, Shane added silently. _Nothing more than basic extortion_. He looked Kim in the eyes and saw the worry and pain in them. _And what about Andrew_? Would word get back to him if the article was published? With the current circus around his trial, Kim's past could be broadcast throughout the country. Shane could not let that happen; he would do whatever it took to protect her.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. "If that's what it takes, so be it."

Kim's eyes blazed. "Don't you dare!" she hissed. "You wouldn't do that to protect yourself, and I don't want you doing it for me - no matter how much you want to protect me."

"What about Andrew?" Shane asked. "What's it going to be like for him to find out? I mean-"

"To find out his mother was a whore?" Kim said evenly. "If he does, we'll deal with it when he's older. But don't you give them any more reason to go after you just because you think it's the noble thing to do."

"But Kim-"

"No!" She still had her hand on his arm and she squeezed it gently, as she lowered her voice. "This is about me and I'm telling you I can handle it." She smiled softly. "I know you, Shane, and telling some reporter the story would go against everything you believe in. It would prove all those lies they're saying about you. So don't do it."

She said that with such certainty that he could not deny her request. "If that's what you want. . . . I just feel like you'd be better off without me. If-"

"I already told you that was nonsense," she said softly. "I need to be with you. I could never be better off without you."

As she finished, he could plainly see the love and the desire in her eyes. Shane felt his pulse quicken, but he also felt a chill run down his spine. He reminded himself that he was supposed to be keeping his distance, so he pulled his arm free and began backing toward the door. "I . . . I need to go. . . ."

"Where are you going?" Kim asked, sounding confused.

At first, Shane had no idea, but then something popped into his head. Maybe he could reason with Rachel. Maybe he could stop the article by letting her know what it would do. He stepped further away from Kim and said, "I'm going to see if I can fix this."


	237. Chapter 237

Kim looked at the clock and wondered if Shane had managed to find Rachel Knight. She doubted that he could stop her from running the article, though, and hoped he would not do anything he would later regret, just because he was trying to protect her.

Why couldn't Shane see that his need to protect her was part of what he would not admit? That he loved her and needed her. The other night could have been a turning point for them. They had hashed out so many of their issues. Yet it just seemed that still was not enough for them. What was it going to take to break down those walls?

"Mommy."

Kim looked up to see Andrew in the doorway of the library. "Come here, sweetie," she said, sitting down on the couch.

As he walked toward her, she studied her son. The past week had been so hard for him, and he still did not really understand what was going on. Andrew had been having constant nightmares and she had done her best to soothe him. Right now, his dark eyes looked bigger than usual, and showed his anxiety and fear.

After Andrew had taken a seat next to her, she asked, "Did you have a good time with Mrs. Thompson today?" It was hardly the same as asking how his day at school had been, but, even with everything happening, she had tried to keep his schedule with the tutor as regular as possible.

Andrew nodded, but he did not seem particularly animated. In a very soft voice, he asked, "Is daddy really going away?"

"I wish I knew, sweetie," Kim said softly. "We don't know for sure." In the back of her mind, she thought about the deal Shane had been offered. _And if he does go away, we don't know for how long._ She looked down at Andrew. "Right now, I know this is all very confusing for you, but the most important thing to know is that your daddy loves you, and I love you - and I'm not going anywhere."

Andrew just looked down. "Daddy said he's glad he's going away."

"No, he's not. You have no idea how hard this is for him. It hurts him so much to think he might go away." Kim said. "Your daddy had to make a very hard choice, but he couldn't leave Uncle Steve to be hurt." She took a moment to think of how she could explain. "Do you remember when Shawn Douglas fell into that hole?"

"Uh huh," Andrew replied, nodding.

"You thought it was your fault for a little while, didn't you?" Kim saw the guilty look on Andrew's face as she lifted his head to face her. "I bet there was a time when you wished it was you that fell into the hole, not Shawn Douglas. This is a little like that. You see, Daddy always felt responsible for Uncle Steve going away and, when he had a chance to bring him back, he had to do that. But that's gotten him in trouble."

"He said he's glad Stephanie gets her daddy back," Andrew said, his voice sullen. "Why does she get her daddy and I don't?"

"Because your father did a very brave thing." Kayla's spoke before Kim could answer. Kim looked up to see her sister in the doorway. "I ran into Mike outside and he let me in," Kayla explained, then turned back to Andrew. "What your father did is something you should be very proud of, Andrew. He's a real hero. And we're going to do everything we can to make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

Andrew frowned as he looked at Kayla, then back at Kim. It seemed like he did not know what to believe.

"Aunt Kayla's right, honey," Kim said. She glanced up at Kayla, then said to Andrew, "Why don't you go into the kitchen and see if Simmons needs help setting the table for dinner?"

Dutifully, Andrew got up and headed out of the room. Kim waited a second before she stood up and said to Kayla, "So you think that's going to make up for everything? Make nice with Andrew and it'll all be fine."

"Kim, I was just telling the truth. Steve's trying to find the soldiers who were on the mission with Shane." Kayla sounded like she was almost pleading. "You have no idea how hard he's been trying to help. And I know you've seen the articles Jack's printed."

Kim had. The Salem Spectator had published an article about what Shane did at the revival camp and then another about he had helped capture and later killed the Dragon.

"So those articles are all because of Steve?" Kim asked.

Kayla nodded. "Steve read Jack the riot act."

_Maybe he should have done it a little sooner._ Kim felt some of her anger at Steve returning. "He wouldn't have needed to if he had kept his word," she said, letting a little of her bitterness show through.

"I know you're mad," Kayla said. "And you have every right to be, but it can't be taken back. Can't you try to understand that Steve never meant for this to happen and all he can do is try to make it right?"

Kim knew that Steve did not mean it, and Kayla was probably right that Steve was trying to fix things, but Kim just could not set aside that anger. Steve had his life back. What did Shane have? What did her family have? She looked over at the couch where she had been sitting with Andrew.

"Did you hear my son? He's terrified of losing his father again. And from what Shane says, it doesn't sound like anything Steve or Jack - or you - can do to change that." Kim shook her head, hating to even say it. "Shane's going to prison. The only question is whether it's for three years or for the rest of his life."

"What does that mean?" Kayla sounded confused.

"It means Shane can plead guilty and get out in three years or he can go to trial and be convicted by a jury that the ISA's rigged and spend the rest of his life in prison." Kim saw the shock spread across Kayla's face. "Yeah, Kay, not exactly the best options. I don't know if Shane could live with himself if he pled guilty and admitted being a traitor. Not to mention, if he does, they'll deport him right after he gets out."

Kayla shook her head vigorously. "They can't do that," she insisted. "They can't do that to Shane."

Kim could not fight off the jealousy that rose within her as she heard Kayla's concern. It only fueled her quiet anger. "Well, according to Shane, they can. . . . Let Steve think about that. Let him be happy and raise his daughter and have a wonderful life, all because of what Shane did for him." Bitterly, she added, "I hope Steve thinks about that."

"You're being unfair," Kayla said.

Kim sighed. "Maybe I am, but I'm not at the point where I can just forgive and forget. Maybe that's unfair, but that's the honest truth. You and Steve don't have to see what Shane and Andrew are going through. . . . Every time I look at Shane, I see it eating away at him. This is killing him."

"I'm sorry," Kayla said, expressing more of that concern. "I don't want to see Shane hurt."

"Well he's not your concern anymore, is he?" Kim snapped. "You've got Steve back and everything's hunky dory for you. Damn . . . If Steve had just kept his mouth shut. Or if you'd gone that night to get Steve yourself. I mean, what in God's name possessed you to call Jack Deveraux of all people?"

"Look, I didn't come here to argue, Kim," Kayla said. Her voice grew louder and Kim could hear some frustration. _Like Kayla really had reason to be frustrated or angry_. "I stopped by here because I had a visitor at work today," Kayla explained. "And I thought you should know about it."

Kim crossed her arms and waited for Kayla to finish.

"That reporter. That Rachel Knight. She was asking questions about you and about your-"

"About my past," Kim said. "I know." Then, unable to stop herself, she added, "I bet you had a lot to tell her."


	238. Chapter 238

Shane shoved his hands into his trouser pockets as he waited impatiently on the dock for Rachel Knight to show up. He had called her room at the Salem Inn and asked her to meet him here.

He had to find a way to spare his family the embarrassment the article would create. Kim wanted to support him, but she would only be hurt if she did. And he did not see how else to help her. He had suggested earlier that she and the children leave Salem, but now, as he thought it over, he knew they could not. They would still be in danger from Jericho, Alamain, or whoever was behind the attacks on Andrew.

"Damn," he spat as he looked out over the water and fought his mounting frustration. It was like there was no aspect of his life that he could control. Everything was in shambles.

He spun around as he heard the clicking of high heels on the stairs that led down to the dock. Rachel was coming down. She reached the bottom of the stairs and began sashaying toward him.

"I'm glad you got my message," she said, giving him that same sly smile she had in Riyadh.

If she had any expectation of a repeat performance, she was dead wrong, but Shane reminded himself that he needed to play nice for the moment.

"I did," he replied. "I want to know is why you're dredging up Kim's past? It accomplishes nothing."

Rachel stopped a few feet away from him. "Oh, I wouldn't say it does nothing. It got you here and, if you're here, I assume that means you're willing to tell me all about your mission. How about we start with you telling me who Malik Abbas was?"

Shane forced himself to stay calm. "I can't do that, Rachel. Whatever I was doing was classified. Like I told you, I won't break the law for you."

"Even if it saves your own skin and helps your ex-wife avoid the humiliation of the world finding out about her past profession?" Rachel gave him a toothy grin. "Maybe she got through the locals finding out, but once I publish the story, it will get picked up by every media outlet in the country. Does Kimberly really want to hear the pundits on CNN talking about her sordid past or have some French or Italian tabloid publishing an exclusive interview with some past 'customer'?" She giggled. "I'm sure University Hospital will love fielding calls from all over the world asking how it can let an ex-hooker work with children."

"Stop it," Shane snapped. "You have no idea who Kimberly is or what her life was like."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Kim's not who you think she is," Shane explained, trying to convince her. "She cares about people and she's kind. She works at the clinic because she understands what those children are going through and she helps them."

Rachel smirked a little. "So she's the Mother Theresa of Salem, and I shouldn't publish the truth in my article because it might tarnish her reputation?"

Shane just looked at her in disbelief. "Kim's past has nothing to do with anything. . . . Don't you have some decency? You're talking about destroying a good, innocent woman for no reason."

"That's quite a defense of your ex," Rachel said. She turned away from him and added, in a slightly amused voice, "But from what people in this town tell me, Kimberly Brady is hardly 'innocent.'"

Grabbing her arm, Shane pulled her back around. "What have they been saying?"

"Well that certainly got your ire up." Rachel continued to smirk. "That does seem to go against your reputation. What is it people have said? 'Cool' and 'unemotional' were used a few times. And 'British reserve' was mentioned a few more. But then I guess I've already seen what's underneath that icy exterior."

"I'm not joking, Rachel," Shane said, ignoring her reference to their fling. "Write whatever you want about me, but leave Kimberly out of this. It took a long time for her to put the past behind her and move on with her life, and she doesn't deserve to have her name dragged through the mud."

Rachel just shook her head. "For a man people claim has no emotions, you're certainly showing a lot now. Were you as emotional when you found out she was having another man's child?"

Shane froze for a moment. _How did she know about that_? "Who said anything about her child?"

"This isn't that big a town," Rachel said. "Do you really think people don't know her baby isn't yours?"

He tried to mask his anger and shock. The family and some friends knew Jeannie was Cal's child, but they had kept the truth secret from everyone else. Shane ran a hand through his hair and tried to think. It would be bad enough for Kim's past to come out; how could he spare Kim even further humiliation?

"Please, Rachel. . . . What can I do to convince you not to publish that?" He knew he sounded desperate. "That has nothing to do with this. If you report it, you'll make Kim look like she's still. . . ."

"Still a whore?"

"But that's not who she is," Shane pleaded. "And what about the baby? She just a little girl."

"One that I hear you have little contact with," Rachel said. Then she stopped and looked him over. "Perhaps . . . perhaps I don't have to include the details about the girl. . . ."

So that was going to be the starting point of a negotiation, Shane thought. But he also knew where Rachel was going. "I can't tell you about Iraq," he said. After Kim's insistence, he would stick to his guns on that.

"Oh, I knew that." Rachel stepped closer to him. "I was just thinking that I've been in Salem for a week and . . . the Salem Inn can be a rather lonely place."

Shane tensed. _She can't be serious_.

Batting her eyelashes, Rachel gave him a coy look. "You enjoyed it last time."

Now that Rachel had shown her true colors, he knew exactly what she had in mind. Get him into her hotel room so she could try to make him lower his defenses. She would use any opportunity to push for information. He had made that mistake already by letting her into his hotel room in Riyadh, where she found the draft letter to Malik's parents. Besides, he doubted he could trust her to keep her word even if he went along with her proposition.

Shane shook his head angrily. "I'm not going to sleep with you."

"Not to protect Kimberly Brady and her daughter?" Rachel reached a hand out toward him, but he grabbed her around the wrist and stopped her before she could touch him.

"You really are a vindictive piece of work," Shane growled. "The answer is no. Not only was there no chance of it after the garbage you've spewed since you've come to Salem, but I'm not going to do anything to hurt Kim any more. It was bad enough to have you throw Riyadh in her face; I'm not going to give you more ammunition to hurt her." _I've hurt her enough._

Rachel shrugged. "Very well. I guess freedom of the press survives. I'm sure you and your precious Kimberly will enjoy the news the next few days." She pulled her hand free of Shane's and walked to the stairs. Over her shoulder, she said, "That was your last chance, Captain Donovan. Nobody rejects me twice."

As she climbed the steps, Shane raised a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. Just when things seemed like they could not get any worse, now Jeannie's paternity had to be added to the mix. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. Even if he could trust Rachel to keep her word, he could not have slept with her. That would have hurt Kim more than just about anything right now.

A mix of fury and helplessness filled him. "Dammit!" Shane hissed, as he turned toward the water. Then he heard a voice behind him.

"That was one hell of a conversation, dude."

Shane turned. _As if this day couldn't get worse_, he said to himself as Steve walked toward him.

"I'm not in the mood, Steve," Shane warned.

"Fine," Steve said. "I'm not here to fight. But . . . I couldn't help overhearing a bit of that with the reporter."

"Steve. . . . I'm not going to explain. Not to you or anyone else in Salem." Shane turned away.

Steve did not seem to get the message, because he kept talking. "What's to explain, Donovan? You'd have to be deaf not to realize that you're still in love with Kim."


	239. Chapter 239

"I bet you had a lot to tell her."

Kayla stepped back as if she could physically dodge Kim's angry accusation._ She doesn't mean it_, Kayla said to herself. _She's just upset and dealing with a lot. _But Kayla was also getting sick of Kim's unfounded attacks. "You know I wouldn't do that, Kim. I didn't say anything."

"And I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"Yes," Kayla said, her voice rising. "You can't possibly believe I'd hurt you like that."

"Right now, I don't know what to believe." Kim walked over to the desk. "It would make so much sense. Steve sabotages Shane; you sabotage me."

"What are you talking about?" Kayla could not understand this vitriol. "I would never sabotage you. And I told you . . . Steve didn't sabotage Shane." Kayla was starting to reach the limits of her own patience. "I'm your sister, Kim."

"Then where were you the weekend Shane was arrested?" Kim hissed. "You were busy telling Steve he didn't do anything wrong. Who cares about family? It seems I'm only your sister when it suits you. It doesn't really count when you're defending Steve. Or when you're chasing after Shane."

_That's it_, Kayla thought. "Now wait a minute," she said, her anger coming through clearly. "I thought we got things straight in England. Now you want to throw that in my face?"

"Maybe we didn't get things as straight as you think," Kim said. "Maybe if you'd left well enough alone, none of this would have happened. If not for you chasing after Shane, Steve wouldn't have kept blowing up at Shane for every little thing and everything would be different."

"I'm not going to do this, Kim," Kayla was almost shouting. "If you want to start going down the road of 'what ifs,' how about you take some responsibility? I didn't destroy your marriage. I didn't have another man's baby and lie about it to the man I supposedly loved."

Kim's eyes went wide. "How dare you!"

"No," Kayla said. "You want to keep blaming me and Steve for everything, but I'm not Pop. I'm not blind to the truth."

"And what truth would that be?" Kim shouted.

"That you're not some perfect angel like Pop always made you out to be!" Kayla yelled back. "God, do you know how many times I had to listen to him go on and on about you being his 'best and brightest'? How you were going to go places and be somebody, and what was I? I was the good, little sister who didn't matter at all."

Kim shook her head. "Oh, so now this is all about your old resentments? Papa loved Kimmie more, so poor little Kayla? I don't have time for this." She started to walk toward the door, but Kayla grabbed her arm.

"You do have time, and you're going to listen to me for once," Kayla said. "I'm sick and tired of taking the blame for your mistakes. I'm not responsible for what you've done to mess up your life. Don't blame me because Shane didn't want you back. And don't blame me because your past is being dredged up. I wasn't the one who slept her way through Europe."

Kim's hand moved so fast, Kayla had no chance to dodge it. It connected with her cheek and she winced in pain, then raised her hand to where the slap had struck.

For a moment, neither of them said a word. Tears were running down Kim's face, but she spoke with fury and pain.

"You think I liked that?" Kim cried. "You think I didn't hate what I'd become? After having Papa always talking about what great things I'd do? You don't get it. You had the easy time. Nobody expected anything of you, so you didn't have to try to be perfect even when you were broken inside."

Kayla was still smarting from the slap, so Kim's words only partially registered. In a low, tight voice that strained to contain her own anger, she said, "I'm sorry for what you went through, Kim, but that's not my fault, and you can't blame me for what happened when we were kids."

"I'm not the one who brought up Papa," Kim pointed out. "And I wasn't talking about the past. I was talking about just a few months ago - when you decided to take up with the man you knew I loved. And don't tell me you didn't know he still loved me. I know you did. Shane admitted it to me the other night."

"You walked out on him," Kayla said.

"It didn't matter!" Kim cried, as she continued to glare at Kayla. "I'm your sister. A true sister doesn't go after her sister's husband, no matter what. You knew what Shane meant to me. You know what we had. You knew, but you didn't care, because you were selfish and didn't give a damn about who you were hurting!"

Kayla started to protest, but then thought, _I'm not the bad guy here; why am I defending myself_? She shook her head. "Believe what you want, Kim. . . . Hate me. Resent me. I'm not the one who said things were over with Shane and I'm not the one who decided to get involved with Lawrence Alamain. Hell, you pushed me to Shane when I tried to step away. So you're not going to make me feel guilty for this. I'm not going to be the bad guy here." Kayla took a deep breath. "I came here to warn you about that reporter and I did that, so I'm going to leave now."

"Then leave," Kim said, the bitterness still plain.

Kayla nodded. "I will. And maybe when you've calmed down and thought about things a little more, we can talk. . . . Obviously, there are still a lot of things we need to deal with. And when you see Shane, tell him that we're going to do everything we can to help."

Instead of responding, Kim turned her back and stood silently.

_Fine. Go ahead and ignore me_, Kayla thought. She hated the anger and bitterness, but she was not responsible for all of Kim's problems and she was sick of feeling guilty about her relationship with Shane. There were far more important things right now than dwelling on the past. As Kayla reached the library door, she glanced back at Kim, who still had her back turned. Her back and shoulders were shaking as if she were crying. For an instant, Kayla wanted to comfort her sister, but then she remembered Kim's hurtful accusations. As Kayla's anger began to rise again, she turned away and left the room. She had her husband waiting for her at Wings, and she was not going to let Kim or anyone else make her feel guilty for that.


	240. Chapter 240

"So are you gonna deny it, Donovan?" Steve prodded. "From what I heard, it's pretty clear you're still hung up on Kim."

"That's really none of your business," Shane said.

Steve raised his hands. "Hey . . . You don't want to talk about it, fine with me. That reporter's a pretty hot number though. To turn her down-"

Shane's eyes darkened. "Drop it."

"Okay, okay." Steve hesitated, but added, "I do want you to know that I don't know where she got her information about Jeannie. It wasn't from Kayla or me."

"You sure about that this time?" Shane said evenly. "You didn't go on another bender in the past few days?"

Steve winced at the reminder, but he probably deserved it. He was about to say that when Shane said, "Forget it. I shouldn't have said that. She probably got it from the ISA."

"No, dude. It's okay. I deserved that." Steve shoved his hands into the pocket of his leather jacket. "You know I'd do anything to have never had that happen."

"I know." Shane sounded sincere and they both fell silent for a moment, before Shane spoke again. "I guess we both made a bunch of mistakes. I should've told you everything about the ISA. I just thought there was enough conflict between us that it would just add gasoline to the fire, and you'd been through enough already."

Steve was taken aback. In all the years Steve had known Shane, he had never apologized. Hell, Steve could only remember one time - his keeping secret about Drew and Roman - that Shane even seemed to question something he had done. But then Steve took a good look at Shane, catching the way he did not look Steve in the eye and noting the worn and tired expression on Shane's face.

_He's given up_, Steve thought.

"Are you having any trouble from them?" Shane asked.

_Them_? It took Steve a moment to realize that Shane meant the ISA. "Nothing I can't handle. Just surveillance so far."

Shane nodded. "That sounds about right. Keep on the lookout for visits from the gas or electric company. That's how they plant bugs. They'll probably wait for a time when you and Kayla are gone, and will go through the super in the building." He seemed to think for a minute. "They won't try to take you from the apartment, unless it's in a back staircase or the garage. When you're out, try to stick to places where there would be witnesses. That's the last thing Tarrington would want."

"Sounds like you've got experience with this type of thing," Steve said, eyeing Shane closely. It was a stark reminder that Shane had been deeply enmeshed in the ISA culture. He knew the way they thought. _No_, Steve told himself. _He thinks the way they think._

"You know, Donovan," Steve said. "I know you're into this play-by-the-rules way of thinking, but I just don't get why you're willing to let them sell you out like this. I know-" He held up his hands when Shane started to respond. "I know it's just the way it is, but let me ask you this: Why is it that you think other people's families - like Deakins' - are more important than your own? Don't you want to fight to be with Andrew and Kim?"

"Of course, I want to be with them." Shane answered so angrily and quickly that Steve wondered if Shane was even aware of how he had included Kim in his response. Then Shane took a slow breath and said, more calmly, "It's just . . . I told you. I won't ask anyone to take my place." Shane seemed to think for a moment and then asked, "Do you remember when we were in that cave with Jericho, and you wanted to trade him for Marcus?"

"Sure." Of course, Steve remembered. Shane had been reluctant to give up his prize prisoner, but Steve had convinced Shane to do it. "You didn't want to, but I told you how Marcus was my homeboy."

"Yeah, well, that decision was suicidal," Shane said. "Once we turned Jericho over, they could've shot us all on the spot. Not to mention what happened when I tried to recapture him."

"You didn't know about the explosives," Steve pointed out. "And you didn't have to go after him." Steve felt almost foolish as he finished saying that. He was talking about Shane. Of course, Shane would have done everything he could to finish the mission. "Anyway, what does what happened at that camp have to do with anything?"

Shane looked at him closely. "With everything that happened - getting caught in that explosion, losing my memory, even what happened with Kim - I never once regretted that we chose to save Marcus' life. Never once did I think everything would have been better if we'd just let Marcus die. Just like I've never regretted getting you out of Alamain's compound. I could've left you there and things would probably be a damn sight better for me if I had, but I couldn't do that." Shane's voice began to rise. "So, yes, I wish there was a way to fight the charges, but asking Deakins or Nowicki or any of those other soldiers to testify would be just like if I'd left Marcus with Jericho or you with Alamain. And unless you want to tell me your life's worth less than mine, and it would be better that Stephanie grow up without her father than it would be for Andrew, you'll see that." Shane paused and looked out over the water. "It's not that Deakins' family is more important than mine. It's just that his family is important too, and I made all the decisions that led to this, so I'm the one who'll accept the consequences."

In a way, Steve understood. He really did and, due to that, he knew better than to mention his calls to Kentucky for information on the Special Forces unit. But he could not stop himself from saying, "There's got to be some way out."

Shane shook his head slowly as he turned back. "I know you mean well, Steve, but just let it go. You've-" He stopped short and his eyes fixed on something behind Steve. He saw Shane stiffen and his eyes narrow, before Steve turned around to see what had caught Shane's attention.

Some men were coming down the stairs. They looked like dockworkers or fisherman. And they did not look pleased.

"Let's go," Shane said, his voice low. He started to pull Steve away from the approaching men, but stopped.

_Too late_. Steve had looked over Shane's shoulder and realized the men on the stairs had some friends, who had come up on the other side. Steve did a quick count. Three to the right, on Shane's side. Five to the left, close to Steve. _Not exactly the best odds_.

"You're that traitor, ain't you," said the man in front of the pack that had come down the stairs.

"Me?" Steve said quickly, before Shane could answer. "No, dude. You've got me confused with somebody else."

"Not you, smart-ass." The man, who Steve figured outweighed him by about 50 pounds, pointed at Shane. "Him."

Steve stepped toward the man. "Hey . . . Lay off. My friend hasn't exactly had the best week."

"Yeah? Well it ain't about to get any better." The man glared at Shane. "My brother's in Kuwait right now and they're sayin' your buddy's hurtin' our soldiers."

"Look," Steve said. "You don't know what you're talking about." He glanced over his shoulder to see that some of the other men were stepping closer to Shane.

"Steve, get out of here," Shane said, his voice grim.

With a shake of his head, Steve replied, "So you can get your head bashed in? I don't think so. You're good, Donovan, but not eight-on-one good."

"It's 10," Shane said, motioning at some new arrivals. "But odds don't really matter. I'm out on bail, remember. Getting into a brawl's not going to help."

_Hell no,_ Steve thought. The way Shane was talking, he would probably just let these guys beat the crap out of him without fighting back. "Sorry, dude," Steve said. "You've got no choice on this one."

Before Shane could say anything else, Steve sent a right cross into the ribs of the man with the soldier brother.

"Dammit, Steve," he heard Shane say, but after that, the only sounds he heard were cries of pain, punches striking flesh, and bodies hitting the dock.

Steve took a punch to the cheek that sent him staggering, but he managed to stay on his feet and duck another punch. He felt something wet on the side of his face and realized the punch had drawn blood. The man must have been wearing a ring.

Out the corner of his eye, he spotted Shane knock one his attackers back with a kick, then sidestep a punch from another, and flip a third that charged toward him. It seemed like he had gotten over his original resistance to fighting just fine.

_Whoa_! Steve barely managed to duck a punch and decided he needed to focus on his own problems. He rammed a shoulder into one of the men surrounding him. The air rushed out of the man's lungs with a whoosh, and Steve quickly followed with a sharp, short fist to the face. The man went down and stayed there.

"Who's next?" Steve growled. The numbers had thinned significantly. Only two men still faced him. He heard someone moving behind him and glanced quickly to see Shane casually approaching. He must have finished off his opponents. Steve looked back at the other men. "Two on two. Now the odds seem a little more fair."

The two men looked quickly at one another and then turned and ran for the stairs.

"Cowards," Steve muttered as he studied the dock. Several men were on the ground, nursing wounds. The man with the brother in Kuwait was on his hands and knees, spitting out some blood and, Steve thought, also a tooth. Steve had no idea which of them was responsible for that damage.

"You couldn't resist," Shane muttered to Steve.

"You've got to fight back at some point, Donovan," Steve replied. "I'm sick of this lay-down-and-die crap." He walked over to the man and pulled him to his feet. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and took out his driver's license. "Now listen to me. Whatever you've heard about Shane Donovan is BS. The man's innocent and I don't appreciate goons trying to hurt innocent men. And if you've got any idea about reporting anything to the cops, remember that I've got this." Steve held up the man's driver's license. "I know where you live. And I don't care if it's some other guy that goes to the cops. I'm holding you responsible." _See I can think like the ISA too._

"Steve." Shane grabbed Steve's shoulder. "Let him go."

"Yeah, you're right." Steve shoved the man away and tossed his wallet at him. Still waving the license, he added, "Remember what I said."

Wiping away the blood trickling from his cut cheek, Steve followed Shane to the stairs. Shane did not seem much worse for wear.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

Shane wheeled around. "Why the blazes did you do that?".

"I wasn't about to let you get your ass kicked?" Steve just shook his head. "Besides, don't tell me that didn't feel good."

Shane raised his hand to his head, which he shook from side to side. But Steve thought he heard a bit of a laugh and he detected a trace of a smile on Shane's face.

"See, dude, maybe there are some benefits to fighting back." Shane waited for a response, wondering if Shane had gotten the message.

"Don't." Shane had lowered his hand and was looking at Steve again. Any hint of mirth was gone. "I told you, Steve. Just let it go."

As Shane walked away, Steve wiped his cheek again and shook his head. _Sorry, Donovan. I'm not letting it go. You've got too much worth fighting for. _


	241. Chapter 241

Kim wiped the tears from her eyes as she heard the door slam behind Kayla. _How could Kayla say those things_? _And how could she defend herself_? _She knew I loved Shane, but she still stole him away from me._

Shaking her head, she walked over to the teapot. Kim had thought she had put aside her anger and resentment over Kayla's relationship with Shane, but, in one fell swoop, it had all come rushing back out.

_But then I'm not the only one with old resentments._

Kim could hardly believe that Kayla had brought up Papa. How could she want to argue over whose childhood was worse? So Papa didn't have the same bond that he had with Kim; Kayla never had to go on Uncle Eric's special outings.

"Kay should think about that a little," Kim muttered as she reached the stand with the tea. It was lukewarm, so she decided not to bother.

With everything going on, why did Kayla have to bring up Papa? She acted like being called his "best and brightest" was something Kim enjoyed. Didn't she understand that it had been an albatross around Kim's neck her entire life?

From the time she could understand the words, she had been expected to be something. She was supposed to go places and do great things. So Kim studied hard, made good grades, and was the apple of her father's eye, despite feeling like she was nothing. No, that wasn't right. She had been less than nothing.

But all those years with Uncle Eric had taught her a few things. Roman and Bo always considered Kim the quiet, shy member of the family, but she had a side she had kept from them. Kayla knew. There were some things that only sisters knew.

A thought flashed in her mind and Kim remembered back to the Homecoming Dance her senior year. Kayla had been a sophomore and had spent her entire freshman year like a puppy dog following after Charlie Rogers. Then during Kayla's sophomore year, he had asked her to go to Homecoming with him. Kayla was over-the-moon with excitement. The love of her life had asked her to the dance.

Kim still could not explain why she did it. She had been jealous, maybe. She had broken up with her boyfriend a few days earlier, so she had been hurt and lonely. Maybe it was just that she could not accept that little sis was having better luck in the love department.

So Kim had walked over to Charlie as he was getting some punch for Kayla. They talked, while she let her top come open a little, and then made a point of brushing against him. Then she had asked why he was "playing with little girls" when he could actually find out what a woman was like.

Charlie did not say another word to Kayla that night.

After the dance, Charlie drove Kim out to the Saybrook Woods, they moved into the back seat, and Kim showed him what a woman could do. She did things, even in the mid-1970s, that none of the "good" girls in Salem did. But, deep inside, Kim knew she was not one of the good girls.

Kim thought back to when she had arrived home that night. Kayla had known exactly what had happened. Like Kim had thought earlier; sisters just knew. When Kim got home, they had one of the worst fights they had ever had. _Sort of like tonight_, the thought came, unbidden, to Kim's mind. She remembered Kayla calling her a 'slut' and then locking herself in the bathroom for hours - until Bo knocked the bathroom door off its hinges trying to get inside.

Kim wondered if Kayla's pursuit of Shane was revenge for that adolescent drama. Charlie had meant something to Kayla, and Kim had destroyed that. And Kayla knew exactly what Shane meant to Kim. Kayla even knew that she and Shane would never love each other with the intensity and passion that Kayla had loved Steve or Kim had loved Shane.

_Shane and I were soulmates. We're connected_ _by something Kayla could never understand. _

And now Kim was supposed to feel guilty because Kayla's relationship with Shane had started this domino effect that now threatened to destroy everything important to Kim. She knew she bore some of the blame and so did Shane, but everything would have been different if Kayla had just shown some self-restraint.

_I won't feel guilty about that_, she said to herself. _I can accept my own responsibility, but I'm not the only one who made a mess of things. _

Kim took a deep breath and decided to head for the kitchen to see if Simmons needed any help. Maybe spending some time with Andrew would help her forget about Kayla for a while.

She had just turned down the hallway to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She turned, but, like a bullet, Mike reached the door before she could. He opened it took a large envelope from a deliveryman. After studying it for a moment, Mike held it up to his ear.

"I think it's okay," he said, as he lowered it. "No wires or unusual sounds."

Kim shuddered at the reminder of the danger her family was in.

Mike turned the package over and Kim realized he was holding it by the corners. "The return address is a P.O. Box in Columbus." He looked at her, his dark eyes showing some concern. "Would you prefer if I opened it?"

Kim nodded slightly. She knew the envelope was from whoever had targeted Andrew, and was thankful that she did not have to open it alone.

Mike pulled a pocket knife from his pocket and sliced through the top of the envelope. He walked over to an accent table in the foyer and tipped the envelope so the contents slid out.

With a sense of dread, Kim stepped over to the table to look at what their stalker had sent.

"Photographs," Mike said. Using the knife, he separated them so Kim could get a view.

_Oh God!_ Kim screamed silently.

The photographs showed Shane standing near the edge of the lake at dusk, Andrew riding his bike under Mike's watchful eye, and Kim holding Jeannie through the library window. There were others - all pictures of the family in and around the mansion, as well as some of Shane outside Mickey's office and Kim entering the hospital.

But that was not what made Kim's heart stop.

In each photo, over every image of Kim, Andrew, and Jeannie was a big red "X."


	242. Chapter 242

Just a quick response to the reader who felt like the last scene bashed Kim. That was not the intent. Kim, like the other characters, is intended to be a very human and sometimes flawed character. As the foreward said, sometimes these characters are going to make mistakes and say or do hurtful things. And sometimes, even the most noble characters are going to show some warts.

Right now, Kim is going through hell. The man she loves is facing a lifetime in prison and keeps pulling away from her. Her son has been traumatized. And the events of the previous year have created a lot of strain on her relationship with Kayla. It felt natural that she would lash out. Some of her anger may be misdirected, but Kim also had some fair points about Kayla pursuing Shane, something she has never directly raised with her sister.

And, in some ways, it's equally natural that Kayla pushed back. During this time on the show, for the first time, Kayla expressed some resentments some of Kim and Shawn's favoritism, albeit to others (to Shawn and RoJohn). None of that came out directly, and, imo, has been festering beneath the surface. Now that those issues have been expressed, hopefully, it can lead to some exploration of Kim's and Kayla's relationship and their different perspectives on their childhoods as they come to some resolution of their conflict.

By the way, Kim and Shane fans may not be aware of this, but the story of Kim stealing Charlie from Kayla actually is canon. It's something that Kayla describes in her 2006 return, including the details about Kayla and Kim fighting afterward, Kayla locking herself in the bathroom, and Bo knocking down the door.

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Steve walked through the front door of Wings, and peeked around the corner into the dining room. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he did not see Kayla waiting for him. That meant he would have time to duck into the bathroom and clean up the cut on his cheek before Kayla saw it. He knew he would still have to explain what happened, but at least he would not be bleeding in the process.

Steve jumped as he heard Julie's voice behind him. "Why Steven, whatever are you doing peeking around the corner of my restaurant?"

Turning around slowly in an attempt to keep his cheek out of Julie's view, Steve said, "I'm supposed to be meeting Kayla for dinner tonight. I was just checking to see if she'd beaten me here."

"Really?" Julie asked, dryly. Stepping over to the maitre d's stand, she reached down and pulled out a first aid kit. She walked back to Steve and handed it to him. "I'm sure Kayla would appreciate it if you weren't bleeding during dinner."

Steve gave Julie a wry grin. "Can't get anything past you, huh?" He opened the kit and pulled out some gauze.

"Not often," Julie replied. Eyeing the cut on Steve's face, she sighed. "Please tell me you weren't fighting with Shane again."

"I guess that depends on how you define 'with,'" Steve said, still grinning while holding a piece of gauze from the first aid kit against his cheek.

"Steve-" Julie's voice began to rise, before Steve cut her off.

"I wasn't fighting Shane, Julie." Steve held his hand up. "Scouts honor."

"Then what was that 'fighting with' nonsense?" Julie asked with a bit of a glare.

Steve sighed, "Some over-patriotic dudes decided that they were going to teach Shane a lesson." He shrugged. "So I decided they needed to learn a lesson about 'innocent until proven guilty' instead."

"And Shane?" Julie asked.

"Well I don't think Shane was thrilled about my lesson plan, but he jumped in. I think it was good for him to remember what it means to fight for something." Steve checked the gauze. It appeared the bleeding had stopped. "I'm going to duck into the bathroom and finish cleaning this up. Do you think you could find Kayla and me a table? She should be here before too long."

"I'm sure I can find something for Salem's newest educator," Julie replied with a sarcastic grin. "Just promise me you won't be teaching any civics lessons in my establishment."

Steve chuckled. "I promise." Still carrying the first aid kit, he headed for the men's room. It only took a few minutes to finish cleaning the wound on his cheek. There was no way to hide the small welt and cut that must have come from the first dude's ring, but at least it was fairly small and shallow.

Taking one last look in the mirror and deciding it was as good as it was going to get, Steve headed back out to the restaurant. Dave greeted him and Steve returned the first aid kit. As Dave escorted Steve to his table, he noticed Rachel Knight sitting at the bar. She flashed him a brilliant smile and Steve nodded back politely, trying not to roll his eyes at her obvious flirting.

Steve took his seat at the table and ordered a beer for himself and a glass of wine for Kayla. Checking his watch, he saw that it was only a little after six, so he knew he might have a while to wait. He busied himself looking over the menu and did not even look up as his beer was set down in front him.

"Thanks," he said absently, still decided between the lobster and a nice filet.

"You're welcome," a sultry voice replied.

Steve looked up to see Rachel standing there, holding her drink. "May I join you?" She sat down in the chair on the other side of the table without waiting for his answer.

"Actually, I'm waiting for someone," Steve said, taking a sip from his beer.

"Well then . . . I'll keep you company until your dinner companion arrives." Rachel flashed another big smile.

"I'm really not in the mood for a chat with a reporter right now." Steve did not want to be rude, but the woman did not seem to get the message.

"Then I won't be a reporter right now." Rachel leaned over the table, clearly making sure that Steve got a close-up view of the contents of her low-cut blouse.

Steve leaned away from the table and took another sip of his beer. He studied Rachel for a moment, trying to figure out what game she was trying to play. She knew he was married and had to expect that his wife was going to be joining him for dinner. So why was she pushing so hard?

Apparently mistaking Steve's confusion for interest, Rachel reached out and ran her hand down Steve's arm. "If you're not in the mood for talking, I'm sure we can find something else that you might be in the mood for."

Steve stared at the hand on his arm. Did she really think this type of approach would work with him? Not that any approach would have, but her blatant propositioning was ridiculous. As much as he might have enjoyed toying with her, he didn't want Kayla to have to deal with Ms. Knight. _Time to shut this down, permanently._

Leaning forward again, Steve smiled and placed his hand on Rachel's as it lay on his arm. Rachel smiled again, batted her eyes, and ran her thumb across his forearm. Steve's smiled faded as he grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled it from his arm. With very deliberate and less than gentle movements, he put her hand back on her side of the table.

"Let me make myself perfectly clear, Ms. Knight." Steve's voice was calm, but cold. "I'm not interested in anything you have to offer tonight - or any other night."

Rachel's face flushed at the rejection and he saw anger flash in her eyes before she caught herself. "I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you," she replied, again using her sultry voice. "You don't know what you're missing."

"Maybe I'll ask Shane, since he seems to know," Steve said in a low voice. "But I guess it couldn't be that good, seeing as he didn't seem interested in coming back for seconds."

Rachel's mouth opened and then closed as she sputtered momentarily.

Steve could help but laugh out loud. His laughter quickly stopped as he saw Kayla standing in the doorway looking at him as Dave pointed to their table. Even from a distance it was easy to see the thunder in Kayla's blue eyes.

Steve stood as Kayla approached the table. "Sweetness-"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kayla's tone was furious and Steve realized she was not looking at him. She was totally focused on Rachel.

"Just enjoying a drink with your husband." Rachel said innocently. She had regained her composure during Kayla's arrival. "I always hate to see such a handsome man sitting alone."

"I just bet you do." Kayla's voice dripped with such sarcasm that Steve could barely stifle a laugh. "But I'm here now, so you're free to leave. In fact, I think you're in my chair."

"No need to be unfriendly," Rachel replied as she stood up. Turning to Steve she said, "Remember what I said. I'd love to . . . discuss things further if you change your mind."

Looking at Kayla, Steve gave her a wink, then turned to Rachel. "Since you didn't appear to understand me the first time, let me be blunt." Placing an arm around Kayla, he said, "There is nothing in this world that you could . . . offer me that is better than what I have right here. Your type is a dime a dozen. My wife is one in a million."

Rachel's eyes flashed again as she looked at Steve and Kayla. Picking up her drink she turned and walked back to the bar without another word. As he held Kayla's chair, Steve watched out the corner of his eye as Rachel slammed back her drink. She was clearly pissed. _Good._

Returning to his chair, Steve smiled broadly at his wife. He ignored her glare, finished his beerm and set the glass down on the table. Then, he reached for Kayla's hand and asked, "So, Sweetness, how was the rest of your day?"


	243. Chapter 243

Kayla stared at Steve, her anger rendering her speechless. As she struggled for words, Dave arrived with their menus and began telling them about the specials that evening.

"That's not necessary," Kayla said through clenched teeth. She handed her menu back to Dave and stood up. "I'm really not that hungry." She glared at Steve. "I'm going to get some air. I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding another dinner companion."

Without another word, she grabbed her purse and headed for the exit, ignoring Steve's voice as he called to her. Reaching the parking lot, she walked past her car and down the street to the pier.

"Kayla! Wait!" She heard Steve's voice behind her. Slowing as she reached the water, she could hear the sounds of Steve's boots as he pounded down the stairs.

Steve came to sudden halt as he reached Kayla. Refusing to look at him, Kayla kept her attention focused on the water and the lights of the boats anchored there.

"Baby, what's going on?" Steve slowly approached as if he was afraid of spooking her. "Why did you run off like that?"

Kayla flashed Steve an angry look but did not respond to his questions. She knew if she started talking she would not be able to hold back her anger.

"Kayla?" Steve's voice grew sharper. "Answer me, baby." He paused and, out of the corner of her eye, she could see him nervously adjusting his patch. "Okay, I get it. You're mad because I was talking to that Rachel Knight woman. But . . . I was just talking to her, baby. You know there's nothing more to it. You can't really be that upset about her."

Kayla finally turned and faced her husband. "You wanted to know how my day was, so let me tell you." She glared at him as her voice picked up a sarcastic tone. "That . . . woman you were so entranced with back there showed up at my office this afternoon. Apparently, she's decided to do some hatchet job on Kim and thought that, given our . . . recent history, I'd be more than happy to provide her with some juicy details about my sister."

"Baby-"

"Oh, no, we're just getting started," Kayla interrupted. "After that fun encounter, I decided to do the sisterly thing and stop by Shane's house to warn Kim. Instead of getting even a little credit for trying to warn her, I get accused of cooperating with that witch."

"Kayla-"

"Nope, I'm not finished yet." Kayla was on a roll now and nothing was going to stop her from finally venting her frustrations. "It gets even better. It turns out that, according to Kim, it's all my fault that her life is not what she wants it to be."

Kayla turned away and walked a few steps down the pier, feeling her anger being replaced by the hurt she felt from Kim's accusations. "You see, my sister believes that if it weren't for me, then she and Shane would be together and Shane wouldn't be going to jail."

Kayla turned back to Steve who was still watching her, a guilty and concerned look on his face. The anger returned to her voice. "And to top it all off, I walk into Wings and find you sitting there with that witch of a reporter, looking perfectly happy with her hands all over you." She took a deep breath. "So that's how my day was. Happy now?"

Steve hesitated as if he were not sure he should speak, but then said, "I'm sorry, baby." He opened his arms and gestured for her to come to him. "Come here, Sweetness."

"No," Kayla said sharply, turning away from him. "You're not just going to put your arms around me and make it all better. It doesn't always work like that."

Steve's eye widened in surprise. "Okay, baby," he said calmly. "You tell me what you need me to do to make things better."

Kayla gave a harsh chuckle. "Not flirting with that reporter would have been a good start."

"I wasn't flirting with her, Kayla." Steve pleaded. "She came over to the table and invited herself to sit down. I told her I wasn't interested, but she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Maybe you shouldn't have been so subtle." Kayla's voice dripped with sarcasm. "I guess letting her run her hand down your arm must not have been quite the clear 'no' you thought it was."

"I didn't let her do anything," Steve replied, sounding defensive. "Besides you heard what I told her. She has absolutely nothing that I want. Do you really think I want to be with her?"

"Don't turn this around on me," Kayla said stubbornly. "You're not going to change the subject by making light of my feelings again."

"What does that mean?" Steve sounded exasperated. "I'm not making light of your feelings. I'm just trying to understand why you're so upset about that stupid reporter."

"I'm talking about the other night at our apartment when that . . . woman stopped by. You thought it was just so 'cute' that I was jealous." Kayla's tone was still sharp.

"Well, it kind of was," Steve replied, clearly confused.

"Really?" Kayla's anger flared again. "How would you feel if I just grinned and told you how cute it was whenever you get upset any time anybody mentions Shane?"

Kayla saw Steve's eye widen in surprise at her remark and then she saw the hurt flash as well. She felt a momentary twinge of guilt, but her anger pushed it away quickly.

"That's different." Steve's voice was low and any hint of humor had disappeared.

"Why?" Kayla asked. "Because they're your feelings and not mine?"

"No!" Steve's tone took on a sharp edge. "It's different because you were in love with him. Remember that? You were wearing his mother's ring, a ring that was . . . what was it that you told Shane . . . oh yeah, it was a symbol of a future together." Steve stared at Kayla. "You were practically engaged to him and he was helping you raise Stephanie. Do you really think that's the same as some reporter flirting with me to get a story?"

Kayla ran her hand across her face, trying to control the swirl of emotions running through her. She knew Steve had a point, but she was not ready to let this go just yet.

"No, it's not the same," she admitted. "But I've spent weeks trying to be considerate of your feelings about Shane, trying to make up for the hurt you feel about that. I've been walking on eggshells and feeling guilty if I so much as mentioned Shane. And instead of thinking for a minute about how I might feel about your little flirtation with that reporter, you just think it's cute."

Steve was silent, as if he were unsure of what to say. Finally, he raised his hands and stepped towards her. "You're right. I should have been more considerate of your feelings."

Steve apparent agreement just angered Kayla more. "Don't patronize me, Steve," she snapped as she stepped away from him again. "You don't really think I'm right. You're just trying to figure out what to say to placate me."

"That's not fair, Kayla." Steve sounded frustrated.

"Fair?" Kayla looked at him incredulously. "What about this entire situation has ever been fair? Was it fair that you were taken away? Was it fair that instead of being home with me and Stephanie you were being tortured? Was it fair that the man who helped me figure out how to live again was my sister's ex-husband and the love of her life? Was it fair that the ISA made Shane choose between placing his life and freedom at risk and rescuing you? Nothing that has gone on in the last year has been fair."

Again Steve was silent for a moment. Kayla had seen him flinch when she referenced her relationship with Shane, but she was in no mood to cater to his feelings. She watched as he paced for a moment, then turned to face her. "Okay," he said, his voice surprisingly calm. "You're right. None of this is fair." He took a deep breath. "But that doesn't make any of this your fault. I'm sorry you and Kim had a fight, but she's wrong, baby. What happened with her and Shane and the trouble Shane's facing is not your fault."

"Really?" Kayla stared at Steve. "If I hadn't gotten involved with Shane, they might have reconciled. And you certainly wouldn't have been so upset with Shane after you got back. You and Shane wouldn't have had all of that conflict and you would have never told Jack about the rescue." Kayla shrugged her shoulders. "So, like Kim said, this is all my fault."

"Stop it, Kayla!" The edge returned to Steve's voice. "The trouble Shane is in right now is nobody's fault but mine and Jack's. I'm not going to let you stand there and start blaming yourself."

"I'm not blaming myself," Kayla said. The anger had finally left and had been replaced by exhaustion. "I'm just recognizing the truth - my sister is barely speaking to me, Shane's facing years in prison, and I'm . . ." Her voice trailed off without finishing.

"You're what, baby?" Steve stepped towards Kayla and put his hand on her shoulder. Kayla did not move away this time. "Just tell me," he finished.

"I'm tired, Steve," she said honestly. "I'm tired of feeling guilty for what happened with Shane - for what it did to Kim and to you. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I tell myself I shouldn't feel guilty. I'm tired of always being expected to understand everybody else's feelings, no matter what. I'm tired of being at odds with my family and always wondering when the next crisis will hit." She sighed and ran her hand across her face. "I just want some peace and quiet and to live our life. Is that such a huge thing to ask?"

"No, baby," Steve replied quietly. "It's not too much to ask at all." He looked her deeply in the eyes. "And I really am sorry."

"Thank you." Kayla knew his apology was sincere, but she also knew that a simple apology would not fix everything. They needed time and some peace and, with all the conflict and chaos swirling around, she was not sure they would ever get it.

As they stood together in silence, Kayla noticed the cut on Steve's cheek. Her eyes widened as she realized she had been so angry before she had not even realized Steve had been injured. Reaching up, she brushed her fingers along the wound, feeling Steve flinch.

"What happened?" she asked, trying to keep calm.

"It's just a little cut, Sweetness. It's nothing to worry about."

"I can see that much, Steve." Kayla's anger began to resurface. "I want to do know how it happened."

"Okay, baby." Steve stepped away and looked down at the water. "Shane and I were talking-"

"Shane?" Kayla's voice rose. "You were fighting with Shane again?" Kayla's eyes blazed as she felt herself lose grip on her temper yet again. "This is ridiculous, Steve. I know you're angry with Shane - because of me; because of the ISA; because of ... everything, I guess. But you can't keep getting into fights with him. It has to stop."

Steve stood there silently, a solemn look on his face. When Kayla fell silent again, he asked softly, "Are you done? Can I explain what happened now?"

Kayla nodded stiffly, wondering what had caused this latest round of blows between her husband and Shane.

"I wasn't fighting Shane," Steve said, giving Kayla a small smile. "I ran into him on the pier and as we were leaving some idiots decided they wanted to teach him a lesson." He shrugged. "Shane and I taught them one instead. One of the guys had a ring and it cut my cheek. End of story."

Kayla felt her fury release like air from a balloon. Her body slumped slightly as she realized she had jumped to conclusions regarding Steve's actions. The familiar guilt washed over her yet again.

"I'm sorry-" she started to say.

"Don't apologize, baby," Steve interrupted. "I know why you thought what you did and I don't blame you. I haven't given you much reason to think otherwise lately." He smiled slightly. "But this time Shane and I really were on the same side."

Kayla returned Steve's small smile with one of her own. As the guilt faded, she felt the exhaustion take over once again. Stepping closer, she said, "I know you made these wonderful dinner plans, but I really am tired and I think I just need to go home."

"Alright, baby," Steve agreed. "If that's what you want, that's what we'll do."

Kayla nodded and, together, they silently walked back down the pier towards the parking lot.


	244. Chapter 244

For the entire drive back to the house, Shane kept hearing Steve's voice in his head. ". . . _maybe there are some benefits to fighting back._"

_If only it were so easy._

The last thing Shane needed were lectures from people about what he should be doing. The entire situation was hard enough for him to take without constantly being told that all he needed to do was "fight." Between those lectures and Kim constantly pushing him - constantly reminding him about their love - he was nearly at wit's end.

Then there was Jeannie. In the melee and his anger at Steve, Shane had nearly forgotten Rachel's latest threat. Now he would have to tell Kim that Jeannie's paternity would soon be front-page news. That was going to hurt Kim so deeply.

And Shane was helpless to stop it. Hell, he was bloody-well helpless to do anything right now.

Frustrated and angry, he pulled the car into the driveway of the mansion and came to a stop in front of the house. Mike opened the door before Shane even reached it.

"Mrs. Brady received another delivery," Mike said. "Photos . . . I've already called Commander Brady to come over."

It took a moment for that to register. _Photos. Photos of what_? _How did Kim react_? Shane looked at Mike. "Where's Kim?"

"In the library. I moved the photos to your desk," Mike said. Before Shane could ask, he added, "Except for the corners of the envelope, I made sure not to touch anything with my bare hands. If there are prints, they'll still be there."

Shane made a beeline for the library. As he burst through the door, he spotted Kim standing next to the desk and staring down at the pile of photographs. She was shaking.

"Kim?"

She spun around as he approached her. He glimpsed the fear in her eyes before she threw herself toward him. Without even thinking, he pulled her into his arms.

"It's okay," Shane whispered. "It's all right."

Kim did not pull away, but pressed against him even tighter. "I'm so scared," she said. "He's here."

_Here_? Shane did not want to let Kim go, but he held her for just a little longer before he pulled away and walked over to the desk. He quickly scanned the pictures; his stomach lurched as he realized the message being sent.

Jericho or whoever was behind this was telling them he could get to any of them. Each of the photos was taken from a clear vantage point to its target. Shane had enough experience with ISA snipers to tell that the photos were taken as tests. Figure out the placement, make sure the line of fire is clear, and calculate distance to target.

And the red "Xs" identified the targets.

"Why?" Shane asked himself. He could feel his anger building. It threatened the calm veneer he was trying to maintain in front of Kim. _Why would someone do this_? If it was Jericho or Lawrence, his quarrel was with Shane.

_But I'm the only one without an "X."_

He realized that Kim had followed him to the desk and was leaning close to him. "Do you see anything?" she asked. "Any clues?"

_Only that he could have shot any one of us in the past few days._

There was no point to scaring her any further. "No," he lied. "Not really. Maybe Roman will see something."

Kim gave him a searching look. She could tell he was holding something back, but she did not ask. Instead, she walked away from the desk. She stepped over to the couch and turned without sitting. "Did you find Rachel Knight?"

For a moment, Shane had to think about the question. He had been so preoccupied with worry about Kim and with the photos that he almost forgot why he had left the house earlier.

"I did, but . . . let's just say, I didn't accomplish much." Shane looked at Kim and broke the rest of the bad news. "Someone told her about Jeannie, I mean, about how she's Cal's."

"She's not going to publish that?" Kim asked, but, when he did not respond, she got her answer. Her face fell. "Jeannie's just a baby. How could that woman. . . ."

"I'm sorry. I begged her not to print anything, but she refused." Shane looked down at the desk again. Between Rachel Knight and the photographs, he was doing a pretty lousy job of protecting his family. "I wish I could have spared you this."

Kim was about to say something when Roman came rushing into the room. He went directly to Kim and gave her a hug. "Mike said you got another threat?"

She nodded and motioned over to the desk. Then she gave Shane a quick glance, before looking back at Roman. "Why don't you talk? I'll go see about getting Andrew and Jeannie some dinner."

Roman watched Kim leave, then turned to Shane. "That looked suspiciously like an 'I know when I'm not wanted' exit by my sis. You want to explain?"

"Over here," Shane said, motioning to the desk and the pictures. He waited as Roman looked them over.

"Whoa." Roman looked up, having obviously realized what the photos represented.

Shane focused on a picture of Andrew just inside the garden gate. "They're not even safe on the grounds," he said angrily. "You've had cops out there this entire time, but how far away is that? Maybe 100 yards. What kind of protection is that?"

"Calm down, partner."

"No, Roman, I won't calm down," Shane snapped. He ran his hands through his hair. "Someone's out there and could have easily killed them." He pointed at the picture of Andrew. "How can I protect then if he can get so close? One shot from not that far away. That's all it would have taken."

Roman grabbed both of Shane's arms. "But it didn't," Roman said. "I know you're under a lot of pressure, Shane, but think about it. If Jericho really wanted to kill Kimmie and the kids, they'd be dead already. He doesn't want them dead. At least, not yet."

Shane stopped and let that sink in. He looked at the pictures again. Roman was right; a shooter could have killed all of them several times over. "I . . . I guess I didn't think about that."

"It's okay," Roman said, letting go of Shane's arms. "You've been going through hell the past few weeks. It makes sense that you're not thinking straight." Shane felt uncomfortable under Roman's scrutiny. "When's the last time you actually slept?"

Shane had to think about that. It was Monday. Maybe Friday he had slept a little. The other nights he had sort of dozed in between pacing around his bedroom trying to figure things out. "I'm okay," he insisted. "There will be time enough to sleep-"

"When you're in jail?" Roman quirked an eyebrow as he asked the question. "Come on, Shane. You can't think like that."

"Maybe not. . . ." Shane shook his head. "I just feel bloody helpless, Roman. I've got these charges hanging over my head and-" He motioned to the desk. "And look at those. I don't even have a clue what he's after any more. It's like . . . first, he was going after Andrew. I'm sure I was right about that, Roman, but now he's threatening Kim and Jeannie too. I don't understand."

Roman looked at Shane. "You need to calm down, Shane. Getting yourself even more worked up isn't going to help."

"Then what is?" Shane said, his voice rising sharply. "What's going to help? He could be right outside the gate as we speak. He could come back any time. You asked me about sleep? How the bloody hell can I sleep when my son and the woman I . . . I mean, Kim, are in danger?"

Roman gave Shane a knowing look. "You mean 'the woman you love'? That's what you were going to say."

Shane knew he was flushing red, but he downplayed his slip. "I meant Kim," he insisted. He was still worked up. "And my point stands. I can't rest while she and the kids are in danger."

"Stop it," Roman barked, grabbing Shane again. "I know what you're going through. I've been there. When Marlena was kidnapped. When Carrie was taken by Stefano. I've been there, and I'm trying to tell you . . . Now calm down. You're not doing anyone any good if you kill yourself worrying about Kim and Andrew."

That seemed to get through to him. "_If you kill yourself._"Shane fell silent and stood still for a few minutes, waiting for Roman to let go of his coat. Then, Shane stepped back and walked over to the couch. He sat down and thought about Roman's choice of words. The entire time, he felt Roman's eyes on him.

Finally, Shane spoke. "You know . . . I never really told you about the raid." He paused, trying to figure out how to start. "That place was ridiculously hot. The ISA analyst said maybe there were a dozen security guards, but it had to be three or four times that number - and well-armed, too."

Roman's eyes narrowed. "Why are you telling me this?"

Shane ignored the question. "When we reached the building Steve was in, there were some men barricaded on one side. One of them tossed a grenade." Shane stopped, remembering the sound of the explosion and how he had been thrown through the door. Then he remembered the debriefing when he had seen the shrapnel in his armor vest. "If not for my body armor . . . I would have never walked out of there." He looked up at Roman. "Have you ever thought of how many times we should have died? With some of the crazy stunts we pulled?"

Roman cut to the chase. "So you're saying that it would have been better if you had just died rescuing Steve?"

"I didn't say that-" Shane started to say.

"No, but that's what you're thinking. You're thinking Kim and the kids would be safe if you weren't around, that this whole sorry mess with the ISA wouldn't be happening, and you wouldn't have to deal with it all." Roman stared at Shane. "Look, partner, you're exhausted and a lot of guys would've cracked by now. But you've got to push through this." He looked toward the door. "Kim can help you if you'd just let her."

"So I can lead her on?" Shane asked. "Give her some hope that we have a future? Look at what's going on now. Someone may be trying to kill her and her daughter because of her involvement with me. For all we can have, it would almost be better if I'd died."

Roman shook his head. "For a smart guy, you know, you can be one of the stupidest men I know. You're also one the most stubborn son-of-a-guns I know - and, as a Brady, I know stubborn. You and Kimmie could help each other through this. It's a really tough time for you both, but you don't have to do this alone. If you'd just open your eyes, you could see that."

When Shane said nothing, Roman rolled his eyes. "Fine. I've had my say." He turned back to the desk and began sliding the photos into the envelope, doing his best not to do anything to disrupt any fingerprints. "I'm going to take these to the police lab. I'll let you know if I find anything."

As he walked out of the room, Shane rested his head in his hands. He was exhausted and maybe he was not thinking straight, but a sudden sound interrupted his thoughts and made him look toward the door.

Kim was standing there silently.

_How long has she been there_? he wondered.

The dark look in her eyes told him that it had been long enough. He could see her silent accusation, but she did not voice her anger. She looked at him for a long, silent moment, shook her head sadly, then turned and walked away.


	245. Chapter 245

Just another response re: Kim/Kayla and the Charlie story.

The mention of Charlie came during a conversation between Bo and Kayla in the fall of 2006. Bo was teasing Kayla about the high school track star that she was so in love with. Apparently, Kayla had quite the crush on the guy and talked about how when he finally asked her to the school dance, he then spent the whole night with Kim. Bo says he remembers that night because of the fight between Kim and Kayla and how Kayla locked herself in the bathroom and Kayla says something about Bo taking the hinges off the door to get in. The conversation is, overall, pretty light and teasing but that is where this bit about Charlie in this fic comes from. In the interest of full disclosure, the scene never mentions any sexual activity between Kim and Charlie. So that particular aspect may not be canon depending on how one interprets the Bo/Kayla scene.

As for it feeling like a retcon because it does not match up with the Kim that appeared in 1984-85, I guess that depends on perspective. I think a dominant theme in both the teen Kim described in the scene and the Kim who returns to Salem in 1984 is that she is a young woman struggling with the difference between what she feels about herself because of the abuse and what her parents (primarily her father) feel about her (i.e. the "best and brightest" tag). I see this episode with Charlie as a symptom of Kim's unaddressed abuse. On that night, suffering from low self-esteem and jealous of her sister, Kim acted out in a way she was taught by Uncle Eric, by using sex to please a man. It is that same Kim who ran away from her family and became a prostitute in Europe, which, though she later regretted, appears to be something she did voluntarily (unlike when she is blackmailed by Linda Anderson back in Salem). Obviously, perspectives on Kim will vary, but I think it is possible to see that this younger Kim looked to sex as a way to validate herself, while also convincing herself that she's not the good girl deserving of the pedestal on which has been placed by her father. Some of that conflict is still there when she returns in 1984, particularly in how she avoids dealing with her parents when she first arrives home, though by that time, Kim regrets her choice to become a prostitute. Nonetheless, she still feels ashamed about it and struggles with Shawn's continued insistence that she is his "best and brightest."

With respect to Kim shying away from physical contact with Shane, I guess I see that very differently as well. I always thought her hesitance with Shane was due to her realizing that their relationship was much deeper than just physical and her feeling unworthy of that love because of her past. I never thought Kim feared physical contact before she slept with Shane. (It would be hard to reconcile that with her history of prostitution.) What I think caused Kim to hesitate with Shane was entirely emotional fear, because making love to Shane was something so different than her past, purely physical experiences. Even before she decided to go to London, she indicated that it would be a huge step for her in terms of committing to Shane and having to face some of her past, and she needed to know if Shane could handle that. That emotional fear also explains why she only made love to Shane at Donovan Manor after he told her that he loved her and assured her that her past did not matter to him.

With Victor, I see her issues after having sex with him as being about guilt and self-loathing. Sleeping with Victor created the very real feeling that Kim could never escape the past she had fought to put behind her. And that was why she felt she could not tell Shane, since she feared how he would react to her using her body. But, again, perspectives vary.

Also, I think Kim did feel family loyalty was important. But she is no more perfect than any of the rest of the Bradys in that regard. They love each other fiercely, but they are also capable of having selfish moments and of hurting each other. And, again, we are talking about high school kids here, not mature adults. Even looking back, Kim cannot fully explain in her mind why she did what she did to Kayla. In any event, I hope readers understand that the Charlie thing did not come out of nowhere and it was not intended to bash Kim or anything of the sort. It was intended only to flesh out some of the long-buried resentments that Kim and Kayla both have about their relationship in the hopes of finally resolving them.

One last point in response to the comment about the timing of the story. Figuring out when the story should begin was a challenge. Waiting until after Kayla and Shane slept together was not an option, because that happened simultaneous with the reveal about Jeannie's paternity (after Cal returns and kidnaps Kim and Kayla), which I think would have dramatically changed the Shane/Kim issues. Also, Shane leaves Salem almost immediately after he and Kayla reconcile and he does not return until Kim has left Salem for Los Angeles. That just didn't jibe with the plot. As for having the story begin before Kim slept with Lawrence, that did not really work because Kim's relationship with Lawrence was critical to Kayla committing to a relationship with Shane. Also, timing-wise, having the story begin earlier would have put the story in the middle of Lawrence's rape trial.

Frankly, I never thought the fact that Kayla had not yet slept with Shane made much of a difference in terms of the validity of Kim's feeling betrayed. Kayla had fallen in love with Shane and had accepted his mother's ring, which Steve rightly pointed out made her practically engaged. Moreover, would it really have changed things if the story began in December after Shane and Kayla slept together? It still would have occurred more than a year after Steve died, which would have still been a stark contrast to how Kim approached Cal (and Lawrence). And that contrast seems to me to be the most important issue.

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Steve sat at the kitchen table feeding Stephanie her breakfast. He could not help but smile as his rambunctious daughter all but bounced in her high chair, eager to be done and set free again.

"One more bite, Little Sweetness," he said, holding the spoon in front of her. Stephanie turned her head away, but with a bit more coaxing, Steve got the bite down.

"You're getting good at this." Kayla walked into the kitchen, her hair still wet from her shower.

Steve smiled. "Practice makes perfect, I guess." He pointed to the counter. "There's a fresh pot of coffee-" He stopped as the doorbell rang.

"Who would be ringing our doorbell at 7:30 in the morning?" Kayla's voice was a mix of irritation and concern.

"I don't know, baby," Steve replied as he stood up. "I guess I'll go find out."

Steve walked from the kitchen to the living room and looked through the peephole. On the other side, he could see the distorted image of his little brother standing nervously at the door. Sighing, Steve opened the door.

"Morning, Jack. What brings you by so early?"

Jack looked down at the newspaper he held in his hands. "There's something I think you need to know about. Do you . . . uh . . . do you mind if I come in?"

"Sure," Steve said without enthusiasm. He stepped out of the doorway and let Jack in.

"Who's at the-" Kayla's voice caused Steve to turn. She stood at the kitchen entryway, holding Stephanie. Steve watched as her eyes immediately narrowed and her expression darkened.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" she asked, her tone matching her look.

"I . . . uh . . . I needed to talk to Steve." Jack shifted uncomfortably back and forth. "There's something he . . . that is the two of you, should know about."

"What? Another article you wrote?" Kayla asked sharply. "I think the first one was more than enough, don't you?"

Watching Jack flinch at Kayla's pointed remark, Steve remained silent. He knew this was not the time to step in on Jack's behalf.

Jack glanced at Steve, clearly hoping for some help, but quickly realized none was coming. Turning back to Kayla, Jack said, "I know I deserve that but I didn't come here to cause any more trouble. I just figured you deserved to get this from me." He handed the newspaper in his hand to Steve.

Steve gave Jack a curious look, then opened the paper. He was surprised to see that it was a copy of the Salem Chronicle. "You delivering for the competition now, Jack?"

"Not by choice." Jack replied. "Take a look at the bottom of the front page."

Steve felt a sense of dread come over him as he turned the paper over. Just below the fold was a large headline, "_True Story of the People Behind Salem's Biggest Traitor_." Just below and to the right of the headline was a picture of him. No, not a picture - a mugshot. Judging by the clothes and the hair, Steve guessed it had been taken when he had been booked for the attempted murder of Harper Deveraux.

Next to his picture was a picture of Kim. It was another mugshot, obviously taken when Kim had been arrested for Emma Marshall's murder. Last was a mugshot of Kayla, taken after her arrest for Marina's murder.

Steve glanced at Jack who just stood silently with a look of regret. Steve looked at Kayla who was eyeing him with concern. He shook his head slightly and turned back to the paper, as he felt Kayla walk over beside him.

Within the first few sentences, Steve could tell that Rachel Knight had put all she had into this hatchet job. The introduction highlighted Steve's criminal past, Kim's past as a prostitute, and Kayla's relationship to Shane, Kim, and Steve - including her marriage to Jack. Knight had made everyone sound as sordid as possible.

"That witch," he heard Kayla mutter under her breath. She turned to Jack. "Tell me you didn't have anything to do with this?"

"I swear, I didn't." Jack said, holding up his hands. He sounded sincere. "Vern called me first thing this morning to tell me the article was in the Chronicle. I wanted you two to hear about it from me, not . . . somebody else."

Steve continued reading while trying to contain his temper. The article was more or less factually correct, but the facts were presented without context, and in a manner intended to make them all look as bad as possible.

When he finished reading, Steve looked at Jack. "I guess all that positive publicity you've been giving Shane just went out the window."

Jack shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm not going to stop now. I'm headed to the office to work on a rebuttal to this article."

"How are you going to rebut the truth?" Steve asked, his anger and frustration coming out. "Everything she says in there is true. Twisted, but true."

"Well I plan on untwisting it," Jack said. "She's not going to get away with this."

Steve whirled around and threw the paper against the wall. "Damn her!" he exclaimed. The noise startled Stephanie, who began to cry.

"I'm sorry, baby," Steve said, immediately hating himself for scaring his daughter. He softly stroked Stephanie's hair and kissed her head. "It's okay, baby girl. Papa didn't mean to scare you."

Kayla helped soothe Stephanie and she soon quieted. Jack cleared his throat and said, "I better get going." He looked at Steve and Kayla. "I really am sorry about all of this."

Steve nodded and walked Jack to the door. As Jack left, Kayla walked over and put Stephanie in her playpen. Then she walked to the phone and Steve listened as she informed the lab administrative assistance that she would be a little late getting in that morning. After she hung up the phone, she quietly walked over and picked up the newspaper from the floor.

"Just leave it there, Kayla." Steve's voice was harsh. "Better yet, just throw it away like the garbage it is."

Kayla walked back towards Steve. The more he thought about the article, the angrier he got. That woman had no right to drag his family through the mud like that. He didn't care about himself. He knew his past and knew who he was now. If he was the only one involved, he probably could have just shrugged it off. But it was not just about him. The woman had highlighted Kayla's marriage to Jack and her relationship with Shane, including a biting remark about how Kayla seemed to like to "keep things in the family."

He looked at Kayla who was still holding the paper while sitting on the couch. She was the best person he had ever known. She was the last person who deserved to be treated with anything but respect. Yet, once again, his past and his mistakes were coming back to hurt Kayla. The last time it had happened, it had almost destroyed them. He would be damned if he would let that happen again. Without a word, Steve turned on his heels and headed for the door. He was going to find Rachel Knight and let her know exactly what he thought of her article. As he strode towards the door, he heard Kayla call out.

"Steve! Stop! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to give that reporter a little critique of her article," Steve replied through clenched teeth.

"Don't," Kayla said sharply. "It's just going to make things worse."

"Worse?" Steve sounded incredulous. "How could it get much worse than what she already wrote?"

"If you go after her, it's just going to give her motivation to write more articles," Kayla explained. "I know you're upset - so am I - but this will blow over." She sighed. "You need to just let it go."

"I'm not sure I can do that," Steve said, still angry. He turned towards the door, "I-" He stopped as he felt Kayla grab his wrist. As he instinctively pulled his hand away, he saw a series of pictures flash through his mind. A wrist wrapped in wire. A chain hung from the ceiling. A sneering guard holding a metal club. He froze as the pictures played over and over again. He could smell the guard's breath as he stood next to Steve. He could feel the blows from the club rain down on his body. And he could hear his own screams of pain.

Then a noise broke through the pictures. He strained to hear it. It was his name. Someone was calling his name.

"Steve!" It was Kayla's voice. "Listen to me, Steve. Come on, baby. Come back to me."

Slowly the pictures faded and the pain stopped. He blinked his eye and focused on Kayla standing a few feet away. He ran his hand down his face, wiping away the sweat on his brow.

"Are you okay?" Kayla asked, softly.

Steve nodded, then looked closely at her. "Are you okay? Did I-"

"You didn't do anything," Kayla reassured him. "You just pulled your hand away when I grabbed it. That's all."

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. He looked down at one wrist and the scars that lingered there. As he stared at the scars, he could finally see the wire that had caused them. Steve shook his head, again trying to clear the memories.

"Steve?" Kayla called to him again. "What happened? What did you remember?"

Remaining silent, Steve continued to stare at his wrists. Forcing himself to look at Kayla, he shook his head. "I . . . I . . . I don't want to talk about it." He turned away and walked back towards the couch.

"Don't turn away from me, please." Kayla said forcefully. "You can tell me anything. You know that." She stepped over to him. "Tell me what you remembered."

Steve sat down wearily on the couch and put his face in his hands. He felt Kayla sit down beside him. He did not want to tell her what he remembered, yet he also knew he had to. For her - and for him.

"I remembered how I got these scars on my wrists." His voice was emotionless.

"How?"

"After I was taken away, I kept trying to escape." He took deep, steady breaths trying to keep control of his swirling emotions and memories. "I was always caught and then the guards would beat me. I'd be sore for awhile, but it was never enough to make me stop trying to run." He took another deep breath. "Then a new guard arrived."

"What happened?" Kayla asked softly.

Steve stared silently at his wrists for a few moments and then haltingly told Kayla what he now remembered. When he finished he turned and looked at Kayla. Tears were streaming down her face and she reached for his hand. Without a word she brought his wrist to her mouth and kissed it. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that."

Steve nodded and reached over and wiped the tears from Kayla's cheek. "I'm sorry, too." He took a deep breath, then stood up. "You better get moving, baby. You need to get to work."

"Don't worry about that," Kayla insisted. "This is more important."

"I'm okay, Sweetness. Really." He gave a small smile. "In fact, I guess I have something new to talk to Dr. Friedman about today."

Kayla looked closely at Steve, then ran her hand down his face, stopping to caress his cheek. "Thank you for trusting me and telling me what you remembered."

"Baby, I've always trusted you. It was me I didn't trust." Steve leaned down and gave Kayla a soft kiss. "Go on, go get ready for work. It'll be okay."

Kayla nodded and headed for the bedroom. As she left, Steve picked up the forgotten newspaper again. He knew Kayla was right. Going after Rachel Knight was not going to do any good right now. As angry as he was, there were more important issues to deal with. But Steve was not about to just let things go either. He would just have to hope that the time would come when Rachel Knight would get exactly what she deserved.


	246. Chapter 246

"Kim," Marlena said. Kim looked up from her paperwork to see her friend in the doorway of the Abuse Clinic.

"Hi, Marlena. What brings you by so early?" It was before 9 a.m. Kim had arrived at work only about 20 minutes earlier.

Marlena hesitated. "Are you okay?"

_That's a loaded question, isn't it? _Kim thought. No, she was not okay. She had been awakened in the middle of the night by Andrew's nightmare. When he had struggled to calm down, she had taken him to her room to sleep, but she had spent most of the night watching him toss and turn.

"No worse than any other day the past few weeks." Kim shrugged. "So I guess I'm okay."

"Uh . . . I guess you didn't see the Chronicle," Marlena said. She held a newspaper in her hand.

No, Kim had not see the Chronicle. Shane subscribed to the Spectator. Kim felt a blast of cold rush through her body. Hesitantly, she asked, "What's in the Chronicle?"

Marlena walked forward and handed the paper to Kim. She unfolded it and immediately saw the photos on the bottom of the front page. Kim wanted to toss the paper in the trash, but steeled herself and read the story.

With each paragraph, Kim's fury increased. Everything was distorted. She felt dirty just reading it. It should hardly have surprised her though. She had known what Rachel Knight was up to, and the article came through in spades. It painted Kim as a sleazy hooker who slept around so much, she could not even figure out who the fathers of her children were. It even called into question her working at the hospital, asking how she could be trusted with abused children.

Steve and Kayla hardly made out any better. There were details about Steve's life published there that Kim did not even know. Shane shot Steve in Miami? That was something Shane never told her. There were also details about Steve threatening Hope with acid that Kim had never heard about, as well as information about Steve being questioned about potential involvement with Andrew's kidnapping. Kim remembered all too well when she had been convinced that Steve had been involved.

She gave a sad sigh as the article relived Kayla's past as well. No matter how angry she was at Kayla right now, Kim knew Kayla did not deserve the cheap shot about keeping things "in the family."

After finishing, Kim flung the paper aside. She knew who was behind Rachel's article. It had to be the ISA. Some of the information might have been in the public record or newspaper archives, but there was too much that could only have come from one of her family members or the ISA. She knew her family would not have talked, so it had to be the ISA. Feeding reporters with dirt was more of their "pressure" to force Shane to plead guilty. Kim was so angry she could barely see.

"Kim?" Marlena sounded worried.

"I'm okay," Kim said, her voice a little more than an angry hiss. "How could they do that?" she asked angrily. "After everything this family has given the ISA, how could they do this to us? How much have we lost to them? How much time did we lose with our husbands because of what we've given up for the ISA?"

Kim paused. "Oh no . . . Shane doesn't know about this. We don't get the Chronicle at the house." She grabbed for the phone.

"You don't have to call him," Marlena said. "Roman called him before he called me."

"What did Roman say?" Kim asked anxiously.

"Not much. Just that he told Shane."

Kim looked up at Marlena. "He doesn't need this. God, Marlena. . . ." Kim stood up and began pacing. "Shane's so close to the edge right now. I don't know what this will do to him."

"Come on, Kim. Shane's a strong man."

Kim shook her head vigorously. "You haven't seen him," she explained. "I've barely seen him, but . . . the other night when he was talking to Roman. If you'd heard him-"

"Roman told me what Shane said." Marlena walked over to Kim. "He's scared and he doesn't know how to admit it."

Kim continued to shake her head. "If that's all it was, I wouldn't be so worried. He's going to break and I don't know what he'll do when that happens. The way he was talking to Roman . . . the way he kept saying we would be better if he had died. . . ."

Marlena took Kim's hand. "It was just talk and stress. Shane's not going to do anything."

"I wish you were right." Kim pulled away and walked over to a shelf filled with stuffed animals. "If he would just find some reason to fight. . . . I don't understand it, Marlena. He can tell me a thousand times that he can't fight the charges, but I can't understand how he can just give up on Andrew. Isn't his son worth more than that?"

"You know Shane better than anyone," Marlena said with a sympathetic smile. "You know he would never give up on Andrew if he believed there was any way to fight these charges. So, the question is: why doesn't he believe there's a way out?"

Kim was silent. That was the question that everyone seemed to be asking. And it was the question she knew she had yet to force Shane to answer.

"I don't know," Kim replied slowly. "I just know that if the thought of leaving Andrew isn't enough to make him fight, then nothing is."

"I don't know about that," Marlena said softly, looking at Kim.

Kim chuckled humorlessly. "If you are talking about me, you're wrong." Kim sighed. "I keep thinking if I could just show him how wonderful our love could be again, he'd find the strength to fight." She shrugged. "But he won't let me."

Marlena smiled and leaned against a wall. "I remember when you and Shane first met. How long did you dance around each other? And when you finally decided what you wanted, you had to work hard to break down Shane's walls. That took time."

They actually had done some of that already. Kim thought to their conversation about Cal and Kayla. Maybe Marlena was right and that's what Shane needed. But time was not something they really had, was it? Not the way Shane talked.

"I wish that I felt that was all it would take," Kim said softly.

Marlena gave Kim a sly smile. "Now who needs to find the strength to fight?"

Kim looked down and thought about the past. They had danced around each other for months. Finally, it had been Shane who had pushed Kim to commit to the relationship by going to England. He had pushed her to let down those final walls. Perhaps, now, their roles needed to be reversed.

With a nod, Kim felt a renewed sense of determination. "You're right," she said, looking at Marlena. "It's time I made Shane really see what he has that's worth fighting for."


	247. Chapter 247

Making no progress with her paperwork, Kayla leaned back in her chair and grimaced. She thought the work would take her mind off that horrible article in the Chronicle, but it was not working. She looked again at the stack of materials she needed to read, pushed back her chair, and stood up.

_How could that witch write those things_? Kayla asked herself. The article had made Steve look like a hood, someone not worth saving. Steve had tried to pretend that it had not bothered him, but she knew better. And, despite Kayla's lingering anger at Kim, the Brady protective instincts had kicked in. Kimmie did not deserve to have her past troubles aired for the entire world to see. None of them did. As much as Kayla tried to deny it, the truth was that the shots Rachel Knight had taken at Kayla's own past mistakes had hurt as well. They had all worked so hard to put the past behind them and, in one fell swoop, Rachel Knight had brought it all back.

Kayla was beginning to feel the heat rising in her. More than anything, she wanted to go find Rachel Knight and have a few choice words with her. But, as she had told Steve, that would just make everything worse. That woman was a vindictive witch. The article was clearly payback - for Steve refusing her advances, for Kayla refusing to provide fodder about Kim, and, Kayla was sure, for something Kim had done to made Rachel Knight mad.

"Focus on your work," Kayla said to herself, trying to suppress her fury. She sat back down and picked up the next file folder - the next quarter's grant application. Then she remembered that Neil was supposed to be putting together the staffing details, including the information on the new researcher the hospital was bringing in.

Climbing from her seat again, she told herself that a walk might do some good. She could get out of the lab for a few minutes and talk to Neil. Maybe she could swing by the clinic and talk with Kim, but she hesitated even at the thought. She remembered Kim accusing her of giving information to the reporter and decided that a confrontation with her sister would hardly help her mood.

Kayla left the lab and headed for the elevator. A few minutes later, she reached the door to Neil's office. She raised her hand to knock, but stopped when she hard a familiar voice inside.

". . . on Kimberly. This isn't her fault. That blasted reporter was out for blood because of me."

_I guess Shane saw the Chronicle also_. Kayle knew she should not be eavesdropping, but Shane sounded almost frantic. And why would he be talking about Kim being at fault?

"I understand your concern, Shane," Neil said. He sounded quite calm.

Shane's raised voice came through the door again. He seemed to be ranting. "Really? Do you think this is just going to blow over? This story is on the wires and is probably in just about every newspaper in the country. Did you see what it says? 'University Hospital was asked how it could employ a woman with Kimberly Brady's sordid history to counsel the hospital's most innocent patients - childhood abuse victims'. This hospital is about to get bombarded with calls demanding Kim be fired."

"Not about to," Neil said. "The phones are already ringing off the hook. But you're getting-"

Kayla did not wait to hear another word. She burst through the door. "Don't you dare think about firing Kim!"

Neil was seated at his desk and stared at her. Shane, who had his back to her, turned. Neither said anything.

"Are you going to tell me who wants Kim fired?" she asked.

Neil rolled his eyes. "Nobody at the hospital. Shane's being a little paranoid," he said, ignoring the angry look that flashed across Shane's face. "We were just talking about the article."

"In a private conversation," Shane added tersely.

Kayla flushed. "I'm sorry . . . I just came to get some documents from Neil. I didn't mean to overhear, but you were pretty loud." She looked at Shane. "So people are demanding Kim be fired?"

"Look. . . ." Neil said. "Kim is not going to be fired. Everyone in this hospital understands how incredible Kim is at her job. She's not going anywhere, not while I'm Chief of Staff."

His voice rising again, Shane replied, "Isn't that what you said about Kayla's work? That didn't stop her from being suspended."

"Don't be ridiculous." Neil sounded exasperated. "This isn't the same thing and, I promise you, Shane, I'll fight tooth and nail if anyone tries to do anything to Kim."

Kayla looked at Shane, seeing him closely for the first time. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes stood out against his skin, which looked more pale than normal. She had not seen him since his arraignment but the strain of the past few weeks clearly was wearing on him.

She tried to sound reassuring. "Come on, Shane. You don't need to worry about Kim and the hospital. You heard Neil."

Shane glanced at her and something flashed in his eyes. He stepped back, then looked at Neil. "Very well. . . . I'm going to hold you to that." He turned and left the room before Neil or Kayla could say another word.

After watching the door close behind Shane, Kayla swung back toward Neil. She was about to ask Neil what was going on and if Shane had any legitimate concerns about the article, but she kept seeing that look in Shane's eyes just before he walked out.

"Neil, I'll be back."

Kayla turned quickly and left the room. She spotted Shane standing by the elevator.

"Shane, wait," she called out.

He must have heard her, because she saw him tense, but he did not turn. Kayla rushed to him before the elevator doors could open.

"Kayla," Shane said evenly.

"Are you trying to ignore me?" she asked.

Shane did not look at her. "I'm really not in a mood for an argument."

"Well, you're going to answer me," she said. Just then the elevator doors opened. Shane began to step inside, but Kayla grabbed his arm. "Come on, Shane. I'm your friend and I care about you."

The dark look in Shane's eye seemed to fade a little. She could see the exhaustion and strain once more. "Look," he said. "I just want to go home. I said my piece to Neil-"

"You yelled it would be a better way of putting it," Kayla pointed out. "That's not like you." She looked around and saw several people eyeing them curiously. "Let's go into the lounge and talk."

"I told you, I'm really not interested in an argument right now, Kayla." Shane shrugged her hand off his arm. "Just let me go and you can get back to your work."

"You're not leaving until we talk," Kayla insisted. "So we can either do that out here in front of everybody or we can go in the lounge and talk in private. It's your choice."

Shane sighed and then nodded his head in the direction of the lounge. Kayla walked to the lounge, making sure that Shane followed.

Once they were inside, Kayla turned to Shane. "I know you're upset about the article in the paper. I am too. But don't worry so much about Kim; she'll be fine. Neil will make sure of it. Besides, we both know she's weathered a lot of storms before."

"Is that how you really feel?" Shane asked. "From what I've heard, you haven't been on the best terms."

Kayla looked down at the floor. _That's an understatement_. "No, we haven't, but we've fought before. We get through things. Kim said some pretty awful things to me, and it hasn't been easy to put that aside yet."

"She's going to need you - and Steve. Andrew will too." Shane was staring at her when Kayla looked back up.

"I think the last thing Kim needs right now is me." When Shane began to protest, Kayla held up her hand and stopped him. "What she and Andrew need right now is you," Kayla said, looking Shane in the eyes. "I don't understand why you're just rolling over like this. You don't owe the ISA anything, not after what they've done to you."

Shane ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not going to try to explain this again," he said softly. "I did what I did, and I can't take it back. I won't take it back. Steve's home where he should be. So just accept that this is how things have to be, and be happy."

Those words echoed something Kim had said. Kayla looked at Shane and quietly asked, "Do you blame me for this? For what's happening to you?"

Shane's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"Kim said that everything that has happened is my fault, that I didn't care about anyone else as long as I was happy." Kayla could not keep the hurt out of her voice. "So . . . I'm wondering if you feel the same way. After all, if we hadn't gotten together, you and Steve wouldn't have been fighting all the time and he probably wouldn't have gotten drunk-"

Shane cut her off, though his voice remained soft. "It's not your fault. Bloody hell . . . I don't even blame Steve that much. It is what it is." He seemed to hesitate and almost lose his train of thought, but finally, he said, "I told him - anyone could have revealed the mission. It was stupid of me to ever expect it to stay secret. Maybe what happened between us made that happen a little faster, but I'm not blaming anyone, especially not you. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Kayla could hear the sincerity in Shane's voice. "Thank you." She hesitated a moment, then said, "But even if you don't blame me for what's happened recently, I think I still owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"For not letting you go when Kim came back from L.A. last winter." Kayla turned away from Shane as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "When I look back on that time now, it almost feels like a different person." She shrugged. "Maybe I was a different person then, I don't know. But I knew that Kim still loved you no matter how much she denied it. And I knew that, deep down, you still loved her too. No matter how much I was struggling with moving on without Steve, I shouldn't have leaned on you like I did. I should have let you go, just like you let me go when Steve came back."

Taking a deep breath, Kayla turned back to Shane. "If I had been stronger . . . If I hadn't been so scared of my own life, I wouldn't have needed you to help me move on and I wouldn't have stood in the way of you and Kim working things out."

Shane stood silently for a moment, then gently shook his head. "That's not your fault either, Kay. We both know that the problems that split Kim and me apart had nothing to do with you. Those problems wouldn't have just disappeared if you hadn't been there when Kim came back." He gave her a small smile. "The truth is that I might not have even been in Salem when Kim returned if it hadn't been for you and Stephanie. And even if I was, there was too much hurt there for me to let her in again." He paused. "There still is."

"I don't believe that," Kayla replied, shaking her head. "Maybe it took Steve coming back for me to realize it, but a love like you and Kim shared can survive anything - if you want it to." She looked into Shane's tired eyes. "You just have to want it bad enough."

"Sometimes wanting something isn't enough," Shane said in a voice tinged with regret. Then, seeming to shake himself out of whatever emotion he was feeling, Shane said, "It doesn't really matter now anyway. What's done is done." His tone changed as he said, "You need to know that Kim doesn't mean what she said. You have no idea how hard this has been on her. She's had to deal with a lot since we came back from England. And now, with that article. . . . She doesn't deserve that, I mean, to be dragged through the mud. None of you do."

_At least we can agree on that_, Kayla thought.

"How's Steve handling the whole thing?" Shane asked, clearly trying to change the subject by asking a question Kayla never expected.

Kayla contemplated pushing Shane further, but decided to let it go. Instead she chuckled softly at his question. "Let's say we won't be subscribing to the Chronicle any time soon." Growing more serious, she added, "I had to stop him from tracking down that reporter and giving her another article's worth of news."

"Sounds like Steve - going off half-cocked." There was nothing humorous in the way he said that. He paused again, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you're going through all of this too."

Kayla reached out and grasped Shane's forearm. "Don't you dare apologize to me. I can deal with whatever happens. And don't worry so much about Kim or the kids. They really are going to be all right." From the look on his face, Kayla knew that was a futile request. Shane would worry; they all would if they were in his shoes.

"You know I can't do that," he said. "Worrying is pretty much all I can bloody do right now. I sure as hell don't seem to be able to do anything to help them."

The tone of his voice caused Kayla to grow even more concerned. The closest she had ever seen him like this was that morning at Donovan Manor when she and Stephanie had woken him in the sitting room. But this was worse. Shane sounded so despondent. He was not even trying to keep up his typical, reserved facade.

"You're upset and I can tell you're exhausted," Kayla said. "Why don't we go back my office and I'll write a prescription for something to help you sleep?"

He just shook his head and turned to leave.

"Shane-" She tugged on his arm, but he pulled it away.

He looked at her sadly. "There's nothing you can do for me, Kay. A prescription isn't going to do anything to help me protect Kim and the kids. It's not going to make these charges go away." He sighed and his tone softened. "If you want to help . . . just do what you can for Kim and the kids. They're the ones who need support."

Before she could answer, Shane turned and walked to the door.

"Shane-"

He turned back and cut her off with a curt shake of his head. "If you want to do something for me, then do that. Be there for Kim. She's going to need you."

Kayla said nothing as Shane left the lounge away. Mending fences with Kim would not be an easy task - not after their explosion the other day - but if that was something she could do to help set Shane's mind at ease, she would try.


	248. Chapter 248

Steve clenched his teeth as he another blow from the metal club struck his ribs. He glared at the guard.

_Don't scream_, he urged himself. _Don't give_ _Chief the satisfaction._

"I guess you're not ready to quit yet, are you, Patch?" The voice was harsh and sadistic, matching its owner perfectly.

Steve watched through his swollen eyelid as the guard he knew only as Chief walked a few steps away and took a drink of water. Steve's parched throat and swollen tongue begged for some water too, but he knew not to ask. It would only prompt more abuse.

_You can get through this_, he said silently. _Kayla and Stephanie need you to get through this._

Using the momentary break in the beating to gather his reserves of strength, Steve flexed his wrists. He felt the blood dripping down his arms from the wires wrapped around his wrists, which looped through a chain hanging from the ceiling. He could smell his own blood and sweat. The odor was nearly overwhelming; the air was hot and stagnant in the windowless room.

_When will this end? _he asked himself. Right now, the closet that had become his home seemed inviting. _Please_. _Please let it end soon._

The break was over. Chief picked up the metal club and approached Steve again. Everything within Steve's mind screamed to give in, to give up, to do whatever it took to make it stop. But there was nothing to give in to. Begging would only incur laughter and derision.

As the blows began to rain on his body again, starting with his legs and methodically working upwards, Steve felt himself drifting away. He could see Kayla's brilliant blue eyes and smiling face. She was holding Stephanie and waving her little hand at him.

_My Sweetness and Little Sweetness_. _Give me your strength._

A sharp pain and a cracking sound forced the vision away. Steve could not stop the cry that escaped his lips as the club slammed into his ribs.

Instinctively, Steve tried to twist away, only to be betrayed by another scream of pain as the movement wrenched his shoulder.

"Had enough yet, Patch?" Chief asked with a gleeful chuckle.

Steve could not respond. The club struck his back. Steve screamed again, no longer able to hold back the cries. The blows came rapidly now.

_God, he's not going to stop_. Steve understood now. _I'm going to die._

"Steve!" He heard his name called out in Chief's voice. He was confused. Chief never called him by his name.

"Steve! Watch my finger." Steve snapped his head forward and suddenly saw Dr. Friedman sitting in front of him. Blinking several times, Steve felt the pain fade away and realized his hands were no longer bound.

"That was very good," Dr. Friedman said in his usual calm and quiet voice.

Steve shook his head, trying to regain his bearings. "Maybe for you, Doc. I don't think 'good' is the word I would use."

"You did very well with the new memory," Dr. Friedman insisted. "You know how this works now. The first time through is always the hardest."

"I guess so." Steve sighed. "I just wonder why this was the last thing I remembered. I mean there are some details that are still fuzzy, but I don't feel like there are big holes in my memory anymore."

"The mind is an amazing thing, Steve." Dr. Friedman leaned back in his chair. "It has a way of protecting us from traumatic events. What you went through in that compound . . . well, events like that are the very definition of traumatic. The easiest way to protect you from that trauma was to block it out."

"Okay, I get that. But then why did it come out in my nightmares or when somebody grabbed my wrist?"

Dr. Friedman gave Steve a small smile. "Because your mind also knows deep-down that the only way to move past the trauma is to ultimately face it. Blocking it out is only a short-term solution."

Steve was quiet for a moment. He thought back to his childhood and the night he had tried to kill Duke. When Adrienne had come to town, he experienced something similar to flashbacks to that night. He remembered how, over the years, he had convinced himself it had been an accident. He had told himself he was just a small child playing with matches who had been punished by being given away.

It was only when Jo and Duke had returned that he had remembered what had really happened. The day he had told Kayla the story had been the first time he had told anyone. And, like always, she had been there to help him deal with those memories. Just as she had helped him deal with everything he had been through in the last year.

Looking down at his wrists, Steve said quietly. "I guess it's time to go through it again, huh?"

"If you're ready," Dr. Friedman replied.

Taking a deep breath, Steve nodded. Dr. Friedman held up his finger again. Steve focused on the finger and began talking. "I tried to escape, but the guards grabbed me. I struggled, but I couldn't get away. Chief took the wire and wrapped it around my wrists and then tied them to the chain hanging from the ceiling. . . . "

An hour later, Steve left Dr. Friedman's office feeling as if he had run a marathon. He was exhausted, but also exhilarated. After going through the memory of his beatings several times, Steve had been able to work all the way through without getting lost inside the memory. As skeptical as he had been about the therapy at first, he could not deny it was working. His nightmares had lessened in both frequency and intensity and he had lost the overwhelming fear he had felt for so long.

He stopped by Kayla's office to tell her about the session, but her assistant informed him that she was working in the lab. Not wanting to disturb her there, Steve left a short note and decided to head on home.

As he left the hospital parking lot, Steve kept an eye on the rearview mirror. As expected, the nondescript black sedan pulled out not too far behind him. Steve was actually surprised that it was so close. Until then, his ISA followers had taken care to stay back to avoid detection.

_Maybe they're as bored with this as I am_, Steve thought to himself.

Taking his normal route home, Steve bypassed the major surface streets and took his usual shortcut through the side streets. Still thinking about his session with Dr. Friedman, Steve was startled to see the black sedan quickly closing in behind him.

_What the hell is going on_?

Suddenly, Steve understood. The street he was on came to a dead end up ahead, just after he would normally turn left into a short alley that connected to the street that ran past his apartment building. He had no doubt that, if he made that turn, another car would be waiting, cutting off his path.

The bastards in the ISA had finally decided to make their move.

Steve knew he had only a few seconds to figure a way out. He quickly ran through his options.

_I've got one advantage_, he realized. _This is my home turf._

Steve knew the area intimately - and that the ISA had moved just a little too soon.

Stepping on the gas, Steve took a hard turn to the right at the end of the street. What looked like a solid wall of vegetation was really just a thin line of overgrown brush.

The car crashed through the bushes. It skidded on the loose dirt. Steve fought for control of the car as it broke through and dropped onto an old dirt path. Luckily, it appeared to have been used for some utility access over the years, leaving a path just wide enough for his car.

Glancing in his rearview mirror, he caught sight of two dark-suited men walking through the hole he had made in the brush.

"Should have done your homework, dudes," Steve said. Steve smiled as he reached the end of the dirt path. There was a fence ahead, but the gate that usually closed off the path was open today.

With barely a pause to make sure there was no oncoming traffic, Steve turned onto the main road and sped away. As he continued his journey home, he wondered why the ISA had decided to move against him now. He may have not been a big fan of the ISA, but he knew they would not have gone after him today without a reason.

As Steve pulled up to the apartment building, he looked carefully for anything unusual. He did not see any unfamiliar cars, so he parked in his usual parking place and got out of the car. Instead of going through the front door of the building, Steve walked rapidly around to the back.

Stopping in front of the patio of one of the ground floor apartments, Steve got an idea. He knew this particular apartment was empty, so he took out his all purpose tool and pried open a window. Climbing through, he carefully closed and relocked it and then made his way to the front door. He opened it and headed down the empty hallway to the back stairs.

When he reached his floor, he again carefully checked the hallway before heading for his apartment. Working quickly, he unlocked the door and sighed with relief when he found Jamie and Stephanie playing on the floor inside.

Asking Jamie to stay a little longer, Steve walked to the kitchen and collapsed in a chair. That had been entirely too close. Glancing at the counter, Steve saw a note by the phone. As he read it, he knew why the ISA had made their move today. Jamie had taken a message from his Merchant Marine buddy. Nowicki's and Deakins' unit was back in the States.

Obviously, the ISA didn't want to take the chance that Steve would contact the soldiers, so they had tried to grab him today. To warn him? To take him away? Steve wasn't entirely sure, but he was not going to take any more chances.

Picking up the phone, he dialed the number for the Spectator and then asked for Jack.

"Jack Deveraux," Jack answered.

"Jack, it's Steve. You remember how I told you that I was going to expect your help at some point?"

"Yeah." Jack said slowly.

"Well now is your chance. Listen very carefully and do everything I tell you to do. And, for once, don't screw this up."


	249. Chapter 249

Kayla stood hesitantly outside Kim's office. Ever since her conversation with Shane and his plea for her to make peace with Kim, Kayla had tried to figure out how to start that process. Finally, she had taken a break from the lab and headed to Kim's clinic.

Taking a deep breath, Kayla knocked softly on the door.

"Come in," she heard Kim call out. Bracing herself, Kayla opened the door and walked in.

"Hi, Kim," she said softly as she entered.

"Kayla." Kim was clearly surprised. "What . . . What brings you by?"

"I . . . uh . . . I guess I wanted to see how you were doing?" Kayla stepped towards Kim's desk. "I know that seeing that article couldn't have been easy for you."

Kim did not answer as she seemed to study Kayla for a moment. Then a sad smile crossed her faced and she shrugged. "It's not like I didn't know it was coming," she said, sounding tired. "I guess my past is always going to be there waiting for me."

"I'm sorry, Kimmie." Kayla was not sure what else to say. "I hope you know that at least."

"I do know," Kim said. "And I'm sorry you and Steve got dragged through the mud as well. That reporter is some piece of work."

Kayla nodded in agreement. She could not help but wonder how sincere Kim was, but she decided not to question it. These were the first civil words they had spoken to each other since Jack's article had been published and there was no point in starting things up again.

"How . . . how's everything else?" Kayla asked gingerly. "I . . . I wanted to know how Shane's doing."

Kim stiffened at the mention of Shane. With a pointed look, Kim said, "About as good as any man facing a lifetime in prison."

Kayla bit back her irritation at Kim's response. "I'm not trying to start another argument, Kim. I just happened to run into Shane today and he looked awful. I tried to get him to let me give him something to help him sleep, but he refused."

Kim nodded and her body relaxed slightly. "He's not sleeping and I'm sure the article in the paper today won't help matters." She sighed. "I honestly don't know how much more he can take."

"I know." Kayla did understand. "Look, Kim. . . I know things are pretty tense between all of us right now, but I hope you know that if you or Shane need anything, I'm here for you . . . and so is Steve."

Kim gave a slight smile and nodded. "Thanks, Kay. I don't think there is anything anyone can do right now, but thanks for offering."

"Sure," Kayla replied.

"Um, Kay. . . ." Kim fell silent for a moment as Kayla waited. With a little sigh, Kim said, "I wanted to say that I know you didn't talk to her - to the reporter, I mean. I shouldn't have said that."

Kayla noticed that Kim's apology did not extend to a lot of the other hurtful things she had said the other day, but Kayla decided against pointing that out.Checking her watch, Kayla realized she needed to be getting back to her office. "I better get going. I have some paperwork to finish up before I can go home."

"All right," Kim said. "Thanks for stopping by and . . . uh . . . maybe we could have lunch or something soon."

Kayla gave her sister a smile. "I'd like that." She stepped towards the door and then stopped. "Take care of yourself, Kimmie . . . and take care of Shane. He really needs you right now." Not waiting for Kim's reply, Kayla walked out the door and headed back towards her office.

When she reached her office, she went immediately to her desk. The first thing she noticed was a note from Steve and was disappointed to find that she had missed him when he stopped by after his appointment. However, she was thrilled to read the session had gone well.

Moving the note, she saw a message from her assistant. Steve had called and asked Kayla to call him as soon as she got the message. Worried now, Kayla immediately picked up the phone and dialed home.

"Hello." Hearing his voice, Kayla felt a wash of relief.

"Steve, it's me. I just got your message. Is everything okay?"

"Calm down, Sweetness," Steve replied calmly. "Everything's fine."

"Why did you want me to call then?" Kayla asked confused about Steve's message.

"I wanted to let you know that Marcus will be giving you a ride home tonight."

"Marcus?" Kayla was more confused than ever. "Why? I have my car here. I don't need a ride."

"It's kind of a long story, baby. I promise to tell you everything when you get home. But, for now, can you just play along and let Marcus bring you home?"

"All right," Kayla said, worried again. "I have a couple of things to finish up, but I should be ready to go in about an hour."

"I'll call Marcus and let him know."

"And you'll tell me what's going on when I get home?" Kayla wanted to make sure Steve knew he was not going to get off the hook too easy.

"I promise, Sweetness. Now go get your work done and I'll see you soon."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby."

Kayla hung up the phone and settled into her chair. She was dying to know what was going on, but knew the only way to find out was to finish up her paperwork and get out of there.

A little more than an hour later, Kayla said goodbye to Marcus as he dropped her off at the apartment door. She was surprised that he was not planning on staying, but he said he needed to get back to the hospital.

Unlocking the door, Kayla entered her home to find her daughter using Steve as a pony. Kayla laughed at their antics.

"Hi, baby," Steve said from the floor.

"Mama!" Stephanie smiled broadly at her mother.

"Hi, baby girl," Kayla said as she put down her purse and picked up Stephanie.

Steve stood up and leaned over and kissed Kayla's cheek. Kayla walked to the couch and sat down, waiting for Steve to join her.

"So why did Marcus have to give me a ride home?" Kayla asked.

Steve sighed and ran his hand down his face. "You're not going to like this. Just promise that you'll just listen for a minute so I can get the whole story out."

Kayla nodded and then braced herself.

"After I left the hospital today, the ISA tried to trap me in the alley off River street." Steve held up his hand as Kayla opened her mouth to speak. "Remember - let me finish." He waited for Kayla to nod before he continued. "I know that area better than they do and managed to avoid the trap they had set. I wanted Marcus to bring you home, because I didn't want to take any chances of the ISA deciding to use you to get to me."

Kayla sat silently for a moment, trying to absorb what Steve had told her. "Why did they try to get you now?" she asked, puzzled. "They've been following you for a while now."

"I got a call about the Special Forces unit that helped rescue me," Steve said. "Apparently, they're back in the country. I think the ISA wanted to make sure I wasn't planning on contacting them."

"So what do we do now?" Kayla looked at Steve. "Can we call Roman or something?"

"I've got a plan to deal with them tomorrow." Steve took Kayla's hand. "I know you're not going to like this, but I need you to trust me here. I need you to go to work tomorrow, just like normal - and let me handle the ISA."

"No way," Kayla protested. "After what you told me, you can't expect me to just go work and pretend like nothing is going on. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Steve did not respond, but instead stood up, picked up Stephanie off of Kayla's lap, and put her in the playpen. Then he returned to the couch and pulled Kayla to him. "I know you're worried, Sweetness, but just let me explain what I have in mind."

Kayla listened carefully as Steve explained his plan. As much as she hated to admit it, it appeared Steve had thought it through.

_I still don't have to like it_, she added silently.

"Now do you see why I need you to go to work?" Steve asked. "I need you to be somewhere safe, where the ISA can't get to you. I've already called your folks and they agreed to watch Stephanie tomorrow."

"How do you know that Stephanie and I will be safe?" Kayla said. "The ISA could still get to me at the hospital or get Stephanie at my folks."

"Not without witnesses, baby." Steve shook his head. "I'm not entirely sure if they really want me, or if they're just trying to send me a message. But either way, they don't want any kind of publicity that'll make them look bad, not with Shane's trial coming up." He sounded certain. "If they grab any of us with witnesses around, it's going to come out. I doubt people would be happy to find out the government's tampering with witnesses."

Kayla still did not like the idea of leaving Steve on his own, but she could not think of a better plan. Finally she gave a soft sigh and leaned back into the couch. "All right," she said. "I'll play along, but you better call me the minute you're done. If I don't get a phone call in time, I'm calling Roman, Bo, Shane and anybody else I can think of."

"Fair enough," Steve agreed, pulling her back to him again. "I promise I'll call you as soon as it's over."

"Promise me that you'll be careful, too." Kayla's voice was muffled against Steve's chest.

"I promise, Sweetness." Steve kissed the top of her head. "After tomorrow, we won't have to worry about anybody coming after us anymore."


	250. Chapter 250

"But, Daddy, I should come home."

Shane leaned against the edge of his bed, lowered the phone from his ear and took a deep breath before he tried again to convince Eve to stay in Africa. "I understand, sweetheart," he said wearily. "And I love that you're worried about me. But I'm telling you . . . you should stay with Frankie. There's nothing you can do here in Salem."

_Nothing you can do but add another target for the ISA, Rachel Knight, Jericho or whoever is threatening the family. I have enough to worry about already._

Eve protested again, but Shane was resolute. "Look, Eve, you can't understand what it's like here," he said sharply. "I don't want you coming back and having some sleazy reporter dredge up your past like they did with the rest of the family. Do you really want the entire world learning that you were a prostitute? Because that's what will happen. You'll be able to read in every newspaper in the country how Eve Donovan was a hooker who was tried for killing her pimp. I'm sure they won't have a problem finding one of your mug shots. They have plenty to choose from."

The other end of the line fell silent and it took Shane a moment to register what he had just said.

"Oh, God, Eve . . . I didn't mean that. . . . I'm so sorry."

The line stayed silent and Shane mentally kicked himself. _How could I have said that_?

"Eve, please. I really didn't mean it."

He heard Eve sniffle over the phone.

"Please don't cry," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

Eve sniffled again. "How could you say something like that? I thought you loved me."

_I can't handle this_, he thought, feeling the guilt flood him. "I do love you, Eve. You know how much I love you. I'm really and truly sorry . . . . I didn't mean to lose my head. . . . ." He almost tried to excuse himself by saying how hard the past few weeks had been, but Eve did not need to hear excuses. And if he suggested he was feeling stressed, Eve would probably be on the next flight out of Johannesburg. "Please, sweetheart, forgive me. I just want you to be safe and, right now, you're a lot better off in Africa than here."

After another silence, Eve finally said, "Okay, Daddy." Then she said, "I . . . I'd better go before I wake Frankie."

"Of course, sweetheart," Shane said. She said a hurried and not-too-convincing "I love you" and hung up before he could say the same.

Shane stared at the phone for a moment before he hung it on its cradle. _Utterly brilliant_, he chastised himself. Eve and Frankie had traveled for hours to reach a phone and she had woken at 6 a.m. to catch him before Shane went to sleep - only to have him throw her past in her face.

Sighing, Shane stared around the bedroom and rubbed his tired eyes. So now he had hurt his daughter, just like he had pretty much messed up the lives of nearly everyone else he cared about. _Why should Eve be any different_?

He looked over at the bed and wondered if he would be able to get any sleep that night. Maybe he should have taken Kayla up on her offer to give him something to help him sleep, but then he reminded himself that his family was in danger. What would happen if someone tried to hurt them while he was drugged?

Still, Shane was beginning to forget what sleep was actually like. Most nights, he had barely slept at all; his mind kept racing, refusing to let him actually sleep. It seemed like only when he was near total-exhaustion that he could even manage to doze for a few restless hours.

It was a vicious cycle. The more Shane worried about the future and protecting his family, the more his mind raced. The more it raced, the less he slept. And the less he slept, the harder it was for him to focus on catching the man after his family.

_Maybe tonight_, he thought, as he began unbuttoning his shirt. He was truly exhausted after yet another day of frustration. After dealing with Rachel Knight's article, Neil and Kayla, Shane had spent most of the day going back through his notes on the deliveries Kim had received. He knew he was missing something, but he just could not get his head around it.

The first two attacks, Shane was convinced, were directed at Andrew. Until the photos, however, the deliveries had no specific threat against Andrew, and the photos threatened Andrew, Kim and Jeannie. That inconsistency could not be overlooked.

And the other conundrum . . .

Shane had to force himself to focus. It was a struggle to think right now. He was so tired, yet his mind refused to stop. He kept seeing the pictures with the red "X" and he heard the gunshots as Roman shouted for everyone to get down.

_Focus_!

Okay, okay . . . The other conundrum. The initial attacks did not indicate anything to do with Jericho. Neither did the photos. The delivery of Shane's keys and his old shirt pointed to Jericho, but nothing else did. And there was the why - why did his adversary switch from direct attacks to playing mind games? The photos proved he could have killed Andrew, even after Shane had moved him to the supposed safety of the mansion.

None of it made sense and, damn, he was getting his mind worked up again when he needed to calm himself. "You just need to sleep," he told himself. With some sleep, maybe the fuzzy pieces would come into focus.

"DADDY!"

Shane was just pulling off his shirt when he heard Andrew's scream.

"Andrew!" Shane shouted. Instinct taking over, he tossed his shirt aside and raced into the hall. Without hesitating, he burst through the door to Andrew's room.

"Daddy! Don't take my daddy!" Andrew was tossing and turning in his bed.

Shane's panic subsided, but it was replaced with the same shame that he had felt when he was arrested. _Why didn't they just wait_? he asked himself. _Just a few minutes and Andrew would never have had to witness that._

Andrew cried out again, still in the throes of the nightmare, and Shane set aside those thoughts. The past was the past. All that mattered now was Andrew.

Crossing the room, Shane crouched next to Andrew's bed. Softly, he said, "It's okay, son. It's just a nightmare." He brushed back a lock of his son's hair and Andrew jerked awake.

"Daddy!" he yelled, flinging his arms around Shane's neck. "I . . . The bad men-"

"It was just a bad dream," Shane whispered, holding Andrew tightly. It had been the first time since the day he had come home from jail that they had hugged. Still holding his son, Shane rose slightly and perched on the edge of the bed. "Just a bad dream," he repeated.

"They. . . . They were hurting you," Andrew sobbed as he began to cry.

Shane felt his chest constrict as he heard the pain and fear in his son's voice. "Shhh. . . ." he murmured. "Nobody hurt me. I'm here and I'm okay."

_But for how much longer_? he asked himself.

"It was just a nightmare," Shane said, even as he wished it truly was just a bad dream. The reality was just as bad. "It's okay, Sport."

He had no idea what else to say. He could not promise Andrew that he would not go away. That was going to happen. He had promised Andrew once before that he wouldn't leave, and he had already broken that promise. Shane closed his eyes, stifling the tears that were threatening, and tried to stop his body from shaking. He would not break down in front of Andrew. He had to be strong.

For a long time, he held Andrew close as the boy continued to cry. Shane said nothing, afraid his voice would break if he tried to speak.

_How did I do this_? he wondered. _How did I make such a mess of things_? All his efforts to protect his family had failed.

_I've failed._

The last ten years of Shane's life had been centered on being a good agent, a good husband and a good father. Now what did he have to show for it? Years in prison, apart from the only people who truly mattered in his life.

He swallowed hard, trying to hold back his anguish, and focused on his son. Andrew was the most important thing right now. The boy's sobs were quieting now, and his breathing was growing steady and regular. As Shane continued to hold him, rocking slightly, he felt Andrew relax as he slowly drifted to sleep.

"I'm sorry," Shane whispered once Andrew was asleep. "I'm so sor-" His voice broke off and his eyes stung. Apologies were worthless.

Slowly, taking care not to wake the sleeping boy, Shane slid off the bed and lowered Andrew's head onto his pillow. He found Andrew's teddy bear and slipped it under his arm. Then Shane watched his son sleep for a few, precious minutes.

Shane wiped his eyes and backed out of Andrew's room. He closed the door carefully, making no noise that would wake the boy.

"Shane?"

He turned suddenly, surprised to see Kim only a few feet away. Her light eyes were sad, and he could see the trails left by tears on her cheeks.

"It was just a nightmare," Shane said, forcing his voice even. "He'll be okay."

"Don't." Kim's voice was soft. "I know how hard this is for you. You don't have to pretend in front of me."

"Kim. . . ." Shane flushed, realizing she had probably seen him with Andrew. He started back toward his own bedroom

"What? Are you embarrassed that I saw the great, stoic Shane Donovan show emotion with his son?" Kim stepped in front of him, stopping him before he reached the door to his bedroom. "Remember . . . there was a time when you showed me that side, when you let down those walls."

Shane shook his head. "Kim, I can't do this right now." He stepped around her and walked back into the bedroom.

"Why not?" Kim demanded. "Why not now? You're not some superman without feelings, Shane. Look at you? You're so exhausted you can barely think straight. You don't have to pretend this isn't taking a toll. You don't have to pretend this is easy."

"Easy?" Shane's voice rose dramatically. "I never claimed it was easy. I know it's not-" His voice faltered. He realized his heart was pounding mercilessly against his tightened chest. "There's nothing . . . nothing easy."

Kim stepped toward him and Shane did not pull away when she took his hands. "Come on . . . sit down," she said, softly.

For an instant, Shane wanted to turn away, but their eyes met and he could see his own pain and sadness reflected in hers. Swallowing tightly, he followed her and sat down on the edge of the bed. Kim took a seat beside him.

"You don't have to do this alone," she said. "There's nothing weak about relying on people who love you."

"Kim . . . please . . . ."

"Please what? I know you're hurting. Let me help you. Let me help take away that pain."

_If only it were that easy_, he thought._ If only the pain could just go away. _

"Just talk to me," she begged.

"And what? Tell you how I've screwed everything up?" he shot back. "Tell you how I've failed? Not just you, but Andrew too. Look at the hell you're in right now. If it wasn't for me, your past wouldn't be front-page news, nobody would be threatening you, and you could just live your lives. Don't you get it? You would all be better off-"

Kim cut him off. "Don't you dare say it. None of us would be better off without you. You're Andrew's father and he loves you. And I love you. That's all that matters."

"No." Shane shook his head vigorously. "It's not all that matters. You being safe. That matters. You having a real life without my enemies trying to hurt you. That matters." Shane's chest was tightening and he had to force out the rest. "Just having someone who can be there for you. . . ." He could feel a sharp, stabbing in his chest. "I can't. Don't you see that? I-"

He could not finish. Kim reached up with her hand and brushed his cheek, and he realized for the first time that his cheeks were wet with tears. He was crying. The dam had burst, letting loose the pain that he had tried to seal off deep inside.

He buried his head against her shoulder, unable to control himself as the sobs wracked his body. The pain flooded him.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as her arms wrapped around him. "I-"

Shane tried to find words, but he couldn't as he broke. He clung to her. He was so lost, so afraid, so confused.

"You deserve so much more." His voice cracked with emotion. "So much more." _So much more than I can give you_.

"But you're all I want, Shane Donovan," Kim whispered. "You're all I need."

Like he had earlier with Andrew, Kim held Shane as he let out the emotions he had been trying to bury.

"Let it go," she breathed. He felt her hand brush back his hair and then hold him close. "Let the pain go."

Shane had no idea how long he clung to her and cried. Years of pain came flooding through. Eventually, his sobs began to subside and he started to regain his breath. Still, Kim held him close. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.

Opening his eyes, Shane lifted his head from Kim's shoulder and looked at her. Her eyes stared back at him, a mix of concern and sadness.

"I wish it could be different," he said softly.

She smiled and pulled her hand forward. It traced the line of his jaw. "It can be," she replied.

Shane's eyes closed at her touch. It was so gentle, so soft. "Kim. . . ."

"Shhhh," she whispered.

His breath caught in his throat as she ran her hand down his chest. Kim smiled, her eyes shining, and she slowly traced a circle over his chest with her index finger. His muscles shuddered under her touch. Then she leaned forward and he was powerless to pull away as her lips touched his.

The kiss was long and slow. Her mouth opened slightly, their tongues met, and he savored the taste of her. God, he wanted her so badly. But when they broke apart, he felt a surge of panic.

"This isn't ri-"

Kim cut him off with another long kiss, holding him until he was almost dizzy. When they pulled apart, she whispered. "This _is_ right."

She kissed his check and his neck, her teeth grazing lightly along his throat.

Shane's own breathing was coming faster and he knew he was losing the battle to restrain himself. "Kim," he pleaded. "We can't do this . . . ." A voice in the back of his head was dimly telling him this was wrong. It would be a mistake.

"I know you want me." Her voice was low and husky. "Don't try to deny it."

He couldn't. "I want you," he whispered, any resistance crumbling. Without conscious thought, his hands slipped to the tie on her robe and he undid it. The robe fell away, revealing only her thin chemise. _What am I doing_? he thought, but the thought passed as he kissed her again and the sound of his pounding heart drowned out the silent voices in his head.

As his hand slipped beneath the light fabric of her chemise, Kim brushed his cheek once more. She gasped as he caressed her body, then kissed him again along the neck, eliciting a low moan from the back of his throat, then followed it with a kiss full of passion and desire.

He looked into her eyes and he saw her love reflected in them. "Kim," he whispered, not sure what he meant to say.

"Shhhh, my love," she answered. "No more fear or hurt." She raised her index finger and ran it over his lips, then leaned forward for another deep kiss. "This _is_ right," she repeated when they broke apart. "So don't fight it anymore and just make love to me."


	251. Chapter 251

Lawrence watched the guard take his slow patrol around the cellblock. He stood in the darkness near the bars. Waiting.

It was nearly time.

He glanced at the bunk bed and the brute in the upper bunk. He pretended to be asleep, but Bentley was watching Lawrence. _He's afraid_, Lawrence thought. _He's afraid that what's about to happen will happen here_.

Lawrence almost told him to go to sleep. Bentley was a nuisance. This other thing. This was business.

He could almost picture it. Ramirez was a scrawny type, supposedly a local drug dealer caught in a sting operation. But he had been asking questions - about Lawrence, about who he talked to, about what they said. And Lawrence had noticed the way Ramirez watched him when he was outside his cell.

Taking mental notes that he could hand back to his masters.

Who were they? he wondered. Were they ISA? FBI? Salem PD? It hardly mattered. Even with Donovan out of the way due to those ridiculous charges, Lawrence had known the authorities would continue their unjustified campaign against him. He grinned as he stared into the darkness. Tonight, that campaign would have a major setback.

Lawrence had bought a man easily. A few hundred dollars in this place could buy just about anything. Getting it in was easy. He just had it smuggled in by a guard. Another inmate passed the money along during a book delivery for a few dollars more. Ivan did the rest, arranging a couple of bribes that now delivered Ramirez to a new cell. And a new cellmate.

With a chuckle at how simple the arrangements had been, Lawrence leaned against the bars and listened. Mostly silence except for a few snoring inmates and a pair rutting a few cells down. Was it rape? Lawrence did not know. Frankly, he did not care. A prison was Darwinian theory in practice. Survival of the fittest was all that mattered here. And Lawrence was a survivor.

In the distance, he heard it. A strangled cry. Then a few more. And then some shouts.

The lights blazed on, forcing Lawrence to shield his eyes from the sudden glare. Guards ran down the catwalk, their batons out. There was more shouting.

He tried to see what was happening, but even with his head pressed against the cell bars, all he could see was a crowd of guards clustered around a cell.

So Lawrence waited. He heard the yells of the guards and the shouts of other inmates. A few minutes later, a doctor and some prison orderlies rushed past his cell with a gurney.

Confirmation came a few minutes later. Guided by a half-dozen guards, Lawrence's man sauntered down the catwalk. Dark red blood covered his hands and arms, and bloodstains spattered his grey jumpsuit. As he passed Lawrence's cell, the man gave an almost imperceptible smile and slight nod of his head. The meaning was clear.

_It's done_.

Lawrence watched the man lead the guards down the stairs to the solitary cell where would spend the next few weeks. With a smile, Lawrence turned and leaned back against the cell bars. Bentley watched him with wide eyes and cowered back under the covers.

_Don't worry_, Lawrence thought. _You're nothing. Ramirez was business_.

And, tonight, business was good - very, very good.


	252. Chapter 252

_Tell me it wasn't a dream_, Kim said to herself as she cracked open an eye. The bedroom was still pretty dark, but she smiled as she saw the familiar shadows. They were enough to confirm that she was in _their_ bed. For the first time since she had returned to Salem seven months earlier, Kim was truly home.

Her mind went back to the night before. She had known Shane was near his breaking point. All those sleepless nights coupled with the strain of the arrest and his worry over protecting Andrew had built up. And when he had finally broken, he had finally been able to let all of that go and he had admitted what they both knew.

Their lovemaking had been the culmination of the flood of emotion that he had tried to hold back finally breaking through. Shane still knew her body and how to make every touch and kiss send wave after wave of pleasure through her. But even as she had shivered under his touch, Kim's focus had been on his eyes. She had been unable not tear her eyes away from his.

The fear and pain she had seen as he had finally let go of his emotions had disappeared. In their place, Kim had finally seen the love and desire - and a tenderness that had caused her body to ache for his touch.

In her mind, she had thought, _This is a dream_. _A wonderful, erotic dream. It can't be real. _And as she had gasped in pleasure, she had prayed, _Please let this be real_.

He had been tender and gentle, and as they had come together, he had looked down at her and asked, "Do you know how much I love you?"

She had known. She still knew. The answer had been clear in his eyes and in her heart. _More than anything. More than life itself_.

When it was over, they had said nothing. No words were necessary. The connection that had linked them since even before they could admit their love for one another was there - stronger than ever. Shane had run his index finger over her upper lip, a soft, gentle touch. She had reached up and brushed his matted hair, the dense curls plastered to his forehead in dark ringlets.

_I love you_, she had thought. _I love you, Shane Donovan and I will be yours forever_.

They had remained like that, silently pledging their love, until had he pulled away and rolled onto his back. Kim had turned over and rested her head on his chest. He had tenderly brushed her hair with one hand, while his other had wrapped around her side and held her close. And as Kim had savored that connection and drifted off to sleep, she had thought, _I've never felt safer and more loved than I do right now._

Kim smiled again. The night before had reminded her so much of the first time they had ever made love. The two of them had been so afraid to admit their feelings that they had pushed each other away over and over. It had taken Shane finally gathering the courage to blurt out that he loved her to break down those last walls between them. The night before, it had been Kim's turn to do the same.

Maybe she could call in sick and they could spend the entire day together in bed. _Now that is a wonderful idea_, she thought as she turned over.

Shane's side of the bed was empty.

Almost in a panic, Kim sat up and looked around the room. A wave of relief passed over her as she saw him standing by the window. In the dim, pre-dawn light, she could only see the silhouette of his body. But at least he was there, further proof this was not a dream.

"Shane?"

He turned and just from the slow speed of his movements and the sound of the deep breath he let out, she knew exactly what he was going to say. Before he could even get the words out, she cut him off.

"Don't you do this," she said. "Don't you dare do this."

She could not see his face, but she could hear the pain in his voice. "Kim . . . that was a mistake. Last night never should have happened."

"Last night was wonderful," she insisted. _How could he do this to me_? She pulled herself out of the bed, not caring that she was naked. "Last night was beautiful and we were completely honest and open with each other for the first time in years. Don't act like it was anything less."

Shane said nothing as she crossed the distance between the bed and the window. As she got closer, she could see that he was wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. He had turned his head toward her, so she also could see his face more clearly. She could read the conflict there. She saw love, pain, fear, and so many other emotions at work. With his walls broken, she doubted Shane could have hid his emotions from her right then, no matter how hard he tried.

"How can you deny it?" she asked. "Last night, we made love - in _our_ bed - and it was magical. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."

"Kim. . . ." His voice was hesitant. "Yes, last night was wonderful and . . . and I'll cherish the memory, but it was a mistake. I can't lead you on thinking there's some kind of future for us."

"But there is," she said. _Didn't he understand that_?

Shane looked away. "Why can't you accept reality? I'm going to prison in a few months, and there's nothing that will change that."

"I don't care about that." Kim said. "Don't you understand? I don't have a life without you. If that means I wait for you-"

"Wait for me?" Shane's voice was full of disbelief. "The ISA's trying to put me away for the rest of my life. There's nothing to wait for."

Kim took a deep breath. "Then take the deal."

Shane's entire body seemed to freeze, before he turned around to face her. "You don't mean that," Shane said, shaking his head. "I told you what that would mean."

"So we'd move to England," Kim said. "I love you, Shane, and if it means waiting a few years and moving to England, then that's what we'll do."

Shane seemed stunned. "But your family's all here, and what about your job? I can't ask you to give that up."

"You didn't ask, and you don't have to." Kim stepped closer to him, reached out, and ran her index finger along his chest. Then she looked into his eyes. "I want to be with you because I love you, and if it takes all of us moving to England for that to happen, that's what we'll do. That's what a person does for love."

She could see that Shane remained unconvinced. "Do you have any idea what that would be like?" he asked. "I'd be a traitor. I mean . . . nobody would want anything to do with us."

"I don't care what anybody thinks," she said. "Let them think whatever they want. Anyone who knows you knows the charges are ridiculous and won't believe you did anything wrong." Anticipating what he would say next, she added, "And don't tell me Andrew would be better off without you. He loves you and he'll grow to understand."

There was still a glimmer of doubt in Shane's eyes.

"A few weeks ago, you said I didn't have enough trust in our love to think it could get through anything." Kim reached up and softly caressed Shane's cheek. "I trust that our love will get us through this."

Shane pulled away and took a few steps away. "And when that life turns out not to be what you bargained for? When you're all alone for three years and then isolated in the middle of England?"

He sounded like he was trying to find reasons to disbelieve her, and then it hit her why. "You don't think I can wait for you?" she said, voicing her accusation. "You think I won't be faithful."

"I didn't say that," Shane said. "It's just that you don't seem to know what you're promising. That kind of life won't be easy. It would be bloody hard and damn lonely." He paused. "If you left again. . . . I don't think I'd survive that."

"But I would never leave you." _Why couldn't he believe her_?"I know I made mistakes by leaving in the past, but-"

Shane cut her off. "But what? You said you realized you'd made a mistake the first time you left, but you did it again. I can't go through that again." His voice lowered and he said, sadly, "I can't spend the next few years clinging to some hope for our future and then have you rip my heart out again."

Kim wondered who was ripping out whose heart right now. The night before, when their walls had disappeared, everything had been perfect. Now, a mix of pain and anger filled her. He just could not let go. He had no faith in her. She looked at him and the bitterness fueled her words. "So last night meant nothing. You'll just throw away something incredible that could have led to something even more wonderful. Well, let me tell you something. Maybe it's time for you to look at yourself, Shane, because I'm not the one who's afraid to trust in our love. But if you can't do the same . . . maybe it is better that we end this now."

_I won't let you keep hurting me_, she said to herself.

"When Andrew and Jeannie wake up, I'm going to pack up their things and we'll go back to my folks." She looked Shane straight in the eyes. "I won't live here, knowing what we could have, yet not being able to have it because you can't trust _us_."

"It's not safe," Shane protested. "What about Andrew?"

"He's not any safer here," Kim said. She had heard what Shane told Roman when they had looked over the photos. "And we don't even know if Andrew's still the target," she reminded him. "Those 'X's were on Jeannie's picture and mine too."

"So you're all in danger." Shane shook his head. "Don't be a fool, Kim."

"I'm not," she said. "I'll talk to Roman and have the police reassigned to my parents. It won't be any different than what we have here." She knew he was going to continue to argue, but she cut him off. "That's my decision. I won't torture myself by being this close to you, knowing you want the exact same thing I do, but you're just too much of a coward to admit it. So the children and I are moving out, and if you want to argue about, take it up with a court." Bitterly, she added, "I'm sure they'll be perfectly happy to grant custody to an accused murderer."

She refused to look at him any further, because she did not want him to see the angry tears running down her cheeks. Instead, Kim glanced around the room and spotted her robe from the night before. She picked it up, pulled it around herself, and headed to the door. She had some packing to do.


	253. Chapter 253

Kayla lay, quietly watching Steve sleep. She whispered a small prayer of thanks that his sleep was peaceful. She knew his therapy was not complete, but it had already helped him so much. Unable to resist, she softly brushed the hair from his face.

As her hand ran across his forehead, Steve's eye opened and he smiled as he saw Kayla watching him. "Hi, baby," he said as he shifted to his side. He looked at the clock. "It's still early, Sweetness. What's the matter? Can't sleep?"

Kayla nodded her head. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's okay, baby. I'd rather talk to you than sleep anyway." Steve softly stroked her cheek. "So tell me what's wrong."

Kayla sighed. "I know you don't want me to worry, but I can't help it. I don't like you going up against the ISA like this."

Steve reached out and pulled Kayla to him so that her head was resting on his chest. "I know you're worried, Kayla, but it's going to be all right. You've got to believe that, baby."

"I want to," Kayla replied honestly. "But-"

"No buts, Sweetness," Steve interrupted. "I told you last night. Jack and I have all the bases covered."

"Jack," Kayla said derisively. "How can you trust him to come through? After all that's happened?"

"Because he's trying to make up for his mistakes just like I am," Steve replied. "We both know Jack can be a bit of a screw-up, but he's going to come through this time. He knows how important it is."

"I hope you're right." Kayla was unconvinced. "There's a lot riding on him this time around."

"I know." Steve sighed. "But Jack's come through before when the chips were down. Remember he's the one who found the key when Kiriakis was holding you. He'll come through again."

Kayla did not respond. She wanted to believe Steve was right and she knew she had to trust his faith in Jack. But it didn't mean she had to like it. She pushed herself up so she could look in Steve's eye.

"Maybe I could accept all this better if I really understood why you feel you have to do this." Kayla said, trying to persuade Steve. "We know the ISA is following you. So why can't we just be extra careful for while? They can't keep the surveillance up forever."

"Because as long as they are watching every step I take, I'm never going to be able to do what I need to do to try and help Shane," Steve said forcefully. "Contacting those soldiers is going to be next to impossible with the ISA on my tail."

"I understand that," Kayla replied. "But you can't honestly believe the ISA is just going to go away, even if your plan succeeds."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Steve shrugged. "But they'll know that I'm not going to just play their game. They'll know that I have some games of my own to play." Steve sat up and leaned against the headboard. "Sometimes all you can do is fight back, Sweetness. Maybe that will give me an opening I can use."

Kayla sighed again. She knew Steve was right, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. No matter how much she told herself that it was just her own fear talking, the feeling would not go away.

"Just promise me you'll be careful," she finally said. "If anything seems off or you have any doubts, just call the whole thing off."

Steve looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "All right, Kayla. I promise that if anything goes even a little wrong, I'll back off. I won't take any unnecessary chances."

"And you'll call me as soon as it's over?" Kayla was insistent.

"I promise." Steve looked at her. "But you have to promise to go to work and act like nothing is going on. I don't know if the ISA has anyone watching you, but I don't want to take any chances."

"I promise to do my best," Kayla said. "But it's not going to be easy."

"I know. But you can do it, Sweetness." Steve leaned in and kissed Kayla. Kayla returned the kiss and gave him a small smile. Steve grinned back and pulled her to him and kissed her again, more deeply this time. Kayla felt her body begin to warm as Steve's hands began to wander down her back.

Steve gently rolled her over and his mouth moved down her neck and to her chest. Kayla moaned softly and threaded her fingers through his hair. Suddenly a loud beeping noise startled them both out of their passionate embrace.

"Damn," Kayla hissed as Steve reached over to turn off the alarm clock.

Steve chuckled and rolled back over and kissed her forehead. "Sorry, baby. I guess you should have woken me up a little earlier."

Kayla smiled in spite of her frustration. "Can't we just pretend we didn't hear that?"

Before Steve could answer, Stephanie's babbling came over the baby monitor, as if on cue. Chuckling, Steve kissed Kayla softly again and said, "Maybe we could ignore the mechanical alarm, but I don't think we can ignore the human one."

"I guess you're right," Kayla said as she sat up. "I need to get ready anyway since Marcus will probably be here exactly on time as always."

"Homey is very prompt, isn't he?" Steve shook his head. "Even in the orphanage he was always on time for everything."

"Brrr." Kayla shivered as she got out of bed and threw on her robe. "It must have gotten cold last night."

"The weatherman said a cold snap was coming," Steve said as he quickly pulled on his jeans and shirt. "I guess he was right." He walked over and put his arms around Kayla. "Why don't you go jump in the shower and warm back up. I'll get Stephanie and get the heat on in this place."

"Sounds good." Kayla stepped away and headed for the shower. "I guess I'm going to have to go shopping for some winter clothes for Stephanie soon. Things have been so crazy I haven't had a chance and all she has is summer stuff."

"Hopefully things will be a lot less crazy soon," Steve said, sounding hopeful as he walked towards the door. "A little peace and quiet would do all of us some good."

"I couldn't agree more," Kayla said softly. Walking into the bathroom, she turned on the water and was soon standing under the warm and soothing spray of the shower. Her fears were still there, but she tried to push them down. _It will all be taken care of after today_. That was what she had to focus on.


	254. Chapter 254

As he left the apartment building, Steve spotted his tail. The typical, government-issued, nondescript sedan was now a light-gray subcompact Toyota. But Steve was able to make it out easily when it pulled out of a parking space just down the block from the apartment's parking lot.

_Now where should we go now_, Steve wondered. The Toyota was remaining a discrete distance behind him, so he doubted the ISA was planning another move. _Not when they don't know where I'm going_.

To give the impression that he was just running a few errands, Steve stopped at the gas station and filled up his tank. Then he made a swing by the flower shop. At each stop, the Toyota parked a block away. Its occupants never got out to get a close look.

At the flower shop, while waiting for the florist to put together a small bouquet of yellow roses and baby's breath, Steve made a couple of quick calls from the pay phone. Jack was not at the Spectator. _Good_. Steve smiled as he walked back over to the florist to pick up the flowers.

"Is that everything?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Johnson, exactly as instructed," the florist said as she handed him the bouquet. It was swathed in plastic, with the stems placed in a brown bag. "The bag will help in this cold."

Walking out of the shop with his bouquet, Steve shivered. Kayla was right about how cold it had turned. With the wind chill, it felt a lot closer to winter than late-September. Pulling his jacket tighter, Steve forced himself to focus on his present task and checked that the Toyota was still in place. It was. He spotted two men in the front seat.

_Time to have a little fun boys._

Once inside the car, Steve reached into the brown bag and found what he was looking for. _Billy Jack came through_. He pulled out a sealed plastic bag and grinned as he stared at a brand-new walkie talkie.

He slowly pulled his car out of the parking lot. Keeping the car to about 15 mph, he made sure the Toyota was able to follow easily. He drove down Main St. and turned toward the riverfront.

_Don't fall behind_, Steve silently instructed the ISA agents. He was only a few blocks from the docks now, so he pulled the walkie talkie out of the bag and turned it on. After it blared to life, Steve pressed the "talk" button and asked, "Jackson, you there?"

He let go and briefly listened to static before he heard Jack's voice. "You're supposed to call me 'Eagle.' Or 'Eagle One.'"

Steve grimaced. "I think that's reserved for the President."

"Then how about 'Alpha'?" Jack asked.

"This isn't a time for games, Jack." Steve lost his patience. "Just tell me everything's in place."

The walkie talkie crackled before Jack replied. "That's an affirmative, Cyclops."

_Cyclops_. Steve rolled his eye. "You're not making fun of the patch now, are you, Jack?"

"Uh, no . . . it just seemed to . . . uh . . . fit your large, commanding presence. A giant among men."

Steve had enough. "Look, cut it out with the codenames and just be ready to move. I'm just a block away."

"Uh, sure," Jack said.

"Good. And, Billy Jack, don't screw this up."

Setting down the walkie talkie, Steve glanced again in his rearview mirror. The Toyota was still in sight. He slowly turned right a few blocks from the river. His car was now headed into the riverfront warehouse district. The Toyota followed.

He passed Simmons Freight and briefly wondered if the Simmons brat still had a "professional" crew. The old Allied warehouse was not too far away and Steve drove toward it.

The Toyota continued to follow.

Reaching the Allied warehouse, Steve turned right onto a small street that ran between a couple of the larger warehouses. In some of the side alleys and warehouse entrances, he spotted large trucks being loaded with freight.

_Nearly there_.

Behind him, the Toyota turned down the road. Steve kept driving down the street as he picked up the walkie talkie. "Okay, Jack . . . . Wait for it . . . Wait . . ."

The Toyota pulled past the first alley.

"NOW!"

Steve's view of the Toyota was cut off as a large truck with the logo of the Salem Spectator pulled out of a warehouse and blocked the street. Steve pulled his car to the side of the street, stopped, and jumped out. With the walkie talkie against his ear, he yelled, "Did we get them?" He almost forgot to let go of the button, but when he did, he heard Jack through the static.

"- as a bug in a rug. Our friends aren't going anywhere, Cy- I mean, Steve."

The truck between him and the Toyota had stopped just a few feet from the warehouse opposite the one it had pulled out of, so Steve had room to pass. As he reached the truck, he heard the sound of a car horn blaring. He grinned when he got a view of the other side.

The Toyota was stopped, trapped between the truck Steve had just passed and another Spectator truck that had pulled out of an alley behind it. The driver punched his horn again, then spotted Steve, and grimaced. He reached into his coat, most likely for a sidearm.

"You don't need that," Steve called out. He held his arms away from his body to show that he was unarmed and holding only the walkie talkie. "Actually, I should advise you that representatives of the press are present, so you probably shouldn't do anything you might regret becoming national news." He looked past the Toyota at the truck on the other side and saw Jack grinning back. Next to him was a Spectator photographer who was snapping away with his camera. "Besides, I just want to have a little talk."

In the car, the driver pulled his hand out of his coat and sat back in his seat. The passenger was doing the same. Neither appeared to have a gun in hand.

Steve walked casually to the car, still keeping his arms out. A blast of wind struck his face and he grimaced at the cold, but he did not lower his arms. He reached the driver's door and looked inside. He laughed when he realized the driver was the ISA agent to whom Steve had given a black eye at Lawrence Alamain's house.

"Nice to see you again," Steve said, while he waited for the driver to lower the window. Eventually, the man complied.

"You're going to regret this," the ISA agent said. His partner in the passenger seat looked equally unhappy.

Steve shrugged. "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. But right now, I think I have you in a rather awkward situation. So, for now, why don't you listen while I tell you what's going to happen next."

The ISA agent's eyes narrowed.

"I want a meeting with Tarrington," Steve said. "Today. He can name the place and time. Just . . . just make sure he knows that Jack Devereaux will know exactly when and where it's taking place and just needs to fill in a few blanks for the article to hit tomorrow's Spectator."

The ISA agent said nothing for a moment, and Steve feared he might refuse, but the man finally nodded. "I'll let him know. Where should he contact you?"

Steve grinned again. "I'll be at The Cheating Heart. Plenty of folks will be around just in case. I'm sure the ISA can find the number and address."

Turning away, Steve felt a momentary wash of relief. He still had to deal with Tarrington, but everything had worked like clockwork so far. Tarrington would get the message. Steve glanced down at the walkie talkie in his hand and chuckled. It was probably the most expensive model on the market. Jack had probably paid a pretty penny for it and to pay off the clerk at the flower show to slip the device to Steve earlier.

And there were the Spectator trucks. As he walked toward the truck that had cut off the Toyota, he lifted the walkie talkie and punched the "talk" button again. "I must say that I'm glad to see you putting the paper's resources to good use."

There was a pause before Jack responded. "I'll let you tell that to the union. I'm sure I'll get a grievance over this one."

Steve laughed as he reached the truck. He grinned and gave the driver a small salute. The man grinned back, then began reversing the truck into the warehouse.

"I don't think you have too much to worry about," Steve said into the walkie talkie.

Jack's voice came back over the device. "Oh . . . and I want that walkie talkie back. I still have the receipt and can probably return it. I don't want Jennifer finding out that I spent next month's rent on a toy."

Steve chuckled. "You got it. Meet me at the Cheating Heart and I'll buy you a drink. One drink," he added quickly. Then he grinned again. "You know what? I hate to say it, Jack, but you did good, little brother. You did real good."


	255. Chapter 255

Saying a quiet prayer of thanks, Kayla hung up the phone. Steve had just called to tell her that the first part of the plan had worked perfectly and that he and Jack were at the Cheating Heart waiting for Tarrington to contact Steve.

Kayla had made Steve again promise to call her after his meeting with Tarrington and Steve had assured her that he would. She had also made him promise not to get into any trouble at the Heart and, with a chuckle, he had made that promise as well.

Thinking back to their conversation, Kayla could not help but smile at the way Steve's voice had sounded. Despite the potential danger, he was clearly enjoying every minute of his little escapade with Jack. He sounded more like himself than he had during much of the time he had been home.

Sighing softly, Kayla pushed back her fears. Steve had told her repeatedly that there was no real danger involved in his plan, because the ISA did not want any publicity that would somehow make Steve or Shane sympathetic figures. Kayla had a hard time believing it was quite that simple, but she had promised to trust Steve's judgment, so that was what she had to do.

She thought again about how Steve was enjoying his game with the ISA. It was almost too much fun for him. She knew that she would have to accept that, whatever Steve chose to do in the future, it would always involve some element of adventure and/or danger. It was too much a part of him to ask him to change and, truth be told, if he changed, he would not be the Steven Earl Johnson that she loved. She just wanted the danger to be non-life threatening.

Knowing she had some time to kill before Steve called again, Kayla decided to go to the lab and see if she could find something to distract herself. Putting on her lab coat, Kayla headed out of her office.

Just as she reached the door to the lab, she noticed Kim standing by the elevators. Although she could only see Kim's profile, Kayla instantly knew that something was wrong. She did not know what gave it away; maybe she just knew her sister too well. But whatever it was, Kayla rushed directly to Kim.

"Kim?" she called softly as she drew closer.

Kim turned at the sound of Kayla's voice. One look confirmed Kayla's belief. She could see the tell-tale redness around Kim's eyes and a sadness in her eyes that Kim could not hide.

"Kay." Kim tried and failed to sound like nothing was wrong. "What . . . what's up?"

"I was about to ask you the same question." Kayla looked closely at her sister. "What's wrong? Did something happen with Shane or Andrew?"

"No . . . nothing happened." Kim turned away from Kayla's questioning look. "Everything's fine."

For a moment, Kayla contemplated taking Kim at her word. Things were still pretty tense between them and she did not want to end up starting another fight. But their talk the day before had seemed to help a little and Kayla could tell that Kim was very upset about something. No matter how bad things were between them, Kayla could not stand to see her sister hurting.

As the elevator arrived, Kayla reached for Kim's arm. "Everything is clearly not fine, Kim. Why don't we go to my office and talk for a minute?"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Kim said. "I need to go to my office and get some work done."

Kayla gave it one last shot. "I know we've been having our issues, Kim, but I'm still your sister and I'm worried about you. You don't have to pretend everything is okay with me."

Kim did not respond, but also did not get on the elevator. As the elevator doors closed again, Kim turned, her eyes glistening with tears. Without a word, Kayla put her arm around Kim's shoulders and steered them back to Kayla's office.

Once inside, Kayla led Kim to the chair and handed her some tissue. Kim dried her eyes and took a few deep breaths, then looked up.

"Thanks . . ." She hesitated for a moment, then shook her head slightly. "I don't know what's wrong with me today."

Kayla was not buying that for an instant, but she worried that Kim might not confide in her. After all that had happened between them recently, Kayla was not even sure she should expect Kim to talk.

"I don't think that's really true," Kayla said softly. "I think you know exactly what's wrong, but you just don't want to tell me about it."

"Kay-"

"No, it's okay," Kayla interrupted. "I don't blame you after everything that's happened. But you look like you could really use somebody to talk to. Do you want me to call and see if Marlena is in her office?"

"No." Kim shook her head. "I really am okay . . . or at least I will be."

Kayla gave Kim a questioning look. "What does that mean?"

"I moved the kids and me out of Shane's house this morning," Kim said, not quite keeping the bitterness out of her voice. "It's time I accept that he's never going to give us a chance and stop running into the same brick wall over and over again."

Kayla was shocked. Even with all that had happened between Shane and Kim, Kayla had been sure it was only a matter of time before they stopped fighting their feelings and worked things out. Or maybe Kayla had just wanted to believe it would happen to assuage her own guilt.

"What happened?" Kayla could not help but ask.

Kim offered a humorless smile. "It doesn't really matter what happened. The reality is that Shane won't let himself trust me again and, without that trust, we have no chance." She grabbed another tissue and fresh tears appeared in her eyes. "I just couldn't stay in that house anymore. Being that close just. . . ." Kim's voice faded away.

"Just hurts too much," Kayla finished. She knew how Kim felt and wished there was something she could do to help. "I know you might not believe this at this point, but I really am sorry that you couldn't work things out. I wanted that - for both of you."

Kim nodded. "I know you did." She wiped her tears again and then straightened her shoulders. "But it's time to move forward, not back. I'm going to stay with Mama and Papa for a little while and then look for a new home for me and the kids."

"What about the protection for Andrew?" Kayla asked.

"Roman has moved the police patrols to Mama and Papa's house," Kim replied. "And Shane insisted that Mike come with us to keep Andrew safe. Since the ISA removed everything from Shane's house, we're as safe at the Fish Market as we were with Shane."

Kayla wondered how true that was, but decided it was not a good time to argue the point with Kim. Her sister had clearly made her decision and Kayla knew it had not been an easy one. Whatever had happened to push Kim to make the move had hurt Kim deeply. _You really messed up this time_, Shane Donovan, she thought silently.

Trying to lighten the mood, Kayla offered Kim a smile. "Well at least Stephanie will be happy. She's spending the day with Ma and Pop, and I'm sure she'll love having Andrew and Jeannie to play with today."

Kim returned Kayla's smile. "I think you're right. She and Jeannie were already busy babbling at one another when I left for work this morning. And Andrew seemed happy to play babysitter with both of them."

"I'm sure Ma won't mind the help," Kayla said with a grin.

"I'm not sure how much 'help' Andrew might actually be, but it is very cute to see how protective he is of both of them." Kim seemed to hesitate for a moment. "I have to admit I was a little afraid that he might be resentful of Stephanie. He doesn't really understand what's going on with Shane, but he knows it has something to do with bringing Stephanie's daddy back."

"I know this has all been really hard on Andrew." Kayla felt a familiar wave of guilt arrive. "I just hope he understands someday."

"He will." Kim stood and gave Kayla a determined look. "We'll all get through this and be okay. I just have to keep believing that."

Kayla nodded. "That's right. Don't you ever forget that."

Kim returned Kayla's nod. "Now I really do need to get to work. Thanks for listening. I . . . I really do appreciate it."

"I'm glad I was here," Kayla said sincerely. "And if you need another break, you know where to find me."

Kim smiled. "Yes I do. I'll see you later, Kay." Kim turned and headed out the door.

As her sister left, Kayla smiled softly to herself. She felt bad for Kim, but she could not help but be a little happy that the ice seemed to be thawing between her and her sister.

Kayla stood up and once again began her walk to the lab. Stopping at her assistant's desk, she made sure that any call from Steve would be forwarded to the lab, then continued on her way. Entering the lab, she saw several technicians hard at work and soon joined them, doing her best to put her worries out of her mind for the time being.


	256. Chapter 256

Mickey was talking, but Shane barely heard a word. His mind was elsewhere, preoccupied with wondering if Kim and the kids were safe - and wondering how he had made such a mess of things.

Shane had tried to stop Kim from leaving that morning, but there was no stopping her. "_I can't stay here_," she had said. He had been about to argue with her when Andrew had come downstairs carrying his small suitcase. He had looked so confused and Shane had not wanted to fight in front of the boy. So he had told Andrew that they would see each other soon and had let Kim leave.

_What the bloody hell was I thinking last night_? he asked himself. It was like everything that had been boiling under the surface erupted and he had lost control of himself. It was just that the strain of everything had finally gotten to him. His inability to do anything about these charges, running into constant dead ends with the threats, and feeling so helpless seeing Andrew so scared . . . After all that, he had just cracked. And when Kim had taken him to bed, he had no strength to resist.

_It was a mistake_. As he had lain in bed afterward, holding Kim to his chest and listening to her slow breathing, his mind had started to race again, this time with images - Kim in bed with Cal Winters as Shane returned home; Kim undressing in front of the video camera before Lawrence Alamain covered the view; Kim handing him an envelope right before she left Salem. As he had stared at the ceiling, he had kept telling himself it was a mistake.

_Last night was a mistake_, he silently insisted.

"Shane, are you listening?"

Jerking his head up, Shane realized Mickey had stopped talking an was staring at him intently.

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Mickey asked.

Shane sighed. "I'm sorry. . . . I was just a little distracted. You were saying?"

Mickey leaned back in his chair. "How about I just get to the point and save you on your legal fees by not repeating everything?"

Feeling like an idiot, Shane nodded. "Go ahead. I'm listening."

"You need to talk to me," Mickey said. "You need to tell me what happened so I can at least see if there's some way to mount a defense."

Shane took a deep breathe. "You read the article; there isn't much more to say."

"We both know that's not true." Mickey stood up from his chair and rubbed his eyes. "Would you at least tell me _why_ you won't tell me the whole story?"

"Because there's no point to doing so." Shane asked evenly. "There's nothing you could do with the information. I've already gone through everything."

Mickey's frustration boiled over. "I can't help you if I don't have the facts. Even if there's nothing I can do, at least I might be able to understand the situation and, maybe, it would help me plan out a strategy. Look . . . whatever you tell me is confidential, so it's not like I can tell anyone else."

Shane had to admit that Mickey had a point. There was no real danger if Mickey had to keep the facts confidential and it might stop his pestering.

"You really can't talk about this with anyone," Shane said. "Not even Maggie. Do I have your word?"

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Fine. Yes. I'm all ears."

Shane nodded slowly and began to tell the entire story, beginning with Tarrington showing up with the picture of Steve in the compound.

"From the start, the parameters were clear," Shane explained. "If word got out, the ISA would have to call it a rogue operation. I knew that."

"Still . . . it seems pretty crazy when the ISA organized the mission," Mickey said. "So what happened then?"

Shane proceeded to tell Mickey about the planning and execution of the mission. He mentioned the soldiers being Green Berets, but did not mention the unit or any of the soldiers' names. Then he described how the intelligence had been bad and how they barely managed to get Steve out. Shane also explained how Steve's blood had provided the antibodies to cure the virus that Bo had, but that was an "unanticipated benefit" that did not change the secrecy requirements.

"So all we have to do is call the soldiers and they testify that your mission was authorized," Mickey said. "With Steve and your testimony, that should be enough."

"You can't do that." Shane knew this would be the hard part of making Mickey understand, but he explained how the soldiers could not testify about a classified mission and would be placing their lives and careers in jeopardy if they did.

Mickey sighed. "The judge's already said he won't be granting immunity to witnesses. That was one of the first motions the AUSA filed. Now I know why. It was to preempt us from using that to allow the soldiers to testify."

"Hardly surprising," Shane said. "Tarrington assured me the judge is in the ISA's pocket."

Mickey scowled. "I've known Judge Lambert a long time. I can't believe-" Then he paused. "But that order was pretty unusual. Typically, you don't decide immunity issues until they arise and the judge looks at the facts on a case-by-case basis." Mickey's eyes narrowed. "You know, we could go public with that. I'm sure Jack Devereaux would run the story."

"Based on what?" Shane asked. "My word against the head of the ISA's? Even with Jack backing me, I'm still an accused murdered and traitor - and now I'm also a man who pimped out my wife, and then got involved with her sister. Somehow, I don't think the public is going to be very receptive to my claiming I'm being railroaded."

Shane shook his head and then ran his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Mickey," he said. "I know you're trying to come up with something and, I assure you, I'm grateful. I just wish I had some ideas. But the only thing I can come up with either involves putting someone else at risk of jail-time or committing actual treason."

"You're not a traitor," Mickey replied.

"We both know that, but so does Tarrington." Shane shook his head. "If I threatened to leak information, he'd call my bluff. And then they'd probably add extortion charges or some similar lot."

"Avoiding prison is a pretty powerful motive, Shane." Mickey had sat back down in his chair. "Even Tarrington must know that."

"He may, but he knows me. We may disagree on methods, but he knows I wouldn't jeopardize the agency's mission." Shane sighed in frustration. "He knows how hard it is for me to even consider the plea offer because I'd have to plead guilty to treason. He knows there's no way I'd actually do it. Not to save my own skin."

They both fell silent. _I wish there was a way_, Shane thought. _God, I wish there was._

Mickey finally broke the silence.

"Maybe you should reconsider a guilty plea."

Shane looked up in surprise.

"I mean it, Shane," Mickey said. "If you're not going to defend against the charges, why let them put you away for a long time. We both know the deal's generous."

"And plead guilty to treason?"

"It's no worse than being convicted of murder," Mickey pointed out. "Okay . . . maybe for a spy, it is. But come on, Shane, nobody who knows you could ever believe you're a traitor."

Shane chuckled ruefully. "You sound like Kim." In response to Mickey's raised eyebrow, Shane explained. "She said I should plead guilty earlier. She even said she'd move to England with the kids if they deport me."

"That's a pretty remarkable offer," Mickey said.

_Yes, it is_, Shane thought.

Mickey studied him. "She must really love you a lot to do that."

_Yes, she does_. Shane turned away and looked out the window. _And I bloody-well screwed that up, didn't I_?


	257. Chapter 257

Steve glanced at Jack as the two dark-suited ISA agents entered the bar.

"Hey, Billy Jack, now you're not the only one in here in a suit and tie." At Jack's grimace, Steve said, "Just take it easy and do what I told you."

The ISA agents stopped in front of their table and crossed their arms. Both looked like former linebackers and Steve suspected they were the biggest agents Tarrington could find. But Steve was not going to be intimidated.

"Hello, boys." Steve gave the two men a wry smile. "Care for a beer?" When they just continued to glare, Steve joked, "Of course not, that might affect your cheerful demeanors."

"Get up," said the first agent.

Jack eyed Steve, leaned over, and whispered, "I think we'd better do what he says."

"Sure things, boys," Steve said, keeping his tone light. "So where are we going now?"

"Just you," the agent said to Steve. "Not him."

Steve shook his head. "You don't think I'm stupid, do you? Jack's coming with, and, if he's not back in an hour, the Salem Spectator will be running an article on how its owner was last seen in the custody of the ISA."

The two agents looked at one another, and the first agent gave Jack a once-over before finally saying, "Come on. Tarrington's waiting."

Once in the parking lot, one of the agents frisked Steve. He gathered the other was doing the same to Jack, because his brother protested.

"Erm . . . this really is unnecessary. Just ask my brother . . . I don't really know how to handle a gun."

"They're clean," said the agent.

Steve grinned. "I knew that shower this morning would come in handy." The ISA agent did not seem to appreciate the joke, because he grabbed Steve's arm and shoved him toward a waiting sedan. Steve almost made a crack about what had happened to the Toyota, but decided not to bother. He did notice that a couple of Cheating Heart regulars were watching them. _Good_. He had faith in Vern Scofield running Jack's article, but witnesses could only help.

Soon enough, they were both inside the car and driving through the streets of Salem. Steve could feel a nervous energy rising inside him, but he also felt a surge of excitement. The late-afternoon traffic made traveling slow, but the car eventually drove into a residential neighborhood on the outskirts of town and pulled into the driveway of a small house.

"Interesting place you've got here," Steve said.

Jack nodded. "Looks like a Cape Cod."

"Out," said the lead ISA agent.

Shaking his head, Steve climbed out of the car. "You know, dude, we're not your prisoners. I asked for this meeting." The agent just continued to glare ominously and motioned for the front door, which another man was opening.

Behind him, Steve heard Jack whisper, "Are you sure about this? I can almost see the headline, '_Double Murder in Suburbs_.'"

Steve had to admit that he was feeling some of same concern, but he shunted it aside. The ISA was not that stupid. "Keep your head up," Steve muttered so only Jack could hear. "Don't do anything stupid."

Stepping inside, Steve almost began to laugh. They had walked into a living room that looked like the Beaver and Wally should come rushing out of the back. The sofa and chairs were covered with flowered pillows that stood out against the pinkish walls.

"I think Alice Horton has that same couch," Jack said. "Not exactly what I pictured for a high-level spy meeting."

"Consider this a last-minute option," said someone from just beyond a door opposite them. The voice was low, with a distinct English accent. A moment later, a tall, gangly man with thinning, grey hair entered. On first glance, nothing seemed particularly remarkable about the man, but as he stepped into the room, the other agents cleared out of his way. That told Steve all he needed to know. The man must be Chief Tarrington. They had never met before; all of Steve's prior ISA contacts were with Shane, Gail Carson and Simon Prescott.

Tarrington stopped just inside the room. "I don't normally appreciate being summoned like this, Mr. Johnson."

"Well, you'll have to forgive me, Chief Tarrington. I don't normally appreciate someone trying to kidnap me or threatening my family, so we're even." Steve had rehearsed a bit of a speech for this meeting, but the details seemed to slip completely from his brain. Instead, he said, evenly, "I want you to back off."

"Back off?" Tarrington affected a questioning tone. "I don't know whatever you might mean."

Steve shook his head. "Don't give me that. I'm talking about the surveillance and your goons laying in wait the other day. It ends now."

"And if it doesn't?" Tarrington now sounded bemused. "I mean . . . who can blame the ISA for wanting to ensure the safety of a key witness in one of the biggest espionage trials this decade?"

"It's only 1991," Jack said. "You're not exactly reaching that far. Ooh-" Jack grunted as Steve's elbow connected with his ribs.

Steve did not need any distractions right now. "Look, Tarrington, I don't know what you think I'm keeping from you. I told Donovan everything-"

Tarrington interrupted. "I think we should excuse Mr. Devereaux from this discussion."

"Steve-"

It suddenly dawned on Steve why Tarrington did not want Jack there._ Thank you, Chief. That's just the leverage I need_. "It's okay, Jack. Why don't you wait in the car?"

Jack protested. "I really don't think I should leave you here."

"I assure you, Mr. Devereaux, your brother is perfectly safe," Tarrington said. "Had we wanted him to come to any harm, neither of you would have left the bar earlier today."

"Go on, Jack. It'll be okay." Steve waited for Jack to leave, followed by an ISA agent, no doubt to ensure that Jack did not eavesdrop through the front door. Another agent peered through the blinds on the front window and then nodded.

Now that they were free to speak openly, Tarrington said, "I'm sorry about that, but-"

"But you don't want the press to get wind about the poison Lawrence Alamain is creating." Steve smiled. "That paints you into a bit of a corner, doesn't it?"

Tarrington stepped forward. "That would be a national security disaster. You have no idea the panic it would cause. Surely you can see that."

Steve tapped his patch. "I see just fine, don't worry. So here's the deal. You leave me and my family alone and I don't spill the beans about what Alamain's cooking up. You know everything I know about it. I told Kim everything except what I remembered about the wine bottle, and I told Donovan about that. I'm not holding back anything."

As he finished, he felt much like a mouse being studied by a cat. Steve had never met Tarrington before, but he knew, beneath that seemingly unremarkable exterior, the man was dangerous. He was imperious and was accustomed to getting his way. This was not a man who liked dealing with ex-pool hustlers.

"Do we have a deal?" Steve asked.

Tarrington pursed his lips, then nodded once. "Very well, Johnson. You remain silent about what you know and we can withdraw the surveillance." He paused. "There is one more thing, however."

"What's that?"

"Donovan," Tarrington said. "You can't help him, Mr. Johnson."

Steve chuckled. And lied. "If you've done your homework, you know I've pretty much struck out on that front. Besides, Shane's pretty much decided to roll over for you, so I don't think you've got much to worry about." Steve shook his head. "It's crazy how the ISA can screw over its people so much and you still can get them to play 'good soldier.' Well, you don't have to worry about me messing up your plans to sell Shane out."

That mouse-feeling returned as the room fell silent. Finally, Tarrington said, "I urge you to remember that. Since we seem to be done here, please . . . . My agents will return you to your bar." As he finished, something flashed deep in his eyes. "Have a good night, Mr. Johnson. Feel free to go about your business."

_You're lying_, Steve thought, but he kept his cool. "I'm glad we understand each other, Chief," he said. "I wouldn't want any further misunderstandings." With that, he turned and headed out the door, spotting Jack, who was standing by the car.

As he got close, Jack gave him an expectant look. "So?"

"So that's how you deal with the big dogs, little brother." Steve grinned, as he, Jack and the two agents got into the car. "It's all clear. We understand each other."

Silently, Steve told himself that he understood more than Tarrington thought. Steve knew the ISA was not done with him, but he also knew they would back off for awhile, as a show of good faith and to encourage Steve to get complacent. That, at least, gave him time to prepare, because if the ISA came back, Steve intended to be ready.

Jack and Steve remained silent during the ride back to the Heart, although Steve knew that Jack was dying to ask him what had been discussed after he had been ushered from the room. When they finally reached the Heart, the car stopped and one of the agents silently gestured for Steve and Jack to exit.

"Thanks for ride boys." Steve grinned as he got out of the car. "Maybe we can do this-"

Before Steve could finish, the car sped away. Turning to Jack, Steve shrugged. "I guess they didn't have as much fun as we did."

"You call this fun?" Jack asked incredulously. "They could have killed us - or worse."

"You worry too much, Jackson." Steve could not help but feel exhilarated. Not just because his plan had worked to perfection, but because for the first time since his return, he felt like he was back on his game. He felt like him again.

"Come on, Jack," he said to his brother. "Let's get to your office. We have some work to do."

"What?" Jack said, following Steve to Jack's car. "I thought we were finished for the day."

"Not quite," Steve replied, getting into the car. "We've got a limited window of opportunity to try and get some information while the ISA pretends to back off and leave me alone. No point in wasting time."

Jack shook his head, but remained silent. Steve chuckled silently knowing his brother had no idea what he had gotten himself into when he promised to help. Glancing around, he noticed Jack's car phone.

"Hey, Billy Jack, can I use your phone? I promised to call Kayla."

"Sure," Jack replied. "Just keep it short. That thing costs a fortune."

Steve rolled his eye as he picked up the phone and dialed Kayla's office. He was not surprised when she answered on the first ring.

"Hey baby," he said when he heard her voice.

"Steve!" The relief in Kayla's voice was clear. "You're okay."

"I'm fit as a fiddle, Sweetness. Everything went perfectly. Even Jack managed not to screw anything up."

Steve heard Kayla giggle at that. "So we're safe now?" she asked.

"Yeah, baby. The ISA is going to back off for the time being at least."

"Good." Kayla's voice got softer and huskier. "How about I leave work right now and meet you at home in a few minutes?"

Steve closed his eye at the sound of her voice, then shook his head regretfully. "Sorry, Sweetness, but I need to work on some things with Jack for a few hours. I want to get a jump on the ISA and see if I can get some more information about that Special Forces unit. By tomorrow, that information might be harder to find."

Steve could hear Kayla sigh. "All right," she said reluctantly. "But please come home as soon as you can."

"I will, baby," he replied. "I'll see you in a few hours. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Steve hung up the phone and saw Jack looking at him. Ignoring the look, Steve looked out the window and saw they had arrived at the Spectator. When the car stopped, Steve grinned at Jack. "Come on, Jackson. It's time to go to work."


	258. Chapter 258

Kim shivered in the unseasonably cold weather as she hurried into her parents' home. She still could not believe how quickly the weather had turned and, according to the weatherman, the temperature was supposed to drop to near-freezing during the night.

_It's so strange coming back here_, she thought as she climbed the porch steps. When she woke that morning, she had told herself that she was finally at home, at her and Shane's house. And now, she was back at her parents.

_Don't think about that_. Kim silently chastised herself. She had spent almost the entire day thinking about Shane. The elation she had felt the night before was still so close and she could almost feel Shane's touch as he made love to her. But she also could still feel the crushing pain as he destroyed all of her hopes. That pain had threatened to drown her all day, and she had no idea how she would get through the night with no work to distract her and the likelihood that her mother would spend the evening hovering and trying to convince Kim to try to fix things yet again.

_Sorry, Mama, but this isn't fixable._

Kim shoved opened the front door and slipped inside the warm house. Quickly closing the door behind her, Kim turned to find Kayla sitting at the kitchen table with her mother. Kayla had Stephanie perched on her lap, while Caroline held Jeannie.

"Mama, Kayla." Kim set her purse on the counter.

"Hi, Kim," Caroline replied, as Kayla gave Kim a soft smile.

Kim walked over, took Jeannie from Caroline, and gave her daughter a kiss. She glanced around. "Where's Andrew?"

"He's downstairs helping your father close up the Market." Caroline apparently caught Kim's worried look as she quickly added, "Don't worry. Mike's down there with them."

Kim relaxed, then joked, "Papa probably has the best security in all of Salem in the shop now." Nobody really laughed, so Kim changed the subject. She looked at Kayla. "I can't believe how big Stephanie is getting."

Kayla smiled and brushed her hand across her daughter's hair. "I know. It always seems to surprise me too - and I see her every day. I realized this morning that she had nearly outgrown the coat I bought her before we went to England."

Kim nodded in agreement as she sat down at the table. "I know what you mean. I tried to put coats on Andrew and Jeannie this morning, and neither one of them had one that fit. This cold spell caught me off-guard, I guess."

"I think it caught everybody off-guard," Caroline chimed in. "Mrs. McDowell was in the Market this afternoon and said that the stores had almost no winter coats in stock. She said she had to go to the mall in Brookville to find one."

"I guess I'm going to have to go over there and get one for Stephanie if this cold snap is going to stick around for a while," Kayla said.

_Me too_, Kim thought to herself. Then she got an idea. "Why don't we go over there tonight?" She looked at Kayla. "It's still early and the stores are open until 9:00pm. If we go tonight, we might still find a few to choose from." _And I can avoid Mama for the evening._

Kayla's eyes appeared to widen in surprise at the invitation. Hesitantly, she said, "I don't know."

"Oh," Kim said, unable to hide her disappointment. "I suppose you need to get home to Steve."

"Actually, I don't," Kayla responded with a shrug. "He . . . uh . . . had something he had to do this evening and he won't be home for awhile."

"Then you should go shopping with Kimmie." Caroline gave Kayla a look. "It will be good for the two of you to do some shopping together - just like when you were kids."

Kim saw Kayla flinch a little at Caroline's remark and knew her sister was thinking the same thing that Kim was - after their fight the other night, a reminder of "when they were kids" was probably not the best encouragement their mother could have given. But Kim figured her mother was right. Having some time together to do something normal, for a change, might do them both some good.

"What do you say, Kay?" Kim asked, giving Kayla an encouraging smile. "Things have been so crazy for so long, it's been forever since we did something as boring as shopping. It would be fun to do it together."

Kayla gave a little chuckle at that. "You're right. A little trip to the mall in Brookville seems attractively unadventurous right now." She gave Kim a warm smile. "And I always love going shopping with my sister. Let's do it."

"Great," Kim said with her own smile. Turning to Caroline, she asked, "Are you okay keeping the kids a little longer?"

"Of course, dear." Caroline grinned broadly at her daughters. "Your father and I will be glad to have some more play-time with our grandchildren."

"Thanks, Mama," Kim said, gratefully, as she handed Jeannie back to Caroline. Kayla put Stephanie down with her toys. Kim watched as Kayla walked to the phone and left a short message for Steve telling him about their plans.

When Kayla was finished, she walked to the door where Kim stood with their purses. Kim had just opened the door when Andrew burst in from downstairs.

"Mommy!" he yelled, barreling into the room.

"Hi, honey," Kim said. She knelt and gave Andrew a hug.

Andrew looked from Kim to Kayla. "Where are you going?"

"Your Aunt Kayla and I are going to do some shopping for new coats for you and Jeannie and Stephanie."

"I wanna go," Andrew said determinedly. "I wanna pick my own coat."

Kim's first instinct was to say "no." The shopping trip would be easier without a five-year-old along, not to mention that there was still the issue of Andrew's safety. But Andrew had been so upset lately, and the move from Shane's house had been yet another upheaval in his life. If he wanted to go shopping with them, Kim did not want to deny him.

Kim glanced at Kayla, who smiled softly and nodded in agreement to Kim's unspoken question. Kim then turned to Mike. "Do you mind tagging along on a shopping trip?"

"Of course not, Ms. Brady," he replied in his usual, neutral tone.

Kim gave Mike a grateful smile and turned back to Andrew. "All right, Andrew. You can come along, but you had better be on your best behavior."

"I will, Mommy," he said with a serious expression. He looked so much like Shane in that moment, it made Kim's heart clinch. _Don't think about him_, she reminded herself.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed Shane from her thoughts and stood up. She helped Andrew into his too small coat, knowing he would remove it as soon as they got in the car, and took his hand. Then she followed Mike out the front door and grinned back at Kayla. "Okay, Kay, let's get this show on the road."


	259. Chapter 259

Just two quick notes before this chapter.

First, hopefully, the next few chapters will begin triggering some more comments. However, in commenting, please consider spoilers. There are some upcoming twists and turns that I would hope people don't give away.

Second, in response to the review from "frustrated," it always is a shame to lose a reader, particularly one who has invested so much time in this story. It is not the intent of the story to "regress" and "distort" the characters in "the most negative way possible." The goal is to try to portray these characters as real people, with flaws, who are struggling with very difficult circumstances. Sometimes they do the right thing. Sometimes they do the wrong thing, albeit usually with the belief they are doing the right thing. They take steps forward and then steps back. And sometimes things get worse before they get better - or something happens to make a character realize his or her mistake. We obviously see the show's canon as it relates to the characters quite differently, but I recognize there is room for disagreement. In any event, thank you for giving the story a shot. I'm sorry that you are giving up.

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_Last night was a mistake._

Shane repeated those words silently as he stared out over the river. The problem was that the more he said them to himself, the less certain he became.

He had thought coming over to the pier would clear his head, but it was just causing his mind to spin even more. He almost wished some of the dock-workers would hassle him like they had the other day, so he had a distraction. However, the few he had seen had given him a wide berth. Now, the sun was setting and most of the men had long since left the area.

"_She must really love you a lot. . . ._"

Mickey's words echoed in his ears. Shane knew Kim loved him, but what did that really mean with everything they were facing? Even if he pled guilty, could she really wait three years for him?

Kim had accused him that morning of doubting she could stay faithful. As much as he tried to deny it, the doubt was there - deep down. He knew Kim. She had always needed a man. Look at how quickly she hooked up with Cal.

"Stop it," he told himself. "You promised to put Cal behind you."

He had, and he was trying. But his focus was not on Cal really, but on Kim. Shane knew her past; she had spent a lifetime feeling that she needed a man in her life to have any self-worth. That was one of the scars Kim's uncle had left with her.

Could she really wait? Or would time and an uncertain future prove too much of an obstacle?

And even if they overcame his time in prison, what would that future be like? Shane had not been kidding when he told her that they would probably be shunned if they returned to England. Could Kim really live a life like that?

"_I don't care what anybody thinks._" That was what she had said. But was it true?

Shane looked out at the darkening harbor and asked, "Why can't I let myself trust her?"

He knew the answer. It went back to the very beginning of their relationship, when they had each kept running into the other's walls. His mind flashed to when he nearly left Salem for that job in Stockholm. He had tried to get Kim to beg him to stay, but she had refused. She accused him of running away and, then, she had pretty much summed him up:

"_You're not afraid of guns, or terrorists, or even of getting yourself killed. But you are so afraid of a commitment._"

That really was what it all boiled down to, wasn't it?

Shane pulled his coat tight as he was blasted by some frigid air off the water. No wonder the dock-workers had left. Until that moment, he had barely noticed the cold.

Kim was right. Shane was afraid of committing. He was afraid of committing and then having everything fall apart again. Like he had told her, he could not spend years in prison clinging to some hope of what they might have, only to have her walk away.

_But what will you have otherwise_? The same prison sentence, but no hope at all. Was that somehow better? Wasn't he saying it would be better to lose all hope just to avoid the possibility of being hurt?

"You're a bloody coward, Shane Donovan," he muttered under his breath.

Kim was so right. Look at him. He had rushed off to Egypt with a bunch of Green Berets and had nearly gotten himself killed. Why? Because he wanted Kayla and Stephanie to be happy again. But when it came to his own happiness - or Kim's and Andrew's - he would not even risk the chance of being hurt.

He was a coward. He was afraid of what Kim could do to him. He thought about the night before and how, as they made love, he had felt like she could see through him. Just the way she looked at him had laid bare his entire being. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying.

But if their love failed again. . . .

A foghorn blew in the distance, interrupting Shane's train of thought. He glanced around the still-empty pier and sighed.

After three years in prison, they would return to Donovan Manor. Simmons would stick with them; his ties to the Donovan family would survive anything. But other than that? Shane doubted his old friends would sully their reputations by associating with a traitor.

_Or are you more concerned about your own reputation_? _Like you'd have any reputation no matter what happens._

Shane stared out into the darkness and asked himself why he was so hung up about pleading guilty. He had been telling himself it was for Andrew, so that his son did not have to live with the stigma of being a traitor's son. It was stupid, really. All Andrew wanted was his father. Besides, it was not like being a murderer's son carried no stigma.

_Let's face it. You're the only one who sees a difference._

Like Mickey said, only a spy would find murder a lesser crime than treason. He laughed at how absurd the thought even was. Or maybe there was more to it. Maybe he was clinging to his own hope of a sort - that if he did not confess, that if he maintained his innocence, someone might see the truth. _Yeah_, he thought, shaking his head at the absurdity of the thought. _That's just a pipe dream_.

He suddenly remembered Andrew asking why Shane did not tell government the law was wrong. How had he responded? That if you believe you're doing the right thing and the law says otherwise, you have to accept the consequences.

Ever since the arrest, he had told people he was doing just that. He had made the decision to rescue Steve and he would not let anyone take the fall for him. He still felt strongly about that, but maybe he also had to accept that law was not on his side. On some of the minor charges, he probably was guilty.

_Maybe it's time to accept that._

Three years. It was a generous deal and then he would be free. Shane tried to picture life in England. Andrew would be eight by then, still with some of his childhood remaining. Shane would have a lot to make up for; he had already missed a year-and-a-half of Andrew's life between Andrew's kidnapping, Shane's capture by Jericho, and Shane's subsequent amnesia. By the time he got out of prison, he would have missed more than half of Andrew's life. Still, that would be better than missing it entirely. He would still have some time to be a father to his son; he and Kim could at least try to make a life together with Andrew.

And with Jeannie.

She would be there too, of course. How would he handle that? He had pledged to put Cal behind him, and Shane knew Jeannie was not at fault for who her father was. Jeannie was just a beautiful little girl and Kim's daughter.

_But not yours._

That did not have to matter. Shane reminded himself that he had let Stephanie steal his heart, and she was not his daughter. He had been willing to accept Andrew when he believed the boy was Victor's son. There was no real reason he could not do the same for Jeannie.

Shane pulled his coat tight again as another blast of cold air hit him. Earlier that morning, he had told Kim there was no chance for them. He had been so afraid of what the night before had meant, so terrified of being hurt again. It was like Kim had said so long ago; he had tried to run away.

_It's time to stop running_, he told himself. _It's time to stop and fight for what you really want._

There was a pay-phone across the pier. Shane walked over to it, picked up the receiver, and dialed. Shane's heart was racing as the phone rang a couple of times. Then, he heard Mickey's voice on the other of the line. Shane took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Mickey, it's Shane. I've made a decision. . . . I want to plead guilty."


	260. Chapter 260

Darkness was coming earlier these days, Kim thought, as they drove down Route 6 toward the mall in Brookville. As they wound their way through the dark roads, she heard Andrew rustling with his too-small jacket.

"It won't be long before you have one that fits," she said, smiling at her son in the rearview mirror. "Are you okay back there, Mike?"

"Yes, ma'am." Mike gave one of his typical two-word responses.

Kayla stared out the window. "Funny, how with all the changes in Salem - the refinery, the new mall and trauma center next year - nobody's tried to clear out the woods here. Remember how we'd come out here during high school."

Kim let out a soft laugh. "Every boy seemed to think he was the first to suggest a drive out to the woods off Route 6."

"Yeah," Kayla snorted. "In school they didn't know the difference between a star and a planet, yet they would all somehow suddenly develop a huge interest in the 'exploring the night sky.'"

"I think they were far more interested in 'exploring' other things," Kim said softly, glancing back to make sure Andrew was not paying too close attention.

Kayla giggled and nodded. She was silent for a moment and Kim glanced over and saw Kayla's expression grow serious. After a moment, Kayla spoke again, her voice far more serious.

"Did I tell you I ran into Charlie Rogers when I was in the capital a few weeks ago?" Kayla asked, never looking at Kim.

Kim started at the mention of Charlie's name. "Uh . . . no," she replied hesitantly. "You didn't mention it. Umm . . . how is he?"

"Fine, I guess." Kayla's words were short. Kim wondered what had prompted Kayla to bring up Charlie after all these years, but now was not the time to delve into the subject, not with Andrew in the back seat. Before she could change the subject, she heard Mike call to her from the backseat.

"Ma'am." Mike sounded like something was wrong.

Kim looked in the rearview mirror and realized what had gotten his attention. A car was coming up on them like a bullet. The bright headlights nearly blinded her. "What's he doing?" Kim muttered.

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked, as she turned in her seat.

The other car did not seem to be slowing down. It was only a few car-lengths behind her now. Kim rolled down her window, ignoring the frigid air that blasted her face, and stuck her arm outside. She waved for the other car to pass.

"What a jerk," Kayla muttered, as the car finally moved into the passing lane.

"That's defin-" Kim was just starting to agree when her words were cut off by a loud crunching sound.

The entire car jolted forward. It started to slide to the right. Kim could barely hold onto the steering wheel.

"What's he doing!" Kayla shouted.

There was another jolt, and Kim fought to keep the car from running off the road. The front end of the other car pressed tight against hers, as if it was trying to muscle her out of the way. She tried to look in the side mirror, but the other car's headlights were only a few feet away, making it impossible to see anything in the reflection.

In the backseat, Andrew screamed. "Mommy!"

Kim accelerated, hoping she could escape. The engine revved and they started to pull away. The other car responded. It sped up, drawing close to the right rear of Kim's car. The other car pulled to the left and then Kim heard its engine rev loudly as it swung back against hers.

The back half of her car fishtailed and the steering wheel broke free from Kim's hands. The car skidded, turning sharply into the path of the attacking car. Somehow, its driver swerved to the right, avoiding contact as Kim's car shot across the road, still spinning from the impact.

She desperately tried to get control of the wheel as Kayla screamed. Andrew was shouting in the back, but Kim tried to focus.

"Watch out!" Kayla yelled.

Kim looked out the window as the car completed a 180-degree turn just as it skidded off the pavement. It's right-side seemed to pitch downward, and she barely managed to register the reason - a storm ditch just off the side of the road.

"Nooo!" Kim cried.

The bottom of the car hit the ground and the car bounced upward. It flew back up and flipped. The metal just above - or below - Kim's head rippled with the force of the impact. She heard someone shriek in pain, as her world dissolved into a spinning, flipping vortex of screams, exploding glass, crunching metal, and jarring blows as the car struck the ground, pitched sideways, and rolled over and over into the darkness.


	261. Chapter 261

A sharp knife seemed to stab Kayla as she tried to regain her bearings. Something wet was running down her face, and she reached up and wiped the side of her head. Her hand came away smeared with blood.

"Kay . . . are you okay?" Kim's voice came from her left side. That was the first noise Kayla recognized after the loud crunching sounds the car made as it flipped off the side of the road. Everything seemed a bit foggy, and she blinked a few times to clear her head.

Kayla tried to choke out an answer. "Yeah." She doubted Kim would believe that.

There was some dim light coming from a still-working headlight and from something on the road. Kayla realized for the first time that she was looking at the road from under the hood of the car to see it. _We're upside down_. Kayla was still strapped in her seat by the seat belt, her head just a few inches off the ground. The car had rolled a long way off the road - so far that she could not see the source of the light from the road.

From the back seat, she heard two sounds - Andrew crying and someone moving. To Kayla's right, Kim had managed to unbuckle her seat belt and was now trying to reach between the seats to help Andrew.

_What happened_? Kayla wondered. _Why did that car-_

An icy wave coursed through her body as she realized something. _The light on the road must be coming from the car that hit us. Whoever tried to kill us is still out there._

Ignoring the stabbing pain, Kayla looked out again through the small gap between the ground and the hood. A lone figure had now come into view and was standing along the edge of the road. He began walking toward the wreckage.

"It's okay, Andrew," Kim whispered, trying to calm the boy.

"No, it's not," Kayla gasped, her words nearly cutting off because of the pain. "He's coming."

She heard a low voice from the back seat. Mike's voice. "Get Andrew free," he ordered. "I'll take care of this."

Kayla looked back to see Mike turning onto his back so his legs faced the door. He had already lowered himself from his seat. He began kicking at the door to force it open.

"Andrew. . . ." Kim said softly. "Mommy's here. Everything's going to be okay. I'm just going to release you from the seat." Kayla heard the click as Andrew was freed.

Kayla looked again out the front and saw that the dark figure was just crossing the ditch. She looked back at Mike, who was still forcing the door open. He had pulled his gun from his shoulder holster.

_What am I doing_? Kayla asked herself, realizing that she was still upside down and buckled into her seat. Wincing with every movement, she put her forearm on the roof of the car to brace herself, unlatched the seat belt, and tumbled shoulder-first onto the ground. She cried out in pain as she hit the roof.

"You're hurt." Kim's attention turned away from Andrew toward Kayla.

Kayla grimaced. "My ribs," was all she could say. Even though she was still a little fuzzy from hitting her head, she could still tell what a broken rib felt like.

"Kay, you're bleeding." Kim pulled her coat, which had been nestled between the front seats, and used the sleeve to wipe Kayla's forehead.

She heard a load crunch as the back door gave way. "There," Mike said. He began to slide out of the wreckage, his gun in hand.

Kayla pushed aside Kim's coat and pressed low to the roof so she could see through the gap between the hood and the ground. The dark figure had crossed about half the distance from the road to the wreckage. It did not seem to be moving with any hurry. Then it raised its arm and Kayla saw a flash followed by a loud crack, and the sound of something landing roughly off to her right.

Kayla followed the noise from the last sound.

_NO_!

In the dim light, Kayla saw Mike lying on the ground. He had landed facing the car and his open eyes stared lifelessly at the wreckage. She did not have to see the pool of blood forming under his head to know he was dead.

"No, no, oh, god, no," Kim breathed, her words coming so close together that Kayla almost could not make them out.

Kayla tried to see where Mike's gun was, but there was no way to reach it. Not before the shooter reached the car. She looked back through the gap at the figure, who, for the first time, stepped into the range of the headlights.

_Oh my god_!

Unable to stop herself, Kayla gasped, whimpering at the pain the jarred through her. She looked at Kim, who had also turned and was now looking, white-faced, at their attacker.

"It . . . It can't be," Kim whispered.

She was right. _He's supposed to be in jail. He's not supposed to be here. _But for whatever reason, he was here. He was here and he was coming to kill them.

Cal Winters was coming to kill them.


	262. Chapter 262

"Thanks Dave, I really appreciate the help." Jack smiled at Steve as he hung up the phone.

"What did you get, Billy Jack?"

"Thanks to my friend at the IRS, I got Nowicki's and Deakins' home addresses." Jack's smile faded a bit. "The bad news is that they both live on the base, so. . . ."

"So getting to see them means going through base security, and you can bet the ISA has already provided my name and picture to base security," Steve finished. "Probably with a 'shoot on sight' order."

Jack nodded. Before he could say anything further, his phone rang again.

"Jack Deveraux," he answered.

Steve listened idly as Jack spoke to yet another contact on the phone. After leaving the meeting with Tarrington, Steve and Jack had returned to Jack's office and mapped out their next moves. Steve knew that his only chance to get some leverage against the ISA was to make contact with the soldiers. But he also knew that any contact he made had to be kept from the ISA's prying eyes. And when the people he was trying to contact lived on a military base. . . .

He had thought about calling Nowicki and Deakins, assuming he could get the phone numbers, but Steve knew that was a last resort. He was sure that Nowicki and Deakins were aware of the charges against Shane and had probably been given very strong and direct orders to keep their mouths shut. If Steve called, there was too much risk that they would just hang up on him and report the call. No, he needed to meet them face-to-face to make sure they would listen to him.

"Thanks for the information," Jack said, signaling the end of another conversation. "If I can ever return the favor, let me know." He hung up the phone and made some quick notes.

"What did you find this time?" Steve asked. It still amazed him that, as much as Jack could be a screw-up, the connections he had established through Harper's political career and the newspaper made him invaluable in the search for information.

"Nothing that good," Jack replied with a shrug. "Just some more background information to add to the file."

"Every little bit helps," Steve said, looking back over his own notes. Over the last few hours, they had managed to compile fairly decent profiles of both men. Deakins' wife was a teacher at the local school. Nowicki had an ex-wife who worked on the base; she was currently married to a supply officer there. Steve suspected there was a rather unpleasant story about that. Unfortunately, despite all the information gathered from various sources, Steve had not yet figured out his way in.

"So what was the background information?" Steve asked.

"Apparently, Deakins' family owns some little wilderness resort in Georgia." Jack shrugged. "The guy I talked to said that they have some kind of big family reunion in the fall every year."

"That must be fun," Steve said with a grin. "They're probably the only people who can understand each other with those accents."

"Come on, Steve," Jack replied. "I know you said he had a thick accent, but it couldn't have been that bad."

"Oh it was bad-" Steve stopped, feeling like he had been hit by a brick. "Wait . . . you said there is a family reunion at the resort every fall?"

"Yeah," Jack said, looking back at his notes.

"So, if Deakins in back in the States this fall, what do you want to bet he'll be attending this year's reunion?" Steve asked, a grin spreading across his face.

"I'd say it's probably pretty good." Jack returned Steve's grin. "That might just be the 'in' you were looking for."

"Maybe," Steve allowed. "But we need to find out when that family reunion might be taking place. And then we need to figure out how to get there without raising any suspicions from our friends."

"Figuring out the week shouldn't be too hard." Jack sat back in his chair. "If it's a big family reunion, then the resort is probably pretty filled up that week. I'll just call and pretend to be interested in holding a family reunion of my own this fall. That should at least tell me what weeks are already booked up."

"That should work." Steve eyed his brother. "You're pretty good at this, you know?"

"I should be," Jack said, grinning. "It's just another form of investigative reporting."

"I guess so." Steve ran a tired hand across his face and checked his watch. It was still fairly early in the evening.

As much as he wanted to call it a day and head home to Kayla and Stephanie, he knew he and Jack needed to keep working for a while longer. The information about the potential family reunion was a good break, but Steve knew that it was no guarantee. He and Jack needed at least one back-up plan and they still needed to find a way to contact Nowicki as well. Steve would just have to make it up to Kayla later.

"Okay, Jack," he said, looking at his brother. "That gives us something useful on Deakins, so let's go to work on Nowicki. What do we have that might help us with him?"

As Jack began digging back through his notes, Steve did the same with his. Silently, he thought, _I hope you are having more fun than I am right now, Sweetness._


	263. Chapter 263

"It can't be," Kim repeated as Cal Winters approached the car.

_Cal's in jail. In Alaska. He can't be here._

She blinked her eyes, thinking it might be a hallucination. Maybe she had hit her head when the car flipped. Then Kim looked again through the gap between the car's hood and the ground.

It _was_ Cal Winters.

Kim's mind reeled. The "how" was replaced in her thoughts, as she frantically thought through the past several weeks. It suddenly all made sense.

Cal had worked for Jericho who had tried to scare her with an attacking car and threatening deliveries. He also could have gotten Shane's keys from Jericho, and Cal had been to the diner in the mountains, so he could have taken Shane's old shirt.

That all added up.

_Andrew_. Whoever had targeted her had tried to kill Andrew.

"Oh, God," Kim breathed, as that, too, began to make sense. Cal wanted her, and he wanted their daughter. He had no need for her _son_.

_Shane's son._

Kim spun back around. She had released Andrew from his seat belt and he was now on the ground, behind Kayla's seat, looking wide-eyed in the direction where Mike had fallen. Kim realized she was still holding her coat in her hands and that gave her an idea.

"Andrew," she said in a low voice, hoping Cal had not gotten close enough to the car to hear her. "I want you to get over by the window and stay still."

"Why, Mommy?" he asked, his eyes still showing his shock.

Kim shook her head. "Don't ask me why. Just do as I say. Get over by the window." As he moved, she cautioned, "Be careful of the glass." Then Kim pushed her coat through the gap between the seats. "Pull this over you and don't make a sound or move."

She helped settle the jacket over him, just as she heard a voice from outside the car.

"Come on out, ladies." Cal's voice was low and dangerous. "Unless you want to wind up like your friend over there."

In a voice no more than a whisper, Kim told Andrew, "Don't move unless you hear me tell you to run." Kim looked out the broken window and spotted the trees at the edge of the woods. They were not too far away. "If you hear me yell, run as fast as you can for the trees. Don't slow down. Don't look back. And even if you hear me call for you or tell you to come out, don't. Stay there and don't come out for anything. Do you understand?"

From under the coat, she heard Andrew whimper. "Yes, Mommy."

"Stay there and don't come out," Kim repeated. "Even if you hear me or Aunt Kayla or . . . or Uncle Cal. Definitely not if you hear Uncle Cal. Okay, Andrew? Uncle Cal's a bad man. He's a very bad man."

Outside, Cal's voice rose a bit louder. "I'm not joking, Kim. If I have to drag you out, I will."

"We'd better go," Kayla said. Kim could hear the pain in her voice.

Kayla took a deep breath. "I'm coming out, Cal. Kayla's been hurt and I'm-"

"Leave her," he yelled. "No," he corrected himself. "Have her come out too."

Kim glanced at her sister, whose face seemed ghostly white except for the red blood still running from the gash on her forehead. Kayla motioned with her head to the back seat. "We'd better do as he says," she whispered.

With a nod, Kim shoved the driver's side door. It stuck and she had to use all her strength to get it to crack open even a little. But her effort worked. Cal came around to that side of the car, the side opposite of where Andrew was hiding, and grabbed the partially opened door. He jerked it open the rest of the way.

Kim crawled out through the door on her hands and knees. She could hear Kayla's pained breathing as she followed close behind.

"That's right, ladies," Cal said. "You wouldn't want to keep me waiting."

As she emerged, Cal grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly to her feet. He was still holding his gun and he motioned to Kayla, who was just coming through the smashed door. "Get her up."

Kim did not argue. She reached down and helped Kayla rise, painfully, to her feet. "She's hurt," Kim said.

"Then maybe I should just kill her now." Cal sounded serious, and Kim looked over to him and saw that he had his gun raised in their direction.

"No!" Kim barked. She stepped in front of Kayla. "You do anything more to hurt Kay and you'll have to kill me." She stared into Cal's eyes, noting how empty they seemed.

"Get over here," he ordered, waiving the gun at them. Staying between Cal and Kayla, Kim reached back and felt Kayla take her hand, and they followed his orders. "Now where's Andrew?" Cal asked.

"He's at our folks," Kayla said quickly. Kim nodded.

Cal stepped forward, the gun still trained on them. "Don't take me for a fool, Kim. I know Andrew left the market with you. You wouldn't have had his guard with you if he didn't."

"I swear," Kim lied. "He's not here."

Cal tsked a few times. "Wrong answer, Kimberly. It's too bad. I might have let him live otherwise."

Kim knew that was not true. She could hear the cold, almost-dead tone in his voice. Kayla squeezed Kim's hand and she stepped forward, so they were next to one another.

Meanwhile, Cal turned away from them and approached the back door of the car. He kicked at Mike's lifeless body, shoving it out of his way. Then Cal crouched down by the door.

Almost without being conscious of it, Kim started to move closer to Cal. Kayla moved with her.

"Ah, I see what you did. Very smart, Kimberly." He looked up at her with a cheshire-cat grin. "I always loved smart women." The grin disappeared. "Unfortunately, not smart enough."

Kim felt her entire body constrict as she watched Cal raise his gun again and point it through the doorway. _No_! she cried silently to herself. Then, she found her voice and screamed as loud as she could.

"RUN, ANDREW. RUN!"


	264. Chapter 264

As Kim's scream echoed through the night, Kayla dove forward. She ignored the knifing pain in her side and jumped on Cal. She grabbed at his arm, trying to knock the gun free.

A loud explosion nearly deafened her. _The gun_. _It's gone off._

"Get off!" Cal yelled, shoving at her, but Kayla held on tight. Someone else was next to her. Kim. She was also fighting to knock the gun loose and still screaming for Andrew to run.

Something hard struck Kayla in the side of the head and she fell sideways, losing her grip. Her vision clouded over and she heard some more sounds of a struggle. When she managed to see again, she looked up just as Kim fell to the ground beside her.

"Where's that brat?" Cal growled as he spun back to the car. He was on his feet, looking into the distance. Kayla saw his lips curl into a cruel smile as he raised the gun again. "Fast kid," he said. "But not fast enough."

Kayla rushed forward again, this time grabbing at Cal's leg. She hit him just as he fired.

"Dammit!" he shouted. He kicked his foot, trying to pull it free of Kayla's grip. He jerked away and swung his head back around at the woods. After a minute, he angrily grabbed Kayla by the arm and pulled her to her feet.

She screamed in pain as the knife once again lanced through her side.

"You're going to pay for that, bitch," Cal said. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pressed the gun barrel against her cheek. "I could kill you right now."

"Don't, Cal!" That was Kim talking. She had risen to her feet. "You hurt Kayla more, and you might as well kill us both."

"Call the kid back," Cal told her.

Kim shook her head. "He won't come. I told him not to come out under any circumstances."

"Call him!" Cal yelled.

In an even voice, Kim said, "Okay. But he won't come out." She turned toward the trees and called out for her son. "Andrew, it's Mommy. It's okay. You can come out now." Kayla could hear the way Kim's voice shuddered as she said those words. She also could hear Cal's rapid breathing in her ear and felt the cold metal still pressing against her cheek.

There was no response to Kim's call and Kayla saw no movement by the trees.

"See," Kim said. "I told you."

"Hey, Big Stuff!" Cal yelled, using his old nickname for Andrew. "It's Uncle Cal. Come on out now. Hide-and-seek's over."

That got no response either. Cal's grip on Kayla's shoulder tightened. She could feel him shaking with rage.

"Lower the gun, Cal," Kim said. "You have us and we'll do whatever . . . whatever you want."

From right next to her ear, Kayle heard Cal speak. Her breath caught in her throat as he said, "I'll kill her. I don't need her." The gun slid from her cheek to her temple.

"Don't do it," Kim replied. "I know what you want. You want me to come willingly. I'll never do that if you hurt my sister. Kayla's my best friend, and I could never be with a man who hurt her."

_He's going to kill me_, Kayla thought. She tried to take a deep breath, but her chest was too tight. Then she closed her eyes. Kayla did not want to see Kim's face when it happened. At least with the gun so close, it would be over in a fraction of a second. Kayla would feel no pain.

"Kim," she said. "Tell Steve . . . and Stephanie-"

"Stop it!" Kim shouted. "Cal's not going to do anything. I'm warning you, Cal. Lower the gun."

For a moment, everything was silent. Nobody moved.

Then Cal let go and shoved Kayla forward. She stumbled and fell to her knees. An instant later, she felt Kim's arms wrap around her.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked.

Kayla could only nod, though she was far from okay. Her entire body screamed in pain.

Behind her, Cal spoke. "Get up."

As Kim helped Kayla rise to her feet, she asked, between painful breaths, "What are you going to do with us?"

"You?" Cal asked, as Kayla turned around. "You're just lucky to be alive." He motioned in the direction of the road. "Come on. We've got to get out of here before anyone comes looking."

Kim started to lead Kayla back toward the road. They both jumped as they heard another shot, and they swung their heads back around. Both breathed a sigh of relief as they saw Cal standing next to the car. He had only shot out the remaining headlight.

With most of Kayla's weight on Kim, they slowly staggered to the road. Cal grabbed Kayla when they reached the storm ditch and dragged her to the other side. Kim walked beside them.

Once they were back on the road, Cal opened the back door of his car and pushed Kayla onto the seat. Then he reached into the front seat and pulled out a length of rope. He motioned to Kim. "Tie her hands."

Kim gave Kayla an apologetic look as she followed orders. She wrapped the rope around Kayla's wrists and was beginning to knot the rope when Cal stepped forward. He grabbed the rope and wrenched it tight.

"Just in case you were to have any ideas." He quickly tied the ends tight and shoved Kayla across the car, so roughly that the pain from her injuries caused the entire world to blur and spin. But she fought against it. She could not leave Kim alone. She needed to stay conscious and alert.

Looking back outside, she saw Cal tying Kim's hands just as tightly. When he finished, he pushed her into the back seat, though a lot more gently than he had Kayla. He closed the door and walked around to the driver's side.

"Kim . . . where's he taking us?" Kayla asked.

Kim shook her head and stared ahead, grimly. "I don't know, Kay."

"What about Andrew?" Kayla whispered. He was out in the woods, alone in the cold and the dark.

From the front seat, Cal laughed as he sat down. "I wouldn't worry about him anymore. The temperature's going to drop into the 30's tonight. A little kid all alone in the freezing cold. . . ." Cal started the car, put it in gear, and began driving back down Route 6. "The little brat's as good as dead."


	265. Chapter 265

Shane pulled his car to a stop in front of the fish market and took a deep breath. This was the right thing to do, he told himself. Nonetheless, he hesitated momentarily. Maybe he should have called from the house before coming over here.

But that would have given Kim an opportunity to hang up. It was a lot harder to refuse to listen when you were face-to-face. If he could look her in the eyes and tell her what he wanted, Shane knew she would not turn away.

And he needed to talk to her desperately. After he had called Mickey earlier, he had gone home and walked around the nearly-empty mansion. It all felt completely wrong. That was Andrew's home. That was _their_ home.

_I just have to convince Kim of that._

He glanced at the clock, which read a little after 8 p.m. Kim would probably just be putting Andrew to bed, or more likely, staving off his efforts to stay up just a little longer. Shane smiled as he pictured the scene, and decided he would help Kim tuck in their son.

Getting out of the car, he pulled his coat tightly around himself. The night was getting increasingly cold. The temperature had dropped a lot even since he had been on the pier. Passing the dark windows of the fish market, Shane climbed the stairs to the Bradys' house and rang the bell.

A few minutes later, Shawn answered the door. He glared at Shane. "What do you want?"

Shane swallowed hard. He did not want to have a confrontation with Kim's father, so politely, Shane said,"Shawn, I'd like to speak with Kimberly."

"You're not welcome in this house," Shawn said, his voice little more than a surly growl. "Go away."

"Shawn . . . please . . . If you just let me in to talk to Kim, please. I don't mean any harm."

From inside the house, Caroline called out, sounding exasperated. "Shawn, just let him in."

With a loud harrumph, Shawn stepped aside and let Shane enter. He glanced around the living room and kitchen. Caroline was on the floor playing with Stephanie and Jeannie.

"Kim isn't here, Shane," Caroline said. "She and Kayla went shopping after work."

"Oh." Shane felt his heart sink at the disappointing news. "Well . . . would it be okay if I spent a little time with Andrew and maybe she'll be back soon?" The local stores were all closing around now.

"They went to the mall by Brookville," Caroline said. "And they took Andrew with him."

_"_What?" Shane could not believe that. _Of all the reckless-_

"Mike went with them," Caroline said, seeing Shane's reaction. "I'm sure they're fine."

Shane debated getting in his car and driving to Brookville, but that would be pointless. By the time he got there, they would be on their way home. He looked back at Caroline. "Would you mind if I waited?"

"Yeah, we do mind," Shawn barked. "Kimmie was a wreck this morning, no doubt because of you."

Shane had to concede that. "I know," he said. "I did something I shouldn't have this morning, but that's why I'm here. I need to apologize and make things right."

"Make things right." Shawn's eyes narrowed, and Shane knew what the man was thinking.

Slowly, Shane said, "Yes, Shawn, I want to make it right."

The room was silent as Shawn and Caroline exchanged looks with one another. Neither said a word.

"Fine," Shane said. "I'll just wait in my car until Kim returns."

As he started for the door, Caroline stood up and grabbed his arm. "Oh, don't be silly. It's near-freezing outside."

With a half-snarl and a scowl, Shawn headed for the back of the house. Shane watched him go, then shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and stood there. He had no idea what to say to Caroline right now, so he walked over to the couch and took a seat, as Caroline returned her attention to the girls.

Shane watched them for a little while. Stephanie was almost perfectly steady as she walked around the room. Jeannie crawled after her cousin, but Caroline distracted her with a pink stuffed animal. He watched Jeannie as she looked at the doll with her big green eyes. So like Kimberly's eyes.

_Lucky girl_, Shane thought. _You're going to look a lot like Kim_. In the back of his mind, he added, _And nothing like Cal._

"Shane?"

He looked over to Caroline and realized she must have asked him something. "I'm sorry, Caroline . . . I was lost in my thoughts." He caught her slight frown.

"Will you tell me what happened between you and Kimmie?" Caroline asked. "Shawn was telling the truth. She was a wreck, but she wouldn't say anything to us. She just told us that she needed to move back in with the kids."

Shane sat silently, trying to figure out what to say. "I think it's better that I just wait and talk with Kim," he finally said. "There's too much to explain, Caroline."

Caroline studied him for a minute, but seemed to accept that answer. She then said, "Kimmie's been through a lot these past few years. She's been hurt enough, and I want you to think about it before you do anything that might hurt her again."

"I wish it were that easy," Shane replied. "The last thing I want to do is hurt Kim. . . ."

"You just don't think you can help it," Caroline said, with a knowing look.

_Was it that obvious_? Shane looked over at her. "Has she told you about the plea deal I was offered?" When Caroline nodded, he continued. "Kim's offered to move to England with the children when I get out. It would mean giving up her career, moving away from the family, and living . . . well, it won't exactly be easy living with a traitor."

"I can't say I'd be happy with Kimmie moving that far away, but I only want what's going to make her happy." Caroline smiled softly. "And I never saw her happier than when she fell in love with you. I know a lot of things have happened since then, but I think, despite everything that's happened and still might happen, you could make her happy like that again."

Shane did not know what to say, so he just looked away and let that sink in for a few minutes.

"Oh!" Caroline got up, pulling Stephanie with her. "This one needs a diaper change." She glanced, hesitantly, at Jeannie. "Um, Shane . . . do you mind?"

"No, it's okay," Shane said. "Go ahead."

As Caroline walked into the back, he slid off the couch so he was seated on the floor with Jeannie. She paid him no attention at first, so intent she was on her pink bunny, but then she crawled in his direction, pushing the stuffed animal in front of her.

"I get the hint." Shane chuckled and picked up the toy. He waved the bunny in front of Jeannie and made some silly noises until she began to laugh. "Come here, sweetheart," he said, picking her up and pulling her onto his lap. She watched the bunny some more, then looked up at him with her big green eyes.

_You should've been my little girl_.

He shunted that thought aside and went back to playing. _Forget about the past._ _Forget about Cal._

"Shane?"

He jerked his head around to see Caroline standing a few feet behind him. She was frowning.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She did not answer, but seemed focused on something on the far wall. Shane followed her gaze and realized she was looking at a clock. It was a little after 10 p.m. He had completely lost track of time while playing with Jeannie.

"The mall closes at nine," Caroline said. "They should have been back by now."

Shane tried to convince himself not to panic. "Could they have stopped somewhere? Maybe to grab a bite to eat?"

"Not with Andrew. It's way past his bedtime already." Caroline looked at him, the worry plain on her face. "You don't think-"

"Let's not panic," Shane said. He stood, still holding Jeannie, and passed her to her grandmother. Then he walked over to the phone and began to dial the Salem PD. He stopped after punching the fourth button. He was an accused criminal awaiting trial. The local cops would hardly respond to his demand for assistance. Shane hung up, then picked the handset up again, and dialed Roman's house. Roman answered on the third ring.

"Tell me that again," Roman said, after Shane filled him in.

Shane repeated, "Kim and Kayla went to the Brookville Mall with Andrew. They should've been back by now. I know it's a bit early to worry-"

"But given everything going on, you've got every right to," Roman said. "I'll call the station and put out an APB. You want me to call Steve?"

Shane almost said yes, but changed his mind. "No, I'll call him. Let me know if you hear anything."

Hanging up the phone, Shane again tried to tell himself not to worry. They just got delayed in Brookville. Or maybe they had some car trouble. Besides, Mike was with them.

None of that lessened his unease.

And the last thing he was going to do was just wait at Shawn's and Caroline's while the Salem PD ran around in circles. He picked up the phone and dialed Steve and Kayla's apartment. When Steve answered, Shane just said, "It's Shane. Meet me outside your place in five minutes. Kim and Kayla are missing."

Before Steve could respond, Shane hung up, turned to Caroline, and asked, "Where do you keep your flashlights?"


	266. Chapter 266

Steve stood in the cold waiting for Shane to arrive. He had arrived home about an hour earlier and had been disappointed to hear Kayla's message about the shopping trip. His disappointment had grown to concern as it grew later and he had been about to call Caroline when Shane had called him. Now, Steve was in barely contained, panic mode.

Just as he was about to jump out of his skin, he saw Shane's car pull into the parking lot. As Shane pulled to a stop, Steve opened the door and climbed in.

"What the hell do you mean they're missing?" Steve yelled as soon as he was inside. "What happened?"

Shane said nothing and shoved something into Steve's hand. He looked down and saw that the object was a flashlight.

"I drive; you look," Shane said, putting the car back in gear and tearing into the street.

Steve felt a chill run through him. Whatever was going on, Shane was not kidding. Steve turned the flashlight over in his hands before asking, "Will you tell me what's going on? Kayla left a message that she and Kim were going shopping, but that's all I know."

"It wasn't just Kayla and Kim, Steve." Shane took a deep breath. "They took Andrew and Mike and went to Brookville." Shane turned right, as the car sped toward the outskirts of town. "They should have been home about an hour ago. Do I need to connect the dots for you?"

The chill turned icy cold. Kayla could be missing. If Andrew was with them. . . . Steve tried not to think about that. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stay calm and looked out the window, "Why aren't we taking the highway?"

"The Brookville mall's closer to Route 6," Shane explained. "Caroline said that's the way they always go."

Steve's heart sank as he thought of the long stretch of lonely highway along Route 6. He could not believe Kim and Kayla took Andrew shopping while some maniac was threatening his life? Steve did not care if Andrew's bodyguard was with them. He could not believe how foolish that was. And how could Shane have let Kim take Andrew?

"Why didn't you stop them?" Steve asked angrily.

Shane hesitated before answering. "I didn't know." Another pause. "Kim moved out this morning."

Now Steve got the picture. This was probably Kim's way of asserting her independence after whatever happened with Shane. Steve started to say something harsh, but stopped. _It's not just Kim; his kid's in danger._ Something told Steve that Shane was probably kicking himself a lot harder than Steve could.

"We'll find them," Steve said. "They probably just had car trouble and are just waiting for somebody to come looking for them." _Please let that be all that it is._

Shane pulled the car onto Route 6. Five minutes later, they passed the boundary of Salem and headed down the dark road.

_This would be a good place for an ambush_, Steve thought. Shane turned on the brights and opened his window. Driving with one hand on the wheel, he shone his flashlight toward the side of the road. Steve did the same, getting blasted in the face by the cold air in the process. The car was only moving about 25 miles-per-hour, so they could get a decent look.

There was just nothing. Unfortunately, deep inside, Steve felt certain that there was something out there for them to find.

They drove past a number of farms and then drove into the area where Route 6 was surrounded by the Saybrook Woods. Steve pulled his jacket collar tighter to ward off the cold, as they continued toward Brookville.

Steve was about to ask if Caroline really knew how Kim would have driven to the mall when Shane slowed the car.

"Look there."

Steve turned his attention from the side of the road and looked forward. "That's a lot of glass," he said, his stomach sinking. There was too much glass on the road to be from a broken bottle. As they continued forward, now just inching forward, they saw something red and crushed.

"Tail light," Shane said. There was more debris as they continued forward. Some metal, maybe from a bumper. More crushed plastic - this time, clear - probably from a headlight.

They both saw the skid marks at the same time.

Steve's eyes followed the trail, which led across the opposing traffic lane. Shane must have seen the marks too, because he sped up and then made a U-turn, so Steve could get a better look out his side of the car. Steve almost wished their positions were reversed.

"My god," was all Steve could manage as his light reflected on a trail of metal that ran across the storm ditch. The car immediately came to a stop. Steve raised the beam; it was not that strong, but he could see that the car parts continued beyond the reach of the flashlight.

He and Shane were out of the car in an instant. Steve ignored the cold as he raced across the storm ditch and followed the trail. It took only a minute before he saw the wreckage of the car.

"Kayla!" he cried.

The car was nearly unrecognizable. It had flipped over and was lying upside down. The roof looked like it had caved in a bit. All the windows were broken, and metal and glass were strewn across the wet grass.

Steve neared the wreckage and began waving his light frantically. The beam flew about, showing no sign of anyone inside. He ran to the open door on the driver's seat, crouched down, and flashed the light inside. There was no sight of anyone, but his breath caught in his chest.

_That's Kayla's purse_. He recognized it immediately and looked around desperately. _Oh, baby, where are you?_

"Steve."

Shane's voice sounded bizarrely calm, but the tone made Steve freeze again. Hesitantly, he turned to where Shane was standing, just on the opposite side of the open back door. Steve stood and peered around the door, at the ground where Shane was looking.

"Mike," Shane said, his voice tinged with disbelief, as they both stared at the bodyguard's lifeless body

"Dammit!" Steve yelled, unable to hold back is anger. "Son of a bitch!" he yelled again. He turned and looked into the darkness, hoping for some sign of movement.

"Kayla!"

There was no response. _Where is she_? Steve felt the panic and rage building as he paced around the car. _I'm going to kill whoever did this._

"Stop it," Shane said, from where he was crouched next to Mike's body.

Steve's anger flared even more strongly. "I'm not going to stop it," he shouted. "They-" _He_? _She_? "They took Kayla. How can you just act like it's nothing?"

Shane jumped to his feet and grabbed Steve. "I'm not," he said. "But we've got to keep our heads. Their lives may depend on it . . . just like they may depend on us preserving evidence. You keep stomping around, who knows what clues we might lose."

Abashed, Steve looked down for a moment and then nodded. Shane was right. But it was damn hard to keep his head when his wife had disappeared.

"Okay," Shane said. "Why don't you go around to the other side and see what you can find?"

Still struggling to contain his anger and panic, Steve went around to the other side of the car and began searching for clues. Ignoring pieces of glass that cut at his jeans, Steve got down on his hands and knees and aimed his flashlight through the passenger side window.

Steve's breathing sped up and his emotions threatened to overtake him again. The roof directly under the passenger seat was dark with some kind of liquid. _Please be coffee_, he begged silently. _Please_! Dreading what he would find, Steve reached out and touched the liquid. It was sticky and when he pulled his fingers back into the light, he saw that they were red.

"There's . . . blood over here," Steve forced himself to say. He could hear his voice quiver. He knew exactly who would have been sitting in that seat.

Shane's light flashed from the other side of the car. He spoke in a grim voice. "Mike's body is cold. This didn't just happen." Steve barely heard him. His mind was running through all the things that might have caused Kayla to bleed like that. He was still focused on that when Shane turned his light away.

"No!" Shane said, sharply, and his light moved rapidly around to the back seat.

That got Steve's attention. "What it is?"

"There's a shell casing . . . right by the back-" Shane's words cut off, his voice breaking.

_By the back_? Then Steve realized what Shane meant. Andrew would have been in the back seat.

Hesitantly, almost fearful, Shane asked, "Steve . . . can you check the backseat?"

Steve immediately saw why. A woman's coat looked like it was covering something. In the light, Steve saw that the jacket's sleeve was dark from blood.

_It can't be him_, Steve said to himself. His heart was pounding so loud, and the icy cold he felt inside his body felt far colder than the air outside. Slowly, Steve reached for the jacket, took a quick breath, and jerked it away.

_Thank god_, he said silently as his light settled on another jacket, this one obviously belonging to a child. He heard Shane say something, but could not make out the words. Then Shane pulled his flashlight back and began scouring the ground on the other side of the car.

Steve could not move. He looked at the blood on the jacket sleeve and then looked at the pool of blood in the front. _She's hurt. Kayla's hurt and I don't know where she is_. He was losing the battle again.

"Where the bloody hell are they?"

Shane's voice cut through Steve's fugue and he stood so he could see the other side of the car. Shane was moving around, waving his flashlight over the ground.

"Where are they?" Shane said to himself. "Blazes, where are they?"

"Where are what?" Steve asked, not wanting to know the answer.

Shane stopped looking at the ground and turned back to Steve. "I've got three sets of footprints. One I'd say is a man's, and the other two are almost certainly women's shoes. But no child's prints." He looked back down, and slowly said, his voice full of trepidation, "There's another shell casing. . . . It's . . . too close to be the one that killed Mike."

The cold raced again through Steve. _They shot at Andrew._ The thought rushed through his head, but it barely registered. _They have Kayla. They shot at a little boy and they have my wife._

_Stop it_! he yelled silently. Steve was not helping anything anyone, least of all Kayla, by losing control. _Look for clues_.

Another thought dawned on Steve, and he shone his flashlight around the back door on his side of the car. Just outside where the jackets had been was a lot of shattered glass. The window had broken; it was big enough for a child to slide through.

Still waving the light, Steve saw what he was looking for. His beam of light had settled on some small footprints. They seemed to head off toward the woods.

"I've got them here," he shouted, turning his light in the direction of the trail. He started to follow the footprints, but Shane grabbed him.

"What?" Steve said.

"I need you to go back to the car and call Roman," Shane said, his voice still absurdly calm. "We need units for a search. Scofield has a search dog. Tell Roman to get it out here."

Steve almost argued and told Shane to go make the call. _I'm not going anywhere_. But then he stopped. Shane was right. _It's his kid out there. _If their positions were reversed, and it was Stephanie missing, an army could not have stopped Steve from rushing into the woods. Steve nodded. "Okay, dude. But I'm coming right back. We're gonna find him, Shane."

"Just go make the call," Shane said. He turned his light toward the footprints and started toward the trees.

_We're gonna find them_, Steve thought. _And then I'm going to kill whoever did this. _With that thought, Steve let out a deep breath and began sprinting toward the road. _We're going to find them._


	267. Chapter 267

Kayla stared out the window of Cal's car and willed herself to pay attention to her surroundings. The dark night made it almost impossible to see anything, but she forced herself to try. At least, it kept her mind focused on something other than the fear that was threatening to overtake her.

Once they had been forced into Cal's car and tied up, Cal had driven off with a warning to them both to remain quiet. Kim and Kayla had shared a look and silently agreed that the best course of action was to comply for now.

After driving a few miles more down Route 6, Cal had turned off the highway onto a back country road. After that, he curled back around to Salem and they started to near the city limits. But just before they got there, Cal had slowed the car and turned again. Kayla let out a gasp in pain as the car jolted over a bumpy, probably dirt or gravel, road. She could feel each bump in her injured ribs and was sure the accident had cracked at least a couple of them.

Looking at Kim, she saw the concern at Kim's face. "Are you okay?" Kim mouthed silently.

Kayla nodded, biting her lip to keep from crying out again as the car continued down the bumpy road. The last thing Kim needs to worry about is me, she thought. She prayed that someone had found the car wreckage and Andrew, even as the bumps caused more pain to wrack her body. Finally, just as Kayla was sure she could not stand the pain any longer, the car came to a stop.

Any relief Kayla felt at being off the bumpy road was quickly replaced by a stark fear. She may not have know exactly where they were, but she was certain that they were out in the middle of nowhere. _Why would Cal stop here_? Only one reason came to mind. _He's going to kill me._

Just as she acknowledged that reality, her door swung open and Cal grabbed her arm, pulling her roughly from the car. Again, Kayla could not hold back a cry of pain.

"Kayla!" Kim cried out. Out of the corner of her eye, Kayla could see Kim struggling in an attempt to get out of the car. "Cal, don't hurt her!"

Cal pulled Kayla in front of him and she could see that he had his gun in his other hand. Turning to Kim, he snapped, "If you want your precious sister to stay safe, then you'd better stay right there and don't move another inch." Before Kim could respond, Cal slammed the door shut again, leaving Kim locked inside.

"What . . . what are you going to do, Cal?" Kayla asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice.

"You'll find out soon enough." Cal chucked harshly. "Now just shut up if you know what's good for you."

Kayla tried to concentrate on keeping her balance as Cal pulled her roughly along a small dirt path. They had not gone far when Kayla saw a dark object suddenly appear in a front of them. As they walked closer, Kayla finally saw that it looked like another car covered in a tarp.

Despite the sharp pain in her side, she breathed a sigh of relief as Cal pulled the tarp away and opened the back door. Without a word, he roughly pushed her inside the vehicle, ignoring the gasp of pain she could not hold back. Pointing the gun at her, he said, "Don't even think about moving or I'll make sure you never see Kim or anyone again." Then he slammed the door shut and quickly disappeared in the darkness.

As soon as he was gone, Kayla tried the door latch, but, as with the other vehicle, it seemed that Cal had modified the car to make sure the back doors could only be opened from the outside. She contemplated trying to climb into the front seat, but she knew that with her injured ribs and tied hands, it would be almost impossible to get into the front seat and out the door before Cal returned with Kim. As much as she wanted to escape, she knew she had to keep her wits about her.

Suddenly, Cal and Kim appeared beside the car and the door opened again. Cal told Kim to get in. Kayla noticed that he made an effort to help Kim sit down, nothing like the rough shove Kayla had received. When Kim was seated inside, Cal closed the door and climbed into the driver's seat. Driving slowly, he pulled out of the clearing and back onto the dirt road.

Kayla again concentrated on holding herself as still as possible as the car bounced over the old dirt road and then finally reached a smoother surface. She tried to figure out where they were, but she had no way of knowing for sure. All she knew was that Cal was staying on the back roads and making frequent turns.

_So we can't tell anyone where he's taken us._

Realizing that any attempt to figure out where they were now was fruitless, Kayla turned away from the window and looked at Kim. Her sister was staring out the window as well, but Kayla could see the tears trickling down her cheek. Kayla knew that Kim had to be scared to death for Andrew. She wished there were some way she could comfort her sister and again prayed that her nephew had been found.

As if feeling Kayla's look, Kim turned away from the window and looked at Kayla. "He's going to be okay," Kayla silently mouthed, reading Kim's thoughts. Kim nodded slightly and tried to smile, but the fear never left her eyes and fresh tears fell down her cheeks.

Turning back to the window, Kayla tried to keep her own tears in check. She kept thinking of Stephanie and the smile she had given when Kayla had arrived at the Brady house that afternoon. _Will I ever see that smile again_? Kayla tried to push that thought away, but somehow it kept returning.

They drove in silence for what felt like hours and, then, finally Kayla began to see signs of civilization - homes, other cars on the road, and bright lights in the distance.

_Are we headed back into Salem_? she asked herself silently. She could not tell. Maybe it was Brookville. Or one of the other towns in the area. Kayla had no real clue.

The lights grew closer, and she saw some lights and a few planes along the side of the road. For a moment, she wondered if they were at the airport and felt a brief sense of hopefulness. There was no way Cal could get her and Kim on a plane without being caught.

But that hope was quickly dashed as she realized, from the surroundings she could see, that they were not at Salem International.

"Put your heads down and don't look out the window," Cal ordered. He pointed his gun at them as the car turned. Kayla glanced at Kim, who nodded. She was probably right. They should follow Cal's orders for now.

From where she ducked her head, Kayla could not see out the window, but she could peak between the front seats at Cal. He brought the car to a stop and rolled down his window. He reached out and Kayla heard some beeping sounds and then a whirring noise.

_He must be opening a gate_, she thought. There were a lot of lights around the car now, but, with her head down, Kayla could not see where they were. She heard very few sounds, but that was not surprising. She had no idea what time it was, but it to be several hours since their ordeal had begun.

The car began to move again, slowly. After a few more minutes, the car stopped. Kayla watched as Cal pulled a object from his pocket and pushed a button. There was another loud noise, this time the sound of grinding gears, and then the car moved forward again.

"You can get up now," Cal said.

Kayla rose and looked around. They were in an airplane hangar, she realized, as Cal parked the car next to a small, private plane. He pushed the button again and, behind her, the large, overhead hangar door began to shut.

Once it was closed, Cal got out of the car. Holding his gun in his hand, he opened the back door and pulled out Kayla, then Kim. Grabbing Kayla's arm, he jabbed the barrel of the gun in her ribs, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Walk slowly towards the door back here," he told Kim harshly. "And remember I've got a gun in little sister's ribs."

Kim nodded and began walking to the door Cal had indicated. As she followed, Kayla used her peripheral vision to look around as much as possible. This part of the hanger was just one big room. It appeared that the only entrance was the huge overhead door they had just come through. The only objects inside were the plane and the car and something that looked like toolboxes up against the wall on the other side of the plane.

Reaching the door, Kim stopped while Cal pulled out a key and unlocked the door. Using his gun, Cal motioned Kim to take the lead and roughly shoved Kayla to follow.

They were in a hallway lit by fluorescent lights. At the end, there was some open room, but there were two doors opposite one another in the hallway. They came to a stop between them, and Kayla looked through the window of the door on the right. It looked like some kind of break room or small kitchenette.

Cal pulled out a key and unlocked the other door. When it opened, he shoved Kayla inside. The force of the shove caused Kayla to lose her balance and fall. With her hands tied behind her back, she was unable to break her fall and took the brunt of the impact on her arm and wounded side. The pain took Kayla's breath away and she could feel herself nearly lose consciousness.

"Kayla!"

Kayla could hear Kim calling her name, but it sounded far away. Taking a deep breath despite the pain in her ribs, she opened her eyes and forced herself to focus. Kim was kneeling beside her.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked softly.

"She's fine." Cal said sharply, staring at Kim.

"She's not fine," Kim snapped at Cal. "She's hurt." Turning back to Kayla, Kim repeated her question, "Are you okay, Kay?"

Kayla nodded and tried to shift to a sitting position, but it was impossible with her hands tied behind her back.

"We've done what you said," Kim said, turning to Cal. "Will you at least untie our hands now?"

Cal stared at Kim for a moment, the shrugged and pulled a knife from his pocket. Without a word, he cut the rope around Kayla's wrists and then Kim's. As soon as she was free, Kim helped Kayla up off the floor.

"Enjoy your new home . . . at least for now." Cal motioned around the room, still holding the knife. Glancing around, Kayla saw that the room was bare, except for a small desk and roll-away cot in the corner. She could also see a small bathroom adjoining the room. The door had been removed.

"I'm going to leave you two alone now, but don't bother trying to get out. The door's locked and I have the only key. And even if you managed to get out the door, you'll never make it out of this hanger before I find out. And then I will be very angry. You don't want to see what I might do if I get angry." Cal stared hard to Kim and then Kayla. "Is that understood?"

Kayla started to speak, wanting to ask what Cal was going to do with them. But, before she could, Kim grabbed her arm and nodded at Cal. "We understand. Don't we, Kayla?" Catching the warning in Kim's eyes, Kayla gave a sharp nod and remained silent.

"Good," Cal said evenly, turning to leave.

"Wait," Kim called quickly. "Kayla has a nasty cut on her head." Kim's voice was soft and compliant. "Can you at least give us some first aid supplies so I can take care of it?"

Cal stood quietly for a moment, seeming to contemplate Kim's question. Then he shook his head and said, "I don't think it's that bad. Besides, it doesn't really matter anyway." Without another word, Cal walked out of the room and locked the door behind him.

As soon as the door was closed, Kayla turned to Kim, no longer able to hold back her tears. Kim quickly gathered Kayla in her arms and led her to the small cot in the corner. Sitting down together, Kim softly stroked Kayla's hair as Kayla gathered herself again.

"Where else are you hurt?" Kim asked, looking Kayla over.

"Just my ribs. I think I cracked a couple during the crash." Kayla gingerly fingered her rib cage. She could not feel any breaks.

"What can I do to help you?" Kim's asked.

"There's nothing to do for them," Kayla replied. "They'll just have to heal." Pulling away a bit, Kayla looked Kim over. "How about you? Are you okay?"

"Just some bumps and bruises." Kim gave Kayla an encouraging grin. "Nothing I can't handle." She hesitated. "I'm just terrified for Andrew."

"I know," Kayla said softly, this time pulling Kim to her. "But he's a strong little boy and you know that Steve and Shane will find him."

Kim nodded. "They have to know we are missing by now, right? And Mama knew we were going to Brookville, so they would know where to look."

"Right," Kayla said. "Once we were a little late, I'm sure they started the search. I bet Andrew is safe and warm at home right now."

"I'm sure you're right," Kim replied, sounding as if she were trying to convince herself as much as Kayla. "And now Steve, Shane, and our brothers are pulling out all the stops to find us. It's just a matter of time."

Kayla nodded, but did not speak. She knew Kim was right and that Steve, Shane, Roman, Bo, and most of the Salem PD were probably looking for them by now. She and Kim just had to hang in there until they could figure out how to get out of there or they were found. _And before Cal decides to fly Kim away from here._ . . . Kayla had no illusions of what would happen to her when Cal decided it was time to leave.

As she tried to keep that thought from her mind, Kayla felt Kim's arm slip around her shoulders and Kayla leaned into her sister and put her arm around Kim's waist. Together, they sat in silence, each trying to give each other the strength to face whatever might come next.


	268. Chapter 268

"Andrew!"

Shane yelled his son's name and waited for a response, but the night remained silent except for the sound of the trees swaying in the wind. He tried to stop himself from thinking about why Andrew was not responding, as he began once again to follow the small footprints along the grassy expanse between the car and the trees. With each step, he had to force himself not to think about what he might come across at any moment.

_Andrew . . . Please. . . ._

Internally, he was fighting not to panic completely. His heart was pounding hard against his constricted chest. But Andrew needed him to stay calm, to think. Somehow, his training won out, even if his control over his emotions was tenuous.

Andrew's footprints continued through the grass. Shane was nearing the trees, and he let loose a sigh of relief. So far, he had seen no signs of Andrew falling or any blood.

Still, the thought that Andrew had avoided being shot did not entirely allay Shane's fears. The skid marks on the road showing Kim's car had been attacked on its way to Brookville, not on the return, plus the condition of Mike's body, told Shane that the attack had occurred much earlier in the night. And Andrew's jacket was still in the car. How long had the boy been out in this freezing cold?

"Andrew!" he yelled again.

Shane stopped and waited again, praying for a response. Nothing.

_He's okay_, Shane told himself. _He's got to be okay. Please let him be okay._

To forestall the panic, Shane forced himself to take a deep breath. Shining the light, he saw the footprints continue until they disappeared into a mass of damp, multicolored leaves that piled up just at the edge of the trees. Shane waved the flashlight around, looking for some sign of Andrew's passing.

_He would have continued straight_. Shane said that to himself as if it were a fact, but it was just as much a guess. The truth was he had no idea where Andrew had entered the woods, let alone what he had done once he reached the protection of the trees or how deep he had gone once inside.

Shoving aside some of the thick branches that blocked his path, Shane stepped through the wall of trees. The temperature seemed to drop even more inside and the wet cold chilled him despite the sweater and jacket he wore.

That just fed his worry as he searched for some signs of Andrew in the woods. The ground was covered with leaves and other debris that obscured any tracks. Shane flashed the light around, hoping to spot some broken branches or other evidence of the direction Andrew had gone once he reached the trees, but Shane saw nothing

_He had to come here_, Shane insisted silently._ A little boy running would have gone straight into the woods_. And then what? He tried to think. _Come on. Come on. __Where did he go_?

Shane turned back to the treeline and tried to spot the car. Most likely, Andrew would have watched to see what was happening. But why didn't he stay near the edge of the woods? Why did he run from the car in the first place?

That question, Shane suspected he knew the answer to. Kim must have ordered Andrew to run. But why? What made her send Andrew fleeing, while she and Kayla remained behind.

"Stop it," Shane muttered. None of that mattered right now. Finding Andrew was all that counted. "Andrew!" he shouted once more. "Andrew, it's Daddy. It's okay. You can come out now."

There was a noise from behind him. Shane spun around. "An-"

"No, dude, it's just me." Steve had just stepped through a tangled mess of tree limbs, branches and dead leaves. "Roman's on his way." He waved his flashlight from side-to-side. "See anything?"

Shane shook his head. He aimed his flashlight beam on where he had entered the woods. "The footprints led to that spot, but I can't find anything in here. I have no clue which direction he went. And . . . and he's not responding when I call." Shane tried to stop himself from voicing his fears, but they came out anyway. "Steve . . . he's been out here for at least a couple of hours, and with no coat-"

"Stop it," Steve barked. "Just stop it, and don't think like that. We're going to find him. And then we're going to find Kayla and Kim." As determined as Steve sounded, Shane did not miss the underlying fear in his voice. Somehow it was comforting to Shane to know he was not the only one scared to death right now.

But Shane knew that he could not give into that fear. He had to keep his emotions under control. "You're right," he said. He pointed his flashlight in one direction. "Why don't you go that way? I'll go in the opposite direction and maybe we'll find a trail." As Steve started to move away, Shane added, "Just go slow. It might not be footprints, but broken branches. If you go too fast-"

"I might miss them," Steve said, cutting Shane off. "I'm not stupid."

Shane bit back his response. He knew Steve was trying to hold it together as much as he was, and the last thing he needed was to get into a fight with Steve. "Fine," was all he said, as he turned away from Steve and began moving slowly through the tangle of trees. He heard Steve head off in the other direction, but within a few minutes, everything was eerily quiet again. The entire forest seemed entirely silent and still.

He broke the silence by calling Andrew's name again, but there was no response. There also was no sign of Andrew's trail. The leaves on the ground would have obscured any footprints and Shane saw nothing else that suggested Andrew had come this way.

From elsewhere in the woods, Shane heard Steve shouting Andrew's name too. Shane waited, hoping he would hear if Steve found anything. But a few minutes of silence passed, dimming those hopes.

He shoved aside some tree branches, soldiered on through the darkness, and said a silent prayer. _Please, God. . . please let him be okay_. He took a few more steps before Steve's voice cut through the silence.

"Donovan!"

Shane spun around.

"Over here! I found something."

Not even sure where "over here" was, Shane began sprinting back in the direction from which he had come. He rushed through the woods, ignoring the branches that scratched at his face and the wet leaves that made every step treacherous.

"Where are you?" Shane called out.

"Here," Steve responded. "Follow my voice."

Shane did exactly that as Steve kept shouting. After several minutes of wending his way through the trees, Shane finally spotted the beam of Steve's flashlight. Shane followed the light until he found Steve.

Taking a moment to catch his breath, Shane asked, "What do you have?"

Steve aimed his light at a low-lying branch. Some dark cloth was hanging off its end. It looked like it had been torn from something.

Studying it under his flashlight beam, Shane tried to remember if Andrew had been wearing a navy shirt that morning. Maybe he had.

"Come on," Steve said, as he aimed his flashlight past the tree branch. Shane's gaze followed the light.

"There," he said, pointing at some broken branches. _Finally, a trail_. Again, he called out Andrew's name, but, again, there was no response.

Together, they followed the few signs of Andrew's path through the woods. Shane knew they were getting closer, but that only increased the fear that filled him. _Please be okay_.

Steve, who was a few feet in front, suddenly stopped still. "No," he said, his voice so low that Shane barely heard the word. But it was enough to cause Shane's heart to skip a beat. He moved past Steve and looked at where his flashlight was aimed.

_Oh, God_! _No_!


	269. Chapter 269

"Andrew!" Shane cried, as Steve rushed towards the small, motionless figure lying a few yards away. Andrew was curled in a tight ball as he lay on a pile of wet leaves. He was completely still, and Steve detected no signs of life.

_He's got to be alive_, Steve thought._ He can't be dead._

When they reached the boy, Steve fell to his knees and began checking for a pulse. Andrew's body was pale and cold.

_Come on. . .. Come on . . . ._ Steve heard himself silently begging. _He's just a little kid._

There. Under his fingers, he felt some faint movement. It was weak, but at least it was there.

"I've got a pulse," Steve said.

Shane had knelt on the other side of Andrew and was pulling his sweater over his head. He had already tossed his jacket aside. With a grim look, he handed the sweater to Steve. "Wrap that around his head."

"What are-" Steve started to ask, but then realized what Shane was doing. Andrew was hypothermic and they needed to warm him up. Doing as he was instructed, Steve wound the sweater around Andrew's head to keep him from losing more body heat.

Shane finished removing his shirt and leaned over to began unbuttoning Andrew's. In an eerily calm voice, Shane told Steve, "Help me get his clothes off."

Steve briefly marveled at the lack of emotion in Shane's voice, but the slight trembling in Shane's fingers as he worked on Andrew's clothes made it clear that Shane was not nearly as detached as he sounded. Steve was scared too. Andrew was still not moving, and Steve could barely tell if the boy was breathing.

"He's going to be okay," Steve said, as much to himself as to Shane as he helped Shane undress the cold and wet little boy. "He's a tough little dude." Steve caught Shane's sharp nod out of the corner of his eye, but otherwise Shane remained focused entirely on Andrew.

"Slowly," Shane finally said, as they pulled away the last of Andrew's clothes. "Don't jostle him too much."

When the clothes were removed, Shane pulled Andrew off the ground, wrapped his arms around him, and held him close to Shane's chest. "Andrew . . . please," Shane whispered, the emotion no longer held in check. "Come on, son. . . . Don't give up." He stopped talking and began to blow warmer air into Andrew's face.

"Here," Steve said, as he placed Shane's forgotten jacket over Andrew's back. Then, removing his own jacket, he added another layer. "He's going to be okay, Shane. We just need to get him warmed up."

Something flashed in Shane's eyes - fear perhaps - but Shane seemed to force it away and simply nodded. Resuming his even tone, he said, "Let's get him out of here."

As they began the trek back to the road, Steve heard sirens in the distance. He hoped Roman had thought to call paramedics, and kicked himself for not suggesting it when he called earlier. He had been so focused on getting help to find Andrew, Kayla, and Kim that he had not even thought about the fact that Andrew might need medical help.

The trip out of the woods was a slow one. With Shane keeping his arms around Andrew to hold him close to Shane's body heat, it was up to Steve to keep the jackets over the boy. That meant walking close together in an area full of wet leaves and branches. Now that they had found Andrew, Steve began to think once again about Kayla. Who took her? What did they want from her? What would they do to her? All those questions began running back-and-forth in his head as they silently made their way back to the road.

"Shane! Steve!" Roman's voice cut through the night.

"We're over here!" Steve called out. "We found him!" Still holding the jackets over Andrew, Steve guided Shane and Andrew towards the sound of Roman's voice. When they reached the edge of the woods, they shoved their way through some low-hanging tree branches and finally reached the clearing. Steve quickly spotted a bunch of flashing lights on the road and a number of flashlight beams. "Roman, where are you?"

"Here." Roman came running toward them carrying a flashlight. He stopped still when his light reached Shane and Andrew. "Is he-"

"He's hypothermic," Shane interrupted, an edge to his voice. "We need to warm him up."

Roman nodded and helped lead them back to the road. As they passed the wreckage of Kim's car, Steve saw a slew of police officers studying the scene. He nearly stumbled on the uneven ground, but kept to his feet and pushed the jackets back up against Andrew.

"Tell them to be careful." That came from Shane. "We found some footprints - a man's and Kim and Kayla's."

"Don't worry about that right now," Roman replied. "Let's get him to the hospital."

Shane seemed to hesitate. "I'm not sure . . . ."

"What are you talking about, dude," Steve said. Shane was not thinking right, no matter how calm he might appear. "Andrew needs a doctor."

"I know he needs a doctor," Shane snapped. "But he may not be safe at a hospital."

Steve stopped, which forced Shane to stop as well. "You're not thinking straight, Shane. Andrew needs a hospital." He looked down at the still-motionless boy. "I know you're scared, but Andrew will be safe at the hospital."

"Will he?" Shane asked sharply. "Like you were safe from Lawrence?"

Steve did not know how to respond to that. He understood Shane's fears, but this was not rational. Looking at Roman, he silently pleaded for help, but Roman did not seem to want to argue with Shane.

"I'll call Neil and see what he thinks," Roman said. "Take Andrew to the squad car and I'll get an officer to drive you." He looked again at Andrew. "Does he have any other injuries that Neil needs to know about?"

Shane shook his head. "I don't think so. At least, I didn't see any. Just some minor cuts and bruises."

"All right," Roman replied. "Let's get you out of here."

Shane nodded and continued to the road with Steve's help. One of the police officers motioned for them to take Andrew to a police cruiser. Shane continued to clutch Andrew close as he climbed into the back seat, and Steve again saw the calm mask slip as Shane quietly begged Andrew to wake up. Once Shane was inside, Steve placed Shane's jacket over Andrew's back, along with a blanket from the police car. Holding his now unneeded jacket, Steve softly brushed his hand across Andrew's forehead. He skin still felt so cold.

"He's gonna be okay," Steve said yet again, still willing it to be true. He wanted to tell Shane to stop being a stubborn fool and take the boy to the hospital, but then he caught the look in Shane's eyes. The fear and desperation were evident and Steve knew the last thing he needed right now was an argument. Steve took a deep breath and was trying to find something encouraging to say when Roman appeared beside him.

"Neil will meet you at the house," Roman told Shane. "He'd prefer you go to the hospital, but he understands the security issue. Plus he said there's probably not much more they can do at the hospital than at your house."

Shane just nodded, as Roman backed away. "Hang in there, partner."

"I'll call Simmons from your car," Steve said. "That way he'll be ready for you."

Shane looked up. In a quiet voice, he said, "Thank you." Then he looked back down at Andrew. "Thank you for finding him."

Steve just nodded and then backed out of the car. He looked at the officer who was getting into the front seat and closed the door. An instant later, the car pulled out, turned on its sirens, and sped into the night.

Steve said a silent prayer for Andrew, and then turned back to where the officers were examining the wrecked car. Pulling on his jacket, Steve turned to the task at hand. Kayla was still out there - possibly hurt, and definitely in danger. Steve started to head to Kim's car when he remembered the phone call he promised to make for Shane. Turning again, he hurried to Shane's car. First, he would make the call. Then, Steve was going to find Kayla and whoever had done this. Then, that bastard would pay.


	270. Chapter 270

As the police car sped into Salem, Shane looked down at Andrew's face. Since Shane and Steve had found Andrew in the woods, the boy had not moved once. He was so pale and his breathing was so shallow, it was hard to even tell the boy was alive. And his body, which Shane held close to his own chest, still felt ice cold.

Shane leaned over again and tried to exhale warm air as Andrew inhaled. "Please be okay," Shane whispered. "Hang in there, son."

The sweater Steve had wrapped around Andrew's head was sliding forward, so Shane pulled his arm free of the blanket and jacket covering it and tried to put the sweater back in place. He kept his arm free, and brushed Andrew's pale cheek.

"I'm here, Andrew. Daddy's here." Shane heard his voice break. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that he needed to stay in control. It would not do Andrew any good if he lost his head.

Shane prayed he had made the right decision about taking Andrew home. The hospital was not safe, and, for hypothermia, all they would do is put him in a warm bath and use warming packs to bring Andrew's body temperature back up. They could do the same thing at the house. And if Steve had called ahead, Simmons probably would have the bath already filled.

Looking out the window, Shane could see that the police car had entered Salem and was now nearing the lakefront homes. It turned down Lakeview Drive and after a few minutes pulled into the driveway of Shane's house. He waited for the officer to unlock the back door, and then carefully climbed out of the car, all the while clutching Andrew tightly to his chest.

The officer helped Shane to the front door, where Simmons was waiting.

"Dr. Curtis is on his way, and the upstairs bath is drawn," Simmons said.

"Wait here for him," Shane instructed. Remembering his training, Shane tried not to jar Andrew too much as he carefully negotiated the stairs. Reaching the bathroom, he let the blanket and the jacket fall to the floor. In the light, Andrew's body was tinged blue-grey. _Please don't let me be too late_, Shane silently begged, as he tested the water to confirm it was not too hot. Then, he lowered Andrew's body into the bathtub, while holding Andrew's arms and legs above the water. Shane continued to try to breathe warm air into Andrew's lungs.

"Please wake up," he begged again.

He was not sure how long he spent trying to help Andrew when he heard a voice from behind him. "Shane, what's going on?"

Shane looked up to see Neil Curtis standing in the doorway. Simmons was standing right behind him.

Neil put his doctor's bag on the bathroom counter, opened it, and began rummaging through it. "Roman told me Andrew was hypothermic, but how did ths happen?"

"He got trapped in the woods. I don't know for how long," Shane tried to explain. "And he's been like this since we found him." Shane slid over to let Neil get closer. "I didn't think he'd be safe at the hospital. Someone tried to kill him out there, and we don't know who." Shane paused. Maybe Andrew did need a hospital. "I wasn't sure . . . is he okay here?"

With a thermometer in hand, Neil crouched down next to Andrew. Shane still held onto Andrew's arms and legs so they did not sink into the water. Warming the extremities risked pulling heat from the internal organs.

Neil checked Andrew's temperature. "It's a severe case," Neil said. "Body temperature's around 85 degrees - and I have to assume it was lower when you found him." He looked at Shane. "Do you have hot water bottles?"

"Yes, sir." The answer came from Simmons.

"Okay," Neil said. "Get as many of them filled as possible. Try to keep them around 110 degrees. They shouldn't be too hot - and the water will need to be changed every few minutes."

Simmons disappeared.

"Is he going to be okay?" Shane asked. "Do we need to take him to the hospital?"

Neil sighed. "As much as I'd prefer it, I can understand why you brought him here. We'd probably just do the same thing. I mean, there are some new ideas I've heard about for treating hypothermia, mainly using IV fluids, but we don't know enough about them yet, especially for kids." Neil shook his head. "The good thing is that kids generally manage better with hypothermia. But I'm not going to promise you anything." He went back to checking Andrew's vital signs. "How did Andrew get into the woods? There aren't woods around here."

"It wasn't here," Shane said. "Someone ran Kim's car off the road out on Route 6. They took Kim and Kayla, but Andrew ran away and hid in the woods."

Neil's eyes widened. "Do you know where Kim is?"

"No." Shane looked down. Ever since he had realized that Andrew had run from the car, he had barely thought about Kim and Kayla. "Roman and Steve are looking for them."

_They shouldn't even have been out there. They were only in danger because I pushed Kim away._

Shane knew that was the truth. If Kim had stayed at the house that morning, she would have been here, in the bedroom, right now. It was Shane's cowardice that he pushed her away, and now he had no idea where she was and Andrew was clinging to life.

_Andrew could die because I was a coward._

For the next hour or so, Shane's mind darted between worrying about Andrew and silently berating himself for what had happened. Finally, after Neil had checked Andrew's temperature for about the 50th time, he said, "I think we should move him to the bedroom."

Shane pulled his son out of the water, wrapped him tightly in a towel, and carried him to the bedroom. Simmons was already in there, with several hot water bottles and a pile of extra blankets. Shane set Andrew carefully down on the bed. He and Simmons followed Neil's instructions about placing the hot water bottles around Andrew's body. Then they piled on the blankets.

After looking down at his son's pale face, Shane brushed a lock of Andrew's hair off his forehead. _Please be okay. _

"That's all we can really do for him right now," Neil said. "We just have to wait."

Shane nodded. "I . . . I understand." He looked away from Andrew for a moment. "Thank you for coming, Neil. I hope you don't mind my letting Simmons see you out."

"He's my godson, remember?" Neil said softly. "And I'm not going anywhere. Not until I'm sure Andrew's going to be okay."

Shane smiled gratefully, as Simmons spoke to Neil. "Perhaps you'd like something from the kitchen while you wait, sir."

"That sounds like a good idea." Neil turned to Shane. "There's nothing you can do here, so why don't you come downstairs for a little while?"

_Not a bloody chance_. With a curt shake of his head, Shane said, "I want to be here. If - When he wakes. . . ." _I don't want him waking up all alone._

"Okay," Neil said. "As he warms up, he might start shivering again, but that's a good sign. And if he regains consciousness, we want to get some hot liquids into him." He looked at Simmons. "Why don't we discuss that on the way downstairs?"

Neil and Simmons left, leaving Shane alone with Andrew. Shane pulled a chair from the other side of the room so he could sit next to Andrew's bed, and took a seat. Sitting there, Shane studied his son. He did not look as pale as before, but that seemed to be the only real change. He remained so still.

Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Please, God, don't take my son," he said softly. "If you need to take someone, take me. Just please . . . don't take Andrew."

They had almost lost Andrew so many times during his short life. From the moment he was born premature to the kidnapping and then to the accident that nearly took his life. All those times, Andrew had come through unscathed. They could not lose him now.

He opened his eyes and wiped away some tears that were forming. Once again, Shane softly brushed his son's cheek, and he pleaded, "Don't take him . . . please . . . please let him live."


	271. Chapter 271

As Steve walked towards where Roman was standing, he could hear the police commander barking out orders.

"I want a team collecting every piece of debris between the first skid marks and where those footprints end at the road. Some of that debris has to be from the perpetrator's car and I want it found! I want anything that might give us something to help find this guy."

Steve watched as one group of officers walked away and Roman turned to another group.

"Get the word out on the local news stations and radio. I want to find anybody who might have been driving down this road tonight."

The second group moved away, with the lead man heading to the area where the press was waiting. Steve wondered briefly if Jack or Jennifer might be over there, but unless they knew where Kayla was, it did not really matter.

As he reached Roman, Steve looked over and saw a forensics team combing through the car. His heart clinched as he saw a man put a cloth soaked in red in a plastic bag. He knew that was a sample from the blood on the roof under the passenger seat. _Kayla's blood_, Steve was sure.

"What do you got, Roman?" Steve asked

Roman's head snapped around at the sound of Steve's voice. He shook his head and said, "A whole lot of nothing at the moment."

"Nothing?" Steve said incredulously. "Kayla and Kim are out there somewhere and you're telling me you have nothing?" Steve did not bother to hide the disgust in his voice.

"I don't like it any better than you do, partner," Roman replied evenly. "But the fact is that we have no witnesses, no description of a vehicle, and no idea of who might have done this."

Before Steve could respond, a member of the forensics team approached. "Commander Brady? We're going to take the first part of these samples down to the lab. The rest of the team will stay here and gather evidence."

"Fine," Roman replied, dismissively. "But I want those lab results as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir." The officer turned and left.

"What do you mean we have no idea who did this?" Steve said after the man left. "It had to be whoever's been after Andrew."

"Maybe." Roman turned and looked at Steve. "But if it was the same person who has been after Andrew, then why did he leave Andrew and take Kim and Kayla?"

Steve had no answer for that. For a moment he wondered if the ISA was behind this. Had they used Kayla to get to him? But then he remembered Andrew in the woods and Mike's body. The ISA were a lot of things but they were not cold-blooded murderers - at least not like this. This was far too messy for the ISA.

If it was not the ISA, that left Lawrence Alamain. But why would Alamain have decided to go after Kim and Kayla now? And why would he have gone after Andrew at all? Steve shook his head. None of this was making sense.

Steve looked up and caught Roman looking at him. Shrugging, Steve said, "I don't know. But this didn't just happen out of the blue, Roman."

Roman nodded. "I know. But from what I understand, this shopping trip was a last-minute idea. Whoever did this must have seen an opportunity and grabbed it."

Steve did not respond. Instead he walked closer to the wrecked vehicle. He walked around it carefully staring at each dent as if he could will himself to figure out what had happened to Kim and Kayla . . . and why.

_How am I supposed to find you if I don't know who took you, Sweetness_? _There has to be a clue here somewhere. There has to be something I'm missing._

"We're going to find them, Steve." Roman's voice startled Steve out of his thoughts.

Steve nodded, not trusting himself to speak. For the first time since they had found the car, he felt the cold of the night sink into his bones. It matched the cold fear and desperation he felt in his heart.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Roman walk over to talk to some of the officers working on the wreck site. His thoughts again drifted to the blood in the car and his fear deepened as another thought struck him. If this was the same person who had been after Andrew and possibly Kim, then Kayla was never a target. And if Kayla had not been a target, then she was also an unneeded liability to whoever had taken her.

Steve tried to calm himself by focusing on the fact that whoever had done this had not just killed Kayla outright. That meant they had some reason for taking Kayla as well as Kim. But how long would that reason last? And how badly was Kayla hurt?

Steve jumped as he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder. He whirled around to see Roman looking at him apologetically.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Steve shrugged. "Do you have any more information?"

"Nothing new," Roman replied. The boys at the lab will be busy all night and there is nothing we can do here. Let's go back to Shane's house. Maybe Andrew's woken up and will have some information."

"I can't just go sit around and wait, Roman." Steve gestured into the darkness. "My wife is out there somewhere, and she's hurt, and I have to find her."

"And you - we - will find her, Steve." Roman's voice rang with certainty. "But it's not going to happen by standing out here in the cold all night. I've got Abe at the station and the lab has orders to call me at Shane's house as soon as they have any information. As soon as we get any leads, we'll track them down. But they're not here."

Steve turned away and stared back at the wrecked car again. His head told him Roman was right, that there was nothing to be gained from staying here. But his heart told him that this was the last place Kayla had been, and leaving here felt like he was leaving her.

"All right, Roman," Steve finally said. "Let's go back to Shane's for now. But if you get any information, you better share it."

Roman nodded and began walking towards Shane's car. Steve took one last glance back at the wreckage before following.

With each step towards Shane's car, Steve repeated a single thought. _I'll be back, baby. I'm not going to stop until I find you, I promise._


	272. Chapter 272

Kim helped Kayla lie down on the cot. Every movement seemed to cause Kayla more pain, but maybe, if she could sleep a little, things would be better in the morning.

Who the hell was she kidding? Neither of them would be able to sleep.

She looked over at Kayla, who was curled on her side. Kim had used the one small towel in the bathroom to staunch the bleeding from the wound on Kayla's head, and as the immediate shock and terror of the night began to fade, Kim had begun to feel the pain from some of the bruises and minor cuts she suffered in the crash.

_Did they find the car_? Kayla had sounded so certain that Shane and Steve would have known where to go, but did they really know? And the car had wound up pretty far off the road. _Would they see it_? _And even if the found the car, did they find Andrew_?

He must have been so terrified. And cold.

How long would it have been before anyone noticed they were late? It had probably been around 7 p.m. when Cal struck. Caroline probably would not have raised any questions until hours later, and would anyone have really reacted that quickly? They might not have even started a search until close to midnight and, by the time anyone would have found Andrew, he could have been in the freezing cold for hours.

"There's nothing you can do, Kimmie," Kayla said. She sounded tired and Kim could hear the pain in her voice. "I know you're worried, but you have to have faith that Steve and Shane found him."

It was so hard to have faith right now. "I feel so stupid," Kim said. "How could I not have thought about Cal? I mean . . . all the clues were there. He worked with Jericho, so he could have gotten Shane's keys, and he knew about the diner, so he could have found Shane's old shirt. God, I'm such an idiot."

Kayla shook her head violently, then grimaced. "No, you're not. Cal's supposed to be in jail in Alaska." She mused, "How could he have escaped with nobody knowing it?

Kim recalled the relief she had felt when Shane had gotten Cal transferred to Alaska. She had thought he was safely out of her life. _But somehow he's in Salem_. "I don't know, Kay." Kim felt a tense knot in her mid-section. "But he's here." She looked at Kayla and thought about what Cal would do to her. Just like he had tried to get rid of Andrew, Cal would have no remorse about killing Kayla.

_And what will he do to me_?

Kim had no illusions. Cal had planned to rape her when he kidnapped her before. In his deranged mind, she knew he envisioned them being together. But not just them. Her heart sank as another thought hit her.

_He'll want Jeannie._

"Kim?" Kayla asked.

"He'll want Jeannie," Kim repeated, this time out loud. "He won't leave here without her." The fact that they were in an airplane hangar told her that Cal intended to spirit her away on a plane, but he would never leave their daughter behind. Not after what he put her through the year before. And Jeannie was at her parents, not at Shane's, behind the top-notch security. "How could I be so stupid," she muttered. "I'm so stupid, and now Andrew might be hurt-" Or worse. "And who knows who's protecting Jeannie? What if Cal goes after Mama and Papa?"

Kayla have her a sympathetic look. "Jeannie's fine, and nobody's going to let anything happen to her. And like I told you, Andrew's going to be fine-"

"You don't know that!" Kim snapped. "He's my son, and what did I do? Because I was upset with Shane, I put my son in danger."

"You couldn't have known about Cal," Kayla insisted. "Look . . . I know how you feel, but blaming yourself is not constructive. We need to figure out how we're going to get out of here."

Kayla made sense, Kim thought. Besides, if she focused on getting them out of this room, it would keep her mind off her kids. _Please, Shane. Please find Andrew._

Unfortunately, there was little to see in the room. The "bedroom," for lack of a better word, was about 12x10, with only the little desk, a plastic chair, and the cot Kayla was on. Kim walked over to the desk and pulled open the one drawer it had.

Her stomach pitched, as she looked inside. Staring up at her was her own face. And Cal's.

She recognized the photo. Roman had taken it at Thanksgiving. Kim felt sick even remembering it. That had been right around the time she first slept with Cal, and she had invited him into her family. All the while Shane was out there, alive and lost.

"Anything?" Kayla asked.

Kim picked up the photo so Kayla could see it. Then, Kim crushed it into a tight ball. She was mashing it even tighter when the door opened and Cal stepped inside.

"Oh, I wish you hadn't done that, Kim," Cal said, ruefully. "That was a present - a reminder of happy times."

Kim winced and started to respond, but Kayla spoke first. "You're sick, Cal. Do you really think this is going to make Kim want to be with you? Kidnapping us and trying to kill Andrew."

Cal harrumphed. "Yeah, about that . . . . You'll be happy to know that Salem's Finest found the little brat."

"Is he okay?" Kim felt a mix of hope and fear.

Cal shrugged. "Perhaps I'll tell you in the morning . . . if you behave."

"Cal!" Kim rushed forward. "Please tell me if he's all right? He's my son."

Cal shoved her back. "Maybe not for long. From the police band, it sounded like the cops found a popsicle."

_No_! Kim stepped back. She could not stop the image forming in her head. _No, he can't be dead. I'd know. I'd know._

"You bastard," Kayla snarled from the cot.

"Gee . . . that hurts," Cal said. "Coming from you, who everyone thinks is so perfect. You know, Kayla, you should be more careful. Kimmie over there, I have a reason to keep around. You, on the other hand . . . ."

Cal didn't have to finish his thought. Kim looked at Kayla and they both knew exactly what he meant. Kayla was expendable and Cal would not hesitate to kill her once he decided she no longer suited his purpose.

Kim knew she had to protect Kayla any way she could. Turning back to Cal, she looked him in the eye. "I told you already, Cal. If you do anything to hurt Kayla, you'll never have me."

Cal chuckled. "You sound so determined, Kimberly. I like that spirit. But you'll change your thinking over time." He stepped back. "Now I want you to sit down and stop talking. Your chit-chat echoes through the vents." He looked around the small room. "I suppose I should apologize; these accommodations were arranged with only one in mind. If you play nice, perhaps I'll find another bed for you tomorrow. If you don't, I take that one and you both sleep on the floor."

He leaned closer to Kim and feigned a whisper, even though his voice was loud enough for Kayla to hear. "You really should take the bed. It's not like little sis is going to need her beauty rest for much longer. I could just kill her now and save the bother."

"Cal," Kim warned. For a moment, her fear turned to a hot rage. She wanted to launch herself at him. For Andrew. For Jeannie. For everyone Cal had hurt. But she couldn't. Kayla needed Kim to stay strong and focused.

"Hmmm . . . No, I guess I'll keep her around. I think she'll keep you under control." Cal chuckled. "You always were a spitfire. I'll see you in the morning, Kimberly."

Still chuckling, Cal turned and stepped out of the room. He closed it and Kim heard the sound of a key in the doorknob.

_I need to get that key_, she thought. _I'm going to get that key and then I'm going to make sure Cal Winters never hurts anyone I love ever again._

With a grim determination, Kim stared at the now-locked door and said, "I'll see you in hell, Cal."


	273. Chapter 273

Steve's legs felt like lead as he followed Roman into Shane's house. The foyer was dark and quiet, so they headed into the library.

Inside the library, Steve saw that Simmons had set up a tray with coffee and sandwiches. He must have been expecting a crowd.

As Steve poured himself a cup of coffee, Roman went straight to the phone and called his office. Steve listened as Roman asked for information and then gave a series of one word responses to whatever he was hearing.

"Okay, it sounds like all the bases are covered." Roman rubbed a hand across his forehead. "I'm at Shane's house for now, so call me here if you find out anything more."

Roman had barely hung up the phone before Steve was beside him, asking, "What did Abe tell you?"

Roman shook his head. "Still nothing new. We've got roadblocks set up on all the main roads out of Salem and Brookville, and the airport has been contacted. There's nowhere for them go to if. . . ." Roman's voice drifted off as it he was unwilling to finish his thought.

_If they are still in the area_. Steve finished it for Roman. Whoever had taken Kayla and Kim had at least a two-hour head start, if not more. That gave them a lot of time to get out of Salem.

"Will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?" Steve whirled around at the sound of Bo's voice. Bo stomped into the room, staring at Roman and Steve. "I got a call from Ma that Kim and Kayla were missing and Andrew was hurt. Then I called the police and Abe told me you were here. So what the hell happened to our sisters?"

Steve glanced at Roman, who ran a hand over his face before responding. "Just take it easy, Bo. We don't know much more than what you do."

"What do you mean you don't know anything more?" Bo looked at Steve. "What's going on?"

Steve sighed. "Apparently Kim and Kayla decided to go on an impromptu shopping trip to Brookville this evening. They took Andrew and Mike with them. When they didn't show up at home later, Shane and I went looking for them." He took a deep breath, reliving the shock and fear at what they had found.

"And?" Bo prompted.

"And they found Kim's car wrecked - run off the side of the road with Mike's body next to it." Roman finished for Steve. "Kim and Kayla were gone, and Andrew was hiding in the woods."

"Ma said Andrew was hurt," Bo said quietly. "Is he okay?"

"I think he will be," Neil answered, walking into the room. "His temperature is coming up and his other vital signs are holding steady."

Steve let out a sigh of relief at that news. At least one tragedy appeared to have been averted tonight. With some luck, maybe there would be more good news coming.

"Is he awake yet?" Roman asked.

"Not yet," Neil replied. "And probably not for a while longer. His temperature is still below normal range and he's been through a lot tonight. It might be morning before he comes around."

Roman nodded tersely and Steve knew what he was thinking. Andrew was their best chance of finding out what had happened and who had taken Kim and Kayla. But he was also their nephew, and the first priority was making sure he was okay.

"Is Shane upstairs with Andrew?" Bo asked.

"Yes." Neil glanced towards the stairs. "I wouldn't count on him coming down until Andrew wakes up. He refuses to leave his side."

Steve could understand that, and knew Roman and Bo could as well. They had all faced situations where their children had been hurt or in peril, and nothing could have dragged them away. Andrew had to be Shane's priority for the time being.

The sharp ring of the phone broke the silence that had enveloped the room. It stopped after just two rings and, a second later, Simmons appeared in the doorway.

"There is a call for Commander Brady," he said formally. "From Detective Carver."

"Thanks." Roman quickly moved to the phone. "What do you have for me, Abe?"

Steve's heart sank as he saw Roman's shoulders sag at whatever Abe had told him. After a moment, Roman said, "Thanks, partner. Let me know if the lab finds anything else."

Roman hung up the phone and then turned back to Steve, Bo, and Neil. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see that Simmons was still waiting by the door. Even the ever-so-proper butler was looking for whatever information he could get.

"What did Abe say?" Bo finally broke the silence.

"The lab tested the blood found in the car." Roman looked at Steve. "It's definitely Kay's. The blood on the jacket found on the backseat is hers as well."

Steve willed himself to keep it together. _You already knew that was her blood_, he told himself. _It doesn't mean anything._

"Anything else?" Steve asked gruffly.

"No." Roman leaned against the desk. He sounded tired. "The lab's still analyzing the debris from the crash site. They're trying to find anything that could identify the vehicle that ran Kim and Kayla off the road, but they haven't had any luck so far."

"So what do we do now?" Steve asked, beginning to pace.

"We wait." Roman shrugged his shoulders. "There's nothing else we can do without some kind of lead. I've got every man on the force out looking for the car or manning road blocks and the airport. Something has to break soon."

"What about the FBI?" Bo looked at Roman. "Can't they help?"

"Until there is evidence of a federal crime, they don't have any jurisdiction," Roman replied. "The local office has been notified and they are 'monitoring' the situation."

"Well isn't that just great." Steve snarled sarcastically. "My wife is missing and they don't have jurisdiction."

"Steve-" Roman started to say.

"Don't bother, Roman," Steve interrupted. "If you want to wait around here, that's fine. But I'm going to look for Kayla." Steve stared at Roman, daring him to try and stop him.

"Alright." Roman nodded. "But at least take Shane's car so we can stay in touch." He tossed the keys to Steve.

"I'm going with you," Bo said, zipping up his jacket.

Steve gave Bo a grateful look. Having Bo around might help keep Steve from going crazy. "Let's get going then." Steve walked toward the door with Bo right behind him. "Kayla and Kim are counting on us, and I don't plan on letting them down."


	274. Chapter 274

Shane set the new hot water bottle next to Andrew's chest and handed the old one to Simmons. Andrew still had not woken up, but his color seemed better and his breathing was more visible than earlier. As Shane layered the blankets back over his son, he looked at Neil, who was checking his thermometer.

"93.2," Neil said. "That's an improvement."

A wave of relief started to wash over Shane, but it stopped suddenly. "Then why hasn't he woken up?"

"It takes time, Shane. Andrew's been through a terrible shock. The car accident and then the cold. Let him sleep. He'll wake up pretty soon and then I can make sure he's okay. Right now, this is as good as we could've hoped for."

Shane let out a deep breath. "Thank you. . . . You have no idea how-"

"I told you already. Andrew's my godson." He glanced down at the bed. "Andrew's a strong boy. He's always been a fighter."

Shane just nodded.

"I'd say you could use some sleep, too-" Neil raised his hands in mock surrender as Shane began to protest. "I know. I know. There's not a chance of it. Suit yourself. . . . I'm going to take a catnap." He shook his head. "To think I used to go for weeks like this, but I'm not nearly as young as I was when I was a resident."

After Neil left, Shane leaned back in his chair and watched his son sleep. Shane rubbed his tired eyes and re-rolled the sleeve on his shirt. Simmons had brought it in earlier and Shane had just pulled it on and haphazardly rolled up the sleeves. He wanted to give in to sleep, but he fought it. It was too important that he be here when Andrew woke.

He sat in the dim light of Andrew's bedroom for awhile, thinking. For the first time since he had left Caroline's, Shane began to focus on Kim and Kayla. Andrew would probably be okay, but they were still gone, and Shane had no idea who had taken them.

As he thought, Shane became puzzled. His two main suspects were Jericho and Lawrence. But kidnapping Kim and Kayla did not really seem like something either of them would do. At this point, with Shane no longer in the ISA, what purpose did it serve? And why take Kayla?

Over and over, he ran through the evidence and the suspects. But, every time, he came to the same conclusion. Something did not make sense. There was something he was missing.

"Hey, partner," Roman's voice interrupted Shane's thoughts.

Shane looked up in surprise. "Oh . . . Roman . . . I didn't realize you were still here." Simmons had reported that Roman had arrived and was making some calls in the library, but that had seemed like hours ago. "What time is it?"

"Just about 5:30," Roman said. "We set up a bit of a remote HQ in your library for the time being."

Shane nodded. He knew what Roman was not saying. Andrew would be the best source for any clues - when he woke up. "Do you have any news at all?"

"Not really." Roman shrugged. "We've got every cop in Salem looking for them and we should've found the other car by now. It had to have a lot of front-end damage, so if it was in Salem-"

"It should have turned up." Shane understood. "So we're dealing with someone who is good at covering their tracks. But I don't get it, Roman. This had to be an opportunistic attack. The first day Kim wasn't at my house, a spur-of-the-moment shopping trip. . . . They couldn't have planned for that."

"Or they had a general plan that was ready to go on a moment's notice," Roman said.

That was true. Shane looked up at the ceiling and then back at Andrew. "I feel so bloody stupid right now. If I hadn't. . . ." Shane paused, realizing it probably was not the best idea to disclose that he had slept with Kim the night before and then acted like a horse's arse in the morning.

"If you hadn't? Are you going to tell me why Kim was at Ma and Pop's?" Roman crossed his arms and waited.

Shane sighed. "I don't want to argue, okay. I did something stupid and Kim rightfully walked out, and by the time I realized I'd been a damned fool, it was too late. So let's just leave it at that."

Roman gave a sympathetic look. "You're right. It's not the time to point fingers." He leaned against the wall, next to the door.

"You know what's the worst thing?" Shane quietly asked. When Roman just waited, Shane said, "It's feeling so damn helpless. We don't know where Kim and Kayla are, and all I can do is hope Andrew wakes up and is okay-"

"I know. I've been there. It's always a lot worse when it's your kid who's hurt or in danger," Roman said. "You just have to keep the faith - that Andrew will be fine and we're going to find Kimmie and Kay. None of us are going to rest until we find them."

Shane appreciated Roman's confidence. "How's Steve handling it?" Shane asked. "Sometimes I forget that it's only been two months since his rescue."

"And he's not the most low-key type." Roman chuckled slightly. "He's got Bo to keep him in check - and, yeah, Bo isn't the most low-key type either, but I think he'll stop Steve from doing anything too crazy. They're back out driving around Salem right now looking for clues. It's probably the best thing for both of them."

"I guess there is something to be said for keeping them occupied." Shane actually envied Steve and Bo. Even if it was just driving around, at least it would feel like they were doing something to find Kim and Kayla.

A noise to Shane's right caused him to turn his attention back to the bed. Andrew's head was moving, albeit slowly, from side to side.

"Andrew!" Shane tried to temper his excitement by keeping his voice low, then turned to Roman. "Go get Neil."

Andrew stirred a little more and murmured, but not anything intelligible. Shane leaned forward and stroked the boy's cheek.

"That's it, son. Wake up." Shane took Andrew's hand in his. "I'm right here, Andrew. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Neil burst into the room with Roman right behind. "Is he-"

"I think he's coming to," Shane said. Still holding Andrew's small hand, he reached out with his other hand and brushed some of Andrew's hair off his forehead. "Come on, Andrew. Wake up. Daddy's here."

Andrew turned his head from side to side and, finally, his eyes opened a crack. It took a little longer for them to focus on Shane. Then, in a small voice, Andrew whispered, "Daddy?"

Shane gasped in relief and pulled Andrew into a tight embrace. "Oh, Andrew, I was so worried. Thank God."

Behind Shane, Neil spoke. "Shane. . . ."

Feeling slightly embarrassed at being so emotional, Shane let go of Andrew and lowered him carefully back onto the bed. "Andrew . . . Dr. Curtis is here to make sure everything's okay. Do you understand?" At Andrew's bewildered nod, Shane added, "I'm going to stay right here. I'm not going anywhere."

He stepped aside so Neil could check Andrew's vitals and motor skills. After a few minutes, Neil looked at Shane. "I don't think there's anything to worry about." He turned back to Andrew. "Now, young man, I want you to stay in bed and do everything your father and Simmons tells you to. No running around for awhile."

Wide-eyed, Andrew nodded. Then he looked up at Shane. "Where's Mommy?"

Shane started to answer, but stopped. He had not even considered how he was going to explain that Kim was missing. _How do you explain that to a five-year-old_?

As he was mulling the question over, Roman stepped forward. "Andrew, we're hoping you can help us with that. Do you remember being in the car with your mom?"

Andrew pursed his lips for a moment and then nodded.

"And do you remember what happened after that?" Roman asked.

"Mommy told me to run," Andrew said, hesitantly.

Shane spoke before Roman could. "Why? Why did Mommy tell you to run?"

Andrew's eyes went wide again and his breathing seemed to speed up.

"It's okay," Shane said. "Calm down, son. You don't have to tell us until you can."

"Shane. . . ." Roman's voice carried a warning, and Shane knew what it was. They needed Andrew to talk. But right now, Shane was not going to pressure his son. Andrew had been through too much trauma already.

"I won't force him," Shane snapped. Turning back to Andrew, he said, "It's okay if you don't remember."

Andrew shook his head. "But I do, Daddy." He looked Shane directly in the eyes and whispered, "Mommy told me to run 'cause of Uncle Cal. She said Uncle Cal's a bad man - a very bad man."


	275. Chapter 275

Steve stared out the window desperately searching for any clue as Bo drove carefully down yet another isolated back road that connected to Route 6. Since leaving Shane's house, Bo and Steve had driven up and down Route 6 more times than either could count.

They knew that whoever had taken Kim and Kayla would have been driving a severely damaged car and would certainly have not risked taking the vehicle back into town. And if he had taken a back road, it was possible that the bumps and holes in the roads might have jostled something loose. Something that might lead Bo and Steve in the right direction.

The initial excitement at having a possibility to pursue had quickly waned when Steve had realized just how many roads led off of Route 6 in the miles before and after the wreck site. Some were nothing more than private driveways leading to cabins or farmhouses. Others were more substantial roads that had their own smaller roads branching off. It quickly became apparent that finding a clue on these back roads was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack.

"Damn!" Steve could see the road they were currently traveling blocked by a gate directly ahead. Beyond the gate appeared to be nothing but an empty field. When Bo stopped the car, Steve stepped out and looked at the gate. It was held shut with a chain and padlock which both looked well weathered.

Steve shined his flashlight around the area but could see nothing to indicate that a vehicle had passed through the gate or turned off the road at this point. There were no tracks in the weeds and Steve knew whoever had done this would not be foolish enough to leave that kind of trail.

"Dammit!" he yelled again, kicking the gate. With each dead end, Steve felt his desperation grow. Every minute that went by without finding some kind of clue was another minute that Kayla could be taken farther away, another minute she was out there somewhere hurt, and another minute that could lead to the unthinkable.

"Take it easy, Steve." Bo's voice was quiet and calm. "Breaking your foot on that gate isn't going to help us find Kimmie and Kay."

"How am I supposed to take it easy, Bo?" Steve fought for some kind of control. "My wife is out there, hurt, and I don't have any idea how to find her." He gestured back towards the highway. "We've been driving up and down that stupid highway for hours and haven't found a damn thing."

"I know," Bo replied sounding frustrated too. "But going crazy isn't going to help us find them. Let's just get back in the car and head back to the highway. There are a lot of side roads we haven't tried yet."

Steve laughed harshly. "And side roads off of those side roads and more miles of the highway we haven't even looked at yet." He paced around and ran his hand over his patch. "And we don't even know that they went down one of these roads. They could have gone into Brookville or God knows where."

Steve felt Bo's hand on his shoulder and turned around. "I know how hard this is, Steve," Bo said quietly. "I remember how I felt when Hope disappeared on that island. I was going crazy trying to find some clue to where she had gone."

Steve nodded, remembering how he and Bo had searched that island for days looking for any sign of Hope and Ernesto. He also remembered how he had been the one who had convinced Bo that there was no use staying there anymore. Now it was Bo trying to help Steve keep it together. But would this search have a different outcome? Steve tried to push the thought away, but it lingered, chilling him more than the cold of the night.

Walking away from Bo, Steve stepped up to the gate and looked out into the darkness. As the quiet night enveloped him, he willed himself to feel something, anything, that would tell him that Kayla was okay. She was his heart and his soul, so if he was still here and breathing, she had to be okay, right?

As he felt the cold settle around him, Steve's mind drifted back to another cold night and a small smile crossed his face. "Do you remember when Kayla and I were first getting together?" he asked softly, as much to himself as to Bo. "After we all got back from Stockholm?"

"Yeah," Bo replied, walking up to the gate next to Steve. "At least I remember that I didn't like it too much."

Steve chuckled softly at Bo's understatement, then continued. "There was this one day when your sister came walking into the Cheating Heart, acting like she'd been born there and challenged me to a game of pool."

"How'd that go?" Bo asked, a smile in his voice.

"About as well as you'd expect." Steve smiled at the memory. "Kayla didn't even know how to hold the cue - or at least she acted that way - but she didn't care. She was bound and determined to prove to me that we weren't that different."

"Did it work?" Bo looked at Steve. "I know it worked eventually, but did she convince you of anything that night?"

"She convinced me that I was fighting a losing battle trying to keep her away from me." Steve sighed. "No matter what I did, she never gave up on me - no matter how much I deserved it."

"Or how much I tried to convince her otherwise," Bo teased lightly. "I guess Kayla knew better than both of us back then, didn't she?"

"She always has," Steve said feeling the fear overtake him again. "And now she's out there counting on me - on us - to find her and Kim, and I have no idea how to do that."

"We just need to have some of that faith that Kay always relied on." Bo clasped Steve's shoulder again. "You know she won't give up, so we can't give up either."

"I'll never give up, Bo." Steve's voice was firm and strong. "Nothing in this world will stop me from finding her. I just need something to help me."

Before Bo could respond, the phone in Shane's car rang. Exchanging a quick glance, both men ran for the car. Steve reached the phone slightly before Bo and answered it.

"Hello . . . Roman?"

"Yeah, it's me," Roman said. "You and Bo need to get back to the house as soon as you can."

"Why? Did you find them?" Steve braced himself for whatever Roman had to tell him.

"Not yet."

"Then why do you want Bo and me to come back?" Steve asked, frustrated by Roman's lack of information.

"Because Andrew just woke up." Roman's voice took on a hard edge. "We know who took Kim and Kayla."


	276. Chapter 276

Kayla shifted slightly on the cot and tried to stifle a painful moan. Kim had insisted that Kayla lie down on the cot while she sat in the chair by the desk. Despite their fears and the discomfort of their surroundings, exhaustion had caught up with both of them and they had actually fallen asleep.

Across the room, Kim was still asleep, or pretending to be, in her chair. Hopefully, she was actually getting some sleep. They would both need their strength in the coming days.

Shifting her gaze to the ceiling, Kayla silently prayed that Andrew was okay. Cal's cryptic and cruel remark earlier had been a blessing and a curse. Not knowing Andrew's condition was killing Kim, but, guiltily, Kayla also realized that Andrew might be their key to being found. If he was seriously hurt or worse, she and Kim might lose their only hope of rescue.

Although she was not sure of the time, Kayla knew it had to be early morning sometime. She thought of the previous morning and how she had woken up and watched Steve sleep, afraid of what the day might bring for him. In some ways, yesterday morning seemed like weeks ago.

She could not help but realize the irony of her fears the previous day. Kayla had been so afraid of what might happen to Steve during his confrontation with the ISA. Instead, she was the one who was now in trouble. It was another lesson, if she needed one, that there were no guarantees of safety in this life.

When she had left for work the previous morning, she had been afraid for Steve but had never considered that she might be the one torn from her family. It had only been a few hours, but she wondered if she would ever see her husband and daughter again.

Kayla knew, without a doubt, that Steve would do everything in his power to find her. Shane and her brothers would be helping him every step of the way. But Cal had planned this all very carefully, and it was only a matter of time until he decided to leave with Kim. The clock was ticking against her and she could not count on a rescue reaching her and Kim in time. They were going to have to try to rescue themselves first.

An escape attempt would be risky. Kim's plea had kept Cal from killing Kayla the night before, but Kayla had no illusions that it would keep Cal at bay permanently. Cal was a psychopath; he would not hesitate to kill Kayla if she caused too much trouble or jeopardized his psychotic plan to take Kim away with him.

A wave of helplessness and frustration washed over Kayla. She could not take the chance of waiting for a rescue and attempting an escape could get her killed.

How had Steve had survived all of those months in the limbo she now found herself in? She was going crazy after just a few hours. He had somehow survived for months - while also enduring physical torture.

"Kay?" Kim's voice interrupted Kayla's silent dialogue. She turned her head. Kim looked back from the chair.

"Hi," Kayla replied quietly. "Did you get any sleep?"

"A little." Kim's voice was strained. "I kept thinking of Andrew . . . and Jeannie."

"I know. You just have to have faith that Andrew is okay. And you know Shane won't let anything happen to Jeannie."

"I hope you're right," Kim replied. She stood up from the chair and walked over to the cot. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Kayla said with a wan smile. That was not entirely true. Her ribs hurt with every movement, no matter how small and the cut on her head was also painful. But there was no point in worrying Kim about it. There could do nothing about Kayla's injuries right now.

"I'm sorry you got caught up in all of this Kay." Kim's voice cracked with emotion as she sat on the edge of the cot. "I should have-"

"Don't." Kayla quickly interrupted Kim. "Don't blame yourself for any of this. You didn't know that Cal was behind all of this and you certainly didn't know that any of this would happen. This isn't your fault."

Kim shook her head. "I knew somebody was after Andrew - and maybe me. I should have known better than to just go shopping like there was nothing going on."

"Well if you should have known, then I should have known too." Kayla was not going to let Kim do this to herself. "I knew about the threats and I didn't even think about it when we decided to go shopping." She smiled at Kim. "No matter how much you and Roman never want to believe it, I'm a big girl and can make my own decisions."

Kim returned Kayla's smile. "Don't pretend you don't see Bo the same way. He's still your baby brother no matter how old he is."

"That's true," Kayla allowed. "But-" She stopped as she heard a key turn in the door.

"Good morning, darling." Cal entered the room carrying a tray. Ignoring Kayla, he smiled broadly at Kim and set the tray on the desk. "I heard your voice and thought you might be hungry." He looked at Kim apologetically, "I know you didn't get dinner last night."

Kayla eased into a sitting position and looked at the tray. She could see a banana and an orange on the tray, along with what looked like a bagel. Her stomach growled with the reminder that she had not eaten since lunch the previous day.

"Thank you," Kim said quietly. "But there is only enough here for one. What about Kayla?"

"What about her?" Cal sounded indifferent. "If you want to share your breakfast with her, that's your business. But as I said last night, I was only expecting one person to be joining me."

Kayla again felt her heart clinch at Cal's veiled threats. He was again making it perfectly clear that Kayla did not fit in with his plans.

"Please, Cal-" Kim began to say.

"It's okay, Kimmie," Kayla interrupted. "I'm really not hungry." She gave Kim a warning look.

Kim sighed and then turned back to Cal. "I guess this will be fine. Thank you." Kayla could tell Kim was working to control her emotions.

Cal smiled broadly. "You're welcome. I know it's not much, but you won't be living like this for too long. Soon we will be far away from here and you'll have anything and everything you want."

"Soon?" Kim's voice cracked slightly.

Cal just smiled. "Enjoy your meal." He turned to walk back out of the room.

"Wait," Kim called. "Do you know anything more about Andrew? Is he okay?"

Cal scowled slightly at the question. "Don't worry about the brat. He's not your concern anymore." He stalked from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kim stared at the door for a moment and Kayla could tell she was trying to keep herself together. After a moment, Kim turned and picked up the tray and brought it over to the cot. Silently, she began peeling the orange and handed the first piece to Kayla. "Here," she said with a strong note of determination in her voice. "If we are going to figure out how to get out of here, we're both going to need our strength."

Kayla nodded firmly and took the piece of orange. They would play Cal's game for now, but the time would come when they were the ones making the move.


	277. Chapter 277

Shane perched on the edge of the bed and held the mug to Andrew's lips. "Drink a little bit more, son."

Neil had wanted Andrew to drink some hot chocolate, saying that the warm liquid would help bring Andrew's temperature the rest of the way up, while the sugar would give him more energy to fuel the recovery.

Andrew sipped some of the liquid and then pulled away. It seemed like the little burst of energy he had when he told Shane and Roman about Cal had passed. Now, Andrew just seemed pale and exhausted.

Roman had left to call Abe, Steve, and Bo, but Shane did not want to leave Andrew alone. They had asked Andrew some follow-up questions, which confirmed that the assailant was Cal. Andrew told them how Cal called his name and even used a nickname that Roman recognized as the one that Cal used with Andrew.

But none of that explained how Cal Winters could possibly have come to Salem. The attacks on Andrew had been going on for weeks. Prisoners don't just disappear from penitentiaries without being noticed.

_It is Cal_.

Shane forced himself to accept that, despite the implausibility. He believed Andrew.

"Are you mad at me?" Andrew looked up with his big, dark eyes. "For not helping Mommy?"

The question took Shane by surprise. _How could Andrew think that_? For the moment, Shane pushed Cal out of his mind. "Of course, I'm not mad at you. You did what your mother told you to do. That helped her a lot. She knows you're safe and that's the most important thing to her."

Andrew grew silent.

"You listen to me, Sport." Shane set the mug on the end-table beside Andrew's bed. "Mommy's okay and I'm going to find her and bring her home. I don't want you to worry about that." In the back of his mind, Shane wondered if he was making another promise he might be unable to keep, but, no, there was no way he would let Cal hurt Kim. "I'm going to find her." Shane gave Andrew a reassuring smile. "Why don't you lie back down and see if you can sleep a little more?"

He helped Andrew get comfortable and then found his teddy bear. Andrew took the bear, clutched it tightly, and curled on his side. Shane stayed seated on the edge of the bed and tried to think of something to say.

In a quiet voice, Andrew said, "Mike's not coming back, is he?"

Shane closed his eyes. He had guessed Mike was shot before Andrew had run away, but the question confirmed that Andrew had witnessed Mike's death. _He's just a boy. He should never have seen that. _"No," Shane said softly, as he opened his eyes again. "Mike isn't coming back."

"I heard a loud noise and Mike fell down and didn't get up. That's when Mommy told me to hide." Andrew seemed to be looking past Shane, most likely, reliving the events of the attack.

Shane brushed Andrew's cheek. "You did everything you could, son. You were very brave."

Andrew closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked at Shane. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper. "It was so scary, Daddy."

"I know. . . ." Shane tried to think of something comforting to say, but he was feeling his anger rising. His anger at Cal Winters. Anger at Kimberly for being so foolish. And anger at himself for driving her away. _Focus on Andrew_, he reminded himself. "You don't have to be scared any more." _Let me do it for you. _"You're safe, and Mommy and Aunt Kayla will be too." Shane adjusted the blanket so it pulled over Andrew's shoulder. "Now why don't you try to get some sleep. That's what Dr. Curtis wants."

Andrew appeared to grow nervous. His eyes widened and his shoulders scrunched a little, but even that movement lasted briefly. Andrew seemed to have very little strength.

_He's probably worried about nightmares_. "You'll feel better after some sleep," Shane said. "And I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you wake up."

That seemed to work as Andrew's body relaxed. As Andrew closed his eyes, Shane sat on the edge of the bed and watched his son. Eventually, Andrew's breathing grew soft and steady as he drifted off. For the moment, he looked peaceful and innocent.

_This should never have happened_, Shane thought silently. _He's just a little boy. He should be safe from danger._

Shane shook his head. Ever since they had returned from England, Andrew had been in danger and Shane had never even considered Cal Winters a suspect. But it fit so well. Even in Shane's sleep-deprived and preoccupied brain, he understood that Cal had access to the shirt and keys. Attacking Andrew also made sense. Cal wanted Kim and Jeannie; Andrew was a tie to Shane that Cal would want to sever. In Cal's insane mind, with Andrew and Shane out of the way, Cal could take Kim and Jeannie and make some type of family.

"Jeannie!" The word came out loud as Shane stood up from the bed.

_Cal wants Jeannie_.

She was at Shawn and Caroline's, which was not secure. Shane had no idea when Cal would make his move, but it would happen. Cal would want his "family."

Shane glanced back at Andrew, remembering his promise to stay with the boy. But Shane also had to talk to Roman and make sure Jeannie was protected. She would come to the house. That made the most sense. She could stay here. Simmons could watch her, and it would be good for Andrew to have his sister close by.

_And I owe it to Kimberly._

He did. He owed it to her to keep her daughter safe. Right now. Turning, Shane left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He nearly sprinted to the stairs and raced down them, fueled by a sudden surge of energy.

"Roman!" he called out. "We need to get Jeannie here now."


	278. Chapter 278

The sun was rising steadily as Steve and Bo arrived back at Shane's house. Without a word, they exited the car and stormed into the house, not bothering to knock. Reaching the library, they found Roman studying a file at the desk.

"How the hell did Cal Winters get out of prison?" Steve and Bo asked, almost in unison. Steve had been steaming ever since Roman had told him what Andrew had said. Now he had a chance to vent.

Roman held up his hand. "Hold on. I know you're upset - so am I - but we don't know all the details yet."

"So why don't you tell us what you do know?" Steve snapped. "Besides the fact that a madman apparently escaped from prison and kidnapped my wife without anybody knowing."

Steve could see the anger flash in Roman's eyes, but did not care. While there was some small comfort in at least knowing where to start in his search for Kayla, it was cold comfort at best to learn it was Cal Winters.

"The FBI is investigating-" Roman started to say.

"Oh, now they are interested," Steve spat sarcastically. "Nice of them to finally decide to help."

"Are you done?" Roman asked, glaring at Steve.

Steve was about to retort when he felt Bo's hand on his shoulder. "Go ahead, Roman," Bo said calmly. "We're listening."

"As I said, the FBI is investigating," Roman continued. "They don't know too much yet, but it looks like the warden from the prison in Alaska covered up Winter's escape. The warden's conveniently disappeared, but it looks like a transfer was faked which allowed Winters to escape."

"And nobody figured this out until now?" Steve fought to control his anger. "Even when Andrew and Kim were threatened, nobody bothered to check on Winters?"

"I told you - the warden covered things up." Roman sounded frustrated. "Nobody would have known without flying to Alaska and looking in his cell."

"Son of a bitch," Steve growled. "How the hell did Winters get the warden to go along?" Steve thought for a moment. "And why would he have waited this long? He's been locked up for well over a year now, right?"

Roman ran a hand over his face. "The FBI is looking into that as well. Winters may have help out there."

"That's just great, Roman." Steve did not bother to hide his anger. "Not only does the psycho have Kayla and Kim, but he might have help in all of this?"

"Take it easy, Steve," Bo said, eyeing Steve carefully. "Yelling at Roman isn't going to help anything."

Steve took a deep breath. "Okay. . . . So we know it's Winters. What does that mean for finding Kayla and Kim?"

"We've put out an APB on him and alerted all the state and local authorities," Roman replied. "Hopefully somebody has seen him recently and can give us a place to start looking."

"A place to start!" Steve's emotions boiled over again. The fear Steve had felt earlier returned in full. Kayla was completely expendable to a guy like Winters. He had not hesitated to kill Mike and he had targeted Andrew. Kayla was in serious danger.

_If she's still alive._

Steve forced himself to push the thought aside. He could not think like that.

"Roman!" At the sound of Shane's voice, Steve turned toward the door. Shane rushed into the room, clearly agitated.

"We need to get Jeannie here now. If Cal Winters is out there-"

"Hold up, partner," Roman replied calmly. "Jeannie's with Ma and Pop and I've still got a squad car at the house. She's safe."

"You don't know that." Shane paced across the room and ran a hand through his hair. Steve noticed how disheveled Shane looked. The shirt he was wearing was hanging loose, one sleeve was rolled up, while the other flopped about, and it appeared that Shane had only buttoned about half the buttons on the front. But his appearance was probably the last thing on Shane's mind. "Winters isn't going to forget about his daughter. We have to keep her safe."

"She'd be safe if you had kept an eye on Winters," Steve snapped.

"Steve-" Bo started to interject.

"Come on, Bo," Steve continued. "You know I'm right. Besides . . . Jeannie would be here right now if Donovan had given a damn about her before now."

The words were barely out of his mouth before Steve was slammed backward and shoved against a wall. He stared into Shane's angry, bloodshot eyes.

"I've had about enough of your mouth," Shane growled.

Steve broke Shane's hold and shoved him away. Glaring, Steve said, "You're just mad because you know I'm right."

"That's enough from both of you." Roman grabbed Shane and pulled him away from Steve. Bo did the same with Steve. "You two going at it is not going to get us any closer to finding Kim and Kayla."

Steve pulled his arm free from Bo's grasp and spun away. Taking a deep breath, he tried to get his emotions under control. He knew Roman was right; it would not help to attack Shane.

As he was regaining control, Steve saw Neil enter the room. "Can you keep it down? Andrew's finally asleep."

"How is Andrew?" Bo asked. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Yes, I think so." Neil nodded. "Everything seems normal."

Steve felt a rush of relief at the news. At least one good thing had happened in this awful day.

"But he needs some rest," Neil added. "The four of you yelling at one another isn't helping."

Shane turned back to Roman. In a low voice, he said, "I meant what I said, Roman. I want Jeannie brought here immediately. If you won't do it, I'll go get her myself."

Roman eyed Shane closely. "I don't think you're in any condition to go anywhere, Shane. When's the last time you slept?"

"Roman's right," Bo chimed in. "You look dead on your feet, Gov'nor. Why don't you go up and get some sleep?" Bo glanced at Roman and Steve. "We'll make sure Jeannie gets here and is safe."

"I'm fine," Shane snapped. "So are you going to get Jeannie or do I need to get her myself?"

"I'll take care of it, partner." Roman said wearily. "Bo, why don't you call Ma and have her get Jeannie ready to go? I'll call the station and have somebody pick them up and bring the baby here."

Bo nodded and walked to the phone, as Shane began to pace again. He seemed so wired that Steve suspected Shane probably could not have sat still if he tried. His right hand kept punching his left palm as he walked and his shoulders shook with each step, as if they were fighting the tension. Something in the way he walked reminded Steve of a coil being pulled back, tighter and tighter, until it exploded.

Meanwhile, Roman walked over to Neil and pulled him into the foyer. Steve wondered briefly what that was about, but his mind shifted quickly back to the present situation. Kayla was in the hands of a madman and he still had no idea how to find her.

_I can't stay here_, Steve thought. But where would he go? He had tried every place he could think, and if any news came about Kayla, it would come here to Roman. But Steve still could not stay there. The stress and tension in the room was too much. _I have to get out of here._

Even a brief escape would help. Steve decided he could get some air. Ignoring Bo's question about where he was going, Steve walked quickly out of the room, passed Roman who was whispering to Neil, and headed for the kitchen door that opened into garden.

The air was cold and crisp when Steve got outside. He pulled his jacket tighter around him and wandered aimlessly on the grounds. As he walked, one thought kept repeating in his head.

_Don't give up, Sweetness. No matter what, don't give up._


	279. Chapter 279

Shane listened as Bo talked to Caroline. It sounded like she was resisting.

"Tell her Jeannie's not safe," Shane said anxiously. When Bo waved his hand dismissively, Shane repeated, "Tell her."

"Ma, please . . . Just do what I'm asking. A cop will be over to get her." Bo rolled his eyes. "If it's Cal Winters in a police uniform then he's psychic. I think you'll know it's a real cop."

Shane felt a surge of anger. This was not a time to make jokes. Scowling, Shane stopped pacing and glared at Bo until the other man hung up the phone.

"You think this is bloody funny, Bo? Your sisters are in the hands of a madman and you're cracking jokes?"

"Shane . . . come on, man." Bo held up his hands. "I was just trying to get Ma to agree."

"It's still not funny," Shane said. He knew Bo understood the severity of the situation, but Shane was on edge. He wanted Jeannie safe immediately. Not in 20 minutes or an hour. Now.

And he wanted information. Now.

Roman returned from the foyer. "Shane, you really need to calm down."

"How can I calm down?" Shane asked. "I should have made sure Cal was behind bars. How the bloody hell did he escape without us knowing about it?"

Roman sighed, as if he was tired of the question. "We don't know exactly how he got out. All we know is that his escape was covered up by the warden - who's conveniently disappeared."

"Oh, that's just great." Shane felt his fury growing anew. "So we know Winters had an accomplice but we can't find him or learn what he knows. He should've been on the FBI and ISA radars." Shane spun away and slammed his palm on the desk. He knew a lot of his anger was misdirected. It was not Roman's fault. Hell, it was a lot less Roman's fault than it was his own. Shane had been in position to investigate the attacks on Andrew and had still been with the ISA when he began to suspect Jericho. There had been time to investigate Winters.

_Steve's right. If I had looked into Cal, none of this would have happened._

"Dammit," he spat. "We have to find them."

"We will, Shane." Roman was trying to sound reassuring, but Shane was having none of it.

"Don't patronize me." Shane's voice was barely below a shout. "You've got nothing or you wouldn't be sitting here."

Shane stepped toward Roman, but Bo cut off his path. "Come on, Shane. Don't lose it, man. Roman and Abe are doing everything they can. It's only been a few hours."

Bo did not understand, Shane thought. A few hours were usually the difference in a kidnapping. The more time that passed without a lead, the less likely the victim would be found alive. But Shane did not voice that thought. He just turned and ran his hands through his hair.

_It's all my fault. _The thought kept running through his head as he began pacing again.

"Look," Roman said. "Why don't you sit down?"

"I don't want to sit," Shane shot back. He saw Roman and Bo exchange looks. "So what do we know? Tell me."

Roman rolled his eyes. "You need to relax." He paused. "Look . . . how about a cup of tea? Isn't that what Ms. Peach always says you should do at a time like this?"

The last thing Shane wanted was tea, but if it would stop Roman pestering him about staying calm, so be it. "Fine. But then you're going to tell me everything you know."

"Okay, partner." Roman walked over to the tea service and began pouring a couple of cups.

As he did that, Bo asked, "So what happened between you and Kim?"

Shane knew Bo meant to be asking why Kim moved out and wound up on Route 6 in the middle of the night. "I'm not going to discuss that with you," Shane said, curtly. "It's between me and Kim."

"Okay, okay." Bo fell silent as Roman handed Shane a cup and saucer.

Taking a sip, Shane felt a little calm return. There was some truth to Peachy's claim that a cup of tea could work wonders in a crisis. After taking a deep breath and another sip, Shane looked at Roman. "So, now, would you please tell me what we know?"

Roman nodded. "The lab matched some blood in the car to Kayla. That same blood was on Kim's jacket. We suspect that Kim used the coat to stop the bleeding. The M.E. says he doesn't think it's enough blood to be life-threatening. The lab also identified the car that attacked Kim as a blue Ford Taurus. It's probably the same car that nearly hit Andrew and Kim near the fish market.

"So Cal tried to run down Kim, but then hired someone else to shoot up the school?" Something about that seemed strange to Shane. He drank a little more tea.

"Maybe he just used the same car and had someone else do his dirty work the last time," Bo said. "Then he needed a car tonight and it was available."

That was plausible, Shane thought. "So where's the car now?"

"We're looking all over for it. No sign yet, but it will turn up." Roman sounded certain. "It has too much damage to go unnoticed."

Shane nodded and then felt a little light-headed. He blinked a couple of times.

"Hey . . . you okay, there, Gov'nor?" Bo asked.

"Yes," Shane replied, even though he felt a little unsteady. He set the tea cup down on his desk and leaned against it for support. He blinked again. "Are you checking Brookville? And what if Cal dumped the car in the woods? He could have a hideout there."

Roman may have nodded, but Shane could not tell, because his vision seemed blurry. He heard Roman, though. "We're scouring the woods. Now that it's light, the chopper will go up and look for any signs in the woods."

Shane struggled to hear those last words. They seemed to dissolve and become very slow and drawn out. Shane shook his head again, trying to clear it, but that only made him more dizzy. The room seemed to be moving, the furniture growing larger and distorted.

_What's happening_? Shane wondered. _I was fine until. . . . _

He looked down at the cup sitting on the desk, having to squint just to make it out among the swirling haze that was clouding his vision. Then he looked up at Roman, who was walking toward him.

"You didn't. . . ."

The three Roman's approaching all shrugged.

_No_, Shane thought, as he fought against the drug. _I have to stay awake. I have to find them. I have to be here for Andrew. _He tried to step forward, past the multitude of Romans and Bos who were swarming around him, but his legs gave way and he slumped forward.

Roman and Bo caught him before he hit the floor. They looked at a now-unconscious Shane and Roman sighed. "Sorry, partner. . . . But you'll thank me and Neil later."

"You'd better hope so," Bo muttered. He took another look at Shane and shook his head. "Come on. Let's get Sleeping Beauty upstairs and let him sleep this off."


	280. Chapter 280

Steve was not sure how long he had wandered around the grounds outside Shane's house. All he knew was that sun was slowing burning off the frost from the night before and the cold snap seemed to be lifting slightly.

Walking back into the garden, Steve took a seat on the bench and rubbed his hands over his face. The long day and night were catching up to him, but even the exhaustion he was beginning to feel could not compete with the overwhelming fear that threatened to break through the last pieces of his self-control.

Steve could never remember being this frightened. The closest that came to mind was when Stephanie had been kidnapped by that psycho nanny, Sheila. Yet even that had been different because he had never truly feared that Sheila would harm Stephanie.

But Steve had no doubt that Cal would hurt - even kill - Kayla if he felt it was necessary or even just convenient.

It seemed almost ridiculous even to him given all that he and Kayla had been through, but this was the first time Steve had been forced to face the idea that he really might lose Kayla. Whenever she had been sick or injured in the past, he'd been scared - terrified - but his heart had never truly believed he would lose her.

But this was different. The other times, she was just sick or injured, but with doctors he trusted to take care of her around or in some situation where he at least had some measure of control. And, this time, she was not being held by somebody who was simply using her for leverage like Victor had.

No, this time, she was in the hands of a madman who had already shown that he had no conscience or hesitation in killing anybody who got in his way. And Steve had no control over anything right now.

As he sat on the bench in the garden, pictures of his life with Kayla flashed through his mind. Little moments like her smile, the way her eyes would light up when she was happy, or how they would darken when they made love. He had said it a million times, but it did not make it any less true - she was his life and he had no idea how to live without her.

Needing some kind of distraction before his thoughts drove him crazy, Steve got up and walked back into the house. Roman was on the phone at Shane's desk. There was no sign of Bo or Shane.

As Steve poured himself a cup of coffee, Roman hung up the phone. Steve did not even bother to ask the question; he just looked at Roman and quirked a brow.

Roman shook his head in response. "Nothing new, really. The boys in the lab got enough debris off of Cal's car to identify the make and color, but we haven't been able to find it yet."

"Are you checking all the backroads that Bo and I started on?" Steve asked.

"Yeah." Roman stifled a yawn. "I've got units out and a helicopter up in the air looking as well. We've also got people out talking to the farmers and landowners in the area. Maybe somebody saw or heard something that will give us the break we need."

"Maybe." Steve was not feeling any optimism. There were thousands of acres of land in the surrounding area. Searching them all would take weeks.

"So where are Bo and Shane?" Steve asked idly.

"Bo went home to check on Shawn Douglas and freshen up." Roman glanced at the stairs. "And Shane is . . . uh . . . sleeping."

"Really?" Steve was surprised. "I figured he'd still be down here pacing."

"Well, he probably would be if we hadn't . . . helped him get to sleep," Roman said with a small smile. At Steve's raised eyebrow, Roman continued. "The guy hasn't slept in days and he was about to lose it, so I had Neil give me something to spike his tea."

Steve had to chuckle at the thought of Mr. Uptight Spy being drugged. But he also knew that Roman would not have done it unless it was absolutely necessary. "So I guess he'll be out for a while then."

"A few more hours, probably." Roman checked his watch. "Maybe you should go home and get some sleep yourself. You know I'll call you if anything changes."

Steve shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are." Roman did not bother to hide his disbelief. "It's not going to do anyone any good if you put yourself in as bad a state as Shane was this morning."

"I said I'm fine, Roman." Steve's voice was firm. "Besides I want to be here if you get any news."

"All right." Roman held up his hands in surrender. "Simmons said he set up one of the guest rooms upstairs for us to use if we want. So if you change your mind, you can catch a nap there."

Steve nodded and turned back to his coffee as Roman reached for the phone again. The truth was Steve was tired, but he could not bear the thought of going back to his apartment without Kayla there. But with no news and no new leads to pursue, a little nap might not be a bad idea. The last thing he wanted was for Roman to decide to drug him too.

Putting down his coffee cup, Steve walked out of the room and headed up the stairs. Even with all that had happened, he could not help but feel a little awkward as he remembered that Kayla and Stephanie had once lived here.

Walking down the hall, he passed a couple of closed rooms, including the master bedroom on the right. He could see an open door down near the end of the hall and figured that was probably the guest room. As he walked in that direction he heard a voice calling out:

"Daddy! Daddy!"

That was Andrew, Steve immediately realized. He must have woken up and was now calling for Shane. Unfortunately, from what Roman had said, Shane was not going to hear Andrew's cries.

Hurrying forward, Steve pushed open the door to Andrew's room and saw him sitting up in bed, his eyes wide and scared.

"Hey, little dude." Steve walked towards the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Where's my daddy?" Andrew sounded scared and confused.

"He's just down the hall in his room," Steve replied, sounding as casual as possible. He sat down on the edge of Andrew's bed. "He's taking a little nap just like you're supposed to be doing."

Andrew looked at Steve like he almost did not believe him. His dark eyes narrowed with mistrust. Steve could hardly blame the kid, given all he had been through recently. Shaking his head, Andrew finally said, "Daddy promised me he'd be here when I woke up."

Reaching out, Steve brushed some hair out of Andrew's eyes and said, "I'm sure he did. But your daddy has been working really, really hard to find your mommy and Aunt Kayla."

Andrew slid away from Steve's hand and pulled his knees to his chest. In a voice tinged with anger, he asked, "Why should I believe you?"

Steve was taken aback by Andrew's anger. He was not accustomed to having a five-year-old accuse him of lying. "I'm telling the truth, Andrew." Steve took a second to think through how to explain the situation. "Look . . . have you ever tried to stay awake, but fell asleep anyway?"

Andrew pursed his lips, but eventually nodded. "I tried to stay up for Santa last Christmas."

Steve chuckled softly. "And even though you wanted to stay awake, you fell asleep, right?"

Andrew nodded again.

"Well, that's kind of what happened with your daddy. He wanted to stay up, but he was really tired and fell asleep. You can understand that, right? He really is just down the hall, sleeping."

Andrew seemed to accept that explanation and was quiet for a moment. The he looked at Steve and said, "When Daddy wakes up, is he going to go find Mommy and bring her home?"

Steve's heart nearly broke at the faith and hope in the boy's voice. Everything inside of him wanted to simply say yes, but he could not quite do it.

"We're all doing everything we can to find your mommy and Aunt Kayla," Steve said, putting his hand on Andrew's shoulder. "We're not going to stop until we find them. I promise you."

Andrew did not pull away this time. He nodded and then looked up at Steve. "Are you scared for Aunt Kayla like I'm scared for Mommy?"

Again Steve nearly choked at the simple emotion in Andrew's question. Not trusting his voice, Steve just nodded. After a moment, he said, "Yeah. I am. But I believe that your Mommy and Aunt Kayla will be coming home soon, and I need you to believe that too. Can you do that?"

Andrew nodded solemnly. "Good," Steve said. "Now, why don't you lay back down and try to go back to sleep."

Still nodding, Andrew snuggled back down into his bed and wrapped his arms around his teddy bear. Almost without thinking, Steve pulled his harmonica from his back pocket and softly played a lullaby, just as he often did for Stephanie. Soon Andrew's eyes grew heavy and Steve finished his song.

"Sleep well, little dude," Steve whispered as he stood up and walked out of the room. As he continued his journey to the guest room, he felt his fear dissipate just a little. He had meant what he had said to Andrew - Steve did believe Kim and Kayla would be coming home, and none of them would stop until that happened.


	281. Chapter 281

_I would know if he was dead._

That thought kept running through Kim's head as she leaned against the wall of their prison. Andrew was okay. He had to be okay. She would feel it if he wasn't. Wouldn't she?

Across the room, Kayla seemed to be sleeping, but there was nothing calm or restful about it. Her breathing was shallow and she kept turning as if she was struggling to find a comfortable position.

_I'm so sorry, little sister._ No matter what Kayla said, this mess was all Kim's fault. She was the one who had gotten involved with Cal Winters in the first place, and she was the one who had pushed Kayla to go out the night before.

That was the night before, wasn't it? In the windowless room, Kim had no real idea of time, but she was sure they had been here for hours. It was probably still morning, since Cal had not returned with lunch - assuming he intended to bring something.

As if on cue, Kim heard the sound of the someone fiddling with the lock. She pulled away from the wall and stood upright. She did not want Cal to see her fear.

"Hello, ladies," Cal said, as he entered the room. He was carrying a plate with a couple of sandwiches. "I hope you like PB&J."

Kim glanced over at the cot and saw that Kayla had been roused by Cal's entrance. Her face looked pale, except for the gash on her forehead.

"Cal . . . please. . . ." Kim watched as he set the plate on the desk and did a quick examination of the room, probably looking for signs of an escape attempt. "Why don't you let Kayla go? You don't want her. I know its me you want."

Cal responded with a soft chuckle. "That would make things a bit easier, wouldn't it?"

For an instant, Kim was hopeful. Maybe he could be convinced. "Just let Kayla go, Cal. You can't hurt her, I told you. Then you won't get what you want."

"You think you're in a position to negotiate with me." Something flashed in his eyes. "There's no negotiating, Kim. This time, everything's going to go how I've planned it."

A chill swept through her. She looked at Kayla, who looked back, unable to hide the fear in her eyes. Hesitantly, Kim asked, "What do you have planned?"

"All in good time, my love. All in good time."

Kim shook her head. "Please, Cal, just tell me."

"You always were persistent," Cal said. He grinned slyly, but his smile and tone chilled Kim. "Let's just say that we're going to go away and be together like we always should have. This time, nobody's going to get in the way. Like I said, everything's going to go according to my plan."

From the other side of the room, Kayla said, bitterly, "I wasn't part of your plan."

Cal looked toward the cot. "No, you weren't, but that's a minor matter - one that could be eliminated at any time."

Kim held up a hand before Kayla could respond. "Kay . . ." Kim hoped the warning was obvious. She did not want to antagonize Cal. "Let Kayla go and we can go back to your original plan. You don't need her."

"Oh, but I do," Cal said. "She may not have been part of my plan, but she has been incorporated." He turned back to Kim. "She's my insurance - just in case you decide not to cooperate. And she could turn out to be a bargaining chip. Since they probably know I've got you, they might not believe I'd ever hurt you. But your sister. . . . That'll make them pause."

The venom in his words made Kim shiver and she looked down._ How are we going to get out of this_? she wondered. Then something Cal said registered. _"Since they probably know I've got you. . . _." There was only one way they could know. Kim raised her head and glanced at Kayla, whose eyes shone with the same realization.

"Andrew's okay!" Kim blurted out. Andrew was the only way they could have found out Cal had captured them. Her body shook with relief. "They found him and he's okay."

Cal flushed a little and looked away. "I didn't say that." But his body language was all the confirmation Kim needed.

"Oh, thank God," Kim said.

Cal turned back and glared at her. "It doesn't matter. I told you that little brat's none of your concern anymore."

"He's her son," Kayla said angrily. "Of course, he is her concern. You can't just order her not to care."

Kim grabbed Cal's arm before he could say anything. His face had contorted in fury, and Kim pulled him toward her - away from Kayla.

"Thank you for telling me," she said, in a soft voice that she hoped convinced Cal that she was being sincere. "I was so worried."

Cal seemed confused momentarily, caught between responding harshly to Kayla's remark and softening in the face of Kim's fake gratitude. Kim won. He turned to her. "You'll never have to worry again, Kimberly. I'm going to take you away from all of this pain and torture." He reached out and cupped her chin in his hand. "We'll be so happy."

_He's insane_. He was smiling as if he thought it would really happen. Kim started to pull away.

"I'm going to take you away so none of this is going to matter." He stepped toward the door.

"When?" Kayla asked. "When are you taking Kim?" Kim felt her chest constrict at the question. Kayla was asking when Cal was going to kill her.

Cal chuckled as he opened the door to leave. "Soon enough for you. Let's just say that, before Kimberly and I leave Salem for good, I have to take care of a few loose ends." Then he gave Kim one last smile and walked out, locking the door behind him.

_Loose ends_. Cal's words echoed in Kim's ears as she turned back to Kayla.

"I'm guessing I'm one of those 'loose ends,'" Kayla said, a tremor in her voice.

"I'm not going to let Cal hurt you, Kay." Kim sat down on the cot next to her sister. "I promise you that."

"I know you want to protect me, Kim." Kayla smiled softly before her expression turned fearful. "But we both know that you're not going to be able to stop Cal when he decides it's time to leave."

"You don't know that," Kim insisted. She refused to believe that there was not a way out of this situation. She just had to figure out what it was.

Knowing they needed their strength, Kim reached for one of the sandwiches and handed it to Kayla. Again, Cal's words echoed in her ears. _Loose ends_. She knew Cal was not just referring to Kayla. If that were the case, he could have killed her already and taken Kim away. No, Cal was also referring to Jeannie - and maybe even Shane and Andrew.

Trying to control the fear threatening to overtake her, Kim stood up and walked to the other side of the small room.

"Kim?" Kayla called out. "What's wrong?"

Kim felt the tears begin to fall down her cheeks. "He's going after Jeannie and probably Shane and Andrew as well." She turned back to Kayla. "He doesn't want to leave any 'loose ends' behind. He doesn't want any attachments left for me. I know him and he's going to try and get Jeannie and bring her with us and. . . ." She could not finish her thought.

Kayla pulled herself from the cot and walked gingerly to Kim. "You listen to me Kimberly Brady," Kayla said forcefully, staring into her sister's eyes. "Shane and Steve and our brothers will take care of the kids, and we will find a way out of here. We have been through way to much in our lives to give up now. Do you understand me?"

Kim gave a wan smile and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I hear you loud and clear, baby sister." She took a deep breath. "You're right. We can find a way out of here and we will."

"Right." Kayla nodded firmly.

"Right," Kim repeated more softly. _Now I just have to figure out how we're going to do that._


	282. Chapter 282

As Shane cracked his eyes opened, it took him a moment to recognize his own bedroom. _How did I get here_? He tried to lift his head, but his body did not seem to want to cooperate. _What happened_?

He tried to think of the last thing he could remember. Bo was on the phone . . . _Why_? Shane searched his mind, which was so cloudy.

_Jeannie_. Bo was arranging for Jeannie to come to the house. _Jeannie's in danger_.

Then it all came flooding back. Cal. Kim and Kayla being taken. Andrew nearly dying.

_How could I have forgotten, even for a moment_? _How could I have fallen asleep?_

Then he remembered Roman and the cup of tea.

"That bloody bastard," Shane muttered, as he forced himself to move and stumbled out of his bed. Whatever drug they had given him still was in his system. His limbs felt heavy and his vision was still cloudy. But he willed himself to the bathroom where he turned on some cold water and splashed it over his face.

Staring into the mirror, Shane realized that he looked like hell. Even after some sleep, he was still pale and his eyes were bloodshot and heavy-lidded. He also realized that the shirt he was wearing was only half-buttoned and even the closed buttons did not align properly with the right holes.

_No wonder they drugged me._

He took a few deep breaths, splashed some more water over his face, and then unbuttoned and rebuttoned his shirt. Turning, he walked slowly and a bit unsteadily back into the bedroom. The clock said it was 2:15 and, from the light streaming through the windows, Shane realized it was afternoon. He had been asleep for hours.

Maybe there was some news. And what about Andrew? Shane was torn between rushing downstairs and checking on his son, but then remembered that he had promised to be with Andrew when he woke up. Had that happened?

Leaving the bedroom, Shane made his way toward Andrew's bedroom. Neil was in the hall, just stepping out. For a moment, Neil looked nervous as Shane approached.

_I guess I know where Roman got the drug._

Neil shifted uncomfortably.

"It's okay," Shane said. There was no point causing a lot of conflict. What was done was done, and they could not change it - though Shane was going to make sure it never happened again. Shane motioned to the door. "How is he?"

"He's asleep," Neil replied. "But his vitals are pretty much back to normal and, with the motor skills tests I did earlier, I think it's safe to say he won't have any lasting problems. Just make sure he gets rest for the next day or two. I think, after that, he should be back to normal."

Shane let out a deep breath as relief flooded him. Then, he felt a stab of guilt. "Has he been awake? I told him I'd be here."

Neil nodded. "He's woken a few times and asked for you, but we told him you were sleeping. He seemed okay with it." Neil checked his watch. "I'm going to head back to the hospital. I'll check back in a few hours."

"Thank you," Shane said. "You don't know how much-"

Neil cut him off. "It's nothing. Now, you . . . you find Kim and Kayla, and don't kill yourself in the process. Your family needs you, Shane."

As Neil left, Shane slowly opened the door to Andrew's room and stepped inside. Andrew was sleeping and, from the light coming through the curtains, looked healthy again. His color seemed normal, not that pale, sickly color of earlier. His head was resting on his teddy bear and he was breathing easily.

"Thank you," Shane said softly, looking up. "Thank you for my son."

He watched Andrew sleep for a few minutes and then backed out of the room, closing the door carefully so as not to wake the boy. Then he walked toward the stairs and ran into Simmons, who was carrying a large bag of diapers.

"Oh, Sir . . . I was just bringing these up to the nursery."

Shane nodded. "So I guess Jeannie's here?"

"Yes, Sir. I just put her down for a nap." When Shane said nothing more, Simmons continued on his way to the room where Jeannie was sleeping. Instead of following, Shane headed downstairs.

Roman was the only one in the library, and he was on the phone when Shane entered.

"Look, man, I don't want your bureaucratic B.S. Get that car checked out right away," Roman barked into the phone. "Prints, fibers, whatever you find. Have the lab work overtime; there are lives at stake." At that moment, he looked up and spotted Shane in the doorway. "I've got to go. But call me the minute you have anything."

He hung up the phone and looked a little nervous. "You're probably pretty pissed off right now, aren't you?" He looked down. "You were pretty out of control, partner. I didn't know what else to do."

"There's no point belaboring things," Shane said. "Just think about when Carrie or Marlena was missing. How would you feel if I'd drugged you and taken you out of the search?" He did not say anything more, but knew he got his point across when Roman gave a small nod. It would never happen again.

Changing the subject, Shane looked at the phone. "So I gather they found Cal's car?"

"Yeah . . . off a tiny road off the road that leads to Green Oaks. It looks like he had another car stashed there."

Shane tried to think a little. The fog in his brain seemed to have lifted and he pieced things together. "Green Oaks. . . . That's miles away from Route 6. So Cal had another car waiting there for whenever he got the right opportunity."

_Which I gave him._

Shane walked over to the couch and sat down. "How could I have been so stupid?"

"It's not your fault," Roman said.

"Say that all you want, but do you know how many times I thought about flying to Alaska to find out if Cal knew anything about those packages Kim get getting?" Shane shook his head angrily. "A couple hours on a plane . . . That's all it would have took, and we would've known Cal was on the loose."

Roman grimaced. "Would you stop blaming yourself? We all should have checked on Cal. Remember . . . I was overseeing the labs on that stuff. There's no point right now. We have APBs on Cal and we may know from the tire tracks what kind of car Cal is now driving."

That was probably the best clue they had, but it did not really mollify Shane. "What about planes and helicopters? Cal's a pilot."

"We've got watches at all the airports. All planes going in and out are under watch and air traffic control is on alert for anything that does not have a filed flight-plan. I'm telling you, partner, it's under control."

Shane rubbed his eyes. He could still feel some of the effects of the drug. "And you've checked out the mountains - where Cal took Kim the last time?"

"Yes," Roman said, his voice rising slightly. "You know, Shane, the ISA aren't the only folks who can conduct an investigation."

Feeling a little sheepish about that, Shane looked down. "I know. . . . I know you're trying. It's just infuriating that there's nothing more we can do when scum like Cal Winters is out there and Kim and Kayla are in danger."

"We'll find them." Roman spoke with confidence. "Look, I'm going to go into the kitchen and get a refill on coffee. The pot's gone cold in here. You probably could use something to eat, too."

Shane shook his head. The last thing he wanted was food. He waved a hand. "Go on. I'll wait here in case the phone rings."

As Roman left, Shane got up and walked over to his desk. He opened up the top drawer and pulled out the jewelry box that held the cameo. Pulling it out, he held the delicate broach in his hand and, for a moment, he could feel Kim's presence. He said a silent prayer that she was unharmed and that she and Kayla could just hang on.

He stared at the carved figure solemnly as he pledged, "I'm going to find you, Kim. I'm going to find you and I'm going to bring you home. Just hang on, my love. Just hang on."


	283. Chapter 283

Steve parked Shane's car in front of the house, leaned back against the seat, and reviewed the events of the day. After a short and fitful nap, he had given up trying to get any sleep and had headed back out to continue his search for any clue that would lead him to Kim and Kayla.

Instead of roaming aimlessly around the streets of Salem, Steve had concentrated on his old stomping grounds of the riverfront. There were numerous abandoned and semi-abandoned buildings in the old warehouse district that could serve as hiding places.

Unfortunately, hours of searching had turned up little more than rats and homeless people looking to escape the chilly weather.

When searching buildings had proved fruitless, Steve had turned to his next best asset - the people of the riverfront area, itself. He knew those people well; many were still friends of his. They were generally suspicious of anything related to law enforcement, and would be unlikely to voluntary report any information to the cops. But they would tell him.

So Steve had spent a lot of time talking to the regulars at the Cheating Heart and the people working on the loading docks. He passed around pictures of Kim and Kayla and the latest picture of Cal that Roman had been able to get his hands on.

Jimmy had agreed to post the pictures at the Heart and ask anybody coming in if they had seen the people pictured. Several people had promised to keep their eyes and ears open, and would call Steve or Jimmy with any information they had.

Steve knew that if somebody was looking for a person to do something for money without any questions asked, the riverfront was the place to find them. Hopefully, if Cal was looking for any kind of help, the people of the riverfront would hear about it and somebody would contact him.

Too exhausted to move just yet, Steve thought guiltily about Stephanie. He had not seen her since Kayla had left for work the previous morning. He knew he should stop by Shawn and Caroline's. But, he could not make himself go. He did not know how to look at his little girl without losing it, and that was something he could not afford to do right now.

Sighing, Steve forced himself to get out of the car and go back into the house. Maybe Roman had come up with some new information, although Steve was sure that if it was anything important Roman would have called him on Shane's car phone.

Walking in the door, he went straight to the library and found Shane sitting at the desk.

"Looks like sleeping beauty finally woke up," Steve said without humor as he walked to the coffee pot.

Shane's eyes narrowed at Steve's jibe, but he remained silent. Steve poured a cup of coffee and then nearly choked when he took a drink of the cold, dark sludge.

"Oh yeah," Shane said without looking up. "Should have had that replaced. Roman said something about cold coffee, and making a fresh pot in the kitchen. Though that was a few hours ago."

"Gee, thanks." Steve replied sarcastically. "So where's Roman now?"

"He went to the station to check some things out."

Steve glanced about the room. "Did Roman come up with any new information?"

"Nothing that gives us any clue where Kim and Kayla might be." Shane ran his hand through his hair. "They found the car that he used to run them off the road out in the middle of nowhere several miles from Route 6, but Cal obviously had a second car stashed and waiting."

"I'm guessing the car was clean?" Steve asked, knowing the answer.

Shane nodded. "The lab's working on it, but there's nothing noteworthy thus far, I guess. At least nobody has called with any information." He looked at Steve. "How about you? Did you find anything?"

Steve shook his head. "I pounded the pavement down by the riverfront and put the word out with a bunch of people down there. If they hear anything, they'll be in contact."

"Weren't those guys who wanted to 'teach me a lesson' not that long ago from the riverfront?" Shane asked with a doubtful look. "What makes you think they'll help you now?"

Steve felt his anger rise in the face of Shane's obvious doubts. "Because I know those people down there," he snapped as he walked towards Shane. "I didn't spend all day down there for my health. They're my friends and if they can help find Kim and Kayla, they will."

"All right," Shane said, holding up his hands. "Let's just hope somebody calls with a lead. I don't like that we haven't heard a damn thing."

"Yeah, let's hope." Steve's anger was still burning and he could not resist another shot. "Of course, we wouldn't need leads if somebody had been keeping track of Cal Winters in the first place."

"So you've told me already," Shane replied coldly. "But, then again, I'd have a lot better chance of finding him now if I still had my ISA contacts and access to the ISA database - which, thanks to you, I don't."

"Oh . . . so all of this is my fault now?" Steve took a step towards Shane.

"Well, your bloody big mouth certainly didn't help anything did it?" Shane stood up and leaned over the desk. "Maybe if I hadn't been busy dealing with being arrested and dismissed from the ISA, I might have had a chance to discover that Cal had escaped."

"And maybe if you'd have just taken a day to go check on the psycho yourself, Kim and Kayla would be home and Andrew wouldn't have nearly died," Steve yelled back. "Maybe then Kayla would be in the hands of a maniac, hurt, and God knows what else."

Shane stepped around the desk and Steve readied himself for the coming blow. But before Shane could take a swing, a voice called out from behind the doorway.

"Whoa! Looks like I arrived at a bad time." Jack stared at the two men. "Or maybe just in time."

"What the hell are you doing here, Jack?" Shane's voice was still cold. "And how did you get in?"

"Your butler let me in," Jack said carefully. "I told him I needed to talk to Steve."

"What do you want, Jack?" Steve asked tiredly. He was in no mood to deal with Jack right now.

"I needed to ask you something . . ." Jack hesitated. "Actually, I guess I need to ask both of you. See . . . um . . . the thing is . . ." he stopped.

"Spit it out, Jack," Shane snapped.

"Okay, okay." Jack took another step into the room. "I just thought you might want to know that the wires are all going nuts with this kidnapping story right now. It's huge national news" Jack paused again as if picking his words. "It seems that . . . well, some of the commentators, including our mutual friend, Rachel Knight, are suggesting that - maybe - the whole thing has been staged to create sympathy for the alleged traitor facing espionage charges."

"What?" Steve could not believe his ears. "Somebody out there honestly thinks we've staged this whole thing?"

"No," Shane replied dryly. "Somebody out there thinks that it makes a better story to promote that speculation."

"So . . . ." Jack raised an eyebrow. "I take it that you two are denying that speculation?"

"Jack!" Steve growled.

"Sorry," Jack said, taking a step back. "I just needed an official denial for my rebuttal story. Now I've got one."

Shane was glaring at Jack, but before he could say a word, the telephone rang. He grabbed it quickly. "Roman? Oh . . . Mickey. . . ."

Steve saw Jack's eyes widen slightly, but then Jack caught Steve's look and quickly looked away, clearly trying to hide his interest in Shane's conversation.

"No, it's okay," Shane said. "There isn't really a good time right now. I'm just . . . not alone. Let me move to the other phone and we can discuss matters." He set the phone down on the desk. "I'm going to go take care of this in the study. Can you hang up in a minute?" Even as he said that to Steve, Shane was eying Jack.

Steve nodded. "Yeah. Go on."

As Shane walked out, Jack continued to act like he was not interested in the phone. "Don't even think about it, Jackson," Steve muttered, shaking his head as he picked up the receiver. A moment later, he heard a click and Shane's voice. "Okay," Steve said. "I'm hanging up."

After he hung up the phone, he turned around toward Jack. "So what else do you want, Jack?"

"Nothing but to tell you what I said." Jack shrugged. "Sorry if I interrupted anything."

Steve gave a harsh chuckle. "Just another fight between Shane and me. It seems to be all we do lately."

"I take it you don't have any leads?" Jack asked.

Steve eyed his brother carefully. "Are you asking as my brother or as a reporter? Because if you are here as a reporter, you can go down to the police station and get whatever information they will give you."

Jack looked hurt at first, but then just sighed. "I'm asking as your brother. Everything is off the record."

"I wish I was sure I could believe that," Steve replied. "But I guess it doesn't really matter because I can only give you the same answer the PD would give you. We don't know anything yet."

Jack nodded. "I was afraid of that." He checked his watch. "I need to get back so that I can get this rebuttal article out for the evening deadlines." He turned and walked to the door and stopped. "I know you're going to find them, Steve." He smiled softly. "That's what you do."


	284. Chapter 284

Shane waited until he heard the phone click in the other room. "Sorry about that, Mickey, but Jack Devereaux stopped by and I figure you don't want this discussion on the front page of the Spectator."

"No . . . not really," Mickey said. "I'm just glad I got you. I've been trying to get through to the house all day, but the phone has been busy."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

There was a pause. "So I heard the news about Kim and Kayla. Is there any word?"

"No," Shane replied. "We're just praying everything turns out okay."

Mickey hesitated before he spoke again. "I hate to bring this up, Shane, but reporters keep calling me. They want a statement. And. . . ." Mickey paused again. "Well . . . you have to know that there are some conspiracy nuts out there-"

"Who think this is all a bloody fake." Shane finished Mickey's sentence for him. "Jack just mentioned that - while asking if it's true." _If only it was._ "No, Mickey . . . this is very real. We know who's behind it. . . . Cal Winters." Shane frowned slightly. _Wasn't that news_? "I thought the Salem PD issued a statement earlier. I know there's an APB out. Didn't you hear about that?"

"I did, but I don't have to tell you about some of the reporters who've invaded Salem," Mickey explained. "But you don't have to convince me. When I heard Andrew had been hurt. . . . There's no way you or Kim would put your son in harm's way. He's all right, I hope?"

"Yes," Shane said, saying a silent prayer of thanks. "Neil says he should be fine."

"I'm glad." Another pause. "There's something else I really hate to bring up . . . I mean, with everything going on . . . but when I heard the news about Kim and Kayla this morning, I figured I should hold off calling Louis Pasqua."

_Pasqua_? Shane was confused for a moment, but then he remembered that it was only the evening before that he had called Mickey about the plea deal. "Oh . . . of course," Shane said. "I guess . . . that really does make the most sense. I shouldn't really do anything now, I mean, not until I know Kim is safe and home."

"Okay," Mickey replied. "You just hang in there and take care of your family."

Hanging up, Shane sighed. It seemed like ages ago that his life was centered around how he was going to deal with the criminal charges. Right now, his only concern was Kim and the children. But in the back of his mind, he had to momentarily wonder: _What will happen if we don't find Kim_? _What will happen to Andrew and Jeannie_? If Shane was in prison, who would take care of the children?

The thought weighed heavily on his mind as he walked back to the foyer. He was unsure if Jack was still with Steve in the library, but he went to the stairs without checking. He wanted to check on Andrew. Reaching the door to Andrew's room, Shane poked his head inside and saw that Andrew was sleeping

Neil had said the boy should rest so Shane stood just inside the doorway and watched Andrew sleep. Then Shane spotted Andrew's teddy bear on the floor. Walking over to it, Shane bent over and picked it up. Carefully, so as not to wake Andrew, Shane tucked the bear against Andrew's arm. He stirred slightly, then pulled the bear tightly against his body.

_We have to find you, Kimberly_, he said silently. _Your children need you._

"I need you," he whispered.

Turning, Shane left the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him. Maybe Jack was gone and he could get back to trying to figure out where Cal was hiding. But as he headed toward the stairs, he heard some noises from the nursery. Opening the door, Shane saw that Jeannie had pulled herself up and was standing, with both hands gripping the edge of her crib. When she saw him, she babbled something and broke into a big smile.

Shane had to return the smile. "Did you do that all by yourself?" He walked over to the crib as Jeannie watched him. Shane glanced around, expecting Simmons to burst through the door, but the butler did not appear.

_I guess I'm on my own._

He hesitated for a moment, but then reached into the crib and lifted Jeannie. "Come here, sweetheart." He checked to see if she needed a change, but she was okay.

The entire time, Jeannie's green eyes remained focused on him. Shane tried not to feel uncomfortable - _she's just a baby, for god's sake - _but that thought still did not quell his discomfort. Instead, he pulled her close to his chest so he did not have to look in her eyes and looked around the room and began to speak.

"I guess you're a bit confused," he said. "You don't know where your mommy is and you're here with this strange man. That has to be confusing to you."

Shane began to walk around the room and rocked Jeannie as he continued to talk. "You're probably worried too. . . . Do babies worry? I don't know . . . . Your mother probably knows more about that. She's the expert on kids." Shane sighed. "I don't blame you if you are worried, Jeannie. I guess I can admit it to you, but I'm worried too."

In his arms, Jeannie babbled something so he looked down at her. She smiled again. "Okay, so maybe you're not worried at all," Shane joked, with a slight chuckle. He shifted her so she now was nestled in one arm and he could see her face. "Maybe you know something. Maybe you know Kim's going to be okay. I wish I knew that. I hope so."

_Oh, do I hope so_, he said silently.

"But, hey, I shouldn't be so gloomy with you." He tried to make his voice sound a little lighter, though that was difficult. "Hey, but we did get some good news. Your big brother's okay. He gave us quite a scare earlier."

Shane lowered his voice as he remembered finding Andrew, pale and lifeless, in the forest. "Your brother is more important to me than anything. If anything had happened to him . . . . I don't know what I would've done." In his mind, Shane suddenly recalled the day he had hired Mike to be Andrew's bodyguard and had tried to explain how important Andrew was. Shane had said that Andrew and Eve were more important than his life. "_I'd do anything to protect my kids. I'd step in front of a hundred bullets to keep them safe._" He had said that also. "He is," Shane said aloud. "I'd give my life for him in a heartbeat."

Jeannie's gurgling brought him out of that thought and Shane flushed. He felt a wave of guilt as he realized he was talking about how much he loved Andrew, when he was holding Jeannie, a baby he still struggled to even look at.

Actually, he realized, he was not struggling that much at the moment. He smiled sadly at the little girl. "I'm trying, sweetheart. I _will_ try."

Her eyes were so much like Kim's, he thought. And the way they fixed on him; it felt like the way he had sometimes felt like Kim could see right into his soul.

"I wish. . . ." Shane did not complete that thought. He took Jeannie's small hand in his and studied her long fingers. Like he had thought before, they looked so much like his mother's hands. _You're still wishing_.

Jeannie scrunched up her face and then let out a big yawn. She obviously did not care about wishes either.

Shane nodded his head in silent agreement. _Wishes were useless. You've got to do more. _"Okay," he said aloud. "How about this. . . . I'm going to find your mommy and bring her home to you. I'll do whatever it takes to bring her home to you, Jeannie. That's not a wish; it's a promise."


	285. Chapter 285

Kayla winced as she touched the cut on her forehead. Although she could not see the wound, she could tell by the heat radiating from it that it was inflamed and infected. She had done her best to clean it out with the limited supplies available, but it was obvious that it had not been enough. And it seemed clear that Cal had no intention of providing any medical supplies to treat it.

"That cut looks pretty bad," Kim said from her spot in the plastic desk chair across the room. It looked like she had her suit jacket draped over her, having used it as something of a blanket during the night. From Kayla's vantage point, she doubted Kim had slept much. After another minute, Kim said, "I'm no doctor, but I'd say it's infected."

"Yeah," Kayla sighed. "I don't think it's really that deep, but there is clearly something in there causing the infection."

"What do you need to take care of it?" Kim asked quietly.

"Without a mirror, it's hard to tell, but probably just some anti-bacterial cream, hydrogen peroxide, and some clean bandages." Kayla shrugged. "If nothing else, it would slow down the infection for a while. But it's not like it matters; Cal is not going to give us anything."

"Don't be so sure of that." Kim sounded determined. "I think I have an idea that might work."

Before Kayla could ask questions, she heard the now familiar sound of the key in the lock. Kim and Kayla exchanged a glance and braced themselves for another visit from Cal.

"Good morning, Kimberly," Cal said as he walked in the door, carrying a tray. "Your breakfast has arrived."

"Thank you," Kim said, sounding surprisingly sincere. Kayla watched carefully as Kim got up from her chair and approached Cal. When she reached him, Kim took the tray from his hands and gave him a big smile. "This looks delicious. All of my favorite fruits."

_What is Kim doing_? Kayla could not help but wonder. She knew that they had decided to avoid antagonizing Cal, but Kim was going beyond that.

"I'm glad you like it, Kim." Cal smiled broadly. "You know that all I want to do is make you happy."

"I know." Kim set the tray down on the desk and returned to Cal. "You've always been so good to me."

"And I always will be," Cal said as he reached out and stroked Kim's cheek. Kayla did not miss the slight flinch from Kim as Cal touched her, but Cal either did not notice or did not care.

"You know what would make me happy right now?" Kim asked, keeping her eyes locked on Cal as he continued to stroke her cheek.

"What?" Cal's voice turned suspicious and his hand dropped from Kim's face.

"If you would bring me some first-aid supplies so that I can treat Kayla's cut." Kim's voice stayed soft and tender.

"I already told you she doesn't need it," Cal replied angrily. "Pretending to be nice to me is not going to make me change my mind."

"I'm not pretending, Cal," Kim said. She reached out to put her hand on Cal's arm. "I know how much you want to take care of me. But I can't think about us and our future together when my sister is hurt and in pain."

"There are other ways to take care of that." Cal's voice was harsh and he glanced coldly at Kayla.

"Listen to me, Cal." Kim put her other hand on Cal's chin and turned his head so he was looking at her. "You know that I love my sister and you know that I can't be happy with you if something bad happens to her because of us." She smiled at him. "So, please . . . just get me some first-aid supplies so I can make sure she gets better."

Cal stood silently for a moment, glancing back and forth between Kim and Kayla. Finally, he said gruffly, "What do you need?"

"Just some basic supplies - antibacterial cream, hydrogen peroxide and some bandages." Kim spoke quickly as if trying to complete the list before Cal changed his mind.

"I'll see what I can find." He grabbed her hand, which was resting on his arm. "But if this is some kind of trick, you'll both pay for it." Kayla saw Kim wince as Cal gripped her hand tightly. "Is that understood?"

Kim nodded. "It's not a trick, Cal. I just want Kayla to be okay."

Cal released Kim's hand and walked towards the door. "I'm not making any promises, but I'll see what we have around here. If we don't have it here, then baby sis is just out of luck." Then Cal left and locked the door behind him.

Exhaling, Kayla said, "Thank you, Kim. I can't believe you got through to him."

"Oh, it's not so hard," Kim said, the disgust clear in her voice. "A good whore always knows how to make a man do what she wants."

"Stop it!" Kayla said, getting up from the cot. "That's not who you are and that's not what you did. You were trying to help me."

Kim shook her head as if trying to rid herself of the moment before with Cal. Then she turned and smiled softly at Kayla. "I'm your big sister and I'm supposed to take care of you. It comes with the job." She walked Kayla back to the cot and waited for Kayla to lie down, before sitting down on the edge. "You know I still remember when Mama and Papa brought you home from the hospital."

"You do?" Kayla was surprised. She and Kim were only about 3 years apart and Kayla certainly had no memories from that age.

"Yeah, I do." Kim stared at the far wall with a distant look in her eyes. "Papa brought you and Mama home, and they sat me and Roman down on the couch. They said that you were our little sister and as the older ones we had a responsibility to help take care of you."

"I think Roman might have taken that instruction a little too seriously," Kayla deadpanned. "I'm married and have a child and he's still trying to take care of me half the time."

Kim smiled and gave Kayla a knowing look. "He might have taken it too seriously later, but he wasn't happy when he realized he had two younger sisters he was supposed to take care of and I only had one. I'm pretty sure he was mumbling something about it being 'not fair' when Papa sent him up to his room."

Kayla chuckled at the thought of her older brother being upset about his sibling responsibilities. "I guess being sent to his room must have convinced him."

"Maybe," Kim allowed. "But after Papa sent Roman upstairs and went down to the Fish Market, Mama put you in my arms and let me hold you." Kim brushed her hand softly across Kayla's hair. "We sat there together and Mama told me that having a sister was a gift and that I should always remember to treat it that way - as something special and valuable."

"She told me that once, too," Kayla said softly.

"Really?" Kim smiled. "I'm guessing it wasn't when they brought Bo home from the hospital."

Kayla shook her head. "No, but I'm sure I got the big sister speech then." She took a deep breath. "Mama talked to me about the importance of sisters the night after the Homecoming dance. The one I went to with Charlie Rogers."

"Oh. . . ." A shadow crossed Kim's face - guilt maybe. "I guess that wasn't my finest moment as a big sister."

Kayla did not respond immediately. Instead, she found herself lost in her memories of that night. "Pop came home and found the bathroom door off its hinges," she said, as much to herself as to Kim. "He went immediately to Bo's room and I could hear him yelling. I went to Bo's room to try and tell Pop it wasn't Bo's fault."

Almost without realizing it, Kayla pulled herself off the cot, wincing as she jostled her rib, and then began pacing around the tiny room. "I tried to tell him that Bo had only done it because I'd locked myself in. I remember Pop looking at me like I was crazy and asking why I'd done such a 'fool' thing. I tried to explain that it was because I was mad at you, and the bathroom was the only room with a lock on it." Kayla chuckled humorlessly. "Pop didn't care. He said it didn't matter what you had done; it was no excuse for me locking myself in there. Then he sent me back to my room and told me I was grounded and told Bo he had to fix the door the next day."

Still pacing around the room, Kayla turned and looked at Kim. The stricken look on Kim's face pulled Kayla from the bitterness of her memories. She walked back to the cot and sat down again. "Anyway, I was in my room crying when Ma came in. I guess somebody must have given her at least part of the story, because she just pulled me to her and let me cry. Then she sat me up and said she knew I was mad at you, and maybe I had a right to be. But, she said, you were my sister, and that was a gift from God and it was more special and valuable than any boy." Kayla smiled at Kim. "She said that my sister would be there for me no matter what and that relationship would last longer than any infatuation I had with Charlie."

"I'm really sorry about what happened that night," Kim said, a tear running down her cheek. "I know I hurt you so badly and I still don't even know why I did it."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Kayla said, feeling her own tears build. "I got past that a long time ago."

"Are you sure about that?" Kim asked. "You mentioned him the other night when we were driving to Brookville."

Kayla paused at Kim's comment. The drive to Brookville felt like it had happened months ago. But then Kayla remembered she had mentioned running into Charlie at the fair that day. Why had she done that? She knew why. Everything that had happened over the previous six months with her father, her sister, and Shane had churned up a lot of resentment that Kayla had thought she had buried long ago. And her recent arguments with Kim had brought that resentment even closer to the surface.

"I thought I had gotten past it," Kayla finally said. "After you left Salem and then I left and we both built our own lives, I thought the past was forgotten. We were both adults and we built such a great relationship. You were my sister and my best friend. What happened when we were kids didn't matter anymore."

"So what changed?" Kim's voice was soft, yet firm. "What brought all of this up again?"

"A lot of things, I guess," Kayla said. "But it doesn't really matter now anyway."

"It does matter," Kim insisted. "You are my best friend, too, and I don't want this distance and anger coming between us anymore. So just tell me why things changed."

"They changed because I got involved with Shane." Kayla shrugged as she looked at Kim. "It's really that simple, isn't it? I became emotionally attached to your ex-husband and I wouldn't let go, no matter what anybody said - not you and not. . . ."

"And not Papa," Kim finished. "That's what you were going to say, right?"

Kayla nodded. "I know he meant well, but he'd have been better off staying out of it. Every time he would tell me that I should stay away from Shane so that you would be happy, or stay away from Shane so that you would stay away from Lawrence, it hurt. It brought back every memory I had of never being his 'best and brightest.'"

Kim chuckled softly and Kayla turned to her, surprised at her sister's laughter. "What's so funny?"

Kim shook her head. "Nothing's funny. It's just ironic that Papa's 'best and brightest' label made us both feel inferior."

Kayla was surprised by that comment. "What do you mean? It made you feel inferior? Pop always put you up on a pedestal."

"Maybe," Kim responded. "But that pedestal was awfully shaky and, even then, I knew I didn't belong there. After Uncle Eric . . ." Kim paused as if collecting herself. "I know you think that Papa favored me, and I'm sorry for how that must have hurt you. But it hurt me too. I never felt worthy and, looking back, I think I did a lot of things, hoping it would be enough to knock me off that pedestal for good."

"I never knew you felt that way," Kayla said quietly. "When we were kids, I always thought you loved that attention from him." She looked away. "But I guess there were a lot of things none of us knew about."

"I was always pretty good at keeping secrets." Kim's voice took on a different tone. "One of the lessons Uncle Eric taught me along the way."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Kim." Kayla put her arm around her sister. "I wish I had known. I wish I could have stopped him. I wish-"

"Don't, Kayla," Kim said sharply. "Don't wish anything related to that man. What happened was not your fault and you couldn't have known. I'm just thankful he never tried to hurt you." Kim took a deep breath. "What's done is done and it's in the past. I've learned to deal with what happened to me."

Kayla knew that was not as true as Kim made it sound. Kim had all but admitted that some of her past choices had been directly influenced by the trauma she suffered at the hands of Uncle Eric. Kayla wondered how much that trauma was still affecting Kim, but now was not the time to delve into it.

"I'm still sorry that it happened," Kayla said softly.

"I know," Kim replied. "And I'm sorry for not being always being the big sister I was supposed to be. I never should have gone near Charlie Rogers."

Kayla shook her head. "You don't owe me an apology for that now. Not after everything that has happened." She looked in Kim's eyes. "Not after I got involved with Shane."


	286. Chapter 286

"You still don't know where Mommy is?" Andrew asked glumly.

Perched on the edge of Andrew's bed, Shane hesitated before he responded. Then he said, "Don't you worry about that right now. We're going to find her, I promise."

In the back of his mind, Shane thought about how he had made a similar promise to Jeannie the night before. Now, he was making the same promise to his son.

At least the promise seemed to have an effect. Andrew relaxed and his frown slipped away. His general condition also appeared much improved. His color was normal and he seemed to have some of the brightness back in his eyes. Shane knew it was only a matter of time before Andrew began complaining of being cooped up in his room.

_Maybe I have a solution to that._

"Hey, Sport, how about after Simmons brings you up some breakfast, you brush your teeth and then put on your robe and slippers and we can set you up on the couch in the library? I'll even bring in the TV from my study."

That caused Andrew's eyes to go wide in surprise. "Really, Daddy?"

"Really." Shane smiled as he stood up. "I'll go check with Simmons."

The butler was in the hall, just leaving the nursery with Jeannie in his arms. "Good morning, Sir," Simmons said. "I was just taking the young miss to have her breakfast."

"That's fine." As they walked down the stairs, Shane explained his plan for Andrew. Then Shane realized Simmons could not feed both children at the same time, so he held out his arms for the baby. "Here, let me take her from you while you get Andrew's breakfast ready."

Taking Jeannie, Shane let Simmons lead the way toward the kitchen. They had just passed through the foyer when the doorbell rang. Shane grimaced. At that hour, it probably was a reporter who had slipped past the police outside.

"Go ahead, Simmons, I'll get it."

Still carrying Jeannie, Shane turned back and walked to the front door. _If it's a reporter, he's going to be very sorry. _

"Yes, what do-" He stopped short when he realized it was not a reporter, but Alice Horton and Julie Williams. Shane was so surprised that he could barely ask, "Alice . . . Julie, what are you doing here?"

Alice smiled. "We thought you and your very brave son could probably use a real breakfast. If I know you, you probably haven't had a bite to eat for the past 24 hours."

"Listen to her, Shane," Julie said. "Grandma's got a long history of feeding law enforcement types."

With a sharp nod, Alice added, "And I have something special for that boy of yours."

As Shane watched, Alice and Julie stepped past him into the foyer. For the first time, Shane noticed that they were each carrying a grocery bag.

"Alice. . . ." Shane spoke in a tone that was both bemused and baffled. "You know, I do have a butler. Simmons is in the kitchen preparing breakfast as we speak."

Alice turned and gave Shane a knowing look. "Does your Simmons know how to whip up a mean Mickey Mouse pancake?"

Shane had to concede the point. "I . . . I suspect that you've got him beat there."

"Good," Alice said, simply. "It's settled." Before Shane could protest further, Alice headed toward the kitchen, leaving Shane shaking his head.

"She never ceases to amaze me," he muttered.

Julie laughed. "You have no idea." Then she grew serious. "How are you holding up, darling?"

"So this is breakfast and a check-up?" Shane asked, though his appreciation was sincere. When Julie just looked at him sympathetically, he said, "I'm hanging in there. I got a little out-of-sorts yesterday, but it helps to have such a supportive group of friends and family." Shane realized that Julie was still holding her grocery bag. "Oh, here, let me take that from you," he said, then awkwardly stopped. With Jeannie already in his arms, he could not hold the bag also.

Simmons reappeared in the foyer. "Oh no, Sir. I've got it."

"I guess Grandma won the battle for the kitchen," Julie muttered in Shane's ear. Then she smiled and passed the bag to Simmons. "I hope you don't mind my grandmother."

"Not at all, Madame. Madame Horton has told me that I should - I believe she put it - 'watch and learn.'" As they all laughed, Simmons turned and headed back toward the kitchen.

Julie took Shane's free arm and pulled him and Jeannie into the library. "So is there any news this morning?"

Shane shook his head. "Not much. I called Roman first thing. From the tire treads near the abandoned car, we know Cal is in a mid-80s Pontiac. And we know none of the car rental agencies around Salem have a car like that, so Roman has a bunch of cops checking out local used car dealers to see if Cal bought a car from them. Hopefully, that will give us a lead."

From the dubious look on Julie's face, Shane could tell that she did not think it likely that the effort would work. _But it's something, at least_, Shane thought. _There's no harm in trying._

"I'll know more a little later. Roman's going to come back and use the house as his HQ." Roman thought Cal might call to taunt Shane about Kim. Shane suspected that was just Roman's excuse to keep on eye on the children. Cal was not that foolish, but Shane had not protested; it probably made no difference if Roman was at the house or at the station.

Julie nodded. "I know. Abe Carver tipped us off when Grandma told him we were coming over. That's why one of those bags has a few dozen of Alice Horton's special doughnuts." Julie turned her attention to Jeannie, who was wriggling a little in Shane's arms. "And how's this little one?" She hesitated for a minute before asking, "She's Kim's daughter with. . . ."

"With Cal," Shane said, finishing her sentence. He held Jeannie tight, turned and crossed the room to the window. The sun was already rising high in the sky and shining brightly. It would be a glorious fall day, and the brilliance of the sun seemed to mock him as he had the dark reminder of Cal. Then Jeannie squirmed in his arms, reached up and jerked on the collar of his tan dress shirt.

_It doesn't matter. She's Kim's daughter. That's what counts._

"But I owe it to Kim to make sure she's safe." Shane sighed, pulling his shirt collar free and giving a soft smile at the little girl. "Besides, legally, Jeannie is my daughter. . . ."

Julie looked down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't apologize," Shane said returning to the side of room Julie was on. "It's not like half the world doesn't know the truth now. Thanks to Rachel Knight."

"Rachel Knight?" Julie's eyes narrowed. "Is she the reporter who looks like she could be walking the riverfront at night? Grandma had a little run-in with her the other day." She grinned slyly. "Well 'run-in' in the sense of running into her while carrying an ice cream sundae in one hand and a bowl of split pea soup in the other. I don't think the cleaners are going to be able to get hot fudge out of the silk."

Shane had to laugh at the image. "Tell Alice to send me the cleaning bill." Then he felt some fresh guilt run him. "I shouldn't be laughing right now. Kim and Kayla are missing - being held captive by a homicidal maniac. Andrew was nearly killed. . . ."

"It's okay for the moment," Julie said. She reached out and put a hand on Shane's arm. "It doesn't change how you feel about Kim. It's not like you're any less worried because you laughed."

"You're right." Shane seemed to be conceding a lot of points to Horton women this morning. "You know . . . last night, it hit me. What happens if we don't find Kim, or. . . ." He tried to suppress the thought, merely saying, "Or something happens to her? And with me almost certainly going to prison, who's going to take care of Andrew and Jeannie?"

Julie shook her head. "Come on, Shane. You can't let that worry you right now. You have family and friends who love your children. None of us would let anything happen to them."

"I know," Shane said. "When I think of how you took Eve under your wing. . . . But Andrew and Jeannie are so young-"

"Stop it." Julie cut it off. "Don't you think about that. The entire Salem PD is out looking for Kim and Kayla. They'll find them."

"Will they, Daddy?"

Shane turned abruptly to see Andrew standing in the doorway, clad in his robe and slippers. How much had he heard? "Andrew," Shane said. "Hey, Sport, I thought you were going to stay upstairs and get breakfast in bed."

"I . . ." Andrew looked down. "I . . . I heard you talking and I thought-"

Julie gave Shane a knowing look and then crouched down next to Andrew. "You thought maybe your mother was home, didn't you?" she asked softly.

Andrew nodded, then looked up at Shane.

"I'm sorry," Shane said, feeling a little sick to his stomach as he saw Andrew's hope disappear. "But I told you that we're going to bring her home."

Julie smiled at Andrew. "I know you miss your mother, but you listen to your father. If there's anyone who knows a thing or two about bringing people home, it's him." She reached out and touched Andrew's arm. "Now I bet you're hungry, young man. Well, my grandmother came here special just to make you breakfast."

"That's true, Andrew," Shane said, hoping that some attention from Alice Horton might take Andrew's mind off Kim for a little while.

Julie nodded. "We came over because we wanted to tell you how brave you were the other night."

Andrew frowned momentarily at the reminder of his ordeal. Shane shifted Jeannie to one arm, stepped forward and put a hand on Andrew's shoulder. "It's okay. . . ." Shane said quietly as Andrew looked up. "Everyone's very proud of you and glad you're okay." When Andrew said nothing further, Shane added, "Come on . . . Let's go see what Mrs. Horton has whipped up for you? It's not always that you get the best cook in Salem making you a special breakfast."

Julie took Andrew's hand, stood, and led them out of the foyer. She whispered something to Andrew as they walked to the kitchen, where Alice Horton gave Andrew a hero's welcome.

"So this is the young man who's the talk of Salem?" she asked. As Shane got Jeannie situated in her high-chair, Alice and Julie fawned over Andrew. Within a few minutes, Andrew was giggling. Soon after that, he was tucking into a stack of rodent-shaped pancakes with a grin on his face.

_The Horton women work their magic._

Julie looked up from where she was seated next to Andrew and she gave Shane a look that said the last thing he needed to worry about was the children being cared for. It did not quell Shane's fear. Nothing could do that; it would not go away until Kim was home and safe. But it did make him think how lucky he and Kim were to have such special family and friends.


	287. Chapter 287

"You don't owe me an apology for that now. Not after everything that's happened." Kayla looked in Kim's eyes. "Not after I got involved with Shane."

Kim stared at her sister in surprise. She thought back to the night after her fight with Kayla and remembered how she had wondered if Kayla had gotten involved with Shane as payback for what Kim had done with Charlie. Kim corrected herself. She actually had never really thought Kayla got involved with Shane as direct payback for Charlie. It had more to do with what Charlie represented - how Kim had always been favored by Shawn and by most of the other men in their lives as they grew up. When Shane had pursued Kayla, it was probably the first time that any man had ever favored Kayla over Kim.

"What are you saying, Kayla? That one thing cancels out the other?"

Kayla's eyes widened at Kim's question. "No. No. That's not what I meant at all," she said quickly. Kayla paused and seemed to gather her thoughts. "It's funny because I feel like we've talked about Shane a million times, and in a million different ways, but it's never really resolved. Maybe it never will be. Maybe it can't be."

Kim did not respond. How many times had she tried to resolve the conflict in her own mind? She loved her sister dearly, but that did not mean it was easy to get past the hurt she had felt, and still felt, knowing that Kayla had pursued a relationship with Shane despite how Kim had felt about it. But Kim also knew that she had not helped the situation either, so how could she put all the blame on Kayla?

"I don't know, Kay," Kim said, trying to be as honest as she could. "In my head, I can understand why you turned to Shane and why he turned to you." She shook her head slightly. "But my heart isn't quite so understanding, I guess. It still hurts. In some ways, maybe it always will."

Kayla nodded slowly. "I know." Turning away from Kim, she got up, winced slightly, and began pacing the room again. "I've apologized to Steve. I've apologized to you. I've even apologized to Shane. When I see you and Shane still so far apart, I feel guilty. When I see the hurt in Steve's eye, I feel guilty." She stopped pacing and turned back to face Kim. "But when I look back on that time in my life, I can't say I'm sorry for what happened."

"I'm not sure what you mean," Kim said, confused. "You feel guilty, but you're not sorry?"

Kayla released a humorless chuckle. "I guess so." Kayla ran her hand down her face. "I am sorry and will always be sorry that you were hurt, and that Steve was hurt. If I had known that Steve was alive, none of this would have ever happened. But I didn't know."

"What are you trying to say?" Kim asked.

Kayla took a deep breath. "When Steve died, I was angry and, when the anger ran out, I was numb. And then I was scared. I didn't know what my life was without Steve in it. For as long as I could remember, he had been the focus in my life - breaking down his walls, falling in love, fighting through everything keeping us apart, getting married, having Stephanie . . . and then he was gone."

Kim knew what Kayla had felt. She had gone through the same thing when she thought Shane had died. But before she could say anything, Kayla continued.

"In those months after Steve's death, Shane gave me something I needed - something nobody else could, I guess. I don't even know what it was exactly. Comfort, support . . ." She hesitated and then softly said, "Love too. Somehow he made it possible for me to see a future for myself, to know that my life didn't end when Steve's did."

Kayla crossed the room and sat down in the chair at the desk. "I don't know why Shane was the one that could reach me in those ways. And for all the hurt it caused you, the family, and Steve, I wish it could have been somebody else. But it wasn't." She looked at Kim with tired eyes. "So, when I look back at those months, I see moments where I laughed, where I felt happy, and where I felt loved. Things I thought I would never feel again when I lost Steve. And I can't be sorry for that. I just can't. All I can do is hope that, somehow, you can forgive me and put it behind us."

Kim stared at her sister for a moment. She knew without a doubt that Kayla's words were sincere; Kim just was not sure how she felt about it. Would it really change anything if Kayla were down on her knees proclaiming how wrong she was? Is that what Kim really wanted? Besides, if she were honest, she knew exactly how Kayla felt.

"I want to forgive you," Kim finally said. "In my head, I forgave you a long time ago. It's just that sometimes the hurt is still there and I can't forget it." She looked at Kayla. "But the truth is that I know exactly what you mean by feeling guilty, but not being sorry."

It was Kayla's turn to look surprised. "What do you mean by that?"

Kim sighed. "Look at this room, Kay. The only reason we're here is because I got involved with Cal after I thought Shane died. I know how you felt when you lost Steve, because I went through the same thing when we thought Shane was dead. You turned to Shane. I turned to Cal." She tried to force a smile. "I think, all things considered, you made the better choice."

"Kim-" Kayla started to protest.

"No, Kay. It's okay." Kim began to pace. "All those things you said about Shane, I could say about Cal in those first months after I lost Shane. He was there - supporting me, comforting me, making me smile or laugh . . . making me feel attractive and wanted." She shrugged slightly. "All of that was better than the anger, the pain, the desperate loneliness and emptiness I felt most of the time."

Kim saw Kayla nod slightly. "See . . . you know exactly what I mean. And even after all the hurt it caused Shane, even sitting in this room locked away from our families, I can't completely regret what happened. It was a mistake to get involved with Cal, but I can't be completely sorry - not when I have a beautiful little girl who I love so much because of it." She looked at Kayla with a question in her eyes. "How can I regret something that brought me someone so beautiful?"

"You can't," Kayla said simply.

"No, I can't," Kim agreed. "I'm sorry that it ended my marriage to Shane." Her voice took on a bitter and angry edge. "And I'm sure as hell sorry for the fact that you're now in the middle of it all." She paused and took a deep breath. "But I can't be totally sorry for meeting and being involved with Cal, not if it means I would not have had Jeannie."

Kim stopped pacing, walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, and looked down at her little sister in the chair next to her. "So, baby sister, when I say I know exactly how you feel, I mean it. I know you didn't want to hurt me when you were with Shane. And I also know that the pain from that will heal fully in time. But, most importantly, I know that you're my sister and I love you. No matter what has or will happen."

Kim saw the tears on Kayla's cheeks and felt her own begin to run down her face. Without another word, Kayla stood and the sisters embraced tightly. Kim cried softly as she heard Kayla doing the same, each letting go of hurts held onto for too long.

As they stood there together, Kim heard the key in the lock and stepped back as Cal entered the room. "Gee, did I interrupt a precious moment," he said, his voice dripping in sarcasm. "I can come back if this is a bad time."

Kim remained silent as she tried to collect herself. Then she noticed the small plastic bag in Cal's hand. Walking towards him, she choked back the last her tears and asked softly, "Are those the medical supplies for Kayla?"

Cal nodded. "Lucky for you, I was able to find a few things." His eyes narrowed. "But I'm still not sure I should give them to you."

Steeling herself, Kim smiled at Cal and reached for his hand. "Please, Cal. You know how much better I'll feel if I know that Kayla's cut is taken care of."

Cal returned Kim's smile and softly stroked her hand. It took all of Kim's willpower not to pull her hand away and slap his face, but she knew that making Cal believe she was grateful and happy was the key to getting him to let down his guard.

As she held Cal's hand, Kim slowly reached for the bag of supplies in his other hand.

"Uh, uh, uh," Cal said, pulling the bag away. "I went and found these for you, so I think you need to do something for me in return."

Kim felt her stomach lurch at Cal's words. She was not sure exactly what Cal was referring to, but she was sure she was not going to like it. Hoping to forestall a more loathsome request, Kim leaned up and kissed Cal on the cheek.

Her action seemed to surprise him as he drew back slightly and looked at her. Kim forced herself to maintain her smile and caressed Cal's hand. "How's that for a thank you?" she asked, faking a teasing tone.

"That's a good start," Cal's tone appeared to match her teasing.

Suddenly, there was a cry from the other side of the room. Kim spun around just in time to see Kayla collapse in the chair. "Kay," she called, rushing to her sister's side. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure," Kayla replied, sounding weak. "My head is killing me and I felt dizzy all of the sudden."

"Can we please have those supplies now?" Kim asked, turning back to Cal. "She's really sick."

Cal stared for a moment, then stalked to the desk and dropped the supplies on it. "Fine," he said, obviously irritated. "You take care of little sister here. Then maybe you and I can get a moment's peace."

Kim smiled sickly. "Thank you. I'm sure this will make Kayla feel much better and then I won't have to worry about her so much."

"It better," Cal said, walking to the door. "Or I'll just have to make sure you no longer have any reason to worry about her."

Kim let out a sigh of relief as Cal left and locked the door. She then turned back to Kayla, only to find her sister looking perfectly fine, except for the anger blazing in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked, confused. "Are you still dizzy?"

"I'm fine," Kayla spat. "Except for wanting to see that man in a cage again, I'm just fine."

"But just a minute ago-"

"Just a minute ago, I was faking," Kayla said with a shrug. "I figured I needed to do something to get him to keep his paws off of you."

Kim had to smile at her little sister's moxie. For all of her fears, Kim knew that it was not her life in danger right now. Cal would never kill her. But despite the danger Kayla was in, she had found a way to distract Cal.

"I guess maybe you should have been an actress instead of a nurse," Kim finally said. "You sure had me fooled. Next time, give me a sign or something."

Kayla gave a wan smile. "I'll see what I can do." She reached for the medical supplies. "But I wasn't lying about my head, so how about you give me a hand and see if we can get this cut on my head under control?"

"You got it," Kim replied with her own smile. "I don't think that little infection stands a chance against us Brady sisters."

"No, it doesn't." Kayla reached for Kim's hand and lowered her voice. "And neither does that bastard outside that door. Just remember that."

Kim nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. She wanted to believe Kayla, but her heart told her that, if they were going to get out of there, it was going to take more than just Brady stubbornness and determination.


	288. Chapter 288

"Damn it, Roman," Steve shouted. "They can't do that!"

"I don't like it any more than you do, partner, but I don't control the FBI." Roman's voice reflected his frustration.

Steve stood up from the couch he had been sitting on in the library and began pacing. Roman had just gotten off the phone with the FBI Special Agent in charge of the Winters investigation and had been informed that the FBI was pulling back from the local investigation and focusing on a more national scope on the presumption that Winters had left the area.

"The feds do know it's only been two days, right?" Steve asked sarcastically. "They wouldn't even get involved for hours and now they're already giving up."

"He knows," Roman replied.

"They're just following standard protocol," Shane said from a chair across the room. He sounded tired. "If the kidnapper isn't found in the local area in the first 48 hours, he's probably already left the area."

"I don't give a damn about protocol," Steve said, trying and failing to control his anger. "We all know that Winters isn't going to leave without his daughter. He's still around here somewhere."

"That's what we think." Shane kept his voice even and cool. "But we don't know a bloody thing."

"So what? We just give up?" Steve looked at Roman and Shane. "This isn't some little investigation here. This is about Kim and Kayla."

"You think we don't know that?" Shane asked, the anger creeping back into his voice. "We're all doing everything we can, but we have to face the reality that it's been almost 48 hours without any significant leads developing. And all your shouting isn't going to change that."

Steve stared incredulously at Shane. How was he supposed to feel with Kayla out there somewhere? Every minute that passed without a lead or some new hope was like a minute taken off of his life. And now the FBI were all but calling the search off. Roman still had his guys out on the streets and manning roadblocks, but the surrounding jurisdictions had reduced their manpower as well. Two days - the longest days of his life - and it felt like everybody was giving up.

"Steve. . . ." Roman's voice was softer. "You know that none of us in this room are giving up on finding Kim and Kayla. But we need to face the fact that Winters had a several-hours head start on us. As much as we want to believe he's still in the area, maybe he did the unexpected and just kept driving. If he left the area before the roadblocks were set up, he could be anywhere in the country by now."

Steve's heart clinched at Roman's words. If Cal had indeed left the area, willing to leave his own daughter behind now that he had Kim, what did that mean for Kayla? As much as Steve tried to ignore the thoughts, it was becoming harder and harder to push away the voice that was telling him that Kayla might already be dead.

The three men were silent for a few moments, each lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Roman picked up the phone and began making more calls. Shane opened up another file and began reviewing what little information they had gathered. Needing to do something to stop the thoughts in his head, Steve walked of the room and into the foyer, intending to get some coffee from the kitchen. But before he could get there, the doorbell rang.

Looking around, Steve did not see Simmons, so he walked to the door and answered it. To his surprise, Caroline was standing on the other side, holding Stephanie. Staring silently at his little girl, Steve opened the door wider so Caroline could enter the house.

"I know you've been busy doing everything you can to find Kim and Kayla," Caroline said with a shaky voice. "And Shawn and I wanted to let you focus on finding the girls. But Stephanie has been asking for her mama and papa, so I thought it might do her some good to see you."

Steve nodded, but again did not say anything. He could feel the tears building in his eye and did not trust himself to talk. Instead, he reached out and softly stroked Stephanie's cheek, nearly losing it when she smiled and reached her arms out to him.

Taking Stephanie into his arms, Steve held her close and willed himself to keep his emotions together. Finally pulling back, he smiled at Stephanie and kissed her forehead. "Have you been a good girl for Grandma and Grandpa?"

"She's been wonderful as always," Caroline answered. "But I think she knows something is wrong. Maybe it's just because of all the talk in the house, but she started asking for her mama and papa this afternoon."

"I know . . . I should have been by to see her," Steve said hesitantly. "I just . . . I didn't know how. . . ." He stopped, unable to finish.

In a tender voice, Caroline replied, "It's okay." She looked towards the library. "Is there any news at all?"

Steve shook his head, but kept his eyes focused on Stephanie.

"Oh," Caroline said, unable to hide her disappointment. "I was hoping . . . well, it doesn't matter. I know that you and Roman and Shane will find them," she finished with a note of determination.

Steve nearly smiled at how much Caroline sounded like Kayla in that moment. Her stubbornness may have been from her father, but it was clear - as it had always been - that Kayla's single-minded determination had come from her mother.

"Grandma!"

Steve turned at the sound of Andrew's voice to find him coming down the stairs. Simmons was trailing behind and holding Jeannie.

"Andrew!" Caroline's relief was evident as Andrew raced over to give her a hug. Watching him, it was hard for Steve to believe the boy had been close to death less than two days before.

"I was just taking the children into the kitchen for dinner," Simmons said as he joined them in the foyer. "Has Miss Stephanie had her dinner yet?"

Steve put a squirming Stephanie down to join Andrew. Caroline shook her head at Simmons' question. "No, I was planning on getting her something after I took her back home with me."

"Well, she's more than welcome to stay and join Andrew and Jeannie," Shane said from behind Steve. Steve turned to see Shane leaning against the door to the library watching the children play together. "In fact, it might be good for all of them if Stephanie just stayed here tonight."

Caroline looked at Steve with a question in her eyes. Steve did not respond at first. Instead, he watched how quickly Stephanie had become absorbed in her play with her cousins. Andrew already had Jeannie and Stephanie giggling as he made growling noises with the teddy bear he had been carrying.

Steve took a deep breath and pushed back the unbidden resentment that still lingered when it came to Shane and Stephanie. He nodded softly. "Thanks," he said, looking at Shane. "I think that's a good idea."

Shane nodded. "Simmons can set up a crib in the guest room for Stephanie, if that's okay with you?"

Seeing no objection from Steve, Simmons declared, "Well, then, I guess that is settled. I had better get in the kitchen and get some food ready for these youngsters." He started to reach down and pick up Jeannie.

"Let them play, Simmons," Shane said quietly. "We'll take them into the other room and you can just call us when their dinner is ready."

"Very well, sir," Simmons said with a nod and headed to the kitchen.

"I should get back home and get some dinner for Shawn and Max," Caroline said. The worry had returned to her face. "You'll call if you hear anything, right?"

Shane and Steve both nodded. Caroline said her goodbyes to her grandchildren and left the house. In silence, Shane and Steve continued to watch their children play together, neither wanting to break what comfort they had found in the scene.

Andrew's voice finally broke the silence. "Can we go in the other room now, Daddy? All the good toys are in there."

Steve chuckled at Andrew's words. Shane smiled at his son and said, "Sure, Sport." Reaching down Shane picked up Jeannie and Steve watched as Andrew took Stephanie's hand and led her behind Shane and Jeannie. Trailing behind, Steve smiled softly at the scene before him, thankful that Andrew, Jeannie, and Stephanie had each other.

Now they just had to bring their mothers home to them.


	289. Chapter 289

Time had moved painfully slow during the day. Other than checking Kayla's wound periodically, there had been little for Kim to do in the locked room but sit and wonder what was going to happen next. Her stomach rumbled, a reminder that Cal had not returned since early in the morning when he had delivered the first aid supplies.

_What was he planning_? Kim wondered. She knew Cal had to be planning something. He wanted Jeannie, at the very least. And Kim suspected he wanted more. In his insane mind, eliminating Andrew would destroy a barrier to his winning Kim. Again, she prayed that Shane understood Cal's thinking and was keeping Andrew and Jeannie safe.

"What are you thinking?" Kayla asked. She was lying on her side on the cot. The cut on her head looked less inflamed than earlier.

"I'm just trying to figure out what Cal's thinking. He obviously has more planned for Salem or he would have tried to take me already," Kim explained.

Kayla frowned. "And when he finishes what he's planned, we both know what he intends to do to me."

"Don't even think about it," Kim said sharply. But even as she told Kayla not to think of what they both knew would happen, she could not keep the thought out of her mind. Kim had no idea if Shane and Roman had any leads; she knew they were looking and would never give up, but Cal was cagey and covered his tracks. And Kim suspected that, if they were not found soon, it would be up to her to get Kayla out of there alive. The only question is what precisely that would require.

_I need to find out what Cal's planning_, Kim decided. As much as it made her skin crawl and her stomach flip to let him touch her, she had to play along. She needed to gain his trust.

"Kim. . . ." Kayla sounded nervous. "I know you're planning something, Kimmie, but be careful. You don't know what Cal will do to you."

_That's where you're wrong, little sister_. Kim knew exactly what Cal would do to her. She remembered the bedroom Cal had created in the mountain cave when he kidnapped her the last time - a bedroom designed to look like the room where they had first made love. Kim looked away, toward the door.

It was like Kayla could read her mind. "No," Kayla said, shaking her head rapidly. "Don't do it, Kim."

Kayla did not understand. Kim knew that. For some women, it might be difficult, but Kim had slept with men for far worse reasons. If that is what she had to do to protect Kayla, she would.

In the back of her mind, Kim recalled the last time she had faced this kind of decision. In Miami. Was that only six years earlier? It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had saved Shane's life by sleeping with Victor.

_If that's what it takes_, Kim said to herself.

The room fell silent. Kim knew Kayla was watching her, but neither of them said another word. Eventually, Kayla began to doze. Kim let her eyes close as well.

She woke with a start at the sound of the key turning in the door. Kim looked at the cot and saw that Kayla was awake too. They waited patiently as the door opened and Cal stepped inside. He was holding a greasy paper bag from the local Hardees.

"I brought you some burgers," he said. "I thought you might like something hot for dinner."

Kim glanced at Kayla, who was watching Cal warily, before looking back at Cal. "Thank you," she said, feigning her most sweet and sincere voice. "We're pretty hungry. It's been a long time since we had anything to eat."

"Yeah . . . well, I was busy," Cal said.

Kim stepped toward him and put her hand on his arm. "I figured you were out. A man like you doesn't like to be cooped up."

He looked at her, his eyes narrowing. "I know you, Kim. Don't play games with me."

"Who's playing games?" she asked. "You're a smart man, Cal. You'd see through any games. I know that. . . . You obviously outsmarted everyone to capture us."

Cal smiled slyly. "I did, didn't I? None of you even had a clue."

Kim forced an expression that she hoped mimicked admiration. Cal's response had given her an idea and she wanted to keep him talking. Maybe if he explained his thinking before he captured her, Cal would reveal something about his plans going forward. "No, we didn't. Right, Kayla?" She gave Kayla a "play-along" look.

"No," Kayla said. "Kim's right. We never even thought it might be you."

"Of course not." Cal put an arm around Kim's shoulder. "It was brilliant. Well . . . at first, things didn't go so great. And Jake screwed up at the school. Serves him right that he got fried to a crisp. But what do you expect for a grand? That doesn't buy much these days."

"You paid someone to shoot at those kids?" Kayla exclaimed, apparently forgetting she was supposed to be playing along. Kim flashed her a look, begging her not to antagonize Cal. Luckily, Cal was facing Kayla and did not see Kim's expression or it might have given her away.

He chuckled. "The odds of getting away after shooting up a school are slim to none. But . . . you see . . . it had to be there." He turned to Kim with a tender gaze. "See, at the school, if Jake had killed the kid, everyone would have assumed you were the target. But he screwed up somehow, and that damn ex-husband of yours decided to play white-knight. And then you moved into his house." Cal's words had turned into a near-snarl.

"Shane just wanted to protect Andrew," Kim said.

"Yeah . . . well . . . you went with." Cal pulled away. "So I had to show you that you weren't safe there, and that Andrew was no more the target than anyone else."

Kim was beginning to understand. "So you started sending the items that we thought were coming from Jericho?"

Cal grinned. "Exactly. It kept Shane distracted and, I knew, eventually you'd realize you were no safer at his house than with Mom and Pop."

"But why not just kidnap me from the hospital?" Kim asked.

Cal's eyes brightened, flush with an insane gleam. "That wasn't enough, Kim. I know you'd never just walk away from the boy. He had to be eliminated. He's a link to your past when all that matters is your future - our future."

From his tone, Kim knew his thinking had not changed. "So that's why we're still here?" she asked softly. "So you can destroy my last link to Shane?"

"Among other things," Cal said confidently.

"Other things?" Kayla asked. Kim heard the disdain in Kayla's voice but could only hope that Cal did not.

Kim grabbed Cal's arm, wanting to keep his attention focused on her. "I'm sure Cal means Jeannie, of course. I'm sure he has no intention of leaving her behind."

"Oh, Kim." Cal's voice was a mix of sadness and amusement. "I have no intention of taking her. She's served her purpose - while alive that is. That's another link I have to eliminate."

For a moment, Kim struggled to breathe. Jeannie was his daughter. Would he really-

Kayla clearly had the same thought. "She's your daughter. You wouldn't-?"

"Of course not," Kim said quickly, so that Cal did not grow angry with Kayla. "Cal would never do anything to hurt Jeannie, and he would never leave Salem without her."

Cal looked at her, and she could again see the insanity in his eyes. "Oh, my poor deluded Kimberly. You really think I care about that little brat?" He shook his head. "Why? Because I'm her daddy?" He chuckled again. "You should have gotten a second opinion, young lady."

Now Kim was confused. _What's he talking about_? "What do you mean, Cal?"

"You should have had someone else look at the ultrasound," Cal said, now with a gleeful grin on his face. "They would've told you."

_No. It couldn't be what he was suggesting._ "But Dr. Norris-"

"Owed me, Kim. Craig Norris did exactly what I told him."

"Then Jeannie. . . ." Kim could barely say it. "She's . . . she's not yours. . . ."

Cal tilted his head. "Very good, Kimberly. It took you long enough. Jeannie's just another link to the past-"

_To Shane_, Kim realized. _A link to Shane. . . . Jeannie's a link to Shane. That's what Cal's saying. Jeannie is Shane's_. "Jeannie is Shane's daughter," Kim said aloud. "She's not yours."

"Ow!" Kim cried. Cal had grabbed her by the jaw and was holding her tight. Kim realized that she lost her focus and must have shown her shock and joy at Cal's revelation.

Cal tilted her chin so she was looking him directly in the eyes. "She's nothing," he insisted. "Just another link that needs to be eliminated. The past doesn't matter now. All that matters is your - or should I say 'our' - future."


	290. Chapter 290

"I think I'm going to head home, partner," Roman said. He, Steve and Shane had just finished going over a map of Salem, and none of them had any new ideas.

"Go on, Roman." Shane sighed as he began folding the map. "We'll get a break tomorrow."

From the look on Roman's face, Shane could tell that his feigned optimism was not very convincing. It was hard to remain optimistic after another fruitless day. All the Salem PD had learned was that Cal had bought a 1987 brown Pontiac Bonneville for $5,000 at one of the local lots. The owner identified Cal as the buyer, but the documents showed he had used a fake name and had paid cash for the car. In other words . . . a dead end.

"Yeah . . . tomorrow," Roman said. He walked out of the library.

With Roman gone, Shane's attention turned to Steve. All of the frustration and anger that Shane had managed to suppress was completely evident on Steve's face, but he had been remarkably quiet over the past hour.

That had been since the kids had returned from dinner. Shane had wanted to give Simmons a little time off, so they had made a makeshift playroom in the library on the other side of the sofa. Shane looked over to the small patch of rug and saw that Andrew was lying on his side and yawning. He was struggling to wave a toy in front of Stephanie and Jeannie, who were watching him with rapt attention.

It was a reminder that, despite his speedy recovery, Andrew was still not fully back to normal. Less than 48 hours earlier, Shane had been uncertain if Andrew would even survive.

"Hey, Champ," Shane said, crossing the room. "I think it's bedtime."

"Do I have to?" Andrew asked, without the usual vociferous tone to his protest. The question seemed to come more from habit than anything else.

Shane smiled. "Remember what Dr. Curtis said. You need to rest, and playing with your sister and your cousin is not the most restful task these days. Besides, I think Uncle Steve and Stephanie probably need to get settled in for the night." Shane looked to Steve for some help.

"Uh . . . yeah," Steve muttered. "I should check out the guest room."

Andrew frowned at Steve. "Mommy won't like that."

Shane was taken aback by the sharpness of Andrew's tone. "That's not true."

"She's mad at him," Andrew said, bluntly.

Shane glanced over at Steve, who shrugged and said, "Can't say he's totally wrong."

Maybe so, but Shane figured he needed to set some things straight. "Come here," he said to Andrew, helping the boy gently to his feet. He took Andrew's hand and started to lead him to the foyer before turning back to Steve. "Can you watch the girls for a minute?"

At Steve's nod, Shane took Andrew out of the room. Once in the foyer, he crouched down and began to speak in a calm, but serious tone. "I want you to listen to me, Andrew. I know you think what might happen to me is because of Uncle Steve, but it's not. It's because of me, and only me. It's because of the choice I made." As Andrew continued to scowl, Shane tried to figure out a way to explain. "Remember when we talked about doing what you think is right even when other people think it's wrong?"

Andrew nodded.

"Well . . . that's what happened. I chose to do what I thought was right, and now I have to take responsibility for it. And I know it's not fair, but it's not anyone else's fault. Especially not Uncle Steve's."

"Then why's Mommy mad at him and Aunt Kayla?" Andrew asked.

Shane had to think about how best to answer that before he responded. "Mommy isn't really mad at them. She was mad about everything that happened, and sometimes when we're mad, we don't always say the right things. Sometimes we blame the wrong people. In her heart, Mommy knows Uncle Steve isn't responsible. It just happened."

Andrew looked down and shuffled his feet a bit. "If we don't find Mommy, will you still go away?"

Shane looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath at hearing Andrew voice some of the worries that had run through Shane's mind for the past day. "We're going to find Mommy, so don't even think like that. . . ." Shane paused and took a deep breath. "As for me, Andrew. . . . Yes, for a little while, I'll be away. But we'll work it out that you can visit me and it won't be that long. I'll be back before you know it." Shane wondered if that was true; for a child, three years would seem like an eternity. But as Andrew grew older, that time would seem like a smaller and smaller part of his life. "And then, we're all going to move to England. You'll like that, won't you? Living at Donovan Manor, you'll be able to ride horses all over and you can play by the pond."

It was impossible to read Andrew's thoughts as he took that in. After a moment, he asked, "All of us?"

"Yep," Shane said. "All of us. You, Jeannie, Mommy and me. And maybe Eve will come to visit." He put a hand on Andrew's shoulder. "Now how about you go help clean up the toys in the library? And be nice to Uncle Steve? Can you do that for me, Sport?"

Andrew nodded and quietly walked back into the library. Shane turned to watch him go and was startled to see that Steve was standing near the doorway. _How much did he hear_?

_Obviously enough._

"You didn't have to say all that, dude," Steve said. "You could've just told the truth."

Shane stood up. "That was the truth."

Steve crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. "So you're saying you don't blame anyone for what happened?"

"Steve. . . ." Shane sighed. "Is there any point to belaboring this? Shouldn't we be focusing on Kim and Kayla."

"There is . . . Honesty," Steve said.

"Okay, honesty." Shane thought for a moment. "Yes, there is someone I blame. I blame Tarrington and the ISA for not making your rescue a priority. The mission should have been authorized from day one. And I blame Lawrence Alamain for taking you. But that's it. I was telling the truth. You're not to blame for that."

Steve fell silent for a minute. "And with Cal?"

Shane sighed again. "I blame myself for not looking into his whereabouts, but, let's face it and be realistic. . . . Who would have thought he could have escaped and covered it up for so long? And, yes, it's bloody hard not to have ISA resources at my disposal, but that isn't your fault any more than my being arrested. And I shouldn't have gone after you for that."

"Neither should I," Steve said. "I mean about not checking on Cal. The only one we should be blaming is Cal. I shouldn't have blamed you - or said anything about Jeannie. Like you told the little dude, sometimes we blame the wrong people."

Shane nodded. They understood each other.

"So are we cool?" Steve asked.

Shane nodded. "Yes."

"So what was all that about going away and England?"

Shane hesitated, then decided he might as well tell Steve about Tarrington's deal. "The day Kim and Kayla disappeared, I made a decision to accept a plea agreement."

"Does that have something to do with why Kim moved out?" Steve asked.

Shane had to think about the answer. _No. Yes. Sort of. _"In a way," he said. "The deal will get me out in about three years and then they'll deport me back to England. That morning, Kim said she'd move there with the kids-"

"Whoa," Steve murmured.

Shane nodded. "I didn't handle it all that well, and I pushed her away. But later, I decided I needed to trust her . . . trust what we had and what we should have. I went over to Caroline's and Shawn's to tell her. That's where I was-"

"Daddy!" Andrew's shout interrupted them, and Shane and Steve rushed into the library. Andrew was standing by the rug and pointing at his sister. "Look at Jeannie."

The little girl was standing next to a curious-looking Stephanie. As everyone watched, Jeannie took a tiny, tentative step, followed by another. Still standing, she looked up at Shane and Steve.

Shane could not stop himself from breaking into a broad grin. Next to him, Steve had a similar expression.

"That's wonderful," Shane exclaimed. Then a thought struck him. _Kim. Jeannie's walking for the first time and Kim's not here. _He glanced at Steve. "I need to record this-"

"For Kim," Steve finished. He nodded and, for a moment, Shane wondered if Steve was thinking about the recording Shane had taken of Stephanie walking for the first time. Then Steve's eye narrowed. "Go get the camera."

"Of course." Shane felt sheepish as he backed out of the room and ran down the hall to the closet where he kept the camera. It took him a moment to find it, but he quickly got everything assembled, checked the battery, and made sure there was a tape inside. Then he rushed back to the library.

Steve was kneeling on the floor in front of Jeannie and urging her to take some more steps. Jeannie's eyes focused instead on Shane, who was watching her through the viewfinder.

"Go on, sweetheart," Shane urged. "Go to Uncle Steve."

Slowly, Jeannie slid her right foot forward then moved her left foot. Then, a bit wobbly, she took a few more steps until she reached Steve.

"There you go!" Steve exclaimed, lifting her up over his head. Shane heard Andrew cheering as well. In Steve's arms, Jeannie laughed.

_You should be here, my love_, Shane thought, even as he joined in the cheering. He felt his eyes sting a little, but fought back any tears. Instead, he focused on the camera, continuing to film as Steve put Jeannie back down on the ground and she took a few more steps before collapsing in a heap next to Stephanie.

Steve grinned at the camera. "Looks like the show's over. But I'm sure her mama's going to be proud when she sees that tape. She's got a lot to be proud of." His expression grew wistful, and Shane could tell Steve was thinking of Kayla.

"We're going to find them," Shane said. For some reason, he suddenly felt confident. There was nothing feigned about his optimism now. Maybe something like seeing a little girl take her first steps gave him true hope, but he knew that Kim was going to see that tape. As that thought passed Shane's mind, he shut off the camera.

Meanwhile, Steve picked up Stephanie. "I'd better take her upstairs and get her ready for bed."

Shane remembered that he had told Andrew the same thing before all the excitement. Then something else popped into his head. "Andrew," Shane said to his son. "Would you go upstairs with Uncle Steve, brush your teeth and get ready for bed? I'll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."

Steve seemed to study Shane momentarily. "You okay, dude?"

"Yeah," Shane said. "I'm fine." Then he looked down at the camera in his hand. "There's just one more thing I've got to do."


	291. Chapter 291

Kayla leaned back against the wall behind the cot and closed her eyes. The cot moved slightly as Kim shifted positions and gave a soft sigh. Since Cal had left the room a little while ago, the sisters had sat together in stunned silence on the little cot.

What Cal had said about Jeannie was unbelievable. Had he really bribed a doctor to lie to Kim about the ultrasound results? Kayla had always been proud to be a member of the medical profession, but the events of the last year were rapidly diminishing her faith in her colleagues. Lawrence had used Dr. Hopkins to fake Steve's death and now, apparently, Cal had blackmailed Dr. Norris to make Kim believe she was carrying Cal's baby.

It was impossible not to think of how many things would have been different over the past two years if Kim and Shane had known the truth. There would have been no reason for Kim to lie to Shane about the baby, and no reason for Kim to have left town. Whatever issues may have lingered because of Cal would have been resolved as Kim and Shane happily prepared for the arrival of their new child.

Kayla sighed softly as her mind continued to churn. If Kim had never left town, Kayla would probably have never moved into Shane's house and, even if she had, she certainly would not have become involved with Shane. She would have been forced to come to terms with her life without Steve in a much different manner. Better? Worse? Kayla supposed it did not really matter. Either way, she would have been in a much different place when Steve had returned.

She had been honest when she had told Kim that she could not completely regret what had happened between her and Shane. But, now, finding out that it never would have happened - never should have happened - but for Cal's lies, she felt her anger growing. So much hurt and anger had come from the belief that Kim was carrying Cal's child.

Most importantly, Shane and Jeannie had been separated for more than a year of her life. Kayla thought about the day of Jeannie's birthday party and his sadness as he described how he struggled to even look at Jeannie - how he could barely look at Jeannie because he kept seeing Cal. As happy as she was that Shane would learn the truth, she knew that the guilt would nearly crush him when he realized he had pushed his own daughter away for so long. Jeannie was yet another victim of Cal's deception.

Feeling her body tense, Kayla rose from the cot and walked to the other side of the room. She wanted to pound on the walls or scream out loud. And, if she was that upset, she could only imagine what Kim must be feeling.

Turning, Kayla looked closely at her sister. Kim was still leaning against the wall and had her eyes closed, but Kayla could see the tears streaming down her face.

"Kimmie?" Kayla called softly, feeling the anger replaced by concern and compassion for her sister.

Kim's eyes slowly opened and Kayla was overwhelmed by the sadness she saw there. She quickly walked back to the cot, sat down, and pulled Kim to her. Kim released a sob she must have been holding back and began crying in Kayla's arms.

For several minutes, Kayla simply held her sister, rocking her slightly and whispering words of comfort as best she could. Finally, Kim sat up and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry-" she began to say.

"Don't apologize," Kayla interrupted. "You have every right to be upset. Are you okay?"

"Okay?" Kim repeated, sounding bitter. "I just found out that everything that happened in the last 18 months was the result of a lie. I lost Shane, I got involved with Lawrence, you and Shane. . . ." Kim stopped and shook her head. "None of it would have happened if I had known the truth."

"I know," Kayla said. "I've been thinking about that myself. So many things would be different right now."

"I should have known." Kim pulled away and stood up. "I never questioned the ultrasound. Hell, I never even questioned it when my 'full term' baby was so small at birth."

"Stop it, Kim," Kayla insisted. "It's not your fault. You believed what the doctor told you, and you had no reason to think the doctor would lie." Kayla realized she was speaking as much to herself as to Kim. "It's not your fault," she repeated.

"You're right," Kim said quietly. Kayla looked quickly at her sister, and was shocked by what she saw. Kim's face seemed devoid of emotion, even her eyes had grown cold.

"Kim?" Kayla said softly.

"You were right Kayla," Kim continued. "The only person to blame for what happened is Cal. He's responsible. And now he's going to pay."

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked, afraid of what her sister might be planning.

Before Kim could answer, they heard the key in the lock that signaled Cal's return. Kayla watched as Kim's face again changed, assuming a mask of happiness at Cal's arrival.

"Good evening, ladies," Cal said as he entered the room. He looked straight at Kim and said tenderly, "I just wanted to see if you needed anything before I said goodnight."

Kayla watched in silence as her sister walked slowly towards Cal. Kim had a soft smile on her face and, if Kayla did not know better, she would have thought Kim was thrilled that Cal was there.

"I'm fine," Kim said as she stopped in front of Cal. Slowly, Kim reached her hand up to caress Cal's face. "I wanted to thank you for telling me the truth about Jeannie. I know you think I was happy to find out Shane is her father, but that's not really true."

Kayla choked back her surprise and did her best to remain passive at Kim's actions. She did not know exactly what Kim was up to, but she knew she owed it to her sister to play along.

"It's not?" Cal asked suspiciously. "You mean you wish she was our child?"

"Maybe," Kim said sounding sincere. "If the circumstances were different and we could raise her together. But that's not really possible now, is it?"

Kayla knew Kim was lying, but had to admire her sister's acting abilities. She could tell that Cal was completely unsure if Kim was serious or not.

"Then why did you seem so happy when I told you the truth?" Cal asked bitterly.

Continuing to caress Cal's cheek, Kim brought her other hand to Cal's side, as he put his arms around her. "Because it was just such a surprise," Kim replied. "But after you left, I realized something. The truth made me understand how wrong I was about Shane. This whole year, he's rejected Jeannie because she wasn't his daughter. Now he'll love her because she is. But she's the same sweet child she has always been. Shane doesn't deserve to have her after the way he's acted. This all just proves that I was right to divorce him."

Kayla closed her eyes as Kim's words. She had been afraid that this was part of Kim's plan. Her sister was using those bitter words to convince Cal that she wanted to be with him in the hope that it would be enough to get Cal to leave Andrew and Jeannie alone - and maybe even agree to leave Kayla alive when they left.

She wanted to scream at Kim to stop, to tell her she couldn't sacrifice herself this way, but she held her tongue. Kim was doing what she believed she had to do to protect her children and, if the places were switched, Kayla would do the same and hope that Kim would understand. Besides, there was still time to convince Kim to change her mind. Cal was not going anywhere tonight.

"You really mean that?" Cal asked softly, appearing to be drawn into Kim's spell. "You really don't want him anymore?"

"Why would I?" Kim said, smiling at Cal. "I've got a man right here who loves me so much he wants to take me away from all the pain and heartache in this town."

"You're lying," Cal said, pulling away from Kim. Kayla held her breath as he grabbed Kim's chin and held it tightly. "You're just trying to trick me."

Kim blinked, biting back tears from Cal's painful grip. Kayla was about to jump up and pull Kim away, but Kim spoke again.

"I'm not lying, Cal," her voice soft, tender, and sincere. "It might have taken me a long time to realize it, but you were right. Everyone will be better off if we are together." Holding his gaze, Kim stepped towards him and again put her arms around him.

Kayla held her breath as her sister leaned forward and kissed Cal softly on the mouth. She fought the urge to scream, shout, or maybe even vomit as Cal crushed Kim to him and kissed her deeply.

Finally, the kiss ended and Kim stepped back as if to catch her breath. "That was pretty convincing," Cal said with a leer. "If I had more time, I'd let you try to convince me even more."

With that, he stepped aside and smiled at Kim one last time before leaving the room. As soon as he was gone, Kim turned and rushed to the bathroom. Kayla listened as Kim washed her face quickly, knowing she wanted all traces of Cal's touch gone.

When Kim emerged from the bathroom, she looked better than she had since their ordeal began. "Are you okay?" Kayla asked.

"I'm better than okay," Kim responded with a smile. Opening up her hand, Kim revealed a key. "I'm getting us out of here - tonight."


	292. Chapter 292

Steve carried Stephanie into the guest room Simmons had set up for his use. A part of him thought it was ridiculous that he and Stephanie were staying there when they could just go home. But Steve just was not ready to face that apartment without Kayla there. And at least here, he had Simmons as a back-up babysitter.

As he set Stephanie down in the crib, Steve was only mildly surprised to find a pair of pajamas waiting there. Steve had no idea where Simmons would have gotten them, but he had little doubt they would fit perfectly and that there would be a fresh outfit for Stephanie in the morning. As had been the case at Donovan Manor, every detail would be seen to.

Within a few minutes, Steve had a wriggling Stephanie changed and ready for bed. Holding her in his arms he walked slowly around the room humming a soft tune. As usual, the music worked; it was not long before Stephanie's eyelids were drooping.

Smiling at his daughter, Steve placed her gently in the crib and softly stroked her hair. As he stood there, memories flooded his mind. He remembered the day Stephanie was born and how, despite all the turmoil and uncertainty surrounding them, it had been the happiest day of their lives.

Stepping back from the crib, Steve sat down on the bed and smiled as he remembered his initial reaction to Kayla being in labor. He had tried so hard to stay calm, but it was really Kayla who had it under control. The best he could do was serve ice chips and regale her with stories to keep her focused on anything but the pain.

And then their daughter had arrived, and Steve had been overwhelmed by emotions he had never believed possible. Love, happiness, completeness had all been just dreams prior to Kayla and Stephanie. But, for a brief shining moment, he had everything he had ever dreamed of in his life. And then it was gone.

Steve knew that there was only one thing that kept him alive during those 10 long months in Alamain's hell. It was the chance, however remote, of making it back to his wife and daughter. Without the reality of his family, without the possibility of seeing them again, he would have given up long before Shane and the ISA arrived.

And what had he done when he returned? Instead of being grateful for being brought home to his family, he had been bitter. Instead of focusing on the fact that he had been granted a second chance, he had spent much of his time focusing on what he had lost, not what he had found. And, worst of all, instead of understanding that he was not the only one who had suffered, he had pushed aside Kayla's grief and thought only of his own feelings of betrayal.

Even as he and Kayla had worked through some of these issues, they had never been fully resolved. He remembered how Kayla had talked about feeling like she was walking on eggshells, never wanting to say or do something that might trigger his hurt and anger. He had walled himself off from her pain, never being willing to set aside his own long enough to really understand what she had gone through when he left.

And now, here he was, staying in the same house - maybe even the same room - where Kayla had lived when he was gone. Steve could not help but chuckle silently at the irony. She had told him that she had stayed with Shane because she could not bear to be in their house alone. He had heard the words, but never really understood them until now.

She had spoken of being lost, alone, and scared. But instead of letting her really share her emotion with him, he had focused on the person who had been there to help her through that time.

He looked at his daughter sleeping peacefully a few feet away. Why had he been so angry that she had been loved and cared for? Isn't that what he should have been wishing for? Someone to love and protect his daughter the way she deserved?

And Kayla? Since the moment he had fallen for her, he had wanted nothing but the best for her. And, for a long time, that had meant almost anyone but him. Steve remembered how she had asked him if he would have really wanted her to remain alone once he was gone. The question had caught him off guard, but he had answered honestly - that was never what he would have wanted for her.

So why was the reality so hard to deal with? Why did he let it come between him and Kayla the way he had? He did not doubt Kayla's love for him; it had been there in her eyes the first moment she saw him at Donovan Manor. So why had he been unable to accept that and move on with their lives?

As he leaned back against the pillows, Steve silently felt the emotions he had been holding back for days threatening to overwhelm him. Despite all that time he had been kept away from his family, this was different. When he had been gone, he had at least taken some comfort in believing that Kayla was safe. There was no such comfort now. He was simply enduring a different kind of captivity.

Stifling back the sobs that threatened to erupt, Steve silently begged for one more chance to make things right. God knows he did not deserve it, but Kayla did - and Stephanie did. He did not know how much longer he could go on without something to give him hope.

At that thought, Steve looked again at Stephanie and knew that he would go on as long as he had to. He had no choice because his daughter needed him to stay strong. Kayla had mentioned that it had been Stephanie that had kept her going after she thought he had died. Just one more thing he had not really understood until now.

Closing his eye, Steve let his exhaustion wash over him. _Please come home to me, baby. I don't think I can do this without you._


	293. Chapter 293

Kim turned the key over and over in her hand as she pressed her ear against the door. She had been standing there for what felt like hours, listening to Cal through the door.

_When is he going to go to sleep_? she wondered. _He has to sleep, doesn't he_?

"Is he still there?" Kayla whispered. She was standing right behind Kim.

Hearing shuffling from the other room, Kim nodded. In her mind, she pictured the building. They had entered through the main hangar and then had gone through the door into the hallway with the room they were in. Kim knew there was an open area to the right and figured that must lead to a back door.

_Now we just need Cal to give us enough time to make our break._

Kim tried to think. Now that she knew Cal was not staying in Salem to grab Jeannie, it changed things. He might decide to take her at any time - maybe, first thing in the morning. They could not wait for Cal to sleep. The next chance they got to make a break for it, they would go.

Kim heard footsteps through the door and held her breath. _Don't come in here_, she begged silently. If Cal reached for his key and did not find it, she did not want to think of what he might do. _Just keep walking._

Thankfully, the footsteps did not even hesitate near the door. As they passed, Kim leaned against the door again and heard the sound of another door closing. She was pretty sure it came from her left, in the direction of the hangar.

"Now," she hissed, as she inserted the key into the lock. It opened easily and she slipped into the hallway, Kayla right behind.

"Which way?" Kayla whispered.

If Cal was in the hangar, their only option was to go the other way. Kim pulled Kayla down the hallway.

The hallway ended in an open area that looked like a waiting area. There was a sofa and a couple of chairs - and the exit. Kim made a beeline toward it and reached for the knob.

"Stop!" Kayla cried, even though she kept her voice quiet. Kim spun around to see Kayla pointing at the side of door. Turning back around, Kim looked to where Kayla was pointing. There was some kind of white lump on the wall.

"What is that?" Kim asked. She looked closer and saw that a series of wires ran from the lump to the door and the window next to it. As the realization set in, she swallowed hard. _Explosives. I could have just killed us both._

She quickly looked around the room. They could not go through the back door or window. There was a door on the side of the reception area, so Kim rushed over to it and opened it. It was a bare room with a mattress and some clothes in it, obviously where Cal was staying. Kim spotted a window, but it too had the telltale wires and a white lump on the wall.

Turning back, Kim took Kayla's hand. "We have to go out the front."

"But if Cal's there-"

Kim cut Kayla off. "We'll need to sneak past him." They were getting out of there right now. Together, they went back down the hallway to the hangar door. Kim listened quickly and, hearing no sounds, opened it. _Maybe Cal left for some reason_, she thought.

"Come on," she whispered to Kayla, as she spotted the car on the opposite side of the plane.

"Going somewhere, ladies?"

Kim froze at the sound of Cal's voice. Slowly, she turned her head to the right. Cal was leaning against the wall as if he had been waiting for them. He also was holding his gun.

"Nice trick with the key, young lady," he said. He stood straight and waved the gun in his right hand. "It's too bad that I decided to come back to see you and realized I had somehow lost my key. It couldn't possibly have happened when you kissed me, could it?"

"No," Kim lied. "You must have dropped it. I found it on the floor. . . . I just thought-"

"Enough!" Cal screamed. He pointed the gun at them and ordered, "Get back in there."

Keeping her eyes on Cal, Kim backed toward the door to the hallway. She felt Kayla's hand on her shoulder. _Please don't let him hurt her_, Kim prayed silently as she tried to think. They slowly backed through the door toward the windowless room that was their prison.

"You think I'm stupid, Kimberly?" Cal asked. "You don't think I know what you were? You think it's so easy to use me . . . well, I'm not going to let you use me." He continued to wave the gun at them and Kim could see his index finger flexing as if ready to pull the trigger.

"Cal . . . please," Kim begged. "I swear I'm not using you. And I swear I found the key. You must have dropped it."

Cal's eyes gleamed, shining bright with an insane light. "Then you should have returned the key to me instead of trying to run away."

"Oh no, Cal," Kim said quickly. "I wasn't running away. I was just . . . I was just trying to get Kayla away. I told you. I'm coming with you. I just wanted to get Kayla out of here."

Cal laughed. "If that's what you want, Kim, I can give you that right now." He raised the gun and pointed it at Kayla. "We can get rid of her right now."


	294. Chapter 294

"I have something for you," came the voice through the cell bars. Lawrence sat up in his bunk at the guard who was standing outside.

Lawrence climbed out of his bunk and walked to the cell door. He did not have to really worry about being overheard. His currently was the only occupant of his cell; Bentley, his former cellmate, had been transferred down the block - far enough to no longer be a nuisance but close enough to keep an eye on if he decided to talk about Lawrence.

"Go ahead," Lawrence said.

The guard passed Lawrence a newspaper, a copy of the Chronicle. He quickly scanned the headline: "_Spy Trial Kidnapping: Real or Hoax?_" Lawrence chuckled as he wondered how Shane Donovan had made such enemies in the press corps. Beneath the headline were photos of Kim, Kayla and a man identified as Cal Winters.

"So that's the infamous Cal Winters," Lawrence muttered as he studied the photo. It was ironic that this was the first time Lawrence had even seen what Winters looked like. _After everything I've done for him_.

"I have this, too," the guard said. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out an envelope. "It's from Mr. Marais."

Now that was interesting. Ivan rarely wrote anything out, preferring to keep communications simple and in a manner that could not easily be intercepted. This must be important.

"Leave me," Lawrence said. "Return in 20 minutes and I may have something more for you."

Turning from the cell doors, Lawrence opened the letter as he walked back to his bunk. Taking a seat, he pulled out a cigarette lighter, ignited it, and held it up so he could read the letter.

It was all very good news. Ivan had been "liberally sprinkling the flowers and they would be in bloom in time for Lawrence's parole hearing, which had been moved up to next week." Lawrence chuckled, wondering how much money Ivan had "sprinkled" to state parole officials.

Meanwhile, the company seemed to be progressing. The planned December launch was now on schedule and the "little three-letter problems seemed to have been weeded out." Lawrence thought it almost a shame that Shane Donovan was no longer investigating the toxin. How many bodies would he have to account for at this point? And how many ISA agents had to die before they gave up? They would never catch Lawrence.

There were a few other details in the letter. Katerina had taken on a new project at the hospital. It was very hush-hush and seemed to have some connection to a lab in Washington DC. That intrigued Lawrence. Perhaps he should see what Katerina was up to.

Also, Ivan had been watching the reporters who had invaded Salem and had identified a few who might provide sympathetic coverage of Lawrence, if necessary. For now, with the parole hearing moved up, Lawrence believed he had no reason to use the media. But it was good to know about this Rachel Knight, if they needed to sway public opinion.

Lawrence gave the letter a quick re-read, and then placed the flame from the lighter at the bottom edge of the paper. The fire caught, creating a quick flare that illuminate the grin on Lawrence's face. He let the fire spread and consume nearly half the paper before he tossed the burning paper into the steel sink.

That was all good.

Returning to his bunk, Lawrence pulled out the lighter again and flicked it on so he could read the article. He chuckled when he saw the author of the lead story was the same Rachel Knight that Ivan had mentioned.

Lawrence did have to laugh at the very notion that Donovan would fake the kidnapping. The man was far too much of a straight-arrow to be that creative. But then, Lawrence had the added benefit of knowing exactly how and why Cal Winters was in Salem.

He just needed Winters to avoid getting caught until after the parole hearing. While Lawrence doubted Winters knew enough to connect him to his prison escape, avoiding even that remote possibility would be far preferable.

It was a shame about Kimberly, though. If Winters got away completely with Kimberly, that would make it impossible for Lawrence to rekindle his relationship with her. But if that was a sacrifice Lawrence had to make, so be it. It was an unfortunate by-product of the former plan. And Lawrence could not complain too much; if not for Donovan's arrest, Winters would have been necessary - and it seemed as though he was performing his job admirably.

Still, perhaps all was not lost. When Lawrence was free, he could put out feelers for Winters, maybe even grant him sanctuary in Alamainia. If Winters managed to keep his and Kimberly's whereabouts a secret until that point, it would take little effort to make Winters disappear without a trace. Then Kimberly could make her permanent home with Lawrence at the villa, very much like Lawrence had planned for Jennifer Horton to do.

"We shall see," Lawrence said to himself. Overall, things were progressing well. He fully expected that, in just a week, he would be out of prison and on a plane for his villa. There, beyond the reach of western authorities and the ISA, Lawrence would oversee the final development of the toxin.

Oh, but he would return to Salem. In December, Lawrence would perform the final test to make sure the toxin was at maximum efficacy. Donovan might be the first of its residents to fall, but he would be just the first. No, Lawrence still had to give the world a sneak preview of its future.

He could see the people of Salem mourning their dead. They would suffer, but it hardly mattered. They had spurned Lawrence and he would make them forever regret their transgressions. He would make sure that the Alamain name haunted their dreams and turned their days into living nightmares.

Lawrence smiled. He would have his retribution and, at the same time, he would restore the Alamain name to glory.

A rapping at the bars made him look up. The guard had returned. "You got anything for me?" he asked.

"Just pass along a message," Lawrence replied. "Tell Ivan that 'everything is perfect.'"

_Absolutely perfect._


	295. Chapter 295

"We can get rid of her right now."

Kim's chest tightened at Cal's words and she stepped protectively in front of Kayla. "Please, Cal, I swear . . . I'll do whatever you want. Just don't hurt her."

The gun wavered a little, as if Cal was debating pulling the trigger.

"Please," Kim repeated.

Behind her, Kayla's breathing was coming in short bursts. Kim could feel her sister's fear.

"I just wanted her safe." Kim studied Cal's eyes, trying to figure out if anything she was saying was getting through. "Just please don't hurt her."

Cal's finger tensed around the trigger. Kayla's hand brushed Kim's shoulder from behind, and Kim felt tears stinging her eyes.

"Please!"

The gun lowered.

"Thank you," Kim whispered, this time needing no effort to make it sound sincere.

"No more games, Kim," Cal said. He stepped toward her and took the key from her hand. "I'm not a fool."

Kim swallowed hard. "Okay, Cal. . . ." She was out of ideas to trick him. "You know me. You know I'd do anything to protect my family."

"I'm listening." Cal crossed his arms, still holding he gun in his right hand.

Kayla's hand was still on Kim's shoulder. "Don't do this," Kayla whispered.

_It's too late_, Kim thought. _We tried to escape, but failed. This is the only way._ She looked up at Cal. "You want me, Cal. You can have me. I'll go with you - willingly. I won't fight. I won't try to escape. Whatever you want. Wherever you take me."

"And in exchange?" he asked.

"You let Kayla go, and you don't do anything to hurt Andrew and Jeannie. Or their father. With me gone, they'll need him."

Cal's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "I don't know if you could do that. After your lies, I don't know if I can believe you."

"I'm not lying," Kim insisted. _I'm not. _"If loving you is what it takes to keep my children and my sister safe, then you'll have my love." She smiled. "Remember what we had . . . without Shane. Do you remember when we made love for the first time? Or when you put your ring on my finger? We can find that love again, Cal."

She stepped toward him. She stopped momentarily as she saw him tense, but then he relaxed a little. Kim touched his arm, caressing it softly. Inside, she felt her stomach churning and the bile rising in her chest, but she did not let that stop her.

Their lips met in a long kiss that she tried to make as passionate as possible. It seemed to work, because Cal's arms wrapped around her and he ran a hand along her back. Kim did her best not to shudder.

As the kiss ended, she repeated in a soft whisper, "Whatever you want, Cal. I'll do anything." She reached behind her back and took his hand. "Why don't we go to your room?"

"Kimmie," Kayla's tortured voice came from behind her. "You don't have to do this."

"Be quiet," Cal snapped. "I could still change my mind about getting rid of you."

Kim winced at the sound of his voice. "But you don't want to," she said softly. "You want to take me away and let Kayla go. She won't know where we're going, so there's no reason to hurt her." Kim reached up and ran a hand along the line of his jaw, tilting his head toward her. "You know you want me, Cal." She pushed down the bile once more. "Let me show you just what you can have."

Cal studied her, the insane leer plain in his eyes. She ran her hand over his chest, knowing she had him. His resistance was crumbling. "Let me show you, Cal."

"In that filthy room?" Kayla asked, interrupting once more. Kim turned and shot her sister a sharp glare, but Kayla's answering look seemed even more determined as she focused on Cal. "Is that how you show someone you love them? You'd make love to Kim in that dirty room on that flimsy mattress."

Cal stiffened, then stepped back.

"It's okay," Kim whispered, worried that Cal would again turn his anger on Kayla. "It doesn't matter where."

"No," Cal said. "She's right this time." He looked down into Kim's eyes. "When we make love, it's going to be special, Kim. Like you deserve."

She smiled at him, playing along, but she knew her relief would be short-lived. Kayla had spared Kim the humiliation of sleeping with Cal that night, but it would just prolong the inevitable. "Then tomorrow, my love," she said, stepping toward him once more. "When we leave Salem and you let Kayla go."

Cal stepped back and an expression of distrust flashed across his face. "I have to think about this, Kim. I have to think about whether I trust you." He looked around the room once more. "No more tricks, ladies. I'm right outside, so if you try anything, I'll stop you. And I promise, if you try any more tricks. . . ." He stared intently at Kayla. "Well . . . let's just say we won't be having any more discussions about little sister going home."

He turned, walked out the door, and closed it behind him. Kim heard him insert the key in the lock and the click as it turned.

Behind her, Kayla whispered in a horrified tone, "What have you done, Kim?"

Kim shook her head, knowing Kayla could never fully understand. "I did what I had to, Kay . . . just what I had to do."


	296. Chapter 296

Steve tossed fitfully on the bed, cringing at each slight noise he made. He looked towards the crib where Stephanie was, but she appeared to still be sleeping soundly.

Knowing that would not be the case if her father kept rustling around, Steve quietly got up and threw on the shirt he had removed only a few hours before. As tired as he was, he could not sleep for more than a few minutes without being awakened by dreams of Kayla - hurt . . . or worse.

Taking a last look at his sleeping daughter, Steve crept silently from the room and headed back downstairs.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs, he could see the light still on in the library and figured that Shane must not have had any more luck at sleeping than Steve had.

Steve quietly opened the library door and nodded at Shane, who was sitting at the desk and reviewing a file. Shane nodded in return and gestured silently towards the coffee service sitting on the side table.

Rubbing his tired eye, Steve poured himself a cup of coffee and then retrieved a file from Shane's desk. There was nothing in it that he had not already read several times, but at least it gave him some pretense of doing something.

After several minutes of staring and information he had already memorized, Steve spoke quietly. "Come up with anything new?"

Shane looked up and shook his head. Then he got up from the desk and walked to the side table for another cup of tea. "I've been over those bloody files a million times, but there's just nothing there."

"I know," Steve replied. Although neither said it, they both knew that, at this point, their only hope was that somebody would call with information. And with each hour that passed, it felt less and less likely that they would receive such a break.

Steve studied Shane and realized something was different. Shane was wearing a shoulder holster with a gun in it. Steve wondered why, but decided against asking about it for the moment.

"Did Stephanie get to sleep okay?" Shane asked when he returned to the desk. "I mean, I presume Simmons provided everything she needed?"

"Yeah," Steve grunted. "I don't know how that dude does it, but he had everything all set up. She went right to sleep." Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I guess she's used to being here though."

Shane looked closely at Steve and then nodded. "I'm glad you let her stay. I think it was good for all of the children."

"I think you're right," Steve replied. "The girls are too young to really know what's going on, but I think they still sense something isn't right?"

"Well, hopefully everything will be right very soon," Shane said, almost sounding like he believed it.

Steve's eye narrowed. "You believe it so much that you're packing heat?"

Shane looked down at the holster and then shrugged. "Something just felt, I don't know . . . off. Like something's about to happen. If Cal comes for Jeannie, I wanted to be prepared."

Steve understood. He remembered the kind of feeling Shane was describing from when he was a cop. The night before a big bust, he would spend knowing something was going to happen and just waiting for that moment when it was time to act. Until then, sleep was impossible, not with all that adrenaline pumping through his veins.

"Thought you'd be used to stuff like this-"

"What? Having people I care about kidnapped?" There was a sharp edge to Shane's voice.

Steve raised his hands. "No. Sorry. I mean this feeling like something's about to happen and all hell is going to break loose. I figured with the ISA, you'd done enough operations so-"

Before Steve could finish, his words were drowned out by the loud ring of the telephone. Steve and Shane exchanged a quick glance, each knowing that there was only one reason the phone would be ringing so late.

Steve rushed to the desk as Shane reached for the phone. "Hello," he answered. Shane's eyes widened in surprise. "Yes, he's here. Who should I say is calling?" There was a pause, followed by a "Right."

Shane looked at Steve and held out the phone. "It's for you. He says to tell you it's Jimmy and it's important."

Steve grabbed the phone, knowing Jimmy would not have tracked him down without a reason. "Jimmy? It's Steve."

"Hey, Patch. I know it's late, but I need you to get down to the Heart as soon as you can."

"What's going on?" Steve held his breath.

"I can't get into over the phone." It sounded like Jimmy was deliberately keeping his voice low. "Just get here as quick as you can."

"All right, dude. I'll be right there."

"Good." Jimmy's relief was evident. "And come in through the back entrance. I'll make sure it's unlocked."

"Got it." Steve hung up the phone and turned to Shane. "I've got to go. Can you keep an eye on Stephanie for me, or at least let Simmons know to keep an eye on her?"

"Of course," Shane said. "But what the bloody hell was that about?"

"I don't know." Steve shrugged, grabbing his jacket off the couch. "Jimmy said he couldn't get into it over the phone. But he wouldn't have called me if it wasn't important."

"And you think it's about Kim and Kayla?"

"That's what I'm hoping," Steve replied heading for the door. "Look, I'll call you as soon as I know something. Just be ready to go if I do call."

"You won't need to call, because I'm going with you." Shane's tone brooked no argument. "If this is about Kim and Kayla, I want to be there."

Steve sighed, knowing he would feel the same way. "All right, dude. But you have to follow my lead on this. These people know me. They don't know you."

"I understand," Shane replied. "Just let me let Simmons know, so he can watch the children."

Steve nodded and waited impatiently as Shane left to notify Simmons. After a couple of minutes, Shane returned. Steve started to head to the door, but Shane told him to wait.

"Are you armed?" Shane asked.

Steve frowned. His gun was at the apartment. He doubted he would need a gun at the Heart, but who knows where the lead might take them. "No."

Shane walked over to his desk, opened the center drawer, and fished out a key. Then he unlocked another drawer and pulled out a 9 mm Beretta. He ejected the clip, checked it, reinserted it, and then held the gun out to Steve.

As Steve reached for the gun, Shane moved suddenly. His free hand slapped down on Steve's right wrist and grasped it tightly. For a second, Steve felt his heart skip a beat, but then he relaxed and stared into Shane's eyes.

"Okay?" Shane asked.

Steve nodded, understanding Shane's question. "Fine."

Shane let go of Steve's wrist and looked down at the gun in his other hand. "I had to be sure," he said. Then he held out the gun. "Don't forget to adjust the sites."

Steve rolled his eye. "Yeah, dude." Then he grinned. "You do know I was dogging it that day, don't you?" He saw Shane's eyes widen, but did not wait for a response. Continuing to grin, Steve turned. He adjusted the sites on the gun as he headed for the door. Shane followed silently behind.

Thanks to the lack of traffic at 1:30 in the morning, they made it to the Heart in record time. Shane parked the car, and they moved around the building to the employee entrance on the back side. Steve quietly opened the door and peaked in.

"Jimmy," he called quietly. "It's Steve. Are you here?"

Hearing no answer, Steve stepped inside as Shane followed behind. Moving slowly to the kitchen, Steve could see Jimmy standing behind the bar. "Jimmy," he called quietly.

Jimmy turned at the sound and then said something to two men sitting at the bar. The men nodded and Jimmy left the bar and entered the kitchen area.

"Patch!" he said excitedly. Then he noticed Shane. "What's he doing here?"

"The same thing I am," Steve said. "So why don't you tell us what's going on?"

Jimmy kept his voice low while he told them about a man who had come in earlier in the evening. He had sat down that the bar and then noticed the pictures that Steve had posted the previous day. Jimmy told them that he had noticed the man paying particular attention to the picture of Cal. Then the man had begun asking questions - what were the pictures for, what had happened, who were the women? That kind of thing.

"Didn't think too much of it at first," Jimmy said. "Lot's of people have asked questions, but this guy just seemed really intense. Then, after I told him, he started asking for shots instead of just the beer he had been drinking."

"So you think he knows something?" Steve asked. "Where is the guy now?"

"He's half-passed out in a booth in the back," Jimmy said, apologetically. "You know Matt and Jake, right?" Steve nodded. "They're keeping an eye on him for me, but I don't think he's in any shape to go anywhere."

"If you thought he knew something, why did you let him get so bloody drunk?" Shane asked, the irritation plain in his voice.

"Because I wasn't sure until right before I called Patch," Jimmy snapped back.

"All right." Steve held up his hands. "So what made you decide to call me?"

"I had the radio playing like I always do this time of night," Jimmy replied, still giving a hard look at Shane. "The news report came on saying there were no updates in the kidnapping case and then the reporter said that the FBI was expanding its search nationwide."

"And?" Steve prompted.

"Well . . . the guy started laughing. I asked him what's so funny and he says the FBI's looking all over the country for some guy who's not that far away." Jimmy looked at Patch. "That's when I called you."

"Good job." Steve clapped Jimmy on the shoulder. "Did he say anything else?"

"No," Jimmy said. "He looked like he realized he said something he shouldn't and clammed up. I just acted like I hadn't really understood him because I didn't want to spook him. He tried to leave, but could barely walk. I had the boys help him to a corner booth and acted like I was calling him a cab when I called you."

"Okay." Steve turned to Shane and gestured him forward. "Let's go find out what our drunk dude knows."

Walking out of the kitchen and into the bar, Steve nodded at the burly dock workers sitting at the bar. They looked at Shane with suspicion, but said nothing as Steve and Shane walked towards the booth in the back.

The man was sprawled out and snoring loudly. Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him upright, "Come on, dude, time to wake up."

The man snorted and flopped over. "Great," Shane said behind Steve. "He's completely useless."

"Not completely," Steve replied. "Hey Jimmy, do me a favor and get some coffee going will you? We're just going to have help this guy sober up."

"That could take hours," Shane snapped.

"I know," Steve replied. "I don't like it any more than you do, but this is the first hint of any information we've had since Kim and Kayla disappeared. If I have to serve this guy coffee all night to sober him up, that's what we'll do."

Shane nodded and slid into the opposite side of the booth. "You'd better tell Jimmy to bring enough coffee for all of us. It's going to be a long night."

Steve knew Shane was right. And then, Steve suspected, all hell was going to break loose.


	297. Chapter 297

"What have you done, Kim?" Kayla whispered as Cal left the room.

Kim shook her head. "I did what I had to, Kay - just what I had to do."

"No!" Kayla nearly shouted. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to go with him." Kayla felt her desperation grow as Kim remained impassive. "Listen to me, Kim. You know that Shane and Steve are going to find us. You just have to hold on a little longer."

Kim shook her head again. "There's no more time, Kayla."

"What are you talking about?" Kayla was desperate to get through to her sister. "I know you had to do something when Cal caught us, but that's over now. When he comes back, you can tell him you changed you mind."

Kim laughed bitterly. "You think Cal will accept that? Come on, Kay, you're smarter than that. If I tell him I was just leading him on, he's only going to get more angry."

Kayla paced around the tiny room, trying to think of something to change her sister's mind. There had to be some way out of the situation.

As if reading Kayla's mind, Kim spoke softly behind her. "There are no more options left, Kay. Even if I could stall Cal longer and hope we would be found, there's too much risk involved."

"To me, you mean?" Kayla said harshly. "I'm the reason you're doing this."

"Not just you," Kim replied. "You heard Cal talk about breaking my links to the past. Every day we stay here is another day when he might try to kill Andrew and Jeannie. If I go with him, they'll be safe."

"Shane will keep the kids safe, Kim." Kayla pleaded with her sister to understand. "He won't let anybody come near them. You have to know that."

"I know he'll try. He'll keep them locked up so tight, they'll probably never leave the garden gates." Kim looked at Kayla with eyes filled with unshed tears. "And you've heard Cal. . . . He's insane. There's no way to stop him if he really wants to get to Andrew and Jeannie. And even if he's stopped, my children could still be caught in the cross-fire. I can't take that chance."

"So what am I supposed to do? Just let you go with that madman?" Kayla cried in frustration. "I can't do that."

"Yes, you can." Kim walked over to Kayla and put an arm around her. "You can, because there is no other choice."

"There's always a choice," Kayla said stubbornly. "And my choice is not letting you do this."

Kim sighed softly, then turned Kayla to face her. "All right, little sister, it's time for some cold, hard truths. The truth is that it doesn't matter for me whether Cal takes my deal or not. Either way, he's taking me with him. He just gets to choose between a willing or unwilling prisoner."

"Then why would Cal consider your offer at all?" Kayla asked, confused.

"Because in that insane mind of his, he wants me to love him." Kim shrugged. "And even in the midst of that insanity, he knows that I could never really love him if he kills my children or my sister. I'm offering him what he really wants."

Kayla was incredulous. "He can't believe that you would really love him after all of this?"

"I think he wants to believe it, and that's enough for now," Kim explained. "Maybe he doesn't really care if I'm only pretending to love him. It's enough to keep his delusion going."

"Then why feed his fantasy, Kim?" Kayla asked, needing to hear her sister say it. "Why go with him voluntarily and pretend to love him? Why not make his life the same living hell he's going to make yours?"

Kim choked out the words. "Because if I don't, he's going to kill you. . . . That's the truth, Kayla, and you know it."

"So you're asking me to let you sacrifice your life for mine?" Kayla shook her head. "I can't do that."

"I already told you. . . . It's not your choice to make, Kay." Kim put her hands on Kayla's shoulders. "Look at me. Do you think I could live with knowing you died because of me? Either way, Cal's taking me, and the only way I can get through this is knowing that I at least kept my family safe."

Kayla felt the tears run down her face and saw them matched by the tears on her sister's cheeks. She wanted to yell and scream until Kim came to her senses, but Kayla did not know what else to say.

"I can survive whatever is going to happen if I know that my children are safe and you are home with Steve and Stephanie where you belong." Kim gently wiped the tears off Kayla's face. "But I won't survive it if I know that my family is hurt . . . or worse . . . because of me."

"It's only temporary, Kim." Kayla desperately grasped at any bit of hope she could find. "Shane will never stop looking for you and they will find you and rescue you."

"No!" Kim said sharply. "When we leave and Cal lets you go, I want you to tell Shane and the family to let it go and not to look for me."

"What?" Kayla was shocked. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's too dangerous," Kim replied sadly. "I know Cal, and he'll have some way of keeping an eye on what Shane's doing. If he gets too close, Cal will go after Shane and possibly the children. It's just too risky."

Kayla did not respond. No matter what Kim said, there was no way that Kayla would tell anybody to stop looking for Kim. If Kayla had to do it herself, she would make sure Kim was returned to her family.

"Kayla?" Kim gave her sister a pointed stare. "I know Shane will try. Even after everything that happened between us, I know he'll want to look, but you have to stop him. It's too dangerous. So, please, promise you'll tell them not to look for me. Promise me."

Kayla nodded, knowing that Kim would not stop until Kayla agreed. But she silently repeated her vow to make sure Kim was found and brought home.

"Good," Kim said, trying to smile. "It'll be okay, Kay. It will."

Kayla could see the lie behind Kim's words and attempted smile. As much as her sister was trying to pretend otherwise, Kayla knew it would never be okay.

Staggering to the cot as she felt her legs begin to buckle from the emotions she was feeling, Kayla sat down and began to sob. She could no longer hold back her fear and grief. After a moment, she felt Kim sit beside her, put her arms around her and hold her gently.

Finally, Kayla's sobs slowed and she raised her head and looked at her sister. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "For everything."

Kim gave Kayla comforting smile and then leaned back against the wall, still holding Kayla in her arms. "Just rest now. Everything will be over soon."


	298. Chapter 298

Shane stood up from the table and headed for the bar to refill his coffee cup. Behind him, Steve continued to press their groggy friend. Looking at the clock behind the bar, Shane saw that it was nearing 6 a.m. They had been trying to sober the man up for more than four hours. And all they had for it was that his name was Bob.

Jimmy was watching him, Shane realized. Shane had been to the bar a few times before, but he was still law enforcement in the eyes of the bartender. Either that or a notorious criminal. No, probably law enforcement. As a criminal, Shane would have been made to feel more welcome.

Taking a sip of the sludge the bartender called coffee, Shane headed back to the table. Steve was leaning across the table.

"Come on, dude," Steve said. "I'm just asking. You said the FBI's looking in the wrong place. That sounds to me like you know the right place."

"Not sayin' nothin' to no cops," Bob the drunk muttered.

Steve rolled his eye. "I'm not a cop." He raised the picture of Cal Winters again. "So why don't you tell me where the guy in this photo is?"

Bob leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms defiantly.

For a moment, Shane had the urge to drag Bob out of the bar and take him on a little trip to the Salem tunnels. A few minutes suspended over the Salem river might loosen Bob's tongue, just like it had Johnny Corelli's. Unfortunately, the only way to reach the tunnels at this hour would be to break into Wings or Alice's. And a breaking-and-entering charge probably would not be appreciated very much by Judge Lambert. If Bob's information did not pan out, Shane did not want to be stuck behind bars with Kim and Kayla still missing.

"Bob, I'm asking you nicely." Steve sounded like he could barely contain his frustration. "Do you have a wife, Bob? Any family?" He pointed at the picture of Kayla. "That's my wife. Try to imagine your wife in the hands of a killer. So I'm asking you . . . no, I'm begging you. Tell me where she is. Whatever you know."

Shane shook his head. Steve was deluding himself if he thought reason was going to work on Bob. A guy like this did not respond to begging. Shane was about to say something, when he saw Steve give him a sideways glance.

_Steve knows it too._

With a curt nod, Shane walked slowly to the table. He leaned over so his face was only inches from Bob's.

"My friend's trying to be a nice chap," Shane said, his voice low and dangerous. "I'm not nearly as nice."

Bob looked Shane over and smirked. "Yeah, like I believe that." He nodded at Shane's button down shirt and coat. "Maybe you can show me after tea."

"Uh oh," Steve muttered, rolling his eye for effect.

Shane hardly needed the prompt. His hand shot out and grabbed Bob by the scruff of his neck. Shane dragged the man out of the booth, pulled him upright and slammed him against a wall.

"Hey!" Jimmy shouted from the bar, as a couple of photos from the wall crashed to the floor.

"Send me the bill," Shane called back. His eyes never left Bob. "Now . . . Bob . . . why don't you tell me where Cal Winters is?"

Bob shook his head. "I don't have ta tell you nothin'."

"No, you don't," Shane said. "But it'll hurt a lot less if you do." As he talked, he fished inside Bob's jacket and found the man's wallet. Without turning his head, Shane tossed the wallet to Steve. "See if there's anything in there."

As Steve started to look through the wallet, Shane tightened his grip and leaned close to Bob. His breath reeked of alcohol. "My patience is really wearing real thin, Bob. My kids need their mother, and I'm not going to sit here when you bloody know something about where she is."

Bob tried to pull away, but his head was pinned against the wall.

"Hey," Steve said. "Lookee here. Our friend Bob - or should I say, Robert Nathan Morris - lives over by the warehouse district. Hmm . . . and this is a badge for Broxton Airfield."

"Now that's interesting." Shane looked the man in his eyes. "So is it one of those places? Have you seen Winters at one of them?" The last words were little more than a snarl.

"I ain't tellin' you nothin'. Not to some limey traitor, I don't."

Shane gave the man a cruel smile. "I'm almost glad you said that," Shane said. He pulled Bob back from the wall and shoved him into it again, ignoring the cry it elicited from the bartender. "So you know who I am. Good. Then you know I'm already up for life in prison for murder. So what's another charge to me?"

He saw something flash in Bob's eyes. Fear.

"And if you watch the news, you also know I was ISA. Do you know how many different ways they teach us to cause pain? Ways that don't show. And if you don't think I have a dozen ways to make you disappear without anyone knowing. . . ." Shane put a hand around Bob's throat and called out to Steve. "Any family pictures in there?"

"Yeah," Steve replied. That was when Shane realized Steve was right next to him. He stuck a wallet-sized photo into the corner of Shane's field of vision, so he could see Bob holding a young girl in his arms, while another stood next to him."

"Pretty girls," Shane said. "I hope you said goodbye to them this morning, old chap. Think about how they're always going to wonder where Daddy went and why. After I'm done with you, they're going to spend the rest of their lives probably thinking you walked out on them. They'll never even know the truth."

The fear flashed again. Bob's eyes darted away from Shane to Steve.

"Not much I can do, dude," Steve said. He sounded almost apologetic.

"No there isn't," Shane added. He reached inside his jacket and pulled his gun from his holster. "So, now, Bob . . . this really is your last chance." For effect, Shane asked Steve, "How about I start with the kneecap? It won't kill, but it's about as painful as it comes. And we won't have to worry about Bob making a get-away."

"No! Please!" Bob cried.

_About bloody time_, Shane thought.

Pleading, Bob stammered, "I'll tell you. At the airfield. The brown-haired guy. He rented a hangar. I've seen him around."

"What about my wife?" Steve demanded.

"I don't know. I've just seen the guy - comin' and goin'."

"That's good," Shane said. "When did you see him last?"

Bob was quick to answer. "Tonight. Had some bags . . . food bags. Hangar four."

"Okay, Bob. We'll make sure of that." Shane looked at him closely. "I sure hope, for your sake, you're telling the truth."

"I am! I am!" Bob insisted.

Shane let go of the man and stepped back. Bob slid to the floor, but Shane no longer cared about the man. He turned to Steve.

"Damn, dude." Steve's tone was one of admiration. "Didn't know you had that in you."

Shane did not respond. He put his gun back into the holster as they walked together to the bar.

"Okay," Steve growled. "Let's go get them."

As much as Shane wanted to make a beeline to the airport, he hesitated. "Wait, Steve-"

"What do you mean, 'wait'? That's Kayla and Kim out there." Steve's face began to turn red with anger.

"Just give me a few minutes," Shane said calmly. They could not just run off half-cocked like Steve usually did. "Let's just check a couple of things before we head out there. Just in case our friend back there is playing games."

Steve grimaced. "I'm not going to sit here, Donovan."

"Look, Steve, it's just a couple of calls." Shane knew Steve's impatient nature, but tried to reason with him. "It will just take a minute. Just so we don't go in blind. Let's see if we can find out what we're dealing with."

He ignored the look of anger and frustration on Steve's face, as he walked toward the phone. It would only be a few minutes.

_Just hang on Kim. If that's where you are, we'll be there soon._


	299. Chapter 299

Kim was grateful for the darkness of the locked room. After her argument with Kayla, they had sat for a while. Then Kim had then gotten up, turned off the light, and returned to her plastic chair. She suspected that Kayla was grateful for the darkness, too. Neither of them could sleep, but they also did not want to look at one another any longer.

_This is the only option_.

In her heart, Kim knew this was the only way to save Kayla's life. As much as Kayla protested, it would be better for her to live with guilt over Kim's decision than to never see her family again. And Kayla would help take care of Andrew and Jeannie. She also would tell Shane the truth about Jeannie, and, after he finished berating himself for not figuring out the truth, he would give both children a good home.

There was still the matter of his arrest, but she suspected her decision would make his much easier. Her family or Neil, Andrew's godfather, would care for the children until Shane got out. Then he would move them to England permanently.

Kim thought about Andrew and Jeannie being raised as "proper" English lord and lady. The adjustment would probably be difficult for them at first, but Kim knew they would adjust. She also knew that they would be safer in England, an ocean away from Cal.

_An ocean away from me._

Kim closed her eyes and tried to picture her children. Andrew with his soulful eyes and Jeannie with her brilliant smile. Would she ever see them again?

She then tried to picture the children as the young adults she would never know. Andrew would be almost the spitting image of his father, with the same intelligence and fearlessness as Shane. He would probably break all the records Shane had set at Eton - and break a lot of young girl's hearts along the way.

But Kim could also see the sadness and anger in that Andrew's eyes - the sadness at losing his mother and the anger at never knowing what happened to her. Would he blame Shane for not finding Kim? Would he blame Kim for leaving?

In her mind, she pictured older Jeannie as a princess. Shane would spend a lifetime regretting losing the past year of Jeannie's life and would feel obligated to make it up to her. She would look a lot like Kim; that was obvious already. But Jeannie would grow up different; she would be protected from the horrors Kim suffered. Shane would make sure of that. Jeannie would have a better, safer life.

Would he spoil her like Eve? Maybe a little, but Kim hoped Shane had learned something from their few years with Eve. Still, it was hard to predict. There would be a lot of similarities between Eve and Jeannie. Shane would probably be a non-entity in Jeannie's life until she was four; once again he would have missed a large part of his daughter's life.

_So will you._

Kim tried to shut aside the realization that her daughter would have no parents for three of her first four years of life. And would never know her mother.

_But at least she'll have a life._

Blinking back tears, Kim stood up from the plastic chair and walked to the tiny bathroom. She made no attempt to keep quiet; she knew Kayla was awake.

"Kimmie?"

Kim said nothing, turned on the faucet, and ran a little water,. She splashed it on her face, which would hide any tears. As she turned off the faucet, the light in the room flipped on. She started to turn to tell Kayla to go back to bed, but stopped short. Cal was standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Good morning, my darling," he said, smiling softly. "I hope you slept well."

It required a deep breath, but Kim forced a smile in response. "Perfectly," she lied. "What time is it?"

"6:15," Cal said. "Just a few minutes until we're off to parts unknown. Then it will just be you and me, my love."

Kim felt her stomach sink, even as she felt a wave of relief. "And Kay-"

"When we reach a secure location, I'll send an anonymous tip to the Salem PD so they know where to find her." Cal scowled. "I won't even wait a week."

Kim nodded, "Thank you, Cal."

He walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace. "Anything for you." He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to make you so happy, Kimberly." She felt him pressing against her as he whispered in her ear. "Tonight, my darling. Tonight will be special."

She swallowed hard and managed to plaster a vapid, loving expression on her face. How many times had she done that in Europe with her johns? Her job had been to make them feel like the most important and powerful men in the world. That's all Cal wanted, right?

"I can't wait," she breathed, running her fingers lightly over his forearm. "Is the plane ready?"

He smiled. "Just a few minutes. I filed the flight plan. When they do figure out where you were, the records will tell them we went to North Carolina. Of course, we won't be anywhere near there. I just have to check a few last things before we take off." He brushed her cheek with his index finger. "There's breakfast on the desk. Why don't you eat while I finish getting the plane ready? We'll be in the air before you know it."

Turning, Cal walked back through the room. He ignored Kayla, opened the door, looked back at Kim, and blew her a kiss. "Just a few more minutes, darling, and we can begin our new life together."

After he closed the door and she heard the telltale key turning in the latch, Kim walked back into the room. She took one look at Kayla and shook her head.

It did not deter her sister. "Don't do this, Kimmie. Tell him you changed your mind."

"We've been over this, Kay," Kim said. _The decision's made._ "Please . . . just remember what you promised."

Kayla looked down at the floor and nodded, but then she said, "And if Shane won't listen to me?"

He would have no choice. Kim had realized that during the night. Shane would spend the rest of his life in jail and in England. By the time he got out of jail, Kim's trail would be cold. _If he even tried_. Given what happened after their last night together, maybe he would not even try.

Kim thought about that last morning. She had woken so exhilarated and hopeful after they had made love, only to have Shane push her away. Then she had stalked away in anger. It hurt to think that would be her final memory of him and his of her.

With a sad smile, Kim broke the silence in the room. "When you see Shane . . . Tell him that I wished things hadn't ended like they did. Tell him I wish we could have made it work." She sighed. "But tell him that it's not his fault. I understand why he couldn't love me anymore, and it's for the best that he made it clear where things stood before this happened."

"Kim, what are you saying?" Kayla sounded completely bewildered.

"I'm telling you what you need to tell Shane so he can move on with his life. So tell him those things, and that I know he'll be a wonderful, caring and devoted father to our children. My only request is that he tell Andrew and Jeannie every day how much I love them." Kim nearly choked on her next words. "And tell him that I hope he finds someone who he can love, since that person obviously couldn't be me."

Kim turned away and ignored Kayla's further protests. She walked over to the table and picked up a slice of toast that Cal had brought into the room. It tasted like sand, but she forced it down and returned to her seat to wait for Cal's return.

_Just a few more minutes_, she told herself. _In a few more minutes, it will all be over._


	300. Chapter 300

Shane's car darted in and out of traffic as they sped toward the airfield. The early morning Salem traffic had already started, forcing Shane to dodge slower-moving cars to carve a quick path to Kim and Kayla.

Bob's story had checked out. It had taken about 20 minutes after the man revealed his information, but Shane had tracked down the manager of the airfield and, pretending to be police, had asked about the man who had rented Hangar Four. The manager had never met the man personally, but confirmed that the hangar was rented right before the school shooting. Then the manager added that the man had filed a flight plan for North Carolina earlier in the morning.

Shane had not mentioned that detail to Steve. Shane doubted Winters was leaving immediately; he still had to get Jeannie. And the last thing Shane wanted was Steve frantic about whether they would reach the airfield in time. As that thought crossed his mind, Shane finished passing a slow-moving truck and glanced out the corner of his eye at Steve, who was checking his pistol and making sure it was loaded for about the sixth time.

That reminded Shane of something. "Do me a favor. In the glove compartment. . . ." Shane motioned in that direction. "I've got a back-up piece in there. Can you double-check it?"

Steve nodded, as he finished with his own gun, then opened the glove compartment and pulled out the M9. "I remember this," he said with a grimace. "Your little souvenir from Egypt."

"Yep." Shane focused on the road, as he swerved to avoid a sedan turning left.

"Hey, don't kill us before we even get there."

"I have no intention of killing anyone except Winters," Shane said. Then he thought of something else and picked up the car phone.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked.

Shane did not slow the car, even as looked down to dial. "Calling Abe. I want to get the Salem PD here for back-up." Shane had tried Roman's house earlier from the bar, but Marlena had said he was checking out a lead. Abe would have to do.

Steve scowled. "I'm not waiting for them to get there. When we get to that hangar, I'm going in."

"I don't remember saying anything about waiting. That leaves too good a chance that we would lose the element of surprise." Shane paused, as he heard the phone begin to ring.

"Carter," said the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Abe, it's Shane Donovan. Steve found what we think is a good lead on Winters. A man fitting his description rented a private hangar at Broxton Airfield. Winters probably figures he'll be able to fly out of here in a private plane."

There was a pause on the other end. "But why hasn't he left already?"

"I don't know for sure," Shane answered. "I suspect he doesn't have everything he wants."

"Meaning?"

"Jeannie, Abe. His plan was probably to take Kim and Jeannie together, but he messed up. I think he's about to make a move for her." Shane felt sick just at the thought of that.

Abe seemed to understand. "I'll send some extra units to your house. Do you want me to send some uniforms to check out the airfield?"

"No," Shane said sharply. "No uniforms. If Winters is there and spots police, he might panic and hurt Kim and Kayla. Steve and I are nearly there, and we'll check it out. It's hanger number four. If Winters is there, we'll find him."

Abe grew silent before asking, "Are you sure about that? I mean you were the one who doubted Steve could handle being a cop."

Shane had to admit that was true. He had worried about Steve's mental fitness, but Steve had passed the test at the bar. Besides, Shane really had no choice. He looked at Steve, who was staring out the front of the car with a look of grim determination.

"It'll be fine, Abe." Shane did not want to say that he would not have been able to stop Steve even if he wanted to. Besides, Bob the drunk had been Steve's lead. He could have kept it to himself, but he had trusted Shane. Steve had every right to follow it through. "Just get some plainclothes back-up to Broxton. See if you can find Roman." Then another thought crossed his mind. "And send out some paramedics just in case; we don't know if he's hurt anyone." That sick feeling returned as Shane thought, _If you've done anything to hurt them, Winters, you're a dead man._

"Got it," Abe said. "I'm sending them out right now."

"Don't use the police band in case he's monitoring it," Shane added. "We're not going to wait. If we can surprise him, now's the time." He hung up the phone before Abe could protest, then looked at Steve. "Good?"

"Good," Steve said with a nod.

Neither said another word until they came to a stop at the airfield. They got out of the car and Steve handed Shane the second gun. He normally did not bother with a back-up pistol, but this seemed like one of the times to have one. Shane checked the magazine to see that it was full and then stuck the back-up in the waistband of his pants. The weight against the small of his back gave a small sense of reassurance that they were as prepared as they ever would be.

Before they approached Hangar Four, Shane walked to the hangar nearest the entrance of the airfield.

"That's the wrong one," Steve said, pointing to a large number "1" on the building.

Shane rolled his eyes. "Reconnaissance," he said, as he studied the building. "Quick reconnaissance," Shane added, to address Steve's impatience.

The building he approached appeared similar to the others that were visible. The front of each building faced the runways and had a large overhead door visible from the outside, through which the planes entered and exited. On the side of the building nearly at the same end was a human-sized door with a window next to it. Shane glanced through a window and saw that the big door opened onto a large, open area that housed a plane. On the far side, opposite the overhead door, Shane could see a small door that either led outside or into a back room. Staying outside and trying to keep out of sight from other hangars, Shane jogged around the building to the back, where he spotted another small door and a couple of windows. Peering inside, Shane saw some rooms, which were probably used for offices and storage.

"You done?" Steve gave Shane an impatient glare.

_Almost_. Shane jogged back to the car, opened the door, reached behind the seat and pulled out a small, metal box.

"What's that?" Steve's voice came from close behind. At least he had followed Shane and had not run off half-cocked to the other hangar.

Shane looked at him. "Tools."

The building with number "4" on it was about 400 yards away. As they snuck toward it, Shane explained what he had observed and told Steve his plan. Then he repeated it a few more times. He looked over at Steve. "You go through the front-end door and I'll go through the back. Got it?"

"Yeah, I've got it, dude. You've only gone over this five times." Steve had his pistol out and was turning it over and over in his palm. "And before you say it, I'll wait for your signal."

"Okay." Shane wished they had a proper communications system, but there was no way he could have delayed Steve long enough to get one. A sharp whistle would have to do the trick. Shane pulled his gun from his shoulder holster and gave Steve one last look. "Good luck."

"Yeah," Steve said. "Good luck, dude."


	301. Chapter 301

Just a quick author's note. Beginning with this chapter, a number of the upcoming scenes will be shorter than the normal posts for this story. After considering combining scenes, it just did not seem like that worked as well as sticking to the general rule of having one character's point-of-view per chapter. I also debated posting more than one scene per day, but this site only tells you the date of the last update and I was concerned that readers who are reading daily might miss a scene, not realizing that there was more than one update that day.

Despite their brevity, I hope these scenes will keep you reading.

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Keeping low with his gun ready, Steve ran toward the main entrance of Hangar Four. The large door through which an airplane would enter was closed, but Steve spotted a smaller door nearby, just around the edge of the building. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Shane disappear around the far end. In a few moments, Shane would reach the back door.

Steve tested the door. It was unlocked. He wanted to go right now, but he knew he had to wait. _Just let Shane get into position. Just wait._

Steve hated waiting.

There was a small window to his right, about five feet from the door. He slid along the wall of the hangar and stole a glance inside through the dirty window, but saw no people.

_Where are they_?

He prayed Cal was not in the back. If Shane went through that door, he might be caught by surprise. _Wait_. There was somebody inside the main area. Steve saw a figure moving around. It looked like a man, but he could not tell if it was Cal or not. The window was too grimy. Besides, it did not really matter at the moment. Steve did not think he could get a good shot off from where he was. He would have to wait until he was inside.

_What's taking so long_?

Shane should have been inside by now. Had something gone wrong? Maybe Cal _was _in the back and whoever Steve had seen was just some worker. He checked his watch. It had been more than five minutes.

Why didn't Steve think to get Jack's walkie-talkies? They had worked perfectly when he tricked the ISA. If he had them, he would know exactly where Shane was.

_Something's gone wrong. Cal must have done something to Shane._

That had to be it. And if Shane was down, Kayla would be in danger. Cal would know his hideout had been found. He might decide to take off with Kim now and would have no need to keep Kayla around.

_If he even kept her around this long_.

_Stop it_, he told himself. He could not think like that. Kayla was fine; he would know if she had been hurt. He had to know.

Steve checked his watch again. Seven minutes. Dammit. He looked again through the window. The figure inside had stopped moving and, it appeared to Steve, was facing a door at the far side of the hangar.

_Does he hear something_?

Steve's breath caught in his chest as the figure started to move. The man was definitely heading to the back.

_Come on, Donovan. What the hell is going on_?


	302. Chapter 302

Shane reached the back of the hangar, but hesitated as he got close. As with the hangar he had reconnoitered, the back side of this hangar had a door and a couple windows. The first windows he passed were covered with some type of shades, so Shane crept low along the wall, until he reached the window closest to the door. Once he was under the window, he raised his head just enough to glance inside.

He saw nobody in the room, which appeared to be a reception area, perhaps where people waited before a flight. But his main focus was the exterior door. Craning his head against the window, he spotted some wires running along the inside of the door.

_It's rigged._

Whether it had an alarm or a booby trap, Shane had no way of knowing. But what he could tell was that there was no way for him to reach the wires from the outside. The door was out.

Shane turned his attention to the window. It was wired as well, but even though he also could not tell if it was connected to an alarm or a device, using a few tricks up his sleeve, he thought he could reach the wire and disconnect it.

He opened the metal box he had brought from the car and pulled out his glass cutter and a suction cup. He attached the cup to the window and then turned the glass cutter in a circle. The circle of glass came away cleanly and silently about two inches from the window sill.

Taking a thin set of shears, Shane reached his hand through the hole in the window and carefully maneuvered the shears into place. If he jostled the wire, he might set off an alarm - or worse. He wiped some sweat from his brow as he inched one edge of the shears between the window and the wire.

_Here goes nothing._

Holding his breath, Shane pulled the shears closed. He heard the quiet snip as the wire sliced cleanly and nothing else. No alarm. Shane let out the breath he was holding, dropped the shears, and felt around for the window latch. Finding it, he unlatched the window, then shoved the window up and open.

He grinned slightly. _I might not be in the ISA any longer, but I still know a few things they taught me._

After he placed the box of tools inside, climbing through the open window was easy. In a moment, Shane found himself in the reception area. He stepped down onto a sofa and then found himself in an open area in front of a counter.

Then he glanced at the door and felt the air rush out of his lungs. The wires were connected to a lump of C-4 explosive. So was the wire Shane had cut. If he had gone through the door or made a wrong move cutting the wire, the entire wall would have exploded. Shane would have been a dead man.

_You dodged a bullet on that one_, he told himself.

Thankful that his luck had held, he scanned the room he had now entered. To his left, was a closed door. On the right, was a hallway with a couple of doors on its side and another door at the end.

The door on the left was probably designed as the owner's office. Was that were Kim and Kayla were? Pulling his gun from the shoulder holster, Shane came around the counter and checked that door first. The doorknob turned easily, and Shane aimed inside as it opened. There was nobody in the room. All Shane saw was a mattress, some blankets, some clothes - obviously belonging to a man - a radio with a police band, and little else.

_So that's where Cal's staying. But where are Kim and Kayla_?

Keeping the gun ready, Shane inched along the wall toward the hallway. He had no idea if Cal was through one of the doors on the side or through the door at the end of the hall, which he assumed led to the main hangar. One of the doors on the side had glass in it and Shane peeked through it. Nobody was inside what looked like a kitchenette.

Turning to the other door, Shane tried the knob. It was locked.

Someone on the other side called out; a voice he recognized. "Cal, is that you? You know you won't get away with this."

"Kayla," he said, trying to keep his voice low, but loud enough so she could hear. Kayla was alive, thank god. Despite their fear that Cal might have eliminated her, she was alive.

She must have moved closer to the door, because she answered in little more than a whisper. "Shane, is that you?"

"Yes. Is Kim with you?" _Please_, he prayed silently. _Please let her be safe_.


	303. Chapter 303

Kim stared at the wall, unmoving. One part of her life was over; a new part would now begin. She closed her eyes and said the same silent prayer that she had recited through the night.

_Please just keep them safe. Please let them be happy._

A noise jarred her out of her thoughts and she looked up.

Over by the door, Kayla shouted. "Cal, is that you? You know you won't get away with this."

But it was not Cal.

Kim recognized Shane's voice immediately. _Thank God. _Kayla and Shane whispered something that Kim could not hear, despite racing toward the door. Then she was able to make out his words.

"Is Kim with you?"

Kim felt tears of joy and relief fill her eyes. She doubted she had ever been so happy to hear Shane's voice before.

"I'm right here," she said.

Next to her, Kayla had fallen back against the wall and was now looking at the ceiling, probably saying a silent prayer.

"We're going to get out of here," Kim said. "We're going to get out of here."

"Shhhh," Kayla hissed, holding a finger to her lips.

Suddenly, Kim remembered something that Cal had said the first day. The noise from the room could be heard in other parts of the building. _Did Cal hear them_? _Had he heard them talking to Shane_?

And Cal said he would be coming back soon. How soon was "soon"? Kim rushed to the door.

She heard a sound just beyond the door. It sounded like someone rustling through something.

"Shane?" she whispered. _Was he still there_?

"I'm here." His voice was so reassuring. "I'm going to pick the lock. I just had to get a lockpick."

"Hurry, Shane," Kim said. "Cal said he'd be back in a minute."

She heard the sound of the lockpick enter the lock. Her heart pounded. In a moment, the door would open.

"Damn!" Shane hissed.

Kim pressed her head against the door. "What?"

"The pick snapped. . . . I've got anoth-" Shane stopped abruptly. "I think someone's coming."

It had to be Cal. Kim remembered again him saying he could hear people talking in the locked room. _Oh no_! If Cal came through the door with his gun out, Shane would be caught with nowhere to go.

She exchanged looks with Kayla, who had an equally stricken expression on her face. Through the door, they heard the rustling sound again.

"I'll be back," Shane whispered.

_No, don't leave _us, she cried silently. Out loud, she whispered, "Don't go."

"He's probably just ducking behind a wall or something," Kayla whispered. They both had their ears pressed against the door, waiting anxiously for whatever would happen next.


	304. Chapter 304

Steve watched the figure at the far end of the hangar approach the back door. Something metallic flashed in the harsh lights. The window was too grimy for Steve to see clearly, but he was absolutely positive it was a gun.

_He hears Shane_.

That had to be it. If the man went through that door, he might catch Shane in an ambush.

_I can't wait._

Kayla and Kim must be back there too. That had to be why Shane stopped. He must be trying to free them to keep the out of danger.

_And if Cal goes back there, Kayla might be in the line of fire._

Angrily, Steve jerked away from the window. Kayla, Shane, and Kim could be trapped. If Cal went back there-

_Stop thinking like that._

_I've got to do something._

He could not wait any more. Steve had to take action. At least, he could provide a distraction and pull the man back into the front of the hangar.

Steve ran to the door and took a deep breath. With his gun in his right hand, he turned the doorknob with his left, pushed the door open, and raced into the hangar.

"You!" he shouted. "Free-"

His words cut off as he was staggered by something hard slamming into hit his chest. Like a sledgehammer. Like a stinging sledgehammer. The area around it began to twitch. He felt liquid - a hot stinging liquid - run under his skin like a burning fire. His heart began pounding so fast that he thought it would burst.

Steve tried to step, but his legs wouldn't move. His arms shuddered involuntarily. The gun dropped to the ground. His heart kept racing.

The thought _What's happening_? popped into his head, but he had no answer. His body began to convulse, shaking and twitching.

_I'm going to die_. _I'm going to die and never see Kayla again._

At that thought, Steve screamed in agony.


	305. Chapter 305

Shane crouched between the wall and the reception area counter just at the edge of the hallway. When he heard footsteps approaching the door, he had grabbed his toolkit and raced to the other end of the corridor. Now he waited, his gun aimed at the door, ready for Cal Winters to walk through.

_It has to be him. He has to be the only one here._

Shane told himself that, but then remembered that Cal had help escaping Alaska. So maybe it would not be Cal. Shane had to be careful then. If it was a second man involved in the kidnapping, a gunshot might alert the other.

_There's only Cal_. Shane was sure of it, even as he kicked himself for not asking Kim and Kayla.

On the far end of the hall, Shane heard a noise. The doorknob was turning.

Then it stopped.

An instant later, loud screams echoed through the entire building.

Shane entire body froze. _Damn it_, he silently shouted. Steve must have jumped the gun. What the bloody hell had he done?

From inside the room down the hall, Shane heard Kayla cry out. "Steve!" She must have recognized the voice too.

Shane raced forward toward the hangar door, then stopped. Kim and Kayla were still locked in that room. Shane had to make a split-second decision, even as Steve's screams continued to echo through the building.

_He'd want Kim and Kayla safe._ Shane knew Steve well enough to know that he would do anything to make sure Kayla was safe. "Bloody hell," Shane muttered, hating that he was stuck making this choice. But Kim and Kayla had to be the priority. Silently, Shane thought, _Forgive me, Steve_.

Setting his gun on the floor, Shane pulled his lockpick out of his pocket and inserted it into the lock. But even as he began to work, he heard Kayla's voice right outside the door. She sounded inconsolable.

"Steve!" she shrieked. "Shane, please help him!"

"I'm going to get you out of here first." Shane tried to focus on the lock and get the pins to move, but he could not shut out Steve's screams. They continued to reverberate through the hangar.

Kayla's cries continued also. "Leave us," she yelled, and Shane could envision her tears. "Help him, Shane. He's hurt . . . . He could be dying." She sounded like she was in so much pain. "Please help him. You didn't save him just to let him die now. I can't lose him now. Not again."

Shane hesitated, torn between doing what Steve would want and doing what Kayla asked. She was right. He had seen Kayla's suffering.

After everything that had happened, Shane could not let Steve die now. Then an idea flashed in Shane's head. "Kim?" he asked. "Do you remember what I showed you about opening a lock?"

"Yes," Kim said.

"Then do it and get out the window." Shane slid the lockpick under the door. Then he remembered the explosives. "Use the window. The door's rigged. Don't touch it."

Turning, Shane picked up his gun again and moved toward the hangar door. He realized that Steve's screams had stopped. Shane just prayed the silence did not mean what he feared it meant.


	306. Chapter 306

"Hurry," Kayla urged, as the noise from outside the locked room stopped. With it, she thought her heart stopped as well.

The screams had been Steve's. And now they had stopped.

_Please let him be okay_, she prayed silently. _I can't lose him again._

She knew she could never survive losing Steve again. Losing him the first time had nearly been the end of her. There was no way she could go through it again.

Kayla closed her eyes. Whatever was happening, she had to stay calm. She had to keep her wits about her. Steve was alive, she told herself. If he was hurt, he would need her to keep her wits about her.

It seemed like an eternity since the screams had stopped.

_Why haven't we heard Shane_? she wondered. He must have a gun. Wasn't he a great shot? By now he should have found Cal.

"What's taking so long?" Kayla hissed at Kim.

"I'm trying," Kim snapped back. "Damn." Something fell from her hands. _The lockpick_. Kim reached down, picked it up, and studied it.

"What's wrong?" Kayla asked. Then she saw how Kim's hands were shaking and understood. Kayla took Kim's hands in hers. "Take a deep breath, Kimmie. We need to get out of here, so you need to focus and get this door open." The very back of her mind registered the absurdity that she was urging Kim to stay calm, when Kayla was going crazy inside. She wanted to rip the lockpick from Kim's hands. Sheer will would force the lock open. But Kayla knew she was wrong; Kim was their best hope. "Kim, it's okay. Just calm down and do what Shane taught you."

Kim gave a sharp nod, and she refocused on the lock . Her hands were no longer shaking visibly, but Kayla suspected that Kim's insides were in as much turmoil as Kayla's were. Trying to force the worst possible thoughts from her mind, Kayla tried to force herself to think positively. _There were no shots_. That was good, right?

_But what caused him to scream like that_? Kayla had never heard Steve in so much pain. Even in his nightmares from his captivity, he never sounded so much in pain.

_God, please let him be okay. _The fear and worry were drowning out her hope.

Kayla started to tell Kim to hurry, but remained quiet. Kim was concentrating hard on the lock, but nothing seemed to be happening. Kayla wanted to grab the lockpick again, but she contained herself and crossed her arms, almost as if she did not trust herself to hold still.

_Please, Kim_. _Please. I need to know if Steve's all right. If Steve's alive._

She stepped away from the door, needing to move. Her body was shaking. The only sound she heard was the soft scraping of metal against metal as Kim worked on the lock.

_Where's Shane_? Kayla asked herself again. _Why don't we hear anything_?

Anxiously, Kayla turned back to Kim. Unable to stop herself, she asked, "What's taking so long?"


	307. Chapter 307

Steve could not move. His entire body was still on fire and his muscles refused to move. He also no longer had the strength to scream.

_Kayla_! he shouted silently. _Where was she_? Steve needed to know she was okay before he died.

From nearby, Steve heard someone laugh. The laughter grew closer until it was coming from just a few feet away, but, curled on his side, Steve could not lift his head to see who was laughing.

The laughter stopped. "Nice try," came the cold voice that Steve recognized.

It was a struggle to respond, because his jaw muscles did not want to work, but through his grit teeth, Steve managed to grind out, "Winters. . . ."

"Good to see that you didn't forget me, Johnson," Cal said.

A footstep next to Steve's head told him Cal was moving. An instant later, one, then two shoes came into Steve's view. From the way he was lying on his side, Steve managed to look out of the corner of his eye and see most of Cal looming over him. He could especially see the silver metal of Cal's gun, which was only a couple of feet from Steve's head.

Cal tilted his head sightly to the side as if he was studying Steve. "Guess I know the taser works."

A taser. Now Steve understood. That explained it. The jolt, followed by the liquid fire that spread through his body, and, now, his inability to get his muscles to respond to command.

_But I'm alive_, Steve thought. The taser did not kill him. The gun might be a different story.

"Who's with you?" Cal asked.

"No one," Steve lied. He jerked sharply, as Cal kicked him in the ribs. "I swear . . . I'm here alone."

Steve felt his muscles beginning to unlock. Shane had to be in the building by now. Was he in the hangar yet? If he was, all he would need is one shot. _Come on, Donovan. If you see me, take the shot._

"Tell me who else is here?" Cal growled.

Slowly, Steve rolled to his stomach. Cal did not seem to care, even as Steve, using nearly all his strength, climbed to his hands and knees.

"Tell me!"

Steve shook his head a little. "I told you, Winters. It's just me."

"I don't think so. But it's okay. I have my ways and I know who's with you." Winters trained the gun on Steve's head and called out into the room. "I know you're here, Donovan. You'd better come out now or I'll blow his head off."


	308. Chapter 308

As quietly as he could, Shane cracked the door open and tried to size up what was happening in the hangar.

The screams had stopped, but Shane could not tell what that meant. Through the crack in the door, he tried to see what was happening on the far side of the hangar. The plane in the middle of the building blocked most of his view. Shane tried to peer under the plane and managed to see two figures. One was nothing more than a pair of legs; his upper body was not visible. The other was on his side. That one was Steve.

Slipping through the door, Shane began to circle around the room on the opposite side of the main entrance. With the plane between him and the others, he thought he might get close enough to get a shot off. As he moved silently through the room, he stayed low, keeping his eyes on the pair of legs he could see through the gap under the plane. As he moved, he saw Steve rise to his hands and knees.

"I know you're here, Donovan." Cal's voice echoed through the room. "You'd better come out now or I'll blow his head off." Before Shane could even think about his response, he saw the legs crouch and Cal's torso came into view. So did his gun, which was only a few inches from Steve's head.

_He'll kill him_, Shane said to himself. After Mike, Shane had no doubts about what Cal was capable of doing. Shane reached the edge of the plane, and snuck a glance around in Cal's direction.

"Did you hear me, Donovan?" Cal still had the gun pointed at Steve, but he was looking around the hangar. "You don't want his blood on your hands, do you? He's stuck - can't do a thing. 50,000 volts from a taser will do that." Cal laughed. "So come on out. Hide and seek's over. Or I will kill him."

Shane shook his head in frustration. _Why couldn't you have waited, Steve_? Shane needed a new plan now. While he had a possible shot at Cal, there was no way a shot - even one perfectly placed - could ensure that Cal would not kill Steve.

An idea came into Shane's head, but it seemed terribly weak. But he had no real choice, did he? With a sigh, Shane raised his arms and stepped around the plane.

"I'm here, Cal," Shane announced, moving forward. "So now that we're face-to-face, how about we discuss this and then you agree to let everyone go?"

"Uh huh," Cal barked, spinning away from Steve and facing Shane. They were now about 40 feet away. "Drop the gun."

"Okay, Cal." Shane stopped momentarily. "I'm putting the gun down." He let it drop to the floor and kicked it off to the side.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Steve yelled, apparently having found his voice. "He'll kill us both."

Shane ignored Steve's protest, took another step forward, and focused on Cal instead. "No gun, Cal. I'm completely unarmed." Shane continued to close the gap between them. "Now, let's be reasonable men. The Salem PD knows you're here and they're on their way. Nobody's going to let your plane take off. So that leaves you with two options. Either you kill us all, and by 'all,' I mean Kimberly too. Or you surrender now and go _back_ to prison." Shane made a point to emphasize the word "back."

"You forget my other option," Cal snarled. "I can go down fighting, starting with taking out both of you."

"That's not you, Cal." Shane was now only about 15 feet away. Logic and reasoning were not going to get through to him, but Shane had to keep talking. Hopefully, Steve would catch on. "Think _back_, Cal. _Back_ to that time you were in the POW camp. _Back _then, you fought tooth-and-nail to survive. You wouldn't toss that away now. After everything you went through _back_ there."

As he talked and moved closer, Shane let his arms lower gradually.

"Come on, Cal. Think of the man you were _back _then." _Come on, Stev_e. _Come on._

Cal waved the gun. "No closer," he shouted. "And don't talk about that. You don't know anything about what went on there."

"I do," Steve said from where he was still on his hands and knees. Steve was about 5 feet to Cal's left. Shane was facing Cal, but standing to his right. He and Steve were still about 15 feet apart. Their eyes met briefly, before Steve continued. "They took me and locked me up and nearly killed me. So I know exactly what you went through and I know how hard it was to come _back_." As Steve finished he looked at Shane with a narrowed eye.

"That's absolutely right," Shane said. He spoke evenly, even as he stared down the barrel of Cal's gun. "Listen to Steve. And think about Kim. You don't want to hurt Kim, do you?"

Cal scowled. "Don't talk about Kim. You don't love her." His finger began to tighten on the trigger. "Not like I do."


	309. Chapter 309

"Wait!" Steve shouted, causing Cal to spin around. Steve stared into the barrel of the pistol as Cal's finger massaged the trigger. "Look," Steve said. "I mean, look, dude . . . you can't kill Donovan, not if you love Kim."

Cal's eyes narrowed. "You're wrong. If he's just out of the way, there's nothing to keep Kim and me apart."

"Come on, dude. Face it. Kim's not going to ever go with you if you kill him." With Cal turned, only Steve could see Shane, who started to rush Cal.

Something must have alerted Cal, because he turned sharply. "Hold it!" Shane froze as Cal trained the gun at him. "No closer."

Steve's muscles seemed to unlock all at once. He leaped to his feet and started toward Cal, but the other man was faster. The gun spun back at Steve, and Cal barked, "Don't move. Either of you." He waved the gun back and forth between Steve and Shane. "I know a trick when I see one."

"Cal, this is no trick," Shane said in a voice that was remarkably calm for someone who was staring down the barrel of a gun. He had dropped his hands, so they were no longer up in the air. "I'm just trying to reason with you." His eyes fixed on Steve and Shane almost imperceptibly nodded his head.

"Reason?" Steve snapped. "Get serious, Donovan. This dude doesn't give a damn about reason. He's insane."

"No, I'm not," Cal shouted, aiming the gun at Steve. Then he spun around and pointed at Shane. With his gun pointed, he motioned in Steve's direction. "Get over there. Next to him." As Shane complied, Cal continued to bark orders. "Not too close."

Shane came to a stop about three feet to Steve's right, as Cal went back to moving the gun back-and-forth between them. "Come on, Cal," Shane said.

"Stop trying to talk to him, you idiot," Steve said, continuing to talk even as Cal stopped waiving the gun around and it came to a stop aimed at Steve. "Are you going to shoot me, dude?" Steve asked. "You really think that'll help? Hell, you shoot me and you might as well pack your bags for Death Row."

Out the corner of his eye, Steve saw that Shane had slipped his right hand behind his back.

_Come on, Donovan_, Steve thought. Cal's finger seemed to be tightening around the trigger once more, but Steve ignored it. He had to keep Cal's attention.

"You heard me, Cal. Death Row. Where they stick that needle in your vein. That's-"

Cal cut him off with a growl. "I don't think so." He pulled the trigger.

Steve had no chance to react. Something slammed harm into him and he stumbled, losing sight of Cal. Out the corner of his eye, as Steve fell, he saw Shane's right arm swinging around and something flashed in the light.

In the same instant, the room erupted with the sound of gunfire.


	310. Chapter 310

For some reason, this lock was harder than the ones Shane had trained her on. Every time Kim slid the pick inside, it seemed to slip when it touched the pins. Why didn't Shane give her something to use as a tension wrench? Even a simple screwdriver would have made this a lot easier.

She glanced around their prison, but saw nothing of use.

"Why is it taking so long?" Kayla asked. Kim could not tell if her sister meant opening the lock or hearing more from Shane. They had heard Steve's screams.

"I know you're here, Donovan." She heard Cal yell, his voice coming through the vents. "You'd better come out now or I'll blow his head off."

"No!" Kayla cried. "Oh God, he has Steve."

"I'm sure Steve's okay," Kim lied. She was concentrating so hard on getting the pick into the right position, her jaw was beginning to ache.

_Come on, come on. Open you damn lock._

There. The pick was all the way in, just like Shane had taught her when working only with the pick. Now she had to lift and pull, fast, so all the pins went up. She jerked her hand back as she tried the door handle.

Nothing.

_That's okay_, she said to herself. Even Shane sometimes had to do this a few times before it worked. _Just stay calm_. _Don't worry about Shane. He's just fine. He can take care of himself._ Kim kept repeating that, almost as a mantra, but her stomach felt hollow and it felt like someone had poured ice over her spine. It was that same feeling of dread she had experienced before. _He's okay_, she said.

The pick was all the way through and she turned it so it was in position. Lift and pull. She yanked on the pick.

Click.

"Got it," she said, turning the handle and pulling the door open. Kayla did not move. "Come on, Kay. We've got to get out of here."

"Not without Steve," Kayla said slowly, shaking her head.

Kim reached out for Kayla's hand. "Shane said to climb out the window. He's with Steve; he won't let anything happen to Steve."

Kayla still did not move. "But . . . Steve . . . he's hurt."

"We have to go, Kay. They want us to get out of here. They want us to be safe." She grabbed Kayla's forearm and began pulling her into the office. Kayla tried to pull away, but Kim would not let her. "Please, Kayla, please." Kim let go and grasped both of Kayla's shoulders, so they were face-to-face. "Steve wants you safe. Even if he's hurt, he wouldn't want anything to happen to you. You've got to get out of here with me." Kim did not want to give voice to her biggest fear - that Steve was already dead. "Shane will get him out," she said, softly, forcing a smile to her face. "He did it before. He'll do it now."

Then, from the room next door, the gunshots rang out, and all thought of running away disappeared.


	311. Chapter 311

_Am I dead_?

Where he had landed on the floor, Steve lay still and debated that question.

Something had slammed into Steve's side. Wasn't it a bullet? The noise of the shots and being hit had all happened at the same time. _It had to be a bullet_. Steve ran his hands along the ground and waited in the silence for the pain to start.

_Why don't I feel any pain_?

Steve could not figure that out. If he had been shot, he should be hurting by now.

_But I'm not hurting._

And where was the blood? Steve saw no blood and did not feel any wetness on his side. If Steve had been shot, there would be blood.

_So maybe I wasn't shot_.

He frowned and tried to work that through in his mind. Something hit him and he had seen Shane swing a gun as he fell. _Wait_. Maybe that something was not a bullet, but a someone. Steve tried to think. Had Shane hit him? Maybe he had.

Whatever happened, Steve was not hurting. If he had been shot, he would be hurting. Steve was not hurting. Ergo, he had not been shot.

From where he was still lying on the floor, Steve looked in the direction of where Cal had been standing. He was there, but on the ground. Slowly, Steve pulled himself from the floor and took a few unsteady steps toward the crumpled form.

Coming closer, Steve got a look at Cal. His eyes were open, but they stared lifelessly into the air.

_You're never going to hurt my family again_, Steve thought. The sheer relief he felt was exhilarating, even as he felt a twinge of guilt at being happy about another man's death. _It's over. Kayla's safe. Kim's safe. Everyone's safe._

Steve looked up and said a silent prayer. Then he looked back down at Cal and took note for the first time of the small, round hole planted neatly between the man's eyes.

"You got him, dude," Steve said out loud to Shane. "Great shot."

"Didn't have . . . bloody choice . . . not with you . . . baiting him."

Steve's blood seemed to freeze the instant he heard Shane's halting words. Steve swung around, knowing something was terribly wrong even before he completed the turn.

Shane was leaning heavily against the wall, his head down, and his arms hanging low. He still held the gun, now clutched in both hands, only inches above the floor. As Steve watched, the front of Shane's tan dress shirt began to turn crimson.

_No_! Steve screamed silently_._

The gun fell from Shane's hands and the metal clanked as it hit the concrete floor. He looked up, the realization of what had happened just beginning to dawn on him. Their eyes met momentarily, and Steve saw shock and fear flash across Shane's face.

Then Shane's legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground.


	312. Chapter 312

"No," Kim breathed as she and Kayla raced through the door into the hangar. Her entire body had turned to ice, and she knew what she was going to find even before they reached the end of the plane.

At the far end of the hangar, Steve was crouched next to a figure on the ground. Steve was blocking Kim's view, but she knew it was Shane. And in her heart, she knew it was bad.

Even as Kayla ran forward, Kim's fear made her hesitate. _What if he dies_? Kim could not watch Shane die.

Then another voice told her she had to be strong. _Shane needs you._ _Don't give up now._ That voice won, and Kim forced herself to go forward.

Kayla had reached Shane first and had immediately begun checking Shane's wound. As Kim got closer, she saw the blood that had turned his shirt dark red and was pooling next to his body. But he was alive. Kim could see Shane gasping for air. With each labored breath, he spit out some blood.

"Come on, Shane," Kayla begged. "Don't do this. You've got to hang on." Kim watched, frozen, as Kayla tore at Shane's bloody shirt. "Give me something to use to stop the bleeding," Kayla yelled.

_He can't die_, Kim thought, Kayla's words barely registering. Kim shivered from the cold that wracked her body, as she silently begged. _Don't let him die._

"Kim?" Steve's voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up at him, not sure what he wanted. "Your jacket."

"My jacket?" she asked, confused.

Steve looked at her. "You're in shock, Kim, but listen to me. Give me your jacket - for a bandage."

It still took a moment for that to register, but then Kim remembered that she was still wearing her suit jacket from work so many days earlier. She pulled it off and handed it to Steve, who spun around and took it to Kayla.

Kim felt helpless as she watched. Shane was so pale and he was still struggling to breathe. _And there's nothing I can do_, Kim thought. She looked at Kayla, who had rolled Kim's jacket into a ball and was pressing it hard against Shane's chest. For a moment, Kim felt jealous of her sister; at least Kayla could try to do something.

"Kay. . . ." Kim did not want to interrupt, but she needed to know.

Kayla did not respond. She was focused on Shane. "Shane, please," Kayla begged once more. "Just hang on."

Kim closed her eyes as she heard the tremor in Kayla's voice. After forcing herself to breathe, she opened her eyes, but she had to look away. Her heart could not bear to see Shane in so much pain. _How did this happen_? she asked herself, still barely comprehending.

She looked around the room and, for the first time, she saw Cal's body on the ground. _Damn you_, she cursed silently. _Damn you to hell, Cal Winters_. All of this was his fault but, inwardly, she cursed herself for letting Cal Winters into their lives. _It's my fault too._

She felt Steve put an arm around her. "It's going to be okay," he said. "Shane's tough. He's going to pull through. You've got to believe that."

But even as said that, another chill swept through her. _He doesn't know_, said her doubting voice. And what Kim needed was an answer.

"Kay?"

"I don't know," Kayla answered sharply. "Did someone call for help?" She looked up at Steve. "Steve! Call an ambulance. Please."

Kim turned to Steve, who seemed as frozen in place as she was. But then Kayla's question seemed to register. "Sure. . . . There's a phone in the car. . . ." He did not finish the sentence, as he let go of Kim and took off running out the door.

Standing there, alone, Kim looked back at Shane. His eyes were open, but he was staring vacantly into space. Kayla was still urging Shane to hang on. Unable to stand still any longer, Kim stepped toward Kayla and Shane, and crouched down next to him. She looked across him at Kayla, who glanced up momentarily. Kim could see the doubt and fear in her sister's eyes.

_No_, Kim prayed silently. She looked down at Shane and took his hand in hers. It felt almost as cold as the chills that kept sweeping through her body. She hoped to see some recognition in Shane's eyes, but they looked past her, unseeing.

"Hold on, my love," Kim whispered, doing the only thing she could do at this point - pray. "Just hold on."


	313. Chapter 313

For a moment, as Kayla had raced toward him from the back room, Steve had felt his heart leap. She was safe. He thanked God that she was safe. As Kayla had dropped to her knees beside him, their eyes had met - just for a split second - and Steve could see his own relief reflected back at him.

Then Kayla turned her attention to Shane, and Steve came back to Earth and the reality of what had happened.

He had no idea how to help, but when Kayla asked for something to stop the bleeding, Steve had looked up and seen Kim's suit jacket. Once he had given that to Kayla, he again had felt useless. Kayla was the professional; Steve would just be in the way, he figured. Finally, he had done the only other thing he could think of - he had walked over to Kim to try to give her some comfort.

Now, as he held Kim close, Steve watched Kayla beg Shane to hang on and heard the concern in her voice. Unbidden, the old resentment began to rise in Steve, but, almost as quickly, he squelched it. Shane had just saved his life and might be bleeding to death. It could just as easily be Steve lying there, dying.

"Steve!" He realized Kayla was calling to him. "Call an ambulance. Please."

Steve finally jerked into motion. He remembered the phone in Shane's car. "Sure," he said. "There's a phone in the car. . . ." Without finishing, he let go of Kim and ran toward the main entrance door. He pulled it open and ran toward where they had left Shane's car, near the entrance to the airfield. But Steve had only taken a few steps outside when he spotted several cars speeding toward the hangar. Steve ran forward as the lead car pulled to a stop and Roman and Abe jumped out.

"We have two down." Steve pointed back toward the hangar. "Cal's dead and Shane's in really bad shape. I mean really bad."

Roman and Abe exchanged looks. Abe spoke first. "The ambulance is already on its way. I'll tell them to hurry."

Both men turned back to the car. As Abe grabbed the radio to call for the paramedics, Roman pulled out a first aid kit and began sprinting towards the hangar. Steve chased after Roman.

Once back inside, he saw that Kim had crouched down next to Shane. Roman rushed toward them, crouched down, and asked Kayla what he could do. Kayla gave him a few suggestions and he started pulling supplies out of the kit. "Come on, buddy," Roman said to Shane.

To Steve's eyes, Shane seemed to have grown more still. His skin had gone grey and, while his eyes were open, Steve doubted Shane was really seeing anything. He also was not gasping for air like before. Steve did not know if that was a good sign or not. He suspected it was not.

The paramedics and Abe rushed in a moment later. Pushing Kim and Roman aside, the paramedics began working with Kayla. They placed a mask over Shane's face to help him breathe and were doing something with a long needle that forced Steve to look away.

Steve watched helpless, not knowing what to do. He glanced at Kim, who was standing again and looked equally lost. "Come here," he said, putting an arm around her.

"He can't die," Kim breathed, clutching him tightly. She was shivering. "He just can't die."

"He won't," Steve said, wondering if he sounded remotely assuring. "Shane's a tough dude." He then remembered he had said that before and decided against saying anything more. Kim might detect his doubt, so he just held her, silently.

The paramedics and Kayla continued to work. The paramedics began hooking up some IV bags as they got Shane ready to transport. Kayla continued to press Kim's now-red jacket against Shane's chest. Kayla's own clothes were dark and wet.

"I'll ride with the ambulance," she said, as the paramedics slid Shane onto a gurney, lifted it, and began to roll him out.

Kimberly nodded. "Kay . . . He's going to be all right, isn't he?"

Kayla did not answer immediately. She gave them both a mournful look, before finally responding. "I don't know, Kim. I just don't know."


	314. Chapter 314

Everything was fuzzy. He could not see and he could barely hear. There were voices, but Shane could not identify them. Every once in a while, he thought he heard a woman. Kayla perhaps. But where was Kim?

What was happening to him? He had no idea, no sense of time or place. His vision was of a grey haze with blurry figures moving about. There was some distant sensations. Pain, maybe. Cold, definitely. And he was moving. Or being moved. He could tell that from the blurry figures.

Was Kim okay? He had a dim sense that she was supposed to be there, but wouldn't she be with him if she was?

In his head, he saw her. Them. Walking through St. James Park on a warm spring day.

The image disappeared and a new one appeared. He was watching her through a lens, no through a telescope. She was crying and he wanted to wipe away her tears.

It changed again. Halloween, and she was Cinderella in a golden dress.

And again. A cabin in the middle of nowhere. He was holding their son, the son they had just brought into the world.

Then he was making love to her. For the first time at Donovan Manor. In front of the fireplace. In their bedroom in Salem.

Kim. He tried to call out for her. Where was she? He needed her.

He needed Kim. More than anything, he needed her.

He realized that the blurs had stopped moving. He had stopped too. But he still had a sense of motion, like they were moving together.

A sound broke through. A siren. An ambulance siren.

Then he remembered. Cal. Being shot. Kayla had been there; he remembered hearing her calling to him. But he could not remember Kim. Had she been there? Was she even alive? He needed to talk to Kim, needed to see her. He tried to say that, but the blurs didn't hear him.

Now he was moving again, or they were moving him. He could see white lights flashing overhead and faces, still blurred, staring into his. There was a lot of noise, but he could not make out the words. Hands pushed him and he was being lifted onto something hard, a bright light blinded him. He tried to jerk his head away, but someone held him still.

"Hold still, Shane." Words finally broke through the haze. The voice. A woman's voice.

"Kim?" He was not sure if he actually formed the word.

The voice did not answer his question, but someone touched his face. It was a softer touch than the others around him, but her voice had an urgency. "You've got to hold on. Fight this."

Fight what? He was no longer aware of the pain. He no longer felt cold. All was calm.

Peaceful.

Slowly, he realized what was happening. He was letting go.

He looked up and saw the woman, now clearly in focus. Kayla. Shane fixed on her, giving her a desperate glance, begging her to listen to him - begging for a chance to say something before he died.


	315. Chapter 315

Kayla had refused to be turned away when they rolled Shane into the emergency room at University Hospital. She knew she was useless and probably in the way, but Carly and Marcus worked around her. Carly was asking for BP readings. Marcus called for a clamp. They were both working frantically.

"Come on, Shane," Kayla begged, as she leaned over his head. "Don't give up."

She watched his eyes. He seemed dimly aware of the people around him, but nothing seemed to be registering. The sounds of the emergency room and the bright lights were probably confusing him, a lot of noise and sights he could not process through the pain. Then he tried to jerk away, but she grabbed his head and held him. "Hold still, Shane." Kayla hated this; she hated seeing him in so much pain. She tried to calm him by touching his cheek and brushing some of his hair back from his face. "You've got to hold on. Fight this," she said.

Something changed in his expression. Through the mask, she saw his lips move as if he was trying to say something. And his eyes seemed to lock on hers. They were bright, almost feverish.

"We've got to intubate," she heard Marcus call out. One of the nurses reached over and began pulling away the oxygen mask.

"Kay. . . please. . . ." The words came so quietly that she barely heard them over the din of the room. Each word was accentuated with flecks of blood.

She pulled the mask from the other nurse and put it back over Shane's face. Then, Kayla looked up at Marcus and Carly. "He's trying to say something."

"We've got to tube him," Carly said. "It's his only chance." Kayla could hear the undercurrent in Carly's voice It was something nurses learned to pick up from a doctor's tone. She was saying it was Shane's only chance, but not a good one.

"One minute?" Kayla asked. "Just let him. . . ." She didn't have to say it. Marcus and Carly both knew. Once they inserted the breathing tube, Shane would have no further chance to say anything. Marcus nodded.

"Just a few words, Kayla."

She looked back at Shane, who was focused on her with the same fevered, intense gaze. "I'm going to pull away the mask so you can talk," she said. "But just for a moment. Then I'm putting it back on to help you breathe. And then Marcus and Carly need to put in a breathing tube. Do you understand?" He gave something approximating a nod, so she pulled the mask away and leaned close so she could hear him.

"Kim . . ." The word came out almost imperceptibly. "Tell Kim . . . love her. Always."

His last words came out so faint that she put the mask back on. "I don't have to tell her, Shane," she told him, forcing a fake smile to her face. "You'll get the chance to tell her yourself."

He shook his head weakly, and his lips moved again, so she pulled the mask away again. His voice came back a little more forcefully. "Cameo . . . know where. . . ."

She remembered. She had seen Shane look at the cameo and put it inside the top drawer of his desk the day of Jeannie's birthday party. "Yes, I know."

"Give it. . ." He coughed, spitting up more blood, and his words came weakly again. "Kim . . . sign . . . how . . . love her. . . ."

She clamped the mask down again. "I'll give it to her, Shane, I promise." She could feel tears running down her cheeks. "Just hold on, Shane."

"We need that tube, Kayla," Marcus said.

Kayla pulled the mask away again so the doctors could finish their work, but Shane's hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from pulling away. The light burned in his eyes.

"Tell . . . Kim, kids . . . tell . . . sorry."

"Don't do this," she begged. "You can't-"

"Sorry . . . do . . . don't want to . . . go. . . ."

Kayla's voice rose. "You're not going anywhere, Shane. You got that? Don't you die!"

"Don't wa-" He coughed and his body convulsed violently, cutting off his words. Kayla waited for it to stop, but when it did - nothing. Shane fell completely still.

"No. You can't do this," Kayla cried. "You can't!"

But it was no use. The light faded from his eyes, and they became cloudy and unfocused.

"Damn it, Shane!" she yelled. "Fight!"

Around her, monitor alarms were ringing. Someone was calling a Code Blue and someone else was pulling her away. She saw Carly scrambling with the crash cart and heard Marcus call for a rib spreader. "No. Don't!" Kayla shouted, not sure if she was screaming at Shane for giving up or at Marcus for wanting to open him up in front of her.

"Get her out of here," someone ordered, and, then, she was being pulled out of the room and into the waiting room. Strong, familiar arms enveloped her. She felt the soft leather of his jacket and recognized his scent. He pulled her close, seeming not to care that she was covered in Shane's blood.

"I'm right here, Sweetness," Steve said, and Kayla sobbed and clung to him as if her life depended on it.


	316. Chapter 316

Kim felt Shane let go.

When Shane had been shot in Stockholm and had nearly died, Kim had first felt the icy chill. And when he had been caught in that explosion on the mountain, she had felt it again. But when the ISA declared him dead during the Jericho mission, Kim had refused to believe it. She still felt him. She had said that she would have known if he was dead.

She knew it now.

Her body had gone so cold before, but now it was numb. Her insides felt hollow, as if her entire being had filled with emptiness. This feeling was so much worse than the cold.

Kim watched the door to the trauma room as an orderly pulled Kayla out of the room and her sister collapsed, sobbing, into Steve's arms.

Tears flowed down Kim's cheeks and she began to rock back and forth. _How could you die? How could you leave me? How could you leave Andrew and Jeannie?_

_Oh, God . . . Jeannie._

Shane would never know. Kim could have told him through the door; she could have told him that Jeannie was his daughter. If he had known that, it would have given him more strength. She was sure of it.

She dropped her head into her hands. The tears kept flowing. Kim felt so empty, so alone. She looked back at her sister, who was being held and comforted by Steve.

_Who's going to comfort me? _Kim wondered.

It wouldn't be Shane. Kim closed her eyes as she realized she would never again see the light shine in his eyes as he smiled. She would never hear his soft accent as he read poetry or told her that he loved her. She would never feel his arms envelop her when she needed his strength.

"Kimber. . . ."

Kim opened her eyes at her brother's tentative voice. Bo was standing in front of her, his eyes downcast.

"Roman called," Bo explained. "He said Shane. . . ."

Kim could only shake her head as the tears continued to flow free. Before she could say anything, Bo pulled her from her seat and wrapped his arms around her.

"He's gone." She barely managed to choke out the words as the sobs wracked her body.

Bo gripped her tightly and whispered words that did not register. The only thing Kim heard was the echo of her own words.

"He's gone."


	317. Chapter 317

As Steve tried to calm a weeping Kayla, he began to realize what had happened in the other room.

_Damn you, Donovan_, he silently cursed. _Damn you for dying. _

He pulled Kayla even tighter against him. Even in the sadness of the moment, he could not help but relish the fact that she was safe and back in his arms. He had been so afraid he would never hold her like this again.

Feeling her grief, Steve did his best to comfort her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, softly stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry."

_It's all my fault. If I hadn't walked into Winters' trap . . . If I'd just waited for the signal._

In his arms, Kayla said, "I tried to save him. I tried. . . ."

"You did your best, baby," Steve answered. "You did your very best. There was nothing more you could do."

He brushed some of her hair off her face and, for the first time, saw the red gash on her forehead. Steve then remembered the blood in the car and his fears about her injuries.

"Sweetness," he said gently. "I want to get someone to look at that cut." He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Did you get hurt anywhere else? Did . . . did Cal hurt you?"

Kayla shook her head. "I just hurt a rib in the crash, but it'll be okay." Then her eyes widened and a look of concern crossed her face. "What about you? I . . . I heard you screaming. Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine." Steve reassured her with a tentative smile. "I thought Winters was headed for the back where Shane was, so I busted through the front to try and stop him." Guilt washed over Steve again. "It was a trap. Winters had a taser set up."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kayla asked again, looking him over with her nurse's eye and then stroking his face. "I was so scared, Steve. I thought I would lose you again, I . . ."

"It's all over now," Steve interrupted. He pulled Kayla back to him, held her tightly, and kissed the side of her head as she returned his embrace. "You're safe and I promise, I'm fine." Steve pulled away again and cupped her cheek in his hand. "It's you I'm worried about. That cut doesn't look too good. I want to find Neil and have him check you out."

"Not yet," Kayla insisted, shaking her head slightly. "I need to see Kimmie." Steve thought about protesting, but he could hear the urgency in Kayla's tone. They both turned their heads to where Bo was holding Kim in a tight embrace. He caught their looks and whispered something to Kim. She then turned toward them. She took a few deep breaths and brushed the tears off her cheeks. Steve could tell she was trying to remain strong.

In an instant, Kayla crossed the waiting area and hugged Kim. "I'm so sorry," Kayla said. "He loved you. . . . That's the last thing he said. He wanted you to know he loved you and always will."

Kim reacted by breaking down again. Each cry tore at Steve's heart.

"What am I going to do?" Kim cried. "How do I tell Andrew?" She buried her head against Kayla's shoulder. "How do I tell him? And Jeannie . . . God, he never knew."

Steve and Bo exchanged glances, neither having a clue what to say. "Kimber," Bo said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about any of that right now. Just don't worry."

Unable to stand there any longer, Steve turned away. He crossed over to the nurse's station and leaned against it, just as Roman rushed into the Emergency Room. Their eyes met and Steve just gave a curt shake of his head. Roman stopped short, closed his eyes, and swallowed deeply. Then, the anguish clear on his face, he crossed the room to his family.

Steve looked down at the counter of the nurses' station, as the same thought kept running through his head.

_It's all my fault._


	318. Chapter 318

Even as she cried on Kayla's shoulder, Kim was still numb. Then Roman was there and holding her as well.

"We're here for you, Sis," he said.

Kim stepped back and nodded. She blinked a couple of times and wiped away some of her tears. "I guess you need to ask some questions," she said.

"Not at a time like this." Roman's mournful expression reminded Kim that Shane and Roman had been close friends.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Roman led her over to a bench and helped her take a seat. He did not say anything, but sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He pulled her close, and she rested her head on his shoulder. In her mind, she pictured Andrew and Jeannie as young adults, this time having grown up without their father. Was it just an hour or two earlier that she had envisioned her children growing up without her? How had the world turned on its axis so suddenly? So much for worrying Jeannie's father would spoil her like Eve.

"Eve!" Kim sat up. "We've got to tell Eve."

"I'll take care of it," Roman said.

Kim's heart sunk and she shivered as she thought of Eve. When they thought Shane had died before, Eve had blamed Kim and the fragile relationship they had built had collapsed, never to be repaired. But Kim still loved Eve. She would be so crushed.

"Kim?" Neil Curtis's sympathetic voice came from her left. She turned to see him standing there. "Kayla just told me. I'm sorry."

She could only give him a small, appreciative nod.

He turned to Roman. "I've called security to keep the press out."

"Good," Roman said, and Kim detected a look in his eyes that told Neil, _Not now_. She was glad. Kim had no idea how they could even talk about things like that. _Shane's dead._ Nothing else matters. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling the chill in the room.

She stood up from the bench, unable to stand still. _Why didn't I convince Cal to leave sooner_? she asked herself. _Why couldn't Shane and Steve have arrived just a little later_? _We would have been gone._ Shane would be alive. So what if Kim had gone with Cal? That would have been a small price to pay. Her children would still have their father.

"Hey, Kim." She turned to see Steve standing next to her. She had not heard him approach and was surprised to see him holding out his leather jacket. "Why don't you put this on?"

"Why?" she asked.

He appeared confused. "Aren't you cold? You're shivering."

Funny, but she had not realized it. And, yes, she was cold. "Thanks, I am cold," Kim said. Then it hit her and her eyes widened. "I'm cold." Her heart suddenly began to beat again. "Oh my god, I'm cold."


	319. Chapter 319

"I'm cold," Kim repeated anxiously. "Don't you know what that means?"

Kayla had seen that look of denial on Kim's face before. She had seen it the morning after the explosion at Saul Taylor's revival camp.

"Kimmie," Kayla said, stepping toward her.

"No, no, no," Kim insisted. "I know what I feel. He's not dead."

Kayla did not know what to say. She had been in the ER; she had seen him. But then she reminded herself that Kim had been right about Shane being alive before. She reached out and took Kim's hand. Giving it a gentle squeeze, Kayla softly said, "If only it were true."

"It is, Kay," Kim said, her voice certain.

Before Kayla could respond, Kim tensed and pulled away. Kayla turned to see that Marcus had emerged from the trauma room. She knew what he was going to say, but waited silently for him to give official confirmation.

It did not come. "We're taking him into surgery," Marcus said.

"But. . . ." Kayla could not believe her ears. "I was there. . . ."

"We managed to revive him, Kay."

"So's he going to pull through?" Steve asked.

Marcus held up a hand. "We don't know. He's very weak and the bullet did a lot of damage. We know it punctured a lung and did some arterial damage. And we don't even know what else it hit." He looked at Kim. "I won't lie to you. It doesn't look good."

"Just do what you can, Marcus," Kim said."Is there any way I can see him before you take him in?"

"I'm sorry, Kim."

"Just to see him," she begged. "Just to tell him that I love him and remind him he has so much to live for."

Marcus looked uncomfortable, before he finally said, "Kim, trust me. You don't . . . you don't want to see him right now." Kayla understood what he was saying; if Shane died, seeing him after the emergency treatment he had already received was not how Kim would want to remember him. In Kayla's mind, she could picture it, and she thought that sometimes it really sucked to be a nurse.

"Kim, I think Marcus is right," she said. "Besides, he's probably already in the OR anyway."

"Yeah." Marcus' relief was evident. "Look, I need to go scrub in. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything more."

As he turned and headed for the operating room, Kim stood stoically. "He's alive," she said. "He has too much to live for to die now."

Kayla prayed her sister was right, but Shane's injuries were severe. And now they would have to wait for hours to find out if he pulled through the surgery.

Bo led Kim back to the bench, while Steve said something to Neil. Then Steve walked back over to Kayla.

"Sweetness, I want Neil to look you over. You should have that cut checked out and have your ribs x-rayed." Steve watched her with concern.

Kayla shook her head. "It's nothing."

"No, it's not nothing." Steve looked her in the eyes. "You've been through hell - the accident, Winters, and god knows what else. Let Neil check you out." He put an arm around her shoulder and turned to Roman, who was still standing beside them. "We probably should have Neil check Kim too."

"She's not leaving," Roman said, as they all looked over at the bench. Kim had her hands clasped tightly together and was staring off into the distance. Roman sighed. "I think I'll see if Marlena can come down."

That was probably a good idea, Kayla thought. Steve was right; they had been through hell. With Shane's shooting, it was almost hard to remember that they had been captives for several days, cut off from their children after the accident and Cal trying to shoot Andrew.

"Andrew!" Kayla turned to Steve. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, Sweetness. He's fine." Steve squeezed her shoulder. "He a tough little dude like his dad. He's over at Shane's with Stephanie and Jeannie."

Kayla was surprised. "Stephanie's at Shane's?"

"It's a long story," Steve said. "But she's fine. Let's get you checked out. Then I think we should get you a change of clothes."

Steve's words made Kayla look down and she realized that her clothes were covered with dark, drying blood.

_Shane's blood_.

Kayla nodded and began to walk towards the examination rooms. Then, unbidden, she heard Steve's screams in the hanger. She stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, baby?" Steve asked, clearly concerned.

"Nothing," Kayla said, shaking her head. "I just remembered . . . I just think that if I'm getting checked out, you should too."

"Baby, I told you. I'm fine," Steve protested.

"I know what you told me, but I still want somebody to examine you." She looked at Steve, a plea in her eyes. "I need to know that you're okay."

Steve's eye narrowed at Kayla's words and then he nodded. "All right, Sweetness. If that's what you need, then I'll get a once over myself."

"Thank you." Kayla kissed him on the cheek. Then she remembered something else she had to do. "Once Neil's done, we need to go to Shane's."

"You want to see Stephanie?" Steve asked.

She looked up at him. "Well, yes, I do. But it's not just for Stephanie. There's something I need to do there." Then Kayla looked back over to Kim. "It's something I promised to do."


	320. Chapter 320

Kim sat silently on the bench in the waiting room. She had no idea how long it had been since Marcus had told them Shane was alive. Her parents had arrived, but other than hearing that the children were fine and at Shane's, Kim had tuned out. Her only thoughts were about what was happening in the operating room.

She prayed for about the hundredth time that Shane would pull through. _He will_, she told herself. Shane had been hurt before and he always pulled through. He would pull through this time.

_He has to._

A shadow crossed over her and she looked up to see Marlena standing in front of her. "I brought you some tea," Marlena said, holding out a cup. Kim nodded and took the cup, but did not say a word. Neither did Marlena, as she took a seat to Kim's right.

Kim thought about the last time she saw Shane - that horrible morning when she realized there was no future for them. She had been so furious at Shane, and so heartbroken. And, yet, that would be so much better than the terror she felt right now.

Softly, so only Marlena could hear, Kim said, "The night before Cal captured me, Shane and I made love. It was like all those walls collapsed and we were open with each other. I don't think I ever felt more loved than I did that night." Marlena looked puzzled by Kim's statement, but Kim continued. "In the morning, Shane said it was a mistake. Nothing I said could convince him that our love could survive his going to prison. It was like watching him rebuild the walls right before my eyes. I said 'enough's enough' and told him I couldn't live there any longer. I said I was taking Andrew and told him I doubted a custody court would be sympathetic to an accused murderer."

"You didn't mean it," Marlena said.

_She doesn't understand_, Kim thought. "But I did. I meant every word. I was so angry and hurt. I was going to move on." She looked around the hospital waiting room. "That was it. I was done trying to break through his walls. If he couldn't trust our love, we couldn't have any future. Except for a few words through the door. . . . That could be the last thing I ever said to him."

Marlena reached out and took Kim's hand. "You have to have faith. Shane's strong."

"And then what?" Kim asked. "I go through this hell of not knowing if he's going to live and die - and for what? He's made it pretty clear that there's no future for us." She felt a flash of guilt. "I'm sorry. I know it's selfish to even be thinking about that right now. All that matters is Shane pulling through."

"There's nothing wrong with those thoughts," Marlena said. "It's natural at a time like this to think about how things might have been different. And you love Shane, so-"

"So what?" Kim knew she sounded bitter. "So I can think about some future that will never happen? Even if he pulls through, I'm still going to be outside looking in." She closed her eyes. "How can I move on when I still feel him in my heart? How could I even think I could move on?"

Marlena squeezed Kim's hand. "I didn't see Shane while you were missing, but from what Roman told me, he was out of his mind with worry and upset about what happened between the two of you."

"She's right, Sis," said Roman, who had just entered earshot. "I did see him. He wouldn't tell me what he did, except to say it was really stupid, but he was beating himself up over it. He kept saying he realized how stupid it was too late."

Kim looked up at him. "Don't just tell me what you think I want to hear, Roman."

"I'm not. That's what Shane said. Honest." He held up two fingers. "I swear. And I was an Eagle scout."

"Really?" Kim asked.

Roman nodded soberly. "Really. Don't ever doubt how much Shane loves you. And this family. You should've seen him when he thought Jeannie might be a target. He was so frantic, I had to get Neil to give me something to spike his tea with." At Kim's shocked expression, he shrugged. "I know I probably shouldn't have, but it seemed like the only option at the time."

Kim shook her head at the mental image that formed in her mind. Then something Roman said registered. "He was frantic about Jeannie?" When Roman nodded, Kim sighed. "He didn't even know the truth."

Raising an eyebrow, Roman glanced at Marlena.

"What do you mean?" Marlena asked.

"Cal said he blackmailed my doctor, forced him to lie about my pregnancy." Kim looked at Marlena and then at Roman. "This whole time we thought Jeannie was Cal's. . . . It was all a lie. Jeannie is Shane's daughter."

Roman shook his head. "No way."

"That's what he said. Jeannie was just a link to my past that Cal wanted to eliminate - just like Andrew." Kim shuddered as she thought about the madness of it all. "That was his plan. Kill the children and destroy my links to Shane."

"Don't think about that right now," Roman said softly. "You're safe. Andrew and Jeannie are safe."

"And if Shane dies. . . ." Kim said that in a matter-of-fact tone. "If he dies, Cal achieves his goal anyway. So-"

Roman cut her off. "Stop it." He grabbed her hand from Marlena, took her other hand in his, and crouched down in front of her so their eyes were level. "Shane is not going to die, Sis. Do you hear me? You have to stop thinking like that and you just have to keep praying. He's going to get through this."

"Roman's right," Marlena said. "And we're going to find out the truth about Jeannie, too. I'll talk to Neil and have him see if her records show anything conclusive."

"See," Roman added. "It's going to work out, Kimmie. Everything's going to work out." He let go of her hands.

Kim blinked a few times and stared down at her hands. As much as she wished she could share Roman's certainty, she could not quell the doubts. After everything that happened, even if Shane survived, she could not assume things would work out for them. She had so much hope just a few nights earlier, and those hopes had been crushed. But she did not say that. She just looked at her brother and said, "I hope you're right, Roman. God, I just hope you're right."


	321. Chapter 321

Steve pulled the car into Shane's driveway and came to a stop. After leaving Kim, he and Kayla had both been checked out. He had been given a clean bill of health with no lasting effects from the taser. Neil had diagnosed Kayla with a cracked rib and had stitched the cut on her forehead. He had reassured them that none of her injuries were serious and she would heal fine with some rest and time. Neil had also given Kayla some pain medication but judging from the look on Kayla's face when Neil had given her the pills, it was going to be a fight to get her to take them.

Getting out of the car, Steve walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. He held out his hand and, with a bit of a grimace, Kayla got out of the car. "I wish you would have taken one of those pain pills Neil tried to give you," Steve said. "I know that rib is hurting you."

"I'm fine," Kayla said with a hint of exasperation. "It's just a little sore. I don't need a pain pill for that."

"Okay," Steve replied, not wanting to fight about it just yet. "But I'm keeping my eye on you."

Kayla just smiled as Steve put his arm around her and directed her towards the front door of Shane's house.

Entering the house, they immediately found Simmons, who appeared to be heading into the library.

"Master Johnson," Simmons said, surprised. His surprise grew even more when he realized Kayla was standing next to Steve. "Madame Johnson!" Then he saw the state of her clothing. "What happened? Is Madame Brady-"

"Kim's safe," Kayla said quickly. "I. . . ." She looked at Steve. "Would you give me a minute?"

Steve was a little confused and leaned close. "What? Shouldn't we just tell him?"

Kayla shook her head and whispered back, "He's known Shane his entire life. He's practically family."

Feeling the guilt wash over him again, Steve understood. It would be best if Kayla broke the news gently. "Go ahead, Sweetness. I'll wait right here."

Simmons watched the exchange with a befuddled look. "Madame Johnson?"

"Why don't we go into the library?" Kayla stepped forward, took Simmons by the arm, and led him into the other room.

Left alone in the foyer, Steve shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced around. Only a few hours earlier, he and Shane had stood there and said they were "cool" with each other. A few minutes after that, they had cheered Jeannie's first steps. It was a stark reminder to Steve how quickly everything could change, that suddenly, everything important could be taken away.

Kayla and Simmons reemerged from the library a few minutes later. Steve had never seen Simmons anything other than perfectly composed, but the butler seemed more pale than usual and he swallowed several times before he said, "I'm sure . . . I'm sure Captain Donovan will be just fine."

Steve wished he could share Simmons' determination, but he said, "Yeah, I'm sure you're right." He looked around. "Are the kids all okay?"

"Yes, sir," Simmons replied. "Miss Stephanie is with the nanny. So is Miss Jeannie. And Master Andrew is with his tutor."

Steve wondered how they were going to tell Andrew about Shane.

"I really need to get cleaned up before we see the kids," Kayla said quietly. She looked at Simmons. "Do you have anything here I could change into?"

Simmons nodded. "Absolutely, Madame. I believe Madame Brady left a couple of boxes the other day. I'm sure there is something in there you could borrow."

"Why don't you go upstairs and get in the shower, Sweetness," Steve said. "I'll get the boxes from Simmons and meet you up there. I've been staying in the guest room at the end of the hall."

Kayla nodded and started up the stairs. Steve watched carefully for any difficulties until she reached the top. Then, quickly following Simmons, Steve retrieved the two boxes Kim had left and headed towards the guest room.

When he entered, he could hear the shower running. Setting the boxes down, he sat down on the bed and gave a quiet prayer of thanks that Kayla had returned to him relatively unscathed. Now, if Shane would just pull through, maybe they could all survive this nightmare.

After a few moments, Steve heard the water shut off. It was not long before Kayla entered the room wrapped in a large towel.

"Feel better, baby?" Steve asked. He could not help but smile a little at the picture she presented. He always loved her hair wet.

"Much better," Kayla said returning Steve's smile. Her smile faded and she spoke quietly. "I wasn't sure I'd ever get the chance to do that again."

Pain clutched at Steve's heart at Kayla's words. Rising from the bed, he walked quickly toward her and pulled her to him. "Don't even think about it anymore, Sweetness. You're safe now."

Steve could feel Kayla shaking as he held her. In a voice muffled against his chest, he heard her say, "I was so scared, Steve. I was afraid I would never see you or Stephanie again. I thought he was going to. . . ."

"Don't!" Steve said sharply. "Don't say it. That maniac can't hurt you now. You don't have to be scared anymore."

Kayla nodded and wept softly against Steve's chest. Steve knew she needed to release all the emotions she was feeling, so he just held her and let her cry. He gently ran his hands over her hair and whispered soft words of comfort and love.

Gradually, Kayla's sobs eased and she pulled away slightly. "I'm sorry." She wiped her tears from her face. "I didn't mean to get so emotional."

"Don't be sorry, Sweetness." Steve cupped her face in his hands. "Don't ever be sorry for leaning on me when you need to." He smiled gently. "God knows, I've leaned on you often enough."

Pulling Kayla back to him, Steve spoke softly in her ear. "Do you know how scared I was while you were missing? I thought I'd go insane not knowing where you were or if you were okay. Don't ever scare me like that again. Okay?"

Kayla wrapped her arms around him and gave a muffled, "Okay."

After a few moments, Steve released Kayla and took a step back. "I guess I better let you get dressed, huh?"

Kayla nodded and offered Steve a tired smile. As she opened the boxes to look for some clothes to wear, Steve thought about the time he had spent alone in that very room, wondering if he would ever see her again. Almost without realizing it, he began speaking.

"I've never been so scared in my life as I was when we found Kim's car and you were gone," he said slowly. "And every hour that went by, that fear just got worse."

"Steve. . . ."

Shaking his head, Steve continued. "I kept trying to tell myself that you were okay and we were going to find you, but . . ." his voice trailed off.

"Hey," Kayla said, walking toward him. "Remember what you said just a minute ago. It's over now. I'm here." She reached up and stroked his face gently.

Steve placed his hand over hers, holding it to his cheek and nodded. "I know, baby." He took a deep breath. "But when you were gone, I kept thinking about how all that time I was away all I wanted was to be home with you. And then I got my wish and instead of being grateful, I took it for granted." He looked deeply into Kayla's eyes. "And I vowed that if . . . when . . . I got you back, I wouldn't take anything for granted anymore."

"You didn't-" Kayla started to speak.

"Yes, I did, Sweetness," Steve interrupted with a small shake of his head. Taking her hand, Steve led Kayla to the bed, sat down, and pulled her gently down beside him. In a halting voice, he explained, "Ever since I've been home, I've been angry. . . . I was mad at you when I found out about you being with Shane. Then I was mad at Shane. And no matter how much we've talked about it, that anger never completely went away and we both know it."

"You had a right to be angry, Steve," Kayla said. "I understand that."

Steve chuckled softly. "Of course you understand, baby. You always do." He took a deep breath. "Maybe I had a right to be angry about the time I lost, but I was taking it out on all the wrong people. What I finally realized was that the person I was really mad at was me."

"Why would you be angry at yourself?" Kayla asked.

"Because I let you down." Steve said harshly, hearing the bitterness in his own voice. "I promised you and Stephanie that I would be there and take care of you. Instead, I let myself get caught in a trap and turned into a lab rat. I wasn't here for you, baby. And I'm so sorry for that."

"You didn't let me or Stephanie down," Kayla said, a tear running down her cheek. "What happened wasn't your fault. You were trying to help Bo. You had no way of knowing what would happen."

"It doesn't matter what I knew or didn't know," Steve replied. "All that matters is that I wasn't here when you needed me." He took another deep breath to calm himself. "I never should have been so angry at you or Shane. And I'm sorry for not ever really trying to understand what you went through while I was gone."

Steve wiped the tears from Kayla's cheek and cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not going to lie to you, baby. It's never going to be easy for me to hear, or think, about you and Shane together. That is always going to hurt in some way. But I promise that I will never let that come between us again. Nothing is going to come between us again."

"I love you so much." Kayla's voice was quiet yet firm. "I don't want anything between us anymore either."

Leaning close, Steve gently kissed her. He reveled in the feel of her lips and the taste of her tongue as the kiss deepened. Finally, he pulled away and smiled at her. "I love you too, Sweetness. More than anything ever in this world."

Steve kissed her again and then pulled her back to him, careful not to jostle her rib too much. He knew that they needed to go see Stephanie, Andrew and Jeannie and get back to the hospital, but he desperately wanted this moment of peace to last just a while longer.


	322. Chapter 322

Kayla felt the fear and tension of the past few days slowly fade into the background as Steve held her close. A part of her wanted nothing more than to stay that way for the next week or so, but she knew they needed to get moving and back to the hospital soon.

Slowly pulling back, she looked deeply into Steve's eye as she softly ran her hand down his face. She could feel the stubble from the short beard that had grown in over the last couple of days and she could see the love shining in his eye. But she saw something else there as well, something she wanted to put behind them once and for all.

"You know, you're not the only one who was angry," she said, still stroking his cheek. "When I thought I lost you, I was pretty angry myself. I was mad at Shane, at Bo, at myself, and-"

"At me," Steve interrupted. "You were angry at me."

"Yeah, I was," Kayla replied honestly. "I was mad because we were supposed to be together forever and you left me. And then, when I found out the truth about the Riverfront Raider case and how you were helping Bo, I was mad because you had lied to me."

"I'm sorry, baby-" Steve started to say.

"Shh." Kayla stopped him. "I don't want you to apologize. I just want you to listen for a minute, okay?"

Steve nodded and Kayla continued. "It took me awhile to figure it out, but I realized that being angry was just a waste of time. Maybe it was easier than feeling the pain, but the pain always came back. And being angry didn't solve anything." She took Steve's hand and held it to her chest. "It didn't bring you back to me."

"Sweetness-"

Kayla put her fingers to his lips, cutting off his words. "I realized something else along the way. I couldn't be angry at you because I knew that you would have never wanted to leave us. And, more importantly, the man I fell in love with - the man whose heart I know as well as I know my own - was incapable of refusing to help a friend." She smiled at Steve as the tears ran down her cheeks. "It's part of who you are and part of that heart that I fell in love with."

Leaning in, Kayla kissed Steve, letting him feel all the love she felt for him and relishing in the love she felt being returned. After a moment, she pulled back again.

"So I don't want to hear anything more about guilt or fault for what happened, okay?" She held Steve's face in her hands and again looked deeply into his eye. "What happened was the fault of only one man and, thankfully, he's in prison where he can't hurt anybody anymore." Kayla kissed Steve again and smiled. "All I want to focus on from here on out is you, me, and Stephanie and our future. I think it's time to put the past in the past for good."

Steve nodded. "That's all I want, baby."

"Good," Kayla replied with a grin. "Now why don't you go downstairs and check on Stephanie while I get dressed. I'll be down in a minute and then we can get what I need and get back to the hospital."

Kayla saw Steve's expression change at the mention of the hospital and she could have sworn she saw a shadow of guilt pass across it. Before she could question him about it, he stood up and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be downstairs when you're ready, Sweetness." He kissed her again and then walked out the door.

After Steve left, Kayla quickly went through the boxes Kim had left and found some slacks and a sweater to wear. She was thankful that she and Kim were close enough in size to share clothes. Within minutes, Kayla was dressed and headed back downstairs.

At the bottom of the stairs, she turned and walked into the library. She smiled broadly as she saw Steve holding Stephanie.

"Baby girl," she called out, rushing to her daughter.

Stephanie's face lit up in a huge grin when she saw Kayla. Reaching out her little arms, she called, "Mama!"

"Oh, Stephanie. I missed you so much," Kayla said as she pulled her daughter into her arms, feeling the tears falling down her cheeks yet again. She hugged her daughter closely to her and kissed her head over and over again, only stopping when she felt Stephanie struggling against her.

"I'm sorry, baby," Kayla said, laughing as she loosened her grip. "I just missed you so much."

"She missed you too," Steve said, a small smile on his face. "When your mama brought her over the other night, she said that Stephanie had been asking for you."

Kayla smiled and kissed Stephanie again, then looked around the room. "Where's Jeannie?" she asked.

"The nanny took her into the kitchen to get a snack," Steve replied. "She said we could bring Stephanie in there when we were ready to go."

Kayla nodded. "I guess we should be going." She handed Stephanie back to Steve. "Would you take her into the kitchen while I get what we came for?"

"Sure." Steve looked at his daughter. "Give mama a kiss goodbye, little Sweetness. We'll be back to get you in a little while."

Kayla kissed Stephanie's cheek and watched as Steve carried her out of the room. Stephanie talked up a storm the whole time, and Kayla smiled at the picture they made. Once they left, though, her smile faded, as Kayla again recalled the other purpose for coming to Shane's house.

Slowly making her way to the desk, she thought about all of the memories she had of this room. She remembered watching Shane dance with Stephanie and the way she would sip her orange blossom - not proper tea in Shane's estimation - as she and Shane talked about everything or about nothing. In this room, she had always felt safe and secure - and loved. Kayla felt the familiar guilt hit her with that thought, but she pushed it away. She had told Kim she would not feel guilty anymore. Shane had loved her and she had loved him, and so much of that had developed in this room. She could not pretend it had never happened. In this room, she had found the support to begin to live again and now, with Steve, she finally had her life back.

"It's not fair," she said quietly. "Shane gave me back my life. He can't lose his. It's just not fair."

Reaching the desk, it took her no time to find the small brown box. It was right on top, obviously not something Shane had just tossed in there and left to be buried by more recent papers and objects.

Opening it, Kayla looked at the broach and smiled. When Kim saw the cameo, she would know how Shane felt. It was his link to her and always would be. Taking the box, Kayla shut the desk drawer and headed back to the foyer.

Steve was just coming back into the foyer as Kayla entered. "Did you find what you were looking for, baby?"

Kayla nodded and held out the box to Steve. He looked at her curiously, then opened it. He let out a low whistle when he saw the cameo.

"It's beautiful." He looked at Kayla. "Shane wanted to you to get this for him?"

"Not for him," Kayla explained. "For Kim. He wanted her to have it again." Kayla smiled slightly. "If you'd seen him, Steve . . . . All he wanted was for Kim to know how much he loved her. Maybe this will give Kim something to hold on to."

Steve looked down for a moment, then nodded. "I guess we'd better get going then."

Together, they turned and walked towards the door. Suddenly, they were both startled by a voice calling out behind them.

"Aunt Kayla! Uncle Steve!"

Kayla turned to see Andrew racing down the stairs. She breathed a sigh of relief to see him looking so healthy. But that relief quickly faded as she realized Andrew was going to want to know about his parents.

"Andrew!" Kayla said, kneeling down as her nephew approached. She pulled him into a hug and then smiled at him. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Andrew smiled back, then looked around the room. "Where's my mommy? Didn't she come home with you?"

Kayla looked helplessly at Steve, having no idea what to tell her nephew. Kim should be the one to tell Andrew about Shane, but Kayla did not know how to explain Kim's absence.

"Hey, little dude," Steve said, kneeling beside Kayla. "You're mama's just fine. She just needed to get checked out by Dr. Curtis - just like you did." He ruffled the boy's hair. "She'll be home just as soon as she can. I know she can't wait to see you."

Andrew frowned at Steve's words and looked back and forth between Kayla and Steve suspiciously. It did not look like he was sure if he could believe them.

"I promise your mama's okay," Steve said, trying to reassure the boy. "Now. . . . I was just in the kitchen and there are some fresh cookies in there just waiting for somebody to gobble them up. You know anybody interested in the job?"

Andrew shrugged.

"Come here," Kayla said, hugging Andrew again. "Your mama was so worried about you, Andrew. We both were. And . . . And she wants to see you desperately. She just has to make sure . . . things are okay. But she's fine and she's going to be home soon." She looked Andrew in the eyes. "I swear. So how about you go into the kitchen and have some of those cookies - before your sister and cousin beat you to it."

Still frowning slightly, Andrew nodded. As she watched him slowly walk toward the kitchen, Kayla could tell he still was confused and had some doubts, but she had done her best. Standing, she turned to Steve, Kayla said, "Thank you. I had no idea what to tell him."

"Truth is, I didn't know what to say either." Steve had stood up also, and shoved his hands into his pockets. "But I figured Kim should be the one to tell him about Shane."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." Kayla sighed. "Let's just get to the hospital and hope there is some good news waiting for us."

"There will be," Steve said, pulling Kayla into his arms. "Shane's going to be just fine. We just have to keep believing that."

Kayla closed her eyes for a moment and gave a silent prayer that Steve's words would come true. Then she pulled away, took Steve's hand and began walking towards to the door. She still had her promise to Shane to keep.


	323. Chapter 323

Just a quick author's note. I know it's the holidays, but it's been very quiet in terms of reviews and comments. It would be great to get some feedback. Also, I just want to let you know that the run of short scenes is over and, for the most part, the length of the upcoming scenes will be consistent with what they were before the rescue sequence.

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"I guess the news is out," Bo muttered. Kim looked up from her seat to the television in the corner of the waiting room. The "Breaking News" banner flashed across the screen, only to be replaced with a photo of Shane - his mugshot from the recent arrest.

Grateful that the TV was muted, she looked away just as the screen switched to a view outside University Hospital. Kim did not need the television to tell her that a large group of reporters was now gathered outside.

_What will they do with this news_? she asked herself. Would Shane still be their Public Enemy Number One? Or would the news suddenly turn sympathetic?

At the moment, Kim could hardly care.

"Vultures," Bo said with a grimace. "Let me go deal with them."

Roman shook his head. "That's not a good idea." He looked at Kim. "Why don't I call Mickey? He's probably the best person to speak to the press right now. I suspect he'll be on his way once he hears the news anyway."

Barely registering his words, Kim just nodded. It did not matter. All that mattered was Shane getting through surgery. She said nothing else as Roman headed to the phone.

"You hanging in there?" Bo asked.

Kim gave him a weak smile and shivered from the incessant cold. "Barely. But I know at least he's still hanging on." At that, Marlena gave Kim a comforting look.

That reminded Kim of her earlier exchange with Marlena and Roman. Should she really believe them? Did anything that happened while Kim was Cal's captive change Shane's mind? It was hard for her to believe it. She suspected that Shane had been worried with her missing; that would have been his normal, over-protective self. And he may have even said he loved her, like Kayla said, but that was nothing. He had admitted that to her, too - and still had turned around and rejected her.

_I'm not going to get my hopes up._

That was the reality of life with Shane Donovan. He might have let his guard down a little due to fear, but those walls would return. They always did.

Yet, right now, Kim would give anything in the world to have to deal with Shane's walls. At least, it would mean he was alive.

Her mind flashed back to when Shane left Salem a few months earlier on the mission to rescue Steve. Kim remembered how she felt the icy chill then, probably at the time Shane was raiding the compound in Egypt. She also remembered how she had prayed Shane would come home, even if it meant him coming home to Kayla.

Now she had to pray he pulled through, even if it just meant he went home to an empty house. That's all that mattered.

"Kim." Marlena's voice intruded into Kim's thoughts. She turned her head to where Marlena was seated across the table, but she was looking toward the entrance of the waiting area.

For an instant, Kim felt a surge of hope that Marcus was coming with news, but when she turned, she saw that Neil had just entered.

He obviously detected her disappointment. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"No," Kim assured him. "I . . . I was just hoping it was Marcus."

"I can understand," he said, giving her a sympathetic smile. "I know it's hard, Kim, but you have to be patient. Marcus and Carly are the best surgeons in Salem. They're going to do everything they can."

Kim nodded. "I know." She then noticed that Neil was holding a medical file. In small print, it read "Jeannie Donovan."

"I, uh, took a look at Jeannie's file," Neil said. "I mean, after Marlena told me what you said . . . . I couldn't really believe it. So I had to check . . . and I'm so sorry, Kim."

Kim felt her heart sink. It had just been another of Cal's mind-games.

Neil looked very uncomfortable.

"It's okay, Neil." She sighed. "I guess it was too much to hope that Cal's story was true."

"No," he said quickly. "You don't understand. I checked Jeannie's ultrasound, and it's obvious. Dr. Norris told you she was conceived in November 1989, right? That is what Dr. Norris told you, isn't it?"

"Yes," Kim said.

Neil shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kim. I should have double-checked the file. There's no way that could be true. I looked at the ultrasound you had in May, and the fetus is just way too small. From the image, I'd say Jeannie was conceived in February or so."

February. Then. . . . Kim's mind reeled as she tried to remember. February was after Shane returned. February was when they made love for the first time.

"Then Cal-"

"- was telling the truth," Neil finished.

Even though Kim had believed Cal when he told her, the confirmation from Neil still stunned her. She stood up and took a few steps away from her chair.

"All this time," she said quietly, but her tone masked the fury that was rising in her.

"Kim." Marlena must have stood up also, because she placed a hand on Kim's shoulder.

"I'm just wondering how anyone could be as evil as Cal Winters?" She took a deep breath. "I hope he rots in hell."

Marlena took her hand and led her back to her seat. "Cal can't hurt you any more."

"I know," Kim said. But how much of the damage had already been done? She and Shane had split over her "secret." Jeannie had lost her father for more than a year and, now, might lose him forever. "I just keep thinking . . . if Shane. . . ." She could not say it. "He might never know."

She looked away and ignored whatever Marlena was saying. Her mind was no longer in the waiting room. She was thinking only about what might be happening in the operating room.

_You have to live_, she silently pleaded. _There may be no future for us, but you have a daughter - the baby daughter you always wanted. So if nothing else, Shane, you have to live for her. Your daughter needs you._


	324. Chapter 324

The street in front of the hospital was filled with news vans and reporters, so Kayla urged Steve to go around to the back. She convinced security to let them park in the staff parking lot before they went inside.

In the waiting room, the atmosphere was much the same as when they had left, so she assumed that there probably was no news on Shane's condition. Roman confirmed that a minute later.

There were more people, though. Her parents had arrived. Caroline rushed over and embraced Kayla.

"We were so worried," she cried. "Are you okay? Are you really okay?" Before Kayla could even respond, Caroline looked at the cut on her forehead. "Did you have that checked?"

"Yes, Ma," Kayla said patiently. "I'm fine."

Shawn waited for Caroline to pull away, before he hugged Kayla too. "We're just glad you're safe." He turned to Steve. "And we've got you to thank for that."

Kayla detected a bit of discomfort in the way Steve shifted. "Shane did most of it," he said.

"I say you're both heroes," Shawn insisted. "Don't tell me different."

Kayla studied Steve. He had told her about walking into the trap, but she suspected there was more about what happened that he had not told her. She knew Steve though, and her gut was telling her that he was blaming himself for what happened to Shane. But they would discuss that more in private. Right now, she wanted to reassure him. "Oh course, he was." She stepped over, kissed Steve on the cheek, and whispered in his ear. "I love you and I know you, but you're not responsible."

Steve tensed up, telling Kayla that her suspicions were correct. "Baby. . . ."

"Shhhh. . . . Not here. We'll talk later - when we're alone." She kissed his cheek again. "Just remember that I love you no matter what. And I know your heart, Steve Johnson."

As she stepped away, Roman approached them. Abe was beside him.

"I hate to do this," Roman said. "But, Steve, we've got a few questions-"

Kayla wondered if that was the best thing. "Roman, do you have to? I mean, right now?"

"I wish it could wait," he replied.

She felt Steve put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Sweetness. We might as well get this over with."

Abe cleared his throat. "I think it would be better if we did this in private, with you, alone, Steve."

Kayla began to protest, but Steve took her hands in his. "It's okay. Besides, don't you have something for Kim?"

He was right. She squeezed Steve's hands. "I'll be right here when you're finished."

As Steve walked toward the staff lounge with Roman and Abe, Kayla turned around. For the first time, she saw that some of the Hortons were there. Mickey was sipping a cup of coffee by the nurses station and speaking with Neil and Tom, probably about dealing with the press. Alice, in her striped volunteer uniform, stood nearby with Julie.

Over by a table, Kim was seated next to Marlena. Bo was hovering over them, with his hands on Kim's shoulders. Kayla could see the worry and doubt in Kim's eyes, which she then closed. Bo leaned over and whispered something and Kim forced a tiny smile to her face and nodded.

Kayla walked over and glanced at her little brother. "Do you mind if I interrupt? I need to talk to Kim."

"Okay, Sis?" He checked with Kim who nodded at him and then at Marlena. "Come on, Marlena," Bo said. "I bet there's a doughnut in the cafeteria with my name on it."

As they walked away, Kayla took Marlena's seat. The brown box in her pocket was tiny, but it felt heavy against her leg.

Before Kayla could pull it out, Kim glanced around the waiting room and smiled softly. "When Shane first came to Salem. . . . God, that seems like a lifetime ago." She looked at Kayla. "You were still in Cleveland, so you didn't know him then. I guess I didn't really either. I had no idea if we would ever get together."

Kayla was confused about where Kim was going with this, so she tried to sound reassuring. "But you did-"

"I know. But I was just thinking about that time," she said. "See . . . there was a point when he was going to leave to take another job, and I asked how he could walk away from the friends he'd made here in Salem. And he said that he had no friends."

"Like you said," Kayla replied. "That was a lifetime ago. A lot of people love Shane."

"Even if he doesn't exactly make it easy." Kim shook her head. "Still, I think he'd appreciate having so many people here." She turned back to Kayla. "So you had something to say, Kay?"

Remembering the cameo, Kayla reached into her pocket and pulled out the box. "When I was in the trauma room with him, Shane asked me to get this for you. Not the box, but what's inside."

Kim seemed to know what was in the box, because her hands trembled as she reached for it, opened it, and pulled out the cameo. Her breath caught in her throat. "I don't understand."

"I knew where he kept it, so he made me promise to get it and bring it to you. He wants you to have it. He said it's a sign of how much he loves you."

Kim let the box fall to the floor as she clutched the cameo in both hands. She was crying again. Kayla reached forward and placed her hands around Kim's.

"You have to hang on, Kimmie."

Kim's eyes widened. "How did you. . . ." She looked down at her hands, leaving the question unfinished. Then she said, "I had a dream once, that horrible summer when Shane was being held by Jericho. I dreamed that Shane came to me and told me to hang on to this cameo. He said that as I long as I hung on to it, I wouldn't lose him."

Kayla felt her own breath catch in her chest and she blinked back on her own tears. She needed to stay strong for Kim. She lifted Kim's hands, so the cameo was directly between them. In a determined voice, Kayla said, "Then hang on to it, Kim. Don't you dare let go."


	325. Chapter 325

Steve braced himself for what was to come as he followed Roman into the lounge with Abe trailing behind him.

Once inside, Roman poured a cup of coffee and offered one to Steve, who took it gratefully. He needed the caffeine to ward off the exhaustion of the last few days.

"Okay, Steve," Roman said, pulling up a chair at the table. "Why don't you tell me exactly what happened this morning?"

Taking a deep breath, Steve sat down at the table. He took a sip of his coffee and then began telling Roman the entire story, starting with the phone call from Jimmy the night before.

"Why the hell didn't you call me when you went to the Heart?" Roman asked, interrupting Steve's explanation of what had happened.

Steve's temper flared at Roman's tone, but he held it in check. He knew this was just how Roman reacted to being left in the dark. "We didn't call you because we didn't know if the guy really did have any information." Steve gave Roman a look. "And, if he did, I knew he wasn't going to spill it to the cops."

Roman's eyebrow rose in response at Steve's remark. "So you and Shane decided to just do this on your own?"

Steve held up his hand, trying to stave off Roman's anger. "Look, Roman. I know you're not happy about this, but you know those guys on the riverfront don't trust the cops. Hell, that's why you wanted me to go to work for you in the first place."

"You still should have called as soon as you got the information," Roman grumbled.

"We did call," Steve replied, still keeping his temper in check. "Shane called Abe. You know that."

"Yeah, he called. But you two didn't bother waiting until the back-up got there, now did you?"

Roman had him there, Steve knew. But he also knew that there was no way he or Shane would have waited. Not with Kim and Kayla inside that hanger. "Would you have waited if Marlena was in that hanger?" Steve asked. "And don't bother telling me you would, because I know different. I remember what you were like when she was kidnapped before."

Roman did not respond and Steve knew he had won that round. Then he heard Abe's voice behind him. "So what happened when you got to the hanger?" Abe asked.

Steve turned to Abe. "We stopped and checked out an empty hanger to try and get a lay of the land. We figured if Kim and Kayla were there, they were in the back part of the building. So we decided Shane would go around back and I'd wait at the front. When he gave the signal, I'd bust in."

Roman asked the next question. "So how did it go down?"

"I waited at the front of the building like I said I would." Steve replayed the events in his mind. "It seemed to be taking forever, but I just kept waiting and watching. I could see somebody moving around inside, but I couldn't get a positive I.D."

Unable to sit still, Steve stood up and began pacing around. "I kept waiting for the signal from Shane and when it didn't come, I knew he must have found something at the back of the building." He took a deep breath. "Then I saw the guy inside moving towards the back. There was no way I could get a shot from where I was, and I wasn't even sure if the person inside was Cal."

"So what did you do?" Abe asked.

"I waited as long as I could, but I could see the guy going to the back of the building and I was afraid Shane would be caught in a trap back there. And if Kim and Kayla were back there, they could get caught, too." Steve looked at Roman, hoping he would understand. "So I crashed through the door. I figured I could get the drop on the guy or at least keep him in the front of the building."

"It sounds like that didn't work," Roman said, raising an eyebrow.

Steve shook his head. "It was a trap. There was a taser set up. . . . It nailed me as soon as I went through the door." He shuddered slightly remembering the pain from the taser. "I was as helpless as a baby in a matter of a couple of seconds."

"So if you got tasered, then how did Shane get shot?" It was Abe's turn again.

Steve felt the guilt wash over him yet again. _He got shot because I screwed up. _Taking another breath, he continued. "I tried to tell Winters that I was the only one there, but he didn't believe me. He said he knew I was lying. He called Shane out, telling him that he'd kill me if Shane didn't come out."

"So Shane came out?" Roman asked.

Steve nodded. "He dropped his gun, but I knew he had a back-up. We worked on Winters, trying to get him to surrender, but it was clear that wasn't going to happen. So I started taunting Winters, trying to draw his attention. I guess it was working because he was focused on me and about to shoot me."

Steve paused, seeing the entire scene play out in slow motion in his mind. He could see Cal's finger tightening on the trigger.

"Steve?" Abe said, a questioning look on his face.

Steve shook his head, clearing the picture from his mind. "Winters was shooting and I got knocked down. It was like all at once. He pulled the trigger, I went flying, and I heard the shots. 'Boom boom' - just like that."

Steve looked down at the floor. "I thought I'd been hit at first. I mean, it was point-blank. Winters' couldn't have missed, but he did, I thought. When I got up, I saw that Winters was dead. . . . I told Shane it was a hell of a shot." He paused, remembering the look on Shane's face. "That's when I realized Shane had been shot, too."

Steve turned to face Roman and Abe. "Shane pushed me out of the way of that bullet," he said, his voice low and anguished. "He's in that operating room right now because of me. I should be in there right now. Not him. If he doesn't make it, it's my fault." Steve turned away and walked to the window. Staring out at the bright sunshine of the day, he thought again, _If Shane dies, it's all my fault._


	326. Chapter 326

Kim sat silently and stared at the cameo in her hand. She ran her thumb over the carved woman on the broach and tried to understand what it meant.

_Shane wanted me to have this._

She remembered the dream she had years earlier when Shane was being held prisoner by Jericho. Even now, she could almost feel him pulling away from her as she begged him not to go. Then he had given her the cameo and told her to hang on to it.

"_Hold it until I come back and you won't lose me._"

That's what he had said in the dream. Was that what he was trying to tell her by having Kayla get the cameo? Kim shook her head. That was a silly thought. The dream had been hers, not Shane's.

But there was still something comforting about it, to believe that the broach had some kind of power, the type of magic that she had insisted she and Shane were immune to.

Or maybe they were not so immune after all. Kim thought about the story Shane told her about the cameo, and his mother's words - "_Your hearts will be connected forever._"

The last time Kim had thought of those words, she had dismissed them. But perhaps she was wrong, she thought, as she shivered yet again. She could feel Shane. She could feel when he was hurt or in danger. Wasn't that a connection? She had felt when he was shot and then there had been that horrible emptiness before he was revived. The connection was there. It had been there ever since they had fallen in love, and it would remain there as long as they both lived.

But that was not the problem. The connection could still be alive, but what good was it if Shane refused to admit it was there? He had spent months pushing her away, denying what they both knew was in their hearts.

She talked so much about Shane's walls and how they seemed designed to keep her distant, but, as she sat there, she realized something else. The walls did not just keep her out; they also kept things in. Shane was a master at keeping his heart walled off from the outside world.

So what did it matter if they were connected? Who cared what the cameo meant?

It changed nothing.

"Kimmie?" Kayla looked at Kim with a concerned expression.

Kim sighed. "I don't get it," she said quietly. "He spent all this time pushing me away, and I'm supposed to believe his mind changed?" Kim held up the cameo. "I'm supposed to be given this and that is supposed to prove something." She knew she sounded bitter, but she was confused.

"I don't know," Kayla admitted. "I just know what he said. He thought he was dying and all he wanted was for me to tell you he loved you and he wanted you to have that." She hesitated, then added, "And that he didn't want to leave you and the kids."

_The kids_. That thought caused Kim to sigh again. Shane's kids included Jeannie, and he did not even know it.

_Or did he_? Kim thought about how Shane had said repeatedly that he was drawn to Jeannie. And how many times he had mentioned similarities between Jeannie and her namesake, Shane's mother. _That was his heart talking._

Kim stared off into the distance and wondered. Had Shane known, deep down, that Jeannie was his daughter? If so, as with Kim, he had pushed Jeannie away. He had used those walls to close his heart off from the truth about Jeannie too.

"I think you need to trust this," Kayla said, interrupting Kim's thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Kim asked.

Kayla pointed to the cameo. "That, and what Shane wanted me to tell you." She looked away briefly. "I was thinking of something Steve said earlier, when we went to the house. He was talking about how scared he was when he found your car and how he realized how much time he's wasted since he's been home being angry about things he couldn't control. . . . Being angry at the wrong people." Kayla looked back at Kim. "I think Steve had to face what it might be like if I never came home, just like I had to when we thought he was dead. I think he felt a little of what it's like to think you'll never see the person you love more than anything, and it put him in my shoes a bit." She placed her hand on Kim's and gave her an encouraging smile. "Maybe the same thing happened to Shane."

It was a nice sentiment, but Kim struggled to believe it. "Shane and Steve are so different, Kay. Steve's never been able to hide how he feels about you. But Shane-" Kim stopped. She hated these negative thoughts.

"What about Shane?" Kayla prompted.

"You know how upset I was the morning before Cal caught us, remember?" Kim's words her soft and low.

Kayla nodded. "I remember."

"The night before . . . Shane broke down. Everything that had been building finally . . . it all cracked and it was like all Shane's walls came crashing down." Her voice lowered even more. "And we made love and he said he loved me." Kim felt the tears building again. "But that next morning they were all there again, stronger than ever. That's why I moved out of the house." She looked at Kayla and shrugged slightly. "How can I believe this isn't the same thing? You said yourself that Shane thought he was dying when he told you to get the cameo for me." Kim said, the fear and doubt breaking through. "I don't know how to trust that those walls won't be there again when this crisis is over."

Kayla started to protest. "Kimmie-"

"It's okay, Kay," Kim interrupted. "I guess I just need to hear it from him; I need to hear his voice and see if I can believe it." She sighed. "This is silly. I shouldn't even be thinking about this. All that matters right now is that Shane makes it through this surgery." She clutched the cameo tightly. "That's all that matters."

Kim could see the concern in Kayla's eyes and decided it was time to change the subject. "You know . . . I owe Steve an apology. I said a lot of things that I shouldn't have," she said with an apologetic smile. "I guess Steve's not the only one who was angry at the wrong people."

"It doesn't matter now." Kayla gave Kim a soft smile. "That's all in the past. It's not important."

Kim silently agreed. How silly that all seemed now. But, still, she would apologize to Steve when she got the chance. "Is he with Roman?" Kim asked.

Kayla nodded and frowned slightly. Kim wondered why, and started to ask, but stopped when she saw Marcus enter the waiting area. Kim was on her feet immediately, even as her heart seemed to stop beating.

"Marcus?" Before he could respond, she begged, "Tell me he's going to be okay."

_Tell me he's going to live._


	327. Chapter 327

Steve stood in the lounge and listened to the silence. Neither Roman nor Abe had said a word since Steve had told them what happened.

_They know it's my fault, too_.

"Steve, man. . . ." Roman's eyes fixed on Steve's. "What happened in there. . . . It sounds like you did what you had to do."

Abe nodded. "We know why it took Shane so long to get inside. Winters had the back door and windows wired with explosives. Shane had to cut the wire on a window."

"So you're saying I jumped the gun?" Steve asked. "That I should have waited?"

Roman shook his head. "We don't know that. You said yourself that Winters was heading for the back; Shane could have already been inside."

"I'm sure he was," Abe added. "It looked like Winters was keeping them in a locked room, and they obviously got out before we got there. So someone picked that lock."

Steve was beginning to mull that over when he heard a shout from outside the lounge. With Roman and Abe right behind him, Steve rushed through the door to see Kim hugging Marcus.

"Thank you," she cried. "Oh, thank you."

It was clear that Marcus was uncomfortable. "Kim. . . ." He hesitated, pulling out of her embrace. "I'm not going to lie to you. He survived the surgery, but his condition is still very critical. There are no guarantees."

Steve doubted Kim even heard that. "He's alive, Marcus," she insisted. "That's all that matters. He's alive and he can't die now." Steve saw that she was clutching the piece of jewelry Kayla had retrieved from Shane's house. She was holding it in both hands, close to her chest, and repeated, "He can't die."

His chest feeling hollow, Steve glanced at Roman, who was watching Kim with a somber look on his face. Steve suspected Roman shared the fear that Kim was getting her hopes up. They had both heard the uncertainty in Marcus' voice. Like he had said, there were no guarantees.

"I want to see him," Kim said.

Marcus looked down at the floor. "That won't be possible for awhile, Kim. His condition . . . He can't have visitors right now."

"How soon?" Kim asked.

"I don't know." Marcus looked nervous again.

Kayla stepped in before Kim could press the issue. "Kimmie, I'm sure Marcus will tell us when you can see Shane." Taking Kim's arm, Kayla led her back over to the seating area, Marlena close behind them.

Stepping close to his friend, Steve asked in a low voice, "Marcus. . . . What else can you tell us?" Roman was right beside them and waited also for a response.

"There's not much to tell." Marcus shrugged. "We managed to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding, but the blood loss was severe. And we had to resection the lung-"

Steve interrupted. "What does that mean?".

"We had to remove part of a lobe from the left lung," Marcus explained in a low voice. "And we had to do a lot after his heart stopped. . . . It's just too early to tell. He hasn't woken up yet and who knows . . . when that will happen. And even if he gets through the short-term, he's got a long road to recovery."

"Well . . . you did your job for the short-term." Steve sighed. "The rest will come when it comes."

"I just hope Kim understands," Marcus said quietly.

Roman spoke before Steve could. "Let her hope. It's not like it would be any worse if. . . ."

_If Shane still dies._ Steve silently finished Roman's unspoken sentence. There was some truth to that. Losing Shane would be just as devastating for her no matter if it came after a brief period of hope. It would make no difference.

And no matter what Roman said, Steve could not help but feel it was his fault.

_It could be me in there_, he thought silently.

While Steve was thinking, Neil and Mickey walked over to them.

"The press are requesting a statement," Neil said.

"Tell 'em to take a hike," Steve muttered.

Neil sighed. "I wish we could, but we have a crowd outside the front of the hospital and they're not going anywhere. The problem is that we don't really know who should be making decisions about Shane. Eve's his next of kin. . . ."

"I've got people tracking her down in Africa through Frankie's organization," Roman said. "But the last time it took a few days for her to get word. Hopefully, it will go faster this time."

"Eve?" Marcus rolled his eyes. "That's just what we need."

"She's Shane's daughter," Mickey said. "As his eldest child and an adult, she should be making the call. In her absence, Andrew's-"

"Andrew's five years old," Steve said. "How can he make decisions?"

Mickey shook his head. "He can't. But Kim is Andrew's legal guardian so, until we make contact with Eve, she probably has the most legal authority to act on Shane's behalf."

"I don't know," Roman said. "She's barely hanging on right now, Mickey. The press is the last thing she wants to think about." He thought for a minute. "What if it's just something simple from Mickey? 'Shane's out of surgery' and that's all? Would that be enough for the hospital?"

Neil pursed his lips. "That's about all we know, so I guess it's probably okay. I'm not sure if that will mollify the press though. They're going to want to know a lot more."

"Mainly, they're going to want to know what happened, and that's the Salem PD's job," Roman said. "Abe and I'll deal with that."

Steve flinched at that. Of course the press would want to know what happened, which meant that, sooner or later, they would find out that Shane was shot because Steve had walked into a trap.

"Roman, would you talk to Kim?" Neil asked.

Roman hesitated, but then said, "Yeah, I guess I should. Mickey, why don't we get this over with?"

As they walked over to Kim, with Neil trailing behind, Steve was left alone with Marcus. He glanced around the waiting room and saw that Bo was talking in hushed tones with Carly in the far corner of the room. Steve looked sidelong at Marcus, who was watching Kim.

"There anything else, Homey?" Steve asked. "Anything you didn't tell us already?"

Marcus glanced at him and then looked back at the room as if to make sure he could not be overheard. Then, in a voice that only Steve could hear, Marcus said, "It's a miracle he's still alive, Steve." He took a deep breath, then added, "I'm just glad it's not you in there."


	328. Chapter 328

Followed closely by Marlena, Kayla led Kim back over to the chairs. Behind them, Steve was talking closely with Marcus. Kayla could tell by the look on Marcus' face that Shane's condition was far from good. In fact, the expression Marcus wore now was exactly the one he had worn when he had come to talk to her after Steve's surgery nearly a year ago.

Shaking that thought from her mind, Kayla focused on Kim. The important thing now was that Shane had survived the surgery and Kim had some hope to hold on to.

"I don't understand why Marcus won't let me see Shane," Kim said, looking at Kayla. "Do you think he's keeping something from us?"

Kayla shook her head. "No, Marcus wouldn't lie to you like that." She paused, trying to figure out what she could say that would be encouraging, but would not give false hope. "Shane just went through major surgery and his body has undergone a major shock. I'm sure Marcus and Carly just want to monitor him extra closely to make sure he's stabilized. That's much easier to do without having visitors in the way - even you."

Kayla flashed a glance at Marlena, hoping Marlena would back her up. Marlena gave Kayla a quick nod and the said, "That's right, Kim. I'm sure it's Marcus and Carly just being ultra-cautious and wanting to give Shane the best care."

Kim looked at both Kayla and Marlena as if she did not really believe either one of them, but then slowly nodded. "Okay, then I guess I'll just have to wait."

Kayla and Marlena exchanged another glance at that comment. They both knew that waiting around the hospital for hours was not good for Kim.

"Kimberly." Marlena turned to face Kim. "Maybe you should go home, to Shane's house, for a little while. It would give you a chance to get cleaned up and get something to eat. I'm sure it's going to be a few hours before Shane can have any visitors."

Kim shook her head. "No, I don't want to leave. If . . . if something happens, I want to be here."

"I know how you feel," Kayla said. "But when Steve and I were at the house earlier, we saw Andrew. He was asking about you."

Kim's eyes widened at Kayla mention of Andrew. "You saw him?" she asked quickly. "Was he okay?"

"He's fine." Kayla smiled. "You'd hardly know anything happened to him. We told him that you were okay, but I'm not sure he believed us. I think it would be really good for him to see you. And I think it would be good for you, too."

"Did you tell him about Shane?" Kim asked, worry clear in her voice.

"No." Kayla shook her head. "He didn't ask about Shane and . . . well, Steve and I didn't think it was our place to tell him about his father. Plus, Shane was still in surgery and. . . ." Kayla's words trailed off, not wanting to give voice to the rest of her thought - that they had not been sure Shane would survive the surgery.

"Thank you," Kim said. "Not that I'm looking forward to telling Andrew about Shane, but it should come from me." She sighed. "I'm just not sure how I'm going to tell him about this. He's been through so much lately."

Marlena put her hand on Kim's shoulder. "You'll know what to say when you see him. Just having you there will be a big comfort to him."

Kim seemed lost in thought for a moment and then slowly nodded her head. "You're right, I guess. I should go and see the kids and get cleaned up. I'm just afraid to leave Shane."

"You know that somebody will contact you immediately if there is any change," Marlena reassured Kim.

"Okay," Kim finally agreed. "I'll go home for a little while."

Kayla breathed a sigh of relief at Kim's agreement. Quickly rising, Kayla walked over to Bo and quietly asked him if he would take Kim home. Kayla did not want Kim to be alone. Bo immediately agreed and walked over to Kim.

Kayla felt a familiar presence behind her and closed her eyes as she felt Steve's arms wrap around her.

"You okay, baby?" he asked, pulling her back to him.

"Yeah," she said. "Marlena and I talked Kim into going to Shane's to see the kids. Bo's going to stay with Kim until she comes back to the hospital."

"That's good, Sweetness." He turned her around to face him. "What about you? Are you ready to go home, too?"

Kayla nodded, but before she could even contemplate the idea, another voice interrupted.

"Sorry, sis, but you can't go home just yet." Kayla turned to find Roman looking at her with an apologetic smile.

Kayla sighed. "I suppose you need my statement."

Roman nodded. "I can put off getting Kim's under the circumstances, but we're getting a lot of pressure to get the whole story. We need to know what happened with Winters."

"Come on, Roman," Steve protested. "This really can't wait until tomorrow?"

Roman shook his head. "I wish it could. I promise I'll be as quick as possible. We can do any follow up questioning tomorrow or the next day, but I need a basic statement tonight."

Steve muttered something about procedure, but Kayla stopped him with a hand on his arm. "It's okay; I understand." She gave Steve a wan smile. "Besides the sooner I get this started, the sooner it's done and we can go home."

Steve nodded, although he was still clearly unhappy. "I'll be right here when you're done, Sweetness." Then he gave Roman a pointed look. "And if you're not done in an hour, I'm coming in to get you."

Kayla stifled a giggle at Roman's eye roll. Usually, the semi-regular stand-offs between her hot-tempered husband and by-the-book brother frustrated her. But right now, it was a wonderful bit of normalcy.

Turning to Steve, Kayla leaned up and kissed him. "Just be good while I'm gone, okay?"

Steve nodded and Kayla turned back to Roman. "Okay, big brother. Let's get this over with."


	329. Chapter 329

Kim stepped through the door into the foyer. She hesitated, not certain if this was right. She felt like she should be back at the hospital. Even if she could not see Shane right now, at least she would be close to him.

But Kayla and Steve were also right. Andrew needed to know she was safe and, to be honest, she needed to see him almost as much. Even if it meant having to tell him that his father was hurt.

Bo stood back by the door. "You want me to wait here?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she replied. "Andrew may need an uncle again." She remembered how Andrew had reacted to Shane's arrest and how Bo and Roman had been such great support. Andrew might need that support when she told him about Shane.

"Mommy!"

Kim spun toward the hall that led to the kitchen and saw Andrew racing toward her. Before she even realized it, she was on her knees and clutching him in a tight embrace. "Oh, sweetie." She pulled back and looked at him. He looked perfect. "I was so worried about you," she said, trying not to break down crying again - this time with tears of relief. Instead, she just hugged him once more.

"You didn't have to worry," Bo said from the doorway. "Andrew's tough."

She looked into her son's eyes and brushed back some of his hair. There was a light in his eyes that reminded her of how Shane looked when he got excited.

"Daddy said he'd find you," Andrew said. "Daddy said not to worry."

Kim smiled sadly. "Your daddy's a smart man. . . ." She started to tell Andrew that they should go to the library, but she was interrupted by Simmons and Jeannie - who was walking on fat, wobbly legs beside him. Kim slapped a hand over her mouth in surprise.

"Jeannie!" She stayed on her knees as Simmons helped Jeannie over. "Oh, sweetie," Kim cried out, pulling her daughter close. She clung to Jeannie so tightly that the baby began to squirm, but Kim barely noticed.

Just that morning, she had faced living the rest of her life never seeing her children again. She had convinced herself that she could live with that, with missing every aspect of her children's lives. Just that thought now tore at her heart.

"Don't cry, Mommy," Andrew said, and Kim realized that, despite her best efforts, her tears were flowing once again.

She reached out and pulled Andrew into her embrace. "I'm just so happy to see you both. I missed you so much." _I missed so much. _"And Jeannie's walking. I'm so sorry I missed it."

"Daddy taped it," Andrew said. He pulled at her hand, smiling. "Come on, I'll show you."

Kim hesitated, not sure what to do. She needed to tell Andrew about his father, but he seemed so excited to show her the tape.

_Let him be happy for a few more minutes_, Kim decided. "Okay, honey. Let's go see the tape." She looked up at Bo. "You okay with this?"

"You do what you have to, Kimber. Take all the time you need," Bo said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Carrying Jeannie, Kim let Andrew drag her into the library. She was surprised to see a television in there, but then figured Shane had moved it to the library so he could follow the news. There was a videotape sitting on top of the VCR, which Andrew grabbed and popped into the machine. Kim settled onto the couch with Jeannie on her lap and waited until Andrew carried the TV and VCR remotes over to her and climbed up beside her.

The screen started off black and then switched to show the library, with Jeannie standing next to Stephanie. Kim could hear Andrew off-screen. "Come on, Jeannie!" he shouted.

A man's hand came into the frame and Kim's heart-rate sped up, but then she realized it was Steve, not Shane. "That's it," Steve said. "Come on, baby."

"That's right, sweetheart."

That was Shane's voice. Now Kim's heart really began to pound as she heard him speak. "Go on, sweetheart," Shane urged. "Go to Uncle Steve."

Tears formed in her eyes. Shane sounded so excited. Then, as she watched, Jeannie took a halting step and then another. She stumbled a little, but stayed upright and managed a few more steps until she reached Steve.

Kim's heart swelled at the sight of her daughter. She squeezed the baby in her lap, so proud. On-screen, Steve cried out, "There you go!" Grinning widely, he lifted Jeannie and swiftly raised her over his head. Off-camera, Shane cheered and Andrew shouted, "Way to go!" In Steve's arms, Jeannie laughed.

The camera began to wobble a little and Kim thought she heard the sound of someone sniffling, but the sound disappeared before she could be certain. On-screen, Steve looked up and Kim caught a look of concern as he set Jeannie down on the floor. She took a few steps back towards Stephanie, who promptly began babbling at her cousin, and then sunk to the floor in a heap.

Steve grinned at the camera, but the smile did not fully reach his eyes. "Looks like the show's over. But I'm sure her mama's going to be proud when she sees that tape. She's got a lot to be proud of." He fell silent, and Kim remembered that he was also facing losing Kayla at the time. She could tell that, in the excitement over the moment, he had forgotten the kidnapping, but the fear and helplessness had returned with a vengeance.

Kim heard Shane's voice again. He sounded utterly certain as he said, "We're going to find them."

_You did, Shane._ She closed her eyes. _You found us._ And as much as she wished it had not happened the way it did, she also was grateful that Shane and Steve had brought her back to her children.

"Mommy?"

Kim opened her eyes to see Andrew looking at her. His eyes were downcast and he was frowning. "Why are you sad?"

Her stomach lurched. She could no longer prolong telling Andrew. Kim reached for the VCR remote, so she could turn off the machine now that the tape had gone dark again. She picked it up, but as she aimed it at the screen, the picture changed again.

_What's going on_? she wondered.

On the screen, the camera was shaking and she saw someone's hand. Shane's hand, she realized. Puzzled, she watched as he seemed to adjust the camera and position it so it was facing him. Then he backed away, and Kim saw that he was holding Jeannie in the crook of one arm.

"Come on, sweetheart," Shane said. He and Jeannie took a seat on the same couch where Kim was now sitting. On the TV, Shane smiled down at the baby, brushed Jeannie's hair, and looked into the camera. Then he spoke.

"Hello, Kimberly."


	330. Chapter 330

After Kayla had left to give her statement to Roman, Steve had joined the rest of the family in the chairs of the waiting area. Here and there, somebody would make a comment or get up to get more coffee, but other than that, the room was largely silent.

In the quiet of the waiting room, Marlena had filled Steve in about Cal's confession of Jeannie's true paternity. Steve could hardly believe it, but apparently Neil had already confirmed the truth with a review of the ultrasound. Steve briefly wondered why Kayla had not told him herself, but he also knew there had been a lot going on since the rescue.

Checking the time for at least the tenth time since Kayla had left with Roman, Steve sighed in frustration. The hour he had allowed Roman had passed and he was tempted to carry out his threat and go pull Kayla out of the room.

"You know Roman isn't going to keep Kayla in there for one minute longer than necessary," Marlena said, glancing over at Steve.

Steve nodded reluctantly. "I know. But Kayla's been through hell and now she's having to relive the whole thing." _And I'm not in there to help her_, he added silently.

"Roman knows that, too," Marlena said. "I know it's difficult, but just be patient. I'm sure she'll be through soon."

_Be patient_. Steve nearly laughed at that.

Marlena must have caught his look because she smiled at him. "I guess that's pretty useless advice, isn't it?"

Steve returned the smile. "Let's just say, it's not one of my stronger suits."

Feeling the need to move around, Steve got up and headed for another round at the coffee stand. Reaching the pot, Steve felt his stomach rebel slightly at the thought of any more of the sludge the hospital was serving at the moment.

Sighing, Steve put the pot back down and turned away. As he did, he spotted a familiar face lurking by the elevators. The figure tried to retreat back into the shadows of the hallway, but it was too late.

_This is all I need_, Steve thought, moving quickly after the figure. As he passed the elevators, he turned left into the corridor, knowing his quarry would not be far away.

"Don't bother pretending you didn't see me," Steve said when he saw his target leaning nonchalantly against the wall.

"Steve!" Jack said, with forced surprise.

Steve shook his head. Some things would never change and clearly his baby brother was one of those things. "What are you doing up here, Jackson? I thought the press was being kept outside."

"It is," Jack replied with a shrug. "But I have a lot of practice getting around this hospital."

"So you thought you would sneak up here and try to get a story?" Steve did not bother to hide his disdain.

"Not exactly." At Steve's raised brow, Jack shrugged. "Okay, sure, I was hoping to get some more information. The hospital and police aren't saying anything."

"Maybe there is a reason for that, Jack."

"Maybe," Jack allowed. "But I'm not just a reporter. I'm your brother. Maybe I wanted to make sure that you and Kayla were okay."

Steve sighed. He knew that Jack's motives may not have been entirely pure, but he also knew that Jack's concern was sincere. "I'm fine, Jack. And so is Kayla."

"She wasn't hurt?" Jack asked, sounding concerned.

"She's fine," Steve repeated, a harder to edge to his voice. Kayla would never be a subject he was comfortable discussing with Jack.

"Good. . . ." Jack seemed to sense he was treading on difficult ground. "I'm glad she's okay. How's . . . uh . . . how is Shane?"

Steve's eye narrowed again. "What's been released to the press?"

"Just that he was shot and underwent surgery." Jack looked at Steve. "Off the record, I promise. I just want to know how he's doing?"

Steve hesitated. He still was not sure he could trust Jack's promises of keeping things off the record, but figured it would not really matter anyway. "He came through the surgery and is in recovery. It's pretty serious. That's really all I know."

Jack nodded. "Thanks. I hope he's going to be okay."

"Me too." Steve felt the guilt take hold again. "If it weren't for Shane. . . ." He stopped.

Jack looked at Steve curiously. "Look, you and I both know that I'd like to know what happened in that hanger. Can you tell me?"

Steve shook his head. "Any information you need should come from the Salem PD."

"But it's not coming from the Salem PD," Jack insisted. "At least not officially."

"What the hell are you talking about, Jack?" Steve asked, unable to decipher his brother's comment.

Jack sighed. "Rachel Knight was outside with the rest of the press. Then she disappeared for a little while. When she came back, she made a point of letting us know that she had inside information for a big story."

"So you want me to give you an inside source, too?" Steve asked.

Jack did not answer. He just looked at Steve for a moment. Then, finally, he nodded. "I'm just trying to do my job. If she's got inside information, her story will be all over the wires first. But if you talk to me, then I've got one of the very few eyewitnesses."

Steve debated giving Jack the story. It was not like he had promised to keep anything about the rescue confidential and maybe Jack deserved a scoop of his own. He had been sincerely sorry for the problems caused by his article about Steve's rescue, and Jack had come through every time Steve had asked since then. But Steve did not feel right talking to Jack without getting the okay from Roman, Kim or, if possible, Shane. Steve felt he had done enough damage talking to Jack in the past. He did not want to do any more now.

"I'm sorry," he finally told Jack. "It's not just my story to tell and, for now, I just can't say anything."

Jack nodded. "I understand." He grinned slightly. "Well, I don't really understand, but I'll try."

"Don't worry, Jack. When it's time to talk, you'll be the first one I talk to."

"Right." Jack turned and began walking back towards the elevators. "You know where to find me when you're ready."

Steve rolled his eye. "Yeah, I think I can track you down." He hesitated, then spoke again. "Hey, Billy Jack. Thanks . . . thanks for your concern about me and Kayla."

Jack grinned awkwardly. "I'm just glad you're both okay. I knew you would find her, though. Like I said, the other day, that's what you do." He face grew more serious. "My brother, the hero."

Before Steve could respond, Jack turned the corner and got on the elevator. _Some hero_, Steve thought to himself as he walked back towards the waiting area.

Reaching the chairs again, Steve was disappointed and frustrated to see that Kayla had still not returned. He immediately started towards the staff lounge, intent on pulling Kayla out of there, regardless of what Roman thought about it.

He was halfway to the door when it opened and Kayla walked out with Roman beside her. She gave a tired smile when she saw Steve, and he strode quickly to her side.

"Are you okay, Sweetness?" he asked when he reached her.

Kayla nodded. "I'm fine." She looked at him, concern in her eyes. "Is there any news about Shane?"

Steve shook his head. "Nothing new. He's still in recovery."

Kayla sighed. "I guess no news is good news then. We'll just have to wait." She took a step towards the waiting area.

Steve glanced at Roman, who responded with an imperceptible nod. "Sis," Roman said, stopping Kayla with a hand on her arm. "Why don't you and Steve go home? You've been through hell the last few days and I think you could use some rest."

"I'm fine," Kayla protested. "You need to stop worrying about me."

"That's not going to happen," Roman said.

"I think Roman's right," Marlena chimed in as she walked towards them. "I know you want to be here to support Shane and Kimberly, but you need to take care of yourself too." She smiled at Kayla and lightened her tone. "Besides, this way you can come back tomorrow and relieve us."

Steve could feel Kayla gearing up for another protest, so he pulled her a couple of steps away. "Sweetness, I know you're worried, but there's nothing we can do here tonight. If anything happens, somebody will call us. We can be back here in a matter of minutes."

Kayla still looked doubtful, but finally nodded in agreement.

"Thank you," Steve whispered, pulling her to him and kissing her forehead. He pulled away and put his arm around her shoulder. "Let's go home."


	331. Chapter 331

"Hello, Kimberly."

Kim felt her breath catch as she heard Shane say her name in his soft accent. _You look tired_, she thought, as she took in the lines around his eyes and the way his hair seemed to be sticking out a bit, like he had not combed it in a few days. It then dawned on her that Shane was wearing the same jacket and dress shirt that he was wearing when she had seen him lying on the floor of Cal's hideout.

_This was just today or last night._

The thought brought home how suddenly everything had changed. Not that many hours ago, Shane had been cheering Jeannie's first steps. Now he was fighting for his life.

She studied his face again. Despite his worn and somewhat disheveled appearance, he was still so handsome. And there was a brilliance in his eyes as he began to speak. He seemed so alive, a thought that caused Kim's chest to ache.

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

Kim jumped in surprise, suddenly remembering that Andrew was sitting on the couch next to her. She quickly grabbed the remote and hit the pause button. She had to watch the tape, but she had no idea if she could hold herself together. Kim did not want Andrew to see her break down again.

"Andrew, sweetie. . . . Can you go to the kitchen and tell Simmons that I said you could have a cookie?"

Andrew gave her a confused look, but dutifully got up and headed out of the room. Kim took a couple of deep breaths and, steeling herself, clicked the play button on the remote so the tape began to run again.

"As you probably saw, we had a very exciting night tonight," Shane said. He glanced down at Jeannie and smiled. "Courtesy of this very smart and beautiful little girl. But then, of course, that's hardly a surprise given her mother."

As he talked, Jeannie looked up at him as if transfixed. Shane responded by taking her little hand in his and smiling down at her. Then he looked back at the camera.

"I'm not really sure exactly what I should say to you." He paused as he seemed to think for a moment. "I'm a fool. . . . I was stupid. . . . How's that for starters?" Shane sighed audibly. "I was scared, Kim. No, that's not quite right. I was bloody terrified. . . . That morning . . . all I could think about was how scared I was. The night before. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off and he looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know how to describe it, but it was like you could reach parts of me so deep. It probably sounds cliche, but I felt you could see my soul. Silly, I know."

"It doesn't sound silly to me," Kim whispered back at the screen.

"So I was terrified," Shane continued. He stopped talking as Jeannie twisted against his arm and babbled something. "Just a little longer, sweetheart," he said to her. Shane shifted her on his lap and wiggled some fingers in front of her face, causing her to laugh. For a moment, Shane watched her, his expression turning pensive, and then he turned back to the camera. He spoke slowly, constantly hesitating, as if he were struggling to find the right words.

"I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know, Kim . . . but for the longest time - after I thought Emma died - I shut down my emotions." He paused. "And then you broke through the walls I'd built and, for a time . . . I knew a happiness and a love that I spent a lifetime thinking couldn't truly exist." A small smile played on Shane's lips before it faded. "But when you left for Los Angeles. . . . I swore I would never expose myself like that again. I told . . . well, it doesn't matter who I told . . . It's just, after you left, I decided that emotions made me weak. So I built those walls back up." Shane closed his eyes for a moment. "And in one fell swoop the other night, just like that, you tore them down again." He opened his eyes and Kim detected a bit of a flush in Shane's cheeks. "That night was wonderful, but then all I could think about was 'what if she leaves again'? 'What's going to happen if she walks away?' I decided I couldn't face that possibility."

On-screen, Shane shifted uncomfortably. "You were right. I was a coward, and I wasn't willing to trust our love - to trust you. I hope you can forgive me for that, because it's not a mistake I'm going to make again."

Kim shook her head. _I want to believe that_, _Shane_, she thought. _I want to believe that with all my heart._

Again Shane stopped, as Jeannie distracted him. "Just a little longer," he repeated before he looked back into the camera. "I think I'm running out of time here." He grinned a little, then grew somber. "I know, after what happened the other day . . . you may not believe me. You may just think I'm saying things because you're gone, and this is just some temporary change of mind and it doesn't matter, because I can promise the moon when I think you may never come home. . . . That's not what this is, Kim. I swear it's not. This is real."

"See. . . . " Shane's voice trailed off for a moment. "I know we're going to find you and Kayla. I'll admit that I've had my moments of doubt, but I promised Jeannie and Andrew that you'll be home and it's going to happen."

"See, Mommy!"

Kim jumped in her seat, then turned around to see Andrew in the library doorway. He was holding a half-eaten cookie and had crumbs on his cheeks.

"See," he repeated, walking toward her. "Daddy promised."

"So he did." Kim smiled at her son. "Daddy did promise."

_But at what cost_? she added silently. Then she realized that she had not stopped the tape this time and Shane was still talking on-screen. He was looking down at Jeannie, apparently responding to something she had done, but she just caught the tail end of it. "-worry about." He hugged Jeannie close to him before setting her back on his lap and looking again at the camera. "I know I'm going to have a devil of a time convincing you this is sincere, but let me try. Please give me a chance to try." Shane pursed his lips, as if he were thinking, and then his eyes widened slightly. "Hey, maybe this will help. . . . Um . . . I made a decision the other day. Actually, it was the day you walked out, before I found out you were missing. You see, Kim, I told Mickey to accept the deal. I told him I'll plead guilty."

Kim gasped audibly.

"So I'll be a traitor," Shane said with a shrug. "That's going to be hard for me to get used to, I know. It goes against so much I believe. . . ." Shane looked down at Jeannie again, then back at the camera with a determined look in his eyes. "But that doesn't matter. It's more important that I'll be able to come home to you and our children. So if letting the world think I'm a traitor will bring me home faster, so be it. I can live with that." Shane looked up at the ceiling. "Three years. It'll be hard being away. I know that'll be hard for you too, and for the kids, but when that's over, we'll be a family again."

Shane fell silent for a moment and looked down at Jeannie again. "Which brings me to something else. I told you that I would put Cal behind us, but . . . well, there was one part of that that I never confronted. I've spent the past year blaming Jeannie for Cal, pushing her away and convincing myself that I could never care about her. Stupid, isn't it?" He squeezed Jeannie's hand a little. "For the longest time, I couldn't see past who I thought her father was. . . . But Cal's not her father, Kim."

If Kim had been surprised before, she was even more shocked now. _How_? _How did Shane find out_?

"I mean, I know, biologically, she's his, but I don't care about that. I look at her, and all I can see is you. She has your eyes and your smile. But even if that weren't so, it wouldn't matter." Shane looked back up at the camera, and Kim could see that his eyes were glistening. "I think you named Jeannie after my mother for a reason. There's a bond there. I don't know where it comes from or why . . . maybe it's just that she's the daughter of the woman I love more than life itself-"

Kim felt her stomach turn over at Shane's choice of words.

"Jeannie's my daughter, Kim. I don't care what anyone says." He looked back down at Jeannie and smiled at her. She lifted her eyes in response and smiled back at him. "That's right, sweetheart. You're my daughter. Jeannie Donovan. And Daddy's going to be here for you, I promise."

Kim could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. She tried to fight back a sob, but it escaped. _He didn't know what would happen. He promised he would be there for her, but he may have already broken that promise. _Kim felt the room spinning and she hit the pause button on the tape once more.

"Mommy?"

She turned to Andrew, who was looking at her with a big frown on his face. "Why are you sad? Daddy said we're going to be together. In England."

"He told you that?" Kim asked. When Andrew nodded solemnly, Kim choked back another sob. There was no way to put this off any longer. She took a few deep breaths and tried to compose herself. "Andrew," she said, trying to find the right words. "Something happened to Daddy."

Andrew's eyes widened. "Did the bad men come back?"

"No, honey," Kim said. "You know how Daddy promised to find me and Aunt Kayla? He did that. It's just that. . . . he was hurt, sweetie. Hurt very badly."

She let that sink in for a moment, before Andrew asked, "Is Daddy going to die again?"

"I . . . I don't know, sweetie." Kim found herself unable to lie. "We just don't know. He's in the hospital now and the doctors are doing everything they can."

Andrew looked down and whispered, "I don't want Daddy to die."

"I know you don't." Kim's her tears started again. "I don't want him to either." She reached out and pulled Andrew into a hug. He had been through so much the past few months. She held both her children in a tight grip. "We just have to pray for Daddy," she said. Silently, she looked a the paused television screen, where Shane was staring back at her, and pray was exactly what she did.

_Come on, Shane. You have to pull through._ Kim looked down at Andrew and Jeannie in her arms. _Your children need you._


	332. Chapter 332

Kayla breathed a sigh of relief as she entered the apartment. Steve was behind her, carrying Stephanie, who had fallen asleep in the car on the way home.

Turning on the lights, Kayla took in the familiar surroundings. Everything was just as she had left it the morning before the kidnapping. Well, not exactly everything. She could see the dining room table was set for an intimate dinner. There also was an unfamiliar odor in the air.

"Phew!" Steve said, apparently smelling the same thing she did. His eye widened and a guilty looked crossed his face. "I'm sorry, baby. I haven't been back here since . . . well, since Shane called me the night we found Kim's car."

Kayla looked again at the table and remembered that had been the day Steve had successfully neutralized Tarrington and the ISA. It seemed like months ago, not just a few days.

"Looks like you had a fancy dinner planned." Kayla said with regret. "I'm sorry I missed it."

Steve just nodded at her. Looking down at his sleeping daughter, he said, "Why don't you put this little girl to bed while I clean things up in the kitchen? I'll have everything taken care of by the time you get done."

"All right." Kayla took Stephanie from Steve. Before she headed for Stephanie's bedroom, Steve leaned down, kissed his daughter, and gave Kayla a peck on the cheek.

Kayla smiled and took Stephanie to her bedroom. Small children were amazing, she thought as she managed to get Stephanie changed and into her pajamas without her ever fully waking up.

Once Stephanie was ready for bed, Kayla picked her up and began to carry her to the crib. But instead of putting her in the crib, Kayla sat down in the rocker and began to rock slowly. Her eyes never left her daughter's face.

As much as she tried to push the thoughts aside, Kayla could not stop herself from remembering the moment when Cal had held the gun to her head after the car crash. She had been so certain that Cal was going to pull the trigger.

In that moment, it was not her life that had flashed before her eyes. It had been Stephanie's. Kayla had seen Stephanie's first day of school, the day she learned to ride her bike, her first date, her high school graduation - each moment as clear as day. And, in each moment, she had seen Steve proudly beside his daughter.

And her mother dead and gone.

Kayla felt the tears spring to her eyes and fought back a sob. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself that the nightmare was over. Cal was dead. She was home with her family. Her daughter was in her arms. Her husband was . . . cleaning the kitchen.

That thought brought a smile to Kayla's face. Who would have ever believed that rough-and-tumble Steven Earl Johnson would be so domestic?

_I would have_, she thought. Early in their relationship, before it could even be called a relationship, he had shown her brief glimpses of the tender and caring man inside the "Patch" persona he had hid behind. It was in those brief glimpses that she had seen the man she would fall in love with - the man who would be the father of her children.

It had taken a long time for that man to fully emerge, but when he had, their life together had been everything she had dreamed it would be - until it had been taken away from them. And, just when she thought she had gotten it back, it had almost been taken away from them again.

_Will we ever just be allowed to live our lives_? _Haven't we earned a little peace_?

Kayla did not know the answer to that question and, if she were honest, probably did not want to know. Sometimes, it seemed she and Steve were fated to never be without a crisis to manage. _Maybe that's the trade off_, she thought absently. They received a true and lasting love, but it was always being tested in some way.

Those never-ending tests could be exhausting and overwhelming, but as Kayla looked down at her sleeping daughter, she knew that she would endure every single one if the alternative meant not having Steve and Stephanie. If changing even one thing about her life would mean that she would not have them, she would do every single thing over again the exact same way.

For a moment, the familiar twinge of guilt returned. Shane could still die because of one of those tests, so how could she say she wouldn't change anything? She shook her head. It was too complex a question to figure out right now. All she knew was what she felt - that Steve and Stephanie were worth all that she, herself, had been through to get here.

Sighing, Kayla realized that Steve was probably waiting for her by now. Carefully rising from the chair, Kayla gently placed her daughter in the crib. She lingered a moment longer, softly stroked Stephanie's hair, and then placed a tender kiss on her cheek.

With one last look back, Kayla left Stephanie's room and pulled the door partially closed. She started walking towards the living room, but as she passed their bedroom she spotted the light on and heard the water running in the bathroom.

She guessed that Steve must have gotten tired waiting for her and had decided to shower instead. Feeling unsettled, Kayla continued down the hallway and made her way to the kitchen. True to his word, it was spotless. The odor of spoiled food had been replaced by air freshener and several candles around the apartment.

Pulling a glass from the cupboard, Kayla poured herself a glass of water and walked back into the living room. Hearing a noise behind her, she turned quickly to find Steve walking into the room. He was wearing jeans and pulling a t-shirt over his still-wet hair.

"Hey, Sweetness," he said with a smile. "Stephanie get to bed all right?"

"Yeah." Kayla returned the smile. "I don't think she ever woke up." She gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry I took so long. I . . . I just needed a little time with her."

"I understand, baby." Walking to her, he took her hand and led her to the couch. He sat down and gently pulled him down beside him.

Kayla winced slightly as she sat, still feeling the lingering effects of her cracked rip.

"You okay, Sweetness?" Steve asked, concern on his face. "Do you want one of those pain pills that Neil gave you?"

Kayla shook her head. "I'm fine." She noted the skeptical look on Steve's face. "Really, I'm okay. It's just going to be a little sore for a while." Steve still did not look convinced, so she said, "I'll take one before I go to sleep." That seemed to work, because Steve offered no further argument. Instead, he put his arm around her and pulled her close.

They sat in silence for a few moments and then Steve shifted so he could look at Kayla. "I . . . I was. . . ."

"What?" Kayla could not read his expression.

Steve sighed. "I know it's been a long day, but I was just wondering if you could tell me what happened after the car wreck. What happened after Cal took you and Kimberly?"

Kayla froze at Steve's question. It had taken all of her strength to relive the events of the kidnapping and aftermath with Roman just a couple of hours before. She did not think she could do it again.

"Kayla?" Steve looked at her, a question in his eyes.

Shaking her head, Kayla avoided his eyes and placed her head on his chest. "I know you have questions, but I just don't want to talk about it right now. Can you understand that?"

Steve was quiet for a moment, then said, "All right, baby. If that's what you want, it can wait."

"Thank you," she said gratefully. She took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. Then she remembered something she had promised they would talk about later. Lifting her head, she looked at him. "There is something we need to talk about though."

"What's that?" Steve asked curiously.

"At the hospital, when Pop called you a hero, I could see that bothered you." Kayla held Steve's gaze. "Why?"

Steve dropped his gaze at Kayla's question. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek in her hand and forced him to look at her. "Tell me."

Steve took a deep breath. "What's bothering me is that it's my fault that Shane's in that hospital right now."

"Why do you think it's your fault?" Kayla asked, maintaining a neutral tone.

"Because I walked into Winters' trap. If had waited . . . If I had been more careful . . . If I-"

"Stop." Kayla cut him off. "You told me you went in, because you thought Cal was headed to the back, right?" At Steve's nod, she continued. "You were right. Shane was at the door, trying to pick the lock, and he heard someone coming." She looked directly in Steve's eye. "Cal was heading for the back and Shane could have been trapped."

"I still should have been more careful," Steve said. "I didn't even stop to think that he might have a trap set. And if I had, Shane wouldn't have had to come save me - again." Kayla didn't miss the bitterness in Steve's voice.

"You didn't know that." Kayla's voice was firm again, then she felt her own guilt break through. "Besides . . . I'm more to blame than you are."

Steve's eye widened in surprise at that remark. "What are you talking about, baby? You're not to blame at all."

Kayla shook her head sadly. "I wish that were true. But when I heard you scream, I . . . I kind of lost it. Shane was trying to get the door open to get Kim and me free, but I begged him to go help you." She stood from the couch and walked to the other side of the room. "I didn't care that he might be walking into the same trap. I just wanted him to help you." Kayla thought about what she had said to Shane - "You didn't save him just to let him die now." It was like she had played him, knowing he felt some duty to her.

_But what else was I supposed to do_?

"I couldn't lose you again. I-" Kayla's voice caught on a sob.

She felt Steve's strong arms wrap around her again. "Don't, Sweetness," he said tenderly. "You didn't force Shane to do anything. Even if you hadn't said a thing, you know he'd have come to help me." He pulled back and tilted Kayla's chin up so she would meet his eye. "Don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault."

Kayla nodded and buried her face in Steve's chest, trying to control her emotions. They all seemed so mixed up, and she could not seem to find her equilibrium. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of fear, guilt, relief, sadness, worry, and love.

After a few minutes, Steve pulled back again. "I think it's time to put you to bed, baby." Bending slightly at the knees, he picked her up effortlessly and began walking towards their bedroom. Kayla closed her eyes and just melted back into Steve's arms. As long as he was holding her, maybe she could stay afloat a little longer.


	333. Chapter 333

After spending some more time with Andrew and trying to reassure him that, no matter what happened to his father, she would not be going anywhere, Kim finally went upstairs, showered and changed into some clean clothes. She made a point to dress comfortably; she had no intention of leaving the hospital until she knew if Shane would pull through.

_At least they haven't called me here_, she thought. That was a comforting thought.

Staring into the bathroom mirror, Kim looked at herself and was startled by the image of the woman staring back at her. She could see the effects of the past several days - the tension and sleeplessness had left visible lines around her eyes and her skin was drawn taught from the stress. Should she be surprised? After what she had been through, it was a wonder she could even recognize herself.

And apart from the physical strain, her emotions were in turmoil. Her mind kept replaying the video, and she wanted to believe it. Her heart wanted to believe Shane had changed, but her head kept doubting. And with those doubts came the guilt. How could she doubt Shane when he was fighting for his life? He needed her to believe in him.

Kim took a deep breath and finished getting ready. The last thing she did is pick up the cameo that she had placed beside the sink, held it to her lips, and said yet another small prayer. Then she added, "I'm hanging on to this, Shane. I won't let it go."

Heading downstairs, Kim ran into Simmons, who was with Andrew and Jeannie. He told her that Steve and Kayla had stopped by briefly to pick up Stephanie. That was good. At least one Brady family was together again.

"Madame," Simmons began his question. "I assume there is a large contingent of Bradys at the hospital right now?" When she nodded, Simmons said, "Perhaps I'll prepare some sandwiches and coffee, and have them brought over. I expect that would be far better than the rubbish they must serve over there."

Kim debated telling him that maybe he should just take some time off and be a family member, not a servant, but she knew that would only make Simmons uncomfortable. Simmons was a lot like Shane, always wanting to do something rather than be forced to wait around. And she knew this was extremely hard for him, remembering how he had often talked about Shane as a child. So she did not bother to dissuade him.

"I don't know how many Bradys are at the hospital right now, but there were family and friends there. . . ."

"And I'm not going anywhere," Bo said, stepping into the foyer.

Kim rolled her eyes. "You'd better make double then." She immediately felt guilty for teasing Bo. Neither Bo nor Simmons seemed to mind, though. She gave Simmons a soft smile. "I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Simmons gave his typical nod, but the concern and fear were still visible in his eyes "Thank you, Madame."

A moment later, Bo helped her into a coat and they headed for his car. "I hope he doesn't make any of those cucumber ones." At Kim's shocked look, Bo shrugged. "Nobody likes them. This is America after all."

"Bo!" Kim could not hold back her shock.

"What? I'm just telling the truth. Or are you going to tell me you like cucumber sandwiches?"

Kim answered before she thought. "No, I don't like-"_ What am I doing_? "Stop it. This isn't the time for jokes," she said, shaking her head.

Bo said nothing. They reached the car and Bo held the door for her. Then he went around and climbed inside. "There's nothing wrong with making a joke, Kimber. It doesn't mean I'm not worried."

Kim reached over and squeezed Bo's hand as he grasped the parking brake. "I know. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in myself that I forget the rest of you love Shane too." Shane had been part of their lives for a long time. When they thought Roman had died, Shane had become something of a surrogate older brother to Bo. If Shane died, it would be like losing a brother, and Bo had suffered enough losses in his life already.

"He's going to be okay," Bo said, putting the car in gear. "You know the Gov'nor. He'll be okay."

They drove in silence back to the hospital. When they arrived, Kim quickly found Marcus, who reported that Shane's condition was unchanged. She nearly screamed when Marcus said Shane could not have visitors yet.

So Kim sat in the waiting area for another few hours, Bo, her parents, and Marlena by her side. Roman appeared periodically, as he moved back and forth between his roles as worried friend and police commander. At some point, a platter of sandwiches arrived, along with a brown bag with Bo's name on it. Kim burst out laughing when Bo pulled out two cucumber sandwiches, complete with crusts removed.

"You should fire that butler," Bo mumbled good-naturedly. Then he broke into a grin. "Or . . . you could give him a raise," he said as he pulled out another sandwich, this one a hero stuffed with too many different kinds of meat for Kim to identify.

Kim appreciated the brief moment of levity amidst the stress. Other than that, though, they mainly sat in silence or spoke in hushed voices. The television in the corner aired the late-night news. Kim could hardly believe it was so late, and only then did it hit her how many hours Shane had spent in surgery. Still, they waited. Eventually, her parents and Marlena went home, while Bo remained with her.

Around 2 a.m., Carly appeared in the doorway. Kim looked up expectantly as Carly said, "We've just moved him to a spot in ICU where you can see him."

"So his vitals are stabilized?" Bo asked.

Carly nodded, "They're stable enough for visitors. It's still. . . . still too early to know."

_To know if Shane will live_. Kim understood. "Can I see him?"

Carly took her hand and led her toward the ICU. Bo followed. "One at a time," she cautioned, as they reached the ICU unit.

"Take all the time you need," Bo told Kim. "You're the only one he needs."

Kim hesitated as she reached the opening of the ICU area. But she took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Her hand immediately shot up to cover her mouth as she let out a shocked gasp.

Shane had been hurt before, even shot, but she had never seen him like this. He was hooked up to a half-dozen machines. Several IVs snaked out of his arms and chest, and a larger tube covered his mouth. Her eyes followed that tube as it ran to the ventilator that was keeping Shane's lungs working. As she got closer, she saw that most of his chest was swathed in bandages, and she wondered how much damage they covered.

But despite partly being obscured by the breathing tube, most of Shane's face was visible. And for the moment, he looked like he was sleeping peacefully. His eyes were closed and, though he was pale, the signs of strain Kim had seen on the video were not evident.

Some of his dark curls had dropped low over his forehead and Kim could not help herself. Standing over him, she tenderly brushed the hair back, then caressed his cheek. Quietly, as if afraid to wake him - a silly thought she realized immediately after - she took a seat in the chair next to his bed, reached over the rail, and took his hand. She wanted so much for him to open his eyes and look at her, but he remained motionless.

"Shane." She squeezed his hand, as if the extra pressure would make him hear her better. "Shane . . . I'm right here.

"I don't know if you can hear me," she said. "You have to hang on and be strong, Shane. You have so much to live for." She struggled for a moment with what to say next, still feeling those doubts she could not put behind her. "I saw the tape, you know, the one with you and Jeannie. And there's nothing more that I want. I want to believe we'll have that future as a family."

She thought about their children, then raised his hand and brought it to her cheek. "We have a wonderful family. When I saw you with Jeannie . . . you knew the truth in your heart, I think, even with all the lies." She sighed. "But I should have told you everything through that door. Cal told me the truth. Jeannie's your daughter, Shane, not Cal's, and you've never had a chance to hold her knowing that. I hurt you so much by keeping that secret and it wasn't even true. It broke us apart and it was never even true. How different would everything have been if we had known the truth? I would never have lied and you would never have pushed me away. How much time did we lose to that lie?"

Kim knew she was beginning to sound angry, so she took a few deep breaths, steadying herself. "In the end, though, it didn't matter. I think you knew the truth in your heart, and I know what you said on that tape and what you told Kayla. You said you love me and . . . I love you. I love you more than it's possible to love someone, more than life itself. . . ." Kim could not help herself from saying the truth. "I want to believe in that love, Shane. I want to believe we're going to have that future. After what we've been through, we should have that."

Her doubts were beginning to come through, so she fell silent for a moment. She watched Shane, hoping - praying - for some response, but there was nothing. The only sounds in the room were the steady beeping of some monitors and the rhythmic whooshing of the ventilator.

"At the very least, we deserve the chance to try to rebuild. The love is there. I have no doubts about that." Kim leaned forward, kissed his hand, and blinked back her tears. "I promise you. . . . I won't give up on that love without giving it a chance. So don't you give up on it. We have a chance again, a chance to love each other and be together, and you just can't give up."

Still holding Shane's hand, Kim rested her head against the rail and fixed her eyes on Shane's face. The sounds of the machines were almost hypnotic, and she felt her eyelids growing heavy. She tried to fight against the exhaustion overtaking her, but it was futile effort. And as she gave in, she murmured over and over, "Don't give up, my love. Don't give up."


	334. Chapter 334

"Steve! Steve!"

Steve jerked up from the chair to see Kayla sitting up in the bed, her blue eyes staring dazedly at him. She had tossed and turned most of the night, despite the pain pill he had convinced her to take before they went to bed. Unable to sleep himself after all that had happened, Steve had sat and watched her. He was still trying to convince himself that she was really there.

"I'm here, Sweetness," he said quickly as he leaned close and brushed some of her hair back from her forehead.

"The-then. . . ." she stammered slightly. "It wasn't a dream." Her eyes widened and he could see the fear and confusion as she remembered the events of the previous days.

"Shhh. You're okay now, baby. I'm here. You're safe."

Kayla reached out her hand and touched his cheek. "Are you all right? I . . . I remember you screaming in pain."

Steve smiled slightly at that. It was so like Kayla to worry about him first. He took her hand in his and kissed it. "I'm fine, baby. Remember, Neil checked me out."

Kayla's eyes cleared as she seemed to finally get her bearings. "That's right," she said slowly. Then her eyes widened again. "Shane . . . he was shot. He-"

"Shane's fine, baby," Steve said, trying to soothe her. "Marcus and Carly worked on him and he came through the surgery. He's going to be fine." Steve hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. He knew that it was still touch-and-go.

Kayla took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillow. "Sorry, it's just all so confusing for some reason. I was dreaming and. . . ." She stopped.

"What were you dreaming about, Sweetness?" Steve continued to hold her hand.

Kayla shook her head. "It doesn't matter, I guess. It was just a dream." She tried to smile. "I guess that pain pill was more powerful than I thought."

Steve's eye narrowed as he looked closely at Kayla. He could tell she was holding something back from him. "Tell me about your dream, Kayla. What happened?" He was not going to let her hide this from him.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kayla said, turning away from him slightly. "Like I said, it was just a dream."

Steve sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to do. Even in the dark, he could see Kayla trembling. Steve realized that what had happened with Winters had left more than a cut on her forehead and a cracked rib. Kayla was always so strong, but right now she was terrified.

He moved from the chair and perched on the edge of the bed. Still careful about jarring her rib, he tenderly lifted her up, so that her head rested against his chest, and put his arms around her. She remained like that for a long time until the trembling ceased.

"I know how you feel, baby," he whispered while stroking her hair. "I know how scary it is to talk about those dreams. But you're the one who taught me that you can't hold it all in. Just tell me about your dream."

Kayla was silent for a long moment and Steve was not sure if he had gotten through to her. Then he felt her body start to shake as she began to cry softly. "Cal had a gun to my head and told me he was going to kill me. He said I'd never see you or Stephanie again. I was begging him to let me go, but all I could feel was the gun." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "And then I heard you screaming. I wanted to go to you. but Cal still had the gun on me. He was laughing . . . it was this horrible sound . . . and then I heard a gunshot . . . I guess that's when I woke up."

Steve's heart broke as he listened to his wife's words. He felt a cold rage rush over him, knowing that the threats she described from her nightmare had undoubtedly been real. At that moment, he almost wished that Winters was still alive. _Then I could kill him myself._

He pushed that thought aside. Kayla was clinging to him like she was drowning. She needed him right now and his anger was not going to help her. For her, he shoved the rage away and pulled her closer, almost smothering her in his embrace.

"It's okay, baby. It's going to be all right. You're safe now and nobody will ever hurt you. I promise you, Sweetness. I'll never let anybody hurt you."

Her hand now gripped the side of his waist and he felt her heartbeat pounding against his chest. Steve took a deep breath. He had promised her that nothing would come between them anymore, and he was going to do whatever was necessary to keep that promise. Still holding her tight, he murmured his love to her, ran his hands up her back, breathed deeply, and tried to project a calm that he did not quite feel.

It seemed to work. After what seemed like an eternity, Kayla finally spoke. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Steve shook his head. "Don't apologize, baby. Just tell me what I can do to help you."

Kayla smiled slightly. "You're already doing it. Just being here and holding me is helping. I . . . I just need you here with me."

He reached a hand up and brushed back her hair. "I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'll always be here with you."

She looked up at him and he saw the fear and sadness still in her blue eyes. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead and then softly kissed her lips. He began to pull back, but felt her hand at the back of his head as she pulled him down into a strong, hard kiss. When they pulled apart, she looked up again. This time, the need in her eyes was plain.

"Make love to me, Steve," she said, her voice urgent. Before he could respond, she jerked his head forward again. Their lips met once more. This time, she forced her tongue past his lips and she held on, continuing the bruising kiss until Steve had to break away and gasp for breath.

Kayla was breathing hard, her eyes shining with desperation. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it free of his jeans and ran her hand roughly over his chest.

Steve moaned. Kayla was here, with him, and Steve desperately wanted to give her what she wanted. His hands caressed her through the fabric of her nightgown. They continued to kiss, hard and passionate, the fire stoking with each touch. Unconsciously, he lifted his arms and helped her pull the shirt over his head, before another forceful kiss.

"I need you," Kayla breathed as they broke away. She ran her hands down his chest and began fumbling at the buttons on his jeans. Steve groaned in anticipation.

_What am I doing_? The thought cut through the haze of desire. _Not like this_.

Steve understood what she wanted. He had been there himself not that long ago. She wanted to push the pain and fear away just for a short time, wanted to hide the terror behind an act of love. Her pain and fear would feed off his own anger - and the fear from the past few days that he still had not let go. Their emotions would fuel an intense passion that would race through them. But it would be an act of desperation, hard and fast, more concerned with the physical than the emotional.

That was not what Kayla needed. She needed to be safe. She needed to be loved - slowly and delicately. And, if he were honest, it was not what he needed either. He needed to show her the same love she had always shown him when he had been overcome by his fears.

Kayla had managed to undo the top button of his jeans, but he took her hands and lifted them up. Slowly, he kissed her right hand, then lifted her left hand to his mouth and kissed it as well.

"Slowly, baby," he whispered. "Let me love you. Let me show you how much I love you."

The desperation was still there and she pulled one of her hands free and started for his pants again.

"Sweetness," Steve said softly. "Trust me. . . . Not like that. Please, baby, let me love you."

Kayla hesitated and she looked down at her hand on the waistband of Steve's jeans and then back up into his eyes. She swallowed nervously. "I do trust you. I just-"

"I know, baby." Steve stopped her words with a kiss, tender and slow, as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close, his deliberate kisses continued for a long time, before he slowly moved his lips to her neck. Kayla let out a soft moan and he felt her body relax against him.

"That's right, baby," Steve breathed, as he carefully lowered her to the bed. "Let me love you."

Slowly and gently, he caressed her. He did not push and took care to avoid her painful ribs. He let Kayla take the lead when she wanted. With each touch, he felt Kayla's passion building even as her body grew even more relaxed. Steve felt his own emotions swirling. He was taking away her fear and pain and replacing them with all of the love in his heart. His movements were practiced, touches that he knew would calm and arouse - what only he could give her, because he was the only man who knew her body and soul so well.

In the midst of his own arousal and passion, he felt awed. And guilty. She was everything he ever wanted and he had almost lost her. He would never take her for granted again. Every minute they had together, Steve would take it as the gift it was.

As they moved together, the passion building to a climax, Steve stared into her shining eyes and saw that the fear was gone. All he could see was complete trust and love.

And when it was over, they lay there, still entwined, their chests heaving. Kayla's body seemed to completely mold against his and she murmured, "I love you, Steve."

"I love you too, Sweetness." More than anything.

Careful of her ribs, Steve gathered Kayla's nearly limp body in his arms, lifted her off of him, and gently placed her on the bed beside him. He nuzzled her cheek, kissed her softly, and murmured comforting, loving words. Kayla snuggled against him and laid her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as her breathing grew even, signaling her return to a peaceful slumber.

As his body finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had built for days, Steve vowed that he would never let Kayla be hurt like this again. No one would ever make her feel as scared as she had been tonight. He would protect her, no matter what the cost.


	335. Chapter 335

"I'll never leave you," Shane whispered in Kim's ear as he lowered her to their bed. "I love you, Kimberly. I could never leave you."

Kim melted at his touch. As they continued to kiss and caress, she lost track of words, the only sounds registering were the murmurs and soft moans of their love-making. His every touch was electric.

"I love you, Kim," he breathed, words once again coming through. "My beautiful Kimberly. . . ." He continued to whisper her name. "Kim . . . Kim. . . ."

"Kim."

She jerked awake at the voice, realizing it was not Shane's. Suddenly, she was no longer in their bedroom but in the ICU, next to Shane's bed and surrounded by the monitors. Kim spun around to see Marcus just inside the entrance.

"I'm sorry to wake you," he said. "I have to run a few tests."

Still a little disoriented from being awoken from the dream, it took Kim a moment to understand. She looked back at the bed, where Shane looked exactly the same as he had before she had dozed off.

"Kim?"

"Of course," Kim said, getting up from her chair. "I didn't mean to get in your way."

Marcus gave her a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about it."

Kim stretched a little, as she felt the effects of sitting in hospital chairs all night. "What time is it?"

"A little after 8," Marcus said. "I just came back on duty." He picked up Shane's chart from the end of the bed and looked it over.

After a few minutes, Kim asked, "Is there anything new?"

"Not that I can tell from this," Marcus replied. "I'll know more when I run the tests." He put an arm around her and escorted her to the door. "Why don't you go get something to eat? There are some cinnamon buns in the waiting room that I think Simmons sent over. Of course, with the way the folks in this place descend on free food, there may not be any left by now."

Kim chuckled a little, but the last thing she wanted to do was eat. As Kim stepped out of the ICU, she shook her head. She was not going anywhere until she received Marcus' report, so she began to pace outside the ICU entrance. She was still pacing a few minutes later when Marlena exited the elevator and walked over to her.

"How are you doing?" Marlena asked.

Kim's shrugged a little. "Marcus is running some tests. Maybe we'll get some news."

Marlena nodded and they both waited a bit more until Marcus stepped through the door.

"Marcus?" Kim knew she sounded anxious.

He shook his head. "There's no real change, Kim."

"So you don't know when he'll wake up?" she asked.

Marcus hesitated, and Kim knew what he was thinking. He had no idea if Shane would wake up at all. "I wish I could tell you something, Kim. We just have to wait - and pray. We're doing everything we can for him."

"I know." Kim tried to make that sound as appreciative as she intended. "I guess it's just the strain of not knowing."

She saw Marcus give Marlena a quick look, and then Marlena said, "Kim, let's go to the cafeteria."

"I'm not hungry," Kim insisted. And she did not appreciate Marlena's look of pity. "I'm just going to wait here. Shane needs me here."

Marlena put a hand on her shoulder. "You could use a change of scenery. Just for a few minutes and then we'll come back."

Kim wanted to protest some more, but Marlena was already steering her toward the elevator. Then, as they passed by the nurses' station, Kim caught a glimpse of the front page of the Chronicle sitting on the counter.

"_Police Suspicious Over Donovan Shooting: Authorities Question Donovan-Winters Connection._"

"What?" Kim grabbed the paper, and was not surprised to see the byline - "By Rachel Knight." Angrily, she growled, "I'm going to find that witch. . . ."

"Don't let it get to you," Marlena said.

Kim waved the paper in front of her. "But did you see this?"

"I did," Marlena replied. "And I know it's not true. It's just a lot of garbage. Just ignore it."

But Kim could not do that. She needed to see what Rachel Knight had written, so she began to read. That only made her blood boil. The article described how Cal had a history of working with rogue ISA agents and then said "authorities were asking if this was another of those instances." Reading further, it cited "anonymous sources" who said that it "appeared" that Steve had uncovered Cal's location and had rescued her and Kayla, but "Donovan's role in the incident is unclear." She shook her head in frustration as she read the last line aloud.

"'Some officials. . . .' Notice she doesn't say who they are. . . . 'Some officials think Donovan's shooting may have occurred during an argument with Winters, who was then killed by Johnson.'" Lowering the paper, Kim shook her head. "I can't believe this."

Marlena sighed. "Come on, Kim. Nobody's going to believe that. It's all speculation. None of it's fact."

"Maybe, but I think I need to talk to Steve. We need to set the record straight." Suddenly, it dawned on Kim what was going on. "It's Tarrington," she said. "He can't let Shane appear to be a hero or it will hurt the ISA's case. I . . . I can't believe it. Shane could be dying because he rescued us, and all the ISA can think about is spreading lies that destroy his reputation."

"I'm sorry," Marlena said. "If anybody knows what the ISA can do to innocent people, it's me."

Kim tossed aside the paper. "I know. I'm just spitting mad right now. It's a good thing Tarrington isn't here right now, because I would give him a piece of my mind."

Marlena took Kim's hand. "Look . . . right now, all you need to focus on is Shane getting better. Don't think about the ISA or the press. None of that matters."

_She's right_, Kim thought. _None of that matters if Shane doesn't pull through_.

"Come on," Marlena said, pulling Kim toward the elevator. "The sooner we get something downstairs, the sooner you can come back and see Shane."


	336. Chapter 336

Steve would have preferred that Kayla sleep some more, but she was having none of it. She was dressed and ready to head back to the hospital within 10 minutes of waking up, so Steve gave in. He called Jamie to take care of Stephanie and they ate breakfast while waiting for the babysitter.

As they ate, Steve skimmed the Spectator. Jack's article said very little about the rescue and Shane's shooting. It mainly reported the details that the hospital and Salem PD had released. Not that Steve had told him much more, but it was nice to see that his off-the-record comments did not appear in the paper.

Steve did notice that there was a quote from the prosecutor in Shane's case saying that the government was "evaluating the situation" to decide if Shane's shooting would have any impact on the case. _Damn straight it should_, Steve thought. _They should dump the damn charges_.

Setting aside the paper, Steve studied Kayla. She only picked at a muffin and seemed to be having trouble sitting still. "You okay?" he asked, thinking about the night before and how desperate she had seemed. "Your rib hurting?"

"I'm okay," she said. "I took some Tylenol."

"You sure?"

Kayla nodded. "I'm fine. I just want to get back to the hospital and see if there's any word on Shane. I want to be there for Kimmie."

Steve wondered if there was more to it, but he set the thought aside. He was glad that Kayla and Kim seemed to have mended fences. _I guess being kidnapped by a maniac brings people together._

Finally, Jamie arrived and they headed for the hospital. Kayla had her employee pass, so they did not have to beg the guards to be let into the employee parking lot this time. Steve was glad, because there was still a throng of reporters in front of the building.

At the front desk, they were told that Shane was in the ICU, so they took the elevator to that floor. Steve was surprised not to see any family members there. But he spotted Marcus, who was reviewing some files and munching on a cinnamon roll.

"Hey, homey," Steve said. "How's he doing?"

Marcus shrugged. "Not really much change. He's still unconscious, but we got his vitals stabilized enough last night that we could move him here. I just wish he would wake up."

"Can he have visitors?" Steve asked.

Marcus nodded. "Kim spent most of the night in there. It's just one at a time."

"So Kimmie's inside?" Kayla asked.

Marcus shook his head. "Marlena dragged her to the cafeteria for a change of scenery." Marcus held up the pastry in his hand. "Not that it's better than the food we've got here. Apparently, Shane's butler started sending stuff over last night and he sent some more this morning. I don't think the staff's eaten this well since . . . well, ever."

Steve chuckled a little at the thought. Simmons was probably just trying to keep busy.

"Anyway. . . ." Marcus returned to the subject. "It's good for Kim to get away for a little bit. I'm just hoping someone can convince her to get some rest. After what she went through, she needs more than a few hours dozing in a hospital chair. I doubt she's had a decent sleep since Winters kidnapped her." It must have dawned on Marcus what he had just said, because he looked at Kayla. "How about you? You holding up okay?"

Kayla nodded, though Steve knew she had barely slept either. "I'm fine. It'll be a lot better when I know Shane will pull through."

"That's my tough girl," Steve said, putting an arm around her. Despite his slightly teasing tone, he meant every word. She might appear soft, but his wife was made of steel. What she had been through since his "death" had proven it beyond measure. Steve squeezed her shoulder, then said, "Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and check on your sister?"

"What about you?" Kayla asked.

Steve shifted a little uncomfortably. "I . . . I've got something I want to say to Shane."

Kayla's eyes narrowed. "You sure?"

"Yeah, baby. This is something I need to do." With his free hand, Steve touched her cheek. "Let me see Shane, okay?"

"Okay," Kayla said. "I'll go see if I can find Kim."

Steve watched her walk away, glad she was leaving. Steve was not one for true confessions, and did not really want Kayla overhearing. He slipped through the entrance into the ICU unit and saw that there was nobody by Shane's bed.

Walking closer, Steve remembered just how much he hated hospitals. All the machines and tubes. Steve just could not handle the sight of seeing someone close to death. And it was hard not to look at Shane, lying so still in the hospital bed, and not think of him that way.

"Hey, Captain," Steve said, not really sure why he chose to call Shane that. He certainly did not use the tone he usually used when he referred to Shane by his title. Then Steve started to sit in the chair next to the bed, but decided against it. He fell silent for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts, before he spoke again.

"I don't really know what I'm gonna say. Usually, you see the people on TV talking to the guy in the hospital and it all comes out so perfect. But this is real life, isn't it? And I'm not exactly primetime material, am I?"

He looked at the machines, the squiggles running across some of them, the blinking lights on others.

"I made a real mess of things, didn't I? Not waiting for your signal and all."

Steve began to pace a bit and shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "I always pegged you as someone who was a lot of words, you know, all fancy talk and ideas, but not a lot of action. Yeah, that's stupid when you think of how you beat the crap out of me the first time we had a run-in and then you shot me the second time. I should've given you more credit for that. Instead, I just told myself that you talked a lot, and where I come from, words never meant much."

He sighed and shook his head. "What you did with Winters . . . that wasn't words. That was all action, and yours said everything. You didn't have to put yourself out like that. You could've let Winters kill me, and then taken him out. There's no reason you had to jump in front of that bullet for me."

Stopping, Steve looked at the bed. He was not sure what he was expecting. It was stupid to think Shane would respond. Shane remained still and all Steve could hear was the beeping from one of the machines and the sound of the ventilator.

"You could've let me die," Steve continued. "After everything that's happened, I can't say I'd have blamed you. But you couldn't do that, could you? No, you had to go play the damn hero, and nearly get yourself killed, and that makes it even worse." He looked down at the bed. "And that wasn't even the first time. You could've left me in Alamain's hellhole. Kayla never would've had to know, but you didn't, did you? You saved me that time, too. And what did I do? I acted like you were the enemy. You were just being yourself - a good dude out to protect everyone, and I couldn't see that because I was so damn angry about everything. And I couldn't blame myself, so I blamed you for what happened with Kayla. I should've been thanking you for making sure she and Stephanie were safe and protected. . . ." Steve could not bring himself to add "and loved" so he fell silent again.

"And what did I do? I got you arrested and then shot." Steve shook his head. "Some way of repaying you, isn't it?"

He stopped pacing and put a hand on the rail next to the bed. "You listen to me, Donovan. I owe you, dude. For saving my life from Winters. For saving me from that camp. For protecting my wife and daughter. That's a lot of debt to be repaid, and I'm going to find a way to pay you back. I don't know what it'll take, but screw the ISA and I don't give a damn about Egypt or politics. This is family, dude, and you're not going anywhere. I'm gonna make sure of that."

Steve heard a noise behind him and turned quickly to see that Roman was talking with a nurse by the ICU entrance.

"I guess it's time for me to take off," Steve said. "But I hope you heard me. I've going to repay that debt I owe you. So, damn you, don't you dare die before I get my chance to pay it back." He started for the exit, but stopped, turned back to Shane's bed once more, and said, "You got that? Don't you die."


	337. Chapter 337

Kayla entered the hospital cafeteria and scanned the room. It was mostly empty at this time of day, and it only took a few seconds to spot Kim and Marlena sitting at a table in the corner. Even at a distance, Kayla could see the worry and exhaustion on Kim's face as she picked at the plate in front of her.

Walking towards the table, Kayla flashed back to the days she spent waiting by Steve's bedside after the boat explosion. She knew exactly what Kim was feeling right now - the fear, the frustration, and even a little anger.

Kayla's footsteps slowed as her memories overtook her. She had spent hours praying that Steve would just wake up and then he finally had. And for a brief moment, Kayla had believed they had dodged yet another bullet.

_But we didn't dodge anything at all, did we_?

"Kayla!" Marlena's voice jarred Kayla from her thoughts. She looked up to see Marlena waving her over.

Picking up her pace, Kayla quickly reached the table. She leaned down, hugged Kim, and took a seat next to her sister.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, taking Kim's hand.

Kim offered a wan smile. "I'm hanging in there, I guess." She looked around. "Where's Steve? I'm surprised he let you out of his sight."

Kayla smiled at her sister's words. "Yeah, I think he's going to be hovering for a while. Not that I mind too much." Her expression grew serious. "He's actually with Shane at the moment. He . . . he said he had something he needed to say."

Kim's eyes widened at that, but she just nodded and began picking at her food again. Kayla shared a glance with Marlena and then saw the copy of the Chronicle sitting on the table.

Reaching out, she picked it up and began reading. Her anger grew with every word she read. She could not believe that somebody, even Rachel Knight, was trying to make it sound like Shane had been working with Cal.

Tossing the paper back down, she snarled, "I can't believe the nerve of that. . . ." Kayla took a breath to calm herself. "That whole article is a bunch of trash."

"We know," Marlena said evenly. "And so does anybody who knows Shane."

"I'm sorry," Kayla said, trying to put her anger aside. "I know that stupid article doesn't mean anything right now. All that matters is that Shane is going to be okay." She looked Kim in the eye. "And he is going to be okay."

"That's right," Marlena chimed in. "Shane's got too much to live for to give up now." She smiled at Kim. "He's got you and the kids to come home to."

Kim nodded, but still did not say anything. Kayla remembered how empty her family's words of encouragement had sounded when Steve had been hurt. She desperately wished she had something she could say to help Kim, but Kayla knew the only thing that would really help would be if Shane recovered. Nonetheless, she echoed Marlena's words.

"Marlena's right," she said firmly. "Shane won't leave you and his children. You just have to hold on to that."

Kim raised her head at Kayla's words, a question in her eyes. "But Shane doesn't even know Jeannie is his daughter." Her eyes widened. "Unless you told him." Her voice rose with excitement. "Did you tell him, Kay? When you were in that room with him?"

Kayla felt guilt come crashing down on her, knowing she was going to have to disappoint her sister. She shook her head and said, "No, Kim. I didn't tell him. I . . . I never really had the chance."

"Oh," Kim said, her disappointment evident. "I just thought that if he knew . . ." Her voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry," Kayla replied. "It was all just so crazy in there. . . . Shane wasn't conscious really, until just before. . . ." Kayla tried not to remember that moment when she thought Shane had died. "He was desperate to tell me what to say to you. . . ." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter, I should have found a way to tell him. I'm sorry."

"No, Kay," Kim said, shaking her head. "You were trying to keep him alive. I understand." She sighed. "I just wish he knew, that's all. I wish I would have told him when he was at the door. I wish . . . I wish that I'd been smart enough to get confirmation of the ultrasound." Tears began to form in Kim's eyes.

"That's not your fault, Kim." Kayla put her arm around Kim's shoulders.

"I know you keep saying that, but it sure feels that way," Kim said bitterly. "So much pain and anger that could have been prevented."

"Don't think about that right now, Kim." Marlena's voice was calm and soothing as always. "All that matters is the truth is out now and Shane can get to know his daughter."

Kim nodded, but Kayla could tell it was not going to be that easy for Kim to put Cal's lies behind her. She could only hope that time would heal those wounds too.


	338. Chapter 338

Kim sat silently, picked at her food, and listened to Kayla and Marlena chat about Roman and Marlena's plans to go to San Cristobal to try and recover her memories. Even without looking up, Kim could tell that they were both watching her carefully. After a few moments, she could no longer stand the scrutiny, so she dropped her fork and pushed her chair away from the table.

"I should get back to ICU and check on Shane," she said as she stood up.

"Wait." Kayla quickly reached for Kim's hand.

"Kay. . . ." Kim tried to keep the frustration out of her voice. "I know you're worried about me, but I'm okay. I had some food, I took a break, and I really need to get back and be with Shane."

"I know." Kayla gave Kim a sympathetic look. "I'm not trying to keep you from him. It's just that Steve said he'd meet me down here when he was done talking to Shane. I . . . I just want to give Steve a chance to say what he needs to say."

Kim's irritation quickly left her and she sat back down in her chair. "I'm sorry. I guess I forgot about that."

"It's okay." Kayla smiled. "I understand how you feel." The smile faded from Kayla's face. "When Steve was in the hospital, I didn't want to leave him for a second."

Kim just nodded. Her sister really did understand.

Apparently sensing the need to change the subject, Marlena turned to Kim and asked, "How are Andrew and Jeannie? I bet they were thrilled to see you last night."

"Almost as happy as I was to see them," Kim said, thinking back to her reunion with her children. She turned to Kayla. "Jeannie's walking now."

"Really?" Kayla smiled broadly. "That's wonderful. I remember watching Stephanie take those first steps-" She stopped abruptly, a chagrined look on her face. "I'm sorry, Kim . . . I . . . I wasn't thinking."

Kim shook her head. "It's okay. I actually got to see them. Shane videotaped them." She smiled at Kayla. "With a little help from Steve and Andrew."

Although Kayla continued to smile, Kim could not read the expression on her sister's face. Kayla seemed to be lost in a memory or a moment of some sort. After a few seconds, Kayla looked up and caught Kim's look. "Sorry. I . . . it doesn't matter." She shook her head slightly. "I'm glad you got to see the tape."

"Yeah." Kim laughed slightly. "You know the most surprising part of the whole thing?"

Kayla shook her head.

"Seeing Shane and Steve together with all the kids," Kim said with a smile. "Steve was helping Jeannie and Andrew was cheering her on with Stephanie. And I could hear Shane talking on the videotape." Her voice grew softer and quieter. "I guess some things changed while we were gone."

"I guess so," Kayla replied.

Looking up, Kim spotted Steve in the doorway of the cafeteria. He was scanning the room, clearly looking for them. Waving at him, she told the others, "Steve's here."

When Steve reached the table, he leaned over and gave Kayla a kiss on the cheek. Kim could not help but watch through the corner of her eye as Steve and Kayla exchanged a few quiet words before Steve stood up. Kim fought to squelch the envy she felt, but then she reminded herself that Steve and Kayla had gone through hell to get to where they were now.

"What the hell is this?" Steve snarled, picking up the copy of the Chronicle that Kayla had tossed down earlier.

Kim sighed as Steve alternated between reading the article and cursing Rachel Knight, the ISA, and anybody else he could think of. When he had finished, both Kayla and Marlena tried to reassure him that nobody who knew Shane would believe a word of the article.

"This must have been what Jack was talking about," Steve growled as he tossed the paper back down.

"What do you mean?" Kim spoke for the first time since Steve had seen the article.

"Jack snuck upstairs last night and I caught him," Steve explained. "He said that Rachel Knight was bragging about having the full story from some 'inside sources.'" Steve shook his head. "Jack wanted me to tell him what happened, but I wouldn't do it."

"Why not?" Marlena asked.

Steve chuckled humorlessly. "Because I figured running my mouth off to my baby brother had already caused enough trouble. I didn't want to talk to him until I had a chance to discuss it with Kim . . . and Shane." He paused for a moment. "I guess keeping my mouth shut caused even more trouble this time."

"This isn't your fault," Kayla said quickly. "You couldn't know what the story would be."

"Maybe not, baby, but I'm damn well going to make sure this gets fixed." Steve's anger had clearly not abated one bit.

"What are you going to do?" Kim asked, suspecting she knew the answer.

"I'm calling Jack and telling him to get his rear over here for a little sit down with all of us." Steve stopped suddenly and his voice lost its harsh tone as he looked at Kim. "That is, if you are okay with that?"

"I was actually thinking of something along those lines, but wanted to talk to you about it," Kim said.

"Good." Steve turned to Kayla. "How about you, Sweetness? Are you okay with this?"

Kayla looked surprised at the question. "I . . . I guess. If that's what you think we should do."

Kim could hear the hesitation in Kayla's voice, but set it aside for the moment. "Okay then. Why don't you call Jack, Steve and I'll go check on Shane. You can come get me when Jack arrives."

"Actually, when I left Shane's room, Marcus was getting ready to run a few more tests," Steve said. "He told me to tell you that it would be a little longer before you could see Shane again."

Kim sighed, frustrated at the delay. "Well, then I guess you'd better call Jack and get him over here as quickly as possible. I seem to have some more time on my hands."

"If I know my brother, he's probably just outside the building in that swarm of reporters, but I'll check with Vern first." Steve started to make his way to the phone at the far end of the cafeteria.

"Wait," Kim called after him. Steve stopped and Kim walked quickly to him.

"Thank you for wanting to help get the truth out," Kim said.

Steve gave her a curious look. "You don't have to thank me for that."

"Maybe not, but I do need to apologize to you."

"For what?" Steve asked.

Kim took a deep breath. "For how I acted. I was really angry when Shane got arrested, and I said a lot of things to you - and to Kayla - that I shouldn't have said. I know that you never intended for that to happen, and I know that you've been trying to fix it ever since."

Steve shook his head. "It's okay. I understand. I can't even blame you for thinking I did it intentionally."

"It's not okay," Kim replied. "But thank you for understanding."

Steve nodded and resumed his walk to the phones. Kim returned to the table, sat down, and exchanged a small smile with Kayla. Somehow, despite all that had happened, the fractured relationships seemed to be healing. And as she prepared to wait for Jack's arrival, Kim said a quiet prayer that Shane would do the same.


	339. Chapter 339

As Steve walked away from Kim, he had to shake his head a bit. An apology from Kim was the last thing he had expected under the circumstances. But he had to admit to himself that, deserved or not, it was nice to know that Kim did not blame him.

Reaching the phones, Steve dropped a coin in the slot and called the Spectator office. As expected, Vern said that Jack was at the hospital, waiting for more information about Shane's condition. Sighing, Steve thanked Vern and hung up.

Walking back to the table, Steve noticed that Marlena was no longer with Kim and Kayla. The two sisters were sitting quietly, Kayla's arm around Kim's shoulders. Steve was again thankful to see the rift he had caused between the two was being repaired.

"Is Jack on his way?" Kim asked as Steve reached the table.

"I guess he's already here," Steve replied. "Vern says he's downstairs with the rest of the wolves. I'm going to go down and get him."

Kim nodded and Steve turned to Kayla. "I'll be right back, Sweetness. Try to keep your sister from climbing the walls while I'm gone." That earned Steve a small smile and nod. He kissed Kayla on the cheek and headed to find Jack.

As he rode the elevator down to the first floor, Steve tried to set aside his worry about Kayla. Despite her best efforts to hide it, it was clear that her ordeal with Cal had taken its toll. Hopefully, time would allow her to recover, but Steve vowed to keep a close eye on her until she was back to her old self.

When the doors opened, Steve stepped off the elevator and looked around. Due to the cold temperatures, the hospital had relented and allowed the reporters to wait inside the building, but had cordoned them off in a corner away from the main doors.

Walking towards the pack, he spotted Jack, who was leaning against the wall and jotting something in his little notebook. As Steve approached, another reporter noticed and leaped to his feet.

"Mr. Johnson, what can you tell us about Captain Donovan's association with Cal Winters?"

Steve ignored the man's shout and the ones that quickly followed from the other reporters. Instead he focused on Jack.

"Jack," he called out, trying to be heard over the roar of questions.

Jack worked his way through the throng, earning himself some dirty looks. When he finally reached the edge of the crowd, he said, "Yeah?"

"I need to come with me right now." Steve grinned slightly. "I promise it'll be worth your time."

Jack's face lit up and he quickly worked his way through the temporary barrier the hospital had set up. The other reporters began complaining about preferential treatment and freedom of the press, but Steve just rolled his eye.

When Jack finally reached his side, Steve turned to the rest of the pack and smiled his best smile. "Sorry everybody, but this is family business. And you people definitely aren't my family." He turned to his brother. "Let's go, Billy Jack. There are some people that want to talk to you."

Within a few minutes, Steve and Jack reached the cafeteria. Steve had ignored Jack's questions in the elevator until Jack had gotten the hint and shut up. When they entered the cafeteria, Steve just pointed to the table where Kim and Kayla were sitting.

As Steve and Jack approached the table, Kim and Kayla stood and walked to meet them. "I thought it might be better if we did this somewhere more private," Kayla said. "So I told Kim we could use my office."

Steve nodded. "Good idea, Sweetness. Let's go."

In silence, the four of them made their way to Kayla's office. Steve kept his arm around Kayla's waist while Kim walked on the other side of him. Jack trailed a step behind. When they reached Kayla's office, she unlocked the door and they entered.

Once inside, Kayla walked to her phone and picked it up. Steve was puzzled until he realized she was calling the nurses' desk at the ICU to let them know where to find Kim.

After Kayla hung up, they all sat down in chairs around Kayla's desk. Jack shifted uncomfortably. "So . . . uh . . . why did you want to see me?"

"I assume you saw the article in the Chronicle this morning?" Kim's tone clearly indicated what she thought of the article.

"Yeah, I saw it," Jack said. "I take it that you disagree with it?"

Steve scoffed. "What's to disagree with? Except that the entire thing is complete bull-" He stopped himself. "Just a bunch of lies."

"That's why we wanted to talk to you, Jack," Kim said quietly. "We were hoping you could get the real story out."

"Absolutely, but . . ." Jack paused.

"But what?" Steve asked, his eye narrowing.

"But why me?" Jack looked at Kim. "I know you don't like me all that much right now. You could have given this story to anybody."

Kim looked at Steve who just shrugged. Then she said, "You're right. I'm not very happy with you right now, but no matter what else is going on, I trust you to print the true story. I can't say that for anybody else."

"All right. I'll take that." Jack pulled out a tape recorder from his jacket. "Let's get started."

Steve leaned back and listened as Kim described the lead-up to the kidnapping and how Cal had run her car off the road. As she described how Cal had killed Mike and tried to kill Andrew, Steve felt his blood begin to boil yet again. But his anger was quickly replaced by concern as he watched Kayla. Her face had grown pale and he could see her begin to tremble.

"Are you okay, baby?" he whispered, as he leaned over and took her hand. She nodded, but Steve could see that she was upset. Scooting his chair closer, he put his arm around her and pulled her as close as the chairs would allow.

". . . Andrew had run away, Cal was so angry," Kim was saying. "He put the gun to Kayla's head and threatened to kill her right there."

Steve's grip tightened around Kayla as he heard Kim's words. He had known that Kayla's nightmare the previous night was more than just some wild fantasy brought on by pain medication.

Feeling Kayla still trembling beside him, Steve tried to keep his temper under control while Kim continued her story. A cold chill ran through him as he realized just how close he had come to losing Kayla that night.

Soon Kim reached the point where she and Kayla had been taken to the hanger. Kim briefly described how Cal had kept them there because he had "unfinished business" to take care of and then mentioned that Cal had changed his mind and had decided to leave that morning they were rescued. Steve had the definite feeling that Kim had skipped over some things, but knew she must have had a reason for doing so.

". . . and then we heard Shane at the door of the room, trying to pick the lock." Kim looked at Steve. "I guess you know that part of the story better than I do."

Steve nodded and began speaking, his arm still around Kayla's shoulders. He told Jack about the lead they had gotten, although he was light on the details of how they had gotten it. Then, much as he had with Roman the previous night, he recounted the events after they reached the airfield, culminating with the exchange of gunshots between Cal and Shane.

". . . so, I wouldn't be sitting here if Shane hadn't pushed me out of the way and taken that bullet," Steve finished, unable to look at Kim. "And anybody who thinks that Shane was working with Cal in any way needs to have their head examined."

Jack nodded, but did not speak as he was frantically taking notes. When he finally looked up, he said, "I just have a few follow-up questions. You're not going to like some of them, but I have to ask."

Steve gave a short nod.

Jack took a deep breath. "I know you said that Shane couldn't have been working with Cal, but do you have any other evidence of that besides the final confrontation?"

Steve's eye narrowed, but he took a moment and thought about Jack's question. "It's kind of hard to prove that something didn't happen, isn't it? All I know is that I was with the guy pretty much nonstop for days, and there is no way he was in contact with Cal Winters at any point during that time."

"Not to mention that Shane and Cal hated each other," Kim said quietly. "Cal tried to kill Shane several times before he was arrested the first time."

That was a good point, Steve thought, then remembered something else. "One more thing. Cal was behind the attack on the school and some other threats to Kim and Andrew before Shane was even arrested. After Kim and Kayla were taken, Shane beat himself up about not checking on Cal in prison. He blamed himself for not realizing Cal had escaped. That's not how someone would act if they knew Cal was out, would they?"

True." Jack nodded again. "Good, that's exactly what I needed to know." Then he turned and asked Kim a few questions about their captivity. Kim answered them, but again Steve could tell she was leaving something out. From the expression on Jack's face, he sensed it as well, but seemed to accept Kim's answers.

Finally, Jack turned to Kayla. "Uhh . . . Kayla?" He hesitated.

"What is it, Jack?" she asked, her voice soft and quiet.

"I . . . I noticed that you haven't said anything and I just wondered . . . that is, I wanted to know if you had anything to say or add."

Kayla glanced at Kim and then at Steve. Steve smiled encouragingly. "Go ahead, baby. If you've got something to say, say it."

She was quiet for a moment, as if thinking about it, but then Kayla just shook her head. "I don't really have anything to say. Kim told you what happened. But I do know this: There is no possibility that Shane was working with Cal."

Jack nodded again and made a few more notes. Then he turned off the recorder, gathered his notebook, and stood up. "I'm going straight back to the office to write this story. I'm going to put it on the front page of a special evening edition and again on the morning paper tomorrow. It should get picked up by the wires immediately."

"Thank you, Jack." Kim offered a tired smile.

"No, I should be thanking you," Jack replied. "This is going to be a huge story for the Spectator-" He stopped and looked down. "Sorry . . . that's the publisher in me speaking." He looked back up at Steve, Kim, and Kayla. "Thank you for trusting me to tell the real story."

With another nod, Jack headed for the door and then paused. "I really hope that Shane is going to be okay, Kim. Jennifer and I are pulling for him. I hope you know that."

Kim nodded and Steve could see tears in the corners of her eyes. "I do," she said sincerely. Jack gave a small smile and left the room, leaving Kim, Kayla, and Steve alone.

"Well, I'm glad that's over," Kim said, slowly standing. "I really need to get back up to ICU to check on Shane."

Before she could step towards the door, there was a knock. Kayla frowned slightly, as if she was confused, before she called out, "Come in!"

The door opened and Marcus walked in, a serious expression on his face.

"Marcus," Kim whispered. Then in a louder voice, she asked, "What is it? Did something happen?"

Steve stood and moved closer to Kim. Kayla did the same. They both must have sensed that Kim was going to need their support.

"What is it, homey?" Steve asked the question even though he dreaded the answer.

Marcus looked at the three of them. "I ran some tests this morning and, after I got the results, I ran them again, because I wanted to be sure. That's why it took so long."

"Sure of what?" Kayla asked, a tremor in her voice. "Just tell us what happened."

"Kim. . . . The trauma and the blood loss. . . . It was too much for Shane's body."

"No," Kim breathed, shaking her head. "No."

Marcus raised his hands. "Hold on," he said calmly. "Shane's still alive. It's just his body's shut down. . . . He's in a coma, Kim, a deep coma."

Kim seemed to take a moment to process the news. She took a few deep breaths and then said, "Okay. . . . He was in a coma before - that time I shot him by accident - so he'll be okay, right?"

Marcus looked stricken. "I'm sorry, Kim. I . . . I just don't know. I mean I don't know when - or if - Shane will ever regain consciousness. But you should prepare yourself. Shane may never wake up."

"No," Kim said sharply. "I don't care what your tests say. Shane is going to wake up."

"Kim-" Kayla started to speak.

"No!" Kim repeated loudly, her voice breaking. "Don't say it Kay. Don't say it. Shane is going to wake up. He is."

This time Kayla just nodded and pulled her sister into her arms. As Steve stood helplessly beside them, he looked at Marcus and silently pleaded with him to say something else.

Marcus turned his head and their eyes met. Then, with a sad look in his eyes, Marcus just shook his head and walked back out the door.


	340. Chapter 340

Lawrence tried not to laugh as he entered the attorney conference room of the prison. His new lawyer, Julian Huntington III, was the best money could buy and had practically guaranteed that Lawrence would be paroled at his hearing. But Lawrence barely noticed the man in the $1,000 suit; he was focused more on his associate, the man with short, blond curly hair and a thick Eastern European accent.

"Ivan," Lawrence said, his tone slightly bemused. "I don't recall you going to law school."

"This is rather irregular, Mr. Alamain," Huntington said. "Having a non-lawyer in here means that what we say loses the attorney-client privilege."

Lawrence turned to look at the lawyer. "Considering I am only in here because the government illegally recorded communications between myself and my attorney, I give very little credence to your sacred privilege." He sniffed haughtily. "Besides, you're getting your $700 an hour regardless."

The lawyer's mouth opened, but then closed without saying a word.

"So now that we have that settled. . . . Why don't you say your peace and then leave me and your 'associate' to handle the rest of our business?"

Huntington grew a bit uncomfortable. "Mr. Alamain-"

"You heard me, Mr. Huntington. I am paying the bills and, therefore, I am in charge. I hope that you understand that a bit more that your predecessor. Maurice Marchand never fully understood." Lawrence paused for effect. "Such a terrible tragedy to befall him."

Swallowing quickly. Huntington motioned to the conference table. He waited for Lawrence to sit before doing so himself. Ivan took a seat at the end of the table, but said nothing.

"I assume we're here to discuss my parole hearing." Lawrence doubted anything the lawyer had to say would make a difference in the outcome. If Ivan had done his job, Lawrence could have a trained monkey appear on his behalf and he would still be paroled. Still, Lawrence had an image to uphold, so what was a few thousand dollars spent on the best criminal attorney in America?

Huntington began to speak. He explained the parole hearing procedures and who would be sitting on Lawrence's panel. Huntington advised Lawrence to expect Jennifer Deveraux at the hearing, as might others who could make allegations about Lawrence's past.

"It is possible, given some rumors, that the parole board might hear from Alice Horton, Carly Manning, Kimberly Brady, and Steve Johnson-"

"I can't imagine what Mr. Johnson would say," Lawrence said. "I don't even know the man."

Huntington nodded. "Perhaps. . . . It's possible his wife may also appear. I had some worries that Francois Von Leuschner might show up and claim he was held captive in your home, but he is currently in Africa."

"How fortunate for me," Lawrence said.

"I don't think we need to worry about the Bradys and the Johnsons." That came from Ivan. "They seem rather preoccupied at the moment."

Lawrence tried not to smirk. He had seen the newspapers. "Yes, it appears that the timing of Captain Donovan's shooting had been quite fortuitous." At Huntington's shocked expression, Lawrence raised an eyebrow. "Oh, please. . . . As if you have never benefitted from the misfortunate of an adversary. Now what else do I need to know for my hearing?"

"The most important thing, Mr. Alamain, is to be contrite. Tell the panel that you regret your actions and will not repeat them."

Lawrence pursed his lips. "I guess I could do that. I do regret that what was a private, intimate moment between husband and wife because such a public affair."

"I meant you need to apologize for ra-"

"I understood what you meant," Larence snapped. "Do you take me for some kind of imbecile, Mr. Huntington?"

Huntington looked scared for a moment before meekly saying, "Of course not."

"That's right." Lawrence looked at Ivan, then back at the attorney. "And, now, I believe I have heard enough. I must tend to other matters with Ivan."

The room fell silent. Huntington remained in his seat.

_Are all Americans this dense_? Lawrence wondered.

"Alone, Mr. Huntington," he said sharply.

"Oh. . . ." Apparently unable to think of anything coherent to say, the lawyer stood up and exited the room. Lawrence waited until the door closed and remained silent for another minute.

"Report, Ivan.

Lawrence sat patiently as Ivan detailed the status of the toxin. Things were still moving too slowly, but Lawrence would handle that as soon as he was freed. "And our friend, ex-Captain Donovan?"

Ivan detailed what he could tell about Cal Winters' death and the shooting.

"Everyone else is okay?" Lawrence asked.

Ivan nodded. He knew what Lawrence was truly asking. "I have seen police reports, sir, and it appears that Winters did not . . . take any liberties with Miss Brady and Mrs. Johnson."

Lawrence hardly cared about Kayla, but he was glad to hear about Kimberly. "Very well. Have the police determined how Winters escaped?" Lawrence chose his words carefully in case the room was bugged. "I mean, what an appalling breach of security for a convicted kidnapper to escape for so long without notice."

"Yes, it is." Ivan played along. "As I understand matters, the prison warden covered up the escape. The warden has since disappeared, though." Ivan frowned at that last bit of information. "Unfortunately, nobody knows where he might be."

That news concerned Lawrence. If the authorities found the warden, he might reveal that Maurice Marchand arranged for Winters' escape. And that might raise suspicions about Lawrence's involvement.

Of course, by the time anyone figured that out, Lawrence would be halfway around the world, enjoying his mountain villa. So Lawrence set aside his concern.

At the end of the conference table, Ivan cleared his throat.

"Yes, Ivan? Go ahead."

"There is the matter of. . . ." Ivan lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "Captain Donovan."

"Don't be so quiet, Ivan," Lawrence said loudly. "Despite my past conflicts with the good Captain, even I see how difficult it must be for his family. What can you tell me about his condition?"

Ivan shrugged. "Very little. The hospital is keeping very quiet, just saying his condition is 'critical.' But I did speak with a nurse who told me he has not regained consciousness." Lawrence wondered how much that little conversation must have cost him, but did not ask, because Ivan continued. "I understand that he is in a coma."

Lawrence mulled that over for a moment.

"Sir. . . ." Ivan glanced sideways at the door and lowered his voice again. "We do have some doctor friends at University Hospital. Perhaps they could assist Captain Donovan in a manner similar to how they helped one of our . . . friends in the past."

Ivan meant Steve Johnson, of course. Lawrence thought a little. Doing the same thing to Donovan was tempting.

Tempting, but unnecessary. His revenge required Shane Donovan alive.

Lawrence had his plans for Donovan and they did not involve him "dying" at University Hospital. Besides, it was too premature to take him. Lawrence needed to wait until the toxin was more advanced.

"No, Ivan, I think Captain Donovan is probably receiving excellent care from his own doctors," Lawrence said. "I am sure there is no need for our assistance." Lawrence then paused and gave Ivan a knowing look. "Perhaps when he has recovered a little, we will see if we can assist. I'm thinking . . . perhaps in December."


	341. Chapter 341

Kayla walked slowly down the hall towards the intensive care unit. This area of the hospital was quiet, reserved for patients in critical and serious condition and the entire floor operated in hushed tones that matched the seriousness of the injuries and illnesses the staff was charged with treating.

Nodding politely at the orderly manning the entry to the ICU, Kayla pushed the button that opened the automated doors and made her way towards Shane's room.

She knew she was taking advantage of her staff privileges, because patients in ICU were usually restricted to one visitor at a time. But she had been making this trip for the last couple of days and nobody had said anything yet. She doubted anyone would. Shane was a major benefactor of the hospital and Kim was an employee like Kayla and Marlena. That meant that Shane was family to University Hospital and the entire staff would treat him - and the people around him - as such.

Reaching Shane's room - not really a room, more of a curtained off area - Kayla peeked around the curtain that provided some small measure of privacy. She saw her sister sitting quietly in the chair beside Shane's bed, just as she had been for the last two days.

Standing just outside the room, Kayla's practiced nurse's eye took in Shane's condition. He was still attached to the ventilator and the breathing tube obscured part of his face. He had IV lines running into both arms and she could see the edge of the chest tube on the opposite side of the bed. A blanket was pulled up to just above his waist, leaving his bandaged chest exposed.

Remembering the gunshot wound and the treatment in the emergency room, Kayla knew that the bandages covered a long row of stitches that ran down the center of his chest.

Focusing on Shane's face, Kayla was glad to see that his color had mostly returned. The blood he had been given to replenish the massive amounts he had lost seemed to have finally done its job. But that was the only good sign Kayla could see. Shane's eyes were closed, and there was no sign that he was regaining consciousness.

As she watched, Kim reached up, took Shane's hand, and pressed it to her cheek. "I know you want to wake up," Kim said softly, stroking his hand. "You just need to open those beautiful eyes and come back to me."

"He will," Kayla said, finally stepping into the room.

"I know." Kim turned and gave her sister a tired smile. "It's just a matter of time, that's all."

Kayla nodded, hoping Kim was right. She once again found her nurse's knowledge at war with her heart. The professional side of her knew that Shane's injuries had been severe, that he had lost a lot of blood, and that it had taken time to get his heart restarted. All of those factors made some kind of brain damage a distinct possibility.

Yet, her heart would not consider the possibility that Shane might not wake up. For Kim's sake, for the children's sake, for Shane's sake, Kayla could not imagine him remaining in that hospital bed forever.

"So . . . anything new today?" Kayla asked as she stepped to Kim's side.

Kim shook her head. "Marcus says his wounds are healing well, but. . . ." Her voice trailed off.

Kayla looked closely at her sister, and saw the dark circles around her eyes and the lines on her face. It was obvious that Kim was exhausted.

"Did you stay here all night again?"

Kim refused to meet Kayla's eyes, but nodded. "I went home for a few hours in the evening to have dinner with the kids and put them to bed. But I just couldn't stay in that house without Shane."

Kayla sighed. "I understand how you feel, Kim, but you can't keep doing this. You need some rest or you're going to end up as a patient in this hospital yourself."

"I'm fine," Kim said, clearly irritated. "I got some sleep here and, before you mention the kids, I went back home this morning to have breakfast with them."

Instead of responding, Kayla walked to the other side of the small room and picked up the chair sitting there. Carrying it over beside Kim, Kayla set it down and then sat. Then she reached over, took Kim's hand, and faced her sister.

"I know you think you can handle all of this - staying with Shane, spending time with the kids - but you're exhausted. I can see it. And I know you can feel it, no matter how much you are trying to fight it."

Kim started to protest, but Kayla held up her hand. "I know. You don't want to leave Shane's side in case he wakes up. You want to be here because it's where you know you need to be. I understand that. But making yourself sick isn't going to do Shane any good."

"It's only been a couple of days," Kim said tiredly.

"Since Shane was shot, yeah. But we had days before that in that hanger, and you weren't getting any sleep there either. I'm a nurse, Kim. Your body can't take the lack of sleep and lack of food much longer."

"I've had food," Kim protested.

"You've had a bite here and there. I know because I've been with you most of the time. And I'm sure, if I called Simmons and asked, he'd confirm that you ate next to nothing when you were at the house."

Anger flashed in Kim's eyes. "What do you want me to do, Kay? You want me to go home and pretend everything is okay?"

Kayla ignored Kim's anger and pressed forward. "Of course not. I know that you need to be here and that Shane needs you here too. But you need to go home tonight, eat a real meal, and get some real sleep. If you think you won't be able to sleep, then we can get Neil to write you a prescription for a sleeping pill."

"Kay-"

"No, Kim. Don't fight me on this anymore. If you don't want Shane left alone, then I'll get the family together and we'll take shifts. But you need to take care of yourself. . . . If you won't do it for you or for me, do it for Shane." Kayla gave Kim a slight smile. "He is going to wake up, and he's going to need your strength when he does."

Kim was quiet for a moment, then gave a small nod. "All right, Kay. I'll go home in time for dinner tonight. And I'll talk to Neil about prescribing something for me."

"Good." Kayla felt relieved. "Now, I want you to come with me and get some food." She held up her hand again. "Don't argue, Kimmie. The sooner we go and get you some food, the sooner you can come back."

"You really don't give up, do you, little sister?"

"Nope." Kayla up and pulled Kim from her chair. "Let's go."

Kim smiled and followed Kayla from the room. They stopped at the desk, let the nurse on duty know where they would be, and made their way to the cafeteria.

Kayla watched carefully as Kim selected some fruit and a muffin for her tray. Ignoring the look Kim gave her, Kayla added some cereal and milk as well. After paying for their meals, Kayla led Kim to a table, sat down, and stared pointedly at Kim's tray.

Sighing, Kim began eating. At every pause, Kayla would clear her throat and point again at the tray. Despite several eye rolls and a glare or two, Kim kept eating and finally finished off her breakfast.

"Satisfied?" Kim said as she pushed he tray away.

Kayla shrugged. "For now."

"So are you going to babysit me all day now?" Kim asked, but without the earlier irritation.

Kayla smiled, but shook her head. "I probably should, but I . . . I'm actually going back to work this afternoon."

"Oh." Kim could not mask her surprise, but she recovered quickly. "That's great, Kay. I know that you enjoy your work."

"I'll still be here at the hospital," Kayla said quickly, feeling a little guilty for some reason. "So I'll be able to check on you." She glanced at Kim. "But I've been off work for a while now and I just can't really justify staying away any longer."

"It's okay, Kay." Kim looked down at the table. "I know that everybody's life can't stay on hold just because Shane's in a . . . a coma."

"He won't be there for long," a voice said behind Kayla. She turned to find Alice Horton standing there.

"Mrs. Horton." Kayla smiled. "It's good to see you."

"It's very good to see you too, my dear. Both of you." Alice seemed to study them. "How are you both? We were all so preoccupied the other night, I didn't really get a chance to ask. You know . . . the two of you had us all very worried. I'm so glad you are both okay."

Kayla shared a glance with Kim and they both nodded. "We're fine."

Alice turned to Kim. "How is Shane doing today?"

"About the same," Kim answered.

"Well, that just means his body is taking the time it needs to heal," Alice said with her usual optimism. "He'll wake up when he's ready."

Kim nodded again. "I'm sure you're right."

"Of course, I'm right." Alice leaned over and put her hand on Kim's shoulder. "I know it's difficult sometimes, but the one thing that nobody can ever take away from us is our hope and faith. It's gotten me through more difficult situations in my life than I care to remember, and it will get you and Shane through this too."

"I hope so," Kim said.

"Trust me." Alice patted Kim's shoulder. "You know . . . while you were missing, Julie and I went over to the house to check on Shane and your kids. You can't imagine how worried he was . . . not just about you and Kayla, but about what might happen to the children. But he didn't give up hope, Kimberly, so you can't either."

Kim said nothing and sighed, but Alice continued.

"I can tell you one thing that was quite obvious. Look at me, Kimberly." Alice waited until Kim complied and then said, "Shane loves you very much. And when he wakes up, he's going to tell you that."

As Kim slowly nodded once more, Kayla smiled at Alice's words. It never ceased to amaze her how Mrs. Horton could make you feel better just by her presence and her sincere words. Somehow, when Alice Horton said everything was going to be okay, you just had to believe it was true. Kayla could only pray that Alice was right this time too.


	342. Chapter 342

"Please try to calm down," Roman was saying into the phone as Steve entered the Commander's office at the Salem PD.

"Eve . . . I can understand you're upset." Roman held up a hands, his fingers about an inch apart to tell Steve that it would just be a little longer. "I wish I had more I could tell you," Roman said. "Look . . . We've made arrangements for a plane ticket for you. Just go to the airport and get on the next flight to Salem."

Roman flinched and jerked the phone away from his ear. Even halfway across the room, Steve could hear Eve at full shriek, though he could not make out her words.

"No. . . . I am not saying he's going to die." Roman sighed, speaking back into the phone. "Eve, we don't know right now. He's in a coma and his injuries are severe. That's all I know, okay. . . . You're his next of kin, so we need you here to make decisions. Until you get here. . . ."

Roman took a deep breath and seemed to wince, before he spoke again.

"Kimberly's doing that."

Steve had been wrong. Now Eve was at full shriek. This time he could hear her words, as she yelled, "Kimberly! How can you let her-"

"I didn't," Roman said, trying to cut Eve off. "That's the hospital protocol. With you gone, Andrew would be next-of-kin, and Kim is Andrew's guardian, so-" Roman stopped abruptly. "Yes. Okay. The next flight. Good. I'll have someone meet you at the air-" He stopped again and looked at the phone. Obviously, Eve had hung up.

Now that his attention was no longer on the phone call, Roman looked over at Steve. "I didn't want to play the Kim card, but she left me no choice. How the hell can Shane be so calm all the time and then have daughter like Eve? Sometimes, I wonder. I know they did DNA tests, but. . . ." Roman shook his head and changed the subject. "Well, we'll just deal with Eve when she gets here. So what can I do for you, partner?"

Steve pulled out the Chronicle containing Rachel Knight's latest story. The headline "_Doubts Persist about Donovan Shooting_" blared across the top. "Why aren't you fixing this?"

"I don't control the press," Roman said.

"So you're just gonna let them keep running this bull about Shane being in cahoots with Winters?" Steve asked. "Why not release a statement saying what really went down the other day?"

Roman looked Steve in the eye. "You already told the whole story, Steve. If they're not going to pick up your side of things, there's not much I can do. Besides. . . . the Police Commander ordered us to remain hush-hush until the full investigation is complete."

Steve snorted. "Right. . . . So they can keep smearing Shane's name. This stinks of the ISA, Roman. They can't have Shane look like a hero, so they make up all this BS."

"Steve, there's nothing we can do to stop it. For now, we just have to let it lie." Despite Roman's words, Steve could tell that his brother-in-law hated the situation as much as Steve did. But Roman clearly was not going to give in. At least not on that.

With a resigned look, Steve said, "Fine, then. But if you're not going to help Shane that way, I want your help with something else."

Roman's eyes narrowed. "What kind of help?"

"I've got a plan to clear Shane's name," Steve said.

"Steve. . . ." Roman shook his head. "This isn't the time-"

"It _is_ the time," Steve barked. "Okay? Right now. Look . . . I owe him, Roman. I owe him and that's how I'm going to pay him back. So I need to know if you'll help me."

Roman looked confused. "Why me? Why not Bo?"

"Because you're a cop, and I need a way to get to them."

Cocking an eyebrow, Roman asked, "'Them'?"

"The soldiers," Steve said. "I know where they're based and, I'm telling you, if we can get to them, they'll jump at the chance to testify." _At least, I think Deakins will_. "They'll tell that courtroom that the ISA knew all about the mission. Hell, they'll tell the truth; the ISA planned it. But I want your help getting onto that base in Kentucky. They aren't going to let me in."

"So what do you want me to do?" Roman asked, maintaining a neutral tone.

"You're a cop. You can come up with some reason to get us on base." Steve threw up his hands and paced around the room. "Hell, I don't know, use your badge to get the local cops to help us. Whatever. All I need is a way to get on that base."

"I can't do that." Roman shook his head from side to side. He started to turn away, but Steve grabbed his arm.

"Don't walk away." Steve jerked Roman's arm so he turned back. "Come on, Roman. Help me out here. Shane's your friend."

Roman started to say something, then stopped. He closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them, he said, "Shane wanted them left out of this."

"Yeah, well, Shane's in a coma right now and may never wake up, so I don't think he's got much say in this mater." Steve's frustration was threatening to overwhelm him. "I'm gonna do this - with or without you."

Roman pulled his arm free of Steve's grip. "I know what you're thinking, Steve. You're thinking if you can clear Shane, the slate's wiped clean. But you don't get it. There's no slate."

"You're wrong," Steve growled, then repeated, "You're wrong." _I owe him_. "Look, I was hoping you would help me, because it would make things easier, but if you won't help me, I'll do it alone." When Roman seemed to hesitate, Steve urged, "Just help me."

For a moment, Roman seemed to mull it over. Finally, he said, "Even if I could go against what Shane wants, I can't. I'm supposed to leave town with Marlena to try to find out what happened to her. We've already put it off a couple of times, and we can't really put it off anymore."

"That won't take long," Steve said. "You'll be back and you can help soon enough."

"I don't know how long it will take," Roman replied. "Besides, I'm still not sure exactly when we're leaving." He looked down at the ground. "I didn't want to go until Shane woke up, but. . . ."

_But nobody knows when that's going to happen_, Steve added silently, thinking how several days had passed since the shooting. _Or if it's going to happen_.

"So you're just going to move on?" Steve muttered. "You're not going to help Shane at all?"

"Damn it, Steve," Roman snapped. "It's what the man wants. And, no, I'm not just moving on. Shane's one of my best friends, and I want to help him, but not by going against what he wants."

Steve shook his head. Roman was not going to budge no matter what was at stake. So typical of the by-the-book cop. "Great, so go off to Mexico and have yourself some Margaritas or Piña Coladas or whatever it is they sell there. Who cares if your best friend dies or goes to jail?"

Roman started forward, but stopped. "Johnson. . . . Get out of here right now. I'm going to forget you said that, because I know how you're feeling about what happened with Winters. But don't push your luck."

Angrily, Steve began to respond, but decided there was no point. "Fine, Roman. I'll go. You just think about what I said." Then, with a bit of a sneer, he added, "Hasta luego."


	343. Chapter 343

"Andrew, honey, come on," Kim called out. An instant later, Andrew came racing down the stairs. He was wearing a pressed pair of slacks and a button-down shirt, not exactly his Sunday best, but nice enough for his first day of school.

"Are you excited?" Kim asked.

Andrew nodded, then stopped. He looked down at the floor. "I just wish Daddy was going with us."

"I know, sweetie, and you know Daddy would be with us if he could." Kim wondered again if this was the right decision. Now that Cal was no longer threatening them, it was safe for Andrew to return to school. And Marlena has encouraged Kim to send Andrew to school. She thought it would be good for him to get into a "normal" routine, rather than be isolated at home with his tutor and Simmons, while Kim spent most of her time at the hospital praying for Shane to wake up.

Roman and Mickey had cleared the way with the principal, making sure he understood that Andrew's being in class would not endanger any of the other students. And with no idea of when - _if_, added that little voice in the back of her head - Shane might wake up, Kim had agreed.

"Come on, let's get you some breakfast." She put a hand on Andrew's shoulder and began steering him to the kitchen, just as the front door opened. Kim jumped in surprise, startled to see Eve in the doorway.

"Evie!" Andrew cried, rushing forward to give his sister a hug.

"Heya, squirt," Eve said, but even as she crouched down, she eyed Kim with an accusatory glare. Obviously, there was about to be a confrontation.

With an inward sigh, Kim told Andrew to go into the kitchen and see what Simmons had prepared. She waited until Andrew disappeared down the hall and then turned back to Eve.

"I'm glad you're home," Kim said.

"Yes. . . ." Eve paused deliberately. "This is my home. But I'm not really sure what you're doing here, Kimberly."

Kim did not need this. "Eve, please. . . . This is not the time to fight. We need to be together, not at each other's throats. That's not what your father would want right now."

"Who knows what my father wants right now?" Even said angrily. "He's in a coma because of your ex-stud. Or should I forget that it was Cal Winters who shot my dad?"

Kim had no idea what to say to that. "Eve . . . . blaming me isn't going to help anything. We both want the same thing right now."

"You don't know what I want," Eve snapped.

"I know you want your father to be okay," Kim replied, trying to remain calm and sympathetic. When Eve came to Salem, Shane had become her world. Kim had seen what Eve went through when they thought Shane had died, and how the blame had fallen on Kim. It was unlikely much had changed. "I want the same thing. So, . . . can we just put aside who's to blame at least until your father wakes up?"

Eve glared at Kim, who knew attempting to make peace was a losing battle.

"Okay, fine. . . ." Kim said, wearily. "I have to take Andrew to school, and then I want to get back to the hospital to see if Marcus has any news."

Eve shook her head. "If there is any news, Marcus will be giving it to me now, not you. I'm his daughter. You're just his ex-wife." Kim did not miss the emphasis Eve placed on the "ex."

Closing her eyes, Kim forced herself to take a deep breath. Finally, she said, "I understand that, but I'm also Andrew's mother and, for that reason alone, you can't shut me out of this." Knowing there was no point in pushing things right now, she said, "We can discuss this further at the hospital. I'm . . . . I'm sure you want to rest up a little after your flight." As she turned and walked down the hallway to the kitchen, she heard Eve mutter something under her breath, but Kim ignored it.

_She's just a little girl and she's scared_, Kim said to herself. _You have to keep the peace. That's what Shane would want._

Reaching the kitchen, Kim saw that Andrew was finishing up a bowl of cereal and Simmons was putting tinfoil on a large container - more food for the hospital staff, Kim suspected.

"Will Miss Eve be staying here?" Simmons asked.

Kim nodded. "As she said, this is her home."

Setting down his spoon, Andrew looked up. "Are you sorry Eve's home?"

"No, of course not," Kim said, trying to make that sound more certain than she felt. "Eve's just upset right now. I think she'll feel better when she's seen your father." _At least I hope so._

Kim wondered if she should talk to her sister. Kayla had seemed to have a good relationship with Eve, though sometimes Kim wondered if that was just a way for Eve to take a jab at Kim. Still, she needed someone to help smooth things over. The last thing they needed was World War III in this house.

Suppressing another sigh, Kim smiled at Andrew. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get going. You wouldn't want to be late for your first day of school."

She put a hand on Andrew's shoulder as they walked to the front door. For now, she would focus on her son's first day of school - a bit of normalcy amidst the chaos. Everything else would wait.


	344. Chapter 344

"I understand my error and I regret my conduct toward Mrs. Devereaux." Lawrence knew he sounded sincere, even though it went completely against his nature to act contrite. But he was selling the sniveling apologist well. The parole board members were eating it up.

A woman on the panel said, "And you understand, Mr. Alamain, that we, in the United States, take these type of crimes very seriously. What may be acceptable in your home country may not be permitted here."

"Of course," Lawrence said meekly, stopping himself from pointing out that his "crime" had occurred in his home country. He glanced around the room, "I am quite sorry that Mrs. Devereaux is not present for this hearing, so she could hear my apology personally." For effect, he added, "But I understand that she has moved on with her life and I wish her well in her marriage and for her future."

The panel members all bobbed their heads at that. They were sold.

Lawrence tried not to smirk, as he glanced sideways at his attorney. Julian Huntington III had barely said two words since the hearing began.

One of the panel members leaned forward. "If we grant parole, Mr. Alamain, do you understand that you are required to remain in Salem and meet regularly with your parole officer?"

"Absolutely, sir." Lawrence remained obsequious. "I have every intention of making Salem my home and doing what I can to make up for my past wrongs."

_Fools_, he thought, as the heads bobbed once more. The chair of the panel then asked Lawrence to leave the room while the vote was taken, but the outcome was obvious.

An hour later, Lawrence stood next to Huntington in the Salem Parole Office, which took up a corner of the Salem PD headquarters, as a low-level bureaucrat processed his release papers. Adjusting his Girard-Perregaux watch, recently recovered from the prison property department, Lawrence looked over at Huntington, who placed a stack of papers inside a manila folder.

"This is the last of it," Huntington said, passing the folder to Lawrence. "The information on your parole requirements are in there. . . . You're free to go." The attorney shifted uncomfortably.

Lawrence tried not to laugh. The meeting a few days earlier had obviously left the attorney questioning his decision to take on Lawrence's representation. Nonetheless, he had done his job and had nothing to worry about. "Thank you, Mr. Huntington," Lawrence said. "You performed most admirably, and I see no further need for your services at present." With the folder in his hands, Lawrence headed out of the Parole Office to meet Ivan, who was waiting just outside the door. Before Lawrence could say a word, however, he was interrupted by a shout from down the hall.

"Hey! What's going on!"

Stopping still, Lawrence could not stop himself from smirking as he heard Roman Brady's voice behind him. Turning slowly, he said, "Commander Brady. . . . How nice it is to see you again."

Roman looked from Lawrence to the attorney and back to Lawrence. "I said, what's going on, Larry."

Lawrence did not respond to the gibe. There was no need. He had the upper hand. "What's going on, Commander, is that I have just been granted parole." He tried not react to the shocked look on Roman's face, but could not stop himself. "Evidently, the date must have slipped your mind, Commander."

Roman shook his head. "Your parole hearing is not for another few weeks. That can't be right."

"Perhaps you should explain that to the members of the panel," Lawrence replied. "I guess they failed to mention it to you when the hearing was moved to this week." _Thanks to Ivan_. "That would explain the lack of observers at the hearing."

"Observers?" Roman raised an eyebrow. "Observers like Jennifer, who might have told the parole board how you raped her? Or Alice Horton, who might have told them how you held her captive and then tried to collapse those tunnels on her and her family?"

Lawrence chuckled. "Please don't be so melodramatic. It would have made little difference. The members of the panel plainly understood how I was the victim of a political witch-hunt, a vendetta to blame me for a crime that, it turns out, never happened."

Lawrence smiled inwardly as Roman seemed to struggle to find a response, most likely having already overtaxed his limited brainpower.

"On that note, I believe Ivan and I shall be leaving," Lawrence said. "It has been quite a long time since I have had the opportunity to enjoy my freedom." He motioned for his henchman. "Come, Ivan."

Lawrence ignored the harsh glares he received from people inside the Salem PD headquarters as they made their way to the exit. It took only a few minutes to reach the limousine that Ivan had waiting outside. Once inside, Lawrence reached for a bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket of ice.

"Is there anything you wish to do in Salem, sir, before we leave?" Ivan asked.

"No." Lawrence shook his head. "I assume the plane is ready?" When Ivan nodded, Lawrence smiled, twisting the top of the champagne bottle so it erupted with a satisfying pop. He did not pour a glass though, as he directed Ivan. "The airport then. I believe it is time that we went home. We shall return to Salem soon enough."

He glanced down at the manilla folder with the details of his parole obligations. Laughing, Lawrence tossed the contents of the folder into the ice bucket.

He thought back to what he had told the panel about his intentions to make up for his past wrongs. _That's absolutely true_, Lawrence thought_. I have plans to make up for past wrongs. They just may not be the wrongs those imbeciles on the parole board think I was talking about._

Lawrence laughed again, as he raised the champagne bottle and emptied its contents of over the papers.

_Oh, those poor, deluded fools. They have no idea just how much I intend to make up for the past._


	345. Chapter 345

Steve glanced at Kayla, as they parked the car. Roman had called the apartment 20 minutes earlier and told them to come to Alice's Restaurant immediately. He had refused to elaborate, telling them to "show up, right away."

_Okay, Roman, we're here._

Steve opened the door for Kayla and helped her out of the car, watching her face carefully as she stepped out. She looked tired after a long day of working at the lab, but he did not see any sign of pain, so at least her rib seemed to be healing. Nonetheless, he suspected they both would have preferred to spend a quiet night at home with Stephanie rather than being summoned by her brother.

"I don't get why Roman just didn't tell you over the phone," Kayla said for the third or fourth time. Steve could tell by Kayla's tone that she was worried, but he had no idea what this might be about. So he could only shrug in response. Sounding resigned, Kayla turned toward the door. "Let's get this over with."

Entering the restaurant, Steve spotted Alice Horton talking to some customers. Then he spotted Julie Williams sitting in a booth and talking quietly with Kim, who, as Steve studied her, looked even more tired and strained than in the hours after Shane was shot. Knowing Kayla would want to talk with her sister, Steve escorted her in that direction first.

"Kim. Julie." He stopped beside the table.

"Kayla, Steven, darlings," Julie said. "Why don't you two join us? It seems Commander Brady is running late. I can't wait to hear his explanation for why he's called this pow wow." She turned toward Kim. "Kim was just telling me about Eve being back."

Recalling Roman's conversation with Eve, Steve could only imagine what Kim was going through. He waited for Kayla to give Kim a hug and for them to both sit down before he asked Kim, "So how's that going, you know, with Eve?"

Kim shook her head. "How do you think? She's furious with me, because she thinks it's my fault. And since she's Shane's next-of-kin, she's using that like it's a weapon."

"I was just telling Kim that I can talk to Eve," Julie said. "I seemed to have some minimal influence on her before."

"Or maybe Kay could." Kim looked over at Kayla. "You always seemed to get on okay with Eve. When she was on trial for Nick's murder, she seemed happy you were there."

Steve saw the way Kayla shifted a little, as if uncomfortable with the idea. It took Steve a moment to realize that it might be due to the circumstances of Kayla's past experiences with Eve. After all, a lot of that had come when Kayla was living at Shane's. Trying to be encouraging, Steve said, "If you think it might help, Sweetness, I think it's a good idea."

"Maybe we should tag-team her," Julie added. "Do like they do on TV, with the 'good cop, bad cop' bit."

Kayla nodded slowly. "I guess . . . I'm just not sure it will do any good." She looked down at her hands. "I mean, Eve had already moved out of Shane's when we. . . ." She shrugged slightly. "Eve may not like me that much anymore. . . . What we need is for Shane to wake up."

They all fell silent at her words. After a moment, Steve asked Kim, "Is there any change?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. He's still in ICU. Still in the coma. And Marcus has no idea when he's going to wake up."

"I'm sorry I haven't been by the past few days," Steve said. The last time he had been at the hospital was the morning they met with Jack for the interview.

"Don't be," Kim said, sounding bitter. "It's not like he'd know you're there anyway."

Steve was taken by surprise at her harsh tone, but then he chalked it up to the stress and strain. After this many days, it was no wonder that she might be starting to lose some hope.

Kayla spoke before he could say a word. "Don't think like that, Kimmie. Shane was hurt badly, but he'll wake up. You know he will." She took Kim's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You know it."

"Steve."

Startled by his brother's voice, Steve turned suddenly to see Jack and Jennifer standing a few feet away. "Hey," Steve said. "What are you doing here?"

"Roman called us." Jack looked around, a little confused. "Isn't that why you're all here? Are we at the right place?"

"You are, Jack," Julie replied. "Roman didn't tell you why he wanted us here, did he?" When Jack and Jennifer both shook their heads, Julie said, "I don't suppose this is good news."

"No, I don't think so." Jack sounded pretty certain to Steve.

Frowning, Steve asked, "Why do you say that?"

"I just figured it had something to do with Lawrence Alamain." Jack glanced around at everyone, who all took in that idea. Narrowing his eyes, Jack explained, "I assumed since most of us were in Alamainia and Steve . . . well, you have the most reason to hate Lawrence."

Steve let that sink in. Everyone else seemed to do the same and the group fell silent. After a few minutes, Steve decided to change the subject. He turned to Jack.

"Thanks, by the way, for the article. I know it didn't do much good, but you tried."

Jack and Jen both shook their heads. In a disbelieving voice, Jen said, "I just don't get it. Most of those papers picked up Rachel Knight's lies, but they wouldn't print the truth coming from an eyewitness. That's the kind of scoop every paper in the country would kill for. The reporter who can get a story like that should be on every news show."

"Gee, Jen. . . . Thanks for reminding me," Jack said bitterly.

Steve remembered what Shane had said when Jack told them that Rachel Knight was suggesting the kidnapping was a hoax - the lies make a better story. With a sigh, he decided to lighten the mood. "Cheer up, Jackson. I bet you, now, Rachel Knight's removed you from her Christmas card list."

Jack had to laugh at that, but he stopped almost immediately. "Hey. . . . Look like our host's here."

Steve turned to see Carly, Bo, and Roman walking toward them. Steve wondered if Bo was about to break something, considering his way he was scowling. Roman appeared almost as angry.

"I really don't think we're going to like this," Jack muttered.

The three reached the table, just as Alice rushed over.

"Roman," she said anxiously. "What's wrong? What's so important that you couldn't tell us over the phone?"

Roman stopped and took a deep breath. Then he announced, "Lawrence Alamain was just set free."


	346. Chapter 346

Kayla felt her hand tighten around Kim's. _Lawrence is free_? _How could that be_?

"I don't understand," Jen said. "Lawrence was sentenced to six months. It's only been three."

Roman sighed. "He got paroled today. He-"

"Wait a minute!" That was Jack. "His parole hearing isn't for a few more weeks. That's what the DA told Jen, so she'd know when and could attend." He looked baffled and turned to Jen. "Wasn't that what Glynnis told us?"

"Somehow, he got it moved up." Roman scowled, cutting off the question he must have known was coming. "I don't know how. He must have paid someone off."

Kayla tried to control her fear, as she turned toward Steve. She remembered how angry and scared she had been when Steve told her he had confronted Lawrence at the jail and, then again, when he told her about breaking into Lawrence's house.

_What will he do with Lawrence free_?

As if mocking her thoughts, Steve chose that moment to speak, his voice low and dangerous. "What's the big deal? He was going to get out in a few months anyway. Now that he's out, maybe he can finally get the punishment he really deserves."

"Don't even think about it, Johnson," Roman warned.

"Why not?" Steve growled. "After what he did to me. After what I went through-" Stopping abruptly, Steve broke off whatever he was going to say. He clearly did not want to reveal the details of his captivity to the entire room. In a more controlled tone, he continued, "After what he put all of you through, he deserves to pay."

On the opposite side of the table, Julie said, "Roman . . . Steve has a point. I mean . . . look at us. Lawrence Alamain nearly killed most of us. It wasn't right that he only got a few months."

"You know we didn't have enough evidence to prove Lawrence intended to kill you," Roman replied. "Just like Shane and Bo couldn't find enough evidence at Lawrence's villa to prove he was responsible for the boat explosion." He looked at Steve. "You don't remember anything about that night that might give us evidence against Lawrence, do you?"

Kayla could see that Steve was disappointed when he had to admit, "No. . . . I don't remember anything from that night after leaving Wings."

Roman looked equally disappointed. "Well, there's nothing we can do except keep an eye on Lawrence. I'll have some men track his every move. He's not going to hurt anyone in Salem, not while I'm Police Commander." He gave Steve a pointed look. "And you'd better remember that this is a job for the Salem P.D. I don't want you doing anything stupid." He then spun toward Bo. "And that goes just as much for you, little brother. If I find out you've been out to Alamain's house, you'll be sorry. Leave this for the cops."

Steve began to pace, and Kayla could see his frustration. She started to get up, but Kim grabbed her hand. Turning, Kayla saw how pale Kim was, but she could not read the expression on Kim's face.

"Kim?" she asked.

Kim stared blankly across the room. "What if he thinks we. . . . What if-" She suddenly slapped her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened.

"What?" Kayla asked. Then she realized what Kim meant. When Lawrence had gone to prison, Kim was living at his house. Did he still think Kim had feelings for him? Did he expect her to come back to him? She tried to calm Kim. "At this point, he's got to know you wouldn't go near him with a ten-foot pole."

"No," Kim said, shaking her head. "That's not it."

"Then what is?" Julie was still sitting across the table and had obviously turned her attention to Kayla and Kim.

Kim looked at both of them. "Cal. . . . What if Lawrence was behind Cal?"

"What do you mean?" Julie asked, but Kayla understood what Kim meant. Cal had somehow escaped from prison in Alaska without anyone getting wind of it. And the warden had disappeared. That was the type of thing Kayla could definitely see Lawrence doing.

"But why?" Kayla asked. "Why would Lawrence arrange for Cal to escape?"

"Isn't it obvious?" That came from Jack, who had stepped close to the table.

"What's obvious, Jackson?" Steve asked, coming over.

Kayla hated when Jack got one of those know-it-all looks on his face. But then there was a lot about Jack that made her uncomfortable and probably always would be.

"Go ahead, Jack," Kim said. She sounded like she was encouraging him to answer the question.

"Look, I don't know for sure," Jack said, tempering expectations. But at Steve's eye-roll, Jack realized he was not going to escape without responding. "Fine. What's the best way to distract us from following Lawrence and finding out about his parole hearing?" He looked around, and Kayla saw Julie nod. Kayla understood too.

"Make us worry about someone we love," she said aloud.

"Exactamundo," Jack added. "And while we're all focused on the kidnapping, Lawrence gets his parole hearing changed and none of us even notices."

Kayla shook her head a little. "I don't know, Jack. Lawrence wasn't even here when Cal went to prison."

But Jack would not be dissuaded. "Like Lawrence couldn't find out about Cal? All he needs is to check some back issues of the Spectator."

Roman stepped in at that point. "Stop it, Jack. The ISA's had Lawrence under surveillance ever since he went to prison. And before anyone says anything about the ISA, it was Shane who was in charge of the investigation. He told me he was watching Lawrence, and Cal's attacks on Kimmie started before Shane was arrested. If there was any evidence that Lawrence arranged for Cal's escape, Shane would've found it."

It was Bo's turn to speak. "Don't you worry about ol' Larry, either, sis," he said to Kim. "If he comes near you . . . well, whatever Roman has planned for me, I'll make sure Lawrence gets a lot worse."

Kayla squeezed Kim's hand and stood up from the table. She walked over to Steve, who was still agitated and angry. Kayla knew she had to nip this in the bud. Taking his hands, she pulled him aside.

"Listen to Roman, Steve," she said softly. "You'll just get into trouble if you try to go after Lawrence. I've seen how he operates. Just let it go. . . . Let the police handle it. Roman will make sure nothing happens."

"You really believe he can do that, Sweetness?" Steve asked with a pointed look. Kayla had no answer. She knew as well anyone that there were no guarantees where Lawrence was concerned. Seeing her silence, Steve nodded. "You know the truth as well as I do." Turning away, he grumbled. "I can't believe he got away with this. If only I could remember something about that explosion. Maybe there was a clue or something."

Kayla reached up and touched his cheek. "I'm sure if there was something, you'd have remembered it. It's okay. All I care about is that you're back and you're safe. As for Lawrence, we'll all just have to be on our guard, and I'm sure Roman will be watching him like a hawk."

"Well, Abe's going to cover that for the next little while," Roman said from behind her. Turning, Kayla saw Roman run a hand through his hair. "Marlena and I are taking off tomorrow for San Cristobal. We can't really put it off any longer."

"You're leaving now?" Steve asked. "Shane's still in a coma and now Alamain's out, and you're leaving?"

Kayla turned back to Steve and stepped between him and Roman. "I'm sure Roman doesn't want to go right now, but he's right. He and Marlena have put this off for a few weeks already." Kayla sighed. Silently, she agreed with Steve and wanted her brother nearby, but she also knew that he and Marlena believed San Cristobal held the key to unlocking her memories. "They have to get on with their lives. We all need to."

With a sigh, Kayla looked at Steve, who was scowling. Could he let things lie? She knew his hatred of Lawrence ran deep, and she could not really blame him. But she trembled at the thought of what it might cost them if Steve pursued Lawrence alone.

Putting a hand on his arm, she said, "Come on, Steve. Let's go home. We'll let the police handle Lawrence." She hoped that sounded confident.

But, inside, she felt that gnawing fear rising again. They needed to get on with their lives, but she wondered if that would ever be possible, especially now with Lawrence Alamain free. Deep down a voice was telling her that more danger was just around the corner.


	347. Chapter 347

_Seven days. _

Those words kept repeating in Kim's mind as she walked down the hospital corridor to the ICU. Seven days she had been in limbo. A full week, and still no change in Shane's condition.

Kim tried to silence the little voice in the back of her mind that asked what if Shane never woke up. What if he stayed like this? Kim knew it was possible. She had read articles about people who stayed in comas for years.

_That can't happen to Shane._

The family could not survive that. Every day, Kim had to see Andrew's face fall as she told him that his father's condition had not changed.

And each day, Kim woke dreading what the day might bring from Eve. Julie and Kayla had talked to Eve, but all that had brought was grudging permission that Kim could visit Shane each day. Kim had hoped that seeing Shane would cause Eve to realize that they all needed to work together, but Eve kept seeing the past. Whenever they crossed paths, Eve reminded Kim that it was her relationship with Cal that led to this. Even if it had only been two days since Eve had arrived in Salem, she was showing no sign of dropping her anger toward Kim. And Kim feared that Eve's hostility would grow even stronger if Shane's condition remained in limbo.

With a sigh, Kim reached the ICU, pushed the screen open, and stepped inside.

Shane's bed was empty.

Kim tried to stem the panic that threatened to flood her. "Marcus!" she cried, spinning and running out of the room. She grabbed the arm of the first nurse she spotted. "Where's Marcus, I mean, Dr. Hunter?"

"He's-"

"I'm right here, Kim." At the sound of Marcus' voice, Kim turned. He had his hands up. "Calm down. We just moved Shane to another room. With the ventilator removed-"

Now Kim was confused. "What do you mean? When did you remove the ventilator?"

"About an hour ago," Marcus said. "Didn't Eve tell you? Shane's vitals looked okay, so we wanted to take him off the breathing tube."

"Is he-"

Marcus nodded. "He's fine. At least, he's breathing okay on his own. His breathing is shallow because we wrapped his ribs so tight, but he's doing fine."

Detecting Marcus' hesitance, Kim looked him in the eye. "But?"

"But. . . ." Marcus took a deep breath. "But he still hasn't woken up, and the more time that passes. . . ."

"The less chance of him coming out of the coma." Kim knew that. When Shane had been in the coma after she had shot him, Mike had told her the same thing. "So where is he?"

Marcus held out his arm. 'I'll take you up there."

Grateful, Kim took his arm and let him lead her to the elevator. As they walked, Kim began replaying the conversation. "So Eve told you to remove the ventilator?"

"We discussed it with her," Marcus explained. "We didn't want to do it without her agreeing. I can't believe she didn't tell you."

_I can_, Kim said to herself. Out loud, she just shook her head. "You don't need to worry about the family drama. Your job is more important. You need to get Shane better."

Marcus stopped short. "Kim. . . ."

Kim knew she was not going to like what Marcus had to say, so she steeled herself, before she said, "Go on."

"We've done pretty much all we can for Shane." Marcus looked away. "It's all up to him now."

Neither of them said anything further as the elevator arrived and took them up to a different floor. They entered a new ward, one that Kim knew was just for patients who did not need the same kind of monitoring as the hospital provided in intensive care. At least that told her that Marcus was optimistic that Shane was out of immediate danger.

As they approached the room, Marcus stopped again. "Kim. . . . I've been talking with Eve about long-term care options." He looked decidedly uncomfortable. "If he doesn't wake up . . . I can't really justify keeping him. There are places. . . ."

"You mean like a nursing home?" The idea was unfathomable. This was Shane they were talking about.

But Marcus did not detect Kim's disbelief. "Exactly. There are a couple of good ones in Salem that I discussed with Eve. I didn't realize she wasn't discussing things with you; I just assumed-"

"You shouldn't assume anything, Dr. Hunter." Eve's voice carried into the hallway from the door of the hospital room.

"Eve," Kim said evenly. "Marcus was just telling me-"

Eve tossed her head, whipping her long blond hair around her face. "I heard, and I'll remind you both that I'm making decisions about what happens to my dad."

"Nobody is trying to prevent you from making decisions." Marcus' tone was one of total exasperation. "It's just that Kimberly and your father-"

"- are no longer married," Eve said, cutting Marcus off. "She divorced him - or am I the only one that remembers that?" She turned to Kim. "When you sent those papers, Kimberly, you gave up any right to make decisions for my dad."

Kim felt her heart sink. "Eve . . . why can't you understand that I love your father and he loves me."

Eve harrumphed. "Yeah, right."

"Look, Eve," Marcus said. "You weren't here when your father was shot."

"No, but I was here when he got the divorce papers." Eve's voice rose sharply. "And I also know that if it wasn't for her jumping into bed with Cal Winters, my dad wouldn't be lying in that room with none of us knowing if he'll ever wake up. So don't lie to me and act like she's some kind of saint!"

"Eve!" Marcus snapped.

"What?" Eve said, equally loudly. "You're like everyone else. Always thinking of poor, fragile Kimberly. Well what about my dad? He's the one who nearly died - because of her." Eve glared at Kim. "And I swear, when he's out of here, I'm going to make sure you can't hurt him any more. Or see him. You may have friends here who can fight your battles, but-"

Marcus grabbed Eve's arm. "That's enough." He started dragging Eve toward a staff lounge. "We're going to have a talk about shouting in this hospital, young lady." He gave Kim a quick look and motioned toward the room.

Still reeling from the venom of Eve's words, it took Kim a second to realize that Marcus was taking Eve away so Kim could get into Shane's room. For a moment, Kim wondered if Eve would direct the hospital to keep Kim away. After hearing Eve's anger, Kim could not dismiss that possibility.

_This might be the last chance I have to see him_, she realized.

Slowly, sick from the very thought, Kim stepped slowing through the door to Shane's room. He was completely still, just as he had been during every visit over the past week. The only difference is that he no longer had the large breathing tube over his mouth. He still looked like he was sleeping peacefully.

Stepping over to the bed, Kim reached down and took Shane's hand.

"Shane . . . I'm here again. I don't really know what to say; I feel like I've said everything already." Kim blinked back a few tears. "God . . . we need you. We need you so much. I don't know what's going to happen now. Eve's so angry and, well, you know we've never seen eye to eye. It's like you've always been the one to keep us together. . . ."

Kim took a deep breath, lifted Shane's hand, and clasped it in both of hers.

"I'm afraid, Shane. I'm afraid Eve's going to let that anger poison everything and keep me away from you. And I'm afraid for our children. I look at Andrew, and it's like, every day, his world is crushed when I have to tell him you're still asleep. Plus Jeannie's going to be talking soon and she's going to ask about her daddy too. They need you. Your children need you."

_I need you._

"Why can't you wake up?" Kim squeezed Shane's hand. "I know you don't want to give up. You could have given up before, but you kept fighting. I know you're still fighting, so you just have to wake up. I know you can do that, Shane. I know you want to be here."

Kim stopped talking as she waited for a response, but there was none. Shane remained silent and motionless. The only real sign of life was the slight rise and fall of his bandaged chest.

Unable to think of anything more to say, Kim laid Shane's hand back by his side. She stayed quiet, just watching him. Outside, she could hear Eve shouting again and knew her time was nearly up.

With a heavy heart, Kim leaned over and gave Shane a light kiss on the forehead. She did not even realize she was crying until some of her tears landed on Shane's cheek. Kim brushed them away and then ran her index finger over Shane's lips.

"I love you," she whispered. "If you hear nothing else, Shane, hear that. I love you, and I'll always love you."

Stepping back, Kim turned, started for the door, and readied herself for another round with Eve, even though she feared it was a losing battle. The law was on Eve's side this time.

_For Shane, though, I'll keep fighting._

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Kim froze as she heard the sound change in the monitor behind her. The slow, steady beeps had suddenly become a rapid string. _Please, God_, she prayed. Fearing the worst, she slowly turned around.

Shane was moving. Not a lot, but Kim saw his head move slightly. And she heard something. Not words, but murmurs.

"Shane. . . . I'm right here," Kim cried out, rushing back to the bed. "I'm right here, my love."

His head continued to loll a bit and his eyelids fluttered.

"Come on, Shane. Wake up," Kim urged. Then she remembered the doctors and she ran to the door. Marcus was just down the hall, still facing-off with Eve.

"Marcus!" Kim shouted. "Come quick. I think he's waking up."


	348. Chapter 348

Something was pressing down on his chest, Shane realized, as he gradually came to.

It took him a second to realize what it was. Then he slowly opened his eyes and smiled.

In the early morning light, he could see that Kim's head was resting on his chest. She was turned on her side, her blond hair cascading over and obscuring her face. Kim's right arm stretched lazily across Shane's ribs.

Shane traced a soft line down her spine with his index finger, eliciting a soft murmur from Kim that turned into the sound of a contented sigh.

_How the bloody hell did I get so lucky_? Shane thought. Kim lying next to him. Andrew and Eve in their bedrooms just down the hall. It was beyond anything Shane had ever expected.

For such a long time, Shane had pushed away thoughts of love and family. After Emma, he was sure he would live a solitary life.

_And then Kim came into my life and everything changed._

Perhaps sensing his thoughts, Kim stirred again. He watched her sleepily shift back and forth, push her hair from her face, and then raise her head. She then looked up at him and smiled radiantly.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

Shane smiled. "Just thinking that I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Kim lifted herself a little and slid her body along his until her face was directly in front of his. "So you're feeling lucky, are you?" She grinned saucily. "Care to try your luck some more?"

"Did anyone ever tell you you're psychic?" Shane joked.

Kim leaned her head forward and whispered. "I must be, because I have a pretty good idea of exactly what I'm going to do to you in the future." For emphasis, she slid her hand low beneath the sheets, and added, "The very near future."

Words eluded him as Kim took charge. Then he closed his eyes as she kissed him. _This has to be a dream_, he told himself, even as he continued to feel her lips on his. _Nobody is this lucky._

He should have known it wouldn't last.

Beep.

Beep.

"Nooooo." Shane's own groan mixed with Kim's.

Beep.

"That blasted alarm." Shane grimaced, still with his eyes closed.

Beep.

He stretched his right arm out to where he knew the alarm would be and tried to hit the "off" button.

Beep.

Beep.

"Oh, bloody hell," he muttered, as the beeping continued and he felt Kim pull away. Shane reached for her but she must have gotten out of the bed. Confused, Shane opened his eyes.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

_Where am I_?

He was no longer in their bedroom, but he had no idea where he was. The room was dimly lit and he kept hearing that incessant beeping. _Why didn't Kim turn off the alarm_?

_Where's Kim_?

"Kim?" he asked, but he could not tell if he formed the word. His throat was dry and raw. And he felt that same weight on his chest, like in the dream. He tried to breathe, but the weight seemed to constrict his chest.

Panic began to set in. _What's going on_?

Someone loomed over him. _I know him_, he thought, but he could not place the dark-skinned man. The man was talking, but not in words. Shane could only hear some garbled sounds between the constant beeps.

Gasping for breath, Shane twisted his head to look past the man. _Where's Kim_? Shane needed to know. She had been with him. _Was that a dream_? _Where is she now_?

". . . understand me?" The first comprehensible words from the dark-skinned man cut through the fog in Shane's brain. Shane tried to focus on him. _Who is he_? Then a name came to him. _Marcus._

"M. . . Mar-"

Marcus nodded. "That's right, Shane. It's me. Try to calm down. I know this is all confusing, but you're in the hospital."

That did not register. Shane shook his head. He had to find Kim. He needed to find her.

"Try to stay still," Marcus said. "Shane . . . try to focus on me." That came out as more of a command.

"Need . . . find. . . ." Shane heard his own voice; it sounded so weak. "Kim. Find Kim. . . ." He tried to pull himself up, but his words broke off as a sharp pain ripped through his chest and he cried out.

"Try to hold still." Marcus pushed Shane back down, even as the pain continue to lance through him. "Shane, you were shot."

_Shot_? Shane shook his head. _Shot_? That made no sense. _I'd remember being shot_. _Wouldn't I_?But that was not important. "Kim?" he asked weakly. "Where's Kim?"

"I'm right here."

Her voice came through clearly and drowned out whatever Marcus was saying. Shane jerked his head from side to side, trying to find her. If he heard her voice, she had to be there.

"I'm right here," Kim said again, and she came into view. At the same time, she took his hand in hers. "Try to calm down, Shane. I know it hurts, but I'm right here."

Her touch had a soothing effect. Shane felt his body relax. The pain seemed to lessen.

"Kim," he rasped, his eyes locking on hers. She was crying, he realized. _Why_? He did not understand. He just said, "Shhh. . . . don't cry."

She leaned over him and brushed his cheek. "I thought we'd lost you."

The pain was growing even more distant as Shane focused on her. He could hear Marcus' voice, but the words ran together. It did not matter. Kim was here. Kim was safe. A niggling voice asked Shane why he thought Kim might not be safe, but he had no answer. Something had happened, but he could not remember what it was. His mind was all cloudy and it seemed to be getting murkier.

"You need to rest," Kim said. "You need to rest and get better."

Rest sounded good. In fact, Shane found himself struggling to keep his eyes open. They felt so heavy. He tried to squeeze Kim's hand, but had no strength.

"Don't leave," he begged in a voice just barely audible as his eyes closed again.

He felt Kim's soft touch on his cheek and heard her murmur, "I'll be right here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere."

The pain was gone and he felt like he was floating with only Kim's touch keeping him in contact with the ground. But she would be there when he woke up, so he could let himself go. And he thought he heard her say something about Jeannie and "your daughter," but he was already floating away into unconsciousness. As he slipped away, he had one last fleeting thought that explained everything.

_It must have been a dream._


	349. Chapter 349

"Damn it, Jack. There has to be a way to get on that base," Steve said, feeling his frustration growing again.

"I'm sorry, Steve." Jack sounded as frustrated as Steve felt. "But I don't have the kind of connections you need to get past base security, at least not without raising the wrong kind of attention."

Steve stood up and paced around the room. He and Jack had been in Jack's office for the better part of two hours trying to find some way to contact the soldiers without the military or ISA finding out. Thus far, they had come up with nothing.

There was no question that base security would be told to be on the lookout for Steve, even if the reason why was not disclosed. Steve knew that warning would also include Jack, given Jack's participation in the little games Steve had played with the ISA. Steve was also pretty confident the list would include Bo, considering the ISA knew of Bo and Steve's long friendship and Bo's relationship to Shane.

Steve had hoped that Roman might have been able to help because of his police connections and his badge, but he had refused and was now gone with Marlena to San Cristobal. That left nobody that Steve was willing to trust to help him out. Which meant he was back to square one - he and Jack would have to figure this out on their own.

"What about that camp you find out about?" Steve asked. It felt like months had passed since he and Jack had been in this office after dealing with the ISA.

"I made some calls, but it turns out the place is pretty full most of the fall." Jack shrugged. "I guess it's a popular place for hunters to stay. I was able to eliminate a few weeks when that reunion probably can't be happening, but I couldn't do much to narrow down when it might be."

"Great." _Back to square one._ "Maybe I should just go to Kentucky and hang out around the base," Steve said, thinking out loud. "Sooner or later I'm bound to spot Nowicki or Deakins."

"Or get spotted by base security or the ISA," Jack pointed out.

Steve knew Jack was right. But Steve also did not know what else to do. He had to talk to Nowicki and Deakins before Shane's trial and he could not just sit back and hope an opportunity would magically appear in time.

A knock at the door interrupted Steve's thoughts. He glanced at Jack, who shrugged and called out, "Come in."

The door opened and Abe Carver entered the office. "Abe," Jack said, sounding surprised. "What brings you by?"

"I was looking for Steve," Abe replied. "And for you."

"What's going on, Abe?" Steve asked. He could tell from the expression on Abe's face that it was not good news.

Abe took a deep breath. "Lawrence Alamain has disappeared."

"What!" Steve could not believe his ears. "He just got out of prison and you already lost him? What the hell are you guys doing?"

Abe held up his hand. "I know how you feel, Steve. I hate this as much as you do."

"Then what happened?" Jack asked. "Roman promised us the Salem PD would watch him like a hawk."

"A blind hawk apparently," Steve scoffed.

Abe shot an irritated glance at Steve for the jibe, but answered Jack's question. "You know that he got the jump on us by moving up his parole date," Abe said. "As soon as Roman found out, he had a detail assigned to watching Lawrence's house."

"So how did he slip by your guys?" Steve asked.

"He didn't." Abe turned to Steve. "It turns out that Lawrence never went back to the house. He set it up so it looked like he did - apparently had some servant dressed like him staying in the house so that it looked like Lawrence was there. We didn't find out until he missed his appointment with his parole officer today."

"If he didn't go back to the house, then where did he go?" Jack's voice was calm but deadly serious.

"He apparently had a private plane waiting and went straight from the prison to the plane. It wasn't a plane owned by him or his companies, because we've had a long-term track on those." Abe signed. "As for where he went, we don't know for sure, but we expect that he is back in his country."

"Unbelievable." Steve threw up his hands. "The guy buys his way out of prison and waltzes right out of the country. Now we have no idea what he's up to or where he might show up again."

"I've got units assigned to keep an eye on all of your homes," Abe said, trying to placate Steve. "But if Lawrence left town, it's a good bet that he's through with Salem."

Steve shook his head and looked at Jack. He could tell that Jack was thinking the same thing he was - Lawrence was not one to give up that easily. Maybe Steve did not know the man the way the others did, but he knew all too well how he operated.

A sudden chill washed over Steve at that thought. "Shane," he said quietly.

"What about Shane?" Abe asked, a curious look on his face.

"Shane's in the hospital, in a coma, just like I was." Steve looked at Abe. "What if Lawrence tries to take Shane like he did me?"

"Lawrence paid off a doctor that time." Jack turned to Steve. "Shane and Kayla found some tape recording at Lawrence's villa that proved that Lawrence was working with that doctor."

"I know," Steve said. "Kayla told me about that. And the only doctors that have been allowed to treat Shane are Marcus and Carly. But that doesn't mean that Lawrence can't buy somebody else off."

"I'll get an officer over to the hospital immediately," Abe promised. "We'll make sure no unauthorized person can get into Shane's room"

"Is the Police Commissioner going to let you do that?" Steve could not hide his disdain. "After all, he apparently thinks the Salem PD should still be investigating Shane working with Cal."

"Nobody believes that Shane was working with Cal, Steve." Abe's irritation was obvious.

"Then why hasn't the Salem PD issued a statement saying that?" Steve asked angrily. "It's been a week and you still haven't done anything to put those questions to rest."

Abe took a deep breath as if trying to control his emotions. "We've stayed quiet about it because Mickey asked us to," he finally answered.

"Why on earth would Mickey do that?" Steve was incredulous. "He knows that kind of publicity isn't doing Shane any good."

"Because he's afraid that the judge might use what happened with Cal to revoke Shane's bail." At Steve's shocked expression, Abe continued, "Shane broke into a private building, armed, without any legal authority, and killed a man. Mickey's worried the government will argue Shane violated the conditions of his bail."

"He was rescuing Kim and Kayla." This time it was Jack's turn to question Abe. "Even if it was a technical violation, no reasonable person could hold it against him."

"Mickey doesn't think the judge is all that reasonable, so he doesn't want to take a chance," Abe explained. "Look . . . it's not like we're actually conducting any kind of investigation. Mickey just thinks it's better if we let the whole thing drop and not give the ISA or the judge any ammunition to make things harder for Shane."

Steve just shook his head. He could not believe that it was somehow better for people to think that Shane might have been involved with the kidnapping than it was to make sure the truth was known.

The room was silent for a moment and then Abe spoke. "I'm heading back to office. I'll get the detail assigned to Shane's hospital room and set up the extra patrols around your homes. And if I get any information about Lawrence, I'll let you know."

Steve nodded. "Good." He turned to Jack. "Meanwhile, the rest of us are just going to have to keep our guard up. Now that Lawrence is on the loose, there's no telling what he might be planning."

Steve watched silently as Abe left and Jack reached for the phone to call Jennifer. Despite what he had just said, Steve knew all too well what Lawrence was likely planning. He had served as the lab rat for that plan after all. Abe might believe that Lawrence was done with Salem, but Steve knew that was not true. Another cold chill ran through his body as he realized that it was not a matter of if Lawrence would be back. It was only a matter of when.


	350. Chapter 350

Kayla turned the last page of the thick stack of papers on her desk and checked the clock. She had been wading through the final revisions to the grant application for a couple of hours and was finally satisfied that it was ready to go.

As she stood up and made her way out of her office, she had to feel a little proud. Despite all that had happened recently, with the help of Neil, Carly, and Kayla's own excellent administrative assistant, the grant application had been completed on time and Kayla felt sure it would result in increased funding for the lab.

Completing the grant application also meant that Kayla would finally be able to start taking a weekly shift in the emergency department and the trauma center, once it was up and running. She enjoyed the challenge of running the lab, but was anxious for the chance to treat patients again.

Stepping into the elevator, Kayla pushed the button for the ICU floor. Since she had returned to work a few days earlier, she had made a habit of taking a mid-morning break to check on Kim.

When she reached the ICU, she smiled at the nurse on duty and moved towards the door only to be stopped by the nurse's voice.

"Kayla," the nurse said. "If you are looking for your sister, she's not in there."

Kayla stopped and turned back towards the desk. "Oh. Did she go down to the cafeteria?"

The nurse shook her head. "No. Captain Donovan was moved to the fourth floor earlier this morning. I'm sure that's where your sister is."

"Shane was moved?" Kayla was surprised. It was unusual to move a patient in Shane's condition, unless. . . . "Did Shane wake up?" she asked excitedly.

The nurse shook her head again and gave Kayla a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get your hopes up. Dr. Hunter removed the ventilator, so he felt Captain Donovan could be moved out of the ICU."

"Oh." Kayla's heart sank. Then she forced herself to sound more positive. "At least that means his wounds are healing if he's off the ventilator. I guess I'll head down and find my sister."

The nurse nodded and returned to her charts. Kayla reversed her course and retraced her steps to the elevator. She knew it was good news that Shane was breathing on his own, but every day that he remained in a coma only raised more questions about whether would ever wake up.

Reaching the fourth floor, Kayla checked at the nurse's desk and then quickly made her way to Shane's room. The door was closed, so she knocked softly, then entered. She could see Kim sitting beside Shane, just as she had done for the last week. Yet, as Kayla looked closer, something was different.

"Kim," she said quietly.

Kim turned and looked at Kayla, a huge smile breaking across her face. Kayla felt her heart leap as she took in her sister's expression.

"He woke up," Kim said, tears in her eyes. "He finally woke up."

"Oh, Kimmie, that's wonderful," Kayla exclaimed, moving quickly to her sister's side.

"It was only for a minute or two, and he was in a lot of pain," Kim said, the smile subsiding. "But his eyes opened and he called my name." She turned back to Shane. "And I think he's tried to wake up again; at least, his eyes opened for a second a few minutes ago."

"That's good." Kayla smiled down at her sister. "He's on some pretty strong pain medications, so that's to be expected."

"That's what Marcus said," Kim said. She sighed heavily and Kayla could see the weariness just beneath Kim's smile. "I'm just so relieved he finally woke up."

Before Kayla could respond, she heard Shane stir slightly. Kim quickly turned back, took his hand, and said his name softly. Kayla watched as Shane's eyelids fluttered, but after a few seconds, they stopped and Shane was quiet again.

"See what I mean?" Kim said, turning back to Kayla.

Kayla nodded. "I know it's hard, but you just have to be patient, Kim. At least now you know he's just resting. He'll wake up when he's ready."

Kim nodded ruefully. "I know. I should just be grateful for the fact that he's out of the coma. I just want him all the way back. I need to know he's okay."

Before Kayla could respond, Marcus entered the room. He smiled at Kayla and then turned to Kim. "You know I hate to do this, but we need to change some dressings and check Shane out for a minute. Do you mind stepping outside?"

Kim sighed and stood up. Kayla gave Marcus a grin and followed her sister out the door.

Once they were outside, Kayla glanced around, then asked Kim, "Where's Eve? Does she know that Shane woke up?"

Kim nodded tiredly. "She was here when it happened. She's poked her head in and out of his room since then, always with a less than subtle hint that I should leave." Kim shrugged and looked around. "I guess she must have decided to take a walk or something."

"I'm sorry Eve is still causing you so much trouble." Kayla had hoped that the talk she and Julie had with Eve would have helped more. "I can try to talk to her again if you want, but I have to be honest, I don't think I have much pull with her anymore."

"It's okay," Kim said. "Shane's awake now and Eve can't try to keep me away anymore. I can deal with the rest. I'm pretty used to it by now."

Smiling at Kim's remark, Kayla caught sight of a police officer walking towards them. She and Kim exchanged a questioning look as the uniformed officer walked to Shane's door and took up a position beside it.

"Excuse me," Kim said to the officer. "May I ask what you are doing here?"

The officer looked at Kim sternly, but did not respond. Kim looked at Kayla, concern in her eyes.

"Officer," Kayla said, stepping closer. "The patient in that room is . . . uh, a family member. Surely we have a right to know why you seem to be guarding the door"

"If you have any questions, you'll have to talk to the hospital administration or Captain Carver," the officer said curtly.

"Then I guess we'll do that." Kayla did not bother to hide her irritation. "Come on, Kim." She turned to the nurses' desk, intending to call Neil, but saw her husband striding towards them.

"Steve," she called to him. "Did you hear the news?"

"Yeah, I did." He eyed the officer. "Did this guy tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Kayla was confused. "How would he know that Shane had woken up?"

"Shane woke up?" A smile crossed Steve's face. "That's great." He looked at Kim. "I bet you're feeling pretty relieved right now."

Kim nodded and returned Steve's smile. Then she looked at him curiously. "But if you didn't know that, then what news were you talking about?"

Steve sighed and motioned Kim and Kayla to take a few steps down the hall. "I hate to tell you this now and spoil the mood, but Lawrence Alamain has disappeared. Nobody knows for sure, but Abe thinks he's back in his country."

The news hit Kayla like a physical blow. It had been bad enough to know that Lawrence was out of prison, but at least she had taken some comfort in believing that the Salem PD were watching his every move. Now the man who had cost her so much was on the loose again.

"So that's why the officer is guarding Shane's door." Kim's words were a statement, not a question.

"Yeah." Steve nodded. "With Lawrence on the loose, we didn't want to take any chances. There will be a cop at his room around the clock with a list of people authorized to enter. Only family and hospital employees we trust will be allowed in."

Kayla looked at Steve as he finished, knowing what his words implied. They were not going to let Lawrence do to Shane what he had done to Steve.

Smiling gently at Kayla, Steve put his arms around her shoulders. "I know you're worried, Sweetness." He looked at Kim. "Both of you. But we're not going to let anything happen to Shane - or anyone else, for that matter."

Kayla nodded and leaned into her husband's embrace. She wanted to believe him, but her heart told her it was not going to be that easy. As long as Lawrence Alamain was on the loose, everyone she loved was in danger.


	351. Chapter 351

Over the next several hours, Shane woke a few times, each time just for a moment before he slipped back into unconsciousness without saying even a single word. Although Kim had been disappointed that Shane had not spoken, she had been relieved to see that, in those few moments of consciousness, Shane had lost the panicked and pained expression that she had seen when he had first emerged from his coma.

That panic and pain had torn at her heart and sent tears to her eyes. She knew only too well how Shane tried to be stoic when he was hurting - the classic, British, stiff upper-lip. What he had felt when he had woken up must have been excruciating.

And, yet, the whole time, he had kept asking for her. In the face of that pain, he had needed her. Even now, as he slept, she could hear him begging her to stay.

So it was now late afternoon and Kim waited anxiously for signs that he would wake up again. There was no way she was leaving until that happened.

She heard a noise to her right and turned toward the door. Eve was standing just inside, a scowl on her face.

"Anything new?" she demanded to know.

Kim shook her head. "I want to be here when he wakes up."

Eve rolled her eyes. "I don't know why. It's not like you're married anymore."

"Eve. . . ." Kim forced herself to take a deep breath. This was about the third or fourth time they had had the same exchange that day. "Shane wanted me to stay. You heard him."

Scowling, Eve turned away and left the room, leaving Kim to sigh. She had hoped Shane waking up would temper Eve's animosity, but mainly Kim had just received more scowls. For a moment, Kim wondered why Eve remained so hostile. Was it jealousy? In some ways, Kim believed that was at the root of Eve's problems with Kim. The little girl who spent years yearning for her father still could not accept the idea of sharing his affection.

"Kim?"

The word was so faint that she thought she had imagined the sound of her name before she turned toward Shane's bed. His eyes were open and he was watching her.

She reached forward and grabbed his hand. "Shane . . . I'm right here."

He swallowed and she saw him wince.

"Here," she said, grabbing a cup next to his bed that had some ice chips. "The nurses said this might help." She fed him one of the bits of ice, then asked, almost reluctantly, "Do you hurt? I can get the nurse."

"No . . . wait. . . ." Shane kept a hold of her hand. When she studied his face, she could tell he was still in pain, but not as much as earlier. It looked like the medications were working. That also might have explained why Shane seemed to be struggling to find words. At least, Kim hoped that was the reason. Finally, he managed to ask, his words halting, "What . . . what happened?"

Kim squeezed his hand. "You don't remember?"

Shane shook his head weakly.

"You were shot," she said. "Can you remember anything? Cal?"

"Cal?" Shane fell silent and his face scrunched up as he thought.

Kim tried to encourage him. "See if you can remember anything."

There was a faint trace of recognition in Shane's eyes and then he blurted out, "You . . . missing. Cal . . . he had you." That was a mix of statement and question.

"That's right," Kim said, feeling relief wash over her. "Do you remember coming to the hangar? You and Steve? You rescued us."

Shane appeared to fight through his memories some more. Then his eyes focused and he sounded worried. "Steve? Cal shot-"

Kim shook her head. "Steve's fine. You pushed him out of the way. That's when you were shot."

"Shot?" Shane sounded confused. He tried to sit up, but cried out and fell back against the bed.

"It's okay. You're okay now," Kim assured him. "You're going to be just fine." She prayed that was the truth. The pain was visible on Shane's face once more and he was gasping as he took short, staccato breaths. Between the injury to his lung and having his broken ribs wrapped so tightly, he could not breathe deeply. "Try to relax, Shane. I'll get Marcus and he can explain."

Shane shook his head. "No. . . ." He laid still and managed to slow his breathing. Kim could still see the pain, but he was trying to mask it. "You. . . ."

"Me?" Now Kim was confused.

"You," Shane repeated. ". . .l right? Cal. . . ." Shane seemed to pause and fight again to find the right words. Finally, still in a very weak voice, he asked, "Did he . . . hurt you?"

Kim blinked, not sure if she was stopping herself from laughing or crying. Shane had barely survived and he wanted to know if she had been hurt. With her free hand, she reached out and brushed his cheek softly. "I'm fine. He didn't hurt me."

_At least not physically._ Kim had barely acknowledged the psychological wounds Cal had inflicted.

_Or the one's you inflicted on yourself. _A silent voice, harsh in its accusation, echoed in her head. _You know what you would have done_._ How will Shane react to that - to you agreeing to whore yourself again_?

She could not think about that right now. All that mattered was Shane.

His eyes were studying her, but she could not read them. Then he smiled and, in a barely audible whisper, said, ". . . love you."

"I know." Kim traced the line of his jaw. "I know you do." She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but something stopped her. Her confusion persisted. Could she let herself believe what Shane had said on the tape? Was she opening herself up for another crushing blow? "I . . . I saw the tape you made, the one after Jeannie began walking. . . ."

Shane's eyes seemed to cloud over, and she knew he was struggling to figure out what she was talking about. She kicked herself. Shane was barely conscious and weak; this was not the time to discuss their future. "It's okay," she said quickly. "We can talk about that another time. But I need to tell you something - something very important."

"'kay," Shane said with a weak nod.

"When Cal had us, he told me something. . . . About Jeannie. And Neil confirmed it's true." Kim took a deep breath, but Shane spoke before she could finish.

Shane rasped, "What's true?"

"Jeannie. She's your daughter, Shane, not Cal's." As she said that, Kim watched Shane's face, waiting for some sign of understanding. But Shane had a blank look on his face. "Did you hear me?" Kim asked. "I said Jeannie's your daughter."

Before Shane could respond, a voice from across the room interrupted them.

"What?" Eve said, from just inside the door. "What the hell did you just say?"


	352. Chapter 352

Kayla took a deep breath and tried again to focus on her current task. After returning to her office and sending Steve off with a kiss, she had decided to do some inventory work in the lab. The monthly supply order had to be completed, which gave Kayla something to do besides review the grant application one last time.

But since she had started in on her inventory list, Kayla had found herself constantly losing track of her counts. Her mind kept drifting to Lawrence's escape, to Shane's recovery, and to Kim's problems with Eve, but mostly to the fears she could not seem to shake.

No matter how hard Steve had tried to reassure her that Lawrence would not hurt them again, Kayla knew better. She knew that Steve would do everything in his power to keep her and the rest of their family safe, but that only scared her more.

Kayla rubbed her eyes and tried to stop her churning emotions. _Maybe Lawrence really is gone for good_, she tried to tell herself. Maybe she was just letting her fears get the best of her again. As much as Kayla wanted to believe that, she could not.

Lawrence would be back. It was just a matter of when.

_And what he will do the next time_? _That's the real question, isn't it_? When Lawrence returned, he would undoubtedly have a plan for his revenge.

Kayla felt her anger and frustration build again. Would she, Steve, and their family ever be allowed to live their lives in peace? Would there ever be a time when Kayla did not have to fight back the fear every single day?

A loud crash startled Kayla. She spun toward the sound, but as she did, her heart sped up. The cold barrel of a gun pressed at her temple. The smell of gunpowder overwhelmed her. She dropped her clipboard.

_I'm never going to see Steve and Stephanie again. _The thought flashed in her head.

"No!" she screamed.

"Kayla!" a familiar voice broke through her consciousness. Kayla blinked rapidly and focused on the figure across the room. It was Carly, who was watching her with a concerned expression.

"Are you okay?" Carly walked rapidly toward Kayla.

Kayla looked around. She could see the broken glass from a dropped beaker on the floor near where Carly had been standing. Taking a deep breath, Kayla leaned over, picked up her clipboard, and tried to calm her rapidly beating heart.

"I'm fine," she said, standing back up. "I guess the noise just startled me."

"Are you sure?" Carly looked doubtful. "You looked lost there for a minute."

Kayla nodded and smiled, trying to project a confidence she did not feel. "I guess I'm just a little jumpy these days. I didn't mean to worry you."

Carly studied Kayla, then seemed to relax and returned Kayla's smile. "I'm just glad you're okay." Carly started back to her work station, glancing a couple of times over her shoulder in Kayla's direction.

Before Kayla could make yet another attempt at the inventory list, there was a knock at the door. Putting down her clipboard, Kayla moved towards the door and opened it. Standing at the doorway was a delivery man with a dolly that held three unmarked boxes.

"I have a delivery for Dr. Carly Manning," the man said.

Kayla nodded. "Thanks. I can sign for them."

"I'm afraid not," the man replied firmly. "I have instructions to hand-deliver these items to Dr. Manning personally."

Kayla was about to protest. After all, she was the lab administrator. All deliveries should be cleared through her office one way or another. But, before she could say anything, she heard Carly's voice behind her.

"It's okay, Kayla. I'll take care of it."

Kayla glanced at Carly, shrugged, and stepped out of the way. Keeping one eye on the door, Kayla pretended to return to her inventory. She watched as Carly signed for the delivery and then led the man to the secured storage room.

After a moment, they returned to the lab and the delivery man left. Without a word, Carly went back to her work station and resumed her work.

Kayla thought about questioning Carly, but something in Carly's manner made her hesitate. Despite her absences from the lab, Kayla was aware that a new project with significant urgency was underway. Kayla suspected this delivery was connected to that project.

The boxes had been completely unmarked, so that meant they had not come through so-called official channels, nor was the man simply a commercial courier. To Kayla, that meant one thing. This was ISA-related. Kayla was sure of it. She had not forgotten the ISA's control over the lab's resources - or the way the ISA had forced Shane out of any connection to the lab after his arrest.

Kayla did not like this. She hated being out of the loop on something happening in her lab. It reminded her too much of how she had been kept in the dark about Shane's true purposes for opening the lab in the first place. But she also suspected that now was not the time to interrogate Carly about the new project.

Still, Kayla pledged to keep her eyes open. She would find out about Carly's project and the ISA's role in it. Eventually, Kayla would get to the bottom of the mystery and find out exactly what the ISA had planned for Salem.


	353. Chapter 353

_Jeannie's your daughter._

That sounded like what Kim was saying, but Shane struggled to process the words. His mind seemed so cloudy that it was hard to think.

_Jeannie's your daughter._

Slowly, in his mind's eye, he pictured the little girl - blonde like her mother, with the same searing green eyes. Now that the picture had formed, Shane tried to connect the rest of the dots.

_Jeannie's my daughter._

Eventually, it registered. Shane did not know what to say. _Wasn't it Kim who said she wasn't_? _Weren't there tests_? But looking into Kim's eyes, Shane knew she was telling the truth. He was about to respond, but a loud voice stopped him.

"What? What the hell did you just say?"

_That voice sounds familiar_. Shane started to turn, but a sharp pain ripped through his chest as he began to move. He tried to take a deep breath to stop the pain, but that triggered what felt like a bunch of knives that lanced through his side and a heavy weight that prevented him from getting air.

"Hold still," Kim urged as he gasped for breath.

"What did you do to him?" the other woman cried. She raced forward. "Dad!"

_Dad_? It took Shane a moment to place the voice as the woman with long blond hair came into view. _Eve_? _What's she doing here_? Something in the back of his mind told him that Eve was not supposed to be here. _Why am I so confused_? _Nothing makes sense._

Kim was still holding one of his hands, as she urged, "Shane, try to calm down. . . ." Shane looked back at her to see that she was looking across him at Eve. "Go get Marcus."

"Why should I?" Eve barked. "You're the one who's hurting him!"

Shane's gritted his teeth. The pain and that weight on his chest were still there, but the pain was lessening. "No . . . it's okay."

"It's not okay," Eve said. "She shouldn't be here, Dad. She's the reason you're in here."

"No. . . ." Shane wanted Kim to stay. He needed to understand.

Eve shook her head. "I'm not going to let her do this," she snapped. "Don't listen to her. She's lying. Now she's going to try to convince you that Cal's brat is yours."

"That's not true," Kim protested. "Neil-"

"Neil's like everyone else in this place. He'll say whatever you want him to. Dad, it-"

Her outburst was cut short by another voice. "Enough," yelled Marcus from the doorway. "Everyone, get out right now." As Eve started to argue some more, Marcus stepped forward. "Get out or I'll get an orderly to carry you out."

That seemed to work. Eve stalked out. Before she followed, Kim leaned over Shane's bed.

"I'll be right outside," she said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Shane watched her leave, as his mind tried to process everything that had happened. He had been shot. Kim was safe. Jeannie was his daughter. Eve was here. It was almost all too overwhelming for his foggy brain.

As Shane thought, Marcus came forward. "I'm sorry about that.. That shouldn't have happened." He shook his head, pulled out a light, and looked down at Shane. "I want to look you over right now, but I'm sure you have some questions."

_Where do I start_? Shane wondered. He closed his eyes.

"Whoa," Marcus said. "Try to stay awake for me, just for a few minutes."

"'s okay," Shane said, opening his eyes again. "Thinking. . . . Kim said . . . shot."

Marcus nodded. "That's right. Do you remember that?"

In the recesses of his mind, Shane had a dim picture of being in a room with two men. One had a gun and the other was talking. He could hear Steve's voice and see the other man - Cal - squeezing the trigger. And then there was a lot of movement and noise as Shane had moved and fired.

"I remember," Shane said slowly.

Marcus smiled. "That's good." He leaned over and shone the light in Shane's eyes, letting go only after Shane flinched and tried to move away. That caused another shooting pain through Shane's chest and he tried to take some quick breaths - shallow because that was all he could manage - to ride out the pain.

"I know it hurts," Marcus said. He walked over to the IV drip and fiddled with the controls. "I'm upping the pain medication now that you're awake, but we had to go a little easy because we didn't want to compromise your respiratory system. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

_No_, Shane had to admit. He had no clue what Marcus was talking about really. He just shook his head.

"The bullet hit one of your lungs, and we had no choice but to remove a part of it." Marcus' tone was very serious. "And when you were brought in, we had to do what's called a sternectomy. That meant we had to cut through the bone right here. . . ." He motioned down the front of Shane's chest. "The procedure also broke some of your ribs."

That explained a lot. ". . . why I can't breathe?"

Marcus nodded. "We had to bind your ribs pretty tightly. . . . Now lay still and let me check some more things."

For the next few minutes, Marcus tested Shane's motor skills and reactions. A few times, Shane felt confused and slow, but Marcus just kept running through his tests.

"Okay . . . squeeze my hand," Marcus ordered. Shane had to wonder if Marcus could even feel the weak pressure, but the doctor said, "Good."

"So . . . will I . . . live, Doc?" Shane asked weakly, trying to joke.

Marcus did not seem to appreciate the humor. "It's not funny, Shane. You're extremely lucky to be alive. Your heart stopped, you suffered massive blood loss, and you've been in a coma for a week." He let that sink in before he spoke again. "I think at least we can rule out any brain damage. Some of your reactions are slow, but I think that's from the drugs, nothing else."

That got through the fog in Shane's brain. For the first time, it hit him that he had nearly died and he was only alive because of the doctors. Slowly, he said, "Thank you."

Marcus smiled. "You've saved my life before, so I guess we'll just call it even. But the person you really need to thank is Kayla. If not for her being there when you were shot, you wouldn't have made it to the hospital."

In the dim memories, Shane remembered hearing Kayla's voice. He also had a sense that he had said something to her. The specifics eluded him, but he was sure it had been something about Kim. He tried to tell Marcus to thank Kayla, but, this time, Shane could not manage the words. The pain medication must have been kicking in, because the room was growing cloudy and his eyelids felt heavy.

"Okay, I'm done," Marcus said in a voice that sounded very far away. "You get some rest. I'm not going to lie to you. You're facing a long recovery and. . . ." Marcus had more to say, but he stopped when he realized that Shane was unconscious once more.


	354. Chapter 354

Kim braced herself for Eve's next outburst as she walked out of Shane's room. It did not take long for it to come.

"How dare you lie to him!" Eve shouted.

Kim forced herself to take a deep breath. "I'm not lying," she said evenly. "The ultrasound confirmed it."

Eve was obviously unconvinced. "Like I'm supposed to believe your friends here can't doctor some reports to say whatever you want them to say."

This whole exchange was baffling. Kim looked at Eve, incredulous. "Eve . . . your father nearly died and he just woke up. Can't you set aside your anger and be thankful and happy for a little while?"

"I _am_ thankful and happy," Eve said. "But I'm also not blind. The reason my father nearly died is you. He's better off without you, so I'm not going to let you use these lies to take advantage of him when he's weak."

Kim had to shake her head. "I would never take advantage of your father. Regardless of what we have to work through, I love him too much to lie to him about this." But even as she said that, she could hear the accusatory voice remind her how she had lied to him about Andrew and Jeannie before.

_I learned my mistake_, Kim replied silently.

Eve turned away abruptly before Kim could respond. "I'm not going to let you lie to him," Eve said. Then her voice lowered. "My father has only one daughter."

Kim suspected she was not supposed to have heard that, but it spoke volumes. "Eve," Kim said softly. She stepped toward the younger woman, who still had her back turned. "You can't think Jeannie is going to change how your father feels about you. Shane loves you and nothing's going to change that."

With her back still turned, Eve said, "You don't know that. You don't know anything."

"I think I do." Kim smiled at her own memories. "I'm an older sister, too, and I remember worrying that a little sister would mean my mama and papa wouldn't be able to love me. It's silly, though. It's not like we have some limitation on how much we can love or how many people we can love."

Eve said nothing, but did not pull away when Kim put her hand on Eve's shoulder.

"Remember when you came to Salem," Kim said. "Do you think your coming here made Shane love Andrew any less? Of course not."

"Andrew was just a baby," Eve shot back. She had still not turned to face Kim.

Kim shook her head at the absurdity of this conversation. "Age had nothing to do with it. Your father adores you and he's still going to adore you. You can't really think that's going to change because you have a sister."

Although Kim thought she was getting through to Eve, she was wrong. Eve spun around, tears in her eyes.

"You don't think so?" Eve snapped. "Why? He's going to get the little girl he always wanted - one he can make into a perfect daughter, not a screwed-up, teen hooker."

Kim could see the hurt in Eve's eyes, but there did not appear to be a way to convince her otherwise. Softly, Kim said, "None of that has ever stopped your father from loving you. Remember how he went searching for you when you disappeared last Spring? Or how he found you when Eddie Reed kidnapped you?"

"Yeah? Well he won't have to do that anymore." Eve glared at Kim for a moment. "He'll have his perfect little girl at home." When Kim started to protest, Eve rolled her eyes and waved a hand. "Enough, Kimberly. I've heard all I need to hear. . . . I think I need some air."

Watching Eve storm away, Kim could only feel helpless and sad. It seemed like no matter how much they all tried to assure Eve of her place in the family, the girl just could not set aside those insecurities. And, right now, that was the last thing Shane needed to deal with.

Noting for the first time that a couple of the nurses at their station were watching her, Kim shrugged and turned around toward Shane's room. She headed back to the door and nearly ran into Marcus as he stepped out.

"He's asleep again," Marcus said. "I had to increase the medications a bit."

Kim had seen the pain Shane was in, even though she knew he had probably tried to mask it when he was aware she was there. "It's bad, isn't it?"

Marcus nodded, then took her hands in his. ""From what I understand, the procedure Shane went through is one of the more painful operations." He gave her a somber look. "But there's good news. I think it's safe to rule out any brain damage from oxygen loss. Shane might seem confused and hesitant, but that's the pain medications, not an effect of the shooting."

That gave Kim immense relief. She had known that was a possibility, but had tried to pretend that it was not. Now, however, she could admit that the fear had remained. "So he'll be fine?" she asked.

Marcus started to respond, then hesitated. "I'm not going to lie to you, Kim. This is not going to be an easy recovery. Shane will be in a lot of pain for the next few weeks. We can give him medication, but we're going to need to get him on his feet as quickly as we can. And we'll start some physical therapy right away."

"Well, if I know Shane, he'll be raring to go." Kim smiled at the thought. "He'll want to get back to normal as soon as possible."

"Kim. . . ."

"What?" The tone of Marcus' voice made Kim nervous.

"Maybe I should have told you this before. . . ." Marcus' voice trailed off. "Look . . . Shane's never going to fully recover from this," Marcus said. "Therapy can improve his lung capacity, but. . . ."

"But what?"

Marcus sighed. "He's never going to regain 100% function."

Kim raised her hand to her mouth. She had never imagined that Shane would not recover fully. "I . . . I don't understand. What does that mean?"

"It means that he'll have reduced lung capacity," Marcus explained. "How much will depend on him and how hard he works toward recovery. For a time, he'll be winded and get tired easily. But if he works as hard as you think he will, hopefully, he'll manage to get back to about 80% or 90%. For the most part, that would mean he won't really experience much difference in day-to-day activities. Just don't expect him to run any marathons."

Kim actually felt a little better at hearing that prognosis. "I never really thought of Shane as a marathon type," she joked. Still, it was hard for her to picture exactly what Marcus meant. She also suspected Shane would struggle with the idea of being less than 100%, but he would have to come to terms with it.

_At least he's alive._

That was the most important thing. Shane was alive, and he would get a chance to see his children grow up. She smiled as she pictured all those things she had imagined when Cal's prisoner, but this time, in her mind's eye, her children had both their parents.

"Thank you," she told Marcus. "You can't imagine how grateful we are to you."

Marcus smiled back. "I already told Shane . . . he saved my life from Saul Taylor and his goons. This was my chance to return the favor." He studied Kim for a minute, then added, "And, now, I want you to go home and sleep. With the amount of fentanyl Shane's on, he won't really be conscious until morning."

Kim began to protest, but Marcus shook his head.

"Go home, Kim, and get some rest. Trust me when I tell you that tomorrow is when Shane's really going to need you."


	355. Chapter 355

"Just one more bite, Little Sweetness," Steve pleaded with his daughter. "One more for your Papa."

Stephanie pushed the spoon away again and then smiled at her father. With that one look, Steve knew he was beaten. He could no more resist a smile from his daughter than he could her mother.

Putting the spoon down, Steve picked up the napkin and wiped Stephanie's mouth. Hearing a giggle behind him, he turned, smiling at the sound.

"Are you laughing at me, baby?"

Kayla shook her heard. "I'm just imagining how this is going to work when Stephanie's a teenager. All she is going to have to do is smile at you, and she'll get anything she wants."

"It's not my fault, Sweetness." Steve stood and pulled Stephanie from her high chair. "She's got your smile."

Kayla walked to where Steve was standing. "That's funny" She looked at her daughter. "I always thought she had your smile." Kayla's voice softened. "It was how I knew you would always be with me."

Steve's heart clinched at his wife's words. Silently, he reached out, put his arm around Kayla's shoulders, and pulled her to him. As they stood together, Stephanie reached out and put one small hand on Kayla's cheek and the other on Steve's.

"I think she's telling us it's a little of both," Steve chuckled. Stepping back, he lifted Stephanie high over his head and smiled broadly at the giggles that rained down from his daughter. Pulling Stephanie back down, he leaned over and kissed Kayla on the cheek.

"I'm going to get this little one cleaned up."

"Okay," Kayla replied, kissing Stephanie's cheek. "Dinner should be ready pretty soon."

Steve left the kitchen and carried Stephanie to the bathroom, feeling a sense of relief. For the first time since the rescue from Cal, he felt a bit of normalcy returning to their lives. He knew Kayla was still dealing with the events of the kidnapping and had tried to get her to talk to him about it. Each time, Kayla had insisted she was fine and that she was just tired or worried about Shane and Kim, or some other excuse.

But she had not fooled Steve. He knew there was more to it, but was hesitant to push too hard. Pushing Kayla too hard could just push her farther away. So he watched her closely, held her when she trembled in the middle of the night, and vowed to give her the time she needed to heal. Now, with Shane waking up and Lawrence out of Salem, maybe that healing had finally begun.

Working quickly and efficiently, Steve bathed Stephanie, changed her, and dressed her in her pajamas. He was still amazed at how much he loved even the most mundane parental duties. Each moment with Stephanie was a reminder that his dreams really had come true.

Carrying a now-clean little girl, Steve returned to the kitchen. He placed Stephanie in the playpen with her toys just as Kayla put dinner on the table.

"That smells delicious, Sweetness."

Kayla smiled as she sat down. "Thanks. It's just a seafood pasta. I stopped by the market on the way home and picked up some fresh shrimp from Ma and Pop."

"I guess that's one of the advantages of having a fish market in the family, huh?" Steve winked at Kayla, then took a bite of the meal she had prepared. "It's wonderful, baby."

"I'm glad you like it. It's hard to compete with the wonderful meals you cook."

Steve grinned and reached across the table for Kayla's hand. "It's not a competition, Sweetness. I enjoy cooking for you." His grin faded slightly. "It's the least I can do when you work all day."

Kayla shook her head. "Don't. You're working too. I know how hard you are trying to find a way to help Shane."

Steve shrugged. "Maybe. But it's not like that job pays very well. I should probably start up the job search again."

"If that's what you want to do, then sure," Kayla replied. "But don't do it just because you think you have to. With me back at work, we don't need the money."

Steve sighed and took another bite of the pasta. It still bothered him that Kayla's salary was supporting their family. Maybe it was old-fashioned, but he felt that it was part of his job as a husband and father to support his family. Yet, he knew he had an obligation to Shane and the Brady family as well. And Steve finding some 9-to-5 job was not going to help them.

"It's not going to be like this forever, Kayla," he finally said. "I meant what I said before. I want to be husband and father that you and Stephanie can be proud of. Once Shane is cleared, I'll find that job."

"And I meant what I said before too," Kayla responded. "Job or no job, Stephanie and I love you and are proud of you. You have nothing to prove to us."

Steve nodded and smiled slightly. _But I still have some things to prove to myself_, he thought silently. Deciding to change the subject, he asked, "Was there anything new on Shane this afternoon?"

Kayla shook her head. "Not really. I talked to Kim before I left and Shane was still kind of in and out of consciousness. But he's definitely out of the coma and that's great news."

"Yes, it is," Steve agreed, breathing a silent prayer of thanks. "Now, if somebody can track down Alamain, we might just get things back to normal again." As he took another bite, he caught Kayla glancing at him, a speculative look on her face.

"What is it, baby?"

"Nothing," Kayla said quickly.

"Come on, Sweetness. I saw that look. What's running through that mind of yours?"

Kayla sighed. "I know things are dangerous with Alamain running loose, but maybe it's better that he's out of Salem."

Steve's eye narrowed. "What do you mean, Kayla? You don't really think he's gone for good do you?"

"No," Kayla said quickly. "I know how that man operates, and I'm sure he'll be back eventually." She took a deep breath and looked into Steve's eye. "But as long as he was here in Salem, I'd always be worried about what you might do. I know how much you hate him and I understand why. But . . . I don't want to lose you again."

Steve sat silently for a moment. He wanted to reassure Kayla that she would not lose him, but he knew she was right. If Lawrence was still in town, it would have only been a matter of time before there was some kind of confrontation.

"I'm not going to lie to you, baby. I hate that man. Not just for what he did for me, but for what he's done to our family." Steve again reached for Kayla's hand. "I will do anything I have to do to keep you and Stephanie and the rest of our family safe. You know that."

Kayla nodded, but did not speak. Instead, she lowered her gaze to her plate and picked at her food. Steve sighed, wishing he knew what to say or do to make things right. But it was the same unsolvable dilemma they always faced.

They finished their meal in relative silence, each lost in their own thoughts. As Steve cleared the table, Kayla picked up Stephanie and carried her into the living room. Steve watched them leave and then turned to the task at hand. Within a few minutes, the dishes were done and he walked slowly into the living room.

Standing in the doorway, he watched Kayla sitting on the floor, playing with Stephanie. His daughter was giggling and his wife was smiling. Steve stared for a long moment, wanting to burn the picture in his mind.

Catching Kayla's eye, they exchanged a smile and Steve walked over and joined them on the floor. Maybe they could not guarantee what would happen in the future, but they were together now and Steve would cherish this moment for as long as it lasted.


	356. Chapter 356

Kim returned to the hospital as soon as she dropped Andrew off at school. She had spent most of the morning repeatedly explaining that he could not visit Shane yet.

"But Eve did," Andrew had protested.

"Yes, but Eve's an adult," Kim had said. _Not that she's acting like one these days. _Kim had eventually appeased Andrew by promising that he could see Shane as soon as Marcus said it would be possible.

So that was one child down, one to go. There was still Eve to contend with. Despite Marcus' admonition that Kim get some rest the night before, she had spent much of it worrying about the stress and strain the conflict with Eve would put on Shane. He needed peace and quiet during his recovery, and those words just seemed foreign to Eve.

"Kim." Neil Curtis' voice caused her to spin around as she entered the main lobby. "I heard the good news," he said, as he approached her. "I heard Shane's awake."

She nodded. "It's great news."

"So why don't you sound like it's great news?" Neil tone was matched by a sympathetic look. "No, don't tell me. One blond-haired, not-far-removed-from-her-teens, young lady?"

Kim chuckled. "Got it in one. . . ." She grew serious. "Eve heard me tell Shane about Jeannie and it set her off. She's just so insecure, and nothing I can say will get it through her head that Shane's not going to stop loving her just because he has another daughter. And I'm afraid, Neil. I'm afraid that this kind of conflict is going to hurt Shane's recovery. Maybe I should have waited until he was stronger to tell him about Jeannie."

"Nonsense," Neil said. "If anything, this news is going to help Shane. He needs motivation."

"Maybe." Kim sighed. "I'm not sure he really believes it yet. He was pretty confused when I told him."

Neil seemed to think for a minute. "Hey . . . why don't I get Jeannie's file and we can go over to Shane's room together? I can show him the ultrasound and answer any questions."

"Are you sure?" Kim asked. When Neil nodded, she smiled. "I'd appreciate that."

She walked with Neil to his office, waited while he located the file, and then joined him for the elevator ride to the fourth floor. Exiting, they made their way to Shane's room, just in time to hear someone cry out in pain. That was followed quickly by Marcus' voice.

"Short breaths," Marcus said. "I know that hurts."

Kim started to enter the room, but Neil grabbed one of her arms.

"Give them a second," Neil whispered.

From where she stood, she could not see into the room, but she could hear Shane gasping. "Bloody hell . . . that hurts."

"I know," Marcus repeated. "But it's got to be done."

Even though Neil was holding her arm, Kim peeked her head around the doorway so she could see into the room. Shane was sitting up, being held by an orderly on one side and Marcus on the other. Marcus held a pillow in one hand.

Shane was gasping for breath and his face was pale. "No more," he begged.

"Okay, but we're going to have to do this again in a few hours," Marcus said, as he and the orderly helped Shane lie back down. "We need to make sure your lungs are clear. . . . And it looks like you've got a visitor," he added, catching sight of Kim by the door.

"Visitors, actually," Kim said, stepping into the room and pulling Neil in with her. She could not miss the way Shane wiped his brow and forced his breathing under control, as if he felt he could not show any sign of pain in front of her.

Shane smiled weakly. "Neil, it's good to see you." Then he looked at Kim. "I'm glad you came back."

"Of course, I came back," Kim said, as she pulled the chair next to the bed and sat down. She brushed his cheek, noting how clammy his skin felt. "Are you hurting?"

Shane shook his head, but when she looked at him dubiously, he admitted, "A little."

"Coughing is going to hurt, no matter what pain medication you're on." That was Marcus talking. He explained to Kim, "Shane needs to cough every few hours to make sure his lungs stay clear. Between the lung injury, being unconscious for a week, and having taped ribs, he can't take the normal breaths that clear the lungs. So unless he wants pneumonia, he's got to cough."

"Which hurts like the bloody dickens," Shane muttered. Then he sighed slightly before Marcus spoke again. "But, yes, I understand it needs to be done."

"Good." Marcus glanced at Kim and Neil. "I'll leave him to you now."

As Marcus left, Kim gave Shane's hand a squeeze. "I'm glad to see you awake at least. You were pretty out of it last night,"

"I guess so. . . . I'm not completely sure what really happened and what . . . what I just imagined." Shane looked Kim in the eye. He spoke hesitantly, as if his mind was still cloudy. "Eve was here, wasn't she?"

Kim nodded. "Eve's here. She flew home because we were so worried." She did not mention how Eve felt she had to return to make decisions as Shane's next-of-kin, and he did not seem to have any further questions about Eve. Instead, he pursed his lips before he spoke again.

"This may sound crazy," Shane said. "I thought it was just a dream . . . but did you . . . did you say . . . something . . . about Jeannie?"

Kim smiled softly. "It wasn't a dream."

"How?" Shane sounded puzzled. "I mean the doctor said-"

"Dr. Norris lied," Neil said before Kim could respond. "I know it's hard to understand, but from what we've been able to figure out from the investigation the hospital did with Roman, it appears that Dr. Norris and Cal Winters were in the army together."

Kim continued. "Roman found a record of an unsolved murder at the base where they were stationed. Dr. Norris was a suspect, but never charged. Roman thinks Cal had some evidence that he used for blackmail."

"So how do we know what's true now?" Shane asked.

Neil opened the file he held in his hand. "After Kim told me Cal said Jeannie was your daughter, I went back and looked at her medical records. From the ultrasound, it's obvious that she was not conceived until well after you returned to Salem and-"

"-and after I last spent any time with Cal," Kim finished.

Shane fell silent as he took that in. Nobody spoke, but Kim could read the guilt and shame on his face. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Neil shift uncomfortably. Then he made a quick excuse about having to check on some patients and swiftly left the room. Finally, Shane broke the silence.

"All this time. . . ."

"It's not your fault," Kim said, wrapping her free hand around the one already holding Shane's. "We have a daughter - a beautiful little girl. And it doesn't really matter, does it? Do you remember the night Jeannie walked and what you said on that tape?"

Shane nodded slowly. "I . . . I said Jeannie was my daughter."

"You knew, Shane. You already knew - in your heart." Kim kept clutching his hands. "Don't think about the past. Think about the future. Now you're going to get a chance to raise your daughter."

Closing his eyes, Shane sighed. "And what kind of father will that be?" He opened his eyes again and looked at Kim. "Marcus . . . . He said the bullet did a lot of damage. I'm never going to be the same."

"I know what he said," Kim told him. "But he also said, with therapy, you'll be able to do pretty much everything you did before. So you won't run the Boston Marathon. Who cares? You'll still be able to teach your children to ride, take them for walks all over Donovan Manor, and do everything a normal father would do. That's all Andrew and Jeannie will care about."

Shane took what appeared to be a deep breath, but then it caught against the bandages wrapped tightly around his side. Wincing, he gave a short nod. "I . . . I guess. It's just hard to accept. . . ."

Kim could tell what he was thinking. She had predicted this type of reaction the day before when Marcus told her about Shane's prognosis. "Look," she said sharply. "You can't think of it like that. You need to think of how fortunate you are to have the chance to see your children grow up. That's all that matters. You have that chance."

The room fell silent again and she felt Shane's eyes boring into her. "We'll have that chance," he said. "We'll be together."

Kim knew he was not just talking about Jeannie. She felt torn between wanting to reassure Shane and her concerns that he would hurt her again like he had the morning of the kidnapping.

_And he doesn't even know what you were going to do with Cal_.

She tried to block out the accusatory voice. Right now, Shane needed reassurance. But even as she tried to give it to him, she had to hesitate a little.

"I want us to have that chance," she finally said. "Just like with the children, we'll have a chance."


	357. Chapter 357

Sorry about the delay in posting. would not let me login for two days.

Thanks to everyone who has commented. All of your thoughts and feedback are greatly appreciated.

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"Good, Papa," Kayla heard as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Shh," she heard next. "We don't want to wake up your mama."

Kayla smiled to herself and deciding not to reveal that she had awakened for the moment. Instead, she happily listened to the quiet sounds of her husband and daughter. There was no better way to wake up on a Saturday morning.

As she listened to the two of them playing together, she could not resist rolling over, though she still kept her eyes closed. She heard Steve whisper something, but could not make out the words.

A moment later, the bed moved slightly. That was followed by a soft and sweet kiss from her daughter's tiny lips.

Kayla opened her eyes and saw Stephanie's beautiful face looking down at her. "Mama," Stephanie said, smiling broadly.

"Good morning, baby doll," Kayla said as she pulled Stephanie in for a hug. "What are you and your daddy up to this morning?"

Stephanie looked from her mother to her father and then answered, "Papa playing," as Steve chuckled behind her.

Kayla laughed and reached over to pick up one of the many toys on the bed. "So I see." She looked up at Steve. "Maybe we need to get Papa a toy box too."

Steve smiled down at her. "Sorry to wake you up, baby. Stephanie woke up early and I thought maybe I could get her back to sleep in here with us. But that didn't last long." He looked a little guilty. "I probably should have taken her into the living room, but . . . I just wanted to enjoy the morning with both my girls."

Kayla smiled and let go of a squirming Stephanie. As Kayla sat up against the headboard, her daughter quickly returned to her stuffed animals and other toys in the middle of the bed.

"Don't be sorry." Kayla leaned over and gave Steve a soft kiss. "I just wish I'd have woken up earlier. I hate missing any family bed-time."

Steve smiled and opened up his arms. Kayla scooted over next to him. Together, they sat and watched Stephanie playing, each joining in the fun now and then.

It was not long before Stephanie grew tired of her toys and began climbing over Steve. Kayla giggled as she watched, knowing Stephanie saw Steve as the biggest and best toy of them all. And clearly, Steve enjoyed the game just as much.

For a moment, Kayla remembered the days after Steve's supposed death when every moment with Stephanie was both a comfort and a reminder that Steve would never see his daughter grow up. But then she quickly pushed those thoughts from her mind. She and Steve had promised to focus on the blessings they had now and the future they would share together. And that was what she wanted to do.

Another squeal of laughter from Stephanie caught Kayla's attention. Steve was on his hands and knees, growling like a bear and crawling towards his daughter.

"Uh oh," Kayla called out. "Papa Bear is going to get you."

Stephanie squealed again and began scrambling towards Kayla. Kayla's giggles mixed with Stephanie's squeals and Steve's growls as Stephanie sought protection behind her mother. Soon Steve was looming over both of them.

Before Steve could finish his bear attack, the fun was interrupted by a knock on the front door. Kayla glanced at the clock and then glanced at Steve.

"I guess your Pop was bored this morning," Steve said as he sat back on his knees.

"Looks that way," Kayla sighed. Climbing out of bed, she put on her robe and headed for the living room. Steve trailed behind, carrying Stephanie.

Kayla reached the door just as another knock was heard. She quickly opened the door, not wanting her father to wake the rest of the building.

"Hi, Pop," she said as she opened the door.

"Kayla." Shawn walked in the door, pausing to kiss her on the cheek. "Steve," he said with a nod. He then promptly took Stephanie into his arms and kissed her forehead. "How's my little granddaughter this fine morning?"

"She's fine, Pop." Kayla glanced at Steve, who shrugged. "Uh . . . what brings you by this morning? Is everything okay?"

"Sure everything is fine," Shawn replied, giving Kayla a curious look. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Well Pop, it's a kind of early. . . ." Kayla's voice trailed off.

"Early?" Shawn looked at his daughter in surprise. "Why it's nearly nine o'clock in the morning. Half the morning is already gone."

Kayla gave up and looked over at Steve, who was watching it all with a bemused look on his face. Paying no attention to either of them, Shawn sat down on the couch and began humming a song to Stephanie.

Shaking his head, Steve headed for the kitchen. "I'm going to get some coffee going," he said as he left. Pausing at the doorway he asked Shawn, "Would you like to stay for breakfast?"

"Just coffee for me," Shawn replied. "I had my breakfast already."

Kayla heard Steve grumble something under his breath and tried to stifle a grin. Sitting down next to Shawn, she again asked, "So what does bring you by this morning?"

Turning to her, Shawn smiled broadly. "Do I need a reason to visit my beautiful daughter and her family on a fine Saturday morning?"

"Of course not, Pop." Kayla hesitated. "It's just been awhile since you just stopped by for a visit, I guess."

"I know, darlin'," Shawn's expression grew serious. "Sometimes even an old man needs a reminder about what is really important. When you and Kimmie were gone, well. . . ." He stopped for a moment as if trying to control his emotions. "I just want you to know how much I love you."

"I know, Pop." Kayla smiled as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I love you too."

Shawn put his arm around Kayla's shoulders, pulled her to him, and kissed the top of her head. Then he released her and stood up, still holding Stephanie. "Now . . . I'm going to go see what is taking that husband of yours so long with the coffee."

Kayla chuckled and nodded, then watched her father head into the kitchen. When he was gone, she leaned back against the back of the couch. She knew this was her Pop's way of trying to apologize for the harsh words they had exchanged after Shane's arrest. She was equally certain that, in his own way, Shawn was currently apologizing to Steve as well.

Sighing, Kayla stood up and moved to join her family in the kitchen. Maybe it was not how she expected to spend this Saturday morning, but she had her family around her and that was really all that mattered.


	358. Chapter 358

Kim had stayed in Shane's room for a few hours after she and Neil had told him about Jeannie. Shane had dozed off a few times, waking each time to find Kim beside him. The last time he had woken, he tried to broach the subject of the kidnapping, but Kim just smiled and told him that they could discuss things when he was stronger. Then Neil poked his head in, apologized, and asked Kim if she could help with a child who had just been brought into the clinic.

Shane actually was grateful to be alone for a little while. This was the first time he was able to process what he had been told that morning. And it was all rather hard to digest.

The news about Jeannie had left him bewildered, angry, frustrated and, more than anything else, guilty. How many times had he said that he felt drawn to Jeannie? Now he knew why. All those times he had thought about how much he had wanted a baby daughter, and there she was. . . .

_Only there you were, pushing her away._

Shane shook his head. How had Cal Winters played him for such a fool?

At this point, though, it hardly mattered. What mattered is that Shane had thrown away a chance to spend the first year of his daughter's life with her. He thought about how he had barely been able to look at Jeannie not that long ago. Had she felt that? Would she grow to hate him for rejecting her?

_You've got a lot to make up to her._

To her, and to Kim. He thought about how cold he had been to her during her pregnancy. She had lied to him - true - but she also had been afraid. And with good reason considering how he had treated her when he had been duped into believing Winters' lie.

"Dad."

Shane looked up to see Eve in the doorway. He smiled and spoke in a voice that still surprised him with how weak it sounded. "Sweetheart, come in."

Eve walked over to the chair, sat, and brushed back some of her hair from her face. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "The better for seeing you. Not that I'm altogether happy at the reason for your coming home."

"I had to. After what they told me happened . . . and who was making decisions for you. . . ." Eve scowled a bit as she finished.

Shane's sigh turned into a grimace as his ribs pushed against the tight wrap. He had briefly witnessed Eve arguing with Kim when he first woke and, even though everything that happened was a bit foggy, he knew his daughter was once again blaming Kim for everything.

"Eve, please . . . can't you just let it go?"

Eve shook her head. "How can I? Look at you. You nearly died because of her."

"Stop." Shane's voice rose sharply. "I know you and Kim don't see eye-to-eye, and maybe there's nothing I can do about it. But you need to understand something." Shane started to take a deep breath, but then remembered his ribs and stopped it short. He took a minute to think before he tried to explain. "You haven't been here, so you don't really know what's happened."

He thought about rescuing Steve, all of the conflict at Donovan Manor and how it continued when they returned to Salem, his mission in Iraq, the arrest and, finally, the kidnapping. So much had happened in the past few months.

"A lot's changed, sweetheart. It's made me think a lot and I've realized what's truly important to me. And that's not the ISA or whatever mission I happen to have at the time." Shane smiled softly at his daughter. "What's important is my family. You and Andrew . . . Jeannie-"

Eve scoffed as she interrupted him. "Don't tell me you're falling for that lie?"

"It's not a lie," Shane said evenly. "Neil confirmed it against Jeannie's medical records. Jeannie is part of my family, but even if she wasn't my biological daughter, even before I knew the truth, I had already decided that we were going to raise our family together."

"We?" Eve gave him a dubious look.

"Me and Kimberly." Shane's eyes fixed on Eve's. "I love her, Eve. I love her and I've realized that I was a fool to push her away. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I have a lot to make up to them."

Eve shook her head. "But every time you're with her, she hurts you."

What Eve was saying was true, but she did not understand. "Maybe there's some truth to what you're saying, but that's part of loving someone as deeply as I love Kim. Yes, there are times when things are painful, but they are outweighed by the other times. For the longest time, I've tried to avoid being hurt, but do you know where that leads?"

"No," Eve replied.

"It leaves you alone," Shane said simply. "And that's not how I'm going to live anymore."

Eve sat back in her chair. "So, like that, you're going to go back to Kimberly and have your perfect little family."

Shane could hear the jealousy in Eve's tone. "Eve . . . are you worried that this might change how I feel about you?" Eve's silence served as confirmation. "Oh, honey . . . that won't ever happen. You know I love you. Nothing could possibly change that."

"Except for the perfect little girl," Eve muttered, looking down at the floor.

Shane reached out and took Eve's hand. "Do you remember when you first came to Salem and you told me I was your father?"

Eve nodded slightly.

"It was a shock at first, and then I felt so guilty. . . . Here it turned out that I had a daughter and I had missed so much of her life - of your life. I've missed Jeannie's first year, and will probably miss most of the next few. . . ." His voice trailed off at the reminder of the criminal charges still pending. "But maybe I can be the father to Jeannie that I was never able to be with you. Isn't that what you would've wanted, Eve? Isn't it?"

Eve looked up. "I guess. . . ." She sighed. "Look . . . you need your rest. You probably shouldn't be making a lot of decisions right now. What's most important is that you get better."

_As much as I'll ever be able to._ Shane tried to push that thought aside. Marcus had told him earlier that his recovery would be limited. It was just hard for Shane to figure out what that truly meant.

"So why don't you go back to sleep?" Eve suggested, interrupting his thought.

Shane had to concede that he was feeling tired again, and, soon enough, Marcus would return to force Shane to cough some more. He would need his strength for that.

"Okay," he said. "Just . . . do me a favor. . . . Try to be nice to Kim. She's been through a lot, and she's not to blame for what happened." At Eve's scowl, he repeated. "Try. Okay? Try it for me."

Eve responded with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Fine. I'll try." Then she smiled, leaned over and kissed his cheek. "We'll talk about this later - when you're stronger."

As she walked out of the room, Shane sighed. He wished he could find a way to get his daughter to trust Kim, particularly when Kim loved Eve despite all the turmoil she brought to their family.

_Their family_.

The thought made him smile. It was so easy for him to think of them like that, and it felt so right. Shane closed his eyes and began to drift back asleep, as he pictured the five of them - Shane, Kim, Eve, Andrew and Jeannie - together. Eve could try to talk him out of it all she wanted, but she was wasting her breath. They would be a family again. That was all that was important.


	359. Chapter 359

Steve sat down on the couch with a contented sigh. After a nice, if unexpected, breakfast with Kayla's father, they had taken advantage of a beautiful, October day and had taken Stephanie to the park. Now that they were back home, Kayla was putting a very tired little girl down for her nap.

Maybe things are finally starting to get back to normal, Steve thought hopefully. Shane was recovering and seemed to be out of danger. Meanwhile, Kayla was back to work and seemed to be recovering from her ordeal with Cal.

Yet, Steve knew that it was mostly wishful thinking on his part. Alamain was out there somewhere, planning something. Steve had continued to press Abe for more information, but Abe could only tell him that they were "pretty sure" Alamain was holed up in his country.

Steve had even thought about contacting Tarrington directly for more information, but had decided against it. It was unlikely Tarrington would tell him anything, even if Steve used his knowledge of the toxin as leverage. And as much Steve wanted information, he didn't need to put himself back on the ISA's radar right now. Not when he was still trying to figure out how to help Shane.

As if on cue, the phone rang and interrupted Steve's thoughts. He reached for it quickly, not wanting the noise to disturb Stephanie.

"Hello."

"Hey, Steve. It's Mack."

"Mack, what's up dude?"

"Well you asked me to call if I got any information on those Special Forces soldiers you were looking for, right?"

"Yeah. What do you have for me?" Steve asked, hoping for good news of some kind.

"My buddy who owns the bar near the base told me that one of the guys was in there last night. I think he said his name was Deakins. Does that sound familiar?"

Steve tried not to sound impatient. "Yeah, dude. That's one of them."

"Okay," Mack said. "Well my buddy said this Deakins guy was talking about some big family reunion he was going to next week. I guess he said something about having a short week before he left."

Knowing he might have just gotten the break he needed, Steve asked, "Are you sure he said next week?"

"That's what my buddy said," Mack replied. "That's all I know."

"That's more than enough, man," Steve said gratefully. "I don't know who to thank you."

"Another bottle of that good stuff you sent before will do just fine."

Steve chuckled. "It will be there in a few days. Thanks again, dude."

"Sure thing. Later." Mack hung up.

Steve breathed a silent prayer of thanks for the Merchant Marines, and then reached for his wallet. He dug through it until he found the scrap of paper with the name and phone number of the wilderness resort that Jack had learned was owned by Deakins' family.

A few minutes later, Steve hung up the phone with a smile on his face. He had called the resort and booked the last cabin available. The clerk had been apologetic, explaining that most of the resort was booked for a family reunion. Steve had told her, with the utmost sincerity, that he did not mind at all.

Now, all he needed was a plane ticket. He reached for the phone, only to be stopped by the sound of Kayla's voice.

"So where are we going next weekend?"

Steve spun around and saw her leaning against the wall. Kayla had a smile on her face, but Steve could see a fire smoldering in her eyes.

"Sweetness, I . . . uh . . . didn't see you there."

"Obviously," Kayla said, as she walked towards him. "Are you going to answer my question?"

Steve sighed, knowing there was no way to avoid the coming battle. "You know I've been trying to find a way to contact the soldiers who rescued me, right?" At Kayla's nod, he continued. "Well, I figured out a way to do it. So I'm going to Georgia next week to talk to one of them."

At Steve's words, the smoldering fire in Kayla's eyes immediately broke out in open flames. "So you're just going to go by yourself. Were you even going to tell me about it?"

"Of course I was going to tell you," Steve said. "I just got the information right before I called to book the cabin at the resort. I needed to move quickly, that's all."

"Okay. . . ." Kayla sounded only slightly mollified. "But I'm not going to let you go by yourself. I'm going with you."

"Baby-" Steve started to protest.

"No, Steve," Kayla interrupted. "Have you forgotten how the ISA came after you the last time they thought you were trying to contact those soldiers? There is no way I'm letting you go alone. I'm not going to sit at home wondering if you're just going to disappear again."

Steve was silent for a moment. As much as he wanted to keep Kayla out of this, he knew she was right about going alone. If, somehow, the ISA did get wind of this, they might decide it would be better to make him disappear for awhile. If someone else was there, that would be a lot harder to accomplish.

"Okay," he finally said. "I won't go alone. But I don't want you getting involved in this. I'll see if I can get Bo to go with me."

"You don't want me involved in this?" Kayla scoffed. "I'm already involved. You're my husband. That makes me involved whether you like it or not."

"I know," Steve said. "I just don't want you in any kind of danger." He held up his hands. "I'm not saying this trip is dangerous. I don't think it is. I'm just trying to keep you out of it for your own protection."

Kayla ran a hand across her face and took a deep breath. "I know that you want to protect me, but don't you understand that trying to shut me out things like this doesn't do that? It's just makes me even more scared because I don't know the truth about what is going on." Her voice caught. "You did it with the Riverfront Raider case, remember? You kept promising that there wasn't any danger and that you had everything under control." She looked at Steve with unshed tears shining in her eyes. "I won't go through that again. I just won't"

Steve closed his eye, knowing that there were some wounds that might never fully heal. Stepping forward, he pulled Kayla to him. "All right, baby. If this is what you need to do, we'll do it together."

Kayla looked up at Steve. "Thank you," she said softly.

"No, baby . . . . Thank you." Steve smiled down at her. "Besides, I'd much rather spend a couple of days holed up in a wilderness camp with you than with Bo."

Kayla laughed and then softly stroked Steve's face. "You know, we haven't taken a trip with just the two of us in a long, long time."

Steve grinned. "I'm not sure a wilderness retreat is what I had in mind for some alone time with you, but I bet we can make the best of it."

Kayla leaned up and kissed Steve softly at first, then more deeply. "I have no doubt that we can find a way to make it work just fine." She kissed him again and then pulled away.

"Where are you going, baby?" Steve croaked, feeling his blood stir.

Kayla just smiled. "I thought maybe it was a good time for a nap. Care to join me?"

Steve glanced at the phone. _Screw it. I'll make the flight reservations later._ In two long strides he reached Kayla and swept her into his arms. "I'd love to join you for a nap, baby. I just hope you weren't planning on sleeping."


	360. Chapter 360

"Are you sure it's okay?" Kim asked Marcus once more.

He smiled and motioned with his head to the door. "Go ahead. It'll be good for him."

"He's physically okay?"

"Kim, it's okay." Marcus chuckled at her hesitance. "He's probably hurting. I changed the pain meds a little, and we had him walking just a little while ago. But this is probably just what he needs."

Kim understood. Over the past few days, ever since Shane had woken up, the doctors had been pushing him to get out of bed and walk. During Kim's visits, Shane had tried to keep up a brave front, but she could tell that he was in pain and struggling with how weak he was. And, knowing Shane, the effort of keeping up a front was taking a toll on his psyche as well.

He was never a man to think of his limits. Kim thought back to when they first met and the casual way Shane joked about the danger he faced. He was always supremely confident in his plans and never seemed to feel fear. He had joked about death, but Kim doubted he had ever really thought about being injured permanently. Even when he had been shot before, Shane recovered quickly. Now, however, he was facing a lengthy recovery and even that would not be fully successful. Kim knew that was a hard prognosis for Shane to accept, and each day of weakness would only hammer home in Shane's mind that he would never be the same as before the shooting.

"Kim?" Marcus' voice intruded into her thoughts.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You'll wait here?"

Marcus nodded. "Until you say the word."

Turning, Kim knocked lightly on the door of Shane's room and then entered, pulling the door closed behind her. She hesitated when she realized Shane was not alone; Eve was sitting in the chair beside his bed.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she asked.

Shane smiled. "No, of course not. Eve was just giving me the low-down on her adventures in Africa." Despite his cheery expression, Kim could see the tightness in Shane's jaw and how pale he was. She could tell he was making an effort to hide his pain.

"Well, if you don't mind. . . . I have a bit of a surprise for you." She looked from Shane to Eve, waiting for a hostile response from the girl.

To Kim's surprise, Eve looked back placidly. "Go ahead - as long as it's a good surprise."

There was a slightly snide undertone, but it dawned on Kim that her exchanges with Eve the past few days had been less hostile than previously. Maybe, now that Shane was awake, Eve was letting some of her anger go. Then Kim remembered the reason she was there and turned back to the door.

"Okay, Marcus," she called out. "Come on in."

The door opened a crack, just enough for Andrew to race into the room. "Daddy," he cried out in excitement.

Shane's excitement was equally plain. "Oh, Andrew!" he said. "Come here and give your old man a hug."

Andrew hesitated slightly as he took in the IV tubes and other equipment in the hospital room. Then he looked at Kim.

Crouching down beside her son, she said, "Remember what I said? It's okay, but you just have to be careful so you don't jostle Daddy too much."

"Don't worry," Shane added. He grimaced as he sat up a little more in the bed. "Come on over here, Sport."

At Shane's urging, Andrew crossed to the bed and scrambled onto the chair that Eve vacated so he could reach Shane. Tentatively, Andrew climbed onto the edge of the bed and gave Shane a hug.

"I missed you, Daddy," he said. "I was so scared."

Shane smiled - a genuine smile, Kim could tell. "I've missed you too." He looked up at Kim, the same smile on his face. "Thank you."

"Oh, I'm not done," Kim said. _Not by a long shot. _She stepped through the door to where Marcus was standing. He was holding Jeannie in his arms and passed her to Kim. Turning back, Kim walked back into the room.

"Your daughter wants to see her daddy too."

Shane looked up from the bed, his eyes fixed on Jeannie. He swallowed tightly and Kim could see the mix of emotions at play in his expression.

"I . . . I don't know. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off. Then, nervously, he asked, "What do I say?"

Kim carried Jeannie to the bed. With a smile, she said, "I don't think you need to say anything. I think it's time for you to hold your baby girl."

"Uh huh," said Marcus, who was standing just inside the doorway. "No lifting."

"What if I just held her for a minute?" Shane's question sounded almost like he was pleading.

Marcus relented. "Okay, but just a minute, and I don't want you lifting her."

As Shane nodded, Kim carefully lowered Jeannie into Shane's arms. He really was not lifting her. Propped against the pillows, he was mainly bracing her between his arm and chest.

"There you go, sweetheart," he said softly. Kim could not hear any other words. She just heard Shane's voice, low and quiet. Jeannie watched him, transfixed, then broke into a big smile.

"I think she's happy to see you," Kim said.

Shane looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Once again, he said, "Thank you." His voice broke with emotion.

Kim started to reply, but Andrew interrupted. "Mommy said you're Jeannie's daddy too."

"That's right," Shane said. Quietly, he added, "Jeannie's my daughter."

"Does that mean we're going to be a family again?" Andrew looked at Kim first, then at Shane.

_That's the $64,000 question, isn't it_? Kim asked herself. She felt that unease that had been plaguing her since the night of Shane's shooting. "Well-"

"Yes, it does," Shane said, with a degree of certainty that Kim did not feel. He smiled at Andrew then up at Kim. "We're going to be a family, just like we used to be."

Kim felt her heart flutter, unsure about how to respond. She was so uncertain. She loved Shane; that was not in doubt. She just did not know if she could trust him. Would he push her away again?

But she found herself unable to say that as she looked into Shane's eyes. They gleamed with almost as much hope as Andrew's.

There was no way she could dash that hope right now.

So instead of saying anything, Kim just smiled softly at the picture of Shane with their two, beautiful children - Andrew seated beside him and Jeannie nestled in the crook of his arm.

_I want that so much. I want us to be a family. I just don't know._

Shane obviously took her smile as a sign that she agreed. He looked back at a beaming Andrew and repeated, "That's right, Sport. We're going to be a family again."


	361. Chapter 361

Kayla walked quietly down the hall toward Shane's hospital room. Having talked to Kim daily over the past several days, she knew that Shane was recovering slowly, but surely. However, Kayla had deliberately stayed away to allow Shane time to rest and reconnect with Kim.

But now that things seemed to have settled down, she knew she needed to talk to him. So much had happened, and she could not forget that her last words to him before the shooting were begging him to go and save Steve.

Approaching the door to Shane's room, Kayla paused as she heard laughter from inside. Looking in the tiny window in the door, she saw Shane, his arm wrapped around Jeannie, with Andrew seated on the edge of the bed.

Kayla watched the scene for a moment, feeling a tear in her eyes. She knew how much this must mean to Shane to hold Jeannie, finally knowing she was his daughter. She could see the emotion in his eyes, even from the distance. But more than that, she saw a peace in his eyes that she had not seen in a very long time, if ever.

Knowing she did not want to disturb the family moment, Kayla turned away from the door and suddenly came face-to-face with Eve.

"Eve!" she said in surprise. "I . . . I didn't see you there."

Eve did not acknowledge Kayla at first. Instead, she looked in through the window. Then she turned back to Kayla. "Quite the little family scene, isn't it?"

Kayla's eyes narrowed slightly at Eve's sarcastic tone. "It's your family too, you know?"

Eve scoffed and walked away from the door. "No. . . . That's Kimberly's family, not mine."

Kayla followed. "Eve," she said softly, as they came to a stop a few steps away from the door. "Your father loves you. You know that."

Eve rolled her eyes, but Kayla caught the emotion in them anyway. "Sure, my father loves me. But that doesn't mean I fit into that pretty picture in that room." Kayla heard Eve's voice break slightly. "Just look at them, Kayla. It's the perfect, complete, little family."

Kayla's heart caught at Eve's words. She knew that Eve had caused a lot of problems for Shane and Kim over the years. And she knew that since her recent return, Eve had caused even more for Kim. But Kayla also knew what it felt like to be on the outside. Maybe not in the same way, but she knew.

"You're wrong about that, you know." Kayla placed a hand on Eve's shoulder.

Eve just shrugged. "So you say. You, my dad, Kimberly. . . . You all say the same thing, but it's not like they've even noticed I left the room."

Kayla wondered how she could reach the insecure, defensive young woman. Kayla had never really had to deal with Eve like this. During the time that Kayla had been with Shane, Eve had mostly accepted their relationship and generally had been too busy with her own crazy life to interfere with Shane's.

"I wish I knew what to say to convince you that you are a part of this family," Kayla said quietly. "And a part of the family in that room."

Eve smiled, genuinely this time. "There's nothing you can say, Kayla." Eve paused. "I just wish . . ." Her voice trailed away.

"What?" Kayla asked, pushing the girl to open up. "What do you wish?"

"Do you really want to know?" Eve's voice took on a harsher tone.

Kayla nodded.

"I wish that Kimberly had never come back from L.A., okay?" Eve nearly snarled. "I know she's your sister, but things were so much easier when she was gone and when you and my dad. . . ." She stopped again.

Kayla closed her eyes for a moment to gather her strength. Then they popped open. Maybe she finally had her opening.

"Why was it easier when Shane and I were together?" she asked.

Eve looked surprised at Kayla's question. "I don't know," she slowly answered. "It just was."

"Did you feel like part of the family then?" Kayla pressed. "Did you resent me like you do Kim?"

Eve shook her head vigorously. "Of course not. You were great. When you and Stephanie were there, it was like a real family."

"So why was it so easy for you to accept me and Stephanie in your father's life, but so hard for you to accept Kim . . . and Jeannie?" Kayla decided she was not going to give up on this.

"Because Kimberly is always hurting my dad," Eve exclaimed. "Come on, Kayla. You've seen it. How many times has she lied to him or left him? You didn't do that."

"No," Kayla agreed. "I didn't hurt him like that." She looked directly in Eve's eyes. "Because I couldn't. In order to be hurt that much, you have to love somebody that much. I could never have hurt your father like Kim did, simply because he could never love me like he loves her." Kayla paused and then continued, "And I think, somehow, you knew that too."

Eve turned away and waved her hand dismissively. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yeah, I think you do." Kayla was undeterred. "You didn't mind me being around because you knew I was no threat to your place in your father's life. But, for some reason, you've always viewed Kim as a threat."

Eve scoffed again. "Really, Kayla. I think you're being a little over-dramatic."

"No, I'm not." Kayla's voice was soft, but confident. "That's really what this has always been about, isn't it?" She approached Eve again. "Can't you see that Kim loves you, even with all the problems the two of you have had? She's not a threat to you. She never has been."

Eve just shook her head. "I know you're trying to help, Kayla, but you really have it all wrong."

Kayla took a deep breath. She hated to give up, but Eve was obviously not going to listen right now. "Okay," she said, putting up her hands. "You win." She turned to leave and then stopped, not being able to leave without one more try.

"Just remember one thing," she said, turning back to face Eve. "Your father, your brother, and Kimberly love you. And so will Jeannie if you give her a chance. A lot of people never know that kind of love from their family. And the only person keeping you from knowing it . . . is you."


	362. Chapter 362

There have been some comments about Eve in this story and I wanted to offer a couple of thoughts. Generally, I see Eve in this story in much the same way Kim and Kayla have viewed her. In my eyes, she is still a little girl who spent a lifetime hoping to find her father and, once she found him, she experienced something she had never had before - unconditional love. But that comes with a downside, namely, she fears losing that love. As a result, she has often viewed Kim as something of a threat.

Eve's relationship with Kim is interesting to me, because in the show's canon, she went from hating Kim with a vengeance in 1987 and early 1988 to becoming part of the family from late 1988 through fall of 1989. But then Shane "died" and Eve lost the one thing that had become a stabilizing force in her life. Undoubtedly, Kim still loved Eve, but that could never replace Shane and Eve was terrified and felt abandoned. (There is a wonderful scene between Eve and Steve of all people, where he calls Eve out about her behavior toward Kim and Cal and forces her to admit that she feels lost and is angry at Shane for leaving her.) So in the immediate aftermath of Shane's "death," Eve lashed out at Kim. Then, when Kim got together with Cal and did things like remove all the pictures of Shane from the downstairs of the mansion, Eve felt that Kim was betraying Shane's memory.

As I see it, Kim and Eve's relationship never recovered from that. Kim left Salem only a few months after Shane regained his memory and when Kim returned in 1991, Eve was hostile toward Kim until she left for Africa with Frankie.

Another element of the hostility, imo, is that Eve has a protective streak when it comes to Shane. The biggest example of it is in her nearly killing Nick after she overheard him planning to kill Shane. And Eve's view that Kim "hurt" Shane is something she actually said to Shane. When he returned from Alamainia to find the divorce papers, Shane was stunned when he opened the envelope, but Eve was virtually celebrating. She then explained that because Kim caused Shane so much pain, Eve cannot pretend to be sorry that Kim is gone. (Shane, btw, absolutely shuts her down, asking her if he asked for her opinion and then tells her to keep it to herself.) That scene, imo, illustrates how Eve views Kim on her return to Salem.

Please note that I'm not defending Eve's behavior toward Kim nor am I saying that Kim deserves Eve's enmity. It's important for readers to understand that when characters say or think things, that is their opinion (and even then, sometimes they don't mean what they say). Those statements do not necessarily reflect the views of the author. But I will say that, just as a lot of the relationships between the characters have changed during the course of this story, Eve's will too. And you might be surprised at the role she still has to play.

Anyway, thank you again for reading - or skimming in the case of some readers ;-). The story is far from over and, hopefully, you will enjoy the rest.

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Reclining on his sofa in his mansion in Alamainia, Lawrence listened to Ivan's report on the latest events transpiring in Salem. He chuckled as Ivan described the Salem Police Department's discovery of his departure.

"It really took them this long to figure it out?" Lawrence raised an eyebrow. "How disappointing. But then I guess we must thank Steve Johnson for that. Had he not paid the estate his little visit, our friends in the ISA and Salem PD might have discovered my departure right away."

"Very true, sir," Ivan said.

Lawrence waited patiently for the next bit of news. Shane Donovan was out of his coma. _Good_. _That means he will be recovered by the time I'm ready for him._

"And there is Katerina's project, sir. We have some interesting news."

Lawrence sat up in his chair. This he wanted to here. "Go ahead, Ivan."

"Yes . . . As you know, Katerina has been working on a secret project through the University Hospital immunology lab."

"That's right." Lawrence had been told that while he was in prison.

Ivan nodded. "Our sources at the hospital say that she has been receiving large deliveries. Although the deliveries themselves have no identifiable source, we have traced them to a private laboratory in Washington, D.C."

"And?" Lawrence waited for more.

"The laboratory is run by a woman named Lindy Bowers," Ivan explained. "She is a top researcher, noted for her expertise in biochemical agents. She has no known ISA connections though."

Lawrence shook his head. "That hardly matters. We can hardly chalk this up to coincidence. We always figured that Steve Johnson told the ISA about the testing he underwent. It is not surprising that they are working with experts in toxins." He stood up from his chair and walked toward the window, which overlooked the ocean. "So what do we know about these deliveries?"

Ivan did not answer immediately, which told Lawrence the answer.

"So not much, I suppose," Lawrence said. He tried to think about what the ISA might send to Salem as part of Katerina's research? Test subjects? Venoms? Anti-venoms? It probably made no real difference to Lawrence. He had been assured by his biochemical expert that his toxin would, at best, only be arrested by the old anti-venoms. And that required immediate administration of those drugs. Only the true antidote would actually stop Lawrence's toxin, and he was sure the ISA did not have the formula. Indeed, only one man knew the formula - and he was busy at Lawrence's secret laboratory in Mauritius.

Still, Lawrence had to have some concern about Katerina's project. If she had something capable of impeding the toxin in any way, it could make the toxin appear less lethal than it needed to be for his prospective buyers. They wanted a poison that could kill in minutes. If it could be slowed, they might look elsewhere. And Lawrence could not have all of this work be deemed a failure.

Lawrence took a few steps toward the window, then turned and paced back toward the sofa where he had been sitting. "We need a distraction, Ivan. We need Katerina to use what she has in one location, while the true test is being conducted elsewhere."

"What kind of distraction are you envisioning, sir?" Ivan stood impassively as he waited.

Lawrence thought hard. His ultimate demonstration of power would involve a target that would be so devastating, all of Salem would suffer. The decoy would be different, something he could explain to his buyers. Even if not everyone at the decoy site died, Lawrence would just explain that it was designed to give a false sense of security. And the horrifying deaths at the true target would prove just how lethal and effective the toxin is.

His eyes scanned the room and came to rest on a copy of the Salem Spectator sitting on the coffee table near Ivan. Looking at it, Lawrence began to chuckle.

_It's almost too perfect._

Not only would his decoy be explainable, but it would provide a satisfying measure of personal revenge. Lawrence already had his plans for Shane Donovan, but now he could deal with the other people responsible for his imprisonment.

"Sir?"

Lawrence turned back to Ivan, who was waiting for an answer. With a smile, Lawrence said, "I have the perfect distraction. Tell our people in Salem that I want them to watch Jack and Jennifer Devereaux around the clock. I want to know their routines - where they go, when, everything. This will require careful planning and timing, but if all works as planned, our former friends in Salem won't know what hit them."


	363. Chapter 363

Kayla looked through the window in Shane's hospital room and saw that he was alone. After her talk with Eve, Kayla had returned to her office. She had not wanted to interrupt Shane's time with his family, but it now appeared that Kim and the kids had left.

Nodding to the guard outside the door, Kayla opened the door and entered. Shane looked up at the noise.

"Kayla," he said. A smile appeared on his face.

"Hi." Kayla stopped just inside the door. "I hope this isn't a bad time."

"Of course not." Shane motioned her over to the bed. "It's not like I have a lot going on right now."

Kayla walked to the chair beside the bed. Taking a seat beside the bed, she looked Shane over closely. His color appeared good, but she did not miss the grimace as he shifted slightly so that he could face her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Shane sighed and rolled his eyes slightly. "I'm fine."

Kayla grinned at Shane's response. "Why do I get the feeling you're a little tired of that question?"

Shane gave an apologetic grin in return. "I'm sorry. It's just that if I had a nickel for every time I've been asked that same bloody question the last few days, I'd be a very wealthy man. Or an even wealthier man, I guess."

"We're all just worried about you," Kayla replied. "You gave us all quite a scare, you know."

"I know." Shane looked closely at Kayla. "Marcus says I have you to thank for being here. He said if it weren't for you taking care of me at the hanger, I wouldn't have even made it to the hospital. Thank you for that."

Kayla felt a wave of guilt wash over her. "Don't thank me," she said, shaking her head. "You wouldn't have been hurt if it weren't for me."

"What are you talking about?" Shane sounded confused. "You didn't have anything to do with my getting shot."

Kayla should have been surprised at Shane's response, but she wasn't. "It's okay, Shane. You don't have to deny it. We both know that you went to help Steve because I begged you to." She averted her eyes from his and looked at her hands. "I practically guilted you into it."

Unable to stop herself, Kayla looked up when she heard Shane chuckle softly. He caught her glance. "You didn't guilt me into anything, Kay. Whether you would have said anything or not, I wouldn't have left Steve in that hanger."

Kayla stared at him curiously. "But you were working on the lock until I begged you to go."

Shane nodded. "Yes. I wanted to get you and Kim out if I could, but that blasted lock wouldn't open." He smiled again. "Come on, Kay. You know me. I wouldn't have left Steve there even if you'd been home safe with Stephanie."

Kayla lowered her eyes again. "I guess . . . I just shouldn't have said what I said. I shouldn't have been thinking only of Steve . . . and myself."

"It's okay," Shane replied. "You were scared and your reaction was perfectly natural." He shifted in the bed again and let out a small gasp of pain. "Bloody ribs," he muttered before continuing. "When Steve and I found the car and realized Andrew had ran into the woods, the only thing I could think of was finding Andrew. In that moment, it didn't matter that you and Kim were in trouble. All that mattered was finding my son."

Kayla looked up once more. "Andrew's a little boy and he was in danger. Of course he was your priority."

"And Steve's your husband and you love him," Shane said firmly. "You think I don't understand that, in that moment, he was your priority?"

Kayla did not respond. She had no idea what to say.

Shane took her silence as an opening to speak again. "No more guilt, Kay. I didn't get shot because of you or anything you said." In a soft voice, he added, "I got shot because I didn't move fast enough. Besides, it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters is that you and Kim are home safe again."

That made Kayla think of something else. "Speaking of Kim, I stopped by earlier and saw her here with Andrew . . . and Jeannie."

At the mention of his children, Shane's eyes lit up with that same happiness and peace that she had seen earlier. "It was a wonderful surprise to see them again," he said. "Holding Jeannie, knowing she's my daughter. . . ." His voice trailed off.

"I'm really happy for you," Kayla said quietly. "For you and Kim both. After everything that has happened, you both deserve it."

"Thank you, " Shane said. "It's all still a little hard to believe sometimes. So much has happened in just a few months."

Kayla thought back to all that had happened. "I know what you mean. . . . Sometimes it feels like the last year was all just a bad dream." Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said. "I . . . I didn't mean that the way it sounded," she stammered.

"It's okay." Shane raised his hand.

"No," Kayla said, forcefully. "It's not okay." She took a deep breath, ran her hand across her forehead, and gathered her thoughts. "I had a lot of time to think when Kim and I were stuck in that hanger and I realized some things."

Shane raised a brow, but did not interrupt.

"One of the things I realized is that no matter what the fallout was, I couldn't regret what had happened between us." Kayla shrugged slightly. "Whatever we were and whatever the cause, you were a bit of happiness in a very difficult time in my life. I will always be grateful for that. And you will always be very special to me, Shane Donovan."

Shane gave her a soft smile. "You and Stephanie were a bright spot in my life too. And seeing you happy again . . . well, that is everything I ever wanted for you."

Kayla nodded. "I hope you know that I want you to be happy too. Not just because Kim is my sister. I want you to be happy because it's what you deserve. I hope you know that."

"I do," Shane said. "And Kim and I are going to be happy. I'm going to make sure of that. We might have to wait a few years to really be together as a family, but it will happen."

"I know it will." Kayla paused to check her watch. "I better get going. Steve's expecting me home for din-"

A loud crash interrupted Kayla's thoughts. In her mind's eye, she saw Cal firing his gun at Andrew and felt the gun against her head.

"Kayla?" Shane was calling her name. "Are you okay?"

She blinked rapidly. Her eyes darted between the doorway where a nurse was kneeling down to pick up the equipment she had dropped and the bed where Shane was looking at her with a worried expression on his face.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "The noise just surprised me, that's all."

Shane's eyes narrowed. "It's more than that. Your face is pale and you were trembling. That's much more than just being surprised."

Kayla stood and moved towards the door. "I think you just can't help investigating things." She tried to maintain a light tone. "I'm really fine. I'm glad you're doing so much better."

"Kay-"

"Take care of yourself, Shane," Kayla called over her shoulder as she walked out of the door. Once outside, she took a few deep breaths.

_You were just surprised. Nothing to worry about._

Her breathing began to return to normal and she rolled her eyes at how silly she must have looked to Shane. Once she was calm, she headed for the elevator.

As she walked, she let a small smile play on her lips as she relived her talk with Shane. After everything that had happened, they both finally seemed to have found some happiness and peace. She had Steve and Stephanie waiting at home for her, and Shane, Kim and their children would be a family again. Finally, everything was the way it should be.


	364. Chapter 364

On the screen, Shane looked down at Jeannie and then into the camera. "But that doesn't matter. It's more important that I'll be able to come home to you and our children. So if letting the world think I'm a traitor will bring me home faster, so be it. I can live with that."

From where she was pacing back and forth in front of the television, Kim watched as Shane briefly looked at the ceiling and then said, "Three years. It'll be hard being away. I know that'll be hard for you too, and for the kids, but when that's over, we'll be a family again."

Kim hit the pause button, as she continued to pace around the library. _We'll be a family again_. Shane had said the same thing the day before when Kim had taken the children to see him, and Kim had spent a sleepless night hearing that over and over in her mind.

And she had spent the day at the abuse clinic thinking how she should go by Shane's room to discuss her feelings about what he had told Andrew. But she had been unable to bring herself to do it, because she did not know what she would say if he began discussing their future as a family. Shane was still so weak and she was afraid that, if she had showed any doubt, it might cause a setback in his recovery.

_How could he say that_? _How could he assume that_?

The day before, Kim had only felt nervous and uncomfortable about Shane's words, but over the course of the night, she had began to resent them. And that just made her feel guilty for harboring resentment toward Shane. He had barely survived and was still injured - and she was angry because he was making assumptions about their future.

_A future you told him you wanted._

So maybe there was reason for Shane to assume what he did. As Kim had watched the video again, she heard him echo so many of the things that she had said over the past few months. Most importantly, he had talked about trusting their love, which was what she had accused him of being unable to do that horrible morning when he had pushed her away after they made love.

And that was what was making it so hard for her. She heard Shane on the video and she had been witness to what he said to Andrew the day before, but her mind kept picturing that morning in their bedroom. She heard him question her fidelity and saw him pull away from her right after she told him that she trusted their love.

The Shane Donovan in the hospital, Kim had no doubt, truly believed that everything could change and they could have an idyllic life as a family. But how long would that Shane Donovan remain? When life did not turn out so idyllic, would he decide he could no longer trust Kim? Would he bring up her past again?

And if he found out what she had planned to do with Cal to save Kayla? Would he understand that? Could he forgive it?

Kim set down the remote and stared at the television. _Why can't I trust you_? she asked. _Why can't I trust us_?

She recognized the irony. Before, it had been Shane who was unwilling to trust their love. Now, she was the one who was hesitant.

From behind her came a knock on the library door. Kim turned around to see Simmons in the doorway.

"Excuse me, Madame," he said. "I just wanted to let you know that the children have finished their dinner."

Kim nodded. "Thank you, Simmons." It was only when he did not step out of the room that she realized there was more on his mind. "Is there something else?"

"Um . . . Master Andrew asked about his father," Simmons said. "I did not hear any news today, so I thought you might be able to tell him."

Kim looked down, trying to hide her discomfort. "I would, but I didn't get a chance to see him earlier." Seeking an excuse, she lied. "I had a . . . a bit of a crisis at the clinic."

"Oh, I see, Madame." Simmons pursed his lips. "I do know that Master Andrew was asking about when he could visit the hospital. Perhaps you could go tonight. I could watch Miss Jeannie."

_How do I answer that_? Kim wondered. She hated lying to Simmons, but she also did not feel comfortable seeing Shane right now - especially if Andrew was going to be there.

"I'm not sure I should," she said, quickly trying to come up with another excuse. "I think I'm coming down with something and . . . well, I don't think it's a good idea. That's the last thing Shane needs."

She held her breath, hoping that sounded convincing.

It must have, because Simmons just nodded. "Very well, Madame. Master Andrew will be disappointed."

Kim knew that was true, but then she had an idea. "Simmons, why don't you take Andrew to see Shane? It's only 6:30 and you could be back before his bedtime. That way he can see his father and we won't have to worry about me giving Shane this cold or whatever it is."

She caught a look of doubt on Simmons' face, but it disappeared quickly. "Of course," he said. "I will collect Master Andrew."

"Great," Kim replied as she watched Simmons leave. Then she closed her eyes momentarily. She hated this uncertainty. She wanted to be able to tell Shane she loved him and they would have a happy future together. In her heart, she wanted that more than anything.

But her doubt was still there.

Opening her eyes, she looked once more at the television and Shane's earnest expression from the video. She needed to think some more. Jumping back into a relationship and acting like everything was fine would be just like when Shane recovered his memory. Kim would not repeat that mistake. She picked up the remote once more and clicked the "power" button. The image of Shane disappeared as the screen went dark.

"I'm sorry, Shane," Kim whispered. "I'm just not sure."


	365. Chapter 365

Steve opened the door to Shane's room and stopped short when he saw it was empty. Spinning around, he found a passing nurse and asked if she knew where Shane was. With a roll of her eyes, she motioned over her shoulder.

"See if you can talk some sense into him," the nurse muttered.

Steve followed her gaze and spotted Shane, who was leaning heavily against the nurse's station. He was wearing pajama bottoms and a robe, and grasping a stand that held some IV bags. As Steve walked closer, he saw that Shane was extremely pale and sweating profusely. Shane also was gasping for air.

"You really think this is the best way to get better?" Steve asked when he reached Shane.

Shane tried to catch his breath, which caused him to cough. He grimaced, in obvious pain, then shook his head. "I'm okay . . . Just need to keep pushing."

"You keep pushing and you're going to push yourself right back into that bed - and for a lot longer than if you listen to the docs," Steve said. He held out an arm. "Here. . . . Let me help you back."

"No." Shane gave Steve a defiant look. "I'll do it myself."

Steve had to chuckle, remembering how stubborn he had been at Donovan Manor when Shane had offered to help him from the stables to the house. _The shoe's on the other foot now_. Knowing it was futile to push, Steve just waited as Shane took a couple of steps, then caught him as his legs buckled.

"No arguments," Steve said. He helped Shane regain his footing and then slipped Shane's free arm around his shoulders. Putting his own arm around Shane's waist, so as not to jar his ribs, Steve helped Shane take a couple of steps toward the hospital room. When Shane made no further protest, Steve guided him the rest of the way and helped him take off his robe.

Even with the help, Shane was barely able to crawl into the bed. When he finally made it, he fell back heavily onto the pillow and gasped for breath. Steve watched as Shane closed his eyes tight and gritted his teeth, obviously trying to fight off the pain.

Worried, Steve asked, "You need me to get Marcus?"

Shane managed to shake his head. "No," he grunted. "I'm okay."

"If this is okay, dude, I'd hate to see a bad day," Steve joked. Then he remembered why Shane was in that hospital bed._ Great, Johnson. Talk about being a jerk. Especially when this is your fault_. Steve quickly apologized. "Sorry . . . bad joke."

"S'okay," Shane said. His voice was a little stronger and he seemed to be getting control of his breathing. "Only hurts when I walk, laugh, talk . . . and, basically anything else." He turned his head to Steve. "How are you doing?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "You're laid up in the hospital and you're asking about me?"

"Well, I know how I'm doing," Shane said. "So, yes, I'm asking about you. Kim said you were okay. Though I don't know how Cal's shot missed you."

Steve stared at Shane in disbelief. "The shot missed me because you pushed me out of the way and put yourself into the line of fire. Don't you remember that?"

"I guess. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off. "Seems bloody stupid of me, doesn't it?"

Steve could not tell if Shane was joking or serious, but either way, he was right. It was stupid of him to nearly get himself killed, especially when it was all Steve's fault. "I'm . . . I'm sorry," he said haltingly. "If I hadn't screwed up, none of this would've happened. . . ." When Shane did not respond, Steve wondered if Shane even remembered what happened. "You probably don't remember that well. . . . I was supposed to wait for a signal from you, but I rushed in early and got caught in Cal's trap. That's why you had to save my ass - again." Steve looked down. "I know I really blew it, dude. I wish I could make it up to you. It's my-"

"Oh, for God's sake." Shane groaned. "Would you just put a sock in it?"

"What?"

Shane rolled his eyes. "You and Kayla . . . the pair of you."

Steve was unable to keep the edge out of his voice. "What about Kayla?"

"She was here the other day and going on about how it was her fault I got shot," Shane said, sounding exasperated. "Because she asked me to help you. And now I've got to hear you prattle on about how you're responsible."

"Come on, Donovan," Steve insisted. "If I hadn't gotten caught in Winter's trap, you wouldn't be here."

Shane grimaced a little as he forced himself to sit up a bit in the bed. "You know, Steve, I'm not exactly an amateur at these type of things. If I got shot, it's because I miscalculated. Probably my bloody timing."

"But what about the signal?"

"What about it?" Shane asked. "I assume if you didn't wait, you had a reason." He seemed to search his memory. "I did tell you to wait, didn't I?"

Steve nodded ruefully. "About five times. . . . But then I saw Winters heading to the back door and I knew you were probably there, trying to get Kayla and Kim out. I figured I'd distract him."

Shane pursed his lips. "So you thought we were in danger and you went in?"

"Yeah."

Wincing again, Shane leaned forward. "And what do you think I'd have done if our situations were reversed? You think I'd have done anything bloody different? So would you stop blaming yourself? Just like I told Kayla. I didn't go into that hangar because she wanted me to; I went in there because I made the decision that it was the best thing to do." Shane looked at Steve. "Just like I know that you would have come in after me if the positions were reversed."

Steve had no idea how to respond. He had expected Shane to be pissed off and to blame Steve for what had happened. But Steve also knew Shane was right. Steve would have gone in after Shane if the positions were reversed. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and shrugged. "Maybe you're right . . . but I'm still sorry this happened."

"Now that, I can agree with," Shane said. "But what matters is that Kim and Kayla are safe and Winters can't hurt anyone ever again."

Steve nodded. Changing the subject, he asked. "So how are you really doing?"

Shane sat back and took a short breath. "Okay, I suppose. I'll be glad when I can get out of this bloody hospital and get back to normal - or whatever normal is going to be from now on." A small, humorless smile crossed his face. "You'll think this is foolish, but do you know what I keep thinking?"

Steve shook his head. "No. What?"

"I keep thinking that there's no way now that I'll ever be able to go back to being a ISA field operative." Shane shook his head. "Stupid, I know. Like I had any semblance of a future with the ISA as it was."

Steve looked away. He still felt responsible for Shane's arrest, and knew the ISA had been a major part of Shane's life for years. Having that torn away couldn't be easy, even if Steve thought Shane was better off without the ISA messing with his life.

"Do you remember the day we rescued you from Alamain's compound?" Shane's question interrupted Steve's thoughts. "When was it? Not even three months ago. . . ."

"Of course." Steve could hardly forget that day, though he wondered where Shane was going with his questions.

Shane glanced up at the ceiling. "I don't know if I ever told you this . . . but to avoid detection, the Blackhawks dropped us five miles from the compound. It was over 100 degrees and we had on 25 pounds of body armor . . . but, damned if I didn't keep up with them. Five miles of running through a desert with a bunch of Green Berets." He closed his eyes momentarily, then sighed. "Just a couple months ago; now I can barely make it to the bathroom 10 feet away."

Steve understood how Shane felt. He remembered how hard it had been when he was recovering at Donovan Manor. Steve had hated feeling weak and dependent on others. Trying to sound encouraging, he said, "You're going to get stronger. Come on, dude. You know you'll get better."

Shane responded with a short nod. "I know. And it's funny, really. I know it sounds like I'm obsessing over the ISA, but that's not really even it. It's more habit, really, to measure myself like that. And there's so much that's more important than the ISA." Then he gave Steve a knowing look. "Do you remember when you said that to me - 'some things are more important than the ISA'?"

Steve had to search his memory, but could not place it. Hell, Steve had thought that plenty of times. He just did not remember when he said it to Shane.

"With Jericho." Shane answered the question for Steve. "When we were in that cave, debating whether to trade Jericho for Marcus. You said, 'some things are more important than the ISA.'" Shane fell silent for a minute. "That's something I remembered the night Tarrington showed me that picture of you in Alamain's camp and I had to decide whether to take the mission. 'Some things are more important than the ISA.' I think these last few months have really taught me to believe that."

Steve was confused. This was about the last thing he had ever expected to hear from Shane. "Are you okay, dude? This doesn't sound like you. Maybe you've got your pain meds too high."

Shane chuckled, then grimaced in pain. "Don't . . . don't make me laugh." He took a moment to recover, before he looked back at Steve. "I'm serious. If not for the past few months, I'd have probably spent the rest of my life jumping whenever the ISA called and what's really important - my family - would have always come second." Shane shook his head. "Bloody hell, if not for the past few months, I'm not even sure what kind of family I would've ever had. It certainly wouldn't have had Kim in it . . . and I'd have probably never found out the truth about Jeannie."

"So. . . . What? Getting shot and almost killed is a good thing now?" Steve shook his head in disbelief. "You really do need to cut back on those meds."

"Fine. Go ahead and keep making jokes." Shane said that with a touch of amusement. "I know what I'm saying. Anyway, it took me a long time to figure things out. But I did and I've got a lot to make up for, especially with Jeannie."

Steve raised his hands. "You don't have anything to make up to her. She's just a baby. She's going to know her papa."

"At some point, probably," Shane said slowly. "I still have the charges against me."

Steve wondered if Shane knew about the hatchet job the ISA had done on him by planting the story that he had been working with Winters. _Forget that_, he told himself. _You've got more important things to discuss._

"Actually. . . ." Steve took a slow breath. "That's actually why I'm here."

There was no way Steve could miss the way Shane's eyes narrowed, but there also was no way Steve could back off from telling Shane what he planned.

"Part of the reason I'm here is that I wanted to tell you I'm heading to Georgia to talk to Deakins," Steve said. "I'm going to find him and I'm going to make sure he comes to Salem to clear your name."


	366. Chapter 366

Shane could not believe what he was hearing. Steve was planning on tracking down Deakins even though Shane had already told him to leave the man alone.

"Dammit, Steve, we've been over this already," Shane's words would have come out as a shout, but he could not muster enough air to raise his voice loud enough.

Steve shook his head. "I know what you said, Donovan, but I think it's a load of crap. I'm not letting the ISA sell you out when there's something I can do about it."

_Why can't Steve understand_? Shane wondered. "This isn't about the ISA," he insisted. "It's about trying to force someone to give up everything. It's not right."

"It is right. And, look . . . I'm not forcing anyone to do anything," Steve snapped. "I'm just going to talk to him. It'll be nice and polite, and I'll feel him out . . . just see what he thinks."

"Bollocks - and you know it. You just said you're going to bring him here. That's-" Shane tried to sit up some more, but he stopped the instant he began to feel a sharp pain lance through his side. "Bloody hell," he gasped, falling back against the pillow.

Immediately, the tone of Steve's voice changed. "Are you okay, dude?"

Shane gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, and forced his breathing to grow shallow. The past few days had taught him a few methods of coping with these sharp pains - "breakthrough pain" was what Marcus called them. No amount of painkillers would stop them. The only good thing was that they eventually passed.

"Yeah," he said tightly. When he managed to open his eyes, Shane saw that Steve had moved to the edge of the bed and was now looming over it.

"Damn. . . ." Steve frowned. "I didn't mean to get you riled up like that."

Shane knew Steve meant it, but it did not change the fact that he was doing something Shane did not want him to. "If you really mean it, don't go after Deakins. Just let the man be."

Stepping away from the bed, Steve took a few steps to his left, then turned and came back. "I'm sorry," he said calmly. "I just can't do that. You've saved my neck twice in the past three months and I can't just sit by and not do anything." He raised both hands when Shane began to protest. "Look . . . I'll just talk to him and see what he says. Maybe I'll even come up with something else. And think about it, Donovan . . . I didn't have to tell you what I'm planning. I just . . . well, I just wanted someone to know where we're going in case something goes wrong."

_Oh no. He doesn't mean what I think he means._ "'Where we're going'? Don't tell me you're going to get Kayla mixed up in this."

"Trust me, I wish I didn't, but you know her." Steve shrugged. "She's not giving me a choice. And it won't be dangerous. Deakins' family is having reunion at some wilderness camp in Georgia. It may be Redneck Central, but the biggest danger will probably be that Kayla comes back singing country music."

"You're forgetting something," Shane said. Steve made it sound so easy, but he was overlooking the biggest danger. When Steve quirked his eyebrow, Shane explained, "The ISA. Remember them?"

Steve laughed out loud. "Oh . . . Them. You know, I'm not sure I ever told you about my little meeting with Tarrington. It was the day Kayla and Kim got taken, so I was a little preoccupied. But your former boss and me came to a little understanding."

Now Shane was confused. _What was Steve talking about_?

"You see," Steve continued. "The ISA took their shot, but, well . . . I turned around and took mine." He proceeded to explain how he had set a trap for the ISA agents and sprung it on them, detailing the plan in its minutiae.

"Jack helped?" That came as a big surprise to Shane. Normally, Jack Devereaux just got in the way of things.

Steve nodded. "Came through with flying colors. Next thing you know, I'm in the living room of some house and having a friendly chat with your former boss. I let him know that if he didn't back off, all of Salem - and most of the free world - would find out that the ISA's been hiding information about a lethal poison that Lawrence Alamain plans to use on U.S. citizens."

"You didn't-" Shane started to sit up again, but the pain cut him off.

"Yes, I did." Steve sounded undisturbed by his threat. "I don't owe the ISA a thing, so Tarrington had no way of knowing that I wouldn't start a panic."

Shane rolled his eyes. "You've got to bloody well know that it's just temporary. Tarrington won't just sit back and let this go."

"Yeah, I know." Steve took another few steps. "But it gives me and Kayla time to get in touch with Deakins."

Shane knew there was not further point trying to dissuade Steve from going after Deakins. He just did not like Kayla being involved. Speaking of which, this was a good chance to raise something else. Shane had been worried about Kayla since her visit to his room two days earlier. He just wondered if Steve would take Shane's concern the wrong way.

"About Kayla. . . ." Shane hesitated, seeing Steve tense visibly.

After a moment, Steve just nodded curtly. "Go on."

"She was here the other day and something happened. A nurse dropped a tray and Kayla had some kind of attack."

Steve's eye narrowed. "What do you mean? What kind of attack?"

Shane shrugged. "She got really pale and started trembling. It was like she was someplace else for a minute."

Steve nodded, but said nothing. From the look on Steve's face, Shane could tell this was not new information. Shane sighed. "Kim hasn't really told me anything that happened with Cal, but I gather it was bad."

"Cal threatened to kill her after Andrew escaped - put a gun to her head." Steve looked down at his hands, which flexed into fists. "I'm almost sorry you blew him away. If I could kill the man-"

Shane cut Steve off. "Don't," Shane said. "Forget about Cal. He's rotting in hell where he belongs. Right now, it's Kayla that needs your help." In the back of his mind, Shane wondered if it was just Kayla that needed help. How much help did Kim need? She had insisted that Cal did not hurt her, which had alleviated his unspoken fear that Cal had forced himself on her. But the way Kim had evaded his questions made him think more had happened.

Across the room, Steve appeared similarly lost in thought. He was about to respond when Andrew rushed through the doorway.

"Daddy!"

Shane broke into a wide grin. It never failed - the way Andrew lifted his spirits. "Come here, Champ," he called out.

Andrew vaulted ono the chair next to Shane's bed and gave him a big hug. Then he looked at Steve. "Are you visiting Daddy?"

Steve chuckled. "Yeah, little dude. Your dad and me were just having a little chat."

"Hey," Shane said to Andrew. "Is Mommy here with you?"

Andrew shook his head just in time for Simmons to enter the room. "I'm sorry, Sir, but Madame Brady said she's still feeling under the weather."

Shane tried to hide his disappointment. The night before, when Simmons had brought Andrew for a visit, the butler had said Kim was feeling ill. It was understandable that she would not want to risk Shane's health, but he missed her.

"I'm sure she'll be around to visit soon," Simmons said.

"Of course." Shane turned his attention to Andrew, who was now sitting on the edge of Shane's bed and playing with the buttons of the remote that controlled the TV and nurse's call. Taking it gently from Andrew's hand, Shane asked, "So why don't you tell me about school today?"

Andrew pursed his lips. "It was okay . . . 'cept Billy Watson said he can't play with me anymore."

"Why's that?" The question came from Steve before Shane could ask the same thing.

Andrew looked at Steve. "He said his mommy won't let him because Daddy's a 'traintor.'" Andrew turned back to Shane. "What's a 'traintor'?"

_You had to know it would happen_, Shane said to himself. His eyes locked momentarily on Steve's and then he put a hand on Andrew's shoulder.

"It's 'traitor,'" Shane said gently. "Remember how we talked about what I did to bring Uncle Steve home? That's what some people think it makes me. They think I did something bad to this country and, when you do that, you can be called a traitor."

"But don't you believe any of that damn bull-" Steve caught himself. "Baloney. Your dad's no traitor." Shane could hear the undercurrent in Steve's voice and knew he was going to do what he could to prove it, no matter how much Shane objected.

Shane hoped the caution was plain in his voice as he responded. "Steve. . . ."

"Save your breath, Donovan." Steve stepped over and ruffled Andrew's hair. When Andrew looked up, Steve said, "We're going to prove your dad's no traitor. Don't you worry about it. In the meantime, tell Billy whatshisname that he only wishes he could have a dad that's as much a hero as yours."


	367. Chapter 367

Kim looked up from her paperwork as she heard a knock on her office door. She glanced at her calendar, a little surprised. Her next appointment was not for another 20 minutes and the client was not someone who tended to arrive early. Curious, Kim called out, "Come in," and waited for her visitor to enter.

The door opened to reveal Kayla. As she entered, she said, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, not at all." Kim got up from her chair and gave her sister a hug. "What brings you by?"

Kayla waited until they were both seated in the chairs at Kim's desk before answering. "Steve and I are leaving town tomorrow for a few days, and I wanted to stop by and see you before we left."

"Oh. . . ." Kim smiled. "Getting a little time away with your husband, huh?"

"Something like that," Kayla replied, but she avoided meeting Kim's eyes.

The alarm bells in Kim's head began to ring. She knew her sister well enough to know that Kayla was holding something back.

"Is something wrong, Kay? Is that why you and Steve are going out of town?"

"What?" Kayla looked up, surprised. "No, not at all. Everything is fine."

Kim could tell Kayla's response was sincere. Whatever she was holding back apparently had nothing to do with Steve, so Kim decided to let it go. "Good. I hope you have fun on your trip. Is Stephanie staying with Mama and Papa?"

Kayla nodded. "That's why I stopped by. I think Stephanie got used to having Andrew and Jeannie around, so I was hoping that while we're gone you could bring them by Ma and Pop's. I thought it might make it easier for Stephanie while we're gone."

Kim smiled. "That's a wonderful idea. I know that Andrew and Jeannie love playing with Stephanie. Things have just been so crazy lately, we haven't had a chance to set up a play date."

Seeing Kayla start to giggle, Kim asked, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing really," Kayla replied. "It's just that I can't believe the two of us are sitting here discussing play dates for our kids." She smiled broadly. "It doesn't seem like that long ago we were just a couple of kids fantasizing about our wedding days."

Kim laughed at her sister's words. "You make us sound like we're old or something."

"Well one of us is older than the other," Kayla said with a wink.

"Oh . . . . That's just mean, little sister." But Kim's tone made it clear that she was not angry.

"Sorry," Kayla replied, still smiling. "It's the only benefit to being the little sister sometimes."

Kim just shook her head. "I'll forgive you this time."

"Thanks." After they finished chuckling, Kayla changed the subject. "So how is Shane doing? I haven't talked to him in a couple of days."

"Good . . . I guess." It was Kim's turn to avoid her sister's eyes.

"You guess?" Kayla's tone made it clear that she did not miss the awkwardness in Kim's answer. "What does that mean?"

Kim shrugged. "I just haven't seen him in a few days. I, uh, I thought I was coming down with something and didn't want to risk Shane getting sick. But Marcus said he's getting stronger and might be able to go home pretty soon."

Kayla stared at her sister for a moment. "What's really going on, Kim?" Kayla leaned forward in her chair. "I know you, and you would never let a little cold keep you from seeing Shane. Unless there is something else stopping you."

"It's no big deal, Kay." Kim was still avoiding Kayla's eyes.

Kayla sighed. "It is a big deal. I know how much you love Shane, and I know he feels the same way about you. So why are you avoiding him now?"

"Because Shane wants to pretend that everything is fixed and we can be one big happy family again," Kim snapped, more harshly than she intended.

Kayla sounded confused as she responded. "You _can_ be a family again. . . . You _are_ a family."

"You don't understand. . . ." Kim needed to move around. She got up and walked across the room. "You just don't understand."

"Then explain it to me, Kimmie. What has you so upset?"

Kim wished she really knew. _How do I explain_?It was all so confusing. "I love Shane so much, it hurts sometimes. There is nothing I want more in this world than to start over with him and our children." She looked at Kayla, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "But I don't know how to trust that he's not going to run again. He says all he wants is our family, but the last time I saw him . . . before he was shot. . . . That's when he told me that it couldn't work between us - that he didn't trust I'd be able to wait for him to get out of prison."

"Kim-" Kayla started to speak.

Kim cut her off. "No. Don't tell me how he loves me, and how he must have changed his mind. I know all of that. But what I don't know is what I'm going to do if he changes it again." She paced around the office, feeling the emotions she had been holding in finally let go. "It's just like when he got his memory back. He was so happy and just wanted to focus on our future." Kim turned to Kayla. "Look how that turned out."

"But things are different now," Kayla insisted. She had risen from her chair and walked over to Kim. "Shane told me once that he knew he made a mistake by not dealing with what happened with Cal when he got his memory back - that it was wrong to try and just pretend nothing had happened." She gave Kim a small smile. "But you two worked through all of that. There is nothing standing in your way anymore."

"Really?" Kim turned away from her sister. "How do you think Shane is going to react when he finds out what really happened in that hanger?" Kim's voice cracked with emotion. "How is he going to feel about me when he learns what I was willing to do?"

_When he learns who I was willing to become again._

"Oh, Kimmie." Kayla stepped close once more and embraced Kim.

Kim could not fight the emotion. She let her sister comfort her as and tears ran down her cheeks.

After a moment, Kayla pulled away and looked into Kim's eyes. "Listen to me. All you did is what you had to do to keep us alive . . . to keep me alive. Shane will understand that. He loves you."

Kim shook her head sadly. "I wish I could be sure of that. But I just don't know, Kay. I just don't know."

Kayla embraced her sister again and then stepped back. "I know you're scared, but you're never going to find out by avoiding Shane. You need to talk to him."

"I know. . . ." Kim wiped her eyes. "It's just that Shane's still recovering and I didn't want to upset him. I wanted to give him a chance to heal first."

Kayla gave Kim an encouraging smile. "I think you both need a chance to heal. And I believe you both need each other to heal. Don't waste any more time. Talk to Shane."

Kim nodded. "I will." She glanced at her watch. It was almost time for her perpetually late patient's appointment. "I hate to do this, but I have an appointment in a few minutes." She took a deep breath. "I need to get myself together before she gets here."

"All right." Kayla walked over to pick up her purse. "I'll call you when we get back into town." She smiled softly. "Remember what I said. Trust Shane. Trust yourself." Then she turned and walked out of the door.

Sighing, Kim walked to her desk, sat down, and pulled a mirror out of her purse. As she began fixing her makeup, she looked into the mirror, at her eyes, and saw her fear reflected back at her. She wanted so much to believe that Kayla was right. But after all that had happened, she was not sure she knew how to trust anymore. Not Shane. And not herself.


	368. Chapter 368

"Do you mind if we come in?"

Shane set down the book he had barely been reading and looked up from his bed. Mickey Horton and Julie Williams stood in the doorway. "Please," he said. "You're always welcome to visit."

"Well. . . ." Mickey shrugged. "This is business, actually, but I was over at Wings having a meeting with Julie and I mentioned I was coming over here next. Since that meant you could actually have visitors outside the family, she insisted on coming."

Shane smiled as Julie gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm glad she did."

"So how are you, Shane, darling?"

As much as he wanted to roll his eyes, as he had done with Kayla, Shane appreciated Julie going out of her way to visit. So he responded with a placid, "Better. Marcus even says I might get out of here pretty soon."

"That's good to hear," she said, a broad grin on her face. "I've been getting some updates from my grandparents and Eve, but they didn't mention that."

At the mention of Eve, Shane frowned a little. He knew his daughter was struggling with his decision to reconcile with Kim and, even more, with jealousy toward her new sister and uncertainty about her own place in Shane's family. "Has Eve talked to you at all?"

"As much as Eve talks to anyone, I suspect," Julie said. "I'm sure she just needs a little time to get used to things. And I'm sure you'll have more of a chance to make her understand when you get home."

Shane hoped so. "Yeah, it'll be good to get home." Then he looked at Mickey. "Though, I guess I have a lot of other things to focus on, don't I?"

Julie took that as a cue to exit. "I don't want to tire you out when Uncle Mickey probably has far more important things to tell you." As she backed toward the door, she said, "Just remember that we're all thankful that you're okay. And I can't wait to see you back on your feet."

Shane decided against describing what that looked like these days, with him huffing and puffing as he struggled with each step. He just nodded as she stepped through the door. "Thanks again for coming by."

After Julie pulled the door closed, Shane motioned to the thick bandages running down the front of his chest and said to Mickey, "So I guess this doesn't get me off the hook, does it?" The question was made in obvious jest.

"No, not quite." Mickey took a seat in the chair next to Shane's bed. "I talked with Louis Pasqua yesterday, and he wanted to put off the trial until you're fully recovered. Frankly, I don't think he likes the case any more than we do, but his bosses are still pushing and insist that we don't delay longer than a month. So it looks like we'll have a trial date in mid- to late-December."

"Merry Christmas," Shane muttered.

Mickey shrugged. "I never said anything about the plea deal, but he raised it yesterday. He said the offer's still in place and he can make sure you get the best medical care-"

Shane raised a hand stopped Mickey in mid-sentence. "You don't need to explain the terms. There's no point."

_This is the right decision_, he said to himself. Since Andrew's visit the day before, Shane had been thinking a lot about the charges and his future. His son was already being condemned as a traitor's son. It had forced Shane to think about what would really happen if he pled guilty. And it wasn't just Andrew being shunned in school. As Shane had thought, he had realized what it would mean for him - and how much he would lose. He took a deep breath and stared down at his hands.

"I don't think I can plead guilty, Mickey. Not now."

Mickey frowned. "I don't understand. But I thought you wanted to. . . ."

It was hard for Shane to understand his own thinking, let alone explain it to someone else. Shane had to think for a few minutes and figure out how to explain. "I held my little girl the other day . . . knowing for the first time that she was my daughter. I've missed the first year of her life and now I'd be missing the next three." _I can't do that to her_. But there was more to it. It was not just Jeannie. It was Kim, Andrew, and Eve, too. "I found my family again, Mickey. I haven't really had my family right since before I got captured by Jericho. How can I just walk away from that now?"

"But you're facing a lot longer sentence if you go to trial and get convicted," Mickey pointed out.

Shane knew that. On an intellectual level, at least, he knew that. But his heart could not accept that compromise. He could not leave his family now. "Possibly the rest of my life . . . I know."

In the back of his mind, though, he reminded himself of the plan he was beginning to form. Something Steve had said the day before had planted an idea in his head, and Shane wanted to give himself a chance to pursue it.

"I know," Shane repeated. "It's a lot to risk, but I can't plead guilty. Not now. I can't leave Kim-."

"What are you talking about?"

Unaware that the door had opened, Shane was surprised to hear Eve's voice. He jerked his head around to see her standing in the doorway, glaring.

"Uh . . . Eve . . ." Mickey stood up from his chair. "Your father and I were having an attorney-client discussion."

"I got that," Eve snapped. "What I don't get is what he's saying." The "he" was clearly Shane, who she faced. "You told Andrew it would just be a few years. So now you're going to risk the rest of your life?"

"Eve." Mickey was trying to play peacemaker, but Shane knew that would not help. With Eve like this, they would not be able to continue discussing the trial.

"It's okay," Shane said to Mickey. "I think you probably should leave us. I know there's more we need to talk about, but right now is probably not the best time." He gave Eve a sidelong glance. She was standing, her hands on her hips and her head cocked slightly so her hair cascaded to the side. With a sigh, Shane looked back to Mickey. "We'll talk soon."

Mickey nodded and headed out of the room, leaving Shane and Eve alone.

"Sweetheart-"

"No, Daddy." Eve stomped over to the bed. "I know you were planning on pleading guilty. That's what Simmons said, and Andrew keeps talking about moving to England."

"I know that's what I told then," Shane said evenly, not feeling like he had to justify his decision to his daughter. "I've changed my mind. That is my prerogative - after all, it is my life we're talking about."

Eve grimaced. "And the rest of us don't matter at all?"

"Of course you matter," Shane replied. "Look . . . I'm not going to go into details with you, Eve. Suffice it to say that you're part of the reason I've changed my mind. You, your brother, your sister, and Kimberly."

Eve rolled her eyes dramatically. "Of course. It's all about Kimberly again."

_Absolutely. _"A lot of it is." Shane looked at Eve. "I know that's hard for you to accept, but that's what I want. . . . That's what I need. I almost threw it away and now I'm getting a second chance to put my life together again with the woman I love. And with our children." He could see Eve look away at that. "That includes you, Eve. I know you've always resented Kimberly, and things were rocky at the start, but she loves you like you were her own daughter."

"I doubt that," Eve muttered.

Shane reached out and touched Eve's arm. He would have taken her hand, but it was just out of reach. "You shouldn't. She loves you, and I love you. And I need you to be part of this family, too. It's not the same without you."

Eve opened her mouth and hesitated before she gave him a rather noncommital, "I don't know. I mean . . . Kim hasn't even visited the past few days."

Shane took in a sharp breath. The way Eve said that made it sound like Kim was avoiding him deliberately. "Kim's just not feeling well and doesn't want to cause any problems for me," he explained. "She'll be back soon."

From the look in Eve's eye, he knew she did not believe that.

"Is there some reason you don't believe Kim?" he asked.

Eve chewed her lip a little. "I don't know. It just doesn't seem like she's that sick when I see her at the house. She sure hasn't stayed away from the abuse clinic. I mean . . . you'd think she'd be worried about getting kids sick. If she loved you so much, she'd be here, even if she just stood in the doorway."

"Eve. . . ." Shane knew he sounded annoyed. "Kim loves me and is just as much committed to rebuilding our family as I am."

Even as he spoke, Shane knew some of his annoyance was frustration at not seeing Kim the past few days. Deep inside, he found himself wondering if there was something wrong. Was it Cal? He had seen the effects of that trauma on Kayla. Was Kim going through the same thing? Had Cal threatened to kill her too?

There also was what had happened to Andrew. That had to have left a deep scar on Kim. Seeing a madman try to kill your child and have him survive only by chance would traumatize any mother. And that was only the first step of the kidnapping.

Beside his bed, Eve sighed. "Fine," she said. "When I get home, I'll let her know she's been missed."

Shane nodded. "Thank you, sweetheart." When Kim visited him the next time, they would have a lot to talk about. About Cal. About the children. But, most importantly, they needed to talk about their future. Shane pictured himself with Kim at the Salem house, then smiled at his daughter. "When you see her, tell her that I love her and can't wait until she can visit me."


	369. Chapter 369

Steve carried his duffle bag into the living room and set it down by the door. He checked his watch and then called out to Kayla.

"Sweetness? You better get a move on, baby. We gotta get Stephanie to your folks and then to the airport pretty soon."

"I'm almost ready," Steve heard her call from the bedroom. "Just a few more minutes."

Steve sighed and sat down on the couch. As he waited, he went over the details of the trip one more time, wanting to make sure he had covered all of the bases.

He knew that it was highly likely that the ISA was keeping an eye one him and would be immediately suspicious if he traveled pretty much anywhere in the direction of the southeast United States.

So he had come up with a plan that, with a little luck, would leave the ISA clueless. He and Kayla would fly to Charleston, South Carolina. As far as anyone knew, they were taking a long romantic weekend in the city where they had spent their first anniversary.

Steve had booked three nights at the same hotel where he and Kayla had stayed on their previous trip. Once they landed in Charleston, they would rent a car and check into the hotel. They would spend the night in Charleston and then make the five- or six-hour drive to the Deakins' wilderness retreat in Georgia the following day.

They would then spend two nights at the wilderness camp. Once Steve had talked to Deakins, he and Kayla would drive back to Charleston, check out of the hotel, return the rental car and fly back to Salem.

If the ISA was keeping an eye on Steve, hopefully, all they would see is that he and his wife were having a romantic getaway. The car rental and the reservations at the wilderness retreat were under a different name, and were made on a credit card also issued under that assumed name.

Steve knew that it was possible the ISA might figure out that he and Kayla were not actually in Charleston, but, by then, he and Kayla would be in Georgia and the ISA would be none the wiser. If anything, the ISA would expect him to go to Kentucky and would be looking for him there.

The only person who knew where he and Kayla were really going was Shane. Steve chuckled slightly at the irony of that, given how unhappy Shane was about Steve's trip. But Steve trusted Shane to make sure that the ISA paid a price if Steve and Kayla suddenly disappeared.

For a moment, Steve contemplated trying to get Kayla to agree to stay behind again. While he truly believed there was a minimal risk to his plan, there was risk nonetheless. It had been one thing for both of them to face risks together when it had just been the two of them, but now they had Stephanie. She needed at least one of her parents to be there for her.

But Steve also knew how Kayla felt about being left behind. More than that, he knew that life itself was a risk. There were no guarantees about anything in their lives, and he could not ask Kayla to stay behind because of those risks any more than he could agree to drop his attempts to clear Shane's name.

Steve's thoughts were interrupted as Kayla walked into the room, carrying Stephanie's diaper bag and her own suitcase, as Stephanie toddled behind her. Steve jumped up and rushed to take the suitcase from Kayla.

"You should have called me, baby. I'd have helped you haul this stuff out."

"It's okay," she said as she set the diaper bag by the door. "I can handle it."

Before Steve could respond, he heard a crash behind him. He quickly turned around and saw that Stephanie had pulled one of the toys off of the end table. She was sitting down, clearly startled by the noise and looking like she was about to cry.

Moving quickly, Steve picked Stephanie up. He quickly soothed her cries. "Looks like our baby girl is getting adventurous," he said, turning to Kayla.

She was standing by the door, unmoving. Her eyes had a glassy look and her breath was coming in shallow gasps.

"Sweetness," he called gently. "Are you okay?"

Kayla did not respond at first. Steve walked closer. "Look at me, baby," he said, more forcefully this time.

After a few interminable seconds, Kayla finally blinked and looked at him. Then her cheeks flushed, she stepped away, and picked up the fallen toy.

"I shouldn't have left this on the table like that." Steve could hear the tremor in Kayla's voice and did not miss the way she was avoiding looking at him.

"Forget about the toy, Kayla." Steve put Stephanie in her playpen and stepped towards Kayla. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." Kayla finally looked in Steve's eyes. "I was just surprised by the noise."

Steve sighed, remembering what Shane had said about Kayla's reaction to the dropped tray at the hospital. Once again, Steve silently cursed Cal Winters for what he had done to his wife.

Reaching out he took Kayla's hand. "Baby, I know you, and that reaction was more than just surprise." Before Kayla could object, he continued. "Don't deny it. You were somewhere else for a minute there and I know it's not the first time it's happened."

"What are you talking about?"

"I talked to Shane the other day. He told me what happened when that nurse dropped the tray. What he described was exactly what I just saw."

"I think you both have overactive imaginations," Kayla said dismissively. She moved to the couch, sat down, and pretended to look through her purse.

"What just happened wasn't my imagination, Kayla." Steve sat down next to her. "Talk to me, baby. I just want to help you."

Kayla kept her eyes focused on her purse and did not respond. Steve reached out and turned Kayla's face until she had no choice but to look at him.

"Please," he said softly.

Kayla took a deep breath and nodded. But before she spoke, her eyes widened and she jumped up. "Look at the time, Steve. We have to go or we're going to miss our flight."

Steve looked at his watched and cursed silently. Kayla was right. If they did not leave right now, they were never going to make their flight.

"All right, baby." He stood up and gathered their bags, while Kayla hurriedly got Stephanie into her coat.

As they walked out the door, Steve paused and looked at Kayla. "We are going to talk about this, Sweetness."

"I know," Kayla said simply. She kissed his cheek and then brushed by him out the door.

Steve took one last look around the apartment and then closed the door. Now he had two missions to accomplish on this trip - find a way to clear Shane's name and help his wife.


	370. Chapter 370

_Why aren't you home yet_?

Kim asked herself that question as the phone continued to ring. Finally, she heard a click and then Roman's recorded voice started to tell her to leave a message. In frustration, Kim hung up the phone.

_Something's wrong_, she thought. Roman and Marlena had been gone for more than a week and the family had not heard a single word from them. According to the woman taking care of the children, they had not called to check up on Eric and Sami since the day they arrived in Mexico. That just did not sound like Kim's brother and sister-in-law.

Picking up the phone again, Kim dialed the Salem PD and asked for Abe. A moment later, he came onto the line. Hearing her explain her concerns, he tried to alleviate them.

"I don't think it's anything to worry about," Abe said. "You know Roman. He and Marlena are probably just off in some island paradise, enjoying a relaxing vacation."

Abe's cavalier attitude did not placate Kim. She said, "We both know that's not true."

There was a pause on the other end before Abe agreed. "I know. . . . Look . . . I'll make some calls and see what I can find out." There was another pause. "Unfortunately, we both know I'd normally call Shane on something like this and he'd call in the ISA. But I'll do what I can."

Hanging up the phone, Kim crossed the library and poured herself a cup of tea. With everything going on, she desperately wished Marlena was in Salem. Kim had talked briefly with Kayla about her concerns about Shane, but she needed someone who could listen and be open to discussions. She knew Kayla meant well but Kim also knew that Kayla could hardly be objective about the situation, and objectivity was exactly what Kim needed right now. Being told just to "trust" Shane. . . . That was too simple an answer.

"And this situation just isn't simple," she muttered aloud. Then Kim sighed and stared at the television. She considered watching Shane's video again. Maybe this time, she would see or hear something that would convince her that she could trust his assurances about their future.

_Oh, who are you kidding, Kimberly Brady_? She had watched the tape about 20 times. If there was something capable of assuring her, she would have seen it by now.

With another sigh, Kim walked over to the fireplace. On the mantle was a photo of Shane with Eve and Andrew. Kim stopped and studied it.

The picture had been taken shortly after Shane regained his memory. He was seated in an overstuffed chair, Andrew perched on his lap and Eve leaning over his shoulder. They all seemed so happy. Holding her tea in one hand, Kim raised her other and ran her index finger over Shane's smiling face.

"I wish we could be happy like that," she said. "I wish I could do what you want and make you happy."

"Really?" said a sharp voice from behind her. "Is that really what you want?"

Kim was so startled that she nearly pitched the cup of tea. She caught it just before it upended, though some of the hot liquid splashed over the edge and splattered on the rug. Setting the cup down, Kim turned and saw Eve step into the room. Her arms were crossed defiantly in front of her and she was scowling.

"So you really want to make my dad happy?" Eve asked.

Kim steeled herself and forced her voice even. "Yes, Eve. You know I want your father to be happy."

Eve stopped at the edge of the sofa. "So that's why you haven't visited him?" She gave a derisive snort. "And don't tell me you're afraid of getting him sick. We both know you're just fine."

"Eve-"

"No, Kimberly," the girl snapped. "Do you know why I'm here? I'm here because my dad asked me to tell you how much he loves you and misses you. He buys this story that you're sick, but how do you think he'd feel if he knew that was a lie?"

Kim looked away. Eve could never understand. "It's complicated, Eve."

"Yes, that's how it always is, isn't it? It's 'Eve, you can't understand' or 'Eve, you're just too young' or 'Eve, you've never been in love like this.' I get it, Kimberly. But here's the thing. My dad is sitting in a hospital bed right now, planning on some wonderful future with you, and he's completely clueless that there's a problem."

She waited and Kim wondered if it was to give Kim a chance to deny that there was a problem, but Kim stayed silent. _There's no point denying it._

"I see. . . ." Eve pursed her lips. "So when do you plan on crushing his hopes this time? Let me guess . . . when he's strong enough?"

"It's not like that." Kim tried to explain. "Your father and I need to talk about things before we make plans for the future. He . . . he's assuming some things right now and-"

"You're right." Eve cut Kim off. "He's assuming everything. He's got in his mind that you're going to have this perfect little family, and that's so important to him that he's about to make a huge mistake that could cost him his freedom."

Now Kim was confused. "What do you mean?"

"He told Mickey Horton that he won't plead guilty." Eve put her hands on her hips. "He can't bear to be away from you, so instead of just going to jail for a few years, he's going to risk going away for the rest of his life."

Kim felt the air leave her. She raised her hand to her mouth and turned away to face the dark window. Outside, there was a slight breeze and the bushes moved like shadowy figures against the glass.

She did not know how to process Eve's information. It made no sense. In the video Shane had left, he talked about accepting the plea deal so he could be with the family. Why would he change his mind? Wasn't his case hopeless? Hadn't he said that to Kim over and over?

"So you've got nothing to say," Eve said. She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. But I'll tell you this. My dad's been through hell because of you, but, for whatever reason, he's convinced that you're the love of his life and he wants to have a future with you. If that's what he wants and what you're prepared to give him, I'll just have to live with it. But if he's just opening up his heart for you to rip it out. . . . If you're just going to crush his dreams . . . . I beg you, Kimberly, do it now. Do it now and don't lead him on. You'll only hurt him a lot worse if you wait."


	371. Chapter 371

Kayla breathed deeply, taking in the smell of the ocean and salty air as she looked out at the beauty of Charleston harbor from the balcony of the hotel room.

She had fallen in love with the beauty of Charleston when she and Steve had traveled there with Marcus and Gayle a couple of years before. The purpose of the trip had been to help Marcus find the truth about his family and why someone was trying to kill him.

A slight smile appeared on Kayla's face as she remembered how little help she and Steve had provided. Seeing that Marcus and Gayle were intent on figuring out the mystery on their own, Steve and Kayla had spent their days exploring the city and, in particular, the grounds of the old plantation that had been owned by Emily's family.

It had been a perfect moment in time for them - before Steve had gone undercover as Daniel Lucas, before Marina had interrupted their lives, and before she had lost Steve.

Kayla closed her eyes as she remembered how they had walked the paths of the old plantation and had read Emily's diary about her search for Gideon. Steve had teasingly indulged Kayla's fascination with the story of Emily and Gideon, the two Civil War lovers whose love had somehow survived both war and death.

It was only after Steve's supposed death that Kayla had realized how deeply Steve had been drawn into the story as well. She would never forget the Christmas present that had arrived last year - Emily's teapot, on which Steve had engraved their names.

Intended to be a special surprise, it had instead been a bittersweet reminder of all that Kayla had lost. Kayla remembered looking at the teapot and seeing her and Steve's names engraved along with Emily and Gideon's. In that moment, she had been jealous of Emily. Emily had lost Gideon, but had found him again in the end - a happy ending Kayla had believed she would never have.

Yet, Steve had known best after all. For just like Emily, Kayla had been reunited with the man she loved. A shiver ran up her spine as she felt Steve's presence behind her. Silently, he slid his arms around her waist. "So beautiful," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear.

"Yes it is," Kayla replied, leaning back into his arms. "I can't believe we're really back here again."

"Neither can I." Steve said as he turned Kayla in his arms. "But I wasn't talking about the view, Sweetness. I was talking about you."

Kayla blushed and then smiled. Leaning up, she kissed him. She felt his arms tighten around her as he tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away with a giggle.

"Hey," Steve protested. "I was just kissing you over here."

"Aww, I know," Kayla teased. "But if we only have one afternoon and evening in Charleston, I want to make sure we at least make it out of the room."

Steve laughed and held up his hands in mock surrender. "All right, baby. You win. So what do you want to do this afternoon? A little sightseeing? A little shopping?"

"Yes." Kayla nodded, still smiling. "But you know what I'd really like to do?"

"What, Sweetness?"

"I'd like to visit that old plantation that belonged to Emily's family." Kayla smiled. "You remember, don't you? The one we visited before."

"Do I remember?" Steve said, stepping towards her again. "Let's see. . . . I remember you in a beautiful sundress, a picnic, and-" He put his arms around Kayla and pulled her close. "-making love in the shade of a big, old, oak tree." He smiled down at Kayla. "Yeah, I remember."

"That was a good day, wasn't it?" Kayla asked, lost in the memory.

"Yes, it was." Steve grew quiet and Kayla could see his expression grow pensive.

"What is it, Steve?" She reached out to stroke his face. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing. . . ." He shook his head. "I just . . . I guess that memory helped keep me going while I was gone." He turned away and stepped toward the window. "When things got really bad, I would try to remember . . . our wedding . . . Stephanie's birth . . . that day under the oak tree."

Kayla felt the tear slide down her cheek at Steve's words. With all that had happened in the last few weeks, it had been easy to forget that it had only been a few months since Steve had been rescued. Steve's sessions with Dr. Friedman had helped him deal with the PTSD and there were few outward signs of the time Steve had spent as Alamain's prisoner. But Kayla knew the wounds would never entirely heal.

Walking to the window, she slipped her arms around Steve's waist and laid her head against his back. As she held him, she could hear the sounds of the harbor and feel each breath he took.

After a few moments, she stepped back and took his hand, pulling him around to face her. Steve smiled down at Kayla, his eye shining with love. Without a word, she led him to the big canopy bed in the middle of the room.

Still smiling, Steve stroked Kayla's face. "I thought you wanted to go out, baby."

Instead of answering, Kayla kissed him and then pulled him onto the bed. Her fingers worked the buttons on his shirt as his lips found her neck.

As she slipped the shirt from Steve's shoulders, her lips brushed softly against his ear and she whispered a quiet request.

"I want to make a memory."


	372. Chapter 372

Shane took a few steps and sank down into the chair next to the bed. He had managed to walk to the nurses' station and back, and now wanted to prove to Marcus that he did not have to spend all of his time in bed.

"So how am I doing?" he asked.

Marcus tilted his head and seemed to scrutinize Shane carefully. "Better," he answered. "You're definitely getting your strength up." He handed Shane a pillow. "Keep that handy in case you cough."

Shane understood. The pain would still hit him if he moved too quickly or twisted in a particular way. And the worst pain came when he coughed, something that Marcus said was typical of a patient who had gone through the procedure Shane had. The force of a cough jarred his still-healing sternum and caused the "breakthrough pain." Marcus said that Shane might be able to minimize the jarring effect if he held a pillow tightly to his chest when he coughed, but Shane suspected the idea was more to distract Shane's focus from the pain than to actually prevent it.

That pain would last awhile. Marcus said the sternum would take at least six to eight weeks to heal, putting Shane's return to normal activities right around Thanksgiving. In the meantime, as Marcus kept reminding him, there would be a lot of physical therapy.

"Stand up if you can," Marcus ordered. "I think we can take away the wrap around your ribs. You'll still feel discomfort, but the x-rays look good enough to make me think they'll stay in place without the bandages."

"And I'll be able to breathe normally?" Shane asked.

Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Better. . . ."

"But not normal," Shane finished. "I know." He felt stupid for his choice of words. Marcus had told him enough times that the lung damage was permanent. Still, anything that took away the pressure around his chest from the tight bandages would be a huge improvement, so as fast as he could, Shane rose to his feet and pulled off his robe. He waited as Marcus took some scissors and cut away at the bandages.

"Nearly there," Marcus said. When he pulled the last of the bandages away, Shane took a breath. He could breathe more deeply than he had since he had regained consciousness, but the pain began to start if he tried to take in too much air. "Careful there," Marcus cautioned. "Those bones are still broken. Now let me take a look at the incision."

Shane winced as Marcus pulled away the tape that was holding the bandage over the front of his chest in place. He pulled it away and Shane saw in the mirror the full length of the dark, red incision line, which was beginning to form into a scar. It ran from just below his clavicle to the middle of his abdomen. Every few centimeters along the scar was a dark piece of stitches, protruding from his skin.

_Just a final gift from Cal Winters_, he thought silently. _One I'll have to look at every day for the rest of my life._

As Marcus looked at the incision, Shane took a moment to remind himself that he was lucky he could complain about a scar. The alternative was a lot worse.

"That looks pretty clean." Marcus looked up from the wound. "You'll have to take care not to get it wet or do anything to break the incision open while you're at home, but I don't think we need to keep the dressings."

Shane did not hear the last part. "While I'm home? Really? How soon can I go?"

"I guess the quality of Alice Horton's TLC must be declining if you're that anxious to get out of here." Marcus began to chuckle. "I'm just kidding. Don't you dare tell Alice I said that." He motioned for Shane to return to the bed, but Shane wanted an answer first.

"So will I be able to leave soon?"

Marcus gave an exasperated roll of the eyes. "Yes . . . . I'll set up the paperwork and, as long as your lungs remain clear, I don't see why you can't go home tomorrow." He motioned for the bed and gave Shane a knowing look. "That still means you need to rest. I don't want you pushing yourself too hard, Shane. You're not going to recover in a couple of days. You have several months of rehab in front of you."

"I got it," Shane said, but all he could think about was being home. _With Kim and my family_. He settled back into the bed and smiled at the thought that, the day after tomorrow, he would not wake up in a hospital room, but in his bed - with Kim next to him. Their children would be just a few doors away, safe and secure.

Setting that happy thought aside, Shane turned his attention to ensuring that things would stay that way. He had made his decision about pleading guilty, and now he needed a plan to clear his name. Unwittingly, Steve had given Shane some ideas by revealing Tarrington's biggest fear, which meant Shane also had a place to start planning. He just needed to find a way to do what he had to.

The thoughts racing through his brain were interrupted by a knock on the door. He looked up to see Kim just outside the door.

"Can I come in?"

Shane doubted he could smile any wider. "Of course." In that instant, as she walked toward the bed, he felt a sudden wash of relief, which surprised him because he had not realized he was even anxious. "I'm so glad you're here. I was starting to get worried that you had something worse than a cold."

Kim seemed to halt, her smile wavered, and she looked down. After a moment, she said, "No, it's not worse than a cold."

"Good," Shane said, noticing that his stomach felt tight. Kim's eyes still did not meet his. Uneasily, he asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Kim sighed and then looked at him. "I'm. . . ." She did not answer the question. "We need to talk."

Her tone told him this would not be a pleasant conversation. Slowly, he said, "Go ahead."

"I wanted to wait until you were better." Kim shifted uncomfortably and looked away again. "I . . . I didn't want to hurt you."

_But you're going to do it anyway_, he realized. His entire body tensed, both anxious to hear what Kim had to say and dreading the words that might come out.

The silence was palpable as he waited for her to break his heart.

"I . . . I can't do this, Shane," she finally said. "I can't just come back to you."


	373. Chapter 373

The car bounced heavily along the dirt track that masqueraded as a road. In the back of Kayla's mind, she remembered another drive over a bumpy road. This time, though, they were not driving through the darkness and Kayla's hands were not tied, so she could brace herself for each jolt.

"Sorry, Sweetness," Steve muttered. "I can barely see any road between the potholes. I guess the Deakins clan likes rustic."

Kayla's response was cut off by a particularly strong bump that made her fear her seatbelt would snap. The little rental sedan was no match for the road.

"There it is," Steve said, and Kayla could hear the relief in his voice. She looked through the front window and saw a sign in front of a two-story building. It was a reddish wood with a patio that surrounded the entire first floor and an upstairs patio with a wood railing. It also definitely looked like it had seen better days, as the awning over the entrance was hanging slightly off-kilter and the stone stairs had some visible cracks. The sign in front was hard to make out because some of the paint was peeling, but she finally managed to read, "Swamp Creek Resort and Spa."

"Spa?" Kayla could not stop herself from raising an eyebrow.

Steve chuckled. "That means they probably have a Jacuzzi somewhere."

He pulled the car to a stop and they climbed out. Kayla was grateful to stretch. The drive from Charleston had lasted more than three hours, and the last 15 minutes had been over the road from hell. As Steve pulled their bags out of the trunk, Kayla looked around. The parking lot was filled mostly with pickup trucks and jeeps, which probably had no trouble with the road. She noticed that nearly all of the vehicles had gun racks.

The surrounding area was heavily wooded and she could hear the sound of a running brook from the other side of the trees.

"Ahhhhh," Steve said, breathing deeply. "Just feel that fresh air. Nothing like Salem at all."

In the distance, Kayla spotted a couple of smaller buildings, most likely the cabins where guests would stay. The few she could see clearly looked like they were little more than elevated tents. _Rustic_, she reminded herself.

Steve grinned and carried their bags toward the main building. "Come on, Sweetness. Ready for a wilderness adventure?"

Kayla shook her head. "Remember why we're here."

That seemed to sober Steve. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm not forgetting."

He escorted her up the stone steps and into the building, which made no attempt to hide the retreat's main purpose. Two mounted dear heads overlooked the front desk and two stuffed birds seemed to act as bookends on either side. Behind the desk was a young man wearing a bright red baseball cap with the head of a snarling white bulldog on it and the word "Georgia" in black type underneath. He looked up and grinned.

"Welcome, folks, to Swamp Creek." His voice was tinged with a light southern accent and he paused as he got his first good look at Steve. After giving a curious look, the young man said, "You must be here for the family reunion."

"Uh, no." Kayla stepped forward. "We're just here on our own."

The young man appeared surprised and gave Steve another look. "I see. . . . Mr. and Mrs. William Daniels?" he asked.

"Yep," Steve said. "That's us."

"Right." The clerk pulled out a ledger. "I'm sorry about that. I just kind of assumed. . . ."

"Assumed what?" Steve's eye narrowed. Kayla stepped closer, knowing what Steve was thinking.

The young man's face turned almost as red as his hat. "I mean . . . nothing. It's just the family that's here. They're a bunch of soldiers in the group, and I just thought-"

"A war wound," Steve said, with a chuckle. "It is, dude - of sorts." Kayla did not miss the change in Steve's voice. Silently, she reached over and gave his hand a brief squeeze. Steve gave her a grateful glance and then turned back to the clerk.

"So I guess we're the odd couple out this weekend. I remember them saying over the phone that the place was booked for a reunion this weekend."

The clerk scowled slightly, then covered. "Yes. The owners' family comes here every year." He glanced around quickly, leaned over the counter, and spoke in a low voice that only they could hear. "Just don't judge all Georgians on the folks you meet out here. I mean, most of the folks you'll meet seem to be good people, but there are a few who . . . well, you know . . . they kind of ping the redneck radar."

Steve gave a conspiratorial grin. "We've got plenty of those types back at home. Trust me, we're the last types to judge." He glanced around. "Though it seems pretty quiet for a place that's full with this family."

"Yeah, most of the folks are down by the lake, which is why you can't hear them." The man looked at the clock. "And several groups went hunting for white bobtail this morning. They'll be back in a bit, probably filling up the bar for the night."

_So we know where to find Deakins_, Kayla thought. She glanced sideways at Steve, who was nodding as if in thought. Meanwhile, the man behind the desk finished writing up their room information.

"Sign here," he said. As Steve signed the ledger, the man added, "We just need a credit card for incidental charges."

Kayla took in a sharp breath. They were here under false names so there would be no record for the ISA. If they had to use a credit card, it would destroy their cover.

"Here you go," Steve said, handing over the card. Kayla pulled at his arm, trying to stop him. But Steve just grinned and winked.

"Thank you Mr. Daniels," the clerk replied, looking at the card and taking down the information before handing it back to Steve. As Steve placed the card back in his wallet, Kayla could see it the name "William Daniels" inscribed on the card. With a sigh of relief, she surreptitiously smacked Steve on the arm. Steve kept his eye on the clerk, but Kayla did not miss the cheeky grin on his face.

Leaning over the desk, Steve lowered his voice. "This weekend is kind of special for my wife and me, so I was hoping you could give us a cabin that's . . . out of the way, so to speak." As he spoke, Steve looked down at his hand and the clerk followed his gaze.

"Yes, sir," the clerk replied with a smile before sliding the $100 bill across the desk and slipping it into his pocket. He reached back and pulled a key with a number 2 on it, then grinned. "This is one of our best cabins. It's not one of the tents, but a real cabin. It even has a Jacuzzi in it. I'm supposed to be saving it for some rich member of the family coming from Miami. He'll make a stink, but nobody else will really care. Most of the folks can't stand the guy."

He handed the key to Steve, gave them directions to cabin number 2, and said, "There you go."

Steve turned, took the luggage in one hand, and wrapped the other around Kayla's shoulder. He escorted her to the door and whispered, "See, Sweetness, it won't be so bad. We even have a Jacuzzi."


	374. Chapter 374

From the wounded expression she saw before Shane turned away, Kim realized that her words were not coming out the way she intended. She had not wanted to hurt him, but he looked crushed.

"I don't mean-"

Shane cut her off. "It's okay. You don't have to explain. I think I know why." He was looking down at his hands, unwilling to meet her eyes. "There's just one thing I don't understand. The other day, with the children. You said we'd be a family-"

"No," Kim said, shaking her head. "_You_ said we'd be a family. You didn't ask me. We never discussed it. And how could I say anything with Andrew there."

The pained look began to disappear from Shane's face. As she watched, his jaw tightened and he took a short breath as if forcing himself to shut off his emotions.

"Please . . . don't," she said. "Just listen to me."

His face was now impassive, but betrayed slightly by the tremor of the muscle at the back of his jaw. Shane sounded unemotional when he finally responded. "It's okay. I guess I shouldn't have assumed anything. It makes sense that . . . after what I did, you'd want to move on."

Kim tried not to scream in exasperation. Sometimes Shane could be so maddening.

But, as Shane fell silent, Kim felt the stabbing guilt. How many times in the past few months had she told him she believed in their love and their future? How could she expect Shane to understand that had changed; she doubted he fully understood how terribly hurt she had been after their night together.

Kim used the silence to take a seat beside his bed. She reached out and took his hand in hers.

"Please . . . listen to me, Shane. I'm not saying it's over."

He looked up and she saw his lip quiver slightly. "I don't understand. You just said-"

"I said I'm not sure about our future," Kim explained. "That doesn't mean I'm going to throw everything we have out the window."

"So what does that mean?" He sounded confused and frustrated, even though she could tell he was trying to tamp down on any emotion. "You won't come back to me, but it's not over?"

Kim squeezed his hand. "I mean it's . . . . I just . . . I just need some time to figure out if this is the right thing to do. After what happened-"

"I panicked." This time the emotion burst through Shane's walls. "Can't you see that? It was stupid and I know that now. I'm not going to push you away again. Please, I don't want to lose you."

Her chest tightened at the pain she saw in his eyes. "I don't think I want to lose you, either," Kim breathed. "I just don't know if I can handle the pain of you pushing me away again." She raised her hand, stopping him as he began to protest. "I know you're going to say you won't do that again . . . and I think you really believe you won't. I just need to decide if I can believe it."

Shane fell silent and pulled his hand free. His eyes did not meet hers. "I don't know what I can do to convince you. I . . . I know I hurt you that day, but I can't change the past. If you won't believe me when I say I learned from that, I don't know how to convince you."

Kim's heart was at war with itself. She wanted to give in and tell him she believed him just to take away his pain. Yet she remembered her own pain and did not want to open herself up to another heartbreak.

"It's not you, Shane," she said softly. "It's me. I need to figure this out. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to wait until you were stronger, so we could really talk."

He raised his head and faced her, exposing in his eyes the hurt that she had hoped to avoid. "Then why didn't you?"

"I'm sorry," Kim said. "I couldn't. Not after what you said to Andrew and not after what Eve told me."

Shane's eyes narrowed. "What did Eve tell you?"

"About the trial and what you said to Mickey." Kim watched as Shane pursed his lips and looked away again. "Why, Shane?" she asked. "Wasn't the whole point of pleading guilty so we could be together? I don't understand why you'd change your mind."

"I can't," Shane said sharply, but then his voice grew quiet. "If I plead guilty, I'd be walking away from you and our children without a fight. How can I do that? I don't even know Jeannie. . . . How can I just abandon her for the next three years?"

Kim was confused. Shane had said repeatedly that he had no hope of defeating the charges. "But what about the ISA? You said they were going to fix the judge and jury. If you don't plead guilty, you could miss all of your children's lives. Wasn't that the point of what you said on that tape? Pleading guilty meant we could be together even if it meant waiting a few years."

"And what good would that do when you can't even say you want to be with me now?" Shane asked, failing to fully conceal a bitter undertone.

"Shane . . . please." Kim's words were barely above a whisper. "I can't commit to anything right now. Give me time to figure things out."

He closed his eyes, but nodded lightly. Then he opened his eyes, and she could see that he was fighting tears. He took a deep breath. "I'm going to fight these charges because I am not ready to walk away from you and our children. By the same token, I'm going to fight for you. Maybe I assumed too much the other day, but I'm not giving up. I will bloody well do whatever it takes to convince you that I mean it when I say I'll never push you away again."

_I hope you can_, Kim thought. _I really hope you can_.

"I mean it, Kim," Shane said, his tone strong and earnest. "I won't give up on us."

He reached for her hand, but when his fingers brushed hers, she pulled away. It tore at her insides to see the pain so visible on Shane's face, but he looked down and studied the hand that had just touched her.

The room fell silent, neither of them really knowing what to say.

Finally, Shane sighed and said, "A few minutes ago, everything seemed so perfect. Marcus just told me I can go home tomorrow. It's like a farce."

Kim understood what Shane was saying. How many times in their lives had she cursed their timing? It was like whenever something good happened to them, it was just a momentary lull before the next trial. The curse of bad timing.

"So will you be moving the children out of the house?" Shane asked.

The question came as a total surprise. Kim had never even contemplated moving out of Shane's. "I . . . I don't know," she said. Then she thought about Shane's condition and how he still had the trial coming up, and she shook her head. "No . . . I couldn't do that to you - or the children. I think you need this time together."

Still not looking at her, Shane said, "Thank you, at least, for that." The room fell into another awkward silence.

"Shane. . . ." Kim's voice trailed off. If she said anything more, she probably would just hurt him even worse.

He slid down in the bed and started to turn onto his side - away from her - but he winced and returned to his back. Keeping his eyes averted, he said quietly, "Marcus said I should rest."

Kim just nodded and stood up. "I'll let Simmons know you're being released. He'll probably want to get your room ready and spend tonight cooking up a storm."

That elicited no response from Shane, who just closed his eyes. Kim again felt herself wanting to give in, wanting to tell him that she did trust their love. But she heard the echo of Shane's voice telling her that he could not go through her walking away from him, and she felt the same pain from his mistrust that she had felt that morning after they made love.

Kim fought back some tears as she watched Shane pretend to fall asleep. She debated repeating that she was not ready to give up on their love either - that she just needed time - but she doubted he would understand. For now, there was nothing left to say.


	375. Chapter 375

Steve kept a wary eye on his surroundings as he led Kayla up the trail to their cabin. The last thing he needed was for Deakins to suddenly pop up on the trail.

As promised, the cabin was out of the way. From what Steve could tell, it was located on the outskirts of the resort, a few hundred yards from the main buildings. If nothing else, he and Kayla would have plenty of privacy.

As they rounded another corner, the cabin came into view. Steve stopped and stared as he heard the intake of Kayla's breath behind him.

The cabin was in the middle of a small clearing, surround by trees. The cabin itself was an A-frame, with a deck encircling the entire perimeter, and a stone chimney peeking out from the side. The cabin was either nearly new or had been well-maintained. Its varnished wood gleamed in the sunlight.

"Wow," Kayla said from behind him. "When he said this was one of the nicest cabins, I guess he wasn't lying."

Steve chuckled and walked up the steps to the front door. "We haven't seen the inside yet, Sweetness."

Opening the door, Steve peered inside and smiled. Stepping aside, he swept his arm across the entryway. "Welcome to our temporary home, baby."

Kayla gave him a curious look and then stepped inside. Steve picked up their bags and followed her inside.

The interior of the cabin was as beautiful as the exterior. A large, overstuffed sofa and two recliners surrounded the rock fireplace and mantel at the center of the left wall. To the right was a small kitchen and breakfast nook with windows looking out to the creek that ran beside the cabin. At the end of the room were large windows, centered by french doors leading to the back of the deck.

To the immediate left, Steve saw a staircase. Guessing the bedroom was there, he climbed the stairs with the bags in hand. As he reached the top of the stairs, a smile broke out on his face.

"Guess what, baby?" he called down to Kayla.

"What?" Kayla answered, following him up the stairs. "Oh, Steve," she whispered as she arrived at the top of the stairs.

Steve smiled as he stood in the middle of the loft bedroom. A king-sized bed dominated the room and the open space of the loft allowed them to see out the windows at the back of the cabin.

"It's beautiful," Kayla said, walking to the railing and looking down at the cabin living room below.

"You can say that again, Sweetness," Steve replied, joining her at the railing. "No wonder that rich guy from Miami wanted it reserved." He winked at Kayla. "I hope the clerk doesn't get into too much trouble for selling him out."

Kayla returned Steve's smile and kissed him on the cheek.

"What's that for?" Steve asked as Kayla moved towards the stairs.

"For being smart enough to bribe the clerk," Kayla said with a giggle. "This place is amazing and I haven't even found the Jacuzzi yet."

Steve joined Kayla's laughter and followed her down the stairs. A quick look confirmed that the Jacuzzi was located on the back deck, just beyond the windows. As Kayla opened the lid, she shot Steve a knowing look.

"What do you think? You feel like a nice relaxing soak after that long trip?"

Steve could feel his body stir at Kayla's suggestion. But as much as he would have liked to indulge in a soak with his wife, he knew it was time to start moving on their real mission.

"Sorry, baby," he said with sincere regret. "That's going to have to wait."

Kayla looked down. "You're right. I guess I just got caught up in the moment."

Steve stepped forward and pulled Kayla into his arms. "Don't ever apologize for wanting to be with me. Besides, I'm not saying 'no.' I'm just saying 'not right now.'"

Kayla smiled and nodded. Together, they walked back into the cabin and sat down on the couch. Turning to Steve, Kayla asked, "So what do we do now that we're here? How are you going to contact Deakins?"

"I'm not quite sure yet," Steve admitted. "I need to get a chance to talk to Deakins alone, but if I try to catch him by himself first, he might just shut me down and take off."

"But if you meet up with him in front of a bunch of people, he won't be able to run." Kayla spoke slowly, a speculative look on her face.

"That's right, baby." Steve stood up and paced in front of the sofa. He always thought better on his feet. "He can't tell anybody that he knows me. Or at least how he knows me." Steve shrugged. "So . . . he'll have to play along for a little while, anyway."

"The clerk said they'd probably be in the bar tonight," Kayla reminded Steve. "Maybe we should just wait and go down their later."

Steve pondered that idea for a moment. It was probably the easiest solution, but it left too much to chance. What if Deakins didn't join the others in the bar? What if he later heard someone talking about meeting the one-eyed guy that night. Okay, there was more than one one-eyed guy in the world, but it was still too much of a risk. Steve had no idea what the ISA might have said to the soldiers.

"That's a good fall back plan, Sweetness," Steve finally said. "But I need to know for sure where Deakins will be tonight." He paced some more as he thought back to the other things the clerk had said. Suddenly, he remembered the mention of the lake. That was perfect.

"I think I've got an idea, baby," he said with a smile. "But I need your help."

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed in suspicion. "What kind of help?"

Steve chuckled at Kayla's suspicious look. "Don't worry. It's nothing you can't handle. As a matter of fact, this is right up your alley."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I want you to infiltrate the Deakins clan."

"Infiltrate?" Kayla's voice rose. "Am I supposed to pose as some long-lost relative or something?"

"No. No. Nothing like that." Steve sat down next to Kayla. "You're the friendliest person I know. Every time a new person would come into the emergency center, you'd have their whole life's history in a matter of minutes."

"That's because I had to take a history as part of an examination."

Steve rolled his eye. "Please, Sweetness. You might have needed their medical history, but you'd find out about their families or jobs or whatever else." He tweaked the end of Kayla's nose. "Face it, Kayla. You're just a people person."

Kayla returned the eye roll, but chuckled softly anyway. "So what do you want me to do exactly?"

Steve kissed Kayla's cheek, then spoke. "Remember the clerk said there were a bunch of people at the lake?" At Kayla's nod, he explained, "I want you to go down there and mingle. Just talk to some of them and see if you can find out anything."

"Like what?"

"Like what kind of gatherings they're planning for this reunion. Is there a big dinner or get-together or something." Steve shrugged. "Just anything that gives us some idea of when will be the best time to catch Deakins."

"And you think they'll just tell me all about it?" Kayla's voice conveyed her doubts. "They don't even know me."

"Don't worry, baby." Steve kissed Kayla softly. "They'll fall in love with you just like everybody does."

Kayla returned the kiss and then pulled back with a sigh. "All right. I'll see what I can do."

"That's my girl." Steve stood up, pulling Kayla with him. "You go make friends with the Deakins and I'll do some reconnaissance around the resort." He checked his watch. "We'll meet back here in say . . . three hours?"

"Yes, sir," Kayla replied with a mock salute.

"Real funny, Sweetness." Steve kissed Kayla one last time. "Just remember that we are Mr. and Mrs. William Daniels."

"I'll remember," Kayla replied. As she reached the door, she stopped and turned back. With a shake of her head, she said, "I still can't believe you remembered that name."

"Don't worry, baby," Steve said to himself as she stepped out and the door shut behind her. "I remember everything."


	376. Chapter 376

Kayla hummed softly as she walked down the path towards the lake that adjoined the campgrounds. It was a warm, sunny day and, after the cold snap that had captured Salem, she relished the feel of the sun on her bare arms and face.

She tried to quell her nervousness at her appointed "mission." Kayla had never been comfortable with lying. In fact, just a few years before, she would have insisted that lying was never the right thing to do. But then she had met Steve, and had learned that doing the right thing sometimes meant thinking and acting outside her preconceived notions of right and wrong.

If telling a few white lies and gathering information under false pretenses could help get Shane out from under the charges he was facing, she would do it, without hesitation.

Rounding another corner in the path, Kayla began to hear the sounds of voices. She slowed slightly, knowing the lake must be close by.

Taking a deep breath, Kayla took the last steps through the trees and onto the beach fronting the lake. Looking out to the water, Kayla could see a few rowboats with fisherman dotted around the lake.

Turning towards the sounds of the voices, Kayla looked down the beach and saw a group of twenty or so women and children about fifty yards away.

Kayla walked slowly towards the group. She could see a couple of older women in chairs in the center of the group. Surrounding them in chairs or sitting on beach towels were several women who appeared to be around Kayla's age. Several small children were playing nearby and, farther down the beach, Kayla could see a group of teenagers playing volleyball.

Steeling her courage, Kayla walked towards the group of women. As she drew closer, she could see that she had been spotted. The older women peered at her, as three or four of the younger women leaned their heads together in close conversation.

Kayla was about ten yards away when a woman not much older than Kayla got up and walked quickly towards her, a broad smile on her face.

"I can't believe you're here!" the woman exclaimed in a strong southern accent. "Aunt Verna didn't tell anybody you were coming."

Kayla quickly looked over her shoulder, wondering if someone had walked up behind her. Seeing no one there, she turned back, only to be engulfed in an embrace clearly intended for a long-lost relative.

Before Kayla could speak, the woman pulled back and then grabbed Kayla's hand, dragging her towards the rest of the group.

"Look who's here, y'all. It's Aunt Verna's baby girl, Macy."

"I think-" Kayla started to say.

"Come on over here, child," one of the older women said. "I haven't set eyes on you since you were still in diapers."

Kayla smiled awkwardly and stepped towards the woman. "I'm sorry, but I think there's been some mistake. I'm not Macy. I'm-"

"Oh, I can't believe I was such a fool," the first woman spoke again, snapping her fingers. "Of course you're not Macy."

"That's right," Kayla confirmed with a nod. "I'm—"

"You're Cousin Louise's girl, Sarah," the woman interrupted. "I should have known better. You're the spitting image of your mama."

Kayla stood in silence for a moment as all of the women began talking at once. From what she could tell, they were doing a family inventory and trying to establish exactly where "Sarah" fit.

"Wait!" Kayla finally shouted, getting their attention. With several pairs of eyes now trained on her, Kayla spoke again. "I'm sorry for the confusion, but I'm not Macy or Sarah or anyone else connected to this family reunion you're having."

A second elderly woman, probably the oldest in the group, spoke up in a very stern voice. "Well if you're not family, then what are you doing here?" She turned to a middle-aged woman with bright red hair. "You said we had the whole durn place to ourselves."

"Hush up, Aunt Patty," the woman responded, standing up. Turning to Kayla, she held out her hand and said, "I'm Ellie. My husband and I own the resort."

Kayla shook Ellie's hand. "It's nice to meet you Ellie. I'm Kay-" She caught herself just in time. "Kay Daniels."

"Welcome to the resort," Ellie replied with a smile. "I must say, I'm surprised to see you. When I saw the reservation on the books for William Daniels, I assumed it was just for another huntin' party. I gather he must be your husband, right?" She did not wait for an answer. "So what brings you and your husband to our place?"

Kayla was silent for a moment as she tried to come up with a plausible story. She mentally kicked herself for not having discussed this was Steve earlier.

"Uh. . . ." She started hesitantly, looking into a sea of expectant faces. "My husband heard about this place from a friend of his and he . . . uh-"

"Lemmee guess," Aunt Patty nearly snarled. "He decided to disguise a deer huntin' trip as a romantic weekend getaway. Jes like a man."

Kayla smiled broadly, grateful for the unexpected assistance. "Something like that," she replied with a nod. "I . . . uh . . . I don't know if he's going to do any actual hunting, but I think it's definitely a scouting trip." She shrugged. "You know how those men can be."

With the exception of Aunt Patty, all the women laughed and exchanged knowing glances, clearly agreeing with Kayla. Aunt Patty muttered something and Kayla thought she saw the old woman quickly lift a flask to her lips and take a drink. As the laughter faded, Ellie asked, "So, Kay, where are you and your husband from?"

Before Kayla could respond, she heard a scream from down the beach. She looked quickly towards the source of the noise and saw a teenage girl lying on the ground, holding her ankle.

Without thinking, Kayla ran towards the girl, only barely aware that the most of the other women were following closely behind.

When Kayla reached the girl, she dropped down beside. "What happened here? What hurts?"

"My ankle," the girl said in between sobs. "I was jumping for the ball and when I landed, it hurt real bad."

"Let me look at it." Kayla ran her hand over the girl's foot. As she did, she realized that she and the girl were now surrounded by the group of women she had been talking to and they all had concerned, but somewhat suspicious looks on their faces.

"It's okay," Kayla said, turning back to the girl. "I'm a nurse. I just want to see if anything is broken." Kayla carefully felt around the girl's foot, ankle and lower leg but could not feel any broken bones.

Looking into the girl's eyes, she gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry, this is going to hurt, but I need to move your ankle around to see if the ligaments are okay. I'll be as quick as I can. I promise."

The girl nodded and closed her eyes. Kayla quickly rotate the foot a short way in each direction. When she was finished, she sat back and looked up at the waiting family. "It's okay. . . . There doesn't appear to be anything broken or torn. I think it's just a light sprain."

Kayla could hear the sighs of relief surround her. Turning back to the girl, she asked, "What's your name?"

"Lucy," the girl said, a shy smile breaking through her tears.

"Hi, Lucy. I'm Kay." Kayla smiled reassuringly at Lucy. "Your ankle's going to be just fine, but you should go back to the camp and get some ice on it as quickly as possible. That will help keep the swelling down. You're also going to need to stay off of it for the next few days, I'm afraid."

Lucy nodded unhappily as two of the teenage boys in the group helped her up.

"Eldon, Henry," Ellie spoke from behind Kayla. "You two help Lucy back to the lodge and help her get some ice on that ankle. The rest of us will be along shortly."

"Yes, ma'am" the boys responded in unison, each throwing an arm around Lucy and helping her hobble down the beach.

"She really gonna be okay?" Aunt Patty asked.

Kayla nodded. "I really think it's just a light sprain. It'll swell up a bit, but it should be better in a couple of days."

"Thank you," Ellie said, smiling at Kayla. "I guess you came along at just the right time."

"I'm glad I could help," Kayla replied sincerely. Suddenly, she remembered she was supposed to be gathering information. But how could she segue from helping the girl to asking about their evening plans?

Ellie turned to the rest of the group. "Come on, girls. We better get our stuff together and get back to camp. We got a big supper to cook tonight."

Kayla's ears perked up at that. At least she had learned there would be some kind of dinner. She stood there for a moment, trying to think of a good way to ask for more information.

Just as she was about to speak, Ellie turned to her with a questioning look on her face. "Do you and your husband have supper plans?"

Kayla shook her head. "We haven't discussed it." At least she could be honest about that.

"Well, then, it's settled. You and Mr. Daniels can join the Deakins clan for some down-home southern cookin'. It's the least we can do after the way you helped Lucy."

Kayla started to protest, just out of habit. But then she remembered why she was there and caught herself. "Thank you. We'll be glad to join your family. Just tell me where and when?"

"Six o'clock sharp in the main lodge," Ellie said as the group began the trek back to the campground. "And be sure to bring your appetites. You ain't seen nothin' like a Deakins family supper."

Kayla nodded and smiled. She had a hunch the supper was going to be even more interesting than Ellie expected.


	377. Chapter 377

Kim pasted a smile on her face and walked into the door of her parents' home with Jeannie and Andrew.

"Kimmie," her father called as he walked towards her. "What brings you buy this fine evening?"

"I told Kayla I would try to bring the children over to play with Stephanie while she and Steve were gone," Kim replied as she removed the coat Jeannie was wearing. Kim had not managed to go shopping for new coats yet, so Jeannie had a hand-me-down from Stephanie that, like the coat from Eric that Andrew was wearing, had seen better days. Pulling the coat away, Kim set Jeannie down to toddle around.

"Would you look at that?" Shawn exclaimed. "Only walking a couple of weeks and she's already an expert."

Kim smiled at the fuss her father was making over Jeannie. For all of Shawn Brady's stubborn ways, which had caused difficulties for his children at times, he was a doting and loving grandfather.

"And how are you doing, young man?" Shawn asked, ruffling Andrew's hair.

"Good, Grandpa." Andrew's face broke out in a smile. "Guess what?"

"What?" Shawn asked, kneeling down to Andrew's eye level.

"Daddy's coming home tomorrow," Andrew said excitedly. "He won't be in the hospital no more."

"Any more," Kim corrected automatically.

"Is that right?" Shawn sounded as happy as Andrew. "Well that's great news."

"What's great news," Caroline asked, walking into the kitchen with Stephanie in her arms.

Shawn stood. "Shane's getting released from the hospital tomorrow. He'll finally be home with his family where he belongs. Isn't that right, Kimmie?"

Kim froze for a moment as her father's words echoed Shane's. _We're going to be a family again._ Then she smiled as sincerely as she could and nodded. "Sure, Papa. It will be good for Shane to be home again."

Ignoring her mother's questioning look, Kim stepped across the room to pick up a wandering Jeannie. "I better get these rascals settled in the playroom before they get in any trouble out here."

"No, no," Shawn said. "Let me do that. You stay here and keep your mother company. I don't get to spend enough time with my grandchildren as it is."

Kim watched as Shawn led the children to the playroom in the back of the house. Andrew was holding Stephanie's hand and Stephanie was holding Jeannie's hand as they followed their grandfather. Kim felt a lump in her throat as, for a moment, the picture was replaced by one of Roman leading Kim and Kayla in just the same way.

"Kind of amazing, isn't it?" Caroline said softly, placing her arm around Kim's shoulders. "Seems like just yesterday, that was you and your brother and sister following your father around like that."

Kim smiled and nodded. "I know. And now look at us. All grown up with kids of our own."

"Yes you are." Caroline took a seat at the kitchen table and pointed Kim to a chair. "But even though you're all grown up, I still worry about all of you."

"Well you don't have to worry about me, Mama," Kim replied, trying to sound convincing. "I'm doing just fine."

Caroline leaned across the table. "You might be able to fool your father, Kimmie, but you can't fool me quite so easily. Why aren't you as happy as you were pretending to be about Shane being released from the hospital?"

"I am happy about Shane being released," Kim protested. "He hates being in the hospital . . . and the children miss him desperately."

"And what about you?" Caroline asked, pointedly. "Do you miss him as well?"

"You know I do, Mama." _More than anyone can imagine._

Caroline gave her daughter a sympathetic look. "I know you love him, but I also know that something is clearly bothering you."

Kim sighed softly. "Shane and I just have a lot of things to work through, Mama. He wants us to start over again, but I'm just not sure it's going to be as easy as Shane wants it to be. We've hurt each other so much."

"Oh, Kimmie. . . . I know I can't make up your mind for you, but I do know how Shane was the night you and Kayla went missing. Did you know he came over here to wait for you, because he wanted to tell you he was sorry for whatever had happened that day?"

Kim did not know that. Roman and Bo had told her that Shane had expressed regret, but she did not know that Shane had come to her parents house.

"And Papa let him through the door?" Kim asked.

Caroline chuckled. "I wasn't sure for a while if he would. . . . When he was here, Shane told me about England and what you'd offered to do, I mean, moving there with the children."

That was a surprise to Kim. It was hard to picture Shane revealing that to her parents.

"And I'm going to tell you what I told him," Caroline said.

Kim looked her mother, curious to hear what she would say.

"I told him I hated the idea of you not being in Salem, but I also wanted you to be happy," Caroline explained. "And then I told him that I don't think you were ever happier than when you fell in love with him, and despite all of your problems, I thought he could make you happy again."

Kim glanced down at the table and ran her index finger along a grain in the wood. "I wish it were that easy, Mama."

With a shrug, Caroline said, "Maybe it isn't, but maybe it is. I wish I had some crystal ball and could give you a guarantee, but this is something you and Shane have to figure out for yourselves."

Kim nodded. "I know, Mama." She chuckled humorlessly. "It's funny, really. Everybody else seems to be far more sure about Shane and me working things out than I do. Kay, Bo, Roman . . . they've all told me to just 'trust' Shane and our love."

"And you don't know if you can do that." It was a statement, not a question.

Kim nodded again. "I want to. But it's just so hard. As much as it hurts to be apart from him, I've learned to live with that pain. I'm not sure I could live with loving and losing him again."

Caroline reached across the table and took Kim's hand. "I can't tell you what to feel or what to do. But can you live with never knowing what might have been if you never take that chance?"

Kim did not answer her mother. She couldn't because she did not know the answer herself. It seemed like every time she and Shane took that leap of faith, something always happened to tear them apart. Would this time be any different?

As Caroline got up and began working in the kitchen, Kim realized that really was the ultimate question. Could she trust that she and Shane had learned from their mistakes in the past and that this time really would be different?

_I don't know. I just don't know._


	378. Chapter 378

Steve adjusted his hair so that it covered most of his patch as he and Kayla approached the main lodge. The sun was just setting over the treetops and his heart was pounding.

_This had better work._

Ahead of him, Kayla started climbing the stairs to the lodge. She stopped, looked back, and began to giggle.

"What's up, baby?" he asked, but he got his answer as he got closer to the front door. From inside, he could hear raised voices.

"I'm telling you I booked the 'Quail Master' not the 'Mallard's Retreat.' They are nothing alike - or is that something your backwoods, inbred brain is incapable of understanding? I don't want to be on the lake where I have to hear all those screaming, redneck brats. And what about the hot tub? We're supposed to have a hot tub." There was a pause. "God, why did I even bother?"

Steve tried not to laugh out loud. "I guess that's Mr. Miami."

"Must be the 'black sheep' of the family," Kayla muttered.

They entered and saw the speaker. His hair was slicked into a light, brown pompadour and was wearing a tan blazer, dark slacks, and patent leather shoes. For a moment, Steve had to wonder how he could possibly be related to Deakins or the women Kayla had described meeting earlier.

The desk clerk - the same young man who had taken Steve's $100 - glanced up as they entered. "Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Daniels." Then he turned back to his irate customer. "I'm sorry, sir, but the reservation merely reflected you were reserving a cabin, not which cabin. And I can assure you that my parents are not remotely related, but if they were, my inbreeding has had no impact on my brain, which is currently carrying a 3.6 GPA at UGA. Now, I can ask Miss Ellie if there's anything I can do about finding you other accommodations, but all of the other cabins are taken, so we may have to find you lodging at another location."

Steve was impressed at the way the kid kept a straight face while Mr. Miami sputtered angrily, but Steve figured Bill and Kay Daniels should get out of the lobby before the man found out who was staying in his cabin. "Come on, Sweetness."

He let Kayla lead the way down a hall lined with animal heads. They could hear the rumble of voices at the far end and they walked down it until they reached an open set of double doors. Inside, the room was dominated by a fire roaring in the enormous stone fireplace.

Several men and a couple of elderly women were seated around the fireplace in dark, red leather chairs. They were swathed in a cloud of pipe and cigar smoke and were passing around a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels. Steve stifled a laugh when one of the old ladies, who had to be at least in her 80s, took a swig straight from one of the bottles.

Turning his head, Steve spotted a group of teens playing cards at a table across the room. One teenage girl had her foot resting on a chair; she was probably the girl Kayla had helped earlier. Around the teens, some younger kids were scooting around the floor with some toy trucks.

"Oh, Kay!" came a southern drawl from behind them. Steve nearly jumped, but Kayla showed no surprise as she calmly turned around.

"Hello," Kayla said. "I hope we're not late."

"No, of course not." The woman, who Steve saw for the first time, was probably around the same age as his own mother. She was a little on the plump side, with a head of red curls and a big, welcoming smile. "And this must be your husband," she said.

"Uh . . . yeah," Steve said. He held out a hand. "Bill Daniels."

The woman continued to beam. "Bill, welcome to our lodge. I'm Eleanor Deakins, but everyone calls me Ellie. Me and my husband, Fred, own this place. And we are mighty glad you're here. You can't imagine how grateful we are that Kay was able to take care of Lucy's ankle."

"That's my Sweetness," Steve said. "She's always taking care of people."

Ellie's eyes lit up and she looked at Kayla. "'Sweetness' . . . . I like your man already. Now, since you're going to be honorary Deakins for the night, how 'bout I introduce you to the clan."

Steve kept his head low as Ellie led them around the room. There were too many people for Steve to catch all the names, but he did catch Jim Bob, Jethro, and Bubba. The old lady with the whiskey was 'Aunt Patty.' Steve had no idea whose aunt she was or if "aunt" was a title; she did seem to be the matron in the group.

To his relief, there was no sign of Deakins. But at the same time, Steve felt a niggling of doubt. Shouldn't Deakins be here already? Maybe he was just running late, but maybe he had somehow found out about Steve.

"Have a seat, Bill," said one of the men with a short red beard and a camouflage baseball cap. _Jethro_, Steve told himself. "And, you too, Miss Kay."

"Not a chance," Ellie said, grabbing Kayla's arm. "I want Kay to come with me to the kitchen so she can see how we make a true southern meal." She turned to Kayla. "Y'all do cook, don't you? I mean, you're not like one of those yankee city dwellers who don't know their way around a kitchen?"

Steve spoke before Kayla could respond. "Of course not. Kay is quite the cook."

"Well, I don't really get a lot of time to, between my job and taking care of our little girl," Kayla said.

"A little girl!" Ellie cried. "Well you need to tell me all about her. Now come with me and we can leave the menfolk to talk about their stuff. I'm sure Bubba and Hal will want to tell your Bill all about their hunt this morning." She looked at the men. "Bill here is apparently quite the hunter."

That seemed to pique the men's interest. "You are?" asked Bubba, a wiry man, with thinning brown hair, who looked to be in his 30s.

_I am_? Steve wondered where that fact came from, but he quickly covered. "Uh . . . yeah . . . of course. I mean, what kind of man would I be if I didn't hunt?" He took a seat that Bubba motioned him to and noticed that Kayla was already following Ellie to the back of the room.

"Well," Jethro seemed to think for a minute. "Y'all could be like Cousin Wyatt. He don't hunt."

"Unless you mean hunting down college girls half his age down in South Beach," muttered Bubba.

"Y'all say that likes it's a bad thing," Jethro said.

Bubba frowned. "Man's gotta have some morals. Ah don't cotton to taking advantage of young girls."

Aunt Patty cleared her throat loudly. "Ain't the time or place for such talk," she announced, and Steve got the clear sense that she would have been fine with the gossip had there not been an outsider in their midst. The old woman took another drink and studied Steve through narrowed eyes. "You there . . . what happened to yore eye? Ya look like a pirate."

All the men fell silent, and one of them whose name Steve could not recall whispered, "Don't mind her. She's been drunk since World War II."

"I heard that," the old lady scowled. "So tell me, boy, what's your story?"

Steve shrugged. "Had a little accident. . . . back in my merchant marine days."

At that, Jethro snorted. Steve turned and looked at him, and the man chuckled. "Hey, I ain't got nothin' 'gainst you seabees. Y'all make sure we have our C-rations when we're in-country."

Steve thought that gave him an opening. "So you're a soldier?" He was surprised, because Jethro looked to be in his mid-40s and not particularly in-shape.

The man confirmed that. "Not anymore. 101st Airborne in 'Nam. Got me a Purple Heart in the A'Shau Valley in '69."

"Hell, they gave ya a metal for takin' some shrapnel in the ass," Bubba said, as several of the other men broke up laughing.

Steve glanced around. "Sounds like Jethro's not the only soldier among you."

"Most of us have done a tour or two," said the unnamed man. "It's pretty much SOP for a Deakins. We do got a couple of lifers though. Fred - he owns this place - put in 25 years. And his boy, you'll meet soon enough . . . Roy. He's a goddamn Green Beret."

"Language, Jackson!" Aunt Patty snapped.

The man looked down, chastened. "Yes, ma'am."

"Hey, there's Roy now," said Jethro. He waved at the door, so Steve turned around. Deakins was just coming through. With him was a petite blond, who seemed to be herding a boy and girl with white-blond hair. The woman said something to Deakins, who split off from his family and headed over to the group by the fireplace.

Steve had forgotten how big Deakins was. Or maybe he had never noticed, since the man was in a hospital bed for most of the time Steve had spent with him. Not to mention that Steve was hardly in the most observant state of mind at the time. But seeing Deakins approach, Steve had two thoughts. First, _how the hell did Shane carry Deakins out of the compound_? And, second, _I'd better not piss this dude off or he'll break me in two_.

Deakins apparently did not see Steve in the low light, so he had nearly reached the fireplace when Jethro said, "Hey, Roy, let me introduce you to a friend here." He motioned at Steve. "Bill Daniels. This is Cousin Roy."

"Good to meet y'all," Deakins said. "We-" He froze as Steve stood up and revealed the patch, but took just an instant to recover. "Bill, is it?"

"That's right," Steve said, taking Deakins' hand and giving it a hearty shake. "It's real nice to meet you. Your. . . ." Steve did not know the exact relationships between the men he had met and Deakins, so he said, "Your family's been telling me all about you."

Deakins did not look happy. "Uh, yeah. . . ." Deakins pulled his hand away and took a bottle of whiskey that Bubba passed to him. He took a quick swig.

"Ol' Bill here's an honorary clan member tonight," said Jethro. "His wife was the one who took care of Lucy's ankle earlier."

Deakins nodded and seemed to regain his bearings. He studied Steve, but his tone gave nothing away. "That's good ta hear. My Sis woulda been real worried and let it spoil the weekend. Y'all's wife's a godsend."

_Yes, she is_, Steve thought.

"So we were telling' Bill 'bout you bein' in the service," Jethro said.

"They were," Steve said lightly. "They said you're a Green Beret. That's pretty damn impressive."

Deakins said nothing. He looked like he was thinking hard and he took another drink from the bottle before he asked, "So what brings y'all down here?"

"Oh. . . ." Steve tried to think fast.

"He's a hunter, of course," Bubba said.

Deakins' eyes narrowed. "Is he now?" He looked at Steve. "So what y'all plannin' on huntin' out here?"

"Oh, I . . . well, I hadn't really decided," he said. "You know how it is - with the wife here and all."

The other men all seemed to commiserate, but Deakins continued to stare at Steve as if in disbelief.

"So what's the biggest kill you've had, Daniels?" asked Jethro. He sounded like he was trying to get the measure of Steve.

"Hmm. . . ." Steve stalled as he concocted a story. "Bear. Yeah, got me a bear over in Europe a number of years back. Yeah, was in Sweden with my buddy."

"A bear?" Deakins said evenly. "What kinda set-up did y'all use for that?"

_Oh, damn_, Steve thought. _What the hell do I say to that_?

"Yeah, Bill, what did you take that bear out with?" Bubba leaned forward excitedly. "A .30? I doubt a .22 would do much good against a big bear."

"Smart money would be on a 30-aught-six," said Jethro.

Grateful for the assist, Steve nodded quickly. "That's it. A 30-aught-six." Knowing the next question, he added, "Some European model. Don't even recall which. I borrowed it from my Swedish girlfriend's father for the day."

"So y'all's fine with shooting a borrowed gun." That came from Deakins, in a low voice only Steve could hear as the other men chattered on about hunting bear. Louder, Deakins said, "Well . . . seems to me, the only thing for y'all ta do is come along in the mornin'. I'm sure I've got a rifle y'all can use."

Steve felt a chill run down his spine, unsure how to interpret Deakins' tone. But he just nodded as the other men looked up, seemingly pleased at the invitation.

"That'll be great, Roy. I'll be looking forward to it."


	379. Chapter 379

"Is everything okay?" Carly asked as she finished listening to Shane's breathing through her stethoscope.

"Fine," Shane lied. "So how's it sound? Marcus said I could go home in the morning if my lungs stayed clear."

Carly smiled. "If that's what he said then I don't see anything that will keep you here." She pulled the stethoscope out of her ears. "Everything looks clear. But Marcus will have the final say in the morning."

"Of course," Shane said, as Carly left to go check on her other patients. With a sigh, Shane turned on the TV and flipped aimlessly between channels for a little while. But his mind was whirring and he could not concentrate on anything on the screen, so he shut it off and tossed the remote aside.

He had spent the entire day reliving Kim's visit. The whole time he had reminded himself how he had tried to keep his distance from her to prevent her from ripping out his heart. And when he had finally relented, she had done just that. He was still struggling with the physical pain of being shot by Cal, but, right now, it was the emotional pain that threatened to overwhelm him.

Grimacing, Shane turned slightly so he could look out the window, only to realize it was dark outside. Tomorrow, he would go home, but it would not be the picture he had envisioned only a few hours earlier. He would wake up in bed alone. Kim would keep her distance. Andrew would ask awkward questions about their future as a family.

_How will I answer them_?

He knew part of the answer. Despite the pain of Kim's rejection, he was not willing to give up. He still wanted her, and he wanted their family. He just had to find a way to convince her that their love would overcome any obstacles.

In the meantime, he had to fight against his instincts. Earlier, in the face of the pain, he had tried to shut Kim out. Every fiber in his being was telling him to close off his heart and try to bury the pain deep inside.

_You can't_, he told himself. Shane closed his eyes, and remembered the talk he had with Eve. What had he told her? That his life was not complete without Kim.

_That's the truth._

But how could he convince Kim that he understood that now, and that he would not give up on her? He knew he would keep fighting for her, but he just did not know what to do to make her believe that he would not push her away again. There had to be a way.

A knock on the door startled Shane out of his thoughts. Surprised that someone would knock at this late hour, he twisted carefully so he could see who was standing in the doorway.

"Bo. . . . What the devil are you doing here?"

Bo grinned. "Heya, Gov'ner. I was just in the neighborhood, seeing Carly, and thought I'd poke my head in."

"And it has nothing to do with her thinking I'm in a bit of funk?" Shane gave Bo a knowing look.

Confirmation came when Bo shrugged. "All right. You got me," he said. "Carly thought you could use someone to talk to and, with Roman not here, I figured I was the next best thing."

Shane shook his head. "Look, I appreciate you wanting to help, but there's really nothing you can do. This is something your sister and I have to work out for ourselves."

"Where have I heard that before?" Bo muttered. He grabbed the chair beside Shane's bed, flipped it around, and sat down so his arms rested on the back. "We leave things up to the two of you, and Andrew will be off to college before you work things out. Now tell me what's going on with you and Kimber."

"Look-"

"No, Gov'ner, I'm not going to be quiet or go away." Bo leaned over the chair. "So tell me what's going on?"

Shane knew Bo's stubborn streak well enough to know the man would not give up. "Fine . . . You want to know? Your blasted sister doesn't know if she wants to get back together with me."

"That's crazy," Bo said. "She loves you."

"Evidently, that's not enough." Shane could hear his own exasperation coming through, but he took a breath and forced himself to remain calm. "I guess I can't really blame her; it's not that much different than where I was a few weeks ago. It took nearly losing her to make me realize how foolish I was. When I think how close we came. . . ."

Bo looked away and Shane suddenly felt like a complete imbecile.

"I'm sorry," Shane said. "I didn't mean to-"

"To make me think of Hope?" Bo asked, an eyebrow raised. "Don't apologize. I told you weeks ago that you were being an ass for pushing Kim away, and it took me losing Hope to really figure that out. I'm just glad you didn't have to lose Kim."

Shane knew Bo was right, but that hardly mollified him. "Maybe, but it doesn't do much good now, does it? Not when she's the one now pushing me away."

"She'll come around," Bo said. He sounded a lot more certain than Shane felt.

"I hope you're right." Shane looked away to the darkened window. "I just wish I knew what to say to convince her."

Bo shrugged. "Aw c'mon. You're a master at knowing what to say. I mean, if you can't figure out how to convince her, what hope do us poor schlubs without the fancy education and accents have?" At Shane's look, he grinned. "C'mon, Gov'nor, I'm just teasing. Look, you and Kimber will work this out."

"I hope you're right," Shane repeated. "I just wish, for once, we could find ourselves going in the same direction. It seems like when she pulls, I push, and now it's the other way around." He gave a sick laugh. "Sometimes I swear Fate thinks our lives are its personal comedy."

"Now I've got no idea what that means," Bo said, with frown. "But you've got to hang in there. I mean it. You're down right now, but things will turn around. Kim loves you. It's just that I think. . . ." Bo's voice trailed off.

Shane turned back and sat up a little. "You think what?"

"I think she's scared," Bo said. He stood up, took a few steps away from the chair, and then turned around to face Shane. "I was there when she thought you'd died. You've got no idea how devastated she was. And then sitting there all day while you were in surgery. I think, deep down, that's got a lot to do with this."

Sitting back against his pillow, Shane let that sink in. He had never thought about what Kim had gone through after the shooting. He had thought about what might have happened with Cal, but he had not seen how that would be playing a role in Kim pushing him away. But what Bo was saying made some sense. In a way, maybe Kim was going through what Shane had gone through after he thought Emma had died. He had shut off his emotions so he would never have to experience the pain of losing someone he loved again.

So maybe that was the explanation - or part of it. Yet, Shane was no completely convinced. Kim had never pushed him away before when he was hurt. When he returned to Salem with amnesia and even after she had shot him, he never sensed that she tried to keep him distant to avoid the pain.

Still, perhaps Bo's idea could give him an opening - a starting point, as it were. Shane looked up, realizing that neither he nor Bo had said a word for a while. Bo gave him a knowing look before he headed for the door.

"Trust me, Gov'nor. Kimber will come around, and the two of you will work this out."


	380. Chapter 380

"More peach cobbler, Kay?"

Kayla shook her head regretfully. "No thank you, Ellie. It's delicious but I'm so stuffed already, I can't eat another bite."

Ellie smiled in apparent satisfaction and turned to Steve. "How about you Bill?"

Steve smiled and nodded. "Sure. I could have one more piece. Y'all sure make a good meal."

Kayla looked down at her plate and tried to stifle a smile. They had only been around the Deakins for a few hours and her husband was already sounding like a member of the family.

She couldn't really blame him though. Since their arrival at the lodge, the Deakins family had made them feel like . . . well, family. After leaving Steve by the fire, Kayla had been escorted to the kitchen where she had been regaled with stories of past family meals as the women prepared a vast array of food.

The meal itself had included venison, various game birds, fish, and even squirrel. Those meats were accompanied by numerous side dishes including macaroni and cheese, baked beans, creamed spinach, collard greens, sauteed okra, and fried green tomatoes. That, in turn, had been followed by a series of desserts - buttermilk pie, pecan pie, sweet potato pie, chocolate cake - culminating in the peach cobbler that Steve was now enjoying.

Throughout the meal, the many members of the Deakins clan had taken turns telling stories, usually involving some embarrassing moment for another member of the clan. Kayla had laughed along, feeling very much at home. There might be a few more of them, but a Deakins family gathering had a lot in common with a Brady family dinner.

She and Steve had been seated in the center of a long table with Ellie and her husband Fred to Kayla's immediate left, Jethro and his wife to Steve's right, and Roy Deakins and his wife directly across. Kayla could not help but notice that Roy Deakins had said little during the meal.

"So, Bill," Fred said, leaning back in his chair. "We know y'all's missus is a nurse, but what about you? What do y'all do for a living?"

Kayla turned to Steve. She did not miss how his eye widened in surprise at the question, but he quickly recovered. She also did not miss the warning look that Deakins gave Steve.

"Well, Fred, I guess you could say I'm between jobs at the moment." Steve's words were slow and natural. "But I used to be a cop."

"Used ta be?" Fred asked with a raised brow.

"I got hurt on the job," Steve replied with a casual shrug. "I'm not sure when or if I'll be reinstated."

Steve's ability to tell a believable story would never cease to amaze her, Kayla thought silently. He was the master of taking a piece of the truth and making it fit any situation. As much as that talent was serving him now, and had served them in sticky situations in the past, it was very much a double-edge sword.

"You don't look hurt?" Aunt Patty said in her usual blunt tone. "An' you said that pirate look was from a long time ago."

Kayla could see synchronized eye rolls from several family members. "Don't mind her," Ellie said, throwing a look at Aunt Patty. "It's none of our business."

Steve chuckled, but Kayla could seen him exchange another wary glance with Deakins. "It's all right," he finally said. "I had some pretty bad injuries from the on-the-job incident, but I'm pretty much recovered now."

"Was ya caught in some shootout or somethin'?" Bubba asked from the end of the table.

"Not exactly," Steve replied, shaking his head. "More like an explosion."

As the Deakins gasped in surprise and peppered Steve with more questions, Kayla just stared at her hands. She knew Steve was just trying to satisfy their curiosity, but she hated reliving the nightmare of the boat explosion and its aftermath.

After a few moments, Kayla looked up, realizing the conversation had moved on to a comparison of "battle wounds" among the men, most of whom seemed to have served in the military at one point or another.

As she looked up, Kayla caught the eyes of Deakins' wife, Lily. Something in Lily's look seemed to mirror Kayla's feelings and she smiled sympathetically. Lily nodded and returned the smile.

"That's enough of that talk," Ellie announced, apparently seeing both Kayla and Lily's reactions. "You boys can compare your battle scars another time."

"Yes, ma'am," was the immediate and joint response. Kayla could not help but smile at how easily these big men were cowed by Ellie.

As the conversation ended, the clearing of the tables began. Kayla attempted to help but, in a tone that brooked no argument, was told that she was a guest and was not allowed. Stifling a yawn, she sat back down as Steve put his arm around the back of her chair.

"Tired, baby?" he said in a low voice.

Kayla nodded. "It's been a busy couple of days, I guess."

Steve smiled and stood from his chair, pulling Kayla up with him. Turning to Fred and Ellie, he said, "Thank you so much for allowing us to join you for dinner. But I think it's time to take my missus back to the cabin. She's all tuckered out."

Kayla smacked his arm and rolled her eyes a bit as the others chuckled.

At the far end of the table, Bubba said. "I heard y'all got the 'Quail Master.' Nice cabin." He said that with a sidelong glance at the cousin with the pompadour. Kayla had noticed that he had remained pretty much silent for the entire dinner. A couple of the other men tried to stifle laughter.

"Well, we'd better be going," Steve said, and a long round of goodbyes followed as they began to make their way to the door.

"Don't forget our huntin' trip tomorrow," Deakins said as he shook Steve's hand.

"Uhh, right," Steve replied, one hand adjusting his patch. "What time are we going?"

"I'll pick y'all up at your cabin at 4:30 sharp." Kayla didn't miss the slight gleam of amusement in Deakins' eyes.

"4:30 . . . right. I'll be ready."

Kayla hugged Ellie and promised to stop by the lodge in the morning while the boys were hunting. Then she and Steve headed back to their cabin.

Steve was silent during the walk back, but Kayla knew that wouldn't last. No sooner had they entered the cabin and he shut the door behind him when the outburst began.

"I can't believe you told them I was a hunter, Kayla? You know I don't hunt."

Kayla laughed at the exasperation in Steve's voice. "What else was I supposed to say? We're at a hunting camp, surrounded by men who hunt. I didn't think they'd buy that we came all the way from up north just to enjoy the scenery."

Steve rolled his eye. "I suppose. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm not going to make a fool of myself tomorrow."

"You don't think Deakins really wants to go hunting do you?" Kayla said. "It's probably just a way to get you away from camp so you two can talk."

"Probably," Steve admitted. "But I'm not sure that's much better. I don't think he's too happy with me."

Kayla was a little concerned by Steve's response. "You don't think he'd try to do anything do you?"

Steve seemed to contemplate the question for a moment, then shook his head. "No. He's a soldier and a good one. He might be mad at me, but he won't hurt me."

Kayla smiled with relief. "Good." Walking over, she took his hand and began leading him towards the french doors at the back of the cabin.

Steve smiled a sexy smile and offered little resistance. "Where we going, Sweetness?"

Kayla just raised her brow. "I think you know."

"You wouldn't be planning on trying to get me into that hot tub out there and then seduce me, would you?" Steve asked as he pulled Kayla to him and nuzzled her neck.

"Maybe," Kayla replied, working the buttons on Steve's shirt. "Is that a problem?"

"No problem at all," Steve growled. "Just remember, I have to get up early in the morning."

"Well then," Kayla said as she removed Steve's shirt. "We better not waste any more time talking about it."

"Oh baby." Steve leaned down and swept Kayla into his arms and began carrying her out the doors. "I love the way you think."


	381. Chapter 381

_I could be in a warm bed with my wife right now._

That thought kept running through Steve's mind as he shivered in the morning cold. The sun had barely risen and a chilly, wet mist had settled over the woods. It might be Georgia, but it was still damn cold. And to make it worse, every time he tried to move around to stay warm, his hunting buddy scowled at him and told him to stay still.

Steve glanced across the hunting blind at Deakins, who was crouched next to a railing, his rifle gripped loosely in two hands. They had been here for nearly an hour, and other than telling Steve not to move around, Deakins had said nothing.

It was baffling. It was Deakins who had suggested Steve come hunting, who had shown up at the cabin at the ungodly hour of 4:30 a.m., and who had told Jethro, Bubba, and the other men in their group to take the other blinds. Steve and Deakins were now in the stand farthest from the lodge and at least a half-mile away from any of the other hunters.

_So either he wants a private chat or he plans to shoot me_, Steve thought. It was not particularly comforting that Deakins had shown no apparent interest in talking. Steve started to stomp his feet again, but stopped himself before he got another rebuke from Deakins. Instead, he raised his rifle and looked through the scope at the deer trail just below their hiding spot. Nothing was moving down there, so Steve set the gun back down and turned toward Deakins.

"Seriously, dude, you spend all your time running around the world shooting guns, and this is how you spend your free time?"

Deakins said nothing, but Steve noticed the way the other man's hand slid along the barrel of his rifle.

"So you're not gonna answer," Steve said, deciding it was time to end the hunting charade. "All right. I won't bother with the small talk, dude. But if you're going to bring me out here to shoot me, would you just do it already? At least, that way I won't freeze my ass off first."

"I ain't gonna shoot ya, Johnson," Deakins replied. "I worked too dang hard gettin' ya out of that camp alive to kill y'all now."

Steve eyed him. "Well you obviously don't want to talk to me. So why did you drag me out here? I mean-"

"Why? Don't ya have a lick of common sense?" Deakins cut Steve off. "What in God's name are y'all doin' here? Y'all have any idea the trouble this could cause?"

Steve narrowed his eye. "I think you know why I'm here. . . ."

"That ain't the point," Deakins snapped. "Ya don't think people don't know who y'all are? Y'all's just lucky my kin don't watch CNN. I don't know how they didn't recognize y'all - or the little lady. Ain't like they didn't have her picture on the news all the time. That kidnapping was big news."

"So what's the big deal if they recognized Kayla?"

"Y'all just don't get it, do ya?" Deakins asked.

Steve shook his head. "I guess I don't. All I know is that there's a man in Salem who could spend his life in prison, and you and your unit could clear his name."

Deakins did not answer at first. He looked away, staring across the railing for a minute. "We got orders," he said.

"ISA?"

Deakins shook his head. "Top brass. Told us all together, and then pulled me aside. Some JAG colonel. Says it don't matter the mission's gone public; thing's still classified."

Steve set his gun against the railing and crossed his arms. "So you're just going to let Donovan take the fall? The dude saved your life. Or don't you remember him taking out that guy who had you dead to rights and then carrying you out? Remember that guy? I think you called him 'Spooky.'"

"I remember jes fine," Deakins snapped. He rose to his feet. "It ain't that easy."

"No?" Steve asked. "Why not? How hard is it to tell the truth?"

Deakins stared at Steve. "Ya think that's all it is? Try five years in Leavenworth, not ta mention my wife and kids losing base housing and havin' nothin' ta live on." Deakins shook his head. "How do I tell 'em that daddy's gotta go away for years? How do I sacrifice them for ol' Spooky?"

Steve did not say anything. He remembered Shane saying the soldiers could go to jail. Steve had just hoped Shane was wrong; it was so hard to believe a soldier could go to jail just for telling the truth. "The colonel tell you that? That you'd go to jail for five years?"

Deakins nodded, then heaved a sigh. "Y'all kin tell Spooky I wanna help ya, but. . . ."

"Don't worry," Steve said. "He understands. Shane didn't even want me to come looking for you."

Deakins raised an eyebrow. "He didn't?"

"No," Steve replied. "He told me he didn't want you swapping places with him. Said he couldn't ask you to go to jail in his place. . . ." Steve shook his head angrily. "It's still not right."

"We can agree on that," Deakins said, looking down. "None of this is right." They sat in silence for a few moments until Deakins asked, "How's the man doin'? Ah heard 'bout him gettin' shot."

_Saving my ass - again_. The thought came unbidden to Steve. "It was bad, but it looks like he'll recover most of the way."

"Spooky must done be one of the luckiest fellas ever." Deakins grimaced as he looked back up. "I mean . . . not 'bout the charges. He jes seems ta have nine lives. He coulda easily bought it 'fore we found ya."

That was news to Steve. "What do you mean?"

"Didn't he tell ya?" Deakins sounded surprised. "He took the full hit off'n some grenade. Didn't expect him ta get back up, but he shore did. And then we pulled his fat outta the fryer in-" Deakins cut himself short. "Sorry, can't talk 'bout that."

"You mean Iraq? Shane told me," Steve said.

Deakins' eyes widened. "Didn't expect that. So y'all knows 'bout him getting his head bashed in. Fella was willin' ta just stand there and let the ole' Iraqis blow him away jes to keep 'em away from that other fella. But then those darn spooks are crazy mofos."

Steve was not really sure what Deakins meant. Shane had not told him the details of whatever happened in Iraq, but it did not sound much different from what happened in the aircraft hangar.

"Aww, it's prob'bly all some spook trick," Deakins said. "Y'know . . . . Make a show of things. Have a trial. A few weeks later, ol' Spooky'll prob'bly get pardoned or get a new name and home."

_If only that were true_, Steve said to himself. "I don't think so. Donovan's not that good an actor. He thinks the only deal is to go to jail for a few years and then get banned from the U.S."

Deakins rolled his eyes. "Ya'd think them ISA folks woulda have more sense, but then Spooky seems ta be the only one a them with a clue. At least, his jobs were a success."

"What does that mean?" Steve said.

"Meanin' he got that fella outta Iraq and he got y'all outta that compound." Deakins shook his head. "That was one FUBAR job. Y'all's the only thing we got right. . . . Bad intel, bad target."

Steve shook his head. "'Bad target'? I'm not following. I was the target."

"Yeah. . . . The secondary target."

For a moment, it seemed like the forest went completely silent. Steve stared at Deakins. _Secondary target_. That was what Steve thought Deakins had said. "Wait. . . ." Steve tried to process that. "'Secondary target'? What do you mean - 'secondary target'?"

Deakins set his gun down across the slats that formed the base of the hunting blind. Standing, he walked over to the railing and looked out at the woods.

"Damnation. . . ."

Steve was starting to understand. "You mean I wasn't the only target?"

"Nope," Deakins answered. "Hell, we all only found out 'bout y'all a few days 'fore the job. I always figured they got some last-minute intel and figured we mighta well have a secondary objective."

Steve took a deep breath. "A 'secondary objective'? That's what I was?"

"Ya think they'd send us in for one guy? Maybe if he'd got state secrets." Deakins looked at Steve suspiciously. "Ya don't got state secrets, do ya?"

"No. . . ." _I don't have state secrets_. "So . . . so how long did you prepare for the mission?"

Deakins seemed to think a little. "I'd say 'bout a month - a month 'fore Spooky showed up and we got told 'bout the secondary objective."

"So you were going into the compound no matter what?"

Deakins nodded. "Course we were." Then he frowned a little. "Maybe Spooky don't got a clue after all. I know we were told ta only talk about the secondary objective with him, but still. . . ."

"No. . . . Shane definitely didn't know. Still doesn't." Steve thought for a few minutes. It was all planned from the start and then they brought Shane in. But why? If the ISA was already sending in the soldiers, why did they even need Shane? And why did they make Shane think the mission was only because of his decision?

Steve turned away and put both hands on the railing as everything suddenly fell into place.

"Shane was their scapegoat," Steve said. "The perfect cover in case something went bad or word got out. He thought he was making the call and that's why he's willing to take the blame, but the call had nothing to do with him."

From behind him, Deakins said, "Sounds like y'all got played. . . . But I guess that's the spook business. Whaddya call it? Plausible deniability."

Steve raised a hand and pushed his hair back. It was a set-up from the start. And Shane fell for it. "Those son's of bitches." He turned his head back to Deakins. "What was your primary objective?"

"Guess there's no point in not tellin' ya," Deakins said. "Some buildin' in the middle of the place."

"The lab," Steve said. "Yeah . . . I know about that."

There was another silence. Deakins took a few paces to the edge of the blind and then turned back to face Steve. It was clear that the man was conflicted.

"I can't say I like what's goin' on," Deakin said. "Spooky don't done deserve none of this."

"But you can't testify for him," Steve added. "I get it. But the real truth is you won't testify. You can't really think the ISA will come down on you if you and your team testifies. They can't take that political heat."

Deakins shook his head. "They're lettin' Spooky go down and I'll betcha he knows where a lot of bodies are buried."

Steve responded with his own shake of his head. "You can think that, but the ISA knows Shane won't tell anyone where they are. So it doesn't matter what he knows; he's too much of a true believer to tell anyone."

_And that's what Tarrington's been counting on all along._

"Ya mean, the ISA is countin' on Spooky to keep his mouth shut no matter what?" Deakins seemed to ponder that for a moment. "I guess they's countin' on me an' the others ta do the same thing."

Steve nodded. "Those bastards have no loyalty to their own people, but they're betting on Shane and you guys being loyal to them."

Deakins was silent for a moment, then looked at Steve. "What about you? We got ya outta that camp and now ya want me ta risk my career and family for Spooky?"

Steve looked down. Asking Deakins to testify had been a lot easier in the abstract. "I don't want you to go to jail any more than I want Shane to. And if I could trade places with the man, I would. I owe him that." He sighed. "But I can't fix this by myself."

Deakins nodded. "I get what y'all is trying to do. I jes wish I could help but. . . . " His voice trailed off.

Steve was silent. There was no point in pushing the man any further. As much as Steve wanted to be mad, he really could not really blame Deakins. He chuckled silently at the irony that Shane would be happy Steve had failed his mission. _No_, Steve shook that thought away. He had not failed - not yet. There had to be a way to fix this without trading Shane's freedom for Deakins. Steve just had to figure out what it was.


	382. Chapter 382

Shane found himself leaning heavily on Simmons as they stepped into the foyer. He was completely winded and did not trust that the cane in his hand would provide enough support if his legs buckled.

"Are you okay, sir?" Simmons asked, not doing a good job of hiding the worry in his voice.

Shane nodded and wheezed, "Just . . . just give me a second."

"Very well. Shall we go upstairs? I have your room prepared."

Shane glanced at the flight of stairs, which, at that moment, seemed little more than an insurmountable Everest. Silently, he cursed himself for being this weak. "I . . . I think maybe I'll take some tea in the library."

He knew he was not fooling Simmons, but the butler was professional enough not to show his skepticism. "Very well, sir."

With Simmons' help, Shane managed to reach the couch in the library. Once he was seated, Simmons walked over to the tea service and then looked at Shane. "I'm sorry, sir. I'll have to fix a cup in the kitchen."

"That's fine," Shane said, as Simmons left the room. Now alone, Shane sat in silence. It was surprising how quiet the house seemed. Simmons had told him that Kim had taken Andrew shopping for a new coat, purportedly to let Shane get settled at the house without distractions, but Shane suspected the real reason was that Kim was trying to keep her distance.

The silence was interrupted a moment later with a rap on the door. Shane turned his head to see Eve in the doorway. She had a wide smile on her face.

"Welcome home, Daddy," she said, walking toward him. Shane instinctively started to rise, but decided better than to risk his shaky legs. He held out his arms and gave her a hug.

"Sweetheart, you have no idea how good it is to be home." Shane meant that sincerely. Despite his disappointment at not having Kim here, he was glad to see his daughter. He motioned for the edge of the couch. "Care to join your old man for a little chat?"

Eve nodded and took a seat. She glanced around. "So Kim's not here?"

Shane detected the snide undertone. "Eve . . . please."

"No," she said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised. I've . . . I've been trying, Dad. Really, I have." She looked down for a moment and then back at him. "So what are you going to do now?"

That was a good question. "I guess the main thing is to get better," Shane said. "Marcus says it's still a long road." _To whatever recovery I'll have_. "And I still have a trial to prepare for."

"That's no fun," Eve said bitterly, obviously referring to her various forays through the criminal justice system. "Speaking of which. . . ."

"What?"

Eve sighed. "Remember that call we had when I was in Africa? You know how you said I shouldn't come back because of what the reporters would do?"

Shane felt his heart sink, knowing what was coming. "She didn't. . . ."

"I'm not sure who 'she' is," Eve said. "But if you mean that reporter Rachel Knight, Julie Williams said she's been hanging around Wings, asking questions about me."

"I'm sorry." Shane remembered the hatchet job Rachel Knight had done on Kim, Kayla, and Steve. "I wish I could have spared you."

Eve smiled softly. "I've only got myself to blame. . . . I know I did a lot of rotten things. Sometimes I wonder why you didn't just kick me out."

"Oh, Sweetheart, I could never do that." Shane put an arm around Eve. "I love you no matter what, you know that."

"I. . . ." Eve did not finish, but let her voice trail off.

Shane started to respond, but was interrupted by Simmons returning to the library with the tea set. Shane hardly noticed. He was far more focused on the toddler taking short steps beside the butler.

"Jeannie!" Shane broke into a wide grin. The baby was moving steadily forward. "Now, would you look at that?" he said to Eve. "That's remarkable. I mean she was just barely able to take a step a few weeks ago."

In a hesitant voice, Eve replied, "I . . . I guess so." At Shane's look, she said, "Sorry, I don't know much about babies."

Jeannie toddled over to the couch and looked at them closely. Then she raised her arms to Shane. For a moment, he started to lean down to pick her up, but then remembered Marcus' warnings.

"I can't, darling," he said sadly.

Eve looked at him quizzically and then seemed to realize what Shane meant. "Here, Dad, let me. . . ." She leaned over, lifted Jeannie off the floor, and placed her in between the two of them. Once seated, Jeannie craned her had from side to side and studied both Shane and Eve.

At the hospital, when Kim had brought Jeannie, Shane had still been heavily medicated and the very notion that this little girl was truly his daughter had still been a bit like a dream. Now, he was lucid and it felt so much more real. He reached his hand forward, brushed her cheek, and smiled softly at his daughter.

"You're such a beautiful little girl," he said, eliciting a giggle from Jeannie. "You're beautiful and so smart." Still smiling, Shane looked up at Eve. "Just like your older sister." To Eve, he added, "If only Jeannie could be so lucky."

"Dad. . . ." Eve sounded hesitant and confused, and he spotted the hint of a tear forming in her eyes.

Shane kept looking at her. "I mean it. Do you have any idea how lucky I am? To have two such wonderful daughters." He reached out and brushed away the tear when it ran down Eve's cheek. "I love you, Eve. You've had some difficult times, but you've learned from them and you've grown into a smart and beautiful woman. I can only pray that Jeannie grows up to be as smart and as beautiful as her big sister . . . who makes me very proud."

Eve continued to fight back tears, but her voice broke when she tried to speak. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Shane's neck and hugged him tightly. Meanwhile, between them, Jeannie gurgled and reached toward him, causing both Eve and him to chuckle.

"Sibling rivalry, I guess," Eve said, pulling away and wiping away a few tears. "Looks like it's not a one-way street." She pulled Jeannie onto her lap. They looked at one another for a moment, before Jeannie broke into a wide grin, reached out, and tugged on some of Eve's hair. "Hey, not the hair, squirt," Eve protested, but she was laughing.

Watching his daughters, Shane found himself fighting back his own tears. He truly was lucky. He was alive, he was home, and he had his children with him.

Now he just needed one more thing to make his life complete.


	383. Chapter 383

"Well it's about time you showed up," Kayla heard Ellie say in a teasing voice as she walked in the door of the main lodge. "I was startin' ta wonder if you were gonna sleep til lunch."

Kayla blushed slightly. "Sorry," she said as she sat down at the table where Ellie and Lily were sitting. "I can't believe I slept so late. I guess I really was 'all tuckered out.'"

The women laughed at Kayla's attempted southern accent. "It's all right, sugar," Ellie said. "You're on vacation. You should get to sleep in." Ellie pointed to the baskets on the table. "There are some muffins and homemade donuts if you're hungry."

"Thanks." Kayla picked a blueberry muffin from the basket. Taking a bite, she nearly moaned. "This is delicious."

"It's one of Lily's specialties," Ellie said, smiling at her daughter-in-law.

Lily smiled shyly. "I'm glad you like the muffins. They're Roy's favorite too."

Kayla could see how Lily's eyes lit up at the mention of her husband. Kayla wondered if her eyes did the same when she talked about Steve.

"So if you got to sleep in, I guess that means the boys didn't wake you when they left this morning'?" Ellie asked. "I wish I could be that lucky. That husband of mine can stalk a deer without making a sound but he can't get dressed without waking the house."

Kayla and Lily laughed. "I know what ya mean," Lily giggled. "Roy's always tryin' to teach Darrell about walkin' softly so the deer can't hear 'em. Then this morning, he musta tripped three times just tryin' ta get out ta door."

"I guess I did get lucky," Kayla admitted as the laughter died down. "Or maybe I was just too asleep to hear St . . . stomping . . . I mean to hear Bill stomping around." Kayla cringed as she finished the sentence, knowing she sounded ridiculous.

"Well the sound probably don't travel as far in that nice cabin you got," Ellie said with a sly grin. "I'm not sure how y'all pulled that off, but I can't say I'm sorry. I'd rather see y'all enjoy it than listen to Cousin Wyatt complain about it."

Kayla joined the laughter again. "You'll have to ask my husband about that," she said with a sly grin of her own. Then thinking back to the previous night she added, "But we are definitely enjoying it."

"Oh really." Ellie raised a brow. "How long y'all been married anyway?"

_That's a good question_, Kayla thought silently. It depended on which wedding you start counting from. Figuring that was not a good answer, she counted from what her heart always told her was the real date. "A little over three years."

"Why you're practically newlyweds then. No wonder. . . ." Her voice trailed off as she gave Kayla a knowing look.

"How long have you and Roy been married?" Kayla asked Lily, wanting to change the subject.

"Nine years," Lily replied with the same shy smile as her eyes lit up again.

"Roy and Lily was high school sweethearts," Ellie said, smiling affectionately at Lily. "Seems like they got married 'bout five minutes after they graduated high school."

"Well, we had to get married before Roy left for basic training," Lily said, shrugging. "Otherwise, we would have had to wait months."

"Roy's been in the army the whole time you've been married?" Kayla could not imagine how difficult that must have been for Lily.

Lily nodded. "Sometimes it seems like we've spent more time apart than together. But he always wanted to be a soldier."

"Really?"

This time Ellie answered. "Yep. His daddy was a soldier and, ever since Roy was a small boy, all he ever wanted was to follow in his daddy's footsteps." She grew quiet. "And his cousin Randall. Randall was a lot older 'n Roy, but he lived with us and was like Roy's big brother. He was killed in Vietnam when Roy was just seven. Ever since, Roy always said he wanted to serve his country like his daddy and cousin."

"I'm sorry," Kayla said. "That must have been a terrible loss."

Ellie smiled sadly. "It was, but it was a long time ago and when you're a military wife and mother, you come to accept that's part of life." She shook her head. "Aw, who'm I kidding? I'm awful proud of Roy, but I can't say I don't sometimes wish he'd decided to be a bus driver instead." She shook her head. "Especially when he comes home with some new bullet hole in 'im."

Kayla's eyes widened at Ellie's remark. She knew the bullet hole Ellie was talking about was the wound Deakins had suffered while helping to rescue Steve.

"Ellie!" Lily exclaimed, nodding her head towards Kayla.

"Oh, stop it." Ellie rolled her eyes. "It's no national secret that Roy took a bullet to his side. Maybe he can't tell us how it happened, but anybody can see the dang scar."

Kayla suddenly felt very uncomfortable. These people had been nothing but warm and welcoming to her and Steve, and here she was lying to them. She could have told them both exactly how Deakins had been injured. A part of her wanted to do just that - and to thank them all for what Roy had done for Steve. But she also knew she could not reveal the truth.

"You okay, Kay?" Kayla looked up to see Lily and Ellie looking at her with concern. "Ya kinda seemed somewhere else there for a minute."

"I'm fine. I guess . . . I guess I was just thinking about . . . something."

"Like maybe that accident Bill was in?" Lily asked sympathetically. "That must have been real scary."

"It was." Kayla took a deep breath. "But it's over now and he's just fine. . . . assuming he doesn't kill himself on this hunting trip."

"Well, knowing my boys and this family, I can't tell you it's not a possibility." Ellie began laughing again. "Lordy, I think those deer might have the upper hand this time around."

Kayla and Lily again joined the laughter. When it subsided, Ellie excused herself to the kitchen and Lily went to check on her children, leaving Kayla alone at the table.

As they left, Kayla's smile faded. Wanting to get Roy Deakins to help Shane had seemed like the right thing to do, but now Kayla was no longer sure. Was it really right to ask Deakins to risk his career to help Shane? And what would happen to his family if he did? It would not just be Deakins who would be hurt. Ellie might have to see her son arrested. And Lily might lose her husband and the father of her children. These people who had welcomed her and Steve into their family. . . . They would suffer if Deakins did what Steve asked.

Now, Kayla had to wonder if they were right to be asking. She was not sure anymore.


	384. Chapter 384

Kim ushered Andrew through the door of Alice's Restaurant.

"Can I play games?" Andrew asked excitedly.

"After you have some lunch, young man," Kim said. She put both hands on his shoulders and steered him to a booth that Alice Horton pointed them toward. Kim helped Andrew out of his new jacket, courtesy of an early morning visit to the local kid's clothing store.

The restaurant was fairly empty for a Saturday, and Alice herself came over to the table to take their order. "Kimberly, it's wonderful to see you," Alice said with a big smile. "And this gentlemen, why I bet he would like some Mickey Mouse pancakes?"

Andrew laughed. "No, silly, it's too late for pancakes."

"Phooey," Alice replied. "It's never too late for pancakes." She turned back to Kim. "How are you, Kimberly?"

"I'm fine," Kim lied, wondering if she had any hope of deceiving Alice. _Nope_, she thought to herself as she saw the slight frown on Alice's face.

"And how's Shane?"

Andrew answered before Kim could. "Daddy's coming home today!"

"That's wonderful news," Alice said, her eyes never leaving Kim.

Kim felt the color rising in her cheeks. "Yes, it is." Quickly, to change the subject, Kim glanced at the menu and said, "Why don't you bring Andrew a kid's cheeseburger and fries? I'll have a tuna salad."

"And I'll have a cup of coffee and one of your doughnuts, Mrs. H."

"Uncle Bo!" Andrew cried out, jumping out of the booth to give Bo a hug.

With a grin, Bo ruffled Andrew's hair. "Hey, there, little man. How's it hanging?"

"Bo!" Kim nearly shouted.

Bo rolled his eyes and nudged Andrew. "That just means 'how are you?' - in manspeak."

"Bo!"

"All right, all right." Bo grew serious. "Look, I do really need to talk to you."

Kim knew that look in Bo's eyes. It was the "My sis has a problem and I'm going to get it out of her" look, but she also knew that Bo would cause a scene if she did not at least talk to him.

As Bo took a seat on the other side of the table, Kim reached for her purse and pulled out some change. "Andrew, honey, why don't you go play some games until our food gets here? I'm going to talk to Uncle Bo." Andrew grabbed the coins greedily and nearly sprinted for the other side of the room. "Just stay where I can see you," Kim called after him. Then, with a sigh, she turned to her brother. "Okay, baby brother, what's going on?"

"I should be asking you the same thing," Bo said in a low voice. "I saw Shane last night, and that's one pretty down-in-the-dumps Englishman."

Kim hoped the warning was clear in her voice. "Bo, this isn't the time or place to discuss this."

"Yes, it is." He leaned across the table. "What are you doing, Kimber? I don't get it. A few weeks ago, you would have been over the moon if Shane wanted to get back together with you."

"That was a few weeks ago," Kim said evenly. "A lot's happened since then."

Bo shook his head, as if in disbelief. "So you're scared. I get it. Losing someone is hard, Kimber. I've been through it. But that pain you felt when you thought Shane died. . . . Not living life because you're afraid of feeling that kind of pain. It's not worth it."

Kim looked down at the Formica table-top. Was that it? Was her fear about how she felt at that moment the reason she was struggling? She remembered that feeling - the complete numbness, the emptiness that filled her. Kim never wanted to feel that way again, but, at the same time, she could not say that was the reason for her hesitancy. Or at least, she could not say it was the entire reason.

"You don't understand everything, Bo." She looked up at him. "There's a lot more to it."

"No there isn't," Bo said. "Look, Kimber, I'm going to tell you exactly what I told Shane a little while back. You're nuts. You're pushing away the man you love and I don't care why you're doing it. You'll regret it in the end." He paused before saying, "Don't be like me and Hope. Don't screw it up and only realize too late what you could have had."

Kim wanted to tell Bo this was not the same. Her issues with Shane were not the same as Bo's with Hope's. Hope never pushed Bo away like Shane did Kim. Hope and Bo had struggles, but they did not inflict the same pain that she and Shane inflicted on each other.

And there were the children to think about. Andrew had been through so much in his young life. How would he be affected if she and Shane got back together only to split up yet again? Their son had come through so many traumas already; there had to be some limits to his resiliency.

Thinking about Andrew, Kim turned her head in the direction of the games he was playing.

"Oh, for God's sake," she said, rising immediately to her feet. Across the restaurant, Andrew was not alone. Rachel Knight was standing next to him and feeding a quarter into the ski-ball game Andrew was playing.

Storming across the room, Kim grabbed Andrew's arm and pulled him away from Rachel. Tight-lipped, she said, "Andrew . . . go back to the table, sweetie. I'll be there in a minute."

"But I'm in the middle of a game, Mommy."

"That's okay," Kim said. "You can play later - after we discuss talking to strangers."

Andrew looked confused. "But she's not a stranger. She said she's Eve's friend."

"Did she now?" Kim asked, but she did not wait for a response. "Go on to the table, Andrew." She waited until he had walked away before turning on Rachel. "You stay away from my son."

Rachel smiled sweetly. "But he's such a nice boy. And I was just talking with him about his sister. You know-"

"Oh, I know," Kim spat. "So that's what you're planning next? You haven't done enough to hurt this family, so now you're going after Shane's daughter?"

"Kim. . . ." Bo's hand touched her shoulder.

Kim shook her head. "Don't tell me not to make a scene. After what she's already done, I don't want her anywhere near my family."

"Your family?" Rachel raised an eyebrow. "That's an interesting way of putting things. So am I to take it that you and ex-Captain Donovan are once again a couple. The 'hooker and the spy' once more?"

Before Kim could respond, Bo stepped between them. "Listen, lady. . . . You heard my sister. Leave her and her family alone. They've been through enough without you spewing more garbage about them."

"Garbage? Is that so?" Rachel looked at Kim. "Care to point out a single false thing I've printed? I think you'd find my facts are quite accurate."

"Just not the spin you put on them," Kim said angrily. "How do you sleep at night, knowing your distortions hurt innocent people?"

Rachel laughed. "I would hardly call you innocent, Ms. Brady - not with your history."

"Why you!" Bo shouted at Rachel, but Kim grabbed him before he could do anything. His outburst obviously attracted attention from others in the restaurant, because Alice Horton hurried over. Reaching them, she rolled her eyes.

"I should have known you would be in the middle of this," she said to Rachel. "Now I think you had better be leaving. You're not welcome here."

Rachel took a breath. "I'm just doing my duty as a reporter."

"I'll bet," Alice replied. She looked Rachel up and down, taking in the tight jeans and low-cut blouse that seemed to be the norm for the reporter. "Well, if you insist on staying, I'm sure I could fix you a bowl of split pea soup. I do have to warn you that I've been a little clumsy recently."

With a snort, Rachel glared at Alice, then at Bo and Kim. "Fine. I'll leave. But I won't be intimidated by you." She turned around and stormed out.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked Kim.

With a nod, Kim turned and started back for the table. "I will be. . . . I just can't believe that witch. Like she hasn't gotten her pound of flesh already."

"Well, I'll make sure she understands that she is not welcome in my establishment," Alice said. "I tried to be subtle the last time, but she just doesn't seem to appreciate subtlety."

Kim chuckled. "No, Mrs. Horton, I don't think she's the subtle type." She looked down at Andrew, who seemed confused by the situation. "It's okay, honey. You just have to realize that even when somebody says they know our family, that's not always true. So remember what Daddy and I told you about talking to strangers, okay?"

"Yes, Mommy." Andrew lowered his eyes.

"Hey, don't feel bad, kiddo." Bo slid into the booth next to Andrew. "Everything's fine now."

Alice smiled. "Of course, it is. And it looks like your food is ready, so let me bring it over."

As she walked away, Bo looked at Kim, then Andrew, and then back at Kim. He obviously did not seem comfortable continuing their conversation about her and Shane in front of Andrew. At that, Kim felt relieved.

But Bo made it clear that he was not going to let it go. He leaned forward once more and said, in a low voice, "We're not done, Kimber. I want you to think about what I said. Don't wait until too late or you're going to regret it forever."


	385. Chapter 385

As they drove back to the lodge, Deakins insisted that Steve join him for a post-hunt drink. Steve wanted to find Kayla to report on his talk with Deakins, but the soldier was having nothing of that. "It's tradition," Deakins said as they approached the lodge in a four-wheel-drive. On the flatbed behind them was a buck that Deakins had shot in the late-morning. As they reached the lodge, the driver reported that Deakins had been the only successful hunter that day.

"So that gives you bragging rights," Steve said.

Deakins shrugged. "No big deal. Jethro and Jim Bob may be a mite jealous, but they've got a few more days here."

As they got off the vehicle, Deakins gave the driver instructions about processing the deer. Then he turned to Steve. "C'mon, Jo- I mean Daniels. I'm sure ol' Bubba has the beer flowin' right now."

"Or Aunt Patty has a bottle of Jack to share," Steve muttered.

Deakins laughed. "Y'all seems to have us figured out. C'mon. I'm sure the game's on."

"The game?" Steve raised an eyebrow as he started up the steps.

"Ah . . . ya don't have us figured out completely. Georgia football - the Deakins family religion. They might say they're all Baptists, but if'n the Dawgs were playin' on Sunday, none of 'em would be in church."

Entering the lodge, they were greeted by the sound of cheers from the back of the building. Steve followed Deakins down the back hallway to the room where the family had eaten dinner the night before. Today, it was set up with a bunch of chairs surrounding a television.

Spotting them, Jethro leaned over from his chair, pulled two cans of Pabst out of an ice-filled bucket, and tossed them to Deakins and Steve. Once they were seated, Jethro quickly filled them in on the score - Georgia was beating Ole Miss - and Bubba began quizzing Deakins about the hunt. After a bit of ribbing from Deakins over the fact that the other hunters had bagged nothing, they all got shushed by Aunt Patty.

"Cut down that racket, you boys," she said. "Don't ya see the game's on."

Everyone settled back to watch and, a few minutes later, Steve felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Kayla leaning over the back of his chair. "Hey, baby."

"Hey, yourself," she said, coming around and taking a seat on his lap and giving him a kiss. "How was your morning?"

There was something in the way she asked that made Steve wonder what had happened while he was gone, but he knew better than to ask right now. "It was fine. Roy got himself a deer."

"That's great." Kayla reached down, took the can of beer from his hand, and sipped it. She suppressed a grimace, but Steve didn't miss the "yech" that escaped. Whispering, so only Steve could hear, she said, "I don't think I've had a Pabst since high school. And that was because it was the cheapest beer we could find. I see it hasn't improved with age."

"Don't knock free beer, Sweetness," Steve whispered back. "Let's just enjoy the game." He deliberately ignored her skeptical look.

Jethro did not. "You ain't a fan, Miss Kay?"

Kayla acted offended, but Steve knew she was kidding. "Now why would you assume that?" she said in mock outrage. "I'll have you know that I can diagram a hell of a slant, halfback pass out of an I-formation not to mention I can debate the finer points of a veer versus a wishbone option."

Jethro's beer bottle wavered in his hand and Steve feared it was about to drop.

"Close that mouth of yours, Jethro," Aunt Patty snapped. "You'll start catching flies."

Kayla chuckled. "My older sister wasn't much of a fan, so my brothers used to have me quiz them on their playbooks."

"So. . . ." Jethro seemed to recover the power of speech. "So, uh, what college do you back? I mean, don't everyone have a team?"

She smiled. "My college didn't have a football team, but I'm Catholic and from the Midwest. I'd probably have been kicked out of the house if I didn't root for Notre Dame."

"Damn Papists," muttered Aunt Patty in a voice loud enough for half the room to hear. It earned another collective eye roll.

Jethro said, "Don't mind her." He grinned. "They showed a lot of your games last year. That Rocket Ismail was a crazy player."

Kayla's smile faltered. "I . . . I didn't really get to watch much last year. . . . There was a lot of . . . stuff going on. . . ."

Steve understood what Kayla was not saying. With his "death" and then dealing with the aftermath, football was probably not high on Kayla's list of activities that year.

It seemed that Kayla's tone told Jethro not to press, so he turned his attention to Steve. "And what about you Bill? You also a Domer fan?"

"Nah, not really." Steve had lost track of sports when he joined the Merchant Marines. "I grew up in L.A., so I grew up watching USC. My best buddy was a pretty big fan; we used to sneak into the Coliseum to watch them play."

Bubba laughed. "And here I thought Notre Dame and USC fans hated each other. So how'd you two get together?"

Almost in unison, Kayla and Steve answered, "Fate," then broke up laughing. Steve added, "And we don't talk football much."

"Actually," Kayla said. "We don't because I'd tease him mercilessly about how we've beaten his team for the past eight years in a row."

Steve made a point of grimacing, "Thanks, Sweetness. Did you have to rub it in?"

"Can't help myself." Kayla chuckled. "But I love you anyway," she added, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Well . . . we'll let you stay," Jethro said, laughing. "Hell, we let Cousin Wyatt come, and he roots for Miami."

From her leather seat, Aunt Patty harrumphed. "Always knew there was sumpthin' funny 'bout that one."

A couple of people laughed at that, but their laughs died as everyone's attention jumped back to the game. On screen, the Georgia QB launched a long pass and a receiver made a diving, one-handed catch.

"Damn! Would ya look at that?" Deakins said, as everyone cheered. Steve realized for the first time that Deakins' wife and children had joined them and his son was now sitting in his lap, cheering along. Deakins looked down at his son proudly and ruffled the boy's light blond hair. Lily sat beside Deakins with their daughter next to her. As Steve looked on, Roy leaned over and kissed his wife on the cheek, causing her to break out in a big smile.

Watching them together, Steve thought about something Shane had said. Steve had asked why Shane was putting Deakins' family above his own, and Shane had insisted he wasn't - it was just that Deakins' family was important too. Seeing the family in person, Steve understood. He could no more ask Deakins to give up his family anymore than he would give up his own.

"What are you thinking about?" Kayla whispered in his ear.

He looked up at her, gave her a crooked smile, and sighed. "How we're back at square one."

Kayla seemed to understand, but she did not seem upset. Instead, she offered him an encouraging smile. "I'm sure you'll find another way."

Steve would have to. He just did not know how he could. His plan had seemed so simple. Talk to Deakins. Make him see reason. Remind him of how Shane had saved his life. Of course, Deakins would agree to testify.

When Steve was in Salem, it all sounded so easy.

The room erupted in another round of cheers as the Georgia running back broke through a tackle and raced into the endzone. The men began high-fiving.

"I swear that Hearst kid's gonna win the Heisman before he's done," said Bubba, as the TV showed replay after replay of the touchdown. "Best dang back the Dawg's have had since ol' Herschel Walker."

In Deakins' lap, the little boy announced, "When I grow up, I'm gonna break all them records. Gonna be me a Dawg."

"Are you now?" Steve asked. He was amused by such a pronouncement from a boy who was probably only about three or four.

The boy nodded seriously. "Yep. And then I'm gonna be a soldier like my daddy. He says football's jes like bein' a soldier. Ain't that right, Daddy?"

Deakins looked down at his son proudly. "That's right, Darrell. And why's that?"

"It's 'cause yore like brothers, an' ya have ta work together and ya always got your brother's back." The boy finished and looked at his dad for approval. Steve suspected that the boy's little speech had been instilled in him ever since he could talk.

Deakins' eyes met Steve's. Then the man looked away, breaking eye contact. He was trying to cover up the flush rising in his cheeks.

_He has nothing to be sorry for_, Steve thought.

"Your daddy's right," Steve said to the boy. "There's nothing more important than having your buddy's back. And when you're on a team, you've got to work together to find a way to win - even when your first plan of attack doesn't work." He turned his attention to Deakins, who was now looking up again. "Ain't that right, Roy?"


	386. Chapter 386

Shane slowly became aware of his surroundings. For an instant, he did not recognize where he was and he sat up too quickly. He stopped only when a sharp dagger stabbed his chest, causing him to cry out in pain.

"Sir!" Simmons rushed through the door.

"I'm . . . I'm okay," Shane said, once again fighting through the pain. He looked around the library, still a little disoriented. This was the first time in weeks he had woken up anywhere other than the hospital. "I guess I fell asleep." That was said almost as much to himself as to Simmons

Simmons nodded. "Yes, sir. Miss Eve said that you had nodded off."

"How long was I asleep?" Shane asked.

"About two hours, I believe." Simmons walked over to a tray he had set up across the room and poured a glass of water. He opened up a prescription bottle, shook out one of Shane's pain pills, and carried the pill and the glass back over to the couch. "I believe you're overdue for one of these."

Looking at the clock over the mantle, Shane realized Simmons was right. No wonder it had hurt when he woke up. Gratefully, he took the pill, swallowed it, and washed it down with the water. After taking a moment to let the painkiller kick in, he asked, "Is Eve still here?"

"No, sir. She said something about meeting Madame Williams at Wings."

Now Shane remembered. Before he had fallen asleep, Eve had said she had a matter she wanted to discuss with Julie. He looked up again at Simmons. "And Kim? Is she home yet?"

Again, Simmons answered in the negative. "No, sir. Madame Brady and Master Andrew have not returned yet. I took the liberty of putting Miss Jeannie down for her nap when Miss Eve left." Simmons paused, before adding, "Sir, Mickey Horton called a little earlier. He said that he had some matters that he needed to discuss and wanted to know when you would able to have visitors"

"No time like the present," Shane said. He reached for the cane that he had set beside the couch and, using it and the arm rest, managed to stand up. He took a couple of breaths, walked slowly to the desk, and picked up the phone. Mickey said he would be over right away, so Shane used the next few minutes to do a little walking before he returned to the couch. Simmons led Mickey into the library shortly thereafter.

"I bet you're glad to be home," Mickey said after they shook hands and Shane motioned Mickey to a chair. Then they waited for Simmons to bring some coffee, step out of the room, and close the doors behind him.

Settling back against the cushions on the couch, Shane looked at Mickey. "I guess this probably isn't a just a visit to say hi, is it?"

Mickey shook his head. "I'm sorry, but it isn't. Judge Lambert issued some rulings yesterday afternoon, and I figured I should tell you about them. I'm afraid they're not very good for us. He rejected all of our legal challenges to the charges."

"So what does that mean?" Shane asked.

"It means that, if you go to trial, you'll face everything - murder, conspiracy to commit murder, treason, espionage, expedition against a foreign country, you name it."

Shane let that sink in. "I should hardly be surprised. Chief Tarrington did say the judge was in the ISA's pockets." He looked down at his hands. "So what now?"

"Now we have to figure out how to mount a defense - unless you change your mind and plead guilty." Mickey watched him carefully for a reaction.

"No, I told you," Shane said. "I'm not prepared to do that. I can't give up on my family yet. Only if that's the last resort."

Mickey gave him a sympathetic nod. "It may be the last resort."

"Not yet, it isn't," Shane shot back. Then he lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that. I just don't want to give up yet."

Mickey seemed to understand. "Look, it's pretty clear the government wants this to go away with a plea deal, so the option will stay open. If that changes, I'm sure Louis Pasqua will tell me. But I still have to prepare a case, and, right now, you haven't given me anything. I don't even know the names of the soldiers-"

"We've been over that," Shane said. "We're not calling them. I won't ask them to go to jail and throw away their lives for me."

They both fell silent for a few minutes. Finally, Mickey asked, "Isn't there something we can do? I mean, I've got to at least look like I'm trying to prepare a case. I can go through the motions and talk to Steve. And maybe I can do some things to make the government think I'm going to prove what happened to Steve, as if that's part of the case. At least, it will look like we're mounting some kind of defense, not just stalling."

That sounded like a good idea, except for one thing. "Just be careful, Mickey," Shane cautioned. "All the roads leading from that boat explosion go right to Lawrence Alamain's doorstep. He's dangerous. I already think he killed Maurice Marchand, and I don't want anything happening to you because you're making a pretense of putting on a defense."

Mickey did not seem particularly surprised at what Shane had said about Marchand, and he just nodded. "I'll be careful. But it still doesn't help you beat the charges."

"No. . . ." Shane leaned forward, grimacing slightly as he felt a jab along the sternum. "But I had a thought about that."

Mickey's eyes narrowed. "Go ahead."

"Well . . . from what I learned going through Kim's trial, it seems like all the evidence is given to the jury and they're told what the law is. But after that, the jury can basically do whatever they want. It's not like they have to explain why they decided a case the way they did." Shane paused. "I'm right, am I not?"

Mickey nodded. "That's right."

"So what if something happened between now and the trial. . . . something that would counteract all of the lies and the rumors in the press - something that had a big impact on Salem?"

"A good impact, I hope?" Mickey said.

"Yes," Shane answered. "A very good - and a very big - impact. And it was because of something I did. How would that affect the jury?"

Mickey seemed to think that through a bit. "It's hard to say. What you seem to be describing is what we call 'jury nullification.' It's basically asking the jury to ignore the evidence and law of the case actually in front of it, and decide the case based on some other factor. Whether it would work depends on what the other factor is. I think it would have to be pretty significant to get a jury to overlook murder."

"But it's something we could do?" Shane said.

"Well. . . ." Mickey hesitated. "Technically, it's illegal. The jurors are sworn to uphold the law and are instructed to decide the case based on the facts and evidence they are given. Of course, they're human, so they will come to any case with some bias."

Shane understood. "And they will be reluctant to send me to prison if I've done something important to help Salem?"

"I guess. But the people of Salem already know you, Shane. You stopped that drug ring, you helped stop Stefano DiMera from blowing up the city, you defused that bomb a few years ago at the Brady Fish Market. . . ." Mickey seemed perplexed. "What else could you possibly do for Salem that would have a bigger impact than that."

Shane sat back. "I have an idea, Mickey. Maybe nothing will come of it, but I have an idea."

"Okay." Mickey let out a deep breath. "There's just something I need to warn you about. As I told you, jury nullification is illegal. As an attorney, it's not something I can actually encourage the jurors to do. And I'm sure the government would try to keep all mention of whatever this 'big impact' thing is out of the courtroom. So you'd be taking a big risk that the jurors even know about whatever you did."

"I understand," Shane said. "I do. It just might be a risk that I have to take."


	387. Chapter 387

Kayla was having a great time sitting in Steve's lap, watching the game, and acting like any other football fan in America. It felt shockingly normal. She had thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon, and it had been very entertaining to watch the Deakins family live and die with every play.

The game was nearly over and, with Georgia winning by a comfortable margin, the atmosphere had become much more relaxed in the last few minutes and everybody was now talking about Georgia's chances against Vanderbilt the next week. The consensus seemed to be that Georgia should win easily.

A few moments later, the group started clapping and exchanging high-fives. Kayla stood up, laughing as Bubba let out a rebel yell.

"I think I'm glad they won," Steve said, standing behind her. "It might have been pretty depressing around here otherwise."

Kayla laughed and took Steve's hand as they trailed behind the group making its way out of the lodge. Outside, several of the boys were already tossing a football, apparently intent on recreating plays from their favorite team.

Kayla felt Steve wrap his arms around her waist. "What do you want to do now, Sweetness?" he asked in a husky tone, his lips barely brushing her ear.

_Damn he's good_, Kayla thought as the shivers ran down her spine, telling her exactly what it wanted to do. But, before she could respond to his question, the loud crack of a rifle rang through the camp.

Kayla froze.

_Looking down she saw Mike's body, the blood spilling out on the ground._

Another shot rang out.

_Kim was screaming at Andrew to run. Kayla watched helplessly as her nephew ran towards the woods._

_Cal fired his gun again._

_Kayla could smell the gunpowder. She felt the barrel of the gun pushing into her temple._

_Kim was crying._

_Kayla closed her eyes waited for bullet that would end her life._

_She was going to die._

"Sweetness!" She nearly sobbed as she heard Steve's voice in her mind. A voice she would never hear again.

"Is she okay, Bill?" Kayla heard another voice. She was confused. Who was Bill?

"I'm not sure." It was Steve's voice again, louder and stronger this time. It was like he was right next to her. She slowly opened her eyes.

It was daylight, not dark. She looked around and saw the trees, but instead of Kim and Cal, she saw Steve and a woman. She knew the woman.

"That's right, baby." Steve smiled at her. "Just look at me."

Kayla tried to focus on him, but another shot rang out and she closed her eyes again.

"Dammit, tell those idiots to stop shooting," Steve yelled.

In the distance, Kayla heard another voice, deep and authoritative shouting out orders of some kind.

"It's okay, Sweetness," Steve pleaded. "Open your eyes for me."

Kayla opened her eyes again. Steve was still there, stroking her face. Ellie was standing behind him, looking at her with concern and sympathy.

"You're okay, baby. You're right here with me." Steve continued talking softly.

Kayla looked around slowly. Beyond Steve and Ellie, several other members of the Deakins clan were staring at her. Her face flushed in embarrassment. _They must think I'm crazy_.

"Are you okay, Kay?" Ellie asked. "I'm sorry if those fools and their shootin' scared ya."

"No. I . . . I'm fine." Kayla pushed away from Steve. "I'm just going to go lay down for awhile." She walked quickly away from the curious eyes and towards the cabin, still trying to control her rapid heartbeat.

"Sweetness! Wait!" Steve called after her.

Kayla didn't slow down or even turn around. All she wanted to do was get out of there, away from the pitying looks and her own embarrassing reaction to a few celebratory gunshots.

"Kayla! Stop!" Steve shouted behind her as she reached the cabin door. Closing her eyes and leaning against the door, she stopped and waited for Steve to catch up.

She heard Steve's boots on the deck stairs and then his footsteps slowed as he neared her. "Baby," he called softly. "Look at me. Please."

Kayla turned and saw Steve standing a few steps away, looking like he was unsure whether to approach her or not.

"What happened back there, Sweetness? Why did you run away from me?"

Kayla just shook her head, feeling the tears streaming down her cheeks. She had no idea what to say.

Slowly, Steve closed the distance between them. Taking the key from her hand, he unlocked the cabin door and led her inside. Without a word, he led her to the couch, sat down, and pulled her into his lap. Then he wrapped his arms around her and held her.

Kayla closed her eyes and focused on the feel of Steve's arms. She did not understand why these attacks kept happening to her. Why couldn't she just put it all behind her?

As she sat in the comfort of Steve's arms, she waited for his inevitable questions. Instead, he just tenderly ran his hands down her back and arms and softly kissed her hair.

They stayed like that for several minutes, then Kayla heard Steve begin speaking, his voice so quiet she could barely make out his words.

"When we got you out of that hanger, all I wanted to do was put the whole thing behind us. I wanted to believe that you were okay. But I knew that wasn't true. From that first night when you had that nightmare, I knew."

Kayla tried to pull back and say something but Steve tightened his grip and kept her close to his chest.

"Just listen for a minute, baby," he said, loosening his grip as Kayla relaxed against him again. "I thought maybe it would get better, that you just needed a little time." He kissed the side of her head again. "But I could still feel you trembling at night. You'd say you were just cold, but I could feel the difference."

Kayla felt the tears build again as Steve continued to talk.

"Even after Shane told me what happened when you visited him. Even after I saw for myself at home before we left on this trip, I still didn't want to see it." He lifted Kayla's chin so he could see her face. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Sorry?" Kayla choked. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah, I did, Sweetness," Steve replied with a sad look. "I should have recognized the signs. Hell, I've lived them." He looked deeply in her eyes. "You had a flashback out there, didn't you? It's the same thing that happened at the hospital and at home, isn't it?"

Kayla dropped her eyes. Is that what had happened? She did not really remember. "I . . . I don't know," she finally said. "I remember hearing the gunshot and then . . . ."

"What?" Steve asked, his voice so quiet and tender. "Then what?"

"I . . . I'm not sure," Kayla said, still refusing to meet his eye. "I . . . it was dark out and cold . . . and then it wasn't . . . and then I saw you . . . I don't know, it's all jumbled up."

"I know, baby." Steve kissed the top of her head again. He lifted her chin again. "I think it's time you told me what happened with Winters."

Kayla shook her head. "You already know what happened. You were there when we told the story to Jack."

"No, baby." Steve tenderly stroked her cheek. "I was there when Kim told Jack what happened. You didn't say anything. I think it's time you talked about it."

"What do you want me to say?" Kayla asked, turning away again. "Cal ran us off the road. He killed Mike and tried to kill Andrew. Then he took us to that hanger."

"There's more to it and you know it, Kayla." Steve pulled her back to his chest. "You don't have to be afraid to tell me, baby. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." His hands made slow, circular motions on her back. "What happened after the car went off the road?"

As much as Kayla did not want to relive those memories, she knew Steve was right. She had done enough research trying to help Steve to recognize what was going on. Slowly, haltingly, she began telling Steve what had happened.

She told him about how Mike had stepped out of the wreckage of the car and how Cal had calmly and deliberately killed him. Then she told him how Cal had ordered her and Kim from the car and had threatened to kill Kayla.

She paused for a moment, taking a few deep breaths just as she remembered Steve doing when he was working through his memories.

"That's right, baby. Take your time," he whispered soothingly.

"Cal figured out that Andrew was hiding under Kim's coat in the backseat. I . . . I saw him aiming his gun at the backseat. He was going to kill Andrew. So I jumped on him. The gun went off. It must have been right by my head, it was so loud."

She took another deep breath. "Kim was yelling at Andrew to run. Cal threw me to the ground and I could see him aiming at Andrew again. I . . . I hit his legs, I guess, just as Cal fired another shot."

"You did good, Kayla," Steve said quietly. "Andrew got away."

Kayla nodded. "Cal was so mad, though. He grabbed me and pulled me up and . . ." She stopped. She could see the rage on Cal's face, hear the hatred in his voice.

"Stay with me, baby." Steve cradled her face and looked into her eyes. "I'm right here. You're safe. Remember that."

Kayla blinked rapidly and Cal's face disappeared. It was just Steve, looking at her with love and concern.

"That's right, Sweetness." He cradled her again. "Just feel my arms around you and tell me what happened."

Kayla took several more deep breaths before speaking. "He pulled me up and put his arm around my shoulders so I couldn't move. Then he put the gun to my head." She closed her eyes as the fear came flooding back.

"I've got you, Kayla. He can't hurt you now." Kayla felt Steve's arms tighten around her. "Nothing can hurt you now."

Somehow Kayla knew that was true. All the fear she had been holding in for so long finally gave bursting out in a rush. "I knew he was going to pull that trigger. There was nothing that was going to stop him." Kayla felt the tears flow down her face as she sobbed against Steve's chest.

"It seemed like that moment lasted forever and I all I could think of was you and Stephanie. I could see her - going to school, riding her bike, graduating, getting married - all of the things I was going to miss, all the time that I would never have with you."

"Oh, baby," Steve cried. She could feel his tears falling with her own.

"All I could do is stand there, waiting for it to be over," Kayla sobbed. "I couldn't fight, I couldn't move. I just waited."

"It's not your fault, Sweetness." Steve looked down into her eyes. "There was nothing you could do."

Kayla fought to control her breathing again and the tears finally slowed. "Somehow, Kim convinced Cal not to kill me and he took us to the hanger." She took another deep breath. "After that, he pretty much left me alone, except for reminding me over and over that he didn't plan on leaving any witnesses when he took Kim away with him."

Steve kissed her cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, Kayla."

Kayla shook her head. "I know. But it's not your fault. It was no one's fault but Cal's." She reached out and stroked his face. "Thank you."

"For what, baby?"

"For being here with me, like this. For listening. For making me realize I'd been holding so much in." She looked deeply in his eye. "I wasn't deliberately keeping anything from you. I just wanted to make it all go away, I guess."

"I know, Sweetness." Steve offered a gentle smile. "I've been there myself, remember?"

Kayla nodded and laid her head back on Steve's chest. Once again, his arms wrapped around her and held her close. There in the comfort and safety of her husband's arms, Kayla finally felt completely at peace for the first time in a long time.


	388. Chapter 388

"Can I see your scar?" Andrew asked, from his perch on the edge of Shane's bed. They were playing a game of chess and the question made Shane almost drop the rook that he was moving across the board.

"Oh, you don't really want to see it," Shane said, lightly. "It looks just an ugly cut, kind of like when you hurt your knee."

Andrew grew silent for a moment and then looked up with his big eyes. Shane knew what was coming. Andrew wanted to know what happened with Cal; Shane doubted anyone had really told him the story.

"Did Uncle Cal shoot you?" Andrew asked. "That's what Eve said."

Shane sighed, wondering why Eve had said anything around Andrew, but he figured it had probably been in the heat of the moment. Eve tended not to realize how much Andrew absorbed. "Yes, he shot me. But you don't have to worry about Cal anymore. He won't ever come back."

Andrew looked down at the chess pieces before he looked up again. "Did it hurt, Daddy?"

Shane had to think about that. "I guess it did. I mean it still hurts a bit, Sport, but at the time, I don't think I could really feel it that much." That, at least, was the truth. Shane had some fragments of memory - mostly of shadowy figures surrounding him and bright lights flashing overhead. He even remembered that Kayla had said things to him and he to her, though he could not recall exactly what they had said.

"Did you see any angels?"

Shane chuckled at the boy's question. "No, I didn't see any angels - at least not with wings and harps and all that. But you know what I did see?" At Andrew's wide-eyed look, Shane said, "In my mind, I saw your mother and I saw you. See . . . I think being hurt like that made me think of what was most important to me. And that's you and Mommy and Jeannie and Eve."

Andrew nodded, satisfied with the answer, and returned his attention to the game. Shane gave his son pointers as he considered different moves and then proceeded to lose a close-fought match. Shane was just giving Andrew a congratulatory hug when Kim stepped into the bedroom. It was the first time Shane had seen her since he returned home the day before.

"Andrew, it's time to go see Grandma and Grandpa," Kim said. "And you don't want to tire your father out too much."

Shane started to protest, but he was feeling pretty tired after his morning physical therapy and the chess game. Besides, this might give him a chance to talk to Kim.

"Go ahead, Champ." Shane ruffled Andrew's hair. "Why don't you go get cleaned up and then get your jacket?"

Andrew got up and headed out the door. Kim turned to follow, but Shane spoke before she could leave.

"Kim. . . . Could we talk for a minute?"

She turned around and walked back toward the bed. He could see the concern in her eyes. "How do you feel today?"

"I'm okay," Shane said. "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk last night." After Mickey Horton had left the day before, Simmons had helped Shane upstairs, where he had dozed on and off for most of the late-afternoon. When Shane had woken, Andrew had been home, but Kim was gone, having been called to deal with an emergency at the hospital. "Did everything work out at the clinic?"

Kim shook her head. "It was a young girl, maybe 17 or 18, who'd been beaten severely by her pimp. Normally, they'd have had Marlena cover it, but she's not back from Mexico yet."

"I'm sorry," Shane said. "That sounds like a tough case." Shane knew any case involving prostitutes was particularly hard for Kim.

"It was." Kim's tone was curt. "I really don't want to discuss it." She glanced around the room. "Is there anything you need?"

He shook his head. "No. I'd just like to talk."

"I'm not sure what there is to talk about," Kim said quietly. "You told me how you felt at the hospital and I told you I would stay here because of the children, because I want you to be with them." She looked at him sadly, but with a determined glint in her eye. "But I also told you I need some time to figure things out. I can't be here if you are going to be pressuring me, Shane."

Shane held up his hands. Pressuring her would never work; he knew that. "I'm not going to pressure you." He smiled softly. "You said you need time, and I . . . while I won't give up on us, I'll give you all the time you want." He gave her a curious look. "But how can you figure out what you want if you aren't even willing to talk to me?"

Turning away, Kim looked away toward the window.

"Aren't we still friends at least?" Shane asked.

"Friends?" Kim sounded doubtful. "It seems like whenever we say that we're still friends, it's just a matter of days before we wind up back in bed together."

Shane stopped himself before he said that was exactly what he wanted. Kim would just see that as more pressure, and it was not exactly what he meant. This was not about sex. But rather than try to explain that, he just nodded slowly.

"Very well. I just want you to know that I'm here for you," Shane said. "Kim . . . I know this hasn't been easy on you. Not just with me getting hurt, but we've never talked about what happened with Cal and what you had to go through when I got shot. That's not the kind of thing you get over so quickly." He saw the way Kim blanched at his words, and knew his suspicions were correct. Those events had left their marks. "But I won't push you. Just know I'm here if you want to talk."

Kim fell silent and seemed to study him. Then she started to say something and, for a moment, he thought she was going to open up to him. "Shane-"

"Mommy, I'm ready."

Kim broke off whatever she was about to say and turned to the door where Andrew was standing. She gave him a smile. "Okay, sweetie. Just give me a chance to get my coat and purse." She turned back to Shane and almost appeared to shrug. "I guess I'd better go. My folks are waiting."

_Don't push_, Shane told himself. He could barely contain his frustration, but he forced a smile to his face. "Of course. You'd better not keep them waiting."

Kim started to leave, but she paused a few feet from the door. "I . . . I'll see you later." She hesitated. "Shane. . . ."

"What?" he asked expectantly.

She started to say something, then stopped. With a small sigh, she smiled and then said, "I'm glad you're home."


	389. Chapter 389

"You ready, Sweetness?" Steve called to his wife.

"Just a few more minutes," came the reply, muffled by the closed bathroom door.

_Famous last words_, Steve chuckled to himself. He would never understand why his beautiful wife thought she needed all that time to get ready to go anywhere. She rolled out of bed looking like a movie star.

"All right, baby. I'm taking the bags downstairs."

Hearing Kayla acknowledge his shout, Steve picked up their bags and walked down the stairs to the first floor of the cabin. He set the bags by the door and took one last look around to make sure he had not forgotten anything.

A small smile crossed his face as he looked at the couch and the fireplace, and thought about the night before.

After Kayla had told him what had happened with Cal, he had held her in his arms until the sun had gone down. Then, hearing Kayla's stomach rumbling, he had covered her with a blanket and gone down to the lodge in search of some food. Another Deakins family dinner was in full swing and Ellie had once again invited "Bill and Kay" to join them. Steve had begged off, explaining that Kayla was not feeling well.

That had caused a ruckus and Steve had only narrowly avoided half of the Deakins women storming the cabin to check on Kayla. He had finally convinced them that it was nothing serious, but they had not let him leave until he was loaded down with plates of food and instructions on a half-dozen home remedies.

When he had returned to the cabin, he had found Kayla sleeping. So he had quietly made a fire and, once she was awake, they had sat in front of the fireplace and ate their meal.

After the meal was finished, they had snuggled under the blanket in front of the fire. Little was said and eventually they had fallen asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Steve had awoken to find the fire out. He had gathered Kayla in his arms and carried her to the bedroom where they had drifted off to sleep again.

Now, after sleeping in, they were running a bit late. Steve knew they needed to get on the road soon to get back to Charleston in time to make their flight home.

A knock on the door startled Steve from his memories. He walked to the door and opened it to find Deakins standing outside.

"Hey," Steve said, opening the door to let Deakins in. "What brings you by?"

Deakins stepped into the cabin and gave a low whistle as he looked around. "Nice digs ya'll got here. I gotta remember to ask my folks for it for next year."

Steve smiled. "I highly recommend it."

"I bet," Deakins said, raising a brow. Then his expression grew more serious. "Mama said y'all were shovin' off this mornin'."

Steve nodded. "We've got to get back to Charleston and catch our flight later this afternoon."

"Is Miss Kay feelin' better then?"

"She's fine," Steve replied. He knew that was not quite true, but they would deal with the rest of the fallout when they got back to Salem.

"He's dead, right?" Deakins asked, a deadly tone in his voice. "The guy that took her and her sister? The news reports said y'all shot him."

Steve stared at Deakins for a moment, then remembered the lies spread by Rachel Knight and the ISA. "It wasn't me. Shane took him out when we found them."

Deakins nodded. "Didn't think for one minute that Spooky was workin' with that guy. Jes garbage reporters makin' stuff up. But good for Spooky. Tho' death's too good for scum like that."

Steve certainly could not disagree with that.

"Anyways," Deakins continued after a moment. "I was jes hopin' you could tell Spooky that I'm sorry. I really wish I could help him, but-"

"You don't have to be sorry, Roy," Steve interrupted. "I told you before that Shane never expected you to testify for him. He was mad as hell at me for just coming to see you. He really does understand." Steve shrugged. "And so do I. I never should have pressured you about it. It wasn't fair."

"I know you was jes tryin' ta help Spooky. If'n it was my family, I'd be doing the same thing." Deakins looked around the cabin and took a deep breath. "Look, I can't testify for 'im, but maybe I can do sumthin' else."

Steve's eye widened in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I'm jes a grunt," Deakins replied. "I don't know what went on with the mission other than what I told y'all the other day. But my Captain might."

"You think he might be willing to help?" Steve asked hopefully.

"I don't rightly know. But he and Spooky got ta be pretty good friends, I think. An' I could tell he weren't any happier about being told to keep our mouths shut than I was. If'n I get the chance, I'll try to talk to 'im."

Steve's face broke out in a big smile. "That would be great."

Deakins held up his hand. "I'm not makin' any promises. He might tell me to shut up and put me on latrine duty for a month."

Steve nodded. "I understand."

"But, if he's willin' ta talk to y'all, I'll be in touch." Deakins held out his hand. "It's the least I can do. The man done save my life."

Steve shook Deakins hand, wincing slightly at the man's grip. "I appreciate it, Roy. I really do."

Both men turned as they heard footsteps on the stairs behind them. As Kayla reached the bottom of the stairs, she stopped.

"Hi, Roy," she said. "I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something."

"Naw," Deakins replied, shyly. "I was jes leavin." He turned back to Steve. "Y'all have a safe trip home. I'll . . . I'll be in touch if I hear sumpthin." He nodded at Kayla, "Ma'am" and turned to leave.

"Wait," Kayla called out. Steve and Deakins looked at her in surprise as she hurried over to Deakins. When she reached him, she stood up on her tippy-toes and kissed him on the cheek.

Steve suppressed a chuckle as Deakins blushed profusely. "What was that for?" Deakins asked, clearly stunned.

Kayla smiled. "For helping bring my husband home to me." She held her hand up as Deakins tried to speak. "I know that it's all a big secret, and I know that your family doesn't even know what you did. But I do. And I will always be grateful to you for it."

"I was jes doin' my job, ma'am."

Kayla nodded. "I know. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve my thanks for it. You'll never know how much it means to me."

Deakins smiled shyly and nodded. "Y'all keep that husband of yours out of trouble. That's all the thanks I need."

Steve and Kayla both laughed as Kayla said, "I'll do my best."

Deakins nodded again and headed out the door. Once he was gone, Steve turned to Kayla and embraced her. "You're amazing, Sweetness."

"I don't know about that. I just know that I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Steve kissed her softly, then released her. "Come on, Sweetness. We've got a long and bumpy trip home."

Kayla smiled and picked up her bag and walked out the door. Steve picked up the others and followed her. The trip had not gone like he had expected, but it was not a total loss. He might not have gotten Deakins' testimony, but Steve had gotten his help. And that meant Steve still had hope. And hope was all he needed.


	390. Chapter 390

Simmons took Kim's coat as she and Andrew entered the foyer. They had spent most of the day with her parents as she had mulled over her earlier conversation with Shane.

He had offered to talk about Cal, but she doubted he was ready to hear what she might say. He wanted to be friends, but they both knew what that truly meant. Kim knew she had been harsh in how she had reacted to his question. Of course, they were still friends, but Kim could not let that friendship return to something more before she figured out if it was the right thing to do.

For once, she was going to use her head, not just her heart. Every time she followed her heart with Shane Donovan, it wound up broken. Not this time.

"Would Madame care for some tea?" Simmons asked.

Kim shook her head, glanced around the foyer, and realized that they were alone. "Where did Andrew go?"

"Upstairs, Madame. I believe he went to see his father, who is with Master Johnson."

"Steve? Steve's here?" When Simmons nodded, Kim asked, "How long has he been here? Is Kayla with him?"

"Just a few minutes," Simmons said. "And, no. He arrived alone. He mentioned something about Madame Johnson collecting Miss Stephanie from your parents' home."

Kim thanked Simmons and headed for the stairs. She must have just missed Kayla at her folks, but was curious why Steve had come to see Shane. In her mind, she recalled how hesitant Kayla had seemed about her trip with Steve. Maybe it was not the lover's escape that Kim had envisioned.

Reaching the top of the stairs, she saw Andrew leaving Shane's bedroom. That told her something serious was being discussed. She approached the door quietly and listened for a moment.

"-don't see why you persisted in doing that," Shane was saying, his voice rising. "Don't you know the kind of trouble you could've caused?"

There was a pause before Steve responded. To Kim's surprise, he sounded completely calm. "Would you listen to me, dude? Just let me tell you what happened."

"Okay," Shane said. "Go ahead."

"I saw Deakins and talked to him. . . . And you're right. The whole unit's been told to keep their mouths shut." Steve's boots thumped on the wood floor of the bedroom, telling Kim he was pacing. "I . . . . He said he's sorry he can't testify."

Shane interrupted. "I'm not. I told you I won't ask him to do that."

"Look, would you let me finish?" Steve asked. "I know. You don't think it's right to put him on the line like that."

"That's right," Shane said.

Kim wondered who they were talking about, and almost burst into the room, but she forced herself to stay where she was. She was afraid that, if she went in, they would both clam up.

There was a long silence before Steve spoke again. "You know . . . talking to Deakins and hearing him talk about how he was just a 'grunt' made me think of something. . . . You were a captain in the ISA a long time, weren't you?"

"More than ten years," Shane replied.

"And in that time . . . I guess . . . there had to be times when you . . . you had to make a call and send guys into pretty tough situations." Steve paused. "Sometimes, you had to think they wouldn't come back. I mean, you sent Roman to land on that island where everyone thought he died."

"Not exactly," Shane said quietly. "Roman was never supposed to go there. I was supposed to do that and take out Stefano, but I got captured on another island."

Kim heard Steve take a few steps and the room went silent again. Eventually, Steve spoke once more. "But, still, there have to have been times when you sent an agent on a mission knowing he might not come back. Hell, I know you've got no problem putting yourself on the line, but . . . but it's got to be hard dealing with sending someone else."

"I don't know what you're getting at." As Shane responded, Kim could hear an edge in his voice. She also wondered what Steve was up to. He obviously was leading to something.

Still, Steve persisted. "I just want to understand it. How did you deal with that?"

"It's hard," Shane said. "But I don't see-"

"Yeah, it must be hard. I'm not sure I could ever do that - send a man to his death."

Shane sounded frustrated. "Would you cut it out? Enough with these leading questions, Steve. If you have a point, just say it."

"No, I really am trying to understand," Steve said. "I'd think it would be pretty damn hard, but I guess the ISA does that all the time. So it's probably not a big deal to you."

Kim knew Shane well enough to know that would get a reaction. It followed quickly.

Shane's voice rose again. "Of course, it's a big deal. Those are people's lives," he said. "They're people's children, a husband or wife . . . . They've got kids of their own. We don't just send them off to get killed without doing everything possible to avoid it. Yes, sometimes agents don't come back - and they understand the risks - but it's not some game where we treat life like it doesn't matter."

"Not some game," Steve repeated with a bit of a snort. "I find that hard to believe."

"Well, bloody well believe it," Shane shot back. "I always did everything in my power to make sure the agents under my command came home, and when they didn't. . . . You have no idea what it feels like. So, no, I don't play games with agents' lives."

"And the ISA wouldn't play games with yours, right?"

Everything seemed to freeze. There had been a tone to Steve's voice when he said that told her it was not really a question. The room fell so silent that Kim could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall opposite the door. Neither Shane nor Steve said a word.

On the other side of the door, Kim's chest tightened. _What did they do_? she asked herself, knowing she would hate the answer.

Slowly, hesitantly, Shane asked, "What . . . What did Deakins tell you?"

"The ISA played you like a fiddle, dude," Steve said. "It was all a game to them. Your life. . . . it meant nothing to them."

Kim could hold herself back no longer. She rushed into the room. "What are you saying, Steve?"

"Kim!" Shane said in surprise. He was in the bed and grimaced as he sat up too quickly.

She ignored him and looked at Steve, who looked sheepish.

"Uh . . . how much have you heard?" he asked.

"Enough," Kim said. "Enough to know that your little weekend getaway wasn't just a chance for you and Kay to escape Salem. So, now, Steven, tell me what you found out."

Shane leaned forward. "Yes, I'd like to hear that as well. How did the ISA play me?"

Taking a deep breath, Steve looked back at Shane. "I'm not going to sugarcoat this. You know how you said you were responsible for the mission? How it was all your call?" Steve shook his head. "No, it wasn't, Donovan. The Green Berets were planning their mission weeks before the ISA even found out I was there. I was the 'secondary objective.' The primary objective-"

"-was Lawrence's lab," Shane finished.

Steve's eye narrowed. "You knew?"

"No," Shane said simply. "But it makes sense."

Steve stared at Shane like carrots had sprouted from his head. "So that's it? 'It makes sense'?" His voice rose sharply. "Don't you get it? Tarrington played you. He needed a fall guy in case things went bad and, when they found out I was there, you became his perfect patsy."

Kim looked over at Shane, who was watching Steve, stone-faced. If what Steve was saying was true, the mission would have gone ahead without Shane. Wasn't that his reason for not fighting the charges? She watched him, but his expression betrayed nothing.

"Dude," Steve continued. "They tricked you. You didn't make the call on the mission, so it's not your responsibility. It would have gone without you. So if you weren't responsible, you shouldn't take the fall. This changes everything."

"It changes nothing," Shane said quietly.

Kim felt her stomach sink and Steve nearly shouted, "What the hell are you talking about? Didn't you say you couldn't fight the charges because you were responsible for the mission?"

"Maybe I did," Shane said. "But it doesn't change the fact that I won't ask Deakins to go to jail in my place. He's no more responsible. It's still not right to ask him."

"No. . . ." Steve's voice trailed off and he looked down. "You're right about that. I didn't understand until we saw him and his family. I think I understand it better now. Seeing him with his family. . . . It wouldn't be right to ask him to give up his life for yours. But it's still not right for you to just give up."

Shane leaned forward again. "Look, Steve, I'm not giving up." He glanced at Kim, then back at Steve. "I have every intention of fighting the charges now. Just not by calling Deakins or any of the other soldiers."

"So how do you plan on doing that?" Steve demanded.

"I haven't decided," Shane said, but Kim detected a slight hesitation in his voice.

_He's lying_, she realized. _He does have a plan._

Steve did not know Shane well enough to pick up on the momentary slip. Steve's voice rose again. "Well . . . I do have a plan and I'm not giving up on it. Deakins' going to talk to his captain to see if he knows anything."

"Dammit, Steve," Shane yelled. "Just leave them be. There's nothing they can do, and it'll only bring the ISA down on them. Just let it go."

Steve shook his head. "I'm sorry, Donovan, but I won't. I'm going to see this through." He turned and looked at Kim, before heading for the door. "See if you can talk some sense into him."

Not sure what to do or say, Kim just stood still, trying to digest what Steve had said. Shane never needed to go on the mission. Tarrington never even had to come to Shane at all. The ISA would have done the mission regardless and they could have rescued Steve.

Kim could feel her blood beginning to boil. Tarrington had used Shane. And now Shane could spend the rest of his life in jail because he had been naive enough to believe the ISA's lies. She raised her eyes and looked at Shane, who was staring out the window.

"Shane," she said softly.

"It doesn't change anything," he said tightly. "Nothing's changed."

"At least you could be angry. . . . They used you. They used your loyalty to the ISA-"

Shane cut her off. "I said it doesn't change anything. There's no point dwelling on it."

"But you're planning something, aren't you?" she asked. "I could tell. You have a plan."

Shane turned his head to face her. "I'm not going to just let them lock me up without a fight, if that's what you're asking."

"That's not an answer." Kim had heard enough of Shane Donovan's double-speak to last a lifetime. "I asked if you have a plan."

He lowered his eyes so they did not meet hers. "That's not something I can discuss right now."

_Oh, he could be so maddening_! she screamed silently, but she knew he would not budge. "Fine, but you could at least show some emotion. Didn't you just hear what Steve said? You gave the ISA most of your life, and what did they do? They used you in some political game. You have every right to be furious."

Hoping that would trigger a response, Kim waited silently, but Shane just continued to look down at the duvet cover, his expression unchanged. Letting out her own snort of frustration, Kim spun around, stomped out of the room, and slammed the doors shut behind her.

She had nearly reached the stairs when she heard something shatter. She spun around, realizing the sound had come from inside Shane's room. An instant later, she heard Shane's voice.

"Damn them!"


	391. Chapter 391

Shane set the cane against the desk and sank into his chair. He was fatigued from physical therapy, but unlike the past few days since his return home, he had decided not to return to his bedroom immediately. If he did, he would probably spend most of the day sleeping. That may be what Marcus Hunter would have preferred, but Shane was keenly aware that he only had two months before the trial and, after what Steve had said the other day, Shane would be damned if he was going to be Tarrington's fall guy any longer.

The past few days, Shane had spent kicking himself. He had been played for a fool yet again by an ISA chief. First, Nickerson, Shane's trusted mentor, had left him to be killed by Victor Kiriakis. Then, Vaughn had kidnapped Marlena and used Andrew's kidnapping to distract Shane from figuring out Vaughn's treachery. Now, Tarrington. When did it stop? Was that what it took to lead the ISA? Was that kind of power so corrupting that even men Shane had once trusted with his life would betray their oaths and all semblance of loyalty to the people they commanded?

_And what does that say about you_? Shane asked himself. _You were Tarrington's second-in-command._

Across the room, in her playpen, Jeannie babbled something, interrupting Shane's thoughts. She was standing, leaning on the side of the pen, and watching Shane. As he watched, she grinned and lifted up her arms to him.

His mind turning from the ISA, Shane looked at her sadly. Once again, he had to disappoint his little girl. "Soon, Jeannie."

_Soon_, he said to himself. _Soon, I'll be able to lift you and hold you like a father should._

Thankfully, she did not cry. Instead, she turned away and began playing with some of the toys she had in the playpen. When Shane saw that she was settled away, he turned back to his task at hand.

_Lawrence Alamain_.

Reaching into the desk, he pulled out the notepads containing all the details he had been able to remember about the ISA investigation into Lawrence and the toxin. He had written them down when he thought Lawrence had been behind the threats to Kim and Andrew, but now he reviewed them with a different purpose in mind - to find Lawrence and figure out exactly what he intended to do with the toxin. Shane knew Lawrence well enough to know that he would be returning to Salem intent on revenge. The difficulty was predicting where Lawrence would strike and who would be his victim. There were so many potential targets.

For a man who had spent less than a year in Salem, Lawernce had made plenty of enemies. Shane knew he was at the top of the list. So were Jack and Jennifer and Bo and Carly. Kim could be on it too, as could the others who went to Alamainia - Kayla, Julie, and Alice. And Shane could hardly forget Steve; he still had no idea why Lawrence had taken Steve from the hospital, but there had to be a reason.

It still amazed Shane that Lawrence had managed to get paroled without anyone noticing. Even more amazing was that Lawrence could leave the country without the Salem PD or the ISA stopping him. But then Shane did not have a lot of faith in the ISA these days.

Somehow, Lawrence had managed to keep his parole hearing under wraps. At the hospital, Carly had told Shane everyone had been surprised to find out the parole hearing had been moved up without notice. Shane doubted that was just an oversight.

No, Lawrence had paid someone off. Just like he had paid off someone to smuggle messages out of the prison. There was no question that Lawrence had connections.

The question was why Lawrence moved up the hearing. Maybe he was just tired of prison, but he could have cheated on his parole earlier. Shane doubted it took that long for Lawrence to want to leave the prison. The reason had to be something else. There was a reason why Lawrence chose to get paroled at that particular time. The timing had to be the key.

And what was happening at that particular time?

Shane felt his blood go cold. _It can't be_. He grabbed a notepad and began checking the dates - of the first attack at the Fish Market, of the shooting at Andrew's school, of Maurice Marchand's death. And if Lawrence was paroled while Shane was in the coma, the new hearing date had to have been arranged earlier - right during Kim and Kayla's kidnapping.

_Why didn't I see it_? Out loud, he murmured, "It's so bloody obvious."

Lawrence had brought Kim back to Salem to distract Shane from investigating Lawrence. After the raid in Egypt, the virus being cured, and Steve's return, Lawrence had to know Shane and the ISA were involved. The attacks began shortly after Shane returned for Iraq. And, then, when everyone was distracted by the kidnapping, Lawrence moved his hearing date.

Shane had always questioned Cal's escape and the way it was covered up. Now, it all made sense. Lawrence had arranged it - probably through Marchand, who was killed right after the school shooting. Had Marchand objected? Had he threatened to reveal the truth behind the shooting? All the pieces fit together.

Now Shane's task was to prove them and, perhaps, get a lead on Lawrence's current whereabouts. Only one person could confirm Shane's suspicions - the prison warden who covered up Cal's escape, but had disappeared. Shane realized he might be dead, but if he could be found. . . . The problem was that Shane had no idea where to look and had none of the resources necessary to perform a manhunt.

He was still pondering how to find the man when he heard a knock on the door of the study. Looking up, he saw Roman in the doorway.

"Hey, partner, how you doing?"

"Roman," Shane called out. "I didn't know you're back."

Roman sauntered into the room, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. "Just got back. I actually called the hospital, but they said you'd gone home." He stopped and looked Shane over. "You look a lot better than when we saw you last. . . . How you feeling?"

Shane shrugged. "About as good as could be expected. Got a ways to go to recovery, whatever that really means."

"I'm sorry about what happened," Roman said. "We owe you for saving Kim and Kay."

Shane shook his head. "You don't owe me anything. You know what Kim means to me. . . ." _How much she means to me and how much she wants to be with me, even though she refuses to admit it._ "Sorry." Shane looked back at Roman. "Just got a little distracted. Don't mind me moping. It's good to see you. Tell me about Mexico. Did Marlena get any answers?"

"Actually. . . ." Roman shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not really here on a social call. It's actually about what happened in Mexico."

Shane leaned forward in his chair. "Did you find anything in Mexico?"

"Yeah." Roman swallowed deeply. "Yeah, we found something. It's just . . . it's complicated, Shane. It's very complicated."

"No, it's not," said another voice - one that Shane recognized immediately from tens, maybe hundreds, of hours of radio communications.

_But that's impossible_, he thought_. _

Yet, directly in front of him, walking through the library door was a man who looked and sounded exactly like Roman Brady - the Roman Brady who had fallen off a cliff in 1984. Shane could not stop himself from staring, and he looked quickly at Marlena, who had entered alongside the curly-haired man, and then at Roman - at least, the man Shane thought of as Roman Brady, the man who was Shane's best friend.

Bewildered, Shane looked again at each Roman, and the thought repeated in his head.

_This is impossible._


	392. Chapter 392

Kim studied the young woman in the hospital bed. The girl's face was swollen and bruised and Kim knew from the medical record that similar bruises and other wounds lay unseen on the rest of the girl's body - gifts from a pimp who had left the woman battered and nearly unconscious on the pier.

The girl said her name was Jane, but Kim sincerely doubted that was true. She gave her age as 23, but Kim doubted she was out of her teens. According to the Salem PD, Jane had been picked up a couple of times for solicitation, but had paid her fine and been released.

For the last twenty minutes, Kim had been trying to break through the girl's hostile defenses. She had asked about family and friends, but Jane was having none of it. "Look, Ms. Brady. I know you think you are trying to help, but I don't need it. So just mark the chart that you talked to me and everybody will know you've done your job."

Kim shook her head, wondering what Jane had been through in her young life to make her so hard. An abusive father? A drug addiction? There were many possibilities.

_Molestation._

Taking a deep breath, Kim tried again. "My job is to help people. And seeing as how you were nearly killed the other night, I think you need my help. You're still so young. You can make a new life if you just let yourself try."

Jane scoffed again. "A new life? You think you can just put some fancy clothes on me and give me some typing lessons and that will change everything?" Jane leaned forward in the bed, wincing in pain. "I know what I am, Ms. Brady. I'm a whore. Nobody is going to hire a whore."

Kim's heart clinched at the girl's defeated words. "Jane . . . that's not who you are-"

"What do you know about who I am?" Jane interrupted angrily. "You don't know nothin' about me."

Kim reached her hand out, but the girl pulled away. "Okay. . . ." Kim finally said. "But I think I know a lot more than you think. Ten years ago, I'd probably be saying the exact same thing you just said. Oh, I know what it's like. Feeling worthless and thinking you have no place to go. Thinking that you're at the mercy of all those men - the johns who pay for you, the pimp who controls you. Trust me, I know."

She waited for a response, hoping her words got through, but Jane was not listening. The girl lay back down on the bed and turned so that her back was to Kim. "I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Kim sighed, knowing it was of no use to try and push the girl further right now. According to the doctors, she would be in the hospital a few more days so, hopefully, Kim would get another chance to break through her defenses.

"All right, Jane." Kim stood. "I know you need to get some rest. But my card is on the table if you want to talk. You can call me day or night. I do know what you're going through and I hope you'll call."

When Jane did not respond, Kim shook her head sadly and then left the room. Lost in thought, she slowly made her way back to her office.

When she reached her office, she entered and sat down at her desk. She flipped idly through a couple of phone messages, still thinking about Jane.

"_I know what I am, Ms. Brady. I'm a whore_." The girl's words echoed in Kim's mind. That was the hardest thing in trying to get these girls off the streets. Their own shame at what they had done became a shield of defiance.

"Not that you would know anything about that," Kim said softly to herself. How many times had she defiantly announced that she knew what she had been and that it did not bother her?

But that was not completely true. She could admit what she had been. She could, at times, feel like she had put that behind her. Sometimes, she could even forget.

Still, there was always the shame and regret. Kim remembered when her family had found out about her past as a prostitute. She would never forget the shame she had felt - that she still felt.

Maybe that was part of the reason it had always been so hard to trust Shane's love for her. If Kim had not truly overcome her past, how could she believe that Shane had? Plus, there was no denying that, when he was hurt or angry, Shane had a tendency of throwing that past in her face.

Kim knew that Shane loved her. She did not doubt that. But she could not help but doubt whether her past would always keep Shane from completely trusting her fidelity. Before the kidnapping, Shane had admitted that he did not trust that Kim would be waiting for him when he got out of prison. In the videotape, he said he had trusted their love, but now he was refusing the plea deal. He could say he did not want to walk away, but Kim had to wonder if that was the complete truth. Was his mistrust of her - something so rooted in her past - a factor?

And how would he react if she told him about the bargain she had made with Cal? Kim shook her head. It really was not a question, was it? She had not told him what happened, because she knew exactly what his reaction would be.

A part of her wanted so much to believe that he would understand, that he would know that she had no choice. But she did not really believe that at all. If she did, she would have told him by now.

She had told Shane she needed time to figure out what she wanted, but that was only partly true. She knew what she wanted. She wanted a life with the man she loved with all of her heart. She wanted them to love each other and raise their children in a home filled with love and happiness.

The problem was she was not sure that was possible. She was not sure she could survive seeing the hurt and anger in Shane's eyes when she told him what happened with Cal. She could not survive him turning cold and distant again. If she opened herself up to him by confessing what happened with Cal and he pushed her away, Kim doubted she could handle that pain.

Rubbing her hands across her face, Kim wished once again that Marlena was back in town. Now, more than ever, she needed someone who could be objective about the situation. She needed someone she could voice her fears and doubts to and who would understand both.

Unfortunately, it looked like Kim was going to have to figure this one out on her own.


	393. Chapter 393

Kayla drummed her fingertips against the countertop as she studied the latest deliveries to the lab. Dr. Bishop had received two boxes containing samples of a virus - a new flu strain that had been found in Eastern Russia. Some replacement parts for the centrifuge had also arrived. And Carly had received another four, unidentified boxes from the lab in Washington, D.C.

_What is the ISA up to? _Kayla asked silently. The continued deliveries of these mystery packages only solidified Kayla's belief that the ISA was using Carly. But the nature of the research remained a secret.

"Kayla, where can I find lenses for the scanning electron microscope?" The question came from Brian Rothschild, the lab's new researcher. Kayla had been surprised to find that the lab had hired someone new, particularly when Carly had moved away from virus research to her new, mystery assignment, but Kayla had realized that the two things were probably not merely coincidence.

She smiled at Brian. "Over in the supply cabinet. Second shelf on the right."

For a moment, she appreciated the return to normalcy that a day in the lab provided. Since she and Steve had returned from Georgia, she had tried to focus on her work. Admittedly, there was not that much to do at the lab since she had completed the grant proposal, but the new Trauma Center was set to open in a few weeks, and Kayla wanted to get ahead on her lab work so she could take some shifts when the Trauma Center opened.

_Oh, who are you kidding, Kayla Johnson_?

She sighed. The truth was that work was a welcome distraction, a way of not thinking about what she was about to do.

After that Saturday night in Georgia when she had confessed to Steve about what happened with Cal, he had pushed her to seek help. He had broached the idea on the drive back to Charleston and, though she initially had resisted, she quickly realized that just telling Steve the truth was not enough.

That realization had come at the Charlotte airport. As they were dropping off the rental car, a truck backfired. Kayla had frozen - the day turned into night; Cal's angry threat echoed in her ear; the cold metal of his gun pressed against her temple. She had come out of the flashback to find herself clutched tightly in Steve's arm, but otherwise not sure where she was.

"_Okay, I'll get help_," she had whispered in his ear.

So, in an hour, she had her first appointment with Dr. Friedman.

The thought made Kayla shiver slightly, but she reminded herself of what Steve had said. He had assured her that she would be fine, that the treatment was not that difficult. But she also pictured how drained Steve always seemed after his sessions. That told her the treatment was not as easy as he claimed.

Kayla shook her head. She needed to focus on work right now. Her appointment with Dr. Friedman would come soon enough. For now, she would try not to think about it.

Behind her, she heard Brian speak. Kayla could hear the concern in his voice as he said, "Dr. Manning?"

Spinning around, Kayla looked at Carly, who was slumped over a stack of papers and shaking. She seemed to be gasping for breath. Even before Kayla could move, Brian raced forward and grabbed Carly.

"What's wrong?" Kayla said, as she crossed the room. Brian was helping Carly to a seated position on the floor, her back against the workbench where she had been reading.

Brian looked up. "I think she's hyperventilating."

Crouching low, Kayla grabbed Carly's hand and quickly detected a racing pulse. "Carly. . . ." She spoke in the calmest voice she could muster. "Can you hear me?" When Carly nodded, Kayla said, "Try to calm down. Slow breaths."

That did not seem to work. Carly continued to gasp for breath.

Kayla glanced quickly at Brian, she said, "Get an oxygen tank and mask." The lab kept oxygen on hand in case of emergency. He rushed to the emergency supply cabinet, returned quickly, and handed Kayla the mask. She placed it over Carly's mouth.

For an instant, Kayla had a flash of memory - a memory of holding a mask over Shane's face as he begged her to tell Kim he loved her.

She forced the memory from her mind and focused on Carly. Brian had turned the valve on the cannister. "Breathe in," Kayla said. "Slowly. In. . . now out. . . ."

It began to work. Carly's breathing slowed. After a minute or two, her eyes fixed on Kayla and then reached for the mask. Kayla pulled it away.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Carly nodded. "Yes. . . ." She seemed to flush. "I don't know what came over me." She started to stand, but Brian put a hand on her shoulder.

"Whoa, don't try to move," he said.

"I'm fine," Carly insisted, pushing his hand away. Slowly, and shaking, she rose to her feet.

Kayla stood up also. "Carly, what happened?"

"I don't know," Carly said. "I guess I just got woozy."

Kayla knew better. She helped Carly to a chair and asked Brian to get some water. Once again, Kayla checked Carly's pulse, but it seemed to be close to normal. Frowning, she said, "You should probably go see Neil or Marcus and have them look you over."

Her voice low, sounding almost embarrassed, Carly whispered, "I don't need to. I . . . It was just a little anxiety. I panicked a little."

Carly's words caused Kayla to do a double-take. "Panicked" did not sound like Carly. She always seemed so calm and collected.

"Are you sure?" Kayla asked.

"Yes. I'm fine. I . . . I, uh, should get back to my work." Carly started to stand.

Kayla was closer to the workbench where Carly had been working, so she turned and reached for the stack of papers on the bench.

"Don't!" Carly barked. "Don't touch them."

Kayla froze, as Carly pushed her aside, hastily stacked the papers, and pulled them close. Then she turned and appeared to blush again. "I'm . . . I'm sorry. Nobody's supposed to see these." Her hands shook as she clasped the documents. One page was visible and Kayla spotted the words "CLASSIFIED - TOP SECRET" along its length and parts of other words, "-ase Scen-"

At that moment, Carly glanced down and saw the exposed paper. Her hand trembling, she slid it out of view. Then she looked down at the stack and seemed to shudder.

_Whatever is in those papers terrifies her_, Kayla realized. But before Kayla could ask what was going on, Brian reappeared. He held out a glass for Carly and said, "Here's some water."

"Just set it down," she replied, curtly. "I said I'm fine." Turning back around, the papers still clutched tightly to her chest, she said, "Thank you. I appreciate your help, but I'm fine now. I think I'll finish up in my office."

Kayla watched Carly walk away, but this time it was Kayla who shuddered. She knew Carly well enough to know that very few things could terrify her. Those papers - papers Kayla was sure had something to do with the ISA - had caused a panic attack and were still scaring Carly.

"Carly," Kayla called out. "If you need to discuss anything-"

But Carly shook her head as she stepped into her small office. "No, I'm fine. There's nothing to talk about."

And in a voice that Carly probably did not think Kayla could hear, Carly added, "It's nothing I can talk about."


	394. Chapter 394

Roman - Shane's best friend Roman - had said the situation was a little complicated. As Shane continued to look back and forth between the two Romans, "complicated" was not a word that came to mind.

Astonishing. Bewildering. Baffling. Mind-boggling. Those words all seemed to fit.

The curly-haired Roman spoke before Shane managed to figure out what to say. "Shane Donovan. . . . It's always good to see another ISA man." His tone, however, made Shane think the man did not sound all that pleased to see Shane.

Shane looked over at Roman - or was he Roman? In his mind, Shane quickly decided that his close friend, the former Pawn, was "Roman 1." This other man, despite looking like the pre-Pawn Roman, Shane would think of as "Roman 2." So Shane looked at Roman 1.

"How? How can this be?"

Roman 1 shook his head. "You've got me, partner. We found him in the jungles of San Cristobal."

"Hey, I'm right here," Roman 2 snapped. "And I'm not 'him.' I'm Roman Brady."

"Sorry," Shane said, not really sure what to say next.

Roman 2 looked at Marlena. "I still don't understand why we're here. We should be talking to the ISA's top-brass." He glanced over at Shane. "No offense there, by the way."

"None taken," Shane said, almost amused. He debated pointing out that he had risen about as high as possible in the ISA before his arrest, but Marlena spoke before Shane could say anything.

"Shane's been a good friend to the Brady family." With a smile, she walked over to the desk and gave Shane a kiss on the cheek. "A good friend to all of us. I'm glad to see you up and around."

"Yeah, partner. . . . We tried to stay in Salem until you woke up." That was Roman 1 talking. "But-"

"But you couldn't put off going to Mexico indefinitely." Shane nodded slightly. "I understand fully. So . . . well I assume you have some idea for how I can help with this little predicament. You wouldn't be here otherwise, would you?"

Roman 1 nodded. "I was thinking you could help us figure out which one of us is really Roman Brady. There have to be things you know - ISA-related things from when you were my supervisor - and you could quiz us about them. You have to know things about me that an imposter wouldn't know." His eyes narrowed and he looked at Roman 2.

"Imposter," Roman 2 snarled, his fists clenching. "I'll show you who's the imposter."

"Please," Marlena exclaimed. "Would you please just stop arguing for a minute? Shane, do you think you could help?"

Shane had some ideas, so he nodded. "Sure."

"Why should I trust you?" Roman 2 asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Shane shrugged. "I can't answer that. If you are Roman Brady, then you would know we worked together for a lot of years. Even if I'm not still in the ISA-"

"Wait." Roman 2 put his hands on his hips. "What do you mean you're not in the ISA?"

Roman 1 and Marlena both shrugged when Shane looked at them. Silently, he said to himself, _Great. This is going to go over well._ Out loud, he explained, "I'm no longer in the ISA. I've . . . I've been charged with treason."

Roman 2 threw up his hands. "Oh no . . . you've got to be kidding me. I'm supposed to trust a traitor? I don't think so." He pointed at the phone. "Get Nickerson on the line."

Shane blanched. George Nickerson had been Shane's mentor until he betrayed the ISA as part of his "game" with Victor Kiriakis. Nickerson's betrayal had included leaving Shane to be killed by Victor. Looking again at Roman 2, Shane said, "Nickerson's dead."

"He was corrupt, through-and-through," Roman 1 added. "And forget the charges against Shane; they're a crock."

Roman 2 shook his head. "And I'm just supposed to take your word for that?"

"Roman, please," Marlena urged.

"No, Doc." Roman 2's voice rose sharply. "You're asking me to trust . . . them, but why should I? Let's call in the ISA. Maybe Nickerson's no longer there, but-"

His words were cut off by a loud cry from the playpen. Shane turned toward Jeannie to see her standing against the side and wailing as loud as she could.

"Damn," Shane said. He grabbed his cane and started to pull himself from the desk chair.

Marlena waved at him. "Let me, Shane." She crossed the room before Shane was fully on his feet and pulled Jeannie into her arms. Bobbing the baby up and down, Marlena carried Jeannie back toward the desk. Shane had returned to his seat and he let Marlena set Jeannie in his lap.

"Thanks," Shane said. "Marcus would have my head if I tried to lift her."

Meanwhile, Roman 1 turned to his counterpart. "Happy, pal? You just scared the hell out of my niece."

"Your niece?" Roman 2 shot back. Then he stopped and seemed to ponder that. "How?"

_Uh oh . . . This could be awkward_, Shane thought. He raised an eyebrow in Marlena's direction. "Let me guess. . . . You didn't completely fill him in on what's happened with the family the past several years."

"He wasn't really all that up for listening," she replied. She turned to Roman 2. "Jeannie is your niece - or Roman's niece. God, this is so confusing. . . . Shane and Kimberly were married for several years. They have two children, Jeannie and an older son named Andrew."

"Who is at school right now," Shane said. He tried to ignore the angry red flush that was rising in Roman 2's cheeks. "Look . . . how about I test. . . ." He motioned toward Roman 1. "Uh . . . him, first. I'll ask some questions and, when that's done, I'll give you a similar test. Only questions that the real Roman Brady would know."

"Fine," said Roman 1. "I'm game. I've got nothing to hide."

Roman 2 seemed to mull it over, most likely weighing his mistrust of Shane and Roman 1 against the possibility of resolving things. "Okay. . . . I know who I am. You can give me your best shot."

Relieved that a conflict appeared to have been avoided, Shane glanced at Marlena. "Perhaps you should wait in the library. Simmons can bring you some tea or, if you're hungry-"

"Don't worry about us, Shane." She smiled softly, took Roman 2's arm, and led him from the room. Once the door was shut behind them, Shane turned to Roman 1, who ran a hand through his hair and began to pace.

"Never thought I'd have to prove myself to my best friend."

Shane could hear the frustration in the man's voice. "We'll get this over with quickly."

Roman 1 nodded. "Go ahead. Like that other guy said, 'I know who I am.' So let's get this over with."


	395. Chapter 395

Steve checked his watch and then knocked softly on the door to Kayla's office. Her appointment was not for another twenty minutes, but he knew she was nervous about it and wanted to make sure she did not find a reason to cancel it.

Hearing her soft "come in," Steve opened the door, entered the office, and smiled. "Hey, Sweetness."

Kayla's eyes widened with surprise. "Steve . . . what . . . I wasn't expecting you so early."

"I know, baby. I just wanted to make sure I was here when you were ready to go."

"Oh." Steve's eye narrowed as Kayla avoided his gaze before continuing, "I . . . I just have a few things to finish up first."

"That's fine." Steve took a seat in the chair opposite Kayla's desk. "I can wait."

"That's really not necessary, you know." Kayla continued to avoid meeting Steve's eye. "I'm perfectly capable of walking to Dr. Friedman's office on my own."

Something was definitely off, Steve knew. "I know you're capable, baby. I just thought you might like the moral support. I just want to be here for you like you've been for me."

Finally Kayla met his eye. "I know," she said with a small smile. "But it's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Kayla." Steve leaned across the desk and took her hand. "You've been struggling with this for awhile now and I . . . I just want you to be okay."

"I am okay," Kayla insisted angrily. "Just because I'm having some issues with what happened with Cal doesn't mean I'm not okay." She pulled her hand away and stood up, moving to the other side of the room.

Steve took a deep breath, surprised at the anger in Kayla's voice. "That's not what I meant, Kayla." He stood up and walked to her. "And I think you know that." He smiled, trying to break the tension in the room. "Have you forgotten that I'm one of Dr. Friedman's biggest customers?"

Kayla shook her head. "No, I haven't forgotten." Her tone softened. "I'm very grateful for the way he's been able to help you."

"Then what's wrong, baby?" Steve put his hand on her shoulder. "You were the one who convinced me that it was okay to admit I needed help - that it didn't make me weak." He looked at her, a question in his eye. "Or was that just a line, Kayla?"

"Of course not," she said quickly. She sounded sincere. "I know how much strength it took for you to start seeing Dr. Friedman and tell him about what happened to you."

"And I know how much strength it takes for you to do the same thing."

Kayla shook her head. "Come on, Steve. It's hardly the same thing."

"Why not?" Steve asked, confused by Kayla's remark. "Why are you so supportive of me seeing Dr. Friedman and so resistant to seeing him yourself?"

"Because I wasn't held prisoner and tortured for a year," Kayla nearly shouted. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice. "It's not the same thing."

"Okay," Steve said softly. "It's not the same thing. But, baby, just because it's not the same doesn't mean it's nothing. Winters threatened to-"

"He threatened to kill me," Kayla interrupted, still sounding angry. "I know that. But it's not like it's the first time my life has been in danger, Steve." She smiled bitterly. "I'm not some damsel in distress who faints at the sight of danger. I've always been able to deal with it before. And now…" her voice trailed off.

"What, Sweetness? What now?"

Kayla turned to face him, unshed tears in her eyes. "And now I can't even deal with loud noises. I reach for you in the middle of the night just to be sure that you're really there. And no matter how I try, I can't get the sound of that gun out of my head." She shook her head. "Why is this so different? Why can't I just let it go?"

Steve reached out and stroked Kayla's cheek. "I don't know, baby." He smiled gently. "But maybe Dr. Friedman can help you figure it out."

Kayla nodded and glanced at the clock on the wall. "I guess it's time to go find out, huh?"

Steve put his arm around Kayla and guided her towards the door. "Come on, baby." As they reached the door, he stopped and turned Kayla to face him. "I know you're nervous about this, Kayla. But I want you to know that I'm very proud of you."

Kayla offered him a wan smile. "Thanks. . . . And thank you for being here with me. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'll be here every step of the way if you want me to," Steve said. "We're in this together - all the way. Don't ever forget that."

Kayla nodded and leaned into him slightly as they made their way out the door and down the hall. Steve kept his arm around her shoulders, vowing to show her every day that he was there for her. He had meant what he had said. Together, they would get through this just as they had gotten through everything else that had been thrown their way.


	396. Chapter 396

"I haven't thought about that Berlin job in ages, partner." Roman - _Roman 1_, Shane reminded himself - laughed as he walked back and forth across the floor of Shane's study. Jeannie watched him walk. Having grown bored at sitting on Shane's lap, Roman 1 had put her back in the playpen. Roman 1 chuckled a little more. "Do you remember that night? I got stuck on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall-"

"And I nearly called in the Marines to get you out." Shane struggled not to grin. Only the true Roman Brady would remember that mission in 1978. That had been one of Shane's first assignments as a captain in the ISA, and he had feared it might be his last. Having an operative like Roman Brady captured by the Stasi would have been a major disaster.

Roman 1 nodded. "Well, it all worked out in the end. You arranged for that undercover operative to stash me in a basement."

"Right," Shane said. "What was his name?"

"Her name," Roman 1 corrected. "Claudine? No, that's not right. Oh, yeah, Klaudia." He stopped, looked at Shane, and raised an eyebrow. "So do I pass?"

"I think I'd better reserve judgment until I interview the . . . other Roman," Shane said. "Sorry, this is pretty awkward. In my head, I keep calling you Roman 1 and 2 just to keep things straight."

Roman 1 ran a hand through his hair. "That would almost be funny-"

"But it's your life, Roman. Trust me, I understand." Shane ran a hand along the length of the desk in front of him. "I'm as perplexed as the rest of you."

"I know." Roman 1 sounded understanding. "But, partner, you just make sure that I'm Roman number 1 in your mind. Because I _am_ Roman Brady."

Shane sighed. "We'll know soon enough. Why don't you go to the library and send . . . him over here? I'll see what I can find out."

As Roman 1 left, Shane tried to figure out what was going on. Roman 1 had answered all of Shane's questions, even the trick ones, and had offered details about missions that even Shane had forgotten. The only problem was that Roman 2 was the spitting image of Roman Brady before his supposed death in 1984. Shane knew that Stefano DiMera had top-notch plastic surgeons, but Shane doubted even they could create such a perfect replica.

Then there was the issue of Roman 2's voice. For years, Shane and Roman's only communications had been over radio, often lengthy exchanges as they worked opposite ends of the same case. That had been how Shane had first learned of the Brady family - from stories Roman would tell about his quiet sister Kim, his energetic sister Kayla, and his rebellious brother Bo. Even before Shane was assigned to Salem, all those hours talking with Roman made Shane feel like knew the Brady family. And all those hours had taught Shane to recognize Roman Brady's voice.

When they thought Roman had returned from the dead, Shane had ignored the difference in their voices. He figured the imprisonment by Stefano, the surgeries, and the passage of time had made Roman 1 sound different from the Roman Shane had known. Marlena did not question the differences, so why would Shane?

"We ready in here?" That was the same voice Shane remembered. He looked up as Roman 2 pulled the study doors closed behind him and glanced suspiciously around the room.

Trying to assuage Roman 2's suspicions, Shane said, "You can trust me."

"Can I?" Roman 2 asked. "There's sure a lot of reason not to. Treason charges. My ex-boss and my sister. Maybe you should tell me about that. Last thing I knew, you were keeping her under surveillance."

Shane forced himself to take a deep breath. "My relationship with Kimberly was not something I planned. It just happened."

"It just happened once you got me out of the way." Roman 2 stomped his foot. "Don't think I've forgotten what happened with DiMera. You were supposed to do that mission, not me. If not for you, I wouldn't have gone through hell all those years. Hell, I thought you died when that volcano exploded on Stefano's island."

Deep inside, Shane felt the same guilt he had felt when he heard that Roman had died rescuing Bo, Hope, and the other plane crash victims. That had been Shane's mission, and he had not been there to do it. But there were reasons, Shane reminded himself, before he said, evenly, "I nearly did die, DiMera's second - remember Petrov - he caught me in the compound. He was going to blow it up with me inside it, but I managed to pick the lock on the leg cuffs and escape before the blast. And then the volcano erupted." Shane remembered how the ground had shook, tossing him around as he tried to escape from DiMera's compound, his wrists still shackled because he dared not to stop to unlock them. "I got lucky. I made it to the water, found a skiff, and got off the island before the lava reached me. I spent the better part of two days at sea before the ISA picked up my emergency beacon."

He waited as Roman 2 digested that information. "How do I know it wasn't all a set-up?"

"I was not working for DiMera," Shane nearly shouted in exasperation. "Look . . . you would never have found Bo and the others if I hadn't turned on the radio in Stefano's compound. That's the only way you even heard the coordinates of that island, and Petrov would've killed me if he realized what I was doing."

"That was you?" When Shane nodded, Roman turned and began to pace. Scowling slightly, he asked, "So I'm supposed to believe that you just decided to move to Salem and marry my sister?"

"No. . . ." Shane tried to figure out how to explain the past seven years. "After we thought you had died, I came to Salem to try to stop Stefano. We knew he had an operation planned here, plus, I guess, I wanted to make sure Bo didn't do anything stupid."

"Good luck with that," Roman 2 muttered. "And through Bo, you got close to Kim?"

Shane decided now was not the time to mention how Kim had worked for him and gotten close to Leopold Bronski at his request. Instead, he said, "Something like that. Look . . . I'm not your enemy."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?" Roman 2 stopped pacing. "Doc told me we could trust you, but if the ISA thinks you're a traitor. . . ."

Shane groaned loudly. How was he going to convince the man of the truth?

"Yeah, fine. Marlena says the charges are bogus and you were just doing something for Kayla's husband." Roman 2 shook his head. "Haven't met him yet. He another ISA agent?"

_Now how do I answer that_? Shane wondered. "He. . . . He occasionally provided services to the agency." That caused Roman 2 to raise an eyebrow, but Shane spoke first. "This isn't the time to go into details about Steve and the ISA. Just know that I owed Steve and Kayla to rescue him from the men who were holding him. And if you really are Roman Brady, you would understand what family means and would have been right there with me on that mission."

Roman 2's scowl faltered, and he looked down at the floor.

"Now, can we get on with this?" Shane asked. He was beginning to feel tired. The physical therapy earlier that morning, coupled with the strain of dealing with two Roman Bradys, was beginning to get to him.

Roman 2 seemed not to notice, but he finally growled, "Go ahead. If this is what it takes to prove to my wife and family who I am, shoot away."

Leaning back in his chair, Shane looked at his notepad and the list of questions he had asked Roman 1. Then he raised his eyes toward Roman 2. "Very well. Let's start with Stefano DiMera. . . ."


	397. Chapter 397

The morning passed slowly. Kim checked on Jane, but the girl still refused to talk. And Marcus said she would be released soon, so there was little Kim could do but hope the girl used the phone number on Kim's card or checked into one of the shelters Kim had recommended.

Needing a distraction, Kim headed down to the immunology lab. She had barely talked to Kayla since she had returned from her weekend with Steve. In some ways, Kim wanted to forget what Steve had said about the ISA mission. It did not change her anger toward the ISA; she had been furious with Tarrington since Shane's arrest. And she hated feeling that Shane had been duped. If she could forget what Steve had said, she could forget that her family had been pawns in the ISA's game.

Maybe Kayla would have something that helped, though Kim actually doubted Kayla had any other information or would change Kim's view of things. At the very least, it would be nice to talk to her sister.

Unfortunately, Carly said that Kayla had left with Steve for some type of appointment, so Kim made a mental note to check to see if everything was all right, and then headed back to the clinic. She had just reached her floor when she ran into her mother.

"Mama, what are you doing here?" she asked after they had hugged.

Caroline motioned to the other side of the floor. "Mrs. Steinway fell and broke her hip, so I came by to visit."

"That was nice of you," Kim said. Oddly, despite her need for a distraction, she could not think of much to say. "How's Papa?"

"Oh, Shawn's fine. He's handling the store." Caroline paused, and her eyes narrowed. "Kimmie, is everything okay? You look tired."

Kim sighed. She had been having difficulty sleeping, but did not want to reveal that to her mother. "It's nothing. Just been a hard day."

"It's not Shane, is it? I mean, he's home and recovering okay, isn't he?"

"I think so," Kim said. Realizing that sounded awkward, she quickly added, "He was getting ready for physical therapy when I left." She hoped that would stop Caroline from pressing the issue.

It did not work. Caroline took Kim's arm and pulled her to the door of the clinic. "I think we should talk." Once they were inside and the door was closed, Caroline asked, "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

Kim turned toward one of the shelves filled with stuffed animals and picked up a plush monkey. "It's nothing, Mama. I had a patient who doesn't want help. . . ."

"Is that all to it?" Caroline asked.

"Yes," Kim said, her voice rising.

Caroline paused. "And that's why you're turning that doll into a pretzel?"

Kim looked down and realized that she had spun and shoved the monkey into a thin, twisted knot.

"You know." Caroline kind of laughed. "Your father does that when he's nervous or frustrated, and it's not because of a patient. It's about you and Shane, isn't it?"

"Why don't you believe me?" Kim snapped.

Caroline smiled softly. "Because only Shane can get you worked up like this. And you've seen and done too much counseling to have a patient get to you. Please, Kimmie, let me help you. You've always been able to confide in me."

_Not always for the better_, Kim thought, thinking about how she had kept secret about what happened with Victor at Caroline's urging. Funny that the situations now felt similar. Kim took a deep breath.

"It's about Cal - what happened when he held us captive."

Caroline's eyes narrowed. "Did Cal rape you?"

"No," Kim said quickly. "He didn't try to force me."

The look on Caroline's face switched to shock. Wide-eyed, but keeping a low voice, she asked, "Did you . . . I mean . . . Did you sleep with Cal?"

Kim shook her head vigorously. "No." _But I would have. _That was the crux of it, wasn't it? She stopped shaking her head and looked back down at the monkey, which was still a knot in her hands. "I said I would - if he didn't hurt Kayla. I . . . I even said I'd leave Salem with him. And I would have if it came to that."

"But it never did," Caroline said. "It was all in your head."

"I told him that." Kim set the monkey on a counter. "I would have been Cal's forever, and it would have happened if Shane and Steve didn't show up when they did."

Caroline stepped closer to Kim. "Who cares about what you would have done? It never happened, so you can't feel guilty about it."

"I don't think Shane will feel the same way," Kim said. "It'll dredge up my past again."

"Then don't tell him," Caroline replied. "Nothing happened, so why would you have to tell him?"

Kim turned and walked away. "I don't know, Mama. You know what secrets have done to me and Shane."

"This isn't like Victor," Caroline said. "Or with Jeannie. Nothing happened, so there's no way what happened with Cal could affect your relationship with Shane."

Kim harrumphed. "My relationship with Shane. It's not much of a relationship."

"But why?" Caroline asked. "You want to be with Shane. We all know it."

Of course, Kim did, but she doubted her mother would understand the fear of being pushed away. "Mama . . . it's not that easy, okay? I don't know if it's what I want anymore."

"That's crazy." Caroline grasped Kim's arm and spun her around. "You'll be miserable without him. And what about the kids? They deserve to have a whole family." Seeing the look in Kim's eye, Caroline said, "Okay . . . maybe that wasn't fair. But I want you to be happy, Kimmie, and you haven't been happy since before you went to Los Angeles. So how is that better?"

Caroline had a point, Kim had to admit. "I just don't know. I have to figure it out for myself."

"But you're not going to figure it out when you're always at work and Shane's at the house," Caroline pointed out. "Hey . . . why don't you go home right now and have lunch with Shane? He's probably bored being all cooped up like that."

"He's probably sleeping," Kim said. She had seen how much physical therapy took out of Shane. Usually, the therapist and Simmons had to help Shane upstairs after his session.

Caroline smiled. "Then you can bring him lunch in bed. Just spend some time with him. I'm sure he'd appreciate some company. And how hard could lunch be?"

"I guess. . . ." Kim had to concede another point. _How hard could lunch be_? "Okay, Mama, you persuaded me." She went over to her desk, pulled out her purse, and headed for the door. _Just lunch_, she repeated to herself. _It doesn't mean anything more._

Soon after, Kim pulled up in front of the stately mansion, but she stopped the car short when she saw the other car parked in front. It was Roman's car. _That means he and Marlena must be back_. Grinning crazily, she parked her car and raced into the house. She spotted her brother and sister-in-law almost immediately.

"You're home," Kim said excitedly.

"Hey, Sis." Roman stepped forward, but frowned momentarily before he gave her a hug.

As Kim hugged Marlena, she realized they were both tense. Kim turned back to Roman. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Did something go wrong in Mexico?"

"Nope, nothing went wrong."

Kim's eyes went wide as she heard a man's voice from behind her. She spun around and slapped her hand over her mouth in shock. Her legs wobbled as she stared, gaping, at the man in the doorway.

He smiled and said, "Hey, Sis."


	398. Chapter 398

Steve gripped Kayla's hand as she listened to Dr. Friedman. They had just sat down, and he was explaining how everything she told him would remain confidential.

"So why don't you tell me why you're here?" Dr. Friedman asked.

Steve could tell Kayla was nervous. The way she swallowed slightly and the little puff of air she breathed out were dead giveaways. Her hand would probably be shaking if he was not holding it.

"Go ahead, Sweetness," Steve urged. "I promise he doesn't bite."

"No, I definitely don't bite," the doctor said.

Kayla nodded. "I guess I'm here because of the same things as Steve. PTSD and all that. From being kidnapped. So I probably need the EMDR therapy."

Dr. Friedman held up his hands. "Hold on," he said with a smile. "How about you let me be the psychiatrist here, okay? Why don't we start at the beginning. You tell me what you're experiencing, I'll make a diagnosis and then we can discuss treatment? Is that okay?"

"Do we get the family rate on that?" Steve joked, hoping it would help Kayla relax.

Dr. Friedman laughed, as Kayla let a little smile play on her lips. "Okay," she said.

"So how about we start over?" Dr. Friedman looked at Kayla, then Steve, then back at Kayla. "Why don't you tell me what's happening to you that made you want to see me?"

Steve squeezed Kayla's hand, as she said, "I've been having flashbacks - well, I think they are. . . . Loud noises make me freeze up and I get bits of images of things and then I don't even know that time's passed."

"And have you seen this?" Dr. Friedman asked Steve.

Nodding, Steve explained, "Twice. Once at home when our daughter knocked over a toy and another time when someone was firing a hunting rifle nearby. . . . And a friend told me he saw it happen too."

"When a nurse dropped a tray," Kayla said.

"Okay." Dr. Friedman wrote down some notes, then seemed to think for a moment. "Have you been angry or irritable with people?"

Kayla gave Steve a questioning look. "I . . . I don't think so."

"And what about activities? Are you having trouble completing tasks? Sleep problems?"

"No." Kayla shook her head. "None of that."

Dr. Friedman pursed his lips. "What about anxiety? Are you feeling anxious about things?"

"Well . . . . I guess so," Kayla said. "I mean a good friend of ours nearly died rescuing me and we didn't know for awhile if he'd make it. And my sister and me . . . we've had some issues."

"I mean things that you normally wouldn't be anxious about. Everyday things." Dr. Friedman's eyes narrowed as he studied Kayla. "Do you feel unsafe?"

Kayla frowned for a moment as she thought that through. "I don't think so."

"Okay. . . good. . . ." Dr. Friedman looked down at his notes again. "And the activities you've done since this kidnapping. Are there any things you've avoided doing?"

Kayla glanced at Steve once more. "I . . . I can't think of anything. Steve?"

"Not that I've noticed," Steve said honestly.

Dr. Friedman continued to nod and jot down notes. After a brief silence, he set down his pen and looked at Steve. "At this point, Steve, I'd like to speak with Kayla alone."

_Not a chance_, Steve thought. "I think she needs me here."

"I understand that you want to be here to give her your support, but please allow me to speak with her alone." Dr. Friedman turned his attention back to Kayla. "It will be okay."

"I'm sure it will," Kayla said calmly. "It's okay, Steve. I can handle it."

Steve studied her and saw that a lot of the nervous energy he had seen before had dissipated. Still, he was wary. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," Kayla replied.

Steve let go of Kayla's hand and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Okay, but I'll be just on the other side of that door." Turning to Dr. Friedman, Steve said, "You take care of her, okay?"

"Of course, I will, Steve."

Still feeling a bit hesitant about leaving, Steve walked slowly to the door. He hoped Kayla would call for him to return, but she said nothing. Finally, Steve reached the door and had no choice but to open it and step outside into the hospital corridor.

For the next five minutes, Steve paced back and forth, wondering what was going on in the doctor's office. He had to remind himself that he had been through treatments in there and they had worked. He had to trust Dr. Friedman.

"Steve."

Jerking his head around, Steve was surprised to see Bo walking down the hallway toward him.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked.

"I was looking for Kay, actually." As Bo came closer, Steve could tell something was wrong. Bo had a worried look on his face. "One of the guys in the lab said you'd left together and, asking around, I was told you were over here." He looked around at the closed doors. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Reluctant to say anything about Kayla's condition, Steve quickly concocted a cover story. "Oh, it's nothing. We were just taking a break together. . . ." Steve let that remain cryptic, figuring Bo would find his own way of filling in the blanks. "Then Kayla said she had something she needed to discuss with this doctor. I think it has something to do with the new trauma center. And you know me and shop talk."

"Yeah, I do," Bo said with a chuckle. "Unless it has to do with pool cues and beer, right?"

"You know me too well, Beauregard." Steve felt a wash of relief as he realized that Bo had fallen for his story. "Now what's up? Why are you hunting Kayla down?"

Bo frowned. "The new guy down at the lab said something happened to Carly earlier. I guess Kayla was there and I wanted to find out what she saw."

"What sort of thing?" Steve asked.

"I don't really know," Bo said. "Something about her having trouble breathing and needing an oxygen mask. Of course, Carly said it was nothing."

Steve shrugged. "Kayla didn't say anything about it to me. If it was anything serious, I'm sure she would have."

"Yeah, that's probably true." Bo scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe it isn't anything and I'm just overreacting. I've been on edge ever since Alamain got out."

"You just worry too much," Steve said. Then he got an idea. "Hey . . . remember how when I was all messed up and down in the dumps, you dragged me to the Heart for a night?"

Bo's eyes narrowed. "Do I remember? I remember you nearly wrapping your pool cue around some dude's neck."

"Yeah, well, that's in the past," Steve said. "What I mean is that you could probably use a night out. So how 'bout I grab Kayla and you get Carly, and we meet at the Heart for burgers and beer. You and me can play a few racks."

"You sure Jimmy will let you through the door?"

Steve chuckled, remembering his last encounter with Jimmy. "Yeah, me and Jimmy made up. Besides, he thinks Shane's the crazy one now." At Bo's raised eyebrow, Steve shook his head. "Trust me, you don't really want to know. But how about it? How about 6:30?"

"Make it 7:30 and you've got a deal," Bo said, grinning. "Carly has to work late, but she can probably catch us if we get together then."

"Sure thing."

Bo continued to grin. "Loser picks up the tab."

"Oh, so you're getting rich these days, Brady?" Steve laughed. "I hope you bring plenty of greenbacks then. 'Cause you know you can't beat me. No way. No how."

Bo shook his head confidently. "Just keep telling yourself that, Steve. Overconfidence is a killer." He glanced at the door of Dr. Friedman's office. "Hey, tell Kay I was looking for her and I'll see her later. I'd better let Carly know we have a double date tonight." He turned and started to walk away, but called out over his shoulder. "Remember to make sure you've got enough to cover the tab. You'd be surprised at how Carly slams them back."

Steve had to laugh at the image that formed in his head, but he could not let the jibe go unanswered. "You'd better tell her to go slow or you might have to put that boat of yours in hock."

Now nearing the elevator, Bo called back. "Very funny. You know, I should call NBC and tell them they made a mistake. You should be replacing Johnny Carson, not that Jay Leno guy."

As Bo disappeared, Steve leaned against the wall. A nice, fun evening with friends was probably just what they all needed. He was sure Kayla would welcome the distraction after her session with Dr. Friedman. It would be good for Steve too. Remembering the way he had frozen as he lined up for his shot the last time he has tried to play, Steve knew tonight would be a good test for himself. He knew he was better since he had gone through his treatments. _I'll prove it tonight_, he thought, a broad grin crossing his face. He was still grinning when Kayla came out about 15 minutes later.

Steve rushed forward. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kayla said. She smiled softly. He could see the strain evident on her face, but she did seem all right. "Everything's fine."

Wrapping an arm around her, Steve began to steer her toward the elevator. "Good. Why don't you tell me all about it? And then I can tell you about our double-date tonight."


	399. Chapter 399

Shane cursed himself for being unable to rush to Kim's side when she stumbled in shock at the sight of Roman 2. Marlena reached her quickly and helped her to the couch, while both Romans tried to get close.

"This can't be happening," Kim looked at Roman 1, and then back at Roman 2. "This can't be happening."

"It is, Sis," Roman 2 said. "It's me and I'm finally home."

Roman 1 put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Not so fast, pal. I'm not buying your story. . . ." He turned his head in Shane's direction. "And I bet Shane doesn't either."

Marlena turned too and looked at him anxiously. "Shane?"

Taking some slow steps across the room, Shane made his way to an empty chair. He was drained already, and this whole bizarre twist appeared to just be getting started. Sinking into the cushion, Shane rested both hands on the handle of his cane.

"I wish I could tell you something, but I don't have an answer. . . ."

Roman 1 cut Shane off. "But I answered all your questions - even the trick ones."

"Yes . . . you did," Shane replied. Roman 1 had displayed a perfect recollection of every matter Shane had raised. He looked at Roman 2. "But so did he. Every question. I don't understand it - and I certainly can't explain it - but you both have Roman Brady's memories, including things no imposter could possibly know."

"That's obviously not true," Roman 2 said, eyeing his counterpart suspiciously. "There can't be two of us." He glared at Shane. "Or has your time away from ISA made you forget basic detective work?"

"Roman!" That came from Marlena, and seemed to have the effect she wanted. Roman 2 turned away and stomped over to the window alcove.

Shane took the momentary silence as a chance to check on Kim. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I know this must be a shock. It was for me as well."

"I'm okay," she said evenly. "Confused, but okay. How did this-"

"How did this happen?" Roman 1 interrupted. "Me and Doc were in San Cristobal and we got lost in a jungle. Next thing we know-" He pointed at Roman 2. "He was shooting at us."

"I was shooting at the guy who was impersonating me," Roman 2 snapped.

Marlena raised her hands. "Enough, both of you. Would you please stop sniping at each other while we figure out what we to do? Shane . . . do you have any ideas?"

"Yes . . . but I'm not sure you're going to like it. . . ." Shane personally hated the idea, but it seemed to be the only way to get the answers they needed secretly. "You should call the ISA and have them run DNA tests."

Roman 1 jerked his head back and shook it violently. "Oh, no, partner. There's no way I'm trusting the ISA."

"I knew you'd feel that way, but I can't think of any other way to get a DNA test done on the sly," Shane explained. "University Hospital is out of the question. You walk in there and the rest of Salem will know in a matter of hours. The ISA can have a specialist come to you, take what he needs, and then the ISA lab in Washington can run the test."

"So there is some aspect of detective work he remembers," Roman 2 grumbled. He rolled his eyes in response to Marlena's sharp look. "Let's do it."

Shane looked at Roman 1. "I wish I had another idea, Roman, but if it helps, I don't see any reason why the ISA would be involved with this." Shane stopped short. He was about to point out that the ISA had never harbored ill-will to Roman; Vaughn had used him in Stockholm, but not to hurt Roman directly.

Roman 1 did not seem mollified. "I can see a reason - you. Having the Police Commander as your friend could be inconvenient with your trial coming up. With me out of the picture and an imposter in my place-"

"Hey, who are you calling an imposter, pal," Roman 2 snarled.

Roman 1 ignored the comment. "Look at what Tarrington's already done to you. Taking out your best friend so he can't help could be part of his plan to put you away."

Shane had to chuckle a little. "Contrary to what I might sometimes think, the world does not revolve around me, Roman. Besides, Tarrington doesn't need to take you out of the picture to get what he wants. He already has the judge in his pocket." Shane squeezed the cane handle. "It's really your best option."

"Fine," Roman 1 muttered.

Roman 2 walked over to the phone. "So let's call the chief. Who is it?"

"Tarrington," Shane said. _Tarrington, who betrayed me_, _used my family, and doesn't deserve an ounce of trust._

Obviously, Roman 2 had a completely different opinion. "Ol' Captain Tarrington? That's great. He was my first ISA contact. Good for him to make it to the top."

"Yeah," Kim said, the sarcasm plain. "Good for him."

Shane exchanged a look with her, but she stood up and walked toward window. Meanwhile, Roman 2 was trying to explain the situation to someone over the phone.

"Yes, I know it sounds crazy," Roman 2 said. "Tarrington, I'm telling you that I'm Roman Brady and this guy you've let into the ISA is not Roman Brady." As he spoke. Roman 1 stalked angrily back-and-forth across the library, obviously annoyed with what Roman 2 was saying. "Yes, Chief, that's it exactly. DNA tests, but we need them secret - not until we know what we're dealing with."

Roman 1 reached the limits of his patience. "What we're dealing with is some sick game by I don't know who. . . ." He ran both hands through his hair as Marlena walked over to him and said something that Shane could not hear. He watched as she whispered softly to Roman 1, who looked up momentarily, then nodded. It was obvious to Shane that, whatever was happening around them, they still cared about one another. Plainly, no matter how this whole situation turned out, someone would be hurt.

Taking a deep breath, Shane looked toward the window where Kim was standing. She was watching Marlena and Roman 1 closely, a sad, crooked smile on her face. Then she turned her head toward Shane, their eyes locked momentarily, and she looked down at the floor.

"Done," Roman 2 announced. "The doctor will be in Salem first thing in the morning to get samples."

"Wait," Kim said. "What about Mama and Papa? Won't you need their samples?"

Roman 2 seemed nonplused. "Sure. We'll get them. I say we go over there right now."

Roman 1 shook his head. "Whoa, pal."

For an instant, Shane feared the two men would come to blows, so he spoke quickly. "Hey, wait a minute . . . Both of you." Shane knew it was a bad idea to go to the Bradys, so he said to Roman 2, "Look, Shawn and Caroline have been through a lot these past few years." In his mind, he tried to think of everything the Bradys had been through since Roman's "death" on the island. That seemed like a lifetime ago. When that happened, everyone still believed Bo was Shawn's son. Victor Kiriakis had not even appeared in Salem_. _"This will be a huge shock to them-"

"So, what? I just sit on my hands when my folks think I'm dead?" Roman 2's face was turning red.

"They don't think you're - I mean me. They know I'm not dead," Roman 1 pointed out.

Shane raised a hand from his cane. "I'm saying maybe we should try something a little more discrete. DNA can be taken different ways. Maybe someone could take Caroline's brush or Shawn's toothbrush . . . something like that. That way they won't have to go through this . . . uncertainty until we know the results of a DNA test."

"Sounds good to me," Roman 1 said.

Marlena nodded. "I agree."

Roman 2 crossed his arms defiantly. "Well, I think it stinks."

Kim stood up and walked over to him. _Time for Kim to play peacemaker_, Shane thought. They talked in hushed tones for a few minutes. Meanwhile, Roman 1 paced around the other side of the library, repeatedly running his hands through his head. Marlena stood behind the sofa; her eyes kept darting between the two Romans. Shane felt completely helpless.

Finally, Kim appeared to get through to Roman 2. Gruffly, he announced, "Okay, I'll wait. Kimmie says she'll get something we can use for testing from Ma and Pop."

"You sure you want to do this, Sis?" Roman 1 asked.

Kim nodded. "It'll be easy. I'll say I wanted to bring Jeannie over so she could spend the afternoon with her grandparents." She hesitated and turned to Shane. "I mean, if that's okay with you? I . . . I don't want to take Jeannie away from you."

"It's all right," Shane said. "She's with Simmons. I asked him to put her down for a nap when I finished. . . ." _Quizzing_?_ Testing_? ". . . talking to them." Actually, taking Jeannie to her grandparents made sense. Shane was feeling so tired, he doubted he could watch her. As it was, he doubted he had the strength to climb the stairs to his bedroom. He would probably fall asleep on the couch after Marlena and the Romans left.

Kim frowned slightly as she watched him. "Are you sure you're okay, Shane?"

"Sure," he lied. At her dubious expression, he shrugged. "Just a little tired. It's been a long morning."

"Oh!" Marlena gasped. "I'm so sorry, Shane. We weren't thinking."

Shane shook his head. "It's fine, Marlena. I just wish there was more I could do."

"Still, we should go so you can get your rest." She motioned toward the Romans and they quickly made their exit, leaving Kim and Shane behind.

Shane watched as Kim fixed a cup of tea. Her hands shook as she lifted it to her lips. She walked to the sofa, took a seat, and muttered, "I don't believe this."

"I wish I could offer an explanation," he said. "But I'm as befuddled as all of you."

"When we found Roman - or who we thought was Roman. . . . That was right after Andrew was born." Kim seemed to pause. "Didn't the ISA verify it?"

Shane had to admit that he had not been personally involved, but he knew enough about ISA protocol to answer. "They had to. They would have never tried to get Roman involved in that Stockholm mess over the treasury bonds if they hadn't verified his identity." Still, Shane had some doubts. "The thing is . . . Vaughn was in control of the ISA back then. That man was so corrupt that it's hard to know what he might have done."

"Not much different than Chief Tarrington," Kim mused.

_No, in retrospect, probably not_, Shane had to admit. "Look, I'm not thrilled about using the ISA for these tests, but I really don't know how else to get them done in secret. We both know what can happen with test results at University Hospital." Kim snorted derisively, as Shane added, "The one thing is that the truth always comes out. We'll get to the bottom of this."

Kim nodded slightly, then turned pensive. "Shane . . . what if Roman - I mean, the man we've thought of as Roman for the past five years - isn't Roman? Who is he? Why. . . ." Her voice trailed off, the last question unfinished, but Shane understood what she was about to ask.

_Why would someone get Roman's memories and pose as him_? Shane looked away and thought. The logical answer was not a pleasant thought. If Roman 1 was not really Roman Brady, he was some type of plant who had been brainwashed. That was consistent with what Shane had managed to discern about the Pawn, but they had always thought that Petrov had just wiped the man's memory.

And, yet, it was completely absurd to think that the man Shane considered his best friend was a plant who was placed in Salem for some nefarious purpose. Roman 1 was a good man, someone you could trust to always have your back. Shane had known that when he was just John Black and had been willing to let Shane eavesdrop on Victor.

"It doesn't matter," Shane said. "If he's not Roman, however this shakes out, he's still a good man. I know this will be hard on your parents . . . and on you, but I just don't think the kind of love he has for you and your family can be faked. Whatever the reason, that's genuine."

He felt Kim watching him, and knew she had her doubts.

"I wish I could do more to help you through this," Shane said quietly, turning his head so their eyes met. "You know I'd do whatever I could to help you avoid being hurt."

For a moment, neither of them said a thing. Shane could see the longing in Kim's eyes, and he smiled softly. Kim started to smile back, but then looked away. "I . . . I'd better be going." She set her cup down on an end table. "I have to get back to work, and I don't have much time to get Jeannie to my folks. I'll find some things and take them over to Marlena's."

"Put a few plastic bags in the purse and put whatever you take in the bags quickly. Try to touch them as little as possible," Shane said. "You don't want to contaminate them with your DNA."

Kim nodded. "I'd . . . I'd better go."

"Kim, wait. . . ." Something had just dawned on him. "Why did you come home? I mean, you don't normally come home during the middle of the day when you're working."

"No. . . ." Kim looked sheepishly at the floor. Then she looked up. "I . . . I was going to keep you company during lunch."

Shane thought his heart started beating a little faster.

"Guess that's kind of silly," she said.

"Not to me," he replied, then silently warned himself, _Don't push. You're not supposed to be pushing her_. Still, he smiled. "I'm sorry about all this . . . That would have been nice."

"What would have?" Kim asked.

Shane chuckled. "Lunch. Having lunch with you would have been nice."

"Um . . . yeah. . . ." Kim appeared to be growing a little uncomfortable, and Shane suspected he might have overstepped. "Look. . . ." She motioned for the door. "I really should go." She did not wait for his response, before she almost fled through the door.

Now alone in the library, Shane rose slowly from the chair and, using the cane, carefully moved to the couch. Reaching it, he sat down, turned, pulled his legs up, and tried to clear his mind so he could rest. But as he did, he could not stop himself from grinning. Kim had started to take the first step. Maybe it had been interrupted, but it was a step forward nonetheless. The rest would follow in time. He would make sure of it.


	400. Chapter 400

"Hey Sweetness! You ready to see your baby brother cry?"

"The only person who's going to be crying when this game is over is you."

Kayla laughed as she walked to the door of the Cheating Heart with Bo and Steve. Clearly, the guys were falling right back into their old routine.

The appointment with Dr. Friedman had been easier than she had expected. After Steve had left the room, Dr. Friedman had asked her a few more questions and then smiled and told her that while she was certainly dealing with the after affects of a traumatic situation, she did not fit the symptom profile for PTSD.

That had surprised Kayla, although in retrospect it should not have. She had read up on PTSD after Steve had returned, after all. Dr. Friedman had suggested a few counseling sessions to try and work through the flashbacks that Kayla was having. Kayla had agreed and had set up another appointment for early next week.

"Kayla!" she heard Jimmy call out as she walked in the door. "It's good to see you."

"Thanks, Jimmy," she said, walking towards the bar. "And thank you for helping Steve and Shane find me." Steve had told her how Jimmy had given them the lead that helped them find Cal's hanger.

Kayla chuckled slightly as the big bartender's face turned red and he looked down. "I didn't really do anything much," he stammered. "I'm just glad I could help."

"You did a lot," Steve said. "And we're both very grateful."

Jimmy just blushed and nodded. Clearing his throat, he resumed his normal jovial tone and asked, "So what are you having?"

"Three beers," Steve said. "And go ahead and save yourself some time, and just put them on Bo's tab."

"Hey!" Bo protested. "Loser buys, remember? And the only loser in this room is you."

Steve laughed heartily. "Okay, Beauregard. Go set 'em up and we'll get this settled."

"My pleasure." Bo took his beer and headed for an empty pool table.

Steve grabbed his beer and gave Kayla a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back in a minute, Sweetness. It shouldn't take much longer than that to show your baby brother who's the real loser around here."

"Uhh . . . Steve," Jimmy stuttered. "Are you . . . are you sure that's . . . umm . . . I mean I don't need any trouble in here tonight."

Kayla watched Steve for his reaction. She was afraid he might get angry at Jimmy's comment, but, instead, he just laughed.

"Don't worry, Jimbo. I promise not to go nuts on you tonight." He glanced over to where Bo was waiting. "But I can't speak for Bo over there. He's always been a poor loser."

"I heard that!" Bo called out, causing all three of them to laugh. With a wink and another kiss on Kayla's cheek, Steve sauntered over to the pool table, confidence oozing from every pore.

Kayla took her beer and found a booth closer to the pool table. She smiled as she listened to Bo and Steve banter about each shot and heard the crack of the balls on the table. This place had been a second home to Steve and that had meant that it had become special to her as well.

"Kayla?"

Kayla looked up quickly to see Carly standing beside the table with a curious look on her face.

"Oh . . . Hi, Carly."

"Is everything okay?" Carly asked as she took a seat.

Kayla nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine. I guess you just caught me daydreaming."

Carly smiled and then nodded towards the pool table. "I see they are at it already."

"Yeah," Kayla replied. "It never seems to take them very long to fall back into the old routine." She cast a sideways glance at Carly. "Bo said you were working late."

Carly kept her eyes focused on the pool table. "I just had to finish a few things up at the lab."

Kayla could not help but push the issue a little. "I guess this 'special project' of yours is pretty important."

Sighing, Carly turned to face Kayla. "I really can't talk about it." She held up her hand to ward off Kayla's protest. "I know you're curious and I know you don't like being kept in the dark, but that's just the way it has to be."

Raising her hands in mock surrender, Kayla smiled. "You can't blame a girl for trying, can you?"

Carly laughed. "I guess not."

The waitress appeared and Carly ordered a beer. The guys were still deep in their pool game, though Bo did take a break long enough to come and give Carly a welcoming hug and kiss. It lasted only a moment before Steve's catcalls sent Bo back to the game.

"So . . . how was your trip?" Carly asked after Bo left. "Bo said you went to South Carolina?"

Kayla nodded, reminding herself that was the cover story. "It was a good trip. It was nice to visit Charleston again. It's very beautiful."

Before Carly could respond, they heard a shout from across the room. Kayla looked up to see Steve raising his arms in triumph. She laughed as she saw the sour look on Bo's face, leaving no doubt about the outcome of the game. Within a few seconds, Steve plopped down beside her and kissed her.

"Once again, your one-eyed tomcat has schooled baby brother about the finer points of the game." Steve sat back in his chair with a satisfied grin and looked at Bo. "When are you going to learn that you can't beat me?"

Bo scowled and took a long pull from his beer. "I would have beaten you if you hadn't cheated."

"Cheated?" Steve sat forward and glared at Bo. "I beat you fair and square. It's not my fault that you can't make a shot under pressure."

"I can make a shot under pressure just fine," Bo shot back. "But you coughing in the middle of my shot is not pressure; it's cheating."

"No, dude." Steve shook his head. "I was coughing because you were using enough chalk to on your hands to write 'I will never beat Steve Johnson at pool' on the blackboard a hundred times."

Before Bo could continue the argument, Kayla jumped in. "That's enough, boys. You two can have a rematch after dinner. In the meantime, I'd like to enjoy some time together without the arguments."

Steve shot a triumphant grin in Bo's direction, causing Kayla to shake her head. _They'll never change. They just can't help themselves._

The waitress appeared with menus and they ordered their food, with Steve reminding everybody that dinner was on Bo. After the waitress left, Kayla turned to Bo. "Have you heard anything from Roman or Marlena?"

Bo shook his head. "Nope. Ma and Pop were asking the other day as well." He shrugged. "I guess they must be enjoying their Mexican holiday."

Kayla smiled. "I guess so. A couple of weeks of drinking margaritas on a beach wouldn't be so bad."

"A vacation like that sounds wonderful," Carly agreed. She turned to Bo. "Maybe we'll get to have a little getaway one of these days."

Bo smiled and kissed Carly. "You can count on it. If you ever stop working overtime at that lab anyway."

Kayla caught the concerned look that flashed across Carly's face. Whatever Carly was working on was very important and, Kayla feared, dangerous. But she knew she was not going to get any answers from Carly tonight. Tonight would be about fun and friendship. Everything else could wait.


	401. Chapter 401

"Penny for your thoughts."

Kim leaned against Shane and smiled. "I'm just thinking how lucky we are."

Behind her, Shane was reclining on his side, propped up on an elbow. His free hand touched her shoulders and trailed sinuously down her back.

I was a glorious afternoon. The warm sun was shining down on them. It had been Shane's idea to have a picnic by the lake, just the two of them. Kim picked up her glass of Bordeaux, took a sip, and thought, _Life doesn't get better than this_.

_Or maybe it does_, she said silently as Shane's hand slipped under her blouse and he began massaging the small of her back.

"We can't," she said, flushing bright red and turning her head toward Shane. He was looking up at her with a saucy grin. "What about the neighbors?"

Shane turned his head from side to side. "What neighbors? I don't see anyone."

"Not now," Kim said. "Who knows who's lurking in the trees?"

"Lurking?" Shane rolled his eyes. "I see you've forgotten that I am an expert lurker. I'm also an expert at detecting lurkers. There's nobody out there." He pulled his hand away, wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her toward him. With a sly smile, he said, "Now . . . how about I show you something else I'm an expert at?"

Kim could not help but laugh. "Is this your seductive routine, Captain D?"

"How's it working?"

She grinned and let him pull her toward him. "Not bad, but I think I need to see a little more of your 'expertise.'"

He needed no further prompting. Nor did she. She sank into his arms and he rolled her over to her back. Her eyes closed as their lips met in a long, languid kiss.

When they parted, he looked down on her. "Care to reassess you evaluation?" As Kim giggled, Shane said, "I guess I'll take that-" He broke off suddenly and his head jerked to the side.

"Shane?" Fear ran through Kim as she saw how tense he had become.

His eyes remained focus on a copse of trees along the border of the property. "Wait here," he said. He leaped to his feet and started to run toward the trees.

Kim was so stunned that she did not even manage to move until he was halfway to the tree-line. Another wave of fear hit her.

_He can't go in there._

The thought came with such a certainty that it hit her with almost a physical force. She sat back up and cried out.

"Shane!"

But he either did not hear her or he ignored her. Without hesitating, he disappeared into the darkness of the trees. As he did, Kim's entire body went ice cold.

_No, this can't be happening_, she thought, jumping to her feet. She raced in the direction Shane had run, fighting the cold that racked her body. No, no, no.

Reaching the trees, she looked for a sign of him, but there was none. She heard nothing, just the quiet rustle of leaves fluttering in the afternoon wind.

"Shane!" she yelled.

There was no response. But Kim realized that she was no longer cold. She was no longer anything. It was like her entire body had emptied, leaving nothing behind, and she knew what it meant.

_No, don't leave me like this_, she screamed silently. _Don't make me feel this._

"Shane!" she cried again, but it was no longer a call for a response. She knew there would be no answer.

"Shane!"

Kim sank to her knees and closed her eyes, unable to fight the emptiness.

"Shane!"

"Mommy?"

Kim jerked awake and her eyes shot open. Where was the sun? And the trees? The leaves were no longer rustling. It was dark.

_I'm in bed. _It took a moment for that to sink in. When she finally realized it, she tried to catch her breath, which was coming in short, staccato bursts. Her heart was pounding.

"Mommy, what's the matter?"

She looked to the side of the bed and saw Andrew standing there, holding his teddy bear. Next to him was a clock that read 3:28 a.m. "Honey, what are you doing up?"

"I had a bad dream," he said, his eyes big. "There were bad men. . . . Uncle Cal was there and he chased me into the woods."

"Oh, Sweetie. . . ." Kim held out her arms, so Andrew could climb up beside her. She hugged him tightly. "It's okay. It was just a bad dream."

Something in the back of her mind told her that she had just had a bad dream too, but all that mattered right now was soothing Andrew's fears.

It was hardly surprising that Andrew would have occasional nightmares. The ones he had after Shane's arrest had died down, but after what happened with Cal and Shane being shot, it was more astonishing that they did not happen nightly.

Andrew looked up at her. "Can I sleep with you, Mommy?"

"Sure, sweetie," Kim said softly. She helped him crawl under the covers and settle down with his teddy bear clutched tightly against his chest. He looked up at her and she began to hum a soft lullaby. She watched as he yawned and then his eyes closed. In a few minutes, he was sound asleep.

Kim smiled, thinking how lucky she was to have her children, but in the darkness, she had an uneasy feeling that she could not place. She remembered the way she had woken up. Was it just because of Andrew that she had been so breathless? Or was it something else? Kim shook her head. She could not remember.

Sighing, she lowered her had to her pillow and looked at her sleeping son. Once again, she noted the similarities between Andrew and Shane, and she reached out and brushed back a little hair that had fallen forward. Andrew seemed so innocent right now, with no sign of any bad dreams.

Kim listened to his light, steady breathing, closed her eyes, and smiled. No sign of bad dreams at all.


	402. Chapter 402

"Why won't they die?"

Lawrence turned around and glared at his lead scientist. Dr. Gert Schreiner was supposed to be one of the world's leading experts on venoms and toxic agents. After the fall of the Berlin Wall, every major organization in the world had wanted his services, and it had cost Lawrence a fortune to win the bidding war. Now, Lawrence wanted results.

"I said, why won't they die?" Lawrence pointed through a glass window at a tall, dark-skinned man who was slumped against the wall of the test room. The man's chest was heaving and his gasps could be heard through the intercom. "It's been 15 minutes. He's supposed to be dead."

"I assure you, Herr Alamain, that this is a step." The scientist stepped forward so he was next to Lawrence at the window. "The test subject has experienced all the symptoms-"

"Except for dying," Lawrence snapped. "Fifteen minutes and no death." He spun and faced Schreiner. "Have any of them died?"

Schreiner's face betrayed no emotion as he answered in highly accented English. "No, they have not as of yet. But it will come. We are merely ensuring that the gaseous delivery system is effective, and it is. What once we could administer only in liquid is now a highly concentrated and efficient gas. That is progress."

_But is it enough_? Lawrence asked himself. It was the second half of October and his plan was to have the toxin ready for public display in December. That was little more than a month. "Will it be ready?"

"I believe so, Herr Alamain," Schreiner said. "We are just investigating a few things."

"Such as?" Lawrence eyed the scientist.

Schreiner motioned to the man on the other side of the glass, who was still gasping as a figure in a full toxic protection suit held a vial to his mouth and poured some liquid down his throat. "We are noticing some fluctuations in the efficacy of the gas. We suspect it may be due to the subjects developing immunity to the toxin."

"Well, then, get new subjects." Lawrence did not see the issue.

"Ahh, Herr Alamain . . . that is, how do the Americans put it, easier said than done. This is a small island. Too many disappearances may alert the authorities."

_The damn authorities._ Lawrence shook his head. He had bribed the Mauritius authorities when he established the lab here, much like he had bribed Egyptian officials when he had built the Siwa facility. He doubted they would really care about a few men and women snatched from the poor areas of the island, but, still, the last thing he would want is for anyone to get curious and information about a rash of disappearances to reach anyone connected with the ISA. "Then find some new test subjects elsewhere. If anyone gets suspicious and word spreads, they will look there." He thought for a moment. "Mozambique. It's not far and we should be able to obtain plenty of test subjects in the slums."

Turning, Lawrence looked across the room to where Ivan Marais was seated. The man looked bored; these kind of discussions about science were never his interest. On the other hand, he was the perfect man to handle business in Mozambique.

"Ivan," Lawrence called.

Ivan stood up and walked toward Lawrence and Schreiner. "Yes, sir. How may I be of service?"

"Dr. Schreiner requires new test subjects. Therefore, I need you to make arrangements to obtain new subjects from Mozambique. They must be healthy." He looked at Schreiner, who nodded. "And it is imperative that they be the type of person who will not be missed should he mysteriously disappear."

Ivan nodded. "Very well. How many subjects do you require?"

Lawrence looked at Schreiner for the answer. The scientist pursed his lips and looked through the glass. The African man was now back on his feet. Obviously, the antidote to the toxin worked supremely well.

"At the very least, ten. Fifteen or more would be ideal." He glanced at Lawrence. "When the toxin proves lethal, we will no longer be able to reuse the subjects."

"Oh, of course," Lawrence said. _That makes complete sense._ "Ivan, find twenty subjects. If necessary, bring them in a few at a time. Just ensure that this project is done with utmost secrecy. I do not even want bribes. That might cause word to spread and we do not want any information to reach the ISA."

Ivan nodded once more. "Certainly. I will make the necessary arrangements. Before I take my leave, I do want to alert you, sir, about some news from Salem."

Lawrence raised an eyebrow. "News? Please. . . ." He suddenly remembered that Schreiner was there and lifted a hand to stop Ivan from talking. For the moment, it was best to keep the doctor uninvolved in the specifics of Lawrence's plans for retribution. "Doctor, are we finished?"

"Perhaps," Schreiner replied. "There is one other anomaly we are investigating, but I believe it is generally unimportant. We seem to have relapses of the toxic symptoms, but that will not be an issue once the toxin is lethal."

"Of course. Dead people will not have relapses." Lawrence acknowledged the scientist's comment with a curt nod. He wanted to get Ivan on his way. The more quickly Schreiner had his new test subjects, the more quickly he could make progress on what was important - making the gas lethal. Lawrence began walking to the door. "Thank you, Doctor. I look forward to your progress with the new subjects."

"Yes, sir." Schreiner looked back through the glass at the African man. Lawrence was paying no attention, but the man lay curled on his side, one side of his mouth and one eyelid drooping heavily. "Shall we dispose of the former test subjects in the same manner as the previous ones."

Lawrence chuckled. It was such a nice way of asking if the man in the room and the others being held at the lab should be taken outside and shot. "Of course, Doctor. If they have served their purpose, they are now expendable."

Still laughing, Lawrence followed Ivan out of the lab. "So Ivan, tell me what news you have from Salem."


	403. Chapter 403

Kim knocked softly on the door to Roman and Marlena's house. Since the reveal of the two Romans a few days earlier, Kim felt like she had been living in some bizarre alternative universe.

Not wanting to have to lie to her family any more than necessary, she had consciously avoided talking to Bo, Kayla, or their parents. That, in turn, had meant more time at the house - with Shane.

True to his word, he had not pushed her and, for the most part, they had simply spent time with the children and shared a quiet meal or two. To Kim's surprise, Eve had joined them for a family dinner. She appeared to be making an effort to get along with Kim.

It was all confusing to Kim. His effort to not push her only made her more conscious of his intent. And even as that made her ache to go to him, it also heightened her doubts. Kim just did not know how to overcome them.

She had debated just coming out and telling Shane about what had happened with Cal. A few times, she had even started to say something, but something always stopped her. Andrew would come running in or Jeannie would need changing or Kim would simply see the exhaustion on Shane's face. Mainly, she would see his exhaustion.

Or maybe those were just excuses. Maybe the truth was that it was only her own fear that kept her from telling Shane. She knew that every question about her future with Shane would be answered in his reaction and, as much as she wanted to put the questions behind her, she was terrified of the answers she might find.

Realizing that she had been standing at the door for a couple of minutes with no answer, Kim raised her hand to knock again. It was possible that they were not home, but Kim knew that Marlena and the Romans were keeping a low profile until the test results were returned.

Just as Kim was about to knock again, the door opened, slightly at first, and then wider as Marlena realized who was at the door.

"Kim." Marlena sounded both surprised and relieved. "Please come in."

"Thanks," Kim said as she entered the house. She looked around but did not see either of the men currently claiming to be her brother. Kim shook her head slightly. It was all so crazy.

"Where is . . . that is where are . . ." Kim sighed and just threw up her hands. "Where are the Romans?"

A small smile crossed Marlena's face. "Confusing isn't it?" Moving to the couch, she said, "One of them is hiding in the kitchen until we found out who was at the door. The other one was going stir crazy and left for a little while."

Before Kim could respond, the curly-haired version of Kim's older brother walked into the room from the kitchen. "I thought that was your voice," he said with a smile. "How's my sis today?"

"I'm fine," Kim replied, returning the smile automatically. Then she caught herself. She still did not know who this guy was, did she? But her eyes and her ears told her she was the older brother she had known all of her life.

Roman, or the man claiming to be him, seemed to sense her hesitation. His eyes narrowed slightly and a frown crossed his face. Turning to Marlena, he said, "I'm going to let you two have some time." Turning back to Kim, he gave another wry smile. "It really is good to see you, Kimmie."

Kim nodded, feeling a tear in her eyes. She could tell that her doubt and hesitation had hurt him, but she did not know what else to do. For the past five years, the man now roaming Salem somewhere had been her big brother in every way. She could not just reject that without more proof.

After he left, Kim turned to Marlena. "This is tearing me up inside. I can't even imagine what it's doing to you."

Kim could see the tears spring to Marlena's eyes. "It's making me insane," she said softly. "If those tests don't come back soon, we may all end up in Bayview."

Moving quickly to Marlena's side, Kim embraced her friend. Marlena seemed to sink into that hug for a few moments, then pulled away and took a deep breath.

"I'm okay," she said softly. "The waiting is just getting to all of us."

Kim nodded. "I know. Hopefully, the ISA will have the answers we all need soon."

Marlena scoffed. "That's part of the problem. I don't even know what I want the answer to be." At Kim's look of surprised, she explained. "The man in the kitchen looks and sounds like the man I fell in love with all those years ago, the man who fathered my children. I feel like, if I'm wishing for him to turn out to be an imposter, I'm betraying him in some way."

Sitting down on the couch, Marlena put her head in her hands for a moment. Then she looked up, more tears in her eyes. "But, at the same time, the man who I came home to a few months ago is also the man I love, the man I renewed my vows with, and the man who I knew in my heart even when he didn't have a name." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "What if I was wrong five years ago? What if we were all wrong?"

Kim sat down next to Marlena on the couch and took her friend's hand. She did not say anything, because she had no idea what could possibly give Marlena any comfort. Kim could not even begin to fathom the pain and confusion that Marlena was feeling right now.

The two women sat in silence for a few minutes before Kim finally spoke. "I wish I had some answers for you," she said softly. "But all I know is that whatever those tests reveal, we'll all be here for you and Roman . . . and whichever one is not Roman."

Marlena nodded. "I know." Shaking her head as if trying to clear away the emotions, she then turned back to Kim. "I never even asked what brought you by today? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," Kim replied. "I guess I was just feeling a little stir crazy myself, so I decided to stop by here."

"Is everything okay with you and Shane?"

Kim pasted a smile on her face. "Sure. He's home from the hospital and getting stronger every day."

"Kim?" Marlena's voice changed to the stern, professional tone that Kim knew so well. "I didn't ask about Shane's health. I asked about your relationship."

Kim shook her head. "I think you have enough going on right now without having to listen to my problems."

Marlena offered a wry smile. "Quite frankly, somebody else's problems would be a nice distraction. So why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

Kim was silent for a moment, but eventually her desire for counsel from her friend won out. Slowly, she told Marlena the whole story about what had happened with Cal and how Kim had been willing to use her body to manipulate him.

When she finished the story, she wiped a tear from her eye. "I haven't told Shane. I've tried, but I'm just so scared of how he will react."

"That's understandable," Marlena replied. "You've told me Cal Winters was at the bottom of a lot of your problems with Shane."

Kim nodded. "Shane's promised that he's past all that . . . and I want to believe him. I do believe that he wants to put it behind him, but I'm just afraid that if I tell him what happened, it will bring all of that pain back up again."

Marlena seemed to contemplate that for a moment. Then she gave a small shrug and said, "I could tell you what I think. I think Shane is a good man and, even if it hurts him at first, he'll come to understand and accept it. But I don't think that's the real problem here."

Kim's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Of course that's the problem. Shane wants to start over again, but how can I do that when I'm not sure I can trust him to forgive me?"

"You can't," Marlena replied simply. "You and Shane will never be able to rebuild your life together if you don't trust him."

"Then why did you say that wasn't the real problem?" Kim asked, completely confused.

"Because it isn't Shane who is holding you back from trusting him. It's you." Marlena smiled sympathetically. "I don't think the real question is whether Shane will forgive you. It's whether you can forgive yourself."

Kim sat silently for a moment, pondered Marlena's words, and shook her head. "I just did what I had to," she said. "I'm not going to apologize for that."

"Then you should not be afraid to tell Shane about it," Marlena said. "You didn't do anything wrong."

_No, but I don't know if Shane will see it like that. _Kim sighed. "It just seems like everything comes back, like some bad circle. It always comes back to my past, and, no matter what he says, I don't think Shane's ever accepted what I was."

"Shane loves you," Marlena said. "If your past was such an obstacle, you wouldn't have survived as much as you did. . . . I think, maybe, you haven't put your past as behind you as you sometimes think."

Kim thought about that for a little. Was her past her hang-up or Shane's? Shane had said that before, but then he had thrown her past in her face too. Yet she thought about the talk she and Shane had the month before, when they had talked honestly about Cal and Kayla - their "true confessions" talk. He had promised to let go of her past. So why wouldn't she give him a chance to prove that?

Perhaps the answer was simple - fear.

"Maybe you're right," Kim said. "But I'm still scared to tell Shane."

"I know." Marlena put her arm around Kim's shoulders. "And I can't promise that he'll be understanding, but the sooner the truth comes out, the sooner you'll know the answer and you can decide what to do."

Kim knew that was true, but something else popped into her head. "I'm worried too about what it might do to him. The day you and the Romans were at the house, he put up a good front for you, but he was exhausted by the time you left. Simmons told me that Shane was so weak, he could not even make it up the stairs and had to sleep in the library for most of the day. Right now, I think it's his hope for our future that's keeping him motivated to get better. . . ."

"And you don't want to be the cause of any setbacks?" Marlena asked.

Kim nodded. "I know I have to tell him," she said. "At some point, it has to come out. But what if he's not strong enough to handle it right now? I don't know if I could do that to him. Not yet."

Marlena smiled softly, suggesting she did not fully believe that Kim's concern was entirely for Shane. "If that's what you believe, Kim, I understand. But you can't live in limbo forever."


	404. Chapter 404

Shane looked across his desk to where Roman was pacing. _Roman 1_, Shane reminded himself, even as he contemplated how bizarre that sounded.

"You're going to wear a hole in that rug at this rate," Shane said to his best friend.

Roman ran a hand through his black hair. "Sorry, partner. I'm just. . . . Hell, I don't even know how to describe it."

Shane was sympathetic. Roman had arrived about 30 minutes earlier, interrupting Shane's plan to work with his physical therapist. Seeing how agitated Roman was, Shane made arrangements to postpone his therapy until later in the day. Since then, he had watched from his desk chair as Roman did his best impersonation of a pinball ricocheting from one end of the library to the other. The past few days of waiting for the results of the DNA test had obviously taken their toll.

"Frustrated? Confused? Angry?" Shane suggested. "How's that for a start."

"Really. All of the above." Roman walked over to the couch and plopped down. "You know what's the worst thing?"

Shane tried to make light of the situation. "The worst thing about having someone claim to be who you think you are? I haven't got the foggiest idea."

"It does sound so nuts when you say it like that." Roman chuckled a little, leaned back, and raised his head so he was looking at the ceiling. "The worst thing's Marlena and Isabella. You know how things were with Izzy B. I loved her and we just got engaged. And then Marlena came back and I felt I had to be there for her. She had lost so much time and she needed that connection."

"And now you don't even know if you were that connection?" Shane asked.

Roman shook his head wildly. "No! I know I am. No matter what anyone says, I know I'm Roman Brady. But I don't know what's going to happen with Marlena. She's spending all this time with . . . him." The last words came out bitterly. "I'm not even sure I'm the one she wants. And then there's Isabella, who's been trying to be supportive through all this, even as I felt like I should be with Marlena. She is my wife after all."

"I guess I do know something about that," Shane said. Roman looked up with a curious expression on his face, so Shane explained. "Emma. Oh . . . right, that was between the island and your arrival in Salem. You weren't here when she first came back."

Shane fell quiet for a moment as he remembered that time. He had been so confused. It was right after he had finally allowed his walls to collapse and had professed his love to Kim. Only, right after, he had found reason to believe Emma was alive, and within a few weeks, she had turned up, brainwashed by the Dragon.

"Emma's situation was a little like Marlena's," Shane said. "She couldn't remember anything about where she was. On the other hand, it was nothing like Marlena's, unless Marlena is holding out on some secret assassination plot she's been brainwashed into committing."

Roman laughed. "You know . . . from what I saw of Emma when she was with Alex Marshall, I'm not sure she needed any brainwashing."

Sadly, Roman was probably right about that, but Shane shook his head. "I couldn't see that at first - I mean, I couldn't see what Emma had become. To me, she was still the woman I had married, and who I thought had died because of my connection to the ISA." Shane could see that resonated with Roman; he thought Marlena had been killed by Orpheus in revenge for an ISA mission gone wrong. "And she was so confused and lost that I felt I had to take care of her. The thing was . . . my heart wasn't with Emma. It was with Kim."

Shane could hear the guilty tone to his voice as he remembered. Kim had been going through hell at the time. She had lost her sight, but kept that secret from him and, when he found out, she had pushed him away. Then she had gotten sucked in by Victor.

"It nearly destroyed us," Shane said.

"This is different, though," Roman said. "I love Doc. Even when I didn't have my memories, I was drawn to her. Those feelings were still there. And they were there when she came back, but now I don't know how she feels about me."

Shane understood Roman's frustration, but he also could see things from Marlena's perspective. "Did it ever occur to you that she's going through what you went through a few months ago? Suddenly, there's a man who looks like Roman and sounds like Roman, and he's claiming to be Roman. And he's as lost and confused as Marlena was when she came back. Or when Emma came back. She feels responsible for him, Roman. She probably hasn't even had a chance to sit down and think things through, or figure out what she wants. Not to mention, she's dealing with the uncertainty of which of you is the man she first fell in love with."

"So what? I should just sit back and let him take my place?" Roman scrunched his eyes closed, something he often did when frustrated. "God! I hate this!"

Shane wished he could do more to help, but he doubted anything he could say would make Roman feel better. "I'm sorry. . . ."

"I know," Roman said, regaining his calm. He fell silent and stared out a window at the garden. Shane just waited, knowing Roman would talk again when he was ready.

The silence lasted a few minutes, but finally Roman spoke once more.

"What if it's true?" he asked.

"If what's true?" Shane replied.

"If I'm not really Roman Brady. What if I'm . . . Jeez, I don't even know who I'd be. John Black was just a name I pulled off a plaque." Roman jumped up from the couch and began pacing again, this time very quickly. "I could be a criminal, Shane. I could be some killer. Or maybe I worked for Stefano. I know he had me after the island. . . ."

Shane sighed. "Roman, it doesn't matter. You're not some killer. You're a good man."

"But that's just it, Shane. You think I'm Roman, and Roman Brady is - or was - a good man. The good cop, ISA agent, family man." Roman cupped his head in his hands. "What'll this do to my family? Not just the kids, but Ma and Pop. Who will they think I am?" Roman stopped and looked at the desk. Catching Shane's exasperated expression, he asked, "What?"

"Are you done ranting?" Shane asked.

Roman closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "I did kind of get carried away, didn't I? But that's not the point. My folks . . . Roman's folks. They've believed I was him. They accepted me. They treated me like a son. How can I ever face them if it all turns out to be a lie?"

"I think the Bradys are pretty forgiving people," Shane said. "Whatever happens, though it might take some time, they'll remember that you were a good son to them. And if it turns out that you're not Roman - if - we all know you're a good man."

"Stop saying that," Roman snapped. "You don't know that."

Shane shook his head. "I do. . . . And you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because we both knew instinctively we could trust each other," Shane said. "You let me listen in on Victor-"

"And we know how that turned out," Roman muttered.

Shane tried to ignore the reminder of how getting access to Victor's was the way he learned that Kim had slept with Victor and might have been carrying his child. He tried to tamp down on the image that formed in his head of her on the monitor screen as her voice came through the speakers, saying that Shane would never know the truth. Shane had to take a minute before her remembered that it was 1991, Andrew was his son, and he loved Kim more than he believed possible.

Remembering the subject of the conversatin, Shane said, "Now you're the one who's missing the point. The point is that I knew I could trust you, and I had no idea who you were. On the flipside, when you were running from Victor, who did you call?"

"You," Roman admitted.

Shane nodded. "That's right, and I don't think John Black was the most trusting sort back then. Look . . . I'm serious. Whatever that bloody test shows, I assure you that nothing between us will change."

Roman stopped pacing. "You mean that?"

Trying not to sound too exasperated, Shane said, "Yes. Absolutely yes, I mean that."

The room fell silent once more as his friend took that in. Finally, Roman gave an acknowledging bob of his head. "Thanks, partner. If all else fails, at least I know I've got one place to turn." He walked back over to the couch and sat down. "So I guess there's not much to do except wait for the results."

Shane wished he could suggest something, but he had no idea what to suggest. He looked down at his desk, wishing again that he could do more for his good friend. It was hard even to imagine what Roman was going through, but Shane had meant every word he had said. Roman was as close to a brother as Shane had. In many ways, after Drew's betrayal, Roman had become Shane's only brother. Shane watched as Roman fiddled with one of the throw pillows, then tossed it aside, the anxiety once again building, and pledged that, no matter what might happen, he would have Roman's back.

Roman was family, after all.


	405. Chapter 405

Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door to Jack's office. He would have much rather been spending a quiet Saturday with Stephanie and Kayla, but he figured he needed to touch base with his brother.

"Vern," he heard Jack call. "I told you I didn't want to see you until the front page was done."

Sighing, Steve opened the door and walked in. "Sorry, Jack, it's not Vern."

Jack looked up in surprise. "Steve . . . hi." He stood up and walked from behind his desk. "What brings you by?"

"I wanted to see if you had any new information on your end. We haven't talked in a while."

Jack shook his head. "I haven't heard anything new . . . at least not anything that would be helpful. I'm still trying to figure out where Rachel Knight is getting her information, but so far I haven't had any luck."

Steve snorted. "She's getting her information from the ISA."

Jack nodded. "That's obvious. What I meant was I've been trying to figure out exactly who her source is. If we can pin that down, we might have something to discredit those stories she's been running."

Steve had to admit that was good thinking. "Have you made any progress at all?"

Jack shrugged. "I'm fairly certain that it's not coming from the local office. The word on the street is the local agents can't stand her."

That did not surprise Steve. The smear campaign against Shane, Steve and everybody else smelled like the ISA top brass to him. And if that was the case, they would not be leaking the information through a local stooge.

"Keep at it, Jack. There has to be a way to get the upper hand on Tarrington."

Jack eyed Steve curiously. "So how was your trip to Charleston? Find out anything interesting?"

Steve's eye narrowed. This was Jack on a fishing expedition. "What would I have found on a weekend getaway with my wife?"

"Come on, Steve," Jack said with a quick grin. "I know you and Kayla didn't run off to Charleston right about the same time that Deakins was supposed to be having that big family reunion."

Steve sighed. "You never stop, do you, Jack?"

Jack looked surprised for a moment. "I just figured that you used Charleston as a cover to meet up with Deakins somewhere. I mean it's not like I didn't know you were trying to get in contact with him. I just wondered how it went."

Steve studied Jack for a moment, still hesitant to trust Jack about certain things. Jack may have been genuinely sorry that his story had caused so much trouble and was trying to help, but Steve had doubts that Jack's reporter instincts would override his brotherly ones.

"Steve?".

"Let's just say that the trip wasn't a complete failure," Steve finally said. "That's all you need to know at the moment."

"I guess I'm still on a need to know basis, huh?" Jack sounded disappointed.

"Yeah," Steve said honestly. "There is too much at stake to be taking any chances. You're just going to have to trust me for now."

Jack chuckled at the irony of that statement. "You won't trust me, but I have to trust you? I guess that sounds about right." He shrugged. "Okay, if you won't tell me about Deakins, maybe you can give some other information?"

"Like what?" Steve asked suspiciously.

"Like whether the Salem PD or anyone else has any information about where Lawrence Alamain is these days?" Jack's voice grew serious. "Jennifer tries to pretend it doesn't bother her, but I know she's scared that he's on the loose again."

Steve nodded. "She's not the only one. I think we would all feel a lot better if that bastard was still locked in a cage." He sighed. "But to answer your question, that last I heard the ISA was certain that Alamain was buttoned up in his country."

"You believe that?" Jack asked.

"Hell, I don't know," Steve said. "I'd like to think the ISA would be honest with Abe and the Salem PD about something like that, but we both know they sometimes have their own agenda."

"He's planning something, Steve. You know that, right?"

Steve was startled by Jack's tone. There was a certainty in it that unnerved Steve. "How do you know that?" he asked.

"Because I know Lawrence Alamain," Jack said with utter conviction. "He pulled all the puppet strings around here for months, only nobody figured it out until . . . until too much damage had been done. And even after we found out, nobody could pin anything on him until Shane got that tape." Jack shook his head. "Lawrence isn't going to take that defeat lying down. He's not done with Salem, Steve."

Steve nodded as his brother gave voice to the thoughts Steve had tried to push out of his head. Lawrence was out there, planning something, and Steve was afraid he knew what that plan entailed.

"You may be right, Jack," Steve finally said. "But all we can do is try to stay on our toes and not let down our guard."

Jack blinked in surprise. "That's your response? Just don't let down your guard?"

"What do you expect me to say?" Steve snapped. "You think I like that Alamain is out there and I can't do anything about it? You think you are the only one worried about what he might do? But I don't have any super powers to stop that bastard. I wouldn't have spent months in his handmade hell if I did."

Jack held up his hands. "I'm sorry. I . . . I . . . didn't mean it like that. I guess I was just hoping you'd. . . ." His voice trailed off for a moment. "It doesn't matter what I was hoping. I know you are worried too."

Steve took a deep breath and tried to control his anger. "It's okay. I guess we're both a little on edge where Alamain is concerned. But all I can tell you is that I don't really know anything. But I'll talk to Abe and put some feelers out there in other ways. If I get any information, I'll pass it on."

"Will you?" Jack's disbelief was clear.

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I will. I would never keep that kind of information from you. I trust that you wouldn't take any chances with Jennifer's safety."

"Of course, I wouldn't," Jack said. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, I don't know anything." Steve turned and headed for the door. "Let me know if you find anything about our friend, Ms. Knight. Or if you find out anything that might help Shane."

"Sure," Jack replied.

With a wave, Steve headed out the door. He checked his watch and smiled. If he hurried, he could catch Kayla and Stephanie at her folks and grab a bowl of chowder for a late lunch. Then maybe he could get a quiet afternoon with his girls after all.


	406. Chapter 406

"Everything's so awkward. I just wish there was a way that this could be resolved without someone being badly hurt." Marlena ran her index finger along the rim of her teacup as if she was attempting to distract herself.

Kim tried to provide support. "Whatever happens, Marlena, you need to follow your heart."

"But what if I don't know what that is?" she asked. "I mean if it turns out that the man in the kitchen is really Roman, how much of my falling in love with the other Roman was because I thought he was my husband? Did I really love him because of who he is? And when you think about it, we really were only together for a few months."

Kim could sense Marlena's doubt. "Is that what you really feel? Or are you trying to justify how you think you should feel if it turns out that the man we've thought was Roman isn't?"

"I . . . I don't know," Marlena said. Lowering her voice, she added, "And then there's the other Roman." She motioned her head to the kitchen, where the curly-haired Roman had gone when he had walked out. "He . . . he seems so angry. And I can't say I blame him. If he's really Roman, how could he accept that his wife - the woman who's supposed to know him better than anyone - loved an imposter all these years?"

"If he really is Roman, he'll come to terms with it," Kim replied. "Roman - whichever is truly Roman - loves you."

"Just like Shane loves you?" Marlena gave Kim a knowing glance.

Kim shook her head. "Let's not rehash that."

Marlena smiled, then looked down at her empty cup and at Kim's. "Here," she said, reaching for Kim's cup. "Let me get you a refill."

"No." Kim shook her head. "Let me do it." She took Marlena's cup, stood up from the couch, and headed for the kitchen. Pushing the door open, she headed for the tea kettle, then stopped and looked around the empty room.

Putting the cups down, Kim rushed back into the living room.

"Marlena . . . did Roman come through here?"

Marlena looked up in surprise. "No. He's in the kitchen, isn't he?"

"No, he's not."

A stunned looked flashed across Marlena's face. "Oh god. . . ."

"Wait, don't panic," Kim said. "Maybe he just needed to get some air. He's probably going stir crazy with all this waiting, so he just went for a walk."

Marlena looked at Kim. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"No," Kim had to admit. "Let me get my coat and purse."

Ten minutes later, Kim and Marlena pulled up in front of the fish market. From the parking lot, they saw Caroline wandering around downstairs in the empty shop. She flipped over the sign in the door to indicate that she would be back later in the afternoon and then headed upstairs.

"He can't be there," Kim said. There was no way her mother would just go about her regular business if a man looking like her oldest son had shown up. Turning to Marlena, Kim asked, "So where else could he have gone?"

Marlena's eyes never left the store. "He's coming here. He's probably on foot."

That was a good point, so Kim sat back and watched the road that Roman would take if he were walking from his and Marlena's house to the fish market. After another five minutes, she spotted him.

So did Marlena. "There he is," she said, opening the car door. She climbed out and made a beeline for Roman, as Kim followed.

"Don't try to stop me, Doc," Roman said. "I'm not going to hide like a criminal anymore. Those are my folks in there and I'm going to tell them I'm back."

Marlena still tried. "We agreed to wait until the test comes back. Why cause them so much doubt and confusion when they don't need to be put through that?"

"There's no reason," Roman said, sounding completely assured of himself. "I know there's no doubt and there's no reason for any confusion. I'm Roman Brady and it's time Ma and Pop know the truth."

"Roman, please," Kim said. "You don't know what they've been through while . . . while you were gone. This would be very traumatic for them."

Roman shook his head. "Today or when the test comes back, there's no difference, Sis. The outcome's gonna be the same. I'm their son, so they can start getting used to that now." He started to push past Marlena, who let out a loud sigh.

"Wait . . . okay." Marlena held onto his arm tightly. "Look, let's do this the right way. If you're going to tell Shawn and Caroline, let me call Kayla and Bo and have them come here, too. It's best if they are here to help your folks get through the shock.

Roman seemed to think about that for a moment, but then nodded. "All right. Go call them. But as soon as they get here, I'm going in."

Kim waited with Roman while Marlena walked off to find a phone. Taking Roman's hand, Kim led him over to a bench overlooking the river.

"I know this is hard for you-"

"Don't act like you don't doubt me," Roman said. "I heard it in your voice earlier. I could always see right through you."

That sure did sound like her older brother. "Okay, I'll admit it. This is pretty hard to understand and it's confusing. Like you just said, you can see through me. But so can Roman - I mean, the other Roman. He didn't look like you or sound like you, but he had the right memories and it felt like my brother was back."

"That's just because you wanted me to be back," Roman said bitterly.

Kim fell silent. Was that it? Was it wishful thinking? She could not believe it. "No, it felt right, and I'll probably never be able to convince you of that, but that's the truth."

"I don't get you," Roman said, sounding bitter. "I come back to find out you married the guy who's probably been in on what ever happened to me this whole time, and now you're taking the side of the imposter. What happened to family loyalty? What happened to my little sister?"

Kim told herself that he was just as confused as everyone else and was trying to understand the Salem he had returned to after a long absence. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Kim said, "Things have changed. I've changed. And whatever you might think of Shane, he did not betray you. That's the last thing he would do." Kim remembered the tongue-lashing Shane had taken from Marlena at Roman's wake. "After we thought you died, he came here because he had to bring down Stefano. He felt responsible for what happened and did everything he could to make sure Stefano didn't hurt Marlena and Bo. And he's put his life and career on the line for this family more times than you can imagine. Shane loves our family; this is his family."

The both fell silent for a moment before Roman said, "Sounds like you love the guy." When Kim failed to stop herself from nodding, he asked, "So why aren't you together then?"

Kim felt her cheeks heat up as she tried to figure out what to say. "It's complicated, Roman. Let's just leave it at that for now." To her immense relief, she spotted Marlena walking toward them. Jumping to her feet, Kim said, "There's Marlena."

Reaching them, Marlena looked at Roman. "I got through to Bo and he's on his way. Kayla wasn't home, but that's because she's already here. Caroline mentioned it when I called to make sure Shawn was home as well."

"Then let's go," Roman said urgently.

"Wait," Marlena said. "Let's give Bo a few minutes to get there, okay."

Roman stomped his feet impatiently, but made no effort to push by Marlena. "Fine, Doc. Just a few minutes."

Meanwhile, Kim took a deep breath. She had no idea how this was going to affect her folks, and she thought of the other Roman, and how betrayed he would feel when he learned that he was left out of the decision. She wished there was some way she could spare him that pain. And she wished she could convince this Roman to wait, but that was obviously a futile task.

And, in that moment, most of all, Kim wished that she was not alone. She wished she had someone to hold her, someone who would give her his quiet strength, someone who would be with her as the Bradys struggled through yet another crisis. She wished she had Shane.


	407. Chapter 407

Kayla carefully placed her sleeping daughter in the crib her parents kept for just such an occasion. She and Stephanie had come by for a visit and it had not taken long for the combination of a doting grandfather and a rambunctious Max to tire Stephanie out.

When Kayla had gone to check on her, she had found Stephanie practically asleep in Shawn's lap while he played a game with Max. Smiling at the scene, Kayla had taken Stephanie from her father and moved her to the crib in the other room.

As she passed back by the playroom, she could hear Shawn and Max still in the middle of their game. From the sounds of things, Shawn was being shown the finer points of "Sorry" by his youngest son - and loving every minute of it.

Kayla had to admit that she envied Max a little bit. When she had been his age, her father had been struggling to make ends meet and keep the fish market in business. It was not that Shawn had been a bad father - far from it. It was just that he had rarely had time or energy to spend an afternoon playing games with his children.

Shaking that thought from her mind, Kayla reminded herself that her father had been loving and affectionate, if also a disciplinarian. He had done the best he could and, after working so hard for his family, he deserved this time with his grandchildren and Max.

Entering the kitchen, Kayla sat down at the table with a sigh. Apparently hearing her daughter, Caroline chuckled slightly.

"Everything okay back there?"

Kayla smiled. "Yeah, everything's fine. Pop and Max having a marathon game of 'Sorry' and Stephanie's asleep. I hope you don't mind but I put her down in the crib. I didn't want to wake her up to take her home for her nap."

"Of course I don't mind, dear," Caroline replied. "I never get to spend enough time with you these days. Now I know I have a couple of hours at least."

Kayla laughed. "Come on, Ma. You see us all the time. Plus, you had Stephanie all to yourself for four days when Steve and I were in South Carolina."

Caroline walked to the table and took a seat. "Yes, I get to see you, but it's usually while you are stopping by before running off somewhere else. I can't help it if I'd like some time with my daughter. Just wait until Stephanie is grown up and on her own, then you'll understand."

Kayla grinned. "Well, I have a few years before I have to worry about that. Although I can't believe how fast she's growing up as it is. She's talking more and more every day."

Caroline nodded knowingly. "Time truly does fly by. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that you and your brothers and sister were all running around this house." Giving Kayla a sideways glance, she said, "Stephanie would probably love a little brother or sister to play with."

Kayla nearly choked at her mother's comment. "Ma! Stephanie's still a baby herself. Besides, with all that's happened, Steve and I haven't even talked about having another baby."

"So, you're saying that Stephanie is going to be an only child?" Caroline pressed on. "That doesn't seem quite fair to her."

Kayla just rolled her eyes. "It's not going to work, Ma. I'm not saying we'll never have another baby. I'm just saying it's not on the radar right now. Besides, I think you and Pop have more than enough grandchildren to keep you busy."

The conversation was interrupted as the phone rang. Caroline answered it on the second ring. Kayla took advantage of the moment to go check on Stephanie, who was still sleeping soundly. When she returned to the kitchen, her mother was off the phone but looked concerned about something.

"Is everything okay, Ma?"

Caroline turned to Kayla. "I'm not sure. Marlena just called and said she was coming over to talk to your father and me about something. She said she was calling you and Bo as well. I told her you were already here."

Before Kayla could respond, Bo came through the front door. He smiled and kissed his mother and sister, then looked around.

"Is Marlena here?"

Caroline shook her head. "Not yet. Did she tell you what this family meeting was about?"

Bo looked as confused as the rest of them. "No. She just got called and asked me to get over here as fast as I could."

As the three of them stared in confusion, there was a knock at the door. Bo quickly opened it and Kayla could see Marlena and Kim standing in the doorway.

Bo ushered Marlena and Kim in and Caroline called to Shawn to come into the kitchen. Shawn quickly joined the group, asking "What's going on in here?" Seeing Marlena, he smiled broadly, "I see you and Roman finally made it home." Looking around he asked, "Where is Roman?"

Marlena looked uncharacteristically uncertain and Kayla did not miss the look she shared with Kim before she answered. "That's something I wanted to talk to all of you about."

"Well, what is it?" Caroline asked, the worry evident in her voice.

Marlena paused for a moment and then said, "There's just no easy way to say this. But Roman-"

"Did something happen to Roman?" Bo interrupted. "Is he okay?"

Caroline's hand flew to her mouth as Kayla felt her heart sink. She felt her father move behind her mother as if to provide some kind of comfort.

Kim quickly spoke up, shaking her head. "No, no. Roman is fine. We just need you all to prepare yourselves for a shock." She glanced at Marlena again. "You see, it seems that while they were in Mexico, Marlena and . . . uh . . . Roman found something . . . or somebody."

Kayla looked at her mother, father, and brother in confusion, and could see that same confusion reflected back in their eyes. "What are you trying to tell us, Kim?" she finally asked.

"Yes. What in the blazes-" Shawn started to say and then stopped. Kayla followed the path of her father's eye and gasped as she saw the man with dark, curly hair standing in the doorway.

Kayla could not believe her eyes. Standing before her, looking like he had stepped out of her past, was a man who looked just like her brother - or at least just like he used to look. Behind her, she heard her father exclaim, "Holy Mother of God."

After a moment of silence, he took a few steps into the room and finally spoke. "Well isn't anybody going to say hello?" He looked at Shawn. "Pop, it's me. It's Roman." Then he turned to rest of them. "I realize it's been a long time, but you don't forget a face like this." He looked at Caroline. "Ma?"

Kayla was still stunned. The face, the voice, even the smile were unmistakably those of her brother. But that was not possible. Roman had come back to them five years ago. This had to be some kind of trick.

Seeming stunned at the reaction, the man continued. "Look I know this is the last thing any of you expected, but I was kidnapped. I was held prisoner in some monastery. The same place they held Marlena."

"You can't be serious," Kayla finally managed to say. _It just wasn't possible, was it_? She turned to her sister, "What's going on?"

At that, Marlena finally stepped forward. "I know how you all feel. I was shocked when I saw him the first time too. We had agreed to wait until we had some definite answers to the questions we're all asking." She turned to the man with a glare in her eyes. "He insisted on coming to see you all today and I didn't want you to find out without some kind of warning."

"I couldn't wait," the man said, apparently ignoring Marlena's glare. "I missed you all too much." His voice cracked slightly. "Come on, don't look at me like that. I'm Roman. I'm not crazy. I am Roman. I'm your brother. I'm your son." When there was still no response, he looked at Kim, "I guess you're not the only one who doubts me."

Kayla could see the hurt in Kim's eye at that remark. Turning to her parents, Kim said quietly, "We've contacted the ISA and they are doing some DNA testing. We should have the results in a few days."

The man stepped closer to the group still staring at him in shock. "I thought those tests were for everybody else, not you. I didn't think that my own family would have to look at something underneath the microscope to know their own flesh and blood." He paused. "I thought you'd just know me. I thought you would feel the way I feel when I look at you. You're my family. I'd know you anytime, anywhere."

Kayla felt her heart clinch at his words. Everything in her was screaming that this was her brother, no matter how impossible it seemed. The voice was the same one that had teased her unmercifully as a teenager, and had also comforted in the way only a big brother could. The smile, the way he held himself. It was Roman. Or was it? She hated not knowing what to feel.

As Kayla stood still trying to make sense of everything, she watched as her mother walked to where the man stood. "I can't understand how this could happen. I don't know if I can even understand what you are saying or whether I can believe it or not." She stopped in front of him. "But I have a feeling. A very strong feeling . . . of affection." She placed his hands on the man's face and then embraced him.

The man wrapped his arms around Caroline. "Ma. . . . Oh, I've missed you." He clung to her embrace and repeated, "Oh, I've missed you so much."

That moment seemed to break through Shawn's shock as he too quickly moved to the man's side. He smiled broadly and slapped the man on the shoulder. "It really is you. For crying out loud."

Kayla watched as the man - _as Roman_? - laughed. "I'm just glad someone believed me."

Shawn laughed some more and said, "Don't be too hard on your brother and sisters. You shocked the hell out of them."

The man chuckled. "Well it was a shock for you too."

"Yeah, but we know, you know. We got instincts when it comes to this." Shawn turned to Caroline. "Aren't I right?"

It took a moment but Caroline finally responded. "I don't know what to say. I just thank God that you are home and safe." She pulled him into another embrace.

Kim walked over to where Bo and Kayla were standing and together they watched their parents and the man who claimed to be their brother. Silently, Bo put an arm around each of his sisters and they all looked at each other. It was easy to see they were all thinking the same thing.

Their parents had already made their decision. The man standing in their living room was their son. A part of Kayla was thrilled for them, just from seeing the joy on their faces. But another part of her wondered how long that joy would last. What would those DNA tests actually say?

Which man was the brother they loved and which man . . . wasn't?


	408. Chapter 408

As Steve stepped towards the door to the Brady house, he could see Kayla, Kim, and Bo through the window. They were standing together, all looking towards someone or something in the living room.

Steve did a mental check, but he did not recall Kayla telling him about any kind of family gathering. He guessed that something must have come up, and supposed he would find out what it was as soon as he got inside.

Tapping lightly on the door, he entered the house. Kayla's eyes immediately found his, and he instantly knew she was upset about something.

Stepping towards her, she met him halfway and melted into his arms. "Baby?" he said quietly, looking at Bo and Kim who had equally grim looks on their faces. Pulling away slightly, he looked down at Kayla. "What's wrong?"

Instead of answering, she just looked over towards the living room. Following the direction of her gaze, Steve saw a curly-haired man standing with Shawn, Caroline, and Marlena. The man looked vaguely familiar, although Steve could not say why.

"Who is that guy?" Steve asked, looking back at Kayla. "Is he the reason you're so upset?" He looked again at Bo and Kim. "The reason you're all so upset?" Steve turned back towards the man, ready to deal with whoever was causing his family trouble.

Stepping towards Steve, the man stuck out his hand and said, "I'm Roman Brady. You must be Steve, Kayla's husband." The man smiled at Kayla. "Marlena showed me the wedding pictures."

Steve stared at the man's hand and then at his face. He suddenly realized that was why he had looked familiar. Steve had seen the family pictures Kayla had from before Roman had been presumably killed by Stefano DiMera. But that man had returned to his family. So who the hell was this guy?

"What the hell is going on here, Sweetness?" Steve asked Kayla, still staring at the man claiming to be Roman.

Kayla shook her head. "I . . . that is we don't really know-"

"Yes we do know!" the man shouted angrily. "I'm Roman Brady and you are my sister, Kayla Brady, and the guy who's been running around here claiming to be me for the last 5 years is an imposter, dammit."

Steve saw Kayla flinch as the man ranted and that was all he needed. Stepping forward so that he was between the angry man and Kayla, Steve spoke in a quiet, but deadly serious tone. "I don't know who the hell you are, but nobody talks to my wife like that. So just step back and calm down."

The man's eyes narrowed at Steve's words. He stepped closer to Steve. "I don't know who the hell you are either, but that's my sister and I'll talk to her in any way I choose."

Before Steve could respond, Kayla stepped around him and pushed herself between the two men. "That's enough." She looked at Steve and he could see the pleading look in her eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Steve stepped back. "Sorry. I guess I'm just a little on edge."

Kayla gave him a grateful smile and then took his hand. Turning to the other man, she said, "Excuse us for a minute, okay?"

The man nodded and walked back to where Shawn and Caroline were standing. Steve watched as Marlena walked to the man and said something to him. He seemed to calm him down, as he nodded and gave Marlena a brief grin.

"Come with me," Kayla said, pulling on Steve's hand. Giving one last glance towards living room, Steve followed Kayla back to the hallway off of the kitchen.

"So is that guy really your brother?" Steve asked when Kayla stopped in the hallway.

Kayla ran her hand across her face. "I honestly don't know what to believe, Steve." A tear glistened in her eye as she continued, "I mean he looks like him and sounds like him and . . . even acts like him."

"What about Roman . . . or the guy I've been calling Roman for the last five years?"

Kayla shook her head. "That's just it. Ever since I first met him, he's felt like my big brother. He used my nickname, he remembered my childhood - sometimes better than I did. How could he not be Roman?"

"I don't know, Sweetness." Not knowing what to say or do, Steve just took Kayla in his arms. He thought back to the previous five years. Whoever that Roman was, he had certainly acted the part of the big brother to a T. He and Steve had butted heads more time than Steve cared to count, but they had also become friends. And brothers. That man in the Brady living room was a stranger.

After a few moments, Kayla pulled back. "This is all just so crazy. And Ma and Pop have already made up their minds. They're sure that's Roman out there."

"Aren't there some kind of tests they can do to find out for sure?" Steve asked.

Kayla nodded. "Kim said the ISA is doing a DNA test and the results should be back soon."

"The ISA?" Steve snorted. "Great. How are we supposed to trust those results?"

Kayla shrugged. "I don't know, but I guess Marlena and Kim must think it's the right thing to do. I'm not sure what other choice we have."

A cry from down the hall interrupted their conversation. Steve recognized it immediately and together he and Kayla walked to the room where Stephanie had been sleeping. As soon as she saw Steve, Stephanie raised her arms. "Papa . . . up."

Steve smiled and picked up his daughter. "How's my little Sweetness?" he asked as he kissed her head. Turning to Kayla, he sighed. "I guess we should go back out there, huh?"

Kayla nodded and led them back down the hall. When they entered the kitchen, they could see that Roman - or whoever he was - was still in the living room and that Kim and Bo had joined the group there.

The man looked up as Steve and Kayla walked closer and smiled when he saw Stephanie. He stepped closer, looking back and forth from Stephanie to Kayla.

"This must be your little girl," he said. He looked at Kayla again. "I still can't believe you're married and a mama." He turned back to where Kim and Bo were standing. "Or that you two have kids of your own." Steve could see the emotion on the man's face as his voice cracked slightly. "I've missed so much of your lives."

Steve could not deny the sincerity in the man's voice. Whoever he was, Steve had almost no doubt that the man believed he was Roman Brady.

As the man reached out to touch Stephanie's hand, the door to the Brady house opened again. Looking up, Steve saw Roman - the man he knew as Roman - walk in the door.

As Roman looked around, his expression betrayed the hurt he clearly felt when he saw the other Roman surrounded by the Brady family. He looked at Marlena and then just shook his head.

"Roman-" Marlena started to say.

Roman just raised his hand and turned away. Without a word he stalked out the door. Marlena started to follow him, but Bo stopped her. "Let me go. I'll talk to him."

Marlena nodded and Bo walked out the door. Steve turned to Kayla and saw the guilt on her face. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him while Stephanie babbled in his other arm.

After a few minutes, Bo returned. In a quiet voice, he explained that Roman was pretty upset and just needed some time to cool off.

"I feel horrible," Kayla said. "Did you see the look on his face?"

"He's mad at me," Marlena said quietly. "Not at you."

"No, Doc," the other Roman replied. "He's mad at me and I'll make it right with him later, okay?"

Marlena just shook her head. Steve could see the conflicting emotions on her face and, in fact, they were mirrored on the faces of every member of the Brady family. As Steve tried to comfort his wife, he had a sinking feeling that no matter what the DNA results held, making everything right was going to be pretty much impossible.


	409. Chapter 409

Kim stared at the mansion, almost afraid to get out of her car. The day had been had enough and now the thought of facing Shane and all the uncertainties she felt about him was almost too much to take.

Her heart bled for Roman, or the man she had believed to be Roman for the past five years. The look of betrayal on his face when he had walked into the house kept flashing before her eyes. And the way her parents had seemed to abandon any doubts about the new Roman. . . . Or should she think of him as the "old Roman"; it seemed to fit just as well.

Whatever she called him, the way her folks had so quickly decided that the new Roman was the true Roman disturbed her. But why did it? Kim had always believed a mother would know her child. She had said that to herself over and over when Andrew had been missing. So wasn't that what had happened at her parents' house? Shouldn't Kim believe her parents' instincts?

And, yet, there was something about this new Roman that scared her. The way he talked about Shane - as if there was some deep mistrust - frightened her. She had always believed Shane and Roman had been friends; Shane had spoken like they had been as close as brothers, and the way he had bonded with the man they believed was Roman returned from the dead seemed to confirm it.

Kim tried to remind herself that this new Roman had just returned to Salem after a long absence, and was confused about all the changes. Look at the way that he and Steve had nearly gone after one another. The situation had everyone on edge. So maybe that was the situation. Time and the test results would help.

At least she hoped so.

If only that were the sole issue she faced. After leaving her folks, Kim had been reluctant to go home. She needed to be away from family for a little while, so she had gone shopping to pick up a few things for the children. But walking around the store, her mind had flitted between the scene at her parents and her talk with Marlena. Eventually, all she could hear was Marlena saying that Kim could not live in limbo.

Maybe it was time to tell him. Maybe Kim had held off long enough. If Shane was going to react with disgust at her actions, maybe she should end the suspense and find out now.

_But what about Shane_? _Is he ready to be hurt like this_?

Climbing out of the car, the uncertainty weighed heavy on her. Her legs felt like stone and she took leaden steps toward the front door. In her mind, she thought this was how a condemned man probably felt as he marched to the scaffold.

Simmons met her at the door. As he took her shopping bags, she asked where Shane was. In the gym, Simmons said, meaning the back room Shane had converted for his physical therapy. The answer surprised Kim, because Shane normally had physical therapy during the morning.

"Master Shane's appointment was rescheduled," Simmons explained. "The physical therapist left just a few moments ago."

_At least I won't be interrupting anything_, Kim said to herself as she headed down the hallway to the room. She heard Shane even before she reached the open door. Stopping in the doorway, she watched Shane as he forced himself through some sit-ups.

Each sit-up was accompanied by a pained groan, and Kim could tell that he was pushing himself too hard. His face was a deep red and sweat was pouring down his face. His gray t-shirt looked soaked through.

"Shane!" she cried, rushing forward. Her shout must have distracted him, because he stopped mid-crunch and then collapsed back onto the mat he was using for his exercise. His arms askew, he just laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Kim said, unable to hold back her anger and worry. She knelt down next to him as he gasped for breath.

"I'm . . . I'm fine," he grunted, his tone not matching his words.

"Like hell, you're fine, Shane Donovan." Kim noted that Shane did not resist as she helped him to sit up. "Simmons said your therapist already left."

He nodded and grimaced. "I was just trying to do a little extra."

"Why?" Kim snapped. "What are you trying to prove?

With Kim's help, Shane rose to his feet and looked around for his cane. He tried to take a step toward it, but his legs wobbled and he had to shift his weight back onto Kim.

"Come here," she said crossly as she guided him to a weight bench and helped him sit. Shane was still breathing heavily and he said nothing as he tried to regain his breath. She could sense his frustration, so she took his hands in hers and looked him in the eye. "It's going to come," she said. "You're not going to recover in a few days, and you're going to hurt yourself if you push yourself too hard."

"And I'm not going to get better if I don't push myself," he shot back, finally getting control of his breathing.

"It will come," Kim assured him. "You just need to be patient." Kim knew how hard it was for Shane to hear that. He was not a particularly patient man. "Just give yourself time."

Shane shook his head and, when he spoke, sounded bitter. "Time . . . time that I can just sit here doing nothing. My best friend's going through hell and there's nothing I can do for him. I can't do anything to make you trust me. And I don't know how I'm going to clear my name. I don't have the luxury of time."

Kim squeezed Shane's hands and then let go. She stepped away from the bench, thinking that she was about to resolve one of those issues. She was about to open the door to discussing Cal when Shane spoke again.

"Roman was here . . . I mean the Roman we've thought was Roman for the past few years . . . He was here earlier."

"How much earlier?" Kim asked, wondering if it was before or after he had fled her parents' house.

Shane nodded. "If you're asking if it was before what happened at your folks, it was. Isabella called me an hour ago and told me what happened. She wanted the family to know he was okay, but Roman - I meant, that Roman - didn't want her to call anyone."

"Did you at least tell Marlena?" Kim asked.

"Yes, she knows." Shane paused and then ran a hand through his damp hair in obvious frustration. "I wish there was something I could do. He was here and I wanted to help him, but . . . bloody hell, I can barely walk from my bedroom to the library without aid."

"I know," Kim said. "I saw Marlena earlier and she doesn't know what to feel. She has one Roman who looks like the man she fell in love with and had her children with. Then she has the other one who she's lived with for the past five years. And remember how she seemed to know him when he was just John Black? How do you explain that?"

Shane shook his head. "I can't. . . . And poor Roman . . . . well, the one who used to be John Black . . . here he's been trying to remake a life with Marlena since she returned after falling in love with Isabella." With a sigh, Shane added, "Talking with him, it took me back to when Emma returned and I was so lost, caught between the wife I thought was dead and. . . ." He looked up at Kim. ". . . and the woman I loved more than anything."

Kim blushed a little, almost embarrassed under his gaze. She looked away.

"It made me think about that time," Shane said. "How I dithered about, and you were so stubborn. That's when you got involved with Victor."

_And there it was._ Kim felt a hollow sensation in her chest as if her heart had just emptied. He had said he would let go of her past, but there it was again. And if he was still obsessing over Victor, that pretty much told Kim what Shane would think about Cal.

She could not keep the edge out of her voice. "'Involved with Victor'? That's what you think happened? I was stubborn and got 'involved' with him?"

"Wait. . . ." Shane seemed confused. "That's not what I meant."

Kim shook her head in disbelief. "That's what you always say, but then when you're upset or frustrated, you go back to my past."

"Stop it," Shane nearly shouted. That obviously caused him some pain, because he winced and it took a moment before he could speak. When he finally did, he looked at her with an expression of pure hurt and bewilderment as he said, in a much softer voice, "I meant that if I hadn't been so stupid, we would have been together through all that time. I would've been with you when you lost your sight and you wouldn't have needed anyone else's help. I didn't mean to suggest anything untoward."

Kim wanted to believe him and thought he sounded sincere, but that doubt was there once more. Maybe she had overreacted. Maybe her fears were making her too sensitive, causing her to project those fears onto even innocuous comments.

"I guess so," she said, even as her stomach churned and her head filled with doubt.

Kim studied Shane, waiting for his reaction. She could see a mix of expressions on his face - confusion, doubt, and sheer exhaustion. That last she could see echoed by the way his eyes were half-closed and his shoulders were slumped forward. He also seemed to be breathing hard once more. It was like her reaction to his comment had sapped the last of his strength.

_He's not ready._

Seeing him like this hammered home that not only was Kim not ready to tell him, Shane was not ready to hear it. He was too tired and too weak. He needed to get more of his strength back, before she risked hurting him again - that is, if she ever told him.

"Look, okay, maybe I overreacted," she said. "This last few weeks have me on edge."

Through half-lidded eyes, Shane watched her. "I . . . I know," he said, his words coming slowly. "And we haven't really talked about what you went through. Maybe we should."

Kim swallowed hard. "I . . . I don't think now's the right time. . . . I mean look at you. You're barely able to sit up. You should lie down and get some rest." Before he could protest, she raised her hands. "If you don't, I'll call Marcus and you won't have a choice."

Rolling his eyes, Shane reached for his cane, which was perched against the weight bench. He slowly put it in front of him and started to rise, but he only got a few inches off the bench before he sank back down. "Maybe . . . maybe I'll just sit here for a little bit." He gave her a weak smile.

Groaning inwardly at his foolishness for pushing himself this hard, Kim just shook her head. "Hold on," she instructed as she walked into the hallway and called for Simmons. He came quickly. With her on Shane's left and Simmons on his right, they managed to help him to his feet and out of the gym. They ignored his sluggish protests as they walked down the hall.

Kim was almost exhausted herself by the time they reached Shane's bedroom on the second floor. With each step, his legs had grown more unsteady and he had let her and Simmons - mostly Simmons - bear more of his weight.

"Come on, Sir," Simmons said, helping Shane to the bed. Kim watched as Simmons helped Shane strip away the wet t-shirt. Even raising his arm to let Simmons pull off the shirt seemed to require substantial effort from Shane. Meanwhile, Kim flinched as she saw, for the first time, the angry red line that ran down his chest.

_That's because of me. _

The thought came unbidden, and she felt the guilt wash over her anew as Simmons helped Shane lie down on the bed and pull a blanket over him. For an instant, Kim felt a chill run through her. It was like the strong man she had always known was gone, replaced by someone frail and weak. This was not Shane. This was not the man she loved.

_It's just temporary_, she reminded herself to stifle the moment of panic. She walked over to the bed, silently repeating, _He will get stronger._

"I'll leave you, Madame," Simmons said. "I still have to fix the children some dinner."

As he left, Kim walked toward the bed and looked down at Shane. His eyes were barely open, but he saw her and his grimace turned into a soft smile.

"Stay with me," he said, his words barely audible.

Kim could not help herself from smiling back. She reached down and brushed some of the wet, matted curls from his forehead and tenderly touched his cheek. Shane's eyes closed with her touch. He mumbled something Kim could not make out before his entire body seemed to relax and his breathing grew steady and even.

For a few minutes, Kim watched him sleep. She longed to lie down beside him and wrap her arms around him, as if, by being together, their crazy world would suddenly make sense. But she knew that was as much a dream as whatever Shane was now imagining. She reached down again and brushed his cheek with the back of her hand. He murmured slightly and smiled in his sleep.

She silently prayed that he would sleep and would recover his strength. He would need it when she finally told him the news.

_It's too soon_, she said to herself. _He's not strong enough to deal with it._

As the thought ran through her head, she also recalled that momentary, horrific feeling of despair when he had mentioned Victor. How would she feel when she told him about Cal? Maybe Marlena was right and Shane would understand, but maybe she was wrong and that emptiness Kim had felt in her heart would be made permanent.

_I can't._ The two words ran through her head. _I can't tell him_.

He was not ready to hear it and she was not ready to tell him. So she would remain in limbo for now. When the time came, she would decide if she should tell him. But, right now, limbo felt a lot safer.


	410. Chapter 410

Just a quick response to a question that was asked. Sami and Eric are in Salem. They were at the school during the shooting earlier and will appear in a few weeks.

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Steve pulled the pink sweater over Stephanie's head and then smoothed the hair back from her face. "There you go, little Sweetness. All done."

Stephanie smiled at Steve as he lifted her off the changing table and put her on the floor. "Are you ready to go see Mama?"

Her eyes lighting up at the mention of her mother, Stephanie nodded and said, "Mama!"

Steve chuckled. "That's right. Let's go show her what a good job that your Papa did getting you dressed."

Together, father and daughter walked down the hall to the kitchen. As they approached the entryway, Stephanie picked up speed and Steve had to smile as his fearless daughter charged towards her mother.

"Hey baby girl," he heard Kayla say as he rounded the corner. When he entered the kitchen, Kayla had already scooped up Stephanie and was holding her in her arms.

"So, how did I do, Sweetness?" Steve asked, a crooked grin on his face.

"Hmm, let's see." Kayla put Stephanie down and turned her around. "The pants and sweater match, she's got her undershirt to help keep her warm, and you managed to get the shoes on the right feet this time." She grinned at her husband. "Not bad."

"Sheesh," Steve replied. "You get the shoes wrong one time and nobody ever lets you forget it. It's not like you can really tell them apart anyway."

Kayla laughed and walked to where Steve was standing. "You did a wonderful job, Papa. I just can't wait until her hair finally gets long enough for ribbons and bows. You're going to have fun with those."

Steve rolled his eye and kissed Kayla on the cheek. "You might be surprised, Sweetness. I have lots of hidden talents."

"You never cease to amaze me with your talents, Mr. Johnson," Kayla replied, her voice dropping into the seductive tone that never failed to make his blood warm.

"Really," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "Tell me more about these talents I have that you enjoy so much."

Kayla stared into his eye and smiled a knowing smile. "Wait until tonight and maybe we can do more than just talk about them."

Sighing, Steve relaxed his grip. "Okay, baby, I'll wait until tonight." He stepped away from Kayla and asked, "So are you working in the lab today?"

Kayla nodded. "I don't have too much office work to do so I'm hoping to be in the lab most of the day. How about you? What's on your agenda?"

Before Steve could respond, the phone rang. Glancing at Kayla, Steve reached over and answered it.

"Hello."

"Johnson?" came the reply in a familiar Southern accent.

"Yeah, it's me. What's up, dude?"

"Don't got much time ta talk," Deakins said, his voice seeming to be barely above a whisper. "I told y'all I'd talk to my captain, remember?"

Steve's heart began to beat a little faster. "Yeah, I remember."

"Well . . . he weren't none too happy about it, but he done said he'd talk to y'all."

"When?" Steve asked, hoping the answer was soon.

"He's gonna be in New York City for a coupla days later this week. He said he can meet y'all there."

Steve listened as Deakins gave the details of where and when Steve would meet with Nowicki. When Deakins was finished, Steve said, "Thanks, dude. You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"I jes hope y'all can do something to help Spooky." Deakins voice grew even quieter. "Cap's at the Hilton in Times Square startin' tomorrow night through Friday. I gotta go." With that, Deakins hung up, leaving Steve staring at the phone.

"Steve?"

He looked up to see Kayla watching him, a curious expression on her face. Hanging up the phone, he said, "That was Deakins. He got his captain to agree to talk to me."

"That's great," Kayla said. "When do we leave?"

"Sorry, baby. . . ." Steve knew Kayla was not going to like what he had to say. "You can't go this time."

As expected, Kayla's shoulders stiffened and her chin lifted as she got that determined look in her eye that he knew so well. Before she could begin her protest, he explained, "I need to go tonight or tomorrow at the latest, baby. I can't wait for the weekend and you have to work. Not to mention this isn't a good time for you to be leaving town with everything that's going on with your family."

The fire left Kayla's eyes as she took in Steve's words. "But-" she started to say in a half-hearted tone.

"No buts, Sweetness." Steve reached out and drew her to him. "I know you don't like me going on my own, but that's how it has to be this time. You need to be here to help your family deal with whatever happens with those DNA tests."

Kayla sighed and leaned into Steve. "I think I'm going to need you to help me deal with whatever happens with those DNA tests."

Now it was Steve's turn to sigh. "I know, baby. And you know I would never leave if I didn't have to. But this may be my last shot at finding something to help clear Shane of these charges."

"I know," Kayla replied. "I just wish those tests would come back so I would know what to feel." She looked up at Steve. "Right now, I'm just kind of numb. I don't know whether I'm supposed to be hoping that the tests come back in a certain way. I don't know whether to be hoping my brother has finally come home after years locked in some kind of prison or to be hoping that my brother has been here for the last five years."

"I don't think there are any easy answers to that one, Kayla." Steve thought back to everything he and Roman - or the man he knew as Roman anyway - had been through as friends and enemies.

Kayla seemed to share his thoughts. "If Roman - I mean the man who's been Roman for five years - isn't really Roman, then who is he and why has he been pretending to be my brother?"

"I don't know, baby," Steve replied. "But I think you and I both know one thing."

"What's that?" Kayla asked.

"If he's not Roman, he certainly believes he is," Steve said. At Kayla's questioning look, he continued. "Think about the last five years, Sweetness. There isn't one thing he's done that would make either of us question his loyalty and commitment to your family. Whoever he is, all of that was genuine."

"I know," Kayla agreed. "I was thinking about that last night. No matter what happens, it can't change how I feel about him. We've been through too much together."

The moment was interrupted by another ring of the telephone. "I guess we're popular people this morning," Kayla said before she picked up the receiver.

"Hello."

"Hi, Marlena."

"Oh. . . . Yeah. Steve and I will be there just as soon as we can."

"Thanks for calling. See you in a little while."

Steve had watched the expressions flow across Kayla's face during the short conversation. As she hung up the phone, he was pretty sure he knew what Marlena had called about.

"The tests are back, aren't they?" he said, more as a statement than a question.

Kayla nodded. "They want the whole family over at the Fish Market as soon as we can." She checked her watch. "Jamie should be here any minute to watch Stephanie." Her eyes darted around the room. "I . . . I'm going to get . . . I'm-"

"It's okay, baby," Steve said soothingly, pulling Kayla to him. "No matter what happens, this family will get through it. When Jamie gets here, we'll go to the Fish Market and we'll just take the next step as it comes."

Steve felt Kayla sink into his arms as he held her. He kissed the top of her head and silently prayed for strength to help them all through whatever the day was about to bring them.


	411. Chapter 411

"Hi, Mama," Kim said, as she gave her mother a comforting hug. She could tell by the look on Caroline's face that her mother was nervous. Why wouldn't she be? They were all about to find out which of the two Romans was the real one and which was the imposter and, even though her parents had already decided which of the men to believe, everyone knew that all of their lives were about to change.

Kim looked across the fish market to where Marlena was standing, with Bo beside her. Roman - the one with curly hair - was about three feet away, had his arms crossed, and was scowling across his room at the other Roman. She walked over to the non-scowling Roman and held her arms out for a hug.

"Thanks, Sis," he said, taking her up on the offer.

Kim held him close. "I don't care what any silly test says. You're my big brother - no matter what."

He let go and looked at her sadly. "I wish that were true-"

"It is, and don't you forget it," she insisted. "You know me. When I say something, I mean it."

Roman smiled and was about to speak when the door opened and Kayla and Steve entered.

"You can't start a party without us," Steve said loudly, an obvious attempt to break the tension. That only seemed to garner a bigger glare from the Roman standing with Marlena.

For a moment, that made her wonder. She could not remember her brother being so uptight when she was younger. Then she tried to imagine the anxiety and stress he was experiencing and his scowl did not seem so out-of-place.

As Kim watched him, Kayla and Steve both made their way to the Roman near her and gave him assurances similar to the one Kim had given. While they were doing that, Kim walked over to Marlena and the other Roman and gave them each quick hugs.

"So when are they gonna get here," curly-haired Roman muttered. "I'm sick of waiting."

"It's the ISA; they do what they want when they want," Bo said, an obvious edge to his voice.

This Roman shook his head. "Ever since I've been back, all I've heard are nasty comments about the ISA. The ISA's an honorable organization and they're helping us get to the bottom of this mess."

"Yeah, right. . . . The ISA's so honorable," Steve said sarcastically, clearly having overheard. "They're real honorable unless you get in their way."

Roman's face began to turn red. "Hey . . . remember that I nearly died on an ISA mission."

"Roman!" Marlena caught his arm as he stepped toward Steve. "Just let it go."

"I won't let it go," Roman snapped. "My little brother and some guy I don't even know just bad-mouthed the organization that I fought and nearly died for, that I just lost the last seven years of my life for. So I don't appreciate them talking garbage about the ISA."

"They have their reasons," Kim said. "We all do."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "You do? Didn't you marry an ISA captain? Even if he turned out to be a traitor."

"Hey!" Bo and Steve said, nearly simultaneously. Steve stepped closer to Roman. "You don't want us talking garbage, don't talk garbage about Donovan. You've got no idea what you're talking about."

Kim had to smile at Steve's defense of Shane. A few months ago, that would have seemed as likely as a pig flying across the Salem River. "It's okay, Steve. Roman just hasn't been here for the past few years, so he doesn't know everything we've been through."

"Well maybe he should be told." That came from the other Roman. "The question is where should we start, pal."

"How 'bout with them kidnapping Marlena to make you do their dirty work?" Bo offered, the disgust plain in his voice. "That only nearly got all of us killed."

"Or how about when they left Shane for dead after that explosion?" Now it was Steve's turn. "He'd only helped bring down one of the biggest drug rings Salem's ever seen, and they couldn't even be bothered to search for the body. I'm sure Kim really appreciated losing her husband for all those months."

"Or. . . ." said the staight-haired Roman, clearly joining in Bo and Steve's contempt for the ISA. "If you want to go back farther, maybe he'd like to know how the ISA left me with Stefano and had Shane keep it secret that I was alive."

Kim's stomach dropped, as everyone seemed to lapse into stunned silence. Even that Roman seemed to realize that he had revealed something that he probably should not have mentioned.

"What is he talking about?" curly-haired Roman growled, but Marlena pulled him to the back of the fish market. Kim could tell they were having a heated exchange, but she could not hear what they were saying."

"I'm sorry," the other Roman said to Kim. "I shouldn't have mentioned Shane. We all made peace over that."

Kim shook her head, but Steve spoke before Roman could. "Not him - assuming he is who he says he is."

No, Kim thought. If he turned out to be the real Roman, they were going to have to revisit that revelation. That had been a very painful time for the entire family. But she barely had time to dwell on that when the door opened and in stepped Chief Tarrington and four other ISA agents.

"Hey, it's my friendly neighborhood firefighters," Steve said rather loudly. Kim had no idea what that meant, but she saw two of the agents scowl at Steve. Steve started to say something else, but Kayla elbowed him in the side. "Ow, baby, what was that for?"

"Aw, Mr. Johnson . . . ever the comedian," Tarrington replied. "Now that the jokes are over, I do believe we have important business to attend to."

Curly-haired Roman stepped forward and held out his hand. "Thank you for coming, Chief Tarrington. I appreciate you taking care of this personally."

"Roman Brady was a fine agent," Tarrington said, with an emphasis on the word "was" that nobody could miss. He shook the man's hand.

"Well he hopes to be so again," that Roman said.

Behind Kim, she heard Steve mutter, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Tarrington obviously did not hear that crack, because he looked around the room and said, "Well, I see no reason to drag this out." He pulled an envelope out of his suit pocket. "In here, I have the results of the DNA testing. The results were sealed by the ISA laboratory in Washington and, as you can see, the seal is still intact."

Kim felt her entire body tighten. Her heart clinched and her stomach did a flip. Glancing around, she could the nerves evident on everyone in the room except for curly-haired Roman. He still appeared supremely confident that the result would be in his favor.

"Yes, well let me see," Tarrington said. He broke the seal, opened the envelope, and pulled out a sheet of paper. He studied it for a moment before he announced, "The DNA tests confirm that Roman Brady is. . . ." He glanced at the Roman with straight hair for a second, before looking at curly-haired Roman. ". . . this man. He is Roman Brady."

"I knew it," Shawn cried out loudly.

"It's a lie," shouted the other Roman. "I'm telling you it's a lie." Hearing the pain in his voice, Kim felt her heart sink. She looked at Marlena, who was standing open-mouthed in stunned silence.

Curly-haired Roman - the real Roman - stepped forward. "It's no lie, pal. I don't know who you are, but you are not Roman Brady, and I want to know who you're working for."

The other Roman shook his head violently. "It's not true."

Across the room, Tarrington turned to his agents. "Gentlemen, take this man into custody."

"Wait!" Kayla and Kim shrieked in unison. Kim could not believe it. Maybe the man was not really her brother, but he was not a criminal. She rushed forward, but an ISA agent shoved her aside and she fell to the floor.

The room erupted in shouts. Kim heard both Romans, some of the ISA agents, and Steve all yelling. Kim heard something crash as one of the ISA agents fell against a table next to her. The table and the agent collapsed to the ground.

"Kim!" Kayla rushed forward, grabbed Kim's hand, and pulled her toward the back of the room. Kim spotted her parents cowering by the fish market counter and she turned her head toward the front door.

Bo and Steve were each grappling with ISA agents. The man who was not Roman had a chair in his hand and was waving it in an arc to keep the remaining ISA agents and the real Roman at bay. Marlena was beside him, shouting at the agents to leave him alone. As Kim watched, one of the agents reached for his gun, but he was not fast enough. Roman - or the man who was no longer Roman - threw the chair at him. The agents jumped out of the way, giving not-Roman time to crash through the front door and race away from the store.


	412. Chapter 412

"Kim!" Kayla yelled as her sister was pushed to the ground by the ISA agents rushing after the man who used to be Roman Brady.

Kayla rushed forward, helped Kim to her feet, and pulled her to the back of the store. Kayla kept her arm around Kim's shoulders as Steve and Bo fought with two of the ISA agents.

As Kayla watched in horror, one of the other ISA agents pulled a gun just as the dark-haired man she loved like a brother threw a chair at the men trying to subdue him and ran out of the Fish Market.

"After him!" she heard Chief Tarrington yell. The agents closest to the door immediately ran out, followed shortly by the two who had been fighting with Bo and Steve.

Kayla could see Steve and Bo standing close together, each looking like they wanted to tear Tarrington apart. She walked quickly over to where they were standing, hoping to keep them from doing anything stupid.

"I apologize for the disruption," Tarrington said in his clipped British accent. "Rest assured that we will find this imposter and bring him in for questioning and possible charges." He looked around the room at the Brady family. "In the meantime, I strongly suggest, if he attempts to contact any of you, that you contact the ISA immediately."

Kayla heard Steve snort derisively beside her. Looking around the room, she could see equally contemptuous looks on the faces of Bo, Kim, and Marlena. Her parents just nodded sadly. Only Roman spoke.

"Don't worry, Chief. We'll contact you immediately if that bastard tries to get in touch with us." Roman stepped forward and held out his hand. "Thank you for your help with this matter."

"Of course, Roman. The ISA is always glad to assist a loyal agent." Tarrington shook Roman's hand. "Welcome home." With a nod to the others in the room, Tarrington turned and left.

"I'd like to wipe that look off that smug son of a bitch's face," Steve snarled behind Kayla when Tarrington left. Beside her, Bo nodded in agreement.

Kayla did not miss the glare that Roman shot towards Steve when he heard the remark. But before Roman could say anything, Shawn and Caroline rushed to him.

"Oh, Roman," Caroline cried as she embraced him. Shawn just smiled broadly and threw arm around his son's shoulders.

Exchanging a look with Kim, Kayla walked slowly to the center of the room, a smile gradually emerging. This was her brother. The one she had grown up with, who had been her protector - sometimes overly so - and who she had mourned when he had died.

As Kayla reached the spot where Roman was standing, he looked up and smiled. "Hey Sis," he said, smiling at her. "You got a hug for your big brother now?"

The tears sprang to Kayla's eyes as she threw her arms around her brother. "Welcome home, Roman."

After a moment, she stepped back and let Kim take her place. She felt somebody behind her and turned to see Bo standing there. Kayla could see the conflict in Bo's eyes. He and Roman had not been on the best of terms when Roman died, but Bo had mourned him deeply. Then, gradually, he and the man they had believed to be Roman had grown very close.

"Hey little brother," Roman said, releasing Kim and looking at Bo. "I guess now you know it's really me, huh?"

Bo nodded and stepped forward. After a second's hesitation, he reached out, grabbed Roman, and pulled him close. Kayla and Kim stood together, both sniffling at the scene.

Kayla looked back to the door and the softly elbowed Kim. "Marlena," she whispered, nodding her head in that direction.

Marlena was standing at the door, looking lost. Kayla could only imagine what emotions she was feeling. Quickly, Kim and Kayla walked to where Marlena was standing.

"Are you okay?" Kayla asked, feeling foolish for the ridiculousness of the question.

Marlena just shook her head. "I don't know what I am," she said sounding shocked. "I . . . I-" She stopped as Kim stepped up and put her arms around her.

Kayla stepped away and walked to where Steve was still standing while Kim comforted Marlena. When she reached him, Steve put his arms around her.

"How you doing, baby?" he asked softly, looking into her eyes.

"I don't know exactly," Kayla said. "I'm happy for Roman. I'm sad and scared for - whoever he is now." She looked at Steve, unable to suppress her fears. "He's not a criminal, Steve. I'm scared to death of what the ISA might do to him."

"I know, Sweetness." Steve embraced her and the pulled away. "You stay here with your family." He lowered his voice. "I'm going to go try to find Ro - him."

Kayla nodded and leaned up for a kiss. Pulling away, Steve winked and then walked quietly towards the door.

Walking back to Roman, Kayla kept her eye on Steve. She saw him pause briefly to give Marlena a hug and Kayla saw Bo walk up next to Steve. As Kayla watched, Bo and Steve exchanged quiet words and then both spoke to Marlena and Kim before heading out the door.

"Where's that husband of yours going?" Roman asked suspiciously when Bo and Steve left.

Kay did not respond at first. She knew Roman was not going to like the answer, but she also did not want to lie to him.

Roman's eyes narrowed as Kayla continued to stay silent. "He and Bo are going after that imposter, aren't they?" Roman demanded. "They're going to help that bastard."

"Stop it, Roman," Marlena finally spoke. "I know how you feel about him, but he's not a criminal."

Roman rolled his eyes and threw up his hands. "The man took over my life for five years. If he's not a criminal, what the hell is he?"

Nobody could answer Roman's question. But looking around at her family, Kayla knew they were feeling the same thing she was. Whoever that man was, he was still a member of the Brady family. She could only hope that Steve and Bo could find and help him.


	413. Chapter 413

"Check, Daddy," Andrew said.

Shane looked down at the chess board and realized that Andrew had moved his rook to D4 and taken Shane's pawn. Not really thinking, Shane moved a knight into a defensive position in front of the king.

"You don't want to do that," Andrew warned. The warning took Shane by surprise; his son sounded a lot older than five-years-old.

Shane shrugged. He had removed his hand from the knight. "Too late, I guess." The reality was that he had barely been paying attention to the game. Kim had gone to learn the results of the DNA tests and Shane's thoughts were focused much more on what was happening at the Brady Fish Market than on the chess game.

"Okay," Andrew said, laughing. He lifted his queen, slid her diagonally to D2, and removed Shane's knight. The queen was now immediately in front of Shane's king. None of Shane's other pieces were in position to take the queen and he could not move the king out of range. His only option would be to take the queen with his king, which would then leave his king to be taken by Andrew's rook. Andrew grinned triumphantly. "Check mate."

Shane raised his arms in surrender. "You got me," he said lightly. "You know . . . if I knew you'd become such a chess-shark, I'd have stuck to checkers." He smiled as Andrew giggled, then said, "Okay, why don't you help me pack up the board and you can tell your mother later how you crushed me."

As Andrew hopped off his chair and began putting the chess pieces in a box, the doorbell rang. Shane reached for his cane, but he heard Eve call out from the foyer.

"I've got it," she shouted.

An instant later, Roman raced into the library. Shane's good friend nervously scanned the room. His face was coated in sweat and he seemed unable to keep still. In Shane's mind, he flashed back to a stormy night, years earlier, when John Black had sought Shane's help while running from Victor.

Shane grabbed his cane and pulled himself to his feet. "Roman, what is it?"

Roman spotted Andrew and then looked at Shane, who got the message.

"Eve," Shane said to his daughter, who had come into the library after Roman. "Would you take Andrew upstairs to your rooms and. . . ." Shane eyed Roman, who nodded. "And stay there until I tell you it's okay to come out."

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Eve asked.

Shane did not have time to argue. "Just trust me, Eve. Take Andrew upstairs and stay there." He looked at Andrew, who was still holding the half-filled box. "You can leave the pieces there. I'll take care of them later. I need you to go with your sister."

With a frown, Eve walked over to Andrew, took the box from his hand and set it down on the tray table they had been using for the game. "Come on, Andrew. Why don't you show me your new video game?" He was obviously confused, but he did not say anything when Eve took his hand and led him out of the library.

Shane turned his attention to his friend. "Okay, Roman-"

"Don't call me that!" Roman shouted, his voice anguished. "I . . . I don't even know if that's my name."

Shane felt sick inside. Obviously, the test results had come back. "Look, I told you it doesn't matter. Whether your Roman Brady, John Black, or whatever name you choose, you're still my friend."

"Well your friend needs your help," Roman said, running a hand through his hair. "The ISA wants to take me into custody. They tried to grab me at Ma and . . . at the market, but I got away."

Shane shuddered. If the ISA was after Roman, they would almost certainly come here. Shane and Roman's friendship was well known within the agency. The big question was how much time did they have.

"Simmons." Shane called for the butler, who appeared an instant later. "Keep an eye on the front of the house for any approaching vehicles." As Simmons left the room to do as instructed, Shane turned to Roman. "Now tell me what you need."

Roman paced across the room. "What I need? I need a way out of this, partner. I don't even know what's going on, just that they're telling me I'm not who I think I am and they're assuming I'm an imposter."

"The ISA can't come in here without a warrant, so you can stay here as long as you need to." Shane leaned against his cane as he tried to think of what else he could do.

Shaking his head, Roman said, "I can't do that. That's putting you and your kids in danger."

Roman was right. And, at best, it was a temporary delaying tactic. The ISA could get a warrant if necessary. They would plant agents on the doorstep to make sure Roman did not sneak away in the interim.

"And you'd be harboring a fugitive," Roman pointed out. "I doubt the judge in your case would like that."

"I don't give a damn about the blasted judge," Shane said. "I'm not just going to sit by and let the ISA drag you off." Thinking, Shane walked over to the wall opposite the desk and pulled back the wall panel, exposing the safe. He turned the dials and, when the safe's mechanism clicked, opened the door. He felt inside the safe for a moment until he found what he was looking for - an envelope that he removed and tossed to Roman. "There's some money, which should help."

Shane thought for a minute. He doubted it would be much longer. The other places the ISA would be likely to check were Marlena's, Isabella's, and Abe's. And if they covered multiple places at once, they could be at the house in any minute.

"We need to get you out of here." Shane looked to the door and called for Simmons.

The butler reappeared in the doorway. "Sir? I have seen no vehicles yet."

"I know, but they could be here in a flash," Shane said. He pursed his lips. _Yes. That might do it. _"Simmons, do you have the keys to my car?"

"Of course, sir," Simmons answered.

"Give them to Roman. . . . No, wait." For a moment, Shane debated having Simmons drive Roman, but there was too much a chance that the ISA would search any car leaving the house. But then Shane had an inspiration. How many times had he used the ploy to escape the house after his arrest? He turned to Roman. "Go out the lakeside and circle around through the neighbor's. You can hide in the bushes until you have an opening and can get to the car."

Roman looked confused. "What car?"

Shane grinned and looked at the butler. "Simmons, I want you to take my car. Maybe you can beat the ISA, but even if they arrive while you're leaving, they'll search it, but there won't be anyone inside. Roman can meet you around the corner on Newton St." He looked at Roman. "The ISA won't come from that direction." Returning to Simmons, Shane said, "Once you've gotten a few miles away, let Roman have the car."

Roman started to protest, but Shane stopped him. Instead, Shane explained how Roman could reach the rendevous point without being seen. "Trust me, if I can repeatedly evade a horde of journalists that way, you'll have no trouble evading the ISA."

"Shane," Roman began to protest again.

Shane would have none of it. "Go! Just do what I say. I'll do my best to stall them and give you some time to get some distance."

Simmons and Roman disappeared toward the kitchen. Shane just hoped Roman could get outside before the ISA arrived and positioned agents around the house. He wanted to go stand by the front door, watch Simmons leave, and wait for the ISA, but he knew better than to do anything that might indicate he was waiting for the authorities.

He took a deep breath and said a silent prayer that Roman got away. Looking at his watch, he saw that three minutes had passed. He checked the room to make sure there was nothing out-of-the-ordinary. The safe was closed, the wall-panel once again in place and giving no indication that there was anything behind it.

Shane looked at his watch again. Eight minutes. Roman would be near the property boundary by now. Was Simmons also gone? And where was the ISA? Shane knew them well enough. This house would be near the top of their list to check.

The thought had barely finished before someone pounded loudly at the door.

_About bloody time._

Taking his cane, Shane started for the foyer. "Coming," he shouted as loud as he could. The good thing was that his injury gave him an excuse to move slowly, which hopefully could buy Roman even more time to escape. Every second counted at a time like this.

He opened the door to see Tarrington with several ISA agents behind him. "Shane," Tarrington said.

"What are you doing here, Tarrington?" Shane growled, trying to sound as annoyed as possible. "You're not welcome here."

"This isn't a social call," Tarrington replied. "Where is the man you know as Roman Brady?"

Shane feigned ignorance. "I thought you were all at the Bradys. Why would you think-"

"Search the house," Tarrington ordered, cutting Shane off.

"Now wait a minute!" Shane shouted. "This is private property. You need a warrant-" His words were cut off as the agents rushed forward. Two grabbed Shane and shoved him against a wall. He lost hold of his cane, which clattered against the wood floor as it fell.

Shane tried to break the grip of the men holding him, but he was not close to being strong enough.

"Tarrington, call off your dogs," Shane shouted, but Tarrington was busy giving instructions to the agents, who spread out throughout the house. One headed for the library, another for the kitchen, and two started for the stairs. They all drew their guns.

Shane's blood ran cold. Eve, Andrew, and Jeannie were upstairs.

"My kids are up there," Shane yelled, exhausting his breath. He struggled weakly, against the agents who held him back, but it was a futile effort. "Dammit, Tarrington," he gasped. "It's just my kids."

Tarrington turned and faced Shane. "Where is Roman Brady?"

"I don't know," Shane said. "He's not here."

From the upstairs, Shane heard Eve shriek and Jeannie start to wail. Fear for his children gave him a burst of adrenalin. He jerked his right arm free and brought his elbow back into the solar plexus of the ISA agent holding that side. The man doubled over with an "ooof."

It was not enough, though. The other agent slammed Shane against the wall so hard that his head swam.

"That was not very smart, Shane," Tarrington said. He motioned toward the library. "Take him in there and keep him there until we've finished the search."

The agents dragged Shane into the room and shoved him onto the couch. His chest was on fire, his heart was racing, and each breath was a struggle to capture some air. But he was less focused on himself than on his children. He heard Eve shout something from upstairs and started to rise, but the agent pushed him back.

"Bloody hell," Shane growled angrily. "Those are my kids up there."

"They won't be hurt. . . ." Tarrington entered the library as he spoke. "Provided you cooperate and tell me where we can find the man you knew as Roman Brady."

Shane shook his head. Not only did he have to stall to give Roman more time, but the last thing he was going to do was help Tarrington. "I'm not telling you a thing until I see I my children."

With a bit of an eye-roll, Tarrington nodded to one of the agents. A few minutes later, he heard footsteps on the staircase and Andrew rushed into the library. Eve came in behind him, carrying Jeannie.

"Daddy!" Andrew cried, racing forward.

Shane pulled him into a tight embrace. "It's okay," he said. Then he looked at Eve. "Are you okay?"

She gave a quick nod, but her eyes darted nervously from Tarrington to the agents.

"Your children are fine, Shane," Tarrington said. He turned to the same agent. "Take them to the kitchen and keep them there while ex-Captain Donovan and I continue our conversation."

Eve's eyes widened as she looked at Shane. "Dad?"

"It'll be fine," he assured her, trying to hold back his anger. "Would you do as they ask, sweetheart? It'll be best if you all go into the kitchen."

Hesitantly, Eve said, "Okay. . . . Come on, Andrew."

As Andrew looked up, confused, Shane forced a soft smile that belied the fury rising in him. "It's all right. Go with your sister."

Dutifully, Andrew followed Eve and Jeannie from the room. Once they were gone, Shane glared at Tarrington. The man had invaded his house and terrified his kids, and Shane had been helpless to stop him. His rage continued to build even as Tarrington faced Shane.

"So, now, why don't you tell me what I want to know?"

Shane shook his head and, in a low voice that barely hid his fury, he said, "If you think I'm going to do a bloody thing to help you find Roman, you're going to be sorely disappointed."


	414. Chapter 414

Sorry about the delay in posting. I was traveling and my only internet access was my phone, which would not allow me to upload new chapters.

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Kim watched Bo and Steve leave the market. The past few minutes had caused such a swirl of emotions. Fear for the man she had loved as her brother for the past few years. Fury at Tarrington and the ISA. Sorrow for Marlena. Joy that her real brother was home. And over all of that was the shock at the entire bizarre situation.

By the door, Roman was stomping back and forth in front of the door. "You'd think family loyalty would count for something." Marlena was trying to calm him down, but it did not seem to be working. After a few minutes, Caroline walked over, took Roman by the hand, and led him over to a table. She and Shawn began talking to him in quiet voices.

Meanwhile, Marlena walked slowly over to Kim and Kayla. Unable to keep the worry out of her voice, she asked, "Do you think Bo and Steve will find him?"

"I'm sure they will," Kim said. She thought about calling Shane to let him know what had happened, but she was reluctant to involve him. He would want to help his friend even though he was in no condition to do so.

Marlena looked out the corner of her eye toward the table where Roman was sitting. "He's . . . he's so angry. . . ."

"You can't blame him," Kayla said. "Under the circumstances. . . ."

"To him, someone took his life for all this time," Kim explained. "He doesn't know the . . . other Roman like we do." Kim sighed. "I don't even know what to call him, though I guess that's the least of our worries."

Across the room, Roman jumped up from the table. "I won't accept that, Pop," he said. "I don't care if he's been a saint while he's been here. He's a damn imposter, and that means he was probably working for DiMera."

Kim glanced at Kayla. In her mind, she remembered the time on the island and the way Stefano had made Roman do his bidding. There had even been a time when she thought he was going to kill her and Shane, but his subconscious prevented him from carrying out the order.

Kayla had already crossed the room. "You haven't been here, Roman," she said. "I know you're angry, but however this happened, he's not working for Stefano."

"You don't even know DiMera," Roman said sharply.

"Don't tell me what I don't know," Kayla shot back. "You weren't here when Stefano tried to take revenge on our family. Ro- He was just as much a target of Stefano's."

Kim nodded. "That's true. . . . And even before he thought he was you, when he had no memory at all, he was a good friend to this family."

Roman stomped a bit more. "I don't get it. . . . How could you all believe that he was me? No, I think I do understand. You wanted to believe. You wanted to believe I was alive and he did a number on you." He shook his head. "But what about the ISA? Didn't they check?" He paused and looked at Kim. "What about Shane? You all keep saying he's loyal to the ISA. Why didn't he check out that guy's story?" His voice lowered and he muttered, "Unless they were working together."

"That's not true," Kim said angrily. She was trying to be understanding, but she was tired of Roman's mistrust with Shane.

"So why didn't Shane investigate?" Roman crossed his arms defiantly. "Explain that, Kimmie?"

"Because there were a lot of other things happening," Kim snapped. "The day we found out who he was - or who we thought he was - was the day Andrew was born, and Shane was busy helping deliver our son." She thought about mentioning how they had been running from the KGB, but that would have just raised a lot of questions and fueled Roman's suspicions.

Kayla chose that moment to come to Kim's aid. "It's not Kim's fault or Shane's. We all believed it. He had your memories, Roman - things only you would know. Can't you see why that would convince us?"

"Fine," Roman snapped, though he hardly seemed appeased. "So you all accepted him. Well now you know otherwise and I'm going to get my life back. And I'm going to get to the bottom of this whole situation. You may want to believe he's some good guy, but there's more to this."

Kim sighed and looked at Marlena. Maybe with some time, Roman would start to see what the rest of them knew. Marlena's eyes met Kim's and they seemed to share Kim's resignation.

"Hey," Shawn said. "Let's cut it out with all this fighting. This is a family and we have something to celebrate. The entire Brady family is here, back in Salem. If that's not something to celebrate, I don't know what is."

Kim smiled at her father's excitement. She remembered the way he had suffered when they heard that Roman had died on that island. For a time, Kim had worried that her family would not survive. Bo had borne such guilt and Shawn had even said that he wished it had been Bo who died, not Roman.

"I think this deserves a toast," Shawn announced. He grinned gleefully. "I'd wait for Bo and Steve to come back, but I don't think I can wait. Let me get the good stuff." He headed off to where he kept his stash of Irish whiskey.

As they waited for him to return, Kayla stepped close to Kim. "I'm worried, Kimmie," she whispered. "What if they find him and the ISA finds them? What will they do?"

Kim had no answer. The past few months had left her with no idea what to believe when it came to the ISA. "I don't know, Kay."

"Maybe I should go and see if I can find Steve," she said.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Kim tried to think. "The last thing Steve would want is for you to get in trouble with the ISA." Bitterly, she added, "Don't think for a second that Tarrington wouldn't use that to get to Roman."

In the back of her mind, she realized that was what really worried her. Tarrington had shown that he was not above doing anything or using anyone to get what he wants. Kim just hoped that this crisis would end without anyone getting hurt.


	415. Chapter 415

Tarrington walked over to the tea set and poured himself a cup.

"I don't recall inviting you for tea," Shane said, making no attempt to keep the hostility out of his voice. He knew his anger was mostly cover for his embarrassment at being unable to do anything.

"I'm surprised at you," Tarrington replied. "Even in the most trying times, there is no point in letting go of basic civility." He took a sip of his tea and turned around to face Shane. "I do realize that I have not had the opportunity to check on your condition. It is good to see you on your feet."

Shane struggled not to roll his eyes and probably failed. "Your concern is duly noted. Don't expect anything more."

"Shane. . . ." Tarrington sounded like he was talking to a petulant child. "There is no need for this hostility. I was just trying to tell you I am glad you are recovering. I have never wished you physical harm."

Completely bewildered, Shane shook his head. "So I'm supposed to be grateful that you haven't wanted me killed? You're bloody off your rocker, Tarrington. You expect me to be polite. You just invaded my house and threatened my children, and that's after you set me up in Egypt and plan on sending me to prison. And now you want me to be a good host. If you want the royal treatment, go try the Salem Inn."

"I expected more from you, but then I presume you're a bit unhappy after Mr. Johnson's recent trip to Georgia," Tarrington said. "Don't look so surprised."

"You've been following Steve?"

Tarrington chuckled. "Actually, we were, but we lost him in South Carolina. It just happened that we had an informant keeping an eye on Sergeant Deakins. Mr. Johnson walked right into it."

"Leave Steve alone," Shane growled.

"How can I do that, old chap? If he keeps trying to involve himself in this matter, I can't ignore it." Tarrington took another sip from his tea. "Just like you involving yourself with this imposter."

Shane made a point to roll his eyes this time. "I told you he's not here."

"That seems to be the case," said a voice from the door. Shane looked past Tarrington to see an agent at the library entrance. "We've searched the entire house. It's just Donovan and the kids."

"What about the butler?" Tarrington asked.

Shane spoke up quickly. "He's running errands."

That elicited a laugh from Tarrington. "How convenient. But I should hardly be surprised. You always were a very quick thinker. And Simmons is quite the faithful servant." He turned to the agent. "Put out an APB on former Captain Donovan's car and for his butler. Then question Miss Donovan about how long it's been since the butler left."

"Leave Eve out of this," Shane snapped. "She's not part of this."

"You know I can't do that. If she was here when the imposter came, she is a witness." Tarrington nodded at the agent, who disappeared from view. For a few minutes, he said nothing, sipped at his tea, and studied Shane. "You can't help the man. Oh, I know you'll probably try; that's always been your weakness. You've never been able to give up on people. But we are going to find the imposter and bring him in. You should just accept that, but you have shown yourself to be quite bull-headed these past few months."

Shane wished he was stronger, so he could smack the smug expression from Tarrington's face. "I'm bull-headed because I won't let you send me to jail without a fight?"

"Because you won't accept that you have no way to fight," Tarrington said evenly. "The offer is still there, Shane. You know it's as good as you're going to do, so why do you persist in sending Johnson on these wild goose chases?" He paused. "But perhaps we will just have to deal with Johnson on our own." The threat was implicit, but clear.

A rush of adrenaline brought Shane to his feet. Gripping the arm of the couch with one hand, he pointed at Tarrington with the other. "Now you hear me. Leave Steve alone. He's not acting on my orders; I've told him to let the soldiers be."

"Obviously not hard enough," Tarrington replied. "But Johnson is easy enough to remove from the picture."

Shane could tell that Tarrington was not just blowing smoke. "Look . . . I already told Steve that I'm not calling the soldiers to testify. Whatever he does or says to them . . . it won't change a bloody thing."

Tarrington raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"I swear," Shane said. "Even if the mission was all a set-up, I'm not going to put any of the ODA members on the stand to say it. I know what would happen to them."

"Perhaps. . . ." Tarrington pursed his lips and looked like he was thinking hard.

"I'm telling you, Tarrington. Let Steve do what he wants. All he'll find out is what we already know, and nobody he talks to is ever going to testify. So just leave him alone. He's been through enough."

Tarrington finally nodded. "Very well. Johnson can continue his little game. However, as long as he insists on pursuing the ODA, I will have to keep him under surveillance. Otherwise, the military will lodge a complaint about its members being harassed."

Shane doubted that Deakins had complained. "I thought you promised Steve to back off." Shane grinned as he remembered Steve's story about trapping the ISA agents.

"We gave him a few days reprieve," Tarrington said.

"How magnanimous of you." Shane did not hide his sarcasm.

They were interrupted by the return of the ISA agent. Tarrington turned to face the man. "Did Miss Donovan cooperate."

"Yes," the agent said.

Shane's eyes narrowed in anger. "If you did anything to her, I'll-"

"We didn't do anything to that little hellcat," the agent said. "She told us the butler left more than an hour ago. That was after engaged in a lengthy commentary about my parentage."

_Good for Eve_, Shane thought. An hour would have been well-before Roman showed up at the house. "See, Tarrington, I told you you're completely off the mark."

Tarrington's smug facade seemed to falter and he looked momentarily perturbed. "Or she's just doing what she's been ordered."

Shane had to laugh at the thought of Eve ever taking orders. "I think you know my daughter well enough to know she has a mind of her own. Kind of like Steve Johnson."

Tarrington turned back to Shane. "I thought that issue was resolved."

"If you leave Steve alone, it is," Shane said.

"I said we won't remove him. We will continue to monitor his actions." Tarrington raised the teacup to his lips once more, drank, and then placed the cup and saucer on the platter. "However, if he steps out of line, we may have to reconsider matters. You must understand that. So perhaps, as you seem to be so concerned about everyone else . . . perhaps you should give Mr. Johnson a warning-"

"A warning about what?"

Shane jerked his head way from Tarrington at the sound of Steve's voice. He was standing in the doorway and glaring at Tarrington.

"Steve," Shane said. "Why don't you come in? We were just discussing you."


	416. Chapter 416

Steve walked slowly into the room. After leaving the fish market, he and Bo had split up. Bo had gone to check Abe's and Isabella's, while Steve did a drive by of Marlena's. The ISA was there, so Steve had to wait until they left. But his check of the place turned up no sign of Roman - or whatever the were going to call the dude now. Then, having no other idea where Roman might have gone, Steve remembered another time he had searched for the man and remembered who he had called for help. So Steve had decided to check out Shane's.

Obviously, the ISA had the same idea.

"So what's this warning I need?" he asked Tarrington. "I thought we got this all settled in our little living room conversation."

Tarrington did not respond, so Steve continued to speak.

"Oh, let me guess. . . . The ISA's gone back on its word. You never intended to leave me alone." He mimed shooting a pool cue. "I got it, didn't I? Eight ball in the corner pocket."

"Ah . . . returning to your former career ambitions," Tarrington said, his voice dripping with arrogance.

"You're a regular comedian," Steve shot back. "When you give up this head honcho spy bit, you should head to late-night TV. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I was cannon fodder for the ISA; nothing more than a 'secondary objective.'"

Tarrington returned to being tight-lipped.

"Okay, so it's the silent treatment." Steve circled Tarrington. "I'm really good at that one too. Though Shane has a bit of trouble keeping his mouth shut."

"Steve." The caution was plain in Shane's voice.

Before Steve could respond, Tarrington spoke. "I have business to attend to, Shane. Feel free to fill Mr. Johnson in on our conversation. He should be told that his efforts are useless." Tarrington glanced at Steve. "You haven't seen the false Roman Brady since earlier, have you?"

Steve responded with a maniacal grin. "Of course I did. He's already halfway to Canada by now. I bet if you leave right now, you might manage to get him before he hits the border."

Tarrington's lip curled into a bit of snarl, but he did not reply to Steve. "Shane . . . I'll leave you to explain our new agreement." With that, he turned and left the room, leaving Steve and Shane alone.

Neither said a word until they heard other voices in the foyer. Then Eve entered the library. She was carrying the baby and followed by a very subdued, wide-eyed Andrew.

"Are you okay?" Shane asked. He was gripping onto the arm of the couch with one hand and, to Steve's eyes, seemed a little unsteady.

Eve nodded. "We're okay. They kept asking about Roman . . . I mean, the man we thought was Roman? I didn't really understand all that, but they said he wasn't Roman."

"It's a long story," Steve said, though his eyes were on Shane, whose entire body seemed to sag with relief. That was when Steve realized how much whatever had happened with Tarrington had taken out of Shane.

"It was scary, Daddy." Andrew tugged on the leg of Shane's pants. "Why did those bad men want Uncle Roman?"

Shane gave Steve a quick glance, then said, "It's okay, Andrew. Don't worry about Uncle Roman. He's just fine." To Eve, he added, "That was good thinking, darling . . . telling them Simmons left early."

That told Steve what he was wondering. "So Roman was here?"

Something flashed in Shane's eyes, but he spoke to Eve first. "Eve, would you take your brother and sister into the kitchen?"

"Why does this sound so familiar?" Eve muttered, rolling her eyes. "Come on, squirt. I'm sure those men didn't eat all the cookies."

After they walked out, Steve waited for Shane to sink heavily onto the couch. _Dude looks exhausted_, Steve thought, then reminded himself that it had only been a few weeks since Shane had been shot.

"So I guess Roman's come and gone." Shane's silence served as confirmation, so Steve asked, "So you want to tell me 'bout your talk with Tarrington?"

Shane looked up. "They had a man on Deakins, so they know all about your little trip."

_Damn._ Steve spun around and slammed his palm down on a bookshelf. After everything he had done to keep the ISA from finding out.

"You did manage to lose your tail in Charleston," Shane said.

"Great," Steve muttered. "Like that did any good. . . . So what else did he say?"

Shane sighed. "He threatened to have you 'removed.'" Before Steve could react, Shane raised a hand. "I told him it won't matter, because I'm not having any of the soldiers testify. So you can go hunt down soldiers to your heart's content; it won't make any difference. So he agreed. I won't use the soldiers and he won't do anything to you."

"Well that was a stupid promise," Steve snapped. He felt a surge of anger. After what he had managed to find out, he still had leads to pursue. And now Shane was cutting him off at the knees. "I just got Nowicki to agree to talk to me, and I'm heading to New York to meet with him. Who knows what he's going to give us? He might blow the lid off the ISA's case."

"And how does that evidence come into court?" Shane said, each word sounding as if it came with effort. "The only evidence that would help is classified and the only way to bring it in would be to call someone to testify who would go to jail for talking. I thought your experience with Deakins' family made you understand that."

Steve's frustration was beginning to overwhelm him. "I did. . . . It did. . . . But I'm not giving up."

"Steve-"

"No, Donovan, don't 'Steve' me." Steve paced impatiently in front of the doorway. "I'm not giving up on this. There has to be something - some evidence or some witness out there - that's gonna give us what we need. I'm not just dropping things because you made some deal with the devil."

"Dammit, Steve. I made that deal to protect you; can't you see that?" Shane leaned forward on the couch. "I know you want to help, but, after everything you've been through, don't throw away your life for nothing."

Steve shook his head. "If you've made your deal, I've got nothing to worry about."_ That sounds like ISA logic_, Steve thought. "So who am I hurting?"

"We both know what the ISA's word is worth," Shane said.

Steve could tell it was hard for Shane to admit that they could not trust the ISA. But that meant little in the end, didn't it?

"Their word's worth nothing, but they can count on you to keep yours," Steve pointed out. "That makes a lot of sense."

"That's enough," Shane said evenly. "There's no further point belaboring this. You may not agree or even understand, but I'm not going to explain myself again. I'd just like you to think about what you're risking. The ISA's going to have you under surveillance, so let's say you do come up with some smoking gun. . . . Do you really think Tarrington's going to let you run with it? How do you even know this little trip of yours isn't a set up?"

Steve started to respond, but then hesitated. _Could it be a set-up_? He thought about it for a moment, but then shook his head. He believed Deakins could be trusted. "It's no set-up," Steve insisted. "Deakins wouldn't do that."

"So you're insistent on doing this?" Shane asked, obviously resigned to what he knew would be Steve's answer.

"That's right," Steve said.

Shane waved his hand. "So, go. Obviously, I'm not going to change your bloody mind."

As Steve turned and headed for the door, still frustrated at Shane's refusal to fight, he heard Shane say one more thing.

"Steve . . . just . . . just be careful."


	417. Chapter 417

"To my son, Roman, who has finally returned to his family."

Kayla lifted her small glass of Irish whiskey to her father's words. She could hear the emotion in his voice and the happiness shining in his eyes. Caroline smiled beside him, but Kayla could read the worry in her mother's eyes. It was the same worry she saw in Kim and Marlena. And the same one she felt in her heart.

Dutifully sipping her whiskey, Kayla watched Shawn and Roman down their glasses. She had been raised on the custom of toasting important events with a "wee drop of the good stuff" as her father used to say. But she had never quite learned to enjoy it the way her father and brothers did.

"Thanks, Pop," Roman said as he put his glass down. He looked at the rest of the group standing there. "I can't tell you what it means to finally be home with my family and be accepted by them."

Kayla did not miss the hint of accusation in Roman's last words. She could not really blame him for feeling betrayed, but she hoped he would get past it sooner rather than later.

"Roman," Kim spoke softly. "I hope you know that we love you. It was all just such a shock when you came back."

Kayla nodded in agreement with her sister. "I know you're upset with us, but we never meant to hurt you."

Shawn threw his arm around his oldest son. "Don't be so hard on your sisters. Now that we have those test results, we can just enjoy having the whole family back together."

Roman took a deep breath and smiled. "You're right, Pop." He looked around the Fish Market. "It's just like I remembered it. I guess at least some things stayed the same."

Shawn laughed. "You know me, son. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. This market has kept this family going for a long time, no reason to change now."

"I know, Pop. We have a lot of good memories here."

As Shawn and Roman continued their conversation about old times, Kayla slipped away from them and moved towards the front of the market. She wondered if Steve and Bo had found . . . him.

She felt somebody behind her and turned to see that Kim and Marlena had joined her. She smiled sympathetically at Marlena.

"I know you're worried about him too, but Steve and Bo will help him. I know they will."

Marlena nodded. "I just can't imagine how alone and devastated he must be feeling. Before the tests came back, he wouldn't even contemplate that he might not be Roman Brady." She sighed softly. "I'm terrified of what he might do."

Kim's eyes widened slightly. "You don't think he'd do anything . . . crazy, do you?"

Kayla felt her own fear rise as Marlena shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," Marlena said sadly. "I know he would never hurt anybody else, but I'm afraid of what he might do to himself."

Turning and looking out the window, Kayla said yet-another prayer for Steve and Bo to find him. Her thoughts were interrupted by her mother's soft voice.

"We just have to have faith that God will protect him," Caroline said quietly.

Kayla smiled as her mother put her arm around Marlena's shoulders, grateful that her mother seemed to understand Marlena's confusion and concern. Kayla supposed that made some sense. The circumstances had been different, but Caroline certainly knew what it felt to care about two men who were in constant conflict.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kayla saw Roman watching them, a small scowl on his face. It was obvious that he was not happy with the reactions of wife, sisters, and mother. As she watched, Roman stalked to the front of the market as Shawn trailed behind.

"Let me guess," Roman said bitterly. "You're all over here worrying about that imposter again."

"Roman-" Marlena began.

"No, Doc." Roman cut her off. "I've been hearing the same thing since I got back. I thought things would change with those DNA tests, but nothing has changed at all. He played you all for years and you still worry about him."

"He didn't play us, son." Shawn spoke slowly but firmly. "Whoever he is, he was a member of this family for five years."

"Whoever he is," Roman scoffed. "The bastard doesn't even have a name. You don't know who he is."

This time Caroline spoke. "He does have a name. Maybe it's not his true name, but it was the name he chose before . . . well, before he believed he was Roman."

Marlena nodded. "He used the name John Black then."

Kayla had heard the story, but had never known the man as John Black. By the time she had returned to Salem, John had been revealed to be Roman Brady. She vaguely recalled how nervous she had been to see Roman for the first time with his new face, but she had immediately warmed to the man as soon as she had met him.

"That's right." Caroline nodded. "And until he has another name, then that's what we should call him."

"I don't care what you call him." Roman sneered. "I just want him found and I want answers about why he took over my life."

The conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone. Stepping quickly to the front counter, Caroline answered, "Brady Fish Market."

Kayla watched as her mother's eyes widened as Caroline listened to whoever was on the other end. After a few moments, she held the phone towards Marlena and said, "It's for you. It's . . . it's John."

Relief swept through Kayla just knowing that John was still okay. Marlena stepped quickly towards the phone, only to be stopped by Roman grabbing her arm.

"Find out where he is." Roman's voice was grim. "We need to contact the ISA immediately and tell them his location."

Marlena glared at Roman. "I won't do that and you know it."

"Then you aren't taking that phone call."

Kayla stepped forward, putting herself between Roman and Marlena. "Roman, please. You need to let Marlena talk to John. I know you're upset and you don't understand, but you need to trust her . . . and us."

"Kayla's right," Kim said, moving beside Kayla. "Just let her talk to him. You'll never get your answers if he just disappears or . . . worse."

Roman stared as his sisters for a moment, then removed his hand from Marlena's arm. "Fine. Talk to him. But I want to know everything he says."

Marlena did not respond. Instead, she just took the phone from Caroline. Kayla listened to Marlena's half of the conversation, but it was clear she was trying to avoid giving any information away in her answers, which consisted mostly of "yes," "no," and "I understand."

After just a few moments, Marlena hung up the phone. Kayla could see her take a deep breath and try to compose herself before she turned back to face the rest of them.

"So, where the hell is he?" Roman demanded to know when Marlena turned around.

"I don't know," Marlena said calmly. She turned to the rest of the Bradys. "He's safe for the moment though. He's pretty upset as you can imagine."

Kayla breathed a sigh of relief and saw similar reactions from her parents and sister.

"He wants me to meet him," Marlena continued. "I told him I would."

Roman exploded. "You did what? Uh uh, no way, Doc. You're not going anywhere near that man."

"I know you don't like this, Roman." Marlena stepped towards her husband. "But you have to trust me. I know that John would never hurt me. He's in trouble and he needs help." She took a deep breath. "And I'm going to help him whether you like it or not."

"Let her go, Roman," Kim pleaded with her brother. Kayla looked at Roman and nodded in agreement with Kim.

Roman glared, but then offered a stiff nod and stepped out of the way. Marlena quickly gathered her things and headed for the door.

"Marlena," Caroline called just before Marlena left. "Please let him know we are on his side. We just want him to be safe."

Marlena nodded and left. As soon as the door shut behind her, Roman let out a yell and hurled a chair across the room.

Kayla stepped quickly toward her brother. "It's going to be okay, Roman. Just let Marlena talk to John. You know that she'll do the right thing. The best thing to do is just let things calm down a bit."

Roman looked and Kayla and then chuckled slightly. "Some things really don't change, do they, Sis?"

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked, more than a little confused by her brother's change in demeanor.

"You were always the 'fixer,'" he said. "Whenever I'd get upset and fly off the handle, you'd step in and try to fix it."

Kayla smiled. "I guess it's easy to fall back into old roles, huh? Somebody has to fix things now that my brother the hothead has returned."

That comment got a laugh from the entire family. The Roman looked at Kim. "We've got the hothead and the fixer. But you were always quiet and avoided confrontation. What happened to that?"

Kim smiled, but Kayla saw the shadow that crossed her sister's face. So many of Kim's secrets had been revealed after Roman "died." Kim just shrugged and said, "I guess that's just my counselor training overriding old habits."

Roman took a deep breath and then put his arms around his sisters. "I still don't know that I agree with you, but I guess I have no choice but to wait and see what happens after Marlena sees . . . John."

Kayla breathed a sigh of relief at her brother's acquiescence. Then she heard the sound of the door opening and looked quickly towards it. Her relief increased when she saw her husband walk in the door.

"Steve," she called out as she ran forward and threw her arms around him.

"Easy, baby." He kissed her and smiled. "I wasn't gone that long." He looked around the room. "Where's Marlena?"

"She went to meet John," Kim said, hearing Steve's question. "He called here. Apparently he's safe, but Marlena is going to try and help him."

Steve looked confused. "John?"

"We decided that until we know otherwise, we should call . . . him, John Black." Caroline explained.

"Right." Steve nodded. "I'm glad he called here. He must have got some separation from the ISA."

"What do you mean?" Roman asked suspiciously.

Steve looked at Kayla, clearly unsure if he should say anything in front of her brother. Kayla nodded, knowing that keeping information from Roman was the best way to make him change his mind about trusting Marlena.

"Apparently, he stopped by Shane's house, just a few minutes ahead of the ISA. Shane got him out of there before the ISA arrived and if . . . John felt secure enough to call here, he must feel safe for the moment."

"So Shane helped him escape?" Roman was clearly angry again. "Why am I not suprised?"

"Stop it, Roman," Kim said sharply. Her tone changed to worry as she turned to Steve. "The ISA was at the house? What happened?"

"From what I can tell, they just searched the place. Tarrington was still there when I got there." Steve offered a humorless grin. "He didn't stay long afterwards though. Sometimes, I think that guy just doesn't like me."

"I can't imagine why," Roman said snidely.

Not wanting another fight to break out, Kayla pulled Steve to the back of the room before he could respond to Roman's remark.

"Your brother doesn't seem to like me all that much either, baby," Steve said, still eyeing the pacing Roman.

"Well, I love you and that's all that matters," Kayla replied.

Steve smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "You might not love me so much when I tell you what I need to tell you."

"What?" Kayla said, bracing herself.

"I need to get out of town tonight, Sweetness. I need to get to New York while the getting is good."

Kayla was afraid she knew that that meant. "This is about the ISA again, isn't it?"

Steve nodded. "I need to stay a step ahead of them if I can. If I leave tonight, it might catch them off guard a bit."

"How am I supposed to let you go when I know the ISA is after you?" Kayla asked, feeling the fear grow.

"The ISA isn't after me, baby. They're just keeping an eye on me. They know it's too big of a risk to try and grab me. They just want to know what I'm up to." Steve smiled. "And I don't plan on letting them get that information easily."

"It's not a game, Steve."

"That's exactly what it is, Kayla." Steve looked into her eyes. "Right now, it's a game of cat-and-mouse. Lucky for me, the ISA thinks your ol' one-eyed tomcat is the mouse."

Kayla shook her head. "I still don't like it."

"I know you don't. But I'll only be gone a few days, I promise. You'll have all the information you need to contact me and Shane knows about the trip too." He pulled her close. "Nothing is going to happen to me, Kayla. I promise."

Closing her eyes and leaning into his chest, Kayla softly said, "I'm holding you to that promise, Mr. Johnson."

"I know, baby." Steve kissed the top of her head. "I know."


	418. Chapter 418

The ride home was a mix of confusion, elation, sadness, and fear, as Kim tried to deal with the day's events. Elation at the idea that her brother had returned, sadness at what that meant for Marlena and the man she had loved as her brother for so many years, and fear about what the ISA had done to her family. Steve had assured her that everyone at the house was fine, so Kim had forced herself to stay a little longer with her parents until they got news of Roman-

_John_, she reminded herself. _We're calling him John. _Shawn and Caroline had decided that they should all call the man John Black, the name he had used when he first arrived in Salem.

So Kim had remaing at the market, but the entire time, she kept thinking about her children. Had the ISA traumatized Andrew yet again? She thought about all the times he worried about the "bad men" after Shane's arrest. And Jeannie? She was just a baby. Who had taken care of her when the ISA invaded the house?

After a little while of trying to share everyone's worry over John, Kim had finally given up. It was just after sunset when Kim told them that she needed to go home and check on her family. She had nearly raced out the door and she suspected she had made the drive from the fish market to Lakeshore Drive in record time.

She raced up the front steps and unlocked the door. She was surprised to find the lights off in the foyer.

Almost immediately, she heard Eve's voice. "Kim, are you all right?"

Taken aback by what sounded like concern in Eve's voice, Kim looked at the girl in a bit of confusion. "Of course. Are you?" she asked.

"Yeah," Eve said, sounding a little surprised. "I'm fine. And before you ask, Andrew and Jeannie are okay."

A wave of relief flooded Kim. "Oh thank god. Tell me what happened. Steve said the ISA came here."

Eve grabbed Kim's hand and pulled her toward the hallway. As Kim started to protest, Eve said, "Dad's asleep in the library. Collapsed more like it. . . . I don't want to wake him."

Kim nodded and followed Eve until they reached the end of the corridor.

Stopping, Eve said, "So I guess you heard." She did not wait for a response. "Tarrington and his goons showed up, but I didn't let them touch Andrew and Jeannie. They tried to get Andrew to say if he saw Uncle Roman, but I told them to go to hell and leave Andrew alone."

Kim smiled at the note of triumph in Eve's voice. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "Your brother and sister are lucky to have you."

Eve blushed. "I . . . I just didn't want them to be too scared. I tried to tell Andrew not to worry, but he was pretty scared. I think he'll be okay, though. Dad talked to him a little after Uncle Steve left."

"And your Dad?" Kim asked.

Eve sighed. "I think he's okay. He was pretty upset. And he was worried about Simmons until he got back."

"Got back?" Kim was confused. "What does Simmons have to do with anything?"

"Dad had him get Roman out of here." Eve's voice rose. "And what's going on with that? Why is the ISA looking for Roman?"

Kim debated answering, but the truth was already out there. The entire Salem PD now knew about John, and word would spread like wildfire. "Let me try to explain," Kim said. She thought for a minute, but every way she described it in her head sounded so crazy that she finally just came right and said it. "The man you know as Roman Brady isn't Roman. My real brother is alive and has come back to Salem."

Eve's eyes nearly doubled in size.

"We just got the DNA test results today, and the ISA tried to arrest the man you know as Roman," Kim added. "So I guess he came here and Shane helped him."

Eve nodded slowly, before she said, "Your family must be so upset. . . . How are Shawn and Caroline handling it? This must be so hard for them."

It took a moment for Kim to get over her shock at Eve's concern for her parents, but then she remembered that brief period of time before Shane disappeared on the Jericho mission when Eve really seemed to bond with the Brady family. For a time, Eve had seemed to view Kim's parents as her own grandparents.

"It is, Eve. . . . Thank you." Kim reached out and gave Eve a hug. "It's hard for all of us, but it's wonderful that you care." Eve blushed again and looked away. Deciding not to push things further, Kim said, "I'm going to go check on your father and see how he's doing." Letting go of Eve, Kim headed back down the hall to the library.

The room was mostly dark, with just a low lamp in the corner shedding any light into the room. Kim walked slowly and quietly to the couch. Shane was sleeping peacefully and Kim could not help but remember watching a much-younger Shane sleeping on the couch in her apartment living room, back at a time when they were just falling in love. Maybe Shane had a few more lines around his eyes and some more streaks of gray in his hair, but she could still see the young secret agent who had stolen her heart.

Perhaps sensing her presence, Shane's eyes fluttered for a moment and then opened. It seemed to take him a moment to come fully awake.

"Kim," he asked, sounding a little disoriented. He looked around as if he was trying to figure out where he was.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," she said lightly. Shane grimaced noticeably as he forced himself to a seated position.

Kim looked around the room. "Do you need a pain pill?" she asked.

Shane studied the clock and shook his head. "No, I think I'm good for another . . . 20 or 30 minutes, I think." He ran his hands over his face and then shook his head. "I can't believe I fell asleep."

'It sounds like things got rough with the ISA," Kim said. "It probably took a lot out of you."

She could see the color rise in Shane's cheeks and he reached for his cane. With a little bit of effort, he rose to his feet and took a few steps toward the desk. "You didn't see them. Tarrington just walked in here like he owned the place. . . ."

Kim realized that the flush in his cheeks was mostly shame. "Everyone's safe, Shane. The kids are fine and you helped John get away."

"John?" Shane's eyes narrowed.

"My folks decided that would be the best way to keep them separate. The real Roman is 'Roman' and the other Roman, we're going to go back to calling him 'John Black.'"

Shane nodded slightly as he ran his hand along the edge of the desk, probably a way to avoid looking her in the eye. "Have they found him?"

"I don't think so," Kim said. "At least, all that happened is he called Marlena and she went to meet him. We kept Roman from following."

"I guess being pushed around by a few ISA agents isn't much compared to what Roman, I mean, John is going through." Shane ran the hand not clutching the cane through his hair. "I could throttle Tarringon right now."

Kim chuckled. "Join the club. He hasn't made a lot of friends in this family. . . . well, except for my newly returned big brother. He still seems to think the ISA walks on water."

"And Marlena?" Shane asked.

"She's struggling. I can't really imagine how she's feeling." Kim tried to picture herself in such a situation. The closest thing in her experience had been when Shane had returned with amnesia, Kim had been in a relationship with Cal, but there was no conflict, no debate in her mind, about who she loved. But Marlena was faced with two men, with identical memories, and long histories of loving her. Even if the man she had loved for the past several years was not Roman, Marlena had loved him as if he were. Those feelings did not just disappear overnight.

"Kim?"

She looked up to see Shane watching her.

"You seem to have checked out for a minute," he said.

"Sorry." She blushed a little. "I was thinking about when you came back after we thought you were dead. I may have been with Cal, but my heart was yours the moment you stepped back into my life. I know it's not the same thing that Marlena's going through, but I can't help myself from remembering that."

Shane smiled. "I remember how insistent you were that I'd get my memory back and everything would return to how it was. And I remember how I found myself falling in love with you all over again."

Kim found herself unable to look away from him, and she shivered under his gaze. But before she said anything, he looked away.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I promised not to push."

_You did_, she thought. _Then why am I disappointed_?

The thought had barely crossed her mind when it was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Because he was already standing at the desk, Shane picked it up. He listened for a moment, then held out the receiver to Kim.

"It's Caroline."

"Maybe she has news on John," Kim said, rushing forward. She grabbed the phone and held it to her ear. "Mama, have you heard anything?"

"Yes, dear. Everything's fine. Marlena found him and they've agreed to go back to her house. The ISA's going to let Marlena work with him to find out what happened." Relief swept through Kim, as Caroline asked, "Is everything okay there?"

"Yes, Mama," Kim said. "The kids are okay. Shane and Eve made sure nothing happened." She glanced over at Shane, who was right beside her and watching her anxiously. "Listen, I'd better go. Shane will want to know the news."

She hung up the phone and turned to Shane. "He's okay. The ISA is backing off."

Kim saw her own relief reflected in his face. As all of the fear that had built over the day seemed to flood out of her, she sagged against him. He wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and held her close.

They stayed like that for a moment, Kim feeling his comforting strength, which was there despite his injuries. Then, still pressed close to him, she looked up into his eyes and saw the love and concern in them.

"Shane. . . ." she said, her voice hesitant.

He gave her a soft smile. "I'm sorry. . . I said I wouldn't push." But she noticed he did not lower his arm or pull away.

Nor did she.

Kim felt her pulse quicken and she swallowed nervously. Her eyes remained locked on his. And a tiny voice in the back of her head begged him to push. Before she even realized it, she had raised a hand, cupped the back of his head, and pulled him toward her.

Her eyes closed as their lips touched, then pulled away, and then met again. The kiss was soft and tentative, but it was intoxicating and caused Kim to moan softly, which only opened her mouth even more to him. Her own tongue slid beneath his and she savored the taste of him.

The kiss was heady and mesmerizing, and Kim felt dizzy as they finally broke apart. Shane's eyes opened and she saw the same love again, now coupled with longing and desire.

_You want this_, she said to herself, but another voice whispered, _But what will happen tomorrow_?

The uncertainty returned and Kim felt a guilty smile cross her face. She pulled her hand from his head and stepped back, letting Shane's arm fall from her shoulders.

"I. . . ."

She had no idea what came next. _I'm sorry. I love you. I want you. I'm confused._

But Shane just gave a small nod of his head. "It's okay," he said, but she detected an undercurrent of frustration that he tried, but failed to hide.

Kim felt a flash of guilt as she backed away, but she told herself she needed to be sure. That the day had been an emotional roller-coaster only made her distrust her emotions. As the space between her and Shane grew, she said, "I'm . . . I'd better check on Andrew and Jeannie." Then, with a soft smile, she said, "Goodnight, Shane."

He did not move away from the desk as she turned for the door, but she heard him behind her. "Goodnight, Kimberly. . . . I love you."


	419. Chapter 419

Steve checked his watch and smiled as he took a seat on the subway headed for Manhattan. He still had plenty of time to make it to the bar to meet Nowicki.

He had been in New York City for two days, and could hardly wait to return to Salem. Steve had spent time in large cities before. Heck, he had grown up in Los Angeles. But he would never get used to the crowds in New York.

Not that they did not serve a purpose at times. Steve had found the crowds exceedingly useful in losing his ISA tail that evening.

Before leaving Salem, Steve had contacted an old Merchant Marine pal living in New York. Tony had quickly agreed to let Steve stay with him. Like a good friend, he had not asked any questions about why Steve was coming to New York.

After arriving and making his way to Tony's apartment, Steve had set out to find his ISA watchers. To that end, he had spent most of the previous day roaming around the city. He had played the part of the tourist, visiting Central Park, the Empire State Building, and the Statue of Liberty.

The crowds had made it difficult to spot a tail, but Steve had found enough quiet spots to finally identify the men following him. Having confirmed they were there, Steve had spent the evening with Tony at a local pizza place.

Although the visit to Tony's had been just a cover, Steve had enjoyed his time catching up with his old shipmate. Tony had served with Bo and Steve in Stockholm, and had been one of the people Bo had contacted after Steve's "death."

After they had discussed Steve's return from the dead, the evening had been spent eating authentic New York pizza and drinking pitchers of beer. They had reminisced about life at sea and challenged each other to games of pool and darts.

Several hours later, the two had made their way back to Tony's apartment. Even in his impaired state, Steve had picked up on the ISA tail. He had chuckled, wondering if they got paid overtime for following his drunken ass around.

When they had reached Tony's apartment, and in spite of the late hour, Steve had called Kayla. She had chided him gently for his obvious intoxication, but had clearly been relieved to hear from him.

Steve shook his head as he thought about the previous night and the call to his wife. There was a time when he would have never believed he would ever be happy to be checking in with someone. But Kayla had changed all that. Knowing she loved him and worried about him made him want to call and reassure her.

His call home had earned him some ribbing from Tony, but Steve had simply pointed out that if Tony had a woman as wonderful as Kayla, he would have been just as happy to check in too. Tony had been unable to argue with that, and they had both more-or-less passed out at that point.

Now, a day later, Steve was thankful he was feeling no ill effects from the previous night. The last thing he needed was to be off his game right now.

At that thought, Steve felt the subway car slow slightly as the first stop in lower Manhattan was announced. Steve remained casual as he felt the car come to a stop and the doors opened. Counting softly in his head, Steve waited until the last possible moment before jumping up and out the doors, barely avoiding having them slam shut on him.

Looking up and down the platform, Steve checked carefully for anyone else who might have jumped off. He did not see anyone, but the crowds made it impossible to be sure. It did not really matter, though; this was only his first step.

Moving quickly, Steve placed himself in the middle of the crowd heading up to the street. About halfway up, he ducked left through an archway that took him to another subway platform where a train was about to depart.

Without hesitating, Steve jumped on the train. He kept a close eye on the adjoining cars to see if he had been followed. Again, he did not see anyone.

Steve followed this pattern or another hour. He randomly got on and off the subway, always watching for his ISA friends.

When he was finally convinced that he had lost them, Steve exited to the street and hailed a cab. Still not taking any chances, he had the cab drop him a few blocks from the bar where he was supposed to meet Nowicki.

Only after circling around several times, did Steve finally approach the door to the bar called "The Three Kings." Once he entered, Steve walked directly to the bar and ordered a beer. Using the mirrors behind the bar, Steve studied the room, finally spotting Nowicki at a booth in a back corner.

Picking up his beer, Steve walked towards Nowicki. He kept his eye on the other customers, trying to see if anybody was a little too interested in his movements, but nobody seemed to be paying any attention to him at all.

Deciding he had done all he could, Steve walked to Nowicki's booth and without a word, sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"Nice of you to finally show up." Nowicki barely looked up from the magazine he had been pretending to read.

"Sorry about that," Steve said. "I had to take the long way around. I didn't want my friends to crash our party."

Nowicki smirked at that. "I know the feeling." He gave Steve a hard glare. "Did you manage to ditch them?"

Steve nodded and returned the glare. "How about you? You sure none of your friends are here?"

Nowicki flashed Steve a smug smile. "Don't worry. I know how to deal with potential party crashers."

"Good." Steve took another drink from his beer. "So what brings you do New York?"

Nowicki did not answer at first. Instead, he waived the waitress over and ordered a scotch and soda for himself and a beer for Steve.

When the waitress left, Nowicki polished off the drink in front of him. "Officially, I'm here to see my sister's new baby. What about you?"

Steve leaned back and smiled. "Officially, I'm here visiting an old friend from my Merchant Marine days."

"What about unofficially?" Nowicki asked.

Before Steve could answer, the waitress returned with their drinks. After she left, Steve leaned forward. "Unofficially, you know exactly why I'm here. I need your help to get Donovan off the hook."

Nowicki avoided Steve's eye for the moment and asked in a low tone, "How's Donovan doing?"

"He's recovering pretty well," Steve said. "But having these bogus charges hanging over his head isn't helping anything." He eyed Nowicki. "I'm hoping you can help me change that."

Nowicki lifted his glass, drained his drink, and then looked Steve straight in the eye. "I know what you're here for, Johnson, but I only agreed to meet you for one reason - to tell you to leave me and my men alone. We can't help you. No one can."


	420. Chapter 420

Kayla knocked softly on the door to Kim's office. As she waited for an answer, she looked again at the newspaper in her hand.

"Damn that woman," Kayla muttered under her breath.

After a moment, she heard Kim's call, "Come in." Kayla opened the door and saw Kim sitting at her desk, clearly upset. As she entered the room, she could see that Kim also had a copy of the Chronicle.

"I guess you've already seen this." Kayla gestured to the paper she carried.

Kim nodded. "Another hatchet job by Rachel Knight. You have no idea how much I despise that woman."

"Oh, I think I do." Kayla took a seat in the chair opposite Kim's desk. "I just feel so bad for Eve right now. She doesn't deserve this."

"No," Kim agreed. "She doesn't. We knew it was coming, but I guess I was holding out hope that that woman would have some small sense of decency."

_Not likely_, Kayla thought to herself. The lead story in the Chronicle that morning had been an expose about Eve under the guise of telling the "truth" about Shane Donovan. Rachel Knight had made Eve's past out to be as sordid as possible, and had done her best to paint Shane as the man responsible for his daughter's transgressions.

"Have you talked to Eve yet?" Kayla asked.

Kim shook her head. "I tried to call Wings, but Julie said that Eve took off when she saw the article. Then I called the house, but Simmons said Eve wasn't there and Shane was getting cleaned up after his physical therapy."

"So Shane doesn't know yet either?"

"I don't think so," Kim said. "I'll try to call again a little later. Julie said she would call me if she heard from Eve."

"I'm sure she just needed some time to herself." Kayla offered Kim an encouraging smile. "We both know that Eve is a lot tougher than she seems. She's had her past drudged up before and has always gotten past it."

"I know." Kim ran her hand across her forehead. "I just wish there would come a time when this family wasn't always having to get past one thing or another."

Kayla could not disagree with her sister there. Deciding to change the subject, she asked, "Have you talked to Marlena recently? Is there anything new with Roman and John?"

Kim shook her head. "We spoke briefly yesterday, but there's really nothing new. Roman still isn't happy about her helping John, and John is feeling completely lost."

"Have you seen him?"

Kim again shook her head. "No. I guess he was at the house yesterday, but he left before I got home." She shrugged. "I think he feels more comfortable around Shane than anyone else right now."

"I guess I can't blame him for that," Kayla replied. "I miss John, but I don't want to push him. I just don't know what to do for him right now."

"I know how you feel, sis." Kim sighed. "I'm just hoping that things will get a little better with time."

"Maybe when Steve gets back, I'll invite John over for dinner," Kayla said, not really thinking.

"Gets back?" Kim raised a brow. "Where did Steve go?"

Kayla mentally kicked herself. "He . . . he just had to go out of town for a few days. He should be back tomorrow, I think."

"Steve wouldn't have left town with everything that's going on unless it was important." Kim stared at Kayla. "What's really going on?"

Kayla did not respond. She knew that Shane was aware that Steve had gone to New York and she knew that Kim was not going to run and tell the ISA. Still, Kayla did not want Kim to get her hopes up. They had no idea what the captain Steve was meeting with might say or if Shane would even let him help if he wanted to.

"Kay?"

Deciding to be as honest as she could, Kayla finally spoke. "He went to New York to try and find some information that will help Shane." She held up her hand before Kim could speak. "Before you ask, I don't know if it will actually turn into anything. When he gets back, I'm sure he'll talk to Shane and Shane will tell you."

"I'm not so sure about that," Kim said. "So if Steve finds something that will help Shane, I hope you'll tell me about it."

"What do you mean, you're not so sure?" Kayla deliberately ignored the second half of Kim's comment. "Why wouldn't Shane tell you?"

"Well . . . it's not like we're talking that much right now." Kim sounded frustrated.

Kayla looked at her sister curiously. "Did you two have a fight or something?"

"No, actually. Just the opposite." Kim shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "He kissed me," she said softly. "And then I kissed him."

Kayla smiled broadly at her sister. "Oh, Kim. That's wonderful."

Now it was Kim's turn to hold up her hands. "Take it easy, baby sister. It doesn't change anything."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Come on, Kim. Of course it changes things. You can't tell me that kissing Shane doesn't mean anything. You still want him."

"Of course I want him, Kayla." Kim's frustration was replaced by exasperation. "He's the man I love and I've always wanted him. It just doesn't change the fact that we still have things to work through. And kissing him is just going to make that more complicated."

Before Kayla could respond, Kim's secretary buzzed her and told her that her next appointment had arrived.

"Saved by the bell." Kim smiled slightly at Kayla. "You're going to have to save that lecture you were ready to give me for another time."

Kayla smirked at her sister. "Don't think I won't have it ready the next time I see you." She stood and walked towards the door. Before she left, she turned back to Kim one last time. "Stop fighting what you know is right. Just be happy."


	421. Chapter 421

Shane finished reading the article, scowled, and tossed the newspaper aside. The pages separated as they fell off the edge of the desk.

"Sorry, Shane." Roman . . . No, John - _it's John _- looked sympathetically across the desk. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I figured you should see it."

Nodding, Shane said, "I appreciate it. I just wish I knew about it before Eve left this morning. I could've prepared her. Stopped her from doing anything rash."

"I hope that reporter has a bodyguard," John said with a laugh, but he stopped when he caught Shane's look.

This was no laughing matter. Eve was just starting her life, and now the entire world knew about her past. She did not deserve that pain.

Shane just shook his head, then sighed. "I guess I can't do anything about it, can I? When your kids get old-" He broke off suddenly. "Damn, John, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," John said. "I understand. It's hard for everyone to suddenly realize I'm not really Roman."

It had been three days since the DNA results had come back, and it was still a shock to everyone. John had spent large parts of the past two days at Shane's, seemingly one of the only places he felt comfortable, though he always left before Kim returned from work.

"It's weird." John ran a hand through his hair. "Everyone's acting nice, but that's just making me feel even weirder."

"Are you saying I shouldn't act nice?"

John rolled his eyes. "You don't count. I meant the Bradys. The ones I've come across . . . they act real nice, but it's like when you're a kid and you're forced to be polite to grown-ups, you know?."

"I'm not sure I do," Shane said. "I was polite because I was terrified of my nanny. If we did anything rude around grown-ups, we'd be cutting a switch from one of the trees in the yard."

"It must have worked," John said. "The nanny must have beat it out of you."

Shane chuckled. "I actually think cutting the switch was the worst part of the punishment. You had to go find just the right branch to use and, the whole time, you were imagining the spanking. The worst was when you couldn't find a decent branch on the willow tree. That meant using the ash tree. My backside's hurting just thinking about it." He let John laugh a little, before speaking again. "But I think I understand. It's like they're being polite because they don't know how to act. But it comes across as distant."

"That's it exactly," Roman said. "It's like I'm suddenly an outsider and they don't know me."

Shane knew exactly what Roman meant. When he had been forced to reveal that he kept Roman's survival a secret from the Bradys, his treatment had been very similar. "I know how that can feel, but I assure you things will get better." To turn the subject away from the Bradys, Shane asked, "How's Marlena doing?"

John shuffled awkwardly. "I've kind of been keeping my distance. She's already so confused and with Roman always there and not trusting me, I figure it's better to lie low. I did see Isabella last night."

"And?"

"She's trying to be supportive, give a sympathetic ear and all that." John sighed. "I guess it's good to have someone in my corner. She and you are the only ones who don't treat me like some stranger who'll go psycho at any minute."

Shaking his head, Shane said, "You're probably the most sane man I know - that little adventure on Stefano's island aside. If I'd had to go through what you've went through . . . even if it were just the last few years . . . well, let me just say I think you're doing remarkably well in the sanity department."

"Don't sell yourself short, partner. You've been through a hell of a lot too."

_Too true_. Sometimes Shane had to wonder how they managed, but he had a thought about that. "John. . . ."

"What?"

Shane looked down at the photo of his family on the edge of the desk. "I was thinking about when I had amnesia and how important it was that I had someone I could trust amidst all that uncertainty. Even if I didn't know if I loved Kim, I could see her love for me and it helped me through." Looking up, he stared John in the eye. "I think Isabella could do that for you."

"I think it's best for everyone that I don't involve Isabella," John said. "What would Roman think about my running to Isabella?"

"Who the bloody hell cares what Roman thinks?" Shane shot back. "Look . . . before the tests came back, you weren't even sure how you felt about Marlena. Was it that you felt guilty and responsible or was it that you truly loved her? And now you can't really know how much of that love was because of whatever was implanted in your head."

"But you're saying that I fell in love with Isabella," John said matter-of-factly.

Shane nodded. John was getting the point. "No matter what else has happened, you know that's real. That was all you."

John sighed. "And what will that get her? I'm off the police force, so I don't have a job. Hell, I don't even really have a place to live anymore."

It pained Shane to see his friend agonizing like this. "I wish I could help more," he said. "Maybe if I was still in the ISA, I could get to the bottom of this."

"You've got more important stuff to worry about," John said. "I'll just have to figure it out."

"There's one thing you don't have to figure out." Shane looked John in the eye. "Isabella loves you and that kind of love can help you, if you let it. Her love can be something you can hold on to."

John looked away and seemed to think a minute, before he looked back across the desk. "Maybe you're right, partner. But if that's true, why isn't it the case with you now? Why isn't it the same with you and Kim?"


	422. Chapter 422

"I know what you're here for, Johnson, but I only agreed to meet you for one reason - to tell you to leave me and my men alone. We can't help you. No one can."

Steve's heart sank as heard Nowicki's words. Even though he had known there were no guarantees, he was sure that Nowicki would not have agreed to meet him unless he wanted to help. Steve had left his wife during a difficult time just to meet with the guy. And now Nowicki was telling him it was all for nothing.

Trying to control his temper, Steve downed his beer and glared at Nowicki. "You can't help me?" Steve hissed. "Why the hell did you drag me all the way to New York City if all you had to tell me was that you can't help me?"

Nowicki finished off his drink and signaled he waitress for another round before responding. "I agreed to meet you because it's pretty clear you can't take no for an answer. Roy Deakins is one of the best soldiers I've ever served with and, thanks to your little trip to his family reunion, he's spent more time worrying about trying to help 'Spooky' than doing his job."

The waitress arrived with their drinks and Nowicki told her to bring a couple of shots of whiskey the next time by. Once she was gone, Steve spoke again. "I'm sorry I've disrupted your unit, but I'd think that a man's freedom might be a little more important."

Nowicki shook his head. "You just don't get it, do you Johnson. My unit can't afford any distractions if we're going to do our jobs. And when we don't do our jobs, people die." He shot a pointed look at Steve. "You should know that better than anybody."

Steve took a deep breath and then downed the shot the waitress had placed in front of him. "I do understand that," he said more calmly. "But we both know that Donovan's getting a raw deal. He doesn't deserve to be going to prison."

Nowicki signaled for another round of shots and scoffed. "Of course he doesn't. But he knew the risks when he got involved with that mission."

Steve's eye widened. "We both know that's not true. Donovan thought he was getting involved to rescue me. Nobody told him that mission was planned for weeks before the ISA found out I was even there."

It was Nowicki's turn to look surprised. Then he dropped his head and drained his glass. "Deakins told you, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that."

"Yeah, he told me." Steve sensed an opening. "Shane wouldn't even be in this mess if the ISA hadn't decided they needed a fall guy. They set him up."

"Maybe so," Nowicki agreed before pinning a dangerous look on Steve. "But he wouldn't be the fall guy if you'd have kept your mouth shut." He smirked at Steve. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who gave that story to the press."

Steve felt the air leave his body at Nowicki's remark. Putting away yet another shot, he felt the liquor burn down his throat as the guilt flooded him.

"Can't deny it, can you, Johnson?" Nowicki said. "You're the one that got Donovan in trouble and now you're trying to get me and my men to bail you out."

Steve leaned back slightly. "You want me to admit that I screwed up? Fine, I screwed up. Big time. And like I told Deakins, if I could trade places with Donovan right now, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I owe him that much and more." His voice softened slightly. "I know what it's liked to be locked up away from your family. The man doesn't deserve that."

Apparently, Steve's sincerity got through to Nowicki, whose posture relaxed slightly. "I'm sorry Donovan's in trouble. I really am. I like the man. But there is nothing I can do that won't destroy my unit - and that's something I won't do."

Steve slumped in his chair, trying to think of something to say or do to change Nowicki's mind. As they sat in silence, Nowicki signaled for another round.

After several minutes, Nowicki finally spoke again. "Look, Johnson. I know you want to help Donovan, and I understand why. But you need to face the fact that you can't beat the ISA on this one." He paused as the waitress set down the glasses, picked up his glass, and drained it. "Let Donovan take the plea deal and move on."

Steve's eye narrowed at Nowicki's slightly slurred words. "How the hell do you know about the plea deal?"

Nowicki shrugged. "That ISA Chief . . . Tarrington? He visited me about a week ago. The ISA knew about your little trip to Georgia and wanted to make it clear what would happen if anyone changed their mind about talking. I guess he's worried, so he told me Donovan has an out . . . that he could get out in three years." Nowicki leaned forward. "Then he reminded me that's two years less than any of my guys would get."

"It still doesn't make it right," Steve said.

Nowicki just laughed. "The ISA isn't about what is right or wrong. Especially when that bastard Tarrington is involved."

Steve's ears perked up at the disdain in Nowicki's voice. "I take it you don't like the guy either?"

"What's to like?" Nowicki snorted. "I had to sit there while he lectured me like a five-year-old. All I wanted to do was wipe that smug grin off his face." He raised his glass at Steve. "So I'm not lying when I say I want to help Donovan. Hell, if I could, I'd take out Tarrington and put Donovan in his place. At least, then, there'd be someone we could trust in charge. But there nothing I can do, Johnson . . . nothing."

Steve watched as Nowicki finished yet another shot. He felt bad for the captain. It was clear that he did not like what was going on and really hated being forced to go along with it. And as much as Steve wanted to, he could not blame Nowicki for refusing to get involved.

There just had to be a way. Nowicki was absolutely correct about Tarrington being smug. The man was just so sure that nobody could best him. But there just had to be a way.

After yet another round of shots down in silence, Nowicki stood unsteadily. "I wish I could say this had been fun, Johnson, but I'd be lying."

Steve grinned at Nowicki's slurred words. "I know what you mean, Captain."

Together they walked towards the front of the bar, with Nowicki nearly falling twice. By the time they reached the street, Steve knew that Nowicki was in no condition to find his way home by himself. Remembering what Deakins had said, Steve hailed a cab and poured Nowicki into it and then got in himself.

"Where are you going, Johnson?" Nowicki asked.

"I'm making sure you get home, you drunk bastard," Steve said. "I figure it's the least I owe you."

When they arrived at the hotel, Steve helped Nowicki out and with some effort got him through the lobby, into the elevator and into his room.

"You sure . . . sure hold your liquor a lot better than Donovan," Nowicki mumbled as Steve helped him to the bed.

Steve laughed at that. "Well, I probably have a lot more practice." He dropped Nowicki on the bed and turned to go. Steve hated the feeling of failure and helplessness that filled him. He had come to New York hoping to get a smoking gun, that key piece of evidence that would save Shane, and now Steve was going to go home empty-handed.

He took another look at the drunk soldier lying on the bed. Nowicki was still awake and watching Steve with a half-lidded gaze. Steve was filled with a mix of anger, frustration and pity. He understood Nowicki's dilemma, but it did not make things any better. Shane could still go to prison, and Steve was sure that Nowicki could help.

"I understand where you're coming from," Steve said as he headed for the door. "But there's got to be a way for the truth to come out without anyone going to prison. There's got to be a way to stop the ISA from getting away with this."

From the bed behind him, Steve heard a grunt and Nowicki's drunken voice. "You find a way to do that . . . 'n' stop those bastards . . . let me know. . . . see what I can do. . . ."

Steve felt a small smile play on his lips as he glanced back at the now passed-out soldier and felt a tiny bit of hope return. Steve had no idea what to do next, but there had to be a way. He just had to find it.


	423. Chapter 423

"Why isn't it the same with you and Kim?"

John's words hung in the air for a little while. Shane did not want to respond. He did not want to get into that. He had been trying - and failing - not to think about that. Ever since the night after the DNA results came back.

_The night you kissed._

Yes, it had been the night they kissed and, for a moment, Shane had thought the walls had fallen. But then Kim backed off and Shane had been forced to remind himself of his cursed promise not to push her.

"So?" John pushed.

"So, nothing," Shane said, unable to keep the exasperation out of his voice. "I'm trying, I promise you that, but it's Kim that's the problem."

John looked confused. It took a moment to realize that John had been in Mexico when Shane had woken from the coma, not to mention that John had been dealing with far more important things since his return to Salem than Shane's and Kim's relationship issues.

Shane tried to explain. "Kim doesn't know if she wants to reconcile and-"

"That's ridiculous," John exclaimed. "Kim loves you. You didn't see her, Shane. . . . when you were shot and. . . . " His voice trailed off and he frowned, thinking, before he finally said, "It's crazy. Even before Winters, she told Marlena and me that she wanted to repair things between you."

Shane had to grimace. That may have been what Kim wanted before the kidnapping, but that was before Shane has messed everything up.

"Maybe that's what she told you," Shane said. "But right now, she isn't sure she can trust me. And, hell, I've probably given her every reason to wonder."

John's eyes narrowed. "Does this have something to do with why Kim left the house the day of the kidnapping?"

"Yes." Shane could not meet John's eyes and looked down at the wood trim on the desk. "The night before. . . . Ah, bloody hell, I might as well just tell you. We slept together." Shane winced inwardly at how crass that sounded. "I don't mean it like that," he added quickly. "I mean, everything got to me and Kim was there and it just happened."

"It just happened?" John's tone of voice and raised eyebrow made it clear that he was skeptical.

Hearing his words repeated, Shane realized that he made it sound unimportant. It was the exact opposite. "That's not what I mean." _So what do you mean_? he asked himself. "What happened . . . it should've brought us back together, but then I botched it all up and told Kim it was a mistake-"

"You slept with my sis and then said it was a mistake?" From the anger in John's voice, Shane wondered if John was going to rip him limb from limb, but then John shook his head in disbelief. "How could you do something like that to her?"

"It was stupid, okay?" Shane shot back, his voice rising sharply. He forced himself to take a breath. "It was stupid. . . . I kept thinking about what Kim would go through with me in jail and how would she deal with being alone. . . ." Shane stopped himself before he said anything about doubting Kim's fidelity. "I regretted it, John, but I didn't get a chance to tell her that before Cal got her and, now, she doesn't know if I really mean it when I say I want to be with her or if it's just some emotional reaction to everything that's happened since." Shane looked up at the ceiling. "Honestly, I can't really blame her after what I did."

The room fell silent and Shane glanced at John, who was standing still, thinking it over. His anger seemed to have diffused.

"Look," Shane said. "I'm trying everything in my power to convince her I'm sincere, but she seems to want some kind of conclusive proof that I won't push her away in the future. I've told her I won't, but that's not enough." Shane could hear his own frustration coming through as his voice rose again. "How can I convince her? How the bloody hell do you prove that something won't happen in the future?"

Silence reigned once more as Shane found himself almost embarrassed at how emotional he had sounded.

"Sorry, partner. That sounds like a pretty raw deal." John gave Shane a sympathetic look. "Would it help if I talked to Kimmie?"

"Still the big brother," Shane said lightly, smiling as John just shrugged, but did not get angry or upset. "No," Shane continued. "I think this is something Kim and I need to work through. What I do know is that I'm not going to let anyone send me to jail, not with things unresolved."

"Then you'd better work fast on Kim," John said. "Your trial's less than two months-" He stopped short as he read the look on Shane's face. "You changed your mind, didn't you? You're going to fight the charges."

Shane debated how to respond, but John pushed for an answer.

"Tell me, Shane. Did you decide to call the soldiers?"

"No," Shane said quickly. "That's not it at all."

John raised an eyebrow. "Then what?"

Shane slid his chair back and slowly rose to his feet. Grabbing his cane, he took a few steps away from the desk and looked out the window. Andrew was standing at a small easel, painting a picture of the late October garden, while Jeannie played with finger-paints under the careful eyes of the nanny.

"Shane?"

Without turning, Shane continued to watch his children. _I'm not leaving them._ "I'm going to make it impossible for the ISA to convict me."

"How do you plan to do that?" John sounded doubtful.

Slowly, Shane turned his head to face John. "I'm going to find Lawrence Alamain, and I'm going to stop him from releasing the toxin."

John still looked confused. "I'm not even going to begin to ask how you plan to do that, but even if you did, how would it stop them from convicting you for what happened in Egypt?"

"See . . . that's where you have to understand how the ISA works." Shane raised a finger. "When I stop Lawrence, I'm going to say I was working for the ISA. And when they say I'm still working for them, there's no way a jury will believe I wasn't also working for the ISA on the mission to free Steve."

John thought momentarily, then frowned. "There's just one problem. Well, there's more than that, but one that stands out-"

"What?"

"What if the ISA doesn't say you were working for them to get Lawrence?"

Shane grinned. "They can't. If they did that, they'd have to admit that one man was able to do what the ISA couldn't. And when you're talking about a weapon like Lawrence's toxin, the ISA can't lose face like that. Politically, it would be disaster."

John seemed to accept that. "Okay . . . but that's not your biggest problem. How do you plan on finding Lawrence, let alone stopping him?" He studied Shane with a dubious expression. "You're not exactly in shape to wage a one-man crime-stopping campaign."

"No," Shane had to admit, as an idea formed in his head. "I need help - and I think you're exactly the man I need."


	424. Chapter 424

Steve unlocked the front door of the apartment, walked in, and dropped his duffle bag just inside the door.

"Sweetness?" he called out. "I'm home." The lights were on and he could see Kayla's purse on the table, so he knew she was home.

Seconds later, Kayla entered the living room, her eyes wide with surprise. The small smile on her face widened as she saw Steve. She immediately ran to him and threw herself into his arms.

Steve chuckled slightly and wrapped his arms around his wife. "Did you miss me, baby?"

Kayla did not answer, at least not with words. Instead, she pulled back slightly, smirked, and pulled him down for a long, passionate kiss that immediately got Steve's blood rushing throughout his body.

When they finally separated for a needed breath, Kayla ran her hand across his cheek and smiled again. "What are you doing here already? I thought you weren't going to be home until late tonight."

Steve shrugged, "I got lucky and caught an earlier flight. I didn't want to be away from my girls from one minute longer than I had to be." He glanced around the apartment. "Where's Stephanie anyway?"

"She's still napping," Kayla said, pulling Steve over to the couch. "So what happened in New York?"

Steve sighed as he sat down. "Not as much as I had hoped, Sweetness."

Kayla sat beside Steve and took his hand. "That army captain couldn't help you?"

"Couldn't or wouldn't; it's all kind of the same." Steve frowned slightly. "I think he wants to help, but the ISA has put the fear of God in him and his men. I can't say as I blame him for saying no."

"So that's it then?" Kayla asked, sounding sad. "Without the soldiers, Shane's going to be convicted."

"No," Steve said, shaking his head. "This isn't done yet. There's no way I'm giving up."

"But what else can you do?" Kayla looked down at their joined hands. "I know you want to help Shane. So do I. But what else is left?"

"I don't know, baby." He lifted Kayla's chin and kissed her softly. "And right now, I don't want to think about it anymore."

Smiling he kissed her again, more firmly, and felt her respond. He gradually deepened the kiss and let his hand drift down her arm and across her breast. He heard Kayla moan softly as he caressed her and slowly he began leaning her back into the couch.

"Steve," Kayla moaned softly. The she stopped and started to pull away. "We can't do this now."

"Sure we can," Steve whispered, kissing her neck.

Kayla moaned again as Steve's lips found the spot on her neck that he knew drove her wild. "Stephanie's going to wake up any minute."

"Then we'll be quick." Steve's fingers went to work on Kayla's blouse. "I've been gone for three days, baby."

He heard Kayla giggle as she kissed his neck, her hand moving down to the button on his jeans. "I know exactly how long you've been gone."

It was Steve's turn to moan as Kayla released the button on his jeans and her hand found him. He pressed himself into her as his lips found her breast through her lacy bra.

The moment was broken by a cry from Stephanie's bedroom. "Mama. Mama."

Kayla withdrew her hand as Steve's head dropped to her chest. Pushing against him slightly, Kayla wriggled free and quickly buttoned her blouse as Stephanie continued to call from the other room.

"Told ya," Kayla said with a disappointed grin. Then she leaned down and kissed him quickly. "Just remember where we were for later."

Steve just nodded, sat up on the couch, and rebuttoned his jeans. He tried to get his body under control and focused on the fact that he was going to see his baby girl.

"Papa!"

Steve turned and saw Stephanie squirming in Kayla's arms. He stood up and watched as Kayla put Stephanie down and she ran to her father. Steve smiled broadly and scooped Stephanie up and over his head.

"There's my little Sweetness." He brought her down and cuddled her against his chest. "Did you miss Papa?"

Stephanie smiled and babbled something he did not quite understand. "I'll take that as a yes," Steve said as he put her down again. Then he noticed something in Kayla's hand. "What's that, baby?"

"Stephanie's Halloween costume." Kayla held it up and Steve could see it was a cowgirl costume. "My folks are having a party for the all the grandkids tonight."

"Oh man," Steve replied. "I totally forgot that today was Halloween. I guess that explains all that funny looking people I saw today." He shrugged. "I just thought it was a New York thing."

Kayla laughed. "Maybe it's both." She reached down and picked up Stephanie. "But I need to get this little one in her costume so we're not late for the party."

Steve nodded, stepped forward, and kissed Stephanie's cheek, causing her to giggle. He smiled at the giggles carry downing the hall as Kayla took Stephanie back to her bedroom.

Staying on the couch, Steve tried to digest his emotions. With everything that had been going on, he had forgotten all about Halloween, and more than that, he had forgotten that he had missed Halloween with his family the previous year. It had come just after he had been taken away.

A year. The thought hit him like a cold shower. It had been a year - well just over a year - since he had been taken from his family. A year since Kayla had made his funeral arrangements and put a casket in the ground that she thought contained his body. And a year since the nightmare that was his captivity had begun.

"Steve?"

He jerked his head up at the sound of Kayla's voice. She was her standing in front of the couch and holding a dressed Stephanie.

"Are you okay?" Kayla asked, the concern plain in her voice.

"I'm fine, baby." He gave her a wan smile, then focused on Stephanie. "Look at this beautiful cowgirl here." Stephanie was dressed in a jean skirt, a plaid shirt, leather vest, and the cutest little pair of cowboy boots he had ever seen. The look was completed with a red cowboy hat perched on the top of her head.

Stephanie giggled as Steve lightly pinched her cheeks. Then she wriggled until Kayla put her down. Once on her feet, Stephanie immediately began practicing walking on her boots.

As she clomped around the living room, Steve grinned broadly. He looked up at Kayla and saw that she was watching him, an emotion he could not quite read in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Sweetness?"

Kayla shook her head. "Nothing. I'm . . . I'm just really glad you made it home in time for the party tonight."

Steve nodded and stood, taking Kayla into his arms. He knew that Kayla was talking about more than his trip to New York. It was clear that Halloween had triggered some memories for her as well. Softly kissing her head, he held her close and whispered in her ear.

"Me too, baby. Me too."


	425. Chapter 425

"Why didn't you tell me it was so cold here?" John asked.

Shane had to chuckle as he held the phone to his ear. "It's Nome, Alaska, and, if you'd checked a calendar, you'd see that it's October 31. What did you expect? The warm tropics?"

"Okay. . . . You got me there." John paused and then began running through his plan. "Isabella's renting the car right now, and we'll head out to the prison. I'm sure they won't let us in, but I'll look for a bar or some place nearby where the guards hang out after-hours. I'm sure they can tell me some things about Winters or Jackson."

Donald Jackson was the name of the prison warden who had disappeared after Cal's escape. With no real idea how to locate the man, Shane had sent John to Alaska to see what he could find. Isabella had insisted on going with, despite John's objections.

"I've got an ISA tail," John said. "Just one guy I've made out so far. Should I lose him?"

Shane debated it. He hated the idea of the ISA knowing what they were up to, but the downside risk was huge. "No. . . . If you slip the tail, they might issue an APB and try to take you into custody. If they see that you're letting them keep tabs on you, they'll probably keep their distance - especially since Isabella's with you."

"Okay, partner," John said. "Oh, there's Isabella. I'll let you know what I find." He hesitated for a minute and then added, "Thanks for letting me do this."

As Shane hung up the phone, he understood John's last comment. Given everything happening in his life, John had to appreciate the chance to escape and focus on a mission. In a way, Shane was envious. Stuck in Salem, with little to do but try to recover from his wounds, dwell on the situation with Kim, and wait for the trial, Shane was growing frustrated. He hoped John came up with something soon, a lead that Shane could be more involved in pursuing.

Taking his cane, he rose from the desk and headed toward the foyer. He wanted to check on Andrew, who was probably getting ready for the Halloween party at the Bradys. Shawn and Caroline had suggested the party instead of having the kids go trick-or-treating, which they thought might be awkward with Eric and Sami still getting used to their "new" father and Shane being physically unable to go with Andrew.

Shane climbed the stairs, only pausing to catch his breath when he reached the top. That was an improvement, though he knew he still had a long way to go. _Soon_, he said to himself, even though he also knew it could not come soon enough.

He started to make his way down the hallway, but he stopped once more as he heard the sound of Eve's voice. She was singing a song Shane did not recognize, but he could hear the emotion clearly in her voice as she sang the sad, plaintive lyrics. Eve's door was open, so he stopped in the doorway and watched as she sang to the mirror. After a few bars, she must have caught sight of him, because she stopped suddenly.

"Sorry," he said. "Don't mind me. I was just . . . captivated. Yeah, that's the right word - captivated."

Eve blushed. "I didn't mean for you to overhear."

"Why not? It's a beautiful song, and I always love to hear you sing." He smiled. "Your old man can't carry a tune to save his life, but I do appreciate good music."

"Thanks. . . ." Eve said. "Everything else I've got is kinda old, and 'Nothing Compares 2 U' was big last year, so I was thinking of adding it to my set."

Shane was confused. "Your set?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Sorry. I talked to Julie and I'm going to go back to managing Wings." Eve beamed. "And I'll be singing again."

Shane frowned and motioned to Eve's bed. "May I?" When she said nothing, he walked slowly to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Is that really what you want, Eve? I mean . . . with that article. . . ."

Just the day before, Eve had been distraught about the Chronicle article. Shane had sat with her and tried to assure her that nothing had changed about the way people felt about her, not the people who counted, at least. This sudden change in Eve's demeanor caught Shane completely by surprise.

Eve turned serious. "I thought about it, Dad, and I'm not going to let that article or Rachel Knight or anyone else destroy me. I can't change the past, so I just have to deal with it."

Something in the way she said that made Shane wonder if Eve had talked with Kim. Her words reminded him of how Kim often spoke of getting over her past. He smiled at his daughter and said, "I'm proud of you." But then something else came into his head. "I just. . . ."

"What?" she asked.

"I just wonder if it might be better for you to go back to Africa," he said. "There's no real reason for you to stay in Salem anymore. I'm recovering, and you don't need to put your life on hold by staying here."

Eve seemed to tense, and Shane could tell something was wrong.

"Eve? You do plan on going back to Africa, don't you?"

She shifted uncomfortably from side to side and then said, hesitantly, "I . . . I don't know. I don't think I want to go back there right now." She sighed. "It's just . . . I don't know. I don't think I'm really cut out for Africa."

Obviously, there was a lot more to it. "It's Frankie, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Eve sounded surprised at the question.

"You don't love Frankie," Shane said. It was a statement, not a question.

Eve shook her head. "I didn't say that, Dad. I just said I'm not sure I want to go back and live in Africa. That doesn't mean I don't love Frankie."

"Come on, sweetheart." Shane reached out and took her hand. "If you loved Frankie - and I mean, if you truly loved him with all your heart - where he's living would be irrelevant. You'd be on the first plane back to Africa if you could be with him."

Eve seemed to tremble a little. "I . . . I care about Frankie."

"But caring and loving someone more than life itself. . . . Those are two completely different things." Shane squeezed Eve's hand. "You'd know if you'd truly found that person and, if you're not anxious to rush back to be with Frankie, it hasn't happened."

"It probably won't ever happen." Eve pulled her hand free and muttered, almost under her breath, "Or it did and it's gone."

Shane could hear the hurt in Eve's mumbled words and knew she was probably thinking about Nick. "You're still very young, darling. And you're smart, and beautiful, and so talented. . . . Give yourself some time, and I think you'll find that right person. The one thing you don't want to do is settle for less than you deserve."

"Like you did with Kayla?"

Shane sat back, momentarily stunned by the bluntness of Eve's words. But there was a truth to what his daughter said, so he nodded, "Yes. . . . That's exactly what I was doing. . . . And it and everything that's happened the past few months has taught me one thing. If you're lucky enough to find that one special person in this world, you can't settle. And if you have a chance to live a life with that person, you'll never be truly happy without them."

He reached out again and took Eve's hand once more.

"The only thing I want for you, sweetheart, is for you to be happy. And I know you enough to know that you'll never be truly happy if you're not with someone you truly love."


	426. Chapter 426

Kim was running late as she entered the house. A meeting to discuss the budget for the Abuse Clinic had kept her at the hospital, and she still had to get Andrew and Jeannie ready for the party at her parents. At the rate Kim was going, they would be at least a half-hour late.

She raced up the stairs and headed for Andrew's room. But she stopped halfway down the hall when she heard Shane's voice.

". . . you don't want to do is settle for less than you deserve."

Kim heard Eve next. "Like you did with Kayla?"

There was a brief silence as Kim snuck close to the door to Eve's room. She was out of sight, but she could hear every word. Then Shane spoke again.

"Yes. . . . That's exactly what I was doing," he said. "And it and everything that's happened the past few months has taught me one thing. If you're lucky enough to find that one special person in this world, you can't settle. And if you have a chance to live a life with that person, you'll never be truly happy without them."

Kim forced her eyes closed, as she heard the sadness underlying his words.

"The only thing I want for you, sweetheart, is for you to be happy. And I know you enough to know that you'll never be truly happy if you're not with someone you truly love."

It was obvious that he was not just talking about Eve. Shane's daughter knew it also.

"Are you talking about me and Frankie or about you and Kim?"

Kim could not see Shane, but she suspected he was blushing slightly. "I . . . I can't say I'm not speaking from experience. I mean. . . . What I'm trying to say-"

Eve interrupted, but Kim could tell from the tone of her voice that she was teasing. "Can you get to the point, Dad?"

"Hey, joke all you want. I'm trying to help you out here." Then Shane grew serious. "You won't understand this until you're a parent, but when you have children, you'll understand how much you want to help them avoid making the same mistakes you made. So you can listen and maybe learn something, or you can go out and make the same mistakes I made."

"Okay," Eve said. "So this is about you and Kim." Shane must have nodded, because Eve responded. "So you think you need Kim to be truly happy? But why? You have us."

Kim heard Shane chuckle. "Oh, sweetheart. . . . I adore you. I love you and Andrew and Jeannie so much, it's indescribable. You bring me so much joy. . . ."

"But it's not the same, is it?" Eve asked.

There was a pause before Shane said, "No, it's not the same. It's not like loving Kim makes me love you any less; it's just that when you love someone like I love Kim. . . . well . . . I know my life can't be complete without her."

Outside the room, Kim's heart clinched. She could hear the sincerity in Shane's voice.

"Can you understand that?" Shane asked.

"I guess so," Eve said. "But maybe that's how you feel. . . . I don't know if I want to go through all that pain. At least, that's how it seems things are with you and Kim."

It was odd for Kim to hear Eve talk like that. She sounded protective, but also hurt. Obviously, Eve had seen that Kim and Shane hurt each other terribly. That spoke volumes that Eve, who always seemed so self-absorbed, could have seen and been so deeply affected by the turbulence in her father's marriage.

"I've told you that's part of loving someone as much as I love Kim," Shane said slowly. "And I made a lot of the mistakes, so it's hardly Kim's fault. But most importantly, it took me a long time to realize that, as painful as that love can be sometimes, it's worth every minute of pain just to have those moments of sheer joy you get. And that's what I want you to have more than anything else. I don't want-"

Shane cut off abruptly as Andrew's voice echoed down the hallway.

"Mommy! Look at me!"

Kim leaped away from the door and jerked her head toward Andrew's room. He was standing in the hallway in complete pirate regalia - boots, knickers, billowy shirt, pirate hat, and eye-patch. In his hand, he waved a plastic cutlass.

Quickly recovering from her surprise, Kim faked being afraid. "It's Dread Pirate Andrew. Oh no!"

An instant later, Eve poked her head out the bedroom door. "He's gotta be the shortest pirate in history," she teased as she gave her brother an appraising look. "Did you get that all together yourself?"

Andrew nodded proudly, then frowned slightly. "I couldn't get the parrot on. Can you help me?"

Kim was about to answer, but Eve spoke first. "Sure, squirt. Let's get you all ready. You can't be a pirate without your parrot." She gave Kim a knowing look as she slipped by and followed Andrew to his room.

"A parrot?" Shane's voice echoed by Kim's ear. It startled her to realize he was so close.

Kim shrugged. "You heard your daughter. You can't be a pirate without a parrot." She turned to Shane, who was now standing in the space vacated by Eve. "It's just a little toy bird that gets tied to his shoulder."

Shane nodded, but kept his eyes focused down the hall toward Andrew's room. "So when did you get home?"

What he really was asking was how much of his conversation had she overheard, but she did not want to admit eavesdropping. "I just got here. I heard your voices, but Andrew spotted me almost as soon as I got near the door. How's Eve doing, I mean, about the article and all?"

"Remarkably well," Shane said, obviously believing Kim's story. "But I suspect you played a role in that. Did you talk to her? I detected a distinct sense of 'I don't care what people think about my past' in what she said."

Kim looked down at the floor. "I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind?" Shane said. "As hard as it is to believe, I think Eve values your opinion . . . as do I. You put your past behind you, and that's part of what makes you such a strong, incredible woman."

Her cheeks flamed a little. Even as she heard the love and admiration in Shane's voice, Kim felt a little hollow. _He doesn't know. He wouldn't say I put the past behind me if he knew what I did with Cal._

"I just want Eve to be happy," Kim said, trying to stifle that unsettling voice. "She didn't deserve what Rachel Knight did to her."

"No, she didn't," Shane agreed. "But you know what? It's out now. She's 20 and now she can live her life never worrying about her 'secret' being revealed. In the long term, I think that may be for the best. Eve doesn't have to harbor the guilt of keeping secrets."

Kim shivered, wondering if Shane could read her thoughts. "Guilt. . . ." Her voice trailed off lamely.

He immediately became apologetic. "Oh, God, Kim, I didn't mean to suggest anything."

"It's okay," she said quickly. "I wasn't implying anything." She turned and smiled at him. "Honest. I was just thinking about all that guilt I carried when I first came home. Not just about what I did in Europe, but about Uncle Eric. I-"

"Mommy, are you ready?"

Kim shut her mouth. The last thing she wanted to do was have Andrew overhear her talking about Uncle Eric. She turned and saw that Andrew and Eve had emerged from his room. Andrew's costume was now complete, with the stuffed parrot tied firmly to his shoulder.

Next to her, Shane grinned. "Now that is one good-looking pirate." As Andrew sneered and swung his cutlass in a manner he probably thought was menacing, Shane laughed. He raised his cane and let Andrew hit it a few times with the sword, before saying, "All right, I surrender. Just don't make me walk the plank."

Kim could not keep from laughing at their antics. "Okay, you two. . . ." She rolled her eyes, which only elicited more giggles from Andrew. To him, she said, "Go get your coat."

"Do I haveta?" Andrew whined. "It's not a pirate coat."

"Yes, it's cold outside." Seeing his scowl, Kim added, "We can take it off when we get to the patio, so Grandma and Grandpa won't see it."

The scowl disappeared and Andrew turned. "Great!" he said, as he scampered to his room.

Kim turned to Shane. "How about you? You know you're welcome."

He shook his head. "I don't think I'm up to it." She could hear a twinge of regret, but mainly he seemed embarrassed at his lack of strength. Kim could understand. Just walking from the car to the house would take a lot out of him.

"By Thanksgiving, you'll feel up to it. I'm sure of it." Kim tried to sound certain, then turned to Eve. "How about you, Eve? You haven't really spent any time with my folks since you've been back."

Eve smiled apologetically. "Thanks, Kim, but I can't. I have to get over to Wings and help get everything set for the party tonight. Julie's counting on me, now that I'm the manager again."

"That's great," Kim said, now getting a better sense of what had precipitated Shane and Eve's conversation.

"Yeah, and I don't even have my costume ready." Eve's eyes narrowed. "I was thinking of going as Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman.' You know, with a short wig, thigh-high boots and a short, blue mini."

Shane nearly shouted. "Eve!"

Eve laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. "I'm just kidding!" She grinned. "Though it would show I've got a sense of humor about all of this . . . but, no, Julie gave me a dress to wear from the 1960s, so I'm going to go as a hippie. I actually think Julie used to wear that thing."

Kim chuckled. "I don't know about hippie clothes. Julie was always the fashion plate when she was younger. I remember how envious I always was of her clothes."

"Whatever it is, it's got to be a lot better than you going like a. . . . like a. . . ." Shane did not finish his sputtering sentence, because Eve gave him a dramatic eye-roll and then kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for caring, Daddy," she said. "Now, would you two let me get into my bedroom so I can get ready." She waved at them, so they moved out of the doorway, went into the room, and shut the door. That left Kim with Shane and Andrew, who shifted impatiently from side to side.

"Can we go now?" he asked.

Kim nodded. "Go on downstairs. I'll be there in a few minutes." She just needed to get Jeannie into her costume, which thankfully, was nothing more than a black onesie, some cat ears, and a couple of drawn-on whiskers.

As Andrew started to race off, Shane called out, "Don't eat too much candy, Sport. You wouldn't want to be an evil pirate with a tummy ache." His eyes were twinkling and he looked back at Kim, beaming.

"You sure you don't want to go?" Kim asked.

Shane shook his head, but kept smiling. "Go and have a good time, and you and Andrew can tell me all about it when you get back. I think I could use a little rest." He nodded at his cane. "All this swordplay has me beat."

Before Kim could turn, he reached out with his free hand and brushed her cheek. For a second, Kim started to back away, but she stopped, enjoying his light touch against her skin. Unconsciously, she closed her eyes and leaned her head into his hand. Then it hit her what she was doing and her eyes blinked open and she stepped back.

"I'd better go," she said.

He seemed disappointed, but did not push. "That's right, of course, you'd better go. Andrew's waiting and you probably still have to get Jeannie ready." He lowered his hand and smiled softly. "I'll see you later."


	427. Chapter 427

Kayla put Stephanie down in front of the door to her parents' home. She smiled at Steve and then knocked on the door.

A few seconds later, the door opened and Shawn smiled down at his granddaughter. "Well what have we got here?"

Stephanie giggled and pointed up at Shawn. "Gan-pa."

Kayla knelt down and whispered in Stephanie's ear, "Remember what mama told you?"

Stephanie nodded and held out the plastic pumpkin bucket in her hand. "Twick or tweat."

Shawn laughed heartily and reached out and picked up Stephanie. "You already got this Halloween thing figured out, don't ya, little girl?" Reaching into a bowl of candy by the door, he picked up a handful and put it in Stephanie's bucket. "There are some treats for the sweetest little cowgirl I know."

Kayla took Steve's hand and followed her father and daughter into the house. Inside she could see that Roman and Bo and their families had already arrived.

Roman and Marlena were in the kitchen while Bo and Carly stood in the living room. In between, Kayla could see Eric, Shawn Douglas, and Sami busily playing. Eric was dressed as an army soldier and was shooting his pretend machine gun at an imaginary enemy. Shawn Douglas, dressed as an Indian, responded by shooting his bow and arrow. Sami was a beautiful princess trying in vain to order her brother and cousin around.

As Steve took their coats to the back room, Kayla watched as Shawn put Stephanie down in the middle of the other children. The boys barely said hi before going back to their adventure. Sami, on the other hand, clearly realized she now had a proper subject to boss around. Kayla laughed as Sami quickly took Stephanie by the hand and dragged her over the little table that had been set up.

Within a few moments, Sami had a tea party set up, and was patiently instructing Stephanie on the proper way to drink her pretend tea.

Glancing across the room, Kayla caught Marlena's eye and they exchanged a smile at the antics of their daughters. Kayla could not blame Sami for taking advantage of her younger cousin. She had been the only younger girl in the family for a long time.

"Looks like somebody got all settled in."

Kayla turned to Steve. "Yeah, I think Sami is enjoying having somebody to play with tonight. She's been waiting for Stephanie to grow up for awhile now."

"I'm sure she has." Steve looked over to where Bo and Carly were still talking. "I'm going to go say hi to Bo."

Kayla nodded and then walked towards Roman and Marlena. Things were still a bit awkward between Roman and his siblings. Kayla knew he was still upset that they had not immediately believed him and, even more, that they continued to consider John part of the family.

"Hi, Roman. Marlena," Kayla said as she approached.

"Happy Halloween, Sis," Roman replied, giving Kayla a hug. Marlena followed suit.

"How . . . how are things going?" Kayla immediately felt foolish for the question.

Luckily, Marlena rescued her. "We're doing okay." She smiled at Roman. "It's all been a big adjustment for the everybody - especially the kids. But we're working on it."

Kayla nodded and turned back to where the kids were playing. "They seem to be having fun tonight."

"It was nice of Ma and Pop to put this together," Roman said, also watching the children. "I still can't believe that I have nieces and nephews running around here."

Kayla slipped her arm around Roman. "Well, now you have lots of time to get to know them."

Roman nodded and put his arm around Kayla's shoulders just as she heard a knock at the door. She looked over to see Shawn answering and handing out candy to Andrew the pirate and little Jeannie in her cat costume.

Andrew quickly joined Eric and Shawn Douglas in the imaginary battle taking place between the kitchen and living room. Kayla watched Kim put Jeannie down with Sami and Stephanie, but then she heard a battle cry from a familiar voice. She shifted her gaze to find her husband and younger brother conducting a sneak attack on the boys.

The sounds of squealing and laughing drowned out all other noise while Steve and Bo finished off their attack. As Kim joined the group in the kitchen, Eric, Andrew, and Shawn Douglas began their counterattack.

"I don't know who's more dangerous," Kim said, between greeting Roman and Marlena with hugs. "The soldier, pirate, and Indian brave or the two big boys in the middle of them."

Kayla laughed and hugged Kim. "I'm pretty sure it's the big boys. The little ones are easier to control."

Carly made her way to the group. "It's getting a little dangerous over there. I think they might be plotting an attack against the entire family."

There was more laughter at that remark, but Kayla could not help but notice that Roman's laugh did not match the expression on his face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw how he was watching Bo and Steve playing with the boys. There was a wistful look that made her heart clinch.

Kayla was about to say something when she saw Marlena lean over and whisper something to Roman, nodding towards where the boys were playing. In response, Roman just shook his head. Then he stepped away from the group and walked to the other side of the kitchen where Shawn was standing.

Kayla felt bad for her brother, but had no idea what to do. It was obvious that he wanted to go join the fun with the children, but apparently he did not feel comfortable enough to do that. Turning, she caught Kim's glance and could see her sister had picked up on the same thing.

The four women looked at each other for a moment. Then Marlena smiled and shrugged sadly. A peal of laughter caused them all to turn back to the roughhousing boys in the room. Kayla smiled as she watched her husband be attacked by a pirate and brave. At least the kids were having a good time, she thought. Even the big ones.


	428. Chapter 428

Kim leaned back in her chair and smiled at the group in the living room. The battle had finally subsided, with the pirate, brave, and soldier defeating the invaders. As penance, the big boys were now telling ghost stories.

Bo and Steve were sitting on the couch. Bo had a giggling Stephanie in his lap, while Steve kept Jeannie entertained. In front of the couch, the pirate, brave, soldier, and princess sat in rapt attention.

Carly had wandered over to them and now stood behind the couch, leaning over Bo's shoulder. Roman stood a few feet away, his eyes on his children and an inscrutable expression on his face.

Kim watched her older brother for a moment, then turned to Marlena who was sitting next to her at the kitchen table.

"How are things going with Roman and the kids?" Kim asked, keeping her voice low.

Marlena's eyes darted to where Roman was standing and then back to Kim. Marlena shrugged slightly. "As well as can be expected I guess."

"Marlena . . ." Kayla chimed in softly from her spot on the other side of where Kim was sitting. "I was watching Roman earlier when the boys were playing with Bo and Steve. I could tell he wanted to join them, but he wouldn't. What's going on?"

Marlena sighed and leaned forward. "The kids are just having a hard time adjusting. They don't remember Roman." She glanced at her husband again. "I tried to tell him that it just takes time. When I returned, they weren't sure about me, either. And now we're fine."

"I take it that's not making Roman feel any better, though," Kim replied.

"He's been trying to be patient and not push but. . . ." Marlena stopped.

"But what?" Kayla pressed.

"Last night," Marlena finally said. "Sami was having a bad dream and Roman heard her calling for 'Daddy.' He ran into her room to comfort her, but when she finally opened her eyes, she just started screaming even more. She kept telling Roman she wanted her 'Daddy.'"

Kim's heart went out to her big brother. She remember when they had first gotten Andrew back and how it had taken Andrew some time to adjust. But he was just a baby and could not talk. It had torn her up inside knowing that he was crying because he missed the only parents he had known.

"Poor Roman," Kayla said with a sigh.

Marlena and Kim nodded in agreement. Then all three women turned at the sound of a knock at the door. Kim watched as Shawn opened it and was shocked when Eve entered the house, dressed as something straight out of Woodstock.

Eve quickly exchanged hellos as she searched the room until she found Kim. Walking purposefully, she approached the table where Kim was sitting.

As Eve reached the table, Kim said, "Hi, Eve. I didn't think you could make it tonight. I thought you were working at Wings."

"I am," Eve replied as she sat down. "I only have a few minutes, so I'm going to make this quick." She leaned forward and looked directly into Kim's eyes. "I want to know what it's going to take for you to get back together with my dad?"

Kim's eyes widened in surprise at Eve's blunt question. She looked at Kayla and Marlena, both of whom looked equally surprised. "Uh . . . Eve . . . that's really-"

"I know. . . 'it's complicated,'" Eve interrupted, rolling her eyes. "That's what you keep telling me. But I know Dad loves you. And . . . I know you love him too."

"Really?" Kim could not help but be surprised by Eve's admission after all the time Eve had insisted otherwise.

Eve nodded and her tone softened slightly. "I'm not saying I understand everything that's happened between the two of you, or why you keep hurting each other. . . . But Dad insists that he can only be truly happy is if he has you. And I want him to be happy."

"I want him to be happy too," Kim said softly. "It's all I've ever wanted for him."

"Then why are you still pushing him away?" Eve asked. Her eyes dropped to the table and her voice softened even more. "The other day you told me that I couldn't let the past control my future. You told me I should look at it as a difficult learning experience and be proud that I came through all of it."

Kim nodded. "That's right. I meant every word of it."

"Well shouldn't you take your own advice then?" Eve looked at Kayla and Marlena who were still sitting silently. "You two know I'm right, don't you?"

Marlena and Kayla both stifled smiles, which Kim knew was at least partly because they had both given her similar advice.

Kayla reached over and took Kim's hand. "She's right, you know."

Eve smiled triumphantly. "See." Then she glanced at her watch and jumped up. "I have to go before Julie fires me on my first official night back." She looked at Kim again. "Just remember what I said, okay?"

Kim nodded and Eve hurried to the door, saying her goodbyes as she went. When the door closed behind Eve, Kim turned back to Kayla and Marlena. "Wow," was all she could manage to say.

Kayla and Marlena giggled in response and Kim found herself joining them. When the laughter finally subsided, Kayla smiled and said, "I know it's not always a good thing, but Eve does seem to know how to cut to the chase, doesn't she?"

Marlena gave Kim a sideways glance. "I don't really know Eve that well yet, but is she always so . . . blunt?"

As Kayla burst into laughter, Kim chuckled and nodded. "Eve's never been one to hold back her feelings. At least not about me or my relationship with Shane. This is just one of the first times she's ever actually encouraged it."

"Well, maybe that should tell you something." Kayla grinned. "If Eve's being supportive of you and Shane, then it must be meant to be."

Kim smiled for a moment, then grew more serious. "I wish it were just that easy. But you both know it's not. And you both know why."

Marlena leaned forward. "You still haven't talked to Shane about Cal?"

Kim shook her head. "I've wanted to. But he's still so weak. I'm just not sure he's ready for that conversation."

Marlena smiled at Kim. It was her psychiatrist smile, which Kim knew all too well. "Is that really why you haven't told him?"

Kim glanced at Kayla for help, but Kayla's expression said she wanted an answer to the same question. Sighing, Kim finally answered. "Okay . . . so it's not the only reason. Maybe I'm not sure I'm ready for that conversation either."

"Kim." Kayla spoke softly. "You're never going to know the answers to your questions until you finally talk to Shane. Go home and talk to him now."

"I . . . I can't." Kim felt the fear grip her heart. She searched for an excuse. "Andrew's having so much fun. I can't just leave."

"Then let Andrew stay," Marlena said. "You know he can always stay with Shawn and Caroline. Or maybe he'll want to go home with Bo and Shawn Douglas and spend the night."

"Go home, Kimmie," Kayla whispered. "Don't waste any more time."

Kim nodded. It was time to talk to Shane and face the consequences, whatever they might be. She tried to stifle the dread growing inside her as she forced a smile at Marlena and Kayla. Then, Kim stood up and walked to where Bo was sitting.

When she reached the living room, she asked Bo if it was okay for Andrew to spend the night on the boat. Bo quickly agreed, offering her a smile that seemed to indicate he knew exactly why she was going home early.

Gathering Jeannie from Steve, Kim kissed Andrew goodbye and told him he was going to stay with Shawn Douglas. Both boys were thrilled with the news and immediately began making plans for the sleepover. By the way Eric was chiming in, Kim was pretty sure he was angling for an invite too.

Finally, Kim said her goodbyes to her parents, explaining she needed to check on Shane. They both just smiled and Kim wondered how it was that her family seemed to know what was really going on. Shrugging it off, Kim got Jeannie into her coat and made her way out the door.

"All right, Jeannie," she said to her smiling daughter. "Let's go see Daddy."


	429. Chapter 429

"And nobody ever saw Captain Blood again." Steve's voice was barely a whisper as he leaned down close to the four youngsters sitting at his feet. "But legend has it that, every Halloween, he comes back, looking for children to take away and eat." Steve stifled a grin at the wide-eyed gazes staring back at him.

"He eats them?" Eric whispered.

Steve nodded gravely. "They say he needs the blood of young children to stay alive." Steve leaned back as he saw Bo sneaking up behind the kids. "But you don't have anything to worry about. I'm sure he's far, far away from Salem."

As Steve finished the words, Bo pounced on the kids. "I am Captain Blood!" he yelled as he grabbed Eric and Shawn Douglas by the shoulders.

A deafening scream arose as all four kids scrambled to escape the dread Captain Blood. It only took a minute for Sami, Eric, Andrew and Shawn Douglas to realize it was only Bo. The three boys counterattacked while Sami stalked off to find her mother.

Steve laughed as his best friend was subdued by the kids. Of course, given that Bo was practically paralyzed with laughter, it wasn't too hard to capture him.

"That's not funny, Papa," Shawn Douglas scolded.

"I'm sorry, Sailor Man," Bo said as he tried to catch his breath. "But I got you so good."

Eric turned back to Steve. "Tell us another story, Uncle Steve. You tell the best stories."

"That's because he's a pirate like me." Andrew chimed in before Steve could answer.

"Uncle Steve's not a pirate," Eric said.

"Of course he is," Andrew insisted. "He's got a patch just like I do. Only pirates have patches like this."

Steve felt his heart clinch a little at Andrew's words. He knew Andrew did not mean anything by what he said, but no matter how long he had worn his patch, Steve never quite got used to the pirate references.

"Are you really a pirate, Uncle Steve?" This time it was Shawn Douglas asking the question.

Pushing aside his feelings, Steve leaned down and smiled at the boys. "Can you little dudes keep a secret?"

The three eager faces nodded, so Steve cast a quick glance at Bo and continued. "I used to be a pirate. Me and your Uncle Bo sailed all over the world together, looking for treasure."

The boys eyes widened further and they peppered Steve with questions about what treasure he had found and battles he had been in. Steve and Bo answered their questions, each trying to top the other with increasingly outrageous details. The boys believed every word of it.

"How come you're not a pirate anymore?" Eric finally asked just as Kayla walked over. She had Stephanie in her arms.

"Well," Steve began, picking Eric up and setting him on the couch. "Let me tell you a little story." He glanced at Kayla. "One day, when I was out doing pirate stuff, I met a fair maiden. Do you know who that maiden was?"

When Eric shook his head, Steve smiled and said, "Why it was your Aunt Kayla, of course."

Eric looked at Kayla. "You met Uncle Steve when he was a pirate?"

Kayla grinned as she looked down at Steve and Eric. "Yep. You could say that your Uncle Steve was quite the bad guy when I met him."

"She's right," Steve agreed. "I was one bad dude. But then I met the fair maiden Kayla and knew I had to give up my pirate ways if I was going to win her heart. So that's what I did." As Steve finished, Kayla leaned down and kissed him gently.

"Ewww." Eric grimaced as he jumped down from the couch. Calling to his cousins, he said, "Uncle Steve and Aunt Kayla are kissing."

"Ewwww!" The noise was louder as Shawn Douglas and Andrew joined in their cousin's disgust.

The noise was interrupted by Caroline announcing that the caramel apples were ready. Steve chuckled as three boys and one adult man scrambled to their feet and raced to the kitchen. Kayla put Stephanie down and the little girl daughter toddled after the boys as fast as her little legs would carry her.

"Does she even know what a caramel apple is?" Steve asked, watching his daughter run to the kitchen.

Kayla laughed as she sat down beside him. "I don't think so. She's just following the boys."

"I hope she breaks that habit before she's a teenager," Steve muttered.

Kayla laughed again. "I'm afraid it will get worse before it gets better." Then her voice grew softer. "That was quite a story you were telling Eric."

Steve grinned and reached out to stroke Kayla's face. "Every word of it was true, Sweetness."

Kayla shook her head. "I don't know about that. You were never as bad of a guy as you thought you were."

"Now who's telling stories, baby?"

Kayla leaned in and kissed him. "You're a good man, Steve Johnson. You always were." Standing, glanced towards the kitchen. "I better get over there before Stephanie gives one of those caramel apples a try. I don't think her teeth are quite up for that."

Steve watched his wife walk to the kitchen and stood up. Despite Kayla's protests, Steve knew there had been a time when he had been close to falling into an abyss from which he would never have returned. But in large part because of Kayla, he had been rescued from that fate.

"So, you must have been the Dread Pirate Steve, huh?"

Steve turned at the sound of Roman's voice. He had forgotten that Roman had been standing in the corner while Steve had been telling ghost stories.

"Something like that," Steve said, wondering where this was going.

"Well, based on the Salem P.D. file with your name on it, the name seems to fit." Roman stepped closer. "Working for Victor Kiriakis, a murder charge, an attempted murder and kidnapping charge, not to mention assorted assault and theft charges.

Steve took a deep breath and tried to control his temper. He held no illusions about his past and how it probably looked to Roman. But all of that was a long time ago.

"Did that file also happen to mention that none of those charges stuck and that until about a year ago, I was working for the Salem P.D.?"

Roman nodded. "I read your personnel file, too. Seems like, thanks to John, you got to skip most of the background checks and got accepted into specialized training." Steve did not miss the disdain in Roman's voice. "I don't plan on being quite so irresponsible as police captain."

"What's your problem, dude?" Steve snapped, unable to keep his anger in check any further. "You don't even know me."

"That's exactly my problem, Johnson," Roman hissed in return. "I can't figure out how my baby sister ended up married to a guy with a criminal record as long as my arm, and whose close friends include an ISA traitor and an imposter."

Steve wanted nothing more than to take a swing at Roman at that moment. But he could see the kids having fun out of the corner of his eye and knew the last thing anyone needed was a fight breaking out.

Taking a deep breath, Steve lowered his voice and said, "That ISA traitor is also the man Kim loves. That imposter is the man who saved all our lives on more than one occasion. I don't care what you want to think about me. But those two are good men."

"Is everything all right?"

Steve spun around at the sound of Kayla's voice. He could see the concern in her eyes as they shifted between him and Roman.

"Everything's fine, baby." Steve turned back to her brother. "Right, Roman?"

Roman stared at the two of them for a moment, then offered a grim smile. "Sure, Sis. Everything's fine. Steve and me were just getting to know each other. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on those caramel apples."

After Roman walked off, Kayla turned to Steve again. "Are you sure everything is okay? I saw your face while you were talking to Roman. That wasn't an 'okay' expression."

Steve wrapped his arms around Kayla and shrugged. "I told you, Sweetness. Your big brother doesn't seem to like me too much."

"Maybe I should go talk to him." Kayla started to pull away, but Steve held fast.

"No, baby. This is a party for the kids. There's no reason to cause a fuss tonight." He smiled at her. "Besides, I don't care how Roman feels about me. All I care is what you feel."

Kayla looked in his eyes. "I love you," she said.

"Then that's all that matters." Steve pulled Kayla close to him and whispered in her ear. "Now let's go see if we wrap this party up soon. I still need to show you how much I missed you while I was gone."

Kayla nodded and together they walked towards the crowd in the kitchen. He caught Roman's still-hostile look, but Steve just grinned. He had meant what he had said to Kayla. It didn't matter what Roman thought. All that mattered was that his wife loved him and he loved her more than anything.


	430. Chapter 430

The ringing doorbell caught Shane by surprise. He wondered who could be ringing the bell after dark, but then remembered it was Halloween. Of course, the neighborhood kids would be out in force. Smiling slightly, he decided to go to the foyer. Perhaps he could even beat Simmons, who undoubtedly had a large bowl of candy ready for eager trick-or-treaters.

The doorbell actually was a welcome distraction. After Kim had left, Shane had tried to rest, but his mind kept going back to that brief moment with Kim earlier in the evening. He could still feel the soft skin of her cheek and the pressure on his hand as she leaned into his touch.

And then she had pulled away. Again, he had been left to wonder what he could do to convince her that he wanted to be with her, that he wanted their family to be complete.

With those thoughts rushing through his head, Shane had given up on rest and had decided to go back to library, though he had little idea of what he would do once there. He had only just reached that room when the doorbell rang.

"I have it, sir," Simmons said, breaking Shane out of his reverie. Shane had reached the foyer, but the butler was already opening the door to reveal a six-foot tall gorilla.

"Trick or treat," came a voice that Shane instantly recognized. Jack Devereaux.

Shaking his head, Shane asked, "Jack, what the devil are you doing here? Especially looking like that?"

"Haven't you heard?" Jack said, removing his gorilla head. His own head, now exposed, looked tiny surrounded by the giant shoulders of the animal costume. "It's Halloween. All Hallows Eve. Also known as Samhain in your neck of the woods."

It was amazing how quickly Jack could become irritating. In the span of two sentences, Shane was already glaring. "I know what day it is. That doesn't explain why you're here."

"Okay, okay." Jack raised his furry hands. "I'm here because I want to talk to you, and I figured the costume would help me get in the door so-to-speak. I figure you probably have all sorts of security that would zap me before I made it to the front steps."

Shane rolled his eyes. "It does cut down on door-to-door solicitors."

Jack suddenly looked rather nervous. "Do you really?"

"No, Jack, I don't shoot people for coming to the front door." Shane knew he sounded exasperated.

"Oh. . . ." Jack actually sounded disappointed. "I just figured . . . an ex-ISA guy like you. . . ."

"Ex-ISA guy?" Shane said with a pointed look.

Jack flushed red. "Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that. You know I'm sorry about that article and would take it back if I could."

Shane did not really want to rehash the article. "Jack. . . ." He took a deep breath. "Just tell me what you're doing here?"

"I . . . uh. . . ." Jack paused as if suddenly deliberating if he should answer the question. Apparently, answering won out over not answer. "Shane, I wanted to see if you'd consent to an interview with the Spectator. The public's heard from everyone else and-"

Shane cut him off abruptly. "Out!"

"Wait!" Jack said. "I'm just trying to help."

"No, Jack." Shane pointed at the door. "I'm not giving interviews, and that's final. I've told you before, so there's no point continuing to pester me."

Jack frowned. "But I even wore a gorilla suit-"

"Out!"

Jack let out a dramatic breath, turned, and stepped through the door. "Fine. But if you change your-" His words got cut off as Simmons shut the door.

"I'm sorry, sir," he said. "I assumed it was children from the neighborhood."

Shane nodded as he started back to the library. He was halfway to his desk when he heard the front door open. Not again, he thought. Jack Devereaux just couldn't take no for an answer.

"Jack, if you-"

He stopped short as he turned to the library door and saw Kim standing there.

"Kim. . . what are you doing back?" He looked at the clock, which showed it was only a little more than an hour since Kim had left the house. Worried, Shane asked, "Is everything okay with the kids?"

"They're fine," she said. "Simmons has Jeannie, and Andrew is going to spend the night on the boat with Bo and Shawn Douglas."

Shane studied Kim, still confused. "Are you okay? I mean, I can't imagine you leaving a family party so early."

Kim sighed and entered the room. "I . . . I'm okay, at least, I think I am. Or I will be. I guess I'll have to be."

"Kim, I don't understand."

"No, I guess you don't." Kim gave him a soft smile that betrayed some sadness. "There's something I need to talk to you about. Something I need to . . . confess."

Now even more confused, Shane stepped toward her. "What do you mean?"

Kim took his free hand and pulled him to the sofa. "I think you should sit down." He could tell from her demeanor that she was nervous and afraid, and his mind involuntarily flashed back to the day he had confronted her after learning that Victor might be Andrew's father. As he had told her that he had seen her on the cameras at Victor's house, Kim had shown the same type of nervousness and fear.

His own nerves jangled, Shane took a seat. "Kim-"

"No, please," she said. "Let me talk. I've gone over and over in my head how I was going to tell you this and, well, I just need to get it out there, so, please, just listen."

Shane felt a rush of cold down his spine. He did not like this. But he remained silent.

"It has to do with Cal," Kim said. She stopped to take a deep breath. "When he had me and Kayla." She was pacing now and not looking at Shane. "He threatened to kill her. He was going to take me, but he was going to kill her. And he was going to kill the children."

Shane had to speak up. "I would never have let Cal hurt the children."

Kim shook her head. "He was so close, remember. Remember the pictures. He could have done it, and I knew that was why he was still in Salem. He said he wanted to eliminate my links to the past. That's what he called them." Tears formed in her eyes. "Andrew and Jeannie . . . my links to the past - to you," she said, facing Shane once more.

"But it was just a threat," Shane said. "Cal's gone."

"But he wasn't then." Kim shook her head again. "Oh, he was so real. And I knew . . . I knew if he hurt Kayla or one of the kids or you. . . . I wouldn't have been able to live with it." A lone tear ran down her cheek. "I had to do it, Shane. I had to."

Shane felt his chest constrict. Slowly, he asked, "What . . . what did you do?"

Kim looked away and her face turned red. When she spoke, he could hear the shame in her voice. "I told him I'd go with him - voluntarily. I said I'd do whatever he wanted."

"You were just saying what you had to to protect Kayla," Shane said.

"That's not it." Kim's voice rose sharply. "Don't you understand? I didn't just say I'd do it. I would have. I was ready to give myself to him. I even tried to at the hangar, but Kayla stopped me. If you hadn't shown up when you did, we would have been gone, and I would have done it without a second thought." Kim turned to face him. "I would have done it."

The room fell silent for a moment.

"Do you hear me, Shane?" she asked. "I would have gone with Cal. I would have been his willing whore."

Shane felt the room spin a little as he tried to let her words sink in, but Kim did not stop. Her eyes locked on his as she finished.

"I would have been his whore, Shane - and if that's what it took to keep my family safe, I wouldn't have regretted it for a second."


	431. Chapter 431

Just a quick author's note. There have been a few comments about the previous chapter and Kim. I do plan on responding, but think it would be more appropriate to hold off until after a few more chapters have been posted.

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Kim stood there, silently, waiting for Shane to respond. His face was impassive, revealing nothing. He looked away and fiddled with the cane he was holding in his hand.

"Didn't you hear me?" she said sharply, challenging him. If he was going to push her away again, it was going to be with words, not cold silence. "Didn't you hear what I was going to do? After all that about putting my past behind me, I was going to go back to being nothing more than a whore."

Shane remained silent.

"Damn it!" Kim shouted. "Aren't you at least going to say something?" And yet, beneath her anger, her stomach was churning, fearful of what he would actually say. She remembered that feeling of emptiness when he had mentioned Victor a few days earlier, and her voice dropped almost to a whisper. "If you hate me, just say it."

That seemed to get through to him, and Shane finally spoke. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice revealing a hint of sadness.

"You're sorry?" Kim was incredulous. _What does that mean_? "That's all you can say? Sorry for what?"

Shane sighed slightly. "I'm sorry that things could have ever gotten to this point." He looked at her, hurt and sorrow clear in his eyes. "I'm sorry things are so bad between us that you think I could ever hate you. That you would think that I wouldn't understand."

_He doesn't mean it_, Kim said to herself. _He can't mean it._

He must have read her thoughts, because he said, "How could I hate you for wanting to protect our family? I can't even begin to imagine what kind of torture that must have been. What happened had nothing to do with your past."

"How can you say that?" Kim asked. "Isn't it just like Victor? You never really forgave me for that."

Shane seemed to think for a minute. "Kim . . . I wish I could convince you of how I feel, but my problem with Victor was not about what happened in Miami. Yes, it hurt when I first found out, but I understood why you slept with him. What I couldn't get past was that you lied to me about Andrew, and you would have kept lying to me if I hadn't found out by pure chance. You didn't trust me with the truth. You didn't trust that we'd find a way to deal with the truth. That's what hurt the most."

"And I did the same thing with Jeannie," Kim snapped. "And I didn't tell you about Cal until now?" Kim faced him. "It's been nearly a month. That must make you angry."

Shane looked down at his hands. _See, he's realizing it_, Kim thought. _He knows he can't trust me. _Then he looked back up. "But you did tell me," he said evenly. "Whatever else is going on, you felt like you could tell me and at least give me a chance to deal with it. Isn't that what trusting our love is about? You trusted me enough to tell me. This is not like what happened with Victor . . . or with Jeannie."

Kim was floored. This was not what she expected. She had expected Shane to be angry, to hate her, to push her away.

"You say that now," Kim said, shaking her head. "But down the road, you're going to throw it back in my face. I know you, Shane."

Shane appeared puzzled and frustrated. "Why won't you believe me? Why are you so determined to think the worst of me?" Kim could hear the hurt in his voice.

_Because I can't believe you. Because I don't want to be hurt_. The thought came unbidden. _Because I couldn't bear losing you_. Kim turned away and looked out the window. She could not face him.

The room fell silent once more, before Shane, his voice low and even, asked, "What's really going on, Kim?"

"I told you," she said sharply. "I told you what happened and I know you're going to use it to hurt me."

"You don't know that." Behind her, she heard the sound of the cane click against the wood floor and realized Shane must have stood up from the couch. "You don't know that," he repeated, his voice coming from only a few feet behind her. "You've been holding this in, convincing yourself that when you told me I would hate you. But I don't. I love you."

Kim closed her eyes. _Don't say that_, she wanted to scream. She felt the light touch of Shane's hand on her shoulder.

"This isn't about Cal," Shane said. There was a certainty in his voice that surprised her. "And it's not about your past."

"It is," she insisted. "I'm never going to escape my past."

That certainty was there again. "No, it isn't," Shane said softly. His hand settled on her shoulder, and she could not bear to pull away. "Kim . . . please. . . . I need you to be honest - with me, and with yourself."

Kim had no idea what he meant. "I am being honest." Her tone was more harsh than she intended. "I just told you about Cal, didn't I?"

"I don't want to know about Cal," Shane said. "I want to know about when I was shot."

Kim jerked away. She did not want to think about that. She did not want to talk about it. She shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about."

"I think there is."

She tried to closer her mind to the memories, but she failed. She saw Shane lying, gasping on the floor of the hangar as Kayla tried to staunch the bleeding. Her body turned ice cold, the way she felt at the time.

Then she was in the emergency room, sitting all alone, as Kayla collapsed into Steve's arms. The cold was gone and Kim felt nothing. Then her family was there, people were holding her, and she still felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

"That must have been horrible." Shane's voice interrupted the flood of images and Kim was once again in the library. "Bo told me how scared you were, but I can't imagine how much pain you were in."

"No."

She had not meant to say anything, but the word popped out before she could stop it. _I didn't feel pain_, she told herself.

Shane spoke, his words hesitant. "Please . . . you need to talk about it. You can't just keep it inside."

_He doesn't understand_, she thought. "That's not what I meant. I said no because that's not how I felt." When Shane said nothing, she continued. "I didn't feel like that because I didn't feel any pain," Kim said, forcing her eyes even more tightly closed. Her eyes stung and she could feel a trace of wetness running down her cheek. "It was so much worse than that."

This time, Shane put both hands on her shoulders. "Tell me."

"I . . . I felt empty." Kim could feel more tears flowing. "You were gone. I knew it even before Kayla said anything, and I felt empty inside. It was like . . . it was like my soul had died with you."

Shane did not respond, but his hands gently squeezed her shoulders.

"I've never felt more alone than I did right then," Kim whispered. "Bo and Roman were there . . . Kayla and Steve . . . and I was all alone. There was nothing."

"And you never want to feel like that again?" Although Shane's question was gentle, Kim felt her entire body constrict.

Kim shook her head and could barely manage to breathe out a word. "No."

"I'm so sorry, Kimberly." Shane let go of her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry I put you through that."

She was shaking now.

"How could you do that to me?" she cried. "How could you leave me?"

Sobs ripped through her body. Behind her, Shane was murmuring something, probably something comforting, but she could not hear him through the sound of own cries. Tears rained down her cheeks.

Gripping her tightly, Shane whispered in her ear. "I never . . . God, I never wanted to leave you. . . . I don't ever want to leave you."

Kim turned around in his arms and caught a glimpse of the tears in his eyes before she buried her head against his chest. She clung to him as tightly as he held her. "Promise me," she begged between sobs. "Promise you won't leave again . . . promise you'll stay with me."

Shane did not hesitate. "I'm not going anywhere," he said softly. "I would never leave. I could never leave you."

She continued to cry and kept repeating, "Promise me," as the tears flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks. Shane just held her, his embrace providing the comforting assurance she so desperately needed.

Slowly, Kim began to regain control of herself and she let go of the fear that she had not even realized was there. Her sobs gradually subsided as Shane held her close and ran a hand gently over her back.

"It's okay," he told her. "It's all going to be okay."

Finally, Kim's breathing returned to normal and she pulled away from him a little. She looked at Shane's shirt, which was wet from her tears. She brushed at the wet spots, looked up, and gave Shane an apologetic look, but her apology died on her lips as her eyes locked on his.

He stared down at her, his dark eyes showing signs of tears, even as they shone with concern and undeniable love. Kim's heart began to pound furiously even before Shane raised a hand and tenderly brushed her cheek. Captured by his gaze, she was powerless to resist and she leaned her head into his touch.

"Kim?" Shane asked tentatively, the question plain.

Her tears returned, but this time there was no pain or fear. Her answer was clear in the soft smile she gave him.

The kiss, when it came, began slowly and gently. Kim closed her eyes and her hands rose and buried themselves in Shane's thick hair. She pulled him closer as their kiss increased in intensity. When they broke apart, Kim took a moment to regain her breath and then opened her eyes. In Shane's face, she was surprised to see that he appeared worried.

_He's afraid . . . afraid I'm going to push him away._

"I love you, Shane." Her words were soft and sincere.

Kim watched as smile slowly spread across Shane's face. "I love you too, Kimberly. I love you more than life itself."

She smiled once more and gently caressed his face. As she pulled him close for another kiss, Kim thought, _I could never leave you either._


	432. Chapter 432

Shane watched the flames and smiled. The orange fire flickered before his eyes in an almost hypnotic dance that wove light and heat over the couple sitting in front of the fireplace. As if responding to the moving flames, Kim shifted gently against Shane's chest, murmured unconsciously, and slipped back to sleep.

Stroking her hair lightly, Shane leaned against the end of the couch and watched Kim sleep. The soft light made her skin glow and reflected off the golden highlights in her hair. Her beauty almost took his breath away and he wondered yet again how he had been blessed to have Kim in his life.

For the first time in years, Shane felt complete.

He had tried to deny it for so long, but, without Kim, he was not whole, and could never be. He had tried to pretend otherwise by burying his emotions and letting his walls down just a little to Kayla, but he had known it was not the same. But what he had been unwilling to really face was just how empty his life without Kim was.

_It never has to be like that again._

_No, it never will_, Shane pledged silently. _Whatever it takes, Kim, I'm not letting you go._

He thought again about the night before. Kim had confronted him like she had expected him to reject her and, even after he had told her could never hate her, she had remained defiant. The way she had protested - had refused to even listen to him tell her that what happened with Cal did not matter to him - had finally made him realize the truth.

This time, it was Kim who was running away.

She had convinced herself that she was afraid of being rejected, but that was what she wanted. If Shane had pushed her away, she could have built her own walls and never had to deal with her real fear.

"Nobody's ever going to take me from you." Shane leaned his head close to Kim's and whispered, "You won't ever feel alone like that again, my love."

He closed his eyes and tried to imagine how Kim had felt when she thought he had died. She had described it as feeling empty, but that was a foreign thought to him. Shane had lost loved ones - his parents and Emma - but he had never allowed himself to feel grief. He had just closed off his emotions and moved on in life. Death was also a part of being in the ISA and while Shane never treated the death of an agent cavalierly, part of being an agent was continuing the mission. So while an agent's death would affect him, it did not consume him in the way Kim had described. And that experience with death had probably allowed him to wall himself off from the pain of losing family and friends over the years.

Maybe that had made it so hard for him to see through Kim's facade. Kim was so much closer to her emotions than he had ever been.

So maybe he could not fully know how she felt, but he had managed to make her face her true fear. And, with that, her final wall had crumbled and she had allowed herself to release that fear.

It reminded him of that night before Kim had been taken and how he had broken down in her arms. This time their positions had been reversed, and Shane had held her for what felt like hours as she sobbed and clung to him. And when Kim had no more tears, they had sat in front of the fire, kissing and hugging until, drained, she had finally fallen asleep in his arms.

"Mmmm." Kim murmured again, though she showed no real sign of waking. She shifted and the blanket slipped off her shoulders. Shane lifted his hand and reached around her to pull the blanket back over her.

Behind him, he heard a noise - the sound of a key in the front door, probably Eve returning from Wings. Afraid she would wake Kim, Shane carefully slid away from her, making sure to gently lower Kim's head to the soft rug, and adjusted the blanket around her.

He winced as he stood up. It had been several hours since his last pain pill and his chest and ribs twinged as he moved. In the darkness, he could not recall where he had left the cane, so he walked a bit unsteadily to the library door, reaching it just as Eve removed her coat. She jumped as he entered the foyer.

"Dad!"

Shane held his index fingers to his lips then whispered, "Kim's asleep in there." He motioned to the library as he finished.

Eve smirked a little as she peeked through the door. "In front of the fire?" she asked as he gave him a knowing look.

Shane felt the heat rising in his cheeks.

"Oh, come on, Dad." Eve laughed, then smiled. "I'm happy for you . . . if this really is what you want."

"Eve!"

She giggled, then gave him a light peck on the cheek. "I'm just teasing. I'm glad. I want you to be happy, and you made it clear you want to be with Kim. I'm just glad someone managed to get through to her."

Shane's radar began to ping and he looked at Eve. "Eve, sweetheart, did you say something to Kimberly?"

Eve gave her best innocent look. "Moi? I have no idea what you could possibly mean." She backed away toward the stairs. "Besides, it's late and I need to get some sleep. I'd suggest you do the same, but-"

"Eve!"

"Good night," she said quickly as she raced up the staircase.

Back in the foyer, Shane was left shaking his head. There were some things that he was just not prepared to discuss with his daughter. Still, he had to wonder what Eve might have said to Kim. Or maybe his radar was off and he was just imagining things. That was probably it.

"Shane?" From the library, he heard Kim's sleepy voice. He turned and shuffled slowly back into the library. Kim was standing in the soft light from the fire, the blanket wrapped around her.

"Good morning," he said softly as he spotted her. "Well, not really. . . . It's still the middle of the night."

She smiled as she walked around the couch. Kim stopped in front of him, leaned up, and kissed him. "Thank you."

Confused, Shane asked, "For what?"

"For being here," she said. "For holding me. For making me feel loved."

"I told you. . . . I'm not going anywhere." He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it gently. In the back of his mind, he thought about how he might have picked her up, carried her upstairs, and made love to her for the rest of the night. He felt a slight flash of embarrassment that he could do none of that, but he could see in Kim's eyes that she did not mind.

She reached up and caressed his cheek. "Why don't we go upstairs and get some sleep?" She must have seen his hesitancy, because she raised her fingers to his lips. "I don't care about that. I just want to be home, in our bed, and there's nothing I want more than to wake up in your arms in the morning."

He was powerless to resist, even if he had wanted to. They kissed softly once more before Kim took his hands and led him slowly to the stairs.


	433. Chapter 433

Kayla sighed softly as she parked her car in front of Roman and Marlena's house. The blinds on the front window were open and Kayla caught a glimpse of Roman moving around inside. She smiled, knowing that even after all this time she had been right in guessing that her early rising brother would be up already.

It was a little before 8:00 a.m. and Kayla had left her husband and daughter in the middle of their breakfast, using the excuse of an early morning meeting. Steve had assumed it was a work meeting and Kayla had not corrected him.

Despite Steve's assurances, Kayla had been unable to forget the tense confrontation she had witnessed between Steve and Roman the previous night. She had tried to ask Steve about it when they had returned home from the Halloween party, but he had other things on this mind.

A small smile played on Kayla's lips as she remembered those "other things." She and Steve had spent the night making up for the nights they had missed during his trip to New York. It had made for a tired early morning, but Kayla did not regret the lack of sleep at all.

Kayla shook those thoughts from her mind and focused on the reason for her trip to Roman's house this morning. She had again tried to ask Steve about Roman this morning, but Steve had again changed the subject. It was clear that Steve would not put his wife in the middle of whatever was going on.

As much as she appreciated Steve's desire to shield her, Kayla did not want the conflict to fester. Knowing her brother and her husband, neither was likely to back down, and the last thing the family needed now was to have them fighting.

Taking a deep breath, Kayla exited the car and walked to the door of the house. She knocked softly, not wanting to wake anybody who might still be sleeping.

After a few moments, the door opened and Roman looked at Kayla curiously. "Hey, sis. What are you doing here so early this morning?"

Stepping into the house, Kayla smiled. "I was hoping I could have a chat with my big brother over a cup of coffee."

"Okay," Roman replied. "Marlena took the kids to school this morning, so I could use a little company myself."

He led the way to the kitchen and poured Kayla a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter. He looked at her. "Sugar, no cream . . . right?"

Kayla nodded. "You still remember how I like my coffee."

Roman shrugged. "I guess so. I'm just glad some things haven't changed."

Carrying the mugs of coffee to the table, Roman set one in front of Kayla and then sat down at the table. "So what's on your mind, sis?"

Kayla took a sip of her coffee before answering. Then, deciding that the direct approach was best, she said, "I want to know what was going on with you and Steve last night. And before you tell me it was nothing, I'm not blind, Roman. I know you two were fighting about something."

"Isn't that a question you should be asking your husband?"

"I did ask him," Kayla said with a smirk. "But he wouldn't tell me. So now I'm asking you."

Roman stared at his coffee for a moment, then shrugged. "It's no big deal, Kayla. I don't really know Steve and he doesn't know me." He raised his head to look at Kayla. "Why is it so important anyway?"

Kayla sighed. "It's important because this family has been through a lot in the last year." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "I know it's hard for you because you weren't here, but a lot has happened and it caused a lot of tension within the family." She shrugged. "But things are finally coming back to together again and I don't want anything to ruin that."

"So you're saying that my return is ruining things?" Roman snapped.

"No," Kayla said. "I'm not saying that at all. You coming home is a miracle, Roman." She smiled at her brother. "I just want the whole family to be focused on that miracle, not on anything else. And, call me crazy, but I'd like it if my husband and my big brother weren't at each other's throats all the time."

"Look, Kay," Roman replied. "I know that I was gone a long time, but it's not easy to come home and find out that my baby sister is all grown up."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "I was all grown up when you left, Roman. I wasn't a little girl."

"Maybe not," Roman allowed. "But I always thought you and Kim would be married to doctors or lawyers or something." He shrugged. "Instead, I come home and find out Kim was married to an ISA-agent-turned-traitor and you're married to guy with a criminal record."

Kayla took a deep breath, trying to control her temper. She knew that Roman had always been protective of her and Kim, often overly so. She also knew his comments were a reflection of that protective instinct more than anything else.

"I know you're convinced that the ISA are still the good guys, but you need to understand some things." She stared at Roman. "Shane is not a traitor. He risked his life, and his freedom, to rescue Steve from a horrible man." She took another deep breath. "And I know all about Steve's past, but he's not the same man anymore. He's a good man, a good husband, and a wonderful father."

"I know that is what you believe, Kayla-" Roman started to say.

"No!" Kayla interrupted. "It's the truth. Shane did what he had to do to save my husband and Steve has worked hard to put his past behind him." Kayla felt her temper rising. "I can't believe you are going to believe the ISA's lies over your own family."

"Why not?" Roman shot back. "My family believed an imposter over me."

The fire left Kayla and she felt her body sag as she heard the anger and hurt in her brother's voice. "I'm sorry about that, Roman. I really am." She looked at Roman, her eyes pleading for understanding. "But the ISA doesn't care about this family. You can't trust them."

Roman shook his head. "I worked as an agent for the ISA for years, Kayla. I know the agency is not perfect. But I refuse to believe they would frame a loyal agent. There has to be more to the story."

Kayla felt her heart sink at Roman's words. "Why won't you believe me, Roman?"

Roman expression grew harder. "I love you, sis. But you and the rest of the family were fooled by an imposter for five years. And from what I understand, both Shane Donovan and your husband were involved with that imposter before he began claiming to be me." He stared at Kayla. "I have a hard time believing all of that was just a coincidence."

Kayla eyes widened as she realized what Roman was saying. "You think Shane and Steve knew that John was not really Roman Brady?"

Roman shrugged. "I'm saying there are a lot of unanswered questions and the more I look, the more I find that John, Shane, and Steve were working together."

Kayla stared at her brother. "Of course they were working together. John thought he was you - a police officer and former ISA agent. Shane worked for the ISA. Steve worked for the ISA and the Salem PD."

Roman shook his head. "It's all too convenient, Kayla. Thanks to Shane, the ISA never questioned whether John was really Roman Brady. Thanks to John and Shane, the ISA and Salem PD let a man with a long criminal past and questionable loyalties work for them."

"That's enough!" Kayla shouted angrily, standing up from the table. She looked down at her brother. "I'm not going to sit here and let you make those accusations."

Roman stood as well. "I'm sorry, Kay. All I know is that I was kept from my family for seven years and, for five of those years, somebody was pretending to be me. Something like that doesn't happen by accident and without a lot of work. And as much as I love you and Kim and Bo, the three of you are hardly objective about any of this."

Kayla shook her head. "I love you, Roman. You're my big brother. I can't imagine how hard it's been to come home and find things so very different from when you left. I understand that you want answers and want somebody to pay for what happened." She sighed softly. "But you're looking for enemies in all the wrong places, Roman."

"Maybe," Roman said dismissively. "But until I have my answers, I can't afford to rule anything out."

Kayla knew there was nothing more she could say. If her brother was insisting on fighting imaginary battles, she could not stop him.

"Thanks for the coffee," she said, giving him a kiss on his cheek. "I hope you find the answers you need. But just think about one thing, please?"

"What's that?" Roman asked.

"You might have a better shot at getting those answers if you trusted Steve, Shane, and John."

Roman did not respond, so Kayla shrugged and said, "All right, I guess that's how it has to be."

She walked to the front door with Roman trailing behind. When she reached the door, she felt Roman's hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him.

"I'm sorry that I upset you, Kay." Kayla could hear the sincerity in his voice.

She nodded. "I know. Take care, Roman."

"You too, sis."

Kayla walked out the door and headed back to her car. She loved her brother dearly, but she knew how wrong he was this time. She just hoped that Roman would realize that before the family was torn apart by his suspicions.


	434. Chapter 434

Kim yawned as she slowly came awake. It took her a moment to recognize the bedroom, but then she became aware that her head was resting on Shane's chest and one of his arms was wrapped around her. The realization that the night before was not a dream brought a smile to her face.

She could still feel Shane's arms around her as they held each other in front of the fire. Kim had needed to be held, needed the reassurance that he was there and would not leave her again.

It had amazed her to realize how she had tricked herself. Here she was a trained therapist and she had been unable to see that what was paralyzing her was not some worry about how Shane would react to Cal, but her subconscious fear about what might happen if she let herself love Shane again. Cal and her past were a way for her to test Shane - a test that she thought he would fail - and with his failure, she could close her heart to him and never be hurt.

_Stupid, Kimmie. Really stupid. _

She shook her head at the thought and the movement got Shane's attention. His hand lightly brushed the side of her head, drawing some of the hair from her face. Tilting her head, she was able to look into his eyes.

"Good morning," he said softly.

Kim responded with her own smile, yawned, and turned again so that the back of her head was once more resting on his chest. "A wonderful morning." She felt Shane's chest rise as he laughed a little, then tense as he let out a tight gasp. Immediately, Kim pulled away and spun around. "God, I'm sorry." She started to move further away, but Shane grabbed her arm.

"It's okay," he assured her.

"But I hurt you. . . . I wasn't thinking. Here you are, still recovering from being shot and I'm treating you like a human pillow."

Shane's laugh turned into a slight grimace, but he held her arm tight and looked her in the eye. "Did you hear me complaining?"

Kim sighed as she faced him. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"I couldn't possibly be hurting right now," he said, smiling. He let go of her arm and raised his hand to her cheek. She melted into his touch. "I want to wake up like this every morning, human pillow or not." He paused and looked down at her nightgown and then at his pajama top. "Well maybe not exactly like this. . . . We are a little overdressed."

Kim giggled. "You're terrible. You-" She broke off as she saw the time out of the corner of her eye. "Oh my god . . . it's already past nine. I should have been at the hospital already."

"Can't you say you've got a patient who needed a house-call?" He gave her a saucy grin.

"You really are terrible," Kim said, rolling her eyes. Then, more seriously, she added, "I would love to stay here with you."

He nodded. "But duty calls. I know."

She took his hand from her cheek and then kissed it. "I promise I'll come home right after work." She pulled away and headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Behind her, she heard the rustle of sheets as Shane got out of bed. "I'll at least make sure you have some coffee ready."

About ten minutes later, Kim emerged, dressed and ready for the day. She hesitated as she left the room, wondering if she could get away with calling in sick. With a sigh, she decided to be good and go to work, so she headed downstairs. She heard Shane's voice coming out of the library just as she reached the bottom of the staircase. He sounded agitated.

"Simmons, where is it?"

"I'm not sure, sir," Simmons said. "Did you return it to the safe?"

Curious, Kim peeked into the library. Shane was standing at the desk, a pile of papers scattered across the top.

"No, it wasn't in the safe," Shane said. "I took it out . . . the day of the birthday party for Jeannie." He looked down at what Kim assumed was the desk drawer. "Where the devil did it go? Tell me I didn't lose it, Simmons."

"I doubt you did, sir. Your mother's broach is not the kind of thing you - of all people - would misplace."

Kim smiled as she realized what was going on. She pulled her head back and tried not to giggle as she heard the desk drawers open and close. For a moment, she debated making Shane stew a little, but decided that would be heartless. So she turned, raced upstairs, and, after finding what she was looking for, returned to the foyer. In the library, Shane was still turning the desk drawers inside out.

Unable to help herself, Kim put on her best innocent expression as she stepped into the library. "Looking for something?"

Shane's cheek turned slightly red, but he shook his head. "No." At her dubious look, he said, "Okay, but it's nothing. Just some papers I needed for the physical therapist."

She almost believed him; he sounded that convincing. It amazed Kim that Shane could be such a good liar, but years of practice with the ISA had trained him well. "I see," she said, a purposeful edge to her voice as she glanced over to the wall panel where the safe was hidden. The panel was open. "You normally keep your physical therapy documents in the safe?"

The red crept a little higher in Shane's cheeks. "I . . . I . . ." he stuttered.

Kim decided to have mercy and pulled the cameo out of her pocket. "You were looking for this?"

Shane's eyes went wide. "How? I mean-"

"How did I get it?" Kim asked. Shane seemed to hesitate and he ran a hand through his hair. Kim was not sure whether to laugh or cry. "You really don't remember?" she asked.

"What am I supposed to remember?" Shane looked confused as Kim walked toward him.

She stopped a few feet from the desk and looked down at the jewel in her hand. _He doesn't remember. _That left her ambivalent. On the one hand, she could understand. He had been hurt and in pain; Kim could hardly expect him to be aware of what he said. But on the other hand, she could not stifle the little voice that wondered how he could forget something that supposedly was so important.

"You told Kayla to give it to me," Kim said. She waited for a reaction.

Shane just pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, as he often did when puzzled. "I told Kayla. . . . I know she knew where I'd left it, but I don't remember. . . . When. . . ." Shane looked up as the realization hit him. "Oh."

He closed the drawer and leaned against the desk.

Kim held out the cameo. "I guess I should have said something about it."

Shane stared at the broach, but he seemed lost in thought. Was he thinking about the airplane hangar? Or the hospital? The night before, they had talked about her experiences when Shane had been shot, but not about what he had felt. She wondered what, if anything, he remembered.

Not wanting to broach that subject, she said, with a touch of sadness, "You're welcome to have it back." As she finished, she placed the cameo on the desk. When he said nothing, she sighed and turned away. "I'd better get to the hospital."

"Wait," Shane said just as Kim took her first step toward the foyer. She turned back to see that he had picked up the cameo. He was studying it and did not say anything at first. Eventually, slowly, he said, "My mother always said this cameo created a connection between her and my father."

"Not even war could keep them apart." Kim smiled, remembering the story that Shane had told her shortly after he had given her the cameo. "You told me."

Still holding the cameo, Shane moved around the desk approached her. "I was thinking about what you said . . . about how you felt when you thought. . . ."

_When I thought you died_, Kim finished the words he seemed unable to say.

"My mother always said that when I gave this to the woman I loved, we'd have the same connection." Shane ran a finger over the carved figure on the broach. "And I believed that for a time. But then you left, and I convinced myself that those kind of connections aren't real. At least . . . not for me."

Kim smiled softly. "I think your mother knew you pretty well."

"Enough to know what kind of woman I'd fall in love with." Shane's eyes seemed to glaze over as if he were lost in thought. "You would have loved my mother, Kim." He focused again and looked at her. "And I know she would have adored you . . . and our children."

Kim stepped forward so that she could reach out and take his hand in hers. "I know I adore her son." She looked down at the cameo. "But it doesn't take a piece of jewelry to know what we have. We are connected. I've known that . . . . When you're in danger or you're hurt, I can feel it." Kim raised her head and her eyes locked on his. "I told you how I felt when I thought you died, but I didn't tell you how it felt when you came back. I knew it. Even before Marcus told us, I knew. I could feel you. I knew you were alive and it was like I could breathe again."

The room fell silent. Neither she nor Shane pulled away. Kim continued to hold his hand, which still clutched the cameo.

"You may not remember," Kim said. "But you wanted me to have this. That's what you told Kayla, to make sure I had that so I knew how you felt." Kim felt tears begin to sting her eyes. "That should have been all it took to make me know you loved me." She closed her eyes. "I did know. . . . I was just so afraid and I couldn't even see it. I'm so sorry-"

"Stop," Shane said gently. His voice was soft and she could hear his concern. "That's over. There's nothing to be sorry about." A small smile played on his lips. "Do you remember how long it took for us to finally admit that we loved each other? That we were such fools for hiding behind our walls. . . . I guess we just had to repeat some of those mistakes, but I think our love is stronger for it. No . . . I know it's stronger."

With his free hand, he reached up and tenderly brushed a tear from her cheek. Kim could see the love and devotion in his eyes.

"Now why don't you let me do this properly," Shane said. He lifted the broach. "Maybe this didn't create what exists between us, but it is symbol of our love. And it belongs with you forever."

Kim could hardly breathe as Shane placed the cameo above her breast and pinned it to her jacket. The latch closed with a tiny click. Shane smoothed the surrounding fabric and smiled.

"There."

Kim looked down to see the cameo fastened in place and lifted her hand to touch it. As she touched the stone, she felt so happy and content, like everything was perfect. It was as if the chaos that had filled their lives had been swept away. None of that mattered now.

She looked back up at Shane and tried to remember everything she could about this moment - the way his eyes shone, the sound of her own heartbeat, and the soft touch of his hands as they cupped her face and drew her into his deep, passionate kiss.

Losing herself in Shane's kiss, Kim heard the echo of his words about the cameo - "_it belongs with you forever._" As they pulled apart, she felt a rush of joy as she looked into Shane's eyes and said, "And I belong with you, Shane Donovan. Forever."


	435. Chapter 435

I said a few chapters ago that I wanted to respond to some of the comments about this story's portrayal of Kim, but I want to start with something else. Although this story is being posted under the name 80sDaysFan, this story actually is co-written by two people. On most Days-related sites, we post as jwsel and esp13. jwsel is a huge Shane/Kim fan, while esp13 is a devoted Steve/Kayla fan. But what is important to understand is that we both love all four characters, we both write all four characters in this story, and we both share, with minor quibbles, the same view of the characters.

Going back to the subject of Kim, we hope by now that it is a little easier to understand why Kim approached Shane the way she did after the Halloween party and why she used the words that she used. Her subconscious fear of Shane dying led her to push Shane away, and she did so in the most provocative, hurtful way she could. In our minds, this is consistent with the classic scene in the police station after Andrew is kidnapped where Kim forces Shane to call her a whore. She insists that he can't overcome her past. He says her past is her obsession; she uses it to push people away so she won't be hurt by a relationship. (If you've never seen this scene, treat yourself and go to YouTube and search for "Kim and Shane -Kidnapping SL" posted by lovingshane.)

As should be clear from the story, we think there is some truth to what both Kim and Shane said in that scene. It took a long time for Shane to admit that he was unable to let Kim's past go. But he finally did so, just before Kim was kidnapped.

The scenes after the Halloween part between Shane and Kim reflected her turn to accept the truth of what Shane has said in that conversation - that she used her past as a protective barrier. Terrified of losing Shane, Kim tried to use what happened with Cal to goad him into saying something negative, which she had convinced herself would prove he cannot get over the past and justify her rejecting him. If he had failed that test, she could have walked away and would never have had to face being hurt if Shane really did die. Thankfully, Shane passed her test and saw through what she was doing. We hope that is now clear.

Finally, we want to address the idea that we hate Kim or are Kim-bashers because she sometimes thinks of herself in harsh terms or other people say bad things about her character. Did Kim's words suggest that is truly how she thinks of herself or how we, the authors, think of Kim. As to the latter, definitely not. As to the former, we say, "sort of." We see Kim as a realist, who admits her past, accepts it, and has moved on. We don't think she is ashamed about her past anymore; she has put it behind her and that means she can talk frankly about being a prostitute without shame.

Kim, like the other characters in this story, is not perfect. All of these characters have flaws. They say and do stupid things. They sometimes say - and even think - things that they don't really believe. They also sometimes delude themselves. So readers should not always assume that what a character says or thinks is 100% accurate. They are expressing one point-of-view. More importantly, what a character may say or think does not mean that the authors agree. Lawrence believes he is God's gift, so that is how he thinks of himself. The authors think Lawrence is a narcissistic sociopath with delusions of grandeur. Just as we doubt you think we agree with everything Lawrence says or thinks, please understand that the same is sometimes true of the main characters.

We think it is important to make clear that we do love those characters. They are well-intentioned, caring, and would do just about anything to help the others and their friends and families. They also are stubborn and bull-headed, and sometimes need someone else to knock some sense into them. That complexity and those flaws is why we are having so much fun exploring the main characters.

We recognize that not everyone may share our view of these characters. But just because your opinions might differ from ours does not mean that we don't love and respect these characters. Certainly, we would not have spent the past year and a half of our lives writing this story if we did not love them. And we thank you for joining us so far as we share our views and love for these characters with you.

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The pier was quiet as Steve leaned against a piling and stared out at the water. From his vantage point, he could see ships being loaded and unloaded farther down the harbor.

Steve could not count the number of hours he had spent in this exact place, staring out over the water, looking for something - clarity, inspiration, or maybe even divine inspiration. He sighed softly. He could certainly use any one of those things now.

Since his meeting with Nowicki in New York, he had racked his brain for some solution to the apparently unsolvable puzzle of how to prove that Shane was set up by the ISA without asking somebody to take Shane's place in prison.

Once again, Nowicki's drunken words echoed in Steve' mind. "_You find a way to do that . . . 'n' stop those bastards . . . let me know. . . . see what I can do. . . ._" Steve knew Nowicki meant what he said. If Steve could come up with a plan, Nowicki and Deakins would help.

The problem was that Steve was not coming up with a plan. Every way he looked was blocked by the fact that somebody would have to testify and, consequently, end up in trouble.

"Dammit," he snapped in frustration as he kicked the piling. He was not going to let Tarrington win this one.

"Taking out your frustrations on an innocent piece of wood?"

Steve spun around and saw Jack approaching. Taking a deep breath, Steve nodded. "Something like that. What are you doing down here Billy Jack? Slumming?"

Jack ignored Steve's jibe and continued walking towards his brother. "I'm glad I ran into you." He stopped when he reached Steve. "I've been wondering if you had gotten any information from Abe?"

Steve stared at Jack in confusion. "Information about what?"

"About Alamain," Jack replied. "When we talked a couple of weeks ago, you said you would check with Abe and find out if the Salem PD had any information about where he was hiding."

Steve mentally kicked himself for forgetting. "I'm sorry, Jack. With everything that's happened recently, I haven't had a chance to talk to Abe."

Jack looked disappointed and then shrugged. "I guess things probably have been a little crazy with Roman Brady returning from the-" He paused. "Well, I guess he wasn't really thought to be dead was he?"

Steve shook his head. "No he wasn't. And yes, it has been a little crazy." He checked his watch. "I'll go over to the cop shop right now. I'll see what information I can get from Abe and get back to you, okay?"

Jack nodded. "I appreciate it. I think just having some kind of solid information would help Jennifer. She's still pretty worried."

Steve knew that it was more likely that Jack was worried, but he understood. Jack wanted to protect Jennifer just as much as Steve wanted to protect Kayla.

Clapping Jack on the shoulder, Steve headed for the stairs. "I'll be in touch if I get any information." He quickly climbed the stairs and walked to his car. It only took a couple of minutes to reach the station and park outside.

Entering the station, Steve looked around, hoping to see Abe. Kayla had told him that Roman had been reinstated and Steve wanted to avoid another run-in with his brother-in-law if he could. Steve could not help but be a little irritated that Roman had been reinstated so easily after a seven year absence, particularly when Steve's reinstatement request had been rejected.

The officers at the front desk recognized Steve and did not question him as he headed towards the offices in the back. Reaching Abe's door, Steve knocked softly, hoping Abe was alone.

"Come in," he heard Abe call. Steve opened the door and found Abe at his desk. "Steve," Abe said in surprise. "What brings you by?"

Steve closed the door behind him. "I'm looking for some information about Lawrence Alamain."

Abe's eyes narrowed. "What kind of information?"

"Where he is, for starters," Steve replied as he sat down in a chair across from Abe's desk. "And how sure you are that he really is where you think he is."

Abe sighed. "You know I can't give you that information, Steve. It's confidential."

Steve snorted. "Confidential? Come on, Abe. This is me. Steve Johnson. You know what that man did to me and my family. Don't tell me it's confidential."

Steve could tell Abe was wavering and pressed on. "I'm not trying to find out how you know anything or where the information comes from. I just want to know where he is and if you have any idea of what he is planning."

"Don't answer that question, Abe."

Steve turned to see Roman standing in the doorway. His shoulders sagged as he saw the smug look on Roman's face. There was no question that Steve was not going to get the information he wanted today.

"If Johnson's looking for information, he should be asking the commander of the department," Roman said walking towards where Abe and Steve were sitting. "And that's me."

Steve bristled at Roman's tone, but decided to play along. "All right, Commander Brady. Can you tell me where Lawrence Alamain is hiding out these days?"

"No." Roman smiled humorlessly. "As Abe told you, that information is confidential. But you can rest assured that the Salem police department is monitoring the situation."

Steve failed to stop himself from rolling his eye. "Monitoring the situation?" he repeated sarcastically. "There is a psychopath out there who would love nothing more than to destroy my family - your family - and you're 'monitoring the situation.' That makes me feel so much better."

"I've reviewed the files on Lawrence Alamain," Roman said formally. "I'm fully aware of his conviction for raping Jennifer Hort- Deveraux."

Steve shook his head. "That's only one of his many crimes. Does the file tell you about how he tried to kill Bo by blowing up the boat? How he kept Frankie Brady prisoner? How he tried to kill Bo and Kayla, not to mention a bunch of other people in his country? And, not that it would matter to you, but how he faked my death and kept me prisoner for a year?"

Steve saw Roman glance at Abe, as if looking for confirmation. Abe nodded slightly in return. For a moment Steve was hopeful that Roman might change his mind. But that hope was quickly dashed.

"Regardless," Roman finally said. "I cannot share confidential information with someone who is not a member of this department." His eyes narrowed. "You may have gotten used to procedure being ignored around here, but that's not going to happen anymore."

Steve's heart sank. It was clear that Roman's continued anger and resentment outweighed everything. Nonetheless, he gave it one last try.

"I'm not trying to interfere with police procedure," Steve said calmly. "I just want to make sure that Alamain doesn't take us by surprise. I want to keep Kayla safe. You can understand that."

"Don't worry, Johnson," Roman replied dismissively. "I have no intention of letting any harm come to my family." He stared pointedly at Steve. "From anyone."

Steve shook his head and stood, knowing there was no point in continuing the conversation. He walked to the door and then stopped and looked back at Roman.

"I know what it's like to come home and find everything has changed," he said softly. "And I know what it's like to be angry at everyone and everything because of it." He stared at Roman. "But I also know that you can do a lot of damage holding onto that anger. Just think about that."

Without waiting for a response, Steve walked out of the door. He would try to get in touch with Abe privately later, although he doubted it would do much good. If Steve was going to get information about Lawrence, it was not going to come from the Salem PD.


	436. Chapter 436

Kim sat at her desk, reviewing her files. Or rather, she was attempting to review her files. She could not seem to concentrate for more than a few moments, because her mind kept drifting back to the previous night and morning.

She still could not believe that she and Shane had finally found their way back together. Her fingers drifted to her collar as she gently touched the cameo still pinned there. _It wasn't a dream_.

A knock at the door brought Kim back to the present. "Come in," she called and then smiled broadly as her sister walked in the door.

"Is this a bad time?" Kayla asked as she closed the door behind her.

"Of course not," Kim said, as she stood and walked over to hug her sister. "What can I do for my baby sister?"

Kayla embraced Kim, then pulled back, and stared closely at Kim's face. Kayla's eyes narrowed as she studied Kim, but then Kayla broke out into a big smile.

"Well, I wanted to stop by and see how things went after you went home last night, but judging by the glow in your cheeks, the smile on your face, and the cameo pinned to your collar, I'm guessing things went pretty well."

Kim laughed and led her sister to the chairs by her desk. "Things went wonderfully well."

Kayla's smile grew even bigger. "Oh, Kim, I'm so happy for you. I knew Shane would understand about what happened with Cal."

Kim's smile faded slightly. "Yes, he did understand. In fact, he understood things a lot better than I did."

Raising a brow, Kayla gave a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

Kim sighed. "When I went home, I was so convinced that once I told Shane what happened, he would reject me and that would be the end." She shook her head at her own foolishness. "But what Shane made me understand was that it wasn't about me being afraid of his rejection; it was about me needing a reason to reject him."

"I don't understand." Kayla still looked puzzled. "Why would you want a reason to reject Shane? I know how much you love him."

Kim nodded. "I do love him. So much that it scares me sometimes. And that was the real problem. After all that's happened to us, and almost losing him when he was shot by Cal, I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Kayla asked.

"Afraid of opening my heart to him again and . . . and of then losing him again," Kim said. "I realized I was using Cal as an excuse. If I could convince myself that Shane would never understand or forgive me, then I didn't have a reason to risk opening myself to him again."

Kayla seemed to think a moment. "And now?"

"And now I realize that I can't let that fear keep me from a second chance at making a life with the man I love and our children," Kim said, momentarily grinning, but the grin faded as she continued in a more somber tone. "I'm still scared, Kay. . . . I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him again."

"I know that feeling." Kayla's tone matched Kim's. "Some days, it's all I can do not to beg Steve to never leave the apartment."

"How do you stop yourself?" Kim asked, genuinely interested in how her sister dealt with her own fears.

Kayla shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't always been good about it. But as scared as I am of losing him again, I know that I can't ask him to lock himself away."

Kim smiled wryly at the irony in Kayla's words. Shane was scheduled to go to trial in December. Absent a miracle, there was a very good chance that Shane would actually be locked away.

Pushing that thought away, Kim nodded in agreement with her sister. "It's hard to love a man who seems to live for adventure and action." She chuckled softly. "Why couldn't they have been doctors or lawyers or boring businessmen?"

Kayla laughed. "Can you imagine Steve and Shane as 'normal' businessmen?" Kim saw her sister's expression grow pensive as Kayla added quietly, "Although I guess that would have made Roman happier."

"Roman?" Kim was confused. "What does that mean?"

Kayla shook her head and sighed. "I stopped by to see Roman this morning. I wanted to talk to him about something that happened at Ma and Pop's last night."

"What happened?"

"After you left, I was helping Ma with the caramel apples and I saw Roman and Steve talking. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could tell by their expressions that it was an argument." Kayla looked at Kim. "I tried to ask Steve about it, but he just kept changing the subject. So I went to Roman."

"What did Roman say?" Kim asked.

"He still wouldn't tell me much about his argument with Steve, but he made it clear that he doesn't trust Shane or Steve." Kayla took a deep breath. "He basically accused them both of conspiring with John to help him pretend to be Roman."

"You're kidding?" Kim was shocked. "How could he believe something like that?"

"I don't know for sure, but I think he's been getting information from the ISA," Kayla said. "And he's still hurt by the fact that we didn't believe him when he first came back. You put those things together and Roman's convinced that there's some big conspiracy at hand."

Kim sighed. "I guess you couldn't convince him otherwise, huh?"

Kayla shook her head. "I tried, but he wasn't listening. He even thinks there is more to what happened when Shane rescued Steve because there is just no way the ISA would frame an innocent man."

"I guess it was too much to hope that things might finally get back to normal for this family," Kim said sadly.

"It looks that way," Kayla agreed. Then she smiled and spoke in a lighter tone. "But we can't let Roman's suspicions overshadow everything. We need to focus on the good things we have and just hope that Roman comes around soon."

Kim nodded and returned Kayla's smile. It was just like her sister to always try to look on the bright side of things. And Kim had to admit, her life suddenly had a lot of bright sides. Tonight, she would go home to the man she loved and spend the evening together with their children. And when the kids were asleep, she would join Shane in their bed. After all their time apart, Kim could not think of anything better than that.


	437. Chapter 437

There have been some interesting comments to say the least. We have read them all and wanted to acknowledge everyone, even those who hate the story.

Anonymous, anonymous2, Vespone, vm658, and stampinadmin: Thank you for your support. We may not all share the same views of the characters, but we appreciate that you are willing to consider ours with open minds.

A: You do make a fair point about Roman having some credible reasons for not trusting John. We have tried to acknowledge that he has reasons to be upset and actually understand why he mistrusts John, Shane and Steve, but we still don't think the other main characters would reject John after what they had gone through with him. We can see why you disagree with our depiction of Roman, but we feel that his actions are consistent with what he was like in 1991, and the responses of the main characters are true to who they are.

Turning to Kim, we had Cal kidnap Kim and Kayla as a twist on canon. He kidnapped Kim in 1990, and he tried again in 1991, and there was no logical reason why he would not try something similar in our timeline, particularly when nobody else even realized he was free. We did choose to make the kidnapping less cartoonish than the show did, because we thought that was much more in keeping with who Cal was in the original run. We don't really view the kidnapping as a repeat of the show, given the circumstances of the kidnapping were different, Cal was far more ruthless, his plans were different, and everything Kim, Kayla, Shane, and Steve did in connection with the kidnapping was different. But if you see that as a repeat, so be it.

With respect to putting Kim in the position of having to agree to go with Cal, we did do it to prove a point. We did it so that Kim's past would become an issue for her and Shane once more. We did it to show that Kim has reached the point where she could tell Shane instead of keeping secrets, because she trusts their love. You may be right that there were other ways she could do that, but we also wanted to show that Shane also has changed. For all his talk about putting Kim's past behind her, these events put Shane's words to the test - and he passed. We felt the best way to show those changes was to put Kim in a position where she would be was forced to make a decision that mirrored Miami, but for her's and Shane's responses to be different.

suzyQusie: You've made your feelings plain. We do find it mind-boggling that you kept reading a story you so obviously hated. According to the Book Genome Project, the average novel is approximately 100,000 words. Our story so far, is around 600,000 words, so you read about six novels worth of a story that you hate. You deserve credit for persistence at least.

Finally, just a note about our posting. We have been posting at almost a daily rate. Due to some RL issues, we need to slow things down a little, so we will be posting new chapters every other day. We had hoped to avoid this, but it is necessary and we delayed it as long as we could so that at least Shane and Kim would reunite before we changed the posting schedule.

Now back to the story.

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"The incision looks like it's healing pretty nicely," Marcus said as he tugged the last piece of the stitches free from Shane's skin. The long red scar was still visible, but it no longer had the black stitches jutting out of it. Just to the left of the long scar was a smaller, round scar left by the bullet from Cal Winters' gun.

Shane waited patiently while Marcus pulled over some equipment. He lifted a tube with a mouthpiece and told Shane to put it in his mouth.

"Take a deep breath," Marcus ordered. "Hold it. . . . Now, as hard as you can, let it out."

Shane winced as he blew. The sharp pain jabbed at his chest and he almost doubled over. Marcus grabbed a hold of him, perhaps afraid he might tumble off the examining table.

"I . . . I'm okay," Shane gasped.

Marcus helped him back up. "I'm sorry. I know it hurts, but I have to see how your breathing is." He examined the results of the test and pursed his lips before looking back at Shane. "The good news is that your FVC and FEV have improved since your release. That's the total amount of air you can exhale and the amount you can exhale in one second."

"And the bad news?" Shane could tell from Marcus' tone that it was coming.

With a sigh, Marcus said, "Both are still well below normal. Your FVC, the total capacity, is about half what one would expect of a man of your age and size - and that's just a normal man, not one who has gone through a lot of physical training. I wish I had a baseline test to use for comparison, but you were in very good shape according to your past medical records."

"So are you saying I won't recover?"

"No." Marcus shook his head. "I didn't say that. You're probably recovering as expected. I guess I'd just hoped things might progress faster. Your physical therapist says you've been working hard - maybe too hard."

Shane could feel the familiar frustration rising in him and his voice rose sharply. "What else can I do? If I don't push myself, how am I going to get better?"

"Hey, I understand, Shane." Marcus gave a sympathetic look. "But you're recovering from serious trauma. Your lungs were damaged and your heart stopped. You can't expect to get over that in just a few weeks. It's what. . . ." Marcus checked his clipboard. "It's just five weeks since you were shot."

With a frustrated sigh, Shane nodded. "I know. It's just I'd like to get to the point where climbing the staircase without stopping is something I don't even think about. Yesterday, I managed to walk from the foyer to the garden gate, but I still got winded about halfway."

"It's hard, I know." Marcus set down his clipboard and ordered Shane to stand up. He watched Shane rise to his feet. "You don't seem unsteady. Walk to the door and back." When Shane did as ordered, Marcus said, "I don't think you need the cane anymore."

"So that's one good thing, I guess," Shane muttered.

Marcus chuckled. "And I thought doctors made the worst patients. I'll have to remember to put 'secret agents' above them in the hierarchy." At Shane's scowl, Marcus laughed a little harder. "You're only proving my point."

"Okay, okay," Shane said. "I'll be patient. I just want to feel something approximating normal. Is it that bad that I'm impatient about wanting to be able to hold my daughter or do something with my son other than sit around and play chess?"

_And make love to Kimberly_, he added silently. The last few days of waking up next to Kim and being physically unable to love her had been torture.

"Yeah, I heard about that," Marcus replied, startling Shane into thinking he had said his last thought aloud. Then Marcus added, "Kim's told me Andrew's turning into a veritable Bobby Fischer."

Partly grateful that he had not slipped, but still frustrated, Shane said, "That's not the point."

Marcus held up his hands. "I know, Shane. You've just got to give it time. Now that you're past the initial recovery, you're going to get stronger and you'll probably improve a lot faster. Just be patient and don't overdo it. In a couple of months, you should be able to do everything you want."

_A couple of months._ That was hard for Shane to hear. In little over a month, he would be in trial. By the time a couple of months came, either he would be a free man or locked away for several years. He decided not to mention that, but just gave Marcus a resigned nod. "Okay. . . . A couple of months."

A few minutes later, Shane followed Marcus out of the examining room. Stopping at the nurse's station, Shane asked the nurse to check if Kim was free. He smiled at the hope she could take a quick break. In a way, it reminded him of when they first fell in love and how just the thought of seeing Kim made him giddy. He felt that same joy now, but it was short-lived when the nurse reported that Kim was seeing a patient.

Disappointed, Shane figured there was no reason to wait since he would see Kim at home later. Simmons was downstairs with the car, so Shane headed for the elevator. However, he was only partially to the elevator when he was stopped by a woman's voice.

"Hello, Captain Donovan. Or should I say 'ex-Captain.'"

Turning in the woman's direction, Shane forced a placid smile to his face and made no attempt to curtail his sarcasm. "Ms. Knight. . . . What a pleasant surprise."

"I'm sure it is." Rachel appeared completely oblivious to his distaste. In a sickly sweet tone, she said, "It's nice to see you back on your feet. Perhaps you'd like to give an interview to let the public know about your experience."

Shane's eyes narrowed. "Oh, are you out of stories fed to you by the ISA? You've pretty much run through my entire family. Although I guess there's still Andrew, but he is only five."

Rachel placed her hand in the pocket of her leather jacket - a movement that made him wary that she had a hidden tape recorder tucked away - and leaned against the nurse's station. She gave him a sly smile. "Oh I wouldn't say I'm out of stories."

Thinking she might be recording him, Shane warned himself about reacting strongly. "Of course, you do," he said. "I guess I'll just have to be surprised."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "With the miraculous return of the real Roman Brady to Salem, there are a lot of unanswered questions about your role in what happened to him."

Shane felt his fake smile falter, but he forced himself to remain cool. The Brady family already was struggling with Roman's return. They did not need to relive that betrayal they felt at Shane's decision to pull Drew out of Stefano's clutches.

"No comment?" Rachel asked. "You don't want to tell your side of the story before the world finds out that you chose to save your brother over a hero like Roman Brady? Ironic, isn't it, that your brother turned out to be a traitor? I guess it must run in the family."

_Don't react_, he told himself. _Don't give her what she wants._ Shane was actually glad that he had turned over the cane to Marcus since he might have been tempted to give Rachel a few thumps with it. The cane was exactly what the reporter needed and it would have given Shane deep satisfaction, but he would never have heard the end of it from Mickey. _Or Kim._ Shane took a deep breath. "My work for the ISA is classified, so I cannot divulge any information about that subject. It's unfortunate that my former colleagues don't seem to share the same respect for the agency's standards of confidentiality." He gave her a tight smile. "Now, if you would excuse me, my driver is waiting."

As he walked away, he heard Rachel's smug laugh. Keeping stone-faced, he reached the elevator and waited anxiously for the doors to open. Finally, they did and he got inside. Once the doors were closed, he slumped against the wall.

Just when things seemed to be improving, his family would have to endure another blow. Rachel's article would feed Roman's mistrust and Shane feared Kim would have to take sides against her brother.

The elevator doors opened, Shane headed for the exit, and found Simmons waiting outside with the car. Once inside, Shane stared out the window and asked himself when he and Kim would find the peace they deserved.

He knew this was all part of Tarrington's campaign to force Shane to plead guilty. Maybe that would be for the best. A guilty plea might end this nightmare and spare his family further shame.

But Shane reminded himself that pleading guilty would mean leaving Kim and his children for three years at the very least. _Can you do that_? he asked himself, even though he knew the answer. _Not unless there's absolutely no other choice_.

He let out a loud sigh as he pictured having to tell Kim about this latest assault on their family, but then he remembered what he had said when he had pinned the cameo on her lapel. Their love was stronger than it ever had been. It would bring them through this. It had to.


	438. Chapter 438

Kayla checked her watch as she set down the last of the patient records. 4:45 and she was now off-duty.

She glanced around the new Trauma Center, which had opened only a few days earlier. "Tom Horton's pride and joy" was what people were calling it, and Kayla was thrilled that she could be a part of it.

After so many months as an administrator at the Immunology Lab and then, dealing with her suspension and the kidnapping, Kayla was enjoying her return to some real nursing work. Unfortunately, that included some of the drudgery that came with it; she had spent the last hour correcting the entries made by one of the trainee nurses. This nurse was either incapable of understanding University Hospital shorthand or just did not care. Either way, that kind of carelessness could cost patient's lives.

Finishing the records, she passed the files over to the nurse holding down the fort at the nurse's station. She yawned. It had been a long day and she was tired. Maybe she and Steve could just order some Chinese and spend the night in front of the TV.

"Oh, Kayla, Dr. Curtis left this for you." Another nurse had walked over to the station and was carrying some envelopes. "They're for the Immunology Lab. I guess they got misdirected."

Kayla had not been planning on going to the lab that day. Dr. Bishop and Brian, the new researcher, were attending a conference. Only Carly might be around and she was not really doing lab work at the moment.

"I can just put this in the inter-hospital mail," the nurse said.

"No," Kayla said, holding out her hand. "I'll take them down."

It would only be a few minutes, she told herself. _Then I can go home_.

She was soon at the lab, which was locked. _Guess Carly must have left early_, Kayla thought. Unlocking the door, Kayla walked over to the trays for incoming mail and began to sort the mail. She had only dropped the first envelope into Dr. Bishop's box when she heard the screams.

Kayla dropped the stack of mail and spun around. The screams continued. They were coming from the back of the lab, where it sounded like someone was in massive pain.

Without hesitating, Kayla rushed toward the sound. _Carly_! she realized. It had to be Carly. Nobody else could be in the lab. She raced down the hall that led to Carly's office and burst through the open doorway.

Carly was sitting at her desk, apparently so focused on the source of the screams - a television - that she did not even notice Kayla had entered the room. Kayla let out a relieved breath. She started to turn back, but then she caught sight of the image on the screen.

It was a dark-skinned woman, who was writhing on the ground in obvious pain. She was screaming as her body convulsed. Kayla had only heard screams like that from some of the most severely injured accident and fire victims. It was the sound of someone in such great pain that death would be merciful.

And then the screams stopped.

Kayla stared at the screen, at first certain that the woman was dead. But then she heard a heavily accented voice say, "Subject is now entering paralytic phase." At least that was what she thought she heard. The accent sounded Eastern European.

In front of her, Carly lifted a hand to her mouth. On screen, the camera moved closer to the woman. Now, Kayla could see that the woman was still alive. Her mouth moved only slightly, but, plainly, she was gasping for air. Both of her eyelids and the right side of her face were drooping, much like Kayla had seen happen with stroke victims.

She stepped forward to look more closely. The woman was still moving, but her body seemed to grow progressively still. Her arms stopped jerking around.

Nothing happened for several minutes. The woman's chest continued to rise and fall, so she was still breathing. But other than that, there was no apparent sign of life.

"14 minutes, 36 seconds," said the accented voice. "No lethality. Administer the antidote."

A white-coated and masked man came into view with a vial in his hand. He crouched next to the woman, forced open her mouth, and poured some liquid.

The voice said, "Initiate timing sequence now."

As Kayla watched, the woman appeared to stop gasping and began to stir. Her first sounds were a pained groan, but at least she was alive. Riveted to the screen, Kayla saw the woman slowly work her jaw, which had gone slack, and blink the drooping eyelids. Then she sat up, still weak and shaken, but in far better condition than before.

"What the hell-" Kayla said, before cutting herself off sharply as she remembered that she was not supposed to know about Carly's work.

Too late. Carly spun around. "Kayla!" Carly looked at her, then at the screen, then back at her. "How much did you see?" she demanded to know.

"Enough," Kayla admitted. "I . . . I heard screams and. . . well, I thought you were in trouble."

Carly sighed and ran her hands over her face. "You weren't supposed to see this."

"Too late," Kayla said with a shrug. She gave Carly a sympathetic glance. "I guess this has something to do with your top-secret project. I can see why it's been so hard for you."

"You have no idea." Carly looked down at the floor. "I can't even tell Bo about it, and day after day. . . ."

Kayla understood. "It wears you down. Can I help?"

"I'm not supposed to talk about it with anyone," Carly said. "This has some high-level security clearance."

In other words, it was ISA. Carly confirmed Kayla's suspicions. "You can tell me," Kayla urged. "I'm a member of the lab team and I'm not going to tell anyone."

Carly seemed to think for a moment, but then said, "I need you to promise. You won't tell a soul."

"Of course," Kayla assured. "What's going on?"

Pointing at the screen, Carly began to explain. "This video. . . . It came from a - well, that part I'd better not say. It was provided to us. We're researching a toxin, one that could be extremely lethal, particularly if it gets into the wrong hands."

"Okay. . . ." Kayla tried to fight the dread rising within her by forcing herself to keep calm and think rationally. "It could be lethal, but the video said it was not lethal."

"Not yet, apparently," Carly said. "But that could change any day."

Kayla took a deep breath. "Why do they have you working on this? Don't they have their own scientists?" She knew she did not have to say who "they" were. Carly would understand.

Carly stood up and walked slowly over to the VCR. She obviously was debating whether to respond. Finally, she said, "They think Salem's a target. I'm involved so if something happens, I'll know and can help with a response."

"What kind of response?" Kayla was beginning to feel sick. _Salem_?_ Someone's threatening to use this toxin on Salem_? She thought about all of her family members and friends in the city. Any one of them could wind up like the woman on the TV screen.

Carly pointed to a wall of boxes. "Antidotes to possible toxins. We don't know what we're up against - though the video may help with that. We're guessing what's most likely to work, so we're stockpiling different antidotes. God . . . I shouldn't be telling you this."

Kayla walked over to her. "It's okay. I think you needed to talk. And you can trust me."

Carly started to reply, but her words were cut off by another round of screams. She and Kayla both turned to the screen where the woman was again convulsing on the floor.

"What the-" Carly said, her eyes going wide.

As they watched, they could see the symptoms returning. The woman's eyes seemed to close and her she began gasping for air once more. Several white-coated workers were around her and seemed confused.

Carly grabbed the remote and hit the "rewind" button. "I didn't see them give her more gas." She stopped the tape just after the man administered the antidote and they watched it again. Nobody seemed to do anything to the woman other than check her vital signs. But for whatever reason, she started convulsing and screaming again.

"Their antidote doesn't work," Kayla said, feeling the bile rise in her throat. _What kind of sick monster tests poison on people without an antidote_? _What kind of sick monster tests any poison on people_?

"No. That's not right. . . unless this is a different antidote." Carly shook her head. "This didn't happen to the other people."

The other people? Kayla had to close her eyes and swallow to stop from being sick. "There are others?"

"This is the third tape," Carly explained. "The others were fine."

They both continued to watch, transfixed. After a few more minutes, the woman began to grow still, the tremors slowing and her screams halting. There was some background noise, as if people were conferring, but the words were too faint to make out.

Then they heard the Eastern European voice. "Subject experienced relapse. Reason unknown. Relapse intriguing effect after long exposure that may warrant further study, but of minor concern for present project."

"Why isn't it a concern?" Kayla wondered aloud. As she spoke, the white-coated man administered more of the antidote to the motionless woman.

Carly answered Kayla's question. "You don't need to worry about the victims relapsing when they're dead." She sat back in her chair and they both watched as the woman was helped to her feet and taken out of the frame. A moment later, the image on the TV turned into snow.

"They don't need to worry about relapsing, but we will." Carly turned her head toward the stacked boxes. "How much antidote will we need per person? There's no way of knowing."

"At least, you know about it so you can plan." Kayla shuddered at the thought of the doctor giving people the antidote and thinking they are okay, only to have them collapse again.

With a sick realization, Kayla pictured a flood of patients being brought into the ER, unmoving except for the slight rise and fall of their chests. That's what could happen. That what someone wants to happen.

Carly had stood up and was flipping through a stack of papers. She was mumbling to herself, mostly unintelligible words, but Kayla heard "why" and "there's got to be a reason."

"A reason for what?" Kayla asked.

"Why that toxin keeps working after the antidote is given." Carly frowned.

Kayla did too. She thought about what she had seen, but she knew little about how poison worked. With a sigh, she said, "I don't know. It's like the poison is fighting back or hiding until the antidote passes by." Kayla kicked herself. "Sorry, that sounded pretty stupid."

"No," Carly said quickly. "That's it."

"What's it?" Kayla was baffled. She had just been making a bad joke.

Carly pulled out a notepad and began scribbling on it. "Some drugs get absorbed quickly into cells but can be released later. So, in effect, the toxin is hiding. Maybe once the body takes in the toxin at the places it attacks, the rest is stored and becomes inactive. When the antidote clears the active toxin, that cues the release of whatever is stored."

"Would it come back that quickly?" Kayla was skeptical of the idea.

"Maybe." Carly shrugged. "We don't even know what 'it' is." She groaned loudly. "Sometimes I wish I'd never signed onto this project." Shaking her head, Carly walked over to the VCR and ejected the videotape. "I guess I'd better call Washington."

Kayla took that as her cue to leave. "Okay. . . . But if you need to talk, I'm here to listen."

"Thanks," Carly said. "I do appreciate. And please don't tell anyone. This really has to stay a secret."

Kayla understood why. If word got out that the ISA suspected an attack on Salem with whatever poison was on that video, the entire city would panic. She nodded, turned to the door, and said, "I won't tell a soul."


	439. Chapter 439

"John," Kim cried loudly as she wrapped John in a tight embrace. From the top of the stairs, Shane could see the two of them in the doorway.

He and Kim had just been getting out of bed when they heard the door chime. She had made the trip downstairs a lot faster than Shane could. He had followed slowly, and was now puzzled at John being at the house. It was not only that John was there ridiculously early on a Monday morning, but Shane had not realized John was in Salem at all. They had talked a few days earlier and John had still been in Alaska. He had not made any mention of returning home.

John caught sight of Shane carefully navigating the stairs. "Hey, partner, you look a hell of a lot better since the last time I saw you." John glanced at Kim, catching the smile she was giving Shane, and then said, "Oh. . . ." He raised an eyebrow. "There something you want to tell me?"

Kim turned a definite shade of pink as she turned to face John and stammered, "We. . . . Well. . . . "

Shane reached Kim and put his hands on her shoulders. "What I think Kimberly is trying to say is that we finally stopped being fools." He squeezed her shoulders, and Kim raised her hand and placed it on his.

"It sure took the two of you long enough," John said. He grinned broadly and then looked at Kim. "I'm glad for you, si-" He abruptly stopped.

Kim stepped forward. "If you're uncomfortable about saying 'sis,' you'd better get over it. I'm not losing my big brother."

"Kim-"

"Don't 'Kim' me, John," she said. "You're part of my family and I know that in my heart, so I don't care what some silly test says."

"You know how stubborn Kimberly can be," Shane added. "It seems to be a Brady trait."

John started to shake his head and then began to chuckle slightly. "Guess I'm not gonna get rid of you all, will I?"

"Not on your life, buster," Kim said in a teasing tone. "Don't you even think about it."

John pulled Kim away from Shane and into an embrace that lifted her off the floor. "You've got no idea how much that means to me." He swung Kim around before returning her feet to the ground. She laughed and Shane found himself beaming at the pair of them. "And you, partner. . . ." John said to Shane. "I was starting to worry that you'd lost your touch."

Kim started to laugh, but stopped when they heard the sound of Jeannie wailing from upstairs. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I guess duty calls."

John gave her a quick kiss. "I won't be offended, uh . . . sis. Actually, I've got something I need to talk about with Shane. Do you mind if we talk alone?"

The dots connected and Shane had an inkling what was up, so he motioned John toward the library and closed the door behind them. "I gather you found him?"

"I found him - one Donald Jackson, former prison warden in Nome, Alaska," John said. "He had plenty to say. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know who might listening in on a call. So we took the redeye and I came here as soon as we landed."

Shane leaned against the desk and waited for John to give his report.

"You were right, partner. Alamain had his hands all over Winters' escape. The warden had a long history with Maurice Marchand."

_Marchand_. Shane had always suspected the attorney was Lawrence's conduit. "So Marchand paid off the warden?"

John nodded. "$25,000 - and more was promised, but then Marchand's body wound up in Green Oaks Forest. Our friend, Mr. Jackson, took that as a sign to go underground. I found him at a commune an hour outside of San Francisco."

Shane raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to ask how you tracked him."

"Trust me, that's a story for another day - and several rounds." John chuckled a little. "So now we know that Lawrence was pulling the puppet strings."

That made Shane think for a minute. Lawrence had let Cal Winters loose to wreak havoc while Lawrence moved up his parol hearing and made his escape from Salem. The sociopathic mind never failed to amaze Shane.

"Shane?" John was eyeing Shane closely.

"It's nothing. . . . I was just reminding myself of how evil Lawrence Alamain is," Shane said. "He's a true sociopath. He doesn't see other people as human beings like he is. He sees targets and enemies, and anyone in his way is nothing more than a bug for him to squash. They're meaningless."

John just shook his head.

"Mike Adams is dead," Shane said bitterly. "And Andrew, Kim, and Kayla all could have been killed - all so Lawrence could distract us long enough for him to sneak in his parol hearing. It's all some game to him."

"Is that what the toxin's all about?" John asked.

Shane shook his head sharply. "No. . . . The toxin's revenge for all us lesser beings interfering in Alamainia and sending Lawrence to prison."

John scoffed. "As if what he got should even be called a prison sentence. A couple of months when he should have gone to jail for years."

"There's not much we can do about changing the past." Shane looked over at the picture of his family on the edge of his desk. "We just need to ensure that he doesn't get a chance to use that toxin on Salem."

With a frown, John said, "Well, I'm not sure I can help you there. Jackson said he has no clue where Alamain is. They never talked; Jackson's only contact was with Marchand."

That was the last thing Shane wanted to hear.

"Sorry, partner. It's a dead-end." John shook his head. "Wish I had some ideas."

"What about the ISA?" Shane asked, getting an idea. "You've still got some contacts there - or Roman Brady does."

John's eyes narrowed. "You're not suggesting-"

"I'm not suggesting anything untoward," Shane replied. "Just make a couple of calls . . . to contacts that may not have heard about the return of Roman Brady. I can't imagine the ISA is broadcasting that it misidentified Roman Brady for several years and let someone else work for the ISA in his place."

"And if they have?"

Shane shrugged. "Hang up."

John laughed. "You make it sound so easy. Why don't you make those calls?"

"I would," Shane said, glumly. "But I think 'Shane Donovan, traitor' has probably reached just about everyone in the ISA by now. Except for folks like Peachy who are so deep undercover that they couldn't be reached anyway."

Before John could reply, there was a knock on the door. They both looked up as Kim opened the door. She was carrying Jeannie, but all Shane could see was the scowl on Kim's face. He knew whatever she was about to say would not be good.

"What's wrong, sis?" John asked.

"I just talked to my mother," Kim said, facing Shane. "The Chronicle article is out."

Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. They had known it was probably coming and had discussed how to deal with it. They had discussed going to talk to Roman before the article was released, but had decided that would be pointless. Eventually, they had decided just to wait and deal with the story if it was released. Deep inside, Shane had clung to the vain hope that the ISA would be too embarrassed to reveal that it had covered up Roman's imprisonment and would kill the article before it was published.

"What's in the article?" John asked.

Shane answered before Kim could. "It's all about how I left Roman Brady in Stefano DiMera's clutches when I chose to rescue an ISA traitor instead. All hand-fed to Rachel Knight by the ISA."

"Oh, that's just great," John muttered. "So now Roman will have even more reason to doubt your loyalty."

"That definitely seems to be the ISA's goal," Shane said.

Kim grimaced. "If it weren't for Jeannie being here, I'd tell you exactly what I'd like to do to Chief Tarrington."

Shane stepped toward here and put a hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing we can do about it, so we'll deal with Roman when can. Do you want to see about talking with him?"

"Oh, I tried already," Kim said. "Marlena said he left the house in a huff, heading for the ISA field office. She was pretty confused too."

"I never told her about it," John said. "She was gone when we found out about it, and it never came up."

Shane understood. It was water-under-the-bridge as far as John and he were concerned. Shane had never even had to explain the whole story to John. Shane had tried, but John had always said it did not matter; he knew Shane well enough to know there were good reasons for the decision.

It would not be that easy with Roman. Shane looked at Kim. "Why don't I go over to Marlena's and talk to her. Maybe if I explain, she'll understand and then I'll wait for Roman."

Kim shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'll try to get in touch with Marlena; maybe I'll see her at the hospital. Maybe we can go over there tonight."

"We're supposed to go to Wings tonight." Shane reminded Kim that they had promised Eve that they would go to hear her sing. Kim had thought it would be good for Shane to get out of the house. For the past month, he had only left the house for doctor's appointments.

"I guess inviting Roman and Marlena to join us probably isn't the best idea," Kim said.

John smirked slightly. "Not unless you want to pay for a lot of broken glasses."

"No thanks," Shane said. "I've taken enough punches in that place. Steve and Bo have both had a go at me there. Granted, Bo was a set-up . . . but still. . . ."

John's smirk turned into a laugh. "Yeah, but didn't you do the same to Alex Marshall?"

"That was at Shenanigans," Kim said, breaking into a slight grin. "Remember Alex threatened to sue Chris Kositchek?" Before Shane or John could answer, she grew somber. "But, seriously, what are we going to do about Roman?"

Shane took a deep breath and tried to come up with an answer. "I'll talk to him," he told Kim. "You shouldn't have to be in the middle of this."

"Uh huh, wrong answer." Kim gave him a soft smile. "We're in this together, Shane. If my brother's going to be mad at you, he'd better understand that he's all alone in this. I'll track down Marlena and let you know what she says. Now, I'd better get ready for work."

She gave Shane a light kiss on the lips and he watched her as she left the room. He hated that she was in the middle of another family conflict, but maybe, with her support, they could resolve things with Roman before they got too heated.

As he sighed, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You'll work this out, partner," John said. "We got over it."

Shane tried to feel as optimistic, but it was hard. Roman and John were different people and they had different histories with Shane. "I hope so, John," Shane said, silently wishing that the outcome of the DNA test had been different. He turned his head to face his good friend and decided to change the subject. In a determined voice, he said, "I need to catch Lawrence Alamain. That's the only way I'm going to prove I'm not a traitor, and now I need to prove that even to my friends."

"You don't have to prove anything," John insisted. "Your real friends know you and we know you'd do anything for the Brady family."

But Shane was not going to be convinced. He walked back to his desk. "Come on, we've got work to do. We need to find Lawrence and bring him to justice. So let's figure out how we're going to do that."


	440. Chapter 440

Just a quick note to Vespone. Thanks for catching the Sunday morning. It should have said Monday, and I've fixed that in the prior chapter.

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Kayla turned off the vacuum and looked around the living room, trying to make sure she hadn't missed a spot. Satisfied, she put the vacuum in the closet and picked up the dusting cloth from the shelf.

As she began dusting around the living room, she could hear Steve in the kitchen, preparing dinner. After talking to Kim, while Steve was in New York, Kayla had tried to get in touch with John. Unfortunately, she had learned is that John and Isabella had left Salem on a trip. So Kayla had simply left a message for John to contact her when he returned.

That call had finally come this morning. John had been concerned that something was wrong, but Kayla had assured him that she just wanted to invite him over to dinner. She had sensed John's hesitation and had made it clear it would mean a lot to her. After a few moments, John had accepted the invitation for that evening.

Steve had been glad to hear that John and Isabella were back, and had immediately offered to prepare dinner. Kayla had quickly accepted, not afraid to admit that he was the better cook of the two. Plus, she knew how much he enjoyed it.

So, while she made sure the apartment was presentable, Steve was ensconced in the kitchen. He had insisted on taking Stephanie and her playpen with him so that she could, in his words, "learn from the master." Kayla had tried to tell Steve that it was probably a little early for Stephanie to learn to cook, but Steve was having none of it.

A smile crossed Kayla face as she relived that conversation and then faded just as quickly as another image entered her mind. It was the woman in the tape she had seen in Carly's office. As she had several times in the past few days, Kayla could see the woman lying on the floor, as close to dead as possible.

Kayla shook her head, trying to erase the image. As she did, she could hear Steve talking to Stephanie about proper seasoning.

It had taken a few days to put the pieces together, but Kayla now had little doubt that Steve had once been in the same condition as that woman on the tape.

It had been obvious that the project was ISA-related. Kayla had known that before she even saw the tape. And once the immediate shock had worn off, Kayla had known that there was only one man cruel enough to perform the kind of experiment she had seen. After all, her husband still bore the scars.

There was no doubt in Kayla's mind that the project Carly was working on was related to Lawrence. And while Steve had never shared many details about the experiments he had been subjected to, he had told her enough to leave little doubt that the toxin had been tested on Steve.

Sighing, Kayla put the dusting cloth back in the closet and stared towards to the kitchen. She had promised Carly that she would not tell anyone about what she had seen. But she also knew that Steve might have information that could help.

Kayla slowly walked to the kitchen, still battling with herself about what she should say or ask. Maybe she could get some information without raising Steve's suspicions too much.

As she entered the kitchen, she stopped and smiled at the picture in front of her. Steve was holding Stephanie and peering into a pot on the stove.

"Smell that, Little Sweetness?" he said to his daughter. "It's a little too sweet, just like you." He kissed Stephanie on the head and reached for the salt shaker. "That means, it needs just a little more salt."

Kayla leaned against the wall and watched as Steve opened Stephanie's hand and put a tiny amount of salt in it. Then, with Steve helping, they sprinkled the salt into the sauce.

"Looks like you've got a willing student," Kayla said quietly.

Steve and Stephanie turned, both flashing matching smiles. Kayla's heart skipped a beat as she looked from her daughter to her husband and felt a wave of love wash over her.

"Hey baby," Steve said as he walked towards her. "I didn't realize we had an audience."

Kayla leaned up and kissed Steve. Then she kissed her daughter's cheek and took her from Steve's arms. "You two could host your own cooking show." She kissed Stephanie's cheek again. "I know I'd watch it."

Steve laughed and turned back to his cooking as Kayla took Stephanie and sat down at the table. "So what are you making?"

Steve chuckled. "I can't tell you that, Sweetness. It's a chef's secret." He turned and smiled at her. "Don't worry, you'll love it."

"I'm not worried," Kayla said. "I've always loved your cooking."

Stephanie wriggled in Kayla's arms, signaling her desire to escape. Kayla set Stephanie on the floor and watched as she scrambled quickly back to Steve and grabbed his leg.

Steve laughed and lifted Stephanie to his arms again. Looking at Kayla, he gave her a knowing smile. "And you said she was too young to learn to cook."

Kayla raised her hands in mock surrender. "I was wrong. She seems to love helping her Papa." She paused, searching for a way to approach the subject of the toxin. "So . . . uh . . . have you been able to speak to Abe and . . . um . . . find anything about Lawrence?"

Steve shook his head, still focused on his cooking, "No. Abe just says his hands are tied because of Roman, but he'll be in touch if there's something I need to know."

"That's not very comforting," Kayla said. "We both know that Alamain isn't just going to go away. He's . . . um . . . probably working on some plan as we speak. Maybe even that toxin he tested on you."

That seemed to catch Steve's attention and he turned and looked at Kayla. "What's going on, Sweetness?"

"Nothing," Kayla said quickly. "It's just that the longer we go without knowing anything, the scarier it gets."

"Aww, baby." Steve put Stephanie in her playpen and walked to Kayla. He took her hand and kissed it. "You don't need to worry, Kayla. I'm not going to let Alamain hurt this family again."

Kayla smiled. "I know. But that toxin he was working on sounds pretty scary, just from what little you told me." She paused and then plunged ahead. "It kind of paralyzed you, right?

Steve nodded and Kayla could see the strain on his face as the memory obviously came to him. She hated herself for bringing that back, but she knew every bit of information might be helpful. "I think you said they gave you some kind of antidote. Did it . . . did it always work right away?"

Steve seemed a bit lost in the memory and nodded slowly. "It would take a minute or so," he said quietly. "It was the longest minute of my life. I was always wondering if that day was the day it wouldn't work."

Kayla swallowed the lump in her throat. "Did it . . . did it ever take more than one dose?"

Steve nodded again. "Towards the end, just before I got out, it seemed like-" He stopped, and the hazy look in his eye cleared. "What's with the questions, Kayla?"

"I told you, it's nothing," Kayla replied, refusing to meet Steve's eyes. "I'm just worried about Lawrence."

"I'm sure you are, Sweetness." Steve reached for Kayla's chin and tilted it up so she was forced to look at him. "But I know you well enough to know that you were asking specific questions for specific reasons." He stared at her. "What do you know that you aren't telling me?"

Kayla stared at her husband. She knew what she had promised Carly, but she also knew she could not lie to Steve. Besides, if he had information that could help Carly find an antidote for the poison Alamain was creating, Kayla owed it to everybody who might be affected to tell him.

Taking a deep breath, she quietly told Steve about walking in on Carly and seeing the video. Kayla explained how she was certain the project was ISA-related. When she finished, Steve questioned her about the woman in the video.

"Sounds like pretty much the same stuff to me, just stronger," Steve concluded.

"I know," Kayla said. "I didn't put the pieces together at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I was sure the tape was showing Lawrence's latest project."

Steve ran a hand over his face. "Those poor people," he whispered. He looked at Kayla, the anguish clear on his face. "They're being used as human guinea pigs and nobody is going to rescue them."

"You don't know that," Kayla said, taking Steve's hand. "I'm sure the ISA is working on it."

Steve scoffed and stood. "Come on, Kayla. If they have the video, they must know where it's coming from. Why haven't they stopped it?"

Kayla shook her head, but before she could speak the timer dinged on the stove. Kayla checked the clock and grimaced. John and Isabella would be arriving shortly, and Kayla still had a lot of things to do before they arrived.

Standing, she reached up and stroked Steve's face. "You need to finish cooking and I need to finish my housework. We can talk more about this later, but please remember that I promised Carly I wouldn't tell anyone."

Steve nodded absently and Kayla could almost see the wheels turning in this head. She knew she had opened a can of worms that she might not be able to close. But with the stakes so high, there were no other options. She would just have to deal with the fallout when it came.


	441. Chapter 441

"What do you mean?" Lawrence roared at Ivan.

"I'm sorry, sir," Ivan said. "She came through all the records checks."

Lawrence slammed his hand down on the desk. "But now you realize she's ISA?" He glared at Ivan. "How much does she know?"

Ivan shook his head. "We don't know exactly, but she was never in the lab. She-

"Never in the lab that we know of." Lawrence curled his hand angrily into a fist. "She's ISA. She could've snuck into the lab."

"I'm sure she didn't," Ivan said. "We've reviewed all the videos of the lab entrances and saw no sign of her entering."

Lawrence felt a slight hint of relief. If she never accessed the lab, she had no way of knowing the formula for the toxin. "Okay, so she probably didn't get the formula. What about the antidote?" The gas was impossible to capture, but the antidote was a liquid. If the ISA had the antidote-

"No, I'm pretty certain of that, too. I had Herr Doctor Schreiner verify that all samples of the antidote are accounted for." Ivan paused, and Lawrence knew he was not going to be happy with what Ivan said next. "We found she had some . . . missing videotapes." Ivan shrank back under Lawrence's withering glare and answered the next question before it was asked. "Of experiments on the test subjects. There are a few unaccounted for, and we must presume she delivered them to the ISA."

Lawrence closed his eyes and counted to 10. He needed to remain calm. The news was not all bad. They had found the spy. She did not get the toxin formula or the antidote. The most the ISA had were videos of the tests. They could observe the symptoms from those, but if Steve Johnson had talked - and Katerina's involvement with that doctor in Washington strongly indicated that Johnson had - the ISA already knew the symptoms.

Standing, Lawrence headed for the door. "Come, Ivan. . . . It is time I spoke with our lovely Mata Hari."

Ivan followed him from the room and down the corridor of the research facility until they reached a locked door. Producing a key from his pocket, Ivan unlocked it and opened the door. The room was little larger than a closet. Lawrence had learned from his time in the Salem prison that small spaces made the most effective confinement.

Against the wall, handcuffed to a chair was a young woman who looked Indian. Her black hair hung over part of her face, but her eyes were visible above the gag in her mouth. Lawrence could see the scornful gaze as she watched him. He stopped a foot in front of her, while Ivan pulled down the gag.

The woman said nothing. She just glared at him.

"Ah, the pride of the ISA," Lawrence said derisively. "Where are your masters now? You don't really believe they intend to rescue you."

She remained silent.

"No, I didn't really expect you to do yourself the favor of disclosing what you passed to them." Lawrence smiled, noting that the woman's scorned expression seemed to falter momentarily. "So what should I do with you?"

Ivan leaned close to Lawrence and whispered, "If she's like the others, she won't break."

_True_, Lawrence had to concede. The other spies they had uncovered had all died during interrogation. None had broken.

_So why waste the effort_? He studied the woman for a moment, reading her with ease. She was dead and she knew it, so she made little effort to hide her contempt for Lawrence. She would regret that. He might have given her a merciful death, but the scowl on her face meant she would have to serve a purpose first - actually, he thought, a couple of purposes.

"Ivan, please take our guest to my bedroom," Lawrence said. "It has been quite a while since I've enjoyed the comfort of a woman." The woman's eyes flashed - maybe a little fear - but she remained silent.

"Are you sure, sir?" Ivan asked in a very low voice.

Lawrence nodded. "Yes. Just make sure the handcuffs are attached to the bed." The bed had metal frames, so there was no chance the woman would escape as he had his way with her. Lawrence could almost feel her warm body under him right now. Maybe he would make her scream like his former wife, Jennifer, had on their wedding night.

Ivan quickly unlocked the cuffs that hooked the woman to the chair and began dragging her out of the room. He stopped only when Lawrence spoke again, a cruel grin on his face.

"Oh . . . and when I've tired of her . . . well, tell Dr. Schreiner that he will have another test subject for his research."


	442. Chapter 442

"I guess he was angry," Kim said to Marlena. She was standing inside Marlena's office. Her friend was seated behind the desk.

"Yes, he was angry," Marlena replied. Her words were curt and there was an edge in her voice, indicating she was angry too. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" Marlena asked. "How could you keep such a secret from me?"

Kim tried to explain. "We all dealt with it years ago. Shane and Ro - I mean John. . . . They made up. John and Shane are like brothers, Marlena. Yeah, John was angry. We were all angry, but we love Shane and we knew he would never have done anything to deliberately hurt us. And we understood his choice. He chose to save his brother; that's something we all would have done."

Marlena said nothing for a minute. "Maybe the choice was understandable, but Shane never told us. Roman was alive all that time, and I suffered every day I woke up believing he was dead. And Shane knew. Why didn't he tell us?"

"I don't know." Kim knew that did not sound right.

In a sharp voice, Marlena asked, "What do you mean you 'don't know'? How couldn't you know?"

"I don't know," Kim repeated. "I never asked. Maybe I didn't want to know, or maybe it just didn't matter. I loved Shane and wasn't going to let this destroy us." When Marlena responded with silence, Kim begged, "Please, Marlena. You know Shane. He had to have reasons."

Another period of silence followed, but finally Marlena nodded. "Okay. I do know Shane. It's hard for me to understand, but . . . you're right. He had to have some reasons." She frowned slightly. "But I don't know if Roman is going to be so accepting."

"We have to try," Kim said. She needed to find a way to get her brother to trust Shane. The Bradys had been through too much trauma; they needed to find common ground and come together.

With a resigned look, Marlena picked up the phone and dialed the house. She exchanged words with the nanny, then asked if Roman was there. Obviously, she did not like what she heard, because she quickly hung up and looked at Kim. She was on her feet and gathering her purse before she said, "He's on his way to Shane's."

Needing no further prompting, Kim followed Marlena out the door as they raced downstairs to Marlena's car. Ten minutes later, they arrived at Shane's. The first thing Kim noticed was that the front door was open.

Reaching the entrance, Kim heard raised voices coming from the library. With Marlena close behind, she rushed into the room.

Roman had Shane shoved against the wall next to the fireplace. Simmons was next to them, trying to break Roman's grip on Shane's collar. Kim could tell Shane was trying to fight back, but he was not strong enough to free himself.

"Dammit, Roman," Shane gasped. "I'm trying to tell-"

"I don't want to hear it, Donovan," Roman shouted. "You left me in that hellhole."

Simmons yanked on Roman's arm, hard enough to jar his hand loose, but Roman swung it at the butler, who went sprawling backwards over the edge of the couch. Not looking back, Roman adjusted his grip on Shane, this time grabbing him around the throat.

"Roman!" Marlena screamed, but he did not seem to hear them. He was too focused on Shane.

Kim and Marlena raced towards them. She could see Shane's face turning red from the strain. His hands latched onto Roman wrist, as he tried to escape the choking hold.

"Stop it, Roman!" Kim cried. "You're hurting him!"

"I'm gonna do a lot more than hurt him," Roman yelled back, even as he kept his eyes focused on Shane. "You're a traitor, Donovan! First you sold me out and then you sold out this country. I don't know what bull you've sold my family, but I'm not buying." He raised his right hand, which was balled into a fist.

"No!" Kim and Marlena shouted in unison as they reached Roman. Marlena managed to grab his hand, which distracted him just long enough.

The next thing Kim knew, Roman screamed in pain. He let go of Shane and staggered backward, his hands over his groin. He looked at Shane in disbelief, then doubled over on the ground and curled into the fetal position, his hands still cupping himself protectively. Meanwhile, Shane stumbled forward, leaned heavily on the desk, and gasped for breath.

"I . . . didn't want . . . do that," Shane rasped. "I'm. . . ." He broke off coughing. "I'm not your enemy."

Still on the ground in obvious pain from being struck, Roman was having none of it. He managed to roll onto his hands and knees, and looked up. "Should've figured you for a cheap shot artist too."

"That's enough!" Marlena yelled. She and Kim had stepped between the two men. "You're going to stop this, Roman Brady."

"Get out of my way, Marlena," Roman growled as he unsteadily rose to his feet.

Marlena shook her head. "I'm not going to let you do this. Shane's my friend, and if you'd just listen, I'm sure there's an explanation. I was here when we thought you'd died, and I saw the guilt on his face."

"You don't have-" Shane started to say, but his words cut off as he began to cough again.

"No, she doesn't." Roman started forward, but Marlena and Kim blocked his path. "Get out of my way," he snarled.

Neither of them moved.

"Get out of my way," Roman repeated through gritted teeth. Both of his hands were balled into tight fists.

Kim spoke first. "No," she said, forcing her voice to remain calm. She had hoped they might be able to talk rationally, but that obviously was not going to happen now. "You need to leave this house, Roman. And when you've calmed down and are willing to listen, we'll discuss this. But I am not going to let you lay another hand on Shane."

Red-faced, Roman shook with rage. For a moment, Kim believed he might push her and Marlena aside and continue his assault. Kim stiffened, as if preparing for a blow, knowing that Shane was in no condition to defend himself.

"Fine," Roman snarled. He punched the air angrily. "Go ahead and defend him. I don't know what BS he's told you, but I'm not going to get sucked in by lies." He glared at Kim and then at Shane before he turned and limped out of the room. A moment later, she heard the front door slam.

Marlena looked from Kim to Shane and then back at Kim. "I . . . I guess I'd better go after him,"

Kim nodded, but before Marlena could leave, Shane said, "Marlena . . . please. . . . Believe me when I say I'm sorry. I thought I was making the right decision at the time; I didn't know Drew had turned, and I thought we'd have another chance to get Roman. If you give me a chance to explain-"

"I can't right now," Marlena said. She looked to Kim as if she was struggling to avoid raising her voice. "I'm going to find Roman and make sure he doesn't do anything rash. Maybe when things blow over, we can talk, but . . . but right now, I can't even think about it." Before Shane could say anything else, Marlena headed for the door. Kim decided it was best just to let her go.

The immediate crisis over, Kim turned to Shane. He had one hand on the desk, helping him stay steady. Kim was about to ask how he was, but then she heard a groan from behind her.

_Simmons_, she thought, remembering that he had fallen in the melee. She turned and saw the butler getting to his feet. He wobbled slightly as he shook his head dizzily.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked, rushing over and taking his arm. She helped him to a seat on the couch.

"I think so, Madame," he said before looking at Shane. "I'm sorry, sir. I tried to stop him, but he pushed by me so quickly. I guess I'm not as strong as I used to be."

"None of us are," Shane said, grimly. "It's okay, Simmons. I doubt the Great Wall of China would have stopped Roman,"

Kim looked over her shoulder and saw the glum expression on his face. "Are you all right?" She knew that Shane probably felt embarrassed at being unable to defend himself, but he just nodded and turned away toward the window.

Turning back to Simmons, she asked, "Can I get you anything?" When he shook his head, Kim said, "Why don't you go lie down for a bit?"

"But Master Andrew will be home from his friend's soon." Simmons started to rise, but fell back again.

"I'll take care of Andrew." Lightly, Kim added, "I am capable of it, you know. So . . . you . . . bed. You're off duty for the rest of the day and tonight."

She helped Simmons stand up, put an arm around his waist, and ignored his grumbling protests that he was fine as she assisted him to his quarters. "Now you stay here," she ordered after helping him to the bed. Once Simmons was settled, Kim returned to the library. Shane was staring at the fireplace, but he turned when she entered.

"Is he okay?"

Kim smiled. "Judging from the way his complaints increased as we got closer to his room, I think he'll be fine."

Shane said nothing, but she could tell he was upset. _Probably more at himself than at Roman. _

"There was nothing you could do," she said. "You're still recovering.

He shook his head angrily. "That's no excuse. . . . This is the second time someone's just barged their way in here and pushed me around."

Kim walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You were badly hurt and you need time to get better. And you will. . . . Besides, you weren't exactly helpless. I think my big brother's going to be walking a bit gingerly for the next few days."

Shane hardly seemed mollified, but he nodded and kissed her lightly. "Thank you for being here."

"There's nowhere I'd rather be," Kim said. She reached up and caressed his cheek. "This will all blow over, Shane. I know my brother and he'll stomp around and blow a lot of hot air, but Marlena will get through to him and then we'll work it out."

"I hope so." Shane sighed and stepped toward the desk. "I'd better call Wings and cancel."

For a moment, Kim was confused, but then she remembered their plans to see Eve sing. "Oh, Shane. . . . Eve was looking so forward to us coming tonight."

"We'll go another night," Shane said. He picked up the phone, but Kim ran over, snatched it out of his hand, and set it down.

"Don't cancel just yet. Simmons will probably be fine with a little rest, and we can take the children to my parents tonight." She took Shane's hand in hers and looked into his eyes until he averted his gaze. That and his seeming eagerness to cancel their reservation told Kim everything she needed to know. "You can't keep hiding in the house. Salem is full of our friends and going out will do you good. Plus Eve's counting on us."

She expected Shane to protest, but he did not. "Okay," he said. "You win."

"Good." Kim grinned and then gave him a light peck on the check. "I knew I would. Now, you go get ready. I'll call my folks, check on Simmons, and fix something in the kitchen for him to eat."

Kim kept smiling as he walked toward the door. He stopped just before reaching the foyer and looked back at her. She continued to smile until he nodded and disappeared through the doorway. Once he was out of sight, Kim's grin faded. She knew Shane was struggling with his physical condition, and having another family conflict hanging over them was the last thing they needed. Kim also knew that the situation with Roman would not be so easily resolved. And they were only weeks away from Shane's trial.

It was almost overwhelming.

But she took a deep breath and reminded herself that she and Shane had been through a lot in their years together. _This is just another hurdle, Kimmie. You've been over the tough ones already. _She smiled - this time with a genuine smile - as she picked up the phone and called her parents. Yes, she and Shane had been through a lot, but she knew one thing.

They were together now and, together, they could get through anything.


	443. Chapter 443

Steve checked his simmering sauce one last time and then headed for the living room. The dinner was prepared and ready to be served whenever Kayla was ready for them to eat.

Finishing the meal had been a welcome distraction from this conversation with Kayla. He shouldn't have been surprised that Alamain was continuing his inhumane toxin testing but somehow he'd let himself hope that the raid on the compound in Egypt had curtailed the project.

Unfortunately, Kayla's description of the tape she had seen was proof that was not the case. Lawrence Alamain was creating a deadly toxin and it was only a matter of time before he was finished.

_Time and lives_, Steve bitterly reminded himself. The lives of the victims of that toxin when it was unleashed, and the lives of the people being used as lab rats to perfect it.

Shaking those thoughts from his head, Steve entered the living room just as Kayla entered from the hallway. She was dressed casually in jeans and soft sweater and, as always, she took his breath away.

He smiled and walked towards her. "You look beautiful, baby."

Kayla blushed slightly as his eye roamed freely over her. She leaned up for a soft kiss and whispered, "You look pretty good yourself."

The tender moment was interrupted as Stephanie barreled into the living room and latched on to Steve's leg. "Papa, up."

Steve laughed, picked his daughter up, and swung her high over his head. Stephanie giggled loudly and, when Steve had nestled her in his arms, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Steve's heart clinched at his daughter's simple action, and he hoped that it always would.

A knock on the door interrupted the family moment. Kayla moved to answer it as Steve trailed slightly behind with Stephanie.

Kayla opened the door and ushered John and Isabella into the apartment. Steve watched as Kayla threw her arms around John and embraced him. He caught Isabella's gaze and they shared a small smile at the scene.

"It's good to see you too, buttercup," John said when Kayla finally released him. Steve could see the shadow pass over John's face as he realized what he had said. "Sorry . . . some habits die hard, I guess."

Kayla just shook her head. "Don't apologize, John. That nickname came from my big brother, and you are still my big brother no matter what that DNA test said. I just have two of them now."

John nodded and cleared his throat. He was clearly battling his emotions.

Wanting to lighten the tone, Steve stepped up and said, "I'm just glad you didn't have two of them a few years ago, Sweetness. One big brother and a baby brother were more than enough for me."

The room echoed with laughter as the emotional mood was broken. Steve shook hands with John and gave Isabella a kiss on the cheek before handing Stephanie over for a hug and a kiss.

Stephanie was then placed into her playpen, and the adults settled on the couch and chairs. Steve and John enjoyed their beers, while Kayla and Isabella sipped on glasses of wine.

"So where did you two go on your trip?" Kayla asked. "I was beginning to think you were never coming home."

John smiled, but Steve caught the quick look he shared with Isabella. "Nowhere special really," John finally answered. "It just seemed like a good time to get out of town for a little while."

Kayla nodded, but didn't push the subject further. "Well, you were missed at Ma and Pop's on Halloween."

"I don't know about that," John said quietly. His tone lightened as he continued, "Marlena showed me pictures of the all the kids, though. That looked like quite a passel of trouble."

Steve chuckled. "Those boys were a handful. I think Sami is happy to have a couple of girls to play with now though."

John nodded. "That was always her number one complaint about family gatherings. She never had little girls to play dolls with."

Steve could hear the sadness in John's voice as he talked about the kids. Steve could not imagine how hard it must be to lose the children John had loved as his own.

Kayla must have felt the same thing, because she softly asked, "You really miss them, don't you?"

Isabella took John's hand and held it. John brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly before answering. "I miss them so much it makes it hard to breathe sometimes." He took a deep breath and shrugged slightly. "I'm just hoping that when they get adjusted to all the changes I'll get a chance to see them again."

"I'm sure that will happen," Isabella said reassuringly. "Marlena knows how much those kids mean to you - and how much you mean to them."

"I know," John replied. "But I'm not sure Roman is ever going to let me be a part of their lives. And I'm not sure I can even blame him."

"Hey," Steve said. "What happened wasn't your fault. And the sooner Roman figures that out, the better off everybody will be." He shrugged. "But if it makes you feel any better, I'm not real high on his list either."

John chuckled. "It is nice to know I'm not alone, partner." Then he grew more serious. "But I'm guessing we're both a little farther down the list tonight."

Kayla gave John a questioning look. "What do you mean?"

"I take it you didn't see the Chronicle today?" John responded. Steve and Kayla shook their heads in unison.

"Rachel Knight had another article. It was all about how Shane left Roman in Stefano's clutches and chose to rescue his brother, the traitor." John's frustration was plain on his face. "As usual, she made a point to make the whole thing sound as bad as possible."

"I swear I hate that woman," Kayla snarled. "Just when I think she can't do any more harm to this family, she finds another way."

"With the ISA's help," Steve added. Taking a breath to calm himself, he turned to Kayla. "Don't let her get you all worked up, Sweetness. She's not worth it. Shane and Roman will work this out. We all got through it before, we can do it again."

Kayla nodded and the conversation switched to lighter topics. Kayla talked about being back at work in the Trauma Center and Isabella talked about the work the Toscano Foundation was doing. Steve still cringed slightly at the name. He struggled to put aside the hell that Marina and Ernesto had put his family through. But he knew Isabella was trying to make up for that legacy.

It was not long before Kayla announced it was time to eat and they moved into the dining room. As Steve headed for the kitchen to put the final touches on the meal, he could hear John and Kayla laughing while John teased her about letting Steve do the cooking.

Steve smiled at the sound. There was no question in his mind that John was still part of the Brady family. And it looked like John was finally starting to accept that too.


	444. Chapter 444

Shane stopped at the doorway. There had been no parking close to Wings and he had refused Kim's offer to drop him off at the door. Now he was regretting that decision. After walking two blocks, he was winded and needed to catch his breath.

"Are you okay?" Kim asked. "I should have insisted you get out. That walk was too much."

He felt the heat rising in his cheeks. "Nonsense," he insisted. Then, he lied, "I'm fine."

Kim's disbelief was momentarily visible, but she managed to stop herself from shaking her head more and took his hand. "Come on. We don't want to be late."

Steeling himself, Shane followed her through the door. It had been a long time since he had been to Wings. He thought back, slightly ruefully, to how his last visit had ended with Steve Johnson's arrival and a sharp, right cross to Shane's jaw.

Once inside, they were met by a smiling Eve, who gave them both hugs and then told Dave to take them to the "best table in the house - the one right in front of the stage." Shane found himself taking a deep breath, needing to steady his nerves. It was silly, really, but he felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought of walking past all those other tables in the crowded restaurant.

"Come on," Kim whispered so only he could hear her. She wrapped her arm around his in a way that he suspected she intended would allow him to lean on her without it being too noticeable.

"I'm fine," Shane insisted.

Kim squeezed his arm. "You will be." She smiled softly. "I know it's hard for you, but you've come so far already. Soon, nobody will believe you were ever hurt."

As they crossed the room, Shane noticed that the din of the evening diners had seemed to lessen. He also heard some hushed voices from the tables they passed, and he barely had to glance sidelong to see the people watching them.

"Shane, darling!" Julie Williams rushed across the room and caught them just as they reached the table. She gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm so glad you're here." Then, she stepped back and looked Shane over from head to toe. "And you look so much better than when I last saw you."

It took Shane a moment to recall when that was. "Oh . . . at the hospital. . . of course."

"That's right. You look a thousand-percent better. I guess that's what home cooking will do for you." Julie gave Kim a wink. "Not to mention a few other things that nurses don't give you in a hospital."

Shane thought his ears were about to burn to a crisp. "Julie Williams," he gasped, scandalized. "I can't believe you just said that."

"Why?" Julie teased. "And here I thought you knew me?" As Shane sputtered as he tried to find a response, she grinned, gave him another peck on the cheek, and looked at him. "It's just good to see you up and around, and I'm glad to see two of my favorite people have come to their senses."

Shane had to roll his eyes at that. "Does everyone in Salem know our business?"

Julie laughed. "Of course not, darling - just those of us who've passed within a block of your daughter this past week. . . . And don't get upset at Eve. She's very happy for you." Julie looked at Kim. "For both of you, I swear. Now, why don't you sit down and I'll send over a bottle of my best champagne - on the house?"

Shane sighed. Alcohol and pain medication did not mix. "As much as I hate the idea of turning down good champagne, I'm off alcohol for the time being. You wouldn't want to get me into trouble with Dr. Hunter."

"Oh, of course," Julie said. "I'm sorry. . . . Well . . . just have a seat and I'll figure out something else. This is a celebration and the two of you are going to celebrate."

As she glided away across the room, Shane glanced and Kim, who rolled her eyes and chuckled. "That sounded a bit like an order," she said, as Dave pulled out her chair and she finally sat. Shane sat down also and took the menu. They quickly ordered and, that done, Shane suddenly wondered what came next.

_This is when I would ask Kim to dance_, Shane thought, knowing the idea was completely out of the question. _Not when I could barely walk from the car to the restaurant._

Kim glanced at him, then looked down, and busied herself with buttering a piece of bread. Plainly, she had no idea what to do or say either.

The waiter arrived a few minutes later with a glass of champagne for Kim and some sparkling cider for Shane. He took the glass and shrugged. "Hardly Dom Perignon, but I guess I'll just have to make do."

"We'll more than make do," Kim replied, holding her glass aloft. "I'd make a toast, but I'm not sure what to say. I . . . I know this sounds silly, but I . . . is it weird that I feel nervous?"

"Like a teenager on a first date?" Shane asked.

Kim giggled and blushed. "Exactly." She shook her head. "You'd think we'd have gotten the hang of this by now. How many 'first dates' have we had?"

"I think I've lost count." Shane chuckled. "Let's see . . . I took you riding-"

"True, but that was after how many lunches, dinners - and entire cheesecakes - at Shenanigans," Kim pointed out.

Shane had to concede the point. "Well the riding was sort of an official first date after I nearly left Salem. So let's call that the second first date." He thought. "And we had a 'first date' after Andrew was born."

"I seem to remember the 'second date' a bit more," Kim said, with a saucy wink, reminding him of the first time they had made love after reuniting. Kim giggled. "Remember the violinist? You told him we had to go feed Andrew and when he asked how it was our second date, you told him we 'move fast'? Boy was he confused."

Shane had to laugh too. "Okay . . . so that's three. And after the knifer."

"Four." Kim hesitated and seemed to grow a little somber. "I just realized something. . . . We never really had anything I'd call a 'date' when you came back after losing your memory. It's funny, isn't it? But then we kind of skipped over a lot of things back then."

He knew she was thinking about Cal and how she had moved on after Shane's death. "We don't need to talk about that," he said, reaching for her hand. "Why don't we just count this as our fifth 'first date.' Can you do that?"

Kim's fingers tightened around his and she smiled. "I think I can definitely do that."

That seemed to break the ice and they both relaxed. The food came and, as they ate, they talked about the past and about their children. Then they watched Eve perform - brilliantly, Shane had to say, certain it was not just fatherly pride influencing his judgment.

"This has been a wonderful evening," Kim said. Eve had left the stage, replaced with soft music that brought several couples to the dance floor.

Shane nodded. "It has." A dancing couple flashed in the corner of his eye and he wished he could pull Kim to her feet and could join them. Shane could almost feel the warmth of Kim's body against his and envisioned the way she would look up at him with an adoring gaze as they swayed to the music. Ruefully, he said, "It's almost perfect."

As if she could read his mind, Kim leaned forward, reached across the table, and grabbed his hand. "It _is _perfect. . . . I know it's hard for you. You can't even see how much progress you've made. You're going to get stronger and they'll be plenty of nights when we dance together. That doesn't make tonight any less perfect."

Shane could hear the earnest sincerity in her voice and found himself unable to tear his gaze away from her shining eyes. He squeezed her hand, smiled softly, and nodded. "It is perfect."

"Right," Kim said. She let go of his hand, pulled away, and stood up.

Confused, Shane asked, "What the devil are you doing?"

"You'll see." Kim took her chair, dragged it around the table, and set it to Shane's right. She then sat down and took his hands in hers. Then she leaned her head against his chest.

Shane pulled his right hand free and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They began to sway together, slowly, in time to the music.

"See, Shane," Kim said softly. "Who says we can't dance?"


	445. Chapter 445

Steve checked his watch. 9:42. His timing was perfect as he looked down the dark and empty corridor that ran outside the Immunology Lab.

Over the past several days, Steve had made evening stops at the hospital and had scouted out the lab staff, security, and even the cleaning crews to find out their timing and movements. After a few days of the last researcher leaving at 7:30 p.m., security guards changing their shifts at 9:45 p.m., and the cleaning crew arriving at 11:00 p.m., Steve had settled on the time of the shift-change. He would be inside the lab well before any security guards passed by.

The hardest parts of his scouting efforts had been slipping his ISA tail so regularly and keeping Kayla in the dark. She had asked questions after his second late night, so he had spread his last visit and this - his intended final trip - over a couple of additional days.

He knew Kayla would be furious if she found out what he was doing. She had sworn him to secrecy about the video.

_Well, nobody has to ever know you said a word, Sweetness. One visit and I'll get everything I need to know._

The big question was whether it would give him some clues about Lawrence. Steve knew that the ISA's research project involved Lawrence's toxin. But he had no idea if it would actually tell him anything about Lawrence's actual plans or where Lawrence was.

Still, it was the best place to look right now. Steve's only other option was breaking into ISA headquarters in D.C. or the field office in Salem. Both seemed rather suicidal and, in any event, Steve doubted he would be able to access the ISA computers where the information likely was being stored. The lab would be a lot less secure.

Steve checked his watch again. 9:45. _Time to go._

He pulled his black ski cap lower down so it covered some of his face. If, by chance, someone came around a corner and spotted him, they wouldn't see his blond hair or the patch. Steve was not about to make it easy for anyone to catch him.

Reaching the lab door, he made quick work of the lock. It was bizarre that a top-secret research facility would be so easy to open, but then the ISA seemed to have this lab hiding in plain sight. A lot of visible security might make the lab stick out and make people suspicious.

_And invisible security_?

Steve couldn't worry about that. He was already committed.

Slipping inside, he shut the door and turned the inner lock. Anyone who turned the outside doorknob would suspect nothing. He debated turning on the light, but decided against it. There were glass panes near the top of the walls through which the light would be visible from the corridor.

Slightly annoyed, Steve tried to let his eyes adjust and then began to move through the darkness. He had a vague sense of Carly's office being the back but had never actually looked for it before.

"Ouch!" he snapped, barely managing to keep his voice down. He had bashed his knee against the edge of a lab table. He heard the sound of something break and then something dripping. He raced as far from that table as he could, worried that whatever was now leaking might be poisonous. Then he regained his senses and chided himself for panicking.

"They won't keep anything that dangerous just sitting out," he said to himself. _At least, I hope they wouldn't._

Deciding not to risk jarring anything else in the darkness, Steve pulled out his flashlight. He had hoped not to use it until he got to Carly's office, just in case the light carried through the windows. But he could probably keep the light low enough to avoid detection.

With the light, he was able to reach the hallway to the back of the lab and the researchers' offices. Dr. Bishop. Dr. Manning. There it was, on the left.

Steve examined the door carefully, looking for any sign of an alarm. He saw no wires or a keypad like Shane used on that secret room at his house, so Steve decided there probably was no alarm.

Once again, he went to work on the lock. This was a little tougher than the outer door, but the pins eventually gave way with a click. Once inside, Steve did not bother pulling the door closed and began to immediately sweep the room with the light.

The wall was lined with boxes. He walked over to one and unsealed it. Inside were dozens of vials. He lifted one and studied the label on the vial, which read: "Polyvalent Scorpion Antivenom." _Scorpion venom_? _That's what that stuff was_? Unfortunately, that told Steve nothing about Lawrence. Seeing that the rest of the boxes lining the wall were of identical size and bore the same markings, he figured those also held antivenom.

Turning around, Steve spotted Carly's desk. Without hesitating, he adjusted his gloves and began sorting through the papers on the desk. Invoices were useless. There were some notes about some testing - he knew that from the title "Series 3 Testing" - but they otherwise could have been written in Greek for all Steve could understand.

Finishing with the papers on the desk, he pulled open the center drawer in the desk.

_Bingo_.

He had no idea why the word popped into his head, but he knew the file folder had something important in it. Not only was it stamped with the words "Top Secret: Classified," but it held the only papers in the entire center drawer, as if someone wanted to make sure it was easy to locate.

Steve pulled out the file and opened it. The words "CLASSIFIED - TOP SECRET" were stamped across the top. Underneath it, he saw words that chilled him: "Salem Attack - Worst Case Scenario."

Taking a deep breath, he skimmed the document. It broke down possible attacks on places in Salem - the Salem Auditorium, the Salem University basketball arena, the local high school - with estimates of casualties based on various mortality rates, responsiveness of local officials to recognize the emergency, and antidote potency. The report had a footnote next to the "antidote potency," with a note on the bottom of the page that researchers did not know the exact toxin so were experimenting with known antivenoms.

The numbers of anticipated dead for some of the listed scenarios ran into the thousands.

"Alamain. . . ." Steve shook his head in disbelief as he read. Could anyone be that crazy? Would Alamain really kill thousands of people just to get revenge on Salem? "It's insane," he said aloud. "Just insane."

_Insane and useless_, Steve added silently. The report might talk about the possibilities, but it had no predictions about Alamain's specific targets or the timing. Knowing what Lawrence might be planning in theory was not a big help.

Steve stuffed the file back in the drawer and began rooting through the other drawers. Nothing jumped out at him. He next went to the file cabinet and began searching through the files there, but they generally contained studies and reports. Reviewing them, he kept seeing the same symptoms over-and-over. "Constricted breathing." "Convulsions." "Pain."

"No," he told himself. He took a couple of breaths, using the techniques Kim had taught him to ward off flashbacks. Silently, he told himself, _You've been treated. Dr. Friedman cured you_.

It worked. The flashback turned into something distant, like a harmless move where he was just an observer. Now able to continue, he read some more. "Ptosis." Steve had no idea what that was. "Muscle weakness." He knew how that felt, remembering how the strength had leached out of his body, leaving him helpless.

He was beginning to feel helpless - helpless and frustrated as he got to the bottom drawer in the filing cabinet. There was nothing on Alamain in there that Steve did not already know.

"Dammit," he snapped, then froze as he heard sounds outside the office. _The door_, he thought. _Someone's unlocking the lab_. Steve flicked off his flashlight just as he heard the sound of the door opening. An instant later, the light outside Carly's office snapped on.

_Shit_. Steve rushed to the door and peeked around the door-jam. He had stayed in the lab too long. A janitor had just entered. Steve checked his watch, raising his wrist so the light from the main lab made it possible to read that it was 10:38 - 20 minutes before the janitors were supposed to arrive.

_Great. Just my luck that I picked the one night this guy started early._

Staying by the doorway, Steve pulled the door closed, but kept his hand on the knob. He waited until the janitor finished moving around in the main area. Steve wondered if the man had cleaned up whatever Steve had broken or if that was just something to be left for the lab researchers to notice. Steve hated leaving any sign behind that someone was in here, but maybe it would get chalked up to a clumsy janitor.

He continued to wait and held his breath as he heard footsteps approach the door. Closer. And closer. Then they stopped right outside. _I can't let him find me_, Steve told himself. If he had to, he would knock out the janitor and slip away.

Steve heard the sound of a door being unlocked. It was the other door - the one for Dr. Bishop's office across the hall. Carefully, Steve opened his door just a crack and saw the back of a powder-blue uniform.

_Time for me to bail._

Moving swiftly, Steve snuck through the door and pulled it closed. He had no way to lock it and no time to worry about that, so he slipped silently down the hall and into the main area before the janitor came out of the other office. The light made it easy to reach the main entrance, where the door was already open. With a quick glance in both directions, Steve made sure that nobody else was in the hallway. Then, he slipped out of the lab and sprinted for the closest hospital exit.

As he ran, he felt a whir of emotions. Exhilaration at having accomplished his mission mixed with disappointment that he had not learned much to help his search for Alamain. But he promised himself that he would find away. His search through Carly's office gave him a general idea of what Lawrence might be up to and he had an idea of how the ISA intended to react to an attack. That was all well and good, Steve thought, but that was just reacting to Alamain. Steve would not settle for reacting.

_I'm going to stop you, Alamain. You got that? I'm going to stop you._


	446. Chapter 446

Kim smiled absently at the desk officer as she approached the door to Roman's office at the Salem Police Department. The man recognized her and just nodded as Kim walked by.

Reaching the door, Kim knocked softly. When she heard Roman's distinctive "Come in," Kim took a deep breath and entered the office.

"Kim," Roman said, standing and walking from around his desk. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

Kim shook her head and gave her brother a quick hug. "Nothing's wrong. I was just hoping you might have a few minutes to talk."

Roman's eyes narrowed but he just pointed to the chair by his desk. "Sure. Have a seat."

Kim sat down and waited for Roman to return to his chair. Once he was seated, Roman looked at her expectantly. "So, what's on your mind?"

Smiling slightly, Kim said, "I think you know. I haven't been able to talk to you since your . . . altercation with Shane the other day."

Roman's eyes dropped for a moment before returning to meet Kim's gaze. "I suppose I should apologize for that . . . but I'm not sure I can. It's a little hard to be civil to the man who left me in a hellhole for seven years."

Kim flinched slightly at the hard edge to Roman's voice. She was not sure she could get past Roman's anger and make him listen, but she was determined to try.

"I know what the article said, and I know how it makes things sound," she began. "But you have to believe me that it's not the whole story."

Roman shook his head. "That's what you say and that's what Donovan said. But the fact is that he left me there and never told you or the family that I was alive. What else is there to be said?"

"Those are the bare facts, Roman," Kim said. "But you're judging Shane without bothering to try and understand why he made the choice he made. You've been involved in enough missions and difficult situations to know that motivation and intent matters."

Roman scoffed. "So what are you saying, Kimberly? That just because he didn't mean to leave me there, nothing else matters?"

"Of course not," Kim said quickly. "But unless you can look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't do whatever you had to do to rescue Bo or Kayla or me, then you need to at least listen to what Shane has to say."

Roman stared at Kim for a moment, clearly not willing to concede anything easily. But after a few moments, he relaxed slightly and nodded. "All right, Kimmie. I'll listen to what Donovan has to say. For you."

Kim smiled, feeling relief wash through her. "Thank you-"

"Don't thank me yet," Roman interrupted. "I'm not saying it's going to change how I feel. I'm just going to give him a chance to tell his side of the story."

"Understood, Commander Brady," Kim said with a smile. That was about as good as she could have hoped for. Glancing around the office, she asked, "So how does it feel to be back to work?"

"It's about the only thing that feels the same," Roman replied wryly. "It's good to know that police work hasn't changed that much in seven years." His smile faded. "Unlike almost everything else."

Kim's heart went out to her brother and she forced a light tone to her voice. "Come on, Roman. It's not like everything has changed." She grinned. "I'm a little older, but I'm still your little sister, aren't I?"

Roman laughed. "Yes, you are. It doesn't matter how old you are, you will always be my little sis." He looked at Kim curiously. "I have to admit I'm a little surprised that you stayed in Salem all this time. I always figured you would have gone back to Europe and your big photography career."

Kim started slightly at Roman's words. It had been so long that she had forgotten that Roman had only known about her career as a photographer in Europe - what little a career it was. She knew she would have to tell him the truth, but she wondered if now was the time. He had already had enough shocks. Learning that his little sister had been a hooker might be one he did not need right now.

"Well . . . I guess you could say that a lot of things happened," she said, keeping her tone light. "When I came home, I started working at the abuse clinic. And once Andrew was born, I guess that became the most important career I could have."

Roman nodded. "I know. It's just that I remember how proud Pop always was of his successful daughter 'gallivanting around Europe' as he would say." He smiled at Kim. "We always knew you had this great future in front of you."

Kim felt her body tighten with anger at the implication in Roman's words. Keeping her tone even, she replied, "I'm very happy with my life, Roman."

"I'm sure you are," Roman said. "I'm just wondering why you stayed in Salem. You couldn't wait to get out of town after you finished school. I never thought you'd come back to stay."

_Because I was running from a lot of really bad memories, _Kim thought silently. Trying to keep her anger in check, Kim said quietly. "Well maybe you just didn't know me as well as you thought you did."

Roman chuckled. "Come on, Kimmie. You're my sister. Nobody knows you better than I do." He held up his hands. "Look . . . I get that you fell in love with Donovan. I'm just sorry that he kept you here instead of letting you continue your career in Europe."

The arrogance in Roman's tone caused Kim to lose the last of her control. Standing, she stared hard at Roman. "Shane Donovan didn't keep me from doing anything," Kim replied through clenched teeth. "You think I was living this great life in Europe? Well let me tell you the truth, Roman. I wasn't making ends meet as a photographer. I was a prostitute."

Roman's eyes flew open wide at Kim's words. He stared at her for a moment, then slowly said, "What did you say?"

"I said I was a prostitute, Roman," Kim shot back. "A call girl. An escort. A hooker. Whatever you want to call it." She turned away. "You're right that I couldn't wait to leave Salem, but you know why?"

Very quietly and hesitantly, Roman said, "Why?"

"Because I had been abused - sexually abused by Uncle Eric." At Roman's astonished look, Kim nodded. "It's true. Uncle Eric molested me for years."

"I . . . I had no idea," Roman stammered.

"Nobody did," Kim said evenly as she looked back at her brother. "I was very good at keeping secrets, and for years, I kept that one and I felt worthless. So . . . first chance I got, I ran away from all those memories. But when my photography career stalled, I turned to what I thought was the only thing I was good for."

Roman opened his mouth to say something and then shut it. Then he opened it again. "I . . . God, I'm sorry, sis."

"I don't need your pity," Kim said, failing to keep the hard edge from her voice. "I've dealt with my past. And I've used it to build my career as a counselor. I can help those children at the abuse clinic, because I know what they're going through."

Roman shook his head sadly. "I wish I could have helped you. You could have told me when you came home."

"No, I couldn't," Kim said. "It was bad enough that I had no real photography career. I was ashamed to come home and tell my family I had failed. After all, you all had such great expectations for me." Kim failed to keep the sarcasm from her voice. "But at least, when I first came back from Europe, I thought I had escaped that life." Her voice lowered as she remembered what happened when she returned. "But that wasn't enough. I was blackmailed into continuing that . . . profession." She offered a humorless smile. "You know who helped me escape that blackmail? Shane did, Roman. Shane saved me - in so many ways."

Roman stared at her in stunned silence as he seemed to absorb everything. Finally, he asked, "Do . . . does the rest of the family know?"

Kim took a deep breath and nodded. "For a while, only Marlena, Bo, and Shane knew. Then the whole truth came out a few years ago. It wasn't easy, but we all got past it." She looked her brother in the eye. "Can you do the same?"

Roman took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "You're my sister, Kim. I love you no matter what. I . . . I just never expected to hear that."

"I know," Kim replied. "But you were bound to find out eventually. The whole world pretty much knows because it was reported after Shane's arrest. Sooner or later, you would have seen it. It's better that you hear it from me." She looked into Roman's eyes. "And I want you to understand what kind of man Shane is. He knew about my past and accepted it."

"Then why are you two divorced?" Roman asked. "If he's so wonderful, what happened to your marriage?"

Kim sighed. That was a long story she definitely was not going to get into. "He is wonderful, Roman. But neither one of us is perfect and we both made some big mistakes. But that doesn't matter anymore. We've worked hard to find our way back to each other, and we are going to make a life together with our children."

"Even if he goes to prison?" Roman asked. "After all, he's facing those treason charges. Those are pretty serious."

Kim shook her head. "He's not a traitor. The sooner you believe that, the better it will be for everybody. But if the ISA succeeds in framing him and sending him to prison, then you can bet that I will be waiting for him when he gets out."

"You love him that much?"

"I love him that much."

Roman was silent for a moment and Kim glanced at her watch. "I need to get going. I have a meeting this afternoon." She smiled at Roman. "I'm holding you to your agreement to talk to Shane. You two need to clear the air."

Roman nodded, still quiet. Kim turned and walked to the door, stopping when she heard Roman call her name. She turned around and watched as he walked towards her. When he reached her, he held out his arms and pulled her into a hug.

"Thanks for stopping by to see me, sis."

Kim nodded, feeling a lump in her throat. "Talk to Shane. That's all the thanks I need."

Walking out the door, Kim closed it behind her and began the walk back to the parking lot and her car. That conversation had not gone exactly as planned, but at least she had gotten Roman's agreement to listen to Shane. She just hoped Shane could make Roman understand the past so that the whole family could finally move forward.


	447. Chapter 447

Sitting in her car in the parking lot outside the apartment building, Kayla took a few deep breaths to bring her churning emotions under control. She needed to compose herself before going inside to face her husband.

To say the day had been difficult would be an understatement. She had gone to work as normal and had met Carly arriving at the lab at the same time. Together they had entered the lab, prepared for another day.

That was when the day had taken a turn for the worse. Upon entering the lab, they had immediately noticed the remains of a broken vial on a table, its contents in a puddle on the floor. Their hope that it was just the result of a careless janitor had been dashed when Carly had reported that her office door was unlocked and some papers had been moved around on her desk.

That revelation had resulted in a call to the head of hospital security. Kayla, Carly, and the other people who worked in the lab had spent the entire day doing a complete check of the inventory, trying to determine what had been taken.

After several hours of painstakingly counting the numerous items in the lab's inventory, Kayla and Carly had finally reached the conclusion that nothing was missing. While that revelation had relieved Carly and Dr. Bishop, and had caused them to return to the original conclusion that it was the work of a careless janitor, it had the opposite effect on Kayla.

From the moment she realized someone had broken into the lab, Kayla had thought of Steve. He had been preoccupied ever since she had told him about Carly's project and the connection to Lawrence Alamain. But what had really triggered her suspicions was the fact that he had been gone several evenings recently, including the previous night.

Each night, there had been some reason. Two nights, it had been to shoot a few games of pool at the Heart. Another night, it had been to meet Marcus for a late dinner after Marcus's shift at the hospital. At first, Kayla had not thought much of it, and he had never been gone for more than a couple hours, but now she had her suspicions as to what Steve had really been doing.

Taking one last moment to collect herself, Kayla exited the car and walked to the building. When she reached the apartment door, she took and deep breath and then opened it.

When she entered the apartment, the living room was empty. "Steve?" she called. After a moment, he appeared through the door to the kitchen. He was carrying Stephanie in his arms.

"Sweetness?" He looked at her with concern. "Is everything okay? You're home early."

Kayla nodded and took Stephanie from Steve. "I'm fine." She put Stephanie in the playpen and surrounded her with toys, hoping they would keep her occupied for a little while.

"So why are you home so early?" Steve asked, still sounding concerned.

Moving away from the playpen, Kayla tried to keep her voice calm. "There was a possible break-in in the lab last night. By the time we finished checking everything and dealing with security, there was no point in staying." Her eyes did not leave his face as she spoke.

"A break-in!" Steve sounded surprised. "Why would anyone break into the immunology lab?"

_Gotcha_, Kayla thought silently. She was sure that nobody else in the world would have known Steve was lying, but she knew her husband too well. His tone was a little too surprised, and, more importantly, his eye never quite met hers.

Kayla shrugged in response to his question. "That's the mystery. Nothing was taken, and we probably wouldn't have known anything had happened, but there was a broken glass on a table and Carly's office door was left unlocked."

"Well, if nothing's missing, maybe it was just a sloppy janitor," Steve said, still avoiding Kayla's direct gaze.

"Maybe," Kayla agreed. "That's what hospital security seems to think. They plan to speak to the man tonight. If it was him, I'm afraid he'll be out of a job."

Kayla did not miss Steve's flinch at that remark. If she was not sure before, she was now. What he did not know was that Kayla had convinced the hospital not to fire the janitor, no matter what. She had insisted that everyone deserved a second chance.

"The guy shouldn't lose his job just because he had one bad night," Steve said, a little too forcefully.

"Maybe not," Kayla replied. "But the lab is filled with delicate and important experiments and information. We can't afford to have careless accidents there."

"I'm sure the guy didn't mean to do any harm," Steve insisted. "You can't let him lose his job over this."

Kayla could hear the guilt in Steve's voice. If she was not so close to losing her temper, she might have almost felt bad for him. "Don't worry, Steve," she finally replied coldly. "I couldn't let them fire an innocent man. Especially when we both know who was really responsible."

Steve's eye widened at Kayla's tone. He stared for a moment, then finally asked, "What are you trying to say, Kayla?"

Kayla scoffed. "I'm saying that we both know you're the one that broke into the lab." She looked him in the eye and continued. "I knew you were upset after I told you about what Carly had shown me. I could tell you were stewing over it, but I wanted to give you time. I stupidly believed that you would talk to me about what you were feeling when you were ready." She shook her head ruefully. "You'd think I would have learned my lesson about that by now."

"Sweetness-"

"Don't." Kayla held up her hand. "Don't bother to try and deny it. You weren't meeting Marcus for dinner last night. You weren't playing pool at the Cheating Heart the other night. You were figuring out how to break into the lab. What I want to know is why. Why would you do that?"

Steve took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair before adjusting the patch over his eye. "I'm sorry I lied to you," he finally said. "But I figured it was better if you didn't know what I was doing."

"Don't pretend you lied to me to protect me," Kayla snapped angrily. "You didn't tell me, because you knew I'd never let you do it." She stared angrily at her husband. "I told you everything Carly told me. What on earth did you think you would accomplish?"

"I don't know," Steve shot back. "I don't know what I thought I'd find. But I had to try and find something. That maniac is out there, killing people so that he can perfect his formula for killing us - you, me, our family." Steve threw his hands in the air in frustration. "We both know he's coming after Salem again. I can't just sit back and wait for it to happen."

Kayla took a deep breath to calm herself. She glanced towards Stephanie, but she had fallen asleep in her playpen. Kayla was grateful that her daughter was blissfully unaware of the argument taking place between her parents.

"I understand why you're worried about Lawrence Alamain, Steve." She ran her hand down her face in frustration. "But if you'd been caught breaking into the lab, you'd have been arrested. How are you going to accomplish anything if you're in jail?"

"I wasn't planning on getting caught," Steve said calmly. "I wasn't going to take anything. But I needed to know what Carly and the ISA know, and it was the only way I could find out. If I'd talked to Carly, she'd have known you talked to me, and that would have gotten you in trouble."

Kayla did not know whether to laugh or cry. She understood why Steve had done what he had done - and a part of her loved him for his single-minded focus on protecting his family. But his tendency to leap without thinking about the consequences was the flipside of that protective instinct.

"So . . . did you find anything?" Kayla finally asked, plopping down on the couch and not knowing what else to say or do.

Steve walked around the couch and sat down beside her. "Not really." He shrugged and offered a chagrined smile. "The janitor showed up before I got a chance to look too closely."

Kayla had to laugh at that. The whole situation was just so absurd. Steve took advantage of her laughter and put his arm around her shoulder. Kayla leaned into him, but then turned and looked at him.

"Don't think this means that you are off the hook," she said seriously. "I'm still mad at you for lying to me and for breaking into the lab." She pointed at their daughter. "You have a little girl over there who needs her father. If you won't stop and think for me, can you at least do it for her?"

Steve was silent and Kayla could see him watching Stephanie sleep. Finally, he turned to her. "I'm sorry I lied to you, baby. I just didn't know any other way. I know you don't like it, but I was thinking about you and Stephanie. I'll do anything I have to in order to protect you both."

"You can't protect us if you aren't here with us," Kayla insisted. "That's what we need."

Steve nodded, but said nothing further. In a way, Kayla was glad. Any further assurances would have been hard for her to believe anyway, and the last thing she wanted was for him to lie to her again. They sat together for a few minutes until Steve got up and went into the kitchen and Kayla took Stephanie into her room.

As she laid her daughter down in her crib, Kayla said a silent prayer that somebody, somewhere would figure out how to stop Lawrence Alamain before her husband got himself put in jail, hurt . . . or worse trying to do it himself.


	448. Chapter 448

Shane stared at John. "Mauritius? Lawrence sure does get around."

John shrugged. "I don't know. If you want . . . I've got a passport and check it out."

"No," Shane said. "Tarrington would never let you back into the country. Let things blow over a bit before you take any foreign trips."

"Yeah, partner, that's probably a good idea." John chuckled. "Well, I'll do what I can to keep up with my contacts. Hopefully, word of the return of the real Roman Brady won't spread too quickly."

"You didn't have any problem with that?"

John shook his head. "Not at all. Nobody asked any questions."

Shane was not that surprised. He doubted the ISA higher-ups wanted word to get around that the ISA had failed to discover that John was not really Roman Brady. "See if you can get any idea of what Lawrence is doing in Mauritius. If I'd hazard a guess, he's probably moved his labs there. It's relatively stable, has no real groups that international law enforcement would track, and probably has eminently bribe-able officials."

John raised an eyebrow. "Not only have you heard of Mauritius, but you actually know something about it?" He shook his head. "Don't bother explaining how. . . . If you're right about that, it sounds right up Larry's alley."

Just before Shane could respond, there was a knock at the library door and Simmons entered. "Master Roman Brady is here to see you."

Shane tensed. _Roman is here_? The last time Roman had shown up at the house was when he had nearly strangled Shane. That had been four days earlier.

"Want me to deal with him?" John asked.

"No," Shane answered. He suspected Roman was there because of something Kim had said. She had told Shane about her visit to her brother and how he agreed to listen to Shane's explanation. Maybe Roman had decided to follow through. "Show him in, Simmons." Then Shane turned to John. "I doubt you want to be here for this."

"I'm not going anywhere," John said. "He may be wearing a cup this time."

Shane grimaced at the reminder of how he had kneed Roman in the groin the other day. It had been an act of desperation and not one that Shane was particularly proud about. But it had given him more incentive to push his physical therapist into increasing his strength training.

Pushing that thought aside, Shane remembering Johns' quip and responded. "I don't think he's going to attack me. He wouldn't have had Simmons announce him."

"Fine," John replied, crossing his arms and leaning against Shane's desk. "I'll just make sure he continues to play nice."

There was no further time to debate the issue, because Simmons returned a moment later. "Master Brady, sir."

Roman gave Simmons a curious look as he stepped through the door. He scowled immediately on seeing John.

"Why am I not surprised to see you're here?" he said, his voice little more than a growl.

Shane responded before John could. "Roman, please. . . ."

"Fine," Roman muttered. "I promised Doc I'd be nice."

"How nice of her," John said under his breath. It did not appear that Roman heard him. Shane glanced at John, but decided to ignore the comment.

"So I gather you're here to discuss Rachel Knight's article," Shane said.

Roman took a few closer. "I'm here because of my sister. I'm not going to pretend I trust you, Donovan, but Kimmie said I should at least hear you out, so I'm here."

Shane pointed to the couch. "Why don't you have a seat? Do you want some tea? Something stronger."

"No, I don't want some tea - or anything else from you," Roman snapped, as he sat down. He stopped, raised both hands, and took a noticeable breath. "Look," he said, more calmly, though he continued to glare. "Just tell me about this thing with Stefano. Kimmie said I should give you a chance to explain. . . . So explain."

Shane exchanged a look with John, who stared back with an expectant look. It dawned on Shane that he had never told John the whole story. Maybe he was curious. He still had Roman Brady's memories, after all.

"All right." Shane paused as he figured out exactly where to begin. He had not really rehearsed this, even though he had often thought about what he would say if it ever came up. He looked at Roman who stared back.

"Any time now," Roman said.

Shane nodded as he decided how to begin. "Okay. . . . This happened in January '85. It was only a few weeks after we thought you'd died."

"You knew that early?" John asked, sounding surprised.

"Just hear me out," Shane said. "We knew Stefano was coming to Salem to try to get the third prism - you remember the prisms, right?" When Roman nodded, Shane continued. "So I was here already, but there was another part of our operation still going on in the Caribbean."

Roman interrupted. "Stefano's island, let me guess?"

"A former compound that we knew of," Shane explained. "We had no intelligence that Stefano had been there in years, but after he blew up his compound on the island where he caught me, we began looking at his other known haunts in the Caribbean. He had been on a yacht when you were killed - I mean when we thought-"

"I know what you mean," Roman said. "So you checked out this old compound?"

Shane nodded, remembering being in the operations office with Nickerson and listening to the radio traffic. "We had no idea that Stefano had prisoners there. We couldn't send planes overhead, because it would have raised red flags, and surveillance ships couldn't get too close. Pretty much all we knew was from monitoring traffic by radar and sonar to the island, but all that told us was that there was movement." He paused as he thought about the initial planning meetings with Nickerson. "We debated sending in a large force, but I didn't think we should - not until we knew what we were dealing with."

"Makes sense," John said. Shane could see Roman nodding, though probably unaware he was doing so.

"So we sent in a three-man commando unit, had aerial back-up ready. . . you know the operation." In Shane's mind, he heard the radio traffic. He was back in the operations room, just him and Nickerson. "The surveillance team divided up. One of the agents managed to access what he thought might be a research facility. Remember, we knew Stefano had some plan to use the prisms to cure himself, and finding out what we could about the prisms was a priority objective."

_"Viking 1, we have a situation."_

Almost as if it were happening again, Shane heard the radio call. Instantly, he knew they had found something completely unexpected. Even before the mission had commenced, Shane had a sense of foreboding, but hearing those words had told him something was gravely wrong. "It wasn't a research facility," Shane said to Roman and John. "It was some type of secure medical facility. And there were two patients."

"Let me guess." Roman cut Shane off. "Me and this brother of yours?"

"Yes," Shane said. "At first, we didn't know it, but the agents described you both to a tee. "You were both drugged. Drew - my brother - was semi-conscious; you weren't."

Roman interrupted again. "But you knew I was alive, right?"

"We did. And we would've figured something out, but then the shooting started."

"The shooting?" That came from John.

Shane nodded. "A patrol spotted another agent, and everything cratered quite rapidly. Nickerson called in the back-up and ordered the unit to the beach. I-" Shane stopped short as Roman stood up from the couch. He took a few steps and frowned.

"Why didn't you order a rescue?"

"I tried," Shane insisted. He remembered the argument with Nickerson. "I pushed him to scramble a marine unit out of Guantanamo, but Nickerson refused. There was no time for them to get to the island, and we didn't have the manpower on the ground. But he threw me a bone - he said our agent inside . . . could perform a rescue. But there was a catch. We could only save one agent."

Roman eyed him. "And you chose your brother."

"That's . . . that right," Shane said. He shook his head as he thought about all the times he had replayed that decision in his head. "I could tell you all the good tactical reasons for choosing Drew-"

"Such as?" Roman interrupted, his glare never wavering.

"We didn't know your condition, let alone if you could be moved safely. Bloody hell, Roman, you'd been shot and fallen off a cliff just weeks earlier. Trying to get you out of there might have killed you. From the report, Drew at least seemed like he could carry some of his own weight out of there. And Drew had been with Stefano longer, so he probably could give us more intelligence on his operations. Not to mention-" Shane cut himself off. "Look. . . . I said I could tell you all the reasons, but I won't lie to you and say those were my reasons."

Shane took a deep breath and looked at the picture on the mantle over the fireplace. It was of him and Drew, taken shortly after their graduation from Eton. The two young men were virtually indistinguishable.

"So are you going to tell me your reasons?" Roman asked impatiently.

Shane turned back to Roman. "He was my brother. Plain and simple. I had a choice and I chose my brother."

Roman harrumphed. "Your brother and a traitor."

"I didn't know that," Shane said. "I had no reason to suspect anything. Drew had always been a loyal agent. He believed in the ISA so much he joined up as early as he could."

The room fell silent for a minute, and Shane waited for Roman to respond. "Okay, so you didn't know he was a traitor. Am I still supposed to just accept that you left me there?"

"No." Shane ran a hand through his head. "I don't expect you to accept anything. I can understand why you're angry. I'm just trying to make you understand why I made that decision at that time."

John looked at Roman and interrupted. "Come on, pal. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing. If it were Bo and some random agent? You'd pick Bo 100 times out of 100."

"Oh, you know that, do you?" Roman snapped.

"Yeah, I do," John shot back. "Because I would've done the same thing. If it were Bo and Shane back then, I'd have saved Bo, even though all the logic would say to get Shane out. In a time like that, to hell with logic."

Roman seemed to concede the point. "Okay . . . so you had okay reasons to choose your brother. But why didn't you come back for me?"

"I wanted to, Roman." Shane remembered his arguments with Nickerson in the weeks that followed. Shane had tried to organize a Navy SEAL team for a rescue mission, but Nickerson had nixed it. "Intelligence said you were moved. DiMera's people cleared the place out right after, and we didn't know where they moved you. We knew Stefano was in Caracas, but nothing indicated that you were taken there. Now we know you were probably taken to San Cristobal, but we didn't know about any operations Stefano had there. . . . Under the circumstances, I decided the best chance of finding you was to capture Stefano in Salem. But then Marlena shot him and we thought he died."

Roman began to pace. "Doc told me how she shot him. . . . But the ISA knew Stefano was still alive-"

"I didn't" Shane said quickly. "I didn't know about that until much later. I thought Marlena had killed him." That was the truth. He had still believed it a year later. Shane remembered how shocked he had been when Bo told him Marlena believed John Black was Stefano.

"I'm having a hard time believing that," Roman growled. "You were heading the DiMera task force."

Shane knew he had to explain what happened after Stefano's apparent death, but he also knew he had to carefully choose his words. If he told Roman about dropping the third prism in the Atlantic, it would probably confirm in his mind that Shane was a traitor. And Kim and Leopold Bronski was a subject that Shane also knew he should avoid. "Let's just say that a lot happened on that mission to bring down Stefano, and I left the ISA after Marlena shot him."

Roman's eyes narrowed. Obviously, he knew there was a lot Shane was not saying. "You just left?"

"Yes," Shane said. Of course, he would have been fired if he had not left, but again, that was not a fact worth discussing right now. "I left and when I came back, I had a new assignment."

"Victor Kiriakis," John said.

Shane nodded. "Yes, Victor. I didn't find out Stefano was alive until 1988. By that time, we believed you were back."

Roman still had questions. "Okay, so you didn't know about Stefano, but why didn't you tell my family I was alive? Even if I accept everything else, that's the one thing that's inexcusable."

_Maybe it was_, Shane thought to himself. _Maybe there is no excuse, not even an explanation._ "Roman . . . that was one of the hardest things I've had to live with. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Oh?" Roman stopped pacing and crossed his arms in a defiant stance. "Why don't you explain that?"

_I'll try. _"It was Nickerson. I didn't realize it at the time, but he probably knew you were alive from the beginning."

"Nickerson knew?" Roman raised an eyebrow.

At first surprised, Shane then remembered that there was no reason for Roman to have known about the game Nickerson had played with Victor and Petrov. John had been the Pawn, and there was no reason that the real Roman Brady had to have known anything about the Pawn, Nickerson or anything else about the game.

"Nickerson was a traitor. He and Victor Kiriakis and Petrov-"

"DiMera's Petrov?"

"The very one," Shane told Roman. "They had some kind of game. Winner take all. Victor put up the money, Nickerson put up some kind of deal that would give the winner a lot of power - probably some type of immunity from prosecution - and Petrov put up the Pawn, someone unknown to the ISA at the time, but very important to the competitors."

"Me," John said.

Shane nodded again. "You, or who we thought was Roman Brady. . . . Nickerson had to know who the Pawn was to participate in the game. And he couldn't have me telling people Roman was alive."

"What did the bastard do?" John asked.

"Blackmail. After we got Drew out, Stefano put a bounty out on him. Looking back, that must have been a sham - something Stefano did to make us trust Drew - but it seemed real at the time." Shane walked over to the mantle and again looked at the picture. "The ISA put him in protective custody. And Nickerson told me he'd cut Drew loose if I said anything about Roman being alive. I couldn't take that chance."

Roman shook his head. "I can't believe that. You could've told my family. If they had to keep it secret, they would have. I don't believe you could've loved my sister and kept her in the dark about it."

Shane could feel his frustration rising. "I don't know if I could have either," he said. "I suspect I would've probably told her at some point, but then it became moot. You - or who we thought was you - came back. After that, what was the point in telling her I knew you were alive in those intervening months?"

"Seems like the coward's way out," Roman said evenly. "Leaving Marlena, my folks . . . Kim in the dark."

"Maybe it was," Shane replied. "Maybe I should have done something different. Knowing what I know now about Drew, I wish I'd done something different. But I can't change the past."

Roman just stood there, arms crossed and scowling. "And that's it? The past is the past? I'm supposed to go, 'Oh, now I understand and it's fine that I spent all those years in DiMera's hellhole because of it?' Maybe you had your reasons, but it doesn't change what I went through. And it doesn't change the fact that you could've done something about it - even if it was just checking out _him_" - Roman pointed at John - "a little."

Shane did not know what to say. Maybe he should have tried to learn more about John at the time. But Shane was focused on other things - Kim, Andrew, and Victor. And everyone seemed convinced by John. Shane shook his head. None of that mattered to Roman. He wanted a reason to mistrust Shane. There was really no reason to continue, Shane thought, wanting to throw up his hands and be done with it.

"So you don't have anything to say," Roman muttered. His voice rising, he said, "Fine. . . . I told Kimmie I'd listen, and I listened. Maybe you had your reasons, and maybe when I think it over, I'll even understand. But here's something you'd better understand. I know you want me to believe the ISA framed an innocent agent, but I don't buy that. The ISA wouldn't do something to hurt a loyal agent."

"No?" John asked sharply. "Maybe you should ask Marlena how much she liked Vaughn kidnapping her."

"That was Vaughn, not the ISA," Roman said.

John stepped forward. "For the ISA . . . but even if you don't believe that, what about this story. Why do you think the ISA leaked it, except to hurt all of us? Don't you see they're using you right now"

"Hey! Nobody's using me, pal." Roman started toward John. John responded in kind, fists raised.

"Enough," Shane shouted, startling the others, who stopped and turned toward him. "Fighting won't solve anything. If you come to blows, it's only going to hurt Marlena and Kim."

To Shane's surprise, that seemed to work. John and Roman stepped back from one another.

"I think you'd better be going, pal," John growled.

Roman snorted. "Sound about right." He looked at Shane. "I did what Kimmie asked, but it doesn't change things. I still don't trust you." With that, he spun around and stomped through the door.

Left alone with John, Shane could only sigh and shake his head. He glanced at John, who shrugged. "You tried," John said.

_I did, even if it was futile._ But there was nothing he could do about it now, so he turned back to John. "Maybe actions speak louder than words," Shane said. "When we bring in Alamain, he's going to have to trust us. So . . . let's go back to that, and figure out how we're going to keep tabs on him in Mauritius."


	449. Chapter 449

"So we need two cases of the 20x150 glass test tubes and 10 packs of the 90 ml centrifuge tubes," Carly said. "We also are running low on pipettes."

Kayla wrote all of that down. "That shouldn't be a problem. I'll place the order this afternoon and you should have the new supplies by the end of next week. . . . Oh, wait, probably the week after. Thanksgiving will probably delay their shipping schedule."

"That's okay," Carly said. "We should be okay for a few weeks."

Kayla nodded. She had been pretty good at making sure the lab had ample supplies. "Good. . . . Speaking of Thanksgiving, you are joining us, aren't you?"

"I don't think Bo would let me miss it," Carly replied. "He's already worrying about your folks' plan to invite John and Isabella."

Kayla knew what Carly meant. Caroline had called Kayla the day before to discuss her idea of bringing the entire family - including John - together for the holiday. "_The holiday is a day to be thankful for what we have_," Caroline had said. "_And we have Roman back, but also John as well_."

But while Kayla understood that her mother thought Roman would soften toward John because of the holiday, she had doubts. Roman had been at odds with the entire family over John, and it had also affected Roman's view of Steve. Thanksgiving was Roman's first chance to see Steve as a father and member of the family, and Kayla had hoped it might make Roman see the good sides of Steve that he refused to acknowledge. But Kayla doubted that would happen if John were there. She did not think Roman could look past his anger.

"You don't seem too enthusiastic," Carly said.

Kayla sighed. "I don't know. I love John, but I just don't want any conflict; we've had so much already. And I want it to be nice for my folks. Last year, none of us was here for Thanksgiving."

"That means this year's already an improvement," Carly pointed out. Last year, we were trapped under Lawrence Alamain's house for Thanksgiving."

"Good point," Kayla said with a grin. _And last year, I was a widow. This year, I have Steve_. It was a sobering thought.

She was about to say something else, but there was a knock on Carly's door. Kayla turned around to see that Dr. Bishop had not even waited for Carly to say "come in," but had opened the door and was now standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he said. "I need Kayla to come with me to my office. . . . It's . . . um, rather important."

Dr. Bishop's tone indicated something was wrong. Kayla turned back to Carly, who had a "don't ask me what this is all about?" look on her face. Kayla suspected her expression was similar, but she stood up from her chair and followed Dr. Bishop across the hall to his office.

Stepping inside, Kayla realized that they were not alone. Neil Curtis and Julie Williams were standing on the far side of the room.

"Kayla. . . ." Julie said, a rueful look on her face. "We have a bit of a problem."

"A problem?" Neil blurted out angrily. "This is more than a problem. This is an outrage."

Julie put a hand on his arm. "Neil, we don't have a choice."

Dr. Bishop, who had crossed behind his desk, nodded. "I don't like this any more than you do, Neil, but the ISA could shut us down."

"I don't like it either," Julie said.

"Don't like what?" Kayla was confused. "Would one of you please tell me what's going on?"

Julie looked at Neil, who looked at Dr. Bishop and then back at Kayla. "You are being removed from the immunology lab, effective immediately."

"What?" Kayla could not believe her ears. "Why? I've done nothing wrong." _Except tell my husband about a top secret project_, she thought guiltily. _But they couldn't know that, could they_?

"Of course, you haven't done anything wrong," Julie said. "It's just the ISA. . . ."

"The ISA?" Kayla scowled. "What do they have to do with this?"

Julie looked down. "It's like with Shane. The ISA thinks you're a security risk and has ordered that you be removed from the lab."

"And if you don't, they'll cut off your virus supplies." Kayla knew the score. The ISA had ultimate control when it came to the lab.

"I wish there was more we could do," Neil said. "Julie and I argued for more than an hour with Chief Tarrington, but he refused to back down. He wouldn't even tell us why you're suddenly considered a risk when you've been running the lab since day one."

_He didn't have to tell you_, Kayla thought. _I already know_.

Somehow, the ISA had found out Steve had broken into the lab. That was the only possible explanation. She wondered how. The day after the break-in, they had reviewed the hospital surveillance tapes and seen nothing. Kayla suspected that there were cameras and other surveillance equipment around the lab that hospital security knew nothing about.

"I'm sorry," Neil said.

"So I guess I'm out of a job again," Kayla muttered, feeling the stirring of anger inside her. "It doesn't matter how much work I've put into this place, I'm just out," she said angrily. She took a deep breath to control her emotions. It was not Neil's fault. More calmly she said, "I'll collect my things."

"Wait," Neil said. "You're suspended from the lab, Kayla, not the hospital. The ISA doesn't control staffing there."

She felt momentarily grateful, but had to point out, "The hospital is fully staffed. I mean I've only been working nurse's shifts because I asked to. It's not like you really needed me."

"We've got the trauma center now," Neil said. "There's nobody better to work there. With your experience down at the riverfront, it would be crazy not to have you work with Marcus in running the trauma center."

"You did tell me not so long ago that you wanted to work more with patients," Julie added.

Julie was right, but that was not the point. The point was that Kayla should be making her own choice about where to work, not being stripped of her choice because . . . well she didn't really want to think about why right now.

"Kayla?" Neil was waiting for her to respond.

"Okay," she said. "I just wish I could tell the ISA where they could shove their security risk. . . ."

"Better you don't - not that I don't agree with you." Neil sighed. "I wish there was something we could do, but the ISA has us over a barrel."

With a sigh, Kayla nodded. "I know." She turned and headed for the door. "I'll get my things out of my office immediately."

As she walked out of the room, her anger began to rise anew. She had spent the better part of a year building this lab, and now, just like that, she was no longer part of it. She was no longer even allowed to enter it.

All because she'd been foolish enough to trust her husband.


	450. Chapter 450

"Master Andrew to see you, sir."

Shane looked up from his desk, surprised at first by Simmons announcing Andrew. Then Shane caught the look in Simmons' eyes and knew he was not going to like the reason.

"Send him in," Shane said.

Simmons stepped back out of the way of the study door so Andrew could came in. He hung his head low and seemed to inch his way across the floor until he was only a few feet away from Shane's desk. Shane waited until Andrew looked up, exposing a swollen left eye surrounded by a darkening circle.

Shane already had a suspicion, but he asked, "That's quite a shiner you've got there - do you want to tell me how you got it?"

Andrew stared glumly at Shane for a moment, then looked down.

"Were you in a fight?" Shane asked.

"He started it," Andrew said. "Jimmy said you were a bad guy and should be in jail. He said his father's sending you away forever."

Shane looked at Simmons and asked, "Jimmy?"

"Jimmy Pasqua, sir. He's an older boy, I believe."

"He's in third grade," Andrew said.

And undoubtedly the son of the Assistant U.S. Attorney, which would explain the comment about his father sending Shane away.

Shane stood up and walked around the desk. He thought for a minute that he should let Kim handle this, but then shook his head. He was Andrew's father.

"Why don't we take a little walk?" Shane said. He took Andrew's hand and headed for the door to the garden. Simmons followed a discrete distance behind, obviously to make sure that Shane did not push himself too hard physically.

Once outside in the garden, Andrew asked, "Where are we going?" It was a brisk November day, but the sun was bright in the sky.

"I thought we'd walk to the lake," Shane replied. "While we do that, you can tell me exactly what Jimmy said."

As they walked through the garden, Shane got a pretty good picture. The other boy had been bragging about his father and how he put 'bad guys' away and then told Andrew that he was going to do the same to Shane.

"He's a lot bigger than me, but I told him to shut up," Andrew said. "I told him you were a hero, not a traitor. He just laughed and said I was a baby if I believe that. He shouldn't have said that."

Shane sighed at the reminder of the treason charges the way it affected his family. "No, he shouldn't have. . . ." Shane stopped. They had reached the garden gate and Shane was glad to stop momentarily. His heart was pounding from the exertion, but he was not completely winded. That was a noticeable improvement. To let his heart rate return to normal, he took his time opening the gate.

"Are you okay, sir?" Simmons asked. He was only a few feet away.

Shane nodded. "Yes." His pulse was nearly back to normal and he took a deep breath of the cool air. Then he pushed the gate open, let Andrew go through first, and followed his son. Andrew waited so they could walk side-by-side toward the stable. Once they were together, Shane said, "I know you want to defend me, Sport, but you can't just go around slugging people because you don't like what they say."

Andrew looked away again. "Are you mad at me?"

"I should be. . . ." Shane tried to sound stern, but he kept picturing his small son defending his family honor on the playground. "I know this has all been hard for you."

"I thought you were just going to go away for a little while," Andrew said. "Then we'd go to England, but Jimmy said you'll never come back."

Shane wondered what Louis Pasqua had said that his son had overheard. Probably something about Shane not taking the plea offer and how it could mean he would get a life sentence. Andrew had raised his head and was waiting expectantly for an answer.

"Jimmy's wrong," Shane said. "Nothing's certain right now. Things have changed a little. Right now, I'm trying to find a way so I don't go away at all. If I can't manage to do that . . . then we'll see what happens. It may be that if I do go away, it won't be for that long."

They fell silent for a moment. Shane thought more about the future. Right now, his focus was on catching Lawrence and forcing the ISA to withdraw the charges.. If that did not work, Shane was out of ideas. Then he would have to decide once more about pleading guilty. If that happened, Shane realized, Andrew would be subject to a lot more comments about his father.

Andrew broke the silence. "Do we have to tell Mommy?"

For a moment, Andrew sounded exactly like Shane's brother, Drew. How many times had he tried to convince Shane to stay silent about his latest transgression? Shane gave Andrew a sypathetic look, but he kept a stern tone.

"It would be wrong to lie to your mother, wouldn't it?"

"But we wouldn't be lying if we just didn't tell her," Andrew said.

Shane had to stifle a laugh. That sounded like the type of logic Shane used on his parents. It didn't work for him either. "And when she asks how you got that black eye? What am I supposed to say then?"

"Maybe she won't ask," Andrew said, sounding almost hopeful.

"I don't think you should count on that." Shane could not stop himself from chuckling. "That's a pretty spectacular shiner."

"I guess so," Andrew said slowly.

There were now nearly half-way to the stable and Shane felt his breath coming a bit faster and his pulse speeding up. He stopped for a moment to steady himself.

Andrew sounded worried when he said, "Maybe we should go back."

"Nonsense," Shane replied. Once his breathing returned to normal, he smiled. "See? Your old man's just fine."

Fine might have been an overstatement, but Shane certainly was stronger than he had been. A week earlier, he would never have made it this far. And he could push himself to go farther. Shane glanced toward the stable and the lake, and an idea popped into his head.

"Why don't we go to the stables and you can show me how good a rider you're getting to be?"

Andrew seemed to get excited, but then his grin turned into a frown. "But you can't ride with me, Daddy."

"No," Shane admitted. "But I'll watch you. Simmons can hold the lead."

Andrew seemed to mull it over for a moment, but then grinned again. "Okay. Let me get my boots." He took off like a jackrabbit and raced toward the house.

While Shane waited for his son to return, Simmons walked over to him. "Are you sure you're okay, sir?"

"I've made it this far, haven't I?" Shane asked. "I'm just going to watch him ride." He looked toward the house, waiting for the garden gate to reopen. "So how much bigger is this Jimmy kid?"

Simmons pursed his lips and then said, "Quite a lot. If I had to hazard a guess, he's a good half-foot taller and 20 to 30 lbs heavier. The playground attendant said that Andrew threw the first punch."

Shane had to shake his head at the picture of Andrew standing up to and punching a much bigger boy, but also felt a touch of admiration at his son's fearlessness. Recklessness, Kim would call it.

_But she wouldn't really understand, a boy standing up when someone insults his parents, would she?_

Up at the house, Andrew reappeared through the gate and sprinted across the grass toward the stables.

_He was trying to defend me_, Shane thought. _Can I really punish him for that_? Shane suspected that, if he had been in Andrew's shoes, he would have probably done the same.

_Maybe Kim doesn't need to know. _Shane thought for a moment. Maybe they could tell Kim that Andrew fell off his pony or had a small accident in the stable.

Shane glanced at Simmons, whose expression revealed that he knew exactly what Shane was thinking. From the slightly raised eyebrow on the butler's face, it was obvious that he disagreed.

"Okay," Shane said ruefully. "I'll tell her. Maybe I can convince her to go easy on him."

Simmons rolled his eyes. "You're incorrigible, sir."

Laughing, Shane did not get a chance to respond, because, at that moment, an out-of-breath Andrew reached them. He was holding his boots in his arms and excitedly gasped, "Ready, Daddy?"

Shane exchanged one more look with Simmons and then grinned. He put a hand on Andrew's shoulder and they started for the stable. "Come on, Sport. Why don't you show me what you've got?"


	451. Chapter 451

Steve slowly hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. After his talk with Abe at the police station, Steve had realized that, if he was going to get information about Lawrence Alamain, it was not going to come through conventional channels. So he had put some calls out to his Merchant Marine sources.

Alamain was well-known and Steve had figured that he could at least get confirmation that Lawrence was still in Alamania. After hearing about the videotape in Carly's possession and the testing being performed, Steve's had become even more desperate to find Alamain.

Today, Steve had finally got his break. One of Tony's old shipmates was serving on a ship that ran the North Africa route. The guy had been in a bar in Alamainia and had overheard a pilot talking about having just returned from another trip to "paradise." The pilot had been identified as one of Lawrence Alamain's personal pilots and, after a few drinks, he'd revealed that he had been making frequent trips to Mauritius, a small island off the African coast.

According to the pilot, the place was wonderful. He did not know why his boss was making frequent trips to the island, but the pilot was enjoying the beach life and the availability of "female companions" at a reasonable rate.

Steve knew exactly why Lawrence was making those trips. There was no question in Steve's mind that Lawrence had set up his new testing facility in Mauritius. Now, the only question was what to do with that information.

The sound of a key in the door interrupted Steve's thoughts. He glanced at the clock as he headed for the living room and wondered why Kayla was home earlier than expected.

"Hey, Sweetness," he said as he walked into the living room. His eye narrowed as he realized Kayla was carrying a large box and he moved quickly to help her.

"What's this?" he asked, taking the box from her arms.

Kayla looked around the room and apparently ignored his question. "Where's Stephanie?"

"She's baking cookies with your mama," Steve said with a smile. "I stopped by earlier and they were having so much fun, I figured she could stay for a few hours and we'd pick her up later."

Kayla nodded, but said nothing as she hung up her coat.

Still wondering what was going on, Steve asked his question again. "What's with the box, baby?"

Kayla took a deep breath, but Steve did not miss the glint of anger in her eye. Finally, she answered. "It's my personal things from work."

Steve felt the dread spread through his body at her answer. Hoping that somehow he was wrong, he tentatively asked, "Why are you bringing your things home from the office?"

Any hope Steve had was dashed by the withering glance Kayla shot at him. "Because once you've been fired, they like you to clean your things out of your former office space." Kayla's voice was soft, but the anger was unmistakable.

Steve put the box on the floor and faced his wife. "What happened?" he asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"It seems the ISA suddenly decided that I was a 'security risk.'" Kayla stared intently at Steve. "They wouldn't tell Neil why, but we both know the answer to that question, don't we?"

Steve looked down, unable to hold Kayla's angry gaze. He mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. He should have known the ISA would have some kind of security at the lab that was unknown to the hospital. But he had been so desperate to get more information, he had convinced himself that nobody would find out.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. Steve cringed at the inadequacy of his words.

Kayla chuckled humorlessly. "I know you're sorry. Neil's sorry. Julie's sorry. Jordan Bishop is sorry. But none of that changes the fact that I'm no longer allowed anywhere near the lab that I helped build." Kayla ran her hand down her face and took another deep breath. "Poor Neil. He was so outraged at the ISA, I thought he might explode."

"He knows how good you are at your job," Steve said, finally looking up.

"Yeah, he knows. And he thinks the ISA is just being arbitrary and ridiculous." Kayla shook her head. "The funny thing is he was so upset that I wanted to tell him the truth, just so he wouldn't feel so bad. But, of course, I couldn't do that without getting my husband arrested."

Steve flinched at both the anger and truth in Kayla's words. He searched his mind for something he could say or do to fix this, but he knew there was nothing. He had screwed up and Kayla was paying the price.

"I never meant for any of this to happen," he said quietly. "I just thought-"

"I know what you thought, Steve," Kayla interrupted. "You thought you could get information and protect me." She sighed in frustration. "I know you had good intentions, but I'm still out at the lab."

Steve stepped over to the couch, sat down, and lowered his head into his hands. When he finally looked up, he said, "I know how much that job meant to you, Kayla. . . . If I could make it all better, I would. But I know I can't fix this."

Sighing, Kayla sat down at the other end of the couch. "No, you can't fix it. It's just something we'll have to deal with." She shrugged. "Besides, it's not all your fault. I knew I was taking a risk when I told you about Carly's project. It was top-secret and I promised not to say anything to anybody. I broke that promise and now I have to face the consequences."

"This isn't your fault, Kayla," Steve insisted. "I'm the one that screwed up and got caught."

"And you'd have never been in that lab if I'd kept my promise to Carly, so I guess we both made mistakes." Still, the anger crept back into her voice.

Steve felt a sharp pain at Kayla's words. "So you're saying it was a mistake to tell me the truth about what was going on? A mistake to trust me?"

Kayla stared at Steve for a moment. "You're my husband. I trust you with my heart, with my soul, and with my life. This is not about me not trusting you."

Steve felt the guilt replace the hurt he had felt moments earlier. He knew she was right. She had trusted him and he had blown it. She had a right to regret her decision.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Kayla said, "I guess I should consider myself lucky. At least I still have a job."

Steve looked at Kayla curiously. "What do you mean? I thought you got fired."

"Oh, I got fired from the lab," Kayla said. "But Neil felt so bad that he offered me a full-time position at the Trauma Center. I guess that's another good reason not to tell him the whole story."

Steve felt a small measure of relief that his actions had not cost Kayla her entire career at University Hospital. "I know you've enjoyed working there on a part-time basis," he said, looking for some silver lining.

Kayla nodded. "Yeah, I have. I went to nursing school to treat patients and I missed that while I was with the lab." She gave Steve a pointed look, clearly signaling she was not in a mood to forgive just yet. "But I always thought I'd make the decision about when it was time to go back to full-time nursing."

Steve remained silent, knowing nothing he said would help matters. After a few moments, Kayla stood up and gathered her coat and purse.

"Where are you going, Sweetness?" Steve asked, feeling concerned.

"I'm going to go pick up Stephanie," Kayla replied. "I haven't seen my folks for a few days, so this will be a chance to have a short visit."

Steve nodded and stood. "I'll come with you."

Kayla shook her head. "That's not necessary. I won't be that long. Stephanie's going to be ready for her dinner soon anyway."

Steve nodded, covering his hurt at Kayla's rejection of his offer to go with her. "I'll get dinner started so it's ready when you get home."

"Sounds good." Kayla turned toward the door.

As she reached it, Steve could not stop himself from calling out. "I love you, Sweetness."

Kayla paused and looked back. "I know you do. And I love you, too. See you in a little while."

Steve stared at the door for a few moments after Kayla left. He kicked himself for his stupidity, but then stopped. It was too late to go back and fix things. He had broken into the lab - for good reasons - without thinking through the consequences and, now, Kayla was paying for his stupidity. With a sigh, he shook his head and headed for the kitchen to start dinner. At least that seemed to be one thing he could do without screwing up.


	452. Chapter 452

"Mmmmmhhhhmmmm."

Behind Shane, Kim laughed at his contented murmur, but she did not lessen the pressure she was putting on his shoulders. "Your muscles are complete knots," Kim said. She pushed particularly hard on a large knot just above his scapula and felt Shane flinch.

"Too hard?" she asked. "Tell me if it hurts."

Under her hands, Shane tensed. "It doesn't hurt."

"Uh huh," she whispered in Shane's ear. "Don't you go playing nothing-hurts Mr. Macho." She pressed against the knot and felt it release simultaneous with another soft murmur from Shane. "You shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard."

"It was just a walk to the lake and back," he said.

Kim shook her head and slid around him on the rug so she could look into his face. "A walk to the lake and back, plus I bet you hardly stood still while Andrew rode his pony. That's pushing things."

He shrugged. "It's no big deal. Besides. . . ." He gave her a sly grin. "I knew you would gladly massage away all of my aches and pains in front of the fire."

Kim narrowed her eyes. "You're just terrible," she said. "As if it's not bad enough that I agreed with you not to punish Andrew-"

"I told you. . . . He was just defending me."

"It was still fighting." Kim's voice was even, but stern. "How will he learn that problem can't be solved with fists if you reward him for fighting?"

Shane scowled slightly. "I didn't reward him."

"Daddy walking all the way down to the stable to watch him ride isn't a reward?" Kim made it sound like that question was not subject to debate. A guilty look flashed across Shane's face and Kim wanted to roll her eyes. Sometimes he was just as much a little boy as Andrew. "It's okay - this once. We just need to emphasize that hitting other kids is not the way to resolve conflicts. Now . . . let me see those legs."

"The what?"

"Your legs," Kim said. She put a hand on his thigh. "If they're anything like your shoulders, they need a little massage. Well, more than a little."

Shane grimaced as he extended his right leg, confirming Kim's suspicions that he was sore. She was facing him, but slid back so that she was positioned by his foot. The she carefully slipped off his shoe and sock, pushed up the leg of his pants, and began massaging his right calf. He closed his eyes and took a sharp breath, which he held until he could exhale it slowly.

"Is that feeling better?" Kim asked. She kneaded the calf-muscles a little harder.

Shane nodded his answer, adding a soft moan as the muscle relaxed. So did the rest of him, Kim saw the way his head lolled to the side and he seemed to slide even lower along the end of the sofa that he had been leaning against. The waving light from the fireplace caused Shane's face to glow.

_You're just putty in my hands_, Kim thought as she switched her attention to his left leg. She helped him extend it so that she was settled in a spot between his legs and repeated what she had done to his right leg. Shane repeated his response - a slight hiss and his muscles tensed - but he soon relaxed again and let out another low moan.

The sound made Kim's heart beat a little faster and the heat she felt was not coming from the fireplace. Her hands slid a little higher over his knee and began working his lower thigh.

"Kim. . . ." Shane groaned as he sunk even lower.

"Like that?" she said in a teasing whisper. She did not need him to answer. The sounds he was making, the breaths which came faster and faster, and the way his head had fallen back against the sofa told her. From years of loving him, she knew exactly what he liked.

Kim had never intended to get him so aroused, but now that he was, why stop? Her own desire was growing. She could feel the heat spreading through her.

She continued the massage for a few more minutes, then pulled her hands away and slid forward on her knees until she loomed directly over him. His eyes were closed, but he opened them and gave her a soft smile.

"I think you're trying to seduce me?" he said.

"I think you're right," she said in a low voice as she leaned close. "How am I doing?"

His kiss told her she was doing just fine, and Kim responded in kind. She wanted him so much, she did not care if she seemed desperate. She pulled his shirt free of his pants and deftly flicked open the buttons. Her hands danced over his chest, but she had to look away from the scar running down it. Instead, she closed her eyes and kissed him again, a forceful, hungry kiss fueled by her desire.

Whatever was driving her had control of Shane. He unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders, exposing her overheated skin. Their bodies pressed close even as the kiss continued.

As they broke apart, Kim heard Shane's breath catch and dissolve into a choking gasp. Kim jerked back.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry." Guilt flooded her. "I wasn't thinking."

"No. . . ." Shane gasped. "It's . . . It's okay."

It was not okay. Kim could see in his face that he was struggling to breathe. She pulled away, shifting back onto her heels. "I shouldn't have provoked you."

Shane reached a hand out. "You didn't hurt me. I'm okay."

"But you're not supposed to be pushing yourself," Kim reminded him.

"I'm getting stronger," Shane said sharply. "I'm not some invalid."

She could hear the frustration and embarrassment in his voice. If she were to admit it, she was feeling rather frustrated herself. But she shunted that thought aside. Taking his hand, Kim rubbed the back of Shane's it and gave him a sympathetic look. "There's no need to rush anything. We have a lifetime together. We can wait until the doctors say its okay."

"We don't need a doctor's bloody approval," Shane insisted.

She had to laugh at his impatience and pulled her blouse back over her shoulders. Shane scowled, then sighed, apparently because he knew she would not relent.

"I will get better," he said in a determined voice.

"I know," Kim said. She turned and leaned against him, the back of her head resting against his bare chest. Shane took a deep breath and then wrapped an arm around her. She sighed and snuggled closer to him. Sex could wait. They could just hold each other and, for now, that was more than enough for her.


	453. Chapter 453

Lawrence adjusted his gas mask and studied the Indian woman lying on the floor. The ISA agent lay slack-jawed. Her eyes were half-closed, the lids having drooped from the effect of the toxin. But what was more important to Lawrence was the complete absence of movement in her chest.

He stared at the white-coated technician, who was checking the woman's pulse. Lawrence waited until he could no longer contain his impatience. "Well?"

"She's dead."

_Success! _Lawrence felt his chest swell and almost let loose a triumphant shout. _It's lethal. The toxin is lethal._

Smiling behind the mask, he turned to the door and waited for the technicians to do their security checks before opening the door. There was little chance that the toxin was still present in the room when Lawrence entered, but they still took precautions to ensure nobody was accidentally poisoned.

Dr. Schreiner was standing immediately on the other side of the door. Lawrence removed the mask and smiled. "You have succeeded."

"Of course," the doctor replied. "It was merely a matter of time."

Lawrence barely heard the response. "How long will it take to produce the trial batch?"

"Herr Alamain, we must complete our testing here, before we can move into production."

Feeling his frustration mount, Lawrence asked, "So how long will that take."

Schreiner thought for a moment, but seemed to clearly understand Lawrence's impatience. "If we work around the clock, we could complete the tests in three days. Then another two to three days while we prepare the larger batch and ensure its stability." He paused. "To be blunt, Herr Alamain, we should wait for some longer-term testing before we ship the toxin anywhere."

"You have one week. At that time, I am leaving this country for America." He studied the doctor carefully. "Make sure the toxin is suitable for transfer and, of course, for our demonstration."

"But-"

"No buts, Doctor. One week. That is all the time you have."

Turning on his heels, Lawrence glanced at Ivan. "Come, Ivan. We have some planning to do."

His manservant followed him out of the research area of the compound to Lawrence's villa. As they walked, Lawrence looked up at the sun shining above.

"This is a great day, Ivan," he said. "Today, we have taken the first step to changing the world."

Ivan reached the villa door first, and held it open for Lawrence. Once inside, Lawrence walked toward the great room, which overlooked the ocean below. In many ways, the villa reminded him of his estate in Alamainia.

"Champagne, Ivan," Lawrence ordered. "We must toast this grand occasion."

As Ivan disappeared from the room, Lawrence stared out at the ocean and smiled. He would soon be back in Alamainina where he could look out at the ocean from his true home. They would spend another week here and then move their operation to the facility in Salem, which was already being readied for his arrival.

"Won't our dear friends in Salem be surprised," he said, his voice ripe with amusement. "I'll be right under their noses and they won't even know it."

It would only take a few weeks at most before he could deploy the toxin. There would only be one demonstration, but it would be enough. Salem would mourn and the world leaders would be exposed as the impotent fools they were. Meanwhile, every despot and terrorist in the world would line up to bid on Lawrence's toxin.

"The world will fear me," Lawerence declared.

"Yes, sir," Ivan said, as he reappeared with a bottle of Krug and two champagne flutes. He quickly released the cork, filled the two glasses, and handed one to Lawrence.

Lawrence held his glass up, but faced the window and the ocean, not Ivan. "This is a great day, Ivan, because today we have taken a great step to restoring the name of Alamain to its proper place in this world. Those fools in America and the ISA think me incapable of taking on my father's mantle, but they are wrong. I will prove to them that the name Alamain is one to be feared in the West, and now I have the means to make them tremble before me."

"Your father would be proud," Ivan said.

"Yes, he would. . . ." Lawrence turned from the window and crossed over to a bookshelf that held a framed photograph. He lifted it, seeing the picture of himself as a teenager, standing next to his father. Back in those days, Leopold Alamain was a strong, powerful man - a strong leader and a shrewd businessman. In his dotage, Leopold had grown softer, but, in Lawrence's eyes, he remained the man he had been.

_And they killed him. Donovan, Devereaux and Brady. Those hated names. _

"They took you from me, Father," Lawrence said to the photograph. "They took you."

Lawrence held the glass up once more. "To the future where the Alamain name is feared as it should be."

"Here, here," Ivan added.

"Yes, Ivan." Lawrence took a sip of the expensive champagne, looked once more at his father's image in the picture, and then set it down on the shelf. He took another sip as he turned back to Ivan and raised his glass once more. "Another toast. To our friends in Salem. . . ." He waited for Ivan to raise his glass. "Yes, to our friends in Salem . . . and to seeing justice served."

Lawrence chuckled as he finished and Ivan said, "To justice." Then he lifted the glass to his lips, drank deeply, and repeated, "To justice."


	454. Chapter 454

Kim felt like she was sleepwalking through her day at the clinic. Thankfully, there was little to do except paperwork, but she could not keep her mind from running through the events of their night in front of the fire. It had been four days earlier, but it felt like it had just happened.

She had pushed too hard and had hurt him, she thought, the guilt returning. Shane had held her in front of the fire, but she could sense his frustration at his physical limitations. And then there had been the mornings since. Each had been virtual torture, being so close to him, yet being unable to make love to him.

Just that morning, when she had woken, Shane had been spooned behind her, one arm wrapped around her side. He had whispered just want he wanted to do to her in her ear and she had nearly melted, but then she had remembered his condition and had pulled away with an excuse about having to get to work.

Now at work, Kim wished for all the word that she was back in that bed.

"Stop it," she chided herself. "It's just a matter of time."

_Time we may not really have,_ she added silently. Shane's trial was scheduled to begin in just three weeks. Each day that passed was one less that they had together.

She knew Shane had some kind of plan up his sleeve, but it scared her that he had not told her what he intended to do. She was sure it had something to do with John, who often seemed to be at he house. Kim had asked him to tell her, but he had said it was something she needed to discuss with Shane. That had only confirmed in her mind that Shane was up to something.

"You have to trust him," she told herself. They had spent so much time apart because they would not trust one another. Kim had to stifle her fears. If Shane had a plan, she had to trust in him, and in their love, that it would bring them through whatever might happen.

"Kimmie," came a voice from behind her.

Kim turned around and spotted her mother in the doorway of the clinic. "Mama . . . Hi. What brings you by?"

"Oh, I was just visiting Mrs. Steinway," Caroline said. "They had to do some more surgery on her hip. And I thought I'd come by and see how my daughter was doing."

Kim smiled. "I'm fine."

"How's Shane?" Caroline asked. "Everything still going okay, isn't it?"

Kim frowned slightly at the tone of her mother's question. "You sound like you think it isn't."

"No, that's not it at all," Caroline said quickly. "I'm just happy that you and Shane are back together."

Seeing that her mother seemed sincere, Kim nodded. "Everything's just fine." _Except for the fact that we can't make love yet._

"Speaking of Shane. . . ." Caroline paused momentarily. "I was thinking about Thanksgiving. It's only a few days away and, well, should we move it to Shane's house? We did that for Christmas that one time."

_That one time before I lost the baby_, Kim thought, then forced the memory aside. "No, Mama. That's not necessary. Shane's getting stronger. Do you know he walked almost all the way to the lake yesterday with Andrew?"

"That's good to hear," Caroline said, with a slightly sad expression.

"What's wrong?" Kim asked.

Caroline shook her head. "It's nothing really. It's just hard to think of Shane being able to walk to the lake as some kind of accomplishment. He's always been so strong."

"He's recovering." Kim smiled. "I know he's looking forward to Thanksgiving and seeing everybody. He's been pretty isolated at the house."

"He's not angry at us?" Caroline asked. "I mean for not visiting. You know we would have come, but, well, we know how proud he is."

Self-conscious would have been the word Kim would have chosen, but she understood her mother's point. Shane probably would have felt awkward and embarrassed if her parents had visited, but only for a moment.

"And with things awkward between you until the last few days. . . ." Caroline added.

"It's okay, Mama," Kim said. "I don't think Shane's upset. And he'll be fine with the party being at your house. In fact, it's probably better."

Caroline narrowed her eyes. "Better?"

"I'm just thinking with John and Roman both being there," Kim explained. Caroline had mentioned her plans to invite John and Isabella so that he knew he was still considered a part of the Brady family. "Your house is more like neutral territory right now. Roman hasn't been very forgiving toward Shane."

"About that article?" Caroline asked.

Kim nodded. Not very forgiving was a bit of an understatement. Shane had repeated for Kim what he had told Roman. It had been the first time that he had explained and it had surprised her that Shane had never told the story after they escaped from Stefano's island. What Shane had told her only added to her anger with the ISA. Once again, they had played with Shane's loyalties, even going so far as to use his brother as leverage.

The thought sickened her.

"I'm sure things will blow over." Caroline shrugged. "It's hard for Roman right now."

"But it's hard for John, too," Kim said, her voice rising. "And Shane's been through hell. He nearly died, and he still has those damn charges hanging over his head. Roman needs to understand that it's not all about him."

Caroline turned away and walked toward a bookshelf. "I know he does, but you can't blame him for being angry. And he doesn't know John, Shane, and Steve like we do, and he didn't see what the family went through, so how can we expect him to really understand?"

"I know," Kim said. What Caroline was saying made sense. Roman was still trying to reconnect with a world that was completely different from the one he had left behind seven years earlier. But that did not excuse his behavior entirely. She looked back at Caroline. "Did you talk to Roman about Thanksgiving?"

"I did, and he promised he would be on his best behavior."

_I just hope he keeps his promise_, Kim thought. Roman was notorious for being unable to control his temper. He was very much like Shawn in that respect.

"Everything will be fine," Caroline assured. "It's been so long since the whole family was together. Not since before you left for Europe." She smiled wistfully. "Just think of it, Kimmie. All of our children and grandchildren under one roof and, even more, you'll all be there with people you truly love."

Kim had to smile in response. It sounded idyllic. "That does sound wonderful. And you're right, this family does have a lot to be thankful for."


	455. Chapter 455

Kayla looked down at her sleeping daughter and softly stroked her head. It never ceased to amaze her that this tiny, wonderful, sweet little girl was hers. Her daughter was a living, breathing symbol of the love she and Steve shared.

Moving from the crib, Kayla sat down in the rocking chair. Since her firing from the lab a week ago, things had been a little tense in the Johnson household. Steve had been extra attentive and Kayla knew he was trying to make up for what had happened.

The problem was that it could not be changed. Kayla knew that. In truth, she had accepted it and was enjoying working full-time at the Trauma Center.

Starting up the lab had been a welcome and needed distraction in the aftermath of losing Steve. It had given her a project to focus and had challenged her professionally. But the reality was that, once the lab was up and running, it had hardly been exciting work. She was not a researcher by training and, while she enjoyed participating in the lab when she could, the administrative work that took up most of her time had soon become routine.

So, if she were honest with herself, she did not really miss working at the lab. Her continued anger and frustration came not from losing her job, but from the way it had been lost.

She shook her head slightly as she thought of Steve breaking into the lab. It had been a risky and illegal and 100% Steve. She had fallen in love with the man knowing exactly who he was and had never wanted to change him. But his actions sometimes still left her frustrated beyond measure.

Kayla understood why Steve had broken into the lab. It was the same reason she had told Steve about Carly's project. Lawrence Alamain was a very dangerous man, and there was little question that the toxin he was working on was destined for Salem. When your family was a likely target, it was hard to sit back and wait for the attack to come.

No, it was not Steve's motivations she questioned, just his methods. Quietly, she got up from the rocking chair. She hated the tension between them, and it was time to put it behind them. Thanksgiving was just two days away, and she wanted the holiday to be a time of love and family.

Leaving Stephanie's room, she started for the living room then stopped when she heard the sound of Steve's voice coming from their bedroom. Turning back in that direction, she idly wondered who he was talking to on the phone. As she drew closer, Steve's words became clear.

"So you're sure we don't know anybody working in that port?" Steve asked. There was a pause and then he said, "No, it's not essential, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if had somebody who knew their way around the place."

_What place_? Kayla wondered silently. _What is he talking about_?"

"I know you did your best, Tony. I'd still be running blind if you hadn't found out about those trips to Maur . . . Mauritius or whatever it's called."

Kayla's blood ran cold at Steve's words. She still did not know exactly what he was talking about, but she was sure it had something to do with Alamain.

"I appreciate all your help, dude. I'll just have to figure that one out when I get there." Steve's words confirmed Kayla's suspicions. He was planning to go after Lawrence.

"Thanks, man. I'll need it."

With those final words, Steve hung up the phone. Kayla took two steps forward and entered the room, her anger boiling over.

"Planning a trip somewhere, Steve?"

Steve's head whipped around in response to Kayla's voice. His face registered his surprise - and his guilt. He stared at her for a moment, then finally spoke. "What makes you say that, Sweetness?"

Kayla just shook her head. "Don't even try to lie to me, Steve Johnson." Before he could react, she walked quickly to the bed and pulled the map he was holding from his hand. Glancing at it, she could see the island of Mauritius circled.

"I guess this is where you are going, huh?" she asked angrily, throwing the map back on the bed. "When were you planning on telling me? Or were you just going to disappear one of these days?"

"I wouldn't do that, Kayla," Steve said calmly.

"Really?" Kayla scoffed. "It seems like you prefer keeping me in the dark these days." She stared intently at him. "When were you going to tell me you decided to go after Lawrence?"

"I was going to tell you when I had my plans figured out," Steve finally said, shifting his gaze to the floor.

"So you didn't think that taking off halfway around the world and walking into a psychopath's nest was worth discussing with your wife before you made the decision." Kayla's anger was pouring out of her. "Are you that unhappy with me? Are you that desperate to leave me and Stephanie again?"

Steve looked up quickly, his eye widened in shock. "What are you talking about? I don't want to leave you and Stephanie at all?"

"You could have fooled me." Kayla's anger was replaced by hurt. "You've only been back a few months, and the first chance you get, you want to put yourself right back in the clutches of that madman. What am I supposed to believe?"

"Baby," Steve began, a pleading note in his voice. "That's not it at all." He ran his hand over his face and adjusted his patch. "This guy is torturing people in order to perfect some kind of poison that he's then going to unleash on this town. We both know that. How can I sit back and just wait for that to happen?"

Kayla turned away, trying to gain control over her churning emotions. She understood his need to protect his family, but she would never understand his willingness to engage in a suicide mission. She just did not know how to make him understand that was what going after Lawrence would be.

"Sweetness," Steve spoke softly. "Please believe me. I wouldn't be doing it this way if I had any other choice."

Kayla spun back around at Steve's words. "You do have a choice, Steve. You can stay here with Stephanie and me. We need you. Don't you understand that?"

"I won't be gone that long, baby." Steve offered her a small smile. "I'm just going to go down there and-"

"And what?" Kayla interrupted. "Invade Lawrence's new facility on your own?" She stared at him. "It took a Special Forces unit to rescue you from that compound in Egypt. But you're just going to waltz in and do the same thing on your own?"

Steve turned away. "I can't sit here and do nothing." His voice was quiet, but serious. "I know what those people are going through and they don't have the cavalry coming to rescue them."

Kayla reached for Steve's arm and turned him back to look at her. "I know what is happening to the people in that compound and it's horrible. And I know you want to help them." She sighed. "But you going off on your own and getting killed or captured is not going to help them. Can't you see that?"

"I'm not going to get caught," Steve insisted. "I can take care of myself."

Kayla's frustration boiled over again. "Like you did when that bomb went off on that boat? Or when the doctor poisoned your IV? Or when you were Lawrence's prisoner the first time?" Her voice grew harsh. "It's a suicide mission and you know it."

Steve stared at her for a moment. "I thought you had a little more faith in me than that, baby."

"Don't," Kayla said angrily, shaking her head. "Don't turn this back on me. I've always supported you and you know it. I supported your decision to go undercover to help Marcus. I supported your decision to join the Salem PD. When everything in me told me that the Riverfront Raider case was dangerous, I put aside my fears for you." Kayla could feel the tears beginning to roll down her face. "And you know what that got me? I got to watch you die in that hospital room. I got to plan your funeral. And I got to try to explain to your daughter why her daddy wasn't coming home again."

Steve did not respond, so Kayla continued. "Maybe this makes me selfish. Maybe if I were a better person I would understand why you want to sacrifice yourself for people you don't even know. All I know is that I don't think I could survive losing you again and I don't know what to do or say to make you understand that."

"You're not selfish, Kayla," Steve finally said. "You're the most unselfish person I've ever known. The last thing I want to do is hurt you again."

"Then don't go after Lawrence like this, Steve," Kayla pleaded. "Tell me you'll stay here with me and Stephanie."

Before Steve could respond, a cry came from down the hall. They stared at each other for a moment, knowing that nothing had been fully resolved. Finally, Kayla nodded at Steve. "Go. Go get your daughter. If I can't convince you to stay, maybe she can."

Steve dropped his gaze to the floor and walked out of their bedroom. A few seconds later, Kayla heard the soft murmurs as he comforted a crying Stephanie. Sinking to the bed, Kayla offered a silent prayer that something she had said had gotten through to Steve. She sighed heavily. _So much for a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving._


	456. Chapter 456

"Come on, Daddy," Andrew said. He had raced from the car at his typical breakneck pace, leaving the rest of the family behind. Kim had made Andrew wait at the foot of the stairs to the Brady house while she carried Jeannie. With Eve hovering over him, Shane had slowly and steadily brought up the rear.

Kim seemed to study Shane. "Are you okay? Do you need to rest for a minute?"

Shane had to shake his head. He was walking slowly, but was not winded. The last few weeks had shown some definite improvement in his condition. Even Marcus had been impressed by the changes since Shane's previous check-up. "I'm fine, Kim," he said, adding slyly to himself, _I'm more than fine._

Once he reached the stairs, Andrew bolted to the front door of the house and rang the bell. Caroline opened the door just as Shane and Kim reached the top of the stairs. She gave the children and Kim big hugs and then, as they went into the living room, Caroline smiled at Shane.

"It's good to see you, Shane," she said.

"Thank you, Caroline." It took a moment for Shane to remember the last time he had seen her and then realized it was the night she had brought Stephanie to the house while Kim and Kayla were missing. Or had she and Shawn come to the hospital after he was shot? He could not really remember a lot of that time. It was a sobering thought. "I'm glad I can be here."

She reached out and pulled him into an embrace. "We never got a chance to thank you, but we owe you so much. We have our daughters here - and it's because of you."

"And Steve," Shane said, feeling a tad embarrassed.

"And Steve." That came from Shawn, who had approached from the kitchen. He held out his hand. "The last time we talked, I was pretty rough on you, lad, but that's all water under the bridge now. You hear me, son. No matter what, you are always part of this family."

Shane took Shawn's hand and shook it. For all of their conflicts over the past year, Shane had always valued the older man's opinion. "You have no idea how much that means to me," Shane said, sincerely.

Shawn nodded. "You mean a lot to us." He looked Shane over. "Looks like you need some of Caroline's good cooking to put some meat back on those bones."

Shane had to concede the point. He had lost weight while in the hospital and, between that and his physical therapy, was a bit leaner than he had been before the shooting. "Well, Simmons tries, but he can't hold a candle to Caroline's cooking." Shane grinned. "Just don't let him know I said that."

"So is this a private party in the doorway?" Kim asked. She had returned from the living room, having gotten the children settled. Shane looked over in their direction to see that Carly was holding Jeannie, while Andrew was teaming up with Max and Shawn Douglas in some kind of wrestling match with Bo.

"Perhaps I should save your brother from the Mongol horde," Shane said to her, but she laughed.

"Oh, I wouldn't bother. Bo's probably the biggest kid here." She pulled Shane toward the living room. "But I'm thinking you probably should sit down."

Shane grimaced. "I'm not an invalid, Kim."

"I know," she said. "I just don't want you pushing yourself too hard."

"Standing and talking to your folks is hardly pushing myself. . . ." At her raised eyebrow, he added, "At least right now it's not."

Seeing he was not going to win the argument, Shane let Kim lead him over to the sofa. He was no sooner seated than Eve appeared with a cup and saucer.

"I thought you'd appreciate some tea, Daddy."

He took the cup, but looked at both Kim and Eve. "I do appreciate it - both of you - but, stop, please. I don't need you hovering over me like two mother hens. Okay?"

Kim and Eve both flushed slightly, but Eve spoke first. "I. . . ." She seemed unsure of what to say to Shane, so she said, "Maybe I'll go see if Mrs. Brady needs any help in the kitchen."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that," Kim replied. Once Eve had disappeared, Kim studied Shane. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes," he said, knowing he sounded exasperated. "I'm just fine - or what passes for fine these days. I'm not going to collapse from exhaustion, I swear." Silently, he added, _Not until much later tonight_.

The doorbell rang again and they both looked up as Shawn opened the door for Eric, Sami, Marlena and Roman. There was another round of hugs at the door as they came in. Eric made a beeline to the boys, while Sami looked around the room, shrugged as if she were a little disappointed, and then headed in the direction of Carly and Jeannie.

"Jeannie's not as easy to order around as Stephanie," Kim whispered. "The 'not talking yet' is a slight obstacle."

"I could see how that would be an obstacle." Shane laughed. Sami did seem to have a way of wanting to be in charge - _much like her father_, he thought.

Before Kim could respond, Roman and Marlena approached them. Roman held out his arms and gave Kim a big hug. Letting her go, he gave Shane a sullen look, followed by a terse, "Donovan."

"Roman," Shane said. "Happy Thanksgiving."

Roman seemed to hesitate. "Uh . . . yeah . . . Happy Thanksgiving." Then he turned and headed toward Bo.

With a sigh, Kim looked at Marlena, who looked equally at a loss.

"It's okay," Shane said. "You can't expect him to forgive and forget so quickly."

"Yes, we can." Marlena shook her head. "It's not fair to the family that he's acting like this. You don't deserve it, and neither do John or Steve." She smiled at Shane. "Roman told me what you said to him-"

Shane spoke up quickly. "Marlena, if I'd known-"

"Stop," she said, cutting him off. "You had a terrible choice and I can't say I wouldn't have done the same if I were in your shoes. I lost my sister and if I ever had a chance to get Samantha back, nothing would have stopped me."

Shane understood. Even after Drew's betrayal, losing him again - not knowing where he was or even if he was still alive - left a void in Shane's life. But he still had regrets. "I still wish I'd seen through Nickerson. If I had, at least, I might have been able to ease your pain. . . . I knew how much pain you were in."

"We all have things we regret," Marlena said. "We make our choices, thinking they're for the best. I know you're an honorable man, and I also know how hard that must have been for you."

Across the room, Roman harrumphed. Although he was supposedly focused on Bo and the boys, he plainly was paying attention to the conversation between Marlena, Shane, and Kim. The sound caused Kim to scowl.

"I think it's time I gave my brother a little talking to," she said in a low voice.

Shane grabbed her hand. "No. . . . It's the holiday. This isn't the time or place for an argument."

"Okay," Kim said, though her scowl remained.

"Just give him some time," Shane said. "Once he gets to know us and gets more comfortable with being back, I'm sure things will smooth over."

Marlena sighed. "I wish, but the ISA's in his ear. Chief Tarrington was at the house the other day. I only heard a little, but I guess John's been helping you with something."

That hardly surprised Shane. Tarrington would continue to try to poison the well and cause trouble for Shane, but there was little anyone could do about it now. "Sooner or later, Tarrington will overplay his hand and Roman will see the truth, Marlena."

"I just hope it's sooner," Kim added just as Eve came over from the kitchen carrying a small platter.

"Mrs. Brady told me to bring these deviled eggs over here," Eve said to Shane. "She said we need to fatten you up a bit."

Shane rolled his eyes. "Three mother hens," he joked, but he took one of the eggs. Then something dawned on him. "Marlena . . . I'm not sure if you've met my daughter, Eve."

"We have met," Marlena said. "More in passing though - like on Halloween. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, Eve."

Eve smiled. "Me too. I've heard so much about you over the years. Carrie and Frankie always spoke so highly about you."

Shawn walked up. "Speaking of Frankie, we just got a letter from him. Sounds like he's really making a difference in those villages in Africa." Shawn looked at Eve. "He asked about you. Said he was beginning to worry 'cause he hadn't heard from you."

Eve flushed and appeared rather uncomfortable. "I . . . I guess I do owe him a letter. Things have been so crazy since I got back." She looked quickly toward the kitchen, set the platter of eggs down on the coffee table, and said, "I'd better get back to helping Mrs. Brady."

As she raced off, Shawn turned to Shane. "I suspect Frankie isn't going to like the letter he gets."

"No," Shane said. "I suspect you're right."

Kim took Shawn's arm. "Don't be upset, Papa. They're both very young. Just kids, really."

"I suppose," Shawn said. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. They did seem to rush into things and Frankie was pretty broken up over Jennifer Horton at the time."

"As the good Bard said, 'The course of true love never did run smooth.'" Shane gave Kim a rueful grin. "But then I think all of us can attest to that."

Everyone chuckled and Marlena and Shawn headed off - Marlena to talk to Roman, Shawn to the kitchen. Kim took the moment to take a seat next to Shane on the couch. "Perhaps we all can attest to that, but remember that Shakespeare also said, 'All's well that ends well.'"

The full quote came unbidden to Shane's mind and he took Kim's hand in his. "'All's well that ends well; still the fine's the crown; Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.' It's true, isn't it? All that matters is that things turn out right in the end."

Kim smiled softly. "I couldn't have put it better myself."


	457. Chapter 457

Steve packed the pumpkin pies Kayla had made into a bag and carried it into the living room. He placed the bag by the door, then sat on the couch to wait for his wife and daughter to finish getting ready for Thanksgiving at the Brady house.

He knew he, more than anyone, had much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. But this was not exactly the happy holiday he had anticipated.

Ever since Kayla had overhead his phone call with Tony and had confronted him about his plan to go after Lawrence Alamain, it had been anything but happy around their apartment. In fact, other than Steve's promise not leave without telling her, they had barely spoken.

He understood why Kayla was upset and he could not blame her. Hell, he couldn't even argue with her about it. It was not much more than a year ago that he had promised to finish up the Riverfront Raider case so they could take their trip around the world. Instead, he had left her. Not by choice, certainly, but it had happened.

So how could he blame her for feeling like he was doing the same thing all over again? Steve knew going after Alamain was dangerous, and probably even foolhardy. But he could not get the images of Alamain's "experiments" out of his mind.

And, worse than that, he kept seeing Kayla and Stephanie writhing in pain, then going deathly still as the toxin took over their bodies. He saw himself kneeling over them, begging them to wake up and knowing they never would.

He knew that any life he had would end if he lost Kayla and Stephanie. So if it meant sacrificing himself to protect them, he would do it with a smile on his face. And as much as Kayla wanted him to, he could not promise to stay as long as Alamain was out there somewhere.

He lowered his face to his hands and wished, not for the first time, that he could go back in time and change things. He would have taken himself off the Riverfront Raider case and left town with Stephanie and Kayla like they planned. Instead of spending most of the last year apart, they would have traveled the world together.

Maybe they would just be coming home from their trip. They would be bringing Stephanie home to see everybody and maybe even to announce that she had a little brother or sister on the way. He would have never suffered at the hands of Alamain, and Kayla would have never spent a night without him.

Steve raised his head and looked at towards the ceiling wondering why things had to be this way. Why couldn't they just live normal, mundane lives?

He turned towards the hallway as he heard Kayla and Stephanie approaching, then smiled as his daughter entered the room a few steps ahead of her mother. Stephanie was wearing a new dress and she took his breath away as she ran towards him.

"Papa!" she called, quickly trying to climb up beside him.

"Hi, baby girl." He picked her up and set her down on his lap. "You look so pretty in that new dress." He glanced at Kayla before turning back to Stephanie. "Almost as pretty as your mama." He looked at Kayla again. "Are you ready to go, Sweetness?"

Kayla nodded, but then sat down beside him on the couch. "Can we talk for a minute before we go?"

"Sure, baby. Is there something wrong?" Steve nearly chuckled at the ridiculousness of his question.

Kayla quirked a brow at him, but then shook her head. "Not really. I . . . I just . . . " she stopped, looking uncertain.

"What is it, Kayla? Just say what you want to say."

Kayla took a deep breath. "When I was getting Stephanie ready, I realized that we've never really had a normal Thanksgiving. The first year that we met, we spent Thanksgiving in Stockholm, trying to rescue Marlena. The next year, I was sick thanks to Harper Deveraux. The year after that we were on Stefano's island. We actually got to have Thanksgiving dinner the next year, but we were separated." She sighed softly. "And last year, you were gone and I was stuck in the tunnels under Lawrence's villa."

Steve nodded at Kayla's words. There was no question that Thanksgiving had been anything but traditional for them.

"This year, we're together, we have Stephanie, and the whole family is with us too," Kayla continued. "I . . . I know things haven't been great with us recently, but I was hoping we could find a way to put that aside for the day. I'd like today to be as normal as possible for my family . . . and for us."

Steve looked down at his daughter. "There's nothing I'd like better, Sweetness." He looked up and into her eyes. "I think we have a lot to be thankful for this year."

Kayla offered a small smile. "We do." She stood and took Stephanie from Steve's lap. "I guess we better get going before we get in trouble for being late."

Steve smiled in return and stood. "You got it, baby. Besides, if we're too late, your brothers will have eaten all those deviled eggs I love so much."

Chuckling, Kayla picked up Stephanie's diaper bag as Steve gathered the pies. "We definitely wouldn't want that to happen. All we need is a battle over deviled eggs."

Opening the door, Steve paused and leaned over and kissed Kayla on the cheek. "Let's go have a happy Thanksgiving, Sweetness."

Kayla smiled and headed out the door. Steve closed the door and trailed closely behind his wife and daughter. Maybe he couldn't make everything perfect in their lives, but he could make sure that today was as perfect as possible. They deserved that . . . and so much more.


	458. Chapter 458

Just a quick note. We would love to hear your thoughts. It was not our intent to dissuade comments. Even when we may disagree, we do appreciate and consider the feedback.

Also, we just want to let you know now that there will be no updates the week of July 1 due to RL commitments. We will return to regular posting around July 7 or 8.

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Kim and Marlena sat together on the couch in the Brady living room. The house was quieter now that the children had retreated to the playroom with Eve volunteering to keep an eye on things. Kim suspected that, as much as she might deny it, Eve enjoyed the opportunity to play big sister and cousin to all of the Brady kids.

Caroline had shooed everyone from the kitchen as she put the final touches on the meal. Shawn, Roman, Bo and Carly sat nearby with their eyes glued to the football game on the television. Shane had joined that group and Kim smiled in appreciation at his attempt to pretend to be a football fan.

"Things seem to be going well between you two," Marlena said quietly, nodding her head in Shane's direction.

Kim smiled broadly. "Things are wonderful. I'm just sorry it took us so long to get here." She looked closely at Marlena. "How are you and Roman doing? Are the kids adjusting better?"

Marlena nodded. "They seem to have accepted Roman as Daddy again." She lowered her voice. "I think that's the only reason Roman didn't fight about having John and Isabella here."

Before Kim could respond, there was a knock on the door followed by the entrance of Steve, Kayla, and Stephanie. Commotion ensued as hugs and greetings were exchanged. After several minutes, the pies were safely in the kitchen, Stephanie was deposited with the other children, Kayla joined Kim and Marlena, and Steve pulled up a chair by the television.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Kayla said with a smile as she sat down.

"You too, sis," Kim replied. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she looked closely at her sister. Something did not seem quite right in Kayla's big blue eyes.

"Everything okay, Kay?" Kim asked.

Kayla smiled again and this time Kim could see that the smile was a bit forced. "Of course, everything's okay. It's Thanksgiving and the whole family is together."

Kim glanced at Marlena and could see that Marlena was thinking the same thing Kim was. Leaning closer, Kim lowered her voice. "You may be able to fool a lot of people, but you can't fool your big sister. What's going on?"

Kayla glanced at Kim and Marlena and then shrugged. "It's really nothing. Steve and I just had a little disagreement. It's nothing to worry about." She looked around. "I guess John and Isabella haven't arrived yet, huh?"

It was obvious that Kayla wanted to change the subject. Kim looked at Marlena who gave a shrug of her own and then answered Kayla's question. "Not yet. I'm hoping they haven't changed their minds about coming. Your mother is really looking forward to everyone being here."

As if on cue, the front door opened after a tentative knock and John and Isabella entered the Brady house. For a moment, everyone just looked at each other and then Caroline rushed from the kitchen and swept John into her embrace.

"I'm so glad you made it," Caroline exclaimed. "I was beginning to worry you had changed your mind."

John smiled. "Well, I did make you a promise, and I'd like to think I'm a man who keeps his promises . . . Even if I don't know anything else about the guy."

Shawn chuckled at John's words. "Well, we know all about him and we're damn proud he's a member of this family."

"Thanks, Po . . . Shawn," John replied with an embarrassed smile.

Before another awkward silence could develop, Kim and Kayla jumped up and welcomed John and Isabella as well. The rest of the family followed behind, except for Roman. He remained where he was and simply offered John a curt nod.

Kim glanced at Kayla who whispered, "At least he didn't jump up and start a fight. Maybe that's progress."

Stifling a giggle, Kim nodded her head in agreement. Once again, the commotion died down as the main group returned to the football game. John joined them, taking a seat between Steve and Shane, while Isabella pulled up a chair beside Kim, Kayla, and Marlena on the couch.

The women exchanged small talk for a few moments, mostly about the funny things their children had done recently. Kim did not miss the slight awkwardness between Isabella and Marlena. As crazy as her own life had been in the last couple of years, Kim still could not quite imagine what it must be like for Marlena and Isabella right now.

Suddenly, Sami came storming from the back room into the living room with Eric, Andrew, and Shawn Douglas trailing behind. Kim stifled a smile as Sami walked straight to Roman, clearly upset about something.

"Daddy," Sami whined when she reached Roman. "The boys won't let me play with them."

"We were playing war, Daddy," Eric said. "She can't play because she's a girl."

Kim exchanged amused glances with the women around her. It was clear they were all on Sami's side on this one.

"It's Thanksgiving," Roman replied, looking at his son. "It's a time for family, so why don't you find something that all of you can play together. How's that sound, Sami?"

But Sami was not looking at Roman anymore. She was staring at John. "Hi, Sami," John said softly. "You sure look pretty in that dress. Is it new?"

Sami nodded. "My daddy got it for me." She looked at John curiously. "How come you're here?"

Kim did not miss the hurt that crossed John's face at Sami's question, but the smile never left as he answered. "Your grandma and grandpa were kind enough to invite me and Isabella over."

Sami turned back to Roman. "But I thought you said John wasn't part of our family anymore? He can't be here for Thanksgiving if he's not part of the family."

Kim's heart clinched at Sami's words. She knew that the young girl had no idea the hurt that her simple words caused. She was just a child caught in a difficult and confusing situation.

Roman smiled at his daughter and pulled his son closer. "You're right. John isn't a member of this family anymore. But your grandparents wanted him here and we need to respect that, okay?"

Kim felt her blood boil at Roman's words. Once again, her older brother had not missed an opportunity to make John feel like an outsider. A quick glance around the room confirmed that her siblings were equally mad.

"But you said Thanksgiving was only for family," Sami insisted.

John stood before Roman could respond. "Actually, Sami," John said, a sad note to his voice. "Your daddy is right. Thanksgiving should be just for family." He turned to Caroline. "I really do appreciate the invitation, but I think it's time for me to go. I hope everybody has a very happy Thanksgiving."

Then, before anybody could stop him, John disappeared through the door.


	459. Chapter 459

As the door closed behind John, a shocked silence overtook the Brady house. After a moment, Marlena quietly told the children to go back to the playroom until dinner was ready. Apparently sensing the tension in the room, the children complied and quickly left.

As soon as they were gone, Bo stepped towards Roman. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" Bo asked angrily. "You just had to ruin things."

"Just hold your horses, Bo," Roman replied. "I was just being honest with my kids. John was the one who decided to leave."

Kayla stepped towards her brothers, wanting to prevent another fight from breaking out.

Out the corner of her eye, she saw Shane and Kim exchange some words. Kayla heard Kim say "don't" but could not make out the rest. Shane smiled, brushed her cheek with his hand, and whispered something that Kayla could not hear. Kim seemed to sigh and then nodded as Shane turned, walked to the door, and put on his coat.

"I'm going to go look for John," Shane announced, opening the door. "He shouldn't be alone right now."

"Please try to get him to come back to the house," Caroline pleaded.

Shane nodded, but before he could leave, Isabella joined him in the doorway. "I'm . . . I'm going to go back to the loft in case he shows up there." Tears glistened in her eyes.

"You don't have to leave," Shawn said. "You should stay and wait for Shane to bring John back."

Isabella shook her head. "I don't think that's such a good idea." She stared pointedly at Roman. "After all, this is a family gathering."

Kayla saw the sadness on her mother's face as Isabella turned and walked out the door with Shane right behind her. She silently cursed her brother for ruining Caroline's dream of a happy family Thanksgiving.

"Great," Bo said, rolling his eyes at Roman. "Now you managed to chase my sister away too. I guess she's not family enough for you either."

Kayla stepped closer as Roman's eyes flashed with anger. "Look, little brother. I'm getting a little tired of being your punching bag every time John gets upset about something. The man took over my life for years. I don't owe him anything."

"Maybe you don't," Steve spoke from behind Kayla. "But the rest of us do."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it, Johnson?"

Kayla reached behind her and took Steve's hand, hoping her touch would keep him from losing his temper. The last thing her parents needed was another war breaking out in their living room.

"It's not just his problem," Kim chimed in. "Like Steve said, we all owe John a lot."

"Seems like the only person here who has a problem - or _is_ the problem - is you," Bo snapped. "Why couldn't you just let things be? Just let John and Isabella and the family enjoy Thanksgiving. Was that too much to ask?"

"Bo. . . ." Kayla spoke softly. "That's enough."

"No, Kay. It's not." Bo turned to Kayla, and she could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. "Roman's not the only one who's had a rough time of it. Hell, last Thanksgiving half of us were trapped in the tunnels under Alamain's villa. A big part of the reason we made it out was because John came looking for us."

"I know." Kayla smiled at her baby brother. "It wasn't much of a happy Thanksgiving for any of us. But we're all here together now, and I'm sure that you and Roman going at each other is not the way Ma and Pop planned on celebrating."

Bo glanced to the kitchen where Shawn stood with his arm around Caroline's shoulder. Kayla saw the chagrined look on Bo's face as he saw his mother's tears. "I'm sorry, Ma," Bo said quietly. "I know you've put a lot of work into this day."

Caroline just nodded, still staring at the door as if hoping that force of will alone would bring John back. Kayla's heart broke a bit for her mother. Maybe it had been unrealistic, but she understood why it had been so important for Caroline to have everybody there. Peace and normalcy had been rare commodities in the lives of the Brady family in the past few years.

With that in mind, Kayla turned back to her older brother. Lowering her voice, she looked him straight in the eye. "Don't misunderstand me, Roman. Bo's right. We wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for John. And not just because of last Thanksgiving. You had no right to treat him that way."

"What do you want me to do, sis? You want me to lie to my kids?" Roman hissed, also keeping his voice low. "They spent the last five years thinking that guy was their father. They need to know that he's nobody to them."

"Nobody?" Steve asked incredulously. Kayla elbowed him in the ribs and his tone softened. "I know how hard it is to accept that somebody else was taking care of your kids," he said with a glance at Kayla. "But isn't the important thing that they were loved and cared for?"

Roman just stared at Steve silently and Steve waved his arm at Roman dismissively. "Whatever, dude. If being bitter and angry makes you happy, more power to you." He leaned down and kissed Kayla on the cheek. "I'm going to go see if I can track down Shane and John." He smiled and winked. "Don't let them carve that turkey without us."

Kayla nodded and watched as Steve headed out the door. Sighing, she returned to the couch and plopped down. A few seconds later, Kim joined her. Kayla put her arm around her sister and they sat there together silently for a few moments. Roman returned to the football game while Carly tried to calm down Bo. Kayla saw Marlena stare at Roman for a few moments, before leaving the room and heading towards the back of the house.

"I don't get the feeling that things are all that great between Roman and Marlena right now," Kayla said quietly to Kim.

Kim nodded. "I know what you mean. I can't imagine how hard it is to put their marriage back together after everything that's happened."

"I know," Kayla agreed. "I'm just afraid that if Roman's not careful he's going to push Marlena away with his anger." She looked at Kim. "I think we both know a little something about how that can work."

"Yeah, we certainly do." Kim looked pensive for a moment then stood. "I tried to stop Shane from going. I don't like him being out in this cold for so long. He's still recovering. I'm going to go look for him."

"Kim," Kayla said, putting a hand on her sister's arm. "Steve went after them. If Shane needs help, Steve will help him."

"I know, but maybe Steve didn't find them." Kim smiled at Kayla. "I just need to make sure Shane's okay."

Kayla chuckled softly, knowing exactly how her sister felt. "All right. But just remember that if you don't find them, then we'll have to send somebody else out looking for you. At this rate, nobody will be left to eat the turkey."

Kim just shook her head. "Don't worry. I don't think anybody wants to miss out on Mama's turkey."

Kayla watched as Kim walked to their parents and said something to them. They both nodded and Kim walked to the door and put on her coat. She flashed a smile at Kayla before leaving.

Leaning back into the cushions of the couch, Kayla closed her eyes for a moment and whispered a prayer that Shane, Steve and Kim could somehow convince John to return. And, failing that, she prayed that her family could salvage a happy Thanksgiving out of the mess and dysfunction anyway.


	460. Chapter 460

Just a reminder. This is the last chapter we will be posting until July 7 or 8, 2012, when we will return to posting every-other day.

jwsel and esp13

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Shane's heart was pounding and he was growing a little light-headed as he scoured the pier. Isabella had headed for the loft to wait for John to return home, but Shane suspected his friend would want to think, and there was no better place to think than the Salem pier.

_Bingo, _Shane thought, as he spotted a solitary figure standing over the water's edge.

"John!" Shane shouted, but the word dissolved into a hacking cough. It took a moment for him to recover. When he looked up, he saw that John had stopped and was staring back in his direction. Shane raised a hand. "Wait."

For a moment, from the way John stiffened, Shane thought John might turn and walk away, but John's shoulders sagged and he began walking toward Shane.

"You shouldn't be out here," John said.

"I don't need another mother hen," Shane replied. "Between Kim and Eve and Caroline, that job's more than covered."

John did not respond. He stood silently and then turned to face the river.

"You can't let Roman get to you," Shane said.

"I can't?" John's voice rose sharply. "Don't you get it? I'm a stranger to them. Whatever I was to them, it's not the same."

Shane knew there was no point to lying to John. "No. . . . It's not the same. But they still care for you. They still think of you as part of their family, and you can't let Roman take that from you."

"But they're not my family," John growled, still staring out at the water. "And nothing's gonna change that."

There was something familiar about this exchange. Shane thought back to a few years earlier and how their roles had been reversed. "Family's what we make of it, John. Remember after we came back from Stefano's island and you were all so bloody angry at me? Remember what you said?"

"What are you getting at, Shane?"

"You said you considered me like a brother," Shane said sharply. "And that's what you are to me. Kim told you the same thing, and I'm sure Kayla and Bo would say it as well. So don't you dare let Roman force you into pushing away the family that loves and cares about you."

John shook his head. "It's not that simple, partner."

"It _is_ that simple." Shane looked John directly in the eye. "Shawn and Caroline wanted you at their house tonight. That says everything."

"Not if they did it because they're feeling sorry for me."

Shane was hitting the limits of his patience. "Bollocks. Now you're just having a whinge and feeling sorry for yourself. I know you and - John Black or Roman Brady or whatever name you give yourself - the one thing you're not is someone who sits around pitying yourself."

John spun around angrily. "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?" he shouted. "That's my family in there. Those should be my folks, my brothers and sisters, my kids. . . ." His voice trailed off at the end and he looked down. In little more than a whisper, he repeated, "That's my family."

"It still is," Shane said, putting a hand on John's shoulder. "I know your life's been turned upside down by this, but your family is still here for you."

"But it's not the same." John stomped his feet on the wood pier. "Do you have any idea what it's like to see Sami and Eric, but know that someone else is tucking them in at night or teaching them to throw a baseball?"

Shane had to shake his head. He could only imagine what John was going through. "I know it must hurt. The closest I came was when Kim left Salem with Andrew." Shane stared out at the water as he remembered. "Every night, there was an emptiness. . . wishing he was here. But it's different, I know. Andrew was still my son and I knew that I could always call him or see him if I wanted. Being completely cut off . . . I don't know how I'd handle it."

"It's the worst thing ever," John said.

_And it will happen if I go to jail_, Shane thought. If that happened, he would be cut off from his children for years, with only the occasional visit.

"I do appreciate what you said." John interrupted the silence that had enveloped them.

"Then come on back to the party," Shane said.

John shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket and turned back to the water. "I can't." He pulled a hand out and raised it before Shane could speak. "I'm not running away. I just don't think I want another confrontation with Roman right now, and that's what'll happen if I go back there. God, Isabella's going to be furious with me."

"No, she won't," Shane assured him. "She's worried and upset, but not angry. She went back to the loft to wait for you."

"I guess I should go over there to make sure she's okay," John said. He let loose a deep breath. "Thanks. . . . Knowing that at least I've got you in my corner. . . . I guess it helps to know somebody at least trusts me."

"Are you kidding?" Shane asked. "There isn't anyone I trust more. I trust you with my life, John. If I didn't trust you, I certainly wouldn't have asked you to help me find Lawrence."

The reminder of Lawrence weighed heavily on him. Shane paused and stepped toward the water's edge. "Sometimes I wonder what will happen if we don't stop him. How many people will die because of his sick, twisted plans? And me . . . stopping Lawrence is my last hope at avoiding prison. If I fail, I'll be cut off from my children too."

The tables turned, John had to provide the supportive words. "That's not going to happen, partner. We're going to nail Alamain. We know where he is and what he's planning."

"But we don't know when he'll strike or what his targets are in Salem," Shane pointed out. "It's a bloody needle in the haystack, and I'm staking my entire future on it."

"We're going to find Lawrence," John insisted. "We know he's in Mauritius now and he's still testing the toxin."

Shane nodded. They knew that, but it was not a lot. "If only we knew what the ISA knew. They must have managed to get someone inside Lawrence's lab by now."

"I don't think my contacts are going to help with much more than where he is," John said.

"I know." Shane thought about Dr. Bowers and her lab, plus the work that Carly was doing. "Maybe I should talk to Carly, but I doubt she'd tell me what she knows. And, frankly, she's just on the research side. She won't know anything about Lawrence's plan for the toxin or who he might be talking to. . . . For that, we'd need Tarrington or someone with high-level access to the ISA computers."

John shrugged. "Sorry, but I'm not high on their Christmas card list these days."

"No, I guess not." Shane chuckled. "Neither am I. I doubt even Roman's got much beyond low-level authorization - even if he were willing to help me."

"I wouldn't count on it, not after that damn article."

Shane had to agree. "Don't worry. I wasn't counting on Roman's help." He looked at John. "I guess it's just up to you and me."


	461. Chapter 461

Thank you for your patience during the past week. Now back to our regular posting - jwsel and esp13

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Steve spotted Shane and John from the top of the stairs leading down to the pier. Relieved that John was okay, Steve debated heading back to the Brady house. Shane seemed to have things under control, it was cold outside, and Steve was missing the party. He had a lot to be thankful for this year and he had promised Kayla a happy and traditional Thanksgiving. Granted, that promise had been broken thanks to Roman, but he didn't want to miss any more time than he had to, particularly when Kayla was finally speaking to him again.

But he hesitated before he could turn back. Maybe John needed more convincing, since he and Shane were just talking. Neither seemed to move in the direction of the Brady house and Steve knew it would mean a lot to Kayla if John could be convinced to return.

Navigating the stairs, which were slick from nearly frozen water from the river, Steve headed toward the pair. They were so intently focused on whatever they were talking about that neither spotted Steve as he approached.

". . . partner." John was speaking as Steve got close enough to overhear. "We're going to nail Alamain. We know where he is and what he's planning."

_Whoa_! Steve froze. _They're going after Alamain. I sure as hell can't leave now._

Ducking behind a pylon, Steve slipped a little closer to Shane and John.

"But we don't know when or what his targets are in Salem," Shane was saying. "It's a bloody needle in the haystack, and I'm staking my entire future on it."

_What does that mean_? Steve wondered. _What's Shane planning_?

John responded. "We're going to find Lawrence. We know he's in Mauritius now and he's still testing the toxin."

So they also knew where Lawrence was holed up. Steve wondered how. Neither was with the ISA anymore, but maybe they still had contacts in the agency.

_Maybe contacts I can use too._

Shane and John were now talking about how to get information about Lawrence's plans. It sounded like they had the same idea as Steve - that Lawrence would use the toxin in Salem.

"Maybe I should talk to Carly," Shane said. "But I doubt she'd tell me what she knows. And, frankly, she's just on the research side. She won't know anything about Lawrence's plan for the toxin or who he might be talking to. . . . For that, we'd need Tarrington or someone with high-level access to the ISA computers."

Steve grimaced as Shane mentioned Carly, recognizing that she was a dead end._ If only I would have realized that_, Steve thought and silently chastised himself for what had happened to Kayla.

"Don't worry. I wasn't counting on Roman's help," Shane said. "I guess it's just up to you and me."

_Maybe not, Donovan. Maybe you could use a third member on your team_.

Shane ran his hand through his hair. "Lawrence is going to have to make his move soon," Shane said. "He put out the word that he had the weapon months ago. He wouldn't want to make them wait too long, because they'll get fed up and spend their money elsewhere. They'll think he's all talk and no trousers."

John laughed. "I've never heard that one before." Neither had Steve.

Shane seemed perplexed for a minute, but then realized what John meant. "All bark and no bite is how you Americans would put it. He talks a lot, but doesn't come through when it counts."

_Great_, Steve muttered under his breath. _I'm freezing out here and missing Thanksgiving so I can get a bloody English lesson._

"Let's hope we can make that a reality," John said. "I've been trying to think of what Lawrence might target. A poison gas at a sporting event or a hospital or a school. He could kill hundreds or thousands in a matter of minutes."

Shane nodded soberly. "And Salem has plenty of targets. There's no way to completely protect all of them. . . . No, we've got to stop Lawrence at his base, before he deploys the toxin."

"So what would he use for a base?" Roman asked. "The old Jencon spots, maybe?"

"Maybe," Shane said. "But that would be pretty risky. He must suspect the ISA has guessed what he's up to. Using anything associated with his past would make it easy to locate him? That is, unless he has a way of hiding in plain sight."

_Sometimes that's the best place to hide_, Steve said to himself.

John nodded. "Guess we'll just have to keep an eye out for anything suspicious."

"Unless we can get something more concrete, I think that's about all we can do," Shane said, his voice grim.

Steve had contacts on the docks and, through Jack, he could often find out about things going on in Salem. He could help with whatever Shane's plan was. And maybe if he worked with Shane and John in Salem, it would lessen Kayla's fears. He knew Kayla was right about him going after Alamain alone. _But, now, maybe I don't have to._

Starting forward from his hiding place among the pylons, Steve stopped short as he heard the sound of a woman's voice.

"Shane!" Kim called from the stairs. "John!"

Steve ducked back behind a pylon and heard Shane say, "Don't say anything about Lawrence. I haven't told her-"

"You haven't told her that you're going after Alamain?" John said, his voice quiet, but sharp.

"Just don't say anything," Shane urged.

Although John seemed exasperated, he said, "Fine."

Steve shook his head. So Shane was keeping Kim in the dark about this plan of his. That would probably backfire about as badly as Steve's investigation of the immunology lab.

Kim reached the men. "Are you okay?" she asked John.

"Yeah, sis, I'm okay."

She gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry about Roman, but he's just being a jerk. Nobody else feels like that about you."

"See?" Shane said. "What did I tell you?"

John looked down and shuffled his feet. "Look . . . I know how you feel and I know I shouldn't let Roman get to me, but. . . ."

"It's just awkward right now." Kim finished the sentence as John nodded. She took his hand. "Come on back to the party and you'll see it doesn't have to be."

John seemed to think for a moment, and then took a deep breath. "I don't think so. Isabella went home. I should probably go back there so she doesn't worry."

From his hiding spot, Steve watched Shane's brow furrow. "Is something going on with Isabella? Is there something you're not telling us?"

"No," John said quickly. _Almost too quickly_, Steve thought. "Nothing's going on. Look. . . . I'm just going to head home and spend Thanksgiving with Isabella. Just tell everyone I'm okay."

Steve could hear Shane and Kim beginning to protest, but decided this would be a good opportunity to slip away. He could not talk to Shane about his plan with Kim around. That discussion would have to wait. And it was better to get away now and avoid anyone spotting him hiding.

Sneaking among the pylons, Steve made his way to the stairs. He glanced back to see that John, Shane, and Kim were still talking, so he raced up the stairs before they could spot him.

"Did you find them?" Kayla, Marlena and Caroline asked in unison as he stepped through the door.

"They're on the pier," he said, stepping toward the fire to warm up. "Shane and Kim are talking to him. I figured I'd leave it to them to bring him back."

Roman snorted, but said nothing when confronted by glares from all of the adults.

"I just hope they come back soon," Caroline said. "The turkey's ready and. . . ." Her voice broke. "I just wanted this to be a happy holiday. We have so much to be thankful for."

"Ma, it is a happy holiday," Kayla said, walking over to Caroline and giving her a hug.

Caroline sniffled a little as she pulled away. "I know, but I wanted John and Isabella here so they know they're always part of this family."

"Sorry, Mama." Kim's voice came from the front door. Shane was behind her and helped her out of her coat. "We tried, but he didn't come back with us."

"He said he's sorry," Shane added. "But he wanted to make sure Isabella was okay."

Caroline sighed and Shawn put an arm around her shoulder.

"Come on, Caroline," he said. "We have a full house, our children and grandchildren here. So let's put aside bad thoughts and look around at everything we have to be thankful for."


	462. Chapter 462

Kayla quietly opened the door to the apartment and stood back as Steve carried a sleeping Stephanie inside.

A soft smile crossed her face as she thought of how Stephanie had worn herself out playing with her cousins. Kayla offered a small prayer of thanks that the children had remained mostly oblivious to the tensions between their parents.

After Steve, Shane, and Kim had returned, the Brady family had proceeded with Thanksgiving dinner. As was custom, each person had taken a brief moment to say what they were thankful for that year. Given the miraculous returns of Steve, Marlena, and Roman, those thanks had all been very similar, leading to some giggles by the time Bo got around to being thankful for their returns as well. Things grew a little more somber when they got to Kim's and Shane's thanks, and, even as they expressed how grateful they were that Shane was there and they had their family together, Kayla could tell that most of the family was also thinking of Shane's upcoming trial and the chance that their happiness would be short-lived.

"I'll take her and put her to bed," Steve said softly, interrupting Kayla's thoughts.

Kayla nodded and softly kissed Stephanie on the cheek. "Sleep well, baby girl," she whispered.

"I think she already is." Steve smiled before he headed for Stephanie's bedroom.

As Steve walked down the hall, Kayla carried the leftovers her mother had packed into the kitchen and put them in the refrigerator. Despite the difficulties with John, and the tensions between Roman, Steve, and Shane, the dinner had gone smoothly. Thankfully, there had seemed to be a silent agreement not to do anything to upset Caroline's dinner any further.

Kayla left the kitchen and returned to the living room. Steve had not returned, but then she heard the soft sounds of a harmonica playing a lullaby. Either Stephanie had woken up or Steve simply had been unable to resist playing his daughter to sleep.

Turning off the lights, Kayla walked towards the bedroom. She paused outside Stephanie's door and listened for a moment. It felt like she was caught in a dream. How many times had she unconsciously listened for that sound while Steve was gone?

Shaking herself from the moment, Kayla continued her journey to the bedroom. Within a few minutes, she had completed her nightly routine. She was just climbing into bed as Steve entered the bedroom.

Kayla pulled the covers over her and turned on her side, facing towards Steve. He offered her a smile and began removing his shirt and jeans.

"Did Stephanie go down okay?" Kayla asked quietly. She never took her eyes off her husband.

Steve nodded. "She woke up a little when I changed her into her pajamas, but it didn't take long for her to go back to sleep."

"I'm sure that lullaby you were playing helped."

Steve turned off the light and climbed into bed and turned towards Kayla. "I don't know about that. I think she was asleep before I started playing. But I couldn't resist anyway."

"I'm glad you didn't." Kayla reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair from Steve's forehead. "I was standing outside Stephanie's room, listening, and realized that I should have added that to the list of things I was thankful for."

Steve smiled. "There are a whole lot of things I could have added to that list, Sweetness. I just figured that everybody else might want to eat sometime tonight."

Kayla chuckled. "That's probably true."

Steve stroked Kayla's cheek and seemed to hesitate before speaking. "I . . . I know you're still upset with me, baby-"

Before he could say anymore, Kayla shook her head and put her fingers on his lips. "I don't want to talk about that tonight. We said we would put that aside for the day, and the day isn't over yet."

Steve nodded and lightly kissed Kayla's fingers. "Sounds good to me, Sweetness." He rolled onto his back and pulled Kayla with him. As his arms went around her back, Kayla laid her head on Steve's chest.

They laid together in silence for a few minutes. Kayla could feel Steve's hands gliding softly up and down her back as she gently stroked his chest. She had missed this closeness the last few days and she was grateful to be in his arms again. She knew they still had a lot to resolve . . . if it could even be resolved. But, rightly or wrongly, she just did not want to think about it tonight.

"You know what I'm most thankful for, Sweetness?" Steve's voice was soft and tender.

Kayla raised her head and looked into his eye. "No. What?"

Steve smiled and kissed Kayla's forehead. "The thing I'm most thankful for is that, about five years ago, a young, beautiful nurse looked at this beat-up, cynical, tough guy and saw something nobody else did. And she didn't listen when everybody told her he was a bad dude, even him."

Kayla felt a tear spring to her eye at the emotion in Steve's voice. Smiling, she kissed his cheek softly. "I'm pretty thankful for that too. And I'm thankful that he finally opened his heart and let everybody see what that nurse had always known. That he was good man with a good heart."

"I'm not sure that good man existed before he met the nurse," Steve replied. He held Kayla's face in his hands and tenderly brushed a tear from her cheek. "But I know damn well, he wouldn't have survived without her." He kissed her softly. "So thank you, Sweetness. Thank you for my life."

_Thank you for my life._ Kayla's heart clinched as she remembered the last time Steve had said those words to her. It was only seconds before his heart had stopped, or so she had thought. Without warning, a sob welled up and she buried her face in Steve's chest as the tears fell.

"Baby?" Steve's voice was full of concern as he wrapped his arms tighter around him. "What's wrong, Sweetness? Please tell me what's wrong."

After a few moments, Kayla managed to collect herself and raised her head. "I'm sorry. I just remembered the last time you said those words to me."

Kayla could see the confusion in Steve's eye. "You don't remember do you?" she asked quietly. Seeing Steve shake his head in response, Kayla took a deep breath and said, "It was when you were in the hospital after the boat explosion. You had come out of the coma and we thought you were getting better, but then you started feeling bad again."

Steve wiped the tears from Kayla's face again, but remained silent.

"Bo went to find the doctor, and I could see how much you were struggling." Kayla's mind drifted back to that awful day. "I held you and told you to take whatever strength you needed from me." She looked at him and softly touched his face. "You were fighting so hard to stay with me. But then you said to tell Stephanie you loved her and then you thanked me for your life."

The tears fell freely again and Kayla could see the tears in Steve's eye as well. "A few seconds after that, you were gone. Those were pretty much the last words you spoke."

Steve tightened his arms around her and pulled her close to him. As her head rested on his chest, he softly stroked her hair. "Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for ever leaving you." He loosened his grip and touched her chin, raising her face to meet his. "But what I said then and what I said tonight is still true. My life would mean nothing without you."

Kayla stared into his eye for a moment, seeing the love he held for her within it. She shifted her body slightly until her face was above his. Then she leaned down and kissed him, trying to pour all the love she felt into him.

The kiss was soft and tender at first, but as it continued, it deepened and sparked the passion within both of them. Kayla felt Steve's hands move up her back and into her hair as he molded her mouth to his.

Finally, they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Steve brushed the hair back from Kayla's face and stared deeply into her eyes, a question in his.

Kayla held his gaze and, in answer to his question, sat up and slowly pulled the nightgown over her head. As Steve reached for her and once more crushed his lips to hers, Kayla lost herself in the feel of his body.

Tomorrow might be about their problems, but tonight would only be about their love.


	463. Chapter 463

The kids were fast asleep by the time they arrived home. Eve freed Jeannie from her car seat and passed her to Kim, who watched while Shane gave Andrew a soft nudge. The boy squirmed in his seat before opening his eyes sleepily.

"Come on, Champ," Shane said. "We're home." Kim could hear the regret in his voice that he had to wake Andrew. Another time, Shane would have just carried his sleeping son into the house, but he was still under orders not to lift much. Holding Jeannie tightly, she watched Shane help Andrew unbuckle the seatbelt and climb out of the car.

Rubbing his eyes, a tired Andrew stumbled toward the door, causing Kim to laugh. "You look like you could use a good night sleep, sweetie. Let's get you to bed."

Kim walked beside him to the door. Shane followed closely behind. Once inside, Eve disappeared, saying she had a phone call to make. Meanwhile, Kim sent Andrew upstairs to brush his teeth and get changed for bed. In her arms, Jeannie remained fast asleep.

"Why don't we tuck the kids in together," Shane said.

"It's no bother," Kim replied. "This one-" She motioned to Jeannie. "This one's out like a light, and I suspect Andrew will be asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow."

Shane smiled. "I know it's no bother, but this is Thanksgiving. Even though we talked about what we're thankful for at your folks, I didn't even begin to scratch the surface. There's still so much that we have to be thankful for." He fell silent for a minute. "You know . . . this is the first Thanksgiving with Jeannie, and we haven't had Thanksgiving together since Andrew was a baby."

Kim thought about that for a minute. Shane was right. They had never spent Thanksgiving together as a family. The year before, she had been in Los Angeles. She had believed Shane dead the year before that. And the year before that, she and Shane had been Stefano's captives. Their only Thanksgiving together had been shortly after Eve's arrival, and things had been tense and confusing at that time.

"I know we probably could have done without the drama," Kim said. "But I'm glad we were together as a family tonight."

Shane wrapped an arm around her and smiled. "Come on. The night's not over."

She let him lead her to the stairs and noticed that he did not hesitate at all as they climbed to the second floor. _He is getting stronger_. Shane helped her as she changed Jeannie's diaper and got her dressed for bed. Then they both gave Jeannie a goodnight kiss and Kim set the baby in her crib. She started for the door, but stopped when she realized that Shane was still standing over the crib.

"Shane?" she asked softly.

It took a moment for him to respond. His eyes never left Jeannie. "She's so beautiful, Kim. And sometimes I think of how we almost never knew and how I was such a fool for pushing her away." He reached down and brushed Jeannie's cheek. "I always wanted a little girl and here she was. . . . All that time. . . ."

Kim walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and leaned her head against his back. "But we learned the truth and you can't spend your life regretting what you can't change. We're here now and we're all together. You should be happy."

Shane turned around, put a hand under her chin, and tilted her face up so they were looking into each other's eyes. His eyes shone, glistening from unshed tears. "I am happy," he said softly. "Right now, in this house, I have everything I've ever wanted."

She kissed him, then took his hand. "Come on. Your son is waiting."

Tucking Andrew in took no time. He was already half-asleep when they entered his room and did not even ask for a bedtime story. After they kissed him goodnight, Shane turned off the light and they headed toward their own bedroom. But just before they reached the door, Shane stopped her.

"Wait," he said.

Kim turned around to face him and asked, "Why?"

For a moment, Shane seemed to hesitate, but then he stepped around her so he was between her and the bedroom door.

"Shane, what's going on?"

He held up a hand. "Patience, my dear." Still facing her, he reached behind himself with the other hand and turned the doorknob. He pushed the door open slightly and stepped aside so Kim could enter.

"Oh my-"

The words caught in Kim's throat as the stepped through the doorway. The bedroom was aglow with the soft, flickering light of dozens of candles. Kim could smell the scent of roses even before she saw the numerous bouquets of flowers.

She heard the click of the door shutting closed and then Shane's voice came from close behind her. "I hope you like it."

"How couldn't I like it?" she breathed, still taking in the soft light and the flowers. The entire room was swathed in the soft gleam. "It's . . . it's wonderful."

Shane wrapped his arms around her and she felt his breath against her cheek. In her ear, he whispered, "Not as wonderful as you are. You are everything to me, Kimberly Brady, and I am beyond thankful that I am here with you."

She turned her head so she could look into his eyes again. "And you are everything to me, Shane Donovan."

He kissed her gently and her eyes closed as she savored the feel of his lips against hers. The kiss grew in intensity. Kim's lips parted and their tongues met. Her heart began to pound as her body melted into his. His lips moved to her neck and she reached back with one hand, which entwined in his thick hair.

_I want this so much_, she thought, shivering in anticipation. She was barely aware of him sliding off her jacket. He continued to kiss her neck and worked the buttons on her blouse, which soon joined the jacket on the floor. Kim pressed her body back against his as his hands stroked her now bare shoulders and arms.

"Wait!" She turned quickly, but Shane's arms remained around her as she said, "Your doctors-"

Shane grinned like a little boy.

"When?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"Yesterday," he said. "As long as I don't push myself too hard. . . . Do you have any idea how hard it was to stop myself from pulling you into this room last night?" He brushed her cheek with his hand. "But I wanted it to be just right."

Kim could feel joyful tears forming in her eyes. "This . . . this couldn't be any more right," she said. She reached up and pushed a little hair from over his eyes, then drew her index finger around his eye and then over his lips. "This is a night I'll treasure forever."

There were no more words, as she took his hands in hers and stepped backward toward the bed. His eyes, filled with hungry desire, remained fixed on hers as she reclined on the bed, pulling him with her. Kim stared into his face. His skin was already glistening in the soft glow of the candlelight as he slipped off her camisole, lowered his head, and his lips began to travel down her body.

As she shuddered under his touch, Kim felt the entire world dissolve. She was his. Nothing could be more right.


	464. Chapter 464

Something was pressing down on his chest, Shane realized, as he gradually came to.

It took him a second to realize what it was. Then he slowly opened his eyes and smiled.

In the early morning light, he could see that Kim's head was resting on his chest. She was turned on her side, her blond hair cascading over and obscuring her face. Kim's right arm stretched lazily across Shane's ribs.

_This must be a dream_, he thought, but then he looked around the room and saw the flower bouquets and melted candles. This was no dream.

He reached down and stroked Kim's hair. That elicited a soft murmur and Kim stirred, but then she settled her head again against his chest. He could feel the soft puff of each of her breaths against his bare skin and he smiled.

Sighing contentedly, Shane let his hand drop and rest on her exposed shoulder. He studied her golden hair, trying to sear into his memory how each tendril spread over his chest and arm. He wanted to seal the memory away just as he had tried to memorize the look on Kim's face as they had made love the night before.

Perhaps sensing his gaze, Kim stirred once more. This time, she lifted her head and beamed at him with a soft smile and gleaming eyes. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Shane smiled back.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked. "I was worried a little. You're not supposed to be pushing yourself and you just collapsed right after-" Perhaps seeing the look on his face, she cut off abruptly.

Shane felt mortified. Had he been that selfish? He knew he had pushed his physical limits the night before. He remembered how his heart had felt like it might explode through his chest. With a frown, he muttered, "I'm sorry."

Kim rolled her eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I wasn't complaining."

"You don't have to coddle me, Kim," he said glumly. He hated disappointing her. "I guess that wasn't exactly a four-star performance."

She slid closer so her face was right next to his. "I'm grading on a curve." Before he could respond, she kissed him, a long, slow kiss that promised much more to follow.

Shane started to pull away. If he couldn't satisfy her. . . .

"Would you stop sulking?" Kim scolded. "Listen to me." Her voice softened. "Last night was wonderful and I can't imagine it being any better than it was."

She sounded sincere, Shane thought as he studied her. He still had some doubts. "Really?"

"Yes, really." Kim laughed and sounded exasperated. "This is what I get for falling in love with a perfectionist." She shifted her body so she was now on top of him. She kissed him his lips once more, moved to his jaw, and then to his neck, nibbling at a spot that made him groan with pleasure.

With each touch, his body began to respond. His heart was beginning to pound again and he silently begged her not to stop. Kim seemed to get his message, because she let her tongue trace a line along his neck as she started to move lower.

It was all he could do not to flip her over and take her, but she maintained control as her hands and mouth seemed to be everywhere at once. "God!" he gasped as she slipped one hand low under the covers and stroked his growing erection.

Kim looked up at him, her head just a few inches above his chest. "I think this is pretty perfect," she whispered. Shane could hardly disagree.

She lowered her head ahead again, but stopped suddenly. Shane could feel her entire body freeze.

"Kim?" he groaned, desperate for her to continue. When she did not respond, he looked up.

He could only see the top of her head, which was still a few inches above his chest. She was staring down at his chest - at the long scar that ran most of its length.

"Kim?" he repeated.

"I . . . ." She let go of him with her hand, sat up, and brushed some hair from her face. She looked at him, her eyes glistening. She swallowed. "I'm sorry. It's silly. . . . I just hadn't seen it up close."

He reached up and took her hand. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," Kim said in a low voice. A lone tear trailed down her cheek. "You could've died because I let Cal into our lives."

"Hey." Shane could not sit up with Kim straddling him, but he pulled her hand forward and kissed it. "Cal can't hurt us anymore. And I didn't die. I'm right here with you and I'm not going anywhere."

Kim blinked back the tears, nodded, and smiled. "I know. It just sometimes hits me how close-"

"Shush. No more talking about that." Shane kissed her hand again and then lowered it to the center of his sternum, so it settled on top of the scar. "See . . . it doesn't even hurt."

She nodded again and then tentatively ran her index finger along the scar. "I guess I just need to get used to it. . . ."

"You will," Shane assured her, trying to assuage the guilt he could still hear in her voice. He touched her cheek and tried to change the subject. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now?"

He saw a bit of pink flare in her cheeks.

"Come here," he urged, pulling her closer to him so they could kiss again. As their lips met and then parted so their tongues could explore each other, he felt the tension leave Kim's body.

She murmured as the kiss ended. "I told Kayla I'd go shopping with her today."

"Tell her you're busy spending the day in bed making love with me," Shane suggested. Seeing Kim's raised eyebrow, he said, "Or if you want to be a little more oblique, tell her you're 'otherwise occupied.'"

"You're terrible," Kim replied.

"I am. Terribly in love with you." He ignored her groan at his pun and rolled her over, so he was now above her. "Now . . . where were we? Oh, right, spending the day in bed together, making each other go mad with pleasure."

Kim's giggle turned into a pleasured gasp as he kissed a spot on her neck that he knew was particularly sensitive. "Oh, you don't play fair," she scolded.

"All's fair in love and war, darling. You-" Shane broke off what he was about to say, interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

"Master Shane," came Simmons voice through the door.

Shane groaned. "Oh, for heaven's sake."

"Don't answer," Kim said. She ran her hands through his hair. "Just pretend we didn't hear him."

The knocking came more loudly and more insistent.

After neither of them responded, they heard another voice. "Donovan! I know you're in there."

"You've got to be bloody kidding me," Shane growled. _What the hell was Steve Johnson doing outside their bedroom_? But he knew how stubborn Steve could be, and doubted that ignoring the man would make him go away. He gave Kim an apologetic look. "Let me deal with this."

He reluctantly dragged himself away from her and found a robe. Pulling it on, he headed for the door, which he opened only a crack.

Steve was standing outside, a bemused smirk on his face. "Did I interrupt anything?"

Simmons quickly spoke up. "I asked Master Johnson to wait downstairs."

"I'm sure you did," Shane said evenly.

"Look, don't go blaming the butler," Steve replied. "We gotta talk, and it can't wait."

Shane knew he was not going to win. He gave Steve a curt nod. "Give me five minutes to get changed and I'll meet you in the study."

He closed the door, turned to Kim, and shrugged. She was scowling good-naturedly at the interruption. As he headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up, he stopped by the bed, knelt down and gave her another kiss.

"Don't you dare move an inch. I'll be back in a flash and then we can get back to those plans for the day."


	465. Chapter 465

Steve paced around Shane's study waiting for Shane to join him. He chuckled silently as he recalled the look on Shane's face when he had appeared at the bedroom door. Steve felt kind of bad about interrupting, but his conversation with Shane could not wait. Steve needed to know what was going on with Lawrence Alamain. After he and Kayla had made love the previous night, she had fallen asleep in his arms and Steve had vowed to himself to find a way to deal with Alamain without hurting Kayla anymore. He had no idea how he was going to do that, but he had a hunch Shane might hold the key. That hope had caused him to leave his wife sleeping in their bed that morning. Now, he wanted to find out what Shane knew and get back home as quickly as possible.

It was closer to ten minutes before a scowling Shane walked into the study. He was now wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater, not just a robe like earlier.

"Hey, sorry about interrupting," Steve said.

Shane walked over to his desk, still scowling. "So what is so important that you had to barge right up to my bedroom to talk to me about?"

"I want in," Steve said.

Shane leaned against the desk. "In?"

"Your plan with John."

Shane shook his head. "You're imagining things, Steve. I don't have any plan with John."

"Cut the bull, Donovan. I heard you two talking on the dock last night." Steve caught a slight look of surprise on Shane's face, but it quickly disappeared. "Yeah, you didn't even know I was there, but I heard you. You're going after Lawrence."

Shane shook his head. "What we were talking about has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me," Steve barked. He forced himself to take a breath before his anger got the better of him. "Lawrence Alamain stole nine months of my life and put me and my family through hell. He tested that damn poison on me, and I'll be damned if I just sit back and do nothing while he uses that stuff in Salem."

Shane's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, yeah. . . . I know a lot more than you think." Steve walked toward the desk. "I've seen the ISA study - it's 'worst case scenario.' If he attacks a Salem U basketball game, estimated casualties 8,000. If he attacks a school, 500 dead. And I know all about how the ISA is stockpiling scorpion anti-venom in the immunology lab." When Shane did not respond, Steve added, "And I know Lawrence is in Mauritius, where he's probably perfecting the toxin."

Shane turned away and walked toward the window. "This isn't your battle, Steve. Let the ISA handle it."

"Like you are?" Steve asked. "Don't play me for a fool. If you thought the ISA could handle it, you wouldn't be working with John. Besides, you want revenge just as much as I do."

"It's not about revenge," Shane said.

Steve could not read Shane's face, because he was facing the window, his back to Steve, but there was an obvious sincerity in his voice. "Okay, then what is it about?"

"Look, I can't tell you." Shane turned his head. "But it has nothing to do with you, Steve. Just stay out of it."

"How can you tell me to 'stay out if'? After what Alamain did to me, do you honestly expect me to just sit by and do nothing."

"And then what?" Shane snapped. "You're going to let him kill you for real this time? Bloody hell, Steve. You have your life back. Why can't you just take that and be happy with Kayla and Stephanie?"

Steve shook his head and laughed. "Okay. . . . Let me see if I have this straight. I'm supposed to just go on with my happy life while you and John go after Lawrence all by yourselves. But it's okay if it happens to you? Why's that? Because your life isn't happy? I guess I'm wrong about why you didn't want to be interrupted just now."

"That's not it," Shane said, crossing back toward the desk.

Steve was losing his patience. "Then what is it? Tell me why I'm supposed to sit on the sidelines and be happy while you're risking your life!"

"I don't have a choice!" Shane shouted. He steadied himself and his voice lowered. "I just don't have a choice, Steve. I have to be the one to stop Lawrence."

Now, Steve was confused. There was something to this that he did not understand. "Why, dude? The entire ISA is after Lawrence. Why does it have to be you?"

Shane seemed to hesitate, as if debating whether to explain. Finally, he motioned to a chair in front of his desk and Steve knew he was about to hear the truth. Rather than do anything that might cause Shane to reconsider, Steve sat down.

"Okay, Donovan. What's this all about?"

Shane took a deep breath. "This is my last chance, Steve. This is the only way I'm going to stay out of prison on these treason charges."

That made no sense. "What does bringing down Lawrence have to do with the charges? I don't get it."

"And I thought you understood how the ISA works," Shane said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "If I stop Lawrence - something the ISA couldn't do - they'll have to say I'm still working for them. They can't let themselves look like they couldn't stop a madman from attacking an American city."

"So you stop Lawrence and they'll just pat you on the back and all will be forgiven?" Steve did not try hard to hide his skepticism. Before Shane could respond, Steve held up a hand. "Okay, dude, I get it. They'll welcome you back with open arms. But how the hell are you going to stop Lawrence? You just nearly got yourself killed by Winters."

Shane looked away. "I can handle it."

"Sure, you can handle it. You and John can take down Lawrence all on your own." Steve wondered for a moment if he sounded like Kayla. "You know that you and John would have a much better chance if I help you. I'll have your back on this."

"No," Shane snapped. "Damn it, Steve. I didn't bring you out of that camp just to throw you back into Lawrence's clutches."

Steve stood up and looked Shane in the eye. "That's not your choice, Shane. It's mine. Look . . . either you work with me or I'm going after Lawrence myself. And you've already seen what can happen when I do? Remember what I did to your surveillance on Lawrence's house? Who's to say I don't screw things up for you and John. You're better off knowing what I'm doing."

"Steve, please. . . ." Shane sounded like he was talking to a child, which only made Steve more annoyed

"No, Donovan." Steve was not going to be deterred. "Even if I didn't give a damn about Alamain, I still owe you. So, if this is how you're going to stay out of prison, I'm going to help."

"You owe me, you say?" Shane stepped toward Steve. "If you owe me, then the best way of paying me back is to go home and be with your wife and daughter. Make them happy, Steve. That's what I wanted when I took the assignment."

Steve shook his head. "No dice. I'm here and I know your plan. Hell, you got John involved, so let me help."

"Steve, I only got John involved as a way of helping him get through this stuff with the Bradys." Shane took another deep breath. "I don't plan on getting him hurt."

"Oh, so you're only going to let yourself get killed. Sorry, dude, I can't let you do that. You're not going after Lawrence alone."

"Lawrence?"

Steve spun around to see Kim standing in the doorway of the study. She was wearing her robe and looked like she had just gotten out of bed. But what Steve mainly saw was the look in her eyes - anger and betrayal.

"Steve, I think you should leave," Shane said quietly.

"Yes," Kim agreed. "You should. I think Shane and I have a lot to talk about."


	466. Chapter 466

"You're really not helping me, baby girl," Kayla said to her daughter, who was currently covered with as much oatmeal as she had managed to eat. In response, Stephanie just smiled and giggled, clearly enjoying this new breakfast game.

"Too bad your daddy isn't here to see this," Kayla chuckled. Grabbing the washcloth she kept nearby, she made another attempt at cleaning off Stephanie's face. As she worked, her smile faded, thinking of Steve.

Kayla had awoken that morning to a note and yellow rose on his pillow. Steve's note had simply said that he had an errand to run, he would explain when he returned, and he had promised to return soon.

As much as she did not want to think about it, Kayla was sure the errand had something to do with Steve's insistence on going after Lawrence Alamain. She sighed softly, wondering why fate seemed so determined to never let them just live a normal life.

Shaking off that thought, Kayla picked up Stephanie and carried her into the bathroom. For the next hour, she immersed herself in the simple, and messy, joy of giving her daughter a bath and getting her dressed for the day.

When Stephanie was presentable, Kayla placed her in the playpen in the master bedroom and quickly jumped in the shower herself. Keeping one ear pealed for any sound from Stephanie, Kayla showered rapidly, stepped out, wrapped herself in a towel, and headed for the bedroom.

"Thanks for being a good girl while Mo-" Kayla stopped in mid-sentence when she realized Stephanie was not in her playpen. A surge of panic coursed through her as she looked rapidly around the room and then bolted through the door.

"Stephanie!" Kayla called as she ran into the living room, only to be brought up short by the sight of her daughter crawling all over Steve as he lay on the living room floor.

Kayla sagged against the arm of the couch in relief. Steve looked up, concern in his eye. "Are you okay, Sweetness?"

Kayla nodded and managed a wan smile. "I didn't hear you come home and when I came out of the shower and Stephanie wasn't in her playpen, I . . . I guess I panicked."

"Oh, baby." Steve sat up, bringing Stephanie to his lap. "I'm sorry. I should have let you know I was home. I just figured I'd keep the little one occupied while you finished your shower."

"It's okay," Kayla replied, feeling almost normal again. She turned back toward the bedroom. "I'm going to go get dressed." Then she stopped and looked Steve in the eye. "And then I think we need to talk about your errand this morning."

Steve nodded. "I think that's a good idea, Sweetness."

Kayla walked to her bedroom, feeling strangely unsettled. Steve's willingness to talk surprised her and she couldn't help but wonder what the catch was. She loved his desire to protect her, but hated the all-too-common consequence of him trying to keep things from her.

After she had dressed, Kayla returned to the living room. Steve had placed Stephanie in the playpen. Surrounded by her favorite toys and stuffed animals, their daughter was babbling away happily.

Kayla sat down on the couch next to Steve and took his hand. It was almost impossible for her to be near him without touching him in some way. She gently played with his fingers and then asked, "So what was the errand that was so important this morning?"

"I went to talk to Shane," Steve said, without hesitation.

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise. That had not been what she had expected to hear. "Shane? You mean about his trial?"

Steve shook his head. "Not really." He turned to look at her. "Remember last night when I went to look for Shane and John?" Kayla nodded and he continued. "I found them talking on the pier. I wasn't meaning to eavesdrop, at least at first, but I could hear them talking about Alamain. Apparently, the two of them have been working together to find him."

Kayla's heart sank. "So you went to talk to Shane about Lawrence Alamain?"

Steve nodded. "Shane thinks that if he, or we, can find Alamain and stop him from carrying out whatever sick plan he's working on, then the ISA won't have any choice but to drop the treason charges against him."

Kayla scoffed. "Don't tell me Shane suddenly has faith in the common decency of the ISA?"

"No," Steve replied. "But if Shane can bring down Lawrence Alamain, the ISA can't possibly deny that Shane is working for them. Otherwise, they'll be admitting that one lone agent took down a guy that the whole ISA couldn't deal with."

"That's a pretty big 'if' isn't it?" Kayla could not keep the sarcasm from her voice.

"Yeah it is, baby. But Shane's running out of options. His trial is just a couple of weeks away and I've had no luck finding a way to get him out of the mess I caused for him. This may be his last chance." He sighed softly. "I have to help him, Kayla. I told Shane I wanted in on whatever he and John are planning."

Kayla was silent for a moment. The last thing she wanted was for Shane to go to prison. But at least he would be alive. Trying to bring down Alamain was a suicide mission. Her fear and anger rose to the surface. "Kim and Shane just reunited and he's recovering from serious injuries. John is trying to put his life back together. And you have a wife and daughter who just got you back. But instead of focusing on those things, you three are going to go play hero."

"Come on, baby. You know that's not fair."

"Isn't it?" Kayla asked, stubbornly. "It seems just as fair as asking me - and Kim and Isabella - to sit on the sidelines and hope you all manage not to get yourself killed."

"Oh, Sweetness," Steve whispered. Putting his hands on Kayla's shoulders, he turned her and pulled her to him so that she was leaning back against his chest. He softly kissed her hair and then spoke. "When I woke up this morning, I promised myself I would find a way to protect you without hurting you anymore. Maybe that's not possible, but I need you to really listen to me for a minute, okay?"

Kayla nodded and leaned further into the warmth of his arms. She needed to feel him around her right now.

"I know you don't want to think about it, but the fact is that Lawrence is going to come after us." Kayla tried to pull away to protest, but Steve's arms held her tight against him. "You know I'm right, baby. It's time to face the truth and accept it. He's coming here and he's going to try to hurt us . . . and our family." Steve brushed his fingers through Kayla's hair. "I keep having this dream of you and Stephanie. You're on the floor, paralyzed from the toxin. I'm begging you to wake up, but then you both stop breathing."

Kayla felt the tears stream down her cheeks at Steve's words. She knew he was right. As much as she had tried to deny it - to pretend that the ISA or somebody would stop him - she knew Lawrence was going to try and take his revenge on Salem.

"You know I'm right, don't you, baby?" Steve asked softly.

Kayla nodded again, unable to speak as the tears continued to stream down her face.

"Okay." He kissed the side of her head. "I know you still don't like it. But please just try and remember one thing."

"What?" Kayla croaked, turning to look at him.

"That whatever I do, it's because I love you and Stephanie, and I want you to both be safe. There is nothing I want more than to grow old with you and watch Stephanie grow up. I would never jeopardize that dream unless I had no other choice." He pulled her tightly to him again. "If you never believe anything else, please believe that."

Kayla melted back into his arms and cried softly. She wanted to tell him she understood, but she just could not form the words. The thought of losing him again was too terrifying, the memories of that dark and painful time were too fresh.

"It's okay, Sweetness," Steve said soothingly. "I've got you and I'm never going to let you go."

Kayla closed her eyes and focused on the sound of his steady breathing. She knew he couldn't really keep his promise about never letting her go, but right now she didn't care. She was going to hold on to it, and to him, for just as long as she could.


	467. Chapter 467

Kim tried to stop herself from shaking. She had come downstairs to see what was keeping Shane just in time to hear Steve talk about a "plan" and Shane respond that he had no intention of getting John hurt. Then Steve had accused Shane of trying to get himself killed by going after Lawrence.

Stunned, Kim had been unable to stop herself from interrupting. Was he kidding? Lawrence Alamain was a sociopath, who had no conscience and acted with no remorse. With his resources, even a fully healthy Shane would struggle to bring him down. But in his current condition, it was suicide.

As Steve hastily left the room, Kim asked herself, _Is that what he wants_? _After everything we've been through_? _After last night. . . . How can he just throw everything away_?

_No_, she couldn't believe that. She just couldn't make sense of it. So she just stood there, waiting for Shane to speak.

He took his time before he finally said, "Kim."

"That's all you can say?" she asked, knowing she sounded hurt and betrayed. "Steve said 'Lawrence.' Was he right? Are you going after Lawrence Alamain?"

"Kim, you don't understand," he said.

_Like hell I don't_, she thought, struggling to keep control. "Oh, I think I understand plenty. You have to play the hero, even if you're barely fit. Why can't _you_ understand for once? You're not invincible."

"I never said I was," Shane said, his voice tight. "And this isn't about playing a hero."

"Then what is it about?" Kim asked. As much as she wanted to lose control and yell at him, she told herself that she had to hear him out. They had been through too much in coming back together; she would not let that go without a fight.

Shane sighed and looked away. "This is something I have to do, Kim. I don't have a choice."

"Of course you have a choice," she insisted, though she still kept her voice low and even. "You have the choice to stay home, recover, and live a life with your family. But you can't do that if you go out and get yourself killed."

"And I can't do that if I'm in jail either," Shane said. "Don't you see? I can't be with you and the children if I'm in jail."

Now Kim was completely befuddled. "What are you talking about?" Did Shane think dying was better than going to jail? "Shane . . . you can't think like that. Dying isn't the answer."

"What?" It looked like it was Shane's turn to be confused. "No . . . wait . . . you don't understand," he said. "Kim, I'm going after Lawrence, because that's how I'm going to avoid going to jail."

Kim shook her head. That made no sense. "What does Lawrence have to do with you going to jail? I don't get it. We have a chance here, Shane. We have a chance to have a life together."

"I know that," Shane said, looking as if he was struggling to explain himself. "Look. . . ." He took a breath and seemed to force himself to calm. "Kim, I want our life together. If I stop Lawrence, we'll have that life. If I stop Lawrence from using his poison in Salem, the ISA won't be able to send me to jail. If I do that, they'll have to let me go."

_Poison_? Kim had no clue what Shane was talking about. "Shane," she said slowly. "What poison?" Then it hit her. Steve's description of what had happened to him when he was a captive. "The stuff they used on Steve? You think Lawrence is going to use that on Salem."

Shane hesitated, but then nodded. "Lawrence wants revenge on Salem. And he needs to show that the toxin he's developing is effective. What better way to accomplish both goals than using it here?"

Kim stared at him in disbelief. "And you were just keeping that secret? People should know, so they can protect themselves."

"No," Shane said, shaking his head. "There's a plan in place already to deal with it if it happens. If we publicized it, people would panic and Lawrence might target someplace else. Trust me. . . . I left the ISA with the best possible plan in place if the toxin is used here."

Kim took a few steps toward the window. How could Shane just stand there so calm when they were talking about a poison possibly being used against their friends and loved ones? But she had to admit he was right that word of the toxin would cause a panic.

None of that, however, addressed her more pressing concern.

"If the ISA has a plan, leave it to the ISA to deal with Lawrence." She turned to face him. "Why can't you do that?"

"I need to be the one to stop him," Shane replied. "That's the only way I can stay out of prison."

She want to call him crazy, but she could tell that Shane was completely serious. "How can you think one thing's connected to the other?"

"If I stop Lawrence, the ISA will have to say that I was working for them," Shane explained. "They can't admit that one man stopped Lawrence from dropping his gas on Salem, when the ISA couldn't. And when they do that, they won't be able to simultaneously claim in court that I wasn't working for them."

He had to be crazy. "_If_ you stop Lawrence? Shane, what are you talking about? Lawrence Alamain is a killer - and you think you're going to stop him on your own?"

"Kim, it's the only way."

"No, it's not," she insisted. "What about the plea deal? It's three years, Shane." She stepped toward him and clasped his arm in her hands. "Three years, and then we'll be together in England with our children.

Shane took another deep breath and shook his head. "I can't just throw away that time. I've missed almost all of Jeannie's life and most of Andrew's. And I know you'll wait for me, but . . . but I don't want to miss a minute longer than I have to. If there's a way to avoid going to jail, I have to try. I have to fight to be with you and the children."

Kim could hear the sincerity in his voice, and she could understand why he so desperately wanted to stay with their family. But why couldn't he see the risk?

"Please, Shane," she said. She was nearly begging. "If you were healthy and you had the ISA's resources behind you, I could understand. But that's not the man you are right now. You couldn't even make love to me last night without passing out."

She mentally kicked herself for adding that last part when she saw Shane bristle.

"I see," he said tightly.

"I didn't mean it like that," she protested. "It's just that you're still injured. You haven't fully recovered yet."

Shane responded, a sharp edge to his voice. "And I'm never going to recover fully. You need to realize that Kim. If you can't . . . if you expect something more-"

"Stop it," Kim said. "Don't try to twist things to push me away, Shane Donovan. I know that's what you're doing. I don't care about how much you recover. I love you no matter what. But I'm in this for the long haul and can't you see that I don't what you to throw away that future because you won't face reality. You're not recovered enough right now. You need time-"

Shane cut her off. "I don't have time. While I'm trying to get better, my trial is coming closer and closer. It's what? Two-and-a-half weeks from now." His eyes locked on hers. "I need to do this, Kim. I need to try."

Kim wanted to scream. She wanted to yell and ask what if he found Lawrence and got himself killed? After everything that had happened, after they had finally fought their way back together, how could he risk losing everything?

But she couldn't. She knew Shane. She knew he was stubborn. She knew he would never back down once he set his mind to accomplishing something. And, she had to admit, that not long ago, she had been the one demanding to know why Shane was willing to give up without fighting to stay with his family. As much as she hated his plan, if it was the only way he thought he could stay with them, she would not be able to change his mind.

"It doesn't matter what I say, does it?" she asked.

Shane closed his eyes, answering her question.

"I know you're frightened, Kim." Shane opened his eyes and looked at her. "I know your biggest fear is that I might be killed, but don't you see that my biggest fear is losing you and our children."

"But you won't lose us," Kim said. "As long as you're alive, you can't lose us."

_Why can't he understand_? she asked herself. But she could see in his eyes that he refused to see things her way.

"I'm sorry," he said, softly. "I have to do this."

Kim could hear the regret in his voice, but she also could hear his determination. She turned, and looked at the photos of Shane and the children over the mantle.

"I know you're thinking you're doing what's best for our family," Kim said. "But what our family needs is you, and if it means that we have to wait three years for you, it's far better than your children never knowing you." She knew she was back to bashing her head against a wall and it was pointless to continue the argument, so she just said, "I love you, Shane Donovan, and I love you for wanting to do everything you can to stay with us, but it's not worth your life. Nothing's worth that."

He stared at her. "I love you too, Kim. . . . And I have no intention on letting anything happen to me"

Kim nodded, trying to think of what to say, then remembered the argument she had heard when she first walked in. "If that's really your intention, then let Steve and John help you," she said. "I heard you say you won't get John hurt, but I know you. The only way you can keep that promise is to try to do this alone. Don't. If you really love your family and want to come back to us, at least, let them help you."

"I. . . ." Shane hesitated. "I'll think about it, okay?" Then he looked down at the floor. "So where does this leave us?"

She knew what he was thinking. The last time they had fought after making love, she had left. _No_, she decided. _I'm not going to do that again_.

"It leaves us where we were before this morning," Kim said. "I love you and I'm not going to let any walls go back up between us." He looked confused at that, but she said, "I knew when I fell in love with you that you could be stubborn and headstrong, and you wouldn't be the man I fell in love with if I forced you to change. But I also want you to think about what you're putting at risk, so I'm going to be right there beside you, showing you what our life together can be like. Because, if nothing else, I'm going to make sure you know exactly what you're fighting for."


	468. Chapter 468

Steve carefully opened the door to the apartment and grimaced when he saw that the lights were on in the living room. He was carrying a sack with Kayla's Christmas present and he had hoped to beat her home.

Kayla had left the house early that morning with a full day of shopping planned. Shawn and Caroline had agreed to watch the children while Kim, Kayla, Marlena, and Carly did their Christmas shopping. Steve had figured it was a good time for him to get some of his own done too.

Slipping the small bag inside his jacket, Steve quietly hung the jacket in the closet just inside the door before loudly announcing, "Sweetness, I'm home."

Steve smiled as he heard rustling noises from their bedroom and within a few seconds, Kayla appeared in the living room.

"What are you doing back there, baby?" Steve asked with a knowing grin.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Kayla replied with a smile. "Just stay out of that bedroom until I say otherwise."

"But maybe I had plans for that room, Sweetness." Steve let his eye wander over Kayla's entire body as he walked purposely towards her.

"Well I guess you're just going to have to put those plans on hold for the time being," Kayla scolded, although Steve could tell her heart wasn't really in it.

"You sure about that, baby?" Steve asked as he reached her. "I think you might like my plans." He leaned down, kissed her gently, and then kissed her again with more urgency.

"Yes, I'm sure," Kayla finally answered when they broke apart. Then she smiled impishly and continued, "But there are other rooms in this house, you know?"

Steve laughed and picked Kayla up, carrying her to the couch and placing her on his lap. He nuzzled her neck as he asked, "So I take the shopping trip was successful?"

Kayla nodded, moaning softly as his lips found her favorite spot. "I've still got a few presents to buy, but most of the family is taken care of." Then she lifted her head and looked at him. "Where were you when I got home?"

Ignoring her question, Steve resumed his exploration of Kayla's neck. "Is Stephanie still at your parents' house?" he asked between kisses.

"Yeah," Kayla replied. "She was taking a nap when I got there, so I decided I'd bring everything home and pick her up later."

"So we have the whole house to ourselves?" Steve leaned over, laying Kayla onto the couch. "Don't you think we should take advantage of that?"

Kayla laughed and pushed back against his chest. "You're impossible, Steve Johnson." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "You still haven't told him where you were today?"

"You don't give up do you, Sweetness?" Steve asked, smiling at her determination. Sitting back up he said, "If you must know, I was running some errands of my own."

Steve didn't miss the shadow that crossed Kayla's face as she sat up and faced him. She took his hand and caressed it lightly for a moment before she spoke. "I know that you want to protect me and I know that the way I reacted yesterday probably didn't help things, but I really wish you just tell me the truth."

Steve looked at Kayla in confusion. "What do you mean, Kayla? I am telling you the truth."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Come on, Steve. Don't you think I've figured out by now that 'running errands' is code for something. In this case, probably meeting with John and Shane. And if that's what you are doing, just tell me. As hard as it is to face the fear, it's even harder when I feel like I'm being shut out."

"Sweetness," Steve said softly, looking into Kayla's eyes. "I promise you, I'm not shutting you out. And I'm sorry for making things so crazy that you don't know that." He brushed her cheek gently with his hand. "I haven't talked to Shane since I saw him yesterday."

"Oh. . . ." Kayla looked down at their hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

Steve shook his head. "It's not your fault. I've given you a lot of reasons to jump to those conclusions with the way I've handled things lately." He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. "Remember yesterday when we talked about why I wanted to help Shane and John?"

Kayla nodded, looking at Steve with a curious expression.

"Well," he continued. "I didn't tell you all of the reasons. I want to help Shane get out of those treason charges and I definitely want to stop Alamain from carrying out whatever he has planned." He smiled at Kayla. "But I also asked Shane to let me in on his plan because I realized you were right."

"Right about what?"

"About not being able to do everything on my own," Steve replied. "You'd have thought I would have learned my lesson long before now, but I guess I'm a slow learner. But you were right about the lab and my plan to go to Mauritius. They were both stupid ideas. But, as usual, I was jumping into something without thinking about the consequences."

"You were just trying to protect us all from Lawrence. I understand that."

Steve smiled at Kayla's automatic defense of him, even from himself. "Yeah, I was, baby. But I was going about it the wrong way. And, as a result, I got you fired from the lab and had myself talked into what was probably a suicide mission." He took a deep breath. "You know I can't promise you that I'll never be in danger again. But I can promise you that I'll never forget that you're counting on me to come home."

Kayla smiled and kissed Steve on the cheek. "Good. Because I will always be here waiting for you." She leaned back and looked him in the eye. "You know, you're not the only one who has been doing some thinking."

"Yeah?"

Kayla nodded. "I won't pretend that I'm not still terrified about you and Shane and John going after Lawrence. I don't think the fear of losing you again will ever go away. But I also know that I can't stick my head in the sand and pretend everything is just going to be okay because I wish for it. And, I can't ask you do that either."

"So you understand why we have to do this?" Steve asked, realizing how much he needed to hear that from his wife.

"Yes, I do," Kayla said. "You're a good man, Steve. And I'm proud of you for wanting to fight for us, for our family, and to keep all of us safe. I can't promise to stop being scared of what might happen. But I can promise that I'll try to support you in any way I can."

Steve's heart swelled with love at Kayla's words. "Thank you, Sweetness. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that." He pulled her to him and nestled her against his chest. "I know I can't take all your fears away, but just remember that Shane and John and I've been through a lot of scrapes together. We'll get through this one too."

Instead of answering, Kayla turned and lay back on the couch, pulling Steve with her. Then she kissed him, deeply and passionately. When they broke the kiss, Steve looked down at his wife, swimming in the love and desire he saw in her eyes.

She reached her hand behind his head, preparing to draw him down to her lips yet again. "You better get through this one, Mr. Johnson. But, just to be safe, maybe I should give you a reminder of what you have waiting here at home."

Steve smiled and kissed his wife with every ounce of love he held in his heart. As their hands worked quickly to remove their clothing, Steve knew that nothing was going to stop him from keeping his promises to Kayla. Not even Lawrence Alamain.


	469. Chapter 469

"You're not playing fair," Kim said, giggling as Shane nuzzled her neck. "That's not - Oh!"

Shane had to chuckle as he caught Kim's reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was still wet from her shower and a few tendrils clung to her cheeks, which were growing increasingly red as Shane's hands ran over her bare shoulders to the towel she had wrapped around herself.

"Methinks the lady doth like this," he whispered in her ear. The towel fell to the floor as he pressed against her.

"Methinks she does," Kim whimpered. "But. . . Shane, I'm already late. If I don't finished getting dressed- ohhhh. . . ."

Her words dissolving into an unintelligible moan as Shane whispered, "Don't finish getting dressed."

"I can't," Kim groaned, even as Shane could hear her breath quicken and see in the mirror how her eyes glazed over. She closed them, bit her lip, and then pulled herself forward. "I can't," she repeated.

"You know you don't want to leave," Shane said.

"Stop," Kim said, plainly willing herself to overcome her desire. "Don't . . . don't tempt me."

Grinning wickedly into the mirror, Shane pressed even closer against her. "There's nothing wrong with a little temptation."

He thought Kim's desire was winning the war, but then she groaned loudly and slipped out of his grasp. She turned to face him. "There is when you've got a meeting with the hospital chief of staff-"

"Neil won't mind," Shane said, reaching out and grasping her arms.

"It's also with a major potential donor to the clinic," Kim replied.

Shane could tell that her frustration was closely mirroring her own. "What if you were just a little late?" he teased.

Kim's eyes narrowed. "I don't think 'just a little' applies. We'd make love here, and then I'd need another shower, which I'm sure you'd insist on joining me for. And who knows where that would lead. Next thing we'd know, I've left Neil and the donor waiting for a couple of hours."

"That sounds almost too perfect," Shane groaned in frustration.

She shook her head and, in a voice more forceful than before, said, "We have to stop. As much as I'd love to stay, I can't. How about a rain-check?"

Disappointed, Shane just nodded, though he still held Kim's arms. "I guess a rain-check it is."

Kim gave him a wicked grin. "I'll make it worth your while. Besides, don't you have therapy today."

"Not until later," Shane said. "John's coming over-" He stopped abruptly when he felt Kim tense. She tried to cover up a scowl, but it took a minute for her to succeed.

"I'm sorry," Kim said quietly. "I know I said I wouldn't fight you, but I can't help how I feel."

Shane understood she was trying. Since the morning Steve had come to the house, Kim had done little directly to deter Shane from his plan to track down Lawrence. She had been supportive and loving, in many ways, showing him that she was willing to trust him and their love.

"I know you're worried," he said. "And I love you for worrying. But nothing is going to happen."

Kim nodded. "I know I have to trust you. I have to have faith that this will work. . . ." She paused. "So have you decided to let John and Steve help you."

Now it was Shane's turn to hesitate. At some level, he knew he was still weak. John and Steve could help immensely, but, at the same time, he hated the idea of having them risk their lives for him. Steve, especially. Shane had brought Steve home; he did not want the past several months to be for naught.

"Shane?" Kim prodded. "You are going to let them help you, aren't you?"

"I'll discuss it with them," Shane finally said. That was a noncommittal answer, and he could see the look of doubt in Kim's eyes.

She did not confront him. "Okay. . . . I've got to finish getting ready, and so do you if John's coming over."

"As long as I have that rain-check," Shane said, trying to return to the lighter, teasing tone of earlier.

Kim smiled slightly, but the smile did not fully reach her eyes. "Tonight . . . or this afternoon, if I can sneak out early. Just don't push yourself too hard in physical therapy."

With a saucy grin, Shane teased, "Trust me. I'll save my strength. Your kind of physical therapy is far more fun."

Groaning slightly, Kim shook her head, reached down to retrieve her towel, and headed out of the bathroom. She had left by the time Shane finished showering and dressing. He made it downstairs just in time for the doorbell to ring and for Simmons to let John into the house.

"Morning, partner," John said. He made a beeline to the library, while Shane asked Simmons to bring some coffee. Reading John's tone and body language, Shane could tell his friend had news.

Following John into the library, Shane asked, "So what do you have?"

"Mauritius is done," John said. "Larry's packed up shop."

"What do you mean?" Shane had no reason to doubt John's sources, but he needed specifics

John leaned against Shane's desk. "They blew up the entire complex. The ISA's searching the site, but there are no survivors and pretty much no evidence of what they were doing there."

_So it's starting_, Shane thought. Unless he had reason to believe he was about to be raided - and there was no reason to believe the ISA was about to raid the Mauritius site - Lawrence would not have destroyed his research facility if he planned further testing. Shane looked at John. "So your sources think he's on his way to Salem?"

"Yeah," John said. "Word is that Alamain's right-hand man, Ivan Marais, is making hiring calls. He put out the word that he needs some technicians from around Europe. 'Willing to travel.'"

"To Salem, obviously," Shane said. John's nodded in agreement. "So what kind of technicians is he hiring?"

"Computer mainly," John said. "And security design."

Shane pursed his lips as he thought. "Any details about the work? Or where it will happen?"

John shook his head. "Nope. He's keeping it pretty hush hush on details."

"But we know something." Shane thought a bit. "Maybe we can find out where they're hiring."

"No. All the hiring's going on through back channels," John said. "The ISA only caught the little bit from a bug, but it was found right after. The ISA had an agent inside the Mauritius operation, but it looks like they got found out." He lowered his voice. "After that, Alamain went all out searching for bugs."

Shane knew what John was not saying. If the ISA's agent had been caught, he or she was almost certainly dead. Lawrence would eliminate that threat. The man had no compunction or hesitancy about killing.

Simmons chose that moment to arrive with the coffee and Shane busied himself fixing a cup as he thought about what could happen if they went up against Lawrence and failed. He glanced sideways at John, who had walked over to the coffee service and was pouring himself a cup.

"John. . . ."

"Don't even say it, partner," John replied. "I'm not sitting this out. I'm not leaving you to go after Lawrence on your own."

Shane sighed. "You realize what could happen?"

"Of course, I do," John said. "I've been around the block a few times, pal. I'm not going to run from a fight because I'm afraid of what might happen. And before you say it, I . . . I know what I could lose."

Something seemed to flash in John's eyes. From that look and the way John had hesitated, Shane sensed that something was amiss.

"Is something going on?" Shane asked. "With Roman?"

"No," John answered. "At least, nothing new on that front."

Shane pressed. "Then is there a problem with Isabella?"

"Not at all," John said, almost too quickly. He must have spotted Shane's raised eyebrow. "I swear. Izzy B's fine."

Despite his suspicions, Shane decided not to push further. He could tell that, whatever John was holding back, there was little point. John was a master at keeping secrets. When the time was right - if John was keeping something back - he would tell Shane.

Shane also knew he could rely upon John. So that left only one question. "I know I can't keep you out of this," Shane said. "Steve wants to help also."

"Steve?" John raised an eyebrow. "What does he know?"

"A surprising amount, actually." Shane had thought about all the details Steve revealed. "He knows about the toxin-" Shane stopped short, just before revealing that Lawrence had tested it on Steve. If Steve chose to reveal that to John, he could. Shane would keep that confidence. "He knows about the ISA research and the stockpile of antidote, and he knows Lawrence is in Mauritius."

John seemed impressed. "Sounds like he has good sources."

"And he knows what we're planning," Shane added.

"How?" John was clearly surprised.

Shane grimaced. "He overheard us on the pier on Thanksgiving."

John rolled his eyes. "Sorry, partner. . . . Guess I was a bit distracted."

"Obviously, neither of us is at the top of our game." Shane hated to admit that, but it was embarrassing that they had let Steve sneak up on them like that. With a sigh, Shane said, "I just don't know what to say. Bringing him out of that camp created this whole bloody mess I'm in. I don't want the only way to get out of it to be to put Steve back in harm's way."

"Don't you think that should be Steve's call?" John asked. He followed that with a knowing look.

Shane was not willing to agree so easily. "We both know what that call will be," Shane said. "You know Steve-"

"I do," John replied. "I know he'll go to bat for us, he'll have our backs, and he won't give up when things get tough. He's someone we can trust, Shane."

"And what about Kayla and Stephanie?" Shane argued.

John shrugged. "What about Kim and your kids? Or Isabella and . . . I mean, why's it any different for Steve than for us? Hell, partner, Steve has more reason than we do to go after Lawrence. It's Steve who was nearly killed and then taken from his family. If anyone has a right to be involved in this, it's Steve."

Shane knew John was talking sense, but he still hesitated.

"Look," John said. "We both know Steve will go after Alamain, no matter what we say to him. You already said he knows a lot. The three of us working together will go a lot farther than going after him separately."

Shane turned away and walked toward the library window. "I don't want to have to be the one to tell Kayla that Steve died trying to stop Lawrence."

"And he won't want to be the one to tell Kim the same thing about you," John said. "So let's work together so none of us ever have to do that."

Shane sighed. John was right. "Okay. We bring Steve into this investigation." Shane stopped and shook his head. He still thought put things in ISA terminology. "I mean we bring Steve in to help. The only thing is I'm not sure what he can do."

"For one, he can keep an eye on the docks," John pointed out. "He's got better contacts there than you and me could dream of."

That was true. Shane reminded himself that it was Steve's contact who led them to finding Kim and Kayla.

"I just wish there was more we knew," John said. "I'm sure the ISA has more information."

"The trouble is that we don't have access to it." Shane shared John's frustration. The ISA computers would have reports from all of the Alamain-related teams, not just John's sources in Mauritius. "If only we had a way to get into the ISA network."

"Good luck with that," John muttered, looking down at the floor.

Shane concurred. Since the ISA had stripped his communications room, the only ISA computers he knew about were in the Salem field office or D.C. headquarters. Not exactly readily accessible.

_It's a fool's errand_, Shane said to himself.

Even if they could get to the computers, they would need a password. The ISA must have purged Shane's password by now.

_It's impossible._

From his spot by the desk, John looked up and over at Shane. Their eyes met and John's lips curled into a sly grin.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking, aren't you, partner?"

Shane could not stop himself from rolling his eyes and sighing. "Why the bloody hell not? What can they do? Send me to jail for espionage?"


	470. Chapter 470

"Be careful, you imbecile," Lawrence snapped as one of the men almost dropped a box. All of the equipment was vital to the success of Lawrence's plan, and he could not risk having it dashed by some lumbering, untrained oaf.

"Are you sure about this?" Ivan whispered. "We could hire some dock-workers."

Lawrence eyed his subordinate. "No, we could not," he said almost under his breath.

Salem dock-workers might talk. These workers had been hired from shelters in Chicago. They might not know much about carrying equipment, but they were disposable and would not be missed.

Staring around the control room, Lawrence studied the placement of the monitors. From this one room, a single man could monitor the entire exterior and direct the unit that Lawrence planned to hire. He had considered bringing in a unit from Alamainia, knowing their loyalty to the Alamain family would prove a good defense if necessary, but in Lawrence's plan, secrecy was paramount. A team from Alamainia would raise questions and questions threatened exposure. The men Lawrence intended to hire came from local organized crime organizations. They would not hesitate to do whatever might be necessary, but they also would have no idea of exactly what they were guarding.

Ivan punched a few buttons on the computer and the image on the main screen changed.

"No," Lawrence barked as he saw the image. "Those fools are setting it up wrong."

Stalking out of the control room, Ivan close behind him, Lawrence quickly moved down a narrow hallway that opened into a larger room. It had once been planned as a secure bunker in event a tornado threatened the area. Now it was a cavernous space. Along the far wall was a row of shelves and work tables that Dr. Schreiner and his assistant were using - perfecting the toxin, Lawrence assumed. He did not approach the scientist, though. Lawrence's main focus was on the large structure in the center of the room.

It was a cylinder, with a 10-foot radius that rose to just below the ceiling. The clear walls were made of a non-permeable alloy. A technician was carefully fitting another sheet of the alloy in a break in the cylinder.

"Are you sure this is necessary, sir?" Ivan asked.

"Of course," Lawrence replied. "I would not have had them build it if I did not believe it necessary." Seeing that work on the cylinder was proceeding appropriately, Lawrence turned to the two technicians who were wiring the cameras. That was what he had seen from the control room.

He stormed over to them. "What do you think you are doing?"

One of the technicians turned, his faee showing an utterly moronic expression of a man with a low IQ. It hardly should have surprised Lawrence.

"We were just setting up the cameras," the man said.

"Just setting up the cameras?" Lawrence repeated. He pointed at the cylinder. "Do you see that? The cameras are to be pointed in that direction. What purpose does it serve if it is directed at the doors?"

The technician looked at his colleague. "But, sir, the camera can be controlled via remote."

_Moron_!Lawrence thought. "Yes, but who will control the camera? I certainly will not be in a position to control the camera. I am the star in this show. Don't you see? This will be a cinematic spectacle. A triumph. But I cannot be the star and the cinematographer at the same time." He glared at the technicians. "Fix it."

The technician seemed to quake. _Good_, Lawrence thought. _He will do as instructed now._ To think that all of Lawrence's plans might have fallen apart because some idiot could not place a camera properly.

Ivan stopped the technician from responding. "You will do as commanded," he instructed.

Shaking his head, Lawrence left the technicians to face Ivan's ire and walked toward the men finalizing the door to the cylinder. Closer, he could see the seals that would prevent escape. He could picture it now. Lawrence standing there, triumphant, holding two sets of fates in his hands.

"_Your choice_," he would say, knowing there was no actual choice involved.

He could hear the man begging as he tried to find a means of escape. But there would be none. He would collapse in a choking, convulsing heap, crying out in pain - the entire scene recorded to be shown to Lawrence's potential buyers. A close-up of death coming to a man for whom it was long overdue. Justice for Leopold Alamain.

And, then, once he had his record of the toxin's effectiveness on a single man, Lawrence would bring the world to its knees.

_Salem will weep. The world will tremble._

Ivan must have finished with the technicians, because he suddenly appeared beside Lawrence. "The cameras will be as you directed."

"Of course, they will," Lawrence said. "This will be my crowning moment, Ivan. Everything must proceed exactly as planned."

"Are you certain about the security, sir?"

Lawrence knew Ivan had his objections, but the grand finale of this adventure required Lawrence to be the centerpiece. Security would take away the impact.

"We could place them outside of camera view," Ivan insisted.

"For what purpose, Ivan?" Lawrence turned to his lackey. "Once we have Donovan in place, there will be no need for security inside. They will be needed on the periphery to prevent any possible interference from the local authorities and, in the off chance it becomes necessary, to ensure our escape. I am fully capable of handling Donovan."

Ivan seemed unconvinced. "I could assist you."

"No." Lawrence smiled. "You must ensure that the target is properly set. Should anything go wrong with the radio frequency, you must personally see that the toxin is released. We cannot miss this opportunity."

Ivan nodded. "Very well, sir."

Lawrence caught site of one of the formerly homeless men lugging some more boxes into the large room. In a low voice, he whispered, "Is the bus ready?"

"Yes, sir."

_Good_, Lawrence thought. Once the cargo was completely unloaded, Lawrence had a bus ready to transport the men back to Chicago.

_Only they'll never make it there, will they_?

Of course not. Ivan had planted an incendiary device on the bus. When it exploded somewhere three hours west of Salem, it would appear to investigators to be the result of a faulty gas tank. There would be no survivors.

Lawrence glanced again at the cameras, which were now aimed in the appropriate directions. It was almost a shame that he could not film the bus explosion. But c'est la vie. The bus was just a distraction, cinematic though it might be.

The far more important show was still a few days away.


	471. Chapter 471

Kayla stretched and slowly opened her eyes. A quick glance on the clock told her it was just after 8:00 a.m. She was somewhat surprised she had slept that late, but she figured her body needed the rest after readjusting to twelve-hour shifts at the Trauma Center.

Thanks to Neil, the transition to the Trauma Center had gone seamlessly. Kayla was now working three twelve hour shifts, 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., per week. Neil had also arranged for Kayla to be placed in the position of charge nurse for her shifts. That meant a salary commensurate with what she had made in the lab.

It also meant a little extra paperwork and, even though this was her day off, Kayla knew she would need to go in for a couple of hours to finish the paperwork from her last shift. There had been a multi-car accident the previous afternoon caused by the icy winter roads and Kayla had decided to complete the paperwork today rather than miss dinner with her family.

But just because she had to go in for a little while didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the morning. Rolling over, Kayla snuggled up next to Steve and softly kissed his chest. She smiled as his arms automatically circled around her and he held her close.

She lay still for a moment, content to listen to his deep breathing and steady heartbeat. But it was not long before her body began to assert its own ideas. Gently, her hand stroked his strong, muscled chest. Kayla shifted slightly so that she could reach more of his chest with her lips, and her leg intertwined with his.

Her actions had the desired effect, as she felt her husband begin to stir. His hands moved slowly up and down her back and she heard him moan as her hand slipped lower. Raising her head, she saw him staring at her with a half-lidded eye.

"Did I wake you?" Kayla asked innocently, as her hand continued to massage him.

"Baby, that's the best kind of wake-up call there is," Steve said, closing his eye and emitting another moan.

"I'm glad you think so." Kayla slid her body so that she could find Steve's lips. "Because I'd hate to think I'd lost my touch."

"You could never lose your touch, Sweetness," Steve huffed just before he kissed her. The kiss was slow, and deep, each taking their time as they tasted each other.

Suddenly, Kayla felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She sat up quickly, taking deep breaths, trying to control it.

"Baby?" Steve's voice held a note of concern. "Are you okay?"

Kayla took another deep breath, feeling the wave pass by. Then she nodded. "I think so. I just didn't feel so good there for a second."

"I guess I need to work on my good morning kisses."

Kayla leaned back down and kissed him again. "There is nothing wrong with your kisses, morning or otherwise." Her hand resumed it's slow strokes below the sheet as she whispered. "Now, where were we?"

"Right about here." Steve's lips crashed onto hers again. Then they began the slow journey down her jaw and neck, finding the spot that never failed to drive her crazy.

Kayla could feel her body reacting to his lips and to his hands which were now fondling her breasts. She closed her eyes, reveling in the emotions and feelings that flowed through her body.

Suddenly, her eyes popped open again as another wave of nausea hit. Kayla knew instantly that this one was not going to pass. Without a word, she pushed away from Steve, rolled off the bed, and ran for the bathroom.

She made it to the toilet just as her stomach emptied its contents. She vaguely heard Steve talking to her as she continued retching. When she was finished, she leaned her head against the rim, trying to catch her breath.

"You okay, baby?" Steve asked, as he knelt down beside her. He ran a cool cloth across her forehead and the back of her neck.

"Just peachy," Kayla replied, trying to decide if she was finished, or if this was just a rest period between rounds.

Steve chuckled at her response. "Sorry, I guess that was a stupid question." He placed his hand on her forehead. "It doesn't feel like you have a fever."

Kayla took a deep breath and raised her head. She sat back on the bathroom floor and leaned against the tub. "It's flu season, but I don't have any other symptoms, so I don't think that's it." She shrugged. "Maybe something I ate last night just didn't agree with me."

Steve brushed the hair away from Kayla face and palmed her cheek. "You're going to blame my cooking for this?" he asked teasingly.

Kayla remained silent for a moment. There was a little voice in the back of her head that was ready to offer another suggestion, but she was not ready to listen to it just yet. Just because she had been tired for a few days and had been nauseous a couple of mornings did not mean anything. It probably was just the flu.

"Sweetness?" Steve prompted. "Maybe we should have Marcus take a look at you or something."

Kayla shook her head. "I really don't think that's necessary. I feel better already. Like I said, it was probably just something disagreeing with my stomach."

Steve stared at her for a moment, the concern clear in his eye. The he sighed and said, "Okay, if you're sure. But I think we should get you back into bed and let you rest."

Kayla stood and walked to the sink. She ran the washcloth over her face and brushed her teeth, trying to get the rancid taste out of her mouth. Already, she was feeling 100 percent better.

She turned and faced her husband. Until now, she had forgotten he was naked, clearly having rushed from the bed to help her. His state of undress reminded her of what they had been about to do before her stomach had rebelled. She couldn't help but giggle.

Steve raised his eyebrow at her giggles. "Between you running to the bathroom when I'm trying to make love to you and giggling at me standing here naked, you're being kind of hard on the male ego this morning."

Kayla laughed harder and threw her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, baby. I was just imagining how awful I must have looked bolting away from you like that. Especially when I was the one who woke you up this morning."

Steve joined in Kayla's laughter and wrapped his arms around her. "I'll forgive you this time, but don't go making a habit of this, okay? I think I stripped a couple of gears going from 100 to 0 that quickly."

Kayla light slapped his chest. "Poor baby. I promise I'll make it up to you." She guided him out of the bathroom and towards the bed. "As a matter of fact, I have a little time right now."

Before Steve could respond, the baby monitor crackled with the sounds of Stephanie calling for her parents. Steve chuckled and offered a wry grin. "Apparently both my girls are conspiring against me this morning."

He kissed Kayla's forehead and then reached for his sweatpants hanging on the chair by the vanity. "I'll go get our daughter and get her breakfast started. Why don't you go back to bed for a little while? I want to make sure you're not sick."

Kayla shook her head and grabbed her robe. "I'm fine. I promise. You go get Stephanie and I'll get started on breakfast."

They left the room together and Steve kissed Kayla's cheek as he stopped in front of Stephanie's room. "You sure you're up for cooking?"

Kayla smiled broadly. "Absolutely. I hope you are hungry because I feel a big breakfast coming on. For some strange reason, I'm suddenly starving."


	472. Chapter 472

Steve leaned low in his car seat and did his best to keep out of sight of the people entering and exiting the ISA field office. He had a hooded sweatshirt under his leather jacket and he had pulled the hood up so that it covered his hair and concealed his eye-patch. Enough ISA agents in Salem knew Steve and would recognize him on sight.

He wondered if John or Shane should be doing this surveillance, but then shook his head. They had even more connections with the ISA than Steve. Silently, he had to agree with Shane that this surveillance job was probably best done by Steve.

Still, Steve would have preferred to be with Kayla. Although she had seemed to recover from her illness by the time she left the apartment for the Trauma Center, he still wanted to make sure she was all right. He had called her four times during the day until finally, exasperated at him, Kayla had said she loved him, but she really did not need a nanny. Knowing not to push, Steve had called Shane and agreed to complete the surveillance that afternoon.

Actually, it had been a surprise when Shane and John had called Steve a few days earlier and told him that he they would let him work with them. Steve had expected more push-back - from Shane especially - but they seemed open to his help.

Of course, Shane had laid down some ground rules. _Follow my orders_. _Stick to the plan. Don't go off half-cocked. _All typically Donovan-type instructions. And he had made Steve swear he would do as he was told.

Still, Steve had to grudgingly admire Shane's plan. Breaking into the ISA field office took balls, and it had come as a surprise to hear that Shane had done it before - at the D.C. headquarters. He and John had watched as Shane diagrammed the field office, outlined their entrance and exit strategy, and even provided details on the ISA's interior security.

"_There's just one problem,_" Shane had said. "_We still need a password to access the ISA computer._"

They had spent a couple of days going through some options. Roman might have access to the ISA computers, but Shane was convinced his clearance was not high enough to give them everything the ISA had on Lawrence Alamain. They also debated using a password from Shane's old partner, Miss Peach. He knew her password from when they had worked together and figured that, even if she had changed it, he could guess what she would have used. The flaw in that strategy was that she was deep undercover somewhere; if the ISA computer in Salem was accessed with her name and password, it would trigger alarms.

"_No_," Shane said. "_We need to get the field director's password_."

The only question was how. John had snuck into the man's house the night before to search for something that might give them a clue, but had come up empty. Shane had racked his brain for all the information he could recall on the field director, but ultimately said he would only be guessing.

So that left it up to Steve, who had been tasked with following the man in the hope they could find a weakness. According to Shane, the field director - a guy named Benson - was a stuffed shirt. He was a pencil-pusher, who had never actually been out in the field and who would fold under pressure.

That made the job seem easy to Steve. "_So we just take him_ _into an alley and beat on him until he gives us his password._" At Shane's scowl, Steve rolled his eyes. "_Now you're going to be all noble about some guy who's helped frame you? Seriously, dude, you're trial's in two weeks."_

_"I'm not going to assault the man_," Shane had said.

"_You had no problem rousting me for information way back when_," Steve shot back.

Shane had shaken his head. "_You were a punk working for drug dealers who tried to kill Pete and Melissa, and I thought you'd done something nefarious to Bo and Hope. Benson's a spineless toad, but he's not a criminal._"

The reminder of his life before Kayla had silenced Steve, but John had frowned slightly. "_It may come to that, partner. We don't have much time._"

None of them spoke for awhile. Shane had pursed his lips and looked down at the floor, apparently deep in thought. John had shifted impatiently from side to side. Steve had wanted to argue that they couldn't let Alamain drop his toxin on Salem because Shane wanted to be noble, but before he could say anything, Shane looked up at them.

"_I've got an idea. We won't beat him, but we'll make him think we're that desperate._" Shane had then explained how he had scared Johnny Corelli into revealing where Ernesto Toscano's secret hideout in Italy was. Steve actually had been impressed. Dangling the dude over the Salem River in the tunnels beneath Wings and making him think he was about to suffer a fatal drop into the river had been a stroke of genius. It worked on Corelli; it could make Benson break.

"_So we just nab this Benson guy and drag him to the tunnels_?" Steve asked. "_Seems easy enough_."

Except they needed a way to get to the tunnels. The easiest access to the tunnels was Wings, but it closed late and they could hardly drag the field director through a crowded restaurant. So Shane had made arrangements with Julie Williams to let them into the restaurant after hours - "no questions asked" - and Steve had been dispatched to track Benson after work so they could take him later in the night.

"Speak of the devil," Steve said aloud. Across the street, stepping out of door of the ISA field office to the parking lot was the field director.

Steve waited patiently for the man to climb into his Buick. As he pulled out of the lot, Steve started his car and began to follow a discrete distance behind. They traveled for a few blocks and, then, to Steve's surprise, the Buick did not turn in the direction of the field director's house, but instead veered at a fork in the road toward the outskirts of Salem.

_Maybe he suspects he's being followed_, Steve thought, but he had no choice to turn the same direction. He could see the Buick in the distance, now two blocks ahead. Steve hit the accelerator to close the distance, but still kept a block behind his quarry.

The Buick turned down the road toward the Salem airport. _Where's he going_? Steve had not seen any luggage and John had not mentioned seeing any sign of the man going on a trip. But if he was, that could doom their only chance of getting a password.

Steve couldn't let that happen. If he had to take the man out on his own, he would. In his mind, he started to form a plan, but then stopped. He had promised Shane he would not go off on his own and would do as ordered. His instinct told him to jump, but he had given his word.

"Damn it, Donovan," Steve muttered under his breath. He hit the steering wheel in frustration, but forced himself to go against his instincts and just continued to follow. If the director got on a plane, this entire plan was dead in the water.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief a few minutes later when Benson drove past the airport entrance, but was then even more baffled. There was nothing down this way except for a few cargo storage places and some cheap airport motels. _What was the man doing out here_?

When the Buick took a sharp turn into the parking lot of the Airport Lodge, Steve got his answer. To avoid detection, he drove past the motel before making a u-turn and doubling-back. He parked across the street and watched Benson check himself in the side-mirror of his car, adjust his tie, and smooth his hair. He was clearly preoccupied and did not notice that he was being watched as he went to the front desk.

He emerged a few minutes later, key in hand, but did not head to one of the doors that ran the length of the motel.

_He's waiting for someone_, Steve said to himself. _But for what_? His mind ran through several scenarios involving ISA corruption.

Steve was still running through some possibilities when a white Ford pulled into the lot and parked next to the Buick. It took a moment, but then Steve got a clear look at the driver.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said aloud, as he watched the woman step out of the car. She shook her shoulder-length, brown hair, pulled her tight leather jacket around her, and stepped carefully, lest her three-inch heels splash mud onto her skin-tight jeans.

Across the street, Rachel Knight gave Benson a come-hither smile. He was the picture of self-delusion as he sauntered toward her. He acted like the cock-of-the-walk, obviously clueless that she was using him. Benson kissed her, then settled his hand on her ass, and steered her to one of the motel room doors.

Once the door closed, Steve turned on the car and gunned the engine. He turned into the parking lot and pulled up in front of a payphone. An instant later, he was on the phone with Shane and John.

Steve quickly gave his report. They did not need any further information to know what Steve was thinking. They all had the same idea.

On the other end of the phone, Steve got his new instructions. "Stay where you are," Shane said. "We'll be there in ten minutes."


	473. Chapter 473

Kim paced slowly around the living room, pausing to look at the picture on the mantel. It was the picture of the whole wedding party from her and Shane's wedding nearly five years prior. Within a day after she and Shane had reconciled, the picture had appeared on the mantel, exactly where it had been before she had left him over a year ago.

She had asked Shane about it, but he had denied putting it back on the mantel. In fact, he had believed that Kim had been responsible. They had chuckled and Shane had decided that it must have been Simmons. He did always like things to be perfectly in order. Kim was less sure, because it seemed out of character for the ever-proper butler to make such an impulsive gesture. But she didn't have any better ideas.

Sighing, Kim picked up the picture and carried it to the couch. She lightly traced her finger down Shane's face. The day she had married Shane had been the happiest day of her life, aside from the births of Andrew and Jeannie. But even those days held a bittersweet edge as both times she had believed that the man she loved with all her heart was not the father of her children.

But their wedding day held nothing but love and joy. It had been too long in coming and despite the sudden, and somewhat chaotic, circumstances that brought the moment about, it had been perfect.

Kim idly wondered if things would ever be that perfect again. She and Shane had finally torn down all the walls they had built between them and were as close - no, closer - than they had ever been. But Kim couldn't help but feel that it was all about to be taken away from them.

Shane's trial was just two weeks away and she was now faced with the choice of watching the man she loved risk his life to bring down Lawrence Alamain or wait for him to be imprisoned for years.

_It isn't fair_, she screamed silently. They had been through so much, not just in the last year, but in the years before their divorce. They deserved a little peace and happiness, didn't they? Or were they being punished for some crime they could not escape.

A noise at the door startled Kim and she looked up to find Eve standing in the doorway. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and smiled.

"Hi, Eve. I didn't realize you were home this evening."

"I'm closing up at Wings tonight, so I don't have to be in for another hour or so," Eve explained, a question in her eyes. "Is something wrong Kimberly? It's not Dad is it?"

Kim quickly shook her head. "No, your father is fine. I guess I'm just feeling a little nostalgic this evening." She held up the picture. "Reliving old memories."

The concern left Eve's face and she offered a small smile as she walked into the room and sat down on the couch next to Kim. She looked at the picture and said, "You look so young. All of you."

Kim chuckled. "I guess we've all been through a lot these last few years."

Eve blushed slightly and looked away. "I didn't mean it that way. I . . . I just-"

"It's okay, Eve," Kim said quickly. "I know what you meant and you're right. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's been almost 5 years. And then sometimes it feels like forever."

"So where is Dad?" Eve asked. "The two of you have been almost inseparable lately."

Kim hesitated before answering. The truth was she did not really know where he was. She had returned home from work that afternoon to find Shane and John holed up in the study. She had stopped in for a brief hello, but it had been obvious that the two of them were preoccupied by something.

Not long after, a call had come in. Shane had offered an apologetic look as he asked Kim to excuse them. Just minutes later, both Shane and John had bolted from the study. Shane had stopped only to offer a brief kiss and to tell her that they had to leave and it might be late when he returned.

Before she could protest, Shane had pressed his fingers to her lips. He kissed her again and promised that it was nothing dangerous, just "some intelligence gathering." Then he was gone.

"Kim?" Eve pressed. "Where is Dad? Are you sure he's okay?"

Kim nodded. "I'm sure he's fine." She hesitated and then decided to be as honest as she could. "He's with John and they are working on something that might help him for his trial. He'll be home later tonight."

Eve stared at Kim for a moment as if deciding whether or not to press further. Then she sighed and said, "Okay. I guess if I need to know more than that, somebody will tell me."

Kim chuckled at the sarcastic edge to Eve's words. The young woman had changed a lot, but she was still Eve. "Don't worry, I feel the same way. It's never fun being on the outside looking in."

"I guess that's what you get for marrying a spy, huh?" Eve pointed to the wedding picture, then got a serious look on her face. "Would you do it all over again, Kim? Knowing everything that's happened, would you have married him back then?"

"In a heartbeat," Kim answered without hesitation. "Yes, we've had more than our fair share of problems and a long road to getting to where we are now. But I'd do every step over again if I had to. If that's what it took to get here, that's what I'd do."

Eve nodded. "You know . . . when I found out that he wasn't going to take the plea deal, I was really angry. I couldn't understand why he would risk a lifetime in prison just to save three years."

"And now?" Kim prompted, wondering where Eve was going with this.

Eve sighed. "Well, I still don't like it and maybe I still don't understand it completely, but I know he's doing it for you, and for Andrew and Jeannie. And I realized that he wouldn't be the father I know if he didn't try and fight it."

Kim smiled and took Eve's hand. "He's doing it for you as well, you know? You're his daughter and he loves you so much. He doesn't want to be separated from you any more than he does from Andrew or Jeannie."

Eve looked away and Kim could see a tear sliding down her cheek. "I don't deserve that kind of loyalty," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I've made so many mistakes and hurt him so badly."

"So have I." Kim placed her hand on Eve's chin and turned her so she was looking at Kim. "But your father has a big heart and he loves us both enough to forgive us. Just as we love him enough to forgive him when he makes mistakes." She smiled at Eve. "That's what love does. That's what family does."

Eve took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. "When Dad was in the hospital, Kayla told me that the only thing keeping me from being a part of this family was me. I didn't want to hear it. I was too busy pretending I didn't want to be a part of it."

"You _are_ a part of it," Kim said firmly.

"I know that now." Eve faced Kim again. "I'm sorry for being so horrible to you when Dad was in the hospital and, well, pretty much ever since I came to Salem. Is there any chance you can give me a second, or third, or maybe fourth chance?"

Kim grinned and put her arms around Eve, pulling her into an embrace. After a second's hesitation, she felt Eve return the embrace. "I'll give you as many chances as it takes as long as you do the same for me," Kim said as they hugged. "Your father is going to need all of us supporting him, and each other."

"Then that's exactly what we'll do." Eve pulled away and stood up. "We'll make sure he knows his family - his whole family - is here for him no matter what."

"That's my girl," Kim agreed, standing up as well. "With a united Donovan family, nothing can defeat us."


	474. Chapter 474

John gave the desk clerk $100 and instructions to enjoy the football game on TV and forget that they were ever there. While he took care of that task, Shane checked the camera and handed it to Steve.

"You know how to use that?" Shane asked.

Steve rolled his eye. "Yeah, like I've forgotten how to take pictures between the set-up we did for Daniels and now?"

"Sorry," Shane said sheepishly. He had forgotten all about that "Of course you do." He looked away and adjusted the sleeves on his black sweater. After this encounter with Benson and Rachel Knight, they would be heading straight to the ISA field office.

"You sure you're okay, dude?"

Shane just nodded, but he did not have to answer because John reappeared.

"We ready?" he asked.

Shane held up his lockpicks. "Everyone knows what they're supposed to do?" When both Steve and John nodded, Shane said, "Okay. No sound until we're inside."

"You got it," Steve said. He looked the camera over and then readied it. "At the rate I'm going, the ISA should get me press credentials."

Together, they snuck silently to the door of room 109. Taking care not to jar the lock and make any noise, Shane slipped the locks into place and felt for the pins. He need not have worried about making noise. The sounds from inside the room were so loud that they could be heard through the door. There was no way the occupants could hear what was happening outside.

"Not exactly sound-proof-" Steve muttered, cutting off abruptly when Shane and John both glared at him. He noiselessly mouthed, "Okay, okay," in response.

The picks now in place, Shane looked at Steve then John and mouthed, "on three." He bobbed his head once, then twice, and, finally, a third time, just as he pulled the top pick, freed the pins, and swung the door open.

Steve rushed by, clicking away furiously with the camera. John followed close behind. Shane put his lockpicks into the small, black bag he was carrying and then entered, closing the door behind him. Despite moving more slowly than the others, he was still inside by the time the couple in bed realized they were no longer alone. Rachel pulled at the sheets to cover herself and began to shriek.

"Uh, huh, little lady," John said. He grabbed her and cupped her mouth, stifling her screams. As she struggled under John's grip, the sheets fell out of her hands, once again exposing herself to the camera.

"What's going-" shouted the field director, but he stopped when Steve shoved him back onto the bed and he recognized Shane. "Donovan, I should have known."

Shane could not stop himself from smirking. "You should have been more careful, actually." He turned to Steve. "Got what we need?"

"Absolutely," Steve said. "I'll either win a Pulitzer or make a mint from Playboy."

The field director's eyes went wide. "You can't. . . . Do you know what this will do to the ISA?"

"Actually, it won't do a thing for the ISA," Shane said. "Your career on the other hand. . . ."

Shane knew that would hit Benson where it hurt. The man cared about little other than advancing his career.

"Please," the man begged. "I-" He was cut off by a yelp from John.

"She bit me," he snapped, pulling his hand from Rachel's mouth.

She glared at him. "You're lucky that's all I did," she snarled. "You won't get away with this. I'll destroy all of you."

"How, lady? With another article about our unsavory pasts?" Steve chuckled. "I think you've exhausted your sources."

"And now we know exactly who that source is," Shane said, slyly grinning at Rachel. "You really will do anything for a story, will you? But then I should've know that from our little meeting in Riyadh." He turned to the field director. "I do hope you keep your waste-bins emptied. Ms. Knight is quite diligent in her snooping."

Rachel sneered. "If you're under the impression that I can't write more about you, Shane, you're wrong."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I don't have that impression at all." Shane turned back to her. "However, I doubt the Boston Globe and whatever other news services you work for will appreciate it being revealed that their ace reporter has to sleep with her potential sources. And I assure you that the photos will be quite revealing."

Rachel continued to sneer, but finally looked away. Shane could tell that she knew they had her over a barrel. "So what do you want from me?" she demanded.

Steve laughed. "What do we want from you?" he said. "Lady, you'd be the runaway winner in an 'all about me' sweepstakes, but, surprise, we don't want anything from you."

"Not yet," Shane corrected. The photographs could come in use down the road. The threat of exposure might prevent Rachel from writing any more of her character-assassination pieces. But for now that was an ancillary benefit of this mission. Focusing on the primary objective, he turned back to Benson. "Give me your username and password for the ISA computers."

The field director shook his head. "I can't do that."

"Of course you can, pal." John leaned close and gave a threatening stare. "All you do is tell us your username and password, and then we can be on our way."

"If they found out I gave you my password, my career would be over," Benson said.

Steve rolled his eye. "And it won't be over when they find out you've been sleeping with a reporter - a reporter who just happens to be publishing story after story with quotes from anonymous ISA sources?"

"Of course, it will be," Shane said, answering Steve's question. "One look at these pictures and the ISA will know exactly who Ms. Knight's source happened to be." The terrified look on Benson's face was quite amusing. As Shane had predicted, the man folded easily. Crossing his arms and letting his amusement show, Shane explained Benson's options. "Now, you have two choices. Either you don't give us what we want, we release these photographs to the press, and the net result is that both of your careers are destroyed."

"Or?" Rachel asked.

"Or Benson gives us his username and password, we do what we need to do with that information without being detected by the ISA, and nobody ever has to know about your little indiscretion." Shane looked at Benson. "So which will it be?"

Benson glared some more. "What's to stop me from calling the ISA the minute I give you the password."

"Nothing, other than the fact that they will almost certainly want to know the circumstances under which I obtained the password." Shane chuckled. "Which will have the same result as your first choice. Oh . . . I forgot to mention that if you don't give us the password voluntarily, we will obtain it through other means."

Steve smiled cruelly. "You really don't want to see what those are."

Through gritted teeth, Rachel said to Benson, "Tell them."

Benson seemed to hesitate, but he finally relented and gave them a series of numbers that Shane suspected corresponded to the date of Benson's promotion to Salem field director. That was hardly a surprise.

"So are you going to let us go now?" Rachel asked.

Shane reached into his black bag and pulled out two pairs of handcuffs. He tossed one to John and one to Steve.

"You can't," Benson said, his eyes going wide. "What if someone-"

"Finds you, pal?" John chuckled as he ignored Rachel's struggles and pulled her hands behind her. "Don't worry. They'll just assume this is your way of having fun."

"It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?" Steve joked. He shut one cuff closed around Benson's right wrist, strung it through a gap in the bed frame, and then snapped the second cuff shut on Benson's left wrist. Finishing that, he looked up at Shane. "You got the rest?"

Shane nodded and rooted through the bag again to produce two gags. He tossed them to Steve and John.

"No!" Rachel shouted, but John stuffed the gag into her mouth before she could say anything else.

"Thanks," John said lightly. "Opening wide made that a lot easier." Rachel's response was a few unintelligible grunts. "You know," John added. "I think I like her better this way."

Shane had to laugh a little. Meanwhile, Steve was trying to get Benson's gag in place.

"You won't get away with this, Donovan," Benson said bitterly. "When Tarrington hears about this . . . blackmail, I - mmmmpphhh." The gag finally silenced him.

"This isn't blackmail. It's leverage," Shane replied. "And you won't tell Tarrington a thing. Not if you value your job like I think you do." He looked at John and Steve, who both nodded, signaling they were done. "Now, you just hang tight, mate. We have a spot of business to take care of, but we'll be back to let you go in a few hours. At least, you'd better hope we're back in a few hours seeing as if we get caught, we may have to explain how we accessed the ISA computers."

The two sets of angry eyes glaring back at him were all the response he got. Shane turned toward the door and started heading back to the car. Behind him, Steve apparently could not resist one last jibe.

"You take it easy, you crazy kids," Steve said. "This kinky stuff . . . it does seem to get out of hand, doesn't it?"


	475. Chapter 475

Kim knocked lightly on the door to Steve and Kayla's apartment. With Shane gone, most likely doing something dangerous, she had decided to pay her sister a visit. She had a sneaking suspicion that Kayla might need some company as well.

After a few moments, the door opened and Kayla smiled in surprise. "Kim! What are you doing here?"

Kim returned the smile and walked into the apartment as Kayla held the door then closed it behind them. "Well, I didn't feel like rambling around that big, empty house by myself tonight, so I thought I'd come bug my baby sister."

"I'm glad you did," Kayla said, hugging Kim.

Stephanie was sitting on the living room floor, playing with her toys. She smiled up at Kim and pointed saying something that sounded close to "Aunt Kim." Kim smiled at her niece, leaned down, and kissed Stephanie's cheek.

"I can't believe how big she's getting," Kim said as she stood back up. Then she looked around. "I take it Steve's not here?"

Kayla shook her head. "I was hoping he was at your house, but obviously that's not the case."

"He didn't tell you where he was going?" Kim asked, surprised. She took off her coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door.

"I didn't talk to him." Kayla walked to the couch and sat down. "I had to go to the hospital for a few hours this afternoon to take care of some paperwork. Steve called and left a message for me there. He said he had to go meet with Shane and John, and he didn't know what time he would be home."

Kim followed Kayla to the couch and sat down beside her. "When I got home, Shane and John were there, but I never saw Steve. Then they left in a hurry after Shane got a phone call."

Kayla sighed. "What do you want to bet the call was from Steve?"

"I'm sure you're right," Kim agreed. "Which means the men we love are off doing something we probably don't want to know about."

"And that something probably has everything to do with Lawrence Alamain." Kayla finished Kim's thought. "You don't know how much I wish I had never heard that name."

"Oh, I think I do," Kim countered. "It's exactly as much as I wish the same thing."

Kayla looked at Stephanie playing for a moment. "Look at that little girl. She doesn't have a care in the world. I don't remember the last time I felt that way."

Kim couldn't disagree with her sister. But she had to believe that they would all find that peace again someday. "Come on, Kay," she finally said. "You were always the optimistic one in the family. We'll get through this challenge just like we've gotten through all of them."

Kayla looked at Kim curiously. "You really believe that, don't you?"

Kim offered a wan smile. "I don't have any choice. I finally got my family back together. . . . I have to believe it's not going to be split up again."

"I wish I could find that faith. It's just so hard to sit here and wonder what might be happening with Steve . . . and Shane and John, too."

Kim chuckled quietly. "I remember a time not that long ago that neither one of us would have been waiting to find out. We'd have been out there looking for them." She looked at Kayla. "What happened to those Brady sisters?"

Kim returned the chuckle and pointed at the Stephanie playing on the living room floor. "That's what happened. We got married and had kids."

"It does change things, doesn't it?"

"It changes everything." Kayla leaned back on the couch, seemingly lost in thought. "After we thought Steve died, I was so consumed with anger - and a desire to see Alamain pay - that I lost sight of my real responsibility."

"What do you mean, Kay?"

Kayla looked down for a moment before answering. "When Shane figured out that Lawrence was behind Steve's death, I insisted on going to Lawrence's country with him. I left my baby girl here and traveled halfway around the world. I was determined to see Lawrence pay for what he had done."

"You were hurt and angry, just as you had every right to be," Kim said. "Anybody would have done the same thing."

"Maybe. . . ." Kayla shrugged. "But all I got for my efforts was to find myself trapped in caved in tunnels under Alamain's house. And when we were down there, wondering when or if we would get out, I realized what a fool I'd been." Kayla looked at Stephanie again. "I could have been killed and that would have left my baby girl without her father and without her mother. As much as I wanted to see Lawrence pay, Stephanie should have been my priority."

Kim leaned over and put her arm around Kayla's shoulders. "I think you're being a little hard on yourself. . . . We're all just human. You didn't know what kind of danger might be lurking in Alamain's country." Kim thought about her own past. "Lord knows, I've taken some chances that could have ended badly. But it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of my children."

"Of course not," Kayla said quickly. "I didn't mean that." She sighed. "I guess I'm just realizing that it was a lot easier to go running off on adventures before. Not just because of being a mother, but because I never really believed anything bad would happen back then."

"And now?" Kim asked.

"And now, after losing Steve for all those months, I know it can." Kayla took a deep breath. "It's not that I was never afraid before. But it's so different now."

"I do know what you mean," Kim said quietly. It was hard not to picture that airplane hangar and Shane struggling to breathe after being shot. She forced the image away. "But all we can do is 'have a little faith' just like Mama always said."

Kayla nodded. "I think Ma also used to say something about ice cream helping during a crisis. How about we share some?"

Kim laughed. "That sounds perfect."

Kayla stood up and then seemed to stagger slightly, grabbing the arm of the couch.

"Are you okay, Kay?" Kim quickly moved to Kayla's side.

Kayla nodded and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little dizzy for a moment." After a few more seconds, Kayla smiled and headed for the kitchen to get the ice cream.

Kim watched her sister carefully. She was sure there was more going on than Kayla was letting on - and Kim fully intended on finding out exactly what it was.


	476. Chapter 476

With an eye trained on the moving camera, Steve followed Shane and John in a single-file line that hugged the side of the ISA field office. If they stepped out of line, the camera would probably detect them. It was a reminder that this job was a razor's edge. One foot out of place could bring down the entire ISA on them.

_But it's the only way_, Steve told himself and, with Shane and John committed to this job, Steve was not going to let them down.

Steve watched Shane closely as he removed the access panel on the alarm and began toying with the wiring. Despite the cold, December night, the man was sweating heavily, and Steve could tell he was pushing his limits. To John, Steve whispered, "Maybe he should stay back."

"You'll never get to the computer, let alone access it, without me," Shane said. He took a deep breath and then reconnected a couple of wires. They all held their breath, but there was no alarm. "It's clear."

_That's step one_, Steve thought. They still had to evade the interior cameras Shane had described and the ISA agents and security guards who might still be inside. As Steve had found, the spy business was not a 9 to 5 job.

Shane made quick work of the lock and John took a hold of the door. Shane gave them both a look and pulled down on his wool cap, so that it turned into a ski mask that covered his entire face. Steve and John did the same.

John inched the door open and Shane pointed to the hallway cameras. The one facing the interior would be easy to defeat. The problem was the one on the far side. They only had a minute to do this.

As he had been directed, Steve stayed as close behind the door as possible, trying to remain invisible to the far camera. He raised an arm so it was close to the nearby camera. In his hand, he had a Polaroid camera that he positioned just below the security camera. He clicked the button and jerked it back behind the door as it whirred and spit out the first photo.

Shane grabbed it and shook it in his hand as if willing it to develop more quickly. Then, out of his black bag of tricks, he pulled out an L-shaped metal clip and inserted the photo into a slot on the end.

"You've probably got about 30 seconds," Shane said, sliding into the position where Steve had been to take the photo. This time, Shane raised his arm and readied the metal clip. When it snapped into place, the photo would appear directly in front of the camera, giving whoever was on the other end, an image of an empty hallway.

"On three," Shane said. In a whisper, he counted - "One. . . . Two. . . . Three."

Shane raised the first picture, but did not clip it to the camera. Still, it blocked the view from that camera as Steve sprinted for the far end of the hallway. He came to a sharp stop just before slamming into the far doorway, just beneath the camera on that side. Like before, he aimed the Polaroid so that it captured almost the same image as the camera. At that precise moment, Shane jerked back his picture and John pulled the door closed. Again, the Polaroid captured an empty hallway, this time from the inside facing the door.

_Now we just have to pray nobody's watching the interior camera. _If someone was, they would spot Steve.

But it was just for a few seconds. As soon as the Polaroid whirred to life, the back door opened and Shane snapped the clip onto the camera. It took only an instant, and the photo now blocked the view completely.

On the far end, Steve pulled out a clip of his own and repeated the process with the second photo once the image had appeared. As Shane had instructed, Steve jostled the cord on the TV, which Shane said would create snow on the monitor as he clipped the photo into place. To anyone watching, it would appear only as if there was a momentary interruption in the image. With the two photos in place, anyone looking would just seem an empty hallway from both cameras.

Once Steve's photo was fixed, he waved to the door. Shane and John came through in a hurry. As they reached the door where Steve was, Shane coughed once, but quickly covered up the noise.

"You okay?" Steve whispered, only to get a harsh glare in response. "Fine," he muttered, handing the camera back to Shane, who shoved it into his bag.

"Let me take that, partner," John said. Shane started to shake his head, but then stopped and handed the bag over.

_He must be hurting_,Steve thought. They had to get this done fast. He looked at John, whose eyes shared that understanding. Then he looked at Shane and asked, "Ready."

Shane nodded, so Steve opened the door a crack. According to Shane, there were no cameras in this area. The ISA felt the entryway was sufficient. However, there could be guards or ISA agents patrolling the area.

For the moment, though, none appeared to be in sight.

The door opened on a corridor that ran left and right. Steve started to the right, in the direction of the field director's office. John and Shane followed. About 15 feet from the door, Steve stopped as the corridor crossed another hallway. He heard voices to his left.

"Operations Center," Shane whispered. That allowed Steve to visualize Shane's diagram and figure out where the voices were coming from. He peeked around the corner and saw nobody in the hallway.

"Come on," Steve urged. The three men ran across the hallway and continued down the empty corridor. Around the next corner, if Shane's diagram was accurate, would be the field director's office.

They passed a room that Steve recognized - the room where he had been kept during his interrogation - just before they reached the next corner. Once there, Steve stopped and inched his head around the edge.

_Damn._

There was a security guard at the far end, checking the locked doors.

"Company," Steve whispered. There was no audible response, but he felt Shane or John tug at his sweater. Turning he saw it was John. Shane had slipped back to the doorway of the interrogation room. He had kept his lockpicks and quickly opened the door.

Following his lead, Steve and John trotted to the door and slipped inside. John closed the door and Shane used his picks to lock it from the inside. Then, Shane stepped aside to let John place his ear by the door so he could listen for the guard.

Steve just prayed the guard only tested the door and did not decide he needed to do a visual confirmation. Steve also prayed that the guard did not check the hallway with the cameras. If he spotted the photos, they were dead.

Steve glanced over at Shane, who was slumped against the wall, breathing hard. His eyes were shut tight, causing Steve to give John a worried look. They could both tell Shane was not ready for this exertion, but they had no choice, did they?

At the door, John raised an index finger to this lips. Steve could hear the guard's footsteps. An instant later, his breath caught as the doorknob to the interrogation room began to turn.

_Please be locked_, Steve prayed silently.

The knob caught as it could no longer give way. The door was locked. A moment later, Steve heard the footsteps again, this time heading away from the door.

All three men let out their breath. They waited a few more seconds and then John stepped aside so that Shane could reopen the lock. Once that was done, John opened the door and made sure the coast was clear.

As Steve once again took the point, he noticed that John had wrapped an arm around Shane and was helping him to the corner. This time, the hallway was clear, and Steve quickly led them to the door to the field director's office.

"Give me those," Steve said, pointing to Shane's lockpicks. He was surprised to get no argument, no insistence by Shane that he was fine and could do the job. Shane just handed the picks over.

_I may not be ISA trained, but I do know my way around locks_, Steve said to himself. He inserted the picks, found the pins, and tugged them into place. The lock clicked and Steve opened the door for John to help Shane inside. Steve followed, locking the door behind him.

As Shane continued to regain his breath, John found some flashlights in the bag. He handed one to Steve and turned on another. Waving them around, they saw that they were in the ante- with a secretary's desk. The director's office was on the other side.

"This way," Shane said, jerking the ski mask off his face. He took some unsteady steps to the office as the other men followed. He tried the knob, then said, "It's locked."

"I got it," Steve replied. He stepped forward, picked the lock, and opened the door. Flashing hte light inside, he spotted the field director's desk and their target - the computer - sitting on top of it.

Shane and John entered and headed for the computer. Once they were inside, Steve closed the door and flipped on the light. There was little chance that anyone would enter the exterior office and the interior office light would not carry through two closed doors.

As Shane sat down in the director's chair, Steve pulled off his mask, leaned against the door, and took a series of deep breaths. They had made it this far. Now they just had to hope they could find what they were looking for.


	477. Chapter 477

Shane took a moment to gather himself before he turned on the computer. He was out of breath and his entire body was cramping from the effort, but he knew they could not dally. At any moment, someone might discover the tampered cameras or alarm system.

A tiny voice in the back of his head said this was idiocy, but Shane ignored it. He had to do this. This was the only way to find out what the ISA knew about Lawrence.

He wiped the sweat from his brow and nodded when John asked for about the tenth time if he was okay. He was as okay as he could be. Between raiding the motel room and infiltrating the office, Shane was drained, but he had been tired before on missions. He knew how to function even when not at peak condition.

Allowing no further delay, Shane turned on the computer and waited for it to boot up. Once it had, the screen asked for a username and passcode. Shane typed the codes he was given by Benson and waited as they were processed.

***Access Granted***

"We're in," he said. John and Steve both crowded around him.

"So what are we looking for?" John asked.

Shane had opened up the root directory. "The Alamain directory should be in here." And there it was, in the North American subdirectory where it had been when Shane was still in charge of the investigation. "Get the disks out of the bag," he told John. A minute later, a stack of 3.5 inch floppy disks was placed on the desk in front of him.

Scanning the list of files, Shane found the main summary of the investigation. He set it to copy and then began skimming through the reports. As he did, he read off a list of cross-referenced file that John wrote down. They would have to copy those too.

The most recent information in the summary held little that they did not already know from John's and Steve's contacts. Lawrence had been in Mauritius and had destroyed the compound a few days earlier. Reading down, however, Shane caught some new information.

"The ISA got someone into the Mauritius facility," Shane said. "Looks like she smuggled out some videotapes and planted some bugs, but they lost contact with her a few weeks ago."

Neither John nor Steve needed further explanation. They both knew what that meant.

"Son of a bitch," Steve muttered angrily.

John punched the desk once, but stopped himself from doing it a second time. "Are the recordings on file?"

"I think so," Shane said. "At least the audio files. They probably would have just copied the videotapes."

Steve nodded. "We'll look around." He and John proceeded to start rifling through the field director's file cabinets.

Meanwhile, Shane continued to copy the files. He focused on the ones with recent dates and the ones with the numbers John had written down.

"Well, lookey here at what I've found," Steve announced. Shane looked up to see Steve holding a file folder. "Everything you might want to know about John Black's activities since the return of Roman Brady." He held it out to John, who reached for it and then shook his head.

"We don't have time for that," John said, his voice tinged with regret. "Our focus is on Alamain."

Shane felt for his friend. He knew John wanted desperately to know what the ISA was doing to keep tabs on him, but John would not let that be a distraction from the mission at hand.

Switching disks, Shane began copying a number of files that appeared to be audio recordings. "I think I found what the ISA got from its bugs." Unfortunately, the 15 audio files were large and just a few of them would exhaust the capacity of the disks they had brought.

Even more frustrating, Shane could not spot anything that looked to be transcripts of the recordings. Those were probably sitting in a backlog at the ISA's word processing center in D.C.

"Time?" he asked.

Steve stopped rummaging through the file cabinets and glanced at his watch. "Sixteen minutes and 38 seconds," he reported.

Time was running short. Shane had set an outside limit of 25 minutes before someone walked through the exterior hall and spotted the tampered cameras. And even that was pushing it.

Without any time to go through the audio files to determine which were the most useful to copy, Shane had to guess. He randomly selected a few files from each of the available dates, taking a couple of extras from the final dates listed. From the directory, he got the sense that the bugs were only in place for a few days before the ISA operative had been discovered.

"No tapes," Steve said.

John confirmed it. "I don't see any."

"We'll have to live without them." Shane motioned to the filled disks. "Let's start packing up."

John began stuffing the disks into the black bag. A minute later, the final files finished copying.

_Let's hope we got something useful_, Shane said to himself. The would not know for sure until they reviewed the files at his house. He ejected the last disk, handed it to John, and shut down the computer.

Standing was a challenge. Even in the few minutes he had been sitting, his muscles had tightened. He found himself leaning on John while he made sure that his legs would function.

"You sure you're okay, partner?" John asked.

Shane nodded. "I'll be okay." He would. The adrenaline would kick in again as soon as they reached the doors. That would be enough to carry him to the car. He just had to hope there would be no problems getting out of the building.

They turned off the lights and pulled the ski masks back down over their faces. Steve led the way, first through the ante-chamber and then back into the hallway. Shane did his best to keep up, but adrenaline was only carrying him so far. His legs felt like weights. As they reached the first corner, John wrapped an arm around Shane's waist.

"Don't argue with me," he said.

Shane decided instead to conserve his strength for getting out of the building. Steve gave them the all-clear sign and they rounded the corner and began sprinting for the door to the back exit. They had nearly made it when they heard a shout.

"Hey!"

Shane did not look down the hallway where the voice had come from, but he prayed it was an analyst, not an armed security guard.

"Keep going," John said. He was pretty much dragging Shane down the corridor.

Steve reached the door to the exit hallway first and shoved it open. "Forget the cameras," he barked. "Give me the keys. I'll get the car going." John tossed the car keys to Steve, who disappeared from sight.

Behind him, Shane could hear running feet. Too many feet for John to fight off. Shane willed himself to keep going, to give John that extra strength and they moved faster, finally reaching the hallway to the exit. The back door was only 10 feet away.

"Come on," John urged, though it was little more than a grunt.

They ducked down through the door just as a shot rang out. Shane heard the bullet ricochet off the door that slammed shut behind them.

Moving as fast as they could, they raced toward the far door. They could hear the door behind them opening.

_We'll never make it_, Shane thought, but John surged forward and crashed through the back door into the cold night air.

Tires screeched and they were nearly blinded by the headlights from the car.

"Get in," Steve shouted.

John jerked the door open, shoved Shane inside, and leaped in after him. Steve did not wait for the door to close to punch the accelerator, as the car jerked forward, jumped the sidewalk, and screeched out of the lot. Steve turned the car hard to the right, sending Shane and John slammed into each other in the back seat. The car threatened to fishtail as it hit the icy road, but Steve managed to keep it under control. Keeping the engine gunning, the car sped away from the office and into the night.

From the front seat, Steve called out to them. "You okay back there?"

Shane did not have any strength to respond, but John answered for him. "Yeah, we're fine."

"Good," Steve said. "Hey, if Kayla ever asks . . . just tell her we've been 'running errands.'"


	478. Chapter 478

"Ugg," Kayla grunted, leaning back on the couch. "I can't believe we ate all of that."

Kim laughed. "Don't look at me. You were gobbling it down like it was your last meal."

"Thanks a lot," Kayla said sarcastically. "I'm not normally a big ice cream eater, but it sure tasted good tonight. Besides, your niece helped too."

Kayla glanced at Stephanie who was back on the floor playing. She had toddled over when Kayla had brought out the ice cream. Apparently, even at her age, ice cream was a known quantity.

Kim smiled and then smirked. "Yeah, she did. I guess she takes after her mother, huh?"

"At least when it comes to ice cream," Kayla said. "But she definitely has Steve's sense of adventure."

Without warning, Kayla felt a now all-too-familiar wave of nausea crash over her. She sat up, took deep breaths, and tried to control it.

"Are you okay?" Kim looked concerned.

Kayla nodded, but did not speak. She did not trust her body enough to make even a small movement just yet. After a few seconds, the wave passed and Kayla relaxed again.

"Okay, Kay. . . . What's going on?"

Kayla looked at her sister curiously. "What do you mean?"

Kim looked back, clearly exasperated. "I mean you were dizzy not that long ago, and now you looked about as green as Kermit the Frog. You're not coming down with that flu that's going around, are you?"

Kayla did not answer for a moment. At this point, she was pretty confident it was not the flu, no matter what she had tried to tell herself this morning. No strain of flu she had ever encountered had caused her to be starving one minute and queasy the next. Plus, she had no other symptoms that would suggest the flu.

"Kay?" Kim was waiting for an answer.

Finally, Kayla shook her head. "No, I'm sure I don't have the flu."

Kim's eyes narrowed at Kayla's words. Kayla could all but see the wheels turning in her sister's head. Knowing Kim would finally get there, Kayla waited patiently.

After a few moments, Kayla's patience was rewarded as Kim's eyes flew open wide. "Kay!" she said, excitedly. "Are you . . . pregnant?"

Kayla could not help but smile at Kim's reaction. "I don't know for sure, but I definitely have all the signs. I've been nauseated the last few mornings, more tired than usual, and I was craving that ice cream tonight."

"Those are the classic symptoms," Kim agreed. Then she raised a brow. "What about the most important one?"

Kayla sighed. That was the reason she had been unable to keep pretending it was just a case of the flu. "I'm definitely late," she admitted. "It's just been so crazy lately. . . . I didn't even realize it until the other signs kicked in."

"But you haven't taken a test to be sure?"

Kayla shook her head. "It was only this morning that I really put it all together. I did pick up a test at the hospital today. I just haven't talked myself into taking it yet."

Kim looked at Kayla curiously. "Why would you have to talk yourself into it? Would being pregnant be a bad thing?"

"No," Kayla said quickly. "Having another child would be wonderful." She took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch again. "It's just that Steve and I haven't even talked about it. It's kind of been one crisis after another since he got back. I'm just not sure the timing is all that great."

Kim chuckled slightly. "Well, if you are pregnant, the timing is just going to have to be fine." She put her arm around Kayla's shoulders. "Besides, you know Steve will be thrilled."

"I know," Kayla agreed. "He was so scared about being a father before Stephanie was born. And then he kept talking about how we were going to fill the house up with kids." She chuckled. "I guess he decided fatherhood wasn't so bad after all."

"He's always been wonderful with kids," Kim said. "And I think a little boy would be just perfect for him."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't even know for sure that I'm pregnant."

"Well then, maybe it's time you found out." Kim grinned. "Go take that test." Then she paused. "Unless you want to wait for Steve."

Kayla pondered the question for a moment. Maybe she should wait for Steve and then take the test. On the other hand, she didn't know what time he would be home and she didn't want to wait another day. Besides, if she confirmed her pregnancy, then she could give him the news. One of her great regrets was that she had not been the one to tell him about her pregnancy with Stephanie.

Finally, she shook her head. "No, I don't want to wait. I need to know if I'm pregnant and, if I wait for Steve, who knows when I might finally get to take that test."

Kim smiled and clapped her hands. "Then go take it. I want to know if I'm going to be an aunt - I mean, again."

Kayla stood and walked to her purse, pulling the test out. She read the directions and then turned to Kim. "I guess we'll know in about ten minutes or so." Then, taking a deep breath, she began walking toward the bathroom.

A few minutes later she returned to the living room and smiled at Kim, who was now down on the floor playing with Stephanie. Joining them, Kayla said, "Now all we have to do is wait."

"I'm not even sure what we're waiting for," Kim teased. "We both know what that test is going to show."

Kayla just rolled her eyes and focused her attention on her daughter. The minutes crawled by and Kim smirked every time she caught Kayla looking at the clock. Finally, just when Kayla thought she could not take it anymore, the ten minutes finally expired. She jumped up and headed straight for the bathroom at nearly a jog. Even Kim's chuckles from the living room didn't slow her down.

When she reached the bedroom, she slowed. It hit her how much her life could change when she looked at the test. Unbidden, she remembered the first time she had waited for a pregnancy test. She had been married to Jack at the time, and had mistaken the symptoms of Harper's poisoning for a possible pregnancy. Even as hopeless as things had seemed to be for her and Steve at that time and even with all the problems that a pregnancy have been caused, Kayla had been very disappointed when the test was negative.

Shaking those thoughts from her mind, Kayla walked into the bathroom and slowly approached the test. She suddenly realized how much she wanted the test to be positive. It no longer mattered that she and Steve had not discussed it, or that the timing may not be perfect. All that mattered was the possibility that she and Steve had created another life from their love.

With shaky hands, she reached for the test. She picked it up and stared at it for several long moments. Then she smiled and felt a tear spring to her eye. It was positive. Feeling nearly faint with relief, she sat down on the toilet seat. She could not tear her eyes from the test. Then she heard her sister's voice from the doorway.

"Congratulations, baby sister," Kim said. She was holding Stephanie and turned to the little girl. "You're going to be a big sister in a few months. Isn't that exciting?"

Stephanie just stared at her aunt. The her face broke into a big grin and she began giggling. Kayla and Kim joined in the laughter. As the laughter died down and the three of them made their way back to the living room, one thought dominated Kayla's mind.

_I can't wait to tell Steve._


	479. Chapter 479

"I'm not dead," Shane growled from the couch. "I can hear you."

Steve exchanged a look with John. They had thought they were whispering quietly enough that Shane would not hear them. Steve shrugged and said, "Sorry, dude."

"Apology accepted," Shane said, sounding irritated. He was sprawled on the couch in the library, his eyes closed. "Just please stop asking one another if I need a doctor. If I need one, I'll tell you."

John walked over to the couch. "You know we're just worried about you, partner. That was a lot of running, and you pushed yourself."

Shane sat up and grimaced. "I'm not an invalid." He looked over at Steve. "Look, enough about me. What's on the next disk?"

They had already gone through two of the disks, having dragged Eve's computer from her bedroom and set it up in the library. There was little on the disks about Lawrence that they did not already know, other than that the ISA's search of the destroyed Mauritius compound had turned up several charred bodies in the wreckage. The ISA suspected they had been test subjects.

Steve was getting frustrated at the lack of useful information considering what they had just gone through. They had risked a lot to break into the ISA field office and had barely escaped. Shane had assured him that the field director would cover up the break-up. After leaving the office, they had returned to the motel and freed their captives. Shane had warned that if the field director did not respond to calls quickly, the break-in would be reported to Tarrington and other ISA higher-ups. Before letting them go, John had instructed the field director to claim he had ordered a test of the office's security.

So far, the cops had not raided Shane's, so maybe that had worked. But Steve had spent a lifetime looking over his shoulder and he was not going to let down his guard now.

John finished putting the disk in and opened the first file. It was the first audio recording they had copied and Steve could not avoid feeling chilled as he heard Lawrence Alamain's voice.

"Who's the other dude?" Steve asked.

"Ivan Marais," Shane said. "Lawrence's right-hand. You probably don't recognize him, but you spent about a half-hour listening to him through a wall at Lawrence's house."

Steve remembered breaking into Lawrence and waiting for someone to leave the office. That explained why the voice sounded a little familiar. They all listened as Lawrence and this Ivan guy discussed potential buyers.

"Who are some of these guys?" Steve asked. "I get Iran, Qaddafi, the IRA and Hezbollah, but I've never heard of some of these others."

Shane filled in the gaps. "The 'Tigers' is probably a reference to the Tamil terrorists in Sri Lanka, the 'ETA' are Basque separatists in Spain,'al-Qaeda' is a fairly new Islamacist group, and 'Shining Path' is a communist group in Peru. It looks like Lawrence is casting a wide net. The more potential buyers of his toxin, the higher the price. That weapon in some of those hands. . . ."

As Shane's voice tapered off, Steve got the picture. Alamain was willing to sell his poison to the highest bidder, without regard to how it might be used.

They listened further but there was nothing else informative on the recording. Steve stomped his feet, growing even more impatient. "There's got to be something about Salem on there."

"We just have to keep listening," Shane said. He sounded like he was half-asleep.

John watched Shane with a concerned look on his face. "Maybe we should finish this tomorrow," he said. When Shane scowled at him, John just sighed. "Okay. . . . Here's the next file."

Once again, they heard Lawrence's voice, but then it seemed to cut out.

"Dammit, what did he say?" John asked. They could tell Lawrence had something, but the words were muffled, as if he might be talking to himself. John stopped the audio playback and restarted it.

Steve listened closely, catching the word "Salem," but little else.

"I think he said something about being under our noses," John said. "I couldn't make it out completely."

"We already knew that," Shane pointed out. He had sat up and was listening closely. "If he's testing the toxin here, he'll want to be close."

"But where?" Steve asked sharply. "He's got to have a hideout somewhere."

Steve felt silly for even saying that. They all already knew Lawrence would need a hideout. It was just his frustration talking. The recordings were their only real hope for finding out where Lawrence planned to hide and, so far, they revealed nothing. The room fell silent as that recording ended and John opened another file. The voices came through clearly, indicating that they were closer to the bug than in the other recordings.

"Ah, Doctor," came Lawrence's voice.

The response was in heavily accented English. "We have made significant progress, Herr Alamain. The testing goes much better with the new test subjects."

"All I care about is whether the testing is successful," Lawrence said. "And if the toxin will be effective by my deadline." There was a pause before Lawrence probed further. "It will be lethal by my deadline, won't it?"

The doctor sounded nervous. "I . . . ."

"Won't it?" Lawrence asked, though it was as much a command as a question. "December 1 is my deadline."

"Of course, Herr Alamain. If this new formulation works, it will be just a week or two. Well before December."

They could hear Lawrence chuckle. "That would be best. My plans for the demonstration are already underway."

John stopped the recording and they all looked at one another. It was the first week of December. The deadline had already passed. John shook his head. "If Alamain's on the move-"

"-then the toxin's lethal," Shane finished.

"Great," Steve muttered. "So we still know nothing about his plans."

Shane shook his head. "Not true. We already knew he planned to show off the toxin in Salem. Now we have a timetable."

"What timetable?" Steve asked.

"Lawrence wouldn't be talking to so many buyers if he doesn't have the auction date set." Shane pursed his lips and closed his eyes. For a moment, Steve wondered if he was going to fall asleep, but then Shane opened his eyes again and said, "He wanted the toxin lethal by the first of December, which means he has a definite time frame for his great demonstration. You have to figure he needs a little time between the toxin is lethal and when he releases it, but that could be any time after the first."

_And it's already December_, Steve thought. He looked at Shane. "So you're saying he could release that stuff any day now?"

Shane did not have to answer.

"We have to tell people," Steve said. "Jack can have a story in tomorrow's Spectator."

"No!" Shane and John both said in unison.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Steve said. Were they serious? Lawrence could kill hundreds of people in Salem.

Shane sighed. "I know it's hard for you, Steve, but we can't go public with this. It will start a panic and Lawrence will just move his demonstration elsewhere."

"But you're talking about Salem," Steve insisted. "Our families and friends are here."

"And we'll protect them," Shane said, sounding completely certain. "Right now, Salem is the best-prepared city in the country for this. Carly's stockpiling the antidote and is on watch for any reports of suspicious symptoms."

Steve scowled. He looked at John, who appeared troubled, and then asked, "And if that antidote doesn't work?"

"The hope is that we never need to use it," Shane said. "We can still find Lawrence. But if we start a panic, he could go anywhere and they'd have no chance once that toxin's released."

"But you're talking about our families and friends," Steve repeated. Before Shane could respond, he raised his hands. "I know. . . I know. . . . Those families in other places are important too." Steve knew Shane's philosophy, but he still did not agree with it.

There was a long silence before John stepped toward Steve. He hesitated, as if he were thinking, then said, "We . . . we have to do it like this. I know it's hard . . . for you, but our best shot at stopping him is keeping Lawrence in Salem." To Steve's ears, John did not sound like he particularly believed what he was saying.

Steve hated the idea, but he remembered that he had agreed to follow Shane on this. "Fine," Steve said. "I won't say anything."

Shane's eyes locked on Steve's. "Steve, we're going to do everything we can to make sure Lawrence Alamain doesn't hurt anyone we care about. Our families will be safe." He ran a hand over his eyes and turned to John. "How many more files are there?"

"Just some background stuff," John said. "No more audio."

"Damn. . . ." Shane shook his head. "If only we had more time in there."

John shook his head. "I doubt there was much more to find, partner. It looks like the ISA doesn't have much more than we do."

"So now the question is where would Lawrence go once he gets here," Shane said. "He has to know his old house is out of the question. That old house the Jencon people were using for their plots burned down."

"And the old Jencon refinery site was taken over by the bank and sold," John said.

That came as news to Steve. "When did that happen?"

"Last June, right?" John looked to Shane for confirmation. "Yeah, I think it was around June. After Bo blew up the refinery, they discussed rebuilding, but then, I guess, Lawrence cratered the idea as part of his good-will efforts in Salem. I guess they just stopped paying on it."

"So who bought it from the bank?" Steve asked. Shane and John both shook their heads. That made Steve think. Maybe they should look into it. He gathered Lawrence was either in jail or in trial at the time, so it was long odds that he was involved in the refinery sale. But it still couldn't hurt to check into the sale. He would call Jack in the morning and see what he could turn up.

While Steve was thinking, Shane's attention must have turned to John, because he asked, "Hey, are you okay?"

Steve looked over and saw that John had walked over to the mantle and was looking at some of the Brady family photographs. He turned back.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Something about the way he said it made Steve doubt it was sincere. Perhaps it was the way they had talked about protecting their families had made John think about the Bradys.

"I'd . . . I'd better get home or Isabella's going to send out the National Guard." John looked at Steve and then at Shane. "We'll touch base tomorrow."


	480. Chapter 480

Kim was surprised at how late it was by the time she returned home. She had left Kayla's only a few minutes before Steve arrived home; she spotted his car pulling into the building as she left. She hoped Steve's return meant that Shane was home and safe.

The night had been an emotional roller-coaster. Her fear for Shane coupled with the thrilling news about Kayla. Another baby in the family would be wonderful. Kayla and Steve would be wonderful parents, and they could spend the next months together joyously anticipating the birth of their baby.

Kim tried to stifle that small part of her that felt jealous at that thought. She and Shane had never been able to experience that happiness. When she had been pregnant with Andrew, she had been racked with the fear of Shane finding out about Victor and, when he did, they had split for the last few months of her pregnancy. Then, during her second pregnancy - the only child they knew was actually Shane's - Eve's arrival had thrown their lives into turmoil and then Kim had lost the baby. And then Cal had cheated then of the happiness they should have had when Kim was pregnant with Jeannie. It was hard for Kim not to think of how much she and Shane had lost when she pictured Kayla and Steve's happiness.

She shook her head, Her feelings were understandable, but she was being unfair. Kayla had suffered a lot of the same kind of heartbreaks during her first pregnancy. She deserved this happiness. She and Steve both did. They had been through so much.

Kim said a silent prayer for her sister and Steve. Especially Steve. _Please don't let anything happen to him. _It was impossible to set aside that thought as she walked into the house, wondering what kind of risks Steve was taking to help Shane clear his name.

The downstairs of the house was dark when she entered. That actually came as a surprise; Kim expected Shane would be in the library or his study, obsessing over whatever crazy stunt he, Steve, and John had done that night.

_Unless it was a failure_, she thought.

She told herself she needed to be positive. She couldn't think all of these risks were for nothing. She had to trust Shane's judgment and she needed to give him her support. Even if it scared her to death.

As she reached the second floor, she heard a sound from the nursery. Realization set it, causing a smile to spread across her face as she crept to the door and peeked around the edge.

In the rocking chair next to the crib, Shane was seated, holding Jeannie. Jeannie was wrapped in a blanket and sleeping, her head resting against Shane's chest. He was stroking Jeannie's hair, rocking the chair slowly, and softly humming some music that took Kim a moment to recognize.

"And I thought they only played Canon in D before weddings," she teased, hating herself for interrupting the moment.

Shane looked up through half-lidded eyes. He gave her a tired smile and said, in a very soft voice, "I didn't see you there."

"I didn't want to interrupt." Kim motioned to Jeannie. "You don't have to stop. I was enjoying the concert."

"That was hardly a concert," Shane said. "Eve got all the musical talent in this family. I'm surprised Jeannie didn't start crying the moment I started."

Kim stepped into the room. "I think she's perfectly happy being in her daddy's arms." Changing the subject, she said, "You look exhausted. Maybe it's time for both of you to get to bed."

Shane nodded. "I couldn't really do that until you got home." It took Kim a moment to realize that Shane was referring to Jeannie. Marcus had Shane restricted to lifting no more than 20 lbs, and Jeannie was already heavier than that. Kim began to ask the obvious question, but Shane answered it first. "Simmons. He helped me change her for bed, but then . . . I just wanted to spend some time with her, and I told him not wait up. I knew you'd be home pretty soon."

"Good thing I did," Kim said. "Imagine if I'd been called to the hospital on an emergency. You'd have been like this all night."

Shane looked down at their sleeping daughter. "I don't think I would have minded. It feels like I've only just had the opportunity to get to know her and . . . who knows if I'll be able to stay with her." He not only sounded exhausted, but defeated.

"So I guess whatever you did with Steve and John didn't go that well?"

He shrugged, but kept his eyes on Jeannie. "We got what we were looking for, but it didn't tell us that much. We know Lawrence is out there, and we know he has plans for Salem. And now we know he's going to attack soon . . . possibly any day. But we're no closer to figuring out where he's hiding."

Kim had no idea what to say. She understood his thinking - that if he could stop Lawrence, he could force the government to drop the charges - but she also felt relieved that Shane could not run off to confront Lawrence. Kim could see the wear on him from whatever he had done that night. He was not strong enough to go after Lawrence.

"I was thinking. . . ." Shane paused and then said, quietly, "Maybe you should take the children and leave Salem for a few weeks. Until this thing is over."

Kim reached out and took Jeannie from Shane's arms. "Is that what's Steve's telling Kayla? Did you call Bo and suggest he and Carly leave with Shawn Douglas? Did you tell Jennifer and Jack to go on vacation?"

"No," Shane admitted. She could hear a note of guilt. "But if I do that, it'll start a panic."

"If our friends and family are here - if you're here - I'm not going anywhere, Shane." Kim carried Jeannie over to the crib, gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, and then laid her down.

She heard Shane sigh. "I know the best thing is to avoid a panic, but I can't help thinking that all I want is for you and the kids to be safe. I know that's selfish."

Kim finished settling Jeannie down. The little girl's arms moved like she might wake, but then she yawned in her sleep and stilled again. Kim placed the blanket over her and turned back to Shane.

"You are the most selfless man I've ever known, Shane Donovan." She knelt down beside the chair and took his hand in hers. "Just look at the past few months. You didn't need to be the one to rescue Steve, and you certainly didn't need to jump in front of Cal's bullet. Even now, you could call the soldiers to testify to save yourself, but you won't because of what it will do to them. . . ." Kim squeezed his hand. "I don't know many men who would do the same. In fact, sometimes, I wish you'd be more selfish. But then you wouldn't be the man I love."

He tugged on her hand. "Come here."

Kim stood, slid around the side of the chair, and sat down on his lap. "I'm a little heavier than Jeannie," she joked.

"But just as captivating," he replied. His eyes were barely open and, this close, Kim could see that they were pretty unfocused. She must have tensed, because he forced his eyes open, looked at her, and asked, "Kim?"

"I'm afraid," she breathed, hating herself for voicing her doubts. "I'm afraid you're pushing yourself too hard, that you're trying to do something you're not physically ready for."

"I know you are." Shane raised his hand and brushed her cheek. "But I know I have my limitations. . . . If anything else, tonight showed me that. So I will be careful. But I need to do this. If I don't at least try to stay with you - and with our children. . . . I don't want to give any of that time up." He looked down. "I won't."

Kim reached her hand down and tilted his chin so she could see into his eyes. In their tired depths, she could see the dueling emotions - pain, fear, love. "It's not selfish to want to be happy and spend your life with your loved ones," she breathed. "Whatever you decide, Shane, I support you, and you need to know that me, your son, your daughters . . . we're going to be right here, no matter what."

She leaned forward and kissed him. Shane murmured softly as their lips touched, then pulled away and gazed into her eyes.

"I'm the luckiest man in the world. Surrounded by all of this love. . . . I won't let anything keep us apart."

Kim leaned forward and kissed him again. Then, she stood, pulled Shane's hand, and helped him to his feet. Standing required effort, but he managed to get to his feet with only a slight grimace. Kim put an arm around him, steered him to the door, and stopped only to turn off the lamp in the nursery. She leaned into his shoulder and began humming the same lullaby Shane had hummed to Jeannie a few minutes earlier.

_We're both lucky_, Kim thought. _And nothing will ever keep us apart._


	481. Chapter 481

Steve opened the door to the apartment as quietly as possible. He knew that Stephanie would be in bed by now and did not want to wake her.

Closing the door softly behind him, he made sure it was locked and then turned to find Kayla standing by the couch.

"Hi, baby," he said with a tentative grin, hoping she wasn't too upset with him.

"Hi," Kayla replied softly. She had a look in her eyes that Steve could not quite read, and a smile on her face that seemed to be hiding some kind of secret.

Steve walked to her, a curious grin on his own face. "What's going on, Sweetness? You look like the cat that swallowed the canary."

Kayla shook her head. "You first. What were you and Shane and John up to tonight anyway?" She quirked her brow. "Kim was here most of the evening and she told me Shane and John left the house before she did. So don't bother telling me you were there."

Steve smiled. "I guess I'll have to come up with another story, huh?" He held up his hand before Kayla could protest. "I'm just kidding."

Taking her hand, Steve led her to the couch and sat down, pulling her down next to him. He knew he could not tell her the whole story, as much for her own protection as anything. While he was growing more convinced that Shane was right about the field director preventing any further investigation to the break-in, Steve did not want to take any chances that could put Kayla at risk.

"Well?" Kayla asked, giving him a pointed look. "What happened?"

Steve chose his words carefully. "We figured out a way to get some more information about what Alamain might be up to, so we went and got it."

"That's it?" Kayla shook her head. "I know better. There's a lot more to that story."

"Yeah, there is, Sweetness," Steve admitted. "But the details don't really matter, and it's better if you don't know them anyway. All that matters is that we got the information." He paused. Every instinct in him told him to stop there, but he had also promised not to withhold things from her. "The information isn't good, baby," he finally continued. "It looks like Alamain is on the move, probably to Salem, and whatever is going to go down is going to happen soon."

"Oh." Kayla looked down for a moment, but Steve didn't miss the flash of fear in her eyes. That was all Steve needed to ask the question he had been mulling over since he had left Shane's house.

"What do you think about you and Stephanie leaving town for a little while, baby?" he asked in a rush. "You could go to Texas and visit Justin and Adrienne and the kids. You know they would love to see you, and Stephanie would have a blast with her cousins."

Kayla didn't respond at first, and Steve had a brief moment of hope that she might agree. But that hope quickly vanished when she shook her head. "I can't run away, Steve. Not when the rest of my family will be here, most of them without any idea of what is coming. Plus, I'm a nurse and I know about the antidote Carly is working on. If something happens, they will need me here."

Steve sighed. He had known what her answer would be before he had asked. That didn't mean he had to like it. Kayla obviously sensed his frustration because she snuggled closer and kissed him.

"I know you want me to be safe and I love you for that," she said, stroking his cheek. "But we're a family and we'll face whatever happens as a family. Besides, you're more likely to be a target for Lawrence and you won't leave, will you?"

Steve shook his head. "You know I can't do that."

"I do know that," Kayla agreed. "And I can't leave either. I hope you can understand."

Steve sighed. "I do understand. I just want you safe, that's all." He looked her in the eyes. "Just promise me that you will be extra cautious until this is over. If you're not working at the hospital, then stay at home or someplace else we know is safe. Can you do that for me?"

Kayla nodded. "I'll do my best."

"Good." Steve leaned back against the couch and pulled Kayla to his chest. It had been a long day and he was starting to feel the fatigue. Plus, he was sure Kayla needed her rest after not feeling well that morning. "Let's go to bed, baby." He sat up and started to get up from the couch.

"Wait a minute," Kayla said, pulling him back down. "There's something else we need to talk about. Or rather, something that I need to tell you."

Steve looked at her curiously, then remembered the look he had seen when he entered the apartment. "What is it, baby?"

Kayla did not respond at first. She was holding Steve's hand and running her thumb over his fingers, seemingly lost in thought. Then she started speaking, her voice so quiet he could barely hear her.

"Do you remember when I was pregnant with Stephanie?" Without waiting for his response, she continued, "We weren't in a very good place back then. Everything that had happened with Marina had pulled us so far apart. I . . . I wasn't even sure we could put it all back together."

Steve's heart clinched at her words. He hated remembering those dark days. He had made so many stupid mistakes and had hurt Kayla so badly. Even now, he did not understand how he could have been so foolish as to let Marina come between him and Kayla so badly.

He was about to speak when Kayla spoke again. "I know we got through it all, but when I first found out I was pregnant, I let my fear control me. I was so afraid that if I told you, you'd stay with me because of the baby, even if that wasn't what you really wanted. I was afraid I'd never know what you really felt."

Steve was completely confused and more than a little concerned by Kayla's words. "Baby, what's this all about? We dealt with all of that a long time ago. You're not questioning my love for you now, are you?"

Kayla shook her head. "No." She looked at him and smiled, her eyes filled with so much love it took his breath away. She took a deep breath. "It's just that I've always regretted that I didn't tell you myself that I was pregnant and that you found out from Jack." She shrugged slightly and held his hand to her heart. "I never really apologized for that, but I promised that I would make it up to you someday. And now I have that chance."

Steve was still confused, but alarm bells were going off in his head. He felt like he was holding a bunch of puzzle pieces, but could not quite put them all together. "What are you trying to tell me, Sweetness?"

Kayla smiled and slowly moved their joined hands from her heart to her abdomen. She rested them there for a moment, then looked up at him. Steve felt his heart skip a beat as the final piece of the puzzle slipped into place.

"I'm pregnant," she breathed. "You're going to be a daddy again."

Time seemed to stand still while Kayla's words echoed in his ears and his brain tried to comprehend them. He stared at her, his eye shifting from her face to her stomach where their hands still lay. He tried to remind himself to breathe, but he wasn't sure his body was listening.

"Steve?" Kayla's voice broke through his fog. "Aren't you going to say something?"

Steve just shook his head, knowing he was unable to say a word just yet. Instead, he leaned over and kissed his wife. First her lips, then her cheeks and forehead, and back to her lips again. Then he leaned back, smiled and laughed. Still laughing, he slipped off the couch and knelt beside it and began planting kisses on Kayla's stomach, awed by the thought that their baby was now growing just beneath the spot he was kissing.

Kayla laughed with him and ran her hands through his hair as he laid his head in her lap and wrapped his arms around her. "I know we haven't talked about this at all . . . and I know the timing isn't the best, but-"

"No buts," Steve finally spoke, cutting her off. "We're having a baby, Sweetness. A baby! This is one of the best moments in my life." He kissed her stomach again and looked up at her, his heart filled with love and thankfulness. "Thank you so much."

Kayla chuckled. "I didn't exactly do it on my own you know. So thank you too."

"Are you happy, baby?" Steve had to ask. "You said yourself we hadn't talked about it. Is this okay with you?"

Kayla nodded, reached down, and pulled Steve up to sit beside her again. "I'm not going to pretend it's not a bit of a surprise, but I'm thrilled. Creating this baby with you . . . it's a miracle I could never be anything but happy about."

"I'm so lucky," Steve said, reaching out to stroke Kayla's cheek. "There isn't another man in this world as blessed as I am."

"We're both blessed, Steve. Somehow we've come through everything that the world has tried to throw at us. Despite all of it, we're here together and we're having another baby. It's amazing."

Steve found himself unable to speak again. So he leaned down and kissed Kayla, saying with his lips and tongue what he could not put into words. She returned the kiss and he could feel the passion begin to rise in them both.

In one swift move he stood up, lifting Kayla off the couch. He stopped only long enough to turn off the lights before moving quickly to the bedroom. The fatigue he had felt earlier had been replaced by joy, love, and now, passion. He placed Kayla on the bed and they worked quickly to remove the clothes that kept them apart.

Danger might be lurking all around them right now, but, as he lost himself in the feel of his wife's lips and the sounds of her pleasure-filled moans, Steve vowed that nothing bad would touch them. Not tonight - and not in the future if he had anything to say about it.


	482. Chapter 482

Alice's was still crowded with the morning rush when Shane entered the restaurant. He began to look around, but was interrupted by Alice Horton herself.

"Shane, it's so good to see you," she said, then stopped. "Let me look at you."

Shane stood sheepish as she studied him.

"I think you could use a good breakfast. How about some eggs, ham, and some pancakes? And I'll throw in a couple of doughnuts for good measure."

Shane chuckled. "I think they'd have to roll me out of here if I ate all that, but I'm really not here to eat." He looked around the restaurant. "I was told Roman's here."

Alice frowned slightly. "Are you sure about that? I've heard things haven't been very friendly and I wouldn't want to have any trouble in my restaurant."

"I just need to talk to him," Shane assured her. "And I promise that I'll be on my best behavior. The English pride ourselves on being very proper."

Alice shook her head, but was chuckling good-naturedly. "You'd better. I'm not too old to drag two hooligans out of this place by the scruff of their necks." She motioned over her shoulder towards some tables that were behind the counter. "Roman's back there."

Thanking her and excusing himself, Shane made his way around the counter. From there, he spotted Roman, seated alone in a corner booth. Knowing this would be awkward, Shane walked toward the booth.

Roman spotted him when he was still a few feet away. "You'd better be on your way to the can," he growled.

"We need to talk," Shane said simply.

"No, we don't," snapped Roman. "We've got nothing to talk about."

Shane was not about to take no for an answer, so he sat down in the seat opposite Roman. "If you take one step toward the door, I'll be forced to make a bloody scene and I've already promised Alice Horton that I wouldn't cause any trouble." As Roman's eyes narrowed, Shane added, "This has nothing to do with the family or with Kim. It's just very important - for everyone in Salem."

"So go tell Abe," Roman said.

"I tried, but he's on assignment for the next few days." Shane had made several calls already. "I also considered calling Brian Scofield, but when you hear what I have to say, you'll understand that I couldn't trust him to handle this properly. So will you listen to me?"

With a grimace, Roman crossed his arms, but he gave no sign of leaving the table. After a long silence, he finally snarled. "I'm not going anywhere, so say whatever you need to say and then get the hell away from me."

That was probably about as polite Shane could have expected Roman to be. "Okay," Shane began. "Now I don't know what Tarrington or whoever took my place as head of the Alamain task force has told you-"

"Whoa." Roman started to raise his voice, but lowered it before anyone turned in their direction. Leaning forward, Roman growled angrily, "You're not going to badmouth the ISA to me, pal."

"I"m not," Shane insisted. "I'm just trying to tell you something they might not have. There's something you need to know."

That caused Roman to scowl even more. "Oh, so you're going to spill ISA secrets. Not exactly the best way to convince me you're not a traitor."

"Fine," Shane snapped back. "Look, I'm only telling you what I told Roman Brady a few months ago. I don't see repeating something to someone who already knows it as spilling a secret."

"Except I wasn't the guy you told."

Shane shrugged. "Technicalities. Look, when I told John, I was ISA Head of Special Investigations-"

"That's the second-highest job in the ISA." Roman sounded surprised.

"It is," Shane said. "And I was heading the Alamain taskforce. I told John to keep the information under wraps, but I was within my prerogative to alert local law enforcement about a credible threat in its jurisdiction." Seeing Roman's doubtful look persist, Shane grew exasperated and decided he needed to cut to the chase. "Okay, fine. . . . Consider me a traitor for telling you this." In a low voice that nobody else in the restaurant could possibly overhear, he said, "Lawrence Alamain has developed a toxic chemical weapon that he plans to use in Salem sometime in the next few weeks. It could be anytime."

Roman's jaw had dropped and his eyes seemed fixed in a stunned, widened stare. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head as if refusing to believe what Shane had said. He snorted. "And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yes," Shane said sharply. "Normally, I'd tell you that I don't care if you believe me, but this is too bloody important for emotions to get in the way. Carly Manning is stockpiling a possible antidote to Lawrence's weapon, but nobody is 100% sure that it will be an effective antidote to the toxin."

"Wait. . . ." Roman raised a hand. "Wait. . . . You're telling me that this Alamain guy - a guy who was convicted for a misdemeanor-"

"It was rape," Shane said. "And though we couldn't prove it, Lawrence was responsible for the explosion that nearly killed Steve and for kidnapping him."

Roman continued to shake his head. "So I'm supposed to believe that Lawrence is going to randomly kill a bunch of people in Salem?"

"You don't know him." Shane knew he did not have the time to explain Lawrence Alamain in detail, so he tried a simplified explanation. "Lawrence is a true sociopath. He's the 'if you poke me, I'll punch you back.' The people of Salem wronged him, so he wants what he sees a 'justice.'"

"The people wronged him?" Roman looked dubious.

Shane ran a hand across his brow. "In Lawrence's mind, yes. The people of Salem sent him to prison for something he doesn't consider a crime."

"You're serious," Roman said, sounding surprised.

"I am." Shane looked Roman in the eyes. "Look, just believe me. Lawrence needs to make a grand demonstration of his weapon and the most likely target is Salem - a place where there are going to be a lot of people at once. Like a sporting event or a concert or a school or hospital. He can strike at any time, and you need to be prepared when it happens."

Roman's eyes narrowed. "I don't know your game, Donovan. If there really was some massive threat to Salem, the ISA would be all over it. We'd have the police on alert-"

"Tarrington doesn't want to cause a panic," Shane said. "If Lawrence's plot goes public, he'll just test his weapon someplace else."

That seemed to make Roman think, but he still sounded doubtful. "The ISA could have still told me. It's pretty hard to believe that they're keeping this from the Salem P.D. And I know you're working with John on something. Why am I supposed to believe you when you're working with the guy who stole my life?"

Shane tried to stifle his frustration. "I can understand why you hate John. . . . I really can. Losing that long and finding yourself replaced, for lack of a better word. . . ." Shane could not stop himself from remembering Cal at that moment. "But I'm telling you, however it happened, John is a good man. He's spent the last five years keeping your name one of the most respected and trusted in Salem. If he were some plant or part of some evil plot, why would he have done that? He would've been better off splitting with Marlena and distancing himself from the family so he could do whatever he needed to do. Instead, he's shown himself to be a fast friend and loyal to a fault."

Roman snorted, and Shane knew it was pointless to continue the conversation. Besides, he wanted to track down John to see what he was up to and, if possible, to try to get to the bottom of what was troubling his friend.

"You done now?" Roman asked.

_I'm done. _Shane fought his exasperation once more and forced himself to take a deep breath as he started to stand up. "Believe what you want, Roman," Shane said. "I just came here to give you information that could save a lot of lives." Now standing, Shane leaned back over the table. "You can keep hating me, that's fine."

Roman looked down at the table and Shane stepped back. He could not tell if his message had gotten through, but he had delivered it.

"You don't need to like me to know I'm speaking the truth," Shane said, before he stepped away. "Just remember what's at stake. Don't let this personal animosity stop you from doing what's right. There are too many lives at stake, Roman. Far too many lives at stake."


	483. Chapter 483

Kayla smiled at Steve, told Stephanie to wave at Daddy as he drove away, and then rang the bell at Shane and Kim's house. A few seconds later, the door opened and Simmons offered his usual formal greeting.

"Good afternoon, Madam Johnson. Please come in."

Kayla thanked him and entered the foyer. "Is Kimberly around?"

"I believe Madame Brady is upstairs with Miss Jeannie. I'll inform her of your arrival." Simmons gestured towards the living room. "Please feel free to wait inside."

Kayla nodded and carried Stephanie into the living room. She set Stephanie down and smiled to herself, still basking in the glow of her pregnancy. That morning, she and Steve had gone to the hospital where Neil had graciously fit them into his schedule

The appointment had confirmed the home pregnancy test, and Neil had seemed almost as happy as Steve and Kayla when he gave them the news. Kayla had nearly giggled as she watched Steve listen intently to Neil's standard early pregnancy advice. Then she had remembered that Steve had missed much of the early days of her pregnancy with Stephanie and the giggles had been replaced by unshed tears.

"Kay?"

Kim's voice startled Kayla, who turned quickly. "Hi Kim," she said with a smile. "I hope you don't mind Stephanie and me just stopping by."

"Of course not." Kim looked closely at Kayla. "Is everything okay?"

Kayla nodded. "Everything's fine. We had an appointment with Neil this morning."

"And?" Kim asked with an expectant grin.

"And Neil confirmed I'm pregnant." Kayla returned Kim's grin. "I think Steve's already picking out names."

"That's wonderful, Kay." Kim walked over and gave Kayla a hug. "But I'm guessing you didn't stop by just to confirm the news."

"No," Kayla said. "Steve said he had to talk to Jack and suggested that I come here while he took care of that." She sighed softly, trying to keep the fear under control. "He tried to pretend that he just thought it would be good for Stephanie to see Jeannie and Andrew, but I think he just really wanted me to be somewhere he thought was safe."

The smile fell from Kim's face as Kayla spoke. "I know what you mean. Shane strongly hinted that he'd prefer I not leave the house unless absolutely necessary."

Kayla took a seat on the couch and waited for her sister to join her. "It's funny, isn't it? The men we love are so worried about us, but they never quite seem to understand that we worry just as much whenever they leave the house."

Kim chuckled humorlessly. "Unfortunately for us, they can't quite get it through their heads that they aren't indestructible. It doesn't matter how many times they nearly get killed, they simply refuse to believe that something will happen to them."

Kayla nodded. "Sometimes I think I should be used to it by now . . . that it would get easier somehow. But it never does. If anything, it's harder." She shook her head, trying to banish the thoughts. "I'm sorry, I didn't come over here to be so depressing."

Kim offered a soft smile. "It's okay, Kay. I know exactly how you feel, and it's nice to be able to share that fear with somebody. It may not make it go away, but at least I know I'm not alone."

A faint cry filtered into the room. Kim quickly stood up. "Sounds like Jeannie just woke from her nap. I'll go get her. She'll be happy to see Stephanie."

Kayla nodded and watched as Kim left the room. Stephanie was still happily playing with a few stray toys she had found. Kayla watched her daughter for a moment and could not stop herself from offering a silent prayer that Steve stayed safe. She was so lost in thought that she did not hear the front door open or Shane enter the library.

"Oh, Kayla . . . . I didn't know you were here," he said.

"Hi, Shane." Kayla stood up from the couch. "We just stopped by for a visit with Kim and Jeannie."

Shane smiled and knelt down next to Stephanie. "And how are you, my darling? You're getting so big."

Stephanie smiled up at Shane and babbled something that wasn't quite understandable. It caused Kayla to chuckle. "She's still getting the hang of that talking thing."

Shane stood up. "I'm sure she'll be talking up a storm before too long." He grinned. "After all, Steve is her father."

Kayla had to laugh at Shane's remark. "She's already got his sense of adventure, so I have a hunch I may be in trouble."

"Hey, Kay . . . I have to show you what I found. It'll be perfect for your new baby," Kim called as she walked into the room with Jeannie. "It's-" She stopped abruptly as she saw Shane standing there.

"Oh. . . ." Kim looked quickly between Kayla and Shane. "I . . . I didn't realize you'd come home," she said to Shane as she put Jeannie down with Stephanie.

"I just got back." He looked at Kayla. "Did I hear right? You're having a baby?"

Kayla glanced at Kim, who responded with an "I'm sorry" shrug. Unable to dodge the question, Kayla said, "Yeah, I . . . I just confirmed it this morning. Steve and I are expecting."

Shane grinned, but there was a guarded look in his eyes. "Congratulations, Kay. I know you and Steve must be thrilled."

Kayla nodded, idly wondering what Shane was holding back. "We are. . . . It's a little unexpected, but we're very happy." She hesitated, then continued. "It's also pretty early, and we haven't really told anyone yet, so please don't say anything for now."

Shane nodded quickly. "Of course." He walked over and kissed Kim on the cheek. "Now, if you two ladies will excuse me, I'll be in the study."

Kayla watched as Kim softly brushed Shane's cheek. The worry and fear were clear in Kim's eyes, despite the small smile on her face. Shane returned the caress, kissed Kim again, and then left the room.

Kim turned back to Kayla. "I'm sorry, Kay. I had no idea Shane was in here. I didn't mean to spill your news before you were ready."

Kayla waved her hand at Kim's apology. "It's fine, Kim. I mean, Steve and I are planning on waiting a little bit to tell everybody . . . just to be safe. But it's not like it's going to be a big secret for long."

Kim grinned. "Yeah, that's not something you can really hide, is it?"

"Unfortunately, not." Kayla remembered how big she had felt in the late stages of her pregnancy with Stephanie. There was nothing as wonderful as feeling your child growing inside of you. But the downside was feeling like you no longer fit in your own body.

"So what did you find for me?" Kayla finally asked. "What will be perfect for the baby?"

Kim laughed. "It's not that big of a deal, really. I just found the baby carrier I used when Jeannie was little. I guess it's not quite as exciting as I made it sound."

Kayla smiled. "Well, I don't have hardly anything from when Stephanie was a newborn, so I'll be happy to use whatever you've got."

"Good." Kim sat back down on the couch and Kayla joined her again. "And since we have some time this afternoon, I think it's a perfect time to start planning a shopping trip."

Kayla shook her head. "This baby isn't even going to be here for another seven months or so."

"Well then, we better get started. There's not a minute to waste." Kim put her arm around Kayla, who just chuckled softly and leaned into her sister. She was not sure if Kim was serious or just trying to take their minds off the danger that seemed to surround them. But, either way, Kayla was not going to fight it.

"All right, Kimmie. Let's start planning."


	484. Chapter 484

Steve pulled his car into the Spectator parking lot and turned the engine off. He caught a glance of himself in the rearview mirror and could see he still had a silly grin on his face.

He had not been able to stop smiling since Neil had confirmed that Kayla was pregnant that morning. It had meant everything in the world to him that Kayla had told him about her home pregnancy test the previous night, but having it confirmed made it all the more real.

He was still lost in thought as he made his way toward the Spectator building. He remembered how Kayla has asked him if he wanted a boy or a girl. Steve had answered truthfully - he didn't really care either way. As long as the baby was healthy, he would be happy.

Yet, as he thought about it some more, he could not ignore the little voice in his head telling him he really wanted a son. He loved Stephanie so much it took his breath away and if they had another girl, Steve knew he would love her just as much.

And it was not about some desire to pass on the family name. There had to be millions of Johnsons in the world, so it was not like the name would disappear. Plus, his own family history was nothing he wanted to pass on to his children.

No, this unbidden but undeniable desire for a son was probably just some typical male thing, Steve figured. He wanted the rough-and-tumble boy he could teach to throw a football or swing a baseball bat or play pool. Not that he wouldn't do those things with Stephanie if she was interested. He would never favor one of his kids over the other.

He opened the main door of the Spectator and walked in. In just a few months, Stephanie would be the older sister, just as he was the older brother in his family. He cast his eye upward and gave silent thanks that Stephanie would have a far different relationship with her siblings than Steve had with his.

Not that it was so bad now, of course. But it had been a long and rocky road. He had envied, and in a way still did, the comfortable closeness between Kayla and her siblings. Even when they fought, that underlying love and connection was very apparent.

Steve knew that he and Adrienne had been able to develop that kind of relationship. He also knew that it was unlikely he and Jack ever would. He loved his brother and knew that Jack loved him. But there was too much history for the easy camaraderie that he observed with the Brady siblings to ever exist between him and Jack.

Steve looked up and realized he had reached Jack's office. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself, he knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for a response.

Jack was sitting at his desk reading and did not appear to notice that Steve had entered.

"Jackson?" Steve called out.

Steve's voice clearly startled Jack, who dropped the pencil in his hand, knocked over the pen holder on his desk, and nearly fell out of his chair. When he finally gathered himself, he stammered, "Steve . . . hi. . . . What are you doing here?"

Steve plopped down in the chair beside Jack's desk. "I could pretend I just stopped by to say 'hi'," Steve said with a cheeky grin. "But then I'd be lyin'. I need you to do me a favor, Jack."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "What kind of favor?"

"Nothin' dangerous, don't worry." Steve leaned forward. "I need you to do some investigating and find out who bought the old Jencon refinery site when it was put in foreclosure."

"That shouldn't be too hard to figure out," Jack said, making a note on a yellow pad. Then he looked up. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you need that information."

Steve just smiled. "You're a smart guy, Billy Jack. I'm pretty sure you can figure it out."

Jack leaned back in his chair and let out a low whistle. "It's getting serious, isn't it?"

The smile left Steve's face as he nodded. "Yeah, it is. I really can't tell you anything more, but I also really need you to get that information. Will you do it?"

Jack took a deep breath and nodded. "Of course." He paused. Steve felt like Jack was contemplating something before he spoke again. "I . . . I have some information, but I don't know what it means or if it's important."

That caught Steve's attention. "What's that?"

"I have some sources down at the docks. Nothing big really, just some people who sometimes tip me off if there's a story brewing down there."

Steve nodded, trying to be patient while Jack got to the point.

"I got a call from one of them recently. He said that there were a several new ships coming into the harbor, but that they never seem to dock on any of the piers."

Steve quirked his eyebrow. "What kind of ships?"

Jack shrugged. "Just small freighters, I guess. But this guy said that nobody knows where they are loading or unloading cargo. They just come in and drop anchor, and then they're gone the next day."

"How many ships have there been?"

"I don't know," Jack replied. "But it sounds like at least two or three." Jack looked at Steve. "Do you think it has anything to do with Alamain?"

Steve shook his head. "I really don't know. But it might be something worth checking out. Can you give me any information on your source?"

Jack hesitated and Steve pressed. "Come on, Jack. I know you're going to tell me that a reporter never reveals his sources, but this is important." He took a deep breath. "It could be life or death."

Jack sighed. "I know. That's not really the problem. The thing is that I don't really know this guy. He just calls me and I send cash to a post office box."

"What's the name on the post office box?" Steve asked, fairly sure it was going to be completely unhelpful.

"John Smith," Jack said, confirming Steve's suspicions.

"Great." Steve ran his hand over his face. "Did the guy at least tell you what part of the harbor the ships were stopping in?"

Jack nodded. "That's actually what made me think of them when you mentioned the old refinery. The guy said the ships were dropping anchor just offshore from the refinery site."

That makes it all officially suspicious, Steve thought to himself. Looking at Jack, he said, "Thanks, Jack. I'll check into it and see what I can find out."

Steve stood up and headed for the door. He was halfway there when Jack called out to him. Steve stopped and turned back to his brother.

"I know you won't tell me anything and I guess I even understand why," Jack said softly. "But I'm asking . . . as your brother . . . something's going to happen soon, isn't it?"

Steve did not answer at first. He knew he couldn't tell Jack all of their suspicions. He couldn't trust Jack not to put it in the paper and cause a panic. As much as Steve might want to, Shane and John were right. That would just send Lawrence underground and cause them to miss their one chance at getting him.

Yet, Steve also could not directly lie to his brother. Jack and Jennifer were potential targets. Finally, he sighed and walked back towards Jack. "If all goes as planned, nothing is going to happen at all, and you just might get a good story when it's all over. But, until then . . . just be extra careful, Jack."

Jack stared at Steve for a moment and then finally nodded. "All right." He glanced downward and, clearly trying to sound casual, asked, "Do you think it would be a good time for Jennifer to go visit her father?"

Steve chuckled slightly. "If you can convince her to go, more power to you. But I have a hunch you won't get very far."

Jack chuckled as well. "You're probably right." He picked up the yellow pad from his desk. "I'll get going on the information on the refinery right away. And I'll be in touch if I get any other information that might be of interest to you."

"Thanks again, Jack." Steve turned back toward the door and stopped again. "Oh, and if you can't reach me at home, you can try and get me at Shane Donovan's house."

Jack looked at Steve curiously, but just nodded. Steve smiled at his brother's restraint and turned and walked out the door. It was time to go pick up Kayla. He had some baby names to try out on her.


	485. Chapter 485

Kim brushed the hair from her face and tried to catch her breath. She rolled over and laid her head on Shane's still-heaving chest. The bedsheet loosely covered their bodies and their legs tangled together beneath it.

"What a wonderful way to start the day," she said, when her breathing finally slowed.

Shane chuckled and brushed his hand across her cheek. "You'll get no argument from me on that."

Kim smiled against Shane's chest and closed her eyes. She could not think of anything better than lying in their bed as the morning sunlight streamed through the windows. She tried to focus on that moment, but she could not help but wonder how many of these mornings they had left.

Shane's trial was rapidly approaching, and it appeared that there were only two options remaining. Either Shane's plan to get Lawrence would work and the charges would be dropped, or Shane would be spending years in prison.

She tried to ignore the feeling that enveloped her. It was not the cold that she had felt when Shane was shot, but thinking of Shane's plan still made her shiver. She snuggled even closer to Shane.

He immediately wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her close to his body. "Are you feeling a chill, darling?"

Kim shook her head, but buried her head against his chest and did not speak. She understood why Shane was insisting on taking on Lawrence, but Kim just could not shake the feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong.

After a few moments, Kim felt Shane's hand on her chin, which he tilting up so she would look at him. "What's wrong, Kim?" he asked tenderly.

Kim took a deep breath, trying to control her fears. Her first instinct was to assure Shane that she was fine, to be strong for him. But instead, she told him the truth. "I'm scared, Shane."

"Scared of what?" His hand caressed her back gently.

Kim nearly chuckled at his question. _What am I scared of_?_ Nothing much. Just losing you and everything we finally have together._

"I'm afraid for you and this plan you have to go after Lawrence Alamain." She felt the tears in her eyes, but was powerless to stop them. "I have this feeling . . . this dread . . . like something terrible is going to happen."

He gave her a soft smile, which she knew was designed to comfort her, but he did not understand. She tried to explain.

"That time with Jericho," she said. "That day of the explosion, I had the same the feeling. I had no idea where you were or what was happening, but I just felt like something bad would happen-"

Shane cut her off. "Kim-"

"No, I don't mean it like that, like I want you to give up," she said. "I told you I'd support you, and I know you are doing this so that you can force the ISA to dismiss the charges and stay here with your family." She smiled softly. "And I love you for that. But I can't stop what my heart feels, and my heart tells me that the risk just isn't worth it."

Shane was silent for a moment, but Kim could see the muscles in his jaw working, telling her he was trying to control his emotions. His hand moved to her cheek and he gently caressed her face.

"I wish I could take all your fears away, darling, but I know that I can't." He smiled and the love in his eyes took Kim's breath away. "But you have to trust me when I tell you that the risk is absolutely worth it."

Shane pulled Kim back to his chest and ran his hand through her hair. "Just picture how wonderful it will be when all this nasty business is finished. We'll have Christmas morning here in the house, with Andrew and Jeannie opening their presents." Kim laid her head back on his chest, trying to focus on his words as he continued. "After Christmas, we'll go out and celebrate New Year's Eve. And then we'll have all the time in the world to spend together."

"That sounds wonderful," Kim agreed. "But you can't guarantee that it's ever going to happen. You know what Lawrence Alamain is capable of-"

"Shh," Shane whispered, placing his fingers on her lips. "Don't." He brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "I do know what Alamain is capable of, but I'm not going in alone. John is working with me and you know that we can take care of ourselves and each other."

Kim briefly wondered why Shane had not mentioned Steve, but the thought quickly passed as Shane tilted her face up again and kissed her. The kiss was slow, deep, and full of love and tenderness.

When they parted, Kim was nearly breathless. She stroked Shane's cheek, trying to come up with the words to tell him how much she loved him. Finally, she just softly said, "Promise me you'll be careful. You promised you wouldn't leave me again. I need you to keep that promise."

Shane nodded and smiled. "I have every intention of keeping my word. Nothing is going to stop me from being there for you and our children."

Kim sighed and forced a lighter note to her voice. "Good. I'm going to hold you to that, Captain D." Then her tone grew more serious as she softly said. "I love you with all my heart, you know?"

"I do know," Shane replied, kissing her forehead. "And I love you with all my heart as well. So, when you get scared, just remember that." He smiled. "You have the cameo, right?" When she nodded, he said, "Just hold onto that. As long as you have it, nothing will keep us apart."

With one last kiss, Shane sat up and swung his legs to the side of the bed before standing up. Kim watched silently as he pulled on his robe and made his way towards the master bathroom.

When he had left the room, Kim blinked back some tears. She had to stay strong, but the knot in her stomach had not lessened a bit, despite Shane's words of reassurance. She knew it would be there until whatever he had planned with Lawrence Alamain was over.

_That's the price you pay for falling in love with an ISA agent_, she thought philosophically. And it was a price she would willingly pay for as long as necessary. She had lived her life without Shane and had even convinced herself that it was a satisfactory life. But she knew better now. Without Shane, her life just wasn't complete. In the end, it really was just that simple.

Turning, she reached over to her end-table and pulled open the drawer. Inside was the cameo, which she pulled out and clutched tightly in both hands.

_Okay, Shane_, she said to herself. _I'm holding onto this. _Then she added a silent prayer - that its magic would remain and that as long as she held onto it, nothing could ever keep them apart.


	486. Chapter 486

Steve passed Simmons and headed into the library. Across the room, at his desk, Shane was flipping through a file folder containing notes about Lawrence.

"Anything there you haven't seen in the last 50 times you've looked at it?" Steve asked.

Shane looked up, closed the folder, and stood up. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, well I'm here," Steve said. He looked around and saw that it was just the two of them in the room. "John's not here?"

"He's doing me a favor," Shane replied. "He'll be back soon." His tone suggested that Steve probably should not ask what that favor happened to be.

Instead of asking, Steve nodded. "I'll just wait for him so I don't have to go over this twice." He walked over to the window and looked outside. The sky was a darkening gray and the weather report had said Salem might get sleet or snow later in the day. It made Steve think of a movie where the ominous clouds signaled approaching danger.

"I understand congratulations are in order."

Shane's voice caused Steve to start. He turned around, a bit confused.

"Congratulations," Shane repeated. He had circled the desk. "The baby?"

Steve was momentarily taken aback. It had not dawned on him that anyone knew, but then he realized how stupid that was. Kayla would have told Kim, who, of course, would have told Shane.

"Kayla was here yesterday," Shane said.

For an instant, Steve felt that old resentment begin to rise. _Stop it_, Steve said, feeling like an idiot about his reaction. _Kayla loves me. We're having another child._ Steve smiled and held out a hand. "Thanks, dude."

As they shook hands, Shane's brow furrowed. Steve got the distinct impression he was being examined, before Shane looked away and walked back to the desk.

"What?" Steve asked.

Shane seemed to hesitate then appeared to take a deep breath. "Look, if this changes things," he said. "You don't owe me anything."

_You're wrong about that, Donovan_, Steve said to himself, but he knew better than to argue with Shane about that. "Even if I didn't owe you, I do owe Alamain. We have some unfinished business, so don't you worry about me sitting this one out."

Steve could not read Shane's reaction. He said nothing further, but sat back down and reopened the file folder. Steve was about to ask what Shane was thinking, but the library door opened and John entered.

"Hey, what did I miss?" John asked.

Shane looked at Steve, as if waiting for him to answer first.

Steve decided against mentioning the baby. There were other things to focus on right now. "Nothing, dude. We were waiting for you."

For the first time, Steve noticed that John was carrying a box, which he set down on the edge of the desk. Shane reached over, opened it, pulled out each of the two guns from inside, and examined them before looking back at John. "You didn't have any trouble?"

John shook his head. "Abe agreed that the Salem PD had no basis for keeping them. I'm not sure Roman would agree, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

As Shane took the guns and locked them in his desk, Steve realized that those were the guns Shane had at the hangar. _One of those gun killed Winters_, Steve thought. _And saved my life._

Trying to get his mind back to the present, Steve looked at John. "So did you get anything new?"

John grimaced. "Nope. We're basically still where we were - Lawrence is out there somewhere and he could drop his poison on us at any minute." He looked expectantly at Steve. "What about you?"

"I've got Jack looking into the sale of the refinery site," Steve said. "He said he should find something out today." He glanced at Shane. "And I hope you don't mind, but I told him to try to get me here if I'm not home."

Shane bobbed his head. "That's no problem."

"There is one thing Jack told me about," Steve added. He told them what Jack had mentioned about the unusual ships. That plainly got the other men's attention. "The weird thing is that nobody seems to know where they're docking."

Shane and John exchanged a look. "Cover of darkness?" John asked.

Nodding, Shane said, "If they're using small boats to unload."

"That would be a bitch to do," Steve pointed out. He had spent enough years on ships and hauling freight to know how difficult it would be to do. They would either have to load the boats on deck and then lower the full boats into the water, or they would have to risk transferring the cargo onto a boat already bobbing in the water.

"It may be inefficient," Shane pointed out. "But that would allow them to avoid inspection by a harbor master."

Steve had to admit Shane was right. "Why don't I go down to the docks and ask around. Maybe someone down there's been involved in the offloading and can tell us where they're moving stuff."

A strange look flashed across Shane's face, but it disappeared so quickly that Steve had to wonder if it was just his imagination. Shane shook his head. "No, I need you to do something else for us."

"What do you mean?" Steve began to protest. "The docks are gonna be the best place for information-"

"That may be," Shane said, hesitantly. "But John can ask around the docks. I need you to do . . . to do something else."

Steve scowled, but then he remembered that he had agreed to take Shane's orders. "Fine. . . . What is it?"

"I need you to go to the hospital and snoop around a little," Shane said. "We need to know if there is any unusual activity at the lab-"

"But Kayla's no longer working there." Steve had no idea what point there was to this. Besides, he could do more at the docks.

But Shane was insistent. "If there's any new ISA intelligence, the most likely indication will be at the hospital. That and the Field Office, but I don't think we're getting back in there anytime soon." Apparently seeing Steve's frustration, Shane added, "Look, Steve. . . . Of the three of us, you have the best excuse to be wandering around the hospital and lab. You can say you're just looking for Kayla."

"Why can't you be at an appointment?" Steve asked.

"I could," Shane agreed. "But I can't cover nearly as much as the hospital as you. All I'm asking is for you to scout it out and just see if there's anything to suggest something out-of-the-ordinary is going on."

Steve was still annoyed. "Why not just call Carly and ask her?"

"Johnson. . . ." John's tone was disapproving.

"All right," Steve said, making no attempt to hide his frustration. "I'll do it. I just don't see-" He stopped short. He had agreed to follow orders. With a sigh, he walked over to the coffee pot and began pouting a cup. "I'm just frustrated, all right. It's like we're just sitting here, waiting for Lawrence to make a move. . . . And I hate that all our family and friends are in the dark about thiat."

Finishing with his cup, he turned back and was surprised to see Shane nodding.

"I know how you feel, Steve." Shane looked away for a moment. Then, in a low voice, he confessed, "Last night, I told Kim she should take Andrew and Jeannie and go away for awhile."

Steve's jaw dropped. Hadn't Shane been the one going on and on about how they couldn't tell anyone?

"What did she say?" John asked before Steve could even finish being surprised.

"She refused, of course." Shane looked slightly amused. "She asked me if that's what you were telling Kayla, which, of course, you're not. And when I told her no, she said she wasn't leaving."

Steve felt a little warmth rising in his cheeks. He shuffled from side to side. "Um . . . actually, I kind of suggested the same thing. I told her to see Justin and Adrienne in Texas."

"And what did she say?" Shane asked the question before John could.

"What do you think? She won't 'run away,' and she's a nurse and she'll be needed here if something happens." _That's my Sweetness_, Steve added silently. "I swear. You know how we always hear them talk about how the Brady men are stubborn. I think the Brady women have them beat."

John laughed. "A lot like the Kiriakis women." As Steve and Shane turned to look him, John shrugged. "Guilty as charged. Isabella's not leaving either."

Steve began to chuckle and, a moment later, was joined by Shane, then John. Soon, they were all laughing, the tension lifting momentarily.

In the back of his mind, Steve tried not to think about how crazy this whole situation was. Some madman was about to drop poison on Salem - possibly on their family and friends; they had no idea where Lawrence was; and it was just the three of them because nobody else in Salem knew about the threat.

_And I'm laughing that my pregnant wife wouldn't leave town._

He wondered if Shane and John had just had similar thoughts, because they also abruptly stopped laughing. The tension returned and everyone grew somber. There was nothing funny about this.

Steve looked at Shane, who stared back and then looked to the door. Steve got the message.

With a sigh, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and said, "The hospital, I know. Looking for Kayla, right? I'll let you know if I find anything out."


	487. Chapter 487

"You want to explain that?" John asked after they heard Steve close the front door on his way to the hospital.

"Explain what?" Shane said. He leaned back in his chair.

John raised an eyebrow. When that did not prompt more of a response, he stared at Shane. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You just sent Steve on a pointless errand and I want to know why."

"It wasn't pointless," Shane said. "I told him the reason."

"Anyone could have done that," John pointed out. "Hell, you could've called Kim and asked if she's seen anything unusual."

Shane shook his head. "I'm keeping Kim out of this."

"And now you're keeping Steve out of this too." John gave Shane a knowing look. "So why?"

"You're reading too much into this," Shane protested.

John shook his head. "Cut the BS, partner. I know you too well. There's something you're not saying - some reason why you want Steve out of the picture."

Shane scowled, knowing he was not going to get out of answering. "Fine," he snapped. "It's because of Kayla. She's pregnant."

For a long moment, the room fell silent. John's shock was plain on his face. "When did they-"

"They found out a couple days ago," Shane said. "Look, I overheard and wasn't supposed to say anything, but that's the reason, okay."

John frowned slightly, then shook his head. "Not okay. . . . How does that change anything?"

Shane ran his hand through his hair. "It changes things, John. . . . " Shane knew John would never understand, so he stood up, frustrated, and walked toward the mantle. "I know Steve wants to take down Lawrence, and I understand he has every reason to want that. But what's the point of any of this if he gets killed? What's the point of everything we've been through for the past six months?"

"It's his decision," John said.

"It doesn't have to be. . . ." Shane looked at the pictures of his own family that were spread out over the mantle. _I have to do this_, he said to himself. _Steve doesn't owe me anything._ He turned back to John. "I went to Egypt and I could go to prison because I wanted Kayla to be happy again. That was the whole point of bringing Steve home, and now they're having a child. If I let something happen to Steve now because of me. . . ."

John shook his head. "It's not because of you. Steve's doing this because he feels he has to stop Alamain. And don't tell me you wouldn't be doing the same thing if you were in his shoes."

"I don't care," Shane said. "If I'm going to prison, at least something good will have come of this. So Steve's out. Just let him and Kayla have their happiness."

That seemed to cause John to scowl even more deeply, but he said nothing more. He turned away and walked over to the coffee set, where he picked up the pot in one hand and a cup in another. Then, he set the pot back down without pouring and, as he brought the cup down, it slammed into the silver tray and shattered.

"John?" Shane knew something was wrong and he had the distinct sense that whatever it was had little to do with Steve. "Would you tell me what's going on? You've been acting strange for days."

John continued to scowl. "There's nothing going on. I just slipped." He began picking up pieces of the china. "Sorry about the cup."

Now Shane was growing annoyed. "I don't give a damn about the cup. I want to know what's wrong. Is Roman still giving you problems?"

For a moment, John grew quiet and Shane thought he would open up. But then the pensive look disappeared and John said, "Look, just forget about it, partner. . . . It's nothing." He stopped then said, "Going back to Steve . . . I get where you're coming from, Shane. You've been through hell and you don't want to look back on it and think you failed. I was ISA - or at least I've got memories of being ISA - so I get it. You don't want your mission to be a failure."

Having it described like that made Shane hesitate. He did not know how to respond, but he did not have to, because John continued.

"It wasn't a failure. You brought Steve home and he and Kayla have had this time together and they're having another kid." John stared Shane in the eyes. "But you can't stop Steve from being Steve. He's not a guy you can protect. And if something happens to him, it doesn't mean you failed your mission."

_Is that it_? _Is that what's causing me to want to shield Steve_? Shane had to think about that for a minute. Was he so obsessed with the idea of "his mission" that he thought if something happened to Steve, it would be Shane's failure?

Still, Shane was torn. He was about to say something, but was stopped by the ringing of the telephone. Grimacing at the interruption, he walked back to the desk and, a little more harshly than he intended, barked, "Donovan here."

"Whoa," came a voice that Shane recognized as Jack Devereaux's. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

Shane regained his composure. "It's okay, Jack. What can I do for you?"

"Uh, yeah. . . ." It sounded like Jack was trying to remember why he was calling. "Oh . . . is Steve there? I tried his apartment and he said if I couldn't reach him, I should try your place."

"I know," Shane said. "Steve told me. But he's not here, I'm sorry. He just left."

There was a pause before Jack spoke again. "Darn. I got that information he wanted."

"About the refinery purchase?" Shane asked. That was the only thing he knew Steve had asked Jack to figure out.

"Right," Jack said. "But I probably should just wait to talk to Steve. He was the one who asked me to look into it. And it's probably not particularly important anyway."

_Let me be the judge of that_, Shane thought. He thought about the best way to get Jack to talk. Shane knew Jack had some deep-rooted need to please Steve, so maybe that would be the best approach. "I know you want to tell Steve yourself, but I'll probably see him first. . . . And if it's nothing important, well, maybe it would be better if it came from me." Shane let the suggestion linger - _so he's not disappointed with you_.

There was a brief silence, but then Jack seemed to agree. "That's probably for the best. As I said, it's probably pretty meaningless. All I found out is that the land was purchased by a corporation formed in Delaware last year. It's called 'Jacaranda, Inc.' and-"

But Shane was not listening to the rest of what Jack was saying. _Jacaranda_. His mind flashed to interrogating Steve in the ISA field office a few months earlier. Jacaranda had been the name of the wine that Lawrence was using to smuggle the toxin.

Jack was still speaking, but Shane cut him off. "Thanks, Jack. Look, I've got to go. . . . I'll let Steve know you called." Before Jack could say another word, Shane hung up.

Without hesitating, he found the desk key and unlocked the drawer where he had just put away his guns. He started to pick up both, but then realized he did not have a shoulder holster. It had been lost - or more likely, cut away - when he had been shot.

The momentary reminder caused him to hesitate. _Is this the right thing to do_? _Am I being rash_? He thought of Kim and his children, picturing them in this very room at Christmas in a few weeks. They had almost lost him just a few weeks earlier and now he was risking that they would lose him again.

_You're doing this so you can be there with them_, Shane reminded himself. He was going to stop Lawrence, so he never had to be away from them.

The doubts settled, Shane set down the M9 in the drawer and tucked the smaller handgun into the waistband of his trousers. He was already forming some ideas about how they were going to get onto the refinery property. Then he looked at John again, who was watching him expectantly.

Shane started for the door. "Lawrence bought the refinery site through a shell corporation," Shane explained. "That's where he's hiding."

John nodded. "Okay. So we go scope out the refinery. And Steve?"

Shane almost said he was going to leave Steve at the hospital, but he saw the look in John's eyes and knew he had to give in. "Fine," Shane said, picking up the phone. He dialed the hospital and asked the receptionist to transfer him to Kayla. A moment of waiting proved fruitless, because the receptionist said there was no answer. "Okay," he said. "Can you arrange a message to be given to Steve Johnson, Kayla's husband? It's urgent."

The receptionist agreed and Shane told her to get the message to Kayla or Steve. "Tell Steve that he is needed at the refinery site." Shane tried to think of how to phrase the rest of the message. "And tell him that his . . . His crew will be waiting there."

Hanging up, Shane looked at John, who smiled slightly, but still had a guarded look in his eyes. Before Shane could ask, John said, "Let's go, partner. I think I have some things in my car we can use. Some leftovers from my Salem PD days."

Shane followed John to the door. Whatever was going on, any discussion would have to wait. Right now, they had a date with Lawrence Alamain.


	488. Chapter 488

Steve sighed in frustration as he loitered by the nurses' station closest to the immunology lab. He was doing his best to follow Shane's instructions, but he couldn't help but feeling that he had been sent on a fool's errand.

_How the hell am I supposed to find out of something is going on at the lab_? he asked himself, not for the first time. He could not very well just knock on the door and ask, and it was not like the lab had windows he could peek through.

Unable to come up with any better ideas, Steve had simply roamed around the hospital floor, trying to keep an eye on the lab door to see who was entering and exiting. So far, that had been exactly two people - both assistants that Steve had recognized.

He knew he would have to give up soon. He had more leeway than most people to roam around the hospital, because he was well known at the hospital. Because of Kayla and Marcus, it was not uncommon for him to be hanging around and he had gotten no more than smiles and hellos from the staff so far.

But the longer he lingered, the more curious glances came his way. Even now, he could see one of the security officers on the floor looking his way so he made his way to the pay-phones, picked one up, and pretended to make a call.

_This is ridiculous._ He had promised Shane to follow orders and he was honestly trying. But this really made no sense. He should have been down on the pier checking out the information about the boats.

It wasn't that Steve did not trust John to look into that. It was just that John did not know the people down there, at least not like Steve did. Plus, no matter what name he was using now, John would still be a police officer in the eyes of the Riverfront. That would make the people suspicious and wary.

It was ironic, really. John Black had been revealed as an imposter, a man with no identity, yet to the Riverfront crowd, he would still be an authority figure, someone to be cautious of at all times.

Meanwhile, although Steve had lived on the right side of the law - more or less anyway - for years now and had himself been a police officer and ISA operative, to the people of the Riverfront, he would always be "Patch." They knew him and trusted him.

Steve supposed that should bother him, but it really didn't. He might have a wife and daughter - and another child on the way, he thought to himself - and be living about as middle class a life as existed, but he would always be part of that blue-collar world. He would never forget what it was like to scrape by any way you could. And he would never forget that different rules applied in that world.

Seeing the security officer move down the hall, Steve hung up the phone and sighed. He checked his watch and saw that it was almost noon. Maybe he could catch Kayla and take her to lunch. That would at least keep the morning from being a total loss.

He moved towards the elevators just as the lab door opened and Carly exited. She too was walking towards the elevators and Steve realized he might have finally caught a break.

"Hey, Carly," he said as they both reached the elevator.

She turned in surprised and then smiled. "Hi, Steve. What brings you around these parts?"

Steve just shrugged nonchalantly. "I was looking for Marcus and somebody said he might be on this floor. Apparently, they were mistaken."

Carly just nodded, seeming to accept his explanation. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Steve stepped aside, allowing Carly to enter first, and then followed her.

"Where are you heading?" she asked, her hand poised over the panel.

"First floor," Steve answered. "I'm going to see if my wife will join me for lunch."

"Sounds like fun." Carly smiled. "I'm meeting Bo for lunch myself." She looked up at Steve. "You're welcome to join us. We're just going to Alice's restaurant."

"That would be great." Steve kept his voice casual. "I guess things must not be too crazy at the lab if they are letting you out for lunch these days."

Carly nodded. "We seem to be between big projects right at the moment, so I actually get to work decent hours again." She grinned. "I plan on enjoying that while I can."

"Did they hire a new administrator yet?" Steve could not help but ask.

He saw Carly frown slightly and then she shook her head. "No. And I don't think they are planning on looking for the time being. Neil and Jordan are still so mad at the ISA, they don't want to admit defeat by actually replacing Kayla."

Steve remained silent. He was still kicking himself for getting Kayla fired. Not only because of the impact on her, but because it eliminated a source inside the lab. Had he not been so careless and reckless, they would know exactly what was going on in the lab right now.

They rode in silence the rest of the way to the first floor. When the doors opened, Carly stepped out and Steve followed. Steve told her he would check with Kayla and then meet her and Bo at Alice's as soon as he could.

As Carly left, Steve made his way to the Trauma Center. He thought about calling Shane, but decided it could wait. After all, he had nothing to report. Although at least now he could report that the nothing also included the lack of any sense of urgency at the lab. He shook his head again. Two hours roaming around the hospital and he had gotten all his information from a two-minute conversation.

Oh well. At least he was going to get to see his beautiful wife and, with any luck, get to enjoy a nice lunch with her and Bo and Carly. But when that was over, he definitely intended to have a conversation with Shane Donovan. If the good captain wanted someone to play errand boy, he was going to have to find somebody else.


	489. Chapter 489

Shane pulled the tattered overcoat more tightly around his body to ward off the freezing cold, but then got a whiff of the stench it was emitting. "Did you have to give me the coat that smells like dead fish?"

John shrugged, peering out from under the floppy hat he had pulled out of his bag of disguises. "Sorry 'bout that. I always wanted to look the part when I went undercover-"

"Smell the part's more like it," Shane muttered.

"Well, bums in Salem do hang out around the pier and docks," John pointed out. His teeth chattered and he looked around toward the street. "Dammit, where the hell is Steve? He should've been here by now."

_He should have been here well before now_, Shane thought. He was baffled. His message should have reached Steve or Kayla nearly an hour ago. In that time, Shane and John had gathered these disguises, had made sure they had Shane's tools, had driven to the refinery site, and had punched a hole through the tarp-like material that covered the chain-link fence surrounding the property. And they had sat in the freezing cold for at least 30 minutes, searching for some signs of activity.

"I don't get it," John said, apparently reading Shane's thoughts. "The ships dropping anchor near this site, the name being the same as Lawrence's winery cover. . . . It can't just be a false lead."

"It's not." Shane was certain. Lawrence's base of operations was here. _But where_? All they could see from their current location were a couple of seemingly unoccupied trailers. The ruins of the refinery had been cleared away as part of Lawrence's "good citizen" campaign when he arrived in Salem. He lifted the binoculars again and looked at the three trailers once more.

Nothing.

"We need to get closer," he said.

John shook his head. "Not until Steve gets here."

Normally, Shane was the one who preached patience, but he was struggling to control his frustration. "Let me call the hospital again." They had driven John's car, which had a phone inside.

Stumbling under the bulky coat, Shane headed back to the car. He debated just saying forget it. He did not want Steve involved in the first place, but then he remembered what John had said.

_He's right. You can't protect Steve._

Once he reached the car, Shane dialed the hospital. The receptionist assured him that she had forwarded a message for Kayla to the Trauma Center, but had no idea where Kayla or Steve might be. After asking her again to attempt to get the message through, he hung up.

After debating what to do next, Shane decided to make one more call. He dialed the number for the Spectator and asked for Jack Devereaux. A minute later, Jack answered.

"Shane, what's up, my friend?"

Setting aside the desire to debate that point, Shane asked, "Have you heard from Steve?"

"Nope," Jack replied. "I thought you were best buds these days."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been able to reach him, so I need you to do me a big favor, Jack." Shane hesitated, hating how that even sounded. "Look . . . Steve's supposed to be over at University Hospital. I need you to go find him and tell him what you told me about Jacaranda Inc."

He could almost hear the wheels spinning in Jack's head. "So that Jacaranda thing means something?"

"Don't ask questions, Jack," Shane warned. "Just get over to the hospital and find Steve. Tell him we're waiting for him. He'll know what that means."

"I could help too," Jack said.

Shane knew that was coming. "Jack . . . listen to me. . . . Just do what I said and then go about your normal business. You really can't help. Trust me." When he got no response, Shane added, "Remember how you wanted to help me after writing that article? This is how you can help - find Steve, tell him about Jacaranda, and then stay out of it."

Grudgingly, Jack said, "All right. I'll go right now."

Hanging up, Shane pulled the coat tight around himself and headed back to where John was still crouched by the hole in the fence covering. As he approached, he saw that John had the binoculars and was focused on something on the other side of the fence. Apparently hearing Shane approach, John waved his arm, beckoning Shane forward.

"We've got movement," John said.

Shane dropped to his knees and took the binoculars from John. Looking through them, he spotted what had caught John's attention. Several figures were crossing the empty site, heading toward the river. A few appeared to be carrying suitcases.

"Where did they come from?" Shane asked.

"Out of that trailer," John said, pointing to one of the buildings. "There must be more to the place than that. All those people . . . we would've seen them."

Shane thought about that. "Something underground, maybe?"

"Probably." John must have then remembered why Shane had left. "You get Steve?"

"No. Nobody's seen him at the hospital." Shane wondered momentarily if Steve might have gone to the docks instead of doing what he had promised. That would be the kind of rogue move Steve might do, but he had assured Shane he would do what he was told to. "I don't know what's going on, but I sent Jack to find him."

"Jack?" John sounded dubious. "You sure about that?"

Shane chuckled. "I don't think I had much choice." He raised the binoculars again and studied the figures. From their location, they could not see the bank of the river. It was possible there was a launch there, which would explain why only two of the figures seemed to be returning to the trailer. Shane zoomed the image closer on the two men.

"That's Ivan Marais," he said.

"Alamain's man?"

Shane nodded. He looked around again, hoping to see Steve approaching, but it was still just the two of them.

"We can't wait," he said. "We can follow Marais. He'll lead us right to Lawrence."

"What about Steve?" John asked, but Shane was already rooting through his tool bag for the wire cutters.

Finding them, he pulled them out and began snipping away at the metal of the fence. As the links gave way, forming a hole through which they could pass, Shane shrugged.

"He'll just have to meet us inside."


	490. Chapter 490

Lawrence was growing bored of waiting. It had been close to a week since the chamber had been declared operational and the video equipment had become operational. Both the decoy gas and the new toxin had been stockpiled and were ready to deploy on Lawrence's command. Everything was in place, and Lawrence's impatience was mounting.

"I assure you, Herr Alamain, that we just need to confirm a few final matters," Dr. Schreiner was saying.

Lawrence looked across the table in the cramped room he was using for his personal space. It was nothing like his villa in Alamainia, where he could look out at the wide expanse of ocean. This room reminded him of his prison cell and he wanted to be gone soon. Lawrence decided it was time to terminate this conversation.

"Dr. Schreiner. . . . Do you recall my giving you a deadline?"

The doctor swallowed, then nodded.

"If I recall, that deadline was the first of December, was it not?"

Schreiner nodded.

"And what is today's date?"

"The seventh of December," Schreiner said.

Lawrence smiled. "That is correct. At this point, we know the toxin is lethal and it can be distributed as intended. I do not believe further tests are in order." _Not if I'm to have the bidding next week as planned._ "Therefore, I believe your services on this project are no longer required."

Schreiner's eyes widened in fear, causing Lawrence to laugh. The doctor must have been thinking about how Lawrence handled others that he no longer required.

"Oh please, Dr. Schreiner. I still may need your services so you need not fear for your safety." Lawrence turned to Ivan, who was standing in the doorway. "Ivan, please see that Dr. Schreiner and his assistants are taken to one of our secure facilities." Looking back at Schreiner, Lawrence explained, "We can't have the ISA or other authorities finding you near Salem. They may seek to use your talents to undermine our efforts."

Ivan stepped forward and put a hand on Schreiner's shoulder. The doctor nodded, a bit nervously, Lawrence noted, and then followed Ivan out of the room.

Lawrence leaned back in his chair and thought. With the scientists gone, this facility was down to a skeleton crew. He had Ivan, the two audio-visual technicians who took 12-hour shifts monitoring the cameras placed around the refinery site, and two retainers from Alamainia who would prove useful when it came time to deploy the toxin. Other than that, Lawrence had a small security team whose services he had obtained from Rafi Torres. They seemed like typical American barbarians, but they served their function. They patrolled the site occasionally and watched for trespassers and law enforcement. But Torres' men had no idea what was taking place just under their feet. They simply took their instructions through the camera technician, who they had been told was monitoring the site from a remote location.

Ivan returned a few minutes later. "Gregor and Hans are removing Dr. Schreiner and his assistant." He paused. "You do want them to leave safely, sir?"

"I do," Lawrence said. "Send them to Alamainia to my villa. Once the demonstration is complete here, we may need them to furnish specific details to our buyers. And perhaps we can find other uses for them. Alamain Industries could always use top scientists."

As Ivan left to escort the scientists from the compound, Lawrence thought through the latest information he had received. Jack and Jennifer Devereaux were both in Salem, but they were not working together. He had to make sure he found a way to get them together at the appointed time.

Then there was Shane Donovan. He had been seen briefly in town, at Alice Horton's restaurant, but mostly seemed to be holed up at his house. Seizing the man from the house posed a dilemma. Lawrence wanted Donovan, but such a brazen act would risk discovery.

_It needs to be something more subtle. Perhaps, I can entice him with some noble cause. Let him think he has a chance to be a hero._ That seemed to be Donovan's main aim in life. But what could that be? Lawrence needed to think quickly. Time was of the essence.

Ivan returned and rapped lightly on the door. Lawrence looked up to see a slight expression of concern on the other man's face.

"What is it, Ivan?"

"The video technician has identified two men who just entered the property," he said.

Lawrence shrugged. "Why should that be of any concern?"

"I believe they may have seen me with Dr. Schreiner." Ivan swallowed. Obviously, he knew Lawrence would be displeased by that report. He explained further. "I just put the doctor and his assistants into a boat to take them from here. I did not anticipate-"

"No, of course, you didn't." Lawrence stood up abruptly and stormed out of the room to the control room where the technician had locked a camera on the two men.

"Looks like a pair of bums," the technician said.

Lawrence frowned. That was hard to believe. He walked toward the monitor and looked at it. The two men were at a bit of a distance and wore long coats and hats.

"Is that all these cameras can do?" Lawrence snapped. "For all I'm paying you, can't you provide a closer image?"

The technician nodded quickly. He punched a few buttons, did something with the computer, and the picture zoomed into the men.

Now that Lawrence could get a closer look, he understood the technician's thinking. The coats the men wore looked ragged and had patches all over them. One of the men stumbled a little, suggesting he was not entirely sober.

_Maybe they are just a couple of vagrants_, Lawrence said to himself.

_You don't believe that for a minute_, came another small voice.

No, he didn't. It was far too much of a coincidence that the two men had somehow made their way through the fence around the abandoned refinery just as Ivan was exposed.

"Go closer," Lawrence ordered.

The technician punched a few more buttons. "The image may be fuzzy, sir. This is very heavily magnified. I could try to get a different camera-"

"No," Lawrence said, cutting the man off. The blurry image had materialized on screen and, despite being less than clear, it still revealed the men's faces.

Lawrence began to laugh. A moment ago, he had been racking his brain to find a way to draw Shane Donovan out of the safety of his home. Now the man was right on the screen in black-and-white.

Turning to Ivan, Lawrence said, "Mobilize our security unit. Make sure they capture Donovan alive and then you must bring him to me."

Ivan gave a curt nod. "Yes, sir." Then he glanced at the screen. "And the other man?"

Lawrence looked again at the screen, this time focusing on the image of the former Roman Brady. What was the name he was using now? John Black.

_He's nothing._

"Bring Donovan to me," Lawrence said. "Meanwhile, direct our Torres family friends to eliminate Mr. Black."


	491. Chapter 491

"I knew you should have let me drive," Steve grumbled as he hunched his shoulders against the wind and sleet.

Kayla chuckled. Thanks to her warm coat, gloves, and umbrella, the weather was not bothering her at all. She had been surprised when Steve had shown up at the Trauma Center and told her about joining Bo and Carly for lunch. Luckily, the Center had been slow and she had been able to leave. Now, after a delicious lunch, she was enjoying the brisk walk back to the hospital.

Clearly, the same could not be said for Steve. "Aww, is the cold getting to my tough guy husband? If you'd join me under the umbrella it wouldn't be so bad."

Steve cast a sideways glance, ducked under the umbrella, wrapped his arm around Kayla's shoulder, and pulled her close. "You're right, Sweetness," he said, kissing her cheek. "This is much better."

Their pace slowed as they huddled close together. "I still think it would have been better for you if I had driven," Steve repeated. "You shouldn't be out in this weather in your condition."

Kayla rolled her eyes. "I'm pregnant, Steve, not sick. Besides, it's only a few blocks and exercise is good for me."

Steve grumbled something she could not quite make out over the sounds of the wind and sleet, but which made it clear he did not agree with her logic. Kayla again chuckled softly. She was sure that Steve's protective instincts were going to be on high alert until the baby was born. Part of her loved that. The other part of her knew he was going to drive her crazy along the way.

It had only been a few days since she had found out she was pregnant, but Kayla was already relishing the changes she was feeling. While she did not welcome the morning sickness, she knew it was simply a sign of her child growing within her.

When she had been pregnant with Stephanie, each little change was a something new and unknown. This time, she knew what to expect and that allowed her to enjoy and anticipate it in a different way. And, this time, she and Steve were together and could share those moments. That was something they had missed with Stephanie.

After a few minutes walk, they reached the relative protection of the covered entrance to University Hospital. Shaking the sleet off the umbrella, Kayla folded it and entered through the automatic doors with Steve close behind her.

"Ahhh," Steve sighed, wiping the moisture from his face. "Finally someplace warm and dry."

Before Kayla could tease him further, she heard a voice calling Steve's name. She turned and saw Jack walking rapidly towards them. As always, she pushed down the automatic flash of discomfort she felt when she saw Jack.

"What's up, Billy Jack," Steve said as Jack reached them.

"Did you talk to Shane?" Jack asked, sounding a little out of breath.

"No." Steve looked curiously at Jack. "Should I have?"

Jack's eyes narrowed slightly. "Well, I called him a while ago. I-" Jack glanced at Kayla. "I got the information you wanted."

Kayla felt her pulse quicken at Jack's words. She was sure this had something to do with Alamain.

Steve stepped closer and lowered his voice. "What did you find out, Jack?"

Again Jack glanced at Kayla, but she could see Steve just nod for Jack to continue. "I found out the name of the company that bought the refinery site. It was a company called Jacaranda, Inc."

Kayla did not miss Steve's reaction to Jack's news. She could tell he recognized that name. But something told her she should not ask about it in front of Jack.

Steve turned to Kayla. "I need to go call Shane, Sweetness." Kayla nodded, but before Steve could move Jack reached out his hand and stopped him.

"Wait, Steve."

"Wait for what, Jack?" Steve asked, clearly irritated by the delay.

"Shane's not home," Jack replied. "He called me a little while ago and asked me to find you. He told me to tell you about Jacaranda, Inc., and then said to tell you that 'we're waiting for him.'" Jack shrugged. "He said you would know what that means."

Kayla's blood ran cold at the combination of Jack's words and the serious look on Steve's face.

"Thanks, Jack," Steve said quietly. Then he turned to Kayla. "I've gotta go, Sweetness."

"I can come with you." Jack looked hopeful. "I-"

"No," Steve said. "What you need to do is go back to work and keep your eyes open. I'll be in touch if I get any information that you need to know."

Jack looked taken aback for a moment, but then he sighed. "All right. I'll be at the office if you need me."

Steve nodded and then stuck out his hand. "Thanks again."

Jack looked surprised and then gave a wry grin. Shaking Steve's hand, he said, "I'm not sure what I did, since nobody will tell me anything, but you're welcome." Then he nodded to Kayla and headed out the door.

Steve turned back to Kayla. "Sorry to run off, baby, but it sounds like Shane and John need me."

"I know." Kayla tried to control the fear that threatened to overwhelm her. "Please be careful, Steve." Her hand unconsciously traveled to her stomach. "We need you."

Steve smiled, leaned down, and kissed her softly. "I'll be back before you can miss me." He kissed her again and then walked toward the door. Just before he reached it he stopped and turned back. He stared at her for a moment, before he smiled and offered a little wave. Then, with one last look, he turned and hurried out of the hospital.

Kayla stood rooted to the spot for several long moments. A tear slid down her face as she stared at the door. Finally, she willed herself to move and began to slowly walk towards the Trauma Center. With each step she said a silent but fervent prayer that Steve would return to her safe and sound.


	492. Chapter 492

"You okay, partner?"

From his crouched position, Shane glanced at John and nodded. "I'm fine," he said, though he took the moment to slow his breathing and wish he could dump the bulky coat. Unfortunately, it was far too cold to do that. The sleet was coming down faster than before, stinging at their faces as they huddled down.

Next to him, John raised the binoculars again. They had paused at the top of a small slope that rose above the main refinery grounds. It gave them some cover from view of the trailers. Shane waited as John wiped the sleet away from the binoculars and studied the landscape.

"They went into the middle trailer," John said. "What's weird is that the light went on for about a minute, then went out."

"And they didn't come out?" Shane asked.

John shook his head. "You thinking what I'm thinking, partner?"

Shane suspected he was. "If you're thinking Lawrence is hiding underground, then, yes, I have the same thought."

John chuckled. "Guess someone at City Hall hasn't been paying attention to the building out here." He turned to Shane. "So what do we do now?"

"We know Marais is in there," Shane said. He debated their options. They could go in now, maybe catch Lawrence by surprise. Or they could wait for Steve. That would be the prudent course.

The only problem is that they had no idea what might be underground. For all they knew, it could be a network of tunnels like Lawrence had at his estate in Alamainia. Maybe Marais was getting away as they waited here.

"Partner?"

Shane made his decision. "Let's go a little closer. Maybe we can spot something and maybe Steve will get here by then.

Together, they slid down the rise and made their way across the now-slippery ground. They were completely exposed to anyone keeping a lookout from the trailers, but there was no way of avoiding that. The trailers had been placed in a clearing. No matter what direction they chose for their approach, they would be visible.

_Let's just hope nobody's watching_, Shane thought, but the alarm bells were sounding in his head.

"I don't like the look of this," John muttered.

Shane had to agree. "I don't either." He looked around, but saw no movement. Still, he reached into the coat pocket where he had stashed his pistol and pulled it out. John followed suit. They started to creep forward toward the trailers again, but Shane stopped as he heard the whining sound of an engine.

"You hear that?" Shane asked. He and John both spun around in the direction of the increasingly louder sound. Two jeeps were bearing down on them.

"Get down!" Shane yelled as the first shots rang out. He dove to the side, then started scrambling on his hands and knees back toward the rise. Ignoring the cold, he threw off the bulky coat so it would be easier to run.

They both knew it was impossible to outrun the vehicles, but maybe the rise would give them a more defensible position.

A bullet whizzed by their heads and John growled, "They're not playing."

_No, they're not_, Shane said silently to himself. This was not one of Lawrence Alamain's special effects. Those were real bullets.

They reached the slope and John raced up its face. Shane was only a little behind. The air was burning his lungs and he could feel the dizziness coming on, but he pushed himself until he reached the top. Falling to the ground, he twisted around and aimed his gun at the oncoming jeeps.

His first shot hit the front, driver's-side tire of the lead vehicle. The jeep skidded on the wet, slick ground and fishtailed sideways. The second jeep clipped the rear of the first and it too came to a sudden stop.

"Nice shooting, Tex," John said, even as he continued to fire on the vehicles to keep the men inside pinned down.

Shane fired a couple of times when he saw someone starting to climb out, but he had realized that he only had the single clip in his gun. "How are you on ammo?" he asked John.

"Not good." John stopped firing to reload. "Just have this one clip left. You?"

"Think I've got eleven shots." Shane cursed himself for not planning this out better. He had not expected a firefight, but he still should have come prepared. He looked down at the men, who had managed to get a door open on the first jeep and were using it as a shield. A few new shots rang out and Shane had to duck his head.

"We need to get out of here," John said.

Shane knew that, but he also knew there was no chance they both could make it out. "They'll nail us before we reach the fence," he said. "You go. I can keep you covered."

John shook his head. "No way. I'm not leaving you here." He fired another round at a man who started to come around the door. The man fell back, shrieking. "That's one down."

"We can't take them all," Shane said, trying to reason with John.

"I don't care," John snapped. "Look, someone's probably heard the shooting, so we should get some help soon."

_So just hold out long enough._ That seemed like their best plan. He raised his head again and looked at the jeeps. Three men seemed to be firing from the first jeep with Kalashnikovs. He could see no movement in the second. _That's funny_, he thought, but a barrage of fire from the first jeep sent him back to the ground for cover.

The heavy barrage continued, preventing either of them from even moving.

"Shane. . . ." John's voice sounded nervous.

"I'm still here," Shane said.

John took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something - in case I don't make it."

"Don't even talk like that," Shane shot back. "We're going to get out of this." _I wish I had some idea how._

"Isabella's pregnant."

Shane jerked his head to the side toward John. Over the sound of the gunfire, he was not completely sure he had heard John correctly. "What?"

"She's pregnant," John repeated, increasing his volume so he could be heard over the barrage. "That's what I wasn't telling you. She's gonna have a kid. And if I don't make it out of here, I need you to tell her that I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen-"

"Would you just shut the hell up," Shane shouted. "You're getting out of here."

At that moment, Shane realized the barrage had ceased. He knew it was just a momentary pause, but he used the moment to raise his head and look down at the jeep. He could still see the three men crouched around the first jeep, but the second one remained silent and empty. Then it hit him why it had seemed funny before and he realized what that meant.

_Oh, damn_!

Shane twisted his head around just in time to spot the three men that had used the cover-fire from the first jeep to come around from behind. They were surrounded now, with no avenue of escape.

"Drop your weapons," said one of the men.

John must have realized what had happened also, because Shane heard a bitter curse from his friend. He looked at Shane and shrugged, then tossed his pistol aside. Shane did the same.

"On your feet with your hands up," the man ordered. He was holding another Kalashnikov and looked like he had an itchy trigger finger. Shane figured they had no choice but to comply.

The man studied them and then spoke into a walkie-talkie. "Central, we've got them." There was a squawk, and Shane heard someone say, "Hold for further instructions."

They stood there as the men tied their hands behind their backs with some rope from the first jeep. The sleet stung Shane's face as stood there and, for the first time since he had begun running, he could feel the cold again. He tried to ignore it, but without a coat, the ice seemed to seep through his wet clothes, chilling his bones as they waited for whatever was to happen next.

"We've got more company," John muttered, motioning to his left. Shane followed his gaze and saw some familiar figures approaching.

The first was Ivan Marais. The other two were the guards from Alamain's villa who had caught Shane in Lawrence's room.

The men holding him and John did nothing until Marais and the other man arrived. Marais took a look at Shane and grinned. "Ah, Captain Donovan. My boss is so pleased that you chose to visit."

"Yeah, well Lawrence's hospitality seems a bit lacking these days," Shane said, trying not to let his teeth chatter.

Marais chuckled. "Oh, you're about to get a very good sense of Mr. Alamain's hospitality. You've made his life far easier than he had planned. Now he does not even have to find a way to capture you and bring you here. You've done it all for him."

"That's me," Shane muttered. "Eager to please. . . . But if your boss wants me, then let John go."

"Ah, that's right," Marais said. "It's Mr. Black now, isn't it? It's no longer Commander Brady." He studied John for a moment and then looked back at Shane. "But I'm sorry, allowing Mr. Black to go is not part of my instructions." To the men from the jeeps, Marais, said, "Take Mr. Black down by the river and take care of him. Make sure the body is weighted enough that it stays hidden for at least a week."

"NO!" Shane shouted. He started forward, but two of the men grabbed him and held him back. John was struggling also, but three men began shoving him toward the river.

As John was bing pushed, he yelled over his shoulder, "Remember what I said, partner. Tell Isabella."

"Please," Shane begged Marais. "Just hold him until you're done with whatever you're doing and then let him go." Shane had no fear for his own safety. "This isn't his fight."

"It became his fight when he joined you, Captain Donovan." Marais leaned to the ground and picked up Shane's and John's guns. Then he turned to his two Alamainia guards. "We will take Captain Donovan from here." To the other men, he said, "Clean up this mess and make sure there are no signs that these men were here. We should be expecting the police at any time."

The two men from Alamainia grabbed Shane by the arms and began to drag him down the slope. He tried to fight them, hoping they might slip and give him room to escape, but they only grasped him more tightly. The taller of the guards looked at Marais, who sighed and then nodded. Shane felt the guards tense.

Then something struck the back of his head. His vision blurred, and he had the distinct sensation of flying - or falling - as he tumbled down the slope before the world went completely black.


	493. Chapter 493

Steve heard the shooting as he climbed out of his car, having stopped beside the fence surrounding the refinery. Instinctively, he knew Shane and John were in trouble. He cursed himself for not having a gun handy, but that was not going to stop him from helping.

Sleet pelting his face, he ran to the fence, but there was no way to see what was happening on the other side. The slick black covering blocked his view and there was enough barbed and electrical wire on the top that he knew he was not going over the fence. But if Shane and John were on the other side, they must have found a way through - or made their own.

The gunshots continued as Steve sprinted along the length of the fence looking for an opening. _At least, I knew they're still alive_, he thought, even as he cursed them for not waiting for him. Steve intended to tear Shane a new one - first for wasting Steve's time and, second, for running off after Lawrence without him. _Unless that was the whole idea_, Steve said to himself. After all of their arguments about Steve's involvement, Shane was just stubborn enough to find his own way of keeping Steve on the side. "I'll kill him if that's the case," Steve muttered. Then he silently added that he hoped Shane would be alive for Steve to do it.

He could not hear any more shots, as he rounded the corner. _There_. About 100 feet from the corner, he saw a tear in the black covering and the sheeting blowing in the harsh wind. He found a hole cut in the fence and slipped through. The sleet continued to rain down on him, making it hard to see in the distance. He thought he could make out some people ahead, so he headed in their direction.

Doing his best to maintain his footing and stay out of sight, he spotted a group surrounding John. Two men had guns on him as a jeep came up what Steve assumed was a slope and came to a stop next to them. One of the gunmen motioned for John to climb inside and then followed John into the jeep. Then another jeep drove up the slope. The remaining men got into that one. The men in the two jeeps exchanged words, but Steve could not hear them over the pounding sleet and the wind. Then the jeep without John began heading toward the main gate of the refinery site, while the jeep with John began heading toward the river.

In the back of his mind, Steve noted that he had seen no sign of Shane, but he shunted the thought aside. John needed his help. Slipping and sliding, he chased the jeep, which, thankfully, had to move slowly across the slick and increasingly icy ground.

The jeep came to stop about 50 yards from the river. The two men climbed out and began checking their pistols. Steve was still too far away to help, so he pushed himself faster. His heart was pounding as he ran and his lungs burned from the effort. He was getting closer.

One of the men walked to the back door of the jeep and pulled it open. He waved his hand and John slowly got out, awkwardly, because his hands were tied behind his back. He and the man exchanged some words before the man grabbed John's arm and shoved him forward. John fell to the ground, before the two men pulled him back to his feet and began dragging him to the water.

The one good thing was that John was not making it easy for them, so they had to move slowly. Steve had reached the jeep already and was closing the gap quickly. He crouched behind the jeep and watched them, knowing that he had no cover once he ran forward. But he had no choice. The men were nearly at the river. Steve began running again.

Having reached the water's edge, the men shoved John forward. He fell to the ground again, the water lapping around his knees. Steve was getting close enough to hear them and he heard John tell them that his friends would find them.

The man laughed and said it would be far too late. "Nobody will find you until your bloated corpse bobs up in a few weeks." He and the other man raised their guns.

"Not exactly," Steve yelled, as he launched himself at them. The men spun around, just in time for Steve to slam into one of them. The force of Steve's charge knocked the man to the ground and his gun flew into the water. Steve landed on top of him, grabbed his head, and slammed it down again. The man's eyes rolled back into his head and he did not move.

Jumping back to his feet, Steve saw that John was wrestling with the second man. He must have used Steve's distraction to rush the other gunman, but John was at a disadvantage with his hands still tied.

As Steve watched, the other man shoved John back and pointed his gun. Steve raced forward, but he did not have enough time to close the distance. The gun fired and John crumpled to the ground.

"NO!" Steve yelled,

The man whirled toward Steve. He aimed, but Steve reached him before he could fire. Slamming into the man with his shoulder, Steve drove him to the ground. Then he struck him with a flurry of sharp punches to the face. Right. Left. Right again. Steve stopped only when he was sure the man was unconscious.

Grabbing the man's gun, Steve stood up and ran to where John was lying. He could see blood streaming down John's shirt. _Not again_, Steve thought, his mind flashing to when Shane was shot. He fell to his knees as John groaned in pain.

The bullet looked like it had struck John's shoulder. Steve tried to put pressure on the wound as John gritted his teeth.

"Son of a. . . ." John said, the words dissolving into a groan.

"You'll be okay," Steve said. He did not think the wound was fatal. "We've got to get you out of here." He thought for a second. "Come on. Let's get you to the car and to the hospital. Can you stand?"

John managed to nod his head and let Steve help him to his feet. Then, John said, "We've got to help Shane."

Steve suddenly remembered that Shane should have been with John. "Where's Shane?" he asked.

"Lawrence," John said, groaning once more. "Lawrence took him."

The words chilled Steve more than the pelting sleet could possibly have done. _If Lawrence has Shane. . . . _Steve shoved aside the fear at that thought. He had to get John out of there. That was his priority right now. He told himself that was what Shane would do.

"Come on," Steve said. He wrapped an arm around John's waist and helped him back to the jeep. He would get John to the hospital first and then he would come back and find Shane.


	494. Chapter 494

Kim closed the file folder in front of her and checked her watch. Her next appointment had called and rescheduled, leaving Kim with two hours to kill before her last session of the day.

It was a little late for lunch, but Kim picked up the phone to call Shane anyway. If nothing else, maybe they could just spend some time in front of the fire with Jeannie.

"Donovan residence," Kim heard as Simmons answered the phone.

"Hi. It's Kimberly," she responded. "Is Shane available?"

"I'm sorry, Madame Brady," the butler replied. "Captain Donovan and Master Black left some time ago."

Kim's heart beat a bit faster at that news. "Did they say where they were going?"

"No, ma'am."

Kim sighed. _I'm sure it's just more investigative work_. "Thank you, Simmons. If Shane returns, please have him call me at my office."

"Yes, ma'am. Should I tell him it's urgent?"

_Only if my being worried counts as an emergency_, Kim thought to herself. "No, it's not urgent. I'd just like to speak to him if possible."

"Very well, ma'am. I'll be sure to give Captain Donovan the message when he returns."

"Thank you, Simmons. I'll be home at the normal time."

"Yes, ma'am."

Kim hung up the phone. As she did, she felt that old, familiar chill come over her. Shane was in danger, or at least that was what her body was telling her. _Stop it_, she told herself. She was only feeling this way because she had just learned from Simmons that Shane and John were off doing something, somewhere. _It's just your imagination playing tricks on you._

Trying to force the fear from her heart and mind, Kim stood and walked towards her office door. She knew Kayla was working today. Maybe if the Trauma Center was not busy, Kayla could take a break. A little chat about the new baby coming would surely take Kim's mind off of her worries.

Kim left her office and walked down the hall towards the elevators. As she walked, her mind seemed to be at war with itself. As much as she tried not to think about it, she could not ignore that Shane's trial was less than two weeks away.

Shane was insistent that if he could stop Lawrence, he would never have to face a trial at all. The thought of having the charges dropped and never facing any time apart was a dream come true for Kim. Yet, logic told her the price was too high. The risk was too great.

_Stop driving yourself crazy, Kimberly_. Shane had made his decision, and Kim had vowed to support him, even if she didn't agree. All she could really do know is hope he was right . . . and that he came home to her, no matter what.

Within a few minutes, Kim arrived at the Trauma Center. She was a familiar figure here as she was frequently called in for counseling consultations. She nodded to the receptionist and walked to the nurses' station where she could see Kayla standing, making notes in a chart.

"Hey, Kay," Kim said as she approached.

Kayla started a bit, then looked up and offered what Kim could tell was a forced smile. "Hi, Kimmie. What brings you by?"

"I had a little time to kill this afternoon and I thought maybe you could get away for a short break." Kim looked closely at her sister, then continued in a softer tone, "And maybe you could tell me what's clearly bothering you."

Kayla lowered her eyes. "I'm fine. Just engrossed in my paperwork."

Kim rolled her eyes. "That might work with a lot of people, little sister, but it doesn't work for me." She stepped closer. "This has something to do with Lawrence, doesn't it?"

Kayla sighed and put the chart she was working on back in the rack. Nodding towards the staff lounge, she began walking that way as Kim followed.

When they were inside the empty lounge, Kayla poured herself a glass of orange juice while Kim chose ice water. Kayla then sat at the table and Kim joined her.

"Don't think I didn't notice that you didn't answer my question," Kim finally said. "So tell me what's going on."

Kayla stared at her orange juice and spoke softly. "Jack ran into Steve and me when we were coming back from lunch. He said that Shane had called him and told him to find Steve and tell him that Shane and John were waiting for him." She took a shaky breath. "Steve obviously knew what that meant and took off. He said Shane and John needed him."

Kim felt the chill flow through her again. This time she knew it wasn't just her imagination. Shane was in danger. And so were John and Steve, apparently.

Silently, Kim reached over, took Kayla's hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. She forced a small smile to her face and a hopeful tone to her voice. "I know you're scared, and so am I. But Shane, Steve, and John have been in a lot of scrapes together. They'll take care of each other."

Kayla nodded. "That's what I keep telling myself."

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Then Kayla looked and her watch and stood. "I better get back. I need to check on a patient soon."

Kim nodded and stood as well. Together, the sisters walked out of the staff lounge and back towards the nurses' station.

As they reached the desk, a noise from the front doors caused Kim to turn in that direction. As she did, she saw Steve walking through the doors, half-carrying, half-dragging another man.

"I need help here," he yelled.

Immediately, Kayla ran towards the door. Kim followed and as she got closer, she could see that it was John who was being assisted by Steve. Kim watched the Trauma Center entrance, silently begging for Shane to follow Steve and John inside.

Kayla raced to Steve and John. She helped support John until an orderly and stretcher arrived.

Even as she kept one eye on the door, Kim did not miss the looks exchanged between Steve and Kayla. It appeared that Steve was unharmed and his quick smile conveyed that to Kayla.

_Where are you, Shane_? Kim's mind screamed as she continued to watch the commotion surrounding John. The orderly arrived with the stretcher. Steve and Kayla lowered John onto it, as Marcus came running up to them.

"What happened?" Marcus began examining John.

"He took a bullet to the shoulder," Steve replied. "I put some pressure on it for as long as I could, but I had to drive. He's lost a lot of blood."

Marcus nodded and moved Steve out of the way. The orderly pushed the stretcher towards one of the trauma rooms, while Marcus barked orders. Kayla moved with them, quickly and professionally applying pressure to John's wounds.

Kim offered a silent prayer for John and then turned to Steve. He was staring at the door to the room where they had taken John.

"Steve?" She walked slowly towards him. He turned and caught her eyes, then quickly lowered his.

"Where's Shane?" she asked, her voice cracking. She knew Steve did not want to tell her the truth. When he did not immediately answer, she demanded a response. "Tell me, dammit," Kim said. "Where is Shane?"

Steve reached out and put his arm around Kim's shoulder. "I don't know," he said hesitantly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Kim's fear was beginning to be replaced by anger. She pulled away from Steve and faced him. "Just tell me the truth, Steven."

Steve sighed and adjusted his patch. "Shane was already gone when I got there. I saw these guys taking John away and followed them. They were going to kill John and dump his body in the river. I managed to stop them, but John took a bullet in the process." He took a shaky breath. "All John said was that 'Lawrence took him.'"

Kim's heart sank and she nearly collapsed. Steve reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to him. Kim leaned into Steve and tried not to lose it completely.

"I've got you," Steve said as he embraced Kim. His voice took on a determined tone as he continued, "I promise you we're going to find Shane. I'm not going to stop until I find him."

Kim nodded and closed her eyes, trying to hold onto Steve's words. _Please be okay, Shane. I can't lose you again. I just can't._


	495. Chapter 495

"Wake up!" said a snarling voice, the first words Shane was able to make out as he regained consciousness. He was only able to stir a little, but then he jerked suddenly as his face was struck with shocking cold. He pulled back, trying to avoid the cold, but his arms were pinned behind him.

Shane sputtered and spit out the icy water, then opened his eyes.

"How nice of you to join us." Lawrence Alamain stood only a few feet in front of Shane, a tight smile on his face. "I should thank you for saving me the trouble of orchestrating your capture. You have made things so much easier for me."

Shane had no idea what Lawrence was talking about, but he said, "You're the one who made a mistake. We know where you're hiding."

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that. Nobody is coming to your rescue, Captain." Lawrence paused for a moment and seemed to think. "Perhaps, I need to amend that. What is the proper title for an ex-Captain? Mister just doesn't have the right ring to it."

Shane did not respond. He just glared at Lawrence and tried to regain his bearings. He was in a windowless room filled with computer and video equipment. On the video screens, he could see surveillance footage of the refinery site.

_John._ Shane suddenly remembered that he had been with John. He heard Marais say, "_Take Mr. Black down by the river and take care of him._"

Shane looked at the screens, trying to find some glimpse of John on them. _Please be alive_, he thought.

"Looking for something?" Lawrence asked. "The cavalry is not coming to your rescue, Captain. Or are you looking for John Black? Oh, I guess it doesn't make that much of a difference for me to tell you that he is still alive. Those incompetent fools couldn't complete the job. That hardly matters to you, though. Nobody is coming to rescue you. They'll be lucky to ever find your body."

Despite Lawrence's threat, Shane actually felt relieved. John was alive. Shane had dragged John into this mess and, at least, he was okay. Taking some strength from that relief, Shane shook his head. "Still with those empty threats, Alamain. You always were much more bark than bite."

Lawrence stepped close. "Trust me, Captain. . . . Soon, you will see my bite firsthand. And when that happens, I assure you . . . you will beg to die."

"I always thought you were delusional," Shane said, forcing his voice low and even. Deep inside him, he could feel a tiny flame of fear, but he doused it. If he was going to live through this, giving in to fear was not the way to do it. He looked Lawrence in the eyes. "You won't get away with this. We will stop you."

"'We'?" Lawrence repeated with a laugh. "From what I can see, you're all alone here. There is no 'we.' This time, Captain, it's just you and me." He turned his head to Marais. "And my associates, of course. In fact. . . . This is quite the reversal of our last meeting, isn't it?"

Shane did not know what Lawrence meant, but he could see the insane gleam in the man's eyes.

"Yes . . . the last time we met," Lawrence said. "In the warden's office."

Shane barely had a chance for that to register before Lawrence's fist slammed into his solar plexus. The air rushed out of his chest and he doubled over with a pained grunt. With his already limited breathing, it took Shane a long moment to recover. Finally, he managed to look up at Lawrence. "That your best shot?"

Lawrence seemed surprised that Shane remained so defiant. _He doesn't know me at all_, Shane thought. Then Lawrence smiled. "Of course. In our last visit, you didn't just strike me once." He swung his fist again, this time striking the side of Shane's face with as much force as he could muster. The blow snapped Shane's head back, but he recovered quickly.

Shane could feel some wetness where the punch had struck, but he laughed when he saw his attacker. Lawrence was clenching his hand in pain. Something told Shane the strike had been more painful for Lawrence far worse than it had been for Shane.

Unable to stop himself, Shane began to taunt his captor. He had no idea what he might gain from it. A quick death perhaps, not the slower torment he suspected Lawrence had planned for him. Or maybe some information about Lawrence's plans that Shane might somehow find a way to get to John.

"You have a lot to learn, Alamain," Shane said. "Your father may have been a leader, but he left behind nothing more than a child. That's all you are - some pretend king with delusions of importance."

Lawrence's face began to turn red and he motioned to one of the guards holding Shane. The man let go of Shane's arm and stepped in front of him. Shane tried to break free of the other guard, but he had too tight a grip.

"Show Captain Donovan what you will do if your 'pretend king' asks," Lawrence ordered.

Shane managed to brace himself for the blow to his ribs, which was far stronger than either of Lawrence's punches. He doubled over again and had to gasp for breath until the pain passed. "So that's how it is," he spat. "You let others do your dirty work like a coward."

"You are too concerned with your ridiculous notions of honor, Captain," Lawrence said in a mocking tone. "All that matters is who wins. The victor makes his own honor." He chuckled. "Like tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Shane could tell that Lawrence wanted to brag about his plans. "More delusions of yours, I suppose."

Lawrence laughed loudly. "No delusions at all," he said. "Tomorrow, the world will learn to fear the Alamain name." He walked over to Shane so they were only a few inches apart. "You, dear Captain, have a definite part to play. Think of it as my cinematic masterpiece, which will showcase both the grand spectacle - the effects-laden set piece, if you will - while also showing the intimate, human drama at a much smaller scale."

Shane tried to figure out what Lawrence meant, remembering his obsession with movie special effects. Was that what this was all about? The toxin that could kill thousands was just some spectacle to him.

"You're insane," was all Shane could say.

Lawrence laughed. "Great men have always been accused of being insane, but I assure you that I am perfectly in control of my faculties. And, tomorrow, the world be forced to acknowledge my greatness." He turned to Ivan. "Take Captain Donovan and find him some secure accommodations for the night. And, while you are at it, have the guards show him a little more of your 'pretend king's' hospitality."


	496. Chapter 496

"What the hell is taking Roman so long?" Steve muttered under his breath for at least the hundredth time in the last two hours.

Unable to remain still, he paced across the small waiting room and looked out the window at the darkened sky. Once again, he cursed himself for not going after Shane when he had the chance.

After he had told Kim about Shane, Steve had helped her to the lounge and had called the family and Isabella to tell them about John's injury and Shane's capture by Alamain's thugs. He should have left then, but he had decided to wait to see if he could speak to John again. He had questioned John as much as possible during the ride to the hospital, but John had been in and out of consciousness from the pain and blood loss, and had offered little information.

Marcus and Kayla had finally come out of John's room to tell the family that John was stable but would need immediate surgery to remove the bullet. Steve had asked about seeing John, but Kayla had told him that John was already heavily sedated.

Steve had taken the opportunity to have a small moment with his wife. He had seen the fear in Kayla's eyes but had been unable to offer any words of comfort. Instead, they held each other for a moment and then Steve had told her he had to go and find Shane. Kayla had clutched him tighter and nodded, seemingly unable to speak.

With great effort, Steve had pulled himself away, kissed his wife, and headed for the door - only to be stopped by Roman. Steve wasn't sure who had called him, but Roman made it clear that this was now a criminal investigation and Steve's participation was not wanted.

Steve had done his best to convince Roman otherwise and, when that failed, had simply tried to leave on his own. But Roman instructed an officer to stop Steve and then told Steve that if he left the hospital before Roman returned, Roman would have him arrested for obstruction of justice.

It had taken all of Steve's self-control not to slug Roman right then. But he could see the concerned looks from the family and knew the last thing they needed was for he and Roman to come to blows. Not to mention that Steve had no doubt Roman would have relished arresting Steve for striking an officer.

So Steve had relented and Roman had left to investigate the old refinery. That had been two hours ago and since that time, the family had waited quietly - both for news about Shane and for John to get out of surgery.

Steve did not even have the comfort of waiting with his wife. Believing Steve had left, Kayla had received permission from Marcus to observe the surgery.

Turning away from the window, Steve looked around the room. Kim was sitting on the couch with Shawn and Caroline on either side of her. Her hands were clasped together in her lap and she stared unseeingly past Steve and into the darkness of the winter night.

Isabella sat in a chair with Bo beside her, holding her hand. It was easy for Steve to forget that Bo and Isabella were siblings, but he was glad to see that Bo was there to support Isabella now.

Steve's eye moved to the other side of the room where Marlena stood. She seemed a bit lost and alone so Steve moved towards her.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee or tea?" he asked when he reached her.

"No thank you," she replied. "I think I exceeded my caffeine limits a few hours ago." She looked down at Steve's hands and offered a small smile. "I think maybe you did as well."

Steve looked down to see the shredded remains of a foam cup in his hand. He did not even remember drinking the coffee, let alone destroying the cup.

"I guess you're right." He shrugged and took a deep breath. "Waiting was never my strong suit."

"Waiting is never easy when someone you care about is hurt," Marlena said softly. Something in her voice caught Steve's attention and he put his arm around her.

"John's going to be just fine, you know," he said in a near-whisper. "He's strong and Marcus said the wound wasn't life threatening."

Marlena gave him a flash of gratitude. Then she straightened her shoulders and smiled. "I know. I'm not worried about him. I'm just worried about Shane."

Steve knew there was more to Marlena's worry than just Shane, but did not push her. "Well, ol' Double-0-Donovan can take care of himself too." He said that with as much bravado as he could muster.

Before Marlena could respond, the door opened. Marcus and Kayla entered. Steve stepped back as the family rushed around them to hear the news about John. Kayla's eyes widened when she saw Steve and she quickly moved to his side. Together, they moved to the back of the room.

"Did you find Shane?" Kayla asked, her eyes sweeping the room.

Steve shook his head. "I never got the chance to go. Your brother showed up and threatened to arrest me if I left the hospital before he got back." Steve did his best to keep his anger under control. "I know he's a cop, Sweetness. But if doesn't find Shane, we may have lost our best shot."

Kayla was silent, so Steve decided to change the subject. "So how's John? Did the surgery go okay?"

Kayla nodded. "It went fine. The bullet was in kind of a tricky spot, but Marcus got it out. There isn't any permanent damage, but John's going to be in the hospital for a few days at least."

"He's not going to like that. Not with Shane in trouble."

"I know." Kayla offered a wan grin. "I think Marcus is already figuring out how to keep him sedated or restrained."

Steve chuckled and pulled Kayla into his arms. "I'm glad he's okay, Sweetness. Now I just hope to God that Roman finds Shane."

As they stood together, the knot of people around Marcus dissolved. Marcus then put an arm around Isabella and escorted her out the door, probably taking her to see John. Steve did not miss the way that Marlena's eyes followed Marcus and Isabella out of the waiting area.

Steve began to move back towards the group, his arm around Kayla, as the door opened again and Roman entered.

"Roman!" Kim jumped up from the couch. "Where's Shane? You did find him, right?"

Roman looked at Kim and Steve saw a flash of genuine regret on his face as he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sis. We looked all over that old refinery site and there's no sign of Shane." Roman looked up and caught Steve's eye. "Or any sign of anything going on there at all."

Steve saw the unspoken accusation and suspicion in Roman's glare. "What are you trying to say, Roman?"

Roman stepped towards Steve. "I'm saying that nothing about that story you gave me earlier checks out. We checked the temporary buildings, and they were empty except for some plans related to remodeling the site."

"You didn't really expect Alamain to have his operation in plain sight did you?" Steve asked. He did not bother to hide his sarcasm.

"We also checked for trap doors and hidden entrances." Roman glared at Steve again. "But there's nothing there."

"That can't be true," Steve insisted. "One of Alamain's companies bought that site at the bank auction. It sure as he wasn't because he planned to rebuild the refinery."

"I had one of our detectives check out the ownership history." Roman now sported a smug grin. "There is nothing that links the buyer, Jacaranda, Inc., to Lawrence Alamain or any of his companies."

Steve felt his blood begin to boil as he realized what Roman was getting at. "So you're saying I'm lying? Did you at least look down by the river? There had to be tracks from where John and I fought those goons."

Roman chuckled. "Yeah, we looked. It was clean. No tracks. No shell casings. Looked like nobody had been around there in months."

Steve again cursed himself for waiting. It had given Lawrence just enough time to get his people out there to clean up any traces of anything suspicious.

Before Steve could say anything further, he heard Kim's voice filled with fear and pain. "So you're saying that Shane just disappeared without a trace?"

Roman turned around to face his sister. He seemed to study her for a moment before speaking. "I guess that's what I am saying, Sis. But I don't think it's because Lawrence Alamain took him." He turned back to look at Steve. "I think it's because somebody wants us to think that's what happened."

As the anger boiled inside of him, Steve stood stock still and smiled at Roman. "You really think Shane, John, and me set this whole thing up?"

"Yes, I do."

At Roman's words, the entire room erupted. Roman and Steve continued to stare at each other, as each member of the family took their turn to tell Roman how wrong he was. Finally, Roman held up his hands.

"Enough!" he yelled. "I know none of you want to believe me, but I'm a cop and my job is to look at the facts. And the fact is that Shane Donovan was facing trial in less than two weeks and the strong likelihood of a lengthy prison sentence."

Roman turned and looked around the room. "It's also a fact that Donovan is wealthy, with access to more than enough money to make himself disappear. And what better way to make it look good than to blame it on Lawrence Alamain? He even tried to warn me about Lawrence being in Salem yesterday to plant the seed."

Steve was about to respond, but Kim beat him to it. He had never heard such fury in her voice as she spoke. "It's also a fact that you don't know what the hell you're talking about, Roman. Shane would never voluntarily leave me and the children. Never. And if you weren't so bitter and determined to blame other people for what happened to you, you'd know that."

"And what about John's gunshot wound?" Kayla asked. Steve could hear the anger in her voice as well. "Before you accuse him of faking that, you should know that I just spend two hours in the operating room watching it being repaired."

Roman shook his head. "No, I don't think it's fake. But the guy's a man with no history, no family, no job, and no prospects. He wouldn't be the first guy to take a bullet for money." Roman looked at Steve again. "It was probably supposed to be a through-and-through shot, but I guess somebody had bad aim."

"You're wrong, son." Shawn spoke softly, but forcefully. "I know you've got your reasons to dislike John, but he wouldn't do that. If he says Shane was taken by Alamain, then that's what happened."

"He's right, Roman," Bo said, walking towards his brother. "You don't know Shane and John and Steve, but we do." He put his hand on his brother's arm. "You need to stop trying to blame them and focus on finding Shane before it's too late."

Roman looked as his father and brother. "Oh, I intend to find Donovan, don't worry."

Steve couldn't stand it any longer. "Fine, Roman. You believe what you want to believe." He moved towards the door. "In the meantime, I'm going to go find Shane."

"You're not going anywhere, Johnson," Roman barked.

Steve could only laugh. "Just watch me." He looked at Kayla and smiled. She tried to smile back, but she had tears in her eyes. He opened the door and started to walk out, only to run into a large man in a Salem PD uniform.

Before Steve could move, the man grabbed his upper arms, turned him, and pushed him into the wall. "Should I cuff him, Commander?"

Steve braced himself for the feel of the cold metal on his wrists. He knew that Shane was depending on him, and freaking out from the restraints was not going to help Steve get to Shane any faster. But Steve could not stop the panic rising within him.

"No!" Kayla screamed. In a flash, she was beside him. "Don't put the handcuffs on, Roman. . . please." She turned to Steve and looked him in the eye. "Just go with him, Steve," she pleaded. "I know you're angry and so am I, but-" She glanced at his wrists. "You've come too far to have to go through that again."

Steve took a deep breath. He wanted to believe that he could deal with the cuffs, but he was not sure of it. He had conquered the reaction to someone grabbing his wrist, but the cuffs were different. Even just thinking about it, he could feel the cold metal on his skin and hear his own screams echoing in his ears.

The heat rose in his face. "All right," he said, quietly and embarrassed. "I'll go to the station, quietly. You don't have to put the cuffs on."

"Commander?" The officer looked to Roman for instruction

Roman stood silently for a moment, then said, "Escort him to the station. If he makes a single move to run, cuff him."

The officer nodded and grabbed Steve's arm. "Let's go."

Steve looked at the family now gathered outside the waiting room and grinned. "Don't worry. Me and Roman are just going to take this chance to get to know each other better." Then he caught Kayla's eye and signed "I love you." Kayla smiled softly and returned the sign.

"So I don't suppose you'd let me drive?" Steve asked the officer as they walked away. When the officer remained silent, Steve muttered. "Guess not."

They quickly reached the squad car. The officer opened the back door and motioned Steve inside. "I guess some things never change," Steve said softly to himself as he entered. He took a deep breath and promised himself that he would not lose his temper. He would do what he had to do to get Roman off his back. Shane was out there somewhere and nobody, not even Roman, was going to stop Steve from finding him.


	497. Chapter 497

Lawrence watched the monitor as the police finished inspecting the trailer. _Those fools have no clue_, he said to himself. They were looking for trap doors and false walls. Their pitiful efforts would never reveal the access to the control center.

Ivan stood beside Lawrence. "It looks like there is no damage."

_No damage from Torres' henchmen, those imbeciles_. Lawrence shook his head. They couldn't even get rid of John Black when he was gift-wrapped for them. But that was hardly the most annoying detail. It appeared that Steve Johnson had been involved in rescuing the man.

That infuriated Lawrence. Johnson should have died in Egypt months ago. It was a slap in Lawrence's face that Johnson was even alive, let alone thwarting Lawrence's plans.

"Do you think they'll return?" Ivan asked, referring to the police.

Lawrence shook his head. "No." If what they had heard of the man who had taken the place of Roman Brady was true, the police would not return. Ivan's sources inside the Salem PD said that Roman Brady did not trust John Black and Shane Donovan.

He looked again at the video monitor, which was now showing the refinery gates. The police cars were pulling out of the gate. _Good_. _This will be no further distraction_. He could finish planning his grand achievement.

There was just one bit of . . . . Lawrence could not even admit the feeling. Perhaps it was a sign of doubt, but he refused to acknowledge the possibility. In any event, if it was doubt, he had a way to put it rest.

Turning back to Ivan, Lawrence said, "Let's go visit our prisoner."

With Ivan at his heels, Lawrence left the main control room and walked down a short corridor. He stopped in front a locked door, where a guard - one of the two men from Alamainia was standing. Lawrence motioned to the door and the guard turned, removed a key from his belt, and unlocked it. Lawrence doubted Shane was in much condition to pick the lock - assuming he still had lockpicks other than the ones they found - but Lawrence would not underestimate the man again.

_Which is why I'm here now._

The door opened into an empty storage closet. Shane was on the floor and raised an arm to shield his eyes from the sudden light. Lawrence stood and waited until Shane lowered his hand.

_Damn_, Lawrence muttered when he saw Shane's face. His men were supposed to leave Shane looking pretty healthy, but his face was littered with bruises.

Nothing however seemed to diminish the defiant look in his eyes. "To what do I owe the pleasure? How's the hand?"

Lawrence felt a surge of something - it couldn't be embarrassment, he told himself - as he remembered the searing pain in his hand from striking Donovan earlier. He chuckled at Donovan's arrogance. "Your arrogance has always fascinated me, Captain. Even now, when you have less than 24 hours to live, you act so superior. Does it not register? You will be dead this time tomorrow."

"I've heard that plenty of times before," Shane said, his tone still defiant. "It hasn't happened yet."

"I assure you, Captain. You will beg for your life before this is over."

Shane shook his head and coughed. Lawrence could tell that hurt Shane, but he covered it well and laughed. "Allow me to apologize in advance for so severely disappointing you."

_This is maddening_, Lawrence thought. But the more he dealt with Shane, the more he suspected that the drama he had been envisioning was not going to play out as planned.

"Tell me something, Lawrence." Shane shifted slowly into a seated position. He could not hide the grimace this time. "You really think killing innocent people in Salem will avenge your father? Is that what he would have wanted?"

"You know nothing about my father," Lawrence snapped. "You saw him as an old man, after he had grown weak with regret for the very acts that had made him great. But when he was younger, when he was a true leader, he would not have hesitated to do what was necessary to claim his greatness."

Shane snorted. "Your father was a great man, but you're nothing like him. Leopold was a leader, not a murderer. . . . He rejected you when he tried to save us from those tunnels. He saw what you really are - and he recoiled from it."

"Shut up!" Lawrence yelled. "Shut up!" The guard started toward Shane, but Lawrence stopped the man. "No. He needs to look somewhat alive tomorrow. . . ." Lawrence glanced around the dark closet and fought to control his fury. "Enjoy the darkness, Captain. Perhaps it will remind you of those tunnels, only this time my father is no longer with us to have a moment of weakness."

He slammed the door before Shane could respond, and stalked back to the control room.

Ivan followed closely behind. "Do not let him-"

"Be quiet, Ivan." Lawrence cut off his underling. He slammed his hands onto a counter in the control room. He needed to think. He would never admit it, but he was afraid - afraid that Shane's foolish defiance would steal the moment.

_Perhaps it is time to rewrite the script_.

"Where is Johnson?" Lawrence asked. He was the one remaining thorn in Lawrence's side who was not accounted for. Jack and Jennifer Devereax would suffer, Bo Brady was protected by Victor Kiriakis, and Katerina would see all of those dead bodies and know she had failed. But Johnson was still out there. Oh, he was never more than a minor distraction - a nothing - but it stuck in Lawrence's craw that Steve Johnson was not part of the plan.

_Perhaps he still can be._

"Johnson will return to look for Donovan. Either tonight or tomorrow. Maybe both." Lawrence looked at Ivan as he said that.

"I will eliminate him personally," Ivan said.

_No_, Lawrence said to himself. Even though he was already envisioning the plan, the word came as a surprise as it echoed in his head. But the silent voice was right.

He smiled as the plan finished forming. Shane might not beg, Lawrence thought, but there were other ways to show the drama of a single death. Maybe Lawrence would even let the man die with a modicum of dignity, provided it proved sufficiently cinematic. And for that, he needed to expand his plan and add another player.

"No," Lawrence repeated aloud. "Tomorrow, when Johnson comes. . . . We shall roll out the red carpet for him."

"What if he doesn't come?"

Lawrence chuckled. "These Salem fools are predictable. He'll come. And when he does, we'll make sure he receives an open invitation."


	498. Chapter 498

Kayla rubbed a hand across her face, feeling the exhaustion of a long night setting in. She had been at the police station since she had dropped Stephanie off at her parents' house the previous evening. It was now early morning and it seemed she was no closer to getting Roman to let Steve go than she was when she had arrived.

Despite Roman's attempts to avoid her, she and Bo had managed to corner him in his office for a few minutes. They had taken turns trying to convince Roman how ridiculous his theory was, but it had gone nowhere. Eventually, Roman had simply stalked out of his office, leaving Bo and Kayla fuming inside.

Bo had then taken off, vowing to find Shane himself. He had returned not long afterwards - in the company of a Salem PD officer. Apparently, Roman had instructed an officer to follow Bo and then had him detained for trespassing.

Since then, Bo and Kayla had waited in Roman's office. Roman had returned just once to tell them that he was having a gun powder residue test run on Steve and to warn Bo not to go near the refinery site unless he wanted to be thrown in jail.

After Roman had left again, Kayla and Bo had resumed their wait. Kayla had contemplated going home. It was obvious she would get nowhere with Roman, but she knew she would not sleep if she went home. So she had waited.

She glanced to her right where Bo was snoring softly in the chair. Somehow, it did not surprise her that her little brother had managed to get some sleep. Since he had been little, he had always managed to find a way to sleep almost anywhere.

She looked up as the door to Roman's office opened. Her expression fell slightly when she saw it was Abe. But as the door opened wider, she jumped up from her chair and caused Bo to jerk awake.

"Steve!" she exclaimed as he followed Abe through the door.

"Hi, Sweetness," he replied with a tired smile. "Miss me?"

Kayla chuckled and embraced him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just ready to get out of this place."

Kayla turned to Abe. "Does that mean he's free to go?"

Abe nodded. "The gun powder residue test came back negative. The officer at the hospital says that John is awake and is confirming Steve's account of what happened."

"Where's Roman?" Bo asked. "Why isn't he here apologizing for this mess?"

Abe looked apologetic. "He said he needed to go home for a shower and breakfast. He asked me to finish the paperwork to have Steve released."

Kayla snorted. "You mean he wasn't willing come in and face me again." She felt her anger rising again. "I still can't believe he did this."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Sweetness," Steve interjected. "I'm free to go and that's exactly what I want to do."

"All right," Abe said. "You are officially released. But I have to warn you. If you are caught at the refinery site, Roman's going to find a way to have you locked up again." He turned to Bo. "That goes for you, too."

Steve just nodded. "Whatever you say." Turning to Kayla and Bo, he said, "Let's go."

Together, the three of them made their way out of the police station. Steve wrapped his arm around Kayla and she leaned into him, just happy to have him with her again.

When they reached Kayla's car, Bo leaned against its side. "So I'll meet you at the refinery in a few minutes, right?" He grinned slightly. "You're going back to look for Shane, aren't you?"

Kayla's heart clinched at Bo's words. She knew that Steve was not going to stop looking for Shane and she knew she could not stop him, but each little goodbye was taking a toll on her.

"Yeah, I'm going," Steve replied. He looked at Bo. "But you're not going with me."

"What?" Bo stood up and stared at Steve. "I'm sure as hell not letting you go by yourself."

Kayla looked back and forth between her husband and brother. She did not want Bo in danger any more than she wanted Steve in danger, but she also did not want Steve going off by himself.

"You are going to let me," Steve insisted. Before Bo could argue further, Steve held up his hand. "Just listen to me for a minute." He glanced at Kayla, then continued. "Shane's in trouble and John's in the hospital. Roman doesn't want to believe there is a threat." He took a deep breath. "That leaves you and me to try and protect this family."

"What do you mean?" Bo asked. "Protect them from what?"

"From whatever Alamain is planning," Steve said. "You heard Roman say that Shane warned him about a toxin that Alamain was developing, right?" When Bo nodded, Steve continued. "That toxin is real. And if Lawrence is here, then it's also deadly. He's planning on releasing it here as some kind of show for potential buyers, but we don't know where or when."

"How do you know all of this?" Bo asked. Then his eyes narrowed. "And why is this the first I'm hearing of it?"

Steve just shook his head. "It doesn't matter right now. When all of this is over, you can be mad at me then. Right now, I just need you to do what I ask."

Bo was clearly irritated. "What's that?"

"I need you to try and talk some sense into your brother," Steve said. "The ISA isn't going to confirm what we're saying, because they don't want a public panic to break out. So you've got to get Roman to understand the danger and to be ready to act."

"Come on, Steve," Bo protested. "You know he's not going to listen to me. I talked until I was blue in the face last night."

"Then get Carly to confirm what you're saying," Steve said.

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise as Steve mentioned Carly's name. She knew that he was pretty desperate if he was willing to pull Carly into all of this.

"Carly?" Bo asked. "What does she have to do with this?"

This time Kayla spoke up. "She's been working on an antidote for the toxin. The immunology lab has stockpiled something they hope will work, but there are no guarantees. But Carly has seen the information on Lawrence's project. Maybe she can convince Roman."

"Why hasn't she told me this?" Bo asked, clearly angry at being left out.

"Because it's a top secret operation," Kayla said. "She wanted to tell you. And I only found out by accident." She put her hand on her brother's arm. "Like Steve said, you can be mad at us later, right now we just need your help."

"Fine," Bo said, sharply. "I'll see what I can do to get Roman on board. But I don't think it's going to do any good."

"Maybe not," Steve admitted. "But if nothing else, you can be around to help Kayla and Carly if Lawrence releases that toxin."

Bo nodded and turned to leave. Before he could, Steve stopped him. Kayla watched as they took a few steps away. Steve kept his voice low, so Kayla could not hear what he was saying, but saw Bo glance in her direction. After a few moments, Bo nodded and clapped Steve on the shoulder. Then he gave Kayla a small smile and headed for his motorcycle.

When Steve returned, Kayla asked, "What was that about?"

"Nothing important," Steve said, nonchalantly. He opened the car door and got in. After a few seconds, Kayla moved to the passenger side and climbed in beside him.

Steve drove silently. After a few moments, Kayla realized he was heading for the hospital instead of their apartment. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to the hospital, so I can get my car," he said, his eye never leaving the road.

"You're not going home after you drop me off, are you?" Kayla knew the answer.

Steve shook his head. "I've got to go find Shane . . . and Alamain." As he stopped at a stoplight, he turned and looked at her. "You understand that, don't you?"

Kayla nodded, trying to keep the fear from constricting her throat. "But I don't have to like it."

"No, Sweetness. You don't have to like it." He sighed softly. "I don't like any of this either, but I can't leave Shane out there alone."

Kayla reached over, grabbed his hand, and pulled it into her lap. They remained silent as Steve pulled into the hospital parking garage and pulled the car into a spot close to where Kayla's car was parked.

When he shut of the engine, Steve leaned over and pulled Kayla to him. He kissed her cheek and her hair. He murmured his love to her as she clung tightly to him. After a few moments, Steve pulled himself away.

"I need to go, baby."

Kayla nodded, forced herself to sit up, and moved towards the door. Before she could reach it, Steve leaned over, pulled her back, and kissed her deeply. Finally, they separated and he rested her forehead against hers.

"I love you, Sweetness. Don't ever forget that, no matter what."

"I love you, too. And your wife and your children need you. Don't ever forget that."

Steve nodded and kissed her again. Then he held her face in his hands and looked her in the eye. "I need you to go to the hospital like everything is normal. My gut tells me that whatever is going to happen is going to happen today, and you need to be here if any reports start coming in."

Kayla nodded, wondering how she was supposed to pretend anything was normal. As if reading her mind, Steve smiled and said, "You can do this, baby. There are a lot of innocent people that are counting on you. I know you won't let them down."

Kayla smiled and stroked his face and then kissed him again. Then she forced herself to open the car door climb out. She closed the door and leaned down, trying to smile through the tears streaming down her face.

As Steve pulled away, she waved and then stood without moving as she watched the car drive away. Only after he was long gone did Kayla gather the strength to start walking towards the hospital. With each step, she wondered if she would ever see her husband again.


	499. Chapter 499

Shane sat in the darkness of the makeshift prison cell Lawrence had created. Was it morning yet? Lawrence's guard had done a thorough search and had taken Shane's watch, as well as his shoes, belt, and socks. The man had also found all of Shane's lockpicks, leaving him with no way of escaping the small room.

_Room. _The space hardly qualified. Shane shook his head. _It's really just a closet._

The space was so small that Shane could only sit if he folded his knees, which was how he was now seated. It was impossible to lie down, though Shane doubted he could rest even if he tried. But even being awake did not stop him from dreaming - or imagining - his family. Kim would be worried sick over his disappearance, but she would have tried to remain calm to keep Eve and Andrew from worrying. Would she have gone to Roman for help? Even with his animosity for Shane, it was hard to imagine Roman refusing to help Kim. In fact, Roman might assume that Shane's disappearance was a sham, but that would only push him to look even harder to find Shane and bring him back to face charges.

_And what about John and Steve_? That thought kept recurring. Lawrence had said John had escaped. And if Jack had given Steve the message about the refinery, Steve would have understood it. Shane had no doubt Steve would have come searching. They had to be out there looking for him.

_So where are they_?

Shane stood up, grimacing at the pain in his side from his bruised ribs. At least they had not re-broken them. Fighting to ignore the pain, he stretched a little and began to pace in a tiny circle around the room. Something was wrong.

_This may bloody well be it_.

He could not stop the treacherous thought from crossing his mind. _No_, he told himself. _You will get out of this._ He always did. He had been in tight spots before and he always escaped.

Shane ran his hands through his hair. The last time he had been locked up, it had been after his arrest. That seemed a lifetime ago. So much had happened after that. He shook his head. Back then, he and Kim were still so far apart. He did not know the truth about Jeannie.

"You will get through this," Shane said to himself. "Lawrence has not won."

He wondered where Kim was right now. Did she even realize he was gone? She had to. John would have told her. But that made him wonder again. If John was alive like Lawrence had said, where was the cavalry? He shoved the thought aside. John and Steve were out there and they had to be looking for him. Shane assured himself that they were just delayed.

_And if they're not_? Again, that tiny voice of doubt snuck through. If not, it meant that Shane was on his own. "And I'm not going to go easily."

He took a few deep breaths and put his ear to the door. Nothing. He took a few more deep breaths and began to pace again. It had to be morning. He tried to picture his family. Kim, despite being worried sick, would be acting like everything was normal as Andrew and Jeannie had their breakfast. Shane could see Andrew talking excitedly about his plans for his daily adventures. Jeannie, as much a miniature of her mom as Andrew was of Shane, was probably babbling something. Soon, she would be speaking.

Shane tried to shunt aside the voice that taunted him with the prospect that he might never hear Jeannie call him daddy. He could not think like that. He was going to find a way out of this.

Footsteps at the door stopped his pacing. Shane told himself this was it. _I am not going to go quietly._ He pressed against the wall just as the lock clicked and the door knob began to turn.

The guard was not expecting the attack. Shane's sharp kick connected with the guard's wrist, sending his gun skidding down the corridor. Barely noticing the gun, Shane slammed both fists simultaneously into the guard's ribs. He heard the air rush from the man's lungs as he stumbled back. Shane raced forward. The stunned guard twisted, trying to duck further blows, but that only exposed his back. Shane wrapped his right arm around the guard's neck, pulling him into a headlock.

"Don't move," came a voice with a European accent. Still holding the guard in a tight grip, Shane spun them both around. Ivan Marais and another guard were standing in the corridor. Lawrence stood behind them. Ivan was operating a video camera. The guard had a gun aimed at Shane. Lawrence smiled.

"Ah, Captain. Nice of you to put on such a fitting display of bravado before the end. It will add greatly to the drama."

Shane squeezed his arm around the guard's neck. "Drop your guns or I'll kill him."

The guard next to Ivan hesitated and started to lower his hand. Lawrence grimaced. "Ivan."

Ivan lowered the camera and pulled the gun out of the guard's hand. He raised the gun and, without the slightest hesitation, fired.

The man Shane was holding jerked sharply. The guard's body turned into a dead weight as his legs buckled. The sudden movement caused Shane's grip to slip and the body slumped to the ground. Shane looked down and saw the blood streaming from the dead man's head.

Shane had barely registered what had happened when the other guard grabbed Shane by the arms and dragged him down the corridor.

"You . . . you killed him," Shane finally stammered as he was pulled toward Lawrence.

"Yes," Lawrence said, sounding almost bored. "And now that I think about it, that could complicate matters. It does leave me rather short-handed."


	500. Chapter 500

The dawn was just beginning to break through the grey clouds of the cold December morning. As she had since she returned home the previous night, Kim stared out the window, her eyes seeing little of the scenery.

After Roman had left the hospital, the family had scattered. Bo had taken off to try and talk some sense into Roman. Kayla had gone to get Stephanie and word soon reached Kim that Kayla would be taking Stephanie to her grandparents. Kim had no doubt what that meant, and she had momentarily smiled as she pictured Kayla following Bo to the police station. But the smile had faltered quickly when she had thought about her older brother's unwillingness to listen to reason.

Kim had lingered briefly, stopping in John's room to let Isabella know to call if there was any change in his condition. Then, not knowing what else to do, Kim had returned home.

_Home_. Such as small, simple word, that signified so much. _Love, family, security_. Yet, at the moment, the mansion that was her home was nothing more than bricks and wood. Without Shane there, without knowing whether he was alive or dead, the house they had shared was not home.

_No_, she told herself. _Shane is alive_. She knew he was, because she knew she would have felt it if he were gone. So she held onto that thought like a lifeline, sitting stock still as the hours ticked by.

The pale light of the winter sun finally broke through Kim's trance and she turned and looked at the clock. It was nearly 7:30 a.m. and she knew that Andrew would be up, getting ready for school. She was also sure that Jeannie would be waking at any moment.

Kim breathed a sigh of relief that Eve was currently out of town on a business trip for Julie. She knew that Eve would be hysterical if she learned that Shane was missing. Kim had pondered calling Eve to tell her what was going on, but there was nothing Eve could do. She rationalized that there was no point in telling Eve until she had to.

Knowing she needed to be strong for Andrew and Jeannie, Kim pulled herself out of the overstuffed chair she had been sitting in all night. She placed the blanket she had used for warmth on the bed and wrapped her robe around her.

Her eyes lingered on Shane's robe lying on the end of the bed. Had it only been the previous morning that they had made love in that bed? It already seemed like a lifetime ago.

Opening her hand, she looked down at the cameo she had held all night. Again, Shane's words came back to her. _As long as you have it, nothing will keep us apart_. She silently prayed that those words were true.

"They have to be," she said aloud, almost as if saying the words would give them greater force.

Placing the cameo in the pocket of her robe, Kim went to the bathroom, splashed some water on her face, and brushed her hair. She hoped that if she looked normal, Andrew would not pick up on anything. Her son was perceptive, and the last thing she wanted was to scare him again.

Taking a deep breath and gathering her strength, Kim left the bedroom. She walked quickly to Jeannie's nursery and quietly opened the door. She was not surprised to see her daughter sitting in her crib, contentedly playing with a stuffed animal.

"There's my favorite girl," Kim said with a forced cheerfulness. "How long have you been awake?"

Jeannie looked up and smiled at the sight of her mother. As Kim moved towards the crib, Jeannie pulled herself up and began babbling excitedly.

Kim couldn't help but chuckle at her daughter's antics. Reaching down, she pulled Jeannie from the crib and moved quickly to the changing table. With practiced speed, Kim had Jeannie changed and dressed in minutes.

"All right, let's go see if your brother is ready for school." Picking up Jeannie, Kim headed out the door of the nursery and downstairs to the kitchen.

As she neared the kitchen, she could smell the breakfast that Simmons had prepared and could hear her son talking excitedly, although she could not make out the words.

Pasting a cheerful smile on her face, she entered the kitchen. "Good morning," she said to Simmons and Andrew as she walked to the table and placed Jeannie in her high chair.

"Good morning, madam," Simmons replied. Kim did not miss the slight question in his voice and eyes and shook her head slightly in return. Simmons shoulders drooped imperceptibly and then straightened as he moved toward the refrigerator. "I'll have Miss Jeannie's breakfast ready momentarily."

"Thank you," Kim replied. She knew that Simmons was deeply worried about Shane, even if he would never admit it.

Turning to her son, Kim forced herself to smile. "Are you all ready for school today?"

"Yep," Andrew replied emphatically. "We get to write letters to Santa today!"

Kim's smile was genuine this time. "Do you have your list all figured out?"

Andrew nodded again. "Simmons and I went through the toy catalog last night. He helped me write down all the things to ask Santa for."

Kim could only imagine the length of Andrew's letter to Santa. She was grateful that despite all that had happened in the past months, her son could still lose himself in the simple childhood joy of Christmas and Santa Claus.

The morning routine continued on a morning that was anything but routine for Kim. As Andrew began detailing his list of toys he wanted from Santa, Kim's thoughts were dominated by one thing: All she wanted was for Shane to return home safely.


	501. Chapter 501

Evading the Salem PD was proving a bit more difficult than Steve had anticipated. After dropping Kayla at the hospital, he had picked up the brown sedan following him. It never got closer than a half-block away, but after it followed Steve along a circuitous route to the fish market, Steve could tell he was being followed. Of course, they could not arrest him for that.

_There's nothing illegal about checking on the in-laws - at least not yet._

He left his car at the market and headed inside. Shawn and Caroline immediately wanted to know if there was any news on Shane, but he shook his head. "I'm going to find him, but I need your help." Shawn and Caroline looked confused, but Steve explained his plan.

A few minutes later, Shawn backed the fish market's delivery truck up to the front of the store. He and Caroline lugged some huge sturgeon into the truck and rolled out some barrels of ice, with which they covered the fish. Shawn gave Caroline a kiss and got into the driver's side of the truck to begin making the delivery. He only got about 10 feet before the brown unmarked police car cut him off. Brian Scofield and another officer got out.

"Hey!" Shawn yelled. "What the devil do you think you're doing? I've got deliveries to make."

Scofield was apologetic, but he said they had to search the truck. "We know Johnson's hiding in there."

"You're going to make me late for this delivery," Shawn complained, but the officer refused to budge. Finally, rolling his eyes, Shawn got out, walked to the back of the truck, and opened the back. "Go to it, son," Shawn said. "Ain't nothin' but fish and ice, but if you want to get yourself some frostbite, be my guest."

Meanwhile, as the police dug through the icy contents of Shawn's truck, Steve's car was slowly making its way out of the parking lot. As he turned the corner and disappeared, he saw Scofield and the other officer still focused on Shawn's truck.

Steve knew, however, that he had to switch cars. Roman would have any officers near the refinery on alert, and they definitely would have a description of Steve's car. Steve debated returning to the hospital and taking Marcus' car, but then it dawned on him that Roman might have men at the hospital. Kayla was there and, in all likelihood, Bo was there confronting Carly. So the hospital was out. So that didn't leave Steve with any. . . .

_Why didn't I think of that earlier_?

He turned his car in the direction of Lakeshore Drive. There was a chance Roman had units at Shane's, but Steve suspected they were convinced Shane was halfway to Mexico by now. Sure enough, Steve saw no sign of surveillance as he parked down the block, made his way around to the lake, and then up through the garden to the back entrance. Through the window, he saw Simmons moving around the kitchen. Steve rapped on the glass pane in the door, causing the butler to jump in surprise. He quickly came to the door and opened it.

"Master Johnson?"

Steve pushed past him. "I need the keys to Shane's car," he said. "Where does he keep a spare set?"

"In the desk in the library," Simmons said. "But-"

"Where's Kim?" Steve asked, cutting the butler off.

Following Steve down the hallway toward the library, Simmons explained that Kim had taken Andrew to school and Jeannie to her parents. She had said it would be better if they acted normal around the children.

"Good," Steve said. He turned through the library doors and made a beeline to the desk. He pulled it open and pulled out two sets of keys. The one for the car was obvious. The other he figured was for the other thing he needed. He had to try two keys before the bottom drawer of the desk opened and he could remove the gun. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Shane had handed Steve this gun at Donovan Manor and they had declared their short-lived "truce." Steve chuckled as he checked that the gun was loaded and adjusted the sights. _You came to my rescue back then, Donovan. Now I get to return the favor._

"Master Johnson?" Simmons was standing just inside the library doorway, watching him with a curious look.

Steve gave the butler a grin. "It's nothing. Just remembering something."

"You are going to find Master Shane, aren't you?" Simmons asked.

Steve took a deep breath. "I'm going to do my best. Now you can't let anyone know I was here or that I've got Shane's car." Without waiting for a response, Steve tucked the pistol in the waistband of his jeans and headed out the door. A minute later, he was inside Shane's car and headed toward the refinery.

Sure enough, the Salem PD were out in force. Two squad cars were camped at the front gates of the refinery. Steve kept his head low and drove slowly around, spotting an unmarked vehicle by the hole in the fence that Shane and John had used the day before.

_There has to be another way in_, Steve thought. The men who attacked John had been driving Jeeps and the managed to disappear without being seen. A bunch of men coming in and out of the front gates would have attracted attention. Then Steve started to laugh.

_Shane and John wouldn't have a clue. They would be stuck cutting a hole in the fence._ _They don't know the docks like I do._

Instead of staying on the road along the perimeter of the refinery, Steve took a left. He drove a block, then turned right, taking another right along a row of warehouses that lined the river. Up ahead, the warehouses continued a little way past the edge of the refinery as the road ended at the last warehouse along the river. There was no way to get a vehicle to the refinery site.

_Except for the narrow pier that ran along the edge of that last warehouse._

"But then only an old dock rat like me would really pay attention to something like that," Steve said to himself. _Me and the local thugs that Lawrence probably paid for his security._

Keeping that in mind, at the end of the road, Steve swerved the car onto the narrow pier. For a moment, he feared he miscalculated and the car's tires threatened to drop off the edge, but the pier was just wide enough for the car. Steve's eyes lit up and he broke into a grin as he looked ahead. Up ahead was exactly what he thought he might find - a chainlink fence.

"I hope you've got this baby insured, Donovan," he said, punching the accelerator.

The car shot forward, crashing through the fence and onto the icy ground of the refinery. The car skidded and Steve had to fight for control, but he managed to get the upper hand. He steadied the car and managed to get it directed toward the trailers in the distance. Shane's car was not exactly built for off-road driving and it pitched and bucked as it drove over the icy, bumpy ground. Steve thought he heard part of the bumper break off.

The trailers were getting closer. Steve was not sure what exactly he was going to do when he got there. He knew Alamain could have a dozen armed guards ready to open fire, but Steve's gut told him that was not how Lawrence operated. _He wants this._

Steve brought the car to a skidding stop next to the trailers. He had no idea where Lawrence was or how to find him, but he knew the man was close. Steve took a moment and pulled out the gun he had taken from Shane's house. He studied it for a moment, then stuffed it into his boot, and got out of the car. Then Steve began to walk around, studied the sides of the trailers, and looked for signs of where the man was hiding.

_There_.

In the corner of one of the buildings, he spotted a tiny camera lens. Steve took a deep breath and grinned.

_Here goes nothing._

"I'm right here, Alamain," Steve yelled. "I know you want me, so here I am. Come on out and get me."


	502. Chapter 502

Lawrence frowned as he stared down at the dead guard. Now that he thought it through a little more, it probably had been a mistake to kill the guard. He had already been down to a skeleton crew, with just Ivan and the two guards. His momentarily lapse in foresight had cut his manpower by one-third.

He could still accomplish his goals. It just required a little revising of his plans, but everything was still manageable.

"Sir?" asked Ivan. Lawrence turned to see his subordinate waiting for instruction. The remaining guard had Shane in a close grip and was again holding the gun.

"Take him to the set," Lawrence ordered. The guard pulled Shane and Ivan followed with the video camera running once more. Lawrence smiled as he thought of the condemned man's walk to his place of execution. A truly dramatic moment in what would be finally broadcast to his potential buyers.

Lawrence followed the procession down the corridor to the security room. Shane had not seen the set yet. When he had been brought in, unconscious, Lawrence had made a decision not to reveal anything. He wanted the camera to catch the true look of surprise when he realized Lawrence's intentions.

In the security room, he turned and followed Ivan and the guard toward the set.

"Wait," he called out. Ivan and the guard stopped and Lawrence stepped past the guard, who was holding Shane securely, and Ivan, who had been walking backward while filming. "I want to see what the camera sees," Lawrence said.

His eyes focused on Shane as he and Ivan backed into the room at the end of the hallway. Lawrence had to stop himself from laughing as Shane's eyes widened briefly as he saw the structure on the opposite side of the room.

Turning, Lawrence looked as well. The clear plexiglass cylinder was a feat of engineering. It was about 12 feet high with a door that formed a perfect airtight seal. Next to the door was a small box with a lever that activated and deactivated the seal. On top of the cylinder, a long, clear pipe twisted out of the roof of the cylinder and ran about five feet away from the cylinder before dropping down to two large canisters on the ground.

"You're bloody insane," Shane said.

Lawrence laughed. "Genius and madness have always been confused by those of middling intelligence. . . . You lack the capacity to understand."

"What's so hard to understand?" Shane asked. "It's a gas chamber. Stick someone inside, turn on the gas. . . ."

"You say that so lightly, Captain." Laurence chuckled. "You would have made a good actor. But jokes are pointless now. We both know it's just a false front."

Now it was Shane who laughed. "Is this when I'm supposed to beg for my life?"

"Of course not. I never expected you to beg for anything," Lawrence lied. "This is when you're supposed to die."

Shane shook his head. "Killing me won't change anything. You are still nothing compared to your father."

Lawrence started to respond, but then remembered the camera filming. "I'll just edit out that line. Let me explain, Captain Donovan. This film will be sent to people around the world. Not only will they shudder at the effectiveness of my weapon after what it does to Salem this morning, but they will see, up close, what it is like to die from it. Your death will be seen by millions of ordinary people who will quake in fear. And it will be seen by my customers, who will realize that just the threat of that kind of death will send countries to their knees."

"You are bloody insane." Shane glared at Lawrence.

"Oh, that's good," Lawrence said. "Defiant to the end." He looked at Ivan. "Put him inside."

Ivan walked over to the door and raised a lever on the control box. Lawrence heard the hissing sound as the pressure seals released. Then Ivan reached for the clear handle on the door of the gas chamber. The guard pulled the door, shoved Shane inside, and closed it shut. Then Ivan pulled the lever down. The seals hissed again as they closed. Ivan checked a gauge on the door and nodded at Lawrence.

"Right now, Captain, you are getting normal air that is flowing through the vent at the top of the chamber," Lawrence explained. "When the time comes, that vent will seal and we will open the canister containing the oxygen." Lawrence smiled. "I couldn't have you suffocate before the toxin takes effect, could I?" He walked over to counter that had previously served as part of the final lab and pulled open one of the drawers that ran its length. Lawrence reached inside and pulled out a small rectangular device. "A remote control," he said as he held it so Shane could see. It had two raised buttons that Shane could see. Lawrence studied it. "All I need to do is press this button." He pointed at the one on the left of the remote. With a triumphant smirk, he looked at Shane. "How does it feel to know that your life turns on this little button?"

Shane said nothing. He just watched Lawrence with a look that displayed no emotion.

"How magnificently stoic," Lawrence said. He had to admire Shane just a little. "It will make your screams even more convincing. I should apologize. The process appears quite painful."

When that received no response, Lawrence shrugged. He had other things to think about. He turned to the remaining guard. "You had better go. I don't want to get behind schedule." At least, he had not killed the guard who would plant the decoy toxin. That was almost fortuitous.

The guard began to leave, but stopped when the other man in the compound came running in. The video operator reported that there was someone outside the trailers. Lawrence glanced at Shane. He was secured in the gas chamber. He could not escape.

Lawrence looked at Ivan and the guard. "Let us see who is paying us a visit." They left the room with the gas chamber and quickly made their way down the corridor to the security room with the video monitors.

Ivan reached the room first. "You were right, sir."

"Of course, I am," Lawrence said.

On the screen, Steve Johnson stood immediately outside the trailer. He stared into the camera and held his arms out. "I'm right here, Alamain," Steve yelled. "I know you want me, so here I am. Come on out and get me."

Ivan looked at Lawrence. "Your orders, sir?"

Lawrence smiled and pulled a small caliber handgun from his pocket. He turned to the guard. "Make sure Mr. Johnson is unarmed and then head to your target." Still smiling, Lawrence looked at Ivan. "And once Mr. Johnson is unarmed, please escort him inside. We have quite a lot to discuss."


	503. Chapter 503

Steve took a deep breath as Ivan ran his hands over Steve's body, checked his pockets, and tapped Steve's legs. The gun, tucked inside Steve's boot, felt like a heavy weight, but Ivan somehow missed it. Finishing the pat-down, Ivan stared Steve in the eyes. Steve grinned back. "I know it's hard to tear your eyes away from this handsome mug, but I do think your boss is waiting for me. Unless you just want to tell me his plans and just go to prison now."

Ivan did not seem to appreciate the joke. He motioned to the trailer and ordered Steve to go up the stairs. Since both Ivan and the tall guard next to him were armed, Steve chose not to argue. He grinned. "Your boss is a fan of old movies, isn't he? This is kind of like being 'off to see the wizard.'"

"This isn't Oz, Mr. Johnson," Ivan said.

_No, it's not_, Steve thought. _But there also isn't any Wizard. The man behind the curtain is just a man._

Steve marched up the stairs behind the guard who pushed the door open, but did not enter. He pressed a button on the wall next to the door. A loud whirring sound filled the room and, as Steve watched, the furniture pulled back against the walls and a six-foot swath of floor that ran the whole length of the trailer rolled back and disappeared, exposing a set of stairs that disappeared below ground.

It was no wonder the Salem PD had found nothing when they searched. They were probably looking for trapped doors or hidden entries. Rolling back the entire floor left no visible signs, since the place where the floor separated was matched with the spaces between the fake slats of wood flooring.

"Down," Ivan ordered.

Needing no further prompting, Steve stepped down the stairs into a room filled with video equipment and monitors that showed the refinery. A single technician was seated at a control center watching the entire array. _So that's how they could stay hidden, but watch us. _Steve had to give Lawrence credit. The set-up was brilliant. Even the ISA could probably learn a lot from Lawrence.

Ivan followed Steve down the stairs, but the guard did not. Ivan walked over to a wall panel and pushed a red button. Above them, the engine whirred again and the floor closed. Then Ivan pointed across the room to a corridor opposite the stairs. Steve noticed another corridor to his left, but he went in the direction Ivan pointed. They emerged a few minutes later into a larger room. On the opposite side, Steve could see some giant contraption - a plastic structure with giant tubes and pipes twisting out of it. Inside, trapped and beaten, but alive, was Shane.

"You okay, dude?" Steve asked, but before Shane could respond, Lawrence stepped into view. He had been in a corner, just out of Steve's field of vision.

"Now that was rather rude, Mr. Johnson." Lawrence was holding a small rectangular object in his hand. It looked like a small electrical device, almost like a TV remote. "It usually is polite to speak to one's host first."

Steve snorted. "Yeah, well, guess I forgot my manners at the front door."

"Evidently," Lawrence said. "Between you and ex-Captain Donovan, Salem's reputation for hospitality is dropping quite a bit."

"I'll take that up with the Mayor," Steve shot back. "Now why don't you just open up that thing and let Shane go?"

Lawrence chuckled. "Oh, I don't think so. Our mutual friend here is going to provide quite the show for my buyers." He looked at Ivan. "Is the package being delivered?" When Ivan nodded, Lawrence smiled. "Very good." He waved Ivan over and they exchanged words that Steve could not hear. Ivan handed Lawrence his gun and headed to the exit.

"Where's he going?" Steve asked.

Lawrence just responded with a smug, superior look. "For the moment, that is not your concern." Lawrence turned the gun over in his hand and aimed it at Steve. "For now, we shall just wait."

"For what?" Steve asked.

"You do ask a great many questions, Mr. Johnson, don't you?" Lawrence seemed amused. "Quite the opposite of your counterpart here," he added, motioning to Shane, who had said nothing since Steve had entered.

Steve was now close enough that he could see that, though Shane had been worked over a bit, the beating probably had little to do with his silence. He had one eye on Steve and Lawrence, but was searching for a way to escape the cell. At the moment, he was sliding his hands along a seam in the plexiglass.

Lawrence knew it too. "I am so enjoying your efforts, Captain. They are quite cinematic." He turned back to Steve and motioned to a space in the middle of the room that had a white "X" marked on the floor in tape. "Mr. Johnson, please take your mark."

"My mark?" Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Don't argue with your director," Lawrence said. "Especially one with a handgun and the means to kill Captain Donovan at any moment."

For the first time, Shane made a sound. It was a derisive laugh. "As if that will make a difference."

"Perhaps not in the end," Lawrence acknowledged. "Still . . . I assume Mr. Johnson came here with some misguided notion that he will rescue you. Therefore, unless he wants me to shoot him now, I expect he will cooperate. After all. . . ." He looked at Steve and raised the gun. "You do still have a role to play in this drama."

Steve smiled slightly, but he walked toward the white "X." "A role? That's what you call it? Was that what it was when you took me from Salem and made me your lab rat?"

Evidently pleased that Steve was cooperating, Lawrence relaxed and lowered the gun. He walked over to a table and set down the device he had been holding. From Steve's vantage point, he could see that it had some buttons on it.

"So perhaps your reason for coming here was not entirely altruistic," Lawrence said.

Steve's eye narrowed. "I don't know what you're getting at, Alamain."

"You want answers. Maybe you even want revenge." Lawrence chuckled. "And here I thought you were just coming to put your life on the line for the good Captain. And after he has done so much for you."

"Oh, I'm here for Donovan," Steve said. He toed the tape that made up the white mark on the floor. "But seeing that you said we have to wait for whatever it is that we're waiting for, why don't you humor me? Why did you take me? You wanted Bo and Carly, not me."

Lawrence began to laugh. "You're right, Mr. Johnson. I did want Bo Brady. You just got in the way."

"Then why did you make everyone think I was dead?" Steve demanded sharply. "Why did you kidnap me?"

Lawrence stopped laughing. "Why?" he said in an amused tone. "Why did I take you? Because I could."


	504. Chapter 504

My apologies for last week. I know it appeared that the story was updated when it wasn't. What happened was that I uploaded the next chapter from the document manager without looking at it. I then realized which chapter had been posted and felt uncomfortable about the timing of the post, so I took it down and held off re-posting it until now. Hopefully, the reason will be clear after reading. We do want to make clear that the story was outlined and most of the scenes written long before they have been posted here, so the timing is purely coincidental.

jwsel

* * *

Kim had taken Andrew to school and had gone through their ritual of saying goodbye - the regular morning hug and kiss, the admonition to obey the teacher, and the instructions to be nice to the other students. But instead of driving off as soon as he had left the car, Kim had waited and watched her son for the entire time he walked to the school.

She had no idea why she had broken the routine. It had just seemed like the right thing to do that morning.

Perhaps it was just her way of avoiding thinking about Shane's disappearance and the prospect that she might, once again, have to shatter her son's world.

_And your world._

"And my world," Kim admitted out loud, as she paced relentlessly around the clinic.

Ever since she had arrived at the hospital, she had been unable to focus on any of her work. She had called the police station to talk to Roman, but he had been unable to talk. Instead she had spoken with Abe, who revealed that Steve had been released and had left with Kayla. Kim had then tried calling Kayla's apartment to see what Steve had planned, but had only reached the answering machine. That only increased Kim's unease; did they know something?

With no ability to work, she decided to check on John and see if he could provide any more information on Shane. She headed upstairs to his room and found him grumbling about being stuck in the hospital bed when he was needed elsewhere. Carly and Isabella told him that he needed to stay still or he might tear the stitches. Isabella's eyes were red and she had a look of exhausted relief and exasperation that Kim recognized from her own mirror.

"Please, John," Kim said, though she hated saying the words. "You need to recover. Steve is looking for Shane. There's no reason for you to push yourself and do more damage."

John grimaced. "We should've waited for Steve," he said. "All the times me and Shane have told Bo and Steve not to be so reckless, and we go charging into Lawrence's trap like that. Can't believe we were so stupid."

Kim winced at John's words. Had Shane been reckless? That was so unlike him. He always preached logic and talked about being methodical. What would have made him walk into a trap - if that was what it was?

"Why?"

Kim spun around to see Kayla in the doorway to John's room.

Kayla repeated the question. "Why? Why didn't you wait for Steve?" she asked.

John shook his head. "We waited for awhile, but we didn't know if he got the message Shane left, and we were afraid we would lose the chance to find out where Lawrence was hiding. It's got to be somewhere underground at the refinery site, but we didn't know how to get in and we thought we could follow Marais inside. . . . When Steve didn't show, we thought we couldn't wait anymore."

"Why didn't Steve show up?" Kim asked. She tried not to make that sound like an accusation.

Kayla hesitated for a moment, and Kim feared that she had sounded too angry, but Kayla merely said, "Steve raced away as soon as we ran into Jack. He would have gone sooner, but that was when he got the message."

Inside, Kim had already known that. Steve would not have let Shane down like that. After everything that had happened, the bond between the two men was stronger than ever. "So where is Steve now?" Kim asked.

Kayla shook her head. "I don't know," she said. Kim could tell her sister was telling the truth, just as she could tell that Kayla was as terrified for Steve as Kim was for Shane. "He told me to stay here. He said he thinks whatever Lawrence is planning is going to happen today, so I should stay here. . . . Then he said he would find Shane, but I don't know how. . . . God, Kimmie, I'm so scared. . . ."

As Kayla's words faltered, Kim pulled her sister into a tight embrace. "Steve's a strong man," she said, hoping her words had a certainty that she did not feel. "He'll be fine." Kim let go of Kayla and thought for a minute. "I know. I'm going to go see Jack. If Steve needed information, he might have gone to Jack, right? Maybe he knows something."

Kayla seemed doubtful, but Kim persisted. "It's something I can do. You need to stay here, because Steve may be right. If Lawrence does attack Salem, you and Carly should be here to help. That's your job. Me . . . I can go talk to Jack." She gave Kayla another quick hug and hurried from the room.

It took only a few minutes to grab her purse and make her way to the offices of the Salem Spectator. Kim had no idea if Jack was even there or if he would talk to her, but if she found him, she would not leave until he told her everything he knew about what Steve had planned.

Entering the ground floor lobby, Kim looked for the elevator. Near the door, she spotted a tall, red-haired man that looked familiar. _Where have I seen him before_? she wondered. He wore khaki pants and a navy sweatshirt with a hood, and carried a large backpack. Kim thought for a moment and figured she had probably seen him around the hospital at some point.

Kim followed him into the elevator, where he pushed the button for the third floor, which housed the Spectator offices. When the doors opened, Kim stepped out first, headed straight to the receptionist's desk, and asked to speak with Jack.

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Devereaux is in a meeting," the receptionist said. She was so young that Kim suspected she was a student at Salem U, who was working part time or as an intern.

Kim looked sharply at the woman and replied, "Tell him it is urgent, and he needs to take a short break."

Apparently unnerved by Kim's death-glare, the receptionist chose to comply. She stood up and walked away from the desk, leaving Kim alone. Turning, Kim glanced around the Spectator lobby and suddenly remembered the man from the elevator. Curious, she stepped back into the hall and looked to her left.

The man was crouched down by an air conditioning vent, the backpack by his feet. As Kim looked at him, he glanced furtively to his right and their eyes met. His eyes widened in recognition. Suddenly, in Kim's mind, she saw the same man, in a khaki uniform - walking the halls of Lawrence Alamain's mansion.

Behind her, she heard a voice. "Kimberly, what can I do-"

In front of her, Lawrence's man hurriedly pulled out a gas mask and slapped it over his face. Kim saw his hands move and, for the first time, saw that the backpack contained an orange canister with a valve. In horror, Kim watched as the man turned the valve.

Turning swiftly, Kim saw Jack step into the hallway. "Get everyone out of here," she ordered. As Jack looked around, confused, Kim shoved him back toward the receptionist desk.

_I need to do something. _She could hear Steve's voice as he described the pain he endured during his captivity. _That could be all of us_, she thought. _I have to do something._

Then it hit her. _Kayla._ This was what Steve wanted. This was why Kayla was at the hospital right now.

Kim heard someone cry out in pain. In the distance, she heard another person cough. Then another cough. And a few more pained cries. The toxin was already taking effect.

She yelled for Jack to get everyone out of the building, then shouted herself, not caring if she started a panic. "Get out. The Spectator is under attack."

The toxin was in the air and would reach her soon, but she knew she was the only one who was aware of the hospital's plan. Only she could save these people. She realized the receptionist desk would have a phone, so she raced to it and shoved the young girl out of the way. "Get outside," Kim told the girl, then dialed the hospital. The instant the operator answered, Kim said, "Get Kayla Johnson on the phone right away. It's urgent. I don't care what it takes."

It did not take long, but it felt like an eternity. Kim watched workers fleeing the Spectator. Some were shaking with the painful convulsions that Steve had described. She saw Jack helping a coughing and shaking Vern Scofield to the elevator. Jack coughed, even as Kim felt a tingling sensation in her throat and knew the toxin was beginning to affect her.

_Please_, Kim begged.

People still in the office were crying in pain. More and more screams filled the room. Kim saw Jennifer Horton on the floor, trying to crawl as her body convulsed.

_Please, Kayla, answer the phone._

Jack must have gotten Vern to the elevator, because he raced over to Jennifer and helped her to her feet. Jack was struggling himself now, but they managed to reach the reception area. Kim's hands were feeling numb and she fumbled the phone, almost dropping it when she heard the sound of someone picking it up on the other end.

"Kim," Kayla's voice came through the phone line.

"It's the Spectator!" Kim said. "Lawrence's man-" Kim's words broke off in a hacking cough. "The toxin. . . . It's at the Spectator. People are. . . ."

On the other end, Kayla sounded anxious. "Where are you? Are you in the office?"

"You need to get here." Kim blinked a few times. Something was funny with her eyes. The light in the room was cloudy. She looked through the office and saw something on the floor. She blinked again and took a sharp breath when she realized it was the young girl from the reception desk. The girl was shaking and crying in pain, but too far away for Kim to help. "Kay!"

"You need to get out of there, Kimmie," Kayla said. "You can't stay there. We're on the way with the antidote, but get out of there."

Kim knew Kayla was right. Her hands stung with pins-and-needles. Unable to hold the phone any longer, she let it drop. She looked back at the girl, but knew there was nothing she could do to help. Even now, Kim's legs were starting to shake with the first convulsions. She had to get out of the office to where Kayla and Carly would have the antidote. Kim stumbled to the elevator, punched the button, and bit back a cry of pain while she waited for the elevator to arrive.

The doors opened just before Kim's legs failed her and she fell to her knees. As her leg convulsed from a searing pain down its length, she reached up and pushed the button for the lobby, then fell forward, shaking, while the elevator began its descent.

A moment later, the doors opened again. Kim could barely see through the clouds in her eyes, but someone loomed over her and she thought she heard her name. She looked up and saw a pair of concerned hazel eyes.

"Kimmie, are you okay?" Roman asked.

Kim looked at her brother and, through the pain, let out a weak, sickly laugh. "Do you believe us now, Roman? Do you?"


	505. Chapter 505

Lawrence almost laughed at the expression on Johnson's face. He seemed to have no idea how to respond, and Lawrence knew he had the man off balance. _Time to twist the knife a little more._

"Did you really believe that you were taken for some purpose of significance?" Lawrence asked. This time he did have to laugh at Johnson's confused look. "You were nothing - just available. I needed subjects and nobody would miss a dead man." Lawrence continued to laugh. "Oh, Mr. Johnson. . . . If you could see your face. What an extraordinary inflated sense of yourself you must have. You are a man who crawled out of a gutter. How could you have seriously believed that I considered you anything other than insignificant?"

Steve's look of confusion turned to a glare. "The insignificant lab rat," he said.

"Exactly." Lawrence had to chuckle again. The man finally understood. "You were born nothing and you 'died' nothing. If it weren't for Captain Donovan over there, you would have died for good and nobody would have even known or cared."

"You're wrong, Alamain."

Lawrence was surprised to hear Shane speak up. He turned to see that Shane had finished his futile efforts to find an opening in the gas chamber. He was now just watching Lawrence and Steve, still with that annoying look of defiance on his face.

_That will be gone soon_, Lawrence told himself. _Soon Donovan will be begging for mercy._

"I'm wrong, you say," Lawrence said, amused by Shane's bravado. "And how, pray tell, am I wrong?"

Shane shook his head. "You said nobody cared about Steve and whether he died, but you're wrong. You weren't here. You didn't see the effect it had on people." There was a tone to Shane's voice that Lawrence disliked. It reeked of condescension. "You're so obsessed with your name and your father, but you don't get it," Shane said. "It doesn't matter what your name is or who your parents are; what matters is what you do with your life. Steve has done more in his life to make a difference in people's lives than you can possibly imagine. When they thought he died, this entire city mourned."

"And I'm supposed to be impressed by that?" Lawrence asked. It actually was fitting that Salem would honor gutter trash like Johnson. "Not that it matters. This city will soon have much more to mourn."

As if on cue, the video technician entered the room. "We have word, sir, from the police radio. They are reporting an incident at the Salem Spectator. Mass casualties from some type of gas."

Lawrence looked at Steve, whose eye had widened and jaw had opened at the shock of the report. "Jack. . . ." Steve said, his voice trailing off.

"Just the opening salvo, actually," Lawrence replied. "You see, I learned that Katerina had been tasked with a secret project, which appeared to involve stockpiling large amounts of anti-venom." He turned to Shane, who, if he had been surprised by the report, stared stone-faced through the plexiglass walls of the chamber. "You don't seem surprised to hear about that, Captain Donovan. But, no, I suspect you were responsible for that plan. How ironic that the you were uniquely positioned to save this city, but your ISA colleagues chose to destroy you for political expediency - with Mr. Johnson's help, of course."

Shane just looked back and said, his voice surprisingly calm, "Carly has the supplies in place to counteract your toxin. Even as we speak, they are probably giving anti-venom to everyone at the Spectator." Shane looked at Steve. "We were prepared for him, Steve. I'm sure Jack and Jennifer are fine."

The show of confidence unnerved Lawrence. Was it just an act? Did Shane really believe he had the upper hand?

_It's time to prove just who has the upper hand here_, Lawrence thought.

"Your plan was quite impressive, Captain. I will admit that." Lawrence walked back over to the table where he had his control box and looked down at it. The device had several buttons, but the only two that he really saw were on the top. They were two red buttons next to one another. The one on the right had an "A" and the one on the left had a "B." It was almost too simple. Lawrence picked up the box so he held it in his left hand while he maintained the gun in his right. "Unfortunately, I figured out what the ISA intended to do . . . so I made alternative arrangements."

Lawrence could see a momentary flash of uncertainty on Shane's face, but it disappeared. Meanwhile, from his spot to Lawrence's left, Steve stepped forward.

"Uh huh," Lawrence said, turning the gun toward Steve. "No closer, Johnson."

Steve just glared. "I think you're full of it, Alamain," he said, sneering. "Between the Salem PD and the docs at the hospital, they're going to stop you. You tried to get revenge on Jack and Jennifer, but you failed."

"Not at all," Lawrence said, grinning. "You see. . . . Captain Donovan's plan had the potential to greatly disrupt my efforts. Not that it would have foiled them entirely, of course. Neither Katerina nor any other scientist - no matter how brilliant - could have found a cure for my toxin without proper samples, which, of course, the ISA never obtained-"

"Get to the point, Alamain," Steve growled.

Lawrence laughed. "Oh, you are an impatient sort," he said. _Almost like a child_. "But very well. The gas being released at the Spectator is not my toxin."

"What?" That came from Shane.

"That's right," Lawrence explained turning to face Shane. "In the off-chance that you managed to guess correctly, there was a possibility that your stockpiled anti-venom could be used to possibly arrest some aspects of my toxin. I could hardly have that happen. My prospective buyers must see the precise effects and qualities of the weapon they are purchasing."

Out the corner of Lawrence's eye, he saw Steve shake his head. "What the hell are you talking about?"

But Lawrence could tell that Shane understood. "It's a decoy, Steve. Whatever they're using at the Spectator is a decoy. Carly's giving out the supply of anti-venom to cure people who were exposed to a decoy gas."

"Precisely, Captain," Lawrence said. "You are quite the tactician. . . . But you underestimated me. The gas being released at the Spectator is run-of-the-mill nerve agent, potentially lethal if untreated, but hardly as effective as mine. Yet Katerina is now exhausting her stores of antidotes to treat the targets of the decoy attack, which will leave nothing for the true targets."

"You're sick, Alamain," Shane said.

Lawrence chuckled. "Always with the insults, Captain Donovan. And now that that part of the discussion is over, it is time to move on to the final stage in this drama." He looked at Shane and then turned to Steve. "And since you are here, Mr. Johnson, it is time for you to play your part."


	506. Chapter 506

"My part?" Steve asked. He looked at Lawrence and wondered what type of further insanity the man had in store for them. "Dude, if you think I'm doing anything to help you, you've got a few more screws loose than even I thought you had."

Lawrence responded with that smug smile of his - the one Steve desperately wanted to wipe off his face with a few well-placed punches.

"You see, Mr. Johnson, this entire event has been orchestrated to provide a grand demonstration of my new invention." Lawrence still had the gun trained on Steve and held his control box in the other. Out the corner of his eye, Steve saw Lawrence's man leave the room. Obviously, he thought his boss had everything under control. So, apparently, did Lawrence, who said, "Of course, you had some experience with the early version of the toxin, which I can assure is far more effective or, I should say, far more lethal in its present form. And now, when it is used on the true target, the entire world will see just how lethal it is."

As Lawrence gloated, Steve stole a glance in Shane's direction. He had stopped looking for a way to escape from the plexiglass enclosure and was just watching Lawrence. Steve could tell that Shane was trying to control his emotions, even as he asked, "What's your true target, Alamain?"

"Ah, Captain, I was hoping you would ask that question," Lawrence said, spinning around to face Shane. "After all, it was your nemesis, Mr. Winters, who made me realize how effective a target it would be."

Steve saw Shane's expression change. His eyes widened slightly and his mouth formed a small O. As the realization crossed Shane's face, it also hit Steve.

_No, he can't mean it._ Steve looked at Lawrence in shock. "You can't-"

"But I can, Mr. Johnson. What would hurt Salem more than the deaths of its most innocent?" Lawrence asked. "And when the world sees Salem mourn its children, the entire world will tremble. My toxin will be the most feared weapon in the world. Just the threat of its release will force governments to their knees. Salem Elementary will be just the first step."

Shane slammed his hands against the wall of his prison. "Alamain, you can't. . . . My son is there. They're just children."

Lawrence turned and smiled again. "What? Is that the great Captain Donovan begging? Didn't you assure me that would never happened?"

"Please, Alamain," Shane said. "You want me, fine. Just. . . just don't hurt those children."

Steve watched as Lawrence preened like a strutting peacock. Obviously, there had been some exchange earlier between Shane and Lawrence, and what Shane had just said struck Lawrence as some kind of victory.

With a sly laugh, Lawrence looked down at the control box in his hand. "Perhaps I was a bit hasty," he said. "And this is precisely how Mr. Johnson can provide an exciting addition to our little drama."

Steve glared as Lawrence turned to face him, but he caught a look from Shane that told him to play along. "All right, Alamain . . . go ahead. What 'addition' can I provide?"

"You are such a classic antihero, Mr. Johnson." Lawrence chuckled as he paced back and forth in front of Steve. "But this truly presents a great cinematic opportunity. You see, I am thinking that you should be given a choice - yes, a true choice of life or death." He held up the box in his hand. "As you can see, this box has two red buttons at the top. On the right - Button Number One - which will release the gas at Salem Elementary. On the left is Button Number Two, which controls the gas contained in the canisters connected to the chamber currently occupied by your good friend Captain Donovan."

Steve shook his head. "You sick son of a bitch," he muttered in a low voice.

"It's up to you, Mr. Johnson," Lawrence said. "Choose Button Number One and you can save the man who saved your life. But if you do so, all of those innocent little children will die. Or you can choose Button Number Two and save a bunch of little brats you don't know and we can both stand here and enjoy watching Captain Donovan take his last breaths." Lawrence smiled smugly again. "As I understand it, the process is extremely painful."

Steve stared at the remote control in disbelief. "You can't be serious," he said.

"Of course, I'm serious," Lawrence replied.

_I won't do this_, Steve thought. He wouldn't just choose to let someone die. Besides, it wasn't like this was a real choice anyway. Steve knew Lawrence's game.

"I'm not going to play your stupid games, Alamain. Whatever 'drama' you're trying to make, I'm not playing along. That's not me, remember. I'm the 'insignificant' guy."

"Actually, I thought that was why it was such an interesting idea," Lawrence said. "Captain Donovan must have made life-or-death decisions plenty of times in his life, but you . . . you're just the insignificant everyman, what would they call you in the movies, the 'average Joe.' So leaving such a momentous decision in your hands seemed like true cinematic irony."

Steve snorted. "Take your 'cinematic irony' and shove it."

"Very well," Lawrence said. "I guess I'll just kill them all."

"Wait!" Shane cried out from the plexiglass enclosure.

Steve looked at him and their eyes met.

"Steve," Shane said. "You have to. They're just children."

Steve felt his stomach lurch and thought the entire room began to spin. He wanted to be sick, but he steadied himself before he faced Lawrence again.

Lawrence stood, that smug grin even broader than before, the remote control raised almost like he was lifting a glass for a toast.

"So which will it be, Mr. Johnson: Option One or Option Two?"


	507. Chapter 507

"Kim!" Kayla yelled into her end of the phone line as she heard a crashing noise on the other end. She could hear sounds on the other end, including painful cries for help, but Kim didn't respond. "Kim!" Kayla repeated, but there was no answer. She closed her eyes for a moment and then her training took over.

She hung up the phone, whirled around, and pointed at one of the nurses standing nearby. "Tell the trauma center we have a reported toxin attack at the Spectator. Tell them to prepare for multiple victims and they better have quarantine areas set up."

The nurse stared at her for a moment. "Go!" Kayla yelled. "Now!" The nurse nodded and moved quickly towards the trauma center.

Kayla took a deep breath and looked down at the receptionist at the desk. "Call 911 and tell them about the report of the toxin attack. Tell them we need all available paramedics and ambulances to assist."

The receptionist nodded and picked up the phone. Kayla could hear the woman making the report as she ran towards the stairwell.

Saying a quick prayer for Kim and the other victims, Kayla ran down the stairs to the immunology lab. She prayed that Carly was already there, so she wouldn't have to be tracked down. Kayla didn't have time to waste.

When she reached the lab, she automatically began entering her code into the door lock, then cursed when she remembered she no longer had clearance. Kayla then began pounding on the door, hoping that somebody would answer.

After a few seconds, Carly opened the door. "Kayla," Carly said, clearly surprised. "What is going on?"

Pushing her way in and ignoring the surprised looks from the workers in the lab, Kayla rushed directly towards Carly's office. "Kim called," she said over her shoulder as she moved. "There's been a toxin attack at the Spectator. We need to get the antidote and get over there."

"Oh my god," she heard Carly say behind her. When they reached the office, Carly opened the door and immediately began gathering boxes off the shelves behind her desk. As they gathered the boxes, Carly said, "The antidote is already in pre-measured doses. They are measured out for an adult at an average weight of 150 pounds." Carly paused. "But there is no guarantee it will work, you know."

Kayla nodded grimly. "I know. But right now, it's the best chance we have."

Carly nodded in return. As they headed through the lab, Carly told Brian Rothschild, the other researcher, and the lab workers to take the remaining boxes of anti-venom to the trauma center and get them on a truck to the Spectator. Those orders delivered, she followed Kayla out the lab and they carried their boxes up the stairs. As they ran through the trauma center to exit the building, Kayla could see people frantically working to prepare for casualties.

"Kayla!" she heard the shout behind her and slowed. Neil Curtis was running toward her. "What the hell is going on?" Neil asked.

She quickly explained the phone call from Kim. "Carly and I are going to the Spectator to treat the victims. I'll call in when I have more information. Can you see that more of the antidote gets over there?"

"Okay," Neil agreed. "Be careful."

Kayla nodded and took off again. As she and Carly exited the building, she could see two paramedics running for an ambulance.

"Wait!" she called out, running towards them with Carly following. "Are you going to the Spectator?"

"Yeah," the paramedic said. "We have to go now."

"I know," Kayla agreed, reaching the ambulance. "But we're going with you."

Without waiting for a response, Kayla opened the back door of the ambulance and placed the boxes she was carrying inside. Carly followed suit and they both climbed into the back of the ambulance and closed the door. Once inside, she pounded on the side and yelled, "Let's go."

She felt the ambulance pull away and heard the sirens start. For the first time since Kim's phone call, she allowed herself to breathe. She looked over at Carly and saw her own fear and concern mirrored on Carly's face.

"Do we know how many victims there are?" Carly asked softly.

Kayla shook her head. "No. But it's a normal workday at the Spectator. Plus there are other offices in that building." She looked at the boxes. "Do you think we'll have enough antidote?"

"We have 100 doses," Carly replied. "It's going to have to be enough for the first group. We'll set up a triage outside the building. These doses will go to the most seriously affected. By the time we finish with these ones, we should have more boxes. We'll need to make sure everyone in the vicinity of the attack gets a dose just as a precautionary measure. With this stuff, we can't take any chances."

Kayla remembered the video, so she understood what Carly meant. She sighed and leaned back against the side of the ambulance. A sudden weariness washed over her and, for the first time since the call from Kim, she let herself think of Steve. She silently prayed that he was okay and then, as the ambulance screeched to a stop, pushed him out of her thoughts and focused on what she was about to face next.

As soon as the ambulance stopped, Kayla and Carly moved together to the door, opened it and jumped out. Kayla immediately heard the cries of people in pain and quickly looked around.

The Spectator parking lot was filled with people, coughing, crying, and some lying all too still. Turning back to the task at hand, she heard Carly issuing orders to the paramedics and began handing out boxes of the antidote.

Taking a box for herself, Kayla began running towards the victims closest to the building. As she ran, she kept looking for Kim. Suddenly, Kayla spotted her. Kim was lying on the ground, not far from the entrance to the building.

Running faster, Kayla quickly reached her sister's side. As she dropped down beside her, she spotted Jack and Jennifer just a few feet away.

"Kim?" Kayla called, trying to get some response from her sister. But Kim did not respond. As Kayla got closer, she could see that Kim's eyes were open and she was gasping for breath. "Kim?" Kayla repeated.

Kim's head lolled slightly. "Kay-" The word turned into a sickly cough that obviously caused her pain. Kayla could see a spasm shake Kim's chest and she cried out, but the sound came out only as a whimper. Kim looked up at Kayla. "It hurts," she breathed, her voice barely audible.

Cursing, Kayla ripped open the box and quickly pulled out the pre-measured dose. Saying a silent prayer she injected Kim, and waited, hoping for some sign the antidote was beginning to work.

"Come on, Kimmie," Kayla begged. "Don't you dare give up now."


	508. Chapter 508

Lawrence held up the remote. "So which will it be, Mr. Johnson: Option One or Option Two?"

Shane could see the indecision in Steve's eye. He was working through the different options, but there really was no choice. The truth was Shane knew that Lawrence had no intention of making it any choice; he would release the toxin at the school because he had to show his weapon off to his potential buyers. Shane just hoped Steve had the same realization.

_Right now, it's all about buying time. Maybe we can stall long enough for someone to call in the cavalry._

"Mr. Johnson, I'm waiting," Lawrence said. "I can be a patient man, but please don't push my limits."

Steve glared at Lawrence and then looked back at Shane. "This isn't right, dude," he said, his voice low.

With a slight nod in Steve's direction, Shane thought, _No, it's not right, but it just is._ "You're not making a choice, Steve. It's not a real choice. . . . They're just kids."

Steve turned back to Lawrence. "Put me in there instead of Donovan. Let him go. Then you can have me like you should have had all along."

That caused Lawrence to laugh. "How magnanimous, Mr. Johnson. What a noble gesture from the insignificant lab rat." He turned to Shane. "And what do you think, Captain? Should I accept the trade?"

Shane already knew his response would be pointless, so he just stayed silent as Lawrence turned back to Steve.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Johnson, but as noble as your offer is, I must decline. You see, you fail to understand why Captain Donovan was selected for this great honor. It has nothing to do with his actions concerning you. No. . . . Captain Donovan's fate was sealed well before he ever set foot in Egypt." Lawrence glanced at Shane. "Would you care to explain, Captain, or should I?"

As he saw the true madness in Lawrence's eyes, Shane remembered Kim telling him that Lawrence did not think the way other people thought. He truly was a sociopath. Shane could only stare at the man and shake his head in disbelief. "Do you really think your father would want innocent children murdered in his name?"

"You killed him," Lawrence snarled. For the first time, he showed signs of losing his composure. His face began to turn red. "You and Jack Devereaux and Bo Brady. All of you. You came to my father's house and you killed him!"

Shane shook his head. Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw Steve start to bend over and reach down, like he was trying to get something from his shoe, and it dawned on Shane that Steve must be armed. Shane felt his heart begin to race. Maybe there was some hope. Maybe they had a chance. Maybe he had a chance. _My only chance. _He needed to keep Lawrence's attention.

"You're wrong, Lawrence," Shane said. "Your father died because he discovered what you did and he was repulsed. He died trying to undo the damage you did. Hurting more people in his name is not what Leopold would have wanted."

"You lie!" Lawrence shrieked. He raised the gun and, for an instant, Shane thought he was going to fire at the gas chamber, but Lawrence spun suddenly, catching Steve in a crouch. "Don't move or I'll kill you right now."

Steve froze. Shane could see that he had not managed to reach his gun.

"Stand up," Lawrence ordered.

Unable to do anything else, Steve followed the order.

"Very sneaky," Lawrence said. He did not look at Shane, but he added, "Almost an effective ruse, Captain. You and Mr. Johnson might have succeeded with a lesser adversary, but you never fail to underestimate me." With the gun still trained on Steve, Lawrence gave another order. "Remove your boots - without using your hands."

Scowling, Steve kicked at his left boot with his right one until it came free. Then he used his stockinged foot to remove the right boot, which came off and fell sideways to the floor. As it hit, Shane saw a glint of gray metal slide out of the boot.

"Very ingenious," Lawrence said. He motioned to the gun. "Kick it away."

Obviously frustrated that the distraction had failed, Steve kicked the gun, which slid across the floor and came to rest only a few feet from the outer wall of Shane's plexiglass prison. He looked down and realized it was his M9; Steve must have taken it from Shane's desk. It lay there, almost taunting him.

"So what now, Alamain," Steve said. "You going to shoot me?"

Shane looked up from the gun lying on the ground and back at Steve, who was staring down the barrel of Lawrence's pistol. Steve did not seem afraid. He looked like he was almost daring Lawrence to fire.

"Come on, Larry," Steve taunted. "Let's end this now."

Lawrence chuckled. "You would like that, Mr. Johnson, wouldn't you? It would be, what you would call, an 'easy out,' wouldn't it? No hard choices. But I am not letting you off so easy. I've already given you the options. Select 'Option One' and Captain Donovan gets to live, but all those parents will have to bury their children. Select 'Option Two' and we will get to watch as Captain Donovan suffers an excruciatingly painful death before our very eyes."

Steve looked at Shane and their eyes met once again. This time, Shane could see the resignation in Steve's face. He suspected that expression mirrored his own. The decision had been made.

Shane closed his eyes. He pictured Kim on Halloween, the night she had told him about what had happened with Cal. He remembered how he had forced her to confront her true fear - that he would leave her - and how he had promised he would stay with her. He should never have made that promise. And once he had. . . . He tried to stop himself from regretting his decision to come after Lawrence. He could not focus on regrets now. Shane just hoped Kim would forgive him someday.

Opening his eyes again, Shane looked at Steve. They both knew there was no more hope. Steve stared back for a moment, then broke eye contact and looked down at the floor before he gave his almost inaudible answer.

"Two."

Lawrence smiled triumphantly. "The choice is made." He held the remote control box and pressed the button on the right.

Almost immediately, Shane heard a series of whirring sounds above him as the vents sealed tight. Those were followed by a brief silence and a sharp click. Shane's heartbeat pounded in his ears and then he heard it - a soft hissing sound that filled the chamber.

"Isn't it wonderful," Lawrence said, a broad smile across his face. "Father, your death has been avenged."

Shane took a deep breath and fought against his rising fear. If this was how he was going to die, he would face death like a man. Shane looked again at Steve, who was still looking down at the ground.

Shane could feel the gas. It had an acrid, stale smell and it scratched at his throat when he spoke. "Steve," he called out, wondering how long it would be before the gas robbed him of the ability to speak. "Steve!" Shane repeated when Steve did not look up.

That did the trick and his friend raised his head, revealing a fury in his eye that Shane had never seen before. He glared at Shane.

The gas was growing thicker in the chamber and it caused Shane to fight for some air before he could speak again. When he finally managed, he said, "It's okay. You didn't make this choice." Shane knew Steve would feel responsible, but he needed to know he was not to blame. Shane felt his hands starting to burn, as he began to feel the effects of the toxin. "Tell Kim . . . and my kids-"

"Oh how dramatic," Lawrence said, his tone mocking. "The dying man's last request."

Shane's throat was burning. A gray film was clouding his vision and his entire body felt heavy. His mind ran through the images he had seen and the reports he had heard. Weakness, blurry vision. . . . Soon he would be unable to talk at all. _This is it_, he thought. _My last chance to tell them that I love them. _Shane fought against the poison and forced his eyes open so he could see Steve again. "Tell them," Shane begged. "Steve. . . please tell. . . ."

"Dammit, Donovan," Steve growled. "Would you just shut the hell up? I'm not going to tell them a damn thing. You will." He spun toward Lawrence. "Sorry, Larry. You forgot about Option Three."


	509. Chapter 509

"Come on, Kimmie. Don't you dare give up now."

Even amidst the pain coursing through her body, Kim didn't miss the determination in her little sister's voice. She was about to respond when another spasm hit. As Kim waited for it to subside, she realized it was not as bad as the previous ones.

_Maybe it's working_, she thought hopefully. As that thought passed, she felt a subtle easing of the pain. Suddenly, it wasn't quite so hard to draw a breath.

"Kim?" she heard Kayla call out. "Are you feeling any different? Better? Worse?"

Moving gingerly, Kim lifted her head and nodded. "It doesn't hurt as much now as it did before. I think it's working."

Kayla smiled. "That's good. That's really good." Kim could see her sister looking around before turning back to Kim. "Just keep still and let the antidote work. I've got to help the others." At Kim's nod, she continued, "I'll be back just as soon as I can."

Kim reached for Kayla's hand before she could leave. "Thank you," she said softly. Kayla just smiled and squeezed Kim's hand before standing up and moving away.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kim could see Kayla quickly administering the antidote to Jack and Jennifer, then moving on to the next group of victims. As she watched, Kim realized the pain was nearly gone.

Still moving slowly, Kim raised her arms and looked at her hands. Just a few minutes ago, they had felt nearly paralyzed but now they were responding normally. She put her hands on the ground and pushed herself into a sitting position.

She looked around and nearly gasped at the sight. The entire parking lot and lawn next to the Spectator building were filled with people lying on the ground, moaning and coughing. She could see Kayla moving efficiently among them, administering the antidote, and offering what comfort she could.

Kim could also see paramedics from the line of ambulances working among the victims. Carly was at the far end of the lawn, examining people being brought to her by paramedics and firemen.

As Kim watched, a man wearing a gas mask rushed a young woman over to Carly. Kim felt her heart skip a beat as she realized the woman was the Spectator receptionist. Kim remembered how the girl had fallen inside the building, but Kim had been unable to help. She said a prayer as Carly gave the girl some of the antidote. _Please_, she whispered. _Please don't be too late._

A shadow crossed her line of sight and she looked up to see a police detective standing there. She had to remember his name - _Brian . . . Brian Scofield_. He had driven her and Andrew home from Salem Elementary the day of the shooting there.

"We don't seem to meet under the best circumstances," she said, surprised by the strength of her own voice.

Brian shrugged. "Are you okay?" He seemed nervous. "I wasn't supposed to leave you. Commander Brady's orders, but. . . ."

"I'm fine," Kim told him.

Brian's entire body seemed to sag in relief. "Oh, good. It's just . . . I don't think, well . . . _this_ Commander Brady hasn't been in Salem very long, and, uh, I don't think he realized that my dad works here."

"Oh." Kim suddenly grew concerned. "Is he okay?"

Brian held up his hands. "I think so. Whatever Dr. Manning is giving folks seems to be working, but they want to take him to the hospital for further tests." He frowned slightly.

Kim could almost read his thoughts. "I really am fine. You should go with your father. I don't need a babysitter. And if you need me to tell that to Commander Brady, send him my way."

As Brian walked away, Kim looked around until she spotted Roman. He was standing with Abe Carver and several other police officers. As she watched him, he turned and caught her eye. A relieved smile crossed his face and she smiled in return, doing her best to let him know she was okay.

Roman stared at her for a long moment, then nodded, and turned back to Abe. Based on his gestures, Kim figured he was doing his best to coordinate the quarantine of the scene.

"Kim?" said a voice back to her right. Turning, she saw Jack and Jennifer both sitting up and looking much better than they had moments ago.

"Are you two okay?" she asked.

"I . . . I think so," Jack replied, looking down at Jennifer.

Jennifer nodded. "Whatever Kayla gave us really seems to work."

"How did you know?" Jack asked, looking at Kim.

Kim did not know what Jack was talking about. "How did I know what?"

Jack moved closer to Kim. "How did you know what was happening . . . the gas?" He paused, as if replaying the events in this mind. "And you called Kayla as soon as it happened. . . ." He looked more closely at Kim now. "This wasn't a surprise, was it?"

Kim gathered her thoughts for a moment. Obviously, there was no need for secrecy anymore, but she was not sure how she could explain it all to Jack. She could also see that Jennifer also was looking at her expectantly.

"If you are asking if I knew there was going to be an attack on the Spectator, then the answer is yes, it was a surprise."

Jack scoffed. "So you just happened to be here at the right time, huh?"

"Or the wrong time, depending on how you look at it," Kim shot back. "But if I hadn't been here, things could have been much worse."

A bit of the anger in Jack's eyes dissipated, but not all. "Okay, you didn't know about the attack, but you knew about the gas. How?"

Kim looked around and could see that people were starting to recover. "Look, this really isn't the time for this conversation. We should be helping these people."

"We will help, but you have a second to answer my question. How did you know?"

Kim sighed. "Shane figured out that Lawrence was working on some kind of deadly toxin to use as a weapon. He had the immunology lab working on an antidote because he suspected Lawrence would use it here."

Jack shook his head, slowly rose, and then helped Jennifer to her feet. Looking down at Kim, he snarled, "So Shane knew about this and didn't bother to tell anybody, not even the people Lawrence had a reason to try and hurt."

Kim took a deep breath and stood up. "It's not that simple, Jack. If the information had gotten out, it would have caused a panic and probably caused Lawrence to go underground. The only chance they had was to try and stop Lawrence before he attacked."

"Well that really worked now, didn't it?" Jack snapped. Jennifer tried to calm him down, but it clearly wasn't working. Jack spun back towards Kim. "You said 'they.' This is what Steve was working on with Shane wasn't it?"

Kim nodded and, for the first time, let herself think about Shane. "Yes, and right now, Shane is missing and, since Steve isn't here, I'm guessing he's out there trying to find him."

Jack looked away. "I'm sorry. I know you're worried about Shane. But I don't understand why somebody couldn't have warned me . . . us . . . about this."

Kim had reached her limit. "You know damn well why they couldn't tell you." She glared at Jack. "You don't have the best history of keeping your mouth shut."

Before Jack could respond, Jennifer stepped between them. "Kim's right. This isn't the time to have this discussion. We need to make sure everybody is okay."

Jack nodded and, without looking at Kim, turned and walked towards a group of people sitting nearby. Jennifer offered Kim a small shrug and followed.

Kim sighed softly as the left. She had not meant to get into an argument with Jack and she could not even blame him for being upset. She knew why Shane had insisted on keeping the information secret, but she also knew that keeping secrets always had consequences.

She spotted Kayla and Carly talking together and began walking towards them. As she reached them she heard pieces of their conversation.

". . . . transported to University. Most of them are elderly or have pre-existing conditions that should probably be checked out," Carly said.

"That makes sense," Kayla replied. "Something is strange though."

"What?" Carly asked.

"That video we saw . . . the victim had spasms and paralysis, but there was no coughing. But here, everybody was coughing-" Kayla stopped as she saw Kim approaching.

"Kim!"

"Hi, baby sister," Kim said.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay? I know I didn't get back, but I saw you standing and talking to Jack and Jennifer."

"I'm feeling fine now," Kim said. "You had your job to do, so don't apologize for doing it." She looked at Carly. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to see if I could do anything to help."

"You're not interrupting," Carly replied. "I'm glad you're okay."

Kim hesitated and then asked, "That girl they just brought out." She motioned to the receptionist. "Is she-"

"She should be fine," Carly said. Turning back to Kayla, she said, "You're right about the coughing, but maybe that had to do with the gas. In the tape, it was given with a mask, not through room exposure."

Kim wondered what tape they were talking about, but figured this was not the time to ask. She just listened.

Kayla's eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed the way it did whenever she seemed to think deeply. She turned to Kim. "You haven't felt any kind of relapse since I administered the antidote have you?"

"You mean like the pain and everything coming back?" When Kayla nodded, Kim shook her head. "No. I could feel it working almost immediately, and I've felt progressively better ever since. No relapse at all."

Kayla glanced at her watch and then looked at Carly. "That had to be at least 15 minutes ago. There are no secondary effects."

Carly looked around and Kim's followed her gaze. People who had been lying on the ground, appearing close to death just a few minutes ago, were now standing and talking.

"You're right," Carly said, turning back to Kayla. "Maybe they fixed that."

"But why would they want to?" Kayla wondered. "It made the toxin even more dangerous."

Carly shook her head. "I don't know. I'm just glad that the antidote we developed worked. Everyone seems to be recovering pretty well. It looks like Lawrence's plan failed."

"Yeah," Kayla said, sounding uncertain. "No relapses. . . . Not even any fatalities." She let the words die, but her expression spoke volumes. She was troubled.

Carly seemed to pick up on what Kayla was saying, and she frowned. "Not even among people with prolonged exposures. . . ."

Kim felt a growing unease. She looked at Kayla, unsure of what her sister and Carly were thinking. But she could tell it was bad. Finally, unable to stop herself, she said, "What's going on, Kay? Tell me. What's wrong?"


	510. Chapter 510

Lawrence had seen the toxin in action enough to know what was happening as he watched Shane in the gas chamber. Although the toxin was invisible to the naked eye, Lawrence could almost picture the gaseous tendrils as they snaked around the figure trapped inside the small enclosure. Lawrence chuckled as Shane tried to look so stoic, and then grinned as Shane began to show the first signs of exposure. Shane probably was not even aware of the way his eyes blinked and then seemed to stay half-closed. His words came out raspy and slurred as he called out, first with some bizarre statements to Johnson, seemingly to assuage the man's guilt for choosing this option, then, as Lawrence spotted the first tremors shake Shane's body, he called out some final words to his family.

It was all almost so perfect, one might think they were playing according to a script.

Lawrence laughed aloud as Shane begged Johnson to take a final message. Unable to stop himself, Lawrence gave a mocking cheer. "Oh how dramatic. . . . The dying man's last request."

His eyes never left Shane. He was trying to talk, but the toxin was causing the muscles on his face to go slack. Lawrence saw Shane's hand shudder as he choked out another request that Johnson give a final message to Shane's family. It was all so wonderfully cinematic.

Gasping, Shane begged, "Steve. . . please tell. . . ."

As Lawrence chuckled, he barely heard Steve's response. It sounded like some guttural creature, barely worth noticing. Lawrence ignored Steve at first, but he saw an expression cross Shane's face - surprise. Then Lawrence registered Steve's actual words.

"Sorry, Larry. You forgot about Option Three."

Lawrence had been so focused on Shane that he had forgotten to watch Steve. He turned, but Steve had already moved.

_No_! Lawrence yelled silently.

The breath rushed out of Lawrence's lungs as Steve's shoulder slammed into his chest. The force sent him falling backward. The gun flew out of his hand. Where it landed, Lawrence had no idea. He jerked his head around, hoping it might be nearby, but he could not see it. The only gun he saw was the one Steve had kicked aside earlier. It was sitting on the ground near the sealed, plexiglass door of the gas chamber, too far to be of use. Lawrence caught a glimpse of Shane, now on his knees, leaning heavily against the clear wall, but the glimpse lasted only momentarily, because Steve grabbed Lawrence's collar and pulled his head off the floor.

"Where's the antidote, Alamain?" Steve's voice was little more than a growl. He was now on top of Lawrence, his knee pressing into Lawrence's ribs, making it hard to breathe. Steve's words came through gritted teeth, as he snarled at Lawrence. "You're finished," Steve said. "So tell me where the antidote is."

_Finished_? Lawrence heard the word, but he would never believe it. He would never let this . . . this insect defeat him. In his hand, Lawrence felt something, then realized he was still holding the remote.

Lawrence began to smile. "I'm hardly finished," he wheezed. He could not see the remote, but he felt along the device for the buttons.

"I don't think so," Steve snarled. He raised his arm and smashed his elbow down on Lawrence wrist.

Pain flared through Lawrence's hand and arm. He heard shrieking, not realizing at first that the shrieks were coming from him. He tried to clasp his injured wrist with his other hand, but Steve had it pinned. Then, in one swift movement, Steve lifted Lawrence from the floor.

"You broke my hand," Lawrence whimpered, still in disbelief.

Steve sneered. "That's the least of your worries, Alamain. Tell me where the antidote is."

Lawrence remembered the remote. He looked down and saw it sitting near his feet. Too far to reach.

"Tell me!" Steve shouted.

Over Steve's shoulder, Lawrence could see the gas chamber. The toxin had taken full effect. Shane was curled on his side. His body was still, but then shuddered violently as it convulsed. A sound followed, not a human scream so much as the cry of a wounded animal. The painful convulsions continued as Shane's body writhed in pain.

Through his own pain, Lawrence managed to smile. _My father is avenged._

An open palm flashed across Lawrence's view and he heard the sound of the slap as it struck his cheek. "Give me the antidote," Steve said. "You've got five seconds to tell me where it is."

Lawrence laughed, even as the searing pain made him nauseated. "Five seconds won't matter," Lawrence said. "He's already dead."

Steve shook his head. "Wrong answer."

His arm wrapped around Lawrence's neck in a choking hold. "What are-" Lawrence gasped, as he was dragged forward, toward the gas chamber.

"You're going to tell me where the antidote is," Steve said, shoving him against the plexiglass.

Lawrence looked down. On the ground, seemingly powerless to raise his head, Shane stared out at them through eyes that could barely open. Another convulsion wracked his body.

"You think showing me his death up close will make me change my mind," Lawrence said. He laughed. "This is my victory, Johnson. And when an hour passes without my pushing the other button, Ivan will release the toxin at the school. You've stopped nothing."

"Oh, I'm going to stop you," Steve said, his voice low and tight. He reached for the lever on the panel of controls.

Lawrence's eyes widened. "No," he said. "Don't touch that." It would open the chamber and release the toxin without going through all the fail-safes. "You'll kill us all."

Steve grinned like a crazy man. "You think so?"

Lawrence's could not believe it and struggled to pull away, but Steve was too strong. Steve kept grinning as he reached out and raised the lever. The door immediately flew open, releasing a loud hiss as the seal broke. Steve pulled Lawrence close to him, almost in a bear hug and moved to the open door only a few feet from where Shane's body continued to convulse.

"Guess you didn't see that coming, did you?" Steve's grin never faltered as he pulled Lawrence into the chamber, which was still filled with the choking gas. "This is your party, Alamain. We can't have you miss out on all the fun."


	511. Chapter 511

As Steve knocked the remote control free, Lawrence screamed in pain. Steve wanted to make him scream even more. He wanted to hammer him with his fists. He wanted to make the man pay for what he had done - to Steve, to Kayla, to their family.

But revenge would have to wait. He had a man's life to save.

He had hated playing along with Lawrence's game, but he had no illusions that it was just for show. Like Shane had said, Steve had no "choice." Lawrence had no intention of leaving the school untouched. But with no chance of taking Lawrence down before making a "choice," Steve had done what he and Shane both knew had to happen. Any attempt to attack Lawrence before the toxin was released in the chamber would have resulted in Steve being shot.

Steve had needed a distraction, and Shane had known it. The only option was to let the toxin be released - and now Shane could be dying.

_Not if I have anything to do with it._

Steve pulled Lawrence off the ground and demanded to know where the antidote was. Steve knew enough from his time as Lawrence's lab rat that the antidote would be nearby. There was still time to save Shane. Steve just needed to make Lawrence reveal where the antidote was.

"Tell me!" Steve shouted. Even as he did, he heard Shane cry out. For a moment, Steve could almost feel the burning as the uncontrollable spasms flared painfully through his body. He knew what Shane was feeling. No man deserved to die like that.

"Give me the antidote," Steve demanded, his face inches from Lawrence's. "You've got five seconds to tell me where it is."

Lawrence laughed weakly. "Five seconds won't matter," Lawrence said. "He's already dead."

The new plan was already forming in Steve's head. If Lawrence wouldn't give up the antidote to save Shane, there was one person he would try to save.

"Wrong answer," Steve growled, pulling Lawrence into a headlock. He dragged Lawrence toward the cell. Spotting the control panel, Steve had figured out that it had an emergency release for the door. The lever he could see was his best guess. But first he would give Lawrence one last chance.

"You're going to tell me where the antidote is," Steve said, shoving him face-first against the plexiglass. At their feet, Shane shook again, the convulsions causing his body to twist and contort. _Hang in there, Donovan_, Steve pleaded silently.

In Steve's grasp, Lawrence was laughing and gloating. ". . . when an hour passes without my pushing the other button, Ivan will release the toxin at the school. You've stopped nothing."

_That was it. That was the point of no return._ "Oh, I'm going to stop you," Steve said. He lifted the lever and the door opened.

Lawrence panicked and tried to break free of Steve's grip, but Steve was the stronger man today. "You'll kill us all," Lawrence shouted.

_If I have to_, Steve thought. _If that's what it takes_. But Lawrence Alamain was a coward who did not understand that sometimes a man's life was worth risking for others. Lawrence did not believe in self-sacrifice - and that was exactly what Steve was counting on.

_You'd better hope you're right_, a tiny voice in the back of Steve's head muttered.

"Guess you didn't see that coming, did you?" Steve said, keeping a plastered grin on his face. He could not let any sign of doubt show as he pulled Lawrence into the chamber still filled with the choking gas. "This is your party, Alamain. We can't have you miss out on all the fun."

He pulled the door back, though it did not seal behind him. That done, Steve held Lawrence tightly and waited. The gas was still thick in the enclosed space. "Take a deep breath, Alamain. Come on now. Just a deep breath."

Lawrence tried to hold his breath, but Steve was not going to let him get away so easily. With his free hand, Steve brought a hard fist into Lawrence's abdomen. Lawrence grunted and gasped for breath, taking in the toxin he had so desperately tried to fight.

"We're all dead now," Steve said. "We're all dead unless you tell me where the antidote is."

Lawrence shook his head.

"You don't get it," Steve said. "You think I'm going to collapse and then you're going to rush out and get the antidote." Steve clenched his hold even tighter. He could feel his tongue starting to get heavy, but he knew the effects were even more pronounced on his adversary. "Do you feel that, Alamain? The poison is filling your body. Having trouble seeing now? You're running out of time. Soon you won't be able to speak at all."

Lawrence was gasping for breath. He still had some strength, but his efforts were weak compared to Steve.

"Tell me where it is and we all can live," Steve said. He prayed that was true. Glancing down, he saw that Shane was no longer shaking. He was lying motionless. Only faint movement in his chest and some tiny, strangled gasps gave any sign that Shane was still alive. _No_! Steve screamed silently. "Tell me!" he shouted again. He spun Lawrence around and raised his fist.

Lawrence's eyes were struggling to stay open due to the effect of the poison, but Steve saw the fear and shock in them. "How?" Lawrence whispered in a choking gasp.

"Tell me!" Steve yelled again. He could feel the toxin trying to strip him of his strength, but it was not working as fast as on the others. Steve grinned. "I can still save us," he said. "You're already too weak, but I can get to it. Tell me where it is."

Lawrence's eyes fixed on some drawers across the room. "Second drawer. . . third from right. . . . Blue . . . blue label. . . ."

That was all Steve needed. He let Lawrence go, paying no attention as the man dropped heavily to the ground. "Hang on, Shane," Steve urged, but he wasted no time checking Shane's condition. _Just hang on. _He ran through the door, fighting to control muscles that did not want to work completely. Stumbling, he crossed the room. His hands were shaking by the time he reached the wall.

_Third from the right_, he repeated, even as his brain struggled to process the thought. _Two follows one. Three follows two. _Steve's mind worked slowly, but he thought he found the right set of drawers. _Second drawer._ There were five of them and Steve guessed Lawrence meant the second from the top.

The drawer was heavy and refused to budge. Or was it just that it seemed heavy because the toxin had sapped so much strength from his muscles. _Help me_, Steve screamed silently as he jerked at the drawer.

It slid open and Steve saw rows of vials, but his sight was fuzzy. He struggled to make out the different vials. Some, he could tell were wrong. There was a row of vials containing a red liquid, but his memories told him that was more toxin. _Blue label_, he reminded himself. He looked through the rows, trying to spot a sign of blue through the gray fog that filled his eyes.

_There_.

There were only a few vials with the blue label - maybe ten in all. Steve grabbed one, uncorked it, and drained it in a single gulp. Carrying a few more vials, he crossed back toward the plexiglass cell. Lawrence was on his hands and knees just outside the chamber. He had crawled through the open door, having enough strength to make it out. But Shane was not moving at all.

_Please let me be in time_, Steve prayed. He could tell the antidote was having an effect. His strength already was returning to his muscles and his vision was clearing.

On the floor of the chamber, Shane lay still. His eyes were slightly open, but Steve could not tell if they were seeing anything. Shane's mouth hung open, but that was likely due to the toxin's effects on his muscles.

"Come on, dude," Steve said, as he crouched down beside Shane. He dropped most of the antidote vials on the ground while he uncorked one. He thought he felt Shane's breath on his hand as he poured the liquid down his throat, but Steve feared that might be wishful thinking.

_I have to get him out of this thing_, Steve thought. He had no idea if more toxin was being released, but even if it wasn't, he wanted to get Shane out of this plexiglass prison.

Grabbing under the shoulders, Steve used his returning strength to pull Shane through the door. He dragged him past Lawrence, who was now curled on his side. Steve lowered Shane to the ground, so he was flat on his back and searched for some sign of movement in Shane's chest that would indicate if he was breathing. Steve stared into Shane's half-opened eyes. "Don't give up, Donovan," Steve begged. "Don't you give up now."


	512. Chapter 512

"What's wrong, Kay? Tell me."

Kayla looked at her sister, but did not respond. The simple fact was that she was not sure what was wrong. The antidote had worked - better than they could have hoped. But something felt wrong and Kayla could see that same concern in Carly's eyes.

"Kayla?" Kim repeated.

Kayla shrugged and looked at Kim. "I don't know, Kim, but something feels off." Kayla looked around. "The effects people had here weren't the same as what we saw from other victims of Alamain's toxin."

"And the antidote worked on every single victim," Carly added. "Even those with the longest exposure are recovering." Carly looked grimly at Kayla. "It's all too easy."

"Easy!" Kim said incredulously. "It sure didn't feel that easy to me."

"Of course not," Kayla replied. "Whatever this was, it was powerful. It's just that it doesn't match what we thought we knew about Lawrence's toxin - not exactly anyway."

"So what are you saying?" Kim asked. "Are you saying this wasn't Lawrence's toxin?"

Before Kayla could respond, she heard the loud roar of a motorcycle and looked up to see Bo riding into the parking lot. She was not sure how he had gotten past the police blockade, but she certainly wasn't surprised.

Bo quickly pulled to a stop, jumped of the motorcycle, and ran towards the three women. As he reached them, he pulled Carly into his arms and looked at his sisters. "Are you all okay?"

"We're fine," Kayla said with a small smile. Kim nodded in agreement and Kayla heard a muffled "me too" from Carly.

"How did you know we were here?" Kim asked.

Bo kept a strong hold on Carly. "Steve told me to stick around the hospital to see if I could help you and Carly if Lawrence released his toxin. I'd just taken a few minutes to check on John and when I came out, the ambulances started going crazy. Neil told me about the attack here." He looked at Kayla. "I knew it was the toxin that you and Steve told me about this morning."

Kayla nodded, but a voice in her head kept telling her it wasn't that simple.

Apparently, her expression must have revealed her thoughts because Bo asked, "It was that toxin Alamain was working on, right?"

Carly and Kayla exchanged a look and then Kayla shrugged. "It has to have been Lawrence. Nobody else would plan an attack like this. But the toxin doesn't match what we have learned about it."

"It was definitely Lawrence," Kim said. "When I was in the Spectator offices, I saw a man I recognized from Lawrence's villa. That's not just some crazy coincidence."

"Are you sure, Kimmie?" Kayla asked.

"Absolutely sure," Kim said.

"So this has to have been Lawrence's plan. . . ." Carly spoke as if deep in thought. "But it was a different toxin." She looked up at Bo and then at Kim and Kayla. "Why would he use a different, less lethal toxin?"

_It doesn't make any sense_, Kayla thought to herself. Out loud, she continued her thought. "Why would Lawrence use a toxin that wouldn't work? He had to have known that it would get the entire Salem police and fire departments at the scene and put them right on his trail."

"And if this isn't the real toxin, then what else is he planning?" Carly asked.

A sudden chill ran through Kayla. _That was it_. This whole thing was some kind of diversion. She looked around and again saw all of the police and fire department vehicles on the scene. She saw the empty boxes that once contained the antidote Carly had stockpiled. Before Kayla could finish her thought, Kim spoke.

"He's going to use the real toxin somewhere else," Kim said. Kayla looked at her sister and saw her own fear reflected in Kim's eyes. "While we're all focused on the attack here, he's going to attack somewhere else."

_And we've used up our antidote. _Kayla nodded and heard Bo uttered a muffled "damn" under his breath. Without a word, the four of them turned and began running to where Roman was standing with other police officers.

"Roman!" Kayla called as they neared him. "We need to talk to you."

Roman looked up as they approached. Stepping away from the other officers, he first pulled Kim into an embrace. "I'm so glad you're okay." He looked at Kayla and Carly, "Thanks to you two." Then he finally seemed to notice Bo and, with a knowing grin, said, "I guess police barricades couldn't keep you out, huh?"

Bo just shook his head. "You can yell at me about that later, but right now we need your help."

"That's right," Kim said. "We have to get to the refinery immediately."

Roman shook his head. "We've been over that already. I had officers search the site, and I went over the place myself. There's nothing there." He looked around. "Besides, if this was that toxin that Shane was talking about, it didn't work. Alamain's plan failed."

"It's not the real toxin, Roman," Kayla said quietly, but firmly.

Roman gave her a disbelieving look. "What are you talking about? How many poison gasses are out there and being released in Salem?"

"I don't have time to explain it all to you," Kayla said, this time more shaply. "But we know what Lawrence's toxin does and what it doesn't. Whatever this was, it didn't do the same things. This isn't the real toxin Lawrence was working on. It's some kind of diversion."

"She's right," Bo added. "And the only chance we have to find out what is really going on is finding Alamain's hideout. And I know it's in that refinery." He gave Roman a pointed look. "Steve and John both said so and Shane disappeared there. Alamain is in that refinery somewhere."

Kayla watched Roman, waiting for him to disagree or call Steve and John liars again. He seemed to scowl, but Kayla knew he was thinking. Finally, he let out a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, I believe you. If you say that's where he is, then we'll go check it out again."

Kim, Kayla, and Bo exchanged grins. It was easy to see they were all thinking the same thing - their big brother had finally come around.

"Let's go," Kim said, breaking up the moment. "We don't have any time to waste."

"Hold on," Roman replied. "I said Bo and I would go. I didn't say anything about the rest of you."

Kayla and Kim exchanged a quick glance. Kayla spoke first. "Look, Roman. . . . My husband is out there somewhere, looking for Shane – the man Kim loves and the father of her children. If you think we're going to sit here and do nothing, then you really don't know us anymore."

"Or you never did," Kim added.

Roman glanced at Bo, who just shrugged.

"We're wasting time, Roman," Kim said, with an edge in her voice. "Haven't we wasted enough time already?"

Kim's implied accusation seemed to get through and Roman's shoulders sagged slightly. Nodding, he said quietly, "All right, let's get to my car."

Kayla and Kim began walking with Roman. Behind her, Carly told Bo that she would go back to the hospital to prepare for any other attacks. Bo joined his siblings just as they reached Roman's car.

Roman and Bo got in the front seats as Kim and Kayla climbed in back. Kayla breathed a quiet sigh of relief and prayer. Their entire family was now fighting together. She just hoped it wasn't too late.


	513. Chapter 513

Steve stared down into Shane's glassy, unseeing eyes. "Come on, dude," Steve said. His fingers searched along Shane's neck for any sign of a pulse. Was there something there? Steve couldn't tell. If there was, it was so faint, he did not want to trust it.

_How long does this damn antidote take?_ he wondered as he looked for any sign of life. He was feeling better, but then he had been exposed for a lot shorter time than Shane. Not to mention-

"Please."

Steve jerked his head around to see Lawrence. He had managed to crawl out of the gas chamber when Steve had rushed out to get the antidote, but the effects of the toxin were still visible. Lawrence's body shuddered from the spasms and his word was barely audible.

"Please," Lawrence gasped. His eyelids were drooping, but Steve could see that he was looking at the vials of antidote on the ground in the chamber behind Steve.

Steve stared at the man in disbelief. He reached back, picked up one of the vials, held it up in the air, and stood up. He stepped toward Alamain. "You want this?" Steve asked, as he loomed over Lawrence. "You're going to sit there and beg for mercy, Alamain? After everything you did. After the hell you put my family through. You think I'm going to have mercy on you?"

The fury was rising in him. He thought of the months of torment in Lawrence's labs, how Kayla thought he was dead and how she wanted to die too. He thought of those missed nine months of Stephanie's life.

"If you think I'm going to waste one of these vials on you, Alamain, you're kidding yourself." Steve's jaw was clenched so tight he could feel his teeth grinding together. "This is justice, dude. You're going to die with your own poison running through your veins."

"No."

The sound was so faint that Steve wasn't sure if he could believe it. But then he heard it again.

"No."

Steve spun around.

Shane was still lying on his back, but his head was turned. His chest heaved, laboring as he tried to breathe.

"Shane!" He rushed back and dropped to his knees. Even in that moment, Steve could see the antidote working its magic. Shane's eyes seemed to open a little more and they focused on Steve.

"Lawrence," Shane said, his voice still faint. "Give . . . give it to him." His eyes turned to the antidote that Steve was still holding in his hand.

_No way. He's not getting away with this._ Steve shook his head.

Shane took a deep breath and grimaced. "Don't be like him." He spoke a little more strongly. "You're better than him. You beat him, Steve."

"After everything he's done, Shane. . . ." Steve could not even finish the sentence. _After everything._

But Shane pushed. "It's not mercy. Think about it. Look at him. . . . You won. You, the insignificant lab rat. . . . You want him to suffer? Make him spend the rest of his days knowing you beat him."

Steve started to shake his head, but he looked at Lawrence, who was shuddering on the ground. A whimpered "please" escaped Lawrence's lips. "Please," he begged again.

The vial felt heavy in Steve's hand as he stood up. In his head, he recited a list of Lawrence's crimes. He thought of Kayla that night she thought he had died, how she had told him about going to the roof and staring up at he stars and feeling totally alone. He thought of Stephanie losing those nine months with him. And there was the hell that Lawrence put Kim, Jennifer, Mrs. Horton, Jack, and all those people through.

_And you. _

"You put me through hell, Alamain," Steve growled. He stepped toward Lawrence, but it was only a single step. "All those times you fed me your poison, thinking maybe this time it would kill me. . . ."

Behind him, in a voice a little stronger than before, Shane spoke. "Steve, don't-"

"I'm doing what I have to, Donovan," Steve said, his eye fixed squarely on Lawrence's gasping, pain-filled face. "That's right, Larry." Steve took a few steps closer and now loomed over the prone man. "You thought you were going to kill us all, but look at you, dying from your own poison. For a guy who thinks so damn much of himself, that's about as stupid as it gets."

"Steve!"

Steve waved a dismissive hand in Shane's direction and crouched down next to Lawrence. He grinned, wondering how well Lawrence could even see him.

"You are one arrogant SOB, Alamain, but how does that saying go? Pride goeth before the fall and all that." Steve had to chuckle as he saw, even amidst the twitching muscles in Lawrence's face, a flinch. "Yeah, you heard me. . . . Donovan is right, though. Nothing would make you suffer more than living - and knowing that you owe your life to someone as insignificant as little ol' me, Steven Earl Johnson."

Lawrence let out a strangled sound. The words were unintelligible, but Steve knew it was some kind of protest.

"That's right," Steve continued. "I'm going to give you this antidote. I'm going to let you live. And then I'm going to go to the school and stop your man there. And every day, when you sit in that jail cell and think of how it all went wrong, you're gonna know. It's because you screwed up. It's because you decided you could destroy the life of someone you thought was insignificant. Only he wasn't - and he beat you. . . ." As Steve finished, he uncorked the vial. Holding it in his left hand, he reached out with his right and, not at all gently, clamped his thumb and index finger around Lawrence's lips forcing them into an "o" shape. Without hesitating, he poured the full contents of the vial down Lawrence's throat and shoved the man onto his back. "Who's insignificant now?" Steve asked.

From where he fell, Lawrence stared up at Steve while the antidote took effect. As the muscle tremors lessened and Lawrence strength returned. Steve saw the look of disbelief form in Lawrence's face before he finally managed to ask, "How?"

Steve laughed. "Oh, that's the best part, Alamain. You don't even realize it. You see, while you were testing your poison on this insignificant lab rat, I was building up an immunity to it. So you see, not only did you get beat by a guy who doesn't even make a blip on your radar, you're the one who made it all possible." Steve glanced over at the camera. "Since you're so into movies, let me put it like this. I'd call it one hell of a plot twist."


	514. Chapter 514

As Steve hovered over Lawrence, Shane could only watch and hope Steve did the right thing. Shane understood the desire for revenge, but he knew Steve would regret letting Lawrence die.

". . . For a guy who thinks so damn much of himself, that's about as stupid as it gets."

"Steve!" Shane called out. The attempt to shout strained the muscles that were still coming back to life after being painfully frozen by the toxin. He had managed to lift his upper body off the ground, but the effort at yelling sapped his strength and he fell back to the floor.

The room spun and it took a little while for Shane to recover. After a series of short, sharp breaths, he managed to get his breathing back under control. The room began to right itself and, after a few deeper breaths, Shane managed to look again at Steve and Lawrence. Now, Steve was crouched beside Lawrence. Shane heard Steve laugh, but could not hear what he was saying. Then Steve rose. He was holding an empty vial of the antidote in his hand.

"You remember that, Larry," Steve said. "You remember that when you think of me - or the next time you think anyone's life doesn't matter because they aren't the great Lawrence Alamain." Steve looked around for a moment, and then took a few steps away from Lawrence. He picked up the remote control device that Lawrence had been holding and then found Lawrence's gun on the ground. After sticking both in his jacket pocket, Steve walked back over to Shane and crouched down.

A slight frown crossed his face. "How you doing there, Donovan?"

Shane had to admit that he had been better, but the pain from the toxin had receded and his muscles were loosening up. He nodded his head and, with some effort, pulled himself to a semi-seated position, leaning against the side of the gas chamber. "I'm alive," Shane said. Then, hoping he sounded as grateful as he felt, he added, "Thanks to you."

Steve just shrugged.

Unable to stop himself, Shane asked, "What in blazes possessed you to drag Lawrence inside this thing?"

Steve shrugged again. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Good thing I'd developed an immunity to that stuff."

Something in Steve's voice told Shane the answer to his question, but he asked anyway. "You didn't know that, did you? I mean, about the immunity."

"Call me lucky, dude."

Shane laughed, a sort of hacking laugh that grew slightly louder as more of his muscles loosened. "Bloody hell, Steve. . . . You're never going to learn. Going off half-cocked like that." Steve started to respond, but Shane raised a hand. "And I'm damn thankful for it."

Steve had to chuckle. "I'll make a convert out of you yet, Donovan. Forget the damn rule book. You gotta make your own rules when it counts." He looked at Shane carefully in what obviously was an examination. Then, in a more serious tone, Steve asked, "Can you move? Alamain's goon's still out there. We're the only ones who know his plans."

Shane was confused. "But Lawrence. . . . The remote. . . ."

"You were probably too out of it to hear," Steve said. "After he gassed you. . . . His man has instructions. If Lawrence doesn't trigger the remote within the hour, he lets it go on his own."

_No_! Shane felt his heart freeze. After everything, they still had not stopped the toxin. Salem wasn't safe.

_Andrew is there_.

The realization that his son was in danger flooded Shane with adrenaline. "We've got to get over there," he said, staggering clumsily to his feet. His muscles did not fully cooperate though, and he stumbled, falling back to his knees. His legs stung, as if they had been asleep and were just coming awake.

"Dammit," Shane snapped. He flexed his hands and wrists. They too seemed heavy.

"Calm down," Steve said. Seeing Shane's frustration he added, "You got a much bigger dose of that stuff, so it's probably going to take you longer to get back to 100-percent. Not to mention you didn't spend weeks getting a daily dose of it." He helped Shane back to a seated position against the gas chamber, then reached for the boots he had removed earlier. As he pulled them on, Steve said, "You'd better just wait here."

Shane hated feeling so useless, but he reminded himself that he had already badly miscalculated his abilities. _That's why Steve had to save you in the first place_, he reminded himself. He looked up at Steve. "Do you think you can take out Marais on your own? Maybe call John-" Suddenly, it dawned on Shane that he had not wondered why Steve came alone. "John's okay, isn't he? Lawrence said he escaped-"

"He's okay," Steve said. "Took a bullet in the shoulder, but he's fine. As for me, I can take out that Marais dude. But just so you'll approve, I'll call the Salem PD and see if I can get some back-up. . . . Maybe with everything that's happened, Roman's finally figured out we're not the bad guys."

Steve stood up and looked around. Shane looked in the same direction and realized that Steve was looking for the gun he had tossed aside at Lawrence's command. It had slid across the floor and stopped a few feet from Shane. Steve walked over, picked it up, crouched back down, and handed it to Shane. "I have to get past the guy in the other room and anyone else Alamain has in here, so I can't drag him with me. Will you be able to handle Alamain 'til I get some cops down here?"

Shane took the M9. It felt oddly heavy and his right hand trembled a little as he took it.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

Not wanting to give Steve any reason to hesitate, Shane quickly nodded. He told himself Steve was right. He just needed a few more minutes to recover. He put his other hand on the gun and set it on his knee. "I'm fine. Like you said, I just got a bigger dose of the gas. It's probably just taking a little longer to work its way out of my system." He made a point of squeezing the grip of the gun and studiously ignored the tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that something was off. _Don't think about that. Steve has to save those kids._ Shane looked across the room toward the exit. "I can handle Lawrence. You need to go."

Steve seemed to hesitate, but then nodded. He patted Shane on the shoulder before he stood up. "Don't worry, dude. I've got this."


	515. Chapter 515

Steve took another look just before he left the room. Shane was still seated, his back against the plexiglass wall, both hands on the gun, which was resting on his knee. About 10 feet away, Lawrence remained on his side. He had not moved or said a word since Steve had revealed how he had built up an immunity to the toxin.

_Lawrence isn't going anywhere_, Steve told himself. _Shane has him_.

But Steve felt strangely uneasy as he started down the corridor. _Stop it_. _Shane has it under control. You need to keep your head in the game. There's still Ivan Marais to take care of._ Steve forced himself to focus on the hallway. He thought back to how he had entered. It had probably been less than an hour ago, but it seemed like forever since he had been escorted at gunpoint into Lawrence's hideout.

_Focus_.

This was no time to get lost in the underground bunker. There was a school full of little kids out there who needed Steve to escape. He took a deep breath and studied the corridor.

_This way. _

Cautiously, he made his way down the hall toward the room at the far end. That had to be the surveillance room he had come through from the outside. If Steve was right, the man who had reported on the Spectator attack had returned there to monitor the video fees from the refinery.

As much as he wanted to rush, he knew he had to be careful. He tried to figure out how much time has passed. Lawrence had said the toxin would be released in an hour, and that had probably been about 10 to 15 minutes earlier. That meant Steve still had time, and it was worth a few minutes to ensure he got out of the building without being captured.

Steve crept slowly to the room, keeping close to the walls so he could not be seen by anyone inside the room. His suspicion proved correct when he saw the man sitting at the control center. Steve started forward, but froze when he heard voices. The technician was talking with someone over a radio. Ducking out of sight, Steve listened, grimacing when he realized the voice on the other end was Ivan Marais.

_Dammit. _That was not something he had considered. If Marais was in contact with the refinery, any sign that something was wrong might cause him to release the toxin before the one-hour deadline. Steve couldn't take out the technician while he was talking with Marais.

And what if the technician realized Steve and Shane had stopped Lawrence? All he had to do is radio the information to Marais. Steve looked around the room at the different video screens, trying to see what they were showing from the interior of the bunker. To his surprise, he did not see anything. At first that made no sense; he knew there were cameras in the other room. Lawrence had made a big deal out of showing the video to his "buyers."

But then the answer came to him. Lawrence Alamain had no reason for cameras _inside_ his hideout to be monitored, because he was the type of arrogant SOB who would refuse to believe he would need them for security. Sure there was a camera in the other room, but its sole purpose was to record Lawrence's big speech and Shane's death. Steve felt pretty certain that the camera was not hooked up to the video network; it probably just had a videotape inside.

Chuckling at Lawrence's arrogant stupidity, Steve refocused on the technician. He was still talking to Marais. _Damn_, Steve thought. He remained in his hiding place as time seemed to move agonizingly slowly while the two men continued to chat.

Finally, Steve decided he could wait no longer. The clock was ticking and he had to act.

He crept silently toward the technician, who was so focused on whatever Marais was saying that he did not notice Steve approach. Over the man's shoulder, Steve caught sight of the controls and breathed a slight sigh of relief. When the technician spoke, he pushed a button to open his end of the channel. So as long as Marais was talking, he couldn't hear what was happening on the other end.

_Gotcha._

Steve jumped forward, his gun raised. Before the technician could react, the barrel of the gun was against his temple and Steve was jerking him away from the radio controls.

"Gonna sound the alarm?" Steve asked. "Not today, dude."

The man's eyes were wide. "How-"

"How did I get away from your boss?" With a chuckle, Steve grinned. "Not telling. You're just gonna have to be disappointed on that one. Now hands up." After the technician complied, Steve heard Marais' voice from the other end of the radio. He sounded concerned.

"Hans?" Marais asked.

Steve pressed the gun to the technician's head. "Tell him you were distracted." He thought quickly. "Then tell him Alamain needs help moving the bodies and you have to go."

The technician swallowed as Marais called his name again. The man was sweating profusely.

"I can shoot you right now," Steve said.

That got the technician moving. He reached for the radio and pushed the button to open the channel. "Sorry, sir," he said. "Master Alamain needs my assistance. . . ." He hesitated, but Steve prodded him with the gun. "Um . . . to move . . . uh . . . bodies."

Steve reached over and switched the channel closed. "Very good, dude." On the other end, Marais seemed to agree.

"This is a proud day for Alamainia, Hans. Go do your duty," Marais ordered. "Tell the Master that I await his command or I will act on his deadline - which is in . . . 25 minutes."

As the radio fell silent, Steve let out a breath of relief before he told the technician, "Very good, Hans."

The man looked down at the radio and Steve could detect some indecision.

"Don't even think about it," Steve warned. "Not unless you want your blood to be decorating this nice console." The man stiffened, telling Steve he was not going to try to activate the radio, but Steve was not going to take any chances. He pulled the technician away from the radio. "Sorry you won't be doing your duty today. But it's okay. Ol' Larry's not going to be docking your pay for this. But then again, he won't be making payroll this month." Steve motioned toward the stairs. "Now why don't you push whatever button you have to push to open up the trap door and then we can go take a ride?"

The man swallowed tightly.

"Now!" Steve ordered. He tightened his finger on the trigger. "I've had one hell of a day already and if I have to shoot you and start pushing every button on your console, I'll do it."

That worked. The technician reached down and pushed a button. Above them, a motor started to whirr and the ceiling began to slide away. "Now come with me," Steve told the technician. "I'm sure the Salem PD will have a lot of questions for you about exactly what you've been up to down here." He pressed the barrel of the gun into the man's back and put a hand on his shoulder.

The man hesitated at the stairs, but Steve prodded him forward. "Go!" he ordered. During the climb, Steve tried to figure out his next steps. He would have to convince the cops that there was another target, that the Spectator really was just a decoy. Would they believe him? Or would it be a repeat of the day before? And he needed a car. Shane's car was shot from being driven off the pier and over icy refinery grounds. Steve had lost track of time. How much time had he lost while the technician talked to Ivan Marais? Steve had no idea.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Steve impatiently shoved the other man toward the door and forced it open. Dragging the technician with him, Steve stepped into the cold and the light.

The refinery site was quiet. Steve looked toward the entrance, but saw no sign of the police that had been there earlier. That was a problem. He looked over at Shane's car, its flat tires and misshapen wheels confirming his fear.

_Its better than nothing_, he told himself, as he pushed the technician forward.

Then he remembered Shane's car had a phone. Of course, he could call the police. At this point, after the Spectator attack, someone would have to believe him. As they reached the car, Steve felt some hope.

That hope was quickly dashed when he opened the door. Where the phone had been installed, all that remained were a bunch of loose wires sticking out of the console. The same was true of the ignition and gear shift. Someone had ripped them free.

Even if the wheels could still work, the car was going nowhere.

Steve felt helpless. He looked at his prisoner, at the ruined car, and then at the empty refinery site.

Time was running out. There was a school full of kids and only Steve knew they were in danger.

And Steve had no idea how he was going to save them.


	516. Chapter 516

Shane watched Steve leave. Taking a deep breath, he looked over at Lawrence, who had sat up and was scowling in the direction Steve had gone. It made Shane chuckle.

"You're finished, Alamain," Shane said.

Lawrence turned his head. "You act so certain, but you don't know. Ivan is already at the school by now. Johnson may not find him. Johnson may not even find his way out of this complex."

"After all this, you would still underestimate Steve." Shane rolled his eyes. "Is that because you just don't want to believe - or is it because it truly is impossible for you to accept that who you are and how you live your life is more important than who your parents were? Accept it. Steve Johnson beat you."

Lawrence looked away. Sounding like a bitter child, he muttered, "Johnson didn't beat me. I beat myself." With a sneer, he turned back to Shane. "The only reason I am here is because I miscalculated. It is because of me that Johnson had an immunity to the toxin."

Shane felt a stab of pain in his hand. He started to grimace, but he forced himself from showing it.

"Johnson was my creation," Lawrence continued. "If not for-"

Shane cut him off. "You're a fool if you believe it. Rationalize it all you want. Steve beat you."

In response, Lawrence chuckled. "Let's just say that I agree. If Johnson beat me that means you owe your life to him. Come on, Donovan, don't tell me that the thought doesn't bother you - being beholden to a man like Johnson."

Lawrence truly did not understand, but then, Shane reminded himself, Lawrence was a sociopath.

"It won't bother me in the slightest," Shane said. That was funny. His tongue felt heavy again. He swallowed a few times, but the odd sensation in his mouth continued. Ignoring it, Shane stared at Lawrence. "You seem under the mistaken delusion that we are alike."

"Oh, but we are, Captain," Lawrence replied. "You may try to pretend otherwise, but we are very much alike. Your background wasn't that different than mine; you were born to power. And you might claim you are content to live a quiet life in this backwater town, but we both know otherwise. You are an ambitious man. You could have been the head of the ISA."

Shane felt some more pain in his hand. His heart was beginning to beat a little faster, a little anxious. But he forced himself to show nothing. "Even if you were right, none of that really matters now, does it?"

Lawrence laughed. "Too true. . . . It is ironic, isn't it? Your little ISA raid destroys my Egyptian facility, delays the development of the toxin, and even gives you the apparent key to stopping me by rescuing Johnson." Lawrence's eyes narrowed. "And in ensuring that seeming victory, you not only destroyed your once-so-illustrious career, but branded yourself a traitor."

Something sharp seemed to jab into Shane's foot, cutting off the sound of Lawrence's rant. _What's going on_? Shane asked himself. He refused to answer the question. Instead, he focused Lawrence's mouth, which was still moving. Lawrence was saying he would still win. At least that was what Shane thought he said. Everything went blurry all of a sudden.

Lawrence was laughing again. "You must appreciate the irony of how your loyalty was rewarded. . . ."

_The toxin's not gone._

The answer came to Shane without him asking the question again. These were the same symptoms as before. The odd sensation in his mouth, the blurred vision, the spasms.

Shane's right hand wrapped around the gun that was balancing on his knee. He squeezed his fingers closed and started to raise the gun. It barely moved. Shane's arm felt like a heavy weight was dangling from his wrist.

He tried think. In the gas chamber were a few vials of the antidote that Steve had dropped. They were out of Shane's immediate reach though, and if he moved awkwardly to get them, it would tip Lawrence off that Shane was still feeling the effects of the toxin.

He still had control of the situation. Lawrence had no reason to suspect anything was wrong. With a forced expression that pretended like everything was fine, Shane squinted at Lawrence. The man was still talking, seemingly oblivious to Shane's condition.

"I'm sure that is what you devoted your life for. Isn't it, Captain?"

Shane made a point of not responding. If he spoke again, he might slur his words and that would raise a red flag that Shane was in trouble. As it was, Shane did not know how long he could hide the symptoms of the toxin.

_Every minute counts_, he told himself. Steve needed time to get to the school and stop Ivan Marais. And Steve would need time to alert the Salem PD to the location of Lawrence's hideout. At this point, Shane did not even know if Steve had made it out of the hideout.

_Trust Steve. He knows how important it is to get to the school._

Shane had to keep Lawrence focused. _Keep him here_, Shane thought. He had to do everything possible to keep Lawrence there, so he would not evade the Salem PD when they arrived. Not to mention Lawrence might have other ways of contacting Ivan Marais. Shane had to make sure Lawrence stayed in this room, no matter how much the toxin might hurt or how weak Shane felt.

"So you are going to say nothing at all," Lawrence said in a mocking tone. "That must be because you know I'm right. It truly is a waste. A man with your talents could have accomplished a great deal without the strictures of the ISA."

Shane tried to drown out Lawrence and focus on the opposite side of the room, at the doorway. How much longer did he have to hold out before someone would arrive? As he watched, his field of vision seemed to grow smaller and the room grew cloudy.

_It has to be soon_, he thought. _Soon somebody will show up_.

_But soon enough_? The treacherous thought popped into his head. Shane tried to shunt it aside, but even as he did, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lawrence sit up a bit.

"Is there a problem, Captain?" Lawrence asked.

Shane forced his neck muscles to shake his head. He did not say a word. Trying to speak would tell Lawrence everything.

As it was, Lawrence had stood up and his mouth curled into a small grin. "How fascinating," he said. "Perhaps the antidote was not as effective as we thought. I'll have to ask the doctor about that." He flexed his hands. "Not that it seems to have had any problem for me."

Shane tried to turn the gun. As he did, his knee shuddered. The gun slipped. He tried to maintain a grip with his hand, but the arm was too weak and the gun fell to the floor. It skidded to his left.

Lawrence pounced. Shane tried to get the gun, but his muscles did not react right and he lost his balance. He sprawled after the gun, but his arm fell a few inches short. Lawrence reached the gun first and kicked it away from Shane's hand. Seeing that Shane could not scramble for the gun, Lawrence chuckled. Slowly, he walked over to the gun and picked it up. With a smirk, he turned back to where Shane was lying.

"This. . . ." Lawrence said, turning the gun in his hand. "This, it would seem, changes everything."


	517. Chapter 517

Kim willed the car to go faster as Roman steered it through the Salem streets toward the refinery. Bo was talking to Roman in the front seat, but Kim could not concentrate on their words. She looked over at Kayla, whose eyes were fixed firmly on the road in front of the car. Kim wondered if her sister was having the same dark thoughts that were running through Kim's mind.

If the Spectator wasn't Lawrence's target, what was? Where would he strike next? Kim tried to think of places Lawrence might attack; the Spectator made sense because of his history with Jack and Jennifer. Roman had ordered security beefed up at the Salem PD, the courthouse, and the prison, thinking Lawrence might seek revenge on the people who had sent him to prison.

But were those his only targets? The man hated so many people that she wondered if his twisted brain would limit his targets to such obvious ones.

And that was not the only dark thought in her head..

Now that Lawrence had begun his attack, Kim doubted he would stay in the city. That meant he probably already was making his escape.

She had to ask herself what that mean for Shane. He had been missing for an entire day. Kim knew how Lawrence's mind worked well enough to suspect that taking Shane as a long-term prisoner probably was not part of Lawrence's plan. Lawrence had loosed Cal Winters on her and Shane already, so she had no doubts that Lawrence cared little if Shane lived or not. So if Lawrence was fleeing Salem, what had he done to Shane?

_He's alive_, Kim told herself. _Shane is alive. I would know if he was. . . ._

She could not finish the thought, so she took a deep breath and forced herself to look out the window. They were approaching the refinery.

"They have to be okay," Kayla said, her voice low. Kim did not know if her sister was making a statement or trying to convince herself that what she was saying was true. Still, Kayla sounded certain and it gave Kim strength. Grateful, she reached her hand for her sister's and gave it a squeeze.

Kim could see the refinery gates as the car came to a stop. Bo jumped out, hurriedly opened them, and jumped back inside just as Roman hit the gas.

Suddenly, Kim grew worried. Roman had a gun, but Bo didn't. What if Lawrence had guards? She had seen the armed guards at his villa in Alamainia and John had been shot.

"You stay in the car until I tell you it's safe," Roman ordered from the front seat. He gave Bo a quick glance. "That goes for you too, little brother."

The car headed straight for some trailers. Next to them, Kim saw a familiar vehicle.

"That's Shane's car," she said. "How-"

Kayla cut off her question before it was asked. "Steve must have taken it. He probably figured the police were keeping tabs on his car."

"Smart thinking," Roman muttered.

"Steve!"

Kayla's shout caught Kim by surprise. She glanced at her sister, who was pointing at Shane's car. Next to it, Kim saw two figures - Steve and a man she did not recognize. As they got closer, she saw that Steve had a gun in his hand and was holding it over the other man as if he was a prisoner.

Roman shook his head. "I'll be damned. . . ." He drove forward and brought the car to a stop twenty feet away from Steve and the other man. "You heard me before. Stay- Damn it, Kayla!"

But Kayla had ignored the order and was already out of the car. She ran toward Steve. Kim followed, ignoring Roman's shouts from behind her.

Reaching her husband, Kayla wrapped her arms around Steve. "I was so worried," she said. "Are-"

"I'm fine," Steve said. He saw Kim and quickly added, "Shane is too. He's inside. We both got hit by the toxin but found the antidote. Shane's got a gun on Lawrence, but he sent me ahead because I got hit with less of the toxin." Steve shoved his prisoner toward Roman. "This one's all yours, but the more important one is Ivan Marais. He's at Salem Elementary and is going to release the toxin there in a few minutes."

_Salem Elementary_. Kim's breath caught in her throat as her worst fears were confirmed. The momentary relief she felt at the news about Shane was quickly replaced with dread.

"Andrew's there," Kim said.

"And the twins," Roman added as he grabbed the prisoner and pulled him to the car. Over his shoulder, he called out, "We've got to get to that school."

Kim knew he was right, but she also knew that Shane was still inside with Lawrence. "What about Shane?" Kim demanded. "He's alone in there."

Roman shoved the prisoner in the car. "We can't worry about him," he said. "Shane's got Lawrence prisoner and he's trained ISA. He'll be fine. Right now, we've got to stop the attack on the school and I don't even know what this Ivan guy looks like."

_I do_, Kim thought. She had seen Ivan Marais in Alamainia. She started to move to the car.

"Wait," Kayla said. Kim turned around toward Kayla

"Sis, we don't have time to wait," Roman snapped.

Kayla shook her head and grabbed Steve's arm. She sounded worried as she said, "The toxin we saw on video can cause a relapse after the antidote is administered. We may need more antidote. How long were you exposed?"

"I didn't get that much, plus I had-" Steve stopped short. "Oh no. . . . Shane got it for much longer. At least 10 minutes." He pushed some hair that had fallen in front of his face away with a hand. "The antidote worked, but when I left, I thought something was wrong. . . . He didn't say anything. . . ."

_No, he wouldn't_, Kim thought. _Not if he wanted Steve to leave._

Kayla took Steve's arm, "We need to get to Shane now. If he's had a relapse . . ."

_If he's had a relapse . . . . He's in there alone with Lawrence._

Kim felt torn in two. Shane was in trouble. She suddenly became aware of the icy cold, and she knew it was not just due to the winter weather. But Andrew was in danger too.

_Our son is in danger._

"Come on," Roman yelled. "Shane would want to protect those kids. He wouldn't want us to do nothing."

Kim knew he was right. Shane would give his life a hundred times over to protect Andrew.

Steve looked at Bo. "You go with Roman. I . . . I owe this to Shane."

"But I don't know what the guy looks like either," Bo said.

"I do." This time, Kim said it out loud. She knew she had made her choice. It's what Shane would have wanted. "I'll go with Roman. Andrew's at that school." She looked at the car, where Roman was standing. She could barely believe how calm she sounded. Inside, calm was the very last thing she felt. She took another breath and looked back at Bo and Steve. "Please help him."

Bo glanced at Steve, who nodded. He grabbed Bo's arm and pulled him toward the trailer. To Roman, he said, "Get some backup out here."

Roman nodded. "And I'll get units to the school too."

Kim looked at Kayla, who also seemed torn. "Go with them," Kim urged. "If Shane's been hurt or in trouble. . . ." She could not finish the thought aloud. _If he's in trouble, he'll need Kayla._

"Come on, Sis," Roman called and she turned toward him. "Let's go," he said. "We have to get to the school now!"

Kim ignored the wet tears on her cheeks. She knew Shane would want her to go. He would do anything for Andrew. But the thought that he was so close and probably hurt - and she was leaving him. . . .

Shivering in the cold, Kim followed Roman to the car. He had already cuffed the prisoner's wrist to the inside of one of the back doors, so Kim got into the front seat. As Roman put the car in gear and punched the car in reverse, Kim saw Steve, Kayla, and Bo enter one of the trailers.

She wished she could be with them, but she had to leave to save their son and all those other children. That was what Shane would want. Roman was right about that.

As the car roared across the icy ground toward the open gates, Roman began barking orders into his police radio. Kim ignored him. Instead, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the small, cameo broach. She took a deep breath and held it up to her lips.

_"Just hold onto that. As long as you have it, nothing will keep us apart."_

Shane's words from the day before echoed in her ears. "I am holding it," she whispered. "You hear that, Shane. I'm holding onto this, so you had better keep fighting. They're coming to help you, so just hold on."


	518. Chapter 518

It had taken Lawrence a few minutes to realize something was happening to Shane. Lawrence had been trying to ignore the pain in his broken wrist while ignoring Shane's jibes, so he had not recognized the signs at first. Shane seemed to have recovered from the toxin just like Lawrence and Steve. But after Steve left, the signs began to appear. At first, it was the way he squinted. Then he blinked and his eyes did not reopen all the way. When Shane did not respond to Lawrence's question, but only managed to awkwardly shake his head, Lawrence knew the toxin was still having an effect on Shane.

Shane must have known he was in trouble. He tried to raise his gun, but it dropped harmlessly to the ground. Lawrence kicked it away as Shane fell to his side.

For a moment, Lawrence stared down at his adversary, who was sprawled helplessly on the ground. Then, chuckling to himself, the momentary triumph suppressing any pain, he walked over to the gun and picked it off the floor. It felt heavy in his uninjured hand, the weight unusual for Lawrence. Usually, he left things like shooting to the Alamainia guards. Still, Lawrence turned the gun over in his hand and smiled.

_This really does change everything_.

He turned back to Shane, who remained where he had fallen. His eyes were half-closed and he was breathing fast.

"This. . . ." Lawrence said. "This, it would seem, changes everything."

"It . . . It changes nothing," Shane gasped. His words were slightly slurred, but Lawrence could make them out. A tremor ran through Shane's shoulder. His eyes closed and he seemed to grit his teeth in response.

Lawrence chuckled. "Still defiant, are we? And it looks so painful." He paused, remembering the jarring muscle spasms that had felt like fire tearing through his body. "Why am I talking about how it looks? We both know what you are feeling now, Captain. It really is too bad that Mr. Johnson isn't here to bail you out this time. How ironic. While he is off trying to stop Ivan from releasing the toxin at the school, you'll be dying. It's almost like he revisited my earlier options, but this time he's stuck with the ones I gave him."

Shane started to respond, but his words were cut off as he reacted to another spasm. Again, Shane's jaw clenched tight in an attempt to ward off the pain.

"Quite painful," Lawrence said with a chuckle.

Lawrence fell silent as he watched Shane shudder. Lawrence knew he needed to leave soon. If Johnson had escaped the compound, it was likely that he would call the police.

_But not before I see Donovan die._

He told himself it wasn't just that he wanted his revenge. He also needed the video recording that showed Shane take his last breath. As Shane shook from another tremor, Lawrence told himself the end would come soon.

Soon the spasms would stop and he would stop moving altogether as the toxin ate away at the nervous system. First, the voluntary muscles would stop responding. Then, the entire system would shut down.

_Soon._

He waited, but nothing seemed to change. The spasms continued to rack Shane's body, yet continued unabated. Lawrence began to feel a familiar frustration.

_Why isn't he dying_? Lawrence asked himself. He glanced at his watch and saw that time had passed. It had to be more than five minutes since he had detected the effects on Shane.

After a few more minutes of waiting impatiently, the tremors finally seemed to slow. Shane, his eyes barely opened, lay virtually motionless on his side. He stayed there, gasping for breath.

Yet even that seemed wrong to Lawrence. By this time, Shane's body should have been failing. The way his chest rose and fell with each gasp was not how the toxin was supposed to work.

And Shane definitely should not have been able to laugh.

But he did. From the ground, Lawrence heard the sound of weak laughter. Then, somehow, Shane turned his head and forced his eyes open a little so he was staring up at Lawrence.

"Still think your buyers will be impressed?" Shane said, his words barely audible, but the mocking tone quite clear.

Lawrence scowled. "This isn't how it's supposed to work," he snapped, his anger rising. "You're supposed-"

"To die," Shane said. "I heard that already." He seemed to laugh again, but the weak sounds came out in a bit of a choking cough. "Sorry to disappoint you. . . ." He finished out of breath and appeared to struggle to get air.

_Maybe it's working now_. Lawrence watched hopefully. He glanced at his watch again. More than ten minutes had passed.

But the insufferable man seemed to recover. Shane swallowed and gave Lawrence a look approximating a smile. "After all this time, you still can't even kill one man, not even one who isn't in top shape." Shane shook his head.

Silently, Lawrence screamed in frustration. _He shouldn't be able to do that_.

"You're finished," Shane said. "When you're so-called buyers see this, they won't go near your toxin. If-" He broke off with a pained grimace, then looked back up. "If you can't kill one man close up, it won't matter what happens anywhere else."

"Be quiet," Lawrence growled. "You're supposed to be dead." _Not talking. Not mocking me._

But Shane would not stay silent. Still mocking, he said, "Leopold must be proud. This is what you planned. All this time. . . ." His words trailed off again.

"Stop it!" Lawrence yelled. _This can't be happening. _He paced back and forth, watching Shane, waiting for the next stage to take effect. Time ticked away. Lawrence knew he had to escape, but he couldn't leave. Not while his enemy was breathing. His anger rising, Lawrence snapped, "Why won't you die?"

Shane laughed. "You've failed, Lawrence. Just admit it."

_Never. I can't fail. I'm an Alamain._

"You're a failure," Shane said, his voice seeming to grow even stronger.

Lawrence flushed, a combination of embarrassment and fury. "You're wrong," he snarled.

He was physically shaking from the sheer force of the anger within him. Something hit his leg and it dawned on him that he was still holding the gun. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths and steadied himself. Then he raised the gun and pointed it at Shane.

"If nothing else, Donovan, I can still kill you."


	519. Chapter 519

Kayla followed Steve and Bo down a staircase. She marveled at the way the entire floor had disappeared.

"This is why the cops didn't find anything," Bo muttered. Steve nodded.

"Look, we have to move fast, but we also need to be careful," Steve said. "I don't think there's anyone else down here, but I don't know for sure."

He led them into a dark room filled with computer and video equipment. Bo whistled as he took in the monitors that showed the refinery. "Wow," he said.

"Hey," Steve said, a bit abruptly. "You can play tech geek later. Right now, we've got a job to do." He motioned to a doorway on the other side of the room. "Shane's down this way."

There was a light ahead that she could tell was coming from a larger room. She heard someone shout - a voice that sent chills down her spine.

"Stop it!" Lawrence yelled.

Bo and Steve exchanged looks. Kayla understood their confusion.

"Why won't you die?" Lawrence cried.

Kayla felt both relief and fear. The relief was that Lawrence must be talking to Shane, which meant he was still alive. The worry was that it sounded like Lawrence had control, which meant the toxin must be affecting Shane.

"Hurry," she said in an urgent whisper.

They neared the door as Lawrence told Shane he was wrong. Steve raised his left hand and held a finger to his lips. In his right hand, he raised the gun. He peeked through the doorway, but Kayla could not see past him and Bo into the room. But she could still hear Lawrence.

"If nothing else, Donovan, I can still kill you."

_No!_

Steve rushed forward, allowing Kayla to see inside, and yelled something. Across the room, Lawrence had a gun aimed at Shane. At Steve's yell, Lawrence spun toward the door.

"Get down!" Bo yelled. He pushed Kayla to the ground.

In the underground bunker, the gunshots were almost deafening. Kayla could not make out how many shots there were, but she heard bullets strike the wall above her.

And then there was silence.

Kayla grimaced under Bo's weight. She looked up and saw that he was looking down at her with concern in his eyes.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Other than you on top of me?" Kayla asked. Bo flushed and pulled away from her. As he did, Kayla tried to assess her condition. She didn't feel any pain, which meant she probably was okay. Bo was still watching her, so she nodded. "I'm okay. You?"

"Fine," Bo said, sounding relieved. He sat up and turned. "Oh!"

Kayla knew by his tone that something was wrong. She looked up into the room.

_God, no_! she screamed silently.

Steve was slumped against the wall where he had fallen. His head lolled to the side and his left arm hung limply. She could see blood pooling beneath his arm.

"Steve!" she shrieked. She jumped to her feet and raced toward him. She heard Bo behind her, but her focus was entirely on Steve.

_He has to be okay_, she begged. He had just come home. They had a baby on the way. _Please_, she prayed silently. _Please let him be okay._


	520. Chapter 520

Shane had watched Lawrence raise the pistol and aim it. Somewhere, deep inside, where he was no longer feeling any pain, Shane had realized that it was over.

He had been doing everything to make sure Lawrence stayed in the room. Shane remembered how he had mocked Lawrence, trying to keep the man enraged and determined to watch Shane die. He had found his voice and kept twisting the knife, even though he had desperately wanted to give in to the pain that had seared his body. But Shane had told himself that he needed to keep Lawrence there.

Lawrence Alamain was not going to escape, even if Shane had no real power to stop him.

Shane's tactic had worked. Lawrence had refused to leave until he saw the toxin finish its job. Only it never did.

His mind slowly replayed what had happened. Lawrence had just been about to pull the trigger when there was shouting. Shane recalled how Lawrence had spun and he remembered hearing shots.

Lawrence had crumpled to the ground.

Shane heard the shout again. This time, he recognized the voice. Steve.

_But wait. . . . If Steve had shouted, why don't I hear or see him_?

He tried to dismiss the thought, but it was there. Shane could only see Lawrence's body, but he knew Steve must have been the one who fired that shot. That meant Steve must be by the door, which was out of Shane's view.

Shane barely had any strength left. Fighting through the pain to keep Lawrence off balance had left him completely drained. But somewhere, he found the strength to force his unresponsive muscles to fire. Agonizingly slowly, he shifted on the ground so he could see the other side of the room.

_Is that Kayla_? _And Bo_?

That made no sense. _How can they be here_? But they were. It wasKayla and Bo.

Then Shane saw that they were both crouched next to another person. Shane could not see the person's face, but he could see the telltale leather jacket. And he could see red blood pooling on the concrete floor.

_Steve_!

He had no idea if he managed to say the name aloud, but he heard it echo in his head. He silently screamed, _This can't be happening. Not after everything. . . ._

Not after everything they had gone through.

Shane's mind flooded with memories of the past few months. Egypt and pulling a bedraggled Steve out of a tiny closet even as gunshots and explosions echoed outside. Steve's mocking quips in Cyprus turned into fury as he charged Shane in the entryway of Donovan Manor. And then they were back in Salem and Shane was thanking Steve for saving Kim from a speeding car. He watched Steve on a video camera as the man stumbled around Lawrence Alamain's estate then argued with him in an ISA interrogation room, in a hallway during Jeannie's birthday party, and then in the living room of the Salem house, which ended with Shane punching Steve. Then Shane was on the receiving end of a punch from Steve.

It all kept replaying in Shane's mind.

Then they had reached was an understanding of sorts. Shane saw Steve on the bank of the lake after the arrest and remembered how Shane had decided there was no more room for anger. They fought side by side on the docks. Then they ran through a dark night toward the shattered pieces of Kim's car and through a forest where branches cut at his face, but barely registered amid the fear that ran through him. Steve raced to a motionless Andrew. And then they were at Shane's house and he could see Steve's anxious terror as he worried about Kayla, only for them to share Jeannie's first steps.

_We've been through so much_, Shane thought.

There was so much more. The bar where they shook down the man who knew where Cal was. _Bob_. The name of the man oddly popped into Shane's head. And then Steve was kneeling on the ground, Cal holding a gun over him.

_No_, Shane thought. _It's just like that. Only the roles reversed this time. _

"Steve," Shane managed to call out, finally finding the strength. "Dammit, Steve, don't you bloody give up. You hear me. Don't you dare give up."


	521. Chapter 521

Steve heard Kayla shout his name and wondered why.

Then he felt the pain.

His shoulder burned with a searing fire. He tried to move his left arm, but it did not respond. Steve looked down and saw the blood.

Kayla was beside him now. He tried not to moan in pain when she began tearing his jacket away, but he could not stop the sharp cry that escaped his lips when she pressed down on his shoulder.

Over her shoulder, across the room, Steve saw Lawrence Alamain's body where the dead man had fallen. Steve did not need anyone to tell him that Lawrence was dead. Steve had seen his bullet strike true. In the instant before Lawrence's bullet had slammed into Steve's shoulder, he had watched Lawrence's head snap back, replaced by a shower of crimson.

"You hang on," Kayla said. She was making no attempt to hide her fear. "Don't you dare leave me."

Hovering over her was Bo. "Come on, pal," Bo urged.

Through the pain, Steve had to laugh. "You ain't gettin' rid of me so easily." He grinned. "Stephanie and her baby brother are gonna need their Papa around."

He could hear Kayla crying, even as she tried to stop the bleeding. Behind her, Bo took a deep breath. Steve started to make a joke, but he hissed as fiery pain flared down his arm as she pressed down on the wound. He might have thought it revenge, but her tears were now paired with a relieved smile.

Steve raised his good arm. With his right hand, he touched her cheek and brushed away some of the tears.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, Sweetness," Steve said. "It'll take a hell of a lot more than Lawrence Alamain to take out your ol' one-eyed tomcat."

Kayla's entire body sagged, even as her tears continued to flow.

"Don't you ever scare me like that, Steven Earl Johnson," she said.

_I don't ever want to scare you like this_, he thought. "I'll do my best, Sweetness." At her glare, he changed his answer. "I promise."

Her response were interrupted by a slurred shout. Steve thought it sounded like someone calling his name.

"Dammit, Steve, don't you bloody give up. You hear me. Don't you dare give up."

Even slurred, the accent was unmistakable.

"Would one of you tell Double-0-Donovan that he's not getting rid of me either?" Steve growled, even as Bo disappeared from view. Then it hit Steve. _Shane_. _The toxin_. In his pain, Steve had almost forgotten. He gritted his teeth and looked over Kayla's shoulder again. He could see that Shane lay still next to the opening of the gas chamber. Bo was hovering over him, but seemed unsure of what to do. Steve looked back at Kayla. "Help him," he said.

Kayla looked toward Shane and then seemed to hesitate. Steve could tell she was reluctant to leave him.

"I'll be okay," Steve said. He groaned again at the pressure she was putting on the wound, but managed to say, "Shane needs you. . . ."

Kayla gave a grim nod. "Where did you find the antidote?"

Steve remembered it had been in a drawer, but he did not remember exactly where.

Bo reappeared behind Kayla. "Kay," he said. "I don't know what to do for Shane. . . ."

Steve suddenly remembered something. "I dropped some. . . . There should be some inside that. . . ." He didn't want to say gas chamber. "That big thing by Shane. The vials with the blue label." Prodding her, Steve added, "I'm gonna be okay. You can go. Help Shane."

Bo put a hand on Kayla's shoulder and reached for what she was using to stanch the blood. "I'll do that. He'll be okay." Bo took the cloth from her hand and shoved it even harder against Steve's wound.

"Damn it, Bo!" Steve yelped.

Bo laughed and looked at Kayla. "See? He's going to be fine."

"And in a hell of a lot of pain," Steve muttered as Kayla finally pulled away. Through gasping breaths, he asked Bo, "Shane?"

"I don't know," Bo said honestly. "He's conscious, but he isn't moving much." He glanced back over his shoulder toward Kayla. Steve followed Bo's gaze and saw her picking something off the ground.

"Looks like Kay found that antidote," Bo said. They watched as Kayla tilted Shane's head and emptied the vial down his throat.

Steve called out, "Sweetness?" He tried to say more, but the slight movement from the shout made him hiss.

It was enough. Kayla called back. "I think it's working." Even with the pain, Steve felt relief. No one was going to die today.

_Except the bad guy._

As if reading Steve's mind, Bo chose that moment to speak. "Alamain's over there." He was looking at Lawrence's body.

"He's dead," Steve said. "I know. That bastard won't ever hurt anyone ever again."

Bo nodded. "I hope so. Let's just pray Roman and Kim got to that school in time."


	522. Chapter 522

"Where is Marais releasing the toxin?" Roman snarled as the car sped down the Salem street, away from the refinery. He glanced over his shoulder at the prisoner in the back seat. "Where? The air conditioning unit? Inside the school?"

The man in the back seat shook his head. "I don't know. I only monitor the radio and cameras."

"But you knew what Lawrence was planning, didn't you?" Kim asked. She had turned in her seat and was staring at the man. She did not recognize him from Alamainia, but he spoke with enough of an accent that she was sure he was hand-picked by Lawrence. "Even if he knows, he won't tell us," she said to Roman. "He's too loyal."

Roman snorted. "Loyalty will get him strapped down with a needle in his arm." His radio squawked and he picked it up. "Abe, buddy, you getting close?" Roman had already radioed Abe with instructions to send some units to the school. "Tell them to keep their distance. We don't want to spook this Marais guy."

On the other end, Abe said the units were nearby, but he wasn't sending in any uniforms.

"Good," Roman said. "ETA is five minutes." He returned the radio to the console and looked at Kim. "What does this Marais guy look like?"

Kim was prepared for the question. "He's blond." She tried to describe Ivan Marais as best she could, but pointed out that it had been months since she had seen him at Lawrence's villa. "What if that's not enough?" she asked. "Our kids are in that school."

Roman reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It'll be enough," he said. "We'll find him and stop him. No one is going to hurt those children."

There was something in the way Roman said those words that took away Kim's doubt. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she truly had her older brother back, not just the man who looked like Roman but refused to trust her and the rest of the family.

Roman must have sensed that things were different too. "I . . . I'm sorry, Kimmie," he said. "I've been a real horse's ass to you and to Kayla. . . and to Shane and Steve too. You all were trying to tell me the truth and I was just too pig-headed to believe you."

Kim had to smile a little. "A horse's ass with a pig's head. . . . That's quite the picture, big brother."

"I'm going to make it up to you," Roman said, looking a bit sheepish. "All of you. First, we're going to stop this Marais guy, and, then, I'm going to do whatever I can to help clear Shane's name."

Kim nodded. "If we stop the toxin, that shouldn't be necessary, Roman." At Roman's surprised look, she explained, "This was Shane's plan. If he could stop Lawrence, he would make the ISA admit he was still working for them. He said they couldn't admit that he managed to stop Lawrence's toxin when the ISA couldn't."

Roman seemed to think and then nodded approvingly. "He definitely knows how the ISA works. They wouldn't take that kind of PR hit." Then Roman scowled. "It's still a damn crazy risk for a man with a wife and kids at home."

"Like my big brother never chased Stefano DiMera after the twins were born?" Kim said evenly.

Roman sighed. "Okay, you got me there."

They both fell silent as they turned down the road to the school.

"I'm going to slow down," Roman said. "Just in case Marais is watching. We don't want-"

"To spook him." Kim finished his sentence. "You said that to Abe already."

Roman frowned, a sign Kim recognized that he was deep in thought. He picked up the radio and asked Abe, "So what do we got?"

On the other end, Abe reported that the surveillance had seen no sign of Marais.

"Okay. Meet us by the front door." Roman set down the radio. "Marais must be inside. So what we're going to do is go inside - you, me, and Abe. Abe knows Marais so he can take one side. We'll take the other."

Kim nodded and thought of something. "At the Spectator, the man was hooking up a tank to some type of vent. He had it in a backpack."

Roman picked up the radio again. "Abe, be on the lookout for Marais to have a backpack or duffel. The toxin is probably in some kind of tank." He looked at Kim. "Like an oxygen tank?" When Kim nodded, Roman passed that information on to Abe.

He turned the car into the school driveway and pulled to a stop in front of the building. Kim saw Abe get out of a sedan parked a little down the street and, without making eye contact with them, headed to the entrance.

Roman touched Kim's hand again and gave her what she suspected was supposed to be a reassuring look. But she could tell that he was as afraid as she was.

"Ready?" he asked. When she nodded, he did too. "Okay, Sis, let's do this."


	523. Chapter 523

A moment after Shane had shouted, Bo had rushed over.

"Steve says you're not getting rid of him this easily," Bo said. He crouched next to Shane, tilted his head, and felt for Shane's pulse. "Steve's just got a shoulder wound. He should be okay. How 'bout you, Gov'nor?"

The word on Steve made Shane relieved. In response to Bo's question, he answered, "I've . . . I've had better . . . days." It was harder to talk than before. Whatever adrenaline had helped him struggle against the toxin seemed to be dissipating. Now, his entire body felt like it was stone. It wasn't painful like before; it was more like there was no feeling. Everything was very heavy and he no longer had any strength to move. Shane felt his eyes closing.

Bo said something that sounded like "Hang on," and then, Shane watched through his nearly-closed eyelids as Bo disappeared. The way Bo had moved his head, Shane could no longer see Steve and Kayla, but that must have been where Bo went. A moment later, he heard footsteps circling him. It didn't sound like Bo. Shane tried to see who it was, but the person was behind him now, by the gas chamber.

_Why_? he wondered.

A moment later, Kayla entered his line of sight. She crouched beside him and put an arm under his head.

"Here," she said. "Take this."

She lifted his head and put something to his lips. Then he became aware of the liquid in his mouth and running down his throat.

He nearly choked on it, but Kayla held his head firm. "Stay still," she said. "It's just the antidote. Don't fight it."

_The antidote_.

". . . doesn't work," he mumbled, his words still slurred.

"It does," Kayla insisted. "You just didn't know it can come back and cause a relapse. If you've been exposed too long or to too much."

That actually made sense. Shane had gotten a long blast of the toxin, definitely more than Steve and Lawrence. Changing the subject, he mumbled a question. "Steve . . . going . . . be okay?"

"I think so," she replied. "He had me scared, but it didn't hit any vitals. And you're going to be okay, too. Kimmie needs you."

"And Steve. . . he needs you," Shane said. His voice was growing stronger.

Kayla was still watching him with a concerned look on her face, and he remembered wondering why Kayla was even there. "Kay. . . . How did you find us?"

"Carly and I figured out the toxin at the Spectator wasn't right. Kim and I convinced Roman to come here. . . . I think he's finally come around."

"Well that's a bloody miracle," Shane said. "It took him long enough."

Kayla chuckled. "He's a Brady. What do you expect?" She glanced at Steve. "We pulled up just after Steve got outside. Kim wanted to come down here."

"Wait. . . ." Shane didn't realize Kim had been with her. "Kim?" Shane asked. "Where's Kim?"

"She was here, but she and Roman went to the school," Kayla said.

_The school. . . . _Shane took a moment to understand that. _The school. Andrew's school_. He tried to sit up, but his muscles refused to cooperate. One of his arms seemed to unfreeze and he flailed around momentarily until Kayla pushed him back to the ground.

"Calm down," she ordered. "Kim went with Roman so she could identify Ivan Marais." She tried to sound confident. "They'll find him."

"Andrew's there," Shane whispered. His son was in that school. Andrew and all those children were completely unaware that a madman was about to release a poison gas. "We need to stop him."

"They'll stop him," Kayla said, but he could detect her hesitation. She didn't know. None of them knew.

_And what about Kim_? She was rushing in there too. _What if something happens to her_?

Kayla seemed to know what he was thinking. "They'll be okay," she said. She glanced over her shoulder and Shane realized that she was looking back at Steve. "Everyone is going to be okay."

"Go," he said. "Make sure Steve's okay."

Kayla stayed where she was and checked lifted his arm so she could time his pulse.

"I mean it," Shane said. He was beginning to feel life flowing back into his limbs. He even managed to flex his hand a little. "See. . . . it's working this time. . . . So go take care of Steve."

"That's what he told me to do for you. I can't follow both your orders."

Shane suddenly remembered their talk after he had been shot. "There's nothing wrong with Steve being your priority. He should be. So go be with your husband."

Kayla gave him a guilty look, but he shook his head.

"No guilt, Kay. Go be with Steve."

Kayla lowered his arm and squeezed his hand. As she did, Shane heard distant shouts. An instant later, some unformed police and paramedics burst into the room. "The calvary," Kayla joked. Then she gave him a somber look and added, "Kim's going to be okay, Shane, and so is Andrew. She and Roman are going to stop them."

Shane nodded. As Kayla walked away to give instructions to the paramedics, he closed his eyes. He told himself that Kim had come through a lot worse. She would do anything to protect Andrew. And dimly, though it was minor compared to his concern about Andrew, the thought crossed his mind that it was ironic how his whole plan - the plan that Kim had protested so vehemently - now hinged on her finding Ivan Marais before he could release the toxin.

"I know you can do it, Kim," he whispered softly. "I have faith in you, my love. You can stop them and save us all."


	524. Chapter 524

"Which way?" Kim asked Roman. The school seemed like a maze of halls and classrooms. After entering the building, Roman had exchanged a few words with Abe. He had gone to the cafeteria, while she and Roman had gone the other direction - toward the classes. Now they were walking past one crowded room after another, each full of young children.

_It could be any minute_, Kim thought, thinking of what might happen if the poison was loosed on the unsuspecting classrooms. She looked at Roman, who looked more worried than she had ever seen him. His hand was gripping his pistol so tightly that she almost thought it might crack under the force of his grip.

"What about setting of the alarm?" Kim asked. "They would do a fire drill and take the kids outside."

Roman shook his head. "If we do that, we'll have kids all over the hallways. That'll make it harder for us to spot Marais. And even if we did, we'd have a bunch of kids in the way - possibly even give him hostages.

That all made sense, but it did not help relieve the tightness in her chest as she thought about her son being in one of those rooms. She guessed Roman was probably having the same thoughts about Eric and Sami.

"Where the hell is he?" Roman growled. They had run the entire length of the first floor of the classroom and seen no sign of Ivan Marais. Roman stopped and pulled out a walkie talkie. "Abe," he said. "Nothing on this side. I looked through the window of every classroom too; he's not in any one of them."

There was a small squawk and Abe spoke through the machine. "I've seen nothing over here. You don't think it's a false alarm, do you?"

Roman gave Kim a quick glance, but she glared at him. "No, partner, this is real. . . ." He looked around and said, "Let's check the second floor. You sure he's not on the roof, right?"

Over the radio, Abe answered. "We'd have seen him from outside. Our units had a good view."

"Okay," Roman said. "Let's check upstairs."

There were staircases on each end of the school, so Kim followed Roman through a set of maroon-painted double-doors to a wide staircase. They quickly ran up the stairs to the second floor. Roman checked his gun again and nodded before he pushed open the doors and dropped into a crouch.

The corridor was empty.

"Dammit," Roman snapped. "Where the hell is he?"

An instant later, the walkie talkie squawked and Abe reported, "No sign of him here."

Roman slammed a hand against a wall. Then, just in case Marais was in one of the upstairs classrooms, Roman sprinted from one classroom to the next, looking through the pane of glass at each door to see if anything appeared amiss. Kim followed her brother until they reached the far end of the corridor.

"He's not here," Roman said. "I'm sure Steve thinks he heard Lawrence say it was the school, but maybe that was just part of Lawrence's game. Maybe it was just a ruse."

Kim had to concede that was possible, but it just didn't fit the complete facts. Kayla and Carly were convinced the toxin at the Spectator was not the one Carly had studied. That meant Lawrence had another target for the real toxin. And Kim felt confident that, if Lawrence told Steve about Salem Elementary, he meant it. Lawrence would have only bragged about another target if he had been confident that Steve could not tell anyone.

So that meant Ivan Marais was in the school. So where was he? Where would someone go if he didn't want to be seen? _Where would you go in an elementary school if you didn't want to be seen_?

The answer came suddenly.

_Where did you go when you needed to cry to yourself about Uncle Eric_?

"He's in a bathroom," Kim said, absolutely certain that she was right. "There must be vents in the bathrooms."

Roman jumped into action. "Come on," he said, starting to run toward the bathrooms they had passed. Into his radio, he ordered additional units to converge on the school. "Abe, the bathrooms. . . ."

Stopping stopped short in front of a door. Roman waved at Kim to keep her distance. His gun ready, he stepped back and then kicked forward. The door sprung open and Roman raced inside. Kim watched him charge through the bathroom as he checked all the stalls. "It's not this one," he finally said as he came running back through the door.

The same was true of the girl's bathroom at the next doorway. After Roman raced back out, breathing heavily, he glanced at his watch.

"There can't be much time left."

Kim wanted to panic at the very thought, but she forced herself to stay calm. "Downstairs," is all she said. Roman nodded and they both went running back toward the staircase. Kim struggled to keep up as they ran down the stairs, through the doors, and down the corridor. Roman reached the first bathroom door, kicked it open, and charged through. He never slowed.

"Don't move!" Roman shouted at someone inside, just as Kim reached the doorway.

Roman was standing around the edge of a tiled wall, his gun pointed up at a corner of the room. Kim inched past him so she could get a view and saw a row of dark-wooden stalls, their doors open.

The only closed door was in the center stall, where, his torso, shoulders, and head visible over the top of the stall stood the man they were hunting - Ivan Marais.

For him to be visible, he must have been standing on the toilet. His right arm was raised, the hand around clear plastic tubing that was snaked into a ventilation duct above the stall. From where she was standing, Kim could not see beneath the stall door, but she had no doubt the hose was connected to a tank containing the toxin.

"Now. . . . Lower your hand," Roman ordered. Marais let go of the hose, which remained in place, and dropped his hand. He turned his head slightly so he could see Roman and Kim. Roman took a few steps toward the stall. Kim followed. Roman stopped in front of the stall, Kim beside him. "Okay, Marais, step down and open the door."

Marais' upped body started to lower, but he just smiled as his head disappeared from view.

"Roman!" Kim shouted.

Roman charged the door, but it held firm. "It's locked," he growled. "Open the door, Marais," he called out. "Open up or I'll shoot."

Kim watched her brother and knew there was no time to hesitate. Marais could be opening the cannister. She looked up and saw the hose running from the vent to whatever Marais had in his hand. Kim looked from the hose to the open stall immediately in front of her. It was just to the left of the one where Marais was hidden.

At any moment, the toxin could start flowing through that hose. Maybe it already was.

_It's up to me_, she thought. Racing forward, Kim scrambled onto the toilet in the stall. She heard Roman kick at the door of the stall beside her and the wood beside her shook. She reached up for the hose and grabbed it with her outstretched hand.

As she started to pull, she looked down into the stall to her left. She saw Marais pulling a gas mask over his face.

"Shoot, Roman!" Kim shouted.

Hearing her, Marais jerked his head up. She could not see his eyes through the mask, but she saw him reach for something tucked inside his jacket.

_He has a gun_, Kim realized.

Below her, the room exploded with noise. Roman fired at something, but Marais only flinched. He did not appear to be hurt.

_What's Roman shooting_? Kim wondered. But her eyes focused on Marais, who raised a gun in her direction. Wide-eyed, Kim felt the entire world slow as Marais' finger tightened on the trigger.

Kim jerked back just as Marais fired. She felt the heat of the bullet as it flew past her, then her foot slipped off the toilet seat, and she fell backward. As she tumbled through the air, Kim heard a shout, followed quickly by a tremendous bang, a loud crashing noise, and two more explosions. The bathroom echoed from the gunshots.

Then there was silence.

Staring up at the florescent lights overhead, Kim heard nothing until Roman called her name.

"Kimmie. . . are you okay?"

It took a moment for Kim to think of the answer. She hurt from the fall, but she did not think anything was broken. "I think so," she groaned. She raised her head and turned it toward the middle stall.

On the ground was Ivan Marais' crumpled body. He had landed in a twisted heap, his head facing hers, but his face still obscured by the gas mask. A small stream of blood ran down his side from his chest and was spreading out from the body across the white tile floor.

A foot appeared beside her head and Kim looked up to see Roman staring down at her with worried eyes. He crouched down and began to check her.

"I'm okay," Kim said, her eyes going back to Marais.

"You don't need to look at that," Roman said. He put an arm under Kim's shoulder and helped her to her feet. He looked her over and then said, "Here, let me have that."

_Have what_? Kim looked down in the direction where Roman was looking and realized that he was reaching toward her hand and the plastic tubing that she was clutching. Kim looked up at the vent and saw no hose there. Instead, the tube in her hand ran over the side of the stall. Kim had not realized she was still holding the plastic tubing. She had not even realized that she had pulled the hose free of the vent.

She did not move, but Roman took the plastic from her hand and grinned. "That was pretty good thinking, Sis. You distracted him and then took out the toxin. Since when did you become Wonder Woman?"

Kim just stared at him, still in shock. "Is it over?" she asked. _Is it finally over_?

An instant later, Abe and some uniformed Salem P.D. members charged through the door. "Roman!" Abe yelled, but it took him only a moment to figure out what had happened and realize that the situation was under control. He relaxed, put his gun in his holster, and ordered the other officers to start an evacuation.

Meanwhile, Roman grew somber and put an arm around Kim. He and Abe exchanged a look and then, holding Kim close, steered her out of the bathroom. "It's over," Roman said. "Let's go find Shane."

They had just started down the hall toward the main entry when several men in dark suits raced through the doors. In the front of the group was Tarrington. He jerked his head around until he saw them.

"Roman." Tarrington raced forward.

Roman nodded back. "Chief," he said. "You'll find Abe Carver in the bathroom with the body and the toxin. Perhaps you can work with the Principal to get the children out of the school. That toxin is still in there. It was never released, but I think it would be better if we cleared the place out until it's gone."

Tarrington nodded brusquely. "Very well. I will need the two of you to come with me."

Kim felt a hot rage roar through her. _How dare he give me an order. _"We're not going anywhere with you," Kim snapped. She glanced quickly at Roman. "At least, I'm not."

"You'll have to excuse us for now, Chief," Roman said. "I'm sure Kim will be happy to give you a statement, but after we go to the refinery." He started to steer her away from Tarrington and toward the door.

Two of the dark-suited men stepped in front of them, blocking their path. Roman stiffened and then looked behind at Tarrington. The ISA Chief spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Roman, but that was not a request." Tarrington looked at Kim. "Your sister and you will come with us, immediately."


	525. Chapter 525

Kayla handed one of the vials of antidote to a paramedic and told him to make sure it stayed with Shane. If he began to show symptoms of muscle paralysis or breathing difficulties, the paramedics were to give Shane another vial.

There was still so much they did not know about the toxin. She glanced back at Shane, who was talking with two EMTs crouched beside him.

Across the room, an EMT was checking Steve's vital signs. From the way Steve rolled his eyes when he caught her looking at him, she quickly got the sense that her husband was about to make the poor man's life a living hell.

"Lenny, let me do the talking," she said, quickly sliding between the EMT and Steve.

Steve looked at her, apparently amused. "Now, you're not about to lecture me about my bedside manner, are you? I'm the one who's the patient here."

"He's just trying to help," Kayla said, her tone light, despite her implicit admonishment.

"The only thing that will help is letting me get out of here so we can go to that school."

Kayla shook her head. "Wrong answer, Steve. You need to get that shoulder checked out." When he grimaced, she looked him in the eye. "I'm serious. I know you're worried; we all are. . . . But there's nothing we can do right now."

Steve grumbled for a minute, but didn't argue. "How's Shane?"

"He'll be okay," Kayla said. "The EMTs are going to keep an eye on him for another relapse, and I've got extra antidote in my pocket just in case we need more. . . . I'll turn it over to Carly when we get to the hospital."

Steve grinned. "Have I ever told you you're a genius, baby? They should have you running that hospital. Who cares that you're not a doctor?" He seemed to think a moment. "Or maybe you should be a doctor."

"I'm going to be busy enough as a nurse, thank you - and as a mother of two babies, if you hadn't forgotten," Kayla replied. "I think I've got enough on my plate."

"Just make sure you leave a little room on that plate for me," Steve said, He started to add a cheeky grin, but it dissolved into a sharp yelp as Lenny slid a brace around Steve's shoulder. He started to say something to the paramedic, but Kayla cut him off.

"I've got it," she told a Steve, whose eye had shut tight against the obvious pain. "He's just stabilizing it so we can move you."

Steve let out a gasping breath. "I can hold my damn arm to stabilize it," he growled.

"I see the patient is cooperating," Bo's voice chirped from over her shoulder. Kayla looked up to see Bo staring down at them with his arms crossed. "Steve always was a model patient. The doc on board our ship once offered me $50 bucks to push Steve over the rail if he got sick before the doc's transfer orders came in."

Steve clearly did not appreciate Bo's humor. "Har de har har, Beauregard." Steve gave Bo an even look. "Why don't you go do something useful? Like find out if the cops have heard anything about the school."

_Could there be news already_? Kayla had lost track of time. She looked at the clock, but that was no help because she had not checked a clock when they had first arrived at the refinery. "How long has it been?" she asked Steve in a low voice that could not completely hide her worry.

"Long enough," Steve said. "Roman should have gotten there by now."

Kayla looked back at Bo. "Could you?"

Bo nodded, his face showing some of the same concern that she knew was on her own. He turned and jogged out of the room.

_Let the news be good_, Kayla prayed. Seeming to read her mind, Steve reached out with his good hand, clasped her hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. Kayla gave a small nod.

She turned her head at the sound of a small commotion on the other side of the room.

"I don't need to be bloody carried," Shane snapped. He had risen to his feet, though he was leaning against the wall of the plexiglass cage. Kayla tried not to think of what Lawrence had used that for.

Steve muttered. "Guess I'm not the only difficult patient at the moment."

There was no humor in Steve's voice though. They both knew Shane was focusing on the school and worrying if Andrew and Kim were all right.

Behind her, Kayla heard a hesitant voice. As if almost afraid to say anything, Lenny said, "Um . . . we're, um, ready to move. . . ."

"About time," Steve said. Kayla felt him let go of her hand before she could even turn her head. By the time she glanced at Steve, he was nearly to his feet. He grimaced as Lenny made sure the brace stayed in place. "It's not going anywhere," Steve grumbled, then he quickly forced a smile to his face and looked at Kayla as if to assure her that he was playing nice.

She took his good arm and steered him toward the exit. She glanced over her shoulder at Shane. He was walking with minimal help and seemed more steady than before.

"You okay back there, Donovan," Steve called.

Shane nodded. "Thanks to you - yet again."

"Yeah. . . well, we'll need to talk about how you didn't tell me about the antidote not working. You shouldn't have kept that from me. . . ."

Kayla squeezed Steve's arm. "Later, after we get you both checked out." She nearly shoved Steve through the door. They could argue later.

Lenny and another EMT led them down the corridor. She held onto Steve, though he could have easily walked on his own. Behind her, Shane followed, shadowed closely by two other EMTs. They had just entered the video room when Bo appeared at the top of the stairs.

"They got him!" he shouted. "They did it. They stopped the toxin."

Kayla felt her entire body sag into Steve's. "They did it," she breathed.

Behind her, she heard Shane gasp and then say a grateful, "Thank God."

_It's finally over_, Kayla thought. Lawrence was dead and everyone was safe. She felt her breath coming faster. "They did it," she said again. She looked up at Steve, whose eye was shining back at her. Now, almost half-crying and half-laughing, she repeated, "They really did it."

Steve wrapped his good arm around her and pulled her close. "Yeah, baby, they did. It's over. It's all over."


	526. Chapter 526

Shane sat impatiently on the examining table and tried to hear if anyone was saying anything on the other side of the curtains. Lawrence had taken his watch the day before, so Shane had no idea what time it was. But he was sure it had been at least an hour since they had arrived in an extremely chaotic and crowded emergency room.

Neil had dragged him into the area and run a battery of tests - a lung x-ray, multiple blood tests, and had repeatedly forced Shane to blow air into the machine that measured his lung capacity at regular intervals. Now Shane had several electrodes stuck to his chest and back and a clip around his index finger to monitor his heart rate and blood-oxygen levels. An orderly stood in the corner, watching Shane like a hawk for any sign of the toxin's effects returning. In the ambulance and after he had arrived at University Hospital, his vision had gone blurry and he had begun to feel the heaviness returning to his limbs. The symptoms had been weaker than before, but they had given him some of the remaining antidote. A half-filled vial with the blue label sat on a surgical tray just in case Shane experienced any further relapses.

None had occurred for more than an hour, though, and Shane was anxious to get out of the enclosure. His frustration was mounting. Shane knew Kim had to be nearby. She would have insisted on coming here as soon as she made sure Andrew was okay. He knew she would have demanded to see him.

_So where is she_? He got up off the table and began to pace. An uneasy feeling began to creep over him. He needed to find Kim. He wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her, and never let her go. This nightmare was finally over.

The curtain pulled back and Neil stepped inside.

Shane stopped pacing and looked at the doctor expectantly.

"I've got the results back of your lung x-ray and the preliminary blood tests," Neil said.

"So when can I get out of here?" Shane asked impatiently. "I'm okay, Neil." He looked past Neil into the emergency room, hoping to spot Kim somewhere.

Neil held up a hand. "Hold your horses, Shane, and please, let me be the doctor here. I want to go over these results. . . . Starting with your lungs."

Shane knew that had been Neil's biggest worry. With Shane's lung capacity already diminished by Cal Winters' bullet, Neil had insisted on checking whether Shane's breathing had been further compromised.

"So what's the verdict?" Shane asked.

"I don't see anything to indicate that your lungs have suffered further damage," Neil replied. "But that's based on what an x-ray can show." He pulled over the machine that tested lung capacity and handed Shane the tube to blow into. When Shane rolled his eyes, Neil gave him a stern look.

"Okay, you're the doctor." Shane took a deep breath and blew into the tube as hard as he could. He waited while Neil checked the results.

Neil looked through his charts. "Well, I can't see any decrease in terms of function." He flipped the page. "As for your blood, Carly went over to the refinery and snuck out some samples of whatever Lawrence had stored there."

"Snuck out?" Shane asked.

Neil nodded. "She says she was just leaving when the ISA descended. They shut down the site pretty quickly."

It made sense to secure a crime scene, Shane thought, but Carly was part of the ISA's science team. She had been brought in to work on the toxin. "But they didn't confiscate the toxin when she took it?"

"No, she said she told them she needed a few vials of the antidote so she could begin replicating it immediately in case of accidental release." Neil paused. "And she told them we might need some more in case of relapses. . . ."

"And you think I'm going to have more relapses?"

Neil shrugged. "I can't say. Carly ran a quick test on what she took and said she thinks there's still some toxin in your system, but the recurrences seem to be getting progressively weaker. She's still studying the toxin, but she thinks you might experience some brief dizzy spells or momentary weakness over the next week or so while it works its way out of your system, but she doubts anything too serious will happen." He handed Shane a full vial of the antidote. "She said you should keep this with you and drink a little if you feel symptoms."

With a nod, Shane took the vial. "Thanks. I'll have to find Carly and thank her too. If not for her and the lab, things could have been a lot worse." He looked at Neil. "And the hospital, too."

For a moment, Neil seemed to blanch. Then he set down the chart and shook his head. "I guess I understand why you wanted Carly's work to be secret. . . ." Neil looked up. "But, Shane. . . . Why didn't you let us know so we could have been been better prepared."

"You were as prepared as you could have been," Shane said evenly, not knowing if any explanation would make Neil feel less betrayed. "Carly and Kayla knew. They were looking for the first symptoms. You couldn't have done more. It's not like you could do emergency preparedness drills for a toxic gas attack. It would have raised red flags and sounded alarms from here to Chicago, and started a bloody panic. And more than likely, Lawrence would have taken his poison to another city that wasn't prepared for him."

With a sigh, Neil seemed to debate the point silently, but he finally gave up and nodded. "Okay, I see your point. I won't even say I wish you'd have trusted me, at least."

Shane decided against saying that he knew Neil couldn't have sat idle and done nothing. That would not help. It would take time more than anything else for Neil to get over feeling betrayed.

_At least you'll have that time now._ It was a thought that made Shane smile a little. Now that they had stopped Lawrence, he could deal with the ISA and get the charges dropped. That meant he would be able to continue living in Salem with the circle of friends and family that had become such a significant part of his life over the past seven years.

"What's so funny?" Neil asked.

"I was just thinking about time. . . ." Shane knew that sounded cryptic, but he didn't want to explain right now. "Look, Neil, you've run your tests. Everything looks good and I've got this-" He raised the vial of antidote in his hand. "-if anything starts up again. Can I please go find Kim?"

Neil almost seemed amused, but he just said, "Fine." He helped Shane remove the electrodes and the other monitor, then handed Shane a clean dress shirt. "I keep a couple extras in my office."

Shane took it, thanked Neil as he and the orderly left, and got dressed. Then he left the curtained enclosure.

The emergency room seemed less chaotic than before. Shane suspected most of the people brought in from the Spectator had been sent home or had been moved to rooms. Neil had told him earlier that some of the older victims were being kept for observation, but that was purely precautionary.

Exiting the emergency room doors, Shane spotted Bo, John, and Isabella. John's arm was in a sling, but he was alive and looked okay. His other arm was wrapped around Isabella's shoulders, but he let go of her, rushed toward Shane, and broke into a wide grin.

"You did it, partner," he said. "Exactly according to plan."

Shane had to laugh. "Not exactly, mate. Your getting shot was most definitely not part of it."

John harrumphed. "A minor detail." Isabella had reached them and she wrapped her arms around John's waist.

"I'm just glad you're all okay," she said. "When they started bringing people in and we heard about the attack on the Spectator, John insisted on checking out. Then we heard you and Steve were in the ER. Another few minutes and we would've been heading down to the refinery ourselves."

The mention of Steve made Shane ask where he and Kayla were.

"Marcus is patching him up," Bo said. "I don't know if they're going to try to put him in a room, but I'd lay odds they can't get him to stay the night."

Shane chuckled at the thought. "That's one bet I wouldn't take. Marcus knows better than to even try. . . ." Shane looked around. "And Kim? Shouldn't she and Roman be here by now?"

John and Bo exchanged looks that made Shane grow uneasy. Something obviously was going on.

"Where's Kim?" Shane asked. He looked at John and Bo, and asked again, "One of you . . . tell me, where is Kimberly?"


	527. Chapter 527

Steve gritted his teeth as Marcus manipulated his shoulder into the sling. He could feel Kayla stroking his arm and heard her say, "It's almost over."

Finally, Marcus released Steve's arm. Steve took a deep breath as Marcus stood back and smiled. "What's so funny?" Steve growled as he felt the sharp pain subside only to be replaced by a dull ache.

"You, tough guy," Marcus replied. "One little bullet and you're down for the count." Marcus stopped smiling and his tone grew serious. "If you can't figure out how to dodge those things, how about staying out of trouble? I only have one best friend and I don't want to lose him again."

"Me, either," Kayla said, leaning down to place a kiss on Steve's cheek. "You're lucky it was just muscle it went through."

Steve used his good arm to reach up and stroke Kayla's cheek. "Come on, Sweetness, you know I'm a tomcat. I've got three or four more lives to use up." He grinned and continued, "Besides, now I have matching scars on both shoulders. I'll be the hit of the fashion season."

Kayla just rolled her eyes and turned to Marcus. "Does he need to stay or can I take him home?"

Marcus made a note in Steve chart. "You can take him home. Just make sure he takes his antibiotics to keep out any infection. And I'll give you a prescription for a painkiller to take over the next few days."

"I don't need a painkiller, homie," Steve protested.

"Judging by your expression when I put that arm in a sling, I'd say you were wrong," Marcus said. "But, even if you don't want them, Kayla might need to give them to you just to put up with you."

"Ha ha." Steve just ignored his best friend and turned back to his wife. "You love me, no matter what kind of mood I'm in, don't ya, Sweetness?"

"Of course, I do," Kayla said, lovingly. Then she turned to Marcus. "But why don't you give me that prescription just in case?"

Steve let out a mock cry of betrayal as Kayla and Marcus laughed. After a moment, Marcus moved towards the door. "I need to go check on some real patients now." He looked at Kayla. "Take him home and keep him quiet for a day or two." Then he looked at Steve. "Do what your wife says or I'll dig around in that shoulder just for the fun of it."

Steve nodded. "Thanks, Marcus."

"Yeah, yeah. If you really want to thank me, you'll stop getting shot." With that parting remark, Marcus left.

As the door closed, Steve carefully sat up and turned his legs so they were hanging off the gurney. "Come on, baby. Let's get out of here."

Kayla nodded and helped Steve stand. Then she carefully placed her coat over his scrub shirt and sling.

"I guess that leather jacket is history, huh?" Steve said, regretfully. It had always been his favorite.

"I'm afraid so," Kayla agreed. "Between the bullet holes, blood, and damage done cutting it off of you, there isn't much left."

"Well, if I had to trade my favorite jacket for getting rid of Alamain, then it was more than worth it."

Kayla nodded in agreement. "I can't believe he's really dead. After you were gone, we tried so hard to find a way to prove that Lawrence was responsible, but he kept slipping away. I don't think I really believed we would ever be rid of him."

"Well, he's gone now, Sweetness. So how about we stop thinking about him and go home and see our baby girl?"

Kayla smiled and opened the door. Steve walked through, careful not to let his injured arm brush against the door. Then Kayla joined him and they began walking towards the emergency room staff exit. As they reached it, a large man in a suit stepped in front of them.

"I'm sorry, but you can't leave," he said.

Steve stared at the man, knowing what this had to be, but not wanting to believe it. "What do you mean we can't leave?" he asked with a growl. "If you haven't noticed, I just got a bullet wound patched up and I'd like to go home."

"I'm sorry," the man repeated in a polite, but determined, tone. "The hospital has been quarantined until further notice."

"Quarantine?" Kayla sounded incredulous. "On whose orders?"

The man did not answer, but his silence told Steve the answer. The ISA. Motioning to the doors to the main hospital foyer, the man said,"I suggest you wait in there and we'll let you know when you can leave."

Steve wanted to argue but knew it would be a waste of time. Kayla must have felt the same way because she just tugged on his good arm and began walking towards the doors. Steve followed, cursing the ISA silently from keeping from his daughter.

As they walked through the doors, Steve immediately saw Shane, Bo, John and Isabella standing together by the front desk. He and Kayla moved in that direction, eager to reunite with their friends.

As they approached, Bo looked up and grinned. "I knew that a stupid bullet couldn't keep you down for long. You're too damn stubborn."

Steve grinned. "And you wouldn't know anything about being stubborn, would you, Beauregard?"

Bo flashed a "who me?" look and reached over and hugged Kayla. "How are you holding up, sis?"

"I'm okay," Kayla said quietly. "I just don't understand why they won't let us go home." The she looked at Shane. "Are you okay? Did Neil examine you?"

"I'm fine," Shane replied. "Neil said I might have a few minor relapses, but I have more of the antidote so there is nothing to worry about." He paused and looked toward the door. "I'm more worried about where the ISA has Kim."

It suddenly dawned on Steve that Kim was not there. Kayla's tone became reassuring. "I'm sure she's fine," she said, sounding to Steve like she was trying to sound as optimistic as she could. "Kimmie's with Roman. He won't let anything happen."

"Yeah, dude," Steve said. "Besides, we have to talk about you not telling me how you were feeling when I left you with Alamain. You could have gotten yourself killed."

"And a whole lot of kids could have died if you hadn't left when you did," Shane replied calmly. "I made a choice and you would have done the same thing in my shoes."

Steve started to argue, but realized he couldn't. He would have done whatever he had to do to get Shane to leave and alert the school.

"How about we just stop talking about that?" John said. "The way I see it, Alamain is gone, the kids are safe, and we all made it out without any major damage."

"Sure, if you don't call a couple of bullet wounds and toxin exposure 'major damage,'" Isabella added in a humorous tone.

The group chuckled and Kayla said, "Unfortunately, with these guys, it seems to be standard operating procedure."

Everyone laughed a little more and then things fell quiet again. Shane kept looking at the door and Steve had to admit he was not feeling all that patient about being locked inside the hospital right now.

Kayla must have detected his impatience. "How about we go somewhere a little more comfortable? There's a staff lounge over there that I'm sure we can use."

Everyone agreed and the group moved towards the lounge. As they went, Steve couldn't help but look at the ISA agents staked out around the exits. He wasn't sure what was going on, but his gut told him there was a lot more to this little lockdown than just finishing the investigation.


	528. Chapter 528

"Why are you keeping me here?"

Kim glared at the ISA agent seated across the table from her. The agent was an attractive woman in her mid-40s, who gazed back with a placid smile. When she spoke, she reminded Kim of how she might speak to Andrew when he asked for candy for the tenth time on a shopping trip.

"I'm sorry, but I have orders that you are to remain here until we have confirmed that conditions are secure." She gave that dopey smile again. "I assure you that this is for your own safety."

"My own safety?" Kim scoffed as she got out of the chair, wincing as the rose. Falling earlier had left her a little sore. Forcing away the slight pain, she walked to the glass wall of the interrogation room. She knew that the room was visible to whoever was on the other side. "I doubt this is for my own safety," she said, forcing herself to remain calm. "Ivan Marais is dead and you have the toxin. I already I gave you my statement, so what else do you need?"

The woman did not respond, but went back to looking through the file folder in front of her. That left Kim to stew. Annoyed, she called out to the wall, "You can't keep me in here." Then she turned back to the ISA agent at the table. "I want to call a lawyer. If you won't let me go, you have to let me call a lawyer."

"You're not under arrest, Mrs. Brady."

Instinctively, Kim started to say, "It's Ms., not-" But she stopped short. It felt wrong to say that. She closed her eyes, her heart yearning to be with Shane. Finally, she sighed and asked, "If you won't let me go, would you at least tell me where Shane and my family are?"

The agent shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. - I mean Ms. Brady, but I am not liberty to divulge any information at the moment."

"Of course not," Kim muttered under her breath. That was how it had been ever since she and Roman had been taken from the school. Tarrington had handed them off to some agents who had brought them to the ISA field office, where they had been separated. Kim had been put in this room for at least an hour and she had no idea where Roman was. She suspected he was in another room like this. Otherwise, he would have probably broken down the door to get her out.

Smiling slightly, she pictured her older brother's red-faced fury when the agents insisted on "escorting" them to the Salem P.D. Despite Roman's demands to contact his units, the agents had refused to let him touch the radio or make any calls. They also had refused to tell Roman anything about what was happening at the refinery.

Kim stared at the wall and, with no other choice, went back to the table and took her seat. She told herself everything was fine. If something had happened, they would have told her. At least she hoped they would have.

She also reminded herself that, if something had gone wrong with Shane, she would have felt it. But she didn't. Gone was the chill that had been with her since the day before and she no longer had that feeling of dread that she had first felt when she had last seen Shane.

The thought quelled her anxiety, but it did stop the aching need to see him. She just wanted to hold him, finally knowing that this nightmare was over. Kim glanced at the ISA agent, but the woman was focused on her files. For a moment, Kim debated rushing the door and pounding on it, but she suspected nothing would come of it.

A moment later, it became unncessary. "Damn it," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "I'm going to see my Sis." The voice got louder, the door bursting open as Roman finished the final words. He surged through the doorframe, a tweedy man behind him. It took Kim a moment to remember that he was the field office director; Shane had introduced her to the man once before.

"See, Commander Brady, your sister is fine," the man said.

Shut up, Benson." Roman glared at the man. "I'll let her speak for herself." He looked back at Kim. "You okay?"

She nodded. "I just want to go home," she said. "I want to see Shane."

"You got it." Roman looked at Benson. "They told me they had taken you already. I was dealing with some agents, and just found out they kept you here." He wrapped an arm around Kim and turned her to the door. Looking again at the ISA field director, Roman aid, "I don't know what kind of games you're playing here, but I don't like being lied to. Now I'm taking Kim with me to the hospital."

Kim looked up, suddenly worried. "The hospital?"

"It's okay," Roman said quickly. "They tell me Shane's okay. Steve was shot, but he's going to be fine. Everyone's okay."

The fear that had started to rise within her began to subside. _Everyone is okay. We stopped them from hurting our family and friends._ That thought was still in her head when Roman continued.

"Lawrence is dead."

That almost did not register. _Dead_. Kim felt a wave of emotions wash over her, but the dominant feeling was relief - relief that Lawrence Alamain would never threaten anyone she loved ever again. And she also felt some pity. She had thought, for a time, that there was an innocent boy trapped inside Lawrence Alamain. She had learned the hard way that he was not innocent, but he was a boy, trapped behind a wall of arrogance and pride.

"You okay?" Roman asked.

Kim looked back up at him and nodded. "Let's go. I want to see Shane."

Field Director Benson tried to block their path. "Roman, I'm sorry, but you and Mrs. Brady are supposed to stay here until Chief Tarrington authorizes that you can leave."

Roman sneered. "'Mrs. Brady' is my wife, and she's not here to stick around. My sister, on the other hand, has people that she needs to see, and I'm going to take her there. And you tell Tarrington that if he has an issue with that, he can come discuss it with me at University Hospital." He stepped forward, forcing the ISA man out of the way and Roman led her toward the exit. "Let's go see our family, Sis."


	529. Chapter 529

Shane had hesitated as he reached the door of the staff lounge, but he had followed the others inside. Once through the door, he leaned back against a wall and watched as Kayla helped Steve settle into a chair. He smiled up at her as she fawned over him. John and Isabella talked quietly in a corner. John smiled and placed his good hand on her abdomen. Bo had taken a spot on the far side of the lounge, but was pacing back and forth.

It all just reinforced that Kim was not there, which made Shane even more agitated. Even though they were the only ones in the lounge at the moment, it felt too crowded, too claustrophobic. He needed to get out of there.

Making his way through the door, Shane looked around the hospital floor, but he didn't really see any other place to go. There was a crowd of workers in the waiting area who were watching the latest news. Tom Horton was among them and Shane debated walking over, but he did not want to make small talk. So he just walked over to the nurse's station, leaned against it, and stared at the hospital doors, willing Kim to come bursting through.

Alice Horton had a couple of volunteers serving coffee. One of the women in a striped apron began to carry a cup over to Shane, but she stopped short when she saw his face. She scowled, turned back and walked over to Alice. They had a whispered exchanged for a moment, before Alice rolled her eyes, took the cup from the other woman, and carried it over to Shane herself.

"I'm sorry about that, Shane," she said. "Not everyone in Salem knows you like we do."

_So the woman saw the notorious traitor and had refused to serve him._ "It's okay," he said. "I understand." Silently, to himself, he added, _That will change soon enough._

Alice gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his arm, before heading back to the group in front of the television. Alone again, Shane sipped at his coffee and stared at the door some more. Finally deciding that was fruitless, he decided to join the group at the television, though he gave a wide berth to the volunteer who continued to give him nervous glances.

On the screen, a reporter was reporting from in front of Salem Elementary, but she mainly said that authorities were tight-lipped about what had happened there. All they would confirm is that it was related to the attack at the Spectator and that the situation was under control. Behind her, Shane spotted several men in HazMat suits.

The camera switched to the news studio where Jennifer Devereaux and her co-anchor were seated. Jennifer announced that the planned press conference between the ISA and Salem P.D. had been cancelled without explanation.

"What do you think that's all about?" John asked, his voice coming from so close behind Shane that he nearly jumped. He had been so focused on the news that he had not heard John come close. He had not even realized John had left the staff lounge.

Shane shook his head. "I don't know." He tried to stop his mind from spinning out possible scenarios. More toxin. Did Lawrence have a back-up plan in case his plans at the refinery were thwarted? Was there something wrong with the removal of the toxin at the school?

He decided neither of those were likely. If there was concern about more toxin, the ISA and Salem P.D. would have had the hospital on high alert. Right now, the only people in the vicinity of the emergency room were the members of the Brady family and members of the hospital staff who were unable to leave because of the lockdown order. At the moment, Neil was at the nurse's desk, arguing with an agent that Shane recognized as one of Tarrington's assistants.

"These people have families to get home to!" Neil yelled, slamming a stack of charts onto the counter. "You can't keep-"

Shane moved quickly to intervene. He took Neil's arm and pulled him to the side. John followed closely.

"There's no point getting yourself arrested," Shane said in a low voice. He motioned to the staff lounge. "There's nothing you'll accomplish by arguing."

Neil began to protest, but he finally just grimaced and nodded. They walked to the lounge and went back inside. Steve and Kayla looked up from their seats.

"Any word?" Kayla asked.

"Nope," John said. He looked at Shane, who gave a quick summary of the news report.

Steve scowled. "You don't think Roman ran into trouble, do you?"

"Just the ISA kind," came Roman's voice as the lounge door opened. Everyone spun around to see Roman just outside the room. He stepped aside and Kim entered.

She seemed to freeze for a moment when she saw Shane. Their eyes met and he felt a stab of guilt as he saw hers fill with grateful tears. She rushed forward, but stopped as she got a close look at his bruised faced. She reached up and brushed his cheek as if testing to see if it hurt. He managed not to wince and gave her a small smile back.

Kim let out a loud sob, threw her arms around him, and buried her head against his chest.

Shane held her nearly as tight. He tried to speak, but his words caught in his throat and he just held her. He felt the fear and tension leave her body as she sagged against him.

Finding his voice, he breathed, "It's okay, Kim. I'm okay. We're all okay."

"I was so scared," she said. "When I heard Lawrence-"

"Shhhh. . . ." Shane pulled back and lifted his index finger to her lips. "Don't. It's over and I'm okay. . . ." He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, which were shining through the wetness of her tears. "And I'm never going to do that to you again, Kim. Do you understand me? I was a fool for going after Lawrence like that and . . . and I could have lost everything that mattered. I was a fool."

Kim shook her head. "No, you weren't. It worked," she said. "Your plan worked. You stopped Lawrence, Shane. Like you planned. Now we just have to tell the world that it was all because of you."

"Hardly 'all,'" Shane said. He started to turn and was about to point out that the others in the room had probably done more than him, but then he realized everyone in the room was watching them.

Shane thought the temperature in the room suddenly shot up as Steve grinned broadly and said, "Hey, you kids, don't mind us."

Taking it in good stride, Shane waited for everyone to finish snickering. Then he grew somber. "I do mean it. When I planned this, it was just going to be me on the line. I never expected to get you all involved. . . ."

Steve snorted. "Yeah, well, you must not have noticed what family you married into."

"Well, I still thank you," Shane said. He glanced around, looking at Steve, Kayla, and John. As he looked at Roman, he nodded. "All of you."

Roman shrugged. "I don't know what for. I didn't do anything." He turned to John. "Did you do anything?"

"Nope," John replied, then looked at Shane. "I don't know what you're talking about, partner. Steve?" John called out, though he didn't look away from Shane.

Shane felt Kim squeeze his arm and he began to nod his head slowly and appreciatively.

"Not a stinkin' clue," Steve called out. "I think that gas Shane got hit with maybe took out a few more brain cells than we thought."

Kim's fingers dug into his arms. He turned and saw the fear again in her eyes.

"I'm okay," Shane said. "We've got the antidote. Everything at the school worked out, right?" He looked at Roman, who nodded back.

"Marais is dead, and he never managed to release the gas." Roman smiled a little. "That's really Kimmie's doing. She pulled the plug on it - quite gracefully, I might add."

Shane was a bit befuddled, and he glanced down at Kim, who was blushing. She looked sheepishly at Shane.

"Gracefully falling off a toilet bowl onto my behind," she explained.

"Don't let my sis sell herself short," Roman said. "She ripped apart the device Ivan Marais was going to use to pump the toxin into a vent." He must have caught wind of the glare that Kim suddenly gave him and quickly backpedaled. "I mean, nothing. She didn't do a thing."

Shane smiled at Kim. "I guess I owe you too."

"Not a thing," she said softly.

Sounding exasperated, Steve called out from where he was sitting. "Look, dude, stop arguing about it. You're taking credit, because you deserve it. You figured out what Lawrence was gonna do and you figured out how to stop it. And we're going to tell the world it was all part of the ISA's plan. So now that we've got the Salem Police Commissioner with us, why don't we head on out and start telling the story so we can keep your sorry English mug out of jail?"

"Steve!" Kayla said, half-laughing, half-scolding him for his tone.

Meanwhile, Kim tugged on Shane's arm. "Steve is right though. Shane, you have to take the credit. That was the whole point. Because they couldn't admit that one man could stop Lawrence when the ISA couldn't, they would have to admit you're still working for them and that would mean they would have to drop the charges." She looked at him, her eyes shining brightly. "It's going to work, Shane. I know it is. That's how it's going to work."

From behind him, before Shane could respond, another voice spoke. "No, I don't think that's quite how it's going to work."


	530. Chapter 530

"No, I don't think that's quite how it's going to work."

From where he had been sitting, Steve had seen Tarrington enter the lounge before Shane and Kim realized the ISA Chief had entered. They spun around in surprise when he spoke.

"What are you doing here, Tarrington," Steve growled.

"Ahh, Mr. Johnson, as well-mannered as ever," Tarrington replied. A moment later, Carly entered. She crossed over to Bo, who wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder.

Neil asked, "What's going on? I thought Carly was in the lab."

"I asked her to join us," Tarrington said. "Though you are no longer needed, Dr. Curtis. Your cooperation with our security precautions are appreciated, but they have been lifted. My people are in the process of informing your staff that they may leave." When Neil just nodded, Tarrington gave him a long, pointed look until he got the message and said that he probably should supervise the staff.

Once he had left, Tarrington looked around the room. "I suppose asking Mr. Black and the younger Mr. Brady to also leave is pointless, even if this is ISA business."

"We've got as much right to be here as anyone else," Bo snarled. "You dragged my fiancee into this mess."

Tarrington chuckled. "Actually, you can thank former Captain Donovan for doing that," he said. "And I assume Mr. Black will insist on staying due to his noble efforts in attempting to bring Lawrence Alamain to justice - futile though they were."

"They were hardly futile," Shane shot back. "You can't deny what we did."

"Of course, we can, old chap," Tarrington said, sounding almost amused. "What do you think the point of the hospital lockdown was? While you and your associates were rather occupied here, our sources in the press were establishing the foundations for the media reports. In fact, the initial reports already are going out as we speak."

Steve could hear the self-satisfied tone in Tarrington's voice and, even before the man finished, Steve wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face.

"It's already established," Tarrington declared. "It's thanks to the work of the ISA, and especially the heroic efforts of Carly Manning, and Roman Brady, that Lawrence Alamain's plot was ended."

"That's bull-" Steve shouted, but he doubted Tarrington could hear him over the shouts and protests from the others in the room. Roman had to block Bo from charging the ISA Chief, and Steve felt Kayla press her hand down on his shoulder, most likely to keep him from rising and doing the same. But even as she did, she cried out that the ISA couldn't do that.

When the shouting died down, Steve glared at Tarrington. "So that was your plan? Have us do the dirty work and then lock us in here while you spread lies to the press? It won't work."

"It already has, Johnson." Tarrington sounded certain. "If you go to your brother with another story, it will just be viewed as another one of his attempts to drum up business. Nobody will believe it."

Steve had to admit there was probably some truth to that. Nobody had picked up Jack's earlier story about Cal Winters, and Steve suspected that the ISA would put pressure on the major newspapers and TV networks to do the same now.

"You're forgetting something," Roman said.

Tarrington raised an eyebrow. "Am I?"

"Yeah. . . . You need Carly and me to go along with your sham." Roman said, in a tone that made it clear that was not going to happen.

Steve felt Kayla's hand loosen on his shoulder and he heard her say, appreciatively, "That's right."

Across the room, next to Tarrington, Kim was looking at Roman with a soft smile. An arm wrapped tightly around her, Shane watched stoically. He did not say anything and his expression was unreadable.

Roman continued. "You've been feeding me lies ever since I returned to Salem and I'm done being played for a fool. It's going to be hard enough making it up to my family for being such a bastard for these past few months, but if you think for one damn minute that I'm going to stand up in front of the press and take credit for what Shane did, you've got another thing coming to you."

Carly nodded. "Same goes for me."

Tarrington did not seem concerned. "Oh, I would seriously reconsider that, Dr. Manning. Not only could I shut down your precious Immunology Lab with the stroke of a pen, but I'm sure you probably wouldn't want the state licensing board inquiring into how Katerina Von Leuschner managed to obtain a medical license under a false name." Tarrington turned to face Roman. "And Commander Brady, these delusions of yours are quite a new concern. Perhaps you require more observation than we previously believed. Your captivity could be having a delayed reaction."

"You bastard," Roman snarled. His face was growing scarlet, and Steve could tell his fury was growing as heated as Steve's was.

"Shall I continue?" Tarrington asked. "You seem so concerned about your extended family, but how would your sister feel if Mr. Johnson were quarantined for further examination? After all, he was heavily exposed to Lawrence Alamain's deadly toxin. And I hardly need to address Mr. Black's situation. We could-"

Roman lost it. He rushed toward Tarrington, his fist raised. But just before he reached his target, Shane stepped forward and blocked Roman's path.

"Don't," Shane said in a tone that Steve knew all too well.

_Don't you start this again, Donovan_, Steve thought. He started to rise to his feet to protest, but Shane glanced at him and their eyes met. Shane was giving Steve a warning and unmistakably was telling him to back off. _Don't do this_, Steve thought, then realized that Shane could tell what he was thinking when Shane gave a tiny shake of his head along with a look that said, _I have to._

Shane turned to Tarrington. "That's enough. You don't have to make any more threats." He looked down at Kim and said, in a resigned voice, "We tried, Kim, but it's over." Raising his head back up to face Tarrington, Shane said, "Congratulations, Tarrington, you win."


	531. Chapter 531

Kim could tell what Shane was going to say well before he stepped into Roman's path. She realized it when Shane said nothing while Tarrington was threatening Carly and Roman. She had glanced up at Shane and seen that he had retreated behind his expressionless mask. But then he had looked down at her and she had seen the resigned look in his eye. And as she heard Tarrington continue to outline how he would hurt the family, she understood.

She understood, but that did not make it any easier to accept.

Before Kim could protest, Roman charged forward and Shane blocked his path. Kim wanted to pull Shane back, but he turned back to her and their eyes met again. "We tried, Kim, but it's over."

She felt the tears sting her eyes, but she refused to cry. Instead, she let anger fill her and she glared at Tarrington. He was smirking as Shane gave him a defeated congratulations.

"Congratulations, Tarrington, you win."

Tarrington maintained his smug look. "Of course, I do, Shane. You should have known you could never paint the ISA into a corner. . . . Though I do have to commend you for devising an ingenious plan and, of course, what you have done. . . . Well, you have done the world a great service in stopping Lawrence Alamain, but we both know that the details must be kept from the public."

Kim's mouth fell open. The way Tarrington was speaking was like he was talking to any colleague about day-to-day business.

"How can you say that?" she cried, stepping forward. She stepped past Shane. "How can you just stand there and act like it's nothing that you're going to tell lies when the truth could save Shane from going to jail?"

Tarrington started to give her an indulgent smile, but she was not going to listen to his condescending garbage.

"Don't you even try to give me some excuse?" Kim said. "After everything Shane has done for you, don't tell me the ISA couldn't stand with him."

She fixed her gaze on Tarrington and did not even blink. After a moment of staring back at her, Tarrington pulled his head away and looked down. Then, appearing uncomfortable, he quickly looked past her, raising his eyes so that they focused just above her head. An instant later, Kim felt Shane's hands on her shoulders and realized he was standing directly behind her.

"Please, Kim. This isn't helping," he said.

Kim did not tear her eyes away from Tarrington. The ISA Chief looked back at her, but could not meet her eyes.

"I will do what I can with the State Department. . . ." Tarrington looked at Shane. "I will see if we can arrange for your release to occur after two years, not three. That would seem to be justified by your actions. However, that is the very best that I could possibly do. Even that will be tremendously difficult without setting off explosions in diplomatic channels. It is probably not the most prudent course."

"The 'most prudent' course?" That came from Steve, who sounded completely disbelieving. "What is this? Some Lady's Aid Society event? If not for Shane, hundreds of kids would be dead and you'd be trying to explain to the press why the ISA couldn't figure out a damn thing about it. And you make it sound like he should be grateful that Shane's not out there trying to bring you down."

Tarrington's smugness even extended to the way he chuckled. "You obviously fail to appreciate the intricacies of international diplomacy, Mr. Johnson, but that is hardly a surprise." He turned back to Shane. "So, now, Shane, I believe my actions demonstrate my utmost good faith. Three years shall become two."

Kim's stomach roiled. Between her anger and the revulsion that swept through her as she watched Tarrington, she feared she might get sick. She wondered if there was an ounce of humanity to be found in Tarrington's body; he made a year of Shane's life seem like nothing.

"Kim," Shane whispered in her ear, before she could say anything. She looked at the rest of her family, who mainly were watching, their faces showing equal shock, disgust and fury at Tarrington's manner.

"Are you serious?" Bo growled. "Shane, you can't-" But he fell silent when John waved a hand and shook his head.

"Very well," Tarrington said, sounding even more puffed-up and self-satisfied than ever. "I will take my leave now." He looked at Roman and then Carly. "Commander Brady, Dr. Manning, I do expect your full cooperation now that Shane and I have come to an . . . understanding."

Kim felt Shane's hands tense, so she looked up over her shoulder at him. He nodded and told Roman and Carly, "It's the best thing for everyone."

Roman grumbled, but nodded. Carly scowled, then said, "Fine."

"Good. There will be a press conference at 10 a.m. at the Salem Police Department Headquarters. I expect you to be there by 8 a.m., so we can discuss precisely what you will say." Tarrington turned back toward them. "I will speak with my State Department contacts immediately and will then place a call to the prosecutor." Without waiting for any response, Tarrington wheeled around and walked out of the lounge.

Once the door had closed behind him, Kim spun in Shane's arms to face him. She could see the pained resignation in his eyes, but she could also tell that he did not have any doubts about his decision.

In her mind, she heard his words again.

_"It's over."_

"You don't have to do this?" she said.

From across the room, she heard Kayla. "That's right, Shane. After everything you did, if we all came forward, they would have to believe us."

Shane looked away and gave Kayla a small smile. "You would think that, Kay, but it didn't happen when you tried to tell the world what happened with Cal Winters." Kim kept watching him as he turned his head back to her. He squeezed her shoulders again and looked into her eyes. "I meant what I said before. I won't take any more risks with my life or the lives of the people we love. You were right about my trying to stop Lawrence. It was suicidal and I'm lucky to even be here right now. I should have faced the reality that losing some time with you and the children is better than losing every remaining moment I could have."

Kim could hear the growing emotion in his voice and she choked a bit on her words as she said, "There was nothing wrong with wanting to be with your family. There still isn't."

"There is when you might never be with them again - and when you nearly make it so your closest friends might never be with their families either. John and Steve could have both been killed. I know now that there was nothing I could have done to keep them from trying to help me too, so I was putting their lives at risk as well." Shane shook his head. "I'm not going to put anybody else at risk for me." Shane looked down and swallowed. In a low voice, he said, "You heard Tarrington. Everything he said he could do - everything. . . . He means it. The ISA could do that to you. They can destroy all of our families and, since I don't have any proof about stopping Lawrence, at this point, I have to accept reality. It's better to go away for two years and make sure nobody else gets hurt."

"Maybe you should let us be the judge of what's best for us, Donovan," Steve said. "Right, John?"

Kim looked at John who nodded. "None of us will blame you for fighting back - no matter what Tarrington and the ISA try to do to us."

"You have more important priorities," Shane replied. Then, he then turned to Steve and Kayla and said, "So does Steve."

Kayla blushed slightly, probably wondering if the rest of the family had guessed what Shane meant, but Kim did not have a chance to dwell on her sister.

"So do I," Shane said. Their eyes met again and Kim could see the pained certainty in Shane's eyes. "Kim, let's go home so we can be with our children."

She knew the answer, but she had to ask the question once more. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I am," Shane said. "When we go home, I'll call Mickey and work out the details of the guilty plea. Then we'll tell Eve and Andrew."

Kim knew there was no point in arguing further. Shane's mind was made up. She looked around the room at her family and could see the same bitter frustration in their faces that she knew was on her own. John had an arm around Isabella and he gave Kim a sad smile.

Bo looked like he wanted to break something; he was muttering in a low voice to Carly, who was whispering furiously back at him. Kim suspected Carly was trying to stop him from chasing Tarrington down.

Steve and Kayla held each other. Kayla had an arm around Steve's waist and his good arm rested on her shoulder. There was a grim expression in Steve's eye and he was looking at Shane. Kim glanced up and saw Shane staring back and then give a curt shake of his head. Steve reacted with a frustrated grimace before he looked away.

Meanwhile, Kayla looked on, stricken, with a look on her face that Kim had seen so often before.

_You can't fix this, Kay_, Kim thought. _None of us can._ But her heart swelled to see the sadness and the love in her sister's eyes. Kim knew she would have to rely on Kayla a lot in the next few years.

"Shane. . . ." Roman's hesitant voice broke into Kim's thoughts, and she looked to her right. Roman had stepped forward and he held his hand out. "I know this is far too little too late. . . ."

Shane shook his head. "Roman, you don't have-"

"Yes, I do," Roman insisted. "Look, I've been a complete horse's ass ever since I've come back. To you, to Steve, and. . . yes, to John, too." He glanced at Steve and John as he said that before looking back at Shane. "Everyone was telling me what I should've seen for myself, but I was too bitter and angry. And . . . I'm sorry. If I hadn't been so damn selfish, maybe we could have found another way."

"There's nothing you could've done, Roman," Shane said. Before Roman could protest, he added quickly, "But I appreciate it." He clasped Roman's hand and shook it. "Thank you."

Kim felt her eye sting again, but this time she could not stop the tears from flowing.

Roman looked Shane in the eyes. "You understand something. Don't you worry about Kimmie or the kids. We're going to take good care of them."

Kim felt Shane shudder slightly and his arm tightened around her, but she doubted anyone else in the room could detect how deeply those words cut into him. He merely nodded at Roman, then looked down at Kim, and softly said, "It's time, darling. Let's go home."


	532. Chapter 532

Kayla was seething. A few minutes ago, she had been so happy for Kim and Shane. It had seemed like everything Shane had planned had worked, and soon the charges would be dropped. In that moment, Kayla had seen the same look in Shane's eyes that she had seen that day in the hospital when he had first held Jeannie after learning she was his daughter.

Then Tarrington had walked in. At first, Kayla had been most concerned about making sure Steve did not do anything crazy. There were a few moments when she had feared he would try to attack Tarrington and, honestly, she would have liked to join him. But she also knew that they couldn't risk trouble with the ISA right now. And then despite everyone's protests, Shane had made it clear that his mind was made up. And as Kayla had stood there, she had been forced to watch Kim's heart break.

It was so wrong, Kayla thought. Kim and Shane had been through so much. They did not deserve this.

"You have more important priorities," Shane was saying to John. Then he turned to Kayla and Steve and his eyes met hers. Kayla could see the pain in them, but she also could see that he was determined. In his mind, this was the right decision. "So does Steve," he said.

Kayla had to look away as her face flushed. Only Shane, Kim, and Steve actually knew about her pregnancy, but at this point, that was the least of her worries. If anything, it angered her a little bit that Shane was using her family as an excuse to give up his. In any case, nobody seemed to pay any attention; everyone was too focused on Shane.

Studying him, it hit her how much had changed in the past few months. Less than six months earlier, she and Shane had been - how had Steve put it - "practically engaged." They had both been willing to settle for just a small amount of happiness amidst the enormous pain that had engulfed their lives.

Now, Kayla had her life back and could only envision her happiness continuing. She and Steve were about to become parents again. Six months ago, that thought was unimaginable.

It was all because of what Shane had done. He had put everything on the line so she and Steve could have their lives back, and it was wrong that Shane and Kim were going to suffer because of it.

Her heart aching for her sister and her family, Kayla had looked at Kim. The pain was visible in her face, but, behind her tears, her eyes reflected a grim resignation. Kim had accepted Shane's decision. Kayla could read her sister well, and could tell that Kim was determined to hold it together.

Roman and Shane had shaken hands, but Kayla kept watching Kim as she looked up at Shane. He whispered something to her, and Kim nodded back.

Kim turned to the rest of them and said, "We're going to go."

Kayla could feel the tears filling her own eyes. Her sister was ever the survivor. Unable to stop herself, Kayla rushed forward. Kim stepped away from Shane and her arms enveloped Kayla in a tight embrace.

"You'll get through this, Kimmie," Kayla said, the tears now running down her cheeks. "We'll be right here for you."

Kim held fast. "I know, Kay," she answered. "I'll get through this, and I know I can count on you." Kim pulled away and sniffed back some tears. Sounding almost apologetic, she said, "Now. . . . We need to go see the children."

Kayla gave her sister and then Shane a sad, regretful smile. She knew how hard it was going to be for them to tell Andrew about the decision and, even more, how hard it was to say goodbye to your child for several years. She thought of the day she had given up Stephanie while in prison for Marina's murder. It had nearly killed her to give that baby to Steve, knowing it could be years before she could hold her again. She put that thought behind her and tried to come up with something to say. Unable to think of anything else, Kayla said the only comforting thing she could, the one thought that she had held onto in that prison cell.

"Your children love you, and they will keep loving you, no matter what."

Shane responded by giving her a small nod, but he didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arm back around Kim and led her out of the staff lounge.

When the door closed behind them, Bo cursed and slammed his fist down on the counter holding the coffee set-up. Styrofoam cups went flying all over the floor. Carly, John, and Isabella tried to calm him.

"It's not right," Bo growled. "This is bull-"

Roman kicked at a few of the cups. He was scowling. "This may be the first time we agree on anything since I got back, little brother."

"Don't encourage him," Kayla snapped at Roman. She spun around toward her younger brother. "Bo. . . you blowing your top isn't helping any." Her own anger had returned and she probably wanted to break something just as much as Bo, but they had to remain calm. Bo's eyes met hers and he shook his head angrily, but seemed to regain control.

"It's just not right."

"Since when has anything about the ISA been right," Steve muttered. Kayla turned quickly toward him. He had been silent for a long time and she suddenly worried that he might react as angrily as Bo. But Steve seemed surprisingly calm. "But Kayla's right," Steve said. "We're not going to do Shane one lick of good if we're sitting here losing our cool."

There was something in Steve's tone that made Kayla pause. The others must have heard it too. Everyone fell silent.

John spoke first. With a raised eyebrow, he asked, "And how exactly do you plan on doing Shane any good?"

"Let's just say I think I have an idea." As Steve spoke, Kayla could see a gleam in Steve's eye.

Feeling a nervous flutter in her stomach, Kayla asked, "What are you thinking?"

Steve's lips started to form a sly grin that Kayla knew well. "Just a little way to throw a monkeywrench into that bastard Tarrington's plans," he said. Steve looked at Roman.

"But it's going to need your help, Commander. . . and your's," he said, switching his attention to Carly. When they both nodded, making it clear that they were willing to take part, Steve paused for a moment. He seemed to fall deep into thought, before he continued. "And Jack. We're going to need Jack."

Kayla looked at Steve. He seemed so confident and certain. _He will do anything to make this right_. Kayla's own desire to help her sister and Shane stopped any thoughts that might have made another person hesitate. But she had to wonder at involving Jack after everything he had done to cause this mess. "Jack?" she asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, baby," he said. "We're all in this together. Shane's not going down until we've done everything we can to help him."

John stepped forward. "So what can I do?"

"You can go find Jack," Steve said. Then he stopped, thought for a second, and broke into a wide, laughing grin. "And, while you're at it, I have one more little thing I want you to do."


	533. Chapter 533

Shane set the phone down and looked across the desk at Kim. She stared back at him anxiously.

"What did he say?" she asked.

Realizing that his end of the telephone conversation had mostly been little more than "I see,""Right," and "Call me as soon as you know," Shane filled Kim on his conversation with Mickey Horton.

"Mickey hasn't heard from the Louis Pasqua yet," Shane said. "He's the U.S. Attorney," he added, then realized from Kim's scowl that she already knew that. "Sorry, of course you know who Pasqua is. Anyway, Mickey knows what Tarrington offered, so he'll push for that deal." He hesitated. "I don't know when we'll know anything for sure, but Mickey said he'd call back as soon as he talks to Pasqua."

Kim said nothing, but he could see in her eyes her still-simmering anger and her growing pain. He tried to think of something comforting to say, but nothing came to mind.

"I know you're decided," Kim said. "And you know I support you, Shane. . . ."

"But? I know there's a 'but' coming." He said the words in a way that told her he meant it as a joke, but neither of them laughed.

Kim stood up from her chair and walked around the desk. Shane watched her slow movements, noting how she briefly hesitated when she looked up at the mantle behind his desk and the row of family photographs there. With a sad smile, Kim surveyed the pictures before lowering her eyes toward Shane. "But are you absolutely sure there's nothing else you can do?"

He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, then pulled her toward him. Kim pressed her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. Shane held her tightly as he racked his brain, trying to find any other option.

"The only options are to ask the soldiers to testify or claim the ISA is lying about what happened with Lawrence," he explained. "Those soldiers saved my life; I can't ask them to risk jail by coming forward."

"Then what about using Jack and the press?" Kim asked.

Shane sighed. "You heard Tarrington. . . . The ISA could lock John, Steve and Roman away. They could destroy Carly's career."

"They'd all risk that for you," Kim said. "They wouldn't let Tarrington's threats stop them if you asked."

She was right.

"I know. . . ." Shane knew he had already explained, but he said it again. "But that's also why I can't ask. I can't let them ruin their lives on some wild gamble that might not even work. . . . I know it's not fair, but this is the best option."

As he held her, Shane felt his anger rising. He silently cursed Tarrington and the ISA, and then, for good measure, Fate, for bringing him and Kim back together, only to tear them apart again.

He reminded himself that it was just two years. After that, they would be together with their children. He tried to tell himself that two years sounded a lot longer than it was. He had been on missions nearly as long as that.

A knock on the door caused Kim to pull away. She looked at him, while Shane called out for whoever was knocking to come in. An instant later, the office door opened and Eve rushed in.

"I raced back from Chicago as soon as I heard," she said, her words running together. "Is it true about Andrew's school? Is everyone really okay."

Kim assured her that Andrew was fine and playing in the garden. Eve let out a relieved breath. "Thank God," she said. "I was so worried. They're not saying much on the news, except that the ISA stopped a terrorist attack."

With a snort, Kim stepped away from Shane. She didn't say anything, but just shook her head in disbelief. Eve frowned slightly and gave Shane a questioning look.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he told Eve. He did not want to try to explain what had happened with Lawrence or explain to Eve about what had followed with Tarrington. What was important was to discuss the future with her. Shane looked at Kim, who gave him a slight nod. Taking a deep breath, Shane said, "There's something we need to discuss with you and Andrew."

Eve's frown deepened. In a low voice, she said, "I don't like the sound of that."

"Believe me, neither do we," Kim muttered. She glanced at Shane. "Maybe you should tell Eve now, before we tell Andrew."

Shane was not sure how Eve would take it, so he decided to anticipate the worse. He braced himself for the explosion as he said, "The Government made a new offer . . . and . . ."

"And?" Eve's eyes narrowed.

"And I've decided to take it," Shane said. He decided against explaining the circumstances of the offer, but he told her the basics.

Eve scowled. "Do you believe them? I mean, do you believe they'll keep their promise?"

Shane was surprised by the question. He had not questioned the legitimacy of the offer despite Tarrington's prior manipulations, but he doubted the U.S. Attorney would go along with a lie. He saw that Kim was watching him with interest; obviously she wanted to know if he believed Tarrington.

"I think it's legitimate," Shane said. "But I'll make sure Mickey dots every 'i' and crosses every 't' to make sure." He was surprised that Eve was handling the news so calmly. "It's going to be very hard on your brother, so I'm really hoping you'll stay in Salem and be here for him-"

"And for Kim and Jeannie, too," Eve said. She looked at Kim. "I know we've had our problems in the past, Kimberly, but you know I'll do whatever I can to help while Dad's gone."

Kim smiled appreciatively as she walked around the desk. She held out her arms and gave Eve a hug. "Thank you, Evie."

Shane had to smile a little as he watched Kim and Eve. It had taken them a long time to overcome their conflicts, but seeing them together, he believed they would be able to provide support for one another in the coming months.

Still with an arm around Kim, Eve turned in Shane's direction. "I guess you haven't told Andrew yet?"

Shane felt his smile falter. No, they had not talked to Andrew. Would he understand? They had talked with him about the possibility of Shane going to prison, but would the reality of it actually happening cause Andrew to get angry again? Would he accuse Shane of lying once more?

With a sigh, Shane said, "I guess we'd better get on with that."

Eve volunteered to get Andrew and meet them in the library. As she disappeared, Kim studied Shane for a moment.

"He's a child and it will be hard for him to understand, but he loves you, Shane," she said. It was like she could read his mind. "No matter what he says, you need to remember that."

Shane nodded as she held out a hand. Together, they slowly walked together to the library, where they were met by Andrew and Eve, who was carrying Jeannie. Once inside, Eve set the toddler down on the ground. While Andrew took a seat on the couch, Jeannie toddled over to where her favorite stuffed bunny was lying. She picked up the pink toy, carried it over to Shane, and held it up for him.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Shane said, trying to keep his voice from breaking. He took the toy from his daughter, while Kim lifted Jeannie up and took a seat on the couch next to Andrew.

With Jeannie on her lap and an arm around Andrew, Kim said, "Your father has something important he needs to tell you."

_God, this is bloody hard, _Shane thought as he saw Andrew frown almost exactly like Eve had earlier. Before Shane could figure out the right words, the boy asked, "Are you going away, Daddy?"

Shane and Kim exchanged a quick look as he tried to recover from the surprise. But with Andrew broaching the subject, it suddenly seemed easier to speak.

Shane crouched down so he was directly in front of Andrew. "Do you remember when Mommy and Aunt Kayla were gone and I explained that I would be going away for awhile?"

"And then we would go to England?" Andrew asked.

"That's right," Kim said. "Daddy's going to go away and when he comes back, we're all going to move to England."

Andrew seemed to think for a moment. It was a surprise, but he seemed to be taking it well.

Shane took advantage of the silence to say, "This may be hard for you to understand, Sport, but one of the things I have to do is say that I'm guilty of committing some crimes. You know how some of the kids at school said I'm a traitor. . . . Well, when I plead guilty, I'll be agreeing with them."

"But you're not a traitor," Andrew said, his voice insistent. "Uncle Steve said you're a hero because you rescued him."

Shane glanced at Kim, who had a mournful expression on her face. "I know what Uncle Steve said. . . ." Shane tried to figure out how to explain. "But it's like I told you . . . when I decided to rescue Uncle Steve, I knew there might be some people who thought I was doing a bad thing. Now I need to accept that, and it means that a lot more people will say I'm a traitor."

"It doesn't matter," Eve said from where she was standing. "Let them say what they want. We know the truth, don't we?" After a pause, she added, "We know Daddy did the right thing in helping Uncle Steve, don't we, Andrew?"

Andrew finally nodded. Then he looked back at Shane. "Will you be here for Christmas, Daddy?"

Shane sighed and shook his head. "I don't think so, Sport. I don't know when exactly I'll be going, but it will probably be before Christmas."

Seeing the disappointment on Andrew's face, Shane felt his chest tighten.Would there ever come a time when he didn't let his children down?

"Andrew, honey. . . ." Kim squeezed the arm that she had wrapped around Andrew's shoulders. "I know you'd like Daddy to be here for Christmas, but this means that when he gets home, it'll be right before Christmas. So we'll be able to have a really big Christmas when Daddy comes back."

"Yeah, Sport. . . ." Shane reached out and ruffled a little of Andrew's hair. "It won't be that long. Before you know it, we'll be back in England at Donovan Manor."

"And I'm not going anywhere," Kim said softly.

Shane smiled softly. "That's right. Mommy's going to be right here."

He looked into Kim's moist eyes. She swallowed tightly as their eyes met then reached out her hand and brushed the side of his cheek. She forced a small smile to her face and nodded. "I'll be right here."

Shane took her hand in his and kissed it. He had no doubts, but he was awed by the love and the devotion in her eyes. He tried to speak, but couldn't. He finally managed to mouth the words, "Thank you."

An instant later, the telephone rang. Not wanting to pull away from Kim, Shane let Eve answer. After a moment, she lowered it and nervously said, "It's Mickey Horton."

Shane found it hard to pull his eyes away from Kim's, but he forced himself to stand and take the phone from Eve. He listened as Mickey reported on his call with Lewis Pasqua and their agreement.

"Shane?" Mickey asked. "Do you understand?"

From where he stood, Shane glanced first at Eve, who was staring up at him expectantly. Turning, he looked to the couch. Kim and Andrew were both watching him with similar anxious expressions. In Kim's lap, Jeannie seemed oblivious to the tension that everyone else was feeling. She was gazing intently at the cameo broach pinned to Kim's blouse and reached out her little fingers to the carved face, giggling as she brushed the stone.

He tried to remind himself again that two years wasn't much longer than some ISA missions, but that did not stop the agony of the thought of being apart from his family.

"Shane?" Mickey repeated.

Shane forced himself to take a deep, steadying breath before responding. "Yes, Mickey, I understand." He spoke more for Kim's benefit than for his own. "We'll meet you tomorrow, sign the documents, and then go to the court. And they'll take me into custody immediately afterward."

Kim let out a small gasp. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. "Tomorrow," she said, her voice little more than a soft breath.

_Tomorrow_. Shane looked again at his children and then at Kim. Tonight would be their last night together for the next two years.


	534. Chapter 534

"You sure about this?" Kayla asked. Her arms were wrapped around Steve's waist and his good arm was resting across her shoulders. She had tried to get him to rest, but he was too amped up even to sit.

Steve studied the living room. Perched on the edge of her chair, Carly was explaining the toxin to Jennifer and Jack, who were sitting on a couch, comparing notes, and making suggestions about her statement.

"I'm sure," Steve said.

They had gathered at Tom and Alice Horton's house. That had been Steve's idea. He suspected the ISA would be watching each of their homes, so he suggested they secretly gather at the Hortons'. It was easy enough to justify Jennifer and Jack spending time at her grandparents, and Bo and Carly were effectively family. Steve and Kayla had gone to Roman's and Marlena's from the hospital and had then snuck around the back to the door to the Horton kitchen. Currently, Marlena was home alone, pretending that Steve and Kayla were dozing in a guest room, while she waited for Roman to come back from working the refinery crime scene.

_Now if only Roman, John, and Bo would just get back here unnoticed. _Actually, Steve had few doubts about Roman. It was John and Bo that had the tougher task.

"You don't think they ran into trouble?" Kayla asked. "If the ISA suspects. . . ."

Steve shook his head. "We've got to assume the ISA suspects something, but we can't worry. Your brothers can take care of themselves."

Alice Horton came through the kitchen door carrying a tray of doughnuts. "I figured all this secret planning might have made you hungry." She stopped in front of Steve and he lifted his arm off of Kayla and picked up a doughnut. They were still warm.

"Thanks, Mrs. H," he said.

Kayla smiled and passed on a doughnut. "I'll take a bite of his," she said.

"Not on your life, baby," Steve teased. "I know marriage is all about sharing, but a man's got to draw a line somewhere." He raised the doughnut. "And this is-"

Kayla's head darted forward. She chomped down on the doughnut.

"Hey!"

She pulled away, leaving Steve with about two thirds of the original pastry. He looked at it in disbelief, then raised his head to his wife. Kayla took a nibble from the remnants of her stolen piece and gave him a coy smile. "I'm sorry. Were you saying something?" She ignored Steve's mock snarl, turned to Alice, and smiled softly. "It's delicious. . . . Just you didn't have to. We're already burdening you and Doctor Horton-"

"Hush," Alice said. "If you can do something to fix this travesty then Tom and I'll do whatever we can. The doughnuts are nothing." She paused, then added, "Speaking of Tom. He was watching out the kitchen window and said something about Roman's car pulling up."

Steve jerked forward, even as Kayla seemed to try to hold him still. "Steve!"

But he was too anxious. Roman's part was critical. Without him, Steve's plan would fail. Steve was almost to the kitchen door when it opened and Roman and Tom Horton entered the living room.

"Did you get it?" Steve asked.

Roman stopped and then broke into a grin as he pulled the videotape out of his pocket. "They didn't even realize it was there. Ol' Tarrington doesn't have a clue we've got it."

Steve felt a wave of relief. "Great," he said. Glancing at Kayla, he gave her his best reassuring smile. "See, baby, everything's going exactly according to plan. Now that we've got big brother on our side, nothing can stop us."

Still carrying the tape, Roman headed for the television. For the first time, Steve realized that Roman also was carrying a video camera.

"I grabbed this from the house," Roman said. He began hooking up the camera to the TV.

Carly, Jack, and Jennifer all sat up and watched him. Kayla put an arm around Steve as she too watched her brother. When Roman finished setting everything up, he glanced over his shoulder.

"I already rewinded it, so it's ready to go." He pressed play as he added, "Let's see what we've got."

Steve watched he snowy image on the screen switch to the room beneath the refinery. From the camera's fixed point, he could see the gas chamber and, next to it, the area where he had faced off with Lawrence. At the moment, though, the room was empty.

"Hmm. . . . Must have rewound too far," Roman said. "Let me fast-forward it." He punched a button and watched the screen at high-speed until some figures finally entered the screen. He punched the button again and it switched back to normal speed. They could see that Lawrence and some of his men had placed Shane inside the gas chamber. Lawrence was now taunting Shane.

Steve turned away as they exchanged words. He did not have to watch the video; he had been there. Instead, he left Kayla with the others watching the recording and walked toward the kitchen.

_Where are John and Bo_? Steve asked himself. He hoped they had not run into trouble with the ISA, but he told himself that the ISA had no reason to do anything to John and Bo right now. Shane had given Tarrington what he wanted and that smug SOB probably figured he was in total control now. Steve was looking forward to proving otherwise.

He was still standing there when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. Jerking his head around, he saw Alice Horton immediately behind him.

"Would you give me a hand in the kitchen, Steven?" she asked.

Steve glanced toward the TV and saw that everyone else was still watching the screen with rapt attention. On the screen, Lawrence was revealing his plan for the school and giving Steve his "choice" of button to push.

Alice tugged Steve's hand. "Come into the kitchen."

Steve shrugged and followed Alice out of the room into the kitchen. "I doubt you really need my help with more donuts, Mrs. Horton, and with my arm in this sling, I can't do much cleaning."

"Phooey," Alice snapped. "I just figured you didn't need to see all that again."

Steve shook his head. "I'm a big boy, Mrs. Horton."

With a sigh, Alice nodded. "I know you are. . . . But you saw something today that I don't think a lot of men ever see."

"And what's that?"

Alice looked him over carefully. "Pure evil, Steven. I used to think there wasn't such a thing. I used to think there was good in every man, but the last ten years . . . I've seen a lot of evil things. Jake Kositchek, the DiMeras, . . . and Lawrence Alamain. That man was evil."

"Well he's gone now," Steve pointed out. "Score one for the good guys."

Alice nodded. "True, but you saw that evil firsthand today and sometimes I worry that if we see evil like that too much, it won't seem so evil any more."

"So we don't get so comfortable with it?" Steve said.

"Something like that," Alice replied. "Better to focus on the good and-"

Her words were cut off by the living room door bursting open. Steve spun around and saw Kayla in the doorway. Her eyes were dark and she stared at him without saying a word.

"Sweetness, what is it?"

Kayla's lip quivered and she swallowed a few times. She shook her head abruptly. "I can't." Then she rushed to the back door, jerked it open, and ran outside.

Completely bewildered, Steve looked through the door into the living room. The video was still playing and nobody had seemed to notice Kayla had rushed out. Steve looked at Alice, who looked back at him with a confused expression that probably mirrored the look on his own face.

Recovering slightly, Steve bolted through the still-open door. He ran into the darkness, ignoring the cold December air.

"Kayla," he called out before he spotted her standing next to a hedge that ran along the back border of the Horton's backyard. Slowing down, he approached her and repeated, "Kayla?"

She was breathing hard, but as he watched her, she steadied her breaths. "I . . . I'll be okay," she finally said.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

Kayla turned suddenly, "What happened? What happened is that I just watched my husband. . . my husband, the father of my daughter and our unborn child - I just watched him open a door and expose himself to a lethal toxin."

_Damn. _Steve had not had a chance to tell Kayla about the details of what happened in Lawrence's hideout earlier. He tried to think of something to say. "You knew I was exposed to the toxin."

"Exposed, yes," Kayla shot back. "I didn't know you dragged Lawrence to the gas chamber, opened the door, and stepped inside."

"Kay-"

"No." She cut him off. After taking another long breath, she said in a more controlled voice, "I'm not going to yell at you or be angry. I know who you are, Steve, and I know I can't change that. . . ." She turned away from him and looked up at the stars, which were just becoming visible overhead. "I know you didn't have any other options and Shane would have died if you didn't do it. . . . But I can't help how I feel, and it terrifies me. I'm terrified that you're going to go off one day and do something ridiculously heroic and I'm going to be have to sit in St. Luke's listening to your eulogy again."

Steve had no idea what to say.

"I know it was something you had to do," Kayla said, sounding almost as if she was trying to convince herself. "Shane's alive because you did."

He stepped toward her and she must have sensed him, because she looked up at him. The light from the house reflected off the tears welling in her eyes.

"What I did, Sweetness, is make sure your sister didn't lose the man she loves," Steve said. "And I made sure Andrew and Jeannie didn't lose their papa. . . . It's not really that much different than what Shane did for me, first by pulling my sorry ass out of Lawrence's camp and then by jumping in front of Cal Winters' bullet."

Kayla sniffed. "So things came full circle today?"

"In a way, I guess," Steve replied. Then he took a deep breath. "I did what I thought I had to. I don't know how to change, Kayla. A lot of what happened that you just saw was instinct. There wasn't a lot of time to run through a bunch of plans. I had an idea and I rolled the dice. I know that's hard for you to hear, but it's what any of us would've done in the same situation."

He motioned back to the house.

"It's what we're all doing here. . . . You heard Tarrington." He stepped toward her again and reached for her hand with his good one. She seemed to begin to pull away, but stayed still. Steve squeezed her hand tightly. "We all know what could happen if this fails. The ISA could make all of our lives a living hell if this doesn't work, but that's not stopping us. I doubt any of us even hesitated - well, Jack . . . maybe he did - but not any of the rest of us." Steve had to grin slightly as he said softly, "Not you either. And you didn't hesitate when Cal Winters tried to shoot Andrew. So I think if you'd been in that room with Alamain and you thought stepping into that thing gave you a better chance of getting him to tell you where the antidote was . . . well, I think you'd have been right next to me in opening the door."

A tear slipped down Kayla's cheek. "It still scares me."

"I know it does, but I love you and Stephanie more than anything," Steve said. "So just remember that you're going to have to fight real hard to get rid of me."

"Dang. . . so does that mean we're gonna have to keep seeing that ugly mug at Christmas and Easter, Kay?"

Steve jumped at the sound of Bo's voice. Kayla broke into a little giggle and even Steve had to roll his eye. He made a point of scowling, when he turned around to face Bo, who was standing, arms-crossed, just inside the gate that led from Roman and Marlena's house. A little behind him was John, who seemed to be struggling not to smirk.

"Very funny, Beauregard," Steve said, though his tone was light. "Did you-"

Before he finished, Bo stepped to his side, revealing the short woman behind him.

Rachel Knight did not seem to appreciate Bo's and John's humor. She glared at Steve.

"Well what do we have here?" Steve said. He chuckled at her obvious discomfort and then looked at John. "You didn't have any trouble, did you?"

John shook his head. "Not at all. Once I mentioned how some certain pictures might find their way to the wire services, the lady was happy to join us."

"She don't look so happy to me," Bo muttered.

"I'm perfectly capable of speaking for myself," Rachel snapped. She continued to glare at Steve, only stopping momentarily to scowl at Kayla. "So what do you want from me?"

Chuckling some more, Steve wrapped an arm around Kayla's shoulders and grinned. "Do you remember when you first came by our apartment. You said you wanted to help Shane if you could. Well, here's your chance and, whether it's kicking and screaming or smiling happily, you're going to do exactly what we tell you."


	535. Chapter 535

"Daddy. . . ."

At Andrew's hesitant voice, Shane looked up from the story he had been reading to the boy. His head poking over the covers of his bed, Andrew was looking up with his big, dark eyes.

Setting the book down, Shane forced a small smile to his face. He had thought that reading a bedtime story might maintain a semblance of normalcy, but it was pretty clear that the story was the last thing on Andrew's mind.

"You have something you want to ask?"

Andrew frowned a little, then shook his head. "Not a question."

"So something you want to say?" Shane asked.

This time Andrew nodded. Shane waited patiently for Andrew to work out what to say.

"If any of the kids at school say you're a traitor, I'm gonna to tell them they're lying," Andrew said, his tone shifting from soft to defiant. "I'm gonna tell them you're a hero and you did the right thing to save Uncle Steve."

Shane started to answer, but his words caught in the back of his throat.

"And don't worry 'bout Mommy, Evie, and Jeannie." Andrew now gave Shane a very solemn look. "I'll protect them."

Fighting back the tears that stung at his eyes, Shane pulled Andrew into a tight embrace. He held the boy close, unable to speak for what felt like a long time before he finally said, "Now you listen to me, young man. . . . Your mother and Eve are adults who can look after themselves, and your uncles will be around to help. So your job while I'm gone is to mind your mother, go to school, and take your riding lessons. You hear me?"

He pulled back and looked down at Andrew, who nodded slowly and then said, "I'm going to miss you, Daddy."

"I know, Sport. . . . I'm. . . ." Shane pulled Andrew close again and said, "I'm going to miss you so much, Andrew."

From behind him, he heard Kim's voice. She sounded reluctant to interrupt as she called his name. "Shane?"

Letting go of Andrew, Shane looked over his shoulder at the door.

Kim looked back at him apologetically. "Mickey Horton is on the phone. He says he needs to speak with you right away."

Shane knew he had to take the call, but he hesitated. He did not want to leave Andrew.

"You take the call," Kim said, giving Shane a reassuring smile. She approached the bed and motioned to the book that Shane had set down. "I'll bet there is still some of this story to read tonight."

Changing places with Kim, Shane stood up and walked to the door. Kim was already finding the spot in the story where Shane had left off before he had reached the corridor. Deciding it would be best to take the call downstairs, he went down to the library and picked up the phone.

"Mickey?"

Mickey Horton sounded almost startled. "Shane, oh, I'm sorry. I was starting to wonder if Kim forgot I was on the phone."

"No," Shane said. "I was saying goodnight" _- goodbye _- "to Andrew just now and had to come downstairs."

"It's okay. Look, I just want to let you know there's been a slight change of plans for tomorrow. We need to be at the Salem P.D. headquarters at 9:45."

Shane thought that sounded odd. Why would they meet with the Assistant U.S. Attorney at the police station? Then it dawned on him. The ISA press conference was at 10 a.m. Tarrington probably wanted to keep an eye on Shane and make sure the plea deal went as planned. In fact, Tarrington probably would take advantage of the press conference to announce the deal.

"Shane, do you have that? Tomorrow at 9:45?"

The question interrupted Shane's thoughts and he replied, "Yes, Mickey. 9:45 a.m. at the police station." Hanging up, he looked at the clock on the table and saw that it was nearly 9 p.m.

_Only 12 hours left._

Mickey had already explained that once Shane signed the paperwork with the AUSA, they would go to the Federal Courthouse where the plea would be entered formally, sentence would be pronounced, and then Shane would be remanded to the custody of the federal marshals. By this time the next night, Shane would be in a cell, possibly the one where he would stay for the next two years.

He reminded himself that he had been a prisoner before. Jericho had locked him up for a few months. It had not been close to two years, but back then he had no idea if he would manage to escape. He had spent that time wondering if he would ever see Kim or his children again.

_This time, I know I will._

That would give him the strength to get through this. As he finished that thought, he realized he was not alone in the library. Turning to the door, he saw that Kim had followed him downstairs.

"Andrew?"

"Asleep," she said, walking toward him. "I think he was already pretty wrung out emotionally. He fell asleep almost as soon as I started reading."

Shane nodded. "It's hard for him. He told me not to worry, because he'll protect you and his sisters."

Kim smiled softly, but there was a little edge to her voice. "He takes after his dad that way. . . always wanting to protect everybody else."

"Kim-"

"I know." She sighed. She was now directly in front of him and reached out to take his hand. In a soft voice, she said, "It's hard for me too. And I think I know how you feel. I keep thinking about that night before I was sentenced for Emma's murder. I know it's not exactly the same. I mean, I didn't know exactly how long I'd been gone and it also wasn't like I had to say goodbye to the children. . . ."

Shane understood what she meant. When Kim had been convicted of killing Emma, Andrew was still missing.

"Still, I remember that fear of being locked up, away from everyone I knew and loved." Kim looked up at him and then lifted a hand to his cheek. "And I also remember what you gave me that night . . . how you showed me your love, and how it gave me so much strength, Shane."

Shane closed his eyes as she stroked his cheek. He remembered that night and how they had come together, reuniting finally after they had been driven apart by the pain and frustration of being unable to fight through the walls they had both kept putting up.

_But we don't have those walls now_, he told himself.

"You don't have to show me anything, Kim." He opened his eyes. "And I should make sure I've taken care of things for while I'm gone. There's a lot to figure out."

Kim shook her head. "No, there's not. You don't need to worry about me or the children," she said. "We'll manage just fine, not to mention I've got two brothers and Steve and Neil and a large part of Salem who'll do just about anything to make sure your family is okay."

"But there are the finances," he said. "Who's going to pay the mortgage? And the staff need paying. How will you access the bank accounts? You don't even know the combination of the safe, do you?" He started to pull her toward the wall where the safe was hidden. "Here, let me show you."

Kim jerked her hand free. "Stop it, Shane." Her eyes bore into him. "In the morning, before we go to the police station, we can have Mickey prepare a power of attorney. If there are other things we need, we'll deal with them. I survived with Andrew and Eve when you were gone before. I can take care of things."

Shane knew Kim was capable of caring for the children without him. That wasn't the point. "Kim," he started to protest, wanting to explain, but she cut him off.

"I know." She stepped toward him again and took his hand once more. "I love that you want to protect us and I'm sure you think, if you sit here all night, you'll plan for every possible thing that might happen in the next two years." She tilted her head and gave him a sad little smile. "But it'll be okay if you don't. I'll be just fine. Your children will be just fine."

Kim curled her hand inside his. Holding it to her breast, she turned in a semi-circle so that her back was to Shane and his arm was wrapped around her. She rested her head against Shane's chest.

In an almost-whisper, she said, "You need this night, Shane. . . ."

Her perfume - a heady mix of rose and spices that she had purchased during their honeymoon in Paris - seemed to make the room spin.

"We need this night," she whispered.

She pressed closer to him. Swaying slowly against him, she raised her free hand and grasped the top of his head. Kim looked up and their eyes met momentarily as she pulled his head down to hers, but Shane closed his eyes just before their lips met in a long, slow kiss that only stoked the fire growing inside him. They broke apart and she turned to face him, though her hand still clasped his. Both of them were almost breathless.

Kim opened her mouth to speak, to try to convince him some more, but he stopped her by brushing his index finger across her lips. They didn't need any more words, he thought, as he lowered her to the soft rug in front of the fire. They only needed each other and a night that Shane wished would last forever.


	536. Chapter 536

_It's not time yet._

Kim tried to tell herself that it couldn't be morning even as she tried to ignore the incessant beeping of the alarm. She kept her eyes closed, hoping if she did, she would not have to face what the morning would bring.

Her effort was futile. As she lay, curled on her side, eyes closed, and trying to pretend the light was not beginning to stream through the curtains of the bedroom, she felt the same mix of fear, pain, and resignation that had filled her the day before. It was as if reality suddenly returned, destroying the short-lived fantasy that she and Shane had created to escape the real world for their last night together.

The night had been glorious. They had made love in front of the fire downstairs before retreating to the bedroom where they had let their passion and love control them. Over and over, Shane had taken her to the heights of pleasure and sent her soaring beyond even those heights. It was if that passion was a way of fighting off the fear and pain that they both felt, but needed to keep at bay for one, last desperate night. Neither of them had wanted it to end for that would mean facing reality once more. So they had made love, then Shane had held her as they curled together and fantasized about some happy future, and then they made love again. Finally, not long before the alarm sounded, when they had both been totally spent, Kim had fallen asleep, her head resting against Shane's chest. The sound of his beating heart drummed rhythmically and lulled her into an exhausted slumber.

The alarm continued to beep, so Kim gave up trying to ignore it. Groaning, she opened her eyes and reached over to turn it off. That was when she realized that she was alone in the bed.

She scanned the room, but there was no sign of Shane. There were no sounds coming from the bathroom either and, as she raised her head, she saw that the bathroom door was open and the light was off.

With a sigh, Kim forced herself to get out of bed. She figured Shane was downstairs, probably trying to make some last-minute financial plans or other arrangements for her and the children. On the one hand, she loved that he was so protective of them, but, on the other, she hated that he could not accept that she would be able to handle things in his absence.

Pulling a robe on, she exited the bedroom and started for the stairs, but stopped when she heard sounds coming from the nursery. She moved closer to the door and was about to go inside when she heard Shane's voice. He was speaking in a halting manner, almost choking on his words.

"- you'll understand. When I get out. . . when I come home, I'll make it up to you, sweetheart, I promise."

Kim's chest tightened as she heard the pain in Shane's voice.

"I wish. . . ." There was a long pause. "Just know that Daddy loves you, and he didn't want to leave you . . . I'd do anything for it to be different, and I promise that I'll never leave you again. . . . Can you remember that, Jeannie? Can you. . . ." His voice broke and Kim could tell Shane was weeping as he choked out, "Can you remember that I love you and that I'll be back and I'll never ever leave you again?"

Tears were streaming down Kim's face as she cautiously poked her head around the edge of the door. She felt like she was intruding on something private and knew Shane would be embarrassed that anyone - even Kim - had seen him so emotionally open.

Shane had his back to the door. To Kim's surprise, he was standing with Jeannie in his arms and rocking back and forth. There was not a lot of light in the room, just what was seeping through the curtains, but it looked to Kim like Jeannie's head was resting against his shoulder. Kim could not tell if the little girl was asleep.

"That's right, Jeannie," Shane whispered just before he kissed the little girl on the top of her head. "Remember that Daddy loves you." He continued to rock her and murmur soft words that Kim could no longer hear.

Kim stepped back so that, if Shane turned, he would not see her eavesdropping. She backed down the hallway, called out his name, and waited for a response.

It took a moment - Kim pictured Shane hastily trying to compose himself - before he called out that he was in the nursery. She walked slowly down the hall to give him a little more time before she entered and feigned surprise at the sight of Shane holding Jeannie in his arms. He looked at her a little guiltily.

"I won't tell Marcus," she said lightly, referring to the restrictions the doctor still imposed on Shane lifting anything.

Shane sighed. "I figured this one time wouldn't do any real harm." He looked down at Jeannie. "I was sitting in bed and it hit me that I've never actually carried her since we found out. . . since I've known she's my little girl."

"She'll still be a little girl in two years," Kim assured him, but Shane shook his head.

"It won't be the same. She'll be three," he countered. Then, in a much lower voice, he added, "She won't even know me."

Kim walked forward until she was beside him. Now close, she could see that Jeannie was awake and had just been nestling calmly in her father's arms. Smiling softly, Kim reached out and stroked their daughter's hair. Jeannie raised her head and broke into a big wide-eyed grin at the sight of her mother. She squirmed sidelong and reached her arms out to Kim. With obvious reluctance, Shane let Kim take their daughter from him.

"Jeannie will know you, Shane," Kim said. "Every day you are gone, I'll remind her that you love her and that we'll all be together when you come home." As Jeannie stopped fussing and settled her head against Kim's shoulder, Kim forced herself to smile. "And like you said, she'll be three when you come home. When she's older, she'll barely have any memories of a time before her daddy was around, so you'll have plenty of time to be part of her life and show her how much you love her."

Kim wanted her words to give Shane the reassurance he needed and she was glad to see him nod. He turned away, put his hands on the rail of Jeannie's crib, and took a deep breath.

"I guess the alarm must have woken you?" he asked as he looked back around at her. When Kim nodded, he gave a half-hearted smile. "Shakespeare would have you arguing that we only heard a nightingale, not a lark, but I guess he never considered alarm clocks."

"We'll have plenty of nights and mornings together." Still holding Jeannie against her, Kim reached out with her hand and brushed his cheek. "The rest of our lives, Shane. You need to remember that. . . . As hard as this is for all of us, we're going to come out of it together and our love will be even stronger." She watched as Shane closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "I don't want you to worry about us, even though I know it's pretty pointless to ask you not to. You wouldn't be the man I love if you didn't, but we'll be fine."

She started to pull her hand back, but Shane opened his eyes and took her hand in his. He seemed to study her hand for a moment before he spoke. "I know and I don't want you to think I doubt you. You are the strongest woman I've ever known, and I know the children are in good hands." He let go of her hand and added, "Maybe it's just easier to think about what needs to be done than dwelling on leaving you and the children."

Kim chose not to mention what she had witnessed between Shane and Jeannie earlier and how she knew that he was dwelling on leaving them. Instead, she tried to give him something to hold onto.

"When you think about me and the children, I don't want you to think about what might be wrong," she said. "I want you to think about taking the children riding across the grounds of Donovan Manor. Think about Eve's wedding, and the grand reception we'll host in the ballroom. That's why you're doing this - so you can see your children grow up and be part of their lives."

Shane nodded a little.

"And I want you to remember last night," Kim continued, carefully choosing her words because Jeannie was still in her arms. "When you feel alone, I want you to think about how it felt to be together, just us, and how we will be together again. I know when I was in jail, that was enough to get me through the worst of times. Can you do that, Shane?"

There was a long pause. "I can," he finally said and looked at her, his eyes shining with love and something else - appreciation, perhaps. Or admiration, she realized, as he said, "You really are an amazing person, Kimberly. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?"

Kim leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I think we have a mutual admiration society going." When she pulled away, she said what she knew neither of them wanted to say. "You probably should get ready. It's almost time."

Shane chuckled slightly. "I guess I should figure out the proper attire for going to jail. Any thoughts?"

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," Kim said. "Why don't you go on and I'll get Jeannie dressed."

Shane gave Kim and then the little girl each a kiss before he left the room. Once he was gone, Kim closed her eyes and forced herself not to cry. She did not want Shane to hear. He needed her to be strong today. There would be time enough for tears during the next two years.

Taking a deep breath, Kim looked down at Jeannie, who was staring back up at her with her big green eyes. "Come on, sweetie," Kim said, nearly choking on each word. "Let's get you ready so you can say goodbye to Daddy."


	537. Chapter 537

Steve sat silently in the rocking chair watching his daughter sleep. Despite the lack of sleep over the last 48 hours, he had awoken early, and his anticipation of what the day would bring had not allowed him to go back to sleep.

Not wanting to wake up Kayla, who had been exhausted the night before, he had crept quietly to his daughter's room. It was one of his favorite pleasures in life, watching his daughter peacefully asleep in her crib, her soft sighs the only sound in the room.

As he looked around the room, he smiled softly to himself. Unless they had another girl, they were definitely going to have to find a bigger apartment. The room was awash in pinks and dolls and everything a little girl would want. Not that it really mattered, but after growing up in an orphanage, Steve wanted his kids to have their own space to call their own.

Through the partially open doorway, Steve heard Kayla stirring in the bedroom. As he got up from the rocking chair he heard another sound, the one that signaled that his unborn child was once again playing havoc with his or her mother's stomach.

Moving carefully to avoid waking Stephanie, Steve walked to the bathroom. As he expected, Kayla was there, crouched over the toilet in the midst of another bout of morning sickness. Silently, he took a washcloth and ran it under the cold water from the sink. Then wringing it out, he placed it on the back of Kayla's neck, holding it there until the spasm subsided.

Kayla sat up and then slumped against the wall of the bathroom. Steve handed her the washcloth, which she used to wipe her face and mouth.

"Better?" he asked, looking at her with concern.

Kayla nodded. "At least until your kid decides to reject another meal."

"My kid?" Steve chuckled as he sat down beside Kayla. "I don't think I can take full credit, Sweetness. I'm pretty sure his mama had something to do with it too."

"His?" Kayla raised her brow. "You think it's a boy?"

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems to fit for some reason. You know that I don't care either way. Just as long as he - or she - is happy and healthy."

Kayla slowly got up before speaking. "I know. I feel the same way. But I have to agree that calling the baby 'him' does seem to fit."

"Well, I guess we'll find out one way or another in a few months, huh?" Steve said, rising to his feet.

"I just hope he has stopped waking up me like this by then," Kayla replied, as she left the bathroom and returned to the bedroom.

"Me too," Steve said, sincerely. "As excited as I am about this baby, I sure wish you didn't have to go through all this."

Kayla smiled and shook her head. "It's okay. It's really not that bad. And it's definitely all worth it."

"If you say so, baby." Steve was not convinced. He could see that Kayla was still tired. "Maybe you should stay home today. I've got everything covered."

Kayla whirled around and Steve nearly laughed at the determination in her eyes. "There is no way I'm missing anything today," Kayla said. "There is way too much at stake for everybody, and I'm certainly not going to stay home just because of a little morning sickness."

Steve held up his hands in mock surrender. His shoulder ached and he probably should have been wearing a sling on the arm, but he never liked appearing injured. So he covered the pain. "All right, Sweetness. I just want to make sure you're okay. But if you want to be there, I know better than to try and stop you."

Kayla's expression softened. "I appreciate that. But I need to be there today to see it all finally end. Just think, if everything goes right, after today, we can finally start focusing on the future."

Steve smiled and pulled Kayla into his arms. "That's right, baby. And I have a feeling that future is going to be pretty bright."

Kayla smiled and kissed his cheek and nestled into his arms, avoiding the spot where he had been shot. As he held his wife, Steve silently prayed that the day would go as planned. Although he had put on a brave face for his wife, Steve knew that there was real danger for all of them today. If his plan didn't work, there was no doubt that Tarrington would make them all suffer. Shane would go to jail, probably for a lot longer than the two years he had been promised, and Steve, Roman, and John would likely face the wrath of the ISA in whatever legal, or not so legal, manners Tarrington chose.

For just a moment, Steve's determination wavered. Maybe he should call the whole thing off rather than risk all of their lives in that way. The thought of being taken away from Kayla, Stephanie, and the unborn baby that was currently nestling between him and Kayla was horrifying. But no sooner did that thought make it's way to Steve's conscience mind than he banished it. Shane had risked his life to save Steve in that raid, and there was no way Steve was going to let Shane burn for that, especially because Steve himself had provided Tarrington with the ammunition to do it.

_No_, Steve thought silently, absently kissing the top of Kayla's head. He had told Kayla the night before that none of them had hesitated in choosing to join the plan, and he was going to see it through. This time it would be Tarrington who would find out what it felt like to be manipulated and used as a pawn. Hell, Steve was willing to go through with the plan just for that little bit of satisfaction alone.

With that thought leaving a smile on his face, Steve lifted his head and waited until Kayla met his eyes. "As much as I'd love to stand here like this all day, baby, we need to get moving."

Kayla nodded and moved out of his arms. "I'll go get in the shower." Her smile turned sexy. "Don't suppose you want to join me?"

Steve shook his head with genuine regret. "Not this time, baby. I want to call Mickey and make sure he reached Shane last night. We can't have this party without the guest of honor." Then he let his eye drift down his wife's body. "But I'm definitely taking a rain check."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Kayla replied as she moved toward the bathroom. Steve's eye followed her until he disappeared. Then he sighed and reached for the phone. _Time to put the wheels in motion._


	538. Chapter 538

Kim gripped Shane's hand as they entered the police station. Glancing at him, she marveled at how composed he appeared. In his dark suit and with a perfectly placid expression on his face, Shane looked like a high-powered attorney or a businessman who was perfectly comfortable stopping by the local police station. She doubted that anyone but she could sense how nervous Shane was. However, she could see the minute signs - the stiff way he held his shoulders, the tight lines around his eyes, his locked jaw.

She was trying to think of something to say when she heard Mickey Horton's voice. Turning her head, she spotted him coming down the corridor.

"Good, you came in the back," Mickey said. "There's a mob of press in the front setting up for the press conference."

Kim felt the rage begin to stir inside her. The ISA press conference, where Tarrington would take all the credit for everything Shane and Steve had risked their lives for. But she stopped herself from saying anything as she and Shane followed Mickey through the station.

They reached the main room of the station. On the far side of the cubicles manned by mostly unformed officers, Kim could see cameramen setting up their cameras and reporters milling about as they waited for the press conference to begin. In their midst, Kim could see Jack and Jennifer Devereaux and, leaning against a wall and talking with a man that Kim recognized as the field director for the Salem office of the ISA was Rachel Knight.

"Good thing Eve's not here," Kim said in a low voice to Shane, motioning with her head in Rachel's direction. Undoubtedly, their daughter would have had some choice words for the reporter.

During breakfast, Eve had been adamant about coming to the station with them, but Shane must have said something to dissuade her. He and Eve had talked privately in his study after breakfast. After that, Eve changed her mind and offered to stay home with Andrew and Jeannie. Kim had decided that Andrew should stay home from school. She did not know how he would be when it sank in that Shane really was gone, and thought it best that he be with family for the next day or two.

Kim suddenly realized that Mickey had stopped walking. They were now in the center of the room, only about 80 feet from the press area. As Kim wondered why they had stopped, Mickey scanned the room, as if looking for someone, and then set down his briefcase.

"What now?" Shane asked Mickey. "Where's Pasqua? I thought they wanted this finalized before the press conference."

Kim thought Mickey seemed confused for a moment, but then he responded, "Oh . . . I don't know . . . The U.S. Attorney didn't really mention why he chose the time." He paused, then said, "Um . . . let me go see if I can find him."

Mickey quickly disappeared in the direction of the offices of the Salem PD detectives and top-brass. As he did, Shane frowned slightly.

Kim gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Just hang in there," she said. "I'm sure this is just a little glitch." She knew that, at this point, Shane just wanted to get the plea bargain over and done with.

Five minutes passed, but Mickey did not return. Kim could sense the tension radiating off of Shane. She could tell he wanted to pace, but she also knew he did not want to attract the attention of the reporters.

"Kimmie."

The sound of Kayla's voice gave Kim a start. She turned to see her sister and Steve.

"So you decided you wanted to see the show?" Steve asked. He looked in the direction of the reporters.

Kim felt Shane tense, but his voice sounded very calm as he answered. "No. We're supposed to be meeting with the prosecutor before the press conference."

Seeing the concern in Kayla's eyes, Kim sighed and shook her head. There was nothing anyone could do to change things. She still expected Kayla to protest, but her sister turned away.

"You're really gonna do this, dude?" Steve looked bewildered. "All those reporters over there. If you just-"

"Stop," Shane said, curtly. "We went over this yesterday. You heard Tarrington. You heard what he'd do to you and Roman and John."

Steve grimaced. "Yeah, well, don't ever say we didn't give you every chance to back out."

Shane chuckled weakly. "No one would ever accuse you of that."

Kayla asked how the children were taking things, and seemed relieved to hear that neither Eve nor Andrew had been upset with Shane for making his decision.

Shane interrupted to ask, "Where is Mickey?" He sounded agitated.

"Calm down, dude," Steve said. In what Kim suspected was an attempt at levity, he added, "Someone might think you're excited to go to jail."

Shane did not answer. His attention was diverted by noise from the press area. Kim followed Shane's gaze toward the reporters, who were taking their seats. The cameramen were readying their cameras. Obviously, the press conference was about to begin.

"Maybe we should go wait someplace else," Shane said.

Steve laughed. "And miss some of the best acting this side of the Oscars? Not a chance. Oh, come on, Donovan, we might as well hear Ol' Tarrington spew his garbage firsthand."

"I don't want the reporters to get suspicious about my being here," Shane explained.

"Hey, don't worry, Donovan." Steve scowled at the reporters. "Those guys are so focused on the ISA and their heroes, they wouldn't notice you being here if you had a big neon sign with your name on it."

Kim had to agree. Nobody had come over while they had been waiting, and they certainly would not abandon the press conference to talk to Shane. _And I should hear Tarrington's lies_, Kim told herself. As bitter as the thought was, she wanted to know how the ISA intended to sell its story to the world.

Kayla pointed to an empty cubicle next to where the cameras were set up. It was near the back of the press area, behind the reporters, who had taken seats while waiting for the ISA officials and Salem PD to emerge.

"We might as well," Kim said.

Shane still seemed reluctant, but he agreed. They followed Steve and Kayla around the maze of police desks until they reached the empty cubicle Kayla had spotted. From there, they could see past the cameras and had a clear view of the reporters and the lectern that had been set up in front. Kim held Shane's hand in a tight grip. Next to them, Steve wrapped an arm around Kayla's shoulders.

A door to the side opened. A short woman who Kim recognized as being from the mayor's office came first. Tarrington was directly behind her and giving off an air of being the man in charge. Behind him were some other ISA agents, as well as Roman and Carly. Neither looked very pleased to be there. Carly looked at the entrance on the other side of the room. Kim followed Carly's gaze and saw that, next to the door, Bo had just slipped inside.

_The gang's all here_, Kim thought bitterly.

The short woman stepped up to the microphone. She gave a brief introduction to the people who would be speaking and set ground rules for questioning that Kim barely paid attention to, catching only that the person at the podium would answer only questions from the reporter called upon. That hardly surprised Kim. The ISA would want to keep control of the press conference. And, she realized, the ISA would play to their favorites. Rachel Knight would probably be the first reporter called.

Turning her attention to Tarrington, Kim studied him. The man oozed arrogance. Even standing silently and waiting for his turn to speak, Tarrington had a self-satisfied expression on his face.

_Why wouldn't he be satisfied? He's getting everything he wanted_, Kim told herself. _He should be happy. _

"I'd like to wipe that grin off that lying bastard's face," Steve mumbled to Kayla, his words echoing Kim's thoughts. "Just give me five minutes alone with that arrogant slimeball."

Kayla hissed a quick "Steve" before the woman finished her introductory remarks.

"And now, let me turn things over to ISA Director Nigel Tarrington, who will explain the incident and answer questions."


	539. Chapter 539

"I wish to assure the public that the situation in Salem is perfectly under control," Tarrington began. "Yesterday, this city was the subject of a plot that had been detected and was stopped through the hard work and extraordinary efforts of the ISA and its dedicated agents and associates."

Kayla bit back on yelling out that those people included Shane and Steve. Almost as if he knew what she was thinking, Steve squeezed her shoulder. She looked up at him and he gave a quick shake of his head.

_Let this play out_, he was silently telling her.

Kayla's heart was beginning to beat fast. She looked over at her sister, whose eyes blazed with fury. Next to her, Shane watched impassively, his stoic expression a sharp contrast to Kim's. But if her time with Shane had taught Kayla anything, it was that the expressionless mask was just that - a mask that covered his true feelings. Underneath, Shane was probably feeling as hurt and angry as the rest of them. Or probably more, she chided herself. He was the one who had been betrayed by people he had spent a lifetime trusting and was going to lose two years of his life because of it.

Her attention shifted back to the press conference. At the lectern, Tarrington was explaining how the ISA had "discerned Lawrence Alamain's plot months ago" and had "initiated a protocol." He motioned to Carly. "Dr. Manning was contacted and has been working with ISA scientists to prepare for a possible attack. It was her realization of what was taking place at the Salem Spectator that allowed for our forces to mobilize and all victims of the attack to be treated without a single fatality, and she also helped us recognize that the Spectator attack was intended to serve to distract local law enforcement while the second attack took place at the school. Thankfully, once alerted by Dr. Manning, our ISA agents and the Salem Police Department were able to stop that attack while other agents located the source of the toxin and killed the mastermind behind the plan."

"I'm not an agent," Steve muttered bitterly.

Kayla shushed him as Tarrington continued. "This truly was a team effort and I cannot praise the Salem Police Department enough for its quick action. The people of this city, state, and nation should be proud of the men and women who serve here, and in particular, the true hero of the hour, Roman Brady."

To her right, Kim turned suddenly. She looked utterly disgusted and started walking away. Shane followed.

"Damn," Steve muttered.

Kayla watched them as they stopped a short distance away. She could not hear what they were saying, but could see Shane was trying to calm Kim.

Meanwhile, back at the lectern, Tarrington asked if anyone had questions and the room erupted as reporters jockeyed to get called. Predictably, Tarrington called first on Rachel Knight.

Kayla's heart seemed to stop beating.

"Chief Tarrington," Rachel said. "Let me congratulate you and the ISA. This is quite a major triumph. As those of us who have been reporting on the ISA know well, this shows just how significant your operations can be." Her effusive praise generated some applause from the media, and Rachel paused.

Kayla felt her heart sink. After everything, Rachel was going to be the same lapdog for the ISA that she had been throughout the past few months. _That bitch._

"Thank you, Ms. Knight," Tarrington said, sounding very pleased. "As someone so familiar with ISA operations, your recognition is noted."

"Yes. . . . And of course, your network of agents have been tracking Lawrence Alamain's operations for while?"

Tarrington nodded. "Yes, he has been on our radar for an extended period."

"So, beg my pardon. . . . not to sound at all confused, but I don't think you explained how the ISA learned Salem Elementary was the target."

Kayla had to let the question replay in her head. _Was that it_?

It must have been, because she heard Steve whisper, "Yes!"

Tarrington seemed to take the question in stride. "It's not confusing at all," he replied. "Our agents received intelligence that it was the target of the true attack."

"Yes. . . ." Rachel paused and pursed her lips. "But if the ISA knew that Salem Elementary was the target all along, why would it depend on Dr. Manning's sleuthing skills? Obviously, the 'intelligence' you describe came during or after the attack at the Spectator. So my question is who was your source?"

Tarrington seemed to be hesitate. He looked a little uncomfortable with the question. "The ISA cannot reveal all of its sources, Ms. Knight."

"Isn't it true that the Spectator attack was intended by Lawrence Alamain to be non-lethal?"

This time, Tarrington blanched visibly. "I don't understand your question."

"Well . . . let me elaborate," Rachel said. "_My_ sources tell me that the gas released at the Spectator was a decoy designed to exhaust the supply of antidote the ISA had stockpiled, and that the most critical piece of information the ISA learned was that Lawrence Alamain intended to attack the school. Since Commander Brady and Dr. Manning were both at the Spectator, that means the ISA had to learn that Salem Elementary was the true target from another source."

From behind her, Kayla heard a gasp. She turned her head quickly and saw that Kim and Shane were no longer talking to one another. They were looking towards the press conference. Both seemed dumbfounded by Rachel's questions.

"You'd better come back here," Steve said in a low voice. He sounded like he was trying to stop himself from laughing. "It's only going to get hotter over there."

Kayla turned back and looked toward the lectern. Steve's description was apt. Tarrington's face had flushed and she thought he was sweating.

"Doesn't have much of a poker face, does he, Sweetness?" Steve whispered.

When Tarrington did not respond, Rachel's asked more pointedly, "Is the ISA refusing to explain how it knew which school was the target?"

Tarrington hesitated and seemed to struggle for an answer. "Um, no, of course not . . . . Well, obviously, in a terrorist scenario, we must be cognizant of vulnerable targets. A school is a logical target."

"But the ISA and Salem P.D. did not mobilize to Salem High or to any other schools, did it?" Rachel pointed out.

Tarrington hemmed and hawed. "I will have to check the reports."

"No you don't," Rachel replied. "I can assure you that they went directly to Salem Elementary, which indicates that the police and ISA knew in advance where the attack was to take place. Isn't that the point of all of the work of all of those 'dedicated' ISA agents? I believe that was your term."

"Ms. Knight, I hope you're not insinuating anything," Tarrington said.

Rachel gave him an innocent look. "I'm not insinuating a thing. I'm just asking a simple question. How did the Salem P.D. know the attack would be at Salem Elementary? How did it come by that knowledge?"

Tarrington seemed to freeze, unable to think of a response. He then mumbled evasively, "I think that is a question for the local authorities. . . ." He glanced at Roman. "Perhaps Commander Brady can explain how he discerned that Salem Elementary was the target."

Shane and Kim must have returned to the cubicle, because Kayla heard Shane's voice right beside her. Shane whispered, "What have you done?"

"We're saving your ass, Donovan," Steve shot back in a low voice. "Though you're going to have to give those photos back."

Shane did not get a chance to respond, because Roman had replaced Tarrington at the podium. He was grinning.

"Let me start by thanking Ms. Knight for her questions," he said. "I can't really take credit-"

"Roman!" Jack Devereaux interrupted the statement.

Kayla could feel Steve shaking. "Now it's gonna get good."

Roman looked at Jack and nodded.

"I have something very important to say," Jack said. "The Spectator has critical evidence that the ISA is covering up a major part of what happened yesterday."


	540. Chapter 540

Shane was still trying to process what was happening. A moment ago, he had been trying to calm Kim. Just standing beside her, he had been able to feel the anger radiating from her and, when she had suddenly bolted, he had feared she might do something to jeopardize the plea deal.

_And now it turns out that Kim is the least of my worries_, he said to himself.

He had sensed something had changed even before he actually heard Rachel Knight's question and Tarrington's stumbling response. Shane heard Kim gasp, but he was focused on the exchange taking place between the reporter and the ISA chief.

". . . . Isn't that the point of all of the work of all of those 'dedicated' ISA agents?" Rachel asked. I believe that was your term."

In 15 years of interacting with Tarrington, Shane had never seen the man look as flustered as when he tried to rally an offensive in response. "Ms. Knight, I hope you're not insinuating anything," Tarrington said.

Rachel dodged it easily. "I'm not insinuating a thing. I'm just asking a simple question. How did the Salem P.D. know the attack would be at Salem Elementary? How did it come by that knowledge?"

Shane jerked his head toward Steve, who was watching the entire exchange with the gleeful grin of a demented puppet master. That told Shane exactly how Rachel Knight had come by her knowledge.

"What have you done?" Shane whispered.

"We're saving your ass, Donovan," Steve shot back in a low voice. "Though you're going to have to give those photos back."

The photos hardly mattered. Didn't Steve understand the risk? Hadn't they gone over this the day before. They had no evidence. It was their word against the ISA. Shane started to respond, but Kim grabbed his hand and squeezed hard. Shane stopped and realized that Roman had taken the podium.

". . . can't really take credit-"

"Roman!" Jack Devereaux called out and Shane felt his stomach lurch. _Is Jack part of this too_? He looked at Steve, who had an even bigger grin, if that were possible.

"Now it's gonna get good," Steve muttered.

At the podium, Roman had opened the floor to Jack who announced, "The Spectator has critical evidence that the ISA is covering up a major part of what happened yesterday."

_What evidence_? Shane wondered. He leaned over to Steve and whispered, "Damn it, Steve, you don't have evidence. You can't bluff the ISA; you're going to get-"

Steve cut him off with an exasperated chuckle. "Oh ye of little faith. . . . Just be patient, dude."

At the podium, Roman was saying that only Tarrington could say if the ISA is covering anything up, but, "If you want to share with the rest of us, Jack, please go ahead."

"There is a videotape," Jack said dramatically.

Shane froze.

"As those of us with firsthand experience with Lawrence Alamain well know, the man was obsessed with making films." Jack seemed pleased at being able to share that personal knowledge with the press corps. "The attack on Salem was Lawrence's grand statement to the world, and he videotaped the entire thing."

Shane looked past Roman at Tarrington. The ISA Chief now looked entirely confused.

_You didn't check for the video, old chap, did you_? Shane asked silently.Of course not. Tarrington did not know Lawrence like Shane or Steve did. Shane turned back to Steve. "How-"

"This version of Roman's not such a bad dude once he gets past hating you," Steve said. "He's pretty useful, too."

Back at the podium, Roman narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't be bluffing, would you, Jack? Anyone who knew Alamain could speculate that he might have filmed things."

"But I doubt anyone would know what he filmed," Jack said.

Shane could tell that Roman was just playing along, but he suspected that only those in the know would detect that the exchange was scripted. "And what did he film?"

It felt like the entire room was holding its collective breath as Jack took a moment to respond.

"He filmed his attempt to kill Shane Donovan."

On the podium, Roman feigned surprise, then made a point of looking at Tarrington. If the ISA Chief had looked confused a moment before, he now looked shell-shocked. This press conference obviously was not going as planned.

"Tell me, Commander," Jack said. "Isn't it true that Lawrence Alamain tried to kill Shane Donovan yesterday, and it was because of what he revealed to former-Captain Donovan that you learned Salem Elementary was the intended target of the attack?"

Everyone in the room looked at Roman, who seemed to think for a moment before he replied, "It was a little more complicated than that, but I would say the answer is yes."

The room exploded. Reporters shouted questions, the words lost in the din, though Shane was sure he heard his name several times. Roman finally silenced them with a shouted, "Enough," looked back to Jack, and asked if he had any follow-up questions.

"Thank you, Commander," Jack said, sounding like a prosecutor in the middle of a cross-examination. "So if, as Chief Tarrington told us, Lawrence was stopped through the work of dedicated _ISA agents_, wouldn't that mean that former-Captain Donovan's work with the ISA is not so former?"

Roman pretended to evade the question. "I can't comment on ISA personnel matters. That would be for Chief Tarrington. I can tell you that it wouldn't be unusual for an ISA agent to pretend to be disgraced as part of an assignment. I believe Captain Donovan has even done so in the past."

"That's right," Jack said. He was preening. "And on the subject of Captain Donovan's 'disgrace,' would it surprise you, Commander, to learn that the video confirms that the facility in Egypt that Captain Donovan is accused of illegally attacking was operated by Lawrence Alamain and was where he was developing the toxin?"

Roman shook his head. "No, that would not surprise me in the slightest. . . . As I understand it, it was directly a result of Captain Donovan's mission in Egypt that we even knew about Alamain's plan and were able to prepare for it."

"Because of the rescue of Steve Johnson?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Roman answered, nodding. "Based on the information from Mr. Johnson, Shane, I mean, Captain Donovan-" Roman quickly covered the slip and returned to sounding officious. "Captain Donovan deduced that Alamain intended to attack Salem and set up the contingency plan that we used yesterday."

Carly stepped over before Roman could continue. "I can vouch for that," she said. "It was Shane Donovan who asked me to stockpile the antidote and watch for signs of any toxin attack. . . . If not for him, we wouldn't have been prepared for the attack at all."

Roman grinned. He looked again at Jack. "Anything else, Jack?"

"Nope, I'll let my colleagues have their turns," Jack said. "Oh, wait, just one thing." He turned to the other reporters. "When you get the video, please make sure the Salem Spectator receives appropriate credit."

He had barely finished when the other reporters began shouting out questions again.

"Was Donovan undercover?"

"Are the treason charges fake?"

"Did the ISA lie about Donovan's mission being unauthorized?"

At that moment, Shane became aware that Kim was squeezing his hand in a vice-like grip. He looked down at her and saw that her cheeks were wet. She lifted her head and, through the tears, her eyes shone with hope.

Roman let the reporters shout for another minute and then said, "These questions really aren't for me." He stepped back and turned to Tarrington. "Chief, I think you probably should address these."

Tarrington looked like a man about to face a firing squad, but he had no choice. He quickly pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his brow. He walked slowly to the podium as if rehearsing what he would say. But as he walked, his demeanor changed. Slumped shoulders pulled back. Tarrington raised his lowered head. By the time he reached the podium, he almost seemed like he was back in charge. Tarrington even faked a grin as he began to speak.

"I obviously had intended to delay the announcement, but I must commend Mr. Devereaux for his excellent investigative techniques." Tarrington spoke so smoothly that only someone who knew him could tell how much it nearly killed Tarrington to say that. "Yes. . . . I guess our hand has been forced and I must reveal that Captain Donovan was working for the ISA."

"Shane!" Kim said, her word a mix between a gasp and a low hiss.

Shane could almost not believe he had heard Tarrington. It needed to be repeated.

"So Captain Donovan was working for the ISA all this time?" a reporter shouted. "The treason charges were part of the plan?"

"Um. . . ." Tarrington was struggling to hide his fury at being cornered. But he had no choice. "Yes, the treason charges were part of the plan to 'free up' Captain Donovan. Things did not exactly go according to plan due to the unfortunate incident with Cal Winters, but we knew Captain Donovan was the best man to go after Lawrence Alamain."

Another reporter shouted, "And the charges?"

For an instant, Tarrington looked away from the reporters, toward the area where Shane, Kim, Steve, and Kayla were standing. Shane could see the fury and anger in Tarrington's eyes as he must have realized for the first time that they were in the audience. Shane's eyes locked on Tarrington's, but just for an instant before the ISA Chief looked back at the press corps and answered the question.

"The charges will be dropped immediately."


	541. Chapter 541

"The charges will be dropped immediately."

Kim had to let those words replay in her head a few times. _The charges will be dropped immediately. _After everything they had endured through the past several months, it was almost too simple, too easy for it to end with just those simple words.

She realized that she was still gripping Shane's hand extremely tightly, but she almost feared to let go. Maybe this was all some dream and, if she released his hand, she would wake up and it would be morning all over again.

_No, this is real_, she insisted silently. She looked up at Shane's face. He was still watching Tarrington.

"Shane?" she whispered.

His mouth moved, but no words came out. He seemed too stunned to speak.

Steve laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen Donovan speechless before. The man with all the words can't find any."

Shane shook his head. "I . . . I don't believe-"

"Believe it," Steve said, quickly cutting Shane off. "Now, why don't we make ourselves scarce? Unless you want to get mobbed by all those reporters when they figure out you're standing here."

Kim had been so focused on Shane that she had not realized that the press conference was ending. A glance at the podium showed her that Tarrington had regained his bearings and was making a concluding speech about the "tireless work of the ISA." She did not want to hear any more.

"Roman's office," she suggested in a low voice.

Kayla nodded. "Good idea."

Steve steered Kayla down the corridor toward Roman's office. Kim started, her hand still gripping Shane's, but he hesitated. His eyes were still focused on the podium, as if he did not wanting to tear his eyes away from Tarrington.

"It's real, Shane," Kim whispered. She tugged on his hand and he moved a step sideways toward her, then followed as she continued to pull him down the hall.

When they got to Roman's office, Bo was already there, his arms wrapped around Steve in a bear hug. "We did it," he said as he and Steve both grinned. Then Bo let Steve go and turned to Shane. "Sorry, Gov'nor. You didn't really think we'd let the ol' ISA scare us off, did you?"

Shane still seemed stunned. "I . . . I really don't know what to say." He shook his head like he was trying to clear it. "I'm grateful. . . . I really-"

Steve cut Shane off with a laugh. "Seriously, dude, stop it. You're making me a little misty-eyed here." He swatted Shane on the shoulder. "No thanks needed, Donovan. This was all family."

"Am I missing something about family?" Roman said, as he came bursting through the door, a broad grin on his face. "Make way for the actors.

Carly and Jack followed, his notebook in one hand a pen in the other. Kim saw Steve scowl at Jack, who, with a resigned shrug, put the pen in his pocket.

"Hey. . . ."

Looking up, Kim saw Roman smiling down at her. He held his arms out and asked, "Does my performance deserve some award?"

Kim felt such a surge of emotion that she dropped Shane's hand and rushed forward. She buried her head against her brother's chest and swung her arms tightly around him. "Thank you," she said, feeling the grateful tears sting her eyes.

"It's not an Oscar, but it'll do," Roman joked as he hugged her back.

"Hey, my turn," came Bo's voice from behind her. Kim turned away from Roman and her younger brother swept her into an embrace. He held her close and whispered, "It took too damn long to get you and Shane back together. We weren't gonna let the stupid ISA take him from you."

A stream of wet tears were flowing down Kim's cheeks and she choked a little as she said, "You always did look out for your big sister."

"Well, this was definitely a group effort," Roman said. "John also. He would've been here too, but we thought it might be hard to explain why he was here for the press conference." Roman paused for a moment. "But the credit really belongs to Steve. It was his idea."

Kim jerked her head around and looked at Steve. He shrugged. "Guilty as charged."

For a moment, she studied him. It was funny, she thought, suddenly thinking of how much they had all been through since Steve had returned. With a bit of a shock, she realized it had only been five months since she had first seen him at Donovan Manor, looking half-starved and barely able to climb a set of stairs. Now, he looked like the Steve Johnson of old - healthy, happy, and whole. His eye met hers and he smiled.

"Thank you," Kim said. It seemed completely inadequate, but it was all she could think to say.

"Aw, it was nothing compared to storming an armed compound in the desert with a bunch of Green Berets," Steve said. "Did Shane ever tell you how hot that place was?"

Kim reached up and pecked him on the cheek, causing Steve to blush. As she did, Kayla cleared her throat.

"I think we've been caught," Steve joked.

Kayla laughed and then it was her turn to give Kim a hug. Neither said a word. They didn't have to. Kayla's eyes were brimming with happy tears too.

When they pulled apart, Kim looked at everyone who was still hugging and reliving the press conference - her brothers, Steve, Jack, and Carly. She suddenly realized that one person was notably not involved.

Turning, she saw that Shane had turned his back to the group. He had stepped over to Roman's desk and was staring down at the desk. His palms were resting on the desktop and his shoulders were hunched forward.

"Go talk to him," Kayla whispered in Kim's ear, but the encouragement was unnecessary. Kim was already crossing to the desk.

Reaching him, Kim asked in a soft voice, "Are you okay?" She tilted her head so she could see his face, which was lowered.

He nodded, and she could see that he was struggling to stay composed. "I never expected this," he said, almost under his breath. "I still can't believe it."

As if on cue, Mickey Horton entered the office. "Here you are," he said, as he spotted Shane, who turned to face the door. "I just spoke to Lewis Pasqua. He's drawing up the dismissal papers as we speak."

Someone cheered, but Kim barely noticed. She was watching Shane, who seemed to still be processing what Mickey had said.

"It's over, my love," Kim told him. She grabbed his hand and, the tears again flowing freely, embraced him. "It's over, and we don't have to worry about our family ever being apart. We won, Shane. We beat the ISA."

From behind her, she heard a harsh laugh. Kim pulled her head back and turned to see that Tarrington had entered the room unnoticed. From just inside the doorway, he stared looked around the room at the group assembled in the office. Then, in a curt, clipped tone, he said, "Yes, Kimberly, I believe you have."


	542. Chapter 542

Steve jammed his hands into his pockets and stepped forward in front of Kayla when he realized that Tarrington had entered the room. Of course the man would not let this go. He would have to have some last word and probably make a few more threats.

Unable to stop himself, Steve growled, "This is a private party, Tarrington. Family and friends only. You ain't family, and you definitely ain't one of our friends."

Tarrington responded with one of those smug looks that Steve so desperately wanted to wipe off his face. "Soon enough, Mr. Johnson. I just wanted to congratulate Shane." The smug mask fell a little and Steve could hear some bitterness in Tarrington's voice as he looked at Shane. "Good play, old chap."

Then, just as Steve knew he would, Tarrington brought out the threats. _Damn Feds. They are so predictable_.

"There will be consequences, of course," Tarrigton said, turning his gaze on the others in the room. "You were warn-"

"No, there won't," Shane said, stepping forward until he was eye-to-eye with Tarrington. "This is over, Tarrington. You've threatened my family and the people I care about for long enough. You could do that while you had charges hanging over me, but if you do one thing to hurt anyone in this room or anyone even in Salem because of what happened today, I will make sure every reporter in the country knows the ISA is behind it within hours."

_If this is a bluff, it's a damn good one_, Steve thought. He almost laughed, but he wanted to make sure he caught every word that Tarrington said.

Obviously, Tarrington thought Shane was bluffing, because he responded with an amused chuckle. "You would never betray the agency, Shane. We both know that."

"If the agency harms innocent men and women for political retribution, going public would be saving the ISA, not betraying it." Shane sounded deadly serious. "You already used my children as pawns when you knew they were in danger. Cal Winters was out there and you played games with my family's life." Shane's eyes narrowed. "I should rip you to shreds for that-"

Tarrington backed a step away. "Now, now, Shane. Don't do-"

Steve had to grin at the fear in Tarrington's eyes. He doubted anyone in the room would stop Shane if he beat the ISA Chief silly.

"I said I should," Shane said evenly. "But I'm willing to let you walk out of this room with your limbs intact provided you swear to leave these people be. They beat you. Accept defeat graciously, because this ends now." When Tarrington seemed to hesitate before responding, Shane added, his voice low and threatening, "Don't test me. I'll have no compunction about bringing down a third corrupt ISA Chief who abuses his power by harming innocents. Think about what I did to your two predecessors. Remember Nickerson and Vaughn. I brought them both down; I'll do it to you."

For a moment, Tarrington's and Shane's eyes locked. But only for a moment. Then Tarrington blinked and looked away.

"Very well . . . you win," Tarrington said, saying the words as if they had to be torn from him. But as Steve expected, the man would not just walk away quietly. He needed to have the last word.

_Keep talking, Chief_, Steve told himself.

"You should be complimented for out-maneuvering us," Tarrington said. "Though I am surprised. I would never have expected you to have pulled this rabbit out of your hat. Yesterday, you were quite convincing when you said you were taking the deal."

This time, Shane gave the amused response. "Yesterday, I was quite sincere. You don't seem to understand. What happened out there had nothing to do with me." Shane shook his head. "I was just as blind-sided by all of this as you were. You should give credit where it's due."

His gaze turned to Steve. Tarrington's eyes followed and his expression turned to a scowl.

Steve pulled his hands out of his jacket pockets and held them up. Pain radiated from his shoulder, but he refused to show any sign that he was hurting as he gave Tarrington a mocking grin. "Guilty as charged."

_Come on, Chief, give me everything you've got_, Steve thought.

"I should have known," Tarrington muttered.

Steve glared back at Tarrington, the look in his eye at odds with the light, almost-amused tone he used. "Well. . . . I don't take too kindly to threats against my friends and family either," Steve said. "That's one way the Captain and me are alike."

Steve looked into Tarrington's eyes and he could see the loathing and fury that the other man was fighting to contain. It looked like his entire face was clenched so tight, it might break.

Finally, with a jerk of his head, Tarrington looked away. Then, in a low voice, he said, "I should never have had them rescue you."

_Ah, time for the truth to come out._

"How about we put that in honest terms?" Steve shot back. "Let's not pretend my rescue was ever part of your agenda. What you mean is that you shouldn't have added me as a secondary objective so you could use that to railroad Shane when you needed political cover?"

Tarrington snorted. "I might not put it precisely in those terms, but that's close enough. You always were more trouble than you were worth, Johnson. I almost regret that Shane proved too competent on that mission. We could have just as easily obtained the virus antibodies from your corpse."

"You son of a-"

Tarrington cut Steve off. "I must say that Alamain did have one thing right. You really do have an incredibly inflated sense of yourself. You have never been anything but an afterthought. You are nothing but-"

The sharp sound of a slap echoed in Steve's ears at the same time as he saw Tarrington's head swing sharply to the left. Steve looked down to see that Kayla had stepped forward. Her right hand was still raised. The palm was already red.

"Don't you dare say another word." Her eyes were blazing as she glared at Tarrington. "That's my husband you're talking about."

Tarrington stared back at Kayla, one hand on his cheek. He looked dumbfounded.

Steve chuckled. "Don't worry, Sweetness, I've heard worse than 'afterthought.' Larry called me insignificant. . . . But I wouldn't expect anything different from El Jefe here. All he does is make threats and use people; to him, we're all pawns. Like Kim and the kids when Winters was threatening them. Tarrington didn't give a damn if they got killed as long as he could use them as leverage to get Shane to cop to a plea deal. And he was ready to lock me up to get me to tell him about Alamain. Isn't that right?"

"We needed the information you had," Tarrington said, having recovered from his surprise at being slapped.

"You could've asked," Steve said, his voice nearly a snarl.

Tarrington responded with another snort. "You would have refused on principle, Johnson. You wouldn't have cooperated voluntarily, so we had to be prepared to take matters into our own hands."

"By locking me up?" Steve asked.

"By any means necessary," Tarrington responded.

Steve shook his head. "Just like you threatened to lock John and Roman up and destroy Carly's career if they didn't go along with your lies at the press conference."

"Yes . . . well, you see how successful that turned out," Tarrington said bitterly. He looked around the group and Steve could tell that Tarrington wanted to make some more threats, but the man looked at Shane and he stopped. Tarrington seemed to bite down on his tongue, then turned suddenly and stormed out of the office.

"And I thought he was one of the good guys," Roman muttered.

Steve grinned. This Roman was growing on him. He walked over to Kayla and put a hand on her shoulder. "How's the hand?" he asked.

She turned and looked up at him. "I wish I could have done a hell of a lot worse."

"That's my girl," Steve said, chuckling. He gave her a quick kiss and then glanced across the room at Shane, who had an arm around Kim. With a grin, Steve said, "About time you finally stood up to that blowhard." He quickly raised a hand. "No, don't tell me why this was different."

Steve knew that Shane probably had some reason for why he could threaten to bring down Tarrington and the ISA now, when he was willing to go to jail before. The reason probably even made sense to Shane - some "logic" behind it. That was a part of Shane that Steve would never understand. He just had a different way of looking at the world. To Steve, Shane's way was too black-and-white, too by-the-book, too rigid, but, in the end, Steve had to admit grudgingly that he and Shane did seem to reach the same place.

_So maybe it's not wrong_, Steve thought. _Just different_.

Kim hugged Shane and said, "I don't want to know either. I'm just glad it's all over. Now we can get on with our lives."

Shane just nodded. "Me too. I just want to go home and be with our family. I don't even want to think about Tarrington. I'm done with that. I'm done with the ISA."

As Shane turned to ask Roman about how best to leave the building without running into reporters, Steve tried to hide a smirk. He reached back into his jacket pocket, felt around until he found what he was looking for, and then pulled out the small piece of silver metal. The red light on the top of the little recorder was lit, and it whirred softly as it continued to capture the noise in the room.

_You think you're done with the ISA, Donovan_, Steve thought_. _Under his breath he said, "Maybe not as much as you think, dude."


	543. Chapter 543

Kim came awake slowly and stretched lazily in the early morning light. She looked around, realized that the bed was empty, and noticed that Shane's robe was gone. Turning to the clock, she saw that it was 7:23 a.m. and chuckled. Of course, Shane would be up early. He was almost as bad as Andrew on Christmas morning.

Climbing out of the bed, she quickly donned her robe and got cleaned up. She checked the nursery, but was not surprised to find it empty. As she made her way downstairs, she could hear noise coming from the kitchen.

"But why can't we now?" Andrew whined.

Shane's voice oozed with patience. "Because we're going to be civilized, young man, and only savages would open presents before their mother and sister woke up."

"And we are most definitely not savages," Kim joked as she stepped into the kitchen.

Andrew turned quickly in his chair and leaped out. "Mommy!" he shouted, rushing over to give her a hug.

Still at the table, Shane was holding Jeannie in his lap. He rolled his eyes. "That was civilized."

Kim crouched down and kissed Andrew. "Merry Christmas, honey." Letting go, she crossed over to the table and kissed Jeannie on the cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"I hope I get one of those too," Shane joked. She tilted her head and saw his eyes sparkling. "The kiss, I mean. Though the 'Merry Christmas' would be nice too."

Kim gave him a sly grin that she made sure Andrew could not see while she leaned past Jeannie. Her eyes closed as their lips met. She moaned a little, marveling at how something as little as a kiss could send such strong sensations through her. Her lips parted and she felt Shane's tongue slowly met hers. When they finally broke apart, she breathed, "Merry Christmas. . . but I already said that a few times last night, didn't I?"

Shane smiled, probably at the reminder of the night before. "Yes, you did." They had been up late setting out presents. It had been after midnight by the time they finished putting Andrew's new bike together and then they had toasted Christmas morning with Eve when she arrived home from Wings. By that time, Kim should have been exhausted, but she had pulled Shane upstairs and into their bed, where they had made love until the early hours of the morning. "I hope you don't mind my trying to let you sleep in," he said.

"Like Andrew would let me?" Kim asked.

"I guess not. . . . Hey, Sport. . . ." Shane called out to Andrew, who hurried over. "I have a great idea," Shane said. When Andrew looked at him anxiously, Shane glanced at Kim, then motioned Andrew close, and, with a conspiratorial gleam in his eye, whispered something in the boy's ear. Finishing, Shane pulled away and then said, "Can you do that? Exactly like I asked?"

Andrew nodded, turned on his heels, and ran out of the room.

Seeing the expression on Shane's face, Kim sighed. "What did you just tell our son to do?"

"Nothing," Shane said innocently. In the face of Kim's look, he added, "I just suggested that he wake Eve." After another long pause, he finally confessed, "By sneaking into her room and shouting 'Merry Christmas!'"

"Shane!"

But Kim's cry was nothing compared to the shriek that echoed through the house.

Kim cringed and shook her head as Shane began to chuckle. "Sometimes," she grumbled, but she did not bother to finish the thought. Instead, she held out her arms, took Jeannie from Shane, and switched places with him just in time for Andrew to race through the door and duck behind Shane, cowering as a furious Eve stormed through the door.

"Where is he?" she yelled. "Where is that little twerp?"

Shane gave her a cheerful smile. "Merry Christmas, Sweetheart."

Eve stopped and put her hands on her hips. "You put him up to that, didn't you?" Her question was met with silence and a look of pure innocence on Shane's part. Seeing that she was going to get no admission from Shane, Eve looked at Kim.

_I'm not getting in the middle of this_, Kim told herself. She quickly shook her head and pointed in Shane's direction.

"Oh, gee, thanks," he said to Kim, though he was teasing. "Stab me in the back, why don't you?" Turning back to Eve, Shane gave her a disarming smile. "It's Christmas morning, darling, and your brother has been waiting patiently for you to join us so he can open his presents. We couldn't have you sleep the entire day away."

Eve gave him an exasperated look, which was followed by an exaggerated huff. "It's not even 8." But seeing she was going to receive no sympathy, she grumbled, "Let me get some coffee, at least."

Shane looked down over his shoulder at Andrew and said, "I think the coast is clear. You can come out now." Andrew scooted around Shane's leg, though he kept a wary eye on Eve. But Shane was right. Now that Eve had some caffeine in her, she seemed to no longer mind the rude awakening.

Kim motioned to Shane, who leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. "As my father would say, 'You could charm the knickers off a nun.'"

"Do they have to be a nun's?" Shane whispered back. "Yours are much more fun to take off."

"Shane!" Kim felt her ears burn, even as she laughed. It was so wonderful to laugh again. In just the week since the charges against Shane had been dropped, it had felt like the darkness had lifted from the house. All of the strain and fear had just disappeared.

"Can we open presents now?" Andrew asked, his tone midway between a whine and a plea.

Shane and Kim exchanged a wry glance as Shane pointed out, "Seeing as he risked his life in the quest to open presents early. . . ." He nodded in Andrew's direction. "Lead on, good chap."

Andrew turned and ran from the room. Eve rolled her eyes and then followed calling for Andrew to wait until the others got there. In Kim's lap, Jeannie fidgeted and leaned forward, her signal that she wanted to be put down. Complying, Kim lowered the little girl to the ground and Jeannie immediately toddled in the direction her siblings had gone. Shane held out a hand to Kim, who took it and stood up.

They followed the kids down the hall, where they could hear Andrew excitedly pointing out who different presents belonged to. They had just reached the foyer when the doorbell rang.

Shane looked at Kim with a quizzical expression on his face. Kim was just as confused. _Who could be here this early on Christmas morning_? She stood there as Shane walked over to the door and opened it. On the porch stood a man that Kim had never seen before. He wore a dark, expensive overcoat that exposed a little of his well-tailored suit.

"Captain Donovan, I presume?" asked the man as he held out his hand. "Martin Baker, Associate Deputy Director. . . CIA."

Kim stepped close to Shane. The cheer in the house had dissipated and she felt a chill run down her spine. _What could the CIA want_? She silently urged Shane to shut the door in the man's face, but Shane just crossed his arms and spoke evenly.

"I can't imagine why the CIA would have any business with us, particularly on Christmas morning," Shane said.

"I can understand your hesitancy, Captain, but-"

"I'm no longer a Captain," Shane replied. He spoke in a curt tone that Kim could tell was an attempt to mask the bitterness he must have felt. Kim wondered if the other man could tell how hard that was for Shane to acknowledge.

"Yes, about that. . . ." The man's voice trailed off and he hesitated before he said, "If you would just give me a few minutes. I flew here from Washington to speak with you and it's very important. Please . . . just a few minutes."

Shane looked over at her and, despite her misgivings, she nodded. Whatever it was, a CIA official would not have flown to Salem on Christmas morning if it wasn't important.

"Very well," Shane said. "Please come in." He waited for the man to enter and then shut the door. The man took a moment to look around the foyer, catching sight of Eve and Andrew, who were just inside the doorway of the library. They were both staring at the stranger.

"Perhaps we could talk in private," he said to Shane, who looked apologetically at Kim and the kids, told them to start opening presents without him, and then led the man to the study.

Kim debated following them, but she looked at Andrew's expectant face and sighed. She shrugged when Eve asked what Kim thought was going on and then suggested that Andrew open a box that contained some action figures he had wanted. Kim picked up one of Jeannie's presents - a stuffed bear she had wrapped the night before. She figured the kids could play with those while they waited for Shane to return.

That seemed to work. She and Eve were left to sit nervously, while Andrew began putting his new ninja turtles through their paces and Jeannie bounced on Kim's lap, giggling at the new bear she clutched close. Meanwhile, Kim felt an uneasy fluttering in her stomach.

Had they overlooked something, she wondered. Maybe Steve's plan had worked too well. They should have know they couldn't undermine the ISA's plan like that without problems.

She told herself she was being silly. If the government was going to seek retribution, there would be federal agents storming the house, not a lone official on the doorstep, pleading to be heard.

_So what do they want_?

It felt like an eternity before Kim heard voices outside the library. Lowering Jeannie to the ground, Kim started to rush toward the open door, but stopped herself. She figured Shane would prefer that she remain composed - outwardly, at least. Steeling herself, Kim walked slowly to the doorway.

". . . I hope you understand," Shane was saying. He was standing by the door, and seemed very calm, but sounded resolute.

"I do, Captain," the man replied as he pulled on the overcoat that he must have removed in Shane's study. "And I understand that this has been a difficult time. . . . Look. . . ." He finished putting on his coat and faced Shane. "It's Christmas, so nothing is getting done in Washington until after the new year. Spend the time with your family and think about what we discussed. Take the week. Maybe you'll reconsider."

Shane seemed to mull it over, but then responded, "I'm pretty sure my mind's set."

"Think about it," the other man said. "You have my card. Call me at the end of the week and tell me then." He looked up at Kim and nodded. "Mrs. Donovan-"

"It's Brady," Kim said, almost instinctively.

The man flushed a little at his faux pas. "Of course, I'm sorry. . . Ms. Brady. And I'm sorry to have intruded. Merry Christmas."

He disappeared through the door before Kim could respond. When he was gone, she looked at Shane.

"Shane?"

He looked back and said, simply, "He offered me a job. I said no."

"What job?" Kim asked.

Shane started walking to the library. Casually - too casually - he said, "Chief of the ISA."

_The what? _The foyer seemed to spin and Kim felt her mouth moving, but could find no words. She looked at the library doorway to see an equally stunned Eve. Meanwhile, Shane had spotted Andrew.

"We seem to have far too many presents left to open, young man," Shane said, crouching down beside the boy. "How about you go pull a few more from under the tree for you and your sisters to unwrap."

As Andrew ran over to the tree, Kim finally recovered enough to speak. In a low voice, she asked, "Someone from the CIA just offered you the job as head of the ISA?"

Shane looked up and nodded.

"What about Tarrington?" Kim asked.

Shane chuckled a little. "Tarrington. . . Tarrington has been sacked." At Kim's wide-eyed look, he stood, walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. In a low, even voice, he said, "None of that matters, Kim. I told him no. . . okay? If the last few months have taught me anything, it's that what's important to me is what's right here in this house. You and our children are all that matters, and I told him I won't give that up for the ISA."

Kim felt her heart swell as she looked into Shane's eyes. They told her that his words were sincere. He meant it. She reached up and cupped his face with her hands.

"And you and our children mean everything to me," she said, before she pulled his head toward hers and kissed him.

"Are they kissing again?" Andrew asked, groaning.

Shane pulled away. "We may be testing the scientific limits of a five-year-old's ability to be patient when there is a roomful of presents to open."

They took a seat on the sofa and watched as Andrew began sorting gifts for everyone. Kim barely paid attention; her eyes were on Shane, who was holding Jeannie in his lap and helping unwrap her presents. He was showing the wide-eyed little girl a new doll, though he kept looking over to the other children so he could share their excitement with each gift Andrew and Eve opened.

_This is how it should be_, she thought. Had it really been just several days earlier that they had faced not just Christmas, but years apart? Now they had their entire future together, in this house, as a family.

As if he could read her thoughts, Shane looked up, his eyes sparkling. Kim flushed a little, but he reached out, squeezed her hand, and then turned to Andrew.

"Why don't you see if there's anything under the tree for Mommy?" Shane suggested. His conspiratorial wink to their son gave Kim an inkling that something was up. When Shane pointedly did not meet her look, she knew it.

"Shane. . . ."

He did not answer, but waited for Andrew to carry over a small box wrapped in red and gold paper and hand it to Kim. She took it from her son, who looked at Shane as if waiting for directions. Shane patted the sofa on his opposite side and Andrew climbed up.

"Go on, Mommy," Andrew urged. He was sitting on his knees so he could look across Shane, who had one arm wrapped around Jeannie. Behind them, Eve had taken up a position so she also could watch. There was an expectant smile on Eve's face that added to Kim's nerves.

Kim felt her heart begin to beat faster as she looked down at the small package. Her hand trembled as she picked at the wrapping. As the paper came away, revealing the little velvet box, it began to slip from her palm, but Shane caught it before it could fall.

She could only stare silently at the box now in his hand. The box actually began to blur as she felt her eyes fill.

"Kim," Shane said tentatively, but she just nodded and then looked up at him.

"Yes," she said, the word barely audible. She forced herself to take a deep breath and repeated, "Yes, I will."

Shane started to grin, but then stopped. "You haven't even opened it," he pointed out. "You don't even know what's inside. How do you know it's not a key to a new garden shed or something like that-"

"A key to a garden shed?" Kim raised an eyebrow and then looked down at the box. "I know you, mister. You and velvet boxes."

Shane shrugged. "So call me predictable," he said. "I guess there are worse things." He was still holding Jeannie on his lap with one arm, so he could only use one hand to open the little box. It came open with a flash as the diamond inside caught the morning light.

Kim glanced at it, but the ring was not what she wanted to see. She looked instead into Shane's eyes, which shone back at hers. _There's so much love there_, she thought. _What did I do to deserve this much love?_

"I'm trying to think of something to say," Shane said, his eyes not leaving hers. "'Third time's the charm' seems a bit trite, doesn't it?" Then he grew a bit more somber. "No. . . . what I want to say is that I can't think of anything more perfect than to do this now, this way, with our children here." He looked up at Eve and then at Andrew and finally down at Jeannie. "Our family, Kimberly, this family that has been through so much. What I said before is true. It has taken me a long time - far too long - to recognize what matters, and what's most important is our family, our love - and I will fight for that love and trust that love and do whatever it takes to keep that love, because without it . . . without you, this family is not complete. I'm not complete."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but Kim ignored them. She stared back into Shane's eyes and breathed, "I'm not complete without you, Shane Donovan."

"Then would you do me the honor of becoming my wife - again?" Shane smiled softly and held up the ring. "Will you marry me, Kimberly?"

Kim tried to answer, but the words caught in her throat. For a long moment, she could only nod. Finally her voice returned and she managed to say, "Yes. . . . Yes, I'll marry you."


	544. Chapter 544

Snuggled deeply in her bed, Kayla reached instinctively for her husband as the first hints of waking made their way through her body. Her eyes opened to nothing but emptiness on his side of the bed. As she adjusted to the dark room, she saw two items on the pillow where Steve's head should have been. Sitting up, she reached for them. She found a single, yellow rose and a small, wrapped box.

Smiling, she pulled back the covers and stepped from the bed. As she wrapped her robe around her, she was thankful that her morning sickness had begun to eased during her second trimester. Well, it was either that or her child had decided to give his mama a break on Christmas. Either way, she was happy not to experience the all too familiar nausea this morning.

Holding the small box she had found, Kayla quietly made her way out of the bedroom, walked down the hall, and peeked into her daughter's room. Stephanie was still asleep, having been worn out by the Christmas Eve festivities the night before. Kayla knew that this would likely be the last Christmas that did not begin with small children waking their parents in breathless anticipation of what Santa had left under the tree.

Moving to the living room, Kayla first saw the beautiful Christmas tree that she and Steve had put up just a few days before. Underneath the tree were wrapped presents. Most were for Stephanie and some would go with them to her parents' house later that morning. After the craziness of the last few weeks, it had taken several marathon shopping trips with Kimberly to cross all of her items off her list.

Turning slightly, Kayla found Steve standing at the window looking out on the snowy street. He was wearing only his pajama bottoms and a Santa hat perched on his head. As she watched, he put his harmonica to his mouth and the quiet strains of "Silent Night" began to filter through the room.

Kayla walked to Steve, put her arms around him, and leaned her cheek against his back. He must have felt her approach, because he never flinched and continued to play the song. When it was finished, they stood there for a moment before Kayla whispered a soft "Merry Christmas, Steve."

Steve slowly turned in her arms and placed his hands on the sides of her face. They stared into each other's eyes, seemingly lost in time. Kayla could read so many emotions in his eye - happiness, peace, perhaps a little regret, but most of all there was love.

"Merry Christmas, Sweetness," he said as he bent down and softly kissed her lips.

They stood together for several moments before Kayla remembered what she was holding in her hand. Pulling away slightly, she held the box up. "Is this for me?"

Steve's green eye twinkled, "Who else did you think it was for, baby?"

Kayla smiled brightly and shrugged. "Well I didn't want to make an assumption. Maybe you left it on the pillow by mistake."

Steve took Kayla's hand, walked her over to the couch, and pulled her down on his lap as he sat. "Why don't you open it and find out."

Carefully removing the ribbon, Kayla opened the box and gasped. Inside was a gold necklace with a heart shaped pendent hanging from the chain. Within the heart, three small stones hung from tiny strands of gold.

"It's beautiful," Kayla said as she lifted the necklace from the box.

"It's our family," Steve explained. "The heart is you and the stones are me and our children." He took the necklace from her and placed it around her neck. "Your love surrounds us and keeps us whole."

"You're amazing," Kayla sniffed, tears filling her eyes. "I love you so much."

"I don't know about amazing, Sweetness. I just know that I love you, and that you and our children are everything to me."

Kayla looked down at the necklace lying on her chest and then back up at her husband. She felt so much love that she thought she might burst right there. She leaned up and kissed his lips softly, and then with more passion, pouring everything she was feeling into him.

Steve finally pulled back and smiled. "Careful, baby. You don't want to start something you can't finish before your daughter wakes up."

Kayla sighed regretfully. "You're probably right." Then she kissed him again, more playfully this time. "But you better not plan on getting much sleep tonight, Mr. Johnson."

Steve chuckled. "I love how you think. Actually, I love how you do everything."

"The feeling is entirely mutual," Kayla replied. She stood up. "And now it's your turn to open your present."

As Steve leaned back on the couch, Kayla walked to the Christmas tree. She carefully moved several presents before pulling out two boxes and carrying them over to the couch.

"Two presents?" Steve asked with a raised brow. "Now I'm going to have to go shopping again."

Kayla just smiled. "Actually, one of them is really for both of us, so we're still even."

Steve gave her a questioning look, but remained silent as Kayla handed him the first box. "I wanted to find something for you that would symbolize how much I love you and how blessed I am to have you back," she said. Touching her necklace, she smiled ruefully, "Unfortunately, you're not much of a jewelry guy, so I had to come up with something a little more practical."

Steve looked at Kayla but didn't open the present. "You don't need to give me anything to show me you love me, Kayla. I see it in your eyes every day, and I see it in our daughter and in that baby that is growing inside of you."

Kayla leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I know. But there has been something missing for the last week or so, and I wanted to fix it. So open your present."

Steve nodded and carefully opened the box. Kayla watched as his eye widened and a smile crossed his face. Moving the paper inside, he pulled out a leather jacket. It was black with silver zippers on the pockets and the arms. As Steve examined the jacket, Kayla spoke softly.

"I can't seem to remember a time when a leather jacket wasn't part of you. At first, it was a bit intimidating - like you," she said with a smile. "But when I got to know you - the real you - I realized that the jacket wasn't there just to intimidate people, it was there to protect you."

Steve looked up as Kayla continued. She explained, "I realized that the jacket was this shield for you. It projected that 'tough guy' image you wanted everyone to see, but really it was protection for that big heart inside. So now when you wear it, I want you to think of me and our family. We are your protection and will always be here for you. . . ." She grinned. "Plus, it's just weird to see you without one."

Steve's eye was filled with unshed tears as he leaned down and kissed her. "It's beautiful, Sweetness. Thank you so much."

Kayla smiled. "You're welcome. Now there is one more left to open before Stephanie wakes up and has her turn."

"You said this one was for both of us, right?"

Kayla nodded. "Well, sort of. It's actually . . . it's a present you gave me last year, and now it's my turn."

Steve looked at her questioningly. "Last year? Sweetness . . . I wasn't here last year."

"Not in body," Kayla replied with a sad smile. "But . . . somehow, you still sent me a present. It was something you had arranged before you disappeared. It got delivered to the house after I sold it, but Maggie made sure I got it."

Steve's eyebrow rose, and Kayla could tell he had realized what she was referring to. "You mean you actually got that present?"

Kayla nodded and gestured to the box. "Open it."

Steve opened the box and pulled out the bright silver antique teapot. Holding it up, Kayla could see the dual engravings on the side. Just below the engraved names of Emily and Gideon were the names Steve and Kayla and the 1990 date. Steve then reached back into the box and pulled out the card he had included with the teapot the previous year. "A hundred years from now our love will be a legend too."

"When I opened that box last year and saw what you had done, it was like you were still there with me. And even though I knew it was impossible, I couldn't help but feel this tiny bit of hope that, like Gideon returned to Emily when she thought all was lost, you would return to me." She smiled up at Steve as tears fell down her cheeks. "And then you did." She took a deep breath to collect herself. "So I thought it was only fitting that we open this again this year - together. Just like it was always supposed to be."

Steve put the teapot on the coffee table and moved the boxes to the floor. Then he pulled Kayla to him and held her tightly against his chest. She could feel his tears and quietly let hers flow too. She knew that the tears were not of sadness, but of healing. They had been denied this moment by an evil act over a year before, but they had somehow triumphed over that evil and had reclaimed the life together that they had worked so hard to have. The tears they shed now were the final mourning of that time lost.

As they held each other, Kayla heard the tell-tale sounds of her daughter stirring, followed quickly by the familiar calls of "Mama! Papa!" Pulling away, Kayla wiped her tears and then wiped Steve's from his cheek as well. "Sounds like your daughter is ready to open her presents now."

Steve smiled and slid from underneath Kayla and stood. "I'll go get her while you get the camera. I want to capture every moment of this Christmas."

Kayla stood and gave Steve a kiss on the cheek. "I can't think of anything better."

Steve headed for Stephanie's room and Kayla stood still for a moment, listening to the happy squeals of Stephanie greeting her father. She placed a hand over her belly and felt her baby resting there peacefully. She did not know how they had come through everything, but it did not really matter. All that mattered now was that their family was whole and happy and she could only pray that it would always be that way.


	545. Chapter 545

"Come on," Andrew urged as he prepared for his typical full-speed run towards Shawn and Caroline's stairs. Shane was pulling Jeannie out of her car-seat while Kim and Eve were figuring out the logistics of transporting the trunkload of presents to the house. Shane looked over at Kim, who caught his gaze and smiled. She raised her hand and wiggled her ring finger so the sunlight shimmered off the diamond.

Shane smiled back and then had an idea. "Eve, sweetheart, would you take Jeannie? Leave the presents. We'll worry about them in a little while." When Kim gave him a confused look, Shane added, "Just trust me."

He turned Jeannie over to Eve and Kim closed the trunk. He nodded at Eve, who headed toward the Brady house with Andrew and Jeannie, leaving him alone with Kim.

"So what's going on, Shane?" Kim asked. "I don't know if I can take any more surprises today."

"Are you complaining about the surprise?" he asked.

Kim swatted him playfully. "Not at all. . . ." She looked down at the ring and then up at him. "Marrying you again is what I want more than anything in the world. And . . . after everything that's happened, the idea that we're actually going to be able to be together is almost beyond my wildest dreams. I just don't think you can top that."

Knowing exactly how Kim felt, Shane replied, "I wouldn't try." He put an arm around her shoulder. "I just thought we could take a little walk." He could tell she was suspicious, that she thought he had some plan. "I promise you there isn't a marching band or some big surprise on the pier. I just wanted to walk down there."

Giving in, Kim let him guide her down the stairs to the pier. It was not long before they reached the location where Shane and Steve had fought off the dockworkers a few weeks ago. He stopped and looked around the spot.

"Do you remember-" He and Kim said the words almost simultaneously, then stopped. They both chuckled a little momentarily, but they soon grew somber. This part of the pier held a lot of memories.

"You followed me here when I ran out of Roman's wake," Kim said softly. "You were the only one who realized what seeing Uncle Eric after all those years did to me. . . ."

Shane remembered that night well. Looking back now, he could say that he should have known then that he and Kim were meant to be. The connection they had . . . it was always there.

"Not even my family could see it," Kim said.

Shane held her a little more tightly. "Hey, you don't have to think about that. Let's think of something happier."

"Like what?" Kim asked.

"Like the second time we ran into each other here," Shane said, remembering a bitterly cold Christmas eve. "That was the night you invited me to your family Christmas for the first time." He looked out at the river. "That was probably the first time I began to feel a part of a family again, and maybe that's when Salem began to become my home."

Kim turned her body into his and nestled her head against his chest. "I had very good taste, I think."

He held her silently as they both listened to the sound of the water lapping around the pier's pylons. When he spoke again, he realized he almost sounded wistful. "You always had your family, Kimberly. You have no idea what it's like to look back at how lost I was . . . at how empty that way of living was. You gave me a life I had stopped even imagining in my dreams - no, what you gave me was even better than I ever imagined."

Shane felt funny, hearing the emotion in his own voice, but he continued. "And it was only a few months ago that I was back in that dark place, without a family, all alone, thinking I would never find love again."

"Shhhh," Kim said, silencing him. "That's the past, Shane. We've worked through that and I think we both know that's not how you want to live."

"No, it's not." Shane had to agree. "I just want to thank you for giving me a family in the first place - and then for giving it back to me when I was a fool and nearly threw it away. It's like I told that man from the CIA. . . . Family is all that matters to me."

There was a funny look in Kim's eyes when he said that, a look Shane could not read. She stared up at him and then reached up and caressed his cheek. "I think you mean that," she said.

_Does she doubt me_? Shane wondered. "I do mean it," he insisted.

"I know," Kim said. "I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to suggest I didn't believe you." She seemed to think a little before she spoke again. "It's just I was thinking about the ISA and that offer. . . . And . . . maybe you turned it down too fast."

Shane was confused. He thought his decision was settled and Kim approved. After everything they had gone through, he was sure she would be thrilled that the ISA would no longer interfere in their lives. "I turned down the job, Kimberly. Isn't that what you want?"

"But what about what you want?" she asked.

That answer was easy. "I want to be with you and our children; I want to have a happy family."

But Kim pressed him. "Can you really give up being an agent? In a few years, will you look back at today and regret that you didn't take the job?"

"I don't understand," Shane said. His head was spinning. "I thought you, of all people, would be happy. Finally, I've put you and our family first."

"And I love you for making that choice - and for sincerely believing it's the right choice," Kim replied. "But I also think of what you could do as ISA Chief-"

Shane shook his head. "What I could do?"

"You could do a lot of good, Shane." Kim turned in his arm so she was now facing him. "You figured out Lawrence's toxin and you found him when nobody else could, so I know you could lead the ISA. But it's more than just how you solve crimes. It's how you feel about the ISA. Look at the way you wouldn't compromise the ISA even when your life and your future was at stake. Maybe the ISA could use a leader like that, not one who puts children at risk for leverage or barely cares about the lives of the people that work for him."

Shane was floored. This was not what he expected to hear from Kim.

"And I know that, even if you took the job, you would make time for me and your children. We'll always be your priority. That you're ready to turn down the job for us proves that." Kim smiled again. "So think about it." She started to pull away, but took his hand in her's. "Think of the good you can do. . . . Now, come on and let's get over to my folks before Papa sends out a search party."

"Wait. . . ." He held on to her hand. "I think we have a few more minutes before they come looking for us." He pulled her back and wrapped his arms around her again. Kim relaxed against him and they both stared out at the river.

The sun was shining, creating shimmering reflections off the small waves. The water seemed to dance in the light. In the distance, a tugboat blared its horn. It cut through the peaceful lapping of the waves, almost a protest that its occupants were working on the holiday.

"Will you take it?" Kim asked.

She meant the job. Shane did not have an answer. His mind was still reeling and he was still stunned that Kim might want him to return to the ISA. "I could be very happy just like this," Shane answered truthfully. "With no job . . . no obligations other than to hold you and love you and our children."

"I think you would," Kim replied. "But I also know there is a part of you that believes you have obligations that go beyond our family. It's that sense of duty that brought you to Salem in the first place - to stop Stefano - and kept you here after Roman died. You felt responsible to Marlena and wanted to protect Bo, and that's the man I fell in love with. That's always been a part of you, and I'm not sure you'd be the same man if you weren't trying to save the world."

Kim fell silent and leaned her head back against his chest. Shane softly kissed the top of her head and stared out at the river of the town that had become his home.

In his arms, Kim smiled and said, "Whatever you choose, Shane, I'll be happy. I want whatever makes you happy."


	546. Chapter 546

Steve adjusted his white beard and checked his hat one last time. Then, slinging the red bag over his shoulder, he headed down the stairs of the pier with a loud "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Below on the pier, the children looked up and smiles spread across their faces. A little girl who could not have been more than four or five shouted "Santa!" Another boy, who Steve recognized from prior years, shook his head. "That's not Santa. It's Patchy Claus."

The girl looked at the boy in confusion as Steve approached. "That's right, little dude!" Steve said. "Patchy Claus is here with toys for good little boys and girls." He could see the flash of disappointment in the little girl's face, so he settled himself on the last step of the pier and pulled the girl into his lap.

"By the look on your face, I'd say you were hoping for Santa." The little girl nodded shyly. "Well, Santa has so much to do on this day that he gets helpers all over the world, like me," Steve said, smiling. "That way, all of the boys and girls get their presents that Santa picked out for them." He leaned down and said in a conspiratorial whisper, "And I happen to know that there is one in here just for you."

"Really?" the little girl asked, her smile brightening on her face.

"Really," Steve replied. He reached into his bag and pulled out a gift that he and Kayla had wrapped the night before and was specially purchased for a small girl. He handed the package to the girl and watched as she tore through the wrapping paper to find a new doll inside.

"This is the doll I asked Santa to bring me!" she squealed. "You really are Santa's helper!"

Steve laughed heartily and set the girl on the ground with her doll. "That's right, little sweet thing. Santa made sure to tell me that doll was just for you."

The girl smiled broadly and threw her arms around Steve. "Thank you for bringing my doll to me. My mama said that because by daddy lost his job that I shouldn't expect a new doll this year. But I knew that Santa would read my letter and I've been good for weeks."

Steve's heart caught in his throat as the little girl's innocent words. He still remembered those Christmases in the orphanage when the children would make long lists to Santa, always hoping their wishes would be fulfilled. He knew now that the orphanage staff did the best they could, but most Christmases arrived with a small present that rarely matched the wishes of the children. He was thankful that fate or the Big Dude had helped Kayla and him find the perfect present for this little girl. He was glad that she could still have faith in Christmas and Santa for at least another year.

The girl moved off with her new doll and the rest of the children crowded around. Steve recognized some of the faces, but there were always a few new ones and others who he missed. For the next half an hour he handed out the presents to the kids. Some of them appeared to be perfect matches, and he pretended not to notice when a few of the children traded presents after they were opened.

Finally, he was down to the last kid. It was the boy who had identified him as Patchy Claus earlier. Steve looked into the bag at the few remaining presents, thankful that he brought enough for everyone and hoping he could pick the right one for the boy. He pulled one out and handed it to the boy. The boy smiled, opened it, and found a new football inside. He grinned.

"I've been needing a new one of these. My dog got a hold of my old one and, well, it's a little hard to throw now."

Steve laughed. "Keep this one away from the dog and it should last a long time."

The boy nodded and then looked at Steve more closely. "You're not the same Patchy Claus that was here last year. You're the one that used to come here before."

Steve nodded. "Unfortunately, I couldn't be here last year." He looked up as he heard footsteps and saw Kayla approaching with a well-bundled Stephanie. "But I sent the best person I know to fill in for me. I bet she . . . er . . . he did a great job too."

The little boy shrugged slightly. "He was okay, but not as good as you."

Steve saw Kayla stifle a laugh and roll her eyes. Then she said, "I agree. Nobody can replace the real Patchy Claus."

The boy nodded, thanked Steve again, and then headed off to play with his football. Kayla sat down next to Steve and put Stephanie in his lap. Steve looked around at the children with their new toys and then looked at Kayla.

"You did good," she said. "The kids all look so happy."

"_We_ did good," he corrected her. "You picked out a lot of the presents and helped wrap them all." He smiled. "And you kept things going last year, so they didn't give up on ol' Patchy Claus."

Steve saw a sad look cross Kayla's face for a moment. "It wasn't easy to do this last year," she said softly. "But I knew that the kids were counting on me and I didn't want to let them - or you - down."

"Thank you," Steve whispered and leaned over to kiss Kayla on the cheek. It wasn't easy through the fake beard and Kayla giggled as he worked to get his lips through the fake hair. Kayla's giggles seemed to infect Stephanie and soon she was giggling as well. Steve wrapped his arm around Kayla and reveled in the sound of both of his girls laughing.

He again hard footsteps on the pier. Looking, up he saw Jack approaching. He was dressed in a suit and tie with his long overcoat buttoned around him. Steve just shook his head. Even on Christmas his brother could not seem to dress down.

"Merry Christmas, Jackson!" Steve called as Jack reached them. "If you're lucky I might still have a present in here for you. I think a squirt gun would be perfect."

Jack smiled. "I don't think I'm supposed to go near any kind of weaponry." He looked at Kayla, nodded, and brushed his hand over Stephanie's head. "Merry Christmas."

Kayla smiled, but Steve could see the tension that was always there when Jack was around. He would forever be grateful that his wife was willing to tolerate Jack's presence in their life, but he also wanted to spare her as much of that strain as possible.

"Sweetness, why don't you and Stephanie head on over to your folks? I'll wait here in case there are any stragglers and meet you there soon."

"Sure," Kayla replied as she gathered up Stephanie. "Don't be too long though." She headed for the stairs, pausing just briefly next to Jack. "Merry Christmas, Jack." Then she headed off to her parents house.

Steve and Jack stood silently watching her leave. Steve tried to read the expression on his brother's face. He thought there was a mix of regret and sadness there, but he was not really sure. He and Jack might be brothers, but they were also still Jack Deveraux and Steve Johnson, and Steve really could not read Jack any better now than he could when they first met.

Jack finally broke the silence, turning to Steve. "Glad to see you got your old job back. I thought Kayla might try to recruit me next."

Steve laughed at the thought. "The kids are luckier than they know. With you shopping for them, they would all get ties and subscriptions to the Spectator. How are things at the paper these days?"

"Couldn't be better," Jack replied with pride. "Circulation is up, revenues are up, and the accolades are pouring in for our coverage of the toxin attack and death of Lawrence Alamain." He looked Steve in the eye. "Thank you. If you hadn't brought me in on that, I might have been in serious danger of losing the paper."

"Don't thank me, Jack. That's not why I did it."

"I know," Jack agreed. "But regardless of the reason, I'm grateful." He smiled ruefully. "I guess my big brother saved me again. You really are a superhero."

Steve shook his head. "You're wrong, Jack. I'm anything but a superhero. I've made too many big mistakes and hurt too many people to be any kind of hero. I'm just a guy trying to do the right thing for his family."

Jack shrugged. "Well, whatever you are, I think Salem is pretty lucky to have you back." His tone grew serious. "We're all lucky to have you back."

Steve did not know how to respond to the sincere emotion there. He and Jack had written the book on how to avoid emotional conversations over the years. The rare moments that they occurred never failed to surprise Steve.

Jack then reached into his coat and pulled out a small box. "I brought this with me hoping I'd find you here. Merry Christmas."

Steve took the box and stared at it, emotions swirling inside. His little brother had brought him a Christmas present. It was, in some ways, a dream come true. And yet, Steve could not help but be a little suspicious.

Jack must have seen the look on Steve's face and chuckled. "Don't worry, it's not going to explode and it doesn't have a microphone hidden in it."

Steve rolled his eye, but opened the present anyway. Inside was a small framed picture of him, Jack, Jo, and Adrienne. Steve recognized it as having been taken the Christmas before Lawrence took him. It was the first time they had all been together on Christmas.

"I thought you might like to have this," Jack said quietly. "After you . . . disappeared, I used to look at that picture and wonder why we had so little time to be an actual family. Now, it's just the first family picture we managed to take."

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. "Thank you, Billy Jack. I . . . It really means a lot."

Jack nodded and shifted uncomfortably. Then he checked his watch and said, "Well, I better being going. I have to meet Jennifer at the Horton's. Apparently, there will be singing involved."

Steve laughed. "Hard to believe you are part of the Horton clan now." Then he stuck out his hand and Jack shook it. "Have a good Christmas Jack."

Jack looked at their joined hands and offered a rare sincere smile. "I think I already have." Then he turned and headed off up the stairs.

Steve looked down at the picture again. Somehow, despite years of pain, anger, and hurt, his family had managed to find their way back to each other. They would never be the Hortons or the Bradys. There was too much history there that could never be entirely forgotten - or maybe even entirely forgiven. But for a boy who grew up in an orphanage never believing he would ever have any kind of family, it was more than good enough.

He put the picture back in the box and gathered up his things. The pier was now empty as the children had headed off home. As he walked up the stairs, Steve spotted Shane and Kim at the far end of the pier. They looked deep in conversation and he knew he would see them soon, so he did not interrupt and continued on his way.

Soon he reached the Brady house. After a brief stop at his car to rid himself of the red suit and gather the presents he and Kayla had brought for the family, he climbed the stairs to the front door, opened it, and entered the house. Inside he saw nearly the whole Brady clan, including his wife and daughter.

Kayla looked up and smiled at him, and just that smile was enough to make his heart nearly burst. So much had happened, not just recently, but through their entire time together. And yet, watching her with Stephanie on her lap, Steve knew that if that is what it had to take to get to where they were now, he would do every single step over again.

He had everything he had never dreamed was possible. His wife, his daughter, a new baby on the way, and his family - Johnson and Brady. He was home and he was happy.

With that thought, he bellowed a hearty "Merry Christmas" and walked into the warmth of the house feeling something he had never really known before. Peace.


	547. Chapter 547

The party was in full swing when Shane followed Kim through the door of the Brady house. His arms loaded with presents collected from the car, Shane tried to look past the family members swarming around him to locate his children. Andrew was racing around the room with Shawn-Douglas, Eric, and Max, while Sami and Eve were entertaining Jeannie and Stephanie on the living room floor in front of the Christmas tree.

A moment later, Kayla nearly squealed. "Kimmie!" Shane looked over and saw that Kayla had Kim's hand and was pointing at the new ring. Kim blushed.

"Daddy asked Mommy to marry him," Andrew said, taking a break from his cousins to announce the obvious. Then he added, "I gave Mommy the ring."

As everyone broke into laughter and then another round of hugs, Shane found himself face-to-face with Shawn. The elder Brady gave Shane an appraising look and then grinned, "I know I was hard on you, lad, but you're a hard one to make come to your senses. You're stubborn enough to be a Brady." He narrowed his eyes and asked, "You sure you don't have any Irish blood hiding in that limey family tree of yours."

Shane began to respond, but stopped when he heard Steve call for everyone's attention. Turning from Shawn, Shane saw that Steve and Kayla were standing together. Steve had an arm circled around Kayla's waist.

"Well, since this seems to be the right time for important announcements, we've got something to say," Steve started. He looked at Kayla and grinned. "It looks like Stephanie's going to be getting a little brother or sister in a few months."

The room erupted once more. Everyone began congratulating Steve and Kayla, with Caroline demanding to know how long they had known. Shawn was suitably chuffed at the thought of becoming a grandfather again that he did not seem to mind the delay in being told.

Shane hung back until the Bradys had finished fussing over the couple and then approached Steve. "I can't say I'm just finding out," he said, "but I am happy for the two of you."

"Well you'd better be," Steve replied. "I've got plans for you."

Shane had no idea what that meant, but Kayla quickly explained. She had walked up with Kim by her side. "What Steve means is that we've talked about it, and we can't think of anyone we want more to be the baby's godparents than the two of you."

Unable to contain his surprise, Shane looked at Kim. It was hard to forget that just a few months ago, Steve and he had nearly come to blows over Shane holding Stephanie.

"Are . . . are you sure?" Shane stammered.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Yes, we're sure. We'll even talk about getting that pony when the time comes."

"I don't care about a pony," Kim said. "Absolutely." She enveloped Steve in an embrace. Then she grabbed Kayla and pulled her away to talk about the baby.

Still stunned, Shane had to shake his head in wonder. _So much has changed_. Finally, he said, "I'm honored, Steve."

"Yeah, well. . . . I know there's nobody we can trust more than you and Kim," Steve said. He laughed sardonically. "Can you believe I just said that, after everything that happened the last couple months?"

Shane knew what Steve meant. "It is amazing."

"A hell of a couple of months, it's been," Steve said, turning to look at Kayla and Kim, who were now talking excitedly with Caroline as they readied Christmas dinner. Steve glanced at Shane sidelong and said, "So what are you plans now? I mean now that you're done with the ISA. Or are you?"

For a moment, Shane wanted to laugh at Steve's attempt to be subtle. "Funny question, coming today," Shane replied. "Kim didn't happen to mention a job offer to Kayla did she?"

Steve shook his head and then, not doing a good job of feigning ignorance, asked, "What kind of job offer?"

"It seems like there is an opening at the ISA."

"Really?" Steve said. "So they'd send you back out in the field?"

_Nope, subtlety is not one of Steve Johnson's more developed skills_, Shane thought, before saying, "It's not a field agent job - but then I suspect you knew that. It seems the agency is looking to replace Tarrington."

"Woah." Steve's words did not actually match his tone, despite his attempt to act surprised.

"Yes," Shane explained. "You see . . . some members of the Congressional committee that oversees the ISA, plus some important people in the White House, received a very interesting audio recording." Shane watched Steve for a reaction. "Apparently, they were quite unhappy with Tarrington's willingness to . . . what were the words of the man from the CIA . . . 'trample on the civil liberties of ordinary citizens.'"

This time, Steve did not bother to fake any surprise. "You don't say."

Shane chuckled. "Oh, yes . . . so the Chief has been given a nice retirement package and sent off quietly to live by the seaside."

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy," Steve muttered. "Hope they have sharks."

Shane grew serious. "I appreciate it, Steve."

"What does this have to do with me?" Steve asked, again trying to feign ignorance.

"Peachy spotted you in DC the other day," Shane said. "With the charges against me dropped, she got pulled from her deep cover. She was at ISA Headquarters when you left your package for Tarrington."

Steve shrugged and dropped his facade. "I should've let him be blindsided, but I thought he might go more quietly if he knew what was coming." Looking carefully at Shane, he asked, "So are you going to take the job?"

"I don't know," Shane said, though he suspected he did. "Kim thinks I should; I'm just not sure I want to deal with that. . . .

"Deal with what?" Steve pursed his lips. "The bad guys? That's what you're good at."

Shane shook his head and kept his voice low. He didn't want Kim to overhear. "What it might do to me." When Steve looked back with a blank expression, Shane tried to explain, "Look at the last ISA Chiefs we've had - Tarrington, Vaughn, Nickerson. . . . Look at how they let the job corrupt them. I don't know . . . maybe that's just how you need to be to run the ISA. Whatever it is, that's not me."

"And they're not you," Steve said, a bit sharply. "You're not Tarrington or Vaughn. You don't play god with people's lives. Just look at what you did with those charges. You could have done a lot of things to save your skin, but you wouldn't because you wouldn't compromise what you believed was right. You wouldn't reveal ISA secrets and you wouldn't call Nowicki or Deakins to testify. . . . You think Tarrington would have thought twice about Deakins' family if it meant saving his own skin?"

Shane had to concede Steve had a point.

"You're what the ISA needs," Steve added. "I can't believe I'm saying that, but you can do a lot of good, and you could fix a lot of things that are wrong there. That's what I told those dudes in Washington."

Falling silent for a minute, Shane thought about Steve's words. "If I take the job," but from the way he said that, Steve had to know the "if" really meant "when." "If I take the job," Shane repeated. "There would be a place for you. We could use you."

"Not a chance, Donovan," Steve said. "If you hadn't figured out, I don't exactly do things by the book."

"Maybe . . . just maybe the ISA could use a little instruction from the Steve Johnson school of throwing away the book." Shane chuckled again, then grew serious. "We may not see eye to eye on everything and it may not be the way I approach things, but it seems to work for you."

Steve laughed in response. "Funny, but I've been thinking the same thing about you." He punched Shane in the shoulder lightly. "Nah, the ISA's your gig. I've got to find my own thing." He glanced across the room to where Roman and Bo were talking. "Speaking of which, Roman wanted to talk to me about the Torres gang. Seems Rafi Torres is making noise about taking over for his dad." Steve started to walk away, but stopped and looked back at Shane. "Take the job, Donovan. It's the right thing to do."

"Hey, wait . . . Steve. . . ." Shane waited for Steve to finish acting exasperated. Then Shane said, "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

Steve laughed loudly. "As a guy I know once said, 'That's what family's for.' And you know what? He's a pretty smart dude." He turned and headed toward Roman.

That left Shane to mull things over in his mind. He could do it. He could remake the ISA without being corrupted like the chiefs before him. And he would make it work at home; he would not sacrifice his family.

He took a moment to look around the room, first at Andrew, who was playing with some toy lightsabers with Shawn-Douglas. His son looked great. Not only had Andrew fully recovered from his ordeal in the woods, but, with Shane going free, all of the fear and stress seemed to have left him. He was a happy little boy once more.

Shane turned his attention to Eve, who was picking Jeannie off the floor. His gaze came to rest on Jeannie. It was so strange that, a few months earlier, he had struggled to even look at his darling daughter. Now he felt as strong a bond to her as to either of his other children. He had come so close to never knowing she was his little girl, and now he wouldn't hesitate to give his life for her.

"Hey."

Kim's voice jarred him out of his thoughts and he looked down at her and smiled.

"Food's ready," Kim said. "Or were you too lost in your thoughts to hear Mama sounding the alarm?"

"Sorry," Shane said. "I was just thinking - about our family, and how lucky we are."

Caroline's call to dinner must have interrupted Steve's plan to talk to Roman, because Steve and Kayla passed by on their way to the table. Shane saw the way she looked at Steve and the bright, excitement in her eyes. She gave Steve a soft smile and he crouched, put a hand over her abdomen, and broke into a grin, probably at the feel of the baby kicking. Then, over Steve's shoulder, Kayla looked up and realized Shane was watching them. Her eyes were filled with a peace and happiness that had not been there when Steve was gone, and Shane felt a surge of joy at what he saw. That had been what he had wanted for her all along - to be happy - and it was obvious that Kayla and Steve were deeply in love and deliriously happy.

Kayla continued to smile, and gave Shane a quick nod, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. Then Steve rose, blocking Kayla from Shane's view, and the two of them headed for the table.

Next to him, Kim took his hand. Shane looked at her and could see almost the same look Kayla had given Steve. The depth of love that reflected back at him was unlike anything he had ever seen or experienced.

Shane squeezed her hand as she looked into his eyes and asked, "Are you okay?"

The answer came immediately and simply as he wrapped an arm around hers and led her toward the already-crowded table.

"I couldn't be happier."

- _Finis_ -


End file.
